Chapter Text
She languidly woke, appreciating her ability to inhale deeply without the rolling ache of fatigue or a sharp stab of pain. Discomfort wasn’t the only thing she noticed lacking as she stretched her muscles carefully and blinked her eyes to alertness. If she was honest, Zapheri was mildly surprised that she didn’t wake up shackled to the medical bed, a future Imperial prisoner accused of covert dealings with a Ralltiiri assassin.
Perhaps Thrawn hadn’t assembled all his evidence, yet.
As if her mere thought of him summoned the Grand Admiral, the door opened and in strode the Chiss followed closely by Commander Cidrew, the Chimaera’s Chief Medical Officer. Thrawn’s expressionlessness faltered slightly as his red eyes took her in quickly, nodding to her in an abbreviated acknowledgement. The balding Commander on the other hand, grinned at her and immediately approached to observe the monitors above her bed.
“Teela, it’s always good to see you.” The medic eyed her carefully, “But honestly you don’t have to get into so much trouble to excuse your visits to me.”
Zapheri snorted “You caught me, Horis.”
“Technically that’s ‘Commander’ to you Lieutenant, but I’ll let it slide since you and the Grand Admiral apparently had a rough time at the Governor’s Ball.”
She smiled softly, her eyes flicking carefully to Thrawn who remained motionlessly observant near the door, “It’s nothing we’re not used to.”
Cidrew murmured his agreement and proceeded to ask after her general health and inquired how her new wounds felt given, she’d been unconsciously floating in a bacta tank for the previous twelve hours. Momentarily taken aback by the lapse in time, she admitted that she felt well and ready to return to service.
“There’s no permanent damage done to your heart, your new wound is clean and won’t scar since you’ve responded so well to the bacta. I don’t see why you can’t return to your normal duties tomorrow.” The CMO smiled at her but nodded briefly to the silent blue thundercloud. “I’m officially discharging her from my care, Grand Admiral.”
“Good.” Thrawn nodded once, still impassive but his gaze bore into her face before he turned to leave, “Zapheri, you will meet me in my office at 0700 for debrief.”
Great.
This time aboard ship was always tumultuous with shift turnover, so he expected her to use that excuse for her usual tardiness. To his mild surprise she requested entrance from the door guard at exactly 0700 hours and stepped into the foyer shortly thereafter. In hindsight this should have been an indicator – Teela Zapheri was very rarely on time.
Thrawn called to her from the dojo where he’d been finishing up his daily ritual of tweaking one of the droids. She slowly entered the brightly lit open space and casually leaned against the door, crossing her arms over her chest as she cocked her head at him. “You requested to see me at oh seven hundred?”
The Grand Admiral set aside his servo wrench, wiped his hands with a mechanic’s rag and nodded once. “I did.”
There was a long silence while the Chiss studied her immobile form and unreadable features. Usually if he waited long enough, Teela would eventually disturb the tranquility through speech or action, but she remained obstinately quiet and still. Thrawn found he had little patience for her stubbornness. He inhaled deeply and picked up one of the metal staves she had a history of favoring.
“I believe you will need this.” He handed her the weapon, but she didn’t take it immediately.
“I prefer batons now.”
Thrawn’s red gaze seemed to flash in disapproval prompting Zapheri to finally reach out and take the staff while keeping her own eyes on the Grand Admiral. The Chiss felt his lips quirk up as she slowly unfurled herself from her casual position. Despite her almost automatic physical response, Teela shook her head. “I don’t want to fight.”
He turned quickly to heft his own staff, “Isihawu. Bengicabanga ukuthi uyihlongandlebe?” {A pity. I thought you were a rebel?- Sy Bisti}
Teela huffed in annoyance, “I don’t want to do this.”
“Do what, Zapheri? Protect yourself? I cannot always be near to do so.”
Her nostrils flared and she clamped down on her anger. “I’m more than capable of protecting myself.”
“Show me.”
“I don’t need to show you any-“
He suddenly lunged, interrupting her tirade and sliding his staff around toward her left side to goad her into action. Teela growled something inaudible and shifted naturally into a crouch with her own weapon at a defensive angle.
Thrawn stepped to her right and used a two-pronged jab to jar her from her cautious stance, smiling tightly as she tried to sweep his leg. The Grand Admiral considered informing her that Malastaja had swept his leg without issue, but decided it would likely lead to more violence than he was interested in.
As if she knew exactly what he was contemplating, Zapheri snarled and slammed her weapon down against his, forcing him against the wall. “I am not your toy, Grand Admiral.”
“No, you are not.” The sound of metal grating on metal, caused Thrawn to grit his teeth. “You are my aide-de-camp.”
Zapheri suddenly shifted, using the Grand Admiral’s forward momentum to slide her staff against his, twirling out from under his attack. Thrawn straightened and turned in time to see her throw her the metal rod down onto the mat of the dojo. “Not anymore.”
He advanced toward her, seething at her insolence, using his own weapon to pinion her to the wall. She made to grab for It, but he twisted it down and away from her grasp, pressing his knee between her thighs. It was clear that Zapheri was overpowered by the Chiss looming menacingly before her but she refused to capitulate. She defiantly lifted her chin and glared at the Grand Admiral who barked his frustration at her.
“It is unlike you to be so foolish, Zapheri. I should hope you have learned a lesson and I will not need to rescue you from your own short-sightedness.”
The curse that left her snarling lips had him enraged and he flung his own staff down to step fully into her. Despite his frustration, he gently wrapped his hand around her throat resting it there to feel the flutter of her heart – it was both a warning and a promise, intimate and threatening all at once and it prompted her to still with uncertainty.
“You are mine to protect.” He growled at her confusion. “Okwami” {Mine – Sy Bisti}.
He felt the human woman tremble under his grip, and he bent his face down to inhale the familiar scent of moonflowers. The Grand Admiral’s self-control shattered into jagged shards of possessiveness as he pressed his lips to her neck, kissing and nipping at her. Her response was immediate and to his great relief, enthusiastic.
Perhaps he should have known better
Teela’s arms circled him as he cupped her backside, pushing forward against the familiar soft heat. The sounds she made as he moved against her made him hard with want. He had denied himself for so long, he was nearly unthinking when he pulled at her dress. Strangely it was the same design that she had worn to the Governor’s Ball.
He should have known then.
The beads gave away easily as he ripped it from her while she enthusiastically arched into him, moaning when he pressed his lips to the space between her breasts. There was no angry redness; nothing to indicate her skin had been burned by an assassin’s device.
Thrawn felt her confidently press at the front of his pants, felt her grasp him perfectly.
He really should have known.
The Grand Admiral growled as he thrust himself into her fiercely. “Ungowami.” {You belong to me. – Sy Bisti}
Her murmured agreement sent him into further frenzy, and he felt his release near. He hissed a curse upon waking to his still-hard erection in hand and a mess on his stomach. He really should have known…
She was certain that the silently judgmental stormtrooper acting as door guard to the Grand Admiral’s office did a full cost/benefit analysis. He opted to side-eye her covertly, an impressive feat given his helmet, in lieu of critiquing her on her tardiness, likely deciding it wasn’t worth the apparent eight-minute lapse in Imperial decorum. Teela smiled despite the guard’s jerky motion upon informing Thrawn that his aide had finally shown up. The door opened and she entered, casually walking through the foyer as if strolling about a museum display.
The Chiss sat at his desk, his hands steepled before him as he watched her entry. Although she was determined to avoid emotional entanglements with the Grand Admiral during her temporary employment with the Empire, Zapheri felt her face flush. Being watched by him was a heady experience and she was forced to acknowledge she’d never truly be rid of her feelings for him.
This will end badly.
The smug energy she arrived with was eclipsed by an aching sort of melancholy. Finally, she stood across from him and tipped her chin in greeting “You wished for a debrief, Grand Admiral?”
“Indeed.” He nodded once and motioned for her to proceed.
Teela Zapheri described her conversation, argument and altercation with Vanth Tyvol as well as her quickly compiled accord and conspiracy with Arn sans emotion. Her irritation bled through her voice during her recount of her conversation with Agent Kallus and the apparent false lead perpetuated by the Governor’s invention. After completing her testimony, she eyed him speculatively, “What I don’t understand is why you thought Arn’s blaster was suspect.”
He smiled slightly, prompting her to compress her lips to hide her own smile. He was rewarding her appropriate questioning with a long-drawn-out analysis in typical Thrawn form. It made the melancholy ache in her chest flair in longing for simpler times when she was just his aide.
“As I said before, Zapheri. Three is a very important number to the Firnilli Sect, but by your account the Ralltiri contingent did not know the Corellian component of the same Sect was present. Out of the two, the Corellian devotees are far more – “ he made a face, “- pious in nature. The Ralltiri assassin was there to perform a task but Rahvin was there to perform a religious mission.”
“So the droid was Rahvin’s means of assuring his mission was complete,” Teela shook her head in contemplation, and suddenly blinked in nervous realization “But that means there is still one attempt unaccounted for!”
“Not unaccounted for.” The Chiss rumbled softly, eyeing her with interest, “Rahvin’s dagger used a poisonous gas, likely released via a timer or some other mechanism. Agent Kallus and I were able to escape and place that section of the dome into emergency ventilation mode.”
She clicked her tongue in sarcastic annoyance. “Oh fantastic. I look forward to reading that report. And of course, the hours of compensatory training on poisonous releases. Imperial bureaucracy at its finest.”
Despite himself, the Grand Admiral smirked at her humor. He had once found it trying but had over the course of years become accustomed to it, even replicating it; but it had been long absent and sorely missed. Perhaps she was starting to reacclimate to being back in Imperial service. Perhaps she would return to trusting and confiding in him.
Thrawn inhaled deeply, “Zapheri, why did you not tell me about Tyvol’s assassination?”
She blinked. “Well, I am a rebel. Plus, I didn’t know he was going to be assassinated. The governor lied.”
The Chiss leaned forward in his seat, “I would not assume that. Only that she understood far more about who her guests were than you or I did.”
Teela huffed incredulously, “Are you saying she likely knew someone wanted him dead but didn’t tell anyone because it was in her best interest to keep us ignorant?”
“Indeed,” He nodded, “I am interested in hearing what she stood to gain.”
She scowled fiercely, feeling suddenly off-centered as he continued to muse aloud. “There is a very good chance, the Governor has ties to criminal elements and knows Malastaja’s true identify.”
“Arn seemed to know about Malastaja.”
Thrawn shook his head, “I doubt he knew more than local rumors. It is more likely that he used your desperation to appear marginally trust-worthy.”
Despite the backhandedness of the comment, Teela had to admit he was probably right and that Arn’s original intent may have even been to kill her but upon being so closely placed to an Imperial Grand Admiral the bigger, more important target was just too good to pass up.
His gaze flicked up to her, his Sy Bisti bringing her out of her temporary reverie. “Why did you not trust me?”
She looked down, shifting her feet guiltily as she did, taking the time to shrug before looking back up and meeting his eyes. “I didn’t know how you’d react.”
Of all the things she could have said, this was likely the most hurtful to him. After well over a decade together, had she not learned? Had he not shown her who he truly was? Did she not understand him?
“I didn’t…I didn’t know how you’d be forced to react” She clarified. “You’ve refused to come back to Nirauan with me. I – “
“And that is, somehow, reason enough to believe you could not come to me for protection?”
Zapheri sighed, “I don’t need you to protect me, Thrawn. I need you to come back with me to – “
“No.” He suddenly stood up, needing physical motion to relieve the stress of feeling like he was slowly, once again, losing the woman he loved. “You did not think, Zapheri. You put yourself in unnecessary danger. In so doing you put us both into danger – “
She opened her mouth to argue her point vehemently, but jerked back at his words, as if slapped.
“I would never –“ Teela gasped.
Thrawn stepped around the desk to stand in front of her. “But you did.” He said softly. “You did because I never would have let anyone hurt you, Zapheri.”
Teela’s eyes watered as she stared in disbelief at the Grand Admiral. “Thrawn, I –“
The Chiss slowly turned, allowing her time to right herself and giving himself much needed distance from her scent and the near-instinctual need to comfort her.
“I – I am, despite every indication to the contrary, thankful.” The human woman absently wiped at her wet eyes. “But you are not obligated to me, Mitthr’aw’nuruodo.”
Thrawn clasped his hands behind his back and sighed. How could someone so ridiculously brilliant and talented, display such an appalling lack of understanding?
“And despite every indication to the contrary, I am first and foremost your friend.” He turned back to study her intently.
Friend.
Yes, they had always been friends, but could an Imperial Grand Admiral remain ‘friends’ with a Rebel? Could they ever be anything more than what they fought against?
“I cannot stay with the Empire, Thrawn.”
“And I cannot leave.”
“Then we are at an impasse.”
“Perhaps. Perhaps not.” Despite the ache in his chest, brought on by Teela’s refusal to allow the intimacy they once shared, Thrawn smiled slightly.
Teela Zapheri had always been a rebel at heart but she was also conflicted, and she had tried desperately to show him a firm sort of resolve. The Grand Admiral could see that she would eventually break. He just needed time to win her over.
“I expect your full report by the end of shift.” He murmured, a clear dismissal.
“Of course.” She nodded and turned to leave.
“One additional point of discussion, Zapheri.” The Grand Admiral steepled his hands in front of him again, eyeing her pointedly as she turned back around to face him. “I would recommend you remain cautious in your dealings with Agent Kallus.”
Teela wrinkled her nose and made a skeptical sound in the back of her throat, “He’s harmless.”
“Perhaps, but I would advise against befriending him.”
“And why is that?”
Because he touches you like he wants you and if he does it again, I will be forced to kill him.
Because you are mine.
Because I love you.
He shook his head against all the things he wanted to say.
“Why tempt the ISB’s curiosity?”
“I suppose.” She shrugged her assent. “Is that the only reason?”
The admiral felt his eyes narrow at the question and steadfastly refused to acknowledge her query. Did she suspect a more personal objection? Regardless, he wasn’t going to educate her on his explicit concerns over her proximity to the resident ISB agent. Knowing that her interactions with Kallus at the Governor’s Ball infuriated him beyond reason – indeed, to the point of homicide - would give her too much power over him.
Finally, irritated by his silence, Zapheri rolled her eyes and huffed a curse, leaving his office without offering further conflict.
As she exited the Grand Admiral’s office, Alexsandr Kallus rounded the corner and Teela felt her already limited ability to hold her temper noticeably decrease in real time like the level of fluid in a failed hyperdrive tank. It was almost like Thrawn and the ISB agent were conspiring together against her to prove she would eventually be driven mad over her dual life as an Imperial-turned-Rebel masquerading as an Imperial.
This will end badly.
“Zapheri.” Kallus smirked at her.
“Agent Kallus,” she nodded formally as she walked past him.
Unfortunately for her, the ISB agent turned, entering lockstep with her in the direction he’d just come from. Teela shot him her best ‘what the hell do you want’ look but it didn’t seem to phase him in the least.
“I was wondering – “
“Nope.” Teela shook her head.
He made a face, “You don’t even know what I was going to ask, Zapheri.”
“It doesn’t matter, Kallus. The answer is most likely ‘no’ since I’m busy.”
“I only meant to ask if you could teach me to throw a knife like you obviously taught Malastaja?”
Zapheri stopped short at the end of the corridor near the turbolift and turned to face him. “What makes you think I would teach a rebel something like that?”
“Are you denying it, then?” Kallus crossed his arms over his check, clearly trying to trap her.
“No. I’m not denying I was forced to do things I didn’t want to do, when I was held hostage by rebels.” She answered acerbically, “I didn’t mean for – “ Teela turned away slightly, pretending to adjust her three datapads so he wouldn’t see the lie in her eyes. “ – it to be used for ill gains.”
Kallus studied her skeptically, “I doubt you didn’t consider it being used in such a way and I certainly doubt Thrawn didn’t consider it.”
Something fast and sharp passed over the woman’s face, something the ISB agent recognized as inherently dangerous. It would be the height of stupidity to not view Teela Zapheri as a threat on a multitude of levels. She was an elite scholar, rumored to have an eidetic memory. She had the ear of an Imperial Grand Admiral and had through years of service to him and indoctrination been trained in undercover operations. She was without a doubt a weapon. But who’s weapon, exactly?
“What exactly do you want, Agent Kallus?” Zapheri asked softly, her voice deadly.
“I want what all spies want.”
The woman snorted. “Ah, I recall you mentioning respect, admiration, and a beautiful woman by your side?”
Kallus smirked, “That’s the downstream product of information, Zapheri, as you well know.”
“I have no information to give you, Kallus. We aren’t friends.” Teela glared up at him, her lips curled in a snarl as she summoned the turbolift. “You’d better stick to dancing.”
The lift door opened, and she entered while Kallus stared after her. “I am not your enemy either, Zapheri.”
Before the door closed separating the two, she shifted slightly, forcing her shoulders to relax and her jaw to unclench. “We’ll have to see about that.”