Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was another typical day in the Pride ring of Hell. Fresh souls of Sinners rained down from the sky, while those already there, along with the Hellborn demons, scurried about through their filthy overcrowded cities going about their afterlives. Bullets flew through the air, shouts and explosions sounded out from everywhere, and overall it was a violent cesspit of misery and destruction.

In Imp City in particular, things were going about as they normally did. Which in the office of Immediate Murder Professionals meant that they were sitting around waiting for work to come to them while dealing with their personal issues. Which, lately, were pretty bad.

"We. Are. So. Financially. Fucked!" a white-haired imp groaned, bashing his head against the surface of his desk between each word, surrounded by the paperwork he'd been going through.

"Dramatic much, fatty?" a goth hellhound asked dryly from her own desk, feet up on it while she looked through her phone.

"This is serious, Loona!" he snapped, looking at her with a scowl while waving around some of his paperwork, "Do you have any idea how much of our money Blitzø is burning through?!"

"Considering I'm the one who has to burn all those owl effigies he keeps buying by the shit ton because he's too immature to actually deal with his breakup with Stolas, yeah I kinda get the idea," Loona replied flatly.

 Moxxie grimaced at that name, his employer and "friend's" former benefactor and lover... Blitzø's relationship with the Goetia prince had always been complicated, despite his claims of it only being sex, but he'd never thought it would have led to this trainwreck!

"Grrr, we still have access to Earth thanks to the Asmodean Crystal, and he no longer has to be Stolas' on demand booty call!" The imp tightly clenched some of the paperwork in his hands, "It's the best outcome! He did nothing but complain about Stolas..."

Moxxie breathed heavier, his eyes twitching, "So why is he trying to fucking screw us over like this!"

"Because he's got the emotional maturity of a fucking baby!" Loona moaned in exasperation, "Obviously, he actually liked Stolas, he just didn't know how to process that, and now he's completely fucked himself up over it!"

"Ugh, this is some Hella Novella bullshit," Moxxie groaned, rubbing his forehead to ward off a headache.

It was at this point that the door to the office opened up, and Millie walked in carrying coffees, pausing as she saw the others.

"Everything alright?" she asked as she shut the door, while looking around with a frown, "The office looks like a trainwreck, Moxxie didn't come home last night, and Loona..." she paused, seeing Loona's face, her eyes at first closed opening to show the tired red and cracks, "You ain't looking so hot." She added as Loona gave a groaning growl, rubbing her eyes.

"Blitzø bought two hundred taxidermy owls," the hellhound said, stepping forward, grabbing the coffee from Millie's hands, "And said I couldn't go home till I burned... all of them," she said with groan, before throwing her head back downing all the coffee in one go.

"You mean you've been here all night?" Millie asked, just as the door behind her was knocked on, causing her to open it with a blink, seeing the form of an imp she recognized as Wally Wackford standing in front of a large package.

"I've got an order for another hundred wacky owls!" He said with a smile, holding out a clipboard. While Loona's eyes widened before letting out a cry of despair, "FUCK!"

"Hey, I haven't seen you guys in a while, heh!" Wally said as Loona reluctantly signed on his clipboard to accept the delivery, "Do you, like, wanna hang out some-"

SLAM

He was cut off by Millie slamming the door in his face, but could still be heard muttering afterwards, "Okay! That answers that, I say, I say."

"Is Blitzø seriously still sulking about this? It's been a month already!" Millie moaned.

"Yeah, and he's driving us right into ruin!" Moxxie groaned, "We're gonna default into a total financial apocalypse!"

 "Oh come on hun, it can't be that bad," Millie said, only to get a flat look in response.

 "Millie, we are so far in the red, I might as well be writing with blood instead of ink," he said, "At the rate this is going, our great-grandchildren are going to be born in debt, and that is not hyperbole!"

 He grabbed Millie by her shoulders and started to shake her, "The numbers, Millie! Over and over, I've tried to make them add up, but I can't!" He pressed his face against Millie's, his eyes wide and unhinged as he wailed, "We're fucked! He's even drained our pension to buy plates with horse pictures on them!"

"He what?!" Millie exclaimed in disbelief, before scowling, "Okay, that tears it. I'm talking some sense into him... or smacking it into him, if need be."

"Good luck," Loona scoffed, gesturing to the door to Blitzø's office, which was chained up with a sign that said "Do Not Enter".

"He's been holed up in his office for days, doesn't let anyone in unless..." Loona suddenly paused as a voice called out from inside Blitzø's office.

"Loona, I need my piss bucket now!' Causing the hellhound to give a disgusted expression and shiver.

"Ugh, see what I mean?" she moaned. Taking this in, Millie sighed and shook her head, before stomping over to the door.

Meanwhile, inside the office, Blitzø was lying on a pile of blankets and large pillows, stuffing himself with processed cheese spread and a box of ice cream while watching a TV, which was playing a show called Ghostfuckers.

"Oh, ooh, okay. I am getting a real sexy energy from this room! Oh, there is definitely a fuckable spirit here," said the show's host, a blonde woman in a big hat named Bethany Ghostfucker.

"Yeah, get that spooky ghoul cock, bitch," Blitzø said, watching the screen halfheartedly.

"Blitzø..." Before turning to look towards the office door.

"Go away! Can't you read the chains?" He called out to Millie, who frowned on her end of the door.

"I'm coming in!" She hollered, with Blitzø scoffing.

"Good luck getting..." He trailed off as Millie casually opened the door, causing the imp to realize he might have chained it from the wrong side.

"Blitzø, you mind explaining what you're doing?" Millie questioned, stomping over to the TV, turning it off before giving him a look that was a mixture of concerned and stern, "You've been in here watching this Earth trash for what seems like forever."

She said as Blitzø shot her a glare from where he was lying.

"I'm coping!" He snapped defensively as Millie grimaced, as this was anything but coping.

"Yeah, well... you've coped away every dollar we have," she said, while walking over and leaning against his bean bag chair with a frown.

"Those plates are collectibles, Millie," Blitzø started to explain, while distractedly messing with the spoon in his hand, "I'm going to sell them next year for three times as much, so I have something to show for it when the things I care about vanish."

He said with a frown, bending the top of the spoon before letting go as he sent it flying forward to embed itself into a cardboard box.

"Mmkay," Millie said, unimpressed, "You know, my mama always said, the best way to deal with being sad... is the sweat and blood of hard work. Washes the tears right off!"

"I don't need any of your "folksy-doksy" fucking country wisdom, Millie," Blitzø said, ignoring her to look towards the TV, "I need to watch the Ghostfuckers get dicked down by a disembodied spirit and eat my feelings til I die from a heart attack or diabetes, whichever pops my heart open first."

"I don't get it, Blitzø. All this over a breakup?" Millie asked incredulously.

"IT WAS NOT A BREAKUP!" Blitzø snapped, "You need a relationship for one of those, and we never had that. And we never will."

At the pain in his voice, Millie gave him a concerned look, but before she could say anything the desk intercom went off.

"Urgg, what?!" Blitzø demanded as he reached up behind him to hear Loona's voice.

"We've got a client," she said, her voice sounding strained and annoyed while Blitzø scowl.

"Tell them to fuck off!" Blitzø snapped, only for Millie to blurt out, "No!"

She stepped forward, speaking through the intercom, "I'll be right there."

With one more sympathetic look at Blitzø, she stepped out of his office and back into the main room, where she found the apparent client. The Sinner was an old woman wearing a frumpy dress and a pearl necklace, with long gray hair pulled back in a ponytail, and a look of extreme annoyance on her face.

"Well, it's about time! I've been waiting forever!" she grumbled.

"Ma'am, you've been here two minutes," Moxxie pointed out.

"You shut up!" the woman snapped, before turning back to Millie, "Are you the one in charge of this dump?"

Oh joy... a difficult client on top of everything else, Millie thought, holding back a groan as she gave a strained smile.

"Our CEO is currently, um..." she glanced over her shoulder towards Blitzø's office before latching onto the first excuse she could think of, "busy with paperwork," she shot the Sinner a strained grin, "But I'll be happy to handle your business, miss...?"

She trailed off while examining the client, noting how she appeared more human than most Sinners. The only real difference from how she must have looked on Earth was that her skin was now a sickly yellow.

"Rose Freeling," the woman huffed, "Now then, I understand I can hire you freaks go up to Earth to kill people as payback?"

Millie forced the smile to stay in place at the casual insult, and nodded in agreement.

"That's right, Ms. Freeling, that's our business. So, who do you need killed?" Millie asked.

"Well, one of the ungrateful assholes is already dead, but once you kill my niece, I need you to make sure her and my wannabe Casper of a nephew end up down here in this hellhole instead of getting to haunt that dump of theirs rent free."

"Um, what?" Millie asked, blinking in confusion.

"Did I stammer? I want you to kill my ungrateful niece so that after she's done being a ghost, she ends up down here!" Rose snapped.

"Ma'am, not to argue, but there's no such thing as ghosts," Moxxie stated, "When humans die, they either go to Heaven or come down here."

"Ha! Shows what you know. I was a ghost for a good minute till I found myself in this pit," Rose scoffed, voice oozing contempt, "Just when I was enjoying finally seeing that delicious expression of defeat on those two fuckers' faces, they pull some dirty trick, sending me to Hell!"

She snapped, expression filled with contempt and anger, "And after having the gall of trying to stop me from dying on that property so I could become a ghost like all the other assholes in that failing hotel."

"Come again?" Loona asked, she and the two married imps all looking equally confused.

"Yeah, the hotel my idiot nephew was running is full of ghosts," Rose explained, "Apparently anyone who dies on the property is stuck there forever, including him. I tried to make it so I'd die there too so I could have a nice comfortable afterlife, but those two little ingrates had to go and ruin that, so now I want them to pay!"

The hellhound and Imps exchanged looks, before Millie spoke up with a strained smile.

"Uhh, ma'am, by any chance were you on any sort of medication before you died?" she asked, causing Rose to send her an insulted glare.

"What the fuck kinda question is that?!" she demanded angrily.

"The kinda question where we try to find out if our client was hallucinating before she dropped dead," Loona scoffed with annoyed look, not in the mood for any of this bullshit after an entire night of no sleep, "Because news flash, ghosts ain't real!"

"They are too, and if you go to that shitty hotel, you'll see it for yourself!" Rose growled, before shaking her head, "But okay, you don't want to believe me? Fine, you don't need to. Just go to the hotel and kill my niece, and you can deal with an existential crisis when you see that I'm right about the ghosts!"

WHAM

Everyone jumped as Blitzø's door slammed open, revealing the imp in question, grinning excitedly.

"Did someone say ghosts?" he asked, "Okay, what spook needs a good dicking?!"

His coworkers all facepalmed at that, while Rose just arched an eyebrow.

"Sir, are you seriously believing this just because of your obsession with that stupid show?" Moxxie asked flatly.

"Shut up and go get pegged by your wife again, Mox!" Blitzø snapped at his employee before turning to Rose, "Ma'am, we'll take the job! Your niece will be dead and all those ghosts fucked before you know it!"

 "Good, glad to see someone around here knows how to treat their customer," Rose scoffed, before glaring at the members of I.M.P, "But remember, I want them down here in hell!" She said, jabbing her finger at Blitzø's chest with a sneer of contempt, "If they're dead but haunting that dump, then you can forget about me paying a single dime!"

 "You know we don't control if they end up in Hell, right?" Loona chimed in, choosing to not rehash the ghost subject again, and just let the old bag have her delusions, "Are you going to blame us if they end up in Heaven?"

"Ha! Like those two pathetic wastes of time would get up there!" Rose sneered, "Considering they couldn't even wait on me hand and foot like they were supposed to, they're obviously too fucking lazy to be worthy of that!"

"Wow, how unreasonable of them," Millie said flatly.

"Well, don't worry lady, pretty much everyone we've ever killed has ended up down here, so that shouldn't be a problem," Blitzø said, before holding up his Asmodean crystal and giving it a good lick to charge it, "So, I'll just head up there and start killing, then fuck some sexy ghosts, no problem!"

"Sir, I insist we go with you," Moxxie interjected, "Considering we REALLY need some income, we can't afford to let you fuck anything up, so we're going to make sure you don't waste time looking for sex with nonexistent ghosts!"

 "What?! Okay, first of all, ghosts are so existent," Blitzø huffed, crossing his arms, "Second of all, I hardly need you all to hold my hand; I'm a trained assassin, I'm the one who started this business," he gave Moxxie an annoyed glare, "I could handle this job solo, if I wanted to!"

 "Then us coming along should just get the job done even faster, right?" Millie butted in, trying to play peacemaker before a fight broke out in front of the client.

"Ugh, fine, whatever," Blitzø scoffed, before turning to Rose, "So where we heading?"

"The Undervale Hotel in Upstate New York. Believe me, you can't miss the dump. Oh, and as for my niece's brats, if you see them..." Rose frowned, before giving a shrug, "Honestly, couldn't give a damn, so feel free to kill those kids or don't, your choice," she gave a snort full of derision, "Not like they've got much of a future either way."

"Eh, we'll see how it plays out, we don't charge for kids anyway," Blitzø said with a shrug, before opening a portal with the crystal, "Okay fam, let's go! We got people to kill and ghosts to fuck!"

"Ugh, this is going to be a long night," Loona grumbled as she and the others followed Blitzø into the portal.

 "When you see them, make sure to let them know Aunt Rose sends her hate and will see them in Hell!" Rose called out before the portal closed, "Those morons better not screw this up," she muttered darkly, before looking around with a curious look, "Wonder if they got a kitchen around here, could use a decent meal that doesn't taste like demon crap."

 With that, she set off to find a snack, while eagerly waiting for word of her family being viciously murdered.

 (Undervale Hotel)

"Well, another night with barely any customers," a woman said, sitting at a front desk with a sigh, "Doesn't help the last ones got scared off by a gangster reenacting his death scene."

 Seriously, of all the times for Fat Tony to have one of his death cycles, why did it have to be in the middle of checking in the first guests they'd had all week?! They might as well have had Jessica pop out of a vent and attack them!

 "Who ever said a haunted hotel is a tourist dream was a complete moron," Katherine Feeling muttered with a tired sigh.

 Sure, on the surface it sounded like the type of gimmick that people liked these days. But then they actually met the ghosts, who while harmless could still be scary, and then they were running out the door! And that didn't even touch on the various monsters and cursed artifacts that seemed to fill every nook and cranny of the building itself and its surroundings. Not to mention whatever the resident demon tended to get up to.

Speaking of which...

"Abaddon, are you in the vents again?" Katherine asked with a groan, glancing up to the air vent on the wall above her that she could hear something scuttling around in.

"Yes, why would I not be?" the demon in question asked in response, popping his head out of the vent, "It is by far the most efficient way of getting around the building and stalking prey."

"I don't even want to know who or what you're considering prey," Katherine said, eyes narrowing, "All I know is, I expect you to clean yourself off when you're done in there. I don't want you tracking dust all over the place."

"Bah, you're far too obsessed with dust and grime and washing with soap," Abaddon scoffed, "In Hell, I bathed in brimstone and acid! That was true cleanliness!"

"Sounds real relaxing," Katherine said, rolling her eyes, "But I'll stick with showers and candlelit bubble baths."

"Hmph, suit yourself," Abaddon replied with a shrug, before ducking back into the vent and scurrying away, leaving Katherine alone for a few minutes before being joined by her brother.

"Hey Kathy!" Nathan Freeling said as he walked through the wall, "How's the night shift going?"

In response, Katherine gave her brother a flat look and gestured around the empty foyer and the cubby wall full of room keys, all of which were present and not in use.

"Huh, slow night," Nathan said with a low hum, rubbing his chin while looking at the keys.

"Just like it was the night before, and the night before that," Katherine said with a sigh, "Honestly, it's a good thing that there's no mortgage to pay on the hotel, or we'd probably be having to worry about foreclosure at this point."

"Aw, come on, Katherine, it's not that bad," Nathan said with a shrug, "I had rough patches like this all the time when I was running the place, and they never lasted too long. Why, I betcha guests will be coming in to stay the night any minute."

 As Nathan said that, he looked happily to the front doors, fully expecting them to open and let guests step inside.

...

...

...

"Wishful thinking doesn't actually do anything," Katherine said flatly after several minutes.

"Doesn't hurt!" Nathan replied, good mood only slightly dimmed by the lack of an immediate check-in.

 Though as the two siblings, one living, one dead, conversed inside, new guests were actually looking at the hotel from outside.

"Man, would you look at this place," Blitzø let out a low whistle while wearing an eager grin, "If this place don't have at least one ghost to fuck, then I'm a dead fish in bed."

Behind him, the others all groaned.

"If he doesn't stop talking about fucking ghosts, I'm going to tear my damn ears off," Loona grumbled to Millie, who just patted her on the leg comfortingly.

"Sir, if we can please stop talking about so-called ghosts for a moment, what exactly is the plan here?" Moxxie asked, desperate to get things back on track.

"Simple, we're ghost hunters. We heard this place was filled with ghosts, and we came here to fuck them for our show," Blitzø said as if it was obvious, while holding a video camera that he tossed towards Moxxie.

"Of course we did," Moxxie sighed as he caught the camera, while Blitzø pulled out a blonde wig and put it on.

"So until the blood and cum start flying, just call me Bethany Ghostfucker!" he declared.

"A little on the nose, don't you think?" Loona scoffed, rolling her eyes and putting her hands on her hips, "And what exactly are you going to do if you find these imaginary ghosts? Scare them with a vacuum?"

"Don't poke holes in Daddy's thinking when he's trying to get laid, sweetie," Blitzø waved his daughter's questions off, "Now, everyone get their disguises on, and let's get to work/fun!"

Choosing not to argue with him anymore, Loona conjured her magical human disguise, while Moxxie and Millie put on baseball caps that Blitzø handed them marked "Ghostfuckers!"

"We really need to get you idiots some real human disguises," Loona sighed, shaking her head at seeing this.

"Please, our disguise skills are top of the line," Blitzø said, adjusting his wig, "Besides, with how stupid humans are, you could probably walk around as is and just tell people you're a furry."

 Loona gave her father a flat look, clearly not amused by that comment. But before she could snap anything back at him for it, he took off towards the hotel, the others quickly scrambling to chase after him.

"Okay, fam, let's do this!" he shouted over his shoulder at them as he reached the front door and knocked on it. Inside, Katherine and Nathan both jerked to attention at the sound.

"Hey, I was right!" Nathan said excitedly, while Katherine immediately went into panic mode.

"Holy shit!" she exclaimed, grabbing a walkie-talkie and yelling into it, "Ben! Esther! Code red, I repeat, code red! We actually have customers! Find a supernatural-free room for them right now!"

 "On it Mom, you can count on us," her son's voice said over the walkie-talkie.

"Avoid room 13! I was, um... doing a little redecorating," her daughter's voice added with a cough, "Or at least, that's the story I'm going with."

 "Right, pinning that for a long conversation later," Katherine said, frowning at the walkie-talkie and making a mental note to talk to her daughter later, "In the meantime, just make sure that Abaddon and the ghosts leave the guests alone... at least until they've paid for the night."

 Honestly, at this point she'd half accepted guests finding out they were haunted, but that wouldn't keep her from making a profit.

"Relax Mom, we've got it handled... though might take a while to find Abaddon, he really gets around in those vents," Esther replied as Katherine sighed.

"Just do what you can, I don't want these guests freak out because of ghosts or... demons," she trailed off as she got a good look at the group approaching the front desk, and all she could say was, "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

She muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose. Because while the tall goth girl with a look of annoyance bringing up the rear looked like a normal human, the other three figures clearly weren't. They were short, with horns, tails, and skins of varying shades of bright red, and the only effort any of them were putting towards pretending to be human were some hats and the bad wig that the one in the lead were wearing.

"Hello there!" the lead demon creature said with the forced falsetto of a man pretending to be a woman, "I'm Bethany Ghostfucker! Maybe you've seen my hit show, Ghostfuckers? We're here to investigate your hotel for ghosts, and fuck them!"

"Uhh, fuck ghosts?!" Nathan repeated beside her, giving a cough, his eyes widening, "Well, um, that's a new one, but um, if this hotel had any ghosts, which it doesn't, I'm um, not sure they'd..."

Katherine sighed as her brother floundered at the demon's blunt statement.

"Nathan, they're not here to fuck ghosts," she said flatly, giving the group an annoyed look.

"What?! Of course we are!" Blitzø exclaimed with a laugh, "Why else would we come to a hotel that screams haunted," he added with an eager gleam in his eyes.

"Well, judging by the last demon that showed up, probably to trash my property and terrorize my family," Before his eyes along with his fellow imps' widened as Loona facepalmed, "That, or you four are here to pick up Abaddon."

 "Ah, who, huh? What demons, we're not demons!" Blitzø said quickly with a nervous laugh, "Why would you think that?!"

"Because you're bright red and have horns," Katherine pointed out flatly.

"See? This is why I've been telling you idiots that you need to get real disguises!" Loona snapped at the others, while dropping her own disguise as well, since there wasn't exactly a point of trying to pass for human when it wasn't fooling anyone.

"Great, now there's a werewolf too," Katherine grumbled, eyeing Loona.

"Hellhound, not werewolf," she clarified. Before giving a confused scowl, "And if you know we're demons, why the fuck aren't you freaking out?" She questioned as Katherine gave her a flat look.

"I live in a haunted hotel filled with ghosts ranging from annoying and aggravating to freaky and psychotic," she crossed her arms, giving a stern glare right into Loona's eyes, not noticing the floor vent slightly opening behind the group of demons, "Not to mention fun little things like the bloodthirsty Mothman at war with the hotel's own resident demon," a purple tentacle began to raise from the vent, "Or the fact that the floor vents are home to..."

Suddenly it lashed out, wrapping around Moxxie, whose eyes widen before letting out a startled scream as he was lifted up and banged against the floor repeated.

"Jessica..." Katherine sighed, facepalming as the members of I.M.P. all turned with wide eyes.

"Oh, holy fuck! That's what i'm talking about!" Blitzø called out in an excited cheer, smiling widely, "Some raunchy Japanese porno shit! You better be getting this all on camera Mox!"

 "I'm!" SMACK "A little!" SMACK "Busy, sir!" Moxxie yelled as he was slammed back and forth between the floor and walls.

"Hey! Let go of my husband, bitch!" Millie yelled, pulling a huge knife out of nowhere and launching herself at Jessica, clinging to the tentacle and beginning to hack at it, which didn't seem to actually have any kind of effect.

 Though as this was happening, the other members of I.M.P were watching, one part stunned another part excited, at least in Blitzø's case.

"What the fuck is happening?!" Loona found herself saying while watching the scene with wide eyes, while Blitzø was practically shaking with excitement beside her.

"Um, yeah... sorry about that," Before turning to look at the man behind the front desk, rubbing his neck with a sheepish smile, "Jessica gets, um... excited around new people," he said with an earnest grin, "But she's really quite friendly."

He added as Moxxie was suddenly slammed into the wall behind him.

SMACK

 "Urg... if this is friendly... I'd hate to see how she greets people she hates," Moxxie groaned woozily. Before going stiff in the tentacle's grip when he realized... the tentacle was going straight through the man, who didn't appear harmed at all, which didn't make sense! Because it wasn't just the tentacle going through the man, but also...

"What the hell?!" Millie muttered, her tone stone stunned, because her knife in her efforts to stab this freaky tentacle had hit the man... only to go straight through along with her arm! But not in the normal blood, guts, and gore way she was used to! Like, just... straight through, like nothing was there... and she didn't feel a damn thing outside a weird chill.

"Oops, sorry about that," Nathan said with an apologetic nervous smile, despite the tentacle, arm, and knife stabbed through him as he stepped to the side just as Jessica retracted her tentacle to slam Moxxie into another wall.

SMACK

"AH!"

And then the floor.

SMACK

"Urg!"

Followed by the ceiling.

"ARG!"

"Jessica no! That's not how we greet our guests!" Nathan protested, casually walking through the front desk while addressing the tentacle with his best stern tone.

 "Seriously, what the fuck?!" Loona exclaimed, watching the man walk through solid wood like it was nothing.

"Ha! I knew it! See, ghosts are real!" Blitzø crowed, rubbing his hands together excitedly as he eyed Nathan hungrily, "Okay hot stuff, bend on over and let's get dicking!"

"What?" Katherine asked in disbelief as Nathan blinked and looked to Blitzø in confusion.

"Um... thank you?" Nathan said awkwardly, "But, um... well, you do realize that I'm a ghost, right?"

"Exactly!" Blitzø said with a smirk.

"Yeah, which means that I'm intangible," Nathan pointed out, "So, you know, even if I wanted to, I literally can't have sex."

"...Say what?" Blitzø asked, smile freezing on his face as he heard that.

"Yeah, see?" Nathan stepped up and casually waved his arm through Blitzø, "Can't touch a darn thing, no matter how hard you try," he said with a chuckle, before giving a thoughtful frown, "Well, I suppose technically I can touch the floor... but anything else is a no-go."

He admitted, rubbing his chin, "I know it's weird, but eh... that's ghost rules for you," he added with a shrug while Blitzø's eyes twitched.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" he yelled, "I finally have a chance at my lifelong dream of fucking a ghost-"

"Did you even want to do that before you started watching that stupid show?" Loona asked, only to be ignored.

"-and it turns out that it's not even possible?!" Blitzø finished, tossing his wig off in frustration, "Fuck! Why did I even come here?!"

WHAM

Moxxie slammed into the wall next to Blitzø as Jessica finally let him go and tossed him aside. As he slid down to the floor and Millie ran over to him, he raised a finger shakily in his boss's direction.

"Sir, that wasn't the main reason we came here..." he pointed out woozily, making Blitzø blink.

"Oh, right. Shit, let's get this over with," he sighed, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a pistol that he aimed at Katherine, whose eyes widened in shock, "Your Aunt Rose says she'll see you in Hell, blah, blah, blah, just die already."

He said with a large frown, sighing tiredly, honestly just not in the spirit of it; he couldn't even enjoy what he did best anymore! Urg, he should have stayed back at the office and watched Ghostfuckers... which turned out to be complete bullshit!

Katherine, however, was more focused on her survival, while her mind barely processed what the demon said. Aunt Rose, she...

"Oh, that fucking old bitch!" she swore out loud angrily.

"Wow, Mom's actually cursing, what the heck did we miss?"

Everyone in the lobby blinked and turned towards the stairs, where Ben and Esther were standing and looking down at the scene before them in extreme confusion.

"Well, apparently these demons were sent by Aunt Rose to kill us," Nathan explained, gesturing to the I.M.P. members, "And let me just say that it doesn't surprise me at all that that old hag not only ended up in Hell but would do something like this!"

"Yeah, she wasn't exactly all that likable, even by Sinner standards," Millie commented as she helped Moxxie stand up, while glancing at the kids, "Um, Blitzø? Did we decide what to do with the kids?"

"Well, the old bitch said that she was fine with either option," Blitzø said with a shrug, "And it's not like we charge extra for kids anyway."

 Nathan and Katherine's eyes widened, with anger forming particularly on the latter, but before either could speak up one of the imps made a sound of protest.

"Sir, no," Moxxie protested weakly, rubbing his head as Blitzø shot him an annoyed look, "If the client said she only wanted her niece dead, then there's no point in killing the children," he said weakly stumbling forward, only to lose his balance, causing him to stumble and hit the floor, "Urg... besides... we... might have a problem."

"Urg, for fuck's sake, what's the problem now?!" Blitzø demanded with a groaning glare toward Moxxie as Millie stepped up and gently rubbed her husband's back, "Because the only reason I took this job was because I thought I'd get to fuck some ghosts only to find out that television lied to me!"

He ranted as he started to pace around the room, "But hey, isn't that the fucking story of my life?" He said with a slight unhinged laugh, "Getting lied to or used till you're thrown to the side like a used fucking condom!"

 There was a long moment of awkward silence following that statement as Blitzø panted, his employees looking at him in concern, while the humans were just confused.

"I don't think that was about trying to kill us," Ben whispered to his sister.

"No shit," Esther muttered, while Moxxie got up and composed himself.

"Sir, the problem is, the client said that she wanted them to not just die but end up in Hell with her," he pointed out, "But since ghosts are, apparently, actually real, then that means that she'll just be stuck here instead when she dies. And how are we supposed to get the man down there too when he's already a ghost?"

"That's..." Millie paused, raising her finger before frowning, "Actually a good point," she admitted with a concerned look, "When it comes to killing, no problem... but how the hell am I suppose to kill something that I can't touch... or is already dead?"

 "Greattttt... so basically, can't even enjoy being right about ghosts because of this bullcrap," Blitzø groaned, rubbing his eyes.

"So... maybe you can just leave?" Katherine offered with a forced smile and wide eyes, desperately trying to defuse the situation before it could get any worse.

"Ha! Fat chance, bitch!" Blitzø scoffed, "I'm an asshole, but I'm still a fucking professional... most of the time... and that means that I don't leave contracts unfinished. So, we're not going anywhere until we figure out how to kill your ass and send you and your brother downstairs!"

The humans all exchanged nervous looks at that, but before they could react, an air vent popped open and Abaddon fell to the floor.

"There may or may not be a dead colony of rats in the vents now," he commented casually, before looking up and seeing the members of I.M.P., who were staring at him in confusion, cocking his head at the sight, "Why are there a bunch of imps and a hellhound here?"

"Oh for the sake of Satan, who's this fucker? And how the fuck does this one recognize us on sight!?" Blitzø growled in annoyance, just wanting to end this night and go back to drowning his sorrows in processed cheese and ice cream.

"Maybe if your so-called disguises weren't shit, we wouldn't be dealing with this crap," Loona pointed out dryly, sending him an annoyed glare, before pausing, "Hang on..."

She sniffed at the air, before giving a frown. The scent... that wasn't a normal human scent. It smelled almost...

"Wait..." Abaddon spoke up, his eyes widening before a slow wide smile spread across his face, "Can it be... has my salvation finally come?!"

He exclaimed, actually giving a laugh, much to the Freelings' shock, "Oh joyous day! After endless days, no longer shall I be bound to the mortal plane, but return home to once more revel in Hell's warm embrace!"

Abaddon called out, stepping up before pausing, "Admittedly, I'd rather Lord Satan sent more than just several imps and a hellhound, but beggars can't be choosers as the mortals say."

 "What?" Blitzø asked, blinking in confusion at Abaddon's words.

"Blitzø, I think this guy's a demon," Loona spoke up, making Abaddon scoff.

"Obviously I am, mutt, don't you recognize your superiors when you see them?" he sneered.

"Hey! Don't talk to my daughter like that, asshole!" Blitzø snapped, making Loona roll her eyes at his protectiveness, "And we're not here to rescue anyone, we're here to kill people for money! Why would we even care about a brat like you?"

"Brat?!" Abaddon yelled, scowling angrily, "I am no brat, you fool! I am Abaddon!"

"...Who?" Blitzø asked, looking to his companions in further confusion, who all just shrugged, which made Abaddon's eye twitch.

"Abaddon. The Cobra King. The Lord of Locusts. The Prince of Pain!" he quickly listed off titles, growing more frustrated as each was met with the same blank expressions, "I was one of Satan's chief lieutenants for centuries!"

"Really? Cause I grew up in the Wrath ring, and I ain't never heard of you," Millie pointed out, causing Abaddon to growl.

 "Also, there a reason you decided to disguise yourself as some Amish kid?" Loona added, arching a brow, causing Abaddon to give her a glare.

"If you must know, this isn't a disguise, this is the mortal form I'm bound to thanks to a cursed priest," he snapped, "He used his filthy holy magic to bind me to the child I was possessing, and I have been trapped in this weakened form ever since, unable to do anything but simply coexist with the weak and pathetic beings of this plane!"

"Gee dude, really feeling the love," Esther commented dryly from where she and Ben were still standing atop the stairs.

 "Nothing personal, as mortals go you all are perhaps the most tolerable I've ever interacted with," Abaddon said with a shrug.

"Aw, you know there's no need to be shy, bud," Nathan spoke up with a smile, "We're all family here."

 "Yeah, okay, that's nice," Blitzø cut in impatiently, "But enough about the weirdo kid demon with a big ego! We still need to figure out how to kill you people in a way that sends you to Hell so that I can get paid!"

"And we'd help you figure that out, why exactly?" Katherine asked, not even sure if she was still supposed to be scared at this point.

 "Yeah, kinda counterproductive, especially since none of us are in a hurry to see Aunt Rose again anytime soon," Nathan added with a nod.

"Plus, as demons go, you guys ain't exactly intimidating," Esther added, arching a brow as the demons shot the kid offended looks, "I mean, you've got to use guns like human thugs, lame. That Mortoth guy was a LOT scarier," she said as Millie and Moxxie's eyes widen in recognition at that name, while Loona and Blitzø just looked annoyed or plain insulted.

"Of course he was," Abaddon said flatly with a frown, "Mortoth, like myself, is a high-ranking demon of Hell," he gestured toward their demoniac guests, "Whereas imps and hellhounds are at the bottom of Hell's hierarchy, serving as slaves towards their superiors."

He explained in a slight matter-of-fact tone, as if he was simply stating a fact, while ignoring the glares shot his way.

"Wait... if they're bottom of the barrel, then how are they here on Earth?" Ben questioned with a blink, "I mean I always figured not just any demon could come to Earth unless summoned by some crazy like that exorcist."

 "Ha! Shows what you bitches know!" Blitzø scoffed, holding up his crystal, "Asmodean crystal! Lets anyone who has one and charges it with an occasional blowjob open up a portal between Hell and Earth, so we can come and go whenever we want!"

As the humans all stared incredulously at the imp's description of how the crystal worked, Abaddon arched an eyebrow.

"I thought Lord Asmodeus only gave those out to his succubi and inccubi. How did you get one?" he asked, immediately making Blitzø deflate.

"Ah, well... you know, I know a guy," he muttered awkwardly.

"He used to fuck a Goetia who let him use his grimoire, and then took it back and gave him that crystal instead before dumping him," Loona explained flatly.

"For the millionth time, Stolas didn't dump me, because we were never dating!" Blitzø snapped at his daughter.

"Really now?" Before shooting a glare at the creepy fuck wearing a little boy as a skin suit; if that didn't scream red flag and keep away from schools, Blitzø didn't know what did.

"How interesting," Abaddon said with a low mutter, rubbing his chin, "Hell must have change more than I realized," he said, giving the group a soul-boring stare, "Since before I left, not only would a Goetia allowing the use of his personal grimoire be against a number of laws, but you all would have been slowly tortured to death publicly to be made an example of for the crime of so much as touching a Goetia's grimoire."

All the members of I.M.P. flinched at that, but Blitzø quickly composed himself and worked to deflect that comment.

"Yeah, well, obviously you're a bit out of touch, geezer," he sneered, "A lot's changed, like the fact that imps can be their own bosses now. So, you can kiss my sweet ass, you bigoted motherfucker! And if you don't mind, I'd like to focus on the job without anymore..."

Blitzø was cut off by a new voice, "Benny!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake! What now?!" he groaned as he dragged his hand down his face as a new form phased through a wall into the hotel lobby.

"Where are you? You're late to our movie date and... is that camera?" The figure of a teenage girl dressed like a 1920s flapper asked as she spotted the camera that Moxxie had dropped when attacked by Jessica, "Oh my, did another TV show come by? Do I have another chance at being a star?!"

"Um, actually, Annabelle? These guys are demons who are here to kill Mom, so I doubt that camera even actually works," Ben awkwardly said to his girlfriend.

"No, it works," Blitzø grumbled, scowling, "I wanted to film me fucking some ghosts, but apparently that's just not possible," he said, before adding with a bitter mutter, "Got my hopes up only to have them crushed and shit on... story of my fucking life."

Prompting more looks, with even Nathan starting to look concerned about him, along with the other demons minus Abaddon.

"Excuse me! But fuck?!" The new arrival Annabelle, however, just looked scandalized, "I want to be a star, but I'm not some talentless hack spreading her legs for pornography because she can't act in real films."

She said, huffing with crossed arms, "And I don't know who you are, sir, but the spirits of this hotel have more class than to allow themselves used in such depraved insult to true cinema. At most, I'd only consider participating in a lovemaking scene if my partner in the scene was Ben, and that's only if the rest of the film had a top quality award-winning script."

Ben turned bright red at that, while Esther laughed at his expense.

"Ah, uh, that's nice," he stammered, "But I don't think these guys actually care about making a movie, so-"

"Hey, wait a minute, hang on!" Blitzø snapped, as his brain caught up with the conversation, "So are you saying that it actually IS possible to fuck a ghost?! I fucking knew it!"

"Er, well, it's not actually sex, it's more like I'm a spiritual conduit that she's able to pass through..." Ben tried to explain.

"Close enough! Show me how to do it!" Blitzø demanded, making his team all roll their eyes.

"Ugh, I should have stayed at the office. Dealing with the old bitch would have been less of a headache than this," Loona muttered.

"Ha!" At that, Nathan let out a loud laugh, "Oh, you poor innocent creature you," he said, actually chuckling while wiping a ghost tear from his eye, "Believe me, that woman can make Hell look like Heaven. Heck, if she isn't riffling through and judging your possessions by now, I'd be surprised."

He stated, recalling years of dealing with his aunt's criticizing and noisiness.

(Back in Hell)

SMASH

"Honestly, who the fuck collects glass horses?! I know this is Hell, but that's no excuse for tacky terrible taste," Rose muttered to herself as she went through Blitzø's office's contents and casually tossed everything over her shoulders. She'd already ransacked the office kitchenette for anything edible, and out of boredom had decided to go through the rest of the space.

"Ugh, and what is taking those idiots so long, anyway?" she muttered, "I probably could have figured out how to possess people and gotten the job done myself by now! They better offer me a discount for making me wait! I mean, how incompetent do you have to be to take this long to kill someone as fat and lazy as Katherine. And Nathan's more spineless than Casper, so what are they doing up there, taking that bitch mutt of theirs for walkies?"

She added, causally tossing a ceramic horse over her shoulder.

SHATTER

 (Back on Earth)

"I don't know why... buy I'm suddenly filled with a strange murderous urge," Blitzø said calmly while his eye twitched, "And I don't mean my usual kill boner either."

Before shaking his head and glaring at Ben, "And speaking of my boners, let's get back to you telling me the trick to fucking ghosts like you can!"

"Dude, I literally have no idea how it works, I'm just glad that it does!" Ben protested.

"And our love life is none of your business, you little creep!" Annabelle added with a scowl.

"This is not going how I expected another encounter with demons to go," Esther commented as she descended the stairs to join the rest of her family.

"Well, at least they're not trying to kill me at the moment, so I'll take the distraction," Katherine replied. She wasn't happy about the topic of said distraction herself, but it was better than the alternative.

Speaking of, she knew that Aunt Rose was a bitter old bitch, but seriously?! Sending demonic hitmen after her?! What the fuck?!

"After all those years of putting up with her and trying to make her comfortable, she pulls this," she muttered, shaking her head, before raising her voice and asking, "Did she at least say why she wanted you to kill me?"

"Something about you being ungrateful and causing her to go down to Hell instead of being able to stay up here as a ghost," Moxxie replied, happy to turn the subject away from Blitzø's ghost sex obsession.

"That wasn't my fault! She resolved her unfinished business, and that made her move on automatically!" Katherine protested.

 "Unfinished business?" Moxxie questioned, looking curious despite himself. A part of him was still processing ghosts actually existed, but another part of him couldn't deny he was curious to learn more.

"Oh yeah, if ghosts resolve something from their lives that they weren't able to when they were alive, they're made to move onto the afterlife proper," Nathan explained, "In Aunt Rose's case, she very blatantly stated that she'd always wanted to see us look totally defeated, which we did when we thought that we were stuck with her forever, and that was enough to move her on."

"Wait seriously? That was her unfinished business?" Millie said incredulously. It lined up with what the client told them, but still, how petty could one person be?

"Yep. See, she was a total bitch!" Nathan said with a frown, before blinking and looking to Loona, "Uh, no offense, miss."

Loona just rolled her eyes and huffed, "So, are we done expositing to each other yet? We still need to figure out what we're supposed to do about this mess that old bag got us into."

"You could just leave and go home," Katherine pointed out with a forced smile.

"Yes, return to Hell immediately, and take me with you! I wish to return to my proper post and body" Abaddon demanded, clenching his fists, "As well as remind Hell to respect and revere the name that is Abaddon!"

 "Fuck no, I'm not a damn taxi service!" Blitzø snapped, "You're such a big shot? Call up a ride of your own!"

"You dare talk back to me, imp?" Abaddon sneered with a scowl, "I do not care how much things may have changed in my absence, I am still superior to you, and you shall obey me!"

"Or what?" Blitzø gave him a mocking grin, before speaking in a baby tone, "You'll go crying to mommy and daddy about the mean Imp bullying you? Besides, considering the fact none of us have fucking heard of you, doubt you'll be getting a warm welcome, much less your job back."

 Abaddon snarled at that, before reaching behind his back and pulling out a large sword.

"I shall teach you respect to your betters, imp!" he declared, launching himself at Blitzø, who yelped and jumped out of the way before the sword slammed into the floor where he'd just been standing.

"Fuck this, I'm not in the mood for this shit," he muttered, "Millie! Do me a favor and fuck this guy up!"

Millie looked between her boss and Abaddon, before shrugging and pulling out a large battle axe, and then throwing herself at Abaddon.

"Abaddon!" Esther and Nathan called out while Ben, Annabelle, and Katherine watched in shock.

CLANG

Though Abaddon quickly raised his blade, blocking Millie's strike as he glared into her eyes, "Do you honestly think you, a mere imp, can vanquish me? I am Abaddon, Prince of Pain, he who..."

"Oh, would you please just shut up and fight," Millie said, rolling her eyes while giving a groan of annoyance, "Honestly, starting to think Satan left you on Earth so he wouldn't have to listen to you flap your gums anymore."

 "How dare you?!" Abaddon yelled in offense, breaking off from their weapon lock and swinging his sword at Millie again, though she easily dodged it.

"Careful, sweetie! I think he actually knows how to use that thing!" Moxxie called out in worry to his wife.

"Don't worry, hon, I got this!" Millie called back, while driving Abaddon back with a swing of the axe.

 "Kick her ass, Abaddon!" Esther cheered enthusiastically with an eager smile, "And you're getting this, right?" She questioned Moxxie, causing the imp holding the camera to blink.

"If you are, can I get a copy of that later?" she questioned as Moxxie arched a brow.

"You are... disturbingly nonchalant about all of this," Moxxie said with a slight frown.

"Hey, when you live in a place like this, you get used to sh..." Esther trailed off, seeing her mother's pointed look when the woman gave a cough, "...shenanigans like this."

Esther trailed off, giving her mother a wide smile.

 "Uh-huh... have you considered employing the services of a child psychologist?" Moxxie asked, looking to Katherine, who just sighed.

"I couldn't afford one," she said, "Besides, what therapist would we be able to talk to about half of what happens around here?"

"Yeah, therapists are crap," Blitzø commented, not looking away from the fight as Millie managed to knock Abaddon off his feet, only for him to dodge her axe swing down on him and jump up to punch her, "And I should know. I actually went to one once to talk about my issues, and just ended up fucking them by the time the hour was up."

"Of course you did," Loona said, shaking her head.

 "Hey, I'm fine! The only traumatizing thing I've really seen in this house was my mom making whoopie," Esther said, her eyes becoming distant as she gave a brief shiver, and at once all the demons actually shot her sympathetic looks.

"Really wish you hadn't brought that up..." Ben said, groaning into his hand at that particular memory. Never did he ever regret trying to look cool and become popular with his classmates more since that night. If he hadn't, then maybe, just maybe, that entire night could have been avoided.

"Not a sight anyone should see," his girlfriend muttered beside him with a wince, honestly preferring to die all over again than even think about her parents exchanging in intercourse, thank you very much.

"Urg, ouch, just thinking about what Blitzø gets up to in the bedroom is bad enough, don't even want to think about witnessing it," Loona said with a look of disgust.

"Tell me about it," Millie said, dodging a sword thrust from Abaddon, "My little brother once saw my folks fooling around in the barn," she clicked her tongue with a look of sympathy, "Didn't speak a word for an entire year," she added before leaping toward Abaddon with a battle cry, while swinging her axe toward his neck with him quickly blocking it with his blade.

CLANG

"At least that's one trauma Crimson didn't give me..." Moxxie muttered, with Blitzø giving a nod.

"Yeah, my dad was an asshole who actually sold me one time, but never saw him doing the nasty, thank the pit," he added with a look of disgust.

"It wasn't like I expected them to charge into the room with some psycho serial killer!" Katherine retorted defensively, blushing at that memory while giving a groan.

"To be fair to Pillowcase, he's not so bad, he just needed someone to talk to listen to him," Nathan said, with his sister shooting him an annoyed look in how he was still defensive over the man who tried to kill her children and herself.

"And sounds like you're in the same boat," Nathan added, giving Blitzø a soft encouraging smile.

"Excuse me?" Blitzø shot him an annoyed look from his position by Ben and Annabelle.

 "Well buddy, it seems like you have a lot of issues you're dealing with," Nathan said, "So, you'd like a friendly ear to talk to about it?"

"...Is he fucking serious?" Blitzø asked, looking to the other hotel residents in disbelief.

"Yes, he insists on seeing the best in people, no matter how stupid that might be," Katherine said, giving her brother a flat look.

"Hey, it's a great life philosophy that's never let me down before," Nathan said defensively.

"Well, you're barking up the wrong tree, asshole," Blitzø scoffed, "I'm perfectly capable of handling my own shit."

"Aside from bankrupting us rather than dealing with your emotional issues," Moxxie muttered.

"Fuck off, Moxxie!" Blitzø snarled, shooting him a glare, "And shouldn't you, of all people, be telling me to focus on the job?" he added with an annoyed look.

"Usually, yes, but considering you're more focused on pestering a living and dead minor on how to pursue sexual intercourse with ghosts," Moxxie said with a flat look at his employer, "And how we're currently stuck figuring out how to meet the client's wishes..." he said with a slight annoyed click of his tongue, "Perhaps you unloading your shit baggage, as you put it, might be a healthy way to deal with your current crisis while I try to figure out how fulfill the order."

Blitzø opened his mouth to retort, but clicked it shut when he couldn't think of a good comeback.

"Ugh, fine! Go ahead and try to think of a way out of this mess, Mr. Smart Guy," he grumbled to his employee before turning back to Nathan, "Alright, go ahead and try to head shrink me. But I guarantee that you're gonna be the one who needs therapy by the time we're done!"

"Never be said I don't enjoy a challenge," Nathan said with an eager grin as he clapped his hands together, "You like coco? Because we can fix up some coco in the kitchen," he questioned as Abaddon stabbed at Millie on the ground, who rolled to the side, dodging it.

"I would also like some coco," he requested, looking over, "With the tiny marshmallows."

He added before twisting around and once again blocking Millie's strike with a flat look, causing her to growl in annoyance.

"I might be in a weaker human coil, but I didn't become one of Satan's best out of nepotism," Abaddon said evenly, before adding with an annoyed muttered, "No matter what my mother-in-law liked to say... only part of Hell I don't miss."

Millie arched a brow at that, but shrugged it off and focused on the fight.

"Ya know, you talk about how important you are, but I've been racking my brain, and I'm sure that I ain't never heard anything about you," she said, smirking as she saw Abaddon's eye twitch.

"That is because you are an ignorant country bumpkin!" he snapped, swinging wildly at her. Millie, who had heard far worse insults in her life, wasn't affected and just smirked, easily dodging the attack and lashing out with a kick that took him in the ribs, knocking the wind out of him.

"Or maybe you ain't as important as you think," Millie said with a taunting smirk aimed at the so-called elite demon, "I mean, you've been up here how long? A good few decades or maybe even centuries, and yet not even a hint of Satan or any of the Sins sending someone after you."

She arched a brow as Abaddon let out a low angry growl, though she could see the fear and uncertainty that flashed in his eyes as well.

"Not sure what you did before you got your skin suit there, but it must not have been that important," she added as Abaddon's eye twitch.

"I was the gatekeeper, you impudent firetoad!" he snarled, "I stood watch over the boundaries between Hell and the realms beyond, and ensured nothing interfered with the passage of Sinner souls down below!"

"Yeah, cause that's something that needs guarding, and can't just handle itself," Millie said dryly, "Sounds to me like everyone just wanted you out of the way~"

At that, the usual passive face of Abaddon became enraged as he snarled, "SHUT UP!" While swinging his sword straight at this impudent disrespectful imp's neck, as he was overcome with his Lord's sin - Wrath!

 "RAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" he roared as he lunged at Millie, only for her to drop on her back and lash out with a double kick. Both legs connected with his chest and flipped him off of her, sending him flying through the air to hit the far wall.

SMASH

"Ha! Ya like that, ya smug bastard?!" Millie yelled after him, while Moxxie ran over to catch her up in a hug and give her a triumphant kiss. Loona, meanwhile, was looking at the Freelings and expecting to see them despairing at their ally's loss, but instead they were staring in wide-eyed horror at the hole in the wall that Abaddon had gone through, which revealed a long dark hallway.

"You idiots just busted open the Forbidden Wing!" Annabelle shrieked in terror, making the I.M.P. members blink and look to the hole in confusion.

"Wait, isn't that an exterior wall?" Moxxie asked, arching an eyebrow, "How is there room for a whole wing back there?"

"We don't ask those questions anymore," Esther said, taking a nervous step backwards as a light appeared in the darkness down the hall, "And now, we should all start running!"

 "What, are you fucking serious?!" Blitzø gave them an insulted look, "Demon assassins don't scare you, but a dark hallway has you ready to soil your underwear?" He said with an affronted look.

"Um... Blitzø..." Loona, however, suddenly stiffened, as suddenly every instinct she had was screaming two things at her - danger, and run.

"I think..." she suddenly took a cautious step back, "We should do what they say."

Blitzø blinked at that and looked to his daughter in confusion, noting that her ears were pinned back, and her fur was bristling. He'd never seen her like this before, and it was scaring him.

"Um, yeah, okay, let's go," he said, eyeing the hallway as the approaching light grew increasingly bright.

 "Double time, people! Move it, and whatever you do, don't look into the light!" Nathan called out urgently as the group of humans, demons, and ghosts took off just as Abaddon pulled himself out of the debris, rubbing his head.

"Urg... foul imp, I will not..." he paused at the hole, giving a confused blink as he realized he was alone, "Where did everyone go?"

 Then he noticed the light that was increasingly brightening his surroundings. Looking back towards its source, his eyes widened as he was greeted by the sight of a creature resembling a huge anglerfish emerging from within the darkness of the Forbidden Wing, the light coming from its lure.

"Ah, that's where they went," Abaddon stated with a nod, before jumping up and immediately running away. With the anglerfish letting out a demonic screech that echoed across the hotel as it finally, after so many years, left the forbidden wing for fresh prey. A screech that sent all of the hotel's spectral denizens into a fearful frenzy.

Chapter Text

"Urg... foul imp, I will not..." he paused at the hole, giving a confused blink as he realized he was alone, "Where did everyone go?"

Then he noticed the light that was increasingly brightening his surroundings. Looking back towards its source, his eyes widened as he was greeted by the sight of a creature resembling a huge anglerfish emerging from within the darkness of the Forbidden Wing, the light coming from its lure.

"Ah, that's where they went," Abaddon stated with a nod, before jumping up and immediately running away. With the anglerfish letting out a demonic screech that echoed across the hotel as it finally, after so many years, left the forbidden wing for fresh prey. A screech that sent all of the hotel's spectral denizens into a fearful frenzy.

"RED ALERT, RED ALERT! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! THE FISH IS OUT OF THE BOWL! I REPEAT THE FISH IS OUT OF THE BOWL!" Nathan yelled as the mixed group ran down a hallway, various ghosts turning to look at them in confusion.

"What's that mean?" the ghost of a hippie-looking man holding a knife asked as he poked his head through a wall.

"It means that fish from the Forbidden Wing is free, Stabby Paul!" Nathan yelled as the group ran past, which triggered panic in the ghosts.

"WHAT?!" Stabby Paul yelled, before ducking back into the wall, "Run away!"

"It's gonna take all our memories!" a World War I pilot screamed, jumping out a window.

"Candles!" shrieked a ghost covered in melted candle wax and several lit candles, diving into the floor.

"Wow, look at all these fuckers! This really is the ghost jackpot," Blitzø couldn't help but say with an arched brow, letting out a whistle as they ran down the halls.

"Not the time, sir!" Moxxie called out, looking concerned at the reactions; he might be new to the reality that ghosts were real, but he realized anything that could terrify people already dead wasn't good!

"Someone mind telling us what's going on?" Millie called out with a scowl, "and why everyone's freaking out over a fish?"

"Yeah, even Loons is looking more freaked then when she had to get her hellbies shot," Blitzø added with a scowl, giving his daughter a concerned look as they turned a corner.

"Don't remind me about that," Loona grumbled, while shooting a nervous look over her shoulder, "But yeah, my instincts are screaming at me to run far away and not stop."

"It's not just a fish, it's some kind of abomination that eats people's memories!" Esther exclaimed, "We don't know what it is, but it's been stuck in the Forbidden Wing since forever, and now it's out!"

"Eats memories?" Moxxie frowned, tapping his chin in thought, "That sounds like a Memory Devourer from the Envy Ring, but those are incredibly rare! How the fuck would one end up in this hotel?!"

 "SCREEEEEEEEE!" At that question, a chilling screech sounded out behind them.

"Why don't you ask it yourself!" Ben yelled, looking over his shoulder with a freaked out expression. He'd missed out on the anglerfish last time due to being caught up in his and Annabelle's relationship drama, but he'd heard all about it after the fact, and as it emerged around a corner behind them, he had to admit that it lived up to its horrifying reputation.

"Well, I've lived through too much crap to get killed by a fish!" Blitzø yelled, turning and shooting at the anglerfish while still running, only for the bullets to bounce harmlessly off of it, "Fuck! Moxxie, did we bring any of those angelic steel Carmine weapons we stole from that shithead Striker?"

"No sir! I thought this was just going to be a simple job, why would I have brought the heavy duty stuff?!" Moxxie shot back.

 "Fuckkkk!" Blitzø cursed as he realized and hated to admit that Moxxie had a point, "Well, since you're the expert on this thing, don't suppose you know any weaknesses?!"

He called as Moxxie shot him a glare.

"Just because I've heard of Memory Devourers doesn't suddenly make me a Hell Zoologist, sir!" He snapped, "All I do know is that they don't give up on prey once they set their eyes on them!"

"Well, that ain't good," Millie muttered, before turning to the Freelings, "Y'all have a panic room or something in here?"

"No!" Katherine said at the same time that Esther said, "Yes!"

"Wait, what?" Katherine asked, blinking and looking at her daughter in confusion.

"What? You think with all my studies into the paranormal, and all the crazy stuff that happens around here, I wouldn't have taken protective measures at some point?" Esther shot back, "I converted the parlor into a safe room months ago!"

 "I am both so proud of you, but also upset that you didn't tell me sooner," Katherine said with mixed emotions.

"You can have a mother/daughter moment later, right now let's focus on not becoming fish food!" Annabelle yelled, running beside Ben.

 "Wait, would that thing even be able to feed on you? Ain't you intangible?" Millie asked in confusion.

"Yes, but that monster can still touch us!" Annabelle snapped, "Don't question it, just run!"

"SCREEEEEEEEEE!" The Memory Devourer let out another screech, echoing her statement.

"You heard the lady, hustle people!" Ben exclaimed desperately, just as an another ghost phased through a wall they ran by.

"Hey, what's the rush?" The ghost who was a teenage boy who was barefoot wearing blue swim trunks and white sleeveless shirt asked.

"The forbidden corridor demon is loose! Run Randy!" Nathan called over his shoulder as Randy gave a confused blink.

"The whaAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Though he would get his answer as the fish demon lunged toward him, latching his head in his jaws as he let out a panicked shrill scream.

"Welp, that buys us some time at least," Blitzø said with a wince as he looked back.

"Randy!" Ben shouted in horror, looking back at the ghost who was kinda-sorta a friend of his.

"Keep moving! Besides, he's not exactly going to be losing a lot," Esther chided her brother, adding the last bit in a mutter. No offense to Randy, but he wasn't exactly a guy with a lot of good memories to hold onto, from what she'd seen of him.

 "But..." Ben's protest was cut off by Annabelle.

"Listen to your sister, or you can forget about me sneaking in your bed anymore, mister!" His girlfriend snapped with a stern glare.

"Wait, what?!" Katherine called out, though was ignored.

"Sorry buddy!" Ben called out over his shoulder, as behind them the Memory Devourer lowered its lure and began to suck out and feast on Randy's memories.

"Parlor straight ahead!" Esther called out with relief.

"Alright, let's see what kinda security system you got to keep this fucker from turning us into his next meal," Blitzø added with a relieved smile.

 The group dove into the parlor, and without pausing, Esther grabbed a rope tied to the window curtains and yanked hard on it.

FWOOSH

In response, secretly placed pouches fitted above all the room's doorways and windows burst open, dumping a large amount of salt to pile onto the bottom of each entry into the room.

"Salt lines. Demons can't cross them, so that thing's not getting in any time soon," Esther declared.

 At that, while her family looked relieved, their demonic guests just gave her incredulous looks.

"Oh, for... are you fucking serious?!" Blitzø exclaimed in disbelief, his eye twitching, "You honestly think salt does jack shit against demons? What next, you going to throw french fries?!"

 "Hey!" Esther protested, "I've read a ton about demons in all sorts of books, and they all agree that demons can't cross salt!"

"Yeah, well, those kinds of books also think Lucifer and Satan are the same guy, so I wouldn't believe everything they say," Loona stated flatly.

 "Wait, they're not the same guy?" Ben said with a blink.

"Oh yeah, Abaddon told me about that awhile back," Nathan said with a shrug with a thoughtful frown, "Think he said Satan was like Lucifer's right hand man and muscle... though he also mentioned something about Lucifer having a thing for ducks."

He added, getting strange looks as a frustrated Blitzø approached the door, "Yeah, you fuckers can hash that out, right now I'm..."

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

"FUCKING SHIT!"

The imp was cut off when he suddenly found himself face to face with the fucking fish itself.

"Blitzø!" His team cried out as he landed on his ass as the monster lunged forward and...

SLAM

SLAM

Hit... thin air?

"What... the... fuck?" Moxxie breathed out, his arms going limp, causing him to drop the camera he had honestly forgotten he was still holding as the creature continued to slam against the open doorway to the parlor... only to hit some kinda invisible barrier.

"What's... going on?" Millie asked, her tone leaking incredibility while Blitzø just looked stunned on his ass.

"I think..." Loona's wide eyes went down to the salt on the floor, "The kid... was right."

The hellhound said in a stunned tone... that also had a trace of concern. Because first ghosts were actually a thing, now something that should be complete bullshit actually worked! It was not only making her question what she knew about the world (which she fucking hated!) but it was making her worried at what else out there she thought was human propaganda fairy tale bullshit was actually real.

 She was thinking that she should pull aside Beelzebub for a private chat next time that the Sin of Gluttony invited her to a party. Surely someone as high ranked as her would be able to set the record straight about this stuff.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Blitzø muttered in disbelief as the shock wore off, while Esther looked smugly at him.

"Ha! In your face!" she laughed, "Doesn't say too much about you if a human girl knows more about demon stuff than actual demons, does it?"

"No, it just proves that imps are ignorant," Abaddon stated, making everyone jump in surprise at his presence.

"Where'd you come from?" Annabelle asked in confusion, as Abaddon had not entered the room with them.

"Vents are very useful," he replied, gesturing to a nearby vent in the corner of the room that had had its cover kicked off from the inside.

"This form, while weak, does have its advantages in traveling small tight spaces," He added, before giving a thoughtful hum at the Memory Devourer, "Though it makes dealing with this particular beast of the Envy Ring more challenging."

He admitted with a click of his tongue, sighing, "It was honestly such a chore trapping it last time."

"Wait, last time? And you knew what it was?!" Katherine said incredulously as Abaddon gave her a flat look.

"Of course, who else did you think could trap such a deadly demonic beast, Stabby Paul?" He asked with an eye roll, "And you didn't honestly think I hadn't ever stepped foot in this hotel until Nathan found me, did you?"

"Uh, I mean, I kinda assumed that," Nathan said with a shrug.

"I've been stuck on this plane for 400 years, I didn't spend all of it living in the woods eating raw squirrels," Abaddon replied flatly.

"Um... did they have to be raw?" Ben asked, but was ignored.

"Why didn't you warn us about this thing?!" Katherine demanded incredulously, glaring at Abaddon, who just shrugged.

"I trapped it in the pocket dimension I turned that entire wing of the building into, which everyone already knew to stay away from," he explained, "How was I supposed to know these filthy imps would show up and break it open?"

"Hey! You started that fight, asshole!" Millie protested.

 "And you refused to respect your betters," Abaddon shot back, giving her an annoyed glare, "Along with breaking some of Hell's most sacred laws," He added, causing Millie and the others to stiffen, "Did you really think I didn't notice that shared flinch when I mentioned the punishment for using a Goetia grimoire."

He glanced over at Blitzø, who shot him a glare, "Or your leader's pitiful attempts at deflection," Abaddon stated while clicking his tongue, "Not to mention, four centuries it might be, I doubt demons apparently killing the living for Sinner souls would be allowed."

Abaddon said, his gaze boring into Blitzø, "Not unless Lord Lucifer and Lady Lilith are ready to risk Heaven's wrath as the horns sound for the final glorious war."

 "Hey, we're providing a service!" Blitzø snapped, "We're helping Sinners get even with people who fucked them over in life! Besides, we've been doing this for years, and Heaven hasn't found out yet!"

"Actually sir, there were those cherubs we met during the Lyle Lipton job," Moxxie pointed out.

"Not helping, Moxxie!" Blitzø snapped at him, "Besides, you forgetting that they got kicked out of Heaven for killing the guy for us by dropping that piano on him? Who the fuck are they going to tell?"

While the Freelings and co arched eyebrows at the piano comment, Blitzø scoffed as he thought on those angelic crybabies, "Besides, we haven't seen them since, so who cares?"

"Uh, actually, B? We ran into them in Lust on the night that Stolas dumped you," Millie said, she and the others flinching as Blitzø's head snapped around to stare at them.

"What the fuck?! That was over a month ago! Why am I just hearing about this now?!" he demanded incredulously.

 "We did tell you!" Loona snapped in annoyance, glaring at him, causing him to blink confused, "Except you were too much of a mess to pay attention," She added, rubbing her eyes...

(Flashback)

"Fucker! Thinks I'm not hiccup... good enough for him..." Blitzo said, chugging down a large bottle of alcohol that seemed to be glowing before grabbing a handful of ice cream straight out of the container, "Well, fuck him! And fuck his fucking book! And fuck his pretty crystal!"

The imp snapped, before sniffling a moment and faceplanting on his desk.

"Why does everyone do this to me?!" He cried out while crying hysterically into his desk... while standing in front of his desk was Loona with a very uncomfortable expression, slowly backing away out of the office

(End flashback)

"You haven't exactly been on the ball lately Blitzø," Millie said with a sigh, looking toward her boss and friend who looked uncomfortable and paler.

"That's an understatement... and the fact the Cherubs were not only packing advanced hardware but managed to get into Hell in the first place means we have a potential problem," Moxxie said.

"So you allowed denizens of Heaven itself to not only infiltrate Hell, but escape alive after attacking you?" Abaddon spoke up, his voice tinged with disbelief.

"Actually... we kinda just threw them into a portal that popped up," Millie admitted with a cough, as looking back she really dropped the ball in not finishing the job there, or at least not trying to capture one of those annoying uppity angel fuckers for some interrogation.

"Typical... how your species was created by my lord escapes me," Abaddon said, facepalming, "But it's clear you four will hardly be of any use regarding our current situation except as bait," He added with a frown, looking like he was actually considering the idea, prompting furious glares from the hellhound and imps, while the humans and ghosts listened off to the side.

"Anyone else here feeling a bit awkward watching this?" Ben questioned in a whisper.

"Personally, I could use some popcorn." Before giving his sister a flat look.

"What? It's basically a soap opera!" Esther huffed, crossing her arms defiantly.

"I kinda feel the need to talk to Abaddon about how racist he's acting," Nathan said, feeling uncomfortable listening to Abaddon keep insulting the imps.

"Worry about demonic racism later, we have a bigger problem to worry about!" Katherine declared, gesturing to the Memory Devourer still slamming into the salt barrier, "Abaddon, how did you deal with this thing last time?!"

"Wasn't too hard," Abaddon said, shrugging, "Just had some particularly rude mortals head into the pocket dimension after it was finished. The Devourer followed after them," He looked after at the demonic fish growling in front of the barrier, "Then it was a simple matter of sealing the Forbidden Wing while it enjoyed its meal."

There was a moment of stunned silence as everyone, human, ghost and demon, stared at Abaddon in disbelief.

"You tricked people into being bait for that thing?!" Katherine demanded.

"They were very unpleasant individuals," Abaddon scoffed, cocking his head in thought, "In fact, they might have been associates of Fat Tony, now that I think about it. They talked like he does, and were constantly threatening to shoot people as they tried to hide several large boxes; it was telling them about the Forbidden Wing as a potential hiding spot that I used to lure them in."

 "Fat Tony?" Millie repeated with an arched brow.

"Mobster who's trapped in a loop constantly repeating how he died," Esther summarized for them, but looked more intrigued at a certain part of Abaddon's story, "Any chance those boxes had something valuable?"

 "Esther! Seriously?!" Ben gave his sister a look of disbelief.

"What? If the fish is out of the Forbidden Wing and there's something valuable in there, we might as well exploit the opportunity!" Esther called out, slightly defensive, "I mean, you know we're flat broke!"

"I don't need that reminder, but it's a fair point," Katherine muttered, weighing the seriousness of the situation with their financial situation as she glanced at Abaddon, who shrugged.

"I didn't bother to ask, it was irrelevant to me," he explained.

 "Of course it was... after all, why should the so called demon elite worry about money," Blitzø muttered bitterly under his breath, "Not like you guys have to actually work for a living. You can just sit on your asses and have everything handed to you."

"I spent centuries doing my duty, imp! Do not diminish the dedication of my service to Lord Satan!" Abaddon snapped, glaring at Blitzø.

 "Oh yes, and what did your so-called great service get you?" Blitzø asked with a sneer, "Getting ditched on Earth, waiting for a rescue that ain't coming because, newsflash, Satan doesn't give anymore fucks about you than he does imps like me!"

 "You lie!" Abaddon snarled.

"Do I? Because you said it's been 400 years, right? Gotta figure like the big guy would have sent help by now if he was going to," Blitzø replied with a smug smirk.

 "Listen, you disrespectful, impudent..." Whatever Abaddon was going to say was suddenly cut off by a loud angry yell.

"ENOUGH!"

Immediately, all eyes went to Katherine, who was glaring at them.

"I have had it!" she snapped with a dark glare, "It's bad enough my own aunt turns out to be such a piece of..."

She took a deep breath, trying to calm down as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Look..." she gave the demons a stern look, "Assassins trying to kill me to the side for now... right now, we need to work together, because arguing isn't going to help any of us one bit."

 "Katherine's right. We're all in the same boat right now," Nathan said, glancing to where the Memory Devourer was now floating back and forth outside the doorway, no longer trying to get in but clearly not giving up, "We need to work together if we want to get out of this."

 "Oh, like we need the help of some wannabe friendly ghosts, a soccer mom, and her brats!" Blitzø huffed, crossing his arms, "Nevermind Mr. elite has-been here," he added, jabbing one thumb towards Abaddon, who shot him an annoyed glare, but Blitzø was focusing his annoyed glare towards Katherine.

"We're assassins, lady, professional assassins, which means we don't work with or help our targets," he stated with a scowl, but was interrupted by Moxxie giving a cough.

"Sir, with all due respect, an alliance might be prudent considering our situation," he said, gesturing to the Memory Devourer, "We don't have the tools to deal with this thing on our own. Even if you portal back down to the office to get the heavy weaponry, we don't know if it'll work."

 "Moxxie's right, Blitzø," Millie added with a frown, "This thing looks tougher than the animals I wrangled back in Wrath, and that memory trick of its isn't something I'm eager to experience."

 "Ugh, fuck it, fine!" Blitzø snapped, throwing his hands up in frustration, "Why not, this day has been a total clusterfuck anyway!"

"If you want to talk about it, I'm still here," Nathan said, stepping up with an encouraging smile as Blitzø shot him an annoyed look.

"Are you still on about that?" he asked flatly, "Because I think we've got bigger problems than me complaining about how my life's been one long dumpster fire!"

"Hey, there's always time to share your feelings," Nathan said earnestly with a gentle expression, "And bottling them up isn't healthy," he added as Esther headed over to the wall.

"Well, while Uncle Nathan's playing demon therapist, I'll check the supplies, and then we can come up with a plan to fry this fish," she said as she pressed on a certain spot on the wall, causing the whole thing to pop open and reveal a hidden set of shelves.

"Has that always been there?" Ben asked with a blink.

"Yeah, found it months ago, it's why I decided to use this room for the safe space," Esther replied as she started going through the boxes and bottles stacked on the shelves.

"Where'd you even get all of this?" Katherine asked, warily looking at a jar full of eyeballs from what she hoped were animals of some kind.

"Let's just say you can get anything from the internet and leave it at that," Esther replied with a slight cough, "But I've got supplies to handle rogue ghosts, werewolves, vampires, and in this case, hostile demons."

She added, glancing at the Memory Devourer as it floated past the doorway again, before looking over at the I.M.P members.

"Okay, your call with the salt aside..." Moxxie spoke up with a slight doubtful expression, "I'm afraid to inform you vampires and werewolves don't exist, and that whatever you have prepared might not be able to handle a Memory Devourer. While I know little of the species, I know they're counted among the most dangerous examples of Hell's wildlife."

He added in distress as Abaddon gave a nod.

"The imp surprisingly is half right," he added, ignoring Moxxie and Millie's annoyed and slightly confused dirty looks, "The main reason they became so rare compared to days of old was because the species made a real nuisance of itself, and forced Lady Leviathan herself to hunt down and cull the population," he revealed, much to the surprise of the others, particular his fellow demons.

"But yes, vampires and werewolves are very much a thing," he added, giving them a frown, "Have you seriously been running around on Earth while failing to take into account its native supernatural threats?" He clicked his tongue in disappointment as he rolled his eyes, "Foolish, but what else would you expect from imps and their pet?"

"Hey! That's my daughter, asshole!" Blitzø snapped.

"Really?" Abaddon arched a skeptical brow.

"Adopted," Loona clarified, though she was scowling at Abaddon too, "But call me a pet again, dickhead, and see what happens."

"I'm terrified," Abaddon said flatly with an even flatter face, causing Loona to give a growl, though at the same time she along with the others, or at least Millie and Moxxie, were processing the fact that werewolves and vampires were also apparently a thing. None of them liked this asshole or trusted him... but tonight had really been putting what they knew and thought of as human fantasy into question.

"Alright... um, Abaddon's racist comments aside which we'll be discussing later..." Nathan spoke up, giving a cough and slight look to Abaddon, "We really should try to work together here."

He said, rubbing his chin, "Hmm... maybe while the others come up with a plan, I can put you all through some trust exercises," he added thoughtfully, getting incredulous looks from I.M.P before Abaddon raised a hand.

"For the record, I'm not racist," the demonic boy said flatly with a scowl, "I'm merely stating the truth about Hell's hierarchy... and I've learned first hand how unreliable and untrustworthy imps are. If they were actually dependable, then I might have not been stuck here for four centuries."

 "What's that supposed to mean?" Millie asked.

"It means that I had imp servants who were supposed to be my backup during this possession," Abaddon explained, scowl deepening, "Instead, they ran off as soon as they realized I was trapped in this body and abandoned me!"

"Well, maybe you were a shit boss," Blitzø said with a smirk.

 "I was an excellent boss, I'll have you know!" Abaddon said with an annoyed glare, "I provided them lodgings, vacation, and actually paid them! While the rest of your kind were expected to slave away with whatever scraps their masters gave them!"

 "Hmm, to be fair, that does sound pretty good as far as the standards of the old days go," Moxxie mused, "I've read that imps and hellhounds used to be basically slaves before the Princess convinced the King and Queen to give us more rights."

"What princess?" Abaddon asked, blinking in confusion.

"Princess Charlie, Lucifer's daughter," Moxxie explained, and at Abaddon's wide-eyed stare, added in a murmur, "Who is about 200, now that I think about it, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you don't know about her."

 A slight stunned silence filled the room at the knowledge of the devil himself having a daughter.

"So, the Antichrist is a girl?" Esther questioned with a blink, before smirking, "Sweet, why should boys get to kickstart the apocalypse," she said as the demons exchanged slight looks at that comment while Abaddon's eye twitched.

"I missed the birth of Lord Lucifer and Lady Lilith's child! The Antichrist!" He exclaimed, hands going to his head as he fell to his knees, "He, um, she who is fated to lead the charge against the pearly gates! As we bring upon the end of all days!"

 "Umm... yeah... about that," Millie gave a cough, looking awkward, "No offense to the Princess, as the so-called elite go she's got plenty support among Hellborn, buttttt..."

She trailed off awkwardly, as Abaddon shot her a concerned look.

"She's more likely to be singing songs about rainbows and friendship than leading armies against Heaven," Blitzø chimed in flatly.

"Excuse me?" Abaddon questioned, looking confused.

"You see, the thing is..." Moxxie rubbed his neck and proceeded to explain the Princess's eccentricities... and her current passion project.

(Outside the Hotel)

"Should be safe here..." sighed the World War I pilot as he sat on the ground against a tree.

"Candles," Whimpered his companion next to him.

"Relax, I'm sure they'll handle that thing soon enough," the ghost said to Candlehead next to him, before a loud scream pierced the air.

"SHE'S FUCKING WHAT?!"

 Both ghosts jumped at that, and looked to the hotel in confusion.

"Then again, it sounds like they might be distracted," the pilot stated.

"Candles," Candlehead nodded.

(Inside)

"The Princess of Hell, the child of the Morningstar, is actually wasting her time on trying to get Sinners into Heaven... not as a conquering army but as redeemed souls?!" Abaddon exclaimed incredulously.

"Yep. Not that the Sinners actually give a shit about her efforts," Blitzø snorted, "From what I hear, the only guests she's had at that hotel have been some wannabe Overlord who keeps getting his scaly ass kicked and that one pornstar whose stuff I watch on slow nights."

 "You know... learning a lot today... none of it anything like I expected," Ben admitted.

 "Yeah, Hell's sounding a lot less impressive than I thought it would be," Esther scoffed, before turning back to her collection of occult artifacts.

"Why in her father's name would the Princess think that this would be a worthwhile endeavor?!" Abaddon demanded, "If Sinners were worthy of being in Heaven, they wouldn't be Sinners!"

"I actually find it quite inspiring," Before turning an annoyed look at Nathan, who was smiling while rubbing his eyes a bit, "I mean, someone trying to bring salvation to the damned... it's beautiful."

 "It's a disgrace to everything Hell stands for!" Abaddon exclaimed, "How has so much changed in my absence?! I will have to speak to Lord Satan about this immediately upon my return!"

"Are you back to that? I'm not taking your privileged condescending ass anywhere!" Blitzø snapped.

 "You will return me to my proper domain, or by the pit I swear I will..." Abaddon stepped forward, glaring into the imp's eyes.

"Can we please focus!" Annabelle suddenly screamed in frustration, causing everyone to turn to her, "In case you all forgot, our lives and afterlives are in danger from..."

She pointed over at the doorway, before pausing as she noticed something important, "It's gone."

"Good, that means we can get out of here," Blitzø scoffed.

"Um, Blitzø? Doesn't that just mean that it'll go after someone else?" Loona pointed out.

"Not our problem!" Blitzø said with a casual shrug.

"Sir, we can't just leave that thing wondering around!" Moxxie said with a scandalized look.

"Why not?" Blitzø shot back with an annoyed look, "Honestly, with all this bullshit, I'm actually just ready to take the hit to my assassin reputation and call this job a wash for once."

 "Sir, it's the moral of the thing," Moxxie protested, "We can't just let this thing keep rampaging."

"He's got a point, Blitzø. It's kinda our fault that it got loose," Millie added.

 "Oh for- and now you're having a moral crisis too, Mills!?" Blitzø exclaimed, giving her a frustrated glare, "The imp I recruited wouldn't have had any trouble ditching this dump. I mean, for fuck's sake, what happened to kill them all when we first started killing for Sinners?!"

Millie at that flinched, before taking a deep breath.

"She grew up, Blitzø," she said, giving her employer a pleading yet strong look, "I love this business just as much as you... but it's gotten to the point, especially after the incident where you and Moxxie got captured..." Moxxie reached over and placed a hand on his wife's shoulder as she looked down, "Where even I've realized Moxxie's got a point... we've been reckless and avoided taking responsibility a lot, Blitzø, and we... you can't keep doing that."

At that Blitzø paused, grimacing and biting his lip before shaking his head.

"Fuck this," he muttered, turning to leave, "You can play hero if you want, but I'm going back- URG!"

He was cut off as he reached the salt trail, and just like Memory Devourer slammed right into the barrier.

 "Agh! Fucking Christ on a cross!" he yelled as he bounced back from the barrier. Kicking at it to no avail, he turned and glared in Esther's direction, "Take this down so that I can leave!"

"Little busy here," Esther replied without looking at the imp, focused on mixing various potions.

 "Also, considering we don't know where that thing is, wandering off alone probably won't go well for you," Katherine pointed out, standing over her daughter as Blitzø scowled, growling.

 "Dammit, why can't anything ever be easy?" he muttered, clenching his fists, "Don't I deserve one simple day without anything going wrong?"

"Sounds to me like someone has something he'd like to get off his chest," Nathan spoke up with a hopeful tone, making Blitzø groan.

"Oh, for Satan's sake, will you shut up about that already?!" he snapped, glaring at the ghost, "Seriously, you really want to hear about all the fucked up shit in my life? You want to hear about how my father was an emotionally abusive piece of shit, how I accidentally caused a fire that killed my mother and mutilated my best friend, how I've fucked up every chance at real relationships in my life, and how now I apparently can't even do the one thing I'm good at? Huh, you want to hear about all of that, fuckface?!"

Silence stood in the room, broken only by Blitzø's angry deep breaths as everyone, even his fellow demons, gave him stunned stares.

"I'm suddenly very uncomfortable," Annabelle muttered softly to her boyfriend, with Ben giving a nod.

"Yeah... who knew demons had even worse issues than us," he said with a low frown as his mother gave a frown, standing beside him also feeling uncomfortable... and for once, she was starting to see what her brother might mean about intervening and helping anyone, because this guy - demonic assassin sent by her bitch of an aunt or not -clearly needed some therapy badly.

"I'm here for every word," Nathan said softly while looking at Blitzø, seeing not some demon assassin... but a man in deep pain, as the imp scowled at him.

"Urgg, will you all just sort this all out without trying to distract me!" Esther suddenly called out with as she gave an annoyed tone... though also gave Blitzø an uncomfortable look.

"Look, you and Uncle Nathan go sit over there since you clearly need an intervention. The rest of you just do whatever while I work on this," Esther said, focusing back on the potions, "Maybe try to figure anything we can use against that thing."

"Sure. Fine... whatever," Blitzø muttered, emotionally drained by his outburst and not able to care enough to resist the suggestion, instead just walking stiffly over to the corner of the room with Nathan in tow.

"Shit. I knew he was fucked up, but I never knew it was this bad," Loona muttered, watching her father walk off with a worried frown. She'd thought she'd seen him at his worst after he got wasted at Bee's party or even this past month since Stolas dumped him... but apparently, that was just the tip of the iceberg.

"This has been boiling over for a while, " Moxxie said softly with a frown, his tone also leaking concern.

"Did either of you know about his mom or that fire?" Millie asked in a low tone, with Moxxie and Loona shaking their heads.

"I mean... that explains the scars," Loona said, thinking of the white discolorations all over Blitzø's body, "And it would definitely explain how fucked up he is in the head if he's been living with that kinda guilt for so long."

"Yeah... I always thought he just had poor impulse control and had no concept of common sense or personal space," Moxxie admitted, frowning, "I never suspected this..."

Because really, it explained a lot about Blitzø. If he had all this guilt and self-hatred in himself for so long, it made sense that he'd be so reckless and impulsive in everything he did. Shit, it probably explained why things with the prince had gone so badly - he probably didn't think he deserved any kind of happiness in his life, so he sabotaged it when it looked like things were going good.

Regardless of whatever else happened here today, Moxxie resolved to find his boss a real therapist once they were back in Hell. No one deserved this kind of pain, and if nothing else, he deserved a helping hand after all he'd done for him and the others over the years.

 "This job's really gone to shit.... even more so than usual, which is saying a lot," Millie muttered off to the side as she headed over to a couch with Moxxie and Loona.

"Tell me about it. Ghosts exist, salt actually works against us, and we find a former high rank demon stuck in the body of a little boy that Hell's forgotten about," Moxxie muttered with a grimace.

"Never mind the fucking fish that apparently wants to eat our memories and odds are our flesh and bones too," Loona added quite bluntly. Before grimacing and adding, "And on top of all that, Blitzø's having an emotional breakdown that actually makes me feel sorry for always treating him like shit."

 The hellhound admitted with a guilty expression, because as much as Blitzø could drive her crazy, and how she wished he wouldn't treat her like a little girl sometimes... she did appreciate what he did for her.

"It's certainly been one of our rougher months," Millie mused as she took a seat with a sigh.

 After that, a tense silence fell over the room for a few minutes, except for the murmurs of Blitzø and Nathan's voices in the corner, until Ben broke it.

"So... what's Hell like?" he asked. At everyone's stares, he shrugged, "What? When else am I going to have a chance to ask?"

"I talk about Hell all the time!" Abaddon piped up in protest.

"Well, yeah, but it seems like you're a little out of date," Ben pointed out, "Besides, you mostly just talk about "torture this", "fire and brimstone that", and it sounds like there's a lot more to it than that."

"Of course there is," Loona said with a snort, rolling her eyes, "I'll admit, humans apparently got more credit than I thought when it came to the supernatural," she said, giving the boy a frown, "But trust me, they've got a very twisted idea about what Hell's like."

"Yeah, for example the Sins or other demons don't waste their time torturing Sinners," Millie said, giving a shrug, "They honestly do a good enough job fucking with each other and making themselves miserable while confined to the Pride Ring as is."

 "Pride Ring?" Annabelle asked with a blink.

"Hell's divided into seven rings, each dedicated to one of the Deadly Sins," Moxxie explained, "However, the souls of Sinners are bound only to Pride, presumably as part of King Lucifer's punishment for having accidentally created Hell in the first place."

"Wait, accidentally?" Katherine repeated with a blink, arching a brow, "You mean, like he didn't mean to create Hell?" She added, wondering how someone somehow accidentally created an afterlife of eternal damnation.

"Well, according to the way the story's always been told, Lucifer gave Eve the forbidden fruit because he wanted to give humans free will, but a side effect of that was the creation of Hell," Millie explained, Abaddon nodding along in agreement.

"Yes, that is right," he stated, "And afterwards, Lord Lucifer and Lady Lilith were cast into the pit as punishment for creating it, as were all those in Heaven who sided with them."

"Wait..." Esther from her position on the floor next to her occult supplies and potions looked up, having heard this piece of information, "Does that mean there wasn't a huge rebellion against God?"

"It was less a rebellion and more a large protest that... may have somewhat gotten out of hand at the time," Abaddon admitted with an awkward wave of his hand.

"Oh, well, that's less impressive," Esther said, sounding legitimately disappointed, "And where'd all that stuff from before about a final war with Heaven come from?"

"Because we will have our unholy vengeance on those self-righteous fools for throwing us out!" Abaddon declared, trying to regain what he saw as the right attitude for the discussion.

"Fanatic," Loona scoffed, "Dude, hate to break it to you, but most demons don't even give a shit about Heaven, let alone going to war with them."

"What?!" Abaddon gave her a scandalized look.

"Yeah, I mean..." Millie spoke up with a nod, "Angels are assholes... especially cherubs," She stated with a slight annoyed mutter before giving a cough, "But outside of the yearly Extermination of Sinner souls, they don't really fuck with Hell or Hellborn."

"The yearly WHAT?!" Abaddon exclaimed, eyes popping open while everyone else looked at I.M.P. in shock.

"Oh, right... you wouldn't know about that," Moxxie said with a wince, "But yeah, a few years ago, Heaven started up this annual tradition of sending warrior angels down one day a year to kill Sinners to keep the population in check."

"Wait, how are they able to kill them if they're already dead?" Ben asked in confusion.

"Normally, Sinners can revive from any injury, even fatal ones," Moxxie explained, "But angelic steel weapons prevent that, and then the Sinners are just permanently gone."

Stunned silence momentarily filled the room, but was broken by Esther as she worked.

"Well, here's hoping Aunt Rose enjoys the next Extermination then," she said with a slight smirk, while Katherine sighed ,unsure of how to feel about how the idea of Rose getting killed in Hell by an angel actually made her happy. She didn't like to think herself a vindictive person, but no denying Aunt Rose had crossed so many lines that she was just done. Though she was brought out of her thoughts by Abaddon's next outburst.

"Why was this allowed?!" the demon in a boy demanded incredulously, "This is a clear attack by our heavenly enemies which weakens the forces of Hell!"

"We look like politicians to you?" Loona scoffed, "No one knows why Lucifer allowed it, but he did, and these days we just have to bunker down and hope that no overeager Exorcist angels decide to kill any Hellborn they see in addition to the Sinners."

Abaddon's eye twitched, with the Freelings giving him concerned looks as the normally stoic demon actually looked ready to have a breakdown.

"Uh... you doing okay there, buddy?" Ben asked nervously.

"No, I am not okay! Imps not knowing their place, Lucifer's child trying to pander to Heaven, angels killing demons at will... what has happened to Hell in my absence?! Nevermind a Goetia allowed use of his grimoire to an imp lover!" Abaddon exclaimed, remembering the comment about the imp leader dating a Goetia.

"We weren't dating! It was just a monthly booty call!" Blitzø called from across the room with an annoyed look, before seeming to focus back on his therapy session with Nathan.

"Oh, that's so much better," Abaddon said with a sarcastic droll before giving a sigh, "What's next, the Sins consorting with hellhounds and imps?" He asked, before spotting the remaining two imps and hellhound exchange looks.

"Actually..." Moxxie spoke up with a hesitant expression.

"No... no... NO!" Only for Abaddon to cut him off by raising his hand and taking a deep breath, "I'm done," He said with an expressionless face that screamed he was just done with life period, "If any of you need me, I'll be throwing myself into the jaws of the Memory Devourer so I can forget this horrible day."

"Oh no you don't," Katherine said, grabbing Abaddon by the collar as he tried to get back to the air vent and lifting him into the air.

"Release me, woman!" he demanded as he squirmed and dangled in her grip, to the amusement of the other demons in the room, "I demand that I be allowed to forget what a disgrace that Hell has allowed itself to become!"

"Oh, for- would you just calm down and suck it up?!" Katherine snapped, giving him a glare, "You sound like Aunt Rose! So Hell's changed the last few centuries, guess what, things change, it's a fact of life! You can either try to ignore it and complain about the good ol' days, or accept that maybe just maybe, that not all changes are bad," she said, taking a deep breath, "No matter how terrible it all seems at first," she softly muttered, thinking of her divorce, how she found out about Nathan's death, and inheriting the haunted hotel, "While putting on your big boy demon pants by showing you can not only handle hell no matter how much it's changed, but also help us handle that demon fish."

She said sternly, before arching a brow, "Unless the great Cobra King is really someone who takes the easy way out rather than face reality."

Abaddon stiffened at that, before glaring at Katherine, his ego clearly wounded by her words.

"How dare you?" he demanded, "Even if Hell has become completely unrecognizable, I am still Abaddon! Destroyer of all foes and crusher of souls!"

"Then prove it and help us fight that thing," Katherine said, dropping him to the floor.

 "Very well..." Abaddon said with a scowl, before looking thoughtful, "There might be a way we can trap it..." He mutter with a low frown, rubbing his chin, "Some fool in a suit arrived a good number of years ago in possession of a powerful artifact."

 "Oh yeah, I think I remember that guy," Annabelle said, "Wasn't he ranting about how he was some government agent who got fired, and he was going to prove his bosses wrong by capturing all the ghosts here on his own?"

"Yes, that was him," Abaddon said with a nod, while the I.M.P. members exchanged looks.

"Huh, sounds like those government creeps who caught you and Blitzø," Loona muttered to Moxxie, who nodded along.

"Yes, that does sound like them," he said, glancing to Abaddon, "You said that he had an artifact of some kind."

 "Indeed, a powerful spiritual gourd," Abaddon explained with a frown, "Capable of capturing demonic and spiritual energies within," he tapped his chin, "I believe it used to belong to the Gold and Silver demon brothers, actually... so not sure how that mortal got his hands on it."

He admitted, before giving a sour mutter, "Though knowing those fools, it's hardly a surprise they lost the gourd."

"And where's this gourd now?" Katherine asked, glad to hear that there was a possible solution to this problem at hand.

"Well, after Jessica attacked the fool while he was poking around in search of ghosts to catch, he ended up fleeing the building so quickly that he ended up leaving many of his belongings behind, including the gourd," Abaddon explained, "As I recall, the owner at the time put it all into storage in the basement."

"So all we got to do is make our way past that killer fish and whatever other surprises this place wants to hit us with," Loona surmised with a frown, before sighing, "Easy and simple."

"Maybe not, but these should help," Esther said as she stood up, revealing that she was now holding a set of bags, "Hex bags, guaranteed to hurt and drive off any demonic creatures they come in contact with. Hopefully this should be enough to give us an edge on that they."

"At this point I'm open to anything we can use," Katherine said with a sigh, taking one bag before sternly adding, "Though we're having a long chat on where you're getting this stuff later, young lady."

Esther rolled her eyes, not impressed by her mother's stern words.

"Sure thing, Mom," she said, as she started handing out hex bags to everyone, though the demons in the room eyed them warily.

"Um, is it safe for us to use these?" Moxxie asked, gingerly taking one between the tips of his fingers.

"As long as you don't let the contents get on you, sure," Esther replied with a shrug.

"Right..." Moxxie said warily, before looking at the gathered group, "Don't suppose anyone has any thought on a strategy of what to do if we encounter the Devourer before we reach the basement?"

"I say we just try to hold it off with these things and then make a run for it," Katherine said, hoisting a hex bag, before looking over to her brother and Blitzø, "Nathan, we're going to have to wrap that up. We need to get moving if we're going to deal with that thing."

"But we're really close to a breakthrough, sis," Nathan protested, with Katherine giving him an annoyed glare.

"Nathan! Killer memory eating fish demon, remember?" She told him sternly, causing a wince.

"Right, right, got to focus," he said, turning to Blitzø, "Sorry, but we're going to have to put a pin in this for now."

"Yeah, whatever," Blitzø said as he stood up, though his words lacked their usual sarcastic bite, "Huh, gotta say that I actually do feel a little better. Guess this therapy crap works better when you can't interrupt your therapist by shooting, stabbing, or fucking them."

"That's the spirit!" Nathan said happily, "And after we deal with that nasty fish, we can pick things up if you're up for it."

"Hmm... might just take you up on that offer," Blitzø muttered thoughtfully, to the shock of his adopted daughter and fellow imps, "Alright fam, I'm hungry for some action, so let's fish fry that fucker!"

Chapter Text

"Yeah, whatever," Blitzø said as he stood up, though his words lacked their usual sarcastic bite, "Huh, gotta say that I actually do feel a little better. Guess this therapy crap works better when you can't interrupt your therapist by shooting, stabbing, or fucking them."

"That's the spirit!" Nathan said happily, "And after we deal with that nasty fish, we can pick things up if you're up for it."

"Hmm... might just take you up on that offer," Blitzø muttered thoughtfully, to the shock of his adopted daughter and fellow imps, "Alright fam, I'm hungry for some action, so let's fish fry that fucker!"

 "Uh, yes sir," Moxxie said, sharing a look with Millie and Loona, who shrugged at him. After the breakdown they'd witnessed earlier, they weren't going to complain about seeing Blitzø back in a good mood, but it was still weird.

"So, which way to the basement?" Blitzø asked the Freelings as he snagged one of the hex bags for himself.

 "Just follow me... and everyone keep your eyes open," Nathan said with a smile, heading towards the doorway. Before pausing as he reached it and asking, "Ah, Esther? Can you open things up so that everyone can get out?"

"Got it, Uncle Nathan," Esther said, rushing over and brushing some of the salt aside. With the barrier thus gone, the demons were able to join the humans in following Nathan out of the room and down the hall, carefully looking around for the Memory Devourer.

"Alright, besides the fish, anything else we need to watch for?" Blitzø questioned with a scowl, "Moxxie almost got tentacle raped already," He added as Moxxie shot him an annoyed look.

"Thanks for reminding me, sir," the imp said flatly.

"Oh, Jessica wouldn't have done anything like that, she was just playing," Nathan said, which just got him a disbelieving look from Moxxie.

"Eh, as long as you avoid touching anything, I'd say your chances of getting cursed or maimed is pretty low," Esther said with a shrug.

"...And you people voluntarily live here?" Loona asked Katherine, who just sighed.

 "I inherited it from Nathan after he died, and with the divorce I wasn't looking at many options," she explained, "And as terrifying and aggravating as this place can be... well, it's become home."

"Hmph, guess I can understand that," Loona muttered, glancing to the imps, especially Blitzø. The man was a walking headache, but at the same time, the thought of not having him around wasn't something she wanted to even consider.

 "Any ideas where that fucker's gone to?" Millie questioned with a scowl as she carefully looked out toward the next corner, before pausing as tapping against glass was heard.

Tap

Tap

Tap

Causing the group to blink and look over to a nearby window, where a mailman was holding... a mannequin.

"Oooh, our package is here, Ben," Annabelle said happily with an excited clap.

 "Why did you order a mannequin?" Katherine asked, looking to her son in confusion.

"Hey, when you're dating a ghost, you have to try new stuff," Ben said defensively.

"...Wow, that therapy must actually be working, I don't even feel the need to make a joke about that," Blitzø commented, while glancing to the mailman, wondering if they'd have to kill the poor fucker to keep him from reacting to seeing demons...

"AHHH!"

...and then the matter was taken out of his hands as the Memory Devourer's lure suddenly dropped onto the mailman, pulling him up into the air as the demon fish started sucking his memories out.

"Shit! It's outside!" Millie exclaimed, dashing forward and bursting through the window. Emerging into the outside air, she turned to face the Devourer and threw a hex bag at it, causing it to burst against the fish's side.

FWOOSH

"RAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!"

Causing a small purple explosion that made the Devourer roar in pain and rear back.

"Fuck yeah! This stuff actually works!" Millie cheered in excitement, a part of her already wondering if they could take some of these supplies back with them, just to see Striker's smug face turn to pain the next time they saw that fucker.

 "Then let's fuck this bitch!" Blitzo laughed as he charged out the window, followed by Moxxie, Loona and Abaddon, hex bags soon flying at the Devourer, which dropped the mailman as it flailed about in the air, roaring in pain and anger.

"Try to corral it out here while we go for the basement!" Esther shouted to the demons from the window.

"Corral?" Blitzø smirked as he held up his gun and hex bag in separate hands, "Kid, we're going to make sushi out of this motherfucker!" He exclaimed out with a murderous excited grin.

"Loathe as I am to agree with the foul imp, I think we have this handled," Abaddon said, holding a hex bag in one hand and using the other to pull out a meat cleaver-shaped sword bigger than he was, "I normally save this for my battles with Mothman, but I think this is a special enough occasion to call for it."

 "Nice blade," Millie said with an appreciative whistle despite herself, while Blitzø scoffed.

"Well, look who's suddenly not too good to work with imps and the best hellhound this side of Pride," He said, shooting Abaddon a mocking smirk, "You think you can keep up with the adults, you baby old timer?"

 "Please, I simply don't want you simpletons to screw this up for the rest of us," Abaddon scoffed.

"Play nice, boys!" Nathan called out as the humans and ghosts resumed running for the basement.

 "You sure it's smart to leave Abaddon alone with that thing and the assassins that are here to kill Mom?" Esther asked with a worried frown to her family and brother's girlfriend.

"Ah Blitzø isn't that bad, I think we're making a connection," Nathan said with a grin.

"Plus, Abaddon's tough, we know he can take care of himself," Ben added, with his mother giving a nod.

"I'm more worried how we'll deal with those other demons after the fish is taken care of," Katherine muttered with a frown, "If it wasn't for the fact their boss was apparently going through a lot of issues, and Abaddon and everything about the hotel distracting them, then..."

She grimaced, "They might have realized they just need to take me off the property line to kill me to avoid me becoming a ghost."

Everyone grimaced at that, but Nathan quickly shook it off with a smile.

"Ah, I wouldn't worry about it," he said, "From the sound of it, they like Aunt Rose about as much as we do, and like I said, I think Blitzø and I really hashed out a connection. I'm sure we can talk them into just going home once this is all done."

"I really hope you're right," Katherine said with a sigh.

"Trust me, things will work out," Nathan said with a smile.

"Yeah, and if they make any trouble, I've still got some surprises we can use," Esther chimed in with a smirk, before frowning, "Honestly, I'm more worried about them taking Abaddon with them when they leave."

She admitted as Ben glanced over his shoulder.

"Something tells me... that won't be a problem," he said with a grimace as he heard the sounds of battle and cries echo behind them.

"Can't you imps aim?! And you call that a stab?! Did Hell call off their mandatory training too?!"

"Oh fuck off, you arrogant prick! I don't see you doing better with that butter knife of yours!"

"I have actually drawn blood, you low-class filth! You've barely annoyed it!"

"Please, I've seen Loona give deeper scratches than that when she forgets to cut her nails!"

"Can y'all focus more on killing the fish than each other!"

"He started it!"

"We don't care, sir! Just focus on fighting this thing!"

"...Yeah, I don't think they're going to be in a mood to do Abaddon any favors," Annabelle commented.

 "Which means combined with what he's learn of modern Hell, he's going to be in a mood for who knows how long when we do get rid of those other demons," Katherine sighed with a grimace, before shaking her head, "Whatever, we'll worry about him and those hit men demons later, let's just get that gourd and deal with that fish."

She said, with the others nodding as they headed off to the deeper parts of the hotel, while behind them a clash of demons ensued.

FWOOSH

FWOOSH

FWOOSH

BANG

BANG

BANG

SLING

SLING

SLING

"RAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!"

The Memory Devourer roared in pain as hex bags exploded against it, Blitzø and Moxxie fired at it from their guns, and Millie and Abaddon slashed at it with their weapons while Loona did the same with her claws.

 "Think we're really pissing it off now!" Loona called out with a slight smirk as she grabbed its lure between her jaws, causing a roar of fury.

"Ha! Of course we are~" Blitzø called out smugly, "This asshole ain't so tough once you got the right equipment for the job," he said, before adding with a smirk, "And baby, I always got the right equipment for the job~"

He quipped before firing his gun, firing a bullet right into the Devourer's eye, making it shriek and flail about.

"Must everything be a sex joke with you?" Abaddon sneered, while slashing at the Devourer's underside.

"It's a coping mechanism to handle stress!" Blitzø snapped, making his comrades pause and look at him in confusion.

"How much therapy did you get in just a few minutes with that guy?" Millie asked in disbelief.

 "Well, let's just say that ghost makes Sigmund Freud look like a cocksucking hack," Blitzø replied with a slight shrug.

"Nathan does have a way of getting people to open up... I honestly thought he was an agent of Heaven in disguise when I first met him," Abaddon stated bluntly, before giving an eye roll, "But I quickly realized even by angel standards, that mortal is ridiculously naive in believing the best of the worst," he added quite truthfully. Honestly, it was to the point that he believed if Satan himself rose up from the Earth to end the world, Nathan would invite him to lunch while trying to help him with his anger issues.

Though at that rather humorous image, his eyes went to his current foe, before widening as the Memory Devourer's lure raised up and started to glow with bright energy.

"Oh, that's not good," he said worriedly while leaping back.

"What's it doing?" Millie asked warily as Abaddon scowled.

"It's not just its ability to drain memories that makes a Memory Devourer dangerous..." he said as a fog started to form around them with shadowy silhouettes, "But using those very memories against more difficult prey."

 As they watched, the silhouettes solidified into transparent figures, dressed in clothes from all sorts of time periods, all staring blankly at the demons.

"Tsk, are we supposed to be scared of glorified polaroids?" Loona scoffed... only for the memory of a mobster to suddenly punch her in the face, knocking her back, "Ah! What the fuck?!"

"Obviously, they can physically interact with people, otherwise they wouldn't be a threat," Abaddon said as the memories advanced on them. With the demons' guards going up as they examined all the new figures, seeing not just humans but even blankly staring demons approaching.

"I suppose this is the part you all cowardly flee to save your own skins?" Abaddon stated with a scowl.

"Please..." Blitzø gave a scoff, shooting him a look, "I don't know what imps you were used to in the old days, but imps these days, especially I.M.P..." he smirked as he twirled his gun, "We don't run from a good fight!"

And at that exclamation, he opened fire at one mobster as he charged forward.

"Hell yeah!" Millie cried out, launching herself forward with a wide grin.

 Abaddon watched as they charged, while Moxxie opened fire on the mobster who had hit Loona and several other memories surrounding her, giving her an opening to recover and launch herself at the crowd.

"Hmph, at least you're not cowards," he muttered, before charging as well, slashing through several nearby memories and dissolving them into smoke.

And at that, a wave of carnage started. Millie dodged a hellhound lunging toward her, with her slashing down and beheading him, while Moxxie was shooting off the heads from a group charging forward... a group dressed in cultist robes.

"Suppose that might explain how the Devourer got on Earth," he muttered with a frown.

"Hmm, I didn't notice that when I first encountered it," Abaddon said as he cut through a mixed group of shark and goat demons, "It must have already fed on them before we crossed paths."

BANG

Blitzø stood over a man wearing a police uniform as he scoffed.

"Cultists? Urg, figures a group of cocksucker losers would be behind this asshole," he muttered, eyes rolling before stilling as he saw a particular figure approach, "Oh you got to be fucking kidding me... This fucker managed to nab a Goetia?!" he exclaimed in disbelief at seeing a figure with a heavy resemblance to Stolas' bitch of an ex-wife.

"Really?" Millie exclaimed, looking over as she finished bisecting a hiker, "Damn, that's actually kinda impressive."

"And now you know why Lady Leviathan had these vile beasts hunted down," Abaddon said, casually dodging a knife swing by a cultist before taking its head off.

"Um, these memories don't have access to things like the original's magic, do they? Because that could be problematic," Moxxie asked, reloading his gun before blasting away a succubus.

"Only in the case of particular old and powerful examples of the Memory Devourer species," Abaddon said while bisecting a woman in a wedding gown... oh yes, he'd forgotten a couple had arranged to have their wedding around the time he dealt with the Envy demon fish. He supposed this explained why the wedding was canceled... but at the time, the wedding cake made for a wonderful victory feast for his plan to trap the Devourer working.

And at those words, the Goetia's hands suddenly started to glow with energy.

"Of course..." Blitzø said with a sigh, "I fucking swear whatever that old hag is paying for this job isn't enough."

 He then had to leap aside to dodge as the Goetia thrust their hands out, launching a stream of red lightning in his direction.

BOOM

Exploding when it hit the spot where he'd just been standing.

Scrambling to his feet when he hit the ground, Blitzø spun around and shot his pistol directly at the Goetia's face, blowing its head off.

"Probably says something that that felt really good," he muttered as he watched the Goetia memory disappear into smoke, before shaking it off and getting back into the fight.

 "SCREEEEEEEEE!" Though as they all engaged with and slaughtered the phantom memory specters, the Memory Devourer wasn't to be left out of the fight. As it let out a furious screech and lunged its open jaws at its nearest prey.

"Oh shit!" Moxxie exclaimed as he saw the attack coming and leapt out of the way just in time to avoid being caught in the Devourer's jaws. However, it just shrieked and shifted to try and snap at him again.

"Hey! Hands off my man, bitch!" Millie yelled, leaping into the fray and thrusting her axe into the Devourer's mouth, ramming it into place to keep the jaws forced apart.

"Thanks, honey," Moxxie sighed with relief as the Devourer thrashed in an attempt to dislodge the axe from its mouth.

"Anytime, sweetie~" Millie said, kissing him on the cheek and making him blush before he brought his gun up and opened fire on the Devourer again.

FWOOSH

"Heads up!" Loona called, charging forward before leaping up and tossing a hex bag she still had right into the Memory Devourer's open jaws.

"RRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!" the Devourer roared as its insides lit up with purple flames. Thrashing about, it tried to float away from the demons, only for Abaddon and Blitzø to leap on top of it.

"Going somewhere, asshole?" Blitzo sneered, before jamming two guns hard against its skin and opening fire.

Abaddon, meanwhile, charged up the Devourer's back to reach its lure, and sliced hard through its base with his blade.

 "RAAAAAARRRGGG!" And at its cry of pain, the remaining phantom memories all turned toward the Memory Devourer. They surged towards it, clearly intent on protecting it from Blitzø and Abaddon.

"Oh no ya don't!" Millie exclaimed, pulling out a pair of Bowie knives and charging towards the phantoms alongside Loona, while Moxxie laid down cover fire with his gun.

Loona leapt at a phantom hellhound, overpowering them and biting down on their neck, wildly thrashing it around before lunging toward a human wearing a wedding groom suit.

Millie, meanwhile, delivered a high kick toward a man dressed as a farmer before stabbing down with the Bowie knives, and then dodging gunfire from phantom police officers.

PEW

PEW

Who had their guns shot out of their hands by Moxxie, allowing Millie to charge forward, gutting one as she stabbed them straight through the stomach, before lunging and landing on the other's shoulders and stabbing straight into its neck.

While Moxxie focused on making headshots among the phantom memories, with this being the scene the returning forms of the Freelings and ghosts arrived to.

"This is awesome!" Esther exclaimed excitedly as they all watched the battle unfold.

"Not exactly the word I'd use for it," Katherine muttered, wincing as she watched Loona pick up a phantom memory of the mailman from earlier and throw him at a tree hard enough to crack it.

"So, should we bother bringing this thing over, or let them keep going at it?" Ben asked, holding up the gourd he held in his hands, "I mean, they kinda seem like they're enjoying themselves fighting it."

"Yeah, plus this is better than an action movie," Esther said with a wide grin, before groaning and facepalming, "Urg, I should have remembered to take that camera so I could record all this," she said, kicking herself while her family gave her looks.

"Have to admit, they seem to have this handled," Nathan admitted, rubbing his chin with a slight smile, "Plus, maybe this might be healthy for Blitzø to vent," he added, Katherine giving her brother an incredulous look.

"You're really taking this therapist thing a little too seriously, you know that?" she said, with Nathan shrugging.

"Hey, might not have a degree, but I love to listen and help," he said, before gesturing at the battle and carnage, "Besides, what's the worst that could happen by letting this play out?" he asked, before wincing as a roar filled the air.

"SCREEEEEEEEE!" As at that question, the Memory Devourer let out another cry of fury as it crashed through several trees in an attempt to get Blitzø and Abaddon off its back, causing a group wince.

"The hotel property getting destroyed, for starters!" Katherine exclaimed, before Annabelle called out, "Look out!" Before jumping in front of Ben to kick the memory phantom of Randy as it attempted to tackle Ben, with it actually letting out a shrill squeal of pain as it fell to the ground.

"Hey, you were actually able to hit it!" Ben noted in fascination, Annabelle blinking in surprise as she realized what she'd just done.

"Huh, guess these things are close enough to being ghosts that we can interact," she mused, before looking down at the Randy phantom as it started to get back up and kicking it again for good measure, this time in the face and knocking it on its back.

"And they can grab all of us, so let's end this already before we get hurt or the hotel gets damaged!" Katherine declared.

"Right," Ben said, giving his mother a nod before calling out, "Guys, we're here with the gourd!" He called out, getting the demons' attention, "Um... only..." Ben glanced down with a slight confused expression, "How do we use it?" He questioned as Esther facepalmed next to him.

"Oh for... uncork and point, you dummy!" she snapped, before grabbing it from him, "Never mind, I'll do it! Abaddon, other demons, get out of the way!"

"You heard the kid, fam, move it!" Blitzø yelled to his team, leaping off of the Memory Devourer's back with Abaddon in tow, and rushing to put distance between them. The rest of I.M.P. moved to do the same, Millie jumping up to grab her axe and yank it out of the Devourer's mouth before running after the others.

As the Devourer roared in rage and pain, Esther yanked the cork out of the gourd and pointed it in the direction of the demon fish. In response, a beam of bright light shot out of the gourd and flew across the air to slam into the beast. Causing it to let out a screech, while the phantom memories started to spazz and fizzle away as everyone watched in awe.

"Wow, now that's some grade-A Ghostbusters shit there," Blitzø said with a wide grin, watching the fish fucker getting sucked up before noticing the looks from his employees and daughter, "What? I don't just watch porn, you know!" he exclaimed defensively.

Meanwhile, the Memory Devourer was still being dragged across the ground as it was sucked towards the gourd. When it was almost right on top of the Freelings, it gave one final roar before collapsing into balls of light and sucked into the gourd. Once they were all inside it, Esther slammed the cork back into place, which caused the phantom memories to dissolve into smoke, most of it dissipating but some flying back into the hotel.

Though Katherine noticed one flying into the mailman as he thankfully gave a groan, meaning he was alive.

"Here's hoping that doesn't turn into a lawsuit," she muttered, shaking her head.

(Inside hotel)

"Who am... I?" Randy asked himself, looking into a mirror before he was hit by a small surge of energy, "Wait, I remember... I remember everything!" Randy exclaimed excitedly, "I remember my life, and I remember how I died..." his joyous tone trailed off as his smile fell, "As a virgin... by tripping and breaking my neck..." he said, standing silently for a moment before giving off a groan of despair, "Fuck!'

Slumping, Randy wandered off down the hallways.

(Outside)

"So, we done with that fish fuck?" Blitzø asked as the demons approached the Freelings.

"Yep. The way these things work, it can't get out again unless the person opening it wants it to, right?" Esther said, before asking the last bit of Abaddon, who nodded.

"Indeed. It will now rot in there until Judgement Day... assuming that ever happens at this point," Abaddon said, muttering the last bit to himself.

 "Oh, just get over it," Millie said with an eye roll, "You don't see the rest of us moping about there not being some big war with Heaven," she added, before turning to Blitzø, ignoring Abaddon's glare, "So, what now, Blitzø?"

 "We do still have a job to do," Moxxie added with his own frown.

"Even if the client's a complete bitch," Loona muttered with a scowl.

Blitzø absently chewed on his lip as he considered things, glancing at the Freelings as they tensed up from the others' words. He knew logically that he should just focus on getting the job done... but a part of him had to admit that it didn't like the idea of repaying Nathan's kindness in such a way, when he'd done him such a solid by actually helping him cope with all his bullshit emotions.

However, before he could make up his mind, Esther spoke up.

"How about a bribe?" she asked. As everyone blinked and looked at her, she shrugged and said, "Now that that thing's gone, we can check out the Forbidden Wing and find what those mobsters Abaddon used as bait were trying to hide, and if it's valuable, we can split it with you. Considering what Aunt Rose is like, it'd probably be more than whatever she was planning to pay you."

 The members of I.M.P exchanged thoughtful looks at the kid's offer.

"And just to sweeten the deal," Esther held up the gourd with a smirk, "I'll throw this in as a bonus. It's a fancy paperweight and a powerful artifact that you can use to trap your enemies in for all eternity."

She said before giving a shrug, "Plus, if that fish is really that rare, maybe you could sell it on some demon black market or something."

 "Hmm, that's not a bad offer, kid," Blitzø mused, stroking his chin in thought before shrugging, "Ah, fuck it. This has been as far as possible from a normal job, might as well end it differently too. You got a deal."

The Freelings all slumped in relief at that, though Ben felt the need to lean over to his sister and whisper, "But, uh, what if there's not really anything valuable to split with them?"

"Shush, don't jinx it," Esther whispered back to him as the combined groups walked back into the hotel and made their way towards the Forbidden Wing.

After a moment, though, Nathan stuck his head back out through a wall.

"It's all over, everyone, you can head back inside!" he called out to any of the ghosts hiding outside.

 "Candles?" Called out Candlehead as he poked his head up from a bush.

"Thank goodness, I thought we'd have to make a new life outside," the World War I pilot said with a sigh.

"Stabby Paul enjoyed the fight though," said Stabby Paul as he phased through a tree, before pausing as he heard a groan, causing him to look down at the form of the mailman laying on the ground.

"Where...? Urg!" With the man pushing himself up weakly, before a tree branch above him suddenly cracked and fell on top of his head.

There was an awkward moment of silence after that, and then the mailman stood back up, rubbing his head.

"Ugh, man, that smarts. Guess I should be lucky it didn't hurt me more," he muttered.

"Actually, it did," Stabby Paul spoke up, gesturing down to where the mailman was currently standing on top of his own body, his ghostly legs sticking into it.

"Oh... oh," the mailman paused, looking at his body before giving a groan, "Dammit... I knew taking this delivery route would bite me in the ass one day," he said, giving a sigh, "Don't suppose there's perks or silver lining to this?"

"Eh, it all depends on how you look at it, my friend," the WWI pilot said, patting the mailman on his shoulder, "What's say we head down to the bar in the basement and talk things over?"

"Eh, as good a way to start the afterlife as any, I suppose," the mailman said, giving a shrug before moving to follow his fellow ghosts while internally hoping ghosts could get drunk.

(Forbidden Wing)

"You know, now that the fish demon is gone, I see a lot of potential in the no-longer-forbidden wing, name pending," Nathan mused as they walked through the dark halls, "Some lights, fresh paint, and few repairs, and we can really make this place shine just as brightly as the rest of the hotel."

"Great. A whole other wing to take care of that no one will be checking into," Katherine muttered halfheartedly, though she had to admit that she could kinda see Nathan's point. The hall did look pretty good without the threat of getting their brains sucked out hanging over them.

"Yeah, that's great," Blitzø cut in, sounding very disinterested, before glancing at Abaddon, "So, where're the goods at?"

"How should I know? I did not follow the fools in here when they were hiding their items," Abaddon scoffed, "I waited and watched outside until they were in and the Memory Devourer went after them, then I sealed it."

"Ugh, great, so we have to search the whole place," Blitzø grumbled, while Loona sniffed the air.

"Hang on, I think I got something," she said, "The air's weird in here, but I can still pick up faint scents of rot. Could be the bodies of anyone who died in here once that thing was done with them."

"That's my girl! Let's get paid and go tell that old bitch she can fuck herself," Blitzø said with a wide eager grin, while Loona rolled her eyes but gave a soft smile, choosing to take the praise as she followed the scent, until...

"Geeze, that fish really did number on these guys," Esther muttered as they came to a knocked down door, and inside was a torn to shreds room, and pieces of skeletons, along with torn pieces of clothing.

"More than likely, once it was done taking their memories and with no new prey to sustain it, it turned to feeding on their flesh," Abaddon mused, before adding, "Also, I lay claim to these bones."

"Why would you even want... never mind, I don't want to know," Katherine asked, before cutting herself off with a sigh, "So, where are the boxes they brought with them?"

Loona sniffed the air before the bed, "I think..." She grunted as she started to lift up the torn-up bed frame, "It's under the bed," she said with a scowl as the others moved to help her, and a few minutes later they were standing over four boxes.

"Under the bed... can you get anymore cliche?" Esther asked with a roll of her eyes.

"Who cares? Let's bust these bad boys open," Blitzø said, grabbing one of the boxes and jabbing a knife into its cover to yank it open. Pulling it open, everyone's eyes widened as they were greeted by the sight of dozens of stacked bars of gold.

"Holy shit!" Katherine exclaimed without thinking, everyone looking at each other before scrambling to open the other three boxes, revealing each was likewise full of gold.

 "What the fuck did these guys do, rob Fort Knox?!" Esther exclaimed, sharing her mother's shock, and the fact that Katherine didn't even glare at her for her language said a lot of how stunned she was.

"So... this cover the whole not killing us fee?" Ben questioned as he and Annabelle looked at all the gold wide-eyed.

 "Um, uh... Moxxie? You're the numbers guy," Blitzø stammered in shock, glancing at his equally shocked coworker, "Will us getting half of this cover all the debts my dumb ass has been racking up lately?"

"Honestly sir, I think it will not only get us out of debt, but make it so that we won't have to actually work for years," Moxxie said, stunned, all his worries about their finances from this morning immediately wiped away by the sight.

 "Holy... shit," Blitzø said slowly, before smiling widely, "Finally! Something going my way for once!"

Laughing happily, he jumped up and started skipping happily around the room, grabbing Loona and dragging her with him in a makeshift dance. It said something about how equally excited the hellhound was that she didn't protest her adopted father's antics for once.

"Well, great doing business with you folks, but we need to get our cut back to Hell so we can go celebrate and tell that bitch aunt of yours to fuck off!" Blitzø said after a moment, letting go of Loona and walking over to snatch the gourd from Esther.

"You do that, and if you can make sure she doesn't try to hire some other demons to come after us, that'd be great," Katherine said with a sigh. Honestly, at this point she didn't care what happened to Rose, only that those who were her actually family were safe.

"No problem," Blitzø said, waving her off before turning to his team, "Okay guys, grab two of those boxes, and let's head back to the office!"

"Wait! Shouldn't we schedule our next therapy session before you go?" Nathan asked, making Blitzø blink in surprise. Before he could respond, however, Abaddon spoke up.

"Never mind that! All that matters is that it's time for me return in triumph to my rightful place in Hell and restore it to its correct path!" he declared.

The Freelings looked at him concern, none of them happy at the thought of him leaving, while I.M.P. stared at him flatly before exchanging looks.

"Right, let me get right on that... Holy crap, it's Jesus!" Blitzø started to say, only to scream while pointing behind Abaddon with a shocked look on his face.

"Where?!" Abaddon exclaimed, spinning around with his blade drawn, only to blink as he found himself staring at empty air. And while he was distracted, Blitzø moved quickly to open a portal underneath two of the boxes of gold, letting them drop into Hell.

"Go, go, go!" Blitzø yelled at his team, who quickly jumped into the portal. By the time Abaddon turned back around, it was just in time to see Blitzø jumping into the portal while flipping him the bird with both hands, "Sayonara, douchebag!"

With that, he fell into the portal, which disappeared behind him.

...

...

...

"Dammit!" Abaddon screamed, punching a wall in frustration.

 "Dude, I can't believe you fell for the look behind you trick," Esther stated, clicking her tongue in disappointment as Abaddon gave her a glare.

"Oh chin up, so you're stuck on Earth, it doesn't sound like you're missing much. Besides..." she gave an eager greedy smile to the suitcases, "We're filthy stinking rich now, baby!" she celebrated actually giving a little giggle.

"Don't celebrate too much, some of this is going to yours and Ben's college fund," Before her mother's voice stopped her, "Besides, since this gold was no doubt stolen, and it's all gold bars, we kinda need to figure out how we can legally even use this," Katherine added with a frown at the boxes, "Also, considering our luck, we should make sure this isn't cursed gold."

 "Ugh, fine," Esther grumbled, "I'll look at my spell books for ways to check this stuff for any curses or hexes on it."

"Good, but in the meantime, no one touches it," Katherine said firmly, getting sounds of agreement, "Now, let's go get everything cleaned up."

"You do that. I must plot my revenge on those impudent imps!" Abaddon declared, making everyone roll their eyes.

"How about we just get you some Fruit Loops, buddy?" Nathan suggested.

"...Fine," Abaddon muttered, "But mark my words, the time will come when I not only make those fools regret they ever heard the name Abaddon, but when I return to Hell I will set right the many things that have apparently gone wrong in my absence!"

He said, skulking on ahead to the kitchen, leaving the others silent for a moment.

"And people say I'm dramatic," Annabelle muttered with a frown.

"Ehh, give him some time to sulk and he'll be back to his usual demonic self in no time," Ben said with a wave of his hand as the group headed off.

"So..." Nathan gave his sister a smug smirk, "How do you think Aunt Rose is going to take knowing that her revenge plan only helped us get rid of a nasty problem, but find a fortune to boot?" He asked as Katherine rolled her eyes.

"Knowing her, she's probably tearing into those four and blaming anyone but herself," she said with a snort, "I just hope that she won't cause us anymore problems from beyond the grave," she said with a sour mutter, before Esther let out a laugh.

"Oh, don't worry, if all goes to plan and it will, she won't be causing anyone anymore grief," she said smugly, prompting confused expressions from the others.

"What do you mean?" Ben asked curiously despite himself.

"I didn't just give them that gourd as extra incentive to leave Mom and the rest of us alone," Esther explained, rubbing her hands together with a devious smirk, "I know how Aunt Rose thinks, and she's probably sealing her own fate as we speak~" She said with an evil chuckle, causing the others to exchange looks before realization entered their eyes.

(Back in Hell)

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU CALLED OFF THE HIT?! HOW INCOMPETENT DO YOU FREAKS HAVE TO BE?!"

 I.M.P. all winced at Rose's scream as they stood back in their office, Loona in particular having to fold her ears back.

"Lady, if you had warned us about how much of a fucking freakshow that hotel was, we could have been prepared for it, instead of having to fight a memory-eating fish monster," Blitzø snapped, making Rose blink in confusion, "Besides, your family bribed us with way more than you're paying, so we didn't really have reason to keep the contract."

"What are you talking about? Those idiots are broke! I should know, because I specifically didn't leave them anything in my will!" Rose snapped.

"Yeah, but we accidentally helped them find a fortune, and they gave us half of it," Millie said, kicking one of the boxes over to reveal the gold within, making Rose's eyes bulge out in surprise.

 "I... you..." Rose's jaw dropped, and her mind raced as she saw more wealth than she'd ever seen, but still barely processed what they said, with her shock soon joined by overwhelming wrath and envy, "You mean..."

She started breathing heavily, glaring murder at these incompetent morons, "You not only screw up the job I hired you for... BUT YOU FUCKING MADE THEM RICH IN THE PROCESS?!"

She screamed angrily and incredulously as Blitzø rolled his eyes, before pausing as he saw the door to his office open... and stiffening when he saw the torn up and broken contents inside.

"You stupid, incompetent, hideous... sellouts! You're all a disgrace to demons and assassins everywhere!" Rose screamed, "When I'm done, everyone everywhere is going to know how pathetic you are, and you'll never get another client as long as you live!"

"Yeah, that's great, Karen," Blitzø said flatly, his team looking at him nervously as they picked up the tense anger in his voice, "But quick question before you do that... what happened to my office?"

"You left me here all day while you were fucking around up on Earth with nothing to do, can you blame me for getting bored and poking around?" Rose snapped, "And considering how badly you fucked up the job, you can't be mad that I decided to toss out your garbage while I was at it!"

 "My... garbage...?" Blitzø repeated stoically, his eye twitching, with his team looking even more nervous.

"Yeah, and what kind of pathetic loser do you have to be to collect so much horse junk?" Rose added with disdain, "I know this is Hell, but can't you at least try to have some good taste?"

She added, sneering and not noticing Blitzø's grip on the gourd tighten.

 "I mean, if you're going to keep this mutt around, you should at least have some dog stuff put up, even that would be higher class than that horse crap!" Rose continued, Loona snarling at her while the imps all glared, "And another thing-!"

FWOOSH

"What the-?! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Rose was cut off as Blitzø uncorked the gourd and zapped her with it, the Sinner quickly dissolving and getting sucked into it, Blitzo slamming the cork back into place with a firm jab.

 "Sweet fuck, that has to be the most annoying bitch I've ever met!" he blurted out with a groan, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah, even by Sinner standards, that woman was most unpleasant," Moxxie agreed with his own scowl.

"Well, she's the fish's problem now," Loona scoffed with an amused smirk, personally hoping that hag's roommate was giving her a warm welcome.

"Yeah, got to admit, that thing's pretty handy," Millie added with an arched brow to the gourd, "Just picture us pulling it out on Striker or those Cherub assholes next time we see those fuckers."

 "Oh yeah, we're going to get a lot of fun out of this bad boy~" Blitzø chuckled, before frowning and looking at his office, "But first thing's first, I've got to go clean up the mess that bitch made of my office. You guys find someplace safe to stash the gold until we can get it deposited in the meantime."

 "But after that..." He shot them a wide smirk, "I don't know about you all, but I'm finally in the mood to celebrate again!" He declared, grinning wide, "Because we not only once again proved we're the baddest motherfuckers around, and even gave an old has-been douchebag the middle finger, but we're as fucking rich as those stuck-up Goetia!"

 "Fine by me, sir," Moxxie said with a smile, before pausing and glancing at the others before asking, "But, um... any chance you're going to look into more therapy?"

Blitzø paused at that and looked to the others, who squirmed awkwardly under his gaze.

"It's just, well..." Moxxie stammered for an answer, but Millie quickly picked up for him.

"It sounds like that ghost guy did actually help you out a bit," she explained.

Blitzø paused for a moment, before giving a sigh.

"I'll admit... I actually did feel better after talking and unloading some of my crap onto him. So... I guess it wouldn't hurt to keep it up," he said, making everyone sigh in relief.

"Thank Satan for that," Loona said, "Now we don't have to worry about you wasting all this new money on more useless crap."

"I still say those horse plates were worthwhile collectables," Blitzø said defensively, before awkwardly shrugging and adding, "But, uh, see if Wally will refund us on however many of those wooden owls you haven't burned for me yet."

 "Which reminds me..." Loona gave him a glare, "Ever make me do anything like that again, and I don't care how much therapy you need, I'm kicking your ass!" She growled, with Blitzø giving a nervous chuckle.

"Hehe, perfectly fair, Loons," Blitzø said with a strained smile before coughing, "But don't worry, with this loot and my new living-impaired therapist, things are looking good for I.M.P.!"

 They all smiled at that, the good mood infectious as it really settled in that for once they were coming out of something on top.

 (A Few Months Later)

"So, how have you been since our last session?" Nathan asked from a chair while looking at a figure lounging on the couch.

"Actually not bad... been feeling a lot better about myself, and really started to talk more with Fizz," Blitzø said, leaning back on the couch. As he'd said he would, he'd been revisiting the Undervale once a week to talk to Nathan and continue their discussions about his problems, and it was actually working out pretty well for him.

 Of course, there was that douchebag elitist who always attacked him or kept trying to use him to get back into Hell, but in all honesty, messing with that fucker was becoming a perk of the visits.

Plus, all things said for humans, the Freelings were growing on him. Sure, Katherine could have a stick up her ass a lot of the time, and Ben still wouldn't give him any tips on how to fuck a ghost, but he could still hold a more decent conversation with them than with most people in Hell outside his team. As for Esther... honestly, she was a lot of fun to chat with about the paranormal or about jobs he'd pulled, which she showed a morbid obsession with at times. He was pretty convinced at this point that if she did end up in Hell, she'd become an Overlord of renown even faster than that creepy radio fucker.

Put that with how he'd been feeling better than he had in years thanks to Nathan's therapy sessions, and he could safely say he was growing to love the new status quo his life was getting into. The fact they didn't have to worry about money anytime soon didn't hurt either~

Hell, they'd even been able to start being more picky about what jobs they took, so that they were only targeting assholes on Earth who actually deserved it, rather than going after any poor soul up there who some Sinner had a grudge against. Which had a side effect of making him feel even better, since he didn't have to worry about brushing off any occasional guilt.

So, altogether, he'd say life was going better than it had been in years, and he said as much to his ghost therapist.

"That's good to hear," Nathan said with a nod, "And how about those exercises we've talked about?"

"Yeah, I've written those letters to my sister and Stolas but haven't actually mailed them, like you said," Blitzø said with a nod, "Putting stuff into words isn't exactly my best talent, but you're right, getting that stuff out of my head in any shape or form is actually helping to keep it from overwhelming me all the time. I've also apologized to Moxxie and Millie for not respecting their boundaries, and been working on bonding more with Loona while also giving her space to breathe."

"Glad to hear it!" Nathan said cheerfully, before giving a sad smile, "And have you been to visit your mother's grave?"

"Ah... no, not yet," Blitzo said with a wince, fiddling with the locket around his neck, "I know I need the closure... but I can't bring myself to face that just yet."

"That's perfectly understandable," Nathan reassured with a gentle look, "You've made amazing progress, but these things do take time, and there's no shame in pacing yourself till you feel you're truly ready."

He added as Blitzø shot him a thankful look.

"Thanks, doc," he said with a chuckle as he sat up, "But other than that, I'd say things are going well," he said, before arching a brow, "What about you lot? Anything new with you?

"Well, I'd say things are going pretty good, all things considered," Nathan said happily, "Katherine's a lot less worried about keeping the hotel running ever since we figured out how to deposit our share of the gold; even with the taxes paid off on it, we've still got all we'll need for years."

"And no mobster ghosts have showed up to complain about you spending their loot?" Blitzø asked in amusement.

"Actually, they did, but since they can't do anything about it, it's not an issue," Nathan said with a shrug, "That, and while they won't admit it, I think they're just grateful that we avenged them by dealing with that fish."

"Which reminds me..." Nathan shot him a slight smirk, "Thanks again for dealing with Aunt Rose for us," he said, with Blitzø giving a snort, "You kidding? It was a pleasure. Honestly, that woman was probably a bigger bitch than Stolas' ex-wife, and I didn't think that was possible."

He said with an eye roll before he stood with a stretch.

"But best be heading out, just got to find Loona," Blitzø said, giving a snort, "Honestly, the way Esther hangs off her, I'm not sure if the kid just sees her as a cool older sister figure or has a crush."

"Wouldn't surprise me, though between us I always thought she might have a thing for Abaddon," Nathan replied as he also stood up, "Then again, it could just be the cool demon aspect appealing to her."

"Yeah, well, my girl's definitely cooler than that prick," Blitzø said as he walked to the door and opened it to step out into the hallway... and immediately jumped back to avoid a net being dropped onto him, "Speaking of which, you'll have to do better than that, asshole!"

"I have been defied long enough, imp!" Abaddon snapped from his spot clinging to the ceiling, "You shall return me to my rightful place in Hell this day!"

"Yeah, no," Blitzø replied, casually picking up the net and throwing it up at Abaddon before he could react. The older demon yelled as the net wrapped around him, causing him to fall to the floor with a thud.

"Curse you!" Abaddon screamed as he thrashed in the net.

"Yeah, yeah, curse me and my descendants who will know only eternal suffering," Blitzø said with an eye roll, before giving him a mocking smirk, "You really need to get some new material, buddy, your threats are so outdated it's just sad."

He said with a chuckle as he moved to walk away, with Abaddon giving a glare as Nathan sighed, "Really wish you two would give those trust exercises I suggested a chance, I really think you could become friends if you give it a chance."

"I will never be friends with this lowly, disrespectful filth!" Abaddon declared, "And before you call me out on my so-called racism again, it is not because he is an imp, it is because he is of a lower class than me and must therefore obey me, yet he does not!"

"Okay, so it's not racism, just classism," Nathan sighed, "That's still bad, but I think we can work with it, given time."

 "I'd sooner take part in the Princess's insulting foolishness and dine in the halls of Heaven!" Abaddon snapped as Blitzø walked off with a whistle. He had money, he had his family, friends new and old, and he was feeling better than he had in so long... oh yes, Blitzø could safely say nothing could spoil his good mood.

 "AAHHHH!!!"

That being said, suddenly hearing screams did make him pause. However, since he'd learned this wasn't out of the ordinary for the Undervale, he just shrugged and decided to investigate.

Entering the foyer, he paused and arched an eyebrow as he saw Jessica was flinging two figures around. Two very familiar figures, in fact.

"Isn't that those two government assholes?" he asked the nearby Loona, who along with Esther was eating popcorn as they and an exasperated Katherine were watching the show.

"Yep," Loona said with a smirk, watching Agents One and Two get slammed back and forth against the walls, "They showed up a few minutes ago and were bugging Katherine with all this legal babble about warrants and eminent domain, and then Jessica got their asses."

 Loona gave a chuckle, "And guess who they brought as backup?" she added, pointing outside through the window, with Blitzø blinking before smirking wide as he saw those three cherub fuckers screaming their lungs out while trying to avoid getting slaughtered by that Mothman he'd seen that prick Abaddon fight a time or two during his visits.

"Well, that explains how they got into Hell that time, if they're working with these assholes," Blitzo scoffed, "I guess we should probably deal with them... but, we can probably wait until they're done getting a taste of the local bullshit."

"Any chance I could keep one as a pet?" Esther asked, to which Katherine snorted.

"After your last pet bodyjacked your brother and your school, not happening young lady," she said, giving her daughter a stern glare, causing Esther to groan while Loona held out some popcorn for Blitzø as the imp got comfortable watching the show.

 Yeah, he could admit... life was good.