Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I think you should leave.”

Loki looked up from the vending machine to see Hannah facing him, a grim yet determined look on her face. They had been at odds ever since she had shown up at the hospital. She had been staunchly against ‘pushing Kit to remember’ as she put it and didn’t want anyone to tell her anything that might upset her. Turned out, it had been more upsetting for Kit to be kept in the dark and she had finally let it be explosively known. While it had been difficult to see Kit in such distress, it reminded him of the first night they’d met and the magnificent display of fury she’d released on Strange. It had actually been a relief to see a glimpse of his little hellcat again, and he’d had to hide a smile at the memory. “Why is that?”

“You’re only going to make this harder for Kit.”

“Not to be the bearer of bad news but, this was always going to be hard for Kit, whether I’m here or not. Besides, how do you know that me being here isn’t what helps her regain her memories?”

Hannah’s expression softened. “Do you really believe that?”

Loki looked away. He had no answer for her. He wanted to believe it, but knew in his heart it wasn’t true.

“Maybe this is a good thing for both of you,” Hannah continued. “She always knew that you wouldn’t be able to stay here with her, so if you left now, when she doesn’t remember you, it might be better for her in the long run. Less heartache, you know?”

Loki met Hannah’s eyes and, for the briefest of moments, allowed himself to be vulnerable in front of her. “But what about me?” He knew it had been a mistake the moment the words left his mouth. It was selfish to think of himself at a time like this, and Hannah’s expression mirrored his thoughts.

“Honestly Loki, I don’t really care,” she said. Her words didn’t come across as harsh but simply the truth. “Look, she can spend the rest of her life with you, but you can’t spend the rest of yours with her. So do her a favor and go back to Asgard, move on with someone else, and live out your very long life without her.”

***

Kit was, at least for now, alone, which allowed her to simply bask in the early morning sunshine coming through her hospital window and think about the past few days. The last thing she remembered was sitting at her desk in the library of the Sanctum and the next, she was waking up in a hospital bed surrounded by people. Hannah and Stephen she knew but the two men who were introduced as Thor and Loki, she had no memory of.

The shift in the room when Kit said as much would have been palpable to anyone, even if they weren’t an empath, but to her, it felt like a rollercoaster that had come to a swift, unexpected stop as the elation and joy that surrounded her crumbled into despair and sadness. Everyone’s wide, happy grins turned sour as their attention shifted to the dark haired man at her side who gripped her hand as if it were a life line. Worry that she had said something wrong only intensified as anguish and despair rolled off him in waves that threatened to drown her until she was forced to put up her shield spell. He had winced slightly when it fell into place, as if he had been able to feel the loss of their connection. Kit had been thankful when a cheerful nurse had come into the room at that point and shooed everyone out.

It soon became apparent to Kit, and everyone else, that her memory loss wasn’t limited to a single person, but actually encompassed months of her life. On top of that, no one seemed willing to explain to her just what had happened to land her in the hospital in the first place. Whatever it was had been pretty serious, if her injuries were anything to go by. The right side of her face was swollen and bruised, she had a black eye, a busted lip, abrasions on her wrists and ankles, and chemical burns around her mouth and nose. And yet, knowing all that, every time she asked, her questions were met with platitudes or vague answers, followed by a change in subject.

Kit had also noticed a rift between Hannah and Loki over the last few days. Every time they were out of the room at the same time, when one or both would return, tension was evident in their body language and facial expressions. Loki seemed better at hiding it than Hannah did, though neither would admit anything was wrong. It seemed like all the people that supposedly cared for her and her well-being were keeping things, important things, from her and it hadn’t taken long for the fear that simmered in her belly to explode out of her in a fit of anger.

Hannah had been taken aback by her outburst and had begun to stumble through an explanation, when Loki, who had remained calm in the wake of Kit’s fury, stepped forward and offered to fill in the details. He had so rarely spoken in the last few days, the sound of his voice had caught her off guard. It was a low baritone that resonated in her chest and filled her with a sense of safety and security, though she had no idea why. He was a stranger to her, yet she found herself repeatedly glancing in his direction, seeking him out without meaning to. Not because she had forgotten he was there, she always seemed to be aware of where he was in the room, but more for the simple solace that seeing him brought her.

Loki seemed to be struck with the same malady, though he expressed it through touch. It wasn’t out of the ordinary to feel a gentle caress of her hand, arm, or hair, and she wasn’t sure if he was fully aware that he was doing it. What puzzled her however, was that instead of being upset by someone she didn’t know repeatedly touching her, she was comforted by it. She had her shield spell up at all times now, being surrounded by so many people coming and going into her room all the time, but not once had she thought to use her protection spell to stop him. In fact, she found herself inexplicably drawn to him and the immense power that surrounded him. It was as if he had found a way through her defenses and into her very soul.

Loki had warned Kit that though he would never lie to her, there were things he wasn’t going to tell her. Either because he didn’t want to overwhelm her with too much information all at once, or because he hadn’t been there to witness what happened. Though she wasn’t thrilled with the idea that he would still be keeping things from her, she understood why, and so agreed to hear him out. It had quickly become evident Hannah was completely opposed to the idea when she abruptly sat back in her chair and folded her arms with a dissatisfied huff.

The story Loki told left Kit speechless, and at the same time, with more questions. On one hand, it made sense, in a weird, twisted way, that Nick would escalate to stalking and kidnapping, but how had he found her? And how had he gotten his hands on the orb? Also, it was reasonable that Loki would help with the search for the orb since it’s last known location was Asgard, but to hear that she had allowed him into her circle, they had scried together, and that it apparently had worked, sounded almost preposterous. As was the idea that, not only had she invited him into her apartment, but that he was familiar enough with her home to be able to notice when things were out of place to the point he could tell a struggle had happened. She would have had to have complete trust in him to do either of those things, which made it feel like they had more than just a working relationship.

Kit was pulled from her thoughts when a knock sounded moments before the door to her room opened and a young woman with dark curly hair stepped in.

“Good morning, Katherine,” she greeted her. “I’m Stacy and I’ll be your nurse this morning. How are you feeling today?”

Kit returned her smile and moved to sit up as she spoke. “Better and better every day.”

“Just what I wanted to hear,” Stacy said as she checked Kit’s chart. “Looks like I’ve got good news. You’ve been cleared for release today. So as soon as the paperwork gets squared away, you can go home.”

Kit’s polite smile broadened into a genuine grin. “That’s the best news I’ve heard all day.

***

Loki was still and quiet in the hospital room, his demeanor at complete odds with the turmoil that raged inside of him. He stared at the pitiful excuse for a man lying prone in front of him as Hannah’s words echoed in his mind. “... you should leave… less heartache… live without her…” How was he supposed to do that? Somehow, his happiness, his life, his very soul, had become entangled with one little Midgardian woman, and now, he was supposed to just walk away? Leave her to struggle through this hardship alone? The one person in all the realms that loved him for who he was, but at the same time, made him want to be a better man? That was who Hannah claimed he should turn his back on? No, he thought to himself as he turned to pace the room, he couldn’t do that. Their current situation was proof of what could happen if he left Kit here on her own.

Although, that wasn’t entirely true. Would he have been able to take out the threat to Kit if he had been with her instead of away on Asgard? Undoubtedly. Would it have stopped Nick from trying? Not at all. He was a crazed man who had been fixated on her for years, and probably would be for the rest of his life. Loki paused and glanced again at the pile of refuse asleep in the bed. If what Hannah said was true, that him being gone would make Kit’s recovery easier, and he could protect her in the process, by removing the thing that had caused her so much pain, would it be worth it then?

Loki looked down as he conjured the Orb of Manasses into his open palm. It felt like a curse and a blessing, and it was only one of the two missing relics. Hope burst through him as an idea began to take shape in his mind. Katara’s Key. That was the solution to this whole mess. If he could find the key, and get it to Kit, then they would be able to restore her memories, and all would be right again. So, he would leave, he decided, but not because he was giving up, he would never do that. He would leave to give Kit time to recover from her injuries while he searched for the key. His optimistic smile turned deadly as he dismissed the orb and focused on the other man in the room. And maybe take a little revenge in the process.

Chapter Text

Kit sat cross-legged on the bed and listened to the muffled sounds of music, and the occasional roar of laughter, that filtered in through the open window. It seemed like the whole city was celebrating the nation’s birthday and the fireworks had been amazing, but it had gotten to be too much, and she ended up leaving the party early. Everyone had understood but she still felt guilty, even though she knew she shouldn’t.

It had been mere days since Kit had been released from the hospital, but since the only people Stephen ever invited to his annual rooftop cookout were current and former students of the Sanctum, she thought it would be a safe enough event to attend. It had been, physically, as her injuries were healing at a rapid rate thanks to her Harlow’s Syndrome, but mentally, it had been discouraging.

The night had started out pleasant enough, but the more people that showed up, the more Kit realized just how much she didn’t know because of the chunk of time she was missing. While she was happy to hear John had a new job, overjoyed when Mary told her she was expecting twins, and instantly fell in love with Jessie’s new dog, she was also sad because the friends she had made since coming to train here, suddenly felt more like strangers. Curiously, the one person she had no memories of, Loki, was the one she longed to see the most. How do you miss someone you don’t even know?

Kit was grateful to Stephen for letting her stay at the Sanctum. It was familiar ground in what felt like a world of shifting sand. It was odd, however, to be so comfortable in one of the guest rooms. While she was accustomed to being on the training grounds, in the library, or even Stephen’s office, she had never spent much, if any, time in this part of the Sanctum. Stephen thought it might be because it had been Loki’s room, but she had rejected that notion outright. Even though both he and Hannah had confirmed that she and the actual Asgardian God of Mischief had indeed been in a relationship, she wasn’t sure she could believe them, because if that was the case, where was he? He had been a fixture in her hospital room right up until the day she had been released, but she hadn’t seen or heard from him since.

There was a knock at the door and Kit looked up to see Hannah poke her head into the room. “Hey,” she said tentatively. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” Kit said.

Hannah closed the door behind her and crossed the room to sit on the edge of the bed next to Kit. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Kit breathed, “just got to be a little too much for me, you know?”

“I was worried about that,” Hannah confessed, “but I’m proud of you for trying.”

“Thanks.”

“Listen, I was thinking… ”

“Oh no. That sounds like trouble,” Kit teased.

“Anyway… what I was going to say was that I think you should come home with me, at least for a little while.” Hannah continued. “You can hang out and recuperate there just as easily as you can here. We can shop for stuff for your apartment, catch a show, hit up a couple of museums… What do you think?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Kit said hesitantly.

“Come on, it’ll be fun! And I have great internet, so you can still work from home if you want to.”

“What about Brad?”

“What about him?”

“Will he mind if I crash at your place while we fix up mine?” Kit watched as Hannah’s face fell. “What?”

“We broke up. A couple of months ago.”

Kit rubbed her face with her hands. She was so tired of this happening all the time. “Shit. I’m sorry. I- “

“Don’t be,” Hannah said with a shake of her head. “That’s actually one of the reasons I was hoping you would come stay with me. I’m not used to being by myself so much.”

Kit knew loneliness like it was an old friend, and that it had been hard for Hannah to admit that. Besides, it would be fun, and a nice change of pace. “Alright,” she agreed. “If you're sure.”

“Yes!” Hannah said excitedly as she jumped to her feet and started for the door. “This is going to be great. You’ll see.”

***

The next morning Kit headed to Stephen’s office to let him know she was going to stay with Hannah, when she heard voices coming from the open door.

“How is she?”

“She’s getting better every day, but it’s been rough. To her, she went to sleep one night and woke up in the hospital, injured and missing months of her life.” That was obviously Stephen, but who was he talking to?

“Did it help? For Loki to leave?” the man asked.

“I’m beginning to question if it was a good idea to convince him to go. We thought she felt pressured to regain her memories when he was around, but now that he’s gone, she said it feels like a piece of her is missing, which only seems to upset her more.”

Wait a damn minute, Kit thought. Not only did Stephen know why Loki had left, but he had a hand in it?

“How is he holding up with all this?” Stephen asked.

“I don’t know. He appeared one day with an unconscious man in one hand and the orb in the other. He didn’t say a word, just dropped the crate on the table in front of Father and I, and we haven’t seen him since.”

Father? Did he mean Odin? Was this Thor? Had Loki taken the orb back to Asgard for safekeeping?

“Well, that answers that question.”

“What’s that?”

“We’d heard Nick had escaped from the hospital somehow but now I have a feeling that’s not what happened.”

“No, I can almost guarantee it.”

That was news to Kit. She had been under the impression that Nick was in police custody but now she finds out that they technically didn’t know where he was? The stranger’s assertion wasn’t very reassuring. “Almost isn’t good enough,” she said as she pushed the door further open and announced her presence. It was indeed Thor with whom Stephen had been talking and both men looked shocked at her entrance.

“Katherine,” Stephen said as they both stood. Guilt immediately colored his expression and words as he continued. “Thor here was just inquiring about you.”

“Yes, I heard,” Kit said coolly. “Why didn’t you tell me Nick was missing?” She rounded on Thor. “And why are you so certain he didn’t escape the hospital?”

The men exchanged glances before Stephen spoke. “I’m sorry. It’s just that we were worried it would cause you undue stress,” he explained. “You’ve had so much upheaval in the last week- “

“That he caused!” Kit exploded. “I had a right to know that maniac could be running around the streets of New York, and you kept that from me!” She turned her furious gaze to the man next to her when she heard him clear his throat. He was more than a head taller than her and had a massive build, but she did not falter.

“Lady Katherine,” he said as he fidgeted slightly under her scrutiny, “if I know my brother, I don’t believe you have anything to worry about in regard to your attacker.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that, while I have not seen the man in question and so wouldn’t be able to confirm whether it was him that Loki had with him that day, if someone harmed you in any way, there would be nothing that would stop him from eradicating it from all existence. You have my word on that,” he said unequivocally.

Kit’s anger dissipated as quickly as it had come, and she sank into a chair, deflated. “That makes no sense.”

“Of course it does.”

Kit looked up into the eyes of yet another person that seemed to know her better than she knew them. “Why?”

Thor knelt at her side. “Because he loves you,” he said softly. “Loki doesn’t let many people have a piece of his heart, but to you, litla systir, he has given all of it. So, he will do whatever is necessary to keep you safe and happy, even if it means destroying himself.”