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Sweet Psychopathic Crush

Summary:

Evan expected for the jewel room to have some good security, that’s why Brianne had been on top of it to make sure Carlos was able to hack into them.

Didn’t seem to make any difference in the end.

aka the heist from these losers perspectives

Notes:

people wanted more of this series and so I must supply happy halloween everyone <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The security at the Louvre was some of the worst that Evan had ever seen. Seriously, one of – if not the most famous – museums in all of the world and they couldn’t even install cameras in all of the rooms. Evan expected for the jewel room to have some, that’s why Brianne had been on top of it to make sure Carlos was able to hack into them.

Didn’t seem to make any difference in the end.

By some miracle, the room was empty. Evan had to stop himself from trailing a hand over the gold trim of the walls. He hadn’t yet put his gloves on, and he didn’t want to leave behind any sort of finger prints. The Galeria d’Apollon was magnificent, one of the grandest he’d ever stepped foot in. The ceiling was covered in brilliant paintings of the sun god himself glowed from their own artificial light. Figures peered down at Evan as he strolled through the gallery: architects, monarchs, and other artists.

“Evan, focus.” Vienna snapped her fingers. The sound echoed through the gallery.

Evan blinked and pulled himself back into his body. For a moment he’d forgotten all about the heist. “Right, yes, of course.” His phone buzzed in his pocket.

“Lola says the guards are clear.” Vienna scoped out the jewel casings and pulled on her gloves. “Freaks, the lot of them.”

Evan couldn’t exactly disagree. He didn’t enjoy the idea of Lola – the youngest of them, still seventeen – being the one to distract the guards, but she was the most people oriented of them. Brianne said it was for the best, and she’d planned everything down to a tee.

He pulled his own gloves on and fished through his bag to get the disc cutter. They couldn’t waste anymore time. Lola could only hold the guards for so long, plus Carlos and Brianne needed to get to the gallery so they could all leave. The thing with heists was that they needed to be fast. The less time spent in the museum, bank, whatever location was being robbed, the better.

The gallery erupted into an array of noise. Evan cringed. He knew this part was inevitable, knew there was no other way to get the jewels out from their cages, but that didn’t mean he had to enjoy it. Vienna followed through with her own glass cutting, adding to the cacophony. Evan counted the seconds, begged that he wouldn’t reach too high of a number.

“Go for the necklaces, they can be broken up more easily.” Vienna reminded him.

“Yes, I know, Vi.” The glass fell away, and Evan reached into the case. He pulled out a silver and emerald necklace. He’d look into what he took at a later date, now it was more important to take what he could get. A pair of matching earrings rested beside the necklace, so he pilfered that too.

There was a grand crown, plated with gold and covered in diamonds. His heart rose to his throat as he held it in his hands.

He shoved the jewels into his bag and looked down at his watch. The minutes ticked on. They needed to leave. Evan put a hand on Vienna’s shoulder. “Where are the others?” She finished placing her jewels into her bag and pulled her phone from her pocket, face contorted in strict focus. She pulled off her gloves so she could type away. It took a few seconds to get a response. “Carlos is on his way. Lola might be a minute.”

“And Brianne?”

“Right here.” The woman in question sauntered into the gallery like it was a normal morning, as if Evan and Vienna’s bags weren’t filled with millions of dollars worth of stolen jewels. “Come on, off we get.”

Evan cringed. “But the others-”

“Will be here right-”

Lola and Carlos stumbled into the gallery, Lola looking a little out of breath.

“Now. Great, let's dip.” Brianna practically pushed the two back towards the window they’d broken in through.

If Evan had known security would be so horrid, he would have suggested just going right through the front door.

Getting to the ground was a slow affair, one that made his breath quicken. They needed to get as far from the museum as quickly as possible – the furniture lift moved at a snail’s pace. Evan gripped the railing. They were going to get caught, he just knew it, all that planning was going to be for nothing. What the fuck was he thinking breaking into the Louvre of all places? Stealing some of the most important artifacts in French history?

A hand on his shoulder broke him from his thoughts. “Relax, Ev.”

Carlos’ words poured over him like cool summer rain. The anxiety that once flooded over him dissipated. It became easier to breathe. For a moment, he thought he should have taken something from the jewels just for Carlos, something like a ring or bracelet since he knew the man liked those sorts of things. Now, he felt silly for not thinking of such a thing only a few minutes sooner.

They got to the ground before Evan could do anything stupid like returning to the gallery for a gift. Brianne instructed Evan and Vienna to remove their neon construction worker’s vests as they group disappeared into an alley. They shoved the vests into their bags as well.

Brianne pulled an electric scooter from behind a dumpster. “There’s two more.”

Evan’s gaze narrowed. “There’s four of us.”

She shrugged. “Looks like some of you’ll be sharing then. Hurry up. The sooner we get to the streets the more we’ll just look like some teenage tourists.”

Evan couldn’t argue with that. He was about to ask Vienna if she wanted to double up, but Lola was already climbing onto a scooter with her, wrapping her arms around the other’s waist.

“Looks like it’s you and me, cabrón.” Carlos pulled him towards the remaining scooter. He stood on it like it was nothing, like Evan wasn’t going to have to press against him so they could both make it on the thing.

Evan took a deep breath and got on, willing his mind and body to not make a complete fool of itself.

“Ready?” Brianne asked, tone a bit more clipped than it previously had been.

Carlos turned around and looked Evan in the eye. “We should leave something behind.”

“Why would we do that?” Lola questioned.

“That way the authorities might lose confidence once they can’t find any more clues. Plus, it’ll make the public a bit happier I think.” Carlos nudged Evan.

The man unzipped his bag, careful not to touch any of the jewels with his hands. At random, he eased one of the jewels out. What dropped onto the hard, stone ground was the gold crown that made his heart soar. Now it was a bit sore as he watched it bounce along the alleyway. He knew they were going to cut the jewels up anyway – from the research they’d done that was the easiest way to get rid of them – but something about the informality of the action made his stomach churn.

“Great.” Carlos had a wide grin on his face.

That was almost enough to improve Evan’s mood completely.

The group sped out of the alley after he re-zipped his bag and secured the straps around his arms. The same thrill that overcame him when he first thought about the heist, then when he stepped into the gallery, washed over Evan. Wind whipped across his face, and warmth from Carlos’ body seeped into his.

Evan leaned a bit closer, told himself it was for safety. He couldn’t believe they were getting away with this.

Notes:

highkey want to right a post-heist (fix-it au???) fic surrounding each of the characters like a one-shot for evan/carlos, lola/vienna, and brianne

what do we think?

hope y'all have a great day/night/wheneever you're reading this

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