Work Text:
It is Halloween. Sam and Jay, Bela, Eric and Kyle are holding a séance
They are holding hands and try so summon the spirits from beyond. The Ghosts are watching in the background.
Sam: Spirits, spirits whide and near, from the beyond...
A hole in the ceiling opens and Edward, Isaacs old love affair, appears.
The ghosts, Sam and Kyle scream. As usual Bela, Eric and Jay have no clue what is going on.
Isaac: Edward, what are you doing here? They hugg
Edward: I had to see you, 250 years is just to long! I need to speak to you, before you marry that british soldier.
Jay: Sam, can you please tell me what is going on. Did the séance worked?
Sam: It worked very well, apparently a former lover of Isaac came down from heaven.
Jay: Nigel will hate that, the wedding was schedulded for next week. There will be so much gay drama for the next days. Come on Eric, Kyle, how about a cold beer in the kitchen, and you explain the scetches for the restaurant to me again?
Eric: We leave you girls to handle the drama. Bela, you must tell me everything afterwards!
Bela: You can bet on that!
They leave
Nigel: (green with envy): Isaac, i am still here, can you explain to me what is happening! Speak to me!
Isaac (hardly looks at Nigel): This is Edward, a dear friend. We grow up together. He married one of my sisters.
Nigel (dripping with sarcasm): Ah, the famous Edward, your innocent, chaste university crush.
Edward: Well, not so chaste and innocent afterall.
Isaac: There where things going on at university, i never told you about. (Isaac gets really red)
Nigel: Its getting better and better. I think,
i am going back to the shed. You know where to find me, if you still want to get married to me. Sam, thank you for an lovely evening! (he salutes and leaves)
Thorfinn (in the background): That is even better than It's Getting Hot In Here.
Sasapphis: Ssssh, i don't want to miss the drama, this is so good.
Isaac: Edward, i think, we should talk, without all the ghosts and livings listening. Lets go to my room.
Edward: We have a lot to catch up.
They climb the stairs
Isaac says: So tell me, how is heaven?
Edward: Two words, really boring! Better stay here!
Isaac: It can get really boring here too, there is not much you can do, beeing a ghost!
Edward: But definitly better, than listining to to some stupid old farts discussing moral philosophy all the time!
Nobody sees Isaac and Edward for days. All the ghosts are taking turns, listen to the strange noises coming from the Isaacs room.
The ghosts are placing bets how long this will go on.
Jay talks to Sam in the kitchen.
Jay: So Isaac and his new crush haven't left his room for days? I must ask you some silly questions. Can ghosts have sex for days? Do they ever need a break? Do they get sore?
Sam: I have no answer for any of your questions! I never asked a ghost about that and actually i don't want to know! I am more concerned about poor Nigel. To be abandoned like this is horrible. And what about the wedding?
Jay: I think, you can cancel the DJ, maybe we can get some of the money back. And thank god, i didn't started baking the cake,
It would have been such a waste. The wedding is the last thing on Isaacs mind now! That happens when you repress your needs for 250 years! A little temptation and suddenly they walls come crashing down.
Sam: I guess, you are right.
The next morning, Isaac comes to the kitchen, he is alone. Trevor start to make jokes about grey hairs and bowlegs and serious backpain, but Isaac doesn't really listens.
Hetty: And where is Edward? Is he still sleeping, after you kept the whole house awake till the early hours?
Isaac (embarassad): He isn't here anymore, he got sucked off!
Hetty: While you where..?
Isaac: All i will say about that is, when he got sucked off, he was a really happy man!
Has anyone seen Nigel around, i need to speak to him.
Sam: Just a wild guess, he is in the shed moping. You know, that tomorrow is actually your wedding day! If you want to apologise to Nigel, you better hurry!
Isaac: Oh god, i complettly forgot about the stupid wedding.
Trevor: Yeah, you where quiete busy with other things the last days! As we all could hear!
Isaac goes to the shed. Nigel sits on the bed, reads in his book of poems. He looks very ill, even for a ghost.
Baxter and Jenkins are with him and are trying to cheer him up, unsuccessfully.
Nigel looks up and says: Isaac, just go away,
i don't want to talk to you ever again!
Baxter and Jenkins are leaving the shed with the speed of light, knowing the fierce temper of their superior.
Isaac: Please, listen to me..
Nigel (very angry): No, you will listen, just this once! You abandonend me, the minute your old lover appeared. Then you dissappeared with him in your room for days, to fornicate and all the ghosts on the grounds know about it. You humiliated me in front of all our friends. Have you got any idea, how i feel about this? You never wanted a physical relationship with me, all i ever got was a kiss on christmas or on my birthday. And all this talking about waiting until the wedding night, and i was such an idiot to think, that you are just shy. But the second your former lover is back, all of a sudden you are willing to do all the things with him, you where to scared to try with me! You never loved me, i was just a replacement. I am ending the engagement,
i am finished with you! Just go!
Isaac: I came here to apologise, and to tell you, Edward got sucked off this morning, he is gone. I am so sorry, i don't know what came over me. I am such a fool.
Nigel: And what excactly do you expect me to do? Now that your lover is gone, to fall sobbing in to your arms and take you back?
I am so sorry, that i am not feeling sorry for you at all.
Isaac: I see, maybe we should talk when you calmed down a little bit.
Nigel: That won' t happen, just go away.
Isaac: So i guess, our wedding tomorrow is canceled?
At that moment Nigels secret ghostpower shows itself. He throws his book at Isaac, it hits him in face and zapps back to Nigels coatpocket.
But Isaac gets the message anyway and leaves very quickly.
A few days later. Both Nigel and Isaac, are sorry what they have said and done. They agree to meet at a neutral place, meaning the vault.
They are sitting with their backs backs to each other.
Nigel: Can i start? I am sorry that i yelled at you and throwing the book in your face. I didn't knew, that i am able to do something like that.
Isaac: Yes, your ghostpower ist very impressive. I guess, it only comes up, when you are really angry. I am sorry too.
Seeing my old flame after more than 250 years was so overwhelming. I simply forgot about you or our approaching nuptials.
I was so happy to see Edward again.
Nigel: But why did you dissappear for days with him, and never ever tried to explain what was going on to me?
We wanted to get married within days and suddenly you cut me off without an explanation!
You who made me sleep on the library sofa again, to resist temptation before our wedding night.
Isaac: It was so good seeing Edward again. We grow up together, we know each other so well. We come from similar backgrounds. We can meet at equal terms. With you i always felt, like i wasn't good enough. And beeing with him was so easy. In my life or afterlife i never had the change to let go and just be in the moment. It was so liberating not to watch over my shoulder all the time, and just let it all happen.
Nigel: You could have had all these things with me, if you just trusted me enough.
But you where never been able to do that, you always played on time.
Isaac: Because i thought, that you would found me unappealing, you are perfect, but i am so different. I felt like an oger compared to you.
Nigel: I am far from perfect, i have webbed feet and two missing fingers, i am pale and have freckles everywhere. Did it ever came to your mind, what i always found so attractive about you, is that you are so different from me? I never wanted to be with somebody who looks like me, i always wanted a real guy like you!
Isaac: I never cared about the webbed feet or the missing fingers, i like you just as you are and the freckles are cute.
I am from an puritan home. From an early age on, i was taught to constantly doubt myself, to despise my body and suppress my needs. It certainly doesn't help to open up to another person.
Nigel: I grow up very similar. Going to public school and later joining the army, it makes you even more self conscious.
Isaac: What i learned from Sams selfimprovement audio files is, i need to learn to love myself, to accept myself as i am.
I came out of the closet only a year ago. I am not done with it. This is a learning process. Until then i am not ready to be in a relationship or to marry.
Nigel: I can see that. Take all the time that you need. I am not going anywhere. We still can have our daily walks, and our discussions and listening to audio files.
Isaac: I would love that.
Nigel: Sometimes it takes a meanless tryst at christmas and several days of fornication with a former lover, to see what you still have, is so much better.
Isaac: Yes, i think i can agree with that. I can only tell you that i am so sorry, that i gave in to temptation so quickly. I can't promise that it won't happen again.
Can we make an exception only concerning Edward? Just in case he comes back in the next years. There is only a tiny possibility.
Maybe there is a nice guy from your past you would like to see again? Next Halloween if one of the pretty boys from your grand tour appears at Woodstone manson, i could give you carte blanche. I wouldn't say a word, provided that he is gone after a few days.
Nigel: I will think about this most generous offer. It is highly unlikely that either of us will meet a former lover ever again.
I could give you carte blanche for your future love affair with Jonathan Bailey, which is so stupid, because it will never happen.
And i wouldn't know which one of the pretty boys to choose, there where so many nice guys on my grand tour.
Isaac: Yes, you told me often enough about it, spare me the details.
Nigel: You started it.