Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

After finishing high school, Jinx felt lost, struggling to figure out what to do next. She didn’t know which major she wanted to study in college, or if she even wanted to go at all.

So she wouldn’t be called completely useless, she worked at her parents’ bar almost every night, even though she hadn’t even turned 18 yet. To be honest, she actually liked it. Listening to drunk people’s stories always amused her. The problem was that she knew her parents expected more from her than just running the The Last Drop . It was complicated when you had an older sister who was practically perfect, with a solid police career and a pretty girlfriend at her side — though unbearably annoying.

Underage people weren’t allowed in the bar, obviously. But maybe Jinx would make an exception here and there when the person was attractive — and Silco and Vander weren’t around. Sometimes it always ended with Jinx in the dark alley with the person, exchanging saliva and sweat.

Because that’s what Jinx was, wasn’t she? An impulsive girl driven by carnal and momentary desires. She couldn’t control her urges, which flooded her chest to the point of suffocating her. Not just sexual ones, but any kind. She was constantly reminded of the time she broke her leg because she jumped from the second floor of a classmate’s house simply because they told her she would never do it — she did, and the worst part was that there wasn’t even any alcohol involved. And she didn’t even need to think about the number of times she got into fights, both at school and on the street. Anyway, it was hard to understand Jinx’s mind every time a sudden urge seemed to eat away at her body until she did what she felt she needed to do.

So it wasn’t any different when she noticed a different boy at the bar. Broad shoulders inside a denim jacket, bright white dreads pulled back, and full lips. She felt an instant shiver in her body when their eyes met, and she realized the desire was mutual. She grinned mischievously at the boy while serving beer to another customer. After some time, she decided she needed a cigarette. She left the bar in Mylo’s hands — the skinny boy who’d been around her family since childhood. At that point, Mylo could always tell when Jinx was just going for a smoke, or when the cigarette involved another person.

“Don’t take too long,” he signaled to the girl.

As she walked out the side door of the bar, Jinx’s eyes locked onto Ekko. It was a discreet invitation to do something indecent.

She went to her usual spot, an old bench leaning against the wall in a dark alley that could be seen from the bar’s exit. She lit her cigarette and hadn’t even gotten halfway through it when the boy arrived.

Even though he wasn’t much taller than Jinx, his broad shoulders made him look even bigger.

He approached, almost awkwardly, almost like he had never walked up to a girl in a dark alley before. Before he said anything, Jinx offered him a cigarette, and he refused with a shake of his head, staying right in front of her.

“Is this your first time here?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

“If you’re talking about this alley, yes, it’s the first time,” he smiled. “But the bar too.”

Jinx laughed at the boy’s lame joke, he smiled even more, and she felt a bit hypnotized.

“So, any special reason for coming?”

“It’s my friend Claggor birthday,” he said, then made a very cute face — in Jinx’s opinion — before adding, “my name is Ekko, by the way.”

She began to stand up from the bench while extending her hand to him.

“Jinx.”

Ekko’s touch was warm, a sharp contrast to Jinx’s always-cold hands. A big hand, with long fingers and calluses. Once again, Jinx felt that shiver through her body and decided to pull him into a kiss.

He took a few seconds to understand why Jinx was pulling him, but realized it when her other hand went straight to the back of his neck. He quickly grabbed her by the waist and pulled her forward too, wanting to close the space between them completely.

The kiss started slow. He tasted like mint and beer. His lips were soft and warm, and they set Jinx’s body on fire within seconds. It was a kiss different from what she was used to. Ekko ran his hand along her back gently, touching every point, exploring her back as if it were a new continent.

Jinx’s brain seemed to short-circuit. She had kissed countless people, done much more than that, but she had never felt like this — not even when she spent hours exploring her ex-girlfriend’s body.

It was as if she had been lost and finally found her way back, after years of searching. For some reason, it felt like that kiss and those hands beneath her were everything she had been looking for her entire life.

She spent years searching in different mouths, dicks, and pussies for someone — something — that could fill the emptiness she felt inside her soul. Desperately, tirelessly, and with every kiss and every touch, she only felt the emptiness grow and consume her.

For the first time, she felt different. More whole, more desire, a feeling of power entering her body, a void shrinking — slowly, but still shrinking.

She gripped Ekko’s neck while her other hand slid under his shirt, lightly dragging her nails across his abdomen — and she could feel it was toned.

The kiss became feral. Wild. Teeth, bites were exchanged. Jinx bit that full lower lip until she almost tasted blood, and all Ekko did was let out a sinful moan against her mouth. He grabbed Jinx’s ass firmly, squeezing as if he wanted to claim her for himself. Ekko lifted her up easily, and she wrapped her legs around his waist while she felt the dirty wall hitting her back.

She didn’t care about the dirt or the fact Mylo could come looking for her at any moment, considering the bar was probably packed. She didn’t care. All she wanted was Ekko. Ekko kissing her, Ekko touching every part of her body and inside her.

Even while on his lap, she tried sliding her hands into his pants, but without breaking the kiss, Ekko stopped her hand. She felt annoyed in her mind. Why wouldn’t a man want her to touch him? She was almost giving up on the kiss when she felt Ekko’s fingers on her pussy, feeling the friction of his fingers over her jeans. One hand held her ass while the other rubbed quickly. She was seriously considering pulling down her jeans right there and letting him do whatever he wanted to her when they heard a shout:

“TAKING OUT THE TRASH!”

Jinx broke the kiss with an angry huff, thinking about the possibility of killing her parents, Mylo, and anyone else who crossed her path.

“What was that?” Ekko said, breathless.

“I need to go inside,” Jinx let her head drop closer to his neck while Ekko slowly set her down. She bit his neck, tasting the salty sweat she had made fall there.

“What time do you get off?” he asked, hopeful.

“Three,” she answered, already walking to the door. “If you wait, you won’t regret it.” 

She received a critical look from Vander when she returned to the bar, but they knew their daughter. Ekko passed by the counter while Jinx was making drinks a few long minutes later, and she managed to catch a glimpse of the bite mark on his neck. Aside from the looming anxiety of getting back into Ekko’s arms, the night went on normally, without any big disaster or event.

Jinx did not expect to find Ekko leaning against a black Mustang parked beside the bar. Mylo, who was next to her, let out a whistle.

“So you snagged a rich guy, huh?”

Jinx rolled her eyes at her friend and kissed his cheek before running toward Ekko’s car. She wanted to avoid letting her parents see him. She’d have trouble coming up with a lie about where she knew him from, and she wasn’t in the mood for another speech about how she shouldn’t get into strangers’ cars.

“So you stayed,” she said.

“You said I wouldn’t regret it.”

The car was big and stylish. Jinx never cared much about cars besides the family truck, mostly because she wanted a motorcycle, but Vander always said something like “you’ll kill yourself in two days if you have a motorcycle,” not that she cared much. Radiohead was playing loudly in the car, and Ekko drove fast, but responsibly. He kept shifting in his seat as if he were nervous — which would be normal. Jinx had her feet up on the seat, staring at the boy with a hunger she had never felt before.

“Where are we going?” Jinx asked, with fake innocence.

“Hmmm,” he hummed, “to a place I really like.”

“You’re not going to kidnap me, steal my organs or something, right?” she joked, but Ekko didn’t seem to catch her tone.

“What? No! Of course not… you…” he began to stutter.

“Calm down,” she laughed. “I was just kidding… even though it’s a possibility since we don’t know each other.”

“Seriously, Jinx! I’m only taking you there because it’s a really beautiful place…”

And saying it was beautiful didn’t do the place justice. They were on top of some mountain, in the middle of trees, and it felt far away from the city, even though they hadn’t driven that long. She understood the moment she stepped out of the car why he liked it there.

The entire city was visible, and at night the different colors of the lights made the place seem like a living organism. But it didn’t compare to looking at the sky. The stars shone in the immensity above, and Jinx felt far too small before the universe.

“So, do you bring all the girls you kiss here?”

“No,” Ekko answered, looking embarrassed as he ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve never brought anyone here actually, it’s the first time.”

Jinx laughed louder than she should have. At that point in her life, she had long lost count of how many times a man said something was the “first time” just as an excuse for something.

But Ekko truly seemed shy, his cheeks flushed. Jinx stopped laughing and studied how beautiful he looked under the full moonlight.

She didn’t think much after that and threw herself into Ekko’s arms.

It was the same sensation — her body burning, the wildness of his touch, and the feeling of being in the right place.

Ekko touched every part of Jinx’s body. She didn’t even notice when he lifted her and laid her on the back seat, pressing their bodies together.

He undressed her slowly, observing Jinx’s body like an artist admiring a masterpiece. He kissed her shoulder softly, then descended with a trail of sweet kisses and occasional bites. She let out a loud moan when his mouth found her hardened nipple.

While he sucked and licked her nipple, his other hand roamed over all of Jinx’s body. She felt her body burning with each touch, her desire reaching its peak. She wasn’t prepared to feel the world explode inside her when Ekko’s fingers touched her clitoris.

Ekko fingered Jinx while sucking her breast, and Jinx screamed in pleasure, her nails digging so deeply into his back that she could feel blood beneath her fingers.

“More,” she said, between moans.

Ekko ignored her — or didn’t hear — and continued sucking and fingering Jinx, who could no longer control her body. Involuntarily, she writhed on the back seat of the car with two of Ekko’s fingers inside her. She lifted her hips, begging for more. She needed more. She needed all of him.

Jinx grabbed Ekko’s hair and pulled it upward, forcing him to look at her. The expression on his face could’ve been sculpted by God — eyes gleaming, lips slightly swollen from sucking her nipple.

“I need more,” she managed to say, breathless.

“What do you want, Jinx?”

It wasn’t easy to think with his fingers stroking her clitoris and him staring at her with a hungry look. The purest, most depraved hunger. He wanted to hear her answer, every word, and waited patiently until Jinx caught her breath enough to say:

“I want you to fuck me.”

It took a few seconds, then Ekko smiled.

Fuck.

Jinx knew at that exact moment that she was done for.

Chapter Text

Jinx had a pattern. She never slept with someone more than three times, she would never bring anyone to her own house, and even less meet their parents.

Some people called her unstable, but that pattern was so well-built it was the closest thing to stability she knew. Jinx liked the thrill of always searching for something new, of exploring someone else’s body.

Deep down, Jinx always wondered if someone would ever make her want to stay.

Truthfully, she was always chasing the feeling of anything. Anything that made her feel alive, that kept the emptiness inside her from growing. Living in this constant chase often led her into dead ends — and many times, dangerous ones.

But Jinx was never afraid of danger. Feeling danger meant feeling something, and that was enough.

Until she found herself standing in front of a big, beautiful house, smoking a cigarette while waiting for Ekko to open the door for her. The sun was setting, and the orange sky reflected on the flowers in the garden.

Ever since the first day she met Ekko, everything had been turned upside down.

While she felt confused, trying to understand all the new and unfamiliar feelings running through her mind, at the same time she felt euphoric.

Every minute she spent with Ekko felt like a new adventure waiting to be lived. Jinx’s body seemed to act on its own when it came to Ekko — always wanting to touch, to be close, to feel desire burning her skin. The purest ache in her stomach, whether hearing him tell stories from his childhood or moan in her ear. Ekko was the strongest drug Jinx had ever tasted in her life, and she couldn’t stay away anymore.

They hadn’t just slept together more than three times — they were seeing each other every day, in the same place. Ekko’s Mustang was already tired of being their meeting spot.

Jinx didn’t know exactly what made her agree to go to his house.

She felt that when it came to Ekko, all her neurons fought against everything she had decided for her life. She shouldn’t be there — yet there she was, watching the boy walk toward her with a crooked smile, leading her inside, saying his parents were traveling, showing her some rooms in the pretty house… not that Jinx could pay attention. All she could focus on was the beautiful exposed neck in front of her and fighting the urge to bite it right there.

“This is an interesting place,” Jinx said, wiggling her eyebrows.

Ekko laughed, shaking his head.

“Of course it is,” he murmured as he opened the door for Jinx to walk in.

Jinx entered a wine cellar bigger than the storage room at The Last Drop, and definitely cleaner. She walked among the bottles, pretending she recognized the names she’d never seen before, some of them with labels in languages she didn’t even know.

“I think you’ll like this part more,” Ekko called from the other side of the room.

Jinx really did like it more. Ekko was leaning against a shelf with different kinds of whiskey. Jinx smiled as she picked a random one — because she didn’t know many anyway.

Ekko held Jinx’s free hand, and a small shock ran through her body just from his touch. He pulled her slowly through the house until they reached the rooftop, which was clearly prepared for the two of them. At the door leading up, two short, wide glasses and a small silver bucket with ice waited for them.

“How were you so sure I wouldn’t pick wine?” she teased.

Ekko only shrugged while leading her to the rooftop, where a checkered blanket was spread out.

“It’s almost like a date,” Jinx said, smiling.

“We’ve never actually had a real one, have we?”

They sat there, looking at the sky with only a few stars visible in the middle of the city. They were in a comfortable silence, though Jinx felt their bodies were far too distant from each other.

“What do you plan to do now that you’ve finished school?” Jinx asked, turning her head to observe him.

Watching Ekko was like looking at the most expensive piece in a museum. His face looked sculpted by divine hands, and his deep brown eyes were a doorway to paradise.

Jinx didn’t know why she asked that, to be honest. She hated when people asked her the same. Vander insisted on it gently, but it always ended in a fight. Silco, on the other hand, was more indirect — leaving college pamphlets around the house in places he knew Jinx would find them.

“To be honest, I don’t know,” Ekko said, sighing. “It’s hard to know what I really want, or what my parents want for me.”

Jinx huffed in recognition of that feeling.

“What do they want for you?”

“Well, they say they want me to be happy and follow my heart.”

“Sure, obviously,” Jinx mocked.

“I think they’d like me to do something really good, you know? Something that gives me money, recognition, or peace of mind, I guess.” He gave an embarrassed laugh. “I think they’re afraid I’m lost.”

“You’ve got three good options there,” Jinx observed. “And what do you want?”

“That’s the problem, isn’t it?” he looked at her.

“But what’s crossed your mind?”

Jinx realized she was repeating almost the exact conversation she had with Mylo after they finished school. She just hoped it wouldn’t end the same way.

Ekko studied her seriously, seeming to analyze every possible answer as he looked at her.

“If it were to follow what my parents would want — which I don’t hate, by the way,” he added, raising a finger, “it would be something like robotic engineering.”

Jinx raised her eyebrows and nodded.

“And what about you?”

Ekko took much longer to answer. He just stood there, looking at her, searching for answers in the gaze of someone who didn’t know what to do with her own life. Jinx kept drinking whiskey while waiting. She even thought he might give up answering, until he whispered:

“I like art. A lot.”

It took a few seconds for Jinx to convince Ekko to take her to his studio. His cheeks were flushed, and Jinx couldn’t tell if it was from the alcohol or from the idea of exposing his work.

“If some part of you wants to be an artist, you have to know other people will see your art,” Jinx told him — and that seemed to finally convince him.

She hadn’t expected the studio to be outside the house, in a room with huge windows, surrounded by plants and flowers. From afar, it could easily pass for a greenhouse.

The first thing she noticed inside was the amount of paint scattered on the floor. Every color imaginable filled small buckets and stained the ground. A large couch with pillows and blankets — also stained with paint — suggested Ekko often slept there.

There were many types of easels, in all sizes. On the walls, several artworks were hung: paintings of people, animals, objects, and abstract pieces. Ekko seemed to do a bit of everything, searching for his style.

But one painting in particular caught Jinx’s attention.

It was a huge canvas, almost her height. The scattered brushes and paints were the first clue that this was the one Ekko had been focused on. And if you looked closely, you’d see a few small blank patches — mostly in Jinx’s long blue braids, which were loose in the painting.

In the artwork, Jinx sat hugging her knees, centered in the middle of the frame, and everything else was her hair spread out, taking over the entire canvas, shifting shades of blue as it reached the edges.

“Yeah… I hope this isn’t too weird,” Ekko said behind her, and Jinx could hear the fear in his voice.

She didn’t know what to say. She was staring at a version of herself she had never seen. The eyes in the painting were soft; her body seemed relaxed, her shoulders at ease, and the corners of her mouth lifted as if she was about to laugh.

“Is this how you see me?” Jinx finally asked, still staring at the painting.

Ekko looked unsure. He rubbed his hands together as he stepped beside the real Jinx.

“What do you mean by that?” he asked back.

Jinx sighed.

What did she mean?

Did she want to admit she was a broken girl who felt lost — not just about college, but in everything? Did she want to tell him she felt so empty, so empty that it was like she was dead? That this was the reason she was always chasing new things — not because she was adventurous, but because she needed something, anything to make her feel alive? That she planned the hike for next week because being too long in the city made her feel suffocated, and only the thought of a mountain capable of killing her made her feel a little alive again? Did she want to confess that she saw life in dull grey, and the only thing that made her feel anything was sleeping with numerous strangers just to get a minimum spark of pleasure — on the days she even felt it, because sometimes not even sex filled her heart in the slightest?

But admitting that would also mean admitting that since he arrived, everything changed.

Since Ekko appeared in that bar, Jinx felt alive. The heat of Ekko’s body was like a fuel that awakened a desire in her she had forgotten existed: to live. She would never admit that her world became a little more colorful after he appeared — that would be the corniest thing she had ever said — but deep down, it was true. She couldn’t understand what it was about that boy that made her unconscious mind recognize life again, even when all he did was tell her about his day.

“A gentle person,” she decided to say instead.

“Oh,” Ekko opened his mouth, clearly having thought of something else. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Jinx pulled a face, making him laugh.

“You’re definitely not gentle — you’re more like an explosion — but it’s more about how being with you makes me feel… calm… soft.” His cheeks turned red. “It was supposed to be a birthday present, actually. You said it’s next month, so I thought…”

Ekko was rambling, lost in his thoughts, probably embarrassed. But Jinx couldn’t put into words what hearing that did to her.

So she did the only thing she knew how to do.

She kissed him.

She had already lost count of how many times she’d kissed Ekko, but each time was better than the last. He kissed her back with the same passion, pulling Jinx by the hair. The kiss was wild, Jinx’s nails scratching his arms with a desperate need burning inside her.

Without warning, Jinx dropped to her knees in front of him.

“What…?” Ekko began, confused by the sudden shift.

Jinx didn’t answer. She began undoing his belt, feeling her mouth water. Ekko’s dick was hard against his jeans, pulsing under her hands so close to him.

When she finally, finally managed to open his pants, Ekko’s dick sprang out toward her face. It was beautiful, thick and long, with pronounced veins and perfectly sized balls. Before touching it, she looked up at Ekko — and the sight of him above her, eyes starving for her, made Jinx even wetter.

Without breaking eye contact, Jinx took Ekko’s dick into her mouth and started sucking. He moaned so loudly it echoed through the studio, and Jinx increased her pace. She sucked, licked, and took him all the way down her throat. Ekko moaned and struggled to keep his footing.

Jinx pulled him out for a few seconds to slap him against her own face. She felt his hot, wet dick against her cheek as Ekko watched her with his mouth open, drooling.

She didn’t have the chance to put him back in.

With a movement too fast for Jinx to process through her arousal, Ekko was on top of her, tearing off her clothes with ferocity.

“Holy fuck, Jinx,” he groaned between kisses and moans.

Jinx smiled at him while returning the kisses, scratching his back, trying to touch every inch of him.

After stripping her, Ekko started kissing her stomach, but Jinx grabbed him by the hair and shook her head.

“That’s not what I want,” she whispered in his ear.

It took a few seconds, but something clicked inside Ekko.

“Oh, yeah?” he moaned back.

Ekko’s hand went straight to Jinx’s throat, gripping it firmly while the other hand pushed her thighs apart.

“What do you want?” Ekko asked in a steady voice.

When Jinx opened her mouth to answer, Ekko tightened his grip, making her choke — unable to form words.

“Hm? Didn’t catch that,” Ekko said, smiling.

Jinx’s thighs were open, and without hesitation, Ekko shoved two fingers inside her, making her arch her back and throw her head back with a strangled cry.

“Look at me,” Ekko commanded, but Jinx ignored him, still looking away as she felt his fingers working inside her.

“I said…” he repeated, firmer, “look at me.”
He tightened his grip on her throat again.

When she finally looked at him, Ekko was smiling as he pumped harder and harder inside her.

“Good girl.”

Ekko released her neck, and Jinx coughed, trying to recover the air he had deliciously taken from her.

When he pulled his fingers out, a whimper of sadness escaped her lips. Ekko grabbed her waist, turning her around easily and setting her on all fours.

She could feel how wet she was — dripping down her thighs.

Ekko positioned himself behind her and licked her entire body, from her calves up to her pussy, drowning in her. Jinx screamed as his tongue pressed against her clit — but screamed in despair when she felt Ekko’s dick enter her.

It was desperate, torturous, deliciously cruel to feel him thrusting into her with such force, fucking her harder and deeper each time. It wasn’t enough — she wanted him deeper, wanted him completely inside her. The sound of Ekko’s body slamming against hers mixed with their cries of pleasure, along with the sharp smack of his hand against her ass.

Jinx’s eyes filled with tears when her body reached its peak — feeling the orgasm start in her feet, leaving them numb, then rising like a wildfire through her body until she ended with a desperate cry to every god she’d ever known.

Naked, sweaty, their bodies sticky, Jinx lay on Ekko’s chest, listening to his heartbeat while he stroked her back.

“I’m going to assume that meant you liked the present?” Ekko finally said, breaking the comfortable silence after long minutes — and Jinx burst into laughter instantly.

“Right??” Ekko insisted, wanting an answer.

“Yes, Ekko, I liked it — and it wasn’t even a little weird walking in here and seeing myself, I swear.”

Jinx didn’t need to look to know Ekko was rolling his eyes.

“You don’t see yourself that way?” he whispered, his fingers trailing up to her neck.

“In a soft way?”

“Yes.”

Jinx scoffed loudly.

“You literally said I’m an explosion,” she retorted.

“Yes, but I think you—”

A noise outside made them both stand up too fast. Ekko’s face was red, and without a shirt, the marks of her nails and bites were clear all over his skin.

“Shit,” he whispered. “Shit, shit.”

“What is it?” Jinx asked, rushing to grab her clothes.

Ekko kept muttering curses as he got dressed quickly and urged Jinx to do the same.

“Can you explain?”

“Looks like my parents got back earlier.”

“What the…”

They dressed at record speed, and Ekko stopped in front of Jinx, running his hand through her hair to try to give them at least a minimum of decency.

When the door opened and Ekko’s mother stepped inside, she looked surprised to see Jinx there — and Jinx was even more surprised to see exactly where Ekko’s beauty came from. She wore long black braids with golden ornaments that contrasted with her simple white dress. She had the same broad shoulders and full lips as Ekko, only her eyes were different — a shade of greenish.

She smiled widely and started signing something with her hands.

“I thought you weren’t coming back today,” Ekko said aloud while signing the same thing.

Jinx tried — and failed — to hide behind him, but she had already been seen. She was far too nervous to properly process the fact that Ekko knew sign language fluently — and how insanely attractive that was.

“You could’ve warned me,” Ekko said, signing again.

His mother laughed and signed something else that made Ekko roll his eyes.

“This is Jinx,” he said, pointing at the girl half-hidden behind him.

“Hi,” Jinx waved awkwardly, feeling pathetic.

Ekko’s mother stepped closer and offered her hand. It took Jinx a few seconds to realize she needed to shake it, but she finally did. She smiled kindly and signed something else to Ekko before leaving the studio.

Jinx slowly turned to him, crossing her arms. He looked flustered, fixing his messy hair.

“Sorry about that. She said the car broke down, so they decided to come back…”

“I didn’t know you spoke sign language,” Jinx blurted, impressed.

“Oh, yeah,” Ekko’s cheeks colored at her tone. “Probably before I even learned to speak, honestly.”

“Is your dad also deaf?”

“Yes, but not from birth,” Ekko explained as he walked to the couch. “He had an accident at the factory years ago and ended up meeting my mom when she was teaching a sign language class.”

“Wow.” Jinx mirrored Ekko’s big smile. “That’s a beautifully tragic love story.”

Ekko laughed loudly, and the sound made Jinx’s heart warm.

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

“Is it a problem that I’m here?” Jinx asked, insecure.

“No, it’s fine. She was just surprised to see you — I almost never bring anyone here.”

Jinx raised her eyebrows at that, making Ekko roll his eyes and pull her closer. She laughed as she settled against his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

“Tell me something about your parents,” Ekko whispered.

“Hummm… what do you want to know?”

“Anything,” he said, stroking the back of her neck.

“Well… they’re gay.”

Ekko let out such a loud laugh that Jinx had to pull away a bit just to watch him throw his head back laughing. Jinx laughed too, enchanted by him.

“Okay, okay,” he managed between breaths, “everybody knows that!”

“Oh, you want something exclusive?” He nodded. “Hm… let me think…”

Jinx took a few minutes trying to think of something interesting — she wasn’t sure what to share.

“How did they end up together?” Ekko asked, helping her thoughts.

“Vander and Silco knew each other since they were kids, along with my biological parents. They were all best friends, so much so that my parents named them both as our godparents. Vander says he was always in love with Silco, but Silco played hard to get,” Jinx smiled, remembering all the times she’d heard Vander confess while telling this story. “So when my biological parents died, they took me and Violet in because it was my parents’ wish. They moved in together, became parents, and eventually Silco couldn’t deny his feelings anymore.”

Jinx finished the story smiling, as she always did — but she noticed Ekko was torn between smiling and feeling sad.

“It’s okay, Ekko,” Jinx rolled her eyes. “It’s been years.”

“I’m sorry about your parents, Jinx…”

“You don’t need to be, really.” She returned to Ekko’s lap. “It’s okay. Vander and Silco are wonderful dads.”

“I guess we both have parents with beautifully tragic love stories,” Ekko joked.

“Yeah, I guess we do.”

Jinx smiled at him as he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

Chapter Text

from: jinx

to: ekko

I won’t be able to go 😭 Vander asked me to stay and take care of the bar until late.

from: ekko

to: jinx

😭😭😭😭

—

“The owner’s daughter is always allowed to use her phone without getting yelled at.”

Jinx rolled her eyes as she put her phone away.

“It’s not my fault the owner ruined my plans and I had to warn him I’d be staying late.”

The bar was packed, the blasting pop music making Jinx’s head pound, and the orders for beer and drinks didn’t stop for a second.

“And that famous Jinx rule of ‘never sleeping with someone more than three times,’ where did that go?” Mylo teased with a grin.

And really, where did it go?

Not that she wasn’t asking herself the same thing all the time. It had only been a few days since Jinx got back from a camping trip with Ekko — where they spent two days in the middle of the woods, bathing in the lake, hiking, and fucking inside the tent — and now she was canceling a party where he would introduce Claggor. Ekko was crashing into Jinx like a strong wave, and all she could do was swim with the tide, hoping not to drown.

“I’m happy about it, you know?” Mylo continued, ignoring Jinx’s eyerolls. “You deserve to be happy.”

“Mylo, I’m just seeing him, I’m not getting married.”

The skinny boy raised both hands in surrender.

“I’m just saying. For you, traveling and meeting his friends is practically a wedding.”

“Why do I tell you anything?” she grumbled.

“Because I’m your best friend and I’ve put up with you for many years.”

They kept working behind the bar, serving drinks and making small talk. It was still too early for any drunk idiot to start trouble, but Jinx could already tell it was that kind of night. A last-minute birthday reservation was the reason she had canceled her night with Ekko — but honestly, she was glad.

Jinx had never been in a real relationship, just like she never wanted to be. She wouldn’t know how to act or what to say around Ekko’s friends.

She felt like a fraud.

Jinx had the constant feeling that everyone knew she didn’t deserve any of this. She didn’t deserve a beautiful, kind, funny, caring man who treated her well. Someone who made her chest warm and made her feel safe. She knew she didn’t deserve him, so everyone else had to know too.

“Hey, Jinx.”

Jinx didn’t need to turn around to recognize the voice. She exchanged a quick look with Mylo, who shrugged and decided not to get involved in “family matters,” as he called them.

“Hey, Caitlyn.”

When Jinx turned, Caitlyn was leaning against the bar near her. She wasn’t in her police uniform, wearing only a simple purple dress that matched her hair. See, Jinx wasn’t homophobic, despite what Violet accused her of sometimes. Her older sister could never understand that someone simply might not like her precious “Cupcake.” Vi and Caitlyn had been together for so many years that Jinx barely remembered what it was like to have Violet to herself — but she did remember how Vi replaced her with that prim-and-proper pig prototype.

“Have you seen Vi?” Caitlyn asked, looking anxious.

“Oh, yes!” Jinx said with fake cheer. “She passed by with some tall, hot, big-boobed redhead, but I don’t think she’d want you interrupting.”

“Jinx,” Caitlyn rolled her eyes, already out of patience. “I don’t have time for your games.”

“Get lost, Caitlyn. Go look for your girlfriend,” Jinx spat the last word with obvious disgust, making her sister-in-law huff and leave.

“You should stop doing that,” Mylo said as Jinx started preparing a drink beside him.

“It was just a little joke.”

“Seriously, Jinx, at this rate they’re going to get married and you won’t be invited.”

“Look at my face and tell me I care.”

Of course Jinx wanted to be invited to her own sister’s wedding. She had tried to like Caitlyn. She really had. But something in teenage Jinx’s brain blamed Caitlyn for losing Violet.

The sisters had been extremely close. Vi was Jinx’s hero. They were confidants, friends, partners. Jinx spent more time in Violet’s room than her own, and it had always been like that — until Caitlyn came along. Sure, now that she was older, Jinx understood it would’ve happened with or without Caitlyn. People grow up, tastes change. Four years of age difference between sisters is a lot. Jinx was a kid, and Violet was already a teenager. At some point, Vi would get tired of babysitting. But that was a hard thing for a 12-year-old to understand, especially when all she saw was her sister choosing someone else. Now, as an adult, Jinx understood — but the resentment toward Caitlyn stayed. Understanding everything too late didn’t erase the damage.

And honestly, annoying Caitlyn had simply become a hobby

The night dragged on slowly, despite being exhausting. Jinx served people without really paying attention, operating on autopilot. She felt her phone buzz a few times and wondered if it was Ekko, but she kept working so she wouldn’t have to deal with Mylo’s comments.

Late into the night, close to closing time, the clearest reminder of why Jinx wasn’t homophobic leaned against the bar.

It had been months since Jinx last saw her.
Her straight, blonde hair was tied in a messy ponytail, her cheeks flushed, and her white, low-cut shirt had a large, still-wet beer stain near her chest — clear signs that a lot of alcohol had been consumed.

“Jinx!”

“Hey, Lux.”

Jinx greeted her back, feeling a slight chill in her stomach. Not the good kind, like the one she felt with Ekko — something closer to the feeling you get right before something goes wrong.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you around.”

Lux leaned on the bar in a way that intentionally drew attention to her full breasts. Jinx lowered her eyes for only a few seconds, but Lux caught it, shifting slightly so they stood out even more. Nervously, Jinx glanced around, hoping someone needed service — but for the first time that night, no one was there.

“Yeah. I took a few days off.”

A few days off she spent in Ekko’s arms.

“I was sad when I came looking for you and you weren’t here,” Lux said in a pouty voice.

It was obvious what Lux wanted.
The pouty tone, the hair flipping, the chest practically spilling out of her shirt — all signs Jinx knew very well.

Jinx couldn’t say she felt nothing.
Of course she felt something.

Especially because she knew exactly what that pouty voice sounded like moaning her name with Jinx’s fingers inside her.

But Ekko also moaned her name.

And that… was a big problem, wasn’t it?
Jinx had never been in a relationship, so she had no idea how she was supposed to act in moments like this. She wasn’t even sure she was in a relationship. She saw Ekko often, she had kind of met his mom — even if they didn’t talk — his friends knew about her, her friends knew about him… that was a relationship, right? And they were monogamous, right? They had never talked about it, but Ekko definitely didn’t seem like the open-love type.

And Jinx?
She never thought about relationships long enough to know if she was monogamous or not…

She could hear her thoughts screaming inside her head, but on the outside she was simply shifting glasses and bottles aimlessly to avoid looking at Lux — because she knew that if she lifted her eyes, they would go straight to the blonde’s chest.

“Yeah, right,” Jinx repeated like an idiot.

She took a few steps toward the sink, desperately trying to escape the blonde — but unfortunately, the sink was still a place where customers could lean and talk to the bartenders.

Damn Vander and his “friendly bar design.”

“Do you want to go for a walk after this?” Lux asked, leaning even closer, while Jinx stared hard at the glasses in the sink.

“Uhh—” Jinx’s tongue tangled.

She knew she should say no.
She didn’t want to sleep with Lux.
She… thought she didn’t.
Or did she?
No — Jinx wanted only Ekko.
Yes. That was it.

“Come on, kitten,” Lux stretched out her hand and lightly touched Jinx’s arm. “You know you want to.”

Jinx froze with the glasses in her hands.

Did she?
Did she really want to?
It wouldn’t be bad — she knew that. It never was—

“Lux, please let Jinx wash the glasses,” Mylo — savior of the night — appeared and moved Lux’s hand off Jinx’s arm. “She’s working.”

“It never stopped her before,” Lux muttered, annoyed.

Mylo stepped closer behind Jinx than usual and whispered quietly in her ear:

“Look at your little man.”

Jinx’s first instinct was to laugh — the absurd idea of calling Ekko little man, when NOTHING about that man was little.
Her second instinct was to look up — and indeed, see Ekko leaning against the wall, arms crossed, watching the scene. Jinx couldn’t read the expression on his face, but it definitely wasn’t happiness.

Lux was still leaning on the bar, watching them, now looking irritated.

“How long has he been there?” Jinx whispered to Mylo.

“I think for a while.”

That was all Mylo said before turning around to go help another customer.

“No, Lux, thanks,” Jinx finally found her voice. “I already have plans.”

Lux frowned.

“Excuse me?”

“I said no,” Jinx repeated bluntly.

Lux’s face turned bright red.
She clearly wasn’t used to hearing that word.
She left without responding, stomping away in frustration. Ekko followed the whole movement with his eyes, watching Lux return to her table with her friends. Only then did he walk toward the bar.

“I heard you have plans. Would it be delusional of me to think they’re with me?” he smiled.

“Who else would it be with?” Jinx huffed.

“You didn’t answer,” he countered.

“My hands are kind of busy,” she lifted her soapy hands as proof. “And still — here you are. Like a stalker.”

“Here I am,” he said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

It didn’t take much knowledge about relationships to see that something was wrong with Ekko. His eyes looked sad.

“Are you okay?” Jinx asked.

“Yes, of course,” he replied way too quickly.

“I’ll finish this and we’ll go,” she said, not believing him at all.

After the bar closed, Jinx met Ekko outside, alone, without his Mustang.

“How did you get here?” Jinx asked as she approached him.

“I called an Uber. I wasn’t going to drive after drinking.”
Jinx rolled her eyes with a smile — of course he wouldn’t.

“Can we walk?”

Jinx and Ekko walked through the city around 3:30 a.m., and for the first time, there was an uncomfortable silence between them. She walked close enough for their arms to brush, but she could feel that Ekko didn’t want any other kind of touch.

Her hands were sweating, and she was starting to feel nauseous, but she didn’t have the courage to bring up why he was acting like that. She assumed it was about Lux — but what if it wasn’t? What if he wanted to stop seeing her? What if he realized she was a fraud?

The problem with walking was that neither of them lived close to the bar — and Ekko lived even farther. She noticed they were walking toward Jinx’s house, which made her even more nervous. Ekko had never been inside her home. He never asked why she didn’t want him there, but she also knew the question always lingered between them.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Jinx burst after twenty minutes of walking.

They were standing in front of an empty park — because no sane person would be out at that hour.

Ekko stared at Jinx with an unreadable expression. He took a long time to answer, long enough for Jinx to feel like she might throw up.

“That blonde girl— was she your ex?”

For some reason, Jinx laughed. It wasn’t funny, and her reaction made Ekko pull away even more.

“No, Ekko, she’s not my ex,” Jinx said, trying to sound serious.

“Why was that so funny?”

“It wasn’t,” she insisted. “I… I don’t have any exes.”

Ekko tilted his head, eyebrows raised, looking surprised.

“None?”

“None.”

“But the conversation sounded like—” he didn’t finish the sentence.

“Yeah, I know. We’ve hooked up a few times.”

Three, to be exact — but Jinx didn’t need to add that.

“You wanted to accept her invitation?”

Now it was Jinx’s turn to look surprised.

“How much of the conversation did you hear?” she asked defensively.

“Pretty much everything.” He crossed his arms.

“You think it’s okay to listen to other people’s conversations?”

The words slipped out of Jinx’s mouth. She hadn’t meant to say that — she didn’t even want to say it. It was fine if Ekko heard it. She hadn’t done anything, she didn’t even want to. She didn’t mind that he listened.
But Ekko’s reaction to her words was painful—sad.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but you seemed like you really wanted to be with her.”

Jinx wasn’t nauseous anymore — she was getting irritated, though she didn’t know why.

“And would that be a problem?” she crossed her arms.

The silence that followed was deafening.
She could hear every leaf rustle in the trees.
She heard her heart pounding in her chest.

She knew this moment would come eventually.
Ekko would never stay with the broken girl she was.
Jinx didn’t even know why she was saying things like that.

“Jinx,” Ekko whispered, running a hand through his hair, “what are we doing here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Us. The two of us. What does all of this mean?”

That was the question, wasn’t it?
The question she had been asking herself for days, ever since the first moment she saw him.

What were they?
And better yet — what did she want them to be?

Jinx wanted him.
She had accepted long ago that Ekko was different. He arrived and completely changed her perspective about being with someone — about there being pleasure beyond sex.

But it was terrifying.
Her brain kept asking when he would leave.
When Ekko would finally see that she was broken, ruined, beyond fixing.
When he would realize she could never give him the relationship he deserved, because she didn’t even know who she was.

“I don’t know,” she said honestly.

“What do you want? What do you want us to be?”

“I don’t know,” she repeated.

“Jinx,” Ekko sighed, “I can’t tell you what you want. You have to decide.”

“What do you want?” Jinx whispered.

“I want us to be more than this. More than making out in the car and in the studio, hiding. I want to know your home. Your parents. I want a real relationship. I want to walk into the bar and not see you flirting with other people — not because you’re not allowed to, but because you don’t want anyone else. I want to be enough for you.” he admitted without hesitation.

Jinx sincerely had to hold back a laugh at the absurd idea that Ekko wasn’t enough for her.

“I want all of that,” he sighed. “Because I’m falling in love with you.”

The world seemed to stop.
Jinx stared at that beautiful face, with cracked lips and eyes so deep she could drown in them. His words hit her like an arrow straight through her chest.

“You shouldn’t,” was all she managed to say.

“Why not?”

“Because…”

Because I’m broken beyond repair.
Because I’m good for nothing but sex and empty conversations.
Because I could live fifty lives and still not deserve you.
Because I can’t fill the void inside me that has followed me forever, and I don’t even know why it exists.
Because I’ll never be the person you deserve, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be whole.

“Because no, Ekko.”

“I don’t deserve an explanation?”

“I can’t give you what you want, Ekko.”

Getting home was a blur.
The only thing she remembered was Ekko’s tear-filled eyes.
She didn’t give him the chance to respond.
She just ran — and Ekko didn’t run after her.

She felt the tears rolling down her face, her frantic breath — from the running or from an anxiety attack, possibly both. Her chest hurt. The pain of breaking a bone was nothing compared to what she felt now. She remembered the pain of losing her parents, and this was very, very close.

Jinx found herself doing exactly what she did when her parents died.

Drenched in tears, she stood in front of Violet’s door, banging so hard the door shook.

“What the fuck, Jinx?” Violet opened, swearing.

Her sister’s eyes were swollen with sleep; she wore only a white shirt and black boxers, her hot-pink hair sticking up wildly. In a glimpse, Jinx saw Caitlyn sitting up in bed, startled by the noise too.

“Why are you—” Vi began, but her words died when she saw Jinx’s face.
The anger of being woken up vanished, replaced with pure concern.

Violet glanced quickly back at Caitlyn, then stepped out and pulled Jinx into her arms.
Jinx crumbled against her, barely feeling her legs.
Her older sister lifted her onto her lap, holding her hair gently.
Exactly the way she used to.

In the middle of the chaos, Jinx remembered her parents’ funeral.
She hadn’t wanted to go.
She had locked herself in her room, crying.
Violet found her and stayed, hugging her in silence, sharing a grief that would never go away.

Violet carried Jinx to the room and sat her on the bed, as if she were eight years old.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Violet asked.

Jinx had no answer for that.

She felt suffocated, full of words and feelings stuck in her throat, but she had never known how to share or explain anything.

“Why am I so broken?” Jinx finally choked out through tears.

“You’re not broken,” Vi assured her. “Why do you think that, little one?”

“Because I am. That’s how I feel. I can’t do anything right. I don’t know when I started feeling so lost, so…”
The words died in her weak voice.

Violet sighed softly and looked at her with tenderness.

“Jinx, you’re not broken. But I do remember the day something changed in you. The night our parents died. Something inside you shifted — and that’s understandable. No one goes through grief without changing.”

“But you didn’t get lost like this,” she whispered, sounding like a child.

Violet gave a soft, sad laugh.

“You really think that? I felt lost for years, Jinx. But I had to stay strong for you.”

“For me?”

“Yes. I knew it would be harder for you to process because you were younger, so I tried not to show how much it hurt.”

“I’m sorry…” Jinx cried.

“No, Jinx. You never apologize for that, you understand? I did it because I love you, and honestly, it’s what kept me from losing my mind.”

“I miss them so much it hurts. I don’t know what to do with it — with this pain and all the love I still have for them. Where do I put it?”

Jinx admitted it for the first time.
She never allowed herself to miss her parents.
She loved Vander and Silco so much and felt like missing her biological parents was ungrateful to them.
She remembered staying in bed for days after they died — which still happened sometimes — but after that, she decided she wouldn’t suffer anymore. That she couldn’t. Her life had to go on.
But the pain was always there — in every moment.
That small, buried ache she tried to ignore.
The one that followed all her days, minutes, seconds.
All the pain she had to push as deep as possible into her mind.

Jinx sobbed so hard she could barely breathe. Violet pulled her into a tight hug and whispered:

“Give it to me. Give me all the pain and all the love you have for them. I’ll help you carry it. This pain isn’t just yours — it’s ours.”

They stayed there, silently, holding each other. Jinx didn’t know how long it took until her voice returned enough to say:

“I think I ruined everything with Ekko.”

“So you’re finally going to talk to me about him?”

Jinx rolled her tear-filled eyes.

“I didn’t know what to say, actually.”

“What happened?”

“He saw Lux flirting with me…”

“Never liked that girl,” Violet muttered, rolling her eyes.

“…and he confessed to me.” Jinx finished, ignoring the comment.

“And what did you do?”

“I told him I couldn’t… and I ran.”

Violet shook her head slowly.

“Do you like him?”

“I think so…”

“Jinx,” Violet sighed, “I don’t know him, but I know you. I know the exact day you hooked up with him, because you were happier, lighter. Something was happening — you were just… soft. Anyone could see it in your eyes that this boy does something to you.”

“Really?” Jinx whispered.

“Yes. And you need to know you deserve it. You deserve love. You deserve happiness. You deserve an entire world of it. You’re not broken — and even if you are a little bit, you still deserve all of it. You can be fixed, even if you don’t need fixing. You’re special exactly the way you are.”

Jinx hugged her knees and asked:

“And what do I do about Ekko?”

“You fix it.”

Chapter Text

A hole opened in Jinx’s chest, consuming her soul like a black hole sucking in everything around it. She felt as if she had opened a faucet that would never close again. It was a paralyzing pain. She couldn’t remember how her legs worked or how she was supposed to breathe properly.

All she could see was her parents’ faces. Floods of memories drowned her until she couldn’t think anymore. Her mother’s purple hair blowing in the sun on a summer day. Jinx could swear that there, inside her room that hadn’t felt Felícia’s presence in years, the smell of her mother’s hair perfume invaded her nostrils.

But sometimes, she saw Ekko.
She remembered the feeling of his kiss, his large hands caressing her back, the scent of his breath, and the way he laughed at anything she said. She could hear his voice inside her mind.

Jinx didn’t know how many days she stayed in bed. Time felt like an abstract concept she no longer understood. She remembered Violet taking her to bathe, lifting Jinx in her strong, tattooed arms and carrying her to the tub, washing her endless hair.

She remembered Vander bringing food and feeding her—only light things, so Jinx wouldn’t need to chew much. She remembered Silco sitting beside her, gently stroking her head and singing a song Jinx vaguely recognized from her childhood.

When her mind was clearer, she felt grateful that they didn’t try to talk to her. It wasn’t new for Jinx to be in this state, so everyone already knew how to act. After a few times, they realized that just helping her in silence was better. The times they tried to talk only made it worse.

But she didn’t remember it ever being this bad.

She always saw these episodes as moments when she simply didn’t want to live anymore. She lay in bed and let the emptiness come in, feeling each piece of it—or trying to. It was more like floating through the immensity of space, alone, cold, and dead. Dead was a good word for it.

She felt dead.
But this time, she would have done anything to ease the pain. Everything in her body hurt. Her bones felt cracked into little pieces that were trying to escape her own skin, tearing her apart. She couldn’t explain it—it was just pain. Everything she saw was a hallucinating ache that constantly reminded her of her parents and Ekko.

But one day, she opened her eyes and didn’t see any of them. She could still feel the pain deep in her chest, but she remembered how to walk and could see things more clearly.

And just like that, she got out of bed. Her body ached, complaining after days without moving. She walked slowly to the bathtub and sat there, letting warm water wash her body.

It didn’t take long for a disheveled Violet to rush into the bathroom, finding Jinx washing her hair.

“Hey, sis,” Jinx greeted, forcing a smile.

The first reaction on Vi’s face was pure shock, but soon her eyes filled with tears, and she ran to hug Jinx. Jinx could feel Violet crying on her shoulder.

“Was it that bad?” Jinx asked, trying to sound casual.

“Jinx, it’s been over two weeks.”

After that, Jinx went through almost the same thing with her parents. She received tight hugs, tears, and words of worry. She had to listen to a speech about therapy, which she delicately dodged. None of them wanted to let Jinx go out alone, but they were used to it: when Jinx woke up fine, she was fine.

She would live her life normally until she relapsed again. It had always been like that, and always would be.

But this time, she woke up knowing someone she needed to see.

Jumping over the back wall of Ekko’s house wasn’t the best way to find him again. She ended up falling on something hard, hurting her back, and making a loud noise. Ekko ran out of his studio to see what was going on.

“Jinx?” he asked as he approached, uncertainty in his voice.

Jinx decided to have a shred of dignity and stand up before answering.
And fuck, Ekko looked even more beautiful than she remembered. He was wearing loose pants and a simple white shirt, his dreads tied in a ponytail, paint stains all over him. Jinx’s body tingled with the memory of being wrapped in his arms.

“Hi,” she said, smiling.

“What the hell are you doing here? And why did you jump my wall?” Ekko didn’t seem angry, just very shocked.

“Uhm,” Jinx muttered, “I needed to talk to you. And I didn’t want to run into your mom.”

She really didn’t want to see Inna. She wouldn’t be able to explain why she was there after so many days, especially since Ekko had barely begun teaching her sign language when they… fought (?)

“What do you want?” Ekko asked, crossing his arms, finally sounding irritated.

“Uh”—Jinx felt her hands getting sweaty—“I… well… I actually…”

“You’re stuttering.”

“Oh, thank you, Mr. Obvious. Really enlightening.” Jinx rolled her eyes.

Ekko gave a brief smile, shaking his head. It wasn’t a big smile, but it was still the most beautiful thing Jinx had ever seen.

“So?” he pushed.

“I shouldn’t have run away,” she blurted.

“Oh, and I’m the one who’s obvious?”

Jinx made a face, rolling her eyes again.

“I just… panicked?” she raised her eyebrows.

“That’s what you came here to tell me? That you ran because you panicked?”

“Yes?” Jinx said, sounding unsure.

“And what do you expect me to do with that information?”

“Ekko… I… it’s more complicated than it seems.”

“Well, I’ve got time,” he said, sitting on the grass.

“Here?” Jinx asked, incredulous.

“Yes.”

“Why can’t we go inside?” she pointed to the studio.

“Because no,” he simply replied.

“Is there a prostitute in there or something?” Jinx joked, but Ekko just stared at her. The lack of an answer made her wonder if he actually was with someone.

“You… you’re already with someone else, aren’t you?” Jinx couldn’t hide the sadness in her voice.

“What?” Ekko grimaced, scrunching his whole face. “Of course not, Jinx. I’m not, and there is obviously no prostitute in my studio.”

“Oh,” Jinx felt her cheeks burn.

She sat in front of him, keeping a respectful distance—one that made her even sadder.

“I don’t know how to start…”

“The beginning is usually good,” Ekko crossed his arms.

Jinx took a deep breath. This was it, right? Her chance to say everything to him. She needed to explain that she was broken, everything she had done, all the pain she felt all the time… She had always been impulsive, but doing this terrified her. She was sure that once she told him everything, Ekko would leave.

“Well… I’m not the person you think I am,” Jinx began. “I’m not soft like your painting. I’m broken, and I don’t know if I can be fixed.”

She appreciated that Ekko stayed silent, listening closely.

“I don’t know what I want in my life. Working with Vander doesn’t sound so bad, even though he often reminds me of when I used to help him fix his truck and was obsessed with mechanics… okay, I got lost a bit—” she started rubbing her hands. “The point is that I’ve always felt lost, kind of empty,” she softened it on purpose, “so I always used sex as an escape valve. I looked for worldly pleasures in different bodies trying to fill whatever is missing in me. And I made a stupid rule that I’d only sleep with someone a maximum of three times.”

Ekko’s first reaction during her entire confession came at that moment—he raised his eyebrows and let out a small laugh.

“Shut up,” she rolled her eyes. “The point is that I didn’t even know why I felt that way… I still don’t know if it’s just that, but I… I miss my parents so much.” Jinx felt her eyes fill with tears. “And I never learned how to deal with it, so I just… acted impulsively. I never got into a relationship because I don’t think I deserve love, Ekko. I’ve done so much shit out there, in the name of a feeling I couldn’t even name. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to stay. And I can’t handle the idea of losing someone else. So I deprived myself of any relationship because the idea of losing someone…”

Jinx wiped the tears from her face and noticed Ekko’s eyes were glassy too.

“But then, on one fateful night, someone walked into the bar and I thought it would be just once—three times at most. But I knew the moment you kissed me that everything would change.” Ekko smiled softly. “You made me question everything I thought I knew, Ekko. You made me break my rule because the idea of having you far away was worse than losing you without ever knowing what it was like to have you. But I ran for all the reasons I told you. I didn’t know how to act, and I didn’t think I’d ever be what you deserve. After that, I had a depressive episode”—it was the first time Ekko looked like he wanted to speak, but he stayed quiet—“it wasn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last. Sometimes I stay in bed for days, and this time it was particularly bad. I let myself feel all the pain from my parents that I’ve kept locked inside for years. It wasn’t easy. But I woke up knowing I needed to come talk to you. Maybe jumping the wall wasn’t the best idea, but I needed to see you. I needed to say I ran because I was scared. Ekko, I’ve been scared since the first day, because that’s when I fell in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since the moment you kissed me the first time…”

Jinx couldn’t finish because Ekko practically threw himself onto her. She didn’t even process that he had moved. But the world seemed to stop when their lips touched. She tasted mint. Her body melted and for the first time, the pain in her chest stopped hurting.

The kiss started soft.
But only for a moment.
Within seconds, the kisses became wild and violent. They were kisses making up for all the days apart, for all the longing.

Jinx didn’t notice when Ekko stood up or when his hands grabbed her ass, pulling her into his lap. She felt him hard against her stomach, and the rest of her sanity vanished.

Without breaking the kiss even once, Ekko threw her onto the studio’s couch—the same one carrying so many of their stories. In minutes, their clothes were scattered on the floor, and Ekko kissed and bit every part of her body with urgency, like he was starving. Jinx could feel how badly he wanted to devour her.

“Ekko, please,” she moaned as he kissed her stomach, “please…”

Ekko moved back up to her face, grabbed her hair with one hand, and came so close she could taste his breath. She tried to lean in, hungry for another kiss, but Ekko pulled her hair harder, keeping her from reaching him. She moaned, whining softly at the denial. She ran her hand along his body and looked at his strong shoulders, feeling wetter than ever.

“Look at me,” he ordered.
Jinx intentionally did not look.

Ekko’s hand moved from her hair to her throat, and Jinx couldn’t hold the smile of pleasure spreading across her face.

“I said look at me,” he repeated, and she finally did.

Staring into those beautiful, stunning eyes, she felt Ekko thrust into her.

Jinx screamed in pleasure.
He wasn’t gentle, slow, or soft.
He fucked her with force—deep, hard, searching for her end. Fast, sweaty, painful. Jinx moaned into Ekko’s ear, scratching his back as he thrust harder, deeper each time.

He paused for a few seconds to look at her. His eyes glowed, sweat on his forehead. Jinx opened her mouth slowly, and Ekko spit into it. Jinx felt her pussy tighten violently around him. Ekko groaned and gently stroked her cheek. She smiled, because she knew what was coming.

He started moving again the moment his hand slapped her face.

She turned her head with the impact and smiled again. She craved it. She wanted Ekko to have all of her and to feel all the strength he had. The sting on her cheek pulsed when the second slap came. Jinx felt her feet go numb and her legs tremble. Ekko noticed and began thrusting faster while Jinx screamed louder. When the last slap hit, she came undone.

Every part of her body was on fire, burning with pleasure. She couldn’t move, spasming from the orgasm. Ekko wasn’t much better, groaning into her shoulder, his weight on top of her like he had forgotten how to hold himself up.

“Fuck,” he whispered in her ear. “I love you, Jinx.”

Jinx didn’t answer. She felt like she was floating in a bright blue sky. Too blue…
Jinx pushed Ekko off her lap to look around the studio.

She saw dozens of herself.

The room was filled with paintings of Jinx—or paintings referencing her hair. In some she looked happy, in others, sadder. In some she had no face at all, which made them unsettling. But in the middle of all of them was the large painting she saw the first time she entered the studio. Now finished, with countless shades of blue surrounding her.

“Ekko…” she began, but she couldn’t find words.

“You weren’t the only one who suffered these days, Jinx.” Ekko kissed her shoulder softly. “You have no idea what I felt.” Another soft kiss. “I thought you wouldn’t come back. I tried going to the bar one night, but Mylo just told me you hadn’t been going… I thought… I thought many things, not worth mentioning.” Another kiss. Jinx finally looked at him. “I’m sorry for everything you went through, Jinx. For all the pain, all the grief. Grief is just a love that endures, you know?” He kissed her cheek. “That emptiness doesn’t go away. The hole in your chest will always be there… but you rebuild yourself around it. Little by little the world starts making sense again, and life grows around the emptiness. It might take years, and that’s okay.”

“Who did you lose?” Jinx asked quietly.

“My grandparents.” Ekko smiled gently. “My grandma died first, and two months later, my grandpa went too. We like to say it was their last great act of love.” He gave a sincere smile. “We all lived together, so it was hard to get through… my mom remodeled the house like four times trying to push the memories away. But one day we realized memories aren’t only there to hurt. Sure, they hurt. But they’re proof that love existed there—and always will. Memories keep them alive in our hearts.”

Ekko smiled and pulled Jinx into a hug. His arms were warm and strong, and she felt at home.

“I don’t care if you’re broken, Jinx,” he said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I’ll help you put the pieces together if you want, or you can stay the way you are. I love you in this messed-up, crooked way, and loving you was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

Chapter Text

Jinx couldn’t say that the days that followed were easy. She felt like she was recovering from an endless hangover. Her body felt heavier, her thoughts scrambled, and she was incredibly sleepy. She tried not to talk about it around her family, because they would all want to hospitalize her or something like that. So she was just living normally.

Actually, it’s unclear whether “normal” is even the right word.
She had never imagined that her normal would be seeing Ekko every day.

They spent a lot of time in Ekko’s studio, and all the important — and fucked-up — conversations happened there. They stopped sneaking around the city in Ekko’s car, Jinx was learning sign language so she could communicate with Inna, all in an attempt to have a normal relationship — whatever that means.

“Can I ask you something that’s been on my mind for days?” Ekko asked one night, while Jinx was lying with her head on his lap.

“Of course.”

“Have you really, really never dated anyone?”

Jinx laughed.

“You think I’m lying?”

“It’s just… hard to believe.”

Jinx took a deep breath, thinking about the possibility of lying, omitting, or just telling the truth. She and Ekko had talked a lot about their relationship to understand where they stood now. Jinx didn’t want to start being unfaithful so early on.

“Well, there was something that maybe could be called a relationship, but it wasn’t, in my opinion.”

“What happened?”

“Uhm”—Jinx searched for the right words—“well, we only had sex three times, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Ekko repeated, mocking her.

“Shut up,” she grumbled. “But we talked a lot, through messages and stuff. She’s not from here, and she only came sometimes to visit her dad.”

“What went wrong?”

Jinx shrugged, genuinely not caring.

“Nothing… I mean, for me. It’s everything I told you, I never wanted a relationship. She did. Different wants and all that. But we ended things on good terms, no one got seriously hurt or anything.”

“Who was she?” Ekko asked, his curiosity visible on his face.

“You won’t like the answer,” Jinx grimaced.

“Lux?”

Jinx simply nodded. Ekko huffed loudly and made a disgusted face.

“She was at the bar when I went looking for you.”

“Yeah?” Jinx mumbled.

“Yeah,” Ekko said with a frown that was honestly really cute.

Jinx sat up from his lap and held his face with both hands.

“Actually, we didn’t work out because I was waiting for you.” She smiled when Ekko’s cheeks turned red.

He pulled her into a hug, and they stayed like that for a few minutes, Jinx listening to his heartbeat in her ear.

“You know…” Jinx began, insecure, “tomorrow is my birthday.”

Jinx moved off Ekko’s lap, but his hand stayed on her leg, not wanting to break contact completely.

“Yeah,” Ekko replied, narrowing his eyes.

“Vander and Silco are making me a birthday lunch… and I wanted to know… uh… if you want to go.”

Ekko’s eyes widened and he straightened up on the couch.

“You’re inviting me to go to your house? With your family?”

“Yes,” Jinx said, feeling her cheeks burn.

“Of course I want to go!” His happiness was obvious, like a kid being allowed to eat candy before dinner.

“We can’t stay too long after lunch because I have something to do.” She smiled from ear to ear.

“What are you going to do?”

“Tattoos.”

Jinx couldn’t explain how beautiful Ekko was. He looked like a man sculpted by gods, without a single flaw. And there he was, standing in Jinx’s bedroom, with the morning sun lighting up his face — he looked like an actual god.

Jinx’s room was a mess, which wasn’t surprising. The walls were painted in a very light pink tone, almost white. The bed was messy, and if someone opened her wardrobe, everything would fall on their head. But Ekko was focused on the drawings Jinx kept on top of an old desk. Obviously, they looked nothing like Ekko’s drawings. They were just random doodles Jinx made when she was bored — some distorted faces and scattered words painted in fluorescent ink.

“Did you make these?” he asked.

“As much as they look like they were done by a five-year-old, yes, I made them.” Ekko smiled at her explanation. “I only draw when I’m bored.”

“Can I take one?” Ekko asked, without looking at her.

“What do you mean?”

“I want one of these.”

Jinx laughed at the idea of one of her distorted little drawings sitting among Ekko’s works of art, but she allowed it. Ekko chose something that looked like a little monkey, with big ears and X’s for eyes. He smiled fondly and put the drawing in his pocket.

The lunch went well. Everyone seemed completely charmed by Ekko’s personality, and even more impressed that someone had finally managed to make Jinx calm down. Mylo and Ekko acted like they’d known each other for years, and Vi was amazed by the little artwork Ekko made of Jinx — they ended up talking about art for a while. Vander and Silco played the role of parents, asking him about his intentions, his future plans, and all that nonsense. Ekko handled it well. He still hadn’t decided what to do about college, but for now he was focused on his art, though he was leaning toward engineering. Jinx, on the other hand, still had no idea what to do.

In her head, she could work at The Last Drop her whole life and be perfectly fine. It was her inheritance anyway, wasn’t it? But Vander subtly reminded her of her childhood, when she had a certain fascination with mechanics. She loved watching her father and Vander work on cars when something was wrong, and she always went with them to the workshop when neither of them could solve the problem (which was often). Jinx couldn’t deny that her heart wavered with the memory and the idea of continuing something she used to do with her dad.

Being with Ekko made her question her entire future. Would Ekko want to stay with her if she never went to college? Did he want a woman who grew and kept up with him academically?

Jinx wanted to figure things out herself, anyway. Something inside her stopped her from making a decision. Everyone thought she was avoiding the topic and being irresponsible. But that wasn’t it. Something about the idea of going to college terrified her. The idea of growing up. Becoming an adult was terrifying. Jinx didn’t know how she could handle it.

For that reason, Jinx’s first officially “adult” idea was to get a tattoo. Actually, not just one, but several. Ekko went with her, and they arrived at the studio in the middle of the afternoon. It wasn’t a horrible pain like some people claimed.

Getting clouds tattooed wasn’t a hard choice. She remembered spending hours with her mother watching clouds on spring afternoons. Jinx had tried erasing that memory from her mind many times, because the pain of remembering it was agonizing. But after her conversation with Ekko, she began to revisit those moments, and each day it hurt a little less. Tattooing a memory of Felicia was the first step for her to revisit her memories with love, not pain.

“I didn’t think it was possible for you to get even prettier,” Ekko commented, his eyes glowing.

“Awn,” Jinx whispered, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“I want to get one too.”

“A tattoo?” Jinx asked, confused.

“What else would it be?”

Jinx rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“What do you want to get?”

After the question, Ekko pulled Jinx’s drawing out of his pocket and pointed to it.

“You want to tattoo that?” she grimaced.

“Yes.”

“Why? It’s ugly.”

“Oh, it’s not ugly,” Ekko smiled. “It’s special. You made it. I want to carry a little piece of you with me always.”

Jinx smiled, feeling her heart overflow with affection, love, and all those cheesy things people say about love.

“Then I’ll get one too.”

And that’s how, on her 18th birthday, Jinx and Ekko got matching tattoos on their shoulders.

After that, the year flew by.

Ekko started college and Jinx kept working at the bar. They saw each other every day, even if only to say hi. Mylo once said they were codependent, and Jinx didn’t deny it.

Her life was different with Ekko there. Her depressive episodes had decreased significantly, even though they hadn’t stopped completely. But things were easier. Ekko didn’t make Jinx feel like she needed to be “fixed.” She simply was… herself. And everything was okay. She really liked the comfortable life she had at that moment. She worked at the bar, spent time with Ekko, and didn’t even have to deal with Caitlyn every day at her house, since it had been months since Vi and Caitlyn moved into an apartment downtown. Violet and Ekko had become friends, which consequently meant Jinx had to tolerate Caitlyn more often, but she was controlling herself better around her.

Exactly one year after Ekko first walked into the bar, he was waiting for her to get off work at 2 a.m., leaning against his Mustang. The déjà vu made Jinx smile.

He insisted he wanted to take her somewhere special, to celebrate their one-year anniversary. Jinx couldn’t say no to him — not that she wanted to. They drove with loud music playing, singing, with Ekko’s hand always resting on Jinx’s thigh. His warm touch was comforting.

Jinx smiled when she realized they were on the same mountain they had gone to the first time. But unlike the first time, at the edge of the mountain there was a blanket laid out on the ground, with a picnic basket filled with sweets and some beers.

“Wow,” Jinx smiled. “This is really special.”

“One year with someone who didn’t want more than three times is pretty special.”

They walked hand in hand to the blanket and sat side by side. The city lights were still beautiful, a moving painting, and the starry sky still intimidated Jinx. But now it felt different. She had the feeling she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

They talked for a while, eating and drinking beer. Jinx was telling him about the drunks at the bar who started a fight, while Ekko complained about his professors. Her heart felt like it might burst with love, and she wished she could live in that exact moment forever.

“So… I brought you here for another reason,” he began, looking embarrassed.

“And what would that be, little man?” Jinx asked with a smile, taking a sip of her beer.

Ekko turned to look into her eyes and held her hands. For some reason, Jinx started to feel anxious, her stomach twisting.

“I’ve told you this many times, but I wanted to say it again. You’ve changed my life in so many ways… I never thought I could feel like this… I didn’t even know feeling this much love was possible.”

Jinx began to sweat cold. It was a romantic picnic, at 2 a.m., on the day of their anniversary.

“We see each other every day because I can’t imagine spending a day without you.”

“Ekko—” Jinx began, insecurity in her voice.

“I don’t want to have to spend even one more day without you by my side.”

“EKKO—” Jinx interrupted him, shouting, pulling her hands away from his, startling him. “Ekko…”

“What?” he seemed confused.

“You can’t… we’re too young…” she stuttered, unable to find the right words. “No…”

“You think so?” Ekko asked, looking sad.

“Of course! Don’t you???” she asked, incredulous.

“I got the idea from Caitlyn and Vi…”

“They’ve been together their whole lives, Ekko! They’re older! They’re at the right time to get married and we…”

“Wait, Jinx, wait!” Ekko ordered, and Jinx stopped talking instantly. “You think I’m proposing to you?” — a smile began to creep onto Ekko’s face.

“You’re not?” Jinx asked, feeling her heart calm down.

“No! You’re not even 19 yet!” he laughed.

“Oh my god, Ekko,” Jinx sighed. “You scared me!”

Ekko was laughing so hard that tears rolled down his face. Jinx let herself laugh too, savoring every second of that sound.

“But… I was going to ask if you wanted to move in with me… I mean, for us to live together somewhere — not at my house or yours — but find a place and…”

“Ekko, wait,” Jinx laughed, repeating his own words. “You’re rambling.”

“I want to live with you.”

Jinx pulled him by the neck and kissed him deeply. It had been a year, but Ekko’s kisses were still exciting, adventurous.

“Of course I’ll move in with you,” Jinx said. “Without marriage!”

“Without marriage!” Ekko raised both hands in surrender.

“I need to ask you something…” Jinx rubbed her hands together, nervous. “If I never want to go to college… will you still want me?”

“Jinx…” Ekko held her hands again. “There is no universe where I don’t want you. Nothing you do, or don’t do, will make me love you any less.

Besides that, I really think you’d like college, and I want you to go because I think you’d love the place.

But I’ve already told you a thousand times — I love you in this life, the past ones, and the ones that are still coming.”

“All of them?” she asked, like she always did.

“All of them,” he answered without hesitation.

After a moment of comfortable silence, he added:

“But like… marriage not now or marriage never?”

Jinx laughed and brought his hand to her lips, kissing it softly.

“Not now.”

The next few days were chaotic. Jinx already knew enough sign language to talk to Inna and Wyeth without needing much help from Ekko, so the three of them told her parents together about their plans to move in.

Inna got emotional, her eyes filling with tears as she hugged Jinx. Being in Inna’s arms was extremely comforting. She always stroked the back of Jinx’s neck while hugging her. It was impossible for Jinx not to think of Felicia, so on bad days Jinx avoided hugs. But on a day like that, she accepted them gladly. Vander and Silco, on the other hand, weren’t as receptive. Jinx understood, in a way. Her depressive crises could be really bad, and her parents already knew how to handle her, and they were afraid Ekko wouldn’t be able to — or that he might make things worse. Ekko had to promise that at the first sign of a crisis, he would call both of them, or Vi, or all three — and he didn’t miss the chance to joke about calling Caitlyn, which earned him a light elbow to the stomach from Jinx.

That same day, while Vander and Ekko talked, Silco called Jinx to help him wash the dishes — an excuse to talk to her.

“Are you happy, my love?” he asked gently.

“Yes,” Jinx answered without hesitation, because for the first time, she knew it was true.

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

There was no judgment or resentment in Silco’s voice — only affection.

“I think I’ve never been so sure of something, Dad.”

They smiled at each other while Vander handed Jinx a plate to dry.

“I don’t want you to be mad at me now…” he said, glancing at Jinx, who already had her eyebrows raised.

“But I think you should reconsider college and therapy, my love. They’re two things that would make your life better, and you know that. We’ve only ever wanted the best for you.”

Jinx kept drying the dishes, silent. For the first time, she didn’t get angry at the suggestion. She’d heard it so many times, and it always ended in fights.  Jinx didn’t know if it was Ekko’s influence, or maturity, or simply the fact that she really was reconsidering. Not therapy, exactly — but college.

“I’ll think about it, I promise.”

The night ended with everyone drinking beer and laughing. Silco and Vander played the classic parent role, telling embarrassing stories about Jinx’s childhood.

Ekko threw sarcastic comments in between the laughter. Sitting there, with her parents and Ekko, Jinx no longer felt lost. She had finally found what she had spent her whole life searching for.

afterward, they went to Ekko’s studio. They were so used to sleeping there together, surrounded by Ekko’s art, that Jinx wondered what it would be like not being there anymore.

When they lay on the couch and Jinx rested her head on Ekko’s lap, she voiced her thoughts:

“Are you ready to not spend the nights here anymore?”

Ekko ran his hand gently down her back.

“For a life with you? Totally.”

The kisses started soft — Ekko kissing her forehead, cheeks, then finally her lips. She fell a little more in love with every kiss, every touch. Even after a year, she kept falling more and more. She got lost in her thoughts as Ekko’s hands moved along her body, and all her thoughts melted the moment his mouth met hers. Her voice disappeared, replaced by sinful moans and gasps of pleasure, until the cries of their orgasms filled the studio and they fell asleep, sweaty and exhausted.

The apartment hunt began in the following days. Jinx and Ekko spent hours online searching for something good. They wanted a two-bedroom place — one room would be Ekko’s studio — and they wanted a balcony, and an open kitchen connected to the living room so they could talk while someone cooked. They always went together, but sometimes Inna came along, other times Vander and Silco.

One day, they found it.

It was the perfect apartment — exactly how they wanted. The main bedroom even had its own private bathroom with soft light-blue walls. The floor was wooden, the windows were huge, with elegant glass panes that let in plenty of sunlight.  A little door in the living room opened to a balcony overlooking the city. This was the place.

They were excited to rent their little home.

The two of them bought the first item that belonged to both of them — for their home, just theirs. A large black flower vase, decorated with golden designs all around it. Ekko talked excitedly about having plants all over the apartment. Jinx had once managed to kill a cactus, so taking care of plants would be his job.

The building was small — only three floors, with two apartments on each. It was painted a shade of brown that made it look even older than it really was.

It was 10 a.m. when Jinx stood in front of the building, waiting for Ekko. In one hand she smoked a cigarette, and in the other she held the vase. She thought it was strange that Ekko wasn’t there yet. He was always more punctual than she was. But she let it go and waited.

She waited.

She waited.

After an hour, she was angry enough to yell at him the moment he arrived. Her stomach churned with irritation, but her mind had begun to worry.  She was torn between being mad and being scared. What could Ekko possibly be doing that was more important than the thing they’d been talking about for months? 

She knew something was wrong when Violet stepped out of a silver car.

Everyone knew that day was the day Ekko and Jinx would go to the apartment alone one last time before renting it. Everyone had already visited the place — even Caitlyn. There was no reason for Violet to be there.

Her uneven, slow steps, and the way she kept her eyes on the ground, made Jinx’s stomach drop. The anger evaporated. The cold wind hit Jinx’s face. Everything felt too quiet.

Violet’s face was swollen, her eyes red. Jinx desperately hoped she was just high.

Jinx’s mind jumped straight to her parents. The only reason Violet would come like that — crying — was if something had happened to them. Jinx tried to remember the last conversation she’d had with them the day before. Something about Vander volunteering to assemble the new furniture… But she couldn’t remember the last thing she’d said to Silco. Was that going to be the last conversation she ever had with her parents? And if it was, she couldn’t even remember… Panic flooded her, making her mind go blank.

“Jinx…” Violet began, fidgeting with her hands, still not looking at her.

“Violet…” Jinx stuttered. “Dads… they… they…”

Violet lifted her gaze. She really was crying silently, her lips trembling.

Jinx’s heart seemed to stop. She heard nothing, only stared at her sister’s face.

“No, Jinx,” Violet said after a few seconds. “They’re okay.”

That wasn’t enough to calm her. If anything, it made her stomach twist harder.

“What happened?” she whispered.

Jinx suddenly became painfully aware of everything around her. She felt the weight of the vase on one arm, and the cigarette and lighter in the back pocket of her jeans. The trees rustled quietly, a few leaves falling to the ground. It was hot — the midday sun burning two sisters far too pale for their own good. Jinx felt like she could count every second Violet stayed silent. Her sister’s breath hitched, her nose sniffled as she gathered courage to speak.

“It’s… it’s Ekko, little sis.” Violet tried to breathe. “He was in a car accident.”

Jinx’s heart shot up to her throat. He’d been in an accident and Jinx was here, angry about him being late. It wasn’t his fault — it was never Ekko’s fault when he was late. Usually it was hers. She would apologize later for being mad, for thinking he’d left her waiting on purpose.

“An accident? Violet, where is he?” Jinx’s voice was filled with urgency, and Violet stayed silent. “He’s at the hospital?”

“Jinx…” Violet begged.

“Where is he, Violet?” Jinx’s voice broke into desperation. “He’s at the hospital, right?”

“Jinx…” she whispered, shaking her head as tears streamed down. “He didn’t make it…”

“What do you mean he didn’t make it, Violet?” Jinx was shouting now. “I need to go help Ekko!”

“He didn’t make it through the accident, Jinx. He died.”

The words hit Jinx like a sharp blade slicing through paper. Her arms went limp. The vase fell on her foot, then bounced on the ground and shattered. It didn’t hurt — but it should have.It was heavy.  Violet’s words kept looping in her mind:

he died

he died

he died

The world disappeared from beneath Jinx’s feet. She collapsed onto the shards of the vase. Again — it didn’t hurt.

She faintly heard Violet trying to talk to her, but it sounded like static. She didn’t feel Violet’s hand on her. She knew her sister was touching her, but her body refused to feel.

She felt like she was being swallowed by the ground — the earth pulling her in, dragging her deeper, deeper, until she couldn’t breathe, until every part of her body ached from the crushing pressure, her lungs clawing for air that wouldn’t come, her nostrils filled with dirt. Pain radiated everywhere, but she couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything.There was only pain.

A vast, suffocating sea of agony. She couldn’t hear Violet anymore — not even as static. She couldn’t see anything either. She didn’t remember the color of the apartment, or the vase, or the trees around her. All she saw was an endless red, stabbing through her eyes. The only thing she heard was Violet repeating, over and over:

he died.

Chapter Text

Jinx felt like she was inside a snow globe. At some point, Violet lifted her off the floor and carried her to Vander’s living room. She didn’t remember getting into a car, the drive to the house, or how she ended up in that chair.

Her parents hugged her, crying. Mylo appeared at some point, wanting to keep her company. No one spoke directly to Jinx. She could feel the tension in the air, the fear radiating from her family: what if this is too much for Jinx to overcome?

She didn’t cry, didn’t speak, didn’t move. She watched life happening in front of her eyes as if it were someone else’s life. It wasn’t Jinx sitting in that chair, but some person who had taken possession of her body and would now live as Jinx.

She didn’t know how many hours had passed — or if it had been days. Violet’s face looked shriveled, tired, and she was wearing different clothes.

“The funeral is in a few hours. They took a while to…” she went silent, realizing what she was saying. “Do you want to take a shower before we go?”

Jinx didn’t answer. Did she want a shower? She didn’t know. Her brain didn’t seem to make the necessary synapses for forming a thought.

“Do you remember what Mom used to say? There’s nothing a good shower can’t make better.”

The mention of her—deceased—mother made Jinx look into Violet’s eyes.

She still couldn’t say anything. But she didn’t need to. In seconds, Violet picked her up and carried her to a bathtub already filled with warm water.

Jinx was such a heavy burden in these people’s lives that Violet already knew exactly what steps to take when a crisis arrived.

 “Ekko! I told you it was a bad idea!”

The rain was pouring down hard while Ekko tried to open the gate to get into the house. The key kept slipping from his hand and falling to the ground. It had been Ekko’s idea to go for a walk and check out a new bar opening in the neighborhood. Jinx had warned him it was going to rain. When they left the house, the sky was gray, but he wanted to go out. Jinx never knew how to say no to him, and that’s why they were in that situation: soaked and freezing.

“Aha!” Ekko shouted when he finally managed to open the gate.

Laughing, the two of them ran inside the house and went straight to the shower, their clothes dripping in a pile on the bathroom floor. It could’ve looked like the scene of two drunk people, but Jinx clearly remembered being sober — it was just that every laugh came from Ekko himself.

Ekko gently undid Jinx’s braids — which were more like a huge tangled mess than braids — and helped her wash her hair.

She felt Ekko’s warm, broad arms wrap around her from behind, and he pressed a kiss to her nape.

When she came back to reality, Jinx realized she wasn’t at home anymore. In fact, she wanted to go back to that exact moment. She tried desperately to remember what they talked about that day, but she couldn’t. No matter how hard she tried to access that memory, she couldn’t recall it.

“We can leave if you want,” Violet said beside her, making Jinx notice where she was.

It was a small but beautiful chapel. She could see people slowly arriving. Ekko wasn’t religious; Jinx knew that. He said he believed in something, more like the force of the universe and its multiple facets rather than God himself. But she knew every dead person received some kind of blessing for their passing.

She watched people walking with lowered shoulders, some visibly crying, others with sad expressions. Jinx didn’t know half of them, but she could spot a few with white hair — Ekko’s relatives, probably.

She saw Vander and Silco walk in. Caitlyn, Mylo. Her own acquaintances entering a chapel to see the only man Jinx had ever loved, dead. Jinx’s heart was constantly aching, crushed, trampled. With every beat, it hurt worse, and she felt like she was about to collapse under all that pain. And her heart hurt even more when she saw Inna from afar. It was the first time Jinx saw her with her natural hair, without the braids. It was long, curly hair, pure white just like Ekko’s.

A whimper escaped Jinx. She wanted so, so badly to leave. She wasn’t ready to see Ekko dead. To be honest, she still thought that at any moment he would show up saying it was all a mistake, a joke, or that he had decided to take a last-minute trip. She couldn’t believe she would never see him or hear his voice again. Walking into that chapel would kill him completely — with no chance of return.

But she saw Inna. She was crying while greeting people. Jinx didn’t want to be there, but somehow it felt like an obligation to go in and greet her (ex?) mother-in-law. Also, Jinx still didn’t know what had caused the accident. No one wanted to tell her, and she couldn’t find any words in her throat to ask.

After everyone seemed to have gone inside, Jinx stepped out of the car slowly. Every step toward the chapel felt like walking on long nails being driven into her feet, making them bleed, begging her to turn around and never come back to that place.

But she didn’t. She kept walking, slowly. She kept going until she reached the chapel door. Inna had already gone in; Jinx stopped at the entrance and saw.

On the other side of the chapel, a brown coffin. It looked like a normal coffin, Jinx imagined. She didn’t know much about coffins. Beside it, a wreath of white flowers with words she couldn’t read, and on the other side, a photo of him.

It was a simple photo. He was wearing a black shirt, his dreads loose, and that smile that had conquered Jinx so easily.

She walked toward the photo. She stared at it for long minutes. She wanted to burn that face into her memory. She was terrified that one day she would forget his face, his voice. Technology helped with that — they had many pictures and videos together. But at that moment, she was scared of forgetting the sensation of Ekko’s touch. She was scared of losing the precious memories they had made in the short time they had together. She needed to keep that love alive, that reminder that she felt all of it, that someone truly loved her and that she was capable of loving. She didn’t cry, but she felt blood trickling from her palms from how hard she was squeezing them.

Turning toward the coffin felt like it took years. In the two seconds it took her to turn, she saw in her mind the entire life she should have had with Ekko. Everything ripped from her — every plan, every promise tossed into the trash of forgetfulness. She felt her eyes sting and realized that she was finally crying.

Jinx would never be able to forget Ekko’s face in that coffin. Just like she felt she was no longer herself, the person inside that box didn’t look like Ekko either. His face was pale, his eyes closed, his dreads arranged too neatly for how he actually wore them. There were no visible injuries or any sign that it had been an accident — it was just an Ekko completely different from her memories. That Ekko, lying lifeless, would be Jinx’s last memory of him.

Ignoring every muscle in her body screaming not to do it, and ignoring the strange looks people gave her, Jinx pulled his shirt to the side and looked at his shoulder.

There it was — the proof that he was her Ekko. That dead man was the one who had gotten a tattoo with her at eighteen, the one who swore he would never leave and would love her forever, even if forever was too long. It was the shoulder of the man who promised to travel across universes to find her.

Jinx began to hyperventilate as she thought of everything she had lost, when she felt a familiar hand on her shoulder.

Even in that moment, Inna was a beautiful woman. Besides the loose hair, she wore a long black dress and a crossbody purse.

 “I’m sorry,” Jinx signed, trying to control her breathing.

It was the first time she had ‘spoken’ to anyone since Vi gave her the news. Signing with her hands was easier than speaking out loud.

“Me too,” Inna signed back, a tear sliding down her cheek.

For a few minutes, the two stayed there together, looking at the body of the boy they both loved. The silence was painful but, somehow, comforting.

 “I need to give you something,” Inna signed after tapping Jinx lightly.

She took a small black box out of her purse. Jinx recognized it as a jewelry box. She didn’t dare open it, only looked at Inna.

 “Ekko… he wanted to give you this,” Inna signed, her hands trembling, crying harder with every word. “On the day of the accident, he went out in the morning to pick up this gift, but he decided to stop by the house to put it away because—” She paused for a few seconds, trying to compose herself. Jinx could barely understand her because her own eyes were too blurry with tears. “Because he wanted to give it to you on your first night in the apartment. He left the house in a hurry, saying he didn’t want to keep you waiting, and then…” She stopped. Jinx covered her mouth with her hand to muffle a sob. “He never got the chance to give it to you in person. But I think you still deserve it. He had been planning this for days.”

 “Inna, it’s his last memory… don’t you want to keep it?” Jinx signed, trembling.

“It’s yours, sweetheart,” Inna smiled gently. “He made it for you. Ekko will always live on through the art all over my house.”

Jinx hugged Inna tightly. It took many minutes before they had recovered enough to let go.

Without telling anyone, Jinx walked outside the chapel and sat on the ground under a tree. She stared at the closed box. She tried digging through her memories to see if Ekko had ever mentioned a gift. She thought not, but her clouded mind wasn’t reliable.

She held the small box as if it were the most precious thing in the world — because to her, it was. It was the last memory of Ekko, the last plan he made, the last time he would have given her a present. Inside that box was the last interaction she would ever have with him.

Shaking, she opened it slowly. Bit by bit, the lid revealed a silver necklace. It was stunning. A small circle that moved, with the drawing of a blue rose. Jinx couldn’t cry anymore that day. She stared at the necklace, her stomach twisting with the pain devouring her. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever received. She sat there, examining the necklace, touching it, feeling its shape, pressing it against her skin, remembering that this was a piece of Ekko. It was all that was left of him.

Hours later, she realized the design was more than a flower. If you looked closely, the petals of the rose formed two faces. Jinx might have been delirious, but she could swear it was her and Ekko. And that was exactly the kind of thing Ekko would do. For the first time, Jinx smiled through the tears

“desperate” was one of the words Jinx could use to describe what she was feeling. She wouldn’t get out of bed, which everyone expected, so they took care of her. But it was desperate because, most of the time, she felt almost like another person. Some days she seemed to watch herself lying there, crying quietly. She could see how thin she had become, to the point her bones looked like they might slip out, and her blue hair was longer than ever. But on those desperate days, Jinx didn’t feel anything. Floating through space-time, observing herself, was numbing. It even felt silly to suffer so much. The ghost version of her didn’t understand what was going on. She didn’t feel anything — just that familiar emptiness in her chest, always trying to pull her deeper.

Other days, “anguish” was the right word. When she felt like Jinx — lying in her bed — the pain consumed her. It wasn’t just metaphorical pain; her entire body felt on fire, her blood turned to acid and corroded her from the inside. Her heart was so crushed she didn’t understand how she was still alive. She didn’t want to be. She didn’t want to be alive. In truth, she didn’t even remember the last time she wanted to be alive before Ekko.

She began settling that idea into her mind.

And it was the only thing that seemed to bring clarity. Her head wasn’t foggy anymore, and the pain took a break. It was a simple solution. If she didn’t want to be alive, then she just shouldn’t be. It came with more than one advantage. She wouldn’t be a burden to her family anymore. They would grieve, of course, but eventually grief fades. Everything passes in life, and it was better to suffer loss than deal with a girl practically on her deathbed. Everything would stop hurting. She could finally rest, sleep without nightmares. And, most importantly, she would finally see Ekko again. This life hadn’t been enough; she would find him in another one, like he always said. So, after what she thought had been months — she no longer understood time — Jinx stood up on her own, by choice. The first steps were difficult. She no longer walked without help from Vi or her parents, and her weight felt different from what she remembered, so the trip to the bathroom was exhausting.

Seeing her reflection was terrifying. She didn’t recognize the girl staring back. Her cheeks looked hollow, her pale skin resembled a corpse, her blue eyes were faded, dull. But the most shocking was her hair. She had always loved her long sky-blue hair, cared for it more than for herself for so many years. Now, in the mirror, it looked broken, rough, lifeless, tangled in a way that seemed irreversible.She felt anger burn through her stomach. Anger at herself. How had she destroyed the one thing she loved about herself?

Jinx went searching for large scissors and found them easily in her dresser.

She cut her hair angrily.

Every strand that fell to the floor made her angrier, more furious.

How did she let everything reach this point?

When she finished and looked again, it still wasn’t her. It was still someone else living inside the shell of Jinx’s body. She rummaged through drawers until she found Vander’s razors. Harder to find than the scissors — but she was determined.

She sat on the toilet and stared at her corpse-colored wrist, preparing herself. She closed her eyes and repeated in her mind all the reasons she had to die:

1 – life never made much sense, and now even less

2 – she was in unbearable pain, and dying would end it

3 – she was a burden to her family

4 – she could meet Ekko again

Still with her eyes closed, she brought the blade close to her wrist, but a familiar voice said behind her:

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Her hand froze millimeters before touching her skin. She didn’t open her eyes. Her heart pounded so hard it could break her ribs. She knew that soft but commanding voice. Every time Jinx was being stubborn for no reason, he used that tone. But he couldn’t be there. He was dead and buried who knows how long ago. It was just another trick her brain played on her.

Even so, she opened one eye slowly, searching for the source of the voice.

And she found him.

Ekko stood there with his arms crossed, leaning against the wall, wearing a moss-green shirt and loose pants. His dreads tied back, his face brighter than ever.

“Hi, my love,” he said.

Jinx stared at him, certain she had finally, finally lost her mind. She let the blade fall to the floor and began hitting her temples with her palms repeatedly. She needed her brain to send the hallucination away. It was the first time something like this happened. It made sense — she once read that the human brain will do anything to protect itself, even wild things. So bringing Ekko back to stop her suicide wasn’t surprising.

“Jinx, calm down, it’s okay,” the hallucination said softly, and Jinx was forced to look up.

He looked exactly how she remembered.

A tiny part of her felt proud of herself for remembering him so well — but sadness washed through her again.

Ekko kept looking at her while she sat on the floor.

Jinx couldn’t bring herself to speak. She hadn’t spoken in months, and she wouldn’t start by talking to a hallucination.

They stayed there staring at each other.

 “You shouldn’t do that,” Ekko said quietly.

Jinx raised her eyebrows like someone asking, “Do what?” and the hallucination understood, obviously.

“Kill yourself,” he said bluntly. “There’s an entire world left for you to see.”

Jinx felt her anger return. That hallucination dared to imply she had to live more? To live in that misery, in constant pain and struggle? To live trapped in that suffering? Jinx began standing up slowly, looking for strength to respond out loud — but as soon as she stood, the bathroom door behind her flew open, making her turn fast.

Vi looked completely shocked to see her sister standing. She said nothing for several seconds, just staring at Jinx in front of the toilet.  Jinx ignored it at first and looked back at Ekko — but he had already disappeared.

 “You cut your hair?” Vi whispered, terrified, staring at the floor.

Everyone knew what Jinx’s hair meant to her.

 “Yes,” Jinx answered — verbally.

Vi’s jaw dropped, forming a perfect ‘O’. Jinx spoke — but her throat burned, atrophied after months of silence.

This time, Vi was the one speechless. Jinx’s anger slowly faded, though irritation still churned in her stomach.

 “I wanted a shower,” Jinx lied between coughs, trying to get used to her voice again.

“Can I move?” Jinx asked, tired.

Ekko had asked Jinx to pose so he could paint her — as if he hadn’t already painted her countless times. That’s how she ended up lying on the floor, on colorful cushions, naked, covered only by a white sheet.

“Just a little longer,” he answered, focused.

Jinx huffed and waited. Rushing him never seemed to make sense. Half an hour later, he finally let Jinx go, and she put on random underwear and one of Ekko’s black shirts before going to look at the painting.

Jinx never got used to the way Ekko painted her. He constantly said she was his muse, and all his inspiration came entirely from the love he felt for her.  You could feel that love in every painting, every brushstroke, every choice of color.

While Jinx admired the painting, Ekko turned up the music that was playing. Now, ma meilleure ennemie echoed loudly through the atelier. Jinx smiled when Ekko reached her and pulled her by the hand.

He guided her to a corner of the atelier that wasn’t so full, and he began dancing. Laughing, Jinx followed. Ekko spun her a few times, Jinx stumbling through the dance. He pulled her against his chest and whispered in her ear:

 “One day, when we get married, this will be the song we dance to.”

Jinx woke up with a jolt in bed. She was panting, sweat gathering on her forehead. She remembered dancing with Ekko. They did that often, but that time had been the last time.  She wished she could go back and tell herself to enjoy it more — stay in Ekko’s arms longer — tell him they should have married that day. She shouldn’t have freaked out when he asked her to live with him; she should’ve asked him to marry her so they wouldn’t waste another second apart.

She looked at the window — the sun was rising.

 “Good morning!”

Jinx jumped at the sudden voice in her room and turned once again to see Ekko there, sitting at her desk, looking at her drawings.

 “I always loved your drawings.”

“I know,” Jinx sighed.

 “Look at that, she talks!” Ekko clapped sarcastically.

“Why are you here?” Jinx whispered, her voice weak.

Ekko turned to her with a gentle smile. Jinx felt her eyes water, her heart squeeze.

 “I don’t know,” he said, shrugging. “You wanted to see me.”

Jinx stared at him, incredulous.

“Of course I wanted to see you! You died!”

Jinx almost yelled, anger bubbling in her stomach.

“That is definitely not my fault,” Ekko tried joking, but his words stabbed through Jinx like a harpoon.

 “I know,” she repeated. “It’s my fault.”

Jinx hugged her knees and let the tears fall again.

“Jinx, it’s not your fault.” Ekko spoke with such certainty that Jinx almost believed him. “You can’t blame yourself for this, love. No one is to blame.”

 “If you hadn’t been going to see me, you’d be alive.”

“You don’t know that. I could have died anywhere. To die, all you have to do is be alive.”

Jinx shook her head. It was infuriating how Ekko seemed to always know what to say — even if he was just inside her head.

 “Am I going crazy?” she asked him, fear lacing her voice.

 “I don’t know,” he said again. “Only you can know that.”

 “I don’t know what to do now that you’re gone.”

“You need to live. Grief can be overcome — you will learn to live without me.”

Jinx laughed bitterly, as if that were possible. She learned to live because of him. She never knew what being alive meant before meeting him — always suffocating under feelings she could never express.

 “Go away, Ekko.”

Jinx lay down, turning to the wall, determined to sleep again.

Jinx was sitting on the bedroom floor, hugging her knees, while Ekko braided her hair. He hummed softly, his fingers moving delicately through her hair.

“Was it Inna who taught you how to braid?” she asked, relaxing under his touch.

“Yes,” he said, and she could hear him smiling. “She learned from our grandmother, who learned from her mother, and so on. It’s almost like a family tradition. My mom always said it was a form of love — caring for someone else’s hair.”

“Do you want to be a father, Ekko?”

She felt him freeze for a second.

“I think so,” he answered after a moment. “And you?” he seemed nervous.

I don’t know. Maybe.”

When Jinx woke up again, it was Vi who woke her. She brought coffee and they sat and ate together. Vi talked about random things without expecting Jinx to respond. Sometimes Jinx felt able to talk, sometimes not — but she liked listening.

Ever since she started hallucinating Ekko, seeing someone who was truly alive made her feel safer about not being completely insane. 

Later that afternoon, Jinx felt his presence before hearing his voice.

 “I swear, Ekko, you have to go away,” she said, exhausted.

 “I can’t leave, Jinx,” he replied gently. I think you want to tell me something, and you can’t.”

 “Of course there are things I want to tell you, you idiot.” She rolled her eyes; he laughed.

 “I mean about the death. I feel like you’re holding things inside that aren’t good for you.”

 “What do you mean? Of course they’re not good for me,” Jinx muttered.

“Are you not angry at me?” he asked bluntly.

“No, of course not,” Jinx said too quickly, her voice cracking.

“Are you sure?” Ekko pressed.

Jinx fell silent, watching the ghost leaning against the wall. The last few days had been an emotional rollercoaster — swinging between sadness and rage. She had given up the idea of suicide when she realized her family would suffer too much. They had already suffered enough with their parents’ deaths. So she decided to stay. That didn’t make it hurt less. The pain felt eternal — her chest would always ache. She would never recover because he was gone. Ekko was gone. She felt anger because she knew — she always knew — she shouldn’t get attached to anyone, because eventually they would leave. And even if she rationally knew he didn’t choose to leave, the truth was: he wasn’t there anymore.

 “You left,” she finally said.

 “Yes. In a way, I did.”

“You left me. You… you abandoned me, and now I have to keep living knowing you’re gone.”

Ekko said nothing, just kept looking at her. She felt the anger rising slowly — her skin tingling, her stomach twisting.

“I always said I didn’t want anything with anyone. I never let myself feel anything because I didn’t want to suffer when it ended! Well, look where I am now, Ekko! I can’t even get out of bed because I don’t know how to deal with how much I miss you. I miss you so much it physically hurts! I am constantly in agonizing pain because you’re gone!” She was speaking loudly, gripping her wrists tightly.

“Jinx…” Ekko tried, but she was lost in anger.

 “You came into my life and consumed me completely — even my soul. I don’t know how to live without you, Ekko! I thought I had found myself when I found you, but I see now that I didn’t. YOU taught me how to live.”

Her voice trembled, tears spilling — whether from rage or heartbreak, she didn’t know.

“And now I don’t know how to go on without you.”

“You’ll learn, love,” Ekko whispered. “You need to live. You need to grow, make choices, and discover for yourself that life is beautiful.”

 “I love you so much…” Jinx cried.

“I love you too. And I always will. No matter where I am or which life I’m in — I’ll always be yours. But you need to try.  You need to find something that makes you want to live for yourself.”

“How?” Jinx whimpered.

 “I don’t know… only you can find that answer.”

Jinx looked at Ekko for a long moment. When she finally tried to answer, she heard someone open her bedroom door.

She turned, expecting Vi — but the person who entered was much smaller.  Jinx found herself staring at a little girl she had never seen before. The girl had short brown hair tucked messily under a hat way too big for her.

Jinx stared. Was this another hallucination? Had her brain gone so far it created a child out of nowhere?

 “Who are you?” Jinx asked.

The girl tilted her head as if she didn’t understand. Jinx wasn’t good with kids — she could be anywhere between six and ten. Either way, old enough to understand.

 “Who are you?” Jinx repeated.

Instead of answering, the girl signed “hi.”

 “Hi,” Jinx signed back cautiously.

 “You look sad,” the girl signed — extremely well.

Jinx choked up. It was the first time she had used sign language with someone who wasn’t Ekko’s parents.

 “I’m sad,” she signed back.

 “Why?”

 “My boyfriend died,” Jinx signed quickly — then realized maybe that wasn’t child-appropriate.

But the girl just pouted, visibly saddened.

 “Do you want a hug? I like hugs when I’m sad.”

 “Sure,” Jinx replied without thinking.

The girl ran so fast Jinx nearly toppled as the small body crashed into her. Tiny arms wrapped around her neck, and Jinx hugged her back. She rested her chin on the girl’s shoulder and inhaled… and froze. A strong smell of paint. Her heart stopped for a few seconds. Only one person in the world had that smell — someone always covered in paint.

 “Ah! Found her, Mel!” Silco yelled from the doorway, exasperated.

The girl didn’t react — meaning she definitely couldn’t hear. Jinx gently pulled away from the child as a woman she didn’t know hurried to the door, looking worried.

“Oh God! I’m so sorry,” Mel began apologizing, but Jinx ignored her.

 “What’s your name?” Jinx signed to the girl.

“Isha,” the girl signed back, smiling. “And yours?”

 “Jinx.”

And for the first time in months, Jinx didn’t have to force a smile.