Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Gavin Reed didn’t know when working at a 24-hour laundromat became the most interesting thing about him.

Back when he was in high school, he was part of the track team, and despite his unfriendly expression, he was quite popular back then. He was also pretty sure that he was top three of his class in middle school – at least, he knew his teachers always set him as the example of his class, which made all the boys hate him, and all the girls were intrigued by him. Funny, he thought, that even though he had many friends all throughout his life, he never really started a conversation with anyone at all. He would normally live his life as usual, and then at some point someone would come to talk to him, and all he had to do was talk back. That was easy – perhaps, too easy. As the years passed, Gavin realized he...didn’t know how to talk to people, how to start conversation, how to make friends.

Naturally when he moved out of his city to go to college, his social life came to a halt.

It couldn’t be helped. In his search to follow his mother’s footsteps, Gavin turned to criminal justice to become a detective. Apart from community college, his hometown didn’t offer him what he was looking for. It wasn’t all that bad; he was excited for his life to begin. But out of all the things he considered when moving out, becoming an outcast wasn’t the plan. It took him a week in college to realize he...was awkward to a fault. If it weren’t for the teachers forcefully creating teams, Gavin was sure he would’ve been left out of all the activities for the rest of his college life. He found comfort in his hobbies – going for a run, playing videogames, secretly watching anime shamefully in his cheap, small – almost criminally small, apartment became his daily life. Other than going out for groceries, Gavin didn’t really do much outside.

Which is why he was absolutely baffled that he ran out of money so goddamn fast.

Cities were expensive, he always knew that, but how in the fuck did an egg cost four dollars? Gavin asked himself that question every day, and so did his mother, who kept sending him money every month to help him survive. Gavin quickly ran out of his own savings, and with the heaviest of hearts, he concluded the inevitable – he needed to get a job. The problem was, criminal justice was a hell of a career, and he barely had any time between periods to exist, so looking for a part time job was hard. He went everywhere, even considered...questionable places – like a crypto call center, but before he damaged his life forever, a miracle occurred. On one of his many job-hunting trips, where he was on his third energy drink, he saw God Himself appearing before his eyes...as a sign on a door. Without thinking much about it, Gavin rushed inside the establishment and said the magic words,

“I’m going to get evicted if I don’t have a job, so I’m...honestly a bit desperate, ha-ha.”

He begged, sort of threateningly, to the poor twenty-five-year-old manager who was also running on her fifth energy drink.

“We only have one position available,” She said. “I feel like you should hear more about it before you—"

“It’s fine.”

And just like that, Gavin had a job.

It was one hour away from his apartment, in the middle of nowhere – close to the expensive side of the city at least, and the only bus that took him close to it left him two blocks away. But he had a job, and it was a nice place. The customers were not, but when are the customers the good part about any job? While Gavin was a little surprised to know there were 24-hour laundromats, he was pleasantly surprised by how...easy his job was. Every day at ten p.m. he would check in, and all he had to do was sit behind a desk and offer soap, clean bags, and even some snacks to the people that came in late at night. Moreover, he could do homework while on the job since he would usually only get ten customers at max every night. He would clock out at six a.m., and then take the first bus back to his apartment where he would sleep the magnificent amount of three hours before his first class started.

After three months, Gavin’s natural dark circles were so heavy people believed he had...fallen to the wrong path in life.

Besides that, he had interesting stories to tell so it wasn’t all that bad. Since this establishment was in the rich part of the city, he met the most interesting characters of his life. Small artists that came to wash their...revealing, and colorful outfits. Producers that seemed fifty but were actually thirty. Other exploited college students that had no time to do laundry in the morning and had to do it at night. And on rare occasions, just normal people with nine to five jobs. Gavin had heard the most insane stories from all these characters; everything from witnessing crimes, to paranormal stories that happened in this ‘very same place’ because before it was built it was a ‘graveyard’, and he had even overheard phone calls of the messiest break ups, or the typical unhinged two a.m. conversation.

None of the customers seemed to pay attention to Gavin, and for the first time in his life, his awkwardness was his best shield.

After his year of working there, Gavin had become used to most of it. He had a perfect system set up; he’d use the first hours of work to do homework since he was the most awake at that time, and after two a.m. he would take sneaky naps at his seat, since it was the time with the least customers. Around five a.m. the customers would come back, and that was perfect to get him to wake up to take the bus. He had gotten used to bringing lunch every day, and he was trying to give up energy drinks for homemade coffee – everything just so he saved money. It was working wonders, the little nap he took at two a.m was truly life changing, and his entire day depended on it. He had taken a few less hours to handle the heavy work, but he was excelling in his studies as expected from his mother. Still, no friends, but he was so profusely sleep deprived that being an outcast was the least of his concerns.

Until one day a catastrophe occurred, and his perfect system was ruined.

Gavin remembered day zero like it was his worst nightmare, and he still clenched his fist at the memory. One peaceful, uneventful night, Gavin was staring at the last one a.m customer packing up his laundry to go home. On second thought, the customer was probably escaping the place after Gavin stared at him for hours, but he...didn’t care. Thing is, the guy was leaving, and Gavin was already rocking back and forth waiting to get a nap. His little purple pillow was waiting for him in his backpack, and his cozy gengar sweater would be the perfect blanket for today. He heard the little bell ringing as the guy walked out of the door, and for a moment, even the smell of overpriced soap was soothing him. He checked the time just to be sure, and a peaceful smile spread on his lips. He grabbed his pillow, patted it for good measure, and was about to lay down when he heard that sound straight from hell.

The fucking little bell.

“Ah—good evening, is it...still open?”

Gavin held in his actual response to say ‘No, I just like to sleep with the lights on in a fucking laundromat’, and instead, he lifted his chin, put on his best ‘I have totally slept more than four hours today’ face, and said,

“Yes.”

However, the moment he looked up to see the guy who had come in, he realized he was using a facemask and had the hood of his hoodie covering his head.

“Ah—” Gavin bit down on his tongue, twisting his lips slightly. “Uh—eh.”

His awkwardness came back to him like a slap in the face, being reminded of his limitations in human interactions, Gavin realized he barely talked to customers on this shift. When he tried to tell the guy he couldn’t wear a mask or hide his face, he felt like the devil himself was gripping him by his neck. Gavin cleared his throat multiple times, perhaps too loudly as he saw the guy tilting his head slowly to check on him and see if he was...choking. That only made Gavin look away, hiding behind his desk as he pretended to check his phone. He would much rather die than to speak with a stranger, but he supposed since he was getting paid to do it, he could handle the hassle. With a deep breath, and after practicing his words seven times, he looked up and lifted his chin enough to say,

“It’s not okay to wear a facemask.”

So, he would have to practice eight times from now on.

“Excuse me?” The guy, clearly confused, only tilted his head at him.

“The—facemask.” Gavin cleared his throat again and almost sniffed to pretend he was sick. “You can’t wear a facemask inside—like here, sorry.”

Maybe if the guy thought he had a fever his awkwardness would be more justified.

“And—and the hoodie—the...your hood.” Gavin hovered his hand over his head. “You can’t...it’s like, I just need to see your face.”

“You need to see my face?” The guy asked, as he started to sneakily put his clothes back into his hamper.

“No—no, I’m sorry!” Gavin stuttered, becoming aware of how badly all of this sounded.

After taking another deep breath and seeing the guy clearly creeped out and taking his clothes back, Gavin sighed quietly to himself and rubbed his eyes with his fingers. His awkwardness had always given him problems, but tonight it felt like it did harm, and he wasn’t okay with that.

“I’m so sorry, I’m very tired.” Gavin apologized, letting out another weak sigh. “Please, it’s company policy, we don’t allow people to hide their faces for security purposes...especially at this time of the night.”

The guy stood there staring at him, as if he was evaluating Gavin’s words meticulously.

“I see.” He said. “Do you have a lot of customers at this time of the night?”

Gavin, who very obviously wasn’t expecting to have a conversation, found himself parting his lips in silence for about three seconds before his braincells connected with each other.

“No.” Gavin finally managed to give a very well crafted response.

“Oh, well.” The guy looked back at the door, which only made Gavin feel cold washing down his spine.

Though just as he thought the guy was going to leave to another place, he put his hood down.

“I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” He said, as he took off his facemask. “I’ll keep it mind for next time.”

“Ah,” Gavin nodded slowly. “Yeah, okay.”

Then, he turned just as slowly to his pillow, looking away to leave the stranger alone.

“Holy fuck.”

A stranger who was, by no means, stranger to Gavin at least.

In his awkward journey of life, Gavin realized very early in middle school that he wasn’t attracted to girls whatsoever. It all started when guys started avoiding him because he had good grades and girls tried to get close to him – Gavin ended up feeling depressed because the guy he liked stopped talking to him. His mother was the one who helped him figure it out, as he didn’t really know why he was so sad because this one specific dude didn’t talk to him. Either way, Gavin was gay, and given his awkwardness the most he had done were drunk confessions and hook ups. He relied on social media the most to experience his sexuality without having to talk to people, and...the same way he watched yaoi series, he followed content creators that were also gay. In a very shameful way, as he followed them on an alternative account without any personal information.

Out of all the sexy men he followed, Nines Morris was the love of his life.

His crush. His parasocial little interest. Huge interest. The guy was huge at least. It all started in college when he found out about Nines’ model career, and helplessly fell in love with him. Gavin, of course, was one of the people that followed him on social media and stared at his pictures for hours, wondering how the guy was even real. Pale like a snowy-fairy-tale princess, with eyes bluer than the goddamn sky itself, and so tall Gavin needed to look up to meet his eyes. Priceless, incredible. While Nines didn’t really post videos or appear in interviews, Gavin had heard his voice before – which is why he was so shocked he didn’t recognize him. He literally replayed a twenty second ‘interview’ more times that he was willing to admit just to hear him. Gavin was a fraud at being gay – or so he thought. So, anyway, he had the Nines Morris right in front of him. A once in a lifetime opportunity.

Clearly, Gavin knew what he needed to do.

“We also have soap if you need.”

“Thank you.”

Offer him soap.

Gavin could be awkward, kind of dumb, and sort of parasocial, but he wasn’t the kind of man that would pester a ‘celebrity’ doing normal things because he liked them. Besides, he didn’t really have the social skills to become friends with him, scratch being friends, just talk to him. He also didn’t support the idea of taking sneaky pictures of celebrities because...that was creepy, and he...just made the Nines Morris almost leave, so he wasn’t going to go down that route. Instead, he decided to do the most rational thing...and just stare at him like he did at every other customer. He didn’t even use his phone to play because he was scared Nines was going to think he was taking pictures, so instead he did the only normal thing he could think of – clean his desk. At least that way Nines would see him busy, and he wouldn’t notice him taking sneaky glimpses at him for two hours.

It was the best two hours of Gavin’s life though.

After his desk was spotlessly clean and even the bathroom was too, Gavin came back to find Nines packing his clean clothes into his hamper. Gavin sat down on his seat and checked the time on his phone, mourning Nines’ departure, but indulging himself in the art of staring at the ‘love of his life’ for a couple of more minutes. After Nines was done packing his clothes, he made sure to check he didn’t leave anything behind before closing the drier. Gavin looked away before Nines turned back to him, grabbing his hamper and pressing it against him.

“Thank you.” Nines said. “Have a good day.”

Gavin found himself in a predicament, not knowing what charming thing to say, spiraling in real time as Nines started frowning ever so slightly at his silence.

“You too.”

At last, that was ‘charming’ enough to make Nines smile and walk away. As the little bell rung, Gavin waited some good thirty seconds before finally breaking his silence.

“Oh—oh my god.” Gavin stood up from his chair and raised his hands in the air, as if he was trying to get his blood flowing. “Bro, he talked. He’s so real he talked.”

Like it was the first time he was breathing, Gavin had to remember how to for a second.

“Oh, god.” Gavin inhaled deeply, placing his hands on his chest...very moved. “God, you’re gonna make me a believer.”

The ringing bell interrupted his very important moment, making Gavin turn back sharply and straighten his spine – hopeful, maybe delusional, that Nines had come back for something, but it was just some normal uneventful customer.

“Good morning...”

However, the presence of someone else made Gavin realize one awful, terrible thing. He slowly turned towards his phone, grabbing it hesitantly before turning on the screen and reading the time.

“Ah, well.” Gavin mouthed. “Gonna skip class today, I guess.”

He didn’t know what was funnier at the time. That one of the best things to ever happen to him would fuck up his entire day tremendously by skipping one little nap, having met the model he had been following for a year who he had a crush on in a fucking laundromat, or that he really believed he was going to skip class, as if he wasn’t an excelling student. Because by the time Gavin was home, he followed his routine as normal. He took a shower, laid down to sleep, and by the time his alarm rung...he couldn’t go back to bed. The sense of duty called him and he packed his things to go to class. It was weird though, even though he was so tired he didn’t sleep the entire day. Maybe it was the euphoria of meeting Nines that kept him wide awake, like he was keeping the most important secret of human kind to himself. Though, not surprisingly, as the day went on and he had something to eat...the sleepiness started to kick in.

If it wasn’t for the bus driver passing over a big bump on the road, Gavin would’ve missed his stop and skipped work that night.

“Okay...okay...” He mumbled as he clocked in. “It’s gonna be fine. Gonna be fine...”

Part of him knew, however, that it was not going to be fine.

Gavin did his early tasks as usual. He cleaned the machines and wiped the floors, and attended the initial customers that were there already. He shamelessly grabbed his pillow from the very beginning though, as he knew he would fall asleep sooner than he usually did. Every time a customer left, he would go back to napping and so on. By the time midnight struck, Gavin had probably napped a full thirty minutes in short periods of time, which wasn’t enough but it helped him not hallucinate for now. Today was Wednesday too, which was the busiest day of the week ironically. A lot of people did their laundry in the middle of the week, and usually Gavin was fine because the schedule was the same nonetheless, and time went by faster since he was busier.

But that night...what seemed to be a blessing turned out to be a curse in disguise.

“Good evening.”

Gavin wondered if the naps had been a hallucination, or if the sexy man standing at the door was.

“Evening.” Gavin mumbled, keeping his cool.

Not because he was cool, but because he was so incredibly tired that he couldn’t even use the muscles on his face.

There he was again. The devil in disguise, with those cold, blue eyes that could pierce his soul and drain his heart. Now wearing all black – black sweats, black hoodie, like he doesn’t know his pale skin looked stupidly hot like that. With his perfectly styled hair a little messy just so people didn’t suspect anything – as if his face sculpted by God Himself and all the angels working for Him could be overlooked by some bed hair. Gavin stared at him with spite, thinking about all the amazing qualities this man had, for a moment being conscious of his own lack of attractiveness – but mostly just appreciating the beauty of this man. Perhaps too much, as he started to realize his vision around the edges became blurry. Maybe he was too focused on Nines, and his brain was subconsciously blurring away the world around him just to admire him better.

Or maybe he was just passing out in his seat.

“Oh—what?” Nines heard a loud thud, and he turned back sharply to see Gavin laying face down on the floor. “Oh—oh my god, what the—?”

As Nines rushed to lift him up from the floor, he grabbed Gavin and helped him sit up, realizing he was still unconscious and wasn’t waking up. It was a predicament Nines wasn’t prepared for, as he couldn’t see an emergency number anywhere to call Gavin’s manager, or even a phone for that matter. Since he didn’t know his name, all Nines could repeat was ‘sir’ multiple times to try and wake him up, but it was pointless. Gavin was soundlessly sleeping in his arms, and despite all of Nines’ efforts, he couldn’t get a single response from him. Not a sound, or movement, Gavin was out. So, as he was dragged against his will towards this little side quest, Nines decided to do...the only thing he thought he could do.

He put Gavin’s little pillow from the desk below his head, and covered him with his hoodie while he slept.

“Do I call the police?”

It seemed that, out of the two of them, neither were the wisest or sharpest at social interaction.

“I mean...” Nines squinted at Gavin laying on the floor. “He’s...just sleeping, right?”

Just like that, Nines Morris continued to do his laundry...with a man, possibly dead behind the desk, because he would rather hang out with a corpse than call the police. But not really, because after two minutes of trying to do laundry again, he checked Gavin’s nose to make sure he was actually breathing, and when the coast was clear he went back to his laundry. Because yes, Nines Morris was a hot, sexy piece of ass that most gay men and women were obsessed with, but there was a catch. A little detail no one really imagined, given his public image and his presentation in general, Nines never came across as shy or introverted. Hot people weren’t shy, they were reserved, and mysterious. Though Nines knew the truth – he and his manager knew at least, because apart from him, he didn’t really interact with anyone. Society might call him reserved, but Nines knew who he was.

An awkward sexy piece of ass.

**

One hour passed, and the cold of the floor was slowly creeping into Gavin’s bones.

“Ah—choo!”

His own sneeze startled him, and he woke up in a blink.

“Oh—what the fuck?” Gavin sat up on the floor and looked around, still dizzy and not fully conscious. “Where the hell...what?”

“Hi.”

The familiar voice talking to him made him snap back into reality...a sad, horrible, and fucking terrible reality.

“Oh no.” Was all Gavin could say as he locked eyes with Nines, who was peeking over the desk.

“You...passed out.” Nines said, nodding slowly. “I didn’t know if you were...I did know—I mean, I knew you were not dead.” He eloquently phrased, which only made Gavin frown in horror even harder. “I knew you were okay.”

“On the floor?” Gavin asked, standing up with his pillow and the hoodie in his hands. “I mean, not like—okay, so you didn’t call anyone, I’m trying to...know.”

“No, no, no.” Nines shook his head. “I didn’t know who to even call like—you people don’t have phones.”

Gavin tilted his head to his right, and Nines tilted his head to his left, both repeating the absolutely not condescending ‘you people’ in their heads.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Nines let out. “Not like—you people like, the laundromat, I mean. Your boss.”

“Yeah, no...we don’t have phone.” Gavin said, clearing his throat. “A phone, because—I mean, why would you—uh...call a laundromat, right?” He chuckled nervously, and Nines...chuckled too, out of reflex. “’Can I order some soap?’ Like...”

Gavin was ready to pass out again.

“Yeah...” Nines seemed to be on the same page. “So, I just made sure you were okay, and I didn’t...I’m sorry for not calling anyone, I just thought you needed to sleep.”

“Yeah, no...it’s fine.” Gavin said. “And honestly, I think it’s uh...better that you didn’t call anyone because my boss would’ve...been...you know.” He cleared his throat, again, which ironically made him cough. “Mad. Like, at me, not at you.”

“No, yeah.” Nines hummed quietly. “It’s not good.”

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...”

“No, I mean—your job.” Nines nervously clarified. “You work so...late, it’s—not good.” He looked away, and so did Gavin. “You were super tired that’s like so—super...bad.”

“It’s just, I didn’t sleep last night...” Gavin nodded, cracking his knuckles. “I mean, I guess I don’t really sleep at night because I’m working—hah.” He dampened his incredibly dry lips. “It just was a—it’s—sorry that you had to do all of that.”

“No, it’s fine.” Nines raised his hands weakly. “It’s okay—really fine, so...”

“Thank you—sorry.”

“No, don’t say sorry, it’s okay.”

“Yeah—sorry.”

The two awkward men looked away for their own sake.

“Anyway, I was...waiting for you to wake up.” Nines said. “I’ll go home now.”

“Thank you very much.” Gavin mumbled shyly. “I hope I didn’t make you...stay here for too long.”

“Not at all.” Nines had only come here to wash socks, and they were ready thirty minutes ago. “It’s fine, I’m sorry that you were feeling so tired. I hope you can get some rest.”

“I will.” Gavin nodded, unable to look at him in the eyes for too long. “Next one is on me—ah, hah.”

Maybe Gavin had never laughed a day in his life, or he just didn’t know how laughing worked.

“Next one?” Nines frowned. “Next...time I pass out?”

Maybe Nines had never had a conversation before either.

“No, I mean, the...your clothes.” Gavin said, lifting his chin at the machines. “I’ll pay for them next time.”

“Oh.” Nines nodded, feeling blush covering his cheeks in embarrassment. “Ah—thank you, that’s very nice.”

The moment Gavin saw his red cheeks, something in his soul came back alive.

“Well—okay then, see you Friday.” Nines waved goodbye, stepping back. “I do—my laundry...on Friday, I mean. I usually do it on Tuesday and Friday but—I just had a lot of stuff I had to do...two rounds and everything.”

Nines was hurriedly taking steps back to get his hamper.

“Anyway, thank you.” Nines grabbed the hamper and turned to the door. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

Once Gavin was alone, he realized...another crucial part. Another blessing in disguise.

“Ah.” He still had Nines’ hoodie. “No—wait.”

Gavin was about to rush to the door to try and chase him, though he, once again, came to the realization that he was alone and he couldn’t just leave the place unattended. He stepped back and sighed, not knowing how he got into this situation in the first place. But, he figured that if Nines was going to come back to do his laundry on Friday then he would...see him, eventually. He just had to save his hoodie until they met again, that’s all. He would keep the hoodie safe. In his arms. In his backpack. When he went to sleep that night. And then he would wash it on Friday when he started his shift, erasing all trace of his scent from it. It was a perfect, not-creepy idea at all, and it was going to be okay. Gavin went back to his seat and laid down on his little pillow for some good thirty minutes before he...put on Nines’ hoodie.

Just because it was convenient.

“Man.” Gavin shook his head at himself. “What’s wrong with me, man?”

And because he might be a bit of a creep.

For the first time in a while, Gavin had the best sleep of his life once he got home. For no reason at all. It was just a coincidence that he was holding his pillow in his hands and cocooning himself in Nines’ hoodie, but it was just...life stuff. He felt so rejuvenated when he woke up that he thought he had an energy drink, but that wasn’t the case. He got in the shower, got ready for the first period, and just before he grabbed his backpack and left for class, he...looked at Nines’ hoodie from over his shoulder, like it was staring at him from the corner of his room, laying on his bed. Gavin took tiny steps towards it, like a cat approaching its prey, and very slowly grabbed it in his hand. Even though he was completely alone in his criminally small apartment, he still put on the hoodie while looking around like someone would see him.

He only found his reflection in the mirror, staring at him shamefully.

“Dude, okay.” Gavin said to himself, apparently. “How many times do you get to keep the hoodie of like, the love of your life, right?” He raised his brows at his reflection. “How many, dude? This is the closest we’ll get to world peace, so just enjoy it and shut up.”

After defending himself from his own delusion, he walked out of his apartment wearing Nines’ black hoodie very proudly.

That day in class was uneventful, like most things in his life. Gavin was tired and he was resting his cheek on his hand, paying attention for the most part because he was a genius in disguise of a very sad, awkward gay man. Hours kept passing, he was on his second coffee of the day, through the third period of today, until he realized...there was someone staring at him. Something that never really happened unless he looked like shit, and he was pretty sure he slept enough to not scare children on the streets. Gavin cautiously glanced to his right where he felt the gaze placed on him, and he met the eyes of a girl who was indeed staring at him from the second row below him. Gavin raised his brows in surprise, but since the girl looked away he didn’t bother holding the stare. Class would end soon and he needed to grab lunch before his last period. His ass was cramping and everything, he needed to stretch his legs.

As he was walking out of the classroom, however, someone stopped him by grabbing his shoulder.

“Gavin?” It was the girl from before, who he had never talked to in his life.

Yet, he had worked with her once in the first semester, and he still remembered her name.

“Tina, right?” He asked, and she hummed quietly, with a smile on her lips. “Yeah, what, uh...what is it?”

“I was just wondering...” She looked down to his hoodie. “Is this the CyberLife apparel?”

Gavin looked so puzzled it was obvious he had no idea what she was talking about.

“The—they’re so expensive, wait, what?” Tina chuckled nervously. “Or is it fake?”

“Ah—yeah.” Gavin nodded. “It’s fake.”

“Wait, seriously? It looks so real.” Tina said, grazing her fingers on the ‘LED’ – cyan lines that ran along the hood’s edge. “It feels so soft too.”

“Yeah, it’s just—very good, uh, fake, replica.” Gavin cleared his throat, stepping back. “Sorry, I need to have lunch, I’m...very hungry.”

“Oh, yes, sorry!” Tina raised her hands weakly in the air. “I just wanted to check it out, it looks really cool. I didn’t know you liked them.”

“I don’t...really.” Gavin said, not knowing why he kept engaging in conversation if he wanted to leave. “I just saw it and it was nice, and I liked it. I like...black...clothes.”

“Me too!” Tina smiled. “Especially CyberLife, like they have this line, the ‘Firewall’ line...where this hoodie is from, and they have one with a red LED that actually works and its so sick.” She sighed thinly. “It costs a lot though, like, even saving up for a year wouldn’t get me one.”

“Yeah...” Gavin scoffed nervously. “Super expensive, I guess.”

“How much was this one?” Tina asked, raising her brows in interest. “Where did you even get it? Maybe they have the others too. I’m fine with fake stuff.”

“I don’t remember.” Gavin said. “It was a gift, actually—I didn’t...”

“Oh, right...yeah.” Tina nodded, a bit disappointed. “Well, I’ll go check out downtown to see if I find it anywhere.”

“Yeah, maybe it’s...there.”

“I’ll tell you if I find it!” Tina patted his shoulder. “Bye!”

“Bye.”

In the series of events that Gavin had experienced this week, having a conversation with one of his classmates was more rare than meeting Nines Morris himself.

“Nah.”

Or not. Gavin would label it as the second most impressive thing that happened this week.

However, that exchange made him wonder if using Nines’ hoodie would grab attention to himself. More than he wanted at least. Talking to Tina wasn’t the most horrible thing on earth, but only because he ‘knew her’ from before. At least a little. What was he going to do if other people asked him about it? Lying wasn’t even what bothered him, it was talking to a bunch of strangers that felt like swallowing screws. To think about it, Gavin went to the bathroom and locked himself in a stall – or as he liked to call it, his ‘thinking corner’. He sat on the toilet lid and looked down to the vindictive hoodie, squinting at it like it was squinting back. He couldn’t help it; he was a victim of his own shameful needs, and if someone realized the hoodie was real and not a replica Gavin didn’t even know if they would believe it was a gift.

“How...much is this anyway?” He mumbled, pulling out his phone from his pocket to check the price on the website. 

If he wasn’t leaning his back on the toilet he would’ve fallen straight on his ass.

“Are you fucking—!” He pressed his phone against his lips, turning off the screen as if to get those unholy numbers out of his face.

Four digits under that stupid hoodie.

“I mean, of course he’s loaded, with a pretty cute sexy hot fucking face like that.” Gavin mumbled, almost spitefully. “But, why the fuck are you putting this stuff over some dude sleeping on the floor? Like throwing a diamond in the garbage, what are you thinking?!”

Despite his tremendous crush on the guy, all of a sudden it seemed like Gavin was lecturing him.

“Ah—man, why do I...what do I even do with this shit?” Gavin muttered, sighing heavily against his phone. “This has to be insured, like, fully covered too.”

As those words left his mouth, Gavin came to a horrible realization.

“Oh—my god what am I doing?!”

He had brought it to a college campus – also known as a wild jungle with unruly animals. An expensive hoodie that was worth more than everything he owned, from a very notorious celebrity that most people his age absolutely knew too. It was like shoving a piece of meat in a tiger cage, he could feel the starving animals devouring his fingers already, and God only knew how much time he had left before they broke through glass and killed him too. With sweat already falling down his forehead, Gavin stood up from the toilet and contemplated his possibilities. He could go home and secure the package at his apartment. He would have to be super careful on his way home, however, since it was possible someone had seen him with the hoodie already. Maybe they were even waiting for him outside the bathroom, ready to jump him and steal this diamond.

Ten minutes passed, and Gavin had finished directing a whole action movie in his head.

“Alright—okay...” He breathed out slowly. “Okay—wait, what if it isn’t real though? Like...LED? Does this thing have little Christmas lights?”

Gavin dropped his backpack on the toilet lid to remove the hoodie carefully – almost in slow motion. He checked the fabric, only then seeing the CyberLife logo on the right part of the chest. He rolled his eyes at himself, not knowing how he didn’t see it before. He checked out the edges of the hoodie, realizing there were lines that added texture to the fabric. As he grazed his fingers over the lines, his eyes began to narrow as he felt...the unmistakable sensation of plastic. Almost not wanting to, he turned the hoodie around and looked in the inner part, holding back tears when he saw a small white button next to the zipper. He exhaled slowly, pressing on the button and seeing the previously black, flat lines, turning into hypnotizing cyan lights. Gavin gasped thinly, looking up at the ceiling and nodding slowly at his discovery. He pressed the button again to turn it off, but that only made the lights switch mode as they began flickering.

“Shut up—shut up—shut up.”

And so, Gavin held what could easily be his heritage in his hands and wondered how he could bring it to safety before he was arrested.

He cracked the door open slightly, peeking through the thin gap to make sure the bathroom was clear. With the package secured in his backpack, he walked out as nonchalantly as he could from the stall. Even though he had no proof of it, he was sure someone had already seen him wearing the expensive hoodie. He stopped to wash his face, like he needed to make it seem like he really used the bathroom. Gathering all the courage he could, he walked up to the door and took a deep breath, nodding slowly as he repeated the plan in his head. He had a break after this period, and his apartment was about fifteen minutes from the campus. He was determined to leave the hoodie safe in his house and come back before his third period started, all he needed to do was run as fast as he could for fifteen minutes. If all his years on the track team were worth something, this was the moment to prove it.

The second period started, and for the first time in Gavin’s life, he was the center of attention.

“Mister Reed...” The teacher cleared her throat, raising her brows at Gavin who sat at the very last seat in the last row. “Is there something...wrong?”

The entire row could feel the table shudder the more Gavin rocked his leg violently against it.

“Mister Reed?” The teacher called again, frowning harder as Gavin stopped abruptly.

“I’m sorry.” He said, in a monotone voice. “I’m just tired.”

“If you need to...you can go out to get some fresh air.” She offered.

Despite her good intentions, she realized she was making the situation worse...when Gavin started sweating profusely and shaking his head very slowly.

“Or not.” The teacher chuckled nervously, making some students laugh with her too. “Okay—well, let’s start the lesson, shall we?”

It was official, Gavin thought, this might be the worst day of his life.

That second period felt like two hours in hell, consumed by flames slowly as he watched his skin wither. Or so that’s how it felt like to be stared at by his classmates during the two hours of class. Gavin didn’t know where to look or what to do with his hands, so he kept them firmly placed on the table, interlacing his fingers tightly, feeing sweat practically smashing them against each other. That, and the fact that Gavin’s posture was so stiff, lifting his chin ever so slightly, made him look...strangely focused. All of Gavin’s guesses were worse than reality was, his classmates thought he might be high on something or simply constipated, and they didn’t care enough to ask – but staring was done mindlessly. After all, even though Gavin wasn’t rocking his leg for the two hours of class, he kept such perfect composure it looked absurd. Weirdly elegant too.

It also didn’t help that the moment class was over, Gavin practically escaped the classroom like his life depended on it.

“What the hell was that?”

“Dude’s gotta shit real bad.”

Reality was truly much simpler than Gavin realized.

But there he went, running like a maniac through campus, with his dark purple backpack bouncing on his back with every frantic step, and a focused gaze that meant business with its intensity. Though in reality, at this point, Gavin wasn’t just running to drop the expensive package off at his apartment...he was quite literally escaping from his campus just to not be seen. The memory of his teacher’s confused frown kept repeating in his head, in a loop, and the sensation of having many eyes set on him made him feel like bugs were crawling up his spine. Gavin Reed would forever be amazed by his ability to get in predicaments like these, though even he had to admit this was new. After being an outcast for a year, Gavin was used to having a low profile so much that becoming the center for attention for two hours felt like torture.

At last, the anxiety and adrenaline made a fifteen minute run narrow down to eight.

“Jesus—fucking Christ.” He panted as he walked inside his apartment, grabbing his backpack in his hands. “God—dammit, someone fucking shoot me.”

With a spiteful groan, he tossed the backpack to his bed and rubbed his temple with his fingers, drawing circles on them.

“How the fuck do you...” He lectured himself, turning to the small mirror on the wall next to him. “How the fuck do you even do this, dude? What did you—what was I even thinking doing this shit?!”

He turned towards the vindictive backpack, stomping towards it.

“Big fucking deal!” He said as he opened it and pulled the hoodie out. “Oh—but ‘how many times can you wear the love of your—’...” He rolled his eyes at his...own impression. “I’ll beat you up, I'm going to beat you the fuck up.”

Gavin was fighting himself and somehow, he was losing.

“Oh my god.” He let out a heavy sigh, dropping on the bed, sitting as he rested his elbows on his knees and covered his face with his hands. “What am I even doing, man?”

Trying to process everything that had happened in such a short period of time, Gavin found himself staring at the hoodie instead. Soon, he was squinting at it.

“Get a grip.” He mumbled to himself. “Literally, get a fucking grip.”

Inevitably though, Gavin found himself unable to blame Nines at all for this. Mainly because...he didn’t do anything. But Gavin felt a bit better by punishing himself and cleansing Nines of his own stupidity.

“Alright, just...gonna wait till tomorrow I guess...” He rolled his eyes at himself. “How can you even...leave something like this just like that, like what?”

Just then, another dreadful thought struck Gavin’s mind.

“Oh...no...”

He had actually worn this hoodie.

“Oh,” When he pressed it against his nose, he confirmed his worst fears. “No, no, no, please.”

It absolutely smelled like him.

“How—how do you...” He quickly pulled out his phone from his backpack and typed out furiously, “How do you wash clothes with lights?”

The moment he read the first result, something in his chest fell, and something in his ass stung.

“Okay.” He chose to turn off his screen. “So.”

The instructions said he needed to remove the battery from the hoodie and – obviously, Gavin would never try and manipulate something as expensive as his liver.

“He gave it to me.” He said, as he entered into the second stage of his crisis. “He literally put it on me. How is it not gonna smell like the same guy you—right? Yeah.”

Gavin was negotiating with himself after losing against himself. It was, once again, not going great.

“Maybe steaming it?” He narrowed his eyes as he evaluated his options. “Or just...get some Fabuloso on it?”

Yet, before his brain continued to enlighten him with great ideas, reality came back crashing down at him.

“Fuck—shit!”

A quick peek at his phone reminded him he only had fifteen minutes to go back to campus.

Gavin barely managed to grab his backpack and zip it closed again before running out of his apartment again. He stuffed his phone in his pocket as best as he could and, once again, beat his own personal record by getting to campus in seven minutes. He almost threw up and was dizzy as hell, matter of fact he didn’t recall the first twenty minutes of class at all, but he made it. Sure did. In any case, during class he also kept looking up how to wash clothes with lights without having to remove anything from it. He was reading those articles like he was reading a book from class, so his teacher didn’t really suspect a thing. His focus, however, didn’t really blur out the looks from his classmates who still stared at him with interest. Though really Gavin didn’t make it any easier; arriving into class at the last minute, running, panting, two shades lighter, it was only inevitable for people to wonder...if he had such intense diarrhea, he was draining himself entirely.

Gavin wondered why he had even bothered coming back to class at all.

By the end of the day, he realized he had barely paid attention to half of class that day, though he had taken various notes almost on autopilot. He figured he would read them later when he had time, if he...had time at all. During his intensive research, he came to the conclusion that handing over the hoodie as it was would be a much safer bet than trying to tamper with it. He had actually worked on his excuses more than solutions, but that still had distracted the entire day. After class, he managed to finally walk out of the classroom keeping a low profile, trying to do his movements as slowly as possible to not grab attention to himself. He walked to the cafeteria to grab a snack before doing homework and heading to work.

The fact that he ended up on Nines’ instagram profile while he was eating his sandwich was mere coincidence.

“Oh, you follow them...” He mumbled as he saw CyberLife in the list of people he followed. “I mean, sure you do, right? Makes sense, makes sense...”

Out of curiosity, he wondered...how many important people were associated with Nines in the first place. He just liked his pictures and bought some of the clothes he modeled in, but he never really bothered to check the brands themselves further. Also, he would never buy something as expensive as CyberLife apparel, that was lunacy. He would, however, check the CyberLife profile to see if Nines appeared in any of their posts. Just, out of curiosity. Nothing weird. Nothing gay also. Just scrolling for fifteen uninterrupted minutes as he tried to find Nines’ pretty, angelical face anywhere in the pictures. He’d stop from time to time to check out clothes he actually liked, but then he’d resume in his curious search for Nines.

Until his totally not gay investigation was interrupted.

“Hey—Gavin.” Tina emerged out of nowhere, Gavin even flinched when he saw her sitting at the table where he was. “Oh, sorry, did I startle you?”

“It’s fine.” Gavin said, turning off his screen as fast as he could. “Yes?”

Something about the tone of his voice made Tina chuckle, and Gavin, obviously, chuckled too out of reflex.

“I was just trying to see if you were doing okay.” Tina admitted. “I saw you...kind of nervous today or something.”

“Ah.” Gavin quickly felt cold sweat breaking on his forehead. “I think I was, I’m—so, I'm sick.”

“Oh, I'm sorry.” Tina said apologetically. “Yeah, I noticed you were super pale too.”

“I mean, always right?” Gavin chuckled nervously, though Tina laughed. “Yeah, sorry, I was—probably super weird all day, right? Yeah.”

“No, you’re good, I just wanted to check in on you.” Tina said sincerely, offering a comforting smile. “Also! To tell you I found them.”

Gavin put on his best ‘totally know what you’re talking about’ look in his eyes.

“They sell them at the bazar downtown.” Tina said excitedly. “I found the red one I told you about!”

Thankfully, it took Gavin a couple of seconds to actually know what she was talking about.

“Oh, really?” He raised his brows in genuine surprise.

“Yeah, I bought the red one and the orange one!” Tina said, her smile forming dimples on her cheeks. “I asked the guy if they had the other models but they said they run out of stock too fast.”

“Really?” Gavin said – choosing his only dialogue option at times like these.

“Yeah!” It seemed to work just fine with Tina. “And I also asked them if they had the CyberLife backpacks, and—actually, I took a picture of them, check it out!”

With limited dialogue options and all, Gavin ended up having a full-on conversation with Tina for the rest of his break.

It was easier than he ever thought, though he felt anxious the whole time. He would overthink himself intensely after every sentence, convinced that Tina was making fun of him secretly for repeating ‘really?’, and ‘oh my god’, amongst other similar sentences over and over. Tina though, she seemed to be enjoying herself, and despite what Gavin assumed, she thought he was an exceptional listener. It wasn’t like Gavin wasn’t actually listening – he was, matter of fact, he was genuinely interested in her take about fashion, an interest of his that he never got to talk about with anyone at all. He would even say he felt a bit embarrassed for liking fashion like that. Ironically, accepting that side of himself had been harder than accepting he was gay. Mostly because he imagined himself becoming a detective and walking into the precinct with really pretty coats and jackets, it made him wonder if people would take him seriously if he was like that.

Pretty clothes only looked good on pretty faces.

“Ah, is someone calling you?” Tina asked, peeking at Gavin’s phone screen resting on the table.

If it wasn’t for her hearing his alarm, Gavin might have blurred it out.

“Ah, no, no, that’s my alarm.” Gavin mumbled shyly, stopping it with a swipe of his finger.

“Alarm?” Tina tilted her head weakly in interest. “You go somewhere after this?”

“Yes.” Gavin let out, as Tina raised her brows expectantly. “Ah—so, I go to work.”

Gavin didn’t know what he was expecting, but seeing Tina drop her jaw turned his body rigid. She might as well have pointed a gun at him by how tense his face looked.

“You work at night?!” Tina whispered out, and Gavin nodded slowly. “Wait, are you kidding me?”

“Yes...” Gavin mumbled, grabbing his backpack sneakily.

“Wait...” Tina leaned forward with a curious grin. “What type of job?”

Gavin laughed out of nervousness, though Tina interpreted it much differently, which only made her gasp and grin even wider.

“No—no! It’s not...” Gavin could feel his cheeks burning. “I just worked at a laundromat.”

“Oh.” Tina blinked in surprise. “Wait, is there really a twenty-four-hour laundromat?”

“Yeah, yeah...it’s...there is.” Gavin was slowly putting his phone into his pocket. “So...”

“And where is it?” Tina tilted her head in curiosity.

“It’s, uh...like, Parkwood Manor?”

Tina set her hands down on the table sharply, causing a loud thud that echoed in the cafeteria and making Gavin flinch.

“Oh my god, wait, you really gotta go!” Tina let out, standing up quickly and snatching her backpack. “That’s super far away!”

“It is...yeah.” Gavin stood up, glancing at the few people that were still at the cafeteria, squinting at the noisy duo.

The moment Tina started jogging out of the cafeteria, Gavin felt an immense relief washing over him, following her just as hurriedly.

“Wait, but that’s like a super pretty place.” Tina said – jogging by his side to the bus station. “Isn’t that like a rich area too?”

“I guess it is.” Gavin nodded, taking quick glances at her.

He...supposed she was going to stop following him once they were out of the cafeteria, but apparently that wasn’t the case.

“Wait, so like do you know rich people like that?” Tina asked, wiggling her brows in interest. “Have you like, have you met someone cool?”

Gavin’s shy chuckle made Tina gasp again – and made Gavin flinch again.

“Who do you know!” Tina asked as they arrived at the bus station.

“No, no one, no one...” Gavin cleared his throat, glancing at the street. “I don’t really talk to anyone.”

“Oh.” Tina crossed her arms. “I mean, yeah, how many people even go to wash their clothes in the middle of the night?”

Gavin was obviously not going to speak his mind and respond, ‘the love of my life’, so instead he said,

“Weirdos.”

In his mind, he was apologizing to Nines profusely.

“Right!” Tina giggled, as they both heard the bus approaching them. “Alright, then, that’s yours, right?”

“Yes.” Gavin nodded, quickly pulling out his wallet from his backpack. “Well...”

Just as Gavin was overthinking about how to say goodbye, Tina – once again, proved to be the most convenient person on earth by stepping back as she patted his shoulder,

“See you tomorrow, Gavin!”

“Yeah—bye!”

The stars might have truly aligned, Gavin thought; during his second year of college, he had made one friend.

He hopped on the bus hurriedly, paying his ticket and clumsily making his way to the closest free seat. He dropped down on it and quickly pulled out his earphones to listen to some music, muffling down the chattering happening behind him. For a moment, the thought made him scoff. He and Tina were that little group making noise in a quiet space just a couple of minutes ago. While he had been super conscious of it, he didn’t really...find it annoying exactly. If anything, he thought it was odd. Odd for someone to find him suitable for a conversation when he rarely even opened his mouth at all. Yet, despite his overthinking, Tina seemed to have enjoyed the conversation with him. He wondered...why he had come to that conclusion only after the conversation was done, and not during.

He wondered if things would ever be that simple.

He always blamed it on his perception of things, and the way he focused his attention on his surroundings rather than himself. For example, he knew – with extreme precision, that at this time of the night the bus was mildly full; salarymen were just leaving work, people around his age were out for drinks, and only a couple of them were off somewhere for work like he was. It was like a TV show he watched, and questions would pop up in his mind as the plot went on. He wondered how so many people were actually relaxed on the bus, and how many people felt awkward like he did. He wondered how many of their schedules lined up with his, if there was anyone like him at all. And if there were, sometimes he wondered if they also...asked themselves so many questions in their heads. To the point of becoming the person they talked to the most. Maybe it was hard to find people like himself.

After all, Gavin knew he was a good listener, but he had never really known someone like him.

Whenever he saw a couple sitting together, gushing closely, giggling at each other, he wondered if they talked about anything important at all. He wondered if those giggles he heard were the result of a charged conversation or just meaningless banter. Whatever it was, it must be interesting enough to keep them glued to one another, hardly focusing on anything else but each other. If he glanced to his left, he would see them – a couple sitting side by side, mumbling something quietly and out of everyone’s range. A conversation that seemed so important and yet, could merely be a discussion of what to have for dinner. Though even that might be what was unknown to his reality, and all he could do was ask questions about it. Wonder how it felt to blook that natural, to feel that simple, to exist that carelessly and not so...awkwardly.

Gavin wondered, if he were to have dinner, what would he like, anyway?

“Parkwood Manor.”

No one else but him stood up from their seat, though he was also used to that.

The bus drove off, leaving behind a weak cloud of dust. Gavin covered his eyes with his hand and looked up to the street ahead, beginning to walk two blocks until he got to his job. He had barely gotten any homework done during his break, all thanks to Tina – but he tried not to feel bad about it. In a way it was...endearing, part of him thought his mother would be thrilled to hear he had made a friend. If he could call her a friend. For all Gavin knew, Tina might not really talk to him at all tomorrow, and he couldn’t really force her to. Besides, he might be too tired tomorrow from staying up all night doing homework, and people were already looking at him weird. Granted, if he hadn’t acted like a lunatic maybe people would treat him differently but, he was put on the spot. Maybe he wasn’t used to experiencing emotion that way, but he wished that didn’t make him act like a fool.

He supposed fools had a purpose too.

“Good evening...” He said as he walked into the laundromat, spotting his boss sitting with her bag on her lap.

“Hi, Gavin!” She stood up from her stool and stretched her back. “Oh—my god, today was busy! I hope you have it easier than me.”

Gavin simply smiled shyly and nodded, placing his backpack on the desk gently.

“Alright, so, before I go...” She cleared her throat, tapping on her purse with her fingers. “So...I was...I usually check on you...sometimes...just to see how you’re doing, you know?”

The moment Gavin heard that tactful tone of voice, he already knew what was coming.

“I saw the cameras last night and, I...” She dampened her lips nervously. “So, you didn’t...tell me what happened or anything...”

Gavin gripped his backpack, and even felt his spine straightening.

“I saw you passing out.” Her boss finally said, realizing Gavin wouldn’t...make a noise apparently. “I’m...very thankful there was someone here to help you, but you didn’t call me or report it to me and I...when we switched I didn’t even want to stop you or ask you questions, I wanted you to go home and sleep.”

Out of all the things that crossed his mind, his ‘catch phrase’ was the first thing that managed to come out of his mouth,

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no, don’t apologize.” She shook her head. “In case you don’t have my number, I wrote it down for you on a piece of paper...here.” She walked up to the keyword and slid it from underneath, tapping over it. “If...at some point during the night you start feeling sick, please contact me so that you can go home and sleep.”

“I’m okay.” Gavin quickly let out, almost alarmed at the offer. “It was just last night; I couldn’t really do anything about it.”

“No, yeah, I understand, you must have been exhausted.” She said. “I know that...sometimes you lay down and—”

Gavin could feel his lungs shrinking as he tried to take a deep breath.

“I’m so sorry.” He managed, letting go of his backpack to interlace his fingers together anxiously. “I remember you mentioned—I don’t fall asleep, I’m not sleeping, I’m still conscious it’s just that I close my eyes because they start burning and—”

“—okay, slow down, honey.” She raised her hands slightly, shaking her head slowly. “You’re not in trouble, Gavin.”

It seemed that those words didn’t connect in his head, as he still blurted out another,

“I’m sorry.”

“Gavin, it’s okay.” She reassured insistently. “You’ve been working here for a year, and you’ve never called in sick or been late at all. I know you didn’t mean to pass out—I don’t even think people can pass out on purpose.” She chuckled, hoping to lighten up the conversation. “I just wanted you to know that...I know you’re in college and sometimes it can get tough so we could work out a schedule where you get off work a bit earlier or something...”

Yet, with a gentle offer and all, Gavin still couldn’t shake off the dread in his bones.

“I’m sorry.” He still said. “Yes, I didn’t mention anything but because I didn’t want you to think I’m not...I’m taking this seriously, and I can do this job—I need this job.” He almost pleaded. “I’ll try to get my schedule in check, but I promise it was just that night. Tonight, I’m feeling fine.”

It became evident to his manager that, no matter how she tackled the conversation, Gavin didn’t really see things from her perspective or with her intentions.

“It’s okay.” She said. “Then, I’ll see you in the morning, alright?”

“Of course.”

“Goodnight, Gavin.”

It was hard to get through to people with such a fixated state of mind.

At last, the manager left the laundromat and Gavin finally went back to work. In a way, now that he was alone, he felt a bit more at ease with himself and his thoughts. He always had a feeling his manager checked in on him during the night, but he had to admit he didn’t think she had seen him passing out like that. She didn’t say anything, and Gavin thought – foolishly, that he was in the clear. Defeated, the awkward young man sat down on the stool and stared at the washing machines in silence, trying to cope with the overwhelming embarrassment. When he went back in his memories and repeated that day in his head, he knew everything had gone south because of his stupid – stupid heart. He could feel his cheeks getting red at the thought, but not out of excitement, it was just shame. Yes, he was starved of human connection, and yes, maybe not having a boyfriend for twenty-two years had something to do with it, but still. He wished he could get a grip on his emotions and do what he wanted with them.

For example, mute them completely.

“Big deal.” Gavin sighed, standing up from his stool to start cleaning. “Fork found in kitchen—awkward dude is a loser...shocker!”

Back in his hometown, was he also a loser?

“Shocker.”

Maybe.

That day had already been a rollercoaster of emotion, so Gavin was in a way grateful that he could decompress in a silent room filled with washing machines and detergent smell. It was soothing, kind of. Relaxing. This might have turned into a kind of a spa experience for him. He played music on the laundromat speakers, keeping the volume low as those were his instructions. Usually he would play whatever was popular, but tonight he thought about doing some self-care and putting on his favorite songs instead. Most customers came in with earphones anyway, they wouldn’t mind listening to some rock, metal, or punk music. If they did, he wanted them to just deal with it for one night. He felt like he had been beaten kindly all throughout the day. Being punished with both silent screaming and intense yelling somehow. Like he pressed all the wrong keys on the piano, when he didn’t even want to play the piano in the first place.

He didn’t even have a fucking piano, why was everyone insisting he play?

“Alright.” He took a deep breath, pressing on his chest tightly. “What a weird fucking day.”

Sometimes, Gavin thought he might be playing the wrong keys on purpose.

Just like his manager said, today was busier than other days. Busier than Gavin was accustomed to at least. At midnight he had over six customers while the usual were four, so he was...a bit more entertained. He did doubt about keeping the music going, but just like he thought, everyone had earphones on so they didn’t even pay attention to him when he offered them soap. He ended up offering soap for nothing five times – he gave up at the sixth. He didn’t complain though, in a way, he liked that his job didn’t involve him interacting with anyone, and no one really needed to interact with him at all. He started doing his homework after cleaning the restrooms, and by one a.m. he was mostly done with them. He supposed the stress might have helped him focus, but that was fine by him. After all, he had purchased a new game recently that he hadn’t been able to play.

People his age drowned their problems with alcohol, while Gavin did so by defeating Pokemon players at this new online Pokemon game.

“You have to pay for the hats? Are you serious?”

It was equally as expensive as a night out drinking though.

“Oh...my god...” Gavin was heartbroken as he stared into the gallery, his attention landing on the most amazing hat of them all.

A Club penguin tour guide hat.

“Gengar tour guide, come on.” He sighed quietly to himself, basically mumbling to not be heard by the customers. “I haven’t even fucking unlocked this purple motherfucker anyway, whatever.”

He had one earphone in to hear the incredible new soundtrack of the game, though he didn’t realize he was rocking his head weakly at it.

“Fifteen dollars, are they fucking insane?” He seethed. “Oh—thirty-five with taxes?! That’s a whole new hat, these fucking—oh my god.”

He decided, as a grown adult, to not spend that much money on a silly hat for his initial bulbasaur, because he didn’t need it to beat teenager’s asses online anyway. He pouted the entire match even after he won, since he was still pretty mad about it. It would take him a couple of hours to level up and unlock his Gengar but he was fine with it. He had already finished his homework and the customers seemed to know how a washing machine worked, so he could continue to bully teenagers online and level up. Before he knew it, his completely healthy technique of escapism had finally worked. Even better, customers left shortly after. He no longer thought about his manager seeing him pass out, or his entire class judging him for hours, or the unreadable look on Tina’s face and whether or not she enjoyed their conversation.

But of course, the universe was plotting against him and forced him to come back to reality again.

The ball rang.

“Good evening...” He mumbled mindlessly, with his eyes fixed on his phone – about to win another match with a possible twelve-year-old.

He was practically clutching his phone in his hands, even shaking his leg nervously as he saw his opponent’s Charmander drop to three HP.

“Good—good evening.”

Gavin glanced up very quickly out of reflex, just enough to acknowledge whoever had greeted him back.

“Good—” Gavin’s fingers forgot how to grab something, and his phone dropped on the desk.

As the sound of victory ringed in his ear, he thought he could also hear boss music somewhere in his head.

“Good...evening.”

Final bosses were never this pretty though; with make-up on that made his skin look smooth and like porcelain, an incredibly fancy blue jacket, and slightly oversized denim pants.

“Hi—yes?” Gavin put away his earphone clumsily, clearing his throat to try and meet this final boss’ gaze.

Nines, on the other hand, did think he might have come in too strongly or something, because Gavin looked scared.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Nines apologized, unable to not look at Gavin’s phone as he thought he recognized that game menu.

Yet, as Nines lowered his chin to have a better look and make sure it was the game he thought it was, Gavin couldn’t help but shrink in his seat, feeling watched.

“It’s okay.” Gavin said, dismissing it with a weak movement of his hand. “What can I—do you need help with, uh—the...”

“No, no, no.” Nines shook his head, quickly looking up again to meet his gaze. “I was actually here...for the...”

Discreetly, Nines looked over his shoulder to make sure there were no other customers apart from him.

“For the hoodie I lent you?” Nines asked quietly. “Do you...remember? The black one?”

The boss music did nothing but get louder.

“Oh.” Gavin couldn’t even hear his own thoughts. “No...”

“No, you don’t remember?” Nines raised his brows weakly, pressing his lips together shyly. “It was black and it had some...had a hood, and some lines around the edges...”

Gavin had lost before the match even began.

“Yes?” Nines whispered hesitantly.

“I’m...” Gavin looked down, staring at his phone screen. “I’m so sorry.”

Today already felt so stupid, and yet somehow it got worse.

“I’m...sorry for what?” Nines asked, tilting his head with curiosity. “Oh—oh, no.”

Gavin shrunk his shoulders even harder, preparing himself for when Nines would snap at any moment.

“You just lost it, right?” Nines whispered shyly.

Somehow, Gavin was more prepared to get yelled at than to see those sad, puppy eyes.

“What?” Gavin mumbled, lost in thought.

“No, it’s—fine, it’s fine.” Nines almost pleaded, holding his hands together against his chest. “It’s just—so the thing is it’s not even mine, it’s my—my coworker’s and I’m—so they’re really mad at me right now and I didn’t even remember where I left it, so I just—I can help you find it if you lost it but I really—really need it.”

Gavin didn’t have enough time to process what had just happened before Nines continued,

“I really...need it—did you lose it?” Nines asked, also lost in thought. “Did—or did you not?”

There were two people in this conversation and yet, neither were on the same page at all.

“No.” Gavin responded. “I—it’s just in my apartment.”

“Oh.” Nines lowered his hands quickly, wiping the sweat off on his pants. “Oh, that’s good, that’s good.”

Matter of fact, Gavin would’ve never guessed they could be on the same page at all.

“Yeah, I didn’t—it’s just home.” Gavin blinked, confused. “I’m sorry?”

“No, it’s fine—I’m sorry.” Nines sighed quietly in relief. “I just thought you lost it.”

“I didn’t...” Gavin shook his head slowly. “I just didn’t bring it with me.”

“Right, right.” Nines held onto his hips, chuckling nervously at himself. “It’s just my coworker, he was...” He tilted his head at the door. “He was just telling me you sold it or something and I was like, ‘no, he wouldn’t do that’, and then he started saying stuff and I was like, ‘so you can’t say that about people’, but he got really mad at me and then also at you, but I was like, ‘hey, he didn’t even do anything, I was the one who forgot’, and he was like, ‘you always forget everything, I have to carry spare keys of your house’, and it kind of hurt but I was like...”

Gavin didn’t know how long he had been parting his lips in silence.

“So—anyway...”

Nines didn’t know when he started rambling like a fucking lunatic.

“I’m sorry for bothering you.” Nines stepped back. “You’re working and I’m here saying—uh...stuff.”

“No—no, it’s fine.” Gavin raised his hands weakly, shaking his head. “I knew I had to bring it I just didn’t because you told me you were coming over tomorrow so I figured I could leave it home and wash it.”

Before Nines could say anything, Gavin stumbled on his words,

“Because it was in my backpack.” He let out. “So it kinda smells like me but not really, like it just smells of my stuff but I didn’t know how to wash it because it looked like it had something like with lights and I don’t have anything with lights and it’s—you know.”

Gavin chuckled nervously, and yet, seeing Nines stare at him in silence only made him keep rambling.

“Kind of funny, right? Guy works at a laundromat...doesn’t know how to wash a thing...” Gavin kept chuckling. “I do wash my clothes though—it’s just, the little lights don’t...they’re—yeah.”

He wished to suffocate in his own laughter.

“I mean.” Nines raised his hand over his lips. “To be fair, I also don’t know how to wash it.”

Gavin might as well tattoo the date of tonight on his chest, as the night he made Nines Morris laugh.

“It’s the lights.” Gavin mumbled shyly. “I don’t know what to do with them.”

“Water and lights.” Nines said, and Gavin nodded in agreement. “Right?”

“Right.”

Whatever statement that was, Gavin agreed with it.

“That’s how people kill themselves.” Gavin, clearly, had to make it worse. “With the—lamp and the—the toaster? In the tub?”

Yet, Nines was nodding too.

“Exactly!” Nines said.

“Exactly.” Gavin repeated mindlessly.

Against all odds and despite the nonsense, both suddenly were on the same page.

“So, when...are you coming over again?” Gavin asked. “Tomorrow? So that I bring the hoodie.”

“Ah, yes!” Nines nodded. “Like, at around two or three a.m., maybe.”

“Okay, yeah.” Gavin cleared his throat. “I’ll be here.”

“Obviously.” Nines let out without thinking.

For once, Gavin was the one frowning, and Nines was the one hearing boss music.

“I’m—so sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” Nines raised his hands nervously, shaking them quickly. “I’m so sorry.”

It had been evident yesterday, but today there was no doubt about it,

“It’s okay.”

Nines Morris might be just as awkward as he is.

“I mean, I will obviously be here.” Gavin chuckled quietly, unaware that he was relaxing his shoulders. “Imagine I get sick tomorrow?”

“No, stop...” Nines sighed a giggle, which only made Gavin chuckle even louder. “Please don’t get sick, I’ll...I’ll get in trouble.”

“I won’t—I don’t think I will anyway.” Gavin shrugged shyly. “I mean, maybe but even if I was sick, I would come to work—I always do, I’ve never skipped work, actually, yeah.”

“Yeah, me neither...” Nines mumbled. “But you’re not...so you passed out, but are you feeling okay?”

“No—yeah, yeah, I’m—yeah.”

“So, not sick?”

“Nope, no.”

There was something about seeing someone else panic while he talked to him that felt strangely...comforting. Reassuring in a way.

“Please, it’s just that my...coworker, he was really, really mad at me.” Nines said sincerely. “He was about to kick me in the face.”

“Oh god.” Gavin let out without thinking.

“Not really.” Nines chuckled nervously. “He doesn’t kick me—like not on the face.”

“What?”

“Like—not really, like as a joke.” Nines said, rolling his eyes art himself. “I—I’m sorry, I think I’m just...”

Gavin leaned back in reflex as Nines rested his arms on the desk.

“I think I’m tired.” Nines said.

Perhaps, today needed to be chaotic just so Gavin felt more inclined to do something reckless.

“Why?”

He would try to have a conversation with Nines.

“I just...I just got off work.” Nines responded, nodding slowly. “And then my...coworker asked me for his hoodie and I basically ran here to see if you had it, but.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I should’ve waited until tomorrow.”

“I mean...” Gavin was contemplating his words so intensely his head hurt. “Your coworker gave you a hard time, you felt...pressured, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess...” Nines mumbled, staring down at the desk. “It’s super...I don’t know if you like...know what it is...”

“A hoodie?” Gavin asked, making Nines scoff.

“No, I know you know what a hoodie is.”

Despite him making a fool of himself, Gavin was counting the times he had made Nines Morris laugh.

“I mean like, the brand?” Nines asked, his voice clearly hesitant. “Do you know that brand?”

“Ah—well, to be fair...” Gavin put his hands on his lap. “I didn’t know it, it was a...friend who recognized it.”

Nines pressed his lips weakly, leaning back slowly from the desk.

“Right.” He said. “Your friend.”

Gavin noticed then a slight shift in Nines’ voice – so clear it made him feel uncomfortable.

“Okay, I’ll be honest.” Gavin mumbled, looking away the moment he saw Nines’ face losing emotion instantly.

He didn’t know why, but it even felt like he had insulted him somehow. The only thing that made sense to him was that Nines knew he was hiding something from him, so naturally, Gavin knew there was only one thing left to do – tell a little bit of the truth.

“I had your hoodie with me, like I took it with me to my classes today.” Gavin confessed. “I was going to bring it with me to work, and I never go to my apartment after class...so I just took it with me...and then this...friend, she told me about the brand because she didn’t...I guess she didn’t believe I owned one of these, and I can’t blame her, I mean...”

Gavin raised his hands weakly.

“This is what I do to get some income, of course I don’t own one of these.” Gavin said. “But then I checked to see if it was real—because I thought it was maybe a replica or something, but then I saw the lights and I knew it was real, and I...panicked.” He nodded. “I ran to my apartment and left it there because I—okay, this is gonna sound stupid, but I really thought someone was going to steal it or something I mean—that’s—it literally costs more than my rent.”

Emotion was coming back to Nines’ face.

“So...I’m sorry for using it.” Gavin apologized. “I thought it looked really cool, and I was going to wash it, I just didn’t know...if I had known how expensive it was, I would’ve never worn it, I don’t think I would’ve even touched it.”

A loud chuckle escaped Nines, and Gavin felt it was like oxygen being breathed directly into his lungs.

“Touched it?” Nines asked between giggles.

“Well—” Gavin could feel heat blooming on his cheeks. “I don’t know, okay? That’s more than my entire heritage.”

“Stop!”

Gavin added ‘1 wheeze’ to the list of times he had made Nines Morris laugh.

“It’s not—okay.” Nines covered his mouth with his hands, hiding as he laughed. “Honestly, I don’t even know how expensive that thing is.”

“You don’t?” Gavin dropped his jaw, which only made Nines laugh again.

Slowly, Nines’ pale skin started to tint into a tender red.

“I don’t—okay? I’m—kind of everywhere.” Nines raised his hands weakly. “People say I get distracted a lot.”

“Well.” Gavin pouted slightly. “You kind of forgot a four-thousand-dollar hoodie just, somewhere.”

“There’s no way that’s four-thousand-dollars.”

“There is a way.”

“Shut up—that’s absurd.” Nines let out, quickly covering his mouth again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—mean to tell you to shut up.”

Gavin tilted his head when he noticed a pattern in Nines’ mannerisms – covering his mouth every time he felt like he said something wrong.

“It’s fine.”

He wondered if he also did that.

“Oh my god, four thousand dollars?” Nines mumbled, shaking his head slowly. “Why would anyone ever do that?”

“Do...what?” Gavin frowned.

“Buy a four-thousand-dollar hoodie.” Nines stated. “It should be a crime.”

“I mean, if you steal it then it is.” Gavin said. “It would be a felony, actually.”

“Felony Larceny.” Nines added.

“Yes—yeah.” Gavin chuckled shyly. “Ah—that’s funny.”

“A felony?” Nines frowned.

“The—no, you knowing the felony.” Gavin said. “People usually don’t even know what a felony is.”

“Are you calling me stupid?” Nines asked.

Gavin couldn’t even hear the sound of his beating heart.

“I’m kidding.” Nines regretted being reckless and trying to make a joke. “I’m—so sorry, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, I just—it’s just—your face was—so.”

“No, it’s fine.” Gavin dismissed it by waving his hands. “I was just saying, you know, I don’t know.”

“No, yeah, I get it.” Nines chuckled shyly. “I only know the name of it because it happened to my coworker too, he got a belt stolen.”

“A belt?” Gavin frowned. “How expensive can a belt be?”

“Six thousand dollars.”

Gavin choked on his own spit, and Nines flinched, rushing to pat his back.

“Sorry—I’m okay.” Gavin laughed between breaths. “Jesus—alright.”

“Yeah, it was insane.” Nines said, slowly stepping to the side of the desk. “But yeah, that’s why I know the name.”

“That’s...unfortunate.” Gavin admitted. “What happened to your coworker—not you knowing the name.”

“Right—right.”

The song in the background ended and switched onto a new one.

“Oh.” Nines instantly looked up, subconsciously nodding at the familiar beat.

“You know them?” Gavin caught on instantly.

“Ah—yes.” Nines tucked his hands inside his jacket. “I like that album a lot.”

“Really?” Gavin leaned forward without thinking, placing his hands on the desk. “Me too—what’s your favorite song?”

Just as their conversation seemed to be flowing naturally, it was interrupted by the sound of Nines’ phone ringing.

“Oh—sorry.” Nines pulled it out of his pocket, quickly stepping back to the door. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

Without saying anything, Nines basically sprinted out of the laundromat to answer the call.

“What the hell...” Gavin could see him outside still. “What the hell is going on today?”

Maybe not only the stars had aligned, but all the galaxies in the universe.

“How am I doing this?” He mouthed to himself, looking down at his phone screen still on. “How the fuck—what is going on?”

It was easier to think the universe had something to do with this, rather than accepting the world was simpler than he thought.

Gavin would’ve never imagined himself talking to the Nines Morris in person like this. He had made him laugh several times, he wasn’t really trying to make him laugh, and he was almost sure Nines wasn’t really trying either. He assumed his awkwardness was funny, but then he thought about Nines’ own rambling and considered...that maybe – just maybe, there was a possibility that Nines wasn’t...the guy he thought he was. Or at least, the one he portrayed himself to be online. But as the thought crossed his mind, he started to remember that Nines didn’t really interact online with anyone, and simply posted pictures with captions of the clothes he was wearing or tagging whoever was in the picture with him – adding a random emoji. It was odd. Every part of him was telling him Nines was, probably, just a normal guy that was actually a bit shy. He looked great, and had a baby face sculpted by the Gods themselves, but he also said nonsense like it was a sport.

Could it be, maybe, that they were...a little similar?

“I’m so sorry...” Nines interrupted his train of thought, walking inside the laundromat again. “My manager called me and—”

A little ‘similar’ his ass, Gavin thought, as he saw a luxurious car parking right outside the laundromat.

“Manager?” He let out without thinking.

Nines’ skin somehow looked paler, and his eyes widened in vivid horror. Some might say he had just confessed to a crime.

“It’s just—I’m not off work, really.” Nines admitted, clearing his throat. “So, I have to go.”

“Right.” Gavin hummed quietly. “Well. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, uh—” Nines tilted his head weakly. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I asked your name.”

“Gavin.” He responded. “Gavin Reed.”

“Right, thank you, Gavin.” Nines smiled shyly. “Nines, by the way.”

“Okay.” Gavin held his hands together on the desk. “Nines, then.”

“Yup.” Nines made a thumbs up. “Goodnight then.”

“Goodnight.”

As Nines turned around, he stopped himself before opening the door to turn back around and let out,

“Bring the hoodie tomorrow by the way.”

“Yes.” Gavin nodded firmly. “I will.”

“I just thought—you know, don’t forget!” Nines stuttered, clearing his throat as he desperately tried to look for a way to finish this conversation.

Until he found it.

“I like this song too.”

And with that, he escaped.

Gavin only saw him stumble outside and get into the car clumsily. The lights from the laundromat shined upon the car, revealing a purple finish with sparkles. Gavin’s eyes widened more, parting his lips when he heard the engine roaring so loudly it made the windows vibrate. He flinched and shot up his hands to the desk, spooked by the loud noise. However, as the noise died down and silence settled, he started to listen to himself again. His thoughts, like yelling little voices in his head, were all screaming the same thing over and over. Gavin could repeat this night a million times in his head and yet, he might never be able to understand it. Though really he felt that way about today in general. From beginning to end, nothing that had happened made sense at all. He wasn’t the kind to draw attention to himself, yet he had it the entire day. He never talked to anyone at all and yet he was glued to Tina for hours.

And he fucking talked to Nines Morris like he was just a normal guy.

“Should I buy a lottery ticket?”

Gavin considered the possibility of him existing in an alternative universe, and none of this being actually real.

“Oh—my god, are you fucking insane?!”

Nines, on the other hand, didn’t consider it, but he wished it was.

“I’m sorry, Nines, you were taking too long talking to this guy.” Clay said – his equally tired looking manager. “And you don’t even have my hoodie.”

“Why are you buying a four-thousand-dollar hoodie?” Nines let out, frowning in horror. “Are you clinically insane?”

“I don’t know, raising a twenty-two-year-old isn’t really what I signed up for.” Clay shrugged. “Maybe it’s all the sleeping I’m missing and the take out you’re ordering.”

“You’re being rude.” Nines crossed his arms. “And you flashed your car like that; I told you I didn’t want anyone to see you picking me up like that.”

“What was I supposed to do? You weren’t texting me back.” Clay admonished. “And—and, we’re already so late, sunrise is going to happen soon and you need to get ready, you know how Julia feels about you being late.”

“I’m never late!” Nines raised his hands defensively. “Dammit, here I was trying to find your stuff, and I’m getting shit on.”

“You’ll get sanded on.” Clay corrected in a monotone voice. “Close your mouth to not get any inside.”

“I hope I choke and die.”

“You might, you’re allergic to fish.”

“I’m not allergic to fish, I just.” Nines rolled his eyes weakly. “I just don’t know how to get the little bones out.”

“I prefer to say you’re allergic than to say ‘sorry, he’s twenty-two and chokes on bones’.” Clay raised a brow at him. “Which one sounds better to you?”

“Stop being mean to me, it’s your fault for buying a criminally expensive hoodie like that.”

“First off, that hoodie is a gift.” Clay emphasized. “Elijah Kamski himself gave it to me and you handed it over to some random guy at a laundromat.”

“He’s not random, he works there.” Nines said. “I didn’t just hand it over to someone walking on the street.”

“Well, it sure feels like it.” Clay shrugged. “Did he tell you what he did with it? What if he tried to sell it, Nines?”

“Stop it, no...” Nines sighed quietly. “He’s normal.”

Clay narrowed his eyes weakly, raising a brow in interest.

“Normal?” He asked.

“Yeah, like, you know...” Nines shrugged weakly. “He kind of, he doesn’t really...he freaked out when he saw how expensive it was.” He said. “He was joking with me saying that he...wouldn’t have ‘touched it’ if he knew how expensive it was.”

Nines chuckled quietly under his breath.

“I was like, ‘what do you mean you wouldn’t touch it’, it was dumb.”

Clay hummed – in a symphony that Nines knew so well.

“Oh, wow.” Nines raised a brow at him. “I can’t talk to a person?”

“Did he ask you for anything?” Clay asked. “Something?”

“No!” Nines shook his head. “I don’t even know if he knows what the fuck I do.” He shrugged. “At least I...hope he doesn’t.”

“Why?” Clay tilted his head slightly.

“Well.” Nines looked out the window. “People just get weird.”

Clay nodded slowly, seeing Nines’ reflection in the front-rear-mirror and realizing he was nodding as well.

“Was he nice then?” Clay asked.

“Yeah.” Nines nodded. “I was a fucking mess as usual, can’t talk without stuttering or oversharing, but he didn’t seem to mind.”

“Well, he did pass out and you helped him.” Clay pointed out. “Probably gave you some points.”

“I still was a fucking mess.” Nines sighed, rubbing his temple with his fingers. “I don’t even know what I said, at some point we were talking about how people kill themselves with a toaster in the tub.”

Clay couldn’t help but squint and turn to Nines discreetly.

“Are you sure this guy is normal?” Clay asked.

“He is! He was playing Pokemon Arena.” Nines whispered excitedly. “And he was listening to a song I liked too.”

“Convenient.” Clay mumbled.

“What?” Nines frowned.

“Maybe he knew you liked it and did it on purpose.”

“Not every single guy I know wants to traumatize me, you know.” Nines rested his temple on the window. “Also, he didn’t even know I was coming over tonight. I told him I only did laundry on Friday and Tuesday.”

“Mhm, might as well be careful anyway.” Clay insisted. “I don’t want you to get carried away again.”

Nines parted his lips to respond, though before his words left him he chose to turn to the window again.

“I just went to ask for your hoodie and he was nice.” Nines said. “You act like I went out with some guy to a sketchy place.”

Clay couldn’t help but sigh, slowing down as he reached a red light.

“I think I value your dignity more than anything else in your career.” Clay said. “I’ve prioritized your integrity over everything, I might be a bit paranoid and I’m sorry if I come across as overprotective, but...from past experiences, every time you’ve socialized with someone outside...your professional peers, it’s been from people who want a favor, or are interested in...acting, music...”

“Well, he doesn’t.” Nines said. “He goes to college.”

“And do you know what he’s studying for?” Clay asked.

Nines pressed his lips tightly together.

“I just want you to keep your guard up and be smart.” Clay said softly, driving away as the light turned green. “I’m sorry if I overstepped.”

“No...it’s fine.” Nines cleared his throat, closing his eyes. “Maybe I should nap a bit before we get there.”

“If you want to.” Clay nodded. “I have your eye mask in the glove compartment.”

Nines opened the compartment and grabbed it, scoffing weakly.

“Maybe you are raising me.” Nines said as he put it on. “Sucks to have a gay son.”

“Stop.” Clay rolled his eyes weakly with a smile. “Go to sleep, I’ll wake you up.”

“Thank you...”

Clay turned up the AC and reached back to grab a blanket he had in the backseat, tossing it over to Nines.

“I literally have a blankie in your car.” Nines whispered.

“I might ask your grandmother for papers already.” Clay said.

“Stop.”

As the ride went on, Nines started to relax and actually fall asleep. Memories of that day began to repeat in his head until he inevitably ended up replaying his conversation with Gavin. It seemed that his brain wanted him to repeat every single embarrassing conversation he had and cry about it, though he only twisted his lips at every shameful memory. He didn’t know why he had assumed Gavin lost the hoodie, but he assumed it was because Clay insisted Gavin had sold it and he didn’t want to believe that. Losing it was better, though it was still bad enough. He wondered why his brain took him to these places, only to get his questions answered right away. While he didn’t like to think about it, Clay would always remind him to be smart with what he said and play it safe. However, Nines knew he tried to look out for signs that Gavin knew what he did for a living and just didn’t find anything. If anything, it felt kind of comforting to know he wasn’t the most socially awkward – anxious person in the room. Maybe it was naïve of him to have expectations, but did make Nines wish he could have one friend.

Some said hoping didn’t hurt and yet, without them knowing, Nines and Gavin agreed it did.

Chapter Text

Nines Moris didn't know when his face became the only interesting thing about him.

He remembered when he was a kid there were a lot of things he was good at, and he would often be described as a ‘gifted’ kid, though even back then, as young as he was, he knew none of it was talent but instead, discipline. Very early in his life, his mother decided to start him off in the world of entertainment, after five years of being complimented over her son’s looks, she thought it would be wise to use that beauty that may or may not pass. By the age of six, Nines knew how to dance, had a personal trainer, and knew how to play the guitar. Once he was started off in the industry, Nines had never had a day off in his life. Even after his mother passed away when he was thirteen, he was financially able to ‘take care of himself’, though his grandmother was registered as his guardian, she was already showing early signs of dementia that would only worsen.

By the time Nines was fifteen, he was already fully independent.

Sometimes they joked about it, but Nines knew Clay was half-right when he said he was raising him. His previous manager dropped him when his mother passed away, and to his surprise there were many people who were interested in working with him. Of course, he didn’t know the intentions these people had behind them, though he always had a hunch. That gut feeling had saved him from associating himself with horrible people during that complicated period of his life, and like a miracle, Clay had appeared right on time. It also didn’t help that both of them had dark hair and blue eyes, the rumors of them being family spread like wildfire, though Nines didn’t really have a problem with it. During their first years of working together they grew fond of each other, and before Nines knew it, he was celebrating his birthdays with Clay.

Before he knew it, the only ‘friend’ in his life was...his manager.

It hit him harder when Nines turned sixteen, as his teenage years began, he started to crave connection from people around his age. He had been home schooled his whole life, his only experience with real school were the movies or the times they had a photoshoot at a high school to model uniforms and whatnot. Even his coworkers weren’t around his age, which only made him feel the most comfortable with people older than him. Clay realized pretty soon that every time Nines did coincide with someone young like him, he would suddenly...forget how to speak, or how to interact at all. He came across as reserved, even rude for some of them. They saw Nines speaking like normal to some of the most experienced and older models, and every time he interacted with younger ones, he would go silent. Some thought fame had gotten to his head, since Nines was one of the most experienced models in the field at such a young age.

Nines knew, however, instead of mysterious he was just pathetic.

He tried to make friends – harder than anyone would ever know. By the time he turned eighteen he forced himself to join more projects with young people, and he attempted to have conversations with them. But the moment he started stuttering, Nines would simply end the conversation abruptly and escape. It got a bit better over time, but he still couldn’t interact properly and let alone make a friend. His saving grace was that he barely had time to socialize, so he wasn’t reminded of his stupidity twenty-four-hours a day. His schedule had gotten busier as he grew older – and so did his muscles and his catalogue of skills. Now he could play the guitar, the drums, the bass, the piano, even the harp. He worked out three hours a day, with three different trainers. He received facials and massages often and wore a lot of sunscreens. When he wasn’t working on himself, he was working in general.

Nines was convinced he would forget to eat and sleep if it wasn’t for Clay practically tucking him to bed and ordering take out for him.

Until, somehow, that mess of a man managed to turn twenty-two, and his career was only going forward. Nines was ‘aging like fine wine’ according to producers and discussions about him becoming an actor were everywhere. Clay, however, tried not to pressure Nines into doing something he might not be comfortable doing. Nines had done a couple of commercials, but he never talked, and both wondered if he would ever be able to talk at all. Clay offered him a tutor to help him with public speech, but Nines was simply too overwhelmed and embarrassed to accept it. He was determined to figure it out himself, and so he had been looking for ways to interact with people his age without needing to look at them in the eyes. Secretly, Nines had been working on this issue alone since he turned eighteen, and now, four years later, he could finally see some progress.

Those many hours playing online videogames had finally paid off.

He was over the moon even during the photoshoot. Nines had never felt so proud of himself. He had never been able to keep a conversation that ‘casual’ with a stranger like that face to face. He had many conversations with strangers online, but he had never heard himself laugh like that with someone his age in real life. At least he assumed Gavin was his age, by the way he dressed and the way he talked. In a way, he thought it was perfect. They interacted at such an unusual place that there were no social cues to follow. It was a laundromat, they didn’t need to talk over dinner or talk about something in particular, they could just talk about nothing. Besides, maybe Clay was a bit right and the fact that he helped him out when he passed out had been a blissful ice breaker. Plus, Gavin seemed to like the same things as him too. He listened to the same underground rock band and played Pokémon just like him.

And more importantly, Gavin didn’t know who he was.

The truth was, Nines had tried to interact with people outside of his work place – usually online friends that met up with him in real life and ended up realizing who he actually was. Despite Nines asking them to keep the secret, they would go behind his back and brag about being friends with Nines, even posting pictures of him. Soon, the bragging would turn into expecting money from him – asking to have lunch and expecting Nines to pay. Others would show him their homemade music or casting videos; fully convinced Nines would help them out in the industry. It made for a rigid, closed environment in which making friends felt like a dangerous task, or a nonsensical challenge. A riddle that Nines needed to figure out correctly, even if the answer seemed obvious – and that was the challenge. Nines knew he could be naïve, but what was he supposed to do when people crafted a persona made solely to win him over?

Was he meant to distrust the world he so desperately wanted to belong to?

He understood Clay’s paranoia – frankly, he understood it to a fault. Nines’ social anxiety had, sadly, made it easier for him to fall in the hands of people who viewed him as gullible, or plain stupid. Growing up in the industry made it incredibly difficult to have a ‘normal’ personal life, since nothing about his social circles was common. They were people who viewed the world much differently than ‘normal people’ do, and possessed values that Nines had never really aligned with. Fame and vanity made individuals that, in his words, were shallow husks with human faces. Regardless of his inability to put his feelings into words, he understood what others felt clearly. Within time, he hoped to see right through their masks before they had the chance to drop it first. Though just like his social anxiety, that type of wisdom took many mistakes. Too many heartbreaks to understand when he was mistaking lust for connection.

Sometimes, Nines thought it would be easier to just rip his face off.

“Nines, wake up, we’re here.”

Some other times, he would remember he only had three hours of sleep.

“Sorry—I’m awake.” He startled himself, removing the eye mask sharply. “Jesus.”

“You slept well?” Clay asked as he turned off the car – having arrived at the underground parking lot of the studio. He opened the glove compartment for Nines to put the eye mask inside. “I ordered you coffee.”

“Thanks...”

Clay got out of the car as Nines tossed the blanket to the backseat, turning to his door to open it just as Clay did first. Nines scoffed weakly, making Clay frown with a tired smile on his lips.

“What is it?” Clay asked.

“You sure you didn’t want a daughter?” Nines snarked, seeing Clay roll his eyes. “Lesbian daughter would be better.”

“Would you knock it off already.” Clay closed the door as Nines exited. “Come on, they’re waiting for you.”

“I didn’t get the chance to take off my make up.” Nines said apologetically as the two of them jogged to the elevator. “I was gonna do it in your car, dammit.”

“It’s fine.” Clay waved his hand dismissively, pressing the button to call for the elevator. “Veronica loves to get in your face.”

“Could you actually not say it like that?” Nines frowned in disgust, making Clay scoff.

“She adores getting in your dimples.” Clay commented as the doors opened. “I feel like she puts on blush twice on purpose.”

“I don’t even need blush!” Nines argued as Clay pressed on the button to the last floor. “I’m so fucking pale just give me a minute and my anxiety will fluster the fuck out of me.”

“Hey, language.” Clay pointed to the ceiling with his finger. “Julia Murphy is here today.”

“I know...” Nines interlaced his fingers together. “Will you be there with me?”

“Of course.” Clay nodded. “We’ll grab breakfast with her though.”

“You’re kidding me.” Nines whined, shaking his head in annoyance. “I just bought a cape for my Salamence.”

“Is that one of your lizards?”

“It’s a fucking dragon.”

“I said language.”

The elevator’s quiet humming settled in the room for a moment.

“By the way, Harley and Talia are here.” Clay said. “If you want to say hi.”

“I don’t know Talia.” Nines mumbled shyly. “And I can hardly talk to Harley at all.”

“It’s fine, they’ll be working in the room next to us.” Clay nodded. “Just, if you want to go say hi.”

“Speaking of,” Nines frowned weakly, glancing at him. “You didn’t tell me who was working with me today.”

The humming intensified as the silence did.

“Hello.” Nines mumbled. “Mister Anderson.”

“So, about that.” Clay cleared his throat. “I kind of, don’t know that.”

“What.”

The elevator began slowing down as they reached their destination.

“Wait, what?” Nines was entering the first stage of a crisis. “You didn’t ask?”

“Of course I did, they just didn’t tell me.” Clay hissed quietly, tilting his head at the doors and fixing his grey blazer. “Man up.”

“What—”

As the elevator stopped, Clay had to physically lift Nines’ chin and push his shoulders back to straighten his spine.

“Good morning.” Clay said as the doors opened, Nines followed him closely as he exited the elevator.

“Good morning!” The crew greeted them, though most their attention was solely placed on Nines.

Nines managed to nod weakly and offer a thin smile.

“Manners.” Clay mumbled.

“It’s too late, if I say something now I’ll pass out.” Nines whispered, leaning closer to Clay’s ear.

At this point of his career, Nines was perfectly fine with people thinking he was an arrogant piece of shit that didn’t say good morning to anyone. At this point in Clay’s career though, he still wondered what he could do to help him say good morning to anyone.

“Oh—Nines, hi, honey!” Veronica said as the two of them walked into the dressing room.

Veronica and Nines were no strangers to each other. She had over ten years of experience in the field as a makeup artist, so naturally she had seen many promising talents sitting in her stool – Nines Morris being one of them. She had done Nines’ make up many times when he was a kid, and before she knew it, she had seen him grow up into the young man he had become. Nines always felt strangely comfortable around her, even when he was little. Perhaps it had something to do with the way she expressed herself so freely, changing the color of her naturally wavy black hair into whatever she wanted. She had chopped it up a couple times, but it still reached her waist. Nines always thought she was really cool, and on more than one occasion he had asked her to dye his hair a more interesting color – though that was a big no from Clay. Nines’ pale skin was a magnificent contrast with his dark hair and clear blue eyes. It was one of the bad things about being a model, he wasn’t really in ‘control’ of his appearance.

He wondered what was under his control, exactly?

“Oh, look at these dark circles...” Veronica teased as she started to remove Nines’ make up, having him sat on the stool in front of the vanity mirror. “A bit more and you’ll start getting casted for retirement commercials.”

“Oh, we’ll finally work on something together!” Nines teased back, raising his brows sarcastically and seeing her mock him by mouthing his own words back to him. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“You need to sleep, baby.” Veronica said, using more make-up removal. “I have naturally hooded eyes, I was cursed from birth.”

“Cursed?” Nines frowned.

“It’s the only reason I didn’t go into modeling.” Veronica nodded exaggeratedly. “That, and because I’m ugly, obvi.”

“You’re not—shut up, actually.” Nines argued, hearing Clay scoff on the sofa behind them. “I always thought hooded eyes are cute.”

“It’s okay to be wrong.” Clay – hooded eyed, Anderson said. “I was picked on because of my nose too, it was the perfect mix for disaster.”

“Right, and now you drive a Porsche and those suckers are stuck at nine to five-sies.” Veronica shrugged, pointing at Clay with her cotton pad. “Crooked nose or not, you’re making more digits than these bastards will ever make.”

“Yeah, yeah, tell them.” Nines giggled in a Machiavellian way. “Though I always thought your crooked nose is pretty.”

“Nines, honey, when people like you compliment people like us it doesn’t feel genuine.” Veronica said sarcastically. “We know what you’re thinking.”

“That you’re stinky and you don’t know how to drive?”

“I fucking know how to drive, alright, I took an Uber because I’m lazy.”

“...don’t know how to drive.”

Clay grabbed a water bottle from the snack table, taking a seat on the sofa again. This was the only peaceful moment they would get before work started, and the only time he would genuinely see Nines enjoying himself. Clay didn’t like it when people said he babied him, though part of him couldn’t help it. He tried to hide the fact that he didn’t know who they were working with because he didn’t want to stress out Nines more, only now he was the only one overthinking about it. He was glad that Veronica and Nines were this close and she could distract him a bit during work. However, Clay knew it wouldn’t last too long as he saw Veronica almost finished with Nines’ make up already. His clothes were ready next to the vanity, hung and ironed nicely. Clay didn’t notice he was rocking his leg anxiously as he chugged his water and even tried to take a sip when he had emptied it.

Ironically, the only one who always noticed what he did was Nines himself.

“Everything okay?” Nines asked as Veronica leaned away. “Clay?”

“Yes?” Clay raised his brows, attempting to drink his empty bottle again. “Ah.”

“What’s wrong?” Nines asked, standing up from the stool. “Are you constipated?”

“Maybe.” Veronica sang out as she grabbed her brushes and took them to sink in the corner to wash them up.

“I’m tired, I think.” Clay said, and Nines hummed. “Enough chit-chat though, get ready.”

“On it, on it...”

Nines grabbed his outfit and pulled the curtain closed, changing in one of the corners of the room. The temperature in the room was always cold, so they weren’t surprised to hear Nines sneeze when he started to undress. Veronica took a minute to wash the brushes and once she was finished, she sat down next to Clay on the sofa to wait for Nines to come out. She reached her hand to the snack table next to her, and grabbed a chocolate from the tray. She offered one to Clay who simply declined with a dismissive movement of his hand, checking the time on his phone and only rocking his leg even harder when he saw they only had fifteen minutes left before joining the crew again. He checked his email one last time to see if they had replied to him about who was working with them today, but felt disappointed when he realized they never reached back. Clay rolled his eyes, starting to get angry at their indifferent attitude...until he, mindlessly, checked the email he had sent the message to.

It had a typo in it.

“Fuck me.”

“What?” Veronica frowned, and Clay scoffed quietly, putting away his phone from his sight.

“Nothing, it’s just...” Clay shrugged weakly. “I guess I really need to sleep.”

“Maybe.” Veronica nodded, narrowing her eyes at the curtain where Nines was changing.

Slowly, she leaned closer to Clay little by little, raising her hand at him to invite him to lean in too, whispering as quietly as she could,

“Bryan Hyland is here.”

Clay clenched his phone so tight he heard something crack.

“You have to be kidding me.” Clay breathed out, though Veronica shook her head. “No—no.”

It felt eerie, Clay thought, just when he was trying to convince himself his paranoia wasn’t needed, the world seemed to want to prove him wrong.

“Guys,” Nines said, making both of them flinch. “I think my...so...maybe it’s too small.”

“Which part?” Clay asked.

“The...shorts.”

Nines opened the curtain, and Veronica had to look away.

“I don’t really think this is a selling point.” Nines said. “To the...brand, I mean. To me? Absolutely, but I don’t want people to look at my dic—”

“—hold tight, honey, let me get the bigger ones.” Veronica surged to her feet and walked up to a small closet, opening it and grabbing a bigger size. “I’m sorry, I thought you would fit...”

“It’s fine.” Nines grabbed them carefully and closed the curtain again “I’m gonna be freezing to death at the beach so my dick is definitely going to be—”

“—Nines, how about we keep use our inner voice for now?” Clay asked softly.

“That worked until I was fourteen.”

“It worked until you were fourteen?” Veronica blinked in surprise.

“Leave him alone—it’s not—it’s fine.” Clay patted Veronica’s shoulder, pulling her closer to him again as he leaned into her ear. “Who else is working with him?”

“I saw Greece Quinta—”

“—Oh, thank God.”

Clay let out a huge sigh of relief, pressing his hands together into a praying position, mumbling something to himself.

“Nines.” Clay called him. “Guess who’s working with you today?”

“Theo?” Nines asked. “He’s my favorite photographer, and his wife too, do you know they have six dogs together?”

“That’s fantastic, but no, Greece!” Clay said, hearing Nines gasp behind the curtain. “Yes, it’ll be great.”

“I haven’t seen Greece in a while!” Nines said, sliding the curtain open as he wrapped a robe around his almost naked body. “I thought she was in Mexico.”

“She was! She was...” Clay stood up too, placing his hand on Nines’ shoulder. “Alright, then, just stick with her today, alright?”

Veronica pressed her lips tightly together, staying in her seat as the duo started walking out of the room.

“Wait, why do you say it like that?” Nines raised a brow weakly. “What does that mean? What—wait.”

Nines stopped at the door, and Clay placed both hands on his shoulders, squeezing them tightly.

“Who else is here?” Nines whispered.

Without saying anything, Clay was already nodding very slowly, with a deadpan expression on his face.

“No.” Nines had developed telepathy when it came to Clay.

“I’m sorry.” Clay still deemed it necessary to apologize out loud.

Nines pressed his eyes tightly shut, containing the urge to rub his face with his fingers to not mess up make-up. He turned to Veronica, who turned to the snack table instead. Nines huffed quietly under his breath and began walking furiously to the studio, hearing Clay defeatedly walking behind him. It wasn’t possible to always decline job where Nines worked with people he didn’t like – or in this case, guys that had irrevocably broken his heart into pieces that would never fit like they did before. Over the years, Nines had gone out with many guys, but the only relationship that was ever public was the one with Bryan. Who, Nines would later discover, had only dated Nines for clout and it worked tremendously. People were invested in their relationship, until Nines broke it off when he found texts between Bryan and his manager where he talked in great detail about how exasperating Nines was to deal with.

So, safe to say it was a messy break up.

“Just stay with Greece...” Clay said as he managed to catch up to him. “Alright?”

“I will—I will.” Nines mumbled, sighing quietly. “I just—I wished I had known so that I could have prepared myself a bit more.”

“Nines, I know you’ll do great.” Clay reassured, finally getting Nines to slow down. “You’re a professional—twice the man Bryan will ever be. You’ll be cordial, graceful as always, and then this will be over and I’ll take you home, order you a grilled cheese, and let you sleep.”

“I thought we were going to have breakfast with Julia Murphy.”

Clay stopped as they entered the studio, standing still with Nines by his side.

“Okay, so.” Clay patted his shoulder. “If you’re still hungry after that—”

“Nines Morris?”

That cunning voice made the two of them rigid, like electricity running through their bodies and ceasing all noise in their heads. They turned slowly to their right, meeting no one other than Julia herself. By her side was her assistant and the photographer, who seemed to be eagerly waiting for Nines to start.

“Good morning.” Nines said – back to his professional persona.

“Good to see you.” Julia said, and Nines smiled charmingly, nodding softly. “If you’re ready, you have to be on your way already.”

“Of course.” Nines said, tilting his head weakly to Clay.

It was a quiet plea Clay knew so well, he could almost hear the ‘say something’ in the air.

“Let’s go.” Clay patted Nines’ shoulder and walked with him to the exit, following the photographer who was guiding them to the van.

Photoshoots like these ones were usually slower than usual, since they depended on the lighting from the sunrise they needed to be as precise as possible. Because of that, they usually hired highly experienced models for these tasks. There was a lot of crew too, which usually would make Nines anxious but today it was different. He was relieved to know there were going to be a lot of people with them as they worked, and it was possible there wouldn’t be many uncomfortable silences to fill with pointless talk. God knows he didn’t want to talk to his fucking ex of all people, though he hoped to catch up with Greece a little. Greece, just like him, had also been working in the modelling industry since she was a kid, though she had more acting roles than him in Mexico. She appeared in every commercial and even in some TV shows. She was five years older than Nines, and similar to him, she was openly queer and even had a wife. Nines saw her as a role model since he was little.

Another reason why Nines was pissed off about it – both he and Greece were skillful, experienced, and good people, but Bryan?

“Good morning.” Clay said as they finally reached the van waiting to drive them to the beach.

“Good morning.”

Nines got inside and sat down next to Clay, hoping to not make eye contact with anyone.

“Oh my god, Nines!”

Except Greece, of course.

“Greece.” Nines said quietly, though with clear excitement in his voice. “It’s very good to see you.”

“Hi!” Greece reached her hand out to him, sitting on the right row next to him. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing good, thank you. How are you doing?”

The van started the ride to the beach, and for a moment, Nines thought...that maybe everything would actually be okay.

“Rude, you didn’t say good morning to me.”

Until Satan appeared in front of his eyes, sitting right next to Greece.

“I’m sorry, Bryan, I didn’t see you.” Nines gracefully said. “Good morning to you too.”

“Heh, hi.” Bryan smiled, leaning forward ever so slightly to meet his eyes properly. “Oh god, are you taller again?”

“You two are still growing, it’s fine!” Greece chuckled. “But me? I’m going to be five-six forever.”

“I think Nines will carry you in one of the pictures.” Bryan said. “With one hand.”

“I mean, maybe!” Greece giggled, pushing Bryan weakly with her shoulder.

Nines felt Clay pulling him by his arm, and he leaned down closer for him to whisper,

“What a fucking bitch.”

Nines scoffed softly, lifting his hand over his mouth.

“So, Nines!” Greece went back to their conversation. “Are you studying something right now? Still in school?”

“I’m currently in a Performing Arts program.” Nines responded. “What about you? What have you been working on?”

“Oh! Performing arts, that’s very cool. Well, I’ve been learning German in my free time...”

This type of conversation was Nines’ specialty, being completely used to small talk like it was a career on its own. As awkward and socially anxious as he was, Nines knew how to socialize with his coworkers because he needed to. Besides, it was a mask, a charade that had nothing to do with who he was. Nines ‘the model’ was polite, charming, even ‘reserved’, while Nines Morris talked like a prick. Instead of charming he was oblivious, and instead of reserved he was awkward as hell. That’s why he didn’t have a problem talking with Greece all through the ride, engaging in a seemingly friendly conversation until they reached the beach. However, he couldn’t help but feel...a strange itch under his skin. An uncomfortable sensation he felt every time he needed to perform in front of someone that very clearly didn’t believe him. Because despite Bryan not taking their relationship seriously, Nines did, and he tried to show himself as genuinely as he could.

Now that did nothing but backfire, Bryan knew his confidence was performative.

“We’re here!” The driver announced, as the crew started unpacking quickly.

They had only a couple of minutes before sunrise happened, and they needed to be fast. The models got out of the van and basically ran to the beach, bearing with the cold breeze of the early hours of the morning. Soon, Nines realized Clay was the only manager around, as he couldn’t see Bryan’s or Greece’s anywhere. He guessed, however, that both Bryan and Greece were older than him, and maybe that’s why they didn’t need a manager to supervise them. But just as the thought crossed his mind, he would remember that he wasn’t...a teenager anymore, and he was actually of legal age. If he thought about it for too long it got depressing, and Nines didn’t want to deal with those feelings right now. At least not when he had to model swimsuits with his goddamn ex in an extremely romantic setting – with freezing cold water, but intimate nonetheless.

“Summer is in a month and we’re doing this already.” Greece sighed, making Bryan chuckle. “Can you believe them?”

“I can.” Bryan said as he confidently removed his robe. “I’m fine with it; I can handle the cold.”

Nines crossed his arms mindlessly, turning to Clay instead.

“Alright!” Yet, the producer grabbed their attention. “Okay, people, today we need to get as many shots as we can during sunrise. The theme is ‘Intense summer heat’, so what we’re going for are provocative poses between our cast members, using the height difference and the water to create visual tension...”

Nines’ performance was flawless, so much so it made his head ache. He wasn’t shocked or uncomfortable by the work he had to do. He had even kissed people he fucking hated because it was in his contract, he understood it was part of the job and nothing else. However, the moment he and Clay met each other’s eyes, they quickly understood why Nines and Bryan had been cast for this. It was a possibility at least, and knowing the industry they could be easily taking advantage of it to create media sensationalism. Seeing them pose provocatively together again was dramatic, and it obviously did numbers. While Nines didn’t really blame Clay for accepting this job – since it was for the most influential fashion designer Julia Murphy, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of annoyance at the guy. Though even those feelings were compromised, as Clay always did everything to take care of him.

Nines was a professional, and he needed to do his part too.

“...Mister Morris and Mister Hyland you’ll be using your height to tower over her, creating a silhouette...”

If he could handle freezing water, he could also handle his bitch of an ex-boyfriend.

“Mister Hyland, rest your hand lightly on her waist, Mister Morris you do the same on her shoulder...”

Even if his mere touch felt like worms crawling under his skin, Nines knew he was capable of this and much more.

“No smiles—we need focused, smoldering intensity in your eyes.”

The constant click of the camera echoed in their ears, along with the soothing noise of the tides hitting their bodies.

“Lift your hand Mister Hyland, arch your back more please Miss Quintanilla...”

At some point, Nines thought, his head tuned out that clicking noise completely.

“Perfect, people, perfect! Now onto the next pose before the sun wins us over...”

Maybe his body had also tuned out the cold too.

“...mister Hyland face mister Morris right this way.”

Was his mind just muffling everything?

“Closer please, let me see the sun in-between...there we go!”

Couldn’t his heart just do the same?

It was a pointless battle every time. It even felt stupid to be angry about it. Nines had done this a million times in his life, facing people that had hurt him with no emotion on his face. It was done on autopilot at this point. No thoughts crossed his mind as he stared ‘lovingly’ at this guy’s eyes. It was a performance after all; Nines had performed a million times in his life. And yet, each time, there was always something he couldn’t control yet. It would never show on his face, not a single muscle would twitch, not a single part of him would tense, but he couldn’t say the same about his screaming mind. Ironic, he thought, for a guy that could barely talk to people his age, his mind had a lot of things to say. Even more ironic it was to feel watched while he modeled for a living. He was used to strangers looking at his body in a provocative setting, and people touching him for long periods of time while they found the perfect shot. He just couldn’t quiet his head down, and the way it yelled every time Bryan laid his fingers on him.

He could quite literally be surrounded by water and yet, he’ll still feel dirty.

“O—kay, the sun is rising more, everyone, look alive! Look alive!”

This light touch might as well had broken a bone; no matter what Nines tried, it still hurt.

“Mister Hyland, Miss Quintanilla, rest your hands on Mister Morris’ shoulders please—exactly, now rest your heads this way—perfect, stay still!”

It burned.

“Stay still!”

It sucked.

After more excruciating minutes passed, the sun was finally rising to the point of changing the light completely. Even though it warmed the cold water, the illumination wasn’t nearly as good as it was before, and the models knew they had finally reached the end of the shoot. Sure enough, the producer finished the shoot shortly after, and one by one the models thanked each other by shaking their hands and sharing a kind, gentle smile. Nines didn’t have a problem hugging Greece in the water, though he made his handshake with Bryan incredibly brief. Clay, obviously, helped him escape that situation as soon as possible, almost getting in the water himself to pull him out and cover him with his robe. Nines shuddered weakly, feeling his bones cold. Greece was warming herself up with her towel, rubbing on her arms rapidly to get some heat. As for Bryan, he was casually texting someone while the producer and the crew members packed everything up.

“Are you ready?” Clay asked.

“Yes.” Nines responded quietly. “Let’s go?”

“Let’s go.”

“Ah—are you also going back to the studio?” Bryan asked, startling both Clay and Nines, who were absolutely not expecting him to talk to them so openly.

“We are, yes.” Clay responded.

“Cool, nice.” Bryan approached them, and Nines – subconsciously, stepped behind Clay to almost hide behind hm. “Are you also having breakfast with Miss Murphy?”

Nines cleared his throat weakly, covering his mouth with his hand.

“Yes.” Clay responded. “Are you?”

“Yeah, George is already waiting for me there.” Bryan said. “I thought you were going to stay with him, actually.”

“I prefer to join Nines during his shoots.” Clay responded, as they began walking to the van.

“I know, yeah.” Bryan scoffed weakly. “Babysitting him.”

Nines looked for his phone in his robe, only to realize he didn’t have it with him.

“How have you been?” Clay asked – deciding to take one for the team. “I haven’t seen you around much in the city...”

In the name of friendship, Clay decided to engage in conversation with Bryan all the way back to the van.

It was hard to not be amicable between people in the industry, as they knew it was better to keep a good environment for future collaborations – but Bryan fucked it all up a long time ago. Clay had always kept his professionalism over immature feelings, he disliked being pitied, as much as he disliked Bryan he managed just alright. He preferred to do it this way instead of putting Nines on the spot, though he was already feeling something looming on the horizon. He didn’t know Bryan and his manager would attend the breakfast with Julia Murphy, and that usually meant only one thing. They had probably set them up together to see their chemistry in pictures, and Clay knew Julia had always been fond of Nines and Bryan together.

Clay also knew that if he had already figured it out, there was no way on earth Nines hadn’t.

By the time they were back in the van, Nines leaned closer to his ear and confirmed what Clay already knew,

“I’m so fucked, aren’t I?”

Clay would have obviously used different words, but,

“Yeah.”

The message was still the same nonetheless.

The ride back to the studio was in complete silence, a bit surprising considering Bryan seemed to want to talk to them before. Greece had left already in her own car to Nines’ demise, so it was only the three of them and the crew members in the van. Clay was trying to calm his nerves and think about what he would say during the breakfast, though more than that, he was thinking about how Nines was feeling. He kept glancing at him over and over to check on his expression, but all he found was a deadpan face as usual. Nines’ discomfort was hardly ever evident when they were in public, and this was no exception. As for Bryan, Clay could tell he looked...even relaxed, which made sense considering his disgusting personality and horrible values and morals. It was easy to be nonchalant when he was a piece of crap.

It was also easy to enrage a father if they messed with his son.

“We’re here!”

When the doors opened, Clay waited for Nines to hurriedly walk inside the studio, choosing a corner of the elevator far away from Bryan just so the two of them didn’t touch or even face each other. In theory it should be easy – both Clay and Nines thought at least. They just needed to smile and agree with whatever was said, as usual. They were repeating that in their heads already, even without saying a word to each other, they were already on the same page. After Nines took a shower and changed into his clothes, Clay had already gone over his usual script to handle awkward breakfasts like these. Even Veronica was still there to offer moral support after finding out Bryan would be at the breakfast too. Nines looked paler than usual even after eating one chocolate bar and drinking water. But it was already six a.m. and they had spent about two hours taking pictures on the cold beach, so his bad shape was justified.

His bad mood too.

“If he says one stupid thing,” Nines looked directly at Clay in the eyes. “I will beat him up so hard I’ll ruin his career and mine.”

“Okay.” Clay held his shoulders tightly. “How about you don’t?”

Nines huffed quietly, nodding slowly.

“It’s fine.” Nines whispered. “You can find another bimbo to manage.”

“You’re not a—Nines, shut up.”

Veronica gently patted Nines’ back, grabbing his attention.

“It’s going to be fine.” Veronica said. “And hey, it’s good food and you just have to sit there and be pretty, so just sit there in silence, alright?” She hummed quietly. “If you have time next Friday I’ll take you out to dinner.”

“Oh.” Nines’ gaze lit up again, which made Clay relax his shoulders instantly. “Yes, please, take me outside.”

“We’ll check your schedule.” Clay said.

“I am free on Friday.” Nines threatened with his finger. “Or else.”

“Fine.”

Veronica lifted herself to kiss Nines’ cheek gently.

“See you then!” She said, walking up to the door.

“Bye!” Nines chirped.

“Thank you, Veronica.” Clay nodded.

Once she left and they saw the door open, the duo turned to each other in complicit silence.

“Don’t say anything unless she asks you a question directly.” Clay said.

“You got it.” Nines was thrilled.

And just like that, Nines was set to survive the most awkward breakfast of his life.

To his surprise, however, It wasn’t going as horribly as he thought it would. Julia Murphy wasn’t much of a talker, but her Marketing director and producer were, so they were the ones conducting the conversation entirely. Bryan and George – his manager, didn’t really talk either, but rather agreed with most of what was said. Out of the two managers, Clay was the only one who asked the most questions about the predicted summer collaboration between Bryan and Nines, who also weren’t shocked to hear it. In a way, it helped that they had already guessed it, as Nines had already processed his disgust while he was taking a shower. As for Bryan, the guy didn’t even seem to care about the fat paycheck he would get over this collaboration, he was just eating food and nodding every time George said anything – which, ironically, made Nines feel so much better since he got to eat in peace at least.

While most people started their days at eight a.m., Nines was close to ending it.

“It’s possible you’ll be flying off to California in two months.” The Marketing director said. “We haven’t confirmed the runway’s location, but we want to give you a heads-up so you adjust your schedules.”

“It’s confirmed they’ll have to fly off, correct?” Clay asked.

“Yes, the runway won’t take place here.” The producer nodded. “It’ll be a quick trip though.”

Julia reached for her glass of white wine, raising her brows slightly as she took a sip, her eyes switching from Nines and Bryan.

“It’s been a while since you two worked together on anything.” Julia said, opening the gates to hell apparently. “I’ve seen your work separately though,” She lifted her glass weakly. “Yours especially, Nines.”

It took Nines a moment to remember he was being talked to.

“Thank you.” Luckily, he remembered how to speak just in time.

“I was wondering,” Julia continued – holding the most intense eye contact Nines had ever experienced in his life. “I’ve seen...Bryan here, for example, starting off with commercials, I believe I saw you in a music video too, right?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Bryan responded, discreetly pushing his shoulders back. “Five to this day.”

“That’s a delight.” Julia said, sipping from her wine. “My question was though, Nines, how come I haven’t seen you in any lately?”

The professional mask felt like the uniform Nines wore to work, so naturally doing extra hours inevitably made him feel...itchy.

“I’d say it’s been both problems with our schedule and contract issues.” Nines responded. “But it’s not ruled out.”

“Contract issues?” Julia raised a brow in interest. “Well, that’s an interesting way to put it.”

“Nines has been working under the same terms and conditions for years, and it’s...expected that as more studios, record labels...start their business, they’re interested in him, but aren’t willing to work with him.” Clay took on the lead. “I appreciate Nines’ time and experience to know when to compromise or not.”

“Oh, I know! I know.” Julia scoffed softly, resting her glass on the table. “I actually appreciate when there’s a unit instead of an unbalanced duo.”

“So do I.” Clay admitted.

“Well, to be honest with you, I’m glad we got to discuss this in person...with the unit together.” Julia said with a smile, raising her hands slightly as she pointed at them. “Word came around that Nines wasn’t interested in shooting videos at all.”

“Oh, is that so?” Nines chuckled softly – internally screaming. “Who is this Nines they’re talking about?”

As everyone at the table charmingly laughed, Nines was calmly taking deep breaths to steady his heartbeats.

“You know how it is, rumors in the industry spread faster than wildfire.” Julia said, shrugging weakly. “But now that you’ve cleared the air...” She tilted her head at her Marketing director in silence.

Nines could feel his torso tightening so hard, he was cramping.

“There are talks about a collaboration with an artist for this summer campaign.” The director explained. “We’ve already confirmed Bryan’s participation in the video, which will actually be the center of the summer launch. Our vision for the music video has a second key role to complement Bryan, and we feel that Nines’ unique aesthetic would make for the perfect co-star.”

Despite Clay and Nines not exchanging a single look, they knew exactly what hid behind their composed expressions.

“Of course, we’ve worked together with you Clay, we know and appreciate the terms exactly as they are.” The director said, leaving the cherry on top.

“It’ll be streamed globally.” The producer added another cherry.

Suddenly, the table turned into a wild jungle and Clay could feel the eyes of predators hunting them down, staring at them intently. He quickly understood why Julia had briefly interrupted the conversation and had asked Nines the most ‘important’ question herself – her taking the lead would clearly put more pressure on Nines to comply, and, clearly, he did. While what Nines said was true, the real reason behind him not appearing in many videos was his social anxiety, which was basically treated as a ‘family secret’ between Clay and him. However, in this showdown of jaguars versus monkeys, Clay knew declining the offer would for sure build tension between them, and the last thing Nines needed was to be shadow banned from future collaborations with Julia Murphy.

So, instead, Clay decided to juggle around.

“When would the video take place?” Clay asked.

“Next Wednesday.” The producer responded. “Two hours from here in a venue.”

Clay twisted his lips ever so slightly – as if to appear reluctant to show his discontent.

“Is something wrong?” Julia, not surprisingly, caught on immediately.

“I’ve booked Nines for the entire next week already.” Clay responded. “What time is the shoot?”

“It’ll be four a.m. to seven a.m. to use the sunrise.” The producer said. “We could pick Nines up if you need.”

“Transporation isn’t the issue.” Clay kindly clarified. “But...I should be completely transparent with you, I would need to verify the logistics of that day, I don’t want to overwork Nines.”

“Of course.” Julia said, nodding slowly. “How about I call you tomorrow? Do you think you’ll be available?”

“Of course.” Clay smiled. “Anytime you need.”

“Well, thank you!” Julia scoffed thinly. “First time I’ve heard that today!”

The jungle of a table joined together in a group laugh and in each exhale Nines could feel pieces of his soul slowly escaping him.

It had been a brutal assault – one kind, gentle, but ruthlessly premeditated. Nines and Clay didn’t exchange a word for the rest of the breakfast, though by the time it was finally finished, they still walked in silence to Clay’s car. It was a somber silence, almost mournful. Nines got into the passenger seat and grabbed his blanket without thinking, as Clay began driving away with slow music playing in the background. The further away they were from the studio, the easier it became to breathe. Working with Bryan was already a low blow, they both could agree on that, but shooting videos was a whole other thing. They knew chances of them being intimate were on the table – be it, kisses, hugging, or simply being erotic with each other. While Nines was an incredible performer, posing for pictures was easier than to actively ‘play pretend’ with someone. Maybe it would be easier if it was someone else but Bryan, which was another casket to this funeral. Both knew why Bryan and Nines had been chosen for this – the pictures were already a cautionary tale of what was yet to come.

By the time they arrived to Nines’ house, either of them was yet to say a word.

“You know I’ll never agree to anything you don’t want to do.”

Clay’ silence revealed to have been a break solely for Nines to think about things.

“You don’t need to give me an answer right now.” Clay said. “Not even tomorrow.”

“You know that’s not true.” Nines said. “She said she’ll call you.”

“But she’s not your manager, I am.” Clay reiterated. “And she’s the one who wants you in her summer launch, not you. She can wait.”

Nines scoffed softly, tilting his head weakly at him.

“You’re so media trained.” Nines whispered with a giggle, though Clay shook his head. “You lie so good.”

“I’m not lying.” Clay said. “We don’t have our hands tied, so let me manage, and you just think about things, alright?” He reassured gently, unlocking the car. “Go to bed.”

“Alright...”

“No Pokémon.”

“What did I even buy that cape for!” Nines let out sarcastically, hearing Clay scoff.

Nines opened the door and got out of the car, leaving his blanket on his seat. Before he closed the door, however, he turned around and leaned down, peeking his head inside the car.

“Thank you.” Nines said. “You made it...a lot easier.”

“It’s okay.” Clay responded. “That’s my job.”

Nines looked down to the blanket with an exaggerated lift of his brow, asking sarcastically,

“Was my blankie in the little letters of your contract?”

“Go to sleep, Nines.”

Clay busted out a chuckle, shaking his head while crinkling his eyes. Nines made a peace sign before closing the door, grabbing his keys from his pocket to open the main gate. Nines’ house was a small two-floor modern house with a small garden between the gate and the main entrance. Clay waited until Nines walked inside his house to drive away, something he always did and subconsciously made Nines feel like he had a timer to get inside his house. It couldn’t be helped, after so many years together, Clay worried about Nines living alone since he was a teenager, fearing all kinds of things. The chances of being followed, paparazzi, stalkers, to simpler things like a messy house, unhealthy diet, and more. Nines rejected having a house maid or a personal chef, simply because he disliked the idea of ‘feeling useless’ and not having anything to do in his free time – though he barely had free time, and his house was indeed messy.

Besides, he always did the same thing whenever he had free time.

“Okay.” Cry to decompress. “Alright—okay, it’s okay. It's okay.”

He’d press his hands against his face tightly, feeling the pressure somehow comforting.

“Jesus fucking Christ, fuck.” He sniffed, walking upstairs to his bedroom. “It’s fine, it’s fine...”

Nines pushed the door open weakly and dropped onto his black sheets – comfortable, insanely expensive, and very absorbing.

“If they make me kiss that motherfucker, I'm going to kill myself.”

Perhaps Clay had a reason to be worried over Nines being alone for too long.

It wasn’t that bad, though, since Nines was so unbelievably tired that he passed out with tears still falling down his cheeks. It was his main coping mechanism, probably not the best, but it never failed him. The life in the industry was messy and had a lot of unnecessary stressors, and in Nines’ case it aggravated his social anxiety and caused him to have meltdowns almost every day – but Nines would never complain. He simply felt like he wasn’t allowed to, given his easy lifestyle. Nines would sleep all throughout the morning while other people were stuck in an office instead. His bedroom had blackout curtains, his bed had the softest cotton sheets, and his AC was always running. Nines had the certainty that no matter what time he woke up, he would have food in his fridge and a comfortable sofa to play any videogame he wanted. He was aware that his complains were too simple, and perhaps that made them...easier to forget.

As easy as it was to hear nothing in silence.

**

It was ten minutes to midnight by the time Nines woke up.

“Ah, fuck.”

With fourteen missed calls from Clay.

“Shit—dammit.” Nines sat up sharply on his bed, not even giving his soul time to come back to his body before he was dialing Clay’s number back.

After merely three seconds, Clay picked up the phone.

“One of these days the police will break into your home and scare the crap out of you for not answering the phone.” Clay said in a monotone voice charged with both relief and disappointment. “Nines.”

“I know!” Nines sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. “I’m sorry, I didn’t...I was just very tired.”

“I understand that, but you need to eat.” Clay said. “I don’t know how much spoiled food you have in your fridge.”

“None.” Nines mumbled – remembering he had thrown it all in the garbage three days ago. “Anymore...”

“Right.” Clay hummed quietly. “Michael called me.”

A cold cascade went down his spine, making Nines instantly shrink.

“I missed training...yeah.” Nines whispered apologetically. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Clay reassured gently. “I meant, Michael called me and I got worried when you missed training. I just wanted to make sure you were just...maybe playing Pokémon and didn’t see the time.”

“It happened once.” Nines mumbled defensively.

“Three times, but who’s counting?” Clay eloquently argued back. “Anyway, please take a shower and go have something to eat. It’s late.”

“Yes, mom.” Nines sang out lazily, hearing a weak chuckle on the other side of the line.

“Call me if you need anything.” Clay said before ending the call.

As the line disconnected, Nines could hear that noise again.

“Alright—let’s play some music or something...”

Stillness in his house sounded like a quiet hiss.

Sometimes he wondered if that was the reason why he liked to listen to loud music in his sound cancelling headphones, or if it was just a coincidence. For someone so socially anxious like Nines, the stereotype said he should like calm and quiet spaces, but that had never been the case. He stood up from the bed on wobbly legs, feeling them atrophied after curling around his pillow for hours in a freezing cold room. He turned off the AC in his bedroom and walked to his ‘office’ that was more of a gaming room than anything else. He grabbed his headphones and disconnected them from his microphone, connecting his phone via Bluetooth to listen to his latest favorite album. As the music started blasting, he went downstairs to his kitchen, trying to think of what exactly he had in his fridge. Like he had come back from hibernation, his body was remembering it needed to eat to stay alive. Hunger was making his stomach rumble, making Nines whine quietly.

As he was heating up pasta leftovers in his microwave, the next song started playing.

“What time is it...?” He mumbled, as he checked on his phone.

Without him realizing, listening to the same song he heard with Gavin reminded him he needed to do laundry.

Despite Nines insisting he didn’t need anyone to help him around the house, the truth was he could benefit in certain areas...but he just didn’t think it was fair. He had been raised to be self-sufficient from a very early age. Not even when his mother was around did he feel like he depended on her, it was the other way around in some ways. But now that he was older and busier, the one thing he always struggled with was laundry. He had a washing machine that he absolutely hated - a gift from a director that he obviously accepted, but it was so unbelievably difficult to program, and it didn’t even leave his clothes properly clean. After Nines struggled with it for a year, he decided to go back to basics and do his laundry somewhere else. He preferred it in a way; it gave him an excuse to go outside at least. It was the type of mundane normalcy Nines missed. There was something weirdly comforting about sitting in a room full of people whose only focus was their laundry.

Or at least, most of them.

“Wouldn’t have even touched it.” Nines was giggling quietly to himself. “Seriously...”

Perhaps, even Nines’ focus had briefly shifted too.

Memories of yesterday came back to him without realizing, and soon he was repeating it all over in his head. It was probably the strangest thing that had happened to him this week – that didn’t creep him out or make him have a meltdown at least. Though he guessed that wasn’t all true, since he did feel a bit creeped out the first time Gavin talked to him. It wasn’t his fault though, Gavin worded everything so wrong it wasn’t a matter of him misunderstanding things – it was just that Gavin wasn’t making any sense, and that somehow felt reassuring. For once he wasn’t the one stuttering in a conversation, and he even remembered laughing at some point. It was like they jumped from one thing to another at the same time, though in their case it was from one awkward page to another. It even made Nines feel bad at this point, since the first time Gavin talked to him he was absolutely sure he knew who he was, and he wanted him to remove his facemask just so he could take pictures of him secretly.

What a horrible thing to assume.

It couldn’t be helped though, Nines had dealt with bastards his whole life, he was better off assuming everyone had hidden intentions than to accept there were good people out there. His standards of 'good’ guys were that they played Pokémon and listened to the same music as him apparently. But not really, because Nines knew better and he was going to keep his guard up anyway. Just like Clay said, he would be smart and sharp, and he would take everything Gavin said with a grain of salt. He wouldn’t let himself go with the flow just because he was a bit excited over a potential friend. He wouldn’t even call him a potential friend actually – they were strangers still. Strangers who happened to play the same nerdy game and listened to the same underground music. He had met a million Gavins online and he had never called them friends. Neither did they, he supposed. Some did but ghosted him after a while, so he didn’t like to count them as ‘friends’. Which was fine. He was grown enough to not get his feelings hurt.

He was just reminiscing about his every failed friendship for fun.

“Oh, fuck me.”

He was also obsessively imagining his upcoming interaction with Gavin – and coming up with five worst case scenarios already.

“What do I even fucking say about—dammit, Clay.” Nines removed his headphones and rested them on the table, rubbing on his temples with his fingers. “A fucking Porsche just parking outside a fucking laundromat at fucking two a.m. dude—what if he thinks I’m a fucking drug dealer or some shit?! What the fuck am I supposed to say?!”

Even though he had come up with five scenarios, he was entertaining the first one for now.

“And then the fucking hoodie.” Nines sighed heavily, emptying his lungs. “Fucking Elijah Kamksi and his fucking mom—who the fuck makes a four thousand—four thousand, dude. That’s stupid, that’s illegal.”

He said, in his five-hundred-thousand-dollar house.

“Manager can mean a lot of things.” Nines said, now negotiating with his own worst-case scenarios. “I could be a sex worker.”

He was making them worse.

“I could...be a...” He started squinting. “...retail worker? With a Porsche? Are you fucking kidding me, Nines?”

He was about to start a fight with himself.

“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “Do I, or do I not need to lie?”

He had moved onto gaslighting now.

“There’s a lot of models who are just normal people.” Nines nodded weakly, rolling the last cherry tomato with his fork. “I am normal people—person, and like—dude, he’s gonna know. With the fucking hoodie, and the time I go, and the son of a bitch fucking Porsche.”

He stabbed the tomato with his fork violently – splashing crimson red on the plate.

“I mean, what if he just doesn’t care?” Nines mumbled, dropping the fork on the plate. “Yeah, I take pics but no biggie...” He said, doing an...impression of himself. “Cause like, what do I even say to him? How do I explain that whole thing without making Clay look like—my fucking pimp?”

It was possible Nines had watched too many movies.

“He’s gonna ask.” Nines said, interlacing his fingers together in his lap, resting his back on the seat. “There’s absolutely no way he doesn’t ask. I know I would.”

It might be the silence of his house echoing back his own words into his ears.

“Would I?” He frowned. “I mean, why would I, really?”

Somehow, it almost seemed like the answers were echoing back to him too.

“Fuck no, I wouldn’t.” Nines said, victoriously surging to his feet. “The fuck do I think I am? When have I ever asked a fucking question, actually?”

He chuckled nervously, grabbing his dirty plate and walking up to his kitchen.

“So, just...keep it cool.” Nines nodded as he gently left the plate in the sink. “Quiet, chill, calm, zen.”

Almost moving on autopilot, he started washing the plate.

“He could also just not give a fuck.” Nines continued with his monologue. “There’s literally a lot of guys that don’t give a fuck about fashion or shit, also why would he care? He’s working there and I'm just...there. We don’t even see each other anywhere else, like. And he’s got college too, does he even have time to be like...probably not...”

Nines was mindlessly washing the rest of his dirty dishes.

“What does he even...study, actually?” He asked in a mumble. “Probably like...he’s a nerd too so like, maybe an engineer?”

As the water kept running, the stillness’ constant hissing began to deafen.

“Why would he care?”

Despite there being no noise, Nines couldn’t help but try and find it.

“Alright, just.” He turned off the water. “Get the fucking hoodie and get it over with.”

It made him wonder if it was curiosity or obstinacy.

He could talk to himself all he wanted but Nines would always come to the same conclusion every time. He was a master at overthinking, and he could make a situation ten times worse than it actually was. It was pathetic and it made him feel like an idiot, but he was too used to himself to even be surprised. But that wasn’t what was making him feel stupid right now. He realized he started off by reaffirming what Clay told him to do, knowing perfectly well all the ‘rules’ he needed to follow when it came to interacting with people, and yet – there he was. Mindlessly getting excited over the slim possibility of making a friend. Not only that, he was creating movies in his head about him asking Gavin questions and expecting him to reciprocate the attention back. The guy was working the night shift at a laundromat, why did Nines ever think he would be in the mood to entertain any of this shit?

Why did Nines think Gavin would like him in the first place?

Chances were he was just being polite because he forgot the hoodie, also because he passed out and he helped him, so he was just being nice because of that. Nines continued to dwell on it as he took a shower, feeling even worse than he felt before. It made him feel desperate and naive, even ridiculous. The little excitement he felt now felt like waves of shame. He tried to melt the embarrassment away with hot water, but it caused him to get dizzy in his shower. By the time he was getting dressed, he could feel dread looming in his mind. Suddenly, the thought of meeting Gavin again didn’t feel exciting anymore, it felt straight up nauseous. He thought they had a lot of things in common just a couple of minutes ago, now he felt like he was meeting a total stranger for the first time. As he packed his dirty clothes in his hamper, every item felt like a pinch in his ribs, making him whine quietly.

Before he knew it, it was close to being two a.m.

“Get the hoodie, clean your shit, and go home.”

The moment of truth had begun.

He packed his hamper in the backseat of his car – a very casual silver Versa that didn’t grab as much attention as Clay’s Porsche. He didn’t realize he had worn all black again, like his mind was subconsciously telling him they were mourning something already. The ride to the laundromat was about twelve minutes, but Nines was going so slowly he might get there in half-an-hour. He was trying to come to terms with his own anxiety and blame it only on what happened yesterday – trying to make it as simple as possible to not stress himself more than he should. He was almost convinced Gavin wouldn’t ask questions because he wouldn’t either. He knew that if he walked in with a weird face he could make things worse, so he was really trying to fix his nervous grimace. He was wiping the cold sweat falling down his forehead with his wrist, attempting to silence the self-loathing that came after being attacked by his worst insecurities. He repeated to himself that things could be simple – that they were meant to be easy. Gavin might have even forgotten he was even coming in the first place.

Like a sword in battle, Nines unsheathed his hamper and went in, accepting whatever crude fate God had for him.

“Good evening.” He said, as he weakly rested his hamper on the bench before the washing machines.

Contemplating his final moments, Nines didn’t dare face his fate.

“Ah—good—fucking, ow!”

His fate had stubbed his toe as he sat up from his seat.

“D—ammit.” Gavin was trying his hardest to not tear up.

“Are you...okay?” Nines raised his hands mindlessly, as if he had hurt Gavin somehow.

“It’s fine, I just...hit my fucking—sorry, toe on the...desk.” Gavin cleared his throat, casually hiding the teary look in his eyes.

So casually in fact, that he was resting his arm on the desk, and leaning his body on his side, making a perfect curve.

“All good.” Gavin casually said.

“Right, so.” Nines stepped back in reflex. “Gavin.”

“Nines.”

“Yes?”

The background music became the only noise in the room for some good five seconds.

“Yes.” Gavin snapped his fingers at him. “The hoodie.”

“Yes.” Nines lifted his hand weakly, about to snap his fingers back but choosing not to.

Simply because he was being smart and sharp and not getting carried away.

“I tried to steam it a bit.” Gavin said as he grabbed his backpack and rested it on the desk. “It...I honestly don’t know if it works, I've never steamed anything in my life to like...to clean it, but it—so I read it works, and I think it doesn’t smell that much anymore...”

Gavin pulled out the hoodie from the backpack, packed in a brand-new cardboard box, very – very carefully.

“Oh.” Nines blinked, stepping forward slowly. “What’s that?”

“The hoodie!” Gavin chuckled shyly, clearing his throat as he handed the box over. “I put it in a box because I—so I steamed it just so it didn’t smell like me but like, if it was gonna go in my backpack again, I thought it was...like, it didn’t make sense, you know?”

“A box?” Nines whispered quietly as he grabbed it, tilting it weakly. “It looks like a...”

Yet, the moment he realized he was about to make a joke and call the box a ‘present’, he bit down on his tongue and cleared his throat quietly, nodding thankfully at Gavin as he opened the box.

“I thought...it was too much.” Gavin mumbled shyly, picking at the skin around his fingernails. “My...friend Tina she said if I was going to buy a bow or something...hah.”

Nines was about to chop his own tongue in half with his teeth as he tried not to laugh, because he was smart and sharp obviously, so instead he quietly scoffed as he pulled out the hoodie sharply from the box. Perhaps a bit too sharply, as Gavin flinched slightly and stopped himself from trying to grab the hoodie again.

“I’m...sorry for...forgetting.” Gavin said. “I hope I didn’t get you in trouble with your...coworker.”

“No, it’s fine.” Nines stuffed it back in the box, leaving it inside his hamper. “He didn’t mention it again.”

“Ah, that’s good.” Gavin nodded, trying to smile yet seemingly forgetting how to – ending up coughing instead. “I just was—today I was thinking about you...getting in trouble because of me, and I was...feeling stupid because I did want to bring it but I ended up leaving it and it was so stupid, I mean—I’m...I was pretty stupid, right?”

As Gavin started to scoff anxiously, Nines found himself trying not to laugh with him.

“Yes.”

However, that only made him agree emotionlessly with Gavin calling himself stupid.

“...o—kay.” Gavin tapped the desk and turned a step back. “I’m...sorry.”

Nines was confident there were not enough words in the English language to salvage this situation.

“No, no, no, no...” Luckily, Nines didn’t need that many words to express himself. “Oh my god, I'm so sorry I didn’t mean—” He tripped forward to the desk. “You're not stupid, I’m not calling you stupid.”

Clearly, the best way to make Gavin understand he wasn’t insulting him was by cornering him at his desk and pointing at him with his finger.

“A—Are you sure?” Gavin stuttered, for once – being the smarter one in social cues.

“Yes!” Nines let out, seeing as Gavin only made himself even smaller in his seat.

Only then did Nines realized he was pointing at him, and he slowly lowered his hand to his side.

“Okay.” Gavin whispered, hesitantly straightening on his seat. “So...here.”

Still keeping some sort of distance between him and Nines, Gavin tucked his hand into his pocket and pulled out ten dollars, sliding it gently on the desk.

“I told you I was going to pay for when you came back.” Gavin mumbled, clearing his throat quietly. “Here you go, I’m sorry.”

There, Nines had done it. He had defeated fate by abolishing all the possibilities he once foresaw. Because Gavin didn’t ask him anything about Clay, or what he did for a living – matter of fact, it seemed like Gavin wasn’t going to talk to him at all anymore. He was actively avoiding meeting his eyes and kept himself small on his seat. In a way it was impressive, none of the worst possible scenarios Nines thought about happened and instead, a completely different possibility unleashed. A possibility so rare Nines could almost call it ‘luck’, or ‘bad luck’ in this case. Of all the things Nines could describe himself as, ‘rude’ wasn’t one of them. He had never intimidated anyone in his life intentionally; let alone a guy he totally didn’t want to be friends with and had imagined their interactions prior to coming here.

It really was almost impressive.

“Gavin, I’m sorry.”

So impressive in fact, that it had unlocked a different path neither of them had imagined.

“I really didn’t mean to call you stupid.” Nines said sincerely. “Honestly? I wasn’t even thinking when I said that, I don’t...I don’t really think a lot when I talk.”

The path to...authenticity.

“Ah, well...” Gavin shrugged weakly. “It’s okay.”

“No...it’s not...” Nines rolled his eyes at himself, looking back at the door.

Without him realizing, he was actively looking for an exit.

“I’m just...” Yet, he looked back at Gavin again. “I had a really bad day and I feel like I'm everywhere.”

This time though, Gavin also met his gaze.

“Oh, I’m...sorry.” Gavin blinked, leaning forward slightly in his seat. “And why—uh, why’s that?”

For a moment they wondered if this might be one of those unhinged ‘two a.m.’ talks.

“I saw my ex.”

At least, Gavin and Nines couldn’t find any other reason why this felt so strangely easy, painfully awkward, and unsettlingly honest at the same time.

“Ah, I see.” Gavin tilted his head with curiosity, nodding slowly. “I’m...sorry, I guess you...so you broke up on bad terms, right?”

“I think ‘bad’ is an understatement.” Nines admitted, sighing under his breath. “I don’t know. I just don’t feel...present, I think, and I wasn’t really thinking when you were talking to me—but I was listening, it's just that sometimes I forget I need to respond.”

Perhaps sleep deprivation was honesty’s drunken cousin.

“I forget to respond too.” Gavin was nodding slowly. “Sometimes if people don’t call my name I just straight up zone out and think they’re talking to someone else. Happened with my mom a lot.”

“Did you ignore your mom when she was talking to you?”

“Oh, yeah, a lot.”

A weak smile started spread across their lips.

“Me too.” Nines said. “I mean she always said I had my ‘head in the clouds’ anyway, she wasn’t mad when I didn’t respond, but I would get mad when she snapped her fingers in my face to grab my attention.”

“Oh, that’s war talk with me.” Gavin responded without thinking. “If people snap their fingers at me, I go straight to bickering and being petty.”

“I just turn passive aggressive.” Nines admitted, as Gavin hummed in agreement. “I never really yell. I don’t think I’ve ever yelled like that.”

“I don’t like to yell, but I do.” Gavin said. “Not a lot though, I don’t talk to anyone enough to yell like that.”

“Yeah, I don’t talk to anyone either.”

“Yeah.”

The ticking of the clock started to become muffled behind the background music.

“I mean, you can tell.” Nines placed both hands on the desk – as if he was stating his case. “You think this is how a person that talks to people speaks?”

Gavin squinted, tilting his head weakly.

“Are you going to call me stupid again if I say ‘no’?” Gavin asked, in a serious tone of voice.

“I’ll call you stupid if you say ‘yes’.” Nines responded, just as serious.

And then, the inevitable happened.

“Shut up.”

Both started laughing in each other’s faces.

“Oh...well.” Nines sighed, drowning his laughter. “All that for nothing.”

“What?” Gavin frowned weakly.

“Nothing, nothing...” Nines waved his hand dismissively. “I just didn’t want things to be...well.”

“Awkward?” Gavin raised a brow slightly, unable to hide the smile on his lips. “With me? Never.”

Nines might not even realize it, but he was copying the smile on Gavin’s lips as well.

“Okay...” Nines started chuckling and hiding it behind his hand. “I take it you like sarcasm.”

“I don’t know if I like it, I just...use it a lot.” Gavin shrugged weakly, rubbing the back of his palm softly. “But you do too! I think...”

“I just laugh a lot.” Nines admitted. “They say if you smile and have nothing to say, people will think you know what to say but you’re not saying it.”

Gavin squinted, feeling as if Nines had suddenly switched to a different language.

“Right.” Naturally, he simply agreed.

“You didn’t get it, right?” Clearly, Nines noticed.

“So, now are you calling me stupid or did you talk to your ex while I wasn’t looking?”

“Oh—okay.”

Apparently, the only way losers could interact freely with each other was by...making a fool of themselves.

“Anyway...” Gavin looked down to the ten dollars and tapped them with his finger. “I was being serious by the way, about paying for your next load.”

“Thank you.” Nines smiled shyly, looking down at the money. “I mean—well...”

Yet, before he grabbed it, his worst-case scenarios came back to haunt him again.

“Please take it or I’ll be insisting for the rest of my life.” Gavin let out.

Nines pressed his lips together tightly as he slowly slid the dollars closer to him, gaining the courage to do the reckless thing he wanted to do yesterday,

“Are you...planning on working here for the rest of your life?”

Nines successfully made a joke.

“Obviously.” Gavin snarked back. “I’ll solve crimes in the morning and come wash your socks at night.”

“Solve what?” Nines frowned, putting the ten dollars in his pocket.

A shy red quickly bloomed on Gavin’s cheeks, enough for Nines to see it.

“Like crimes—me solving them, because I—so my mom is a detective, and I kinda always knew...I wanted to be...one.” Gavin eloquently responded. “I’m just here working...part time to make some money and get around...”

Yet, despite the awkward answer, Nines had dropped his jaw in awe and shot up his hands to the desk, causing a mildly loud thud.

“Are you going to be a detective?!” Nines whispered with excitement. “That’s incredible.”

Before Nines knew it, the only ‘sharp’ thing about this conversation was the pitch of his voice, rising slowly.

“Yeah...” Gavin mumbled shyly, looking down to his fingers interlacing with each other on the desk. “I’m in my second year of college.”

“Oh right, you go to college!” Nines patted the desk as he nodded promptly. “And how is it?”

“Like the campus? Or my classes?” Gavin asked, tilting his head weakly.

“Both.” Nines responded sincerely.

“Ah, well, it’s...fine.” Gavin responded as his shoulders shrunk little by little. “I like the...campus, and my classes are alright too—the teachers are...nice.”

Nines didn’t need to be a genius to notice Gavin making himself the size of an ant in front of his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Nines quicky said, raising his hands weakly. “Am I...making you uncomfortable?”

“Huh?” Gavin, however, did need to be a genius to notice it himself.

“No?” Nines raised a brow hesitantly.

“No, not at all.” Gavin quickly responded. “It’s just that...I guess I don’t have much to say about college. It’s not...like I do a lot.”

“I mean, you’re studying something super complicated.” Nines said, nodding confidently. “And then you come here and work, that’s a whole thing.”

“No, I mean—thank you.” Gavin stuttered, as his face slowly turned into a blaring alarm. “I meant—thank you, really, but I meant that—my life is boring.” He let out shyly. “I don’t do a lot of...things, I just sit and study and do homework and play videogames once in a while...”

“That sounds fun to me.” Nines admitted without thinking.

“It’s...not.” Gavin responded also mindlessly. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I'm happy I get to do this but I’m also...the most interesting thing about me is that I work here, not a lot of people even know there’s twenty-four-hour laundromats, and then the things that happen here are the only anecdotes I have—and they’re not even about me.”

Without Gavin realizing, he was rambling and speaking out of breath.

“I don’t really...I already said I don’t talk to people a lot.” Gavin cleared his throat. “So, my days are pretty much just...me.”

“My days are also pretty much just me.” Nines said, resting his forearms on the desk as he leaned forward. “Don’t you like it?”

“Do you?” Gavin asked quietly.

“Sometimes.” Nines responded honestly.

“Yeah, sometimes too.” Gavin nodded.

“Okay, now I feel like you’re just repeating what I'm saying.” Nines chuckled nervously. “Are you really talking to me?”

“I—I’m—what?” Gavin let out, borderline insulted. “Nines, yesterday I couldn’t even talk to you.”

“You did though.” Nines raised a brow sharply. “You talked about people killing themselves with toasters in the tub.”

“Was that me?” Gavin tilted his head to his left. “I thought that was you.”

“No, it was you.” Nines nodded. “I remember because I also thought the same.”

“Do you want to kill yourself?”

“I meant that people could die like that, dammit.”

A nervous chuckle escaped them both, making it only louder. It bounced on the walls right into their ears, deafening everything, including their thoughts. It made them realize just how loud they were actually being, and that ironically quieted them down. Nines leaned back slightly, tucking his hands into his pockets and sighing quietly to calm down. Gavin, on the other hand, remained flustered and smiling – and there was absolutely no chance of that changing, at least not tonight. Because not only was Nines also smiling at him, Gavin hadn’t been the one to initiate conversation like this. Truth was, neither of them tried to start a proper conversation, they frankly didn’t know how they got here. All they knew was that making eye contact now didn’t feel dreadful, and that realization felt reassuring.

In conclusion, fuck not having expectations.

“So...” Gavin cleared his throat. “Today is...laundry night for you.”

“Ah.” Nines turned to his hamper and quickly walked up to it. “Yes, it is.”

For a moment, he had completely forgotten why he was here in the first place.

“That’s nice...Friday-laundry.” Gavin hummed quietly. “At least you got plans for the weekend.”

“I would be happy if my plans were just this.” Nines admitted, tossing the dirty laundry into the washing machine.

“Oh, why?” Gavin frowned, resting his arms on the desk as he leaned forward. “Do you have...work this weekend?”

As Nines tossed every item in, he found himself staring at his reflection in the washing machine glass door.

“Well...” Nines whispered. “Yeah.”

The smile on his lips dimmed into a neutral grimace, little by little.

“With your...ex?” Gavin asked. “Do you two—uh, work together?”

“I...yes, we do.” Nines hummed quietly. “Not the brightest idea, by the way, don’t date people in the workplace.”

“Oh, don’t worry.” Gavin chuckled weakly, tilting his head at the empty bathroom. “The guy that works here is not my type.”

When Nines caught his reflection again, he found a dim glint staring back at him.

“Not your type, huh?” Nines raised a brow weakly as he tossed the last sock into the washing machine.

“No, he’s awkward as shit.” Gavin let out, making Nines chuckle as he started the cleaning cycle. “Can’t speak, almost commits felonies without knowing...not the brightest in the crate.”

“Crate?”

“Litter?”

“I mean, maybe.”

“See what I'm saying?”

Nines covered his mouth with his hand as he started to giggle, taking a seat on the bench next to his hamper.

“You hate him so much but you spend a lot of time with him.” Nines pointed out.

“It’s something about...me not having a choice.” Gavin responded with a smirk. “I cope by bullying twelve-year-olds online.”

“In Pokémon Arena right?”

“How did you know?”

“I kinda saw you playing last time I was here.”

“That was yesterday.”

“And it was the last time I was here.”

“No way!” Gavin clapped his hands excitedly – returning to his twelve-year-old form. “Can we—play...?”

He realized how chirpy he had sounded mid-sentence, and tried to tone it down casually.

“If you'd...like?”

Very, very casually.

“Yes, I haven’t gotten the chance to play it a lot and I bought a cape for my salamence!”

“Are you kidding me, you have a cape—and a salamence?!”

“Yeah!”

Up until the point Nines also regressed to his twelve-year-old form, Gavin completely forgot he was on the clock and that he was twenty-two.

It was definitely not the night either of them thought they would have, but before they knew it, there they were. After Nines had put his first load of laundry in the washing machine, he sat down on the bench while Gavin sat at his desk, sharing their gamertags to play together. It was easy to mask the shyness with excitement, though it was clear for the two of them that this was...new. Something about Gavin’s stutter and Nines’ red cheeks made it painfully obvious, just as the bright glimmer in their eyes. In a way, they both blamed it on their poor sleep and the unhinged nature of two a.m., but even with those irrefutable facts, there was something about each other that felt reassuring from the start. Perhaps it was the burning awkwardness that made every single interaction feel stupid, shattering every filter they could have tried to have with one another. There was no right way of saying things, they have already agreed that they would fuck up every word.

Neither of them could judge the other harder than they judged themselves.

“Wait—how expensive was that?” Gavin let out as Nines switched to his Metagross who wore a very elegant medieval princess hat. “And where did you get this—you just said you haven’t played it that much.”

“I haven’t!” Nines chuckled excitedly, biting shyly on his lip. “Also, I got the princess hat in the medieval times pack, they released it a month ago—I bought it right away.”

“How much was it?”

“Like sixty dollars.”

Gavin almost dropped his phone on the desk, but gripped it tightly for dear life. Nines only laughed even louder, unable to contain his joy for not only showing off his ridiculous expensive purchases, but also being able to play this videogame with someone else who shared his excitement.

“Are you kidding me!” Gavin sighed thinly. “I’m saving up for the Vintage pack.”

“Oh—what do you want to get?”

“The club penguin tour guide hat.”

“Oh—wait.”

With both characters awaiting for the match to begin, Gavin was able to see Nines’ Pokémon in the lobby. Nines’ Metagross switched to an Evee, who was wearing the one and only club penguin tour guide hat.

“Oh.” Gavin set down his phone to not drop it. “Oh—my god.”

“Do you want it?”

Gavin shot up his chin and locked eyes with Nines, who was nervously biting down on his lips, rocking his leg rapidly.

“Don’t play with me like that.” Gavin said, almost threateningly. “Do not play with me like that, man.”

“I’m—okay, first of all.” Nines stuttered, chuckling. “Don’t call me ‘man’.”

“Woman.”

“Alright.” Nines pinched his fingers in the air, and Gavin pinched his back – out of reflex. “Hey.”

“No, I’m sorry.” Gavin was trying not to wheeze, so he wrapped his own arms around his stomach tightly. “I’m just—are you serious?”

“Of course!” Nines said, looking down to his phone again. “I mean, I hardly ever play with my Evee anyway, and I bought the Vintage pack because of the little mp3 player it had. I wanted one of my little guys to have earphones.”

Gavin covered his face with his hands, laughing behind them – making Nines shrink shyly in his seat.

“Okay, sure, but it was still pretty expensive.” Gavin said, lowering his hands from his awfully flustered face. “You can’t just hand it over to—”

“Done.”

“Are you kidding me—where?”

Gavin leaned forward in his seat as he frantically grabbed his phone, reading a pop up that alerted him Nines had gifted him an item. For the first time in twenty-two-years Gavin could hear his heart hammering in his hears, so loudly that he couldn’t even hear his own thoughts. If he had, he would have probably objected to the gift, but he was so excited that he accepted it mindlessly – not even finishing reading the pop up. Nines giggled quietly, rocking back and forth as he waited to see Gavin’s Pokémon appear with the tour guide hat on. After a few seconds of Gavin internally screaming, he selected the item, and it appeared over his Bulbasaur’s head. Gavin didn’t realize he had stood up from his seat while holding his phone, just like Nines didn’t notice his cheeks were hurting really bad, or that his laundry was ready and needed to be put in the drier.

“Oh my god.” Gavin admired the little hat. “Oh—my god.”

“You can call me Nines.” God said.

“Nines!”

Gavin had indeed turned into a believer.

“Thank you.” Gavin said within nervous giggles. “Dammit—I thought I was never gonna get it—it’s too stupidly expensive and I need to pay my rent, tomorrow I was like—‘oh, there’s just no way’.”

“I’m—it’s—I’m happy you like it.” Nines managed, resting his phone on his lap. “I didn’t really use it so I think this is better.”

“Thank you!” Gavin repeated, with an even bigger smile on his lips. “This is another load of laundry on your book.”

“I didn’t give it to you so you would pay for my stuff!” Nines pointed out, blinking as he remembered, “Ah, my stuff.”

Both turned to the already turned off washing machine, not realizing how they missed the little beep it emitted after it was done.

“I didn’t even hear it.” Gavin admitted. “I’m sorry.”

“No—it’s fine.” Nines stood up quickly, opening the drier to switch the laundry. “We didn’t even get to play a match or anything.”

“I know—sorry.” Gavin stuttered nervously, resting his phone on the desk. “Do you want me to help?”

“Beat you up? I can do that alone.” Nines snarked without thinking, stopping himself before tossing a shirt into the drier.

He slowly turned his head around, and saw Gavin’s squinted eyes staring back at him.

“So.” Nines turned properly towards him, holding his slightly wet shirt in his hands. “Like I said, don’t really think before I speak.”

“Right, the thing is...” Gavin hovered his hand over his head. “You’re like a head taller than me so if you want to beat me up, I’m pretty sure you’d send me to Poland.”

“Poland?”

“What’s wrong with Poland?”

“I—don’t know.” Nines was giggling again. “I just thought it was funny.”

“Do you think Polish people are funny?”

“Hey!” Nines pointed an accusatory finger at him. “You know what? Sure, they might actually be super funny.”

It was close to being three a.m., and Nines was yet to finish his first load of laundry.

“Hey...” Gavin had been the first one to notice. “Do you really not...want me to help you out?”

“Ah—it’s fine.” Nines stuttered, glancing over his shoulder as he saw Gavin approaching him already.

Just then, a realization hit him like electricity running through him, tensing up his limbs.

“It’s—fine, it’s fine.” Nines pulled his hamper closer to him on the bench.

“That’s okay...” Gavin nodded, sneakily grabbing another ten dollars from his pocket. “I would also get weird if people touched my dirty clothes.”

Nines chuckled, turning back to the drier as he shook his head without him realizing. Deep down, he knew the problem wasn’t Gavin holding his dirty clothes, but rather the type of clothes he had in the hamper. While Gavin didn’t seem to know or care about fashion brands, the topic of the hoodie had already been pushed aside, he didn’t want it to resurface when he realized most of his clothes were also gifts from expensive brands. Nines himself didn’t even know how expensive they were, and deep down he didn’t want to know. Little did he know Gavin wasn’t planning on checking out his dirty laundry and instead, the only reason why he had gotten closer was to put in ten dollars in the washing machine and leave it ready for Nines to put in his next load of clothes.

Yet, the beeping of the machine ratted him out.

“Ah.” Gavin did a weak farting noise with his tongue. “I forgot they did that.”

“Gavin.” Nines turned sharply to him, tossing the last sock into the drier and closing the door. “What!”

“Dude, you gave me like thirty-five dollars just like that.” Gavin raised his hands, shaking slightly. “We’re—not even, but we’re—something.”

“It was a gift, not a truce.” Nines pointed out, checking out the machine to see if he could get the money back. “And I can’t even take it out.”

“No take-back-sies.”

Nines turned to him and crossed his arms, as Gavin took little steps back.

“Back-sies?” Nines whispered, raising a brow weakly. “I’ll give you another hat.”

“Don’t.” Gavin raised his finger at him without thinking. “I’m so gonna pay for your next load again.”

“Alright, then don’t.”

“Alright, then you don’t.”

“I’m not doing anything!”

“Okay, then so—stay like that.”

The heat blooming across their faces numbed their cheeks.

“All or nothing.” Gavin raised a brow defiantly at him. “I beat you and we’re even.”

“Fine.” Nines nodded. “And what if I win?”

“We’re...uneven.”

“So, I give you another hat?”

“No, you stop giving me things.”

“This doesn’t make sense.”

“Let’s just—actually, let’s just play and we’ll see what happens.”

At some point during the night, Nines and Gavin forgot they had been strangers up until...today.

For the next hour, they played match after match until time ran out. They didn’t even realize it was getting early, though this time they did hear the drier ending its cycle. There wasn’t much meaningful conversation after that, there were only a couple of comments in-between matches like ‘that was good’, and some other curse word under their breath when they lost. Though right from the start, it was clear it wouldn’t be a fair game since Nines had a lot more Pokémon unlocked than Gavin, so to make it fair they played with the basics. Gavin was more distracted by the many items Nines had bought for his Pokémon, hiding his excitement every time he saw a hat he liked. Nines though, could still see it, but he stopped himself from gifting them to him because they were still stuck in the money predicament. Muffled giggles and joyful sighs escaped them throughout the night, up until the drier finished his last cycle.

A high-pitched beep had never sounded so sad.

“That’s—the last one.” Nines said, right before readying up to one more match.

“Ah—yeah, true.” Gavin set down his phone slowly on the desk. “It’s super late too.”

“Or super...early.” Nines raised his brows at him, hearing Gavin chuckling under his breath. “Almost four.”

“It’s around the time I get customers again.” Gavin said, interlacing his fingers together as he rested his hands on his desk. “They help me wake up.”

“Help you?” Nines frowned as he pulled the dried clothes into his hamper. “I don’t see you sleepy though.”

“Well, not right now.” Gavin emphasized, rubbing his sweaty fingers. “Hard to sleep when I’m winning.”

“You didn’t win.”

“I totally did.”

“I won two.”

“And I won three—three is more than two, you lose.”

Nines pressed his hand against his mouth, stifling a very not casual wheeze.

“Detective Reed knows math.” Nines managed, closing the drier. “Very good to know.”

“Alright.” Gavin’s face had successfully turned into a strawberry. “I’m not a detective yet.”

“Yet!” Nines snapped his fingers at him. “Manifest it.”

“I’m actually studying for it.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Gavin dropped his elbows on the desk as he giggled, rubbing his cheeks with his fingers.

“Okay—well.” Nines looked down to his goddamn clean clothes. “Have a good rest of your...day? Night?”

“Day.” Gavin smiled weakly, nodding. “Have a good weekend.”

“Thank you.”

Nines walked up to the door, feeling sweat falling down the back of his head.

“I’ll—be...” Nines raised his hand to the door handle. “I’ll—so.”

“Yeah?”

There had been enough recklessness today, Nines might have reached his limit.

“See you Thursday.”

“Ah—yeah, see you.”

Asking the guy who he had just played videogames with to play again over the weekend again was simply too much, so naturally he escaped, hamper and dignity still in hand.

“Okay.” Gavin, on the other hand, was still trying to process the fact that he was alive. “Okay...yeah.”

If Nines would have touched him at any point he would have noticed his incredibly hot body temperature and his disgustingly sweaty palms.

“O—kay.”

Matter of fact, if Nines would have been a bit closer to him, Gavin might have passed out again.

There weren’t enough words to describe the tornado of emotions flowing through his mind right now. The entire day Gavin had been stupidly excited to see Nines again, but only for the chance to talk to him a little bit when he gave him the hoodie back. He would have never imagined they would play videogames together for a whole hour, or that he would gift him anything at all. Gavin was staring at the tour guide hat in awe, like Nines had given him a piece of the moon instead of expensive pixels. A stupid, almost drunken smile spread on his lips, and before he knew it he was giggling alone and swaying left and right on his seat. Nothing had turned out the way he thought it would, but for the first time, that wasn’t bad at all. Truly, everything in his life was rapidly changing in just one week, starting by making his first and only friend in his college years.

As he thought about it, a question popped in his head.

“...friends?”

 It made him wonder, just for a silly moment, if he could maybe consider Nines...a friend.

“Two friends?”

Detective Reed did, in fact, know math.

“Hah, two friends.” Gavin giggled, feeling his shoulders shaking ever so slightly. “Two friends, right?”

One could make an egg on Gavin’s boiling face.

“He’s so nice.” Gavin mumbled quietly. “He’s so fucking nice.”

He buried his face in his arms, glancing up to the door to make sure no customers came in just yet.

“What am I doing?” Gavin whispered, shaking his head weakly. “Should I...tell him I know? But like—what does it matter? I’m not...he’s not bringing it up—he’s not...so should I...shouldn’t I? I mean...”

Gavin rubbed his forehead against the desk.

“Of course he dated a fucking model, sure.”

After the friction hurt his skin, Gavin decided to lay his cheek on the surface instead.

“What am I even saying, man?” Gavin sighed, rolling his eyes at himself. “Who do I think I am—‘bring it up’, like—what do I think this is? What am I thinking—I...like, Jesus, Gavin.”

He let out a heavy exhale through his nostrils, leaning back from the desk to look up at the ceiling.

“Who do I think I am?” Gavin mumbled, nodding at himself. “Beggars can’t be choosers, dumbass.”

Ironically, throughout the night, both had abandoned the expectations they had with each other, and yet were unable to abandon the ones with themselves.

“What am I doing?”

At least, Nines was also having his fair share of existentialism as he stared into the ceiling of his car.

“I need to be sedated.” Nines said. “Giving him a hat, seriously?”

Nines rubbed his face almost violently with his hands.

“He said ‘be smart, be sharp’, and I said, ‘fuck you and your mom’, and then I’m throwing money at a guy like...”

He stopped his hands over his face, looking at the ceiling through the gaps of his fingers.

“I mean—and so what, dammit? So what?” Nines whispered. “Sure, I got carried away—fine, I’m not smart or sharp, but I’m also not—not fucking this guy, I’m literally just—playing with some fucking pixels.”

By his side on the passenger seat laid his phone with the screen on, where a message from Clay was still on the screen.

“I’m not doing anything wrong.”

When Nines glanced back to the screen, he re-read those triggering words,

‘Remember to keep your guard up.’

Nines didn’t know when taking pictures turned him into a wrestler.

“Keep my guard up? For what—of what?” Nines mumbled, squinting at the vindictive phone. “Gavin’s super short anyway.”

Nines turned on the car almost with spite, driving away hurriedly to his house.

“I can’t talk to people.” Nines kept complaining out loud, shaking his head with disappointment. “I can’t fucking talk to people—I can’t make friends.”

Yet, as he said those words, Nines gripped the steering wheel tighter, as if to dodge a car coming directly at him.

“Uh...okay, alright.”

It was three a.m., and the streets were empty.

“Friends.” Nines nodded slowly. “I mean...acquaintances? Polite strangers...that give each other money? He literally works there.”

Nines glanced up to the front-rear-mirror and found his reflection staring back at him. Once he locked eyes with himself, there was only one thing that popped in his head.

“What a pathetic son of a bitch.”

Despite fate proving them wrong, that day Nines and Gavin realized they would find a way to prove themselves right.

Chapter Text

There were hardly any differences between the weekend of a college student and a famous model.

Despite what the fans thought, their lives were extremely similar in many aspects. Both woke up very late in the morning after barely any sleep and dragged themselves to the shower to wake up with cold water. For Nines, it worked, since it would usually snap him back to his senses. For Gavin, it depended on if the cold water relaxed his muscles. Then, after their shower, they both lay on their beds pathetically as they looked for a reason to get up again. For Nines that was Clay, who wouldn’t stop calling. For Gavin that was his neighbor, who wouldn’t stop smoking weed by the door. Both would find the strength to stand up and get changed to deal with their respective nuisances. Gavin would go close the window by his door, and Nines would sprint into Clay’s car that had been waiting for him for the last twenty minutes.

The only thing that was different was what they did for ‘work’.

In Gavin’s case, he had a lot of homework to do and a lot of articles to read. He would set up his little working station and prepare himself a cold beverage – tap water with ice, and a snack – granola bars with chocolate chips. Gavin followed the same system he had perfected during his academic years; study for thirty minutes and have a small twelve-minute break. It had worked wonders over the years, so he never cared to change it. Nines was similar; he also had a perfect system for his job too. Today he would be taking pictures with models he didn’t know, which meant posing suggestively with strangers while staring into each other’s eyes for long painful minutes. To do this without torturing himself, Nines kept himself distracted by thinking of something completely unrelated and off-putting. He’d usually think about his late mother belittling him to keep a straight face, it kept him on edge and helped him focus.

The two of them were done with ‘work’ around the same time: seven p.m.

They realized they didn’t go out at all and barely saw any sunlight whatsoever. Nines spent his entire day in a plush venue, posing with expensive jewelry on leather sofas, while Gavin spent his entire day lying in all different positions on his fluffy blanket while he finished an essay. By the time they finished, they sought the comfort of food, and not surprisingly, very similar food. Gavin ordered himself a burger and so did Nines – though it had to be vegan, and he couldn’t have fries. Gavin did stuff himself with fries though; Nines could only imagine himself munching on some. After eating and recovering some energy, they chose to have some fun before continuing their busy days. Nines needed to have a meeting with Clay about the whole music video with fucking Bryan, and Gavin needed to clean his small apartment and – ironically, prepare his dirty laundry to wash too. So, naturally, before doing things they didn’t want to do, they went to their favorite coping mechanism; overpriced pixels.

And once more, in sync, they thought of each other when they did.

“Is he...working tonight too?” Nines wondered.

Some more desperately than others.

“He’s online—he’s online—what if I ask him—what if I send him a...should I? Should—should you, really, Gavin? Oh, really?” Gavin rolled his eyes at himself. “How about I ask him to come pick me up for work too? Yeah, right, dumbass.”

Yet, despite the humiliation and overthinking, the two of them stared at each other’s gamertags for a good five minutes.

“He’s probably playing with someone else.” Nines mumbled, nodding slowly at his screen. “Showing off his little hat—hah.”

The owner of the ‘little hat’ in question was, in fact, not playing with anyone.

“A bunch of hot guys playing Pokémon...hah.” Gavin was grinning to himself. “Like ‘cut the cameras, I’m almost done with this kid’.”

The ‘hot guy’ in question was, indeed, almost done with a kid.

“Better luck next time loser.”

“What are you doing?” Clay asked, raising a brow as he glanced over to Nines in the passenger seat. “Oh—Nines.”

“What?” Nines turned off the screen rapidly, pressing his phone against his chest. “What am I doing?”

“Playing that game again.” Clay shook his head. “I saw how expensive everything is on there by the way, and you told me you bought a lot of stuff.”

“First of all, you gave me my allowance and I used it how I pleased.” Nines snarked. “Second of all, I’m twenty-two and I can play my silly little game if I want to on my breaks, dammit.”

“I know—I know.” Clay said calmly. “I just want to tell you to not spend a lot of money on it.”

“It’s fine.” Nines sang out lazily, tapping his fingers over his phone. “I’m just giving myself a little consolation prize.”

“Consolation...” Clay shook his head slowly. “I told you that you could take some more time if you needed to talk about it.”

“Yeah, but that’s not as reassuring as you think it is.” Nines responded sincerely. “It just means that I’ll be thinking about it longer when I already have my answer.”

“You do?” Clay raised a brow in interest.

“I had it the moment Julia put it on the table.” Nines admitted. “I just didn’t feel like saying it in front of fucking Bryan.”

“Right.” Clay hummed quietly. “So, I guess that’s a yes.”

“Yeah...” Nines nodded slowly, checking the time on his phone. “It’ll be good for me as much as it’ll be good for him...but people will think I look better than him anyway.”

“Obviously.” Clay scoffed, hearing Nines giggle quietly. “Alright, then...I suppose I’m accepting dinner with Julia’s producer, right?”

“Yup.”

“Alright then.”

Clay carefully grabbed his phone from his blazer pocket and texted back the producers with one hand, glancing at the screen back and forth.

“Are you sure?” Clay asked one last time before sending the message. “We can talk about it more if you want, we have two hours before dinner with them...”

“No, I seriously just want to get this over with.” Nines sighed, passing his fingers on his hair. “I don’t even know why I waited so long. You and I know that’s why she puts us out there on blast, sitting next to each other...asking me about the video thing.” He rolled his eyes in annoyance. “It’s like she looks at you right in the eyes and sees your soul and eats it.”

“Okay.” Clay shook his head slowly, narrowing his eyes as he did. “Let’s not get carried away.”

“I just don’t want to think about it anymore, that’s all.” Nines said, shrugging. “Besides—it’ll be fine, it’s not the first time I’ve had to work with some bitch I hate.”

“Nines.” Clay rolled his eyes weakly. “Language.”

“Sorry.” Nines held in a heavy sigh. “Thing is, it’s fine, let’s just do it.”

“Fine.” Clay hummed quietly as he sent the message. “I’m proud of you.”

Nines shivered in his seat, making Clay chuckle under his breath.

“Stop it.” Clay said, smiling subtly.

“Sorry, dad—manager, dadager.” Nines snapped his fingers at him, making Clay’s smile less subtle. “Yeah, dad-ager it is.”

The car slowed down as they approached a red light, and once it stopped Clay tilted his head at Nines with a curious look in his eyes, raising his brows ever so slightly.

“You’re in a good mood.” Clay said. “I thought you’d be grumpy because we got off so late from the shoot.”

“I would be in a better mood if I had my fries but well.” Nines shrugged, clapping his hands together. “What can I do about it?”

“It’s just for this week; your trainer asked me to keep an eye on carbs.” Clay mumbled, clearing his throat. “So?”

“So, what? I haven’t gone crazy on carbs—”

“No—I meant, you’re in a good mood.” Clay quickly corrected. “Did you sleep alright?”

“Oh, no.” Nines let out without thinking, making Clay frown. “Ah—I mean, kind of. But not really.”

“Alright...” Clay nodded, tilting his head back at the traffic light. “So, just...it’s a good day?”

“Good day? I have to see the producers in two hours.” Nines sighed. “And the vegan burger tasted weird.”

“Alright, Nines, why are you in a good mood?” Clay asked bluntly as he drove away.

“Alright—Jesus.” Nines chuckled quietly. “I mean, not much. I don’t...think.”

“You don’t think?” Clay asked, almost whispering.

It was a tone of voice Nines remembered even better than his late mother’s voice.

“Okay, spit it out.” Nines made a finger gun with his hand and pointed it at him. “Whatchu know?”

“Well, for starters, I saw a charge on my credit card statement for a new Pokémon theme keyboard.” Clay said, as Nines lowered his finger-gun quickly and whistled, lifting his chin at the ceiling. “And...”

“It’s fine, I bought the mouse with my card.”

“And—I was also saw your location last night.”

Nines furrowed his face instantly, wrinkling his nose and curling his lips.

“You’ve been...spending a lot of time with this Kevin guy.”

“Gavin.”

“Marvin, yes.”

“Gavin.”

“And you even correct me about his name...” Clay tsked sarcastically with his tongue. “Interesting.”

“You’re calling him the wrong name!” Nines raised his hands weakly. “Whatever, stop tracking my location.”

“You’re aware that I get a notification every time you open your house door, right?” Clay asked. “I’m your emergency contact, I get the—”

“You know what, maybe instead of my dad you’re my stalker.”

“I’m just saying I got worried when I saw you leaving at two a.m.” Clay said. “I knew you were going to the laundromat but I just wanted to make sure you got there safe.”

“Well, I did.” Nines nodded, tapping on his phone as he slowly slid down in his seat.

“And was Gavin there?” Clay asked.

“Yeah, he works there, so he...was.” Nines responded. “He works the night shift.”

“Huh, wow.” Clay hummed quietly. “Kind of tough.”

“A little...” Nines said. “It’s the only time he can work though.”

“Why’s that?”

“College.” Nines tilted his head at the window, looking at the buildings pass. “He says he’s going to be a detective.”

“A detective?” Clay raised a brow in interest.

“Like his mom.” Nines nodded slowly. “I thought it was pretty cool.”

“It is ‘cool’.” Clay said, making Nines scoff. “So, you kept him...company?”

“I mean, I was doing my laundry.” Nines shrugged weakly. “Not much keeping him company but just, being in the same place he was because he’s working and can’t leave.”

“Did you do laundry for two hours?”

Nines parted his lips, feeling words dangling by his tongue but not being able to bring himself to speak.

“I’m not trying to lecture you.” Clay quickly said.

“You sure? Because you texted me ‘keep your guard up’ at three a.m. like I’m trying to fist fight the guy.” Nines muttered, rolling his eyes weakly. “What was that for?”

“Just reminding you to not...you know.” Clay cleared his throat. “Not get...carried away.”

“Sometimes I feel like you think I’ll marry someone walking on the street.”

“No—no, I don’t mean it like that.” Clay shook his head. “I’m just saying that you are...a very...honest person.”

“Honest?” Nines tilted his head back at him. “Alright—sure, why’s that bad?”

“Well...because people usually...aren’t.” Clay responded. “I saw you hanging out there for a while and I thought...’things must be going good’ if he’s there for that long, but then I was also thinking...wondering, you know, what you were...talking about for that long.”

It was a subtle shiver but Nines could see it, the way Clay’s lips trembled ever so slightly, as if he was trying to measure his words carefully before he said them. Inevitably, Nines sighed, understanding where Clay’s heart was and how difficult it must be for him to try and...parent this parentless child in a position like him. Nines was always aware of it though, sometimes it was hard to see it. He sat up straight and squeezed his phone in his hands ever so slightly. Clay kept licking his dry lips, slowing down the car as they reached another red light. By the time the car had fully stopped, the sound of the AC hissed in the car, bouncing in their ears like white noise. It was convenient though, it felt...like it muffled the thoughts in their heads, and they didn’t sound as catastrophic as they usually did.

At least, Nines thought, there was no one shouting in his head.

“I understand why you’re worried.” Nines said. “And I also know who I am.”

When they made eye contact again, Nines understood why there were no yelling voices – it was easy to communicate with someone who felt as close with him as he felt with himself.

“You know, what? I did get carried away.” Nines admitted, to Clay’s surprise. “We played Pokémon the entire time and I gifted him a hat he wanted a lot.”

“Oh.” Clay nodded slowly, not aware that he had relaxed the grip on the steering wheel. “So, he likes your little game too?”

“Stop calling it a little game.” Nines chuckled, though Clay shook his head. “Fine. Yeah, we just...played, and he gave me your hoodie in a box he bought too—by the way I forgot your hoodie.”

“You don’t say.” Clay hummed in disbelief. “Oh, well.”

“But it was...I don’t know, it was nice.” Nines continued. “I fucked things up so massively it made things so bad that they were good.”

“What?” Clay frowned, wrinkles formed on his forehead. “Like how?”

“I called him stupid without me realizing.”

“Oh, Nines.”

“Yeah, but it was great!” Nines confessed. “It was like the ice breaker we needed and from then on...we pretty much just talked like normal. It was impressive.” He nodded at himself. “We didn’t really...like he said he was studying to become a detective and whatnot, and the thing about his mom, but we mostly talked about how we were both so awkward it hurt to exist.”

“Oh, so he’s like you too.” Clay said. “Anxious?”

“Big time, we’re both struggling at the same time and I think that’s what makes it easier.” Nines admitted. “It felt good to not think about me stuttering when he was stuttering more. It was nice.”

“I mean, I guess I can see it.” Clay frowned as he imagined it. “They do say things are less embarrassing when you do it with someone.” 

“Who says that?”

“A lot of people.” Clay said. “The people you can’t talk to.”

Nines dropped his jaw with a grin, hearing Clay chuckle.

“No, but that’s good.” Clay tilted his head at him, smiling gently. “I’m actually happy to hear that.”

“You are?” Nines leaned back mindlessly. “Why?”

“What do you mean why?” Clay scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I know you’ve been wanting to make a friend outside of the industry.”

“I mean—right, but I wouldn’t call him my friend.” Nines stuttered, instantly feeling his palms getting sweaty. “He was very nice—probably felt bad over the hoodie too, but we only seen each other—what? Two days a week? And for so little time too, how do you make a friend like that?”

Clay pressed his lips tightly together, keeping his eyes straight on the road ahead.

“Also, I don’t even know what else he does.” Nines continued his rambling. “He says he doesn’t do much and that his days are boring—but if you ask me, I think it’s pretty cool that he goes to college and has a whole college life, but he says it isn’t—and I don’t know if he works somewhere else or what kind of person he really is, you know? I know he works hard—he passed out because of that, and I know he’s awkward as hell, but so am I, so who am I to judge, right? But I guess I’m kind of assuming he’s like me just because he stutters when he talks.”

They reached another red light.

“So.” Clay placed his hands on his lap. “He’s not your friend.”

“No, not at all.”

“But you want him to be.”

“No—I mean, maybe yeah—yes, that’s it.”

Clay lifted his hands to the steering wheel, tapping it with his fingers.

“I have one question.” Clay said.

“Oh, god.” Nines mumbled.

“Does he know what you do for work?” Clay asked, pulling out the giant elephant sitting in the backseat apparently.

“No.” Nines said, resting the back of his head on the seat and looking up to the ceiling. “I haven’t told him.”

“I mean, if you ask me.” Clay placed his hand over his chest. “He sounds like he’s got...a normal life.”

“He does.” Nines said. “I want—to think he does, yeah.”

“You know, when the summer launch comes out you’ll be on every street, in every commercial, everywhere.” Clay pointed out. “Before he sees you at the mall when he’s—I don’t know, buying groceries, you might want to get ahead of that and tell him yourself.”

“See? But that’s the thing I don’t...” Nines rubbed his face with his hand. “Do I have to?”

“How do you expect to connect with someone if you’re not being yourself?”

The light turned green.

“I’m not what I do for work.” Nines said. “I’m...you know, more than that.”

“And I agree with that, but you’re also this.” Clay emphasized. “It would be good to get it out of the way, just like this thing with the producers, you knew it was going to come up eventually and you wanted to get it over with to not stress yourself out. Why not do the same in this case?”

“Be—cause.” Nines looked down, holding his hands together on his lap. “I don’t care what the producers think of me.”

Clay hummed gently, glancing at Nines to get a good look of the expression on his face, finding him lost in thought.

“Do you think he’ll think...less of you?” Clay asked. “Or what do you think...he’ll think?”

“Not necessarily less of me, but just...act weird.” Nines said. “You know the whole thing...yesterday he was freaking out at how much money I spent on my little game and then I was thinking ‘oh, if you saw the clothes people have given me you would sit on your ass’.”

“Right, but you don’t buy this stuff.” Clay pointed out. “They’re gifts.”

“From very famous producers and directors, so.” Nines shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve gone through this so many times, the moment I ‘name drop’ they get all weird and start poking for more details.”

“Right, and you think a guy...that’s studying, what? Criminal justice? Will have an interest in fashion and be super into clothes?” Clay asked. “Do you think he’ll be asking you for tips to get famous while he solves crimes? I think your fields are completely unrelated to each other—and that’s why I think it’s fine.”

Nines twisted his lips, dampening them ever so slightly.

“Listen, you don’t have to decide anything right now.” Clay said. “You can, you know, give it some more thought...and then make a decision. It’s not like you and Kevin see each other all the time.”

“You did that on purpose.” Nines raised a brow at him, hearing Clay scoff.

“You have time.” Clay insisted. “Let things flow, don’t go too fast. You two are still getting to know each other and—”

“I want to be his friend not his husband.”

“Right, so why are you freaking out so much over telling him what you do for work? Like you’re a criminal.”

“I’m not—freaking out.” Nines stuttered, clearly flustered. “I’m just tired of shit going south and if one more son of a bitch tries to get something from me I’ll—I might become a criminal.”

“Nines.” Clay tilted his head at him. “I would bail you out.”

“Dad-ager...”

“Or maybe testify against you, who knows.”

Nines chuckled nervously as he pushed Clay’s shoulder weakly, looking out at the window as his laughter slowly died down.

“Don’t think about it too hard.” Clay said. “It’s important you keep your guard up, but that doesn’t mean ‘be paranoid and lie to everyone to protect yourself’.”

“I’m sorry, but sometimes it feels like that’s what you’re telling me.” Nines pointed out, as Clay hummed no. “Yes—it does, telling me to keep my guard up while I’m playing Pokémon, like, what was I supposed to do?”

“I just didn’t know what you were doing, alright?” Clay let out, scoffing. “I’m sorry, I promise I’ll relax too.”

“Good.” Nines crossed his arms weakly. “I don’t need two people freaking out.”

“I thought you weren’t freaking out.”

“You and Kevin are.”

“Oh—right, right...”

The good thing about their relationship was the ease they had in moving from one topic to another. This was either because they had successfully closed a chapter, or because they both realized the other was unavailable to keep talking about this. In this case, Clay thought it was both. While Nines had been honest to an extent, there were still some things Clay didn’t feel comfortable addressing – for example, his clear trauma around intimacy and connection. It was upsetting to see, as Clay knew there was nothing Nines wanted more than a genuine friend who he could spend time with. While he didn’t know this ‘Gavin guy’, he did have some hope that he could be a gaming buddy at least. It was hard for Clay to not be paranoid when he was the person who knew Nines’ heart the most; genuine, loving, and transparent to a fault. Nines loved too much, and in his industry, that was a threat to no one but himself.

Clay thought it might be a liability everywhere.

“Did I tell you his gamertag?” Nines asked.

“No, what is it?”

“Dat-Racoon-Guy.”

“So, he’s one of you, isn’t he?”

“What does that mean?”

The type of heart that got excited to talk about a potential friend this way deserved to be cherished. At least, that’s what Clay believed.

**

Routine killed time better than anything else.

Gavin was never really that excited over the weekend, as he usually did the same things. He would study the entire afternoon and do a bit of cleaning in the evening, squeezing in some noodles for lunch and dinner before going to work. He had one day off that changed every week; this time he had Sunday off. Gavin preferred it that way since he could get more rest before going to class in the morning. His manager usually printed the schedule on the wall, and Gavin often checked it just as he arrived at work. That day it wasn’t different; he arrived at work and left his backpack on the desk. He briefly exchanged some words with his manager before quickly going to the bathroom, taking five minutes to check his phone and scroll through Instagram to kill time. There were no customers anyway and the bus ride was long and tiresome.

The fact that he ended up scrolling through Nines’ Instagram account had actually been a coincidence.

“Oh, that’s pretty...” He mumbled as he saw him post pictures of expensive jewelry in his stories.

After he wiped his ass – not letting go of the phone for a minute, Gavin walked up mindlessly to the wall to check the schedule.

“Ah—that’s a bracelet, super...thick.” Gavin hummed, taking a break from admiring the pictures and following his finger on the calendar. “Alright, let’s see, where am I?”

Before his finger landed on the red cell with the word ‘Break’ written on it, Gavin had dropped his hand in defeat.

“Seriously.”

He had Friday off next week.

“Fine.” Gavin looked down, letting out a heavy sigh as he sat down at his desk. “The only good thing in my life right now, but sure, take it away, why not, right?”

Gavin Reed was too old to be pouting, but there he was. Sad eyes, pursed lips, and hunched shoulders.

“Whatever.”

Contrary to a baby, Gavin couldn’t throw a tantrum and throw himself to the floor. He could, however, mop said floors instead.

It was the saddest two hours of his shift. Gavin finished cleaning the entire place so incredibly fast, driven by how upset he was and needing a distraction from it all. After the windows were cleaned, the bathrooms smelled of lavender, and the washing machine’s glass doors were spotless, Gavin sat down in his seat again and stared at the vindictive schedule with squinted eyes. He was trying – hardly, to not let it get to him, but soon it was all he could think of. Gavin couldn’t deny the fact that he was...stupidly excited over his interaction with Nines yesterday, and part of him hoped they could continue playing videogames together when he was here. He had already accepted that he wasn’t as casual as he wanted to come across. That evening when he saw Nines online, he felt every part of his body sweating, and he had to take another shower before coming to work. Part of him, though, was completely fine with that. This was, by far, the most interesting and nice thing that had ever happened to him.

Someone as cool as Nines Morris found his company a little bit enjoyable.

Not even in his wildest dreams would Gavin have ever thought of it as a possibility. Running into the sunset together? Totally. Marrying him and seeing him in a suit? A million times. Go to war for him? Without question. But playing Pokémon with him? Not even God knew of such greed. Gavin didn’t want to get carried away by the situation and be stupid about it, but after what happened yesterday...he couldn’t really think of a ‘right way’ to do things anymore. It had painted a very clear picture of the kind of dynamic the two of them would have from now on. The truth was that Gavin’s past daydreaming was about a guy he didn’t know but simply idealized. Now that he knew the real Nines Morris, part of him didn’t...really know how to feel about him. There was no denying he felt stupidly attracted to that beautiful man, but there was also no denying that their interactions were both painful to watch and amusing to entertain.

Gavin’s daydreaming had shifted from soap operas to...meaningless banter, and he liked it even more.

“What if he doesn’t even come anyway...” He mumbled, looking at his phone on the desk. “Can you imagine—’Friday night at the laundromat—selfie with this loser and the dryer—oh, wait! They’re the same’...”

What hadn’t changed though was Gavin’s self-deprecation.

“Whatever.” He rubbed his temple with his finger. “Whatever—stop.”

Once again, Gavin Reed was fighting with himself and losing somehow.

“Ugh—man.” Gavin sighed, resting his elbows on the desk. “Why Friday? But he’s not—what if he doesn’t even come? Actually—what am I doing?”

Before the vicious assault continued, Gavin tapped out.

He tried distracting himself by playing videogames on his phone, though that too reminded him of the great time he had with Nines yesterday, so he ended up scrolling on social media instead. It usually worked to get his mind off things – and it did in the beginning. He watched a couple of videos, read some stories online, and even judged a couple’s break up video that popped up on his feed. However, it seemed that fate wasn’t interested in giving the poor guy a break. As Gavin swiped through the stories of the people he followed on Instagram, an ad popped up. He instantly widened his eyes at the picture; it was the teaser for a future clothing line that would launch in the summer, with only shadows posing the 'clothes' – as that too was merley a dark blur. Yet, the only visible part of the shadows were their eyes, revealed like a brush stroke over their faces.

Gavin had even dreamed about those blue eyes before.

“Oh—this is what you were talking about...” Gavin mumbled, zooming into the picture. “Summer clothes, nice, nice.”

As he scanned every detail of the picture, his eyes inevitably landed on the medium shadow standing on the opposite side of where Nines was.

“Who’s...” Gavin raised his brows slightly, zooming into his eyes. “Now, who’s this?”

A little hunch made his skin itch, and he couldn’t help but scratch his neck.

 “Is that...’working together’, you said...” Gavin whispered, nodding slowly as he connected dots in his head. “Working together?”

Soon, the itchiness stopped.

“Ah, right.” He hummed quietly. “I mean, yeah, his ex, right?”

Already feeling like a stalker, Gavin wondered...how creepy would it be to find out who Nines’ ex was.

“Alright, whatever.” He put down his phone on the desk. “Working together with his ex...rough.”

He tried to focus on the idea rather than...the details of it. Gavin’s previous relationships had always been short term and incredibly awkward – no surprise there, but he didn’t even remember the full name of the two guys he had dated. He never cared for them too much, and he knew they didn’t care for him either. So, he couldn’t really imagine what it would be like to work with them. Matter of fact, he had never even dated someone who he saw every day either. The guys went to different high schools and they mostly interacted online, so Gavin didn’t even have the experience of seeing his ex in the same place. The more he thought about it, the more he could sympathize with Nines. Their jobs were completely different, but even Gavin knew his social skills wouldn’t be enough to handle a situation like that. He’d quit before having to spend hours trapped with a guy that had seen him naked.

But Nines couldn’t really quit, could he?

“Ah...alright.”

He couldn’t really quit working with a guy that had probably seen him naked.

“Okay.” Gavin stood up from his stool and walked up to the bathroom. “Stop, stop, stop...”

Gavin might have connected the dots too hard in his head, and now no amount of pulling could disconnect them.

It was predictable, in a way. Despite Gavin interacting with Nines more as a...not-friend, but not-stranger either, he couldn’t just erase who Nines was before they truly met from his mind. Or at least before they played a couple of Pokémon matches. As surprising as it had been to see Nines being as awkward as he was, Gavin also couldn’t deny the fact that Nines was a famous, talented model with a long career ahead of him, and the people he was surrounded with were just like him. People who were equally successful, talented, and, without a doubt, good looking. And perhaps that was the actual dot he was trying to disconnect – the realization that their realities were simply too different from each other, and he wasn’t the type of person that could be as close with Nines as he wanted to be. When Nines’ exes were famous models and Gavin’s were people he didn’t even remember, the shocking contrast left him feeling helpless.

As he stared at his face in the bathroom mirror, that helplessness turned quickly into hopelessness.

The dark circles under his eyes might take a lifetime to vanish from his face, if they ever did. His hair had always been weirdly wavy but straight in the wrong places, and it got dry fast. He gained and lost weight with seemingly no correlation to his schedule, and no part of him was defined or muscular. He was painfully average. The only salvageable thing about him were his eyes, and even that wasn’t super unique. Green hazel eyes were ‘rare’ to find but there were many people with colored eyes around him, Nines himself had eyes so incredibly captivating they could even be used for a commercial. Gavin wondered if there was anything about him that could be perceived as unique – not unique enough to be in a commercial, but at least unique enough to distinguish him from other guys. And yet, as he wondered, the frame of the mirror quickly faded back into his vision, reminding him of where he was.

Reminding him of who he was.

“What are you doing?”

After that, Gavin didn’t touch his phone for the entire shift.

It was the longest eight hours of his life, as if the moon refused to go down, Gavin felt trapped in time. He tried to read his books to keep himself busy, but it was pointless. A couple of lines in and he would be distracted by his own alarmingly loud thoughts. He couldn’t drown them out despite him playing music on the speakers, trying to focus on the songs only for them to turn into a reminder of some sort. There was a bitter truth about all of this, something Gavin hated to even entertain in his head, but that night it was painfully present. All throughout his life, Gavin had considered himself ‘strange’, or ‘weird’, even though the people around him had never called him that to his face. Part of him knew, however, that even if he did talk to people at school back then, he never really shared any of his interests with anyone. He knew what kids – teenagers his age talked about, and Gavin could hardly relate to them. Gavin had seen friends almost yelling at each other in excitement, while he always measured the tone of his voice.

And yet, last night Gavin heard his own laugh ringing in his ears.

“One conversation.” Gavin mumbled to himself, rocking his leg anxiously in his seat. “Just one conversation.”

If he tried to hear it again, something in his head started to ache.

He knew, had always known, that he was...not desperate, but hopeful for a connection. Someone who he could yell with in excitement, someone who he didn’t need to measure the tone of his voice. Someone that would hear him talk about all the things he found embarrassing to say out loud – his liking for fashion, his fondness over vintage videogames, his passion over criminal justice. He imagined himself having endless conversations with that someone, dreaming about when his eyes would burn out of sleepiness mid-conversation, and yet they would go on for hours. It was ironic, Gavin thought, maybe even fraudulent, that he presented himself to be such a shy, quiet guy when in his head, he couldn’t stop talking. But even Gavin, as hopeful and naïve as he was, could distinguish those thoughts as dreams. Or perhaps, not necessarily dreams, but an expectation that would hopefully become real...just not the way he dreamed it. Gavin could repeat last night in his head a million times, and yet that didn’t mean anything.

Just like his dreams, his expectations about Nines were just in his head.

“Good morning, Gavin!”

“Good morning...”

Just as he was getting too tired to keep thinking, his shift was finally over.

After exchanging a few words with his manager, Gavin grabbed his backpack and headed back to his apartment. The cold of the early morning made him sneeze, and by the time he was home he tucked himself to bed and passed out in his sheets. After tossing and turning in his bed for ten hours, Gavin woke up in a cold sweat from his hibernation. He sat up on the bed, dizzy and feeling strange, like he wasn’t quite back to himself. It took him a moment to stand up and take a shower to function again, though it was already six p.m. and the sun was already coming down. It felt surreal sometimes to go to sleep just as the sun was rising, and wake up when it was going down again. Gavin tried not to think about it – not about his boring life with no plans for the weekend, or about his exasperating solitude that one day would drive him to madness. He decided to make his night a bit more enjoyable by watching his comfort yaoi movie on his laptop and eating instant noodles. Gavin sat on the floor and left his laptop on the bed so he wouldn’t dirty the sheets.

One hour later, his room was completely dark.

“Ah—good old Japanese little guys.” Gavin hummed quietly, leaning forward to his laptop to choose another movie to play. “Please never fail me.”

The empty noodle cup rested by his side, with his half-full water bottle.

“Saw that, saw that...can’t watch that, that one looks like a kid—what the hell?”

Before he clicked onto the next page of movies, a red glint caught his eye.

“No.” Gavin surged to his feet once he realized his laptop was running out of battery. “Where—oh, don’t do this to me, I just asked you to not fail me.”

He attacked his backpack on the bed to get the charger out, struggling to untangle it after perfectly fitting it into a small pocket. He stumbled to his laptop and practically tossed himself onto it. He connected it to his laptop and turned sharply to the wall, trying to plug it in but struggling since the room was completely dark. Mumbled curses echoed off the walls as Gavin kept shoving the cable towards the outlet but kept uselessly hitting the plastic case against the wall. Annoyed, he looked for his phone on the floor to shine his flashlight on the outlet...but once again, he couldn’t find it in the darkness of the room. He passed his hand everywhere around where he was sitting, until the inevitable happened. His laptop turned off, leaving him adrift in the emptiness of his room. The only light coming through was from the little window next to the door, and even that was subtle. Yet, it was enough for Gavin to find his reflection on the turned off screen.

A little guy sitting in the middle of a dark room, with instant food trash on his floor, and a sad look in his eyes.

“Fuck.”

Gavin might never escape that sad little guy.

There was nothing else to do. He had done his homework, cleaned his apartment, and bought groceries; he didn’t have to go to work. And yet, there he was, sitting in the middle of a small room, staring at his turned off screen after watching cartoon boys making out. Gavin sighed quietly to himself, leaning closer to the bed to rest his chin on the sheets. He had enjoyed his evening as much as anyone else, he supposed, at least he remembered he was having fun up until the lights went out and he realized he was...alone. It was the same predicament over and over. He thought it would be fun to talk to someone about the movie he watched, yell about the scenes he liked the most, and maybe even yearn for a relationship like that one day. Thinking that was already embarrassing and yet, it always managed to make him smile...even if it was just a little. When he caught himself smiling, though, he only sighed even louder.

So, naturally, he decided to escape his reality with something else.

After looking for his phone for a couple of more seconds he finally found it, and he went to lie down on the floor to play videogames on his own. That, without a doubt, was always the best escapism for him. He’d forget about everything that worried him for a couple of hours, and he’d find joy in becoming something else for a while. Gavin was smart, he thought he was at least, and playing videogames online that challenged him to think ahead always gave him a sense of success. He knew what move to make, he could ‘predict’ in a way what would be better, and he’d get gratification from it right away. It was good to keep him sane and stable, at least for a good six hours. It wasn’t surprising that he didn’t feel sleepy at one a.m., after all he would normally be working at those hours and playing videogames too.

At least, Nines was counting on that.

“Send it. Send it. Just send it.”

He had been...counting on that for the past thirty minutes, as he stared at Gavin’s green little dot next to his name.

“Okay, final check—final check.” Nines blabbered as he sat on his bed, gripping his phone tightly. “Alright, so, ‘rematch?’, yeah? Is that cocky though—I can’t ever fucking tell.”

He started rocking back and forth on his bed, swaying his head left and right as he repeated the word ‘rematch’ under his breath like a lunatic, just in different tones.

“What if I ask Clay?” He mumbled. “Oh, Clay, seriously? His fucking car is purple and—it fucking has glitter on it, dumbass.”

The word ‘rematch’ might as well be an unknown language Nines was trying to decipher, as he squinted at it with intent.

“How about...’do you want to play with me?’, hm?” Nines nodded slowly, only for his face to break into an annoyed grimace. “Am I a five-year-old? Giving him my favorite—what? Train? I don’t even like trains—oh my god.”

Nines put his phone down on the bed, standing up to physically get some space from him and...Gavin, he supposed.

“We, had, a, good, time.” Nines said, turning to his mirror. “He, laughed, with, me. Not, at, me.”

His reflection might be frowning in confusion.

“He’s normal.” Nines worded out. “Not—okay, he’s weird, but like weird...like...us.”

Nines was negotiating with his reflection.

“One word.” He nodded. “One word, press send, move countries if he says no.”

Nines was holding his reflection hostage, as he couldn’t move from the mirror.

“One word.” He kept hyping himself up, shaking his shoulders to let go of the tension. “Just one word, ‘rematch’—without the question mark, just ‘rematch’ and that’s it. That’s it. If he replies we’re good, if he doesn’t, I kill myself, and we’re all good. We’re all okay.”

He took a deep breath, filling his lungs to exhale heavily onto the mirror, fogging it a bit.

“Stop looking at it.” He mumbled to himself, as he fixed his eyes on the ‘send’ button. “Stop, just do it, just...”

Nines leaned away from his phone, looking at his door while he blindly pressed the button.

“Did...” He glanced back at his screen, finding a cryptic ‘ooo’ added to his text. “Alright, maybe it’s fate. Maybe it’s—God, maybe it’s God.”

Somewhere in his mind, the image of God peeking from the sky and shrugging at him crossed his mind.

“Okay, oh my god.” Nines surged to his feet, standing from his bed to circle around in his bedroom. “What is wrong with you? It’s just one fucking text—one fucking—I'm not asking him, I don’t know? Can you drive me to work? Wash my socks? It’s a game, Nines. A stupid, little, dumb game he plays too—we literally went over this, we literally just played together, like, what is there to think? Why do you always do shit like this?”

Nines rubbed his face anxiously with both hands, feeling his skin being pulled roughly by his fingers. He let out a heavy sigh, emptying his lungs with despair and stared at the ceiling as he gathered his thoughts – or at least, tried to. For some reason, it always felt like just when he was about to make progress with his social anxiety, he would take a hundred steps back without realizing it. He knew this didn’t need to be a big deal, not when he had already played videogames with this guy and they enjoyed themselves a lot. He knew Gavin...enjoyed his company in that aspect, so he wouldn’t be inconveniencing him by asking him to do something he didn’t like. Chances were he liked playing videogames more than he liked him as a person. Yet, that wasn’t all in Nines’ mind. Even if it killed him to admit it, the thought of looking...clearly desperate was gnawing at him in his head.

So clearly, in fact, he knew Gavin could see it too.

The only reason why Gavin and him played together in the first place was because he needed to wash his clothes, nothing more, nothing else. If he randomly texted him in the middle of the night, at almost two a.m., then Gavin would know he had nothing else to do at this time of the night and he was up playing videogames just because. Gavin was probably working right now, doing his best with little sleep, and meanwhile Nines was...just here. In his bedroom with an expensive and comfortable mattress, unable to sleep, without anyone to spend time with, just...alone. Besides, Nines didn’t know if Gavin played with someone else during his shifts. Maybe there was another customer who also liked the same game and got along with Gavin. Matter of fact, maybe Gavin wasn’t as awkward as Nines thought he was, and maybe it was their interactions that were painfully clumsy.

And so, Nines spent one hour making a pros and cons list about asking Gavin to play videogames with him.

“What...” A little peek at his screen reminded him of the time. “Okay.”

Nines could’ve listed a hundred reasons why he should’ve texted Gavin that night, but one reason not to was enough to keep him from doing it. Clearly defeated, Nines turned off his phone and tossed it on the sofa in the corner of his room. His eyes burned from exhaustion; he had been sitting and standing repeatedly for an hour, and after that much overthinking his mind was completely drained. He felt like he had run a marathon, all while not leaving these sad four walls. Nines dropped on his bed, lying flat on the mattress as he buried his face into the sheets. The cold air of the AC was freezing everything except his burning head, which seemingly didn’t have a switch to turn off. Nines rubbed his face against his pillow, trying to brush that uncomfortable sensation of defeat from his head. But it was pointless, and before he knew it, he started to slowly lose consciousness.

Not even the street outside his house was as dark as that bedroom.

**

It was kind of a cliché, but that Monday morning felt like taking a bath in lemon juice with open wounds.

Gavin woke up on the floor, with his phone held tightly in his stupid little hand, and a really bad cold from sleeping without a blanket. Nines, on the other hand, woke up with his phone dangling from his fingers, and his sad, stupid reflection staring back at him on its wide screen. The first thing he did that morning was roll his eyes, and he didn’t have much hope for the rest of the day. Gavin experienced something similar, as the first thing he did was sneeze so hard he got dizzy. Attacked by himself, Gavin knew God was trying to tell him something first thing in the morning. Both got ready regardless of their absolute hopelessness for today, staying a couple of extra minutes under the hot water to think of their life choices. Gavin had a couple of lessons today, and Nines had the entire day booked until late at night, and he would find out details about the music video they were recording this week. In summary, there was nothing good going on today whatsoever.

But there could be.

“Good morning, Nines.”

“Good morning...”

Nines got in Clay’s car and pulled his blanket over him, glancing down to his phone over his lap.

“How did you sleep?”

“Terrible.” He mumbled, turning on his phone to mindlessly scroll through his apps. “You?”

“A bit better than you, apparently.” Clay said, glancing discreetly at Nines’ phone screen, though frowning when he saw him simply surfing his apps. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine.” Nines said, turning his screen on and off. “I just want today to be over, honestly.”

“It’s seven in the morning.”

“And I’m done with it.”

As Clay started to drive away, Nines found himself surfing through his apps again.

“Do you want me to buy you something to eat?” Clay asked.

“No,” Nines shook his head, staring at his phone almost mindlessly. “I’m good, thank you.”

Perhaps he hadn’t noticed his eyes were already fixed on something on his screen.

“Alright, try to sleep while we get to the studio.”

“Yeah.”

Nines did everything to contain his clear anxiety while staring at the Pokémon app.

“What...” He whispered quietly. “What time do...like, college students go to class, by the way?”

“It depends.” Clay said – who was also intentionally controlling the expression on his face. “It’s similar to the programs you’ve been in. They choose their classes, some go in the afternoon and some go in the morning.”

“I see.” Nines nodded slowly, opening the Pokémon app discreetly, tilting his body a bit far away from Clay’s sight. “And...did you go in the morning?”

Despite the obvious attempt at redirecting Clay’s attention somewhere else, Clay still played along.

“Yes, I did.” Clay responded. “I worked in the afternoon; I studied in the morning.”

“Oh...yeah?”

Nines’ mindless responses almost made him laugh, but he held it in.

“Try to nap, Nines.”

“Yeah, and...what time do college students...get off...uh, school?”

“It also depends on their career.” Clay continued. “Why?”

“I was just curious...” Nines mumbled. “I wanted to know...how busy they—you were, you know? Back in college.”

“Sure, I can talk to you about it...”

Yet, even Clay knew his own conversation was also mindless banter as he was confident Nines wouldn’t be napping at all – not after he saw that Gavin was online.

“Good morning, Gavin!”

“Ah—good morning, Tina.”

In Gavin’s case though, he wasn’t even aware that he was having a conversation as his attention was solely placed on that green dot by Nines’ gamertag.

“Do you remember the little stall I found where they have CyberLife apparel super cheap? I found another one that sells replicas of Julia Murphy’s designs—they're kind of pricey though, which I was like...we both know these are fake, why are you charging me this much? I still bought this really, really pretty bag though...and I don’t regret it, actually—I was thinking of going there today again...”

“Really?”

“Really!”

Gavin’s only dialogue option still worked.

It seemed that a model and a college student had much more in common than anyone could ever realize, as that Monday morning felt exactly the same. They were both busy with things that demanded their attention and were...not optional to attend, and yet, despite them being present, it kind of felt like a part of them was disconnected. Like a fly annoyingly buzzing close to their ears, no matter what they were doing, they couldn’t shoo it away. Gavin didn’t even know how he managed to take notes during his class as he had one eye on his phone the entire time, turning it on and off just to see if Nines was online – and Nines, on his end, took every chance he got between pictures to check his phone too, briefly logging into the app to see if Gavin’s little dot was green. It felt almost like they were...waiting for something to happen, despite them fully knowing nothing was bound to occur if they didn’t do anything to begin with. Perhaps it was courage they were looking for every time they saw their reflection on their screen, or maybe just childish hope of seeing an invitation come through.

Yet, every time they saw no notifications on their screen, they turned off their phone quickly as if to pretend they weren’t looking to begin with.

It was truly a helpless case. As the hours passed, their little act became evident to the people around them, though no one said anything just yet. Tina – who had basically adopted Gavin as her friend and followed him everywhere, noticed he was glancing at his phone a lot today. Even now that they were having lunch together at the cafeteria, he was constantly glancing up and down between his phone and her eyes as they talked. Or she talked; Gavin’s limited dialogue option turned him into more of a listener. Tina wondered if he was mid-discussion with someone as she recognized those miserable sighs too. While Gavin didn’t look exactly miserable, his eyes were slightly more hooded, and his lips were shyly pursed every time he grabbed his phone.

So, as the straightforward individual Tina was, she did the most natural thing she could think of: asking a question.

“Are you fighting with your girl—or boy, Gavin?”

Yet, that was enough to leave Gavin out of breath.

“What?” He breathed out a nervous chuckle, shaking his head. “No, no, no, I don’t get—I don’t have...uh, nothing, no one.” He put his phone down again on the table. “I just was...looking at my phone, my mom...texts me sometimes.”

“And what did she say?” Tina asked, raising a mischievous brow.

She wondered if Gavin was even aware of how expressive his tired-looking eyes actually were.

“You know, I'm taking a little course in body language.” Tina nodded, pulling her soda closer to her lips, sipping it from the straw. “Do you want to know what pursed lips and furrowed eyes mean?”

Gavin leaned away ever so slightly, yet he nodded in silence.

“It means...” Tina leaned forward, raising her brows at him. “Lying is a sin.”

“I’m not...” Gavin rubbed his hands nervously, scoffing shyly. “I’m not lying though.”

“Uh-huh, sure.” Tina comfortably leaned back, grabbing her soda closer to her lips. “And...so what did your mom say?”

Gavin pursed his lips even more, and this time Tina couldn’t help herself from laughing in his face.

“Fine, I'm being mean.” Tina sighed thinly, biting down feebly on her straw. “Who are you talking to, really?”

“I’m not talking to anyone...” Gavin said, his voice losing volume as he spoke. “I’m just checking...stuff out.”

Tina rested her soda on the table, raising a brow exaggeratedly high.

“So, now you’re lying to my face.” She said, her voice dropping in pitch.

“No, I’m not.” Gavin let out between shy chuckles, starting to hear his heart drumming in his ears. “I’m...really not even—I couldn’t even send the text...hah.”

Before Tina snarked back again, something about the look in Gavin’s eyes made her tilt her head in interest, noticing a clear shift in his expression.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to be mean.” Tina said softly. “Are you like...I don’t know, are you fighting with anyone right now?”

Perhaps it was something about these past few days that desensitized Gavin to his own loud heartbeats; because despite the unbearable noise in his head, he could still feel words on the tip of his tongue. In the past, he was sure, he would’ve frozen and stayed quiet, but now it was like he was getting used to the loudness in his head. In a way, he felt like he was taking advantage of it, using the noise to drown out his every thought, including those who shamed him. Because before Gavin knew it, he was trying to put his thoughts into words, nodding slowly as he seemingly practiced his sentences in his head. Tina leaned forward slightly, noticing the gradual shift in Gavin’s expression slowly gaining more determination as he thought. She had caught it before, even prior to their sudden friendship, but despite Gavin’s ‘introverted’ appearance, he had a lot to share.

Maybe Gavin just needed someone who wanted to listen for him to want to talk.

“I’m not...really fighting with anyone.” He admitted, feeling sweat dampening the gaps between his fingers. “I told you, I didn’t even...send the text yet.”

“To your...friend?” Tina raised a brow weakly, softening her voice even more. “Or who is it?”

“It’s just a...guy I met, I wouldn’t really—call him my friend yet.” Gavin said, rubbing the back of his hand on the table.

“Oh! Where did you guys meet?” Tina asked, prompting him to continue.

“My job...” Gavin continued, feeling his shoulders tensing slowly. “We kind of played videogames together and we added each other and all that...”

“Ah—right, and you wanted to see if he wanted to play with you.” Tina giggled, her eyes crinkling slightly. “That’s been me a million times, but I honestly just send a random text and hope for the best—and, and, I let them wait for my response too, like if they text back, I let them sit on it for a while.”

“I don’t...think I can do that.” Gavin tried to chuckle, though he felt his throat getting dry. “I mean, every time I get a text, I get jumpy.”

“I know! Me too.” Tina nodded. “But if it’s someone I like, I need to let them work for it too, you know?”

It had been so subtle that it flew over Gavin’s head.

“But I didn’t even send a text.” Gavin mumbled, shrugging weakly. “Hard to ignore someone who’s not even talking to you in the first place, hah.”

“I mean, true, true...” Tina hummed quietly, resting her soda on the table and tapping on it with her fingers wrapped around it. “I don’t know, is he online?”

“He was.” Gavin whispered, checking his phone sneakily before putting it down against the table again. “Yeah, he was.”

“Is he online a lot?” Tina asked. “Or is he like, busy all the time?”

“He’s busy often.” Gavin said, narrowing his eyes as he went back into his memories from today. “Or something like that, I guess? I don’t know, I kept checking and he was online every now and then, but for like, very short period of time. It’s like he logs in, plays a game, and then logs out.”

“Does he work?” Tina tilted her head slightly. “Maybe he plays during his breaks!”

“I—yeah, maybe.” Gavin nodded, trying not to laugh at the thought.

The image of a bunch of beautiful people playing Pokémon together never failed to be amusing to him.

“But I see why you would hesitate though.” Tina admitted. “He logs in and then logs out...kind hard to catch him online.”

“It’s not even that.” Gavin mumbled, hunching his shoulders even more. “I guess it’s...I know he’s busy, and then I’m...I guess it’s—we haven’t talked a lot, we just played that one time so I was like...”

Heat started to bloom so strongly in his head, Gavin could feel sweat falling down the back of his neck, trickling down his spine.

“I just don’t want to be weird about it.” Gavin managed to complete.

“You know what my mom used to say a lot?” Tina said, as Gavin nodded promptly. “She said that weird attracts weird.”

Gavin couldn’t help but grimace, half insulted but half curious.

“It’s never a coincidence that you end up talking to someone that’s a little bit like you.” Tina said, raising her soda at him before taking a sip. “I also think ‘weird’ is like a spectrum or something.”

“Ah—like ADHD?”

“No—I mean, yeah, but just...the word ‘spectrum’ you know.” Tina chuckled. “I mean look at us for example.”

To Tina’s amusement, Gavin’s grimace only worsened.

“I’m saying.” Tina raised her hand slightly. “Everyone in my life has always said I ‘talk a lot’.”

“Yeah, you do.”

To Gavin’s grace, Tina only laughed even louder.

“But it’s not a bad thing.” Gavin quickly tried to correct. “I like how you talk—when you talk, how you—like the things you say.”

“Yeah, and I like how you listen!” Tina giggled, taking a long sip. “But you don’t see a lot of people lining up to hear me talk about the new four jackets CyberLife released yesterday.”

“Well, they’re super expensive.” Gavin said, matter of fact. “I think they just can’t afford it.”

“No, I mean.” Tina’s cheeks were slowly tinting in a soft red. “How long did this guy play games with you?”

“Like...two hours, I think?” Gavin nodded. “I don’t know, we were talking about something else before that and then we started playing and we stopped talking...but we were in the zone.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about!” Tina said, pointing at him with her soda. “I don’t see a lot of guys lining up to play videogames with you, but he did for two hours, even talked to you and everything—and like, don’t you work at night? What time was it when you two were hanging out?”

“We weren’t hanging—it was like two a.m.”

“See!” Tina clapped her hands weakly. “Couple of weirdos.”

“People play videogames at two a.m. all the time.”

“Buddy, I was watching K-Dramas with my friends on call, at my house, comfy, and barely mumbling into the microphone.” Tina said. “Definitely not in the mood to do laundry or hang out with a dude.”

“I feel like you’re mad at me.” Gavin mumbled, leaning away ever so slightly.

“I’m just saying, dude was having fun, you were having fun too, it’s...not the most normal setting to hang out, but you made it work, and I think that’s because you match each other’s energy.” She nodded confidently. “Weird attracts weird.”

“He’s not that weird.” Gavin said, instantly tilting his head at his own words. “Or...like...”

“Right, everyone does laundry at two a.m.” Tina hummed exaggeratedly. “Also talks to a random guy for two hours because—what was he even cleaning for two hours?”

“His socks I think, he didn’t even let me look.”

“What if he was cleaning up bloody clothes and you didn’t even notice?”

“He’s not—he’s awkward but he’s not a criminal!” Gavin let out, unaware that he raised his voice a lot.

Enough for people in the cafeteria to stop and slowly turn towards their table.

“See?” Tina smiled softly, resting her chin on her hands, and her elbows on the table. “People think the same thing about you!”

Gavin dropped his jaw, though something in his head...clicked. Like the noise had faded and instead, all that was left was silence. Quiet enough to hear his thoughts clearly and realize they weren’t yelling at him anymore.

“How do you know I’m not a criminal though?”

They were amusing to listen to though.

“Shut up!” Tina giggled, seeing a shy smile spread on Gavin’s lips. “I just think...that if this dude was cool with talking to you at two a.m., in a laundromat of all places, and even played videogames with you...it doesn’t sound like he was doing it all against his will, you know what I mean?” She raised her brows at him. “If I was doing laundry at two a.m. I would be pissed off, tired, and would kick whoever tried to talk to me.”

“I mean, I don’t really talk to people.” Gavin said honestly. “We had kinda been talking for a couple of days now...it was building up.”

“Who talked to who first?”

“I guess I did?” Gavin frowned. “I just needed him to take off his facemask because we don’t allow customers to wear one at night.”

“Okay—but who talked to who for real?” Tina pressed.

“I...guess...” Gavin squinted. “We...did? I don’t know, I passed out and he was there and we kind of started talking a lot and then he left and came back the next day and we talked again and then he came back on Friday and we played.”

Tina lifted her soda to her lips, finishing it off.

“He’s totally being tortured by you right now.” Tina nodded sarcastically. “Poor guy can’t stop talking to you...Gavin, you need to give him a break.”

“I’m not even talking to him!”

“It’s sarcasm you brilliant dumbass.”

Gavin pressed his lips tightly together, suppressing a comeback that he considered too mean.

“Listen, here’s another thing my mom also used to say a lot.” Tina said, drawing a circle on the table for emphasis. “The worst he can say is ‘no’.”

“I would literally never talk to him again if he said no.”

“And do you really think he would just give you a hard ‘no’ and that’s it?”

Gavin was forced once again to press his lips tightly together, though this time in thought.

“I don’t know, to me it sounds like you two are the same type of weird.” Tina nodded confidently. “Befriending someone because you saw them pass out, hah—nice.”

“I don’t even know if he thinks of me as a friend.”

“Well, we’re trying to become detectives here, so go there and find out.” Tina pointed at the door with a tilt of her head. “Look for evidence.”

“That’s some—corny shit.”

“Corny shit is not texting some dude to play Pokémon with you.”

“How did you—”

“Do you think I don’t see you with the game on your screen?”

Tina started giggling, and in reflex, Gavin did too.

“When are you going to see him?” Tina asked.

“Tomorrow, I think...” Gavin responded. “He said that at least.”

“Alright, then when you see him ask him if he wants to play the next day or something—or even better, wait and see if he asks.” Tina suggested. “If he can make plans with you outside of your...workplace, then you’re in friend territory.”

“Is that how it works?”

“It is now.” Tina tapped on the table with her hand. “I’ve said it.”

Gavin looked down to his phone, turning it on just to check the time and glancing at his reflection on the screen.

“I can totally see why he would want to talk to you super late at night.” She said, grabbing his attention again. “You’re definitely the guy I would want to talk to at two a.m.”

“Why?” Gavin frowned weakly.

Tina tilted her head slightly, nodding at her own thoughts before she even gave an answer.

“Because you look like you wouldn’t judge me.” Tina responded.

Throughout all his years, this had been the first time Gavin had heard that.

“Ah—thank you.”

He wondered if Tina knew how much impact she had made on him that day.

Gavin didn’t check his phone again for hours, until he was on his way to work. He had spent his last remaining hours on campus studying and talking to Tina in the cafeteria before his alarm rang, reminding him he needed to start going if he didn’t want to be late. Tina walked him to the bus stop as usual, and they parted ways, leaving Gavin to his thoughts again. Though now it felt...different. Even when his body resented his anxiety, Gavin could listen to himself a bit clearer than he could yesterday. He understood his hesitation as much as he understood his excitement, but his talk with Tina had definitely put some things into perspective. He had been too focused on his own nervousness that he never considered Nines’ role in all of this – which was...ironic considering most of his self-deprecating thoughts started by comparing himself to Nines.

Maybe being ‘boring’ was a good thing.

Or at least, it could be. Maybe him having a more ‘normal’ life was what grabbed Nines’ attention in the first place. The fact that he was just some dude with nothing going on, free from the spectacle of fame and a lot of money – just mundane normalcy he was sure Nines...maybe craved. As he arrived at work and started his cleaning duties, he went back to the previous nights and remembered their interactions one by one. Maybe the reason why he laughed every time he thought about models playing videogames together was because it sounded ridiculous – and maybe it was. He didn’t know if models did that on their spare time at work, but he assumed they had to keep some sort of persona in front of each other. Gavin couldn’t really imagine what it was like to be in Nines’ position, but he could imagine what it was like to look for something to escape. No wonder he saw him logging in and out repeatedly all throughout the day, even if it was just for a moment.

As two a.m. got closer, Gavin started to wonder...why would someone like Nines come do his laundry at this time of the night in the first place?

“Not done with work you said...” He mumbled to himself, in the emptiness of the laundromat. “What do you even do so late?”

There were many things slowly connecting in Gavin’s head, and the more the gears turned, the more Nines’ attitude made sense to him. Nines, similar to him, had limited free time in his busy schedule and enjoyed playing videogames every time he got the chance. He probably lost track of time when they were playing because he was enjoying himself a lot, and maybe he wasn’t used to having company that often. At least, not someone that wouldn’t...judge him. Gavin wondered if the other models were...mean, or uptight. He could totally see why Nines wouldn’t fit in with them anyway, as he was too nice to surround himself with that kind of person. Maybe he was biased – most definitely, but Gavin couldn’t stop thinking about Nines eagerly gifting him stuff and being very understanding with him and his social struggles. Though he guessed he...was also understanding with his.

Maybe looking ‘boring’ made him less threatening.

“I mean, yeah.” Gavin whispered, looking down at his opened book on the desk. “That’s probably why...”

It was a bittersweet conclusion that didn’t feel quite satisfying, but it did feel like a weight being lifted from his shoulders.

“Random guy I met at a laundromat...” He mumbled, doing his best Nines’ impression. “Some random guy I met...”

It was hard to say, but despite his body feeling lighter, there was still something stinging in his head.

“Even his ex is a model.” He said. “Maybe his parents were too...”

As his gaze drifted over to the window, his solitude prompted him to keep talking to himself just so there was noise in the room.

“Some random guy and that’s it.”

By the time Gavin found his reflection in the glass, he couldn’t help but brush his face with his hand.

“Alright.” He sighed quietly, leaning down to his backpack to grab his blanket. “Let’s actually shut up for a hot second.”

It was about time for Gavin to take his nap of the day, and since today Nines wasn’t coming in to do his laundry, there was no reason for him to stay awake at all. So, following his usual routine, he laid down on the desk and kept one eye open, though he was barely conscious and paying attention at all. There were no customers at this time of night, and everything was so quiet and peaceful it was easy for him to start dozing off. Gavin had mastered the ability of falling asleep with his eyes mildly open, though he guessed that also worsened his dark circles in a way. In any case, this was for the best. He couldn’t stop thinking and rationalizing things that...maybe didn’t need to be rationalized. At least not now, and not this way. Gavin had enough time to do introspection outside of work and maybe cry somewhere else where people weren’t looking, because he knew that if he entertained these thoughts longer, he might open some wounds he wasn’t ready to revisit. Though he guessed it didn’t make a difference and he could tear up a bit, since there was really no one looking.

When the world started to become blurry, he began to mistake even shadows in the dark.

“Good...evening?”

If it wasn’t for the bell over the door, Gavin would have, most definitely, gone blind.

“Ah—holy shit.” Gavin leaned back sharply, wiping away his shameful tears with his hands. “Sorry I—is it Tuesday? I thought—it’s Monday, right?”

Nines managed to take one step before he noticed the expression on Gavin’s face, freezing him in place instantly.

“What happened?” Nines asked, as Gavin rubbed his eyes even harder. “Gavin?”

“It’s fine.” Gavin chuckled nervously, dismissing it with his hand. “I’m just...super tired, I think.” He managed, taking a deep breath to stop his crying. “Anyway—wow, that...sucks.”

Nines didn’t notice when he started walking up to him, and when he realized his hands were already resting on Gavin’s desk.

“Did someone do something to you?” Nines asked. “A...bad customer?”

“No, no.” Gavin kept chuckling weakly. “There’s not even anyone here, hah.”

Every time Gavin took a deep breath, Nines would find himself filling his lungs too.

“So, what’s up?” Gavin asked, trying to compose his voice. “It’s not Tuesday...laundry night.”

“Yeah, it’s...I won’t be here tomorrow, so.” Nines said, nodding slowly. “I needed to get some stuff cleaned before I...leave.”

“Leave?” Gavin sniffed, clearing his throat. “Like, on a trip?”

“Yeah...for work.” Nines responded, instinctively softening his voice. “I won’t be back until Sunday; it’s going to be so bad.”

“Oh.” Gavin blinked, as a weak smile spread on his lips. “Uh, really?”

Suddenly, his small tantrum over him not being here on Friday felt...even more embarrassing.

“Yeah, but I don’t really, uh, like hotels a lot, so I always take some stuff with me...like a blanket I like, and...you know.” Nines said, tilting himself slightly to show him the backpack on his shoulders. “I brought some stuff here.”

“Ah—I see, I see.” Gavin mumbled. “Alright, then—good luck on your trip.”

“Thank you.”

As Nines slowly slid off his hands off the desk, he still couldn’t break eye contact with Gavin.

“Are you really okay?” Nines pressed.

“Yeah—yeah.” Gavin nodded, leaning back on his seat. “It’s just...if I’m tired, I feel everything a lot more, I think.”

It was ironic, Gavin thought, how easy it was to talk to this man, and how difficult it was to think about him.

“I’m sorry.” Gavin apologized. “But I promise I won’t pass out this time.”

“I don’t care.” Nines said, once again, a victim of his own mindless talking. “I—don’t mind if you pass out I mean, like I would—I’m not—it’s not a problem.”

Perhaps this same irony made things difficult on its own.

“One of these days I’m going to say something super fucked up and you’ll be like ‘happy to hear that’, and it’s ‘my dog died’ or something like that.” Gavin scoffed, seeing Nines drop his jaw and shake his head rapidly.

“I’m not that dense.” Nines defended himself as he walked up to a washing machine. “I’m just stupid, not dense.”

“You sound like me.” Gavin gasped sarcastically, and Nines copied him. “Twins.”

Before Gavin knew it, there were no traces of tears anymore.

“I can barely speak to a person, have some compassion.” Nines sighed quietly, tossing many blankets inside the washing machine. “I’m trying my best over here.”

“It’s fine—I’m sorry.” Gavin said, resting his arms on the desk.

As Nines prepared his laundry to get cleaned, Gavin was slowly resting his cheek on his little pillow again. He didn’t plan on...sleeping again, it was almost done on autopilot in a way. As if his body was trying to tell him he wasn’t ready to have a conversation yet, and he needed to recharge before submitting himself to stressful situations like talking to a supermodel who was also lowkey giving him an existential crises. Besides, he could see Nines doing his own thing in silence too, so he guessed he didn’t need any ‘boring’ company tonight. It sort of made sense now, Gavin thought, that he had received all that attention that day. Nines had a bad day, he remembered him mentioning his ex and everything. He was definitely looking for a way to escape his reality, and Gavin was simply perfect for that. But tonight, Gavin didn’t feel like being a distraction, despite him wanting to talk to Nines, something in his head was stopping him from engaging in conversation again. Maybe it was stubbornness, or maybe it was his own self-esteem.

Maybe it was Tina’s words echoing in his ears.

Part of him was...curious, and another part of him was convinced he already knew how things would go. Part of him knew Nines wouldn’t talk to him at all tonight if he didn’t try to talk to him first. If he looked miserable then for sure Nines would try to cheer him up, so Gavin put on his best neutral expression while he looked at his phone to play dumb. A part of him believed Nines had only come here to wash a couple of things and he would be leaving very soon, as he didn’t even bring his hamper tonight. In a way, Gavin was waiting for when Nines would leave, almost like he was kicking him out in his head. He waited for the moment Nines would grab his stuff and say goodnight, exchange one or two polite words with him before he left. And yet, even when he was convinced that would happen, a small part of him wanted to...hope. Even if it sounded ridiculous in his head, Gavin hoped that Nines would be the one to ask him questions and engage in conversation with him tonight.

Ironically, Nines was waiting for the same thing.

It was like there were two lost men at sea waiting to be rescued, not realizing they each had a boat to get into. Nines sat down on the bench staring at his washing machine in silence, though his eyes were firmly fixed on the reflection of the glass door, staring at Gavin through it. As for Gavin, he too was staring at Nines through the reflection of the window, trying to read his expression as well. Seconds turned into minutes, their reflections expressed little to nothing, and the longer they waited, the louder the hissing of the washing machine got. Nines could feel each of his fingers sweating and his leg rocking anxiously. He didn’t know what had happened to Gavin today, but he could feel how different things were from last time. Nines starting asking himself a million questions, trying to figure out if he had done something wrong or if this had nothing to do with him in the first place. He had found Gavin tearing up when he arrived, so Nines was almost convinced this weird atmosphere wasn’t his fault. But then, what could he do? If Gavin didn’t want to talk, what could a guy that couldn’t even send a text do?

A loud beep interrupted the stillness, and just then both realized how long they had been sitting in silence.

Like his limbs were glued together, Nines found it hard to stand up and get the clothes out of the washing machine into the dryer. Every movement felt wrong and strange, almost like he was remembering how to do it in the first place. As he moved the blankets and pillowcases into the dryer, Nines realized he couldn’t see Gavin’s expression anymore – at least not in that moment. That was enough to make him feel hot in the face, convinced – for some reason, that Gavin must be watching his awkward movements and getting even more weirded out. Nines’ breath was burning him, and yet, his fingers felt exceptionally cold. It was a sensation he was painfully familiar with – a sensation he couldn’t stand. He had felt this way all throughout the day, having meetings with people he didn’t feel comfortable with, taking pictures in one venue and another, receiving instructions like a dog performing tricks. Nines had disconnected with himself all day, and all he wanted at the end of his ‘shift’ was to go back. Playing videogames and escaping his reality for a couple of minutes wasn’t enough, he wanted to talk and be talked to like a normal person.

When he closed the dryer’s glass door, his own disappointment stared back at him.

“Gavin.”

Nines wanted to escape that disappointed pathetic guy.

“Y—yeah?” Gavin let out, taken aback to hear him talk after half an hour.

They figured that if the air in their lungs kept burning them, all they needed to do was exhale deeper.

“Are you...” Nines began to take little steps towards him. “...feeling better now?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Gavin nodded slowly, straightening his spine subtly in his seat.

Despite them not knowing what to say to each other, they maintained eye contact until Nines was standing directly in front of Gavin’s desk.

“So...” Nines cleared his throat, tucking his hands into his hoodie pockets. “I don’t—I’m not really the best at comforting people, I think you can—kinda see that.” He scoffed nervously, drawing a weak smile on Gavin’s lips. “I was also the guy that put a hoodie over you when you passed out and didn’t call an ambulance.”

“I was relieved you didn’t though.” Gavin confessed, interlacing his fingers together on the desk. “I can’t really...imagine a worse thing than...making a scene like that.”

“Making a scene?” Nines frowned, visibly surprised. “Gavin, you passed out because of how tired you were.”

“Yeah—but it’s just me not sleeping.” Gavin said, rocking ever so slightly in his seat. “I don’t know—it’s like, I can control it, you know? I just need to...sleep.”

Nines tilted his head slightly to his right, seeing as Gavin tilted his own to his left.

“Pretty sure it’s not that easy.” Nines said, shrugging weakly. “Especially with...college and everything.”

“Ah—well, kind of.” Gavin nodded. “My mom used to say it’s all about balance.”

“You said your mom is a detective, right?” Nines asked, blinking as he saw Gavin’s cheeks slowly going red. “She sounds pretty smart.”

“She is.” Gavin hummed, rubbing the back of his hand comfortingly. “So...”

Out of the previous occasions they have interacted, Nines could tell Gavin was a bit more...apprehensive to talk to him than the other times.

“Are you sure...that everything is okay?”

Part of Nines really wanted to believe this sudden change in Gavin had nothing to do with him, but this seemingly inexplicable switch was also way too familiar.

“Yeah—no, it’s just.” Gavin chuckled nervously. “I’m sorry, I don’t really know how to...I guess say it.”

A freezing cold wave struck him down his spine, like electricity making Nines straighten his back.

“I guess it’s...” Gavin looked away, rubbing his hands even harder.

He was completely oblivious to the gross amount of sweat falling on the back of Nines’ neck.

“Sometimes I get really tired of my routine.” Gavin finally revealed.

By the time Gavin looked up to meet his eyes again, he saw Nines looked incredibly flustered, like he had run a marathon while he wasn’t looking.

“Wow—you okay?” Gavin raised his hands weakly as Nines touched his cheek gently, feeling it burning to the touch. “Nines?”

“I think—this hoodie is fucking me up.”

With a sharp pull, Nines took off his hoodie and rolled it up in his hands, tossing it gently next to his backpack on the bench.

“Okay.” Nines exhaled quietly through his nostrils. “Sorry about that.”

“You’re okay.” Gavin said softly, clearing his throat. “But yeah—it was just...that.”

“Right, right...routine.” Nines hummed, slowly leaning closer to the desk. “Do you think you could...take some days off, maybe?”

“Oh—no.” Gavin shook his head. “It’s only my manager and I here, they still don’t let us hire another person, the more days off I can request are two for now...” He commented. “I don’t want to put my manager through that.”

“But it’s your...right, to take days off when you need them.” Nines frowned weakly. “It’s not like your manager can say no.”

“Yeah—no, but it’s not about that either.” Gavin clarified. “I just don’t want her to overwork herself. I know she’s got two kids and...I don’t know, if I have it rough and I’m alone, I can’t imagine how it is for her.”

Like a cat approaching another, Nines was gently placing his hand over his desk very slowly, testing out the waters.

“You’re very considerate.” Nines said.

“Not really.” Gavin responded without thinking. “Like—or maybe like, in some ways, maybe.”

“Right.” Nines chuckled, placing his other hand over the desk. “Well, if you can’t take days off why don’t you...maybe try to do something different? Something that you normally do in your every day life, but...just different.”

“Like what?” Gavin tilted his head with curiosity.

Nines squinted in thought, looking back into his own routine.

“I guess...sometimes I get coffee from different places to ‘shake things up’.” Nines nodded. “Sometimes I try a new work out...or maybe play a new game.”

“I hate working out.” Gavin said so sincerely, shaking his head with a grimace twisting his lips. “I used to be on the track team in high school but, if you let me choose, I would choose not to be working out.”

“Oh, I don’t like to work out either.” Nines responded, seeing as Gavin started to slowly narrow his eyes with skepticism. “What?”

Without saying anything, Gavin only raised a brow at him in response.

“I don’t though!” Nines insisted. “I do—because I have to, not because I want to...” He shrugged weakly. “I’m pretty sure you do things you don’t want to do because you have to do them too.”

“Work.” Gavin let out bluntly, quickly shaking his head. “Okay, no, but in my routine...I don’t know. It’s not like I don’t like what I do...it’s just that sometimes I want to do...other things too, you know?”

Nines didn’t notice when he had rested his arms on the desk, and was now leaning closer to Gavin to listen better.

“Like what?” Nines whispered.

Gavin, on the other hand, was so incredibly conscious of the distance between them that he ended up leaning back.

“I—well, I like to—maybe go to the—an arcade.” Gavin cleared his throat, trying to keep it together. “I like playing games, so.”

“I know an arcade.” Nines let out excitedly, lifting his chin. “I’ve been there a couple of times, and it’s really cool.”

“Oh, where?” Gavin asked.

“It’s like...” Nines parted his lips, scoffing nervously under his breath. “I don’t...really know where it is—I’m terrible with street names.”

“Is it close to here?” Gavin tried to help locate it.

“Yeah—yeah! It is.” Nines nodded. “It’s like...maybe twenty minutes from here.”

“It’s a bit far away from my apartment then.” Gavin said. “I have to take the bus here, and it leaves me like two blocks away from the laundromat.”

“Wow, that’s terrible.” Nines said bluntly, though before he could apologize, Gavin started to chuckle.

It was like a reflex, as Nines started to laugh too.

“Maybe I could use my day off to go to the arcade.” Gavin said. “I’ll save up to play a lot of games.”

“I have a card if you want it.” Nines, once again, spoke without thinking. “Like—it doesn’t have money it just gives you a discount.”

“Oh—discount?” Gavin’s gaze lit up with excitement. “How much?”

“Fifty percent.”

“Oh—oh my god.” Gavin clapped his hands together, making Nines giggle.

Soon, that tender rose wasn’t just covering Nines’ cheeks, but Gavin’s too.

“Hold on, let me get it...” Nines leaned back from the desk and walked to his backpack, searching for his wallet.

After a few seconds, he pulled it out and slid out the card from one of the compartments.

“Here we go.” Nines said, handing it over to him. “You just pass it over the game sensor and the discount is applied.”

Stars might as well be drawn in Gavin’s eyes.

“Oh—it’s so pretty.” Gavin said, staring at the golden card in his hands. “And how many times can I use it?”

“As many times as you want.” Nines shrugged. “I think I used it...like four times only? I don’t know.”

“What?” Gavin put the card down with a thud, making Nines flinch. “Why only four?”

“I just—don’t have time to go.” Nines chuckled shyly, resting his arms again on the desk. “So, instead of me having it and not using it, maybe you should have it instead.”

Maybe it was their conversation deafening Gavin’s inner voice for once, because suddenly even Nines’ voice sounded a bit...different.

“That’s so sad.” Gavin said, with the blunt honesty that distinguished him.

 An honesty Nines couldn’t help but like.

“Maybe.” Nines shrugged weakly. “But I get lectured a lot about how I spend my money so...you know, I don’t want to prove them right, might as well use it for good.”

Gavin glanced up and down to the card and Nines.

“Why don’t you try using it one last time before you give it to me?” Gavin asked. “I don’t think it’s fair you just...you know, I don’t even know how expensive this was, and it feels like you’re throwing it away but you don’t...like you bought it because you wanted it.”

“Well, of course I bought it because I wanted it.” Nines chuckled. “I might spend money a bit too much but I always use it on things I like.”

“I’m saying!” Gavin slid the card over to him. “Use it one last time and if you don’t want it anymore then I volunteer as a dumpster.”

“Dumpster?” Nines covered his mouth with his hand, stifling a loud wheeze. “Shut up.”

“Anyway, thank you though.” Gavin said – at this point ignoring the burning sensation in his cheeks. “I appreciate you wanting to help.”

“What?” Nines frowned, looking down at the card and sliding it closer to him again. “I said I’m giving it to you; I already gave it to you.”

“And I said I don’t want it unless you use it one last time.” Gavin reaffirmed, nodding firmly. “I can try the coffee thing you said, I like coffee a lot.”

“Oh—I also have a membership card to a coffee shop downtown.”

Gavin pursed his lips weakly, though Nines noticed his grimace instantly.

“What?” Nines mumbled.

“I take it you like giving gifts.” Gavin said, watching Nines’ cheeks get progressively more red. “I think they called it a ‘love language’ or something, ha—eh, like, it’s a psychology thing, not—not like—another thing.”

Soon, both blaring alarms were staring at each other.

“Anyway, thank you.” Gavin stood up from his seat. “Ah.”

Realizing then he couldn’t just exit the laundromat and escape the situation.

“Anyway.” So, naturally, he sat down again.

“Yeah?” Nines had frozen on his spot, unable to move his arms from the desk apparently.

“I don’t know.”

For a couple of seconds, the hissing of the dryer was the only noise interrupting the silence.

“So—your trip.” Gavin clapped his hands together, trying desperately to change the subject. “Where you—where are you going?”

“I’m—don’t change the subject.”

Nines, however, was desperately trying not to touch that other subject.

“Nines.”

“Gavin.”

“You need to stop giving me stuff!” Gavin chuckled a bit too loudly out of nervousness. “I can’t—it’s—I like them—I do, it’s just that I—so, I can’t really—I don’t have money to like—you know.”

“But I don’t want you to pay me back!” Nines was laughing like his life depended on it too. “You don’t give gifts expecting—a payback or something.”

“No, I know, it’s just that your gifts are so cool and I’m—I can’t do that.” Gavin rubbed his cheeks with his hands. “I don’t have cool stuff—I’m not like...you know.”

Nines instinctively looked down to the golden card, frowning slightly at those words.

“Well, I might have them.” Nines said, exhaling slowly to calm down. “But what’s the point if I can’t even use them?”

Gently, Nines slid the card over to Gavin again.

“But you don’t know if you won’t be able to use them in the future.” Gavin said. “Maybe if you...plan it with a lot of anticipation, spare a day to go to the arcade and just have fun...maybe if it’s just a couple of hours, I know you’ll have fun.”

“I was going to have dinner with my friend this Friday and that got cancelled.” Nines said. “Because this trip came up, and I don’t have a say in it.”

“Can’t you ask your...boss to give you a day off?” Gavin asked hesitantly. “Or maybe even a longer break.”

“I don’t know, it’s not...that easy.” Nines mumbled, twisting his lips ever so slightly. “I’m...supposedly, I have Monday off, or that’s what he told me.”

“That’s great! Mondays are always slow everywhere; you’ll have the arcade to yourself.” Gavin said excitedly. “You should go then.”

“I—yeah, I guess I could...” Nines looked down to the card, tapping over it with his finger. “I just—I guess it’s just, there’s a lot of games and everything but—like, the really nice ones are not...you can’t play them...with just one...”

“With just one what?” Gavin frowned.

“Like, play them alone, I mean.”

It was two a.m. again.

“Do you—do you think...” Nines could feel himself hesitating, as much as he did last night.

Only now he refused to let more time pass – he refused to be scared of the world he so desperately wanted to be a part of.

“Do you think we could go together?”

It only took them two days to finally send a message.

“Yeah—yes.” Gavin responded, trying for dear life not to stutter. “When?”

“Monday.”

“Right.”

Gavin switched his focus to simply be present in the conversation instead.

“And...what time?” Gavin asked.

“I don’t know what time your classes are...over.” Nines said, rocking his feet nervously out of Gavin’s sight.

“On Monday I’m off at...two.” Gavin squinted, remembering his schedule. “I can be off at midday, actually, because the last class is a presentation a professor is going to give.”

“I think the arcade opens at four.”

Gavin bit down on his tongue so hard he was sure he popped it.

“Then at four.”

“But it’s so far away from your college, right?” Nines asked, and Gavin nodded – choosing to stay quiet to not fuck up anything anymore. “Then what about we...we can...I don’t know if you’re hungry at that time of the day.”

“Yes.” Gavin responded, using his limited dialogue options now.

“Great—good, so we can go eat something first...” Nines said, feeling his throat getting dry. “We can—where do you...what do you like to eat?”

It was hard to use his limited options when Nines couldn’t stop asking him questions.

“Pizza.” Gavin still kept it at one word minimum.

“Oh, nice, I love pizza.” Nines responded, resisting the urge to clear his throat. “Then I pick you up at...do you—do you wanna go home and change or are you okay like, going out right after your classes?”

“I’ll need to change.” Gavin let out, quickly realizing what Nines had said. “Actually—no.”

“You don’t need to change?”

“No—I can take the bus.” Gavin said. “You don’t have to pick me up.”

“But I...have a car...” Nines mumbled, seemingly insulted. “Why not?”

“I just don’t want to be a bother.”

“But I offered to pick you up?” Nines frowned even harder. “You didn’t ask me to do anything.”

“I know but I live so far away.”

“That’s okay, it’ll give me an excuse to get off work earlier.” Nines said, nodding at his own words. “So, pizza and then the arcade, okay?”

Gavin had to place his hands on his lap and dig his fingers into his legs, trying to stop rocking them.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Nines blew off some steam by chuckling under his breath, and he gave himself a break by looking away to the dryer to ‘check on his clothes’, though he already knew it hadn’t finished yet.

“Hey—uh, Nines.” Gavin called out his name, as his voice cracked.

Apparently, being asked to hang out was enough to make him go through puberty again.

“Yes?” Nines turned to him.

“Would it be okay with you if I cover the pizza?” Gavin asked, shrinking his shoulders slightly. “I feel like you’re already covering a lot.”

“No, I’m not.” Nines raised a brow in confusion. “Or what do you mean?”

“You know, driving me, and then the card for the arcade.” Gavin said. “I feel like that’s a lot.”

Nines didn’t notice when he started smiling from ear to ear.

“You have a thing with money, don’t you?” Nines asked.

“Oh—did you notice that just now?” Gavin let out, mildly annoyed.

His voice made Nines chuckle loudly, leaning forward again on his desk.

“I don’t really mind.” Nines said, exhaling quietly. “I already don’t go out at all, I don’t...spend money a lot.”

“You have a lot of packs in your Pokémon.”

“Let’s not count that.”

“But it does, though.”

“It doesn’t—I mean that I never go out with people so I never get to treat anyone.”

Despite Nines trying to control his breathing, he couldn’t stop his hammering heart from hitting his chest.

“No one ever invites me to places.” Gavin said. “So, I think that’s why I feel like...I should treat you something too.”

Something about Gavin’s clear nervousness yet steady voice felt strangely reassuring.

“As long as you don’t ghost me then we’re good.” Nines said, doing his favorite reckless thing to break the tension; joke.

“I can’t handle ghosting.” Gavin responded sincerely. “If I get a text, I get jumpy, I can’t imagine what blocking someone will make me feel. It’ll be like feeling like someone’s following me all the time.”

“I won’t follow you if you ghost me.”

“You’ll know where I live and where I work, I don’t know about that.”

At some point during their conversation, staring at each other’s eyes started to feel a bit natural.

“It’ll be a...good way to break your routine then.” Gavin said, feeling his cheeks sore already. “At least you’ll have a plan to help you push through during your trip.”

“Honestly? Yeah.” Nines nodded. “I’m not really looking forward to any of that.”

“I’m sorry.” Gavin said. “Work trips can be stressful for sure.”

“I hate them.” Nines admitted. “I never sleep good if it’s not my bed, I don’t like hotels.”

“Why not?”

Nines twisted his lips and simply shook his head in silence.

“I just feel better in my house.” Nines said. “I think it’s my—my, hold on.”

“Yeah?”

“We were talking about you.”

Gavin frowned, and Nines dropped his jaw in shock.

“We were trying to find a way to break your routine, not mine.” Nines emphasized, pointing down at the floor with his hand. “And we made plans and everything.”

“I mean—it breaks my routine too.” Gavin said, raising his hands as if Nines was pointing a gun at him. “I have something to look forward to.”

“Yeah, but it’s not...” Nines tilted his head in thought. “How about...”

“Are we really doing this?”

“Wait, let me think.”

“But we already—!”

“Ah.” Nines tapped the desk with his hand, grabbing Gavin’s attention. “How about you start a new hobby?”

“Too expensive.” Gavin said without thinking. “Also, I don’t have room in my tiny apartment to fit anything else.”

“Oh.” Nines hummed quietly. “Then...what about you do something you already do but...differently?”

“I could mop the floors at the end of my shift instead of in the beginning.” Gavin said, seriously considering it. “Or take a shower with super cold water instead of hot...”

“Gavin.”

“I’m being serious.”

“How about a new game?” Nines suggested. “I can buy it for you.”

“Nines.”

“I’m...being serious.”

“Ay.”

“No, and I’m obsessed with Pokémon Arena anyway.” Gavin shrugged. “I can’t play anything else for now.”

“I’m running out of options here.” Nines said, with sad looking puppy eyes. “Help me out here.”

“Help you to help me?”

“Yes.”

“Goddamn.” Gavin couldn’t help but giggle, sighing thinly as he looked up to the ceiling. “Okay, let me think...”

Yet, it only took him one second to come up with something.

“Well.” Gavin mumbled, clearing his throat. “I think I know...what.”

Hours ago, Gavin was having a crisis over this very same thing.

“If you have time, we could play together.”

He didn’t know whether to call this ‘character development’ or psychosis.

“Yes—yeah, sure.” Nines responded instantly, a bit too fast. “Yup.”

If the four different ways of saying ‘yes’ wasn’t enough, Nines also nodded.

“Perfect, nice.” Gavin gave him an awkward thumbs up. “I think that’s good enough of a change.”

“Yup.”

Like fate had mercy on them, it gave them a couple more minutes to look at each other in silence before the dryer beeped.

“Ah, already?” Nines turned towards it, staring with annoyance at the super-efficient machine.

How dare it finish what Nines asked it to do?

“Well, you didn’t bring a lot to dry out...” Gavin said as Nines walked up to it. “It finishes fast if it’s too little.”

“A little too fast.” Nines mumbled, hearing Gavin giggle behind him.

Only after Nines removed all his items from the dryer and closed the glass door did he notice the bright smile on his lips.

“Anyway...” He heard Gavin say. “You don’t want to be too tired for your trip.”

Nines started packing his blankets and pillowcases in his backpacks slowly – perhaps, a little too slowly.

“It’s fine, I’ll sleep in the car...”

Slow enough to stretch time and let him think.

Nines had played out all the scenarios about tonight in his head, and none of them had happened the way he thought they would. In fact, the night had ended on a much different, better note than Nines imagined. It was everything he hoped for, more than any of his expectations. He had managed to talk to Gavin properly, to make him laugh, and to make him feel better. He had managed to break through his own walls and invite him to hang out almost a whole day, and by the looks of it, Gavin was excited too. Everything was pointing at a truth Nines didn’t think was possible but now couldn’t wait to embrace. Gavin wanted to be his friend too, and their compatibility would surely make a lot of things easier. Nines couldn’t even talk without stuttering when they met, and now he was laughing out loud and without a care. Part of him knew this was good, he could see the potential in their friendship, and he was eager to see it play out. He was eager to discover a connection he’d been yearning for.

A connection he knew was only possible if he was...himself.

“Hey, Gavin.”

“Yeah?”

“I think I need to...tell you something.”

Nines wanted it so much he knew it was worth the risk.

“It’s...possible there’ll be people looking at us weird when we go out.” Nines said, seeing as Gavin started frowning. “And maybe even taking...pictures, sometimes they do that, but it’s not...I just want you to know it’s fine if you feel uncomfortable and you want to back out or...change plans.”

“I don’t...understand.” Gavin mumbled. “Looking at us weird...why?”

Nines took a quiet deep breath, rearranging his ideas, putting his thoughts into words before finally saying,

“I think I never told you what I do for work, because I was a little...I guess embarrassed.” Nines said. “But I’m actually...for a very long time now, I’ve been in the...uh, modelling...industry since I was little, yeah.”

Gavin’s brows raised slightly, though he kept himself quiet.

“My...work trip actually is to record a music video for a...it’s a summer...campaign for clothes and all of that.” Nines continued. “The one I told you is with my ex—actually, hah.”

“Oh.” Gavin mumbled, nodding slowly. “No wonder you don’t want to go.”

“Yeah.”

Nines gripped his backpack tightly on the bench, feeling his heart beating even faster.

“I hope you’re...fine with it.” Nines said. “If you don’t want to go anymore that’s fine, but I just didn’t want you to...you know, go there and maybe things are weird and you don’t know why, I don’t know.”

“I—well, I don’t—okay, it’s not...” Gavin shook his head, clearing his throat. “I’m definitely not used to people taking pictures of me.”

“And that’s fine—”

“—but I also don’t care.” Gavin said, shrugging. “If they...make you uncomfortable then we can do something else and that’s...okay with me.”

“No, I really want to go.”

“Then we’ll go, and that’s fine.” Gavin did a shy thumbs up. “It’s okay—thank you for telling me.”

Nines had to place his hand over his chest, just to make sure his heart was still in its place.

“It’s...fine.” Nines whispered, feeling even his ears burning. “Okay, then...”

“Ah—wait, wait.” Gavin raised his hand and reached for his phone. “How are you going to pick me up if you don’t have my address?”

“Ah, right, yeah.”

Nines walked up to him with his phone in hand.

“Would it be okay if I just...give you my number and then I send you the location?” Gavin asked.

“Yes.” Nines responded quickly. “Yeah—yup.”

“Alright.”

After exchanging numbers, the two looked up to meet their eyes one last time.

“Good luck on your trip.” Gavin said. “I hope your ex is not...doesn’t ruin it for you.”

“He probably will, but it’s fine.” Nines said, shrugging weakly. “I might need to escape the studio for a while just to recharge.”

“We can play if you want.” Gavin quickly offered. “To help you clear your head.”

“Oh—yeah! I’ll take your word for it.”

“Perfect—nice, nice...”

Nines started to step back slowly to grab his backpack.

“Okay, then...” Nines mumbled, holding the door handle. “You—I’ll—text me your address.”

“Will do.” Gavin let out, as Nines started to slowly push the door open. “I’ll send it right now so I don’t forget.”

“That’s—yeah, I would forget too.”

“Yeah.”

Nines was practically a foot out of the laundromat, and yet he couldn’t look away.

“Goodnight.” Gavin said, almost in a whisper.

Not knowing why, Nines was betrayed by a shy chuckle.

“Goodnight, Gavin.”

Not knowing how, Gavin was still breathing.

“Oh, what the fuck, what the hell.” Gavin stood up from his stool and rushed to the bathroom, practically trying to drown himself with water.

Every night felt like an alternative universe where nothing made sense, and he wasn’t the person he thought he was. Gavin didn’t know where he got the guts to ask Nines to play together with him, and he didn’t know what even happened to Nines for him to invite him to hang out. His words were repeating over and over in his head, with Tina’s words echoing in his ears too. It felt like a massive prank being played on him, Gavin didn’t know if people were this cruel or if he was just too much of an idiot to believe what was happening. He wanted to believe Nines had pity on him and invited him to hang out because he felt bad, but if he remembered the conversation he realized it was Nines who started talking about how he wanted to go with someone in the first place. Gavin was rubbing his face with water like he was trying to wake up, but at last when he looked at his reflection in the mirror, he saw himself and no one else.

The burning heat on his face and his tender red cheeks were all real.

“What is going on?”

As usual, Nines was wondering the same thing.

“How did I do fucking do that?” He said. “And then I told him what I did for work—I did, I did it!”

“That’s...great...Nines...”

Contrary to Gavin, Nines had to call someone to verify this was, in fact, real.

“And he—honestly, he was a bit shocked but he was so sweet, telling me that if I was uncomfortable we could do something else and then he was telling me that he wanted to treat me to something because he never got to go out and I was like ‘no, I want to do it’, and he got so red, like you had to see it, his cheeks were all—all over the place, and I’m pretty sure I was being embarrassing too, and he—”

“—Nines, go home and go to sleep, I need to pick you up in four hours.”

“And he gave me his number.”

“Goodnight, Romeo.”

Clay hung up the phone, and Nines only squealed even louder.

“I fucking did it.” Nines sang out, as he drove to his house. “Oh but, ‘maybe he’ll think it’s weird I show up on Monday’, baby, shut up! I knew I had to—I knew it.”

That night time really seemed to have stretched out for the two of them, as every time they re-lived their conversation in their heads, every minute seemed to slow down just so they could feel it again.

Chapter Text

A whole documentary could have easily been filmed about that week.

A series of unforeseen events happened one after the other, and the audience present was so taken aback they were speechless. Afraid of saying anything in case they ruined the momentum, the two special guests simply sat back and watched history unfold before their eyes. Having front seats for the event, they watched with interested eyes and a proud smile on their lips that every ‘act’ was even better than the last. Beyond what they could’ve imagined, the special guests followed the play carefully to try and predict what would happen, only to be shocked by the many plot twists. Because the truth was, no matter how invested they were in the story unfolding in front of them, they had never seen something like this before. Or more accurately, they thought it would happen differently. Judging by the personalities of the characters involved, they would have expected a long, slow, and perhaps complicated friendship to form between them. A bond challenged by their social skills and own personal difficulties.

The special guests, Tina and Clay, however, quickly realized how wrong they actually were.

The documentary started on Tuesday. On the second day of the week, right after Nines had revealed his career, and Gavin had somehow asked for his number—very casual, normal things happened and were brought up in conversation in a very casual and normal way. Tina, for example, remembered the afternoon vividly in her mind. It all started after seeing Gavin tremendously hypnotized by his phone, hardly looking anywhere else. It was almost as if he was testing his speed at grabbing his phone as soon as class ended; he would snatch it from his hoodie pocket and make himself as small as he could in his seat. Tina noticed it the moment they got to class, and she was curious all day. She didn’t pry; she waited until they were off classes, and she guided a blind Gavin to the cafeteria to grab something to eat before bringing it up. Even Gavin’s one option dialogue was lacking that day, though it wasn’t like he wasn’t listening to her; he simply mumbled his responses a little too low.

Tina knew he was listening, though; she only had to test it once:

“So, are you and your weird friend together now or what?”

Gavin’s one-hundred-yard stare was enough to prove it.

“What?” He whispered, ready to call a lawyer apparently.

“I’m guessing you finally asked him to play with you and he said yes.” Tina said, elegantly holding her hands together on the table. “That, or that maybe you asked him to marry you, I still can’t tell.”

“What are you talking about?” Gavin chuckled nervously, trying not to look away from his screen.

Trying to look at his phone and up at Tina simultaneously, Gavin was attempting to rewire his system to make it work.

“Did he say yes?” Tina asked, with a subtle grin on her lips.

“No—I mean, yeah—yeah like, the play thing.” Gavin stuttered, typing something viciously on his phone. “Sorry—anyway, what were you—you were telling me about your roommate.”

“Neighbor, but fuck that.” Tina dismissed it with her hand, realizing Gavin had turned off his phone and put it in his pocket. “So, what’s the deal?”

“What’s the deal with what?” Gavin’s cheeks were very red, so much so Tina could somehow feel her face heating up too. “Tell me about your neighbor stealing your clothes—I want to know how it ends.”

“I blew up her house and kidnapped her cat.” Tina said, nodding exaggeratedly. “So, is this your ‘friend’ or what is it?”

“Was that a confession?” Gavin asked, miserably trying to change the subject. “We’re surrounded by detectives.”

“Damn right you are, and I’m interrogating you!” Tina hit the table with a weak thud, making Gavin flinch with a shy giggle. “Now it’s the time to tell me the truth.”

“Is that going to help me in court?”

“That’ll help you.” Tina hummed in a high pitch. “When we hide something...it hurts us...that weight in your chest that you feel...” She reached her hand closer to him. “Do you feel that?”

Gavin tried not to chuckle, but tiny sounds were escaping his pursed lips.

“That, Gavin...” Tina whispered. “That’s gay.”

“I’m not—it’s not like that though.” Gavin giggled, shaking his head slowly. “We’re just playing a lot because he’s on a trip...like, he just got to a place he doesn’t want to be so I’m distracting him.”

“Wow, first day being together and he’s already using you.”

“Ti—na.” Gavin rolled his eyes, unable to stop smiling as he rubbed his face weakly with his hand. “No, he was just honest with me about how bad things were there...he’s on a work trip with his ex, and he’s not happy about it at all. So, I’m just...being a good friend.”

“Oh, look at that.” Tina leaned back in her seat, a bit too proudly. “You finally used the word ‘friend’.”

“Well—now it makes sense.” Gavin defended himself, nodding at his own words. “He—you were the one who told me...”

“Who told you what?” Tina frowned, tilting her head slightly.

“The whole... ‘oh, you’re gonna know if he’s your friend if he...’, you know...”

It took Tina a second to remember her words in the endless gabble she had done yesterday, but when she finally did her jaw dropped and she once again slammed her hands on the table, grabbing – to Gavin’s demise, people’s attention to them.

“He asked you on a date.” Tina let out, nodding with excitement.

“N—o, no, no, it’s not a date-date, it’s a hang-out thing.” Gavin quickly clarified, shaking his head emphatically. “We’re just going to an arcade—we’re playing games, and eating pizza or something.”

“Or something?” Tina raised a brow. “Like...each other?”

Instead of defending himself, the first thing that came to Gavin’s mind was,

“When did I say I was a gay?!”

Tina raised her brow even higher.

“I feel like...” Gavin narrowed his eyes slowly. “...is this a hate crime?”

“This is evident, dumbass.”

“So, it is a hate crime.”

“Shut up! I asked you a while ago.” Tina said, shocking Gavin, whose brows shot up instantly. “Very subtly though, and you said yes.”

“Goddamn—what am I even doing?” Gavin mumbled, shaking his head with disappointment. “One of these days I’m going to sign a loan without me realizing.”

“You kind of promised half your estate to me already but we’ll sort things out another time.”

“I don’t have an estate.”

“So.” Tina wiggled her brows teasingly. “Who’s your new friend?”

“It’s my—my friend.” Gavin stuttered out. “He’s my...friend, yeah.”

“Okay, so, I’m kind of asking for a name...” Tina mumbled, nodding. “You know...that’s what people usually say...”

“I don’t want to tell you his name, you’re a—weirdo.” Gavin giggled nervously. “You’re gonna check if he has a criminal record.”

“First off, you have to accept that all your friends are weirdos.” Tina stated, matter of fact. “Second, yes, so give me first and last name.”

“Nope.” Gavin shrugged. “No can do.”

“Alright, how old is he?”

“Twenty-two too!” Gavin responded. “He looks young though, I feel like I don’t look twenty-two standing by his side.”

“Oh, he’s got a baby face.” Tina smiled, and Gavin hummed quietly. “Nice, he’s got siblings?”

“Nope, only child.” Gavin said. “He has younger sibling energy though...or I don’t know, maybe middle child? He’s expressive but also kind of sassy and reserved, but he’s an only child.”

“That’s sweet, like you!” Tina pointed out, and Gavin nodded with a smile. “So, if he works in the morning then he’s not studying, right?”

“No, he does study, he’s like in courses and he takes classes every weekend, like he does homework all week and then submits and stuff...he’s on an artsy thingy right now.”

“Oh—nice, nice.” Tina leaned forward slightly. “Working and studying though, that’s tough...no wonder you two got along, you know what’s up.”

“I mean—not really, his job and mine are nothing alike.” Gavin shook his head. “He’s definitely under a different type of pressure than me—and I feel like I got a bit more free time...like he can play during his breaks and that’s like...we play one match and then he’s gone and then he’s back, you know?”

“But he texts you in-between, right?”

“Yeah, he texts me.” Gavin almost sang out. “He was telling me about how he’s always eating weird vegan food he doesn’t like and his hotel has a lot of it.”

“Oh, poor thing.” Tina chuckled. “I mean, maybe he can sneak some treats at work, right?”

“Not really, he’s super supervised about all that stuff...” Gavin admitted. “And like, he has to hide his phone to text me, they have him super focused and on the clock. We played a lot in the morning when he got to his hotel though, he was waiting to start working and he was having breakfast in his room...so he had time.”

“You were in class though!”

“Yeah—but I was paying attention.” Gavin said. “Kind of, we were talking about how there’s cameras in the rooms sometimes, so I was doing research on how to find them.”

“With lasers, right?”

“Something like that, we kind of ran out of time before he was called for work and when he came back, he was telling me about how awkward it was because of his ex.” Gavin continued. “The guy sucks, he doesn’t want to tell me about their relationship yet but he did say they broke up on really bad terms and seeing him every day for almost a week would be too much.” He sighed quietly. “I honestly feel bad for him. I can’t imagine how it would be working like that with my ex—let alone with someone I hated and couldn’t just get away from, I would crash out.”

“Is he doing okay though?”

“He is! He was telling me they’re all grabbing lunch somewhere near a lake and it’s pretty and he sent me a picture actually.” Gavin said, fighting the urge to check his phone. “It was really pretty, and the food looked nice so I told him to steal normal fries while he could.” He giggled shyly. “He deserves some fries...”

Just like that, Tina had finished her interrogation.

“Okay so you’re either dating a criminal or a celebrity, right?”

Gavin regretted not asking for a lawyer when he thought about it.

“What—why, what?” His guilty chuckles were a bit too loud, even for him. “Why?”

“Dude that barely has time to do anything and does laundry at two a.m., schedule super busy but he’s in an ‘artsy’ program of some sort, goes on a working trip on a random Tuesday to a nice hotel that has room service, good menu that has vegan options...can’t have a treat at work because he’s ‘super supervised’ about what he eats, to the point where he has to ‘steal’ fries. That, and the fact that he’s a weirdo with a ‘baby face’, it’s like the classic combination of a rich person with a unique personality.”

Tina rested her case, and her hands on the table.

“So.” She smiled. “He’s like a model, right?”

Gavin surged to his feet and Tina wheezed, standing up immediately too.

“Wait—wait, Gavin.” Tina followed him hurriedly out of the cafeteria, snatching her backpack from the floor under the table. “Hold on!”

Gavin basically escaped the cafeteria and Tina had to catch the swinging door from hitting her in the face.

“Hold it!” Tina chuckled, sprinting behind him as they reached the corner of the building, near some outside benches. “Wait, did I get it right?”

When Gavin stopped in his steps, the look on his eyes wiped the smile off Tina’s lips.

“I’m...sorry.” Tina whispered, at the absolute dreadful expression on his face. “Wait, what’s going on, Gavin?”

“I just don’t...” Gavin looked over his shoulder, as if to make sure no one else was listening. “I don’t know...”

Tina held him by his shoulder and gently walked him further away into the open grass, getting some distance from the benches.

“You don’t know what?” Tina asked gently.

Gavin let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his temples weakly.

“I feel so stupid.” He confessed.

“No—wait, Gavin, I’m really sorry.” Tina whispered softly, rubbing his arms comfortingly. “I didn’t mean to be invasive; I took it too far.”

The clear hesitation on Gavin’s face made Tina shrink even more. She knew she talked a lot, and more often than not that was a good thing instead of a bad thing. However, Gavin wasn’t like her, and he couldn’t just put his thoughts into words as easily, especially not after being cornered like this. Tina took a slight step back, giving him space in hopes to make him feel a bit more comfortable. Yet, Gavin sighed, looking down to his own feet for long seconds of silence. Neither of them said anything, but it was clear both had a lot to say. Tina didn’t want to keep apologizing, confident that would only make Gavin even more cornered – as if she was forcing him to forgive her or keep talking about a topic he clearly didn’t know how to talk about. So, believing she knew what to do, Tina was already practicing her goodbye before she heard Gavin say,

“Can we go somewhere else to talk about it?”

She consciously controlled her facial expression to hide her surprise, though she managed to smile gently and say a quick,

“Yeah.”

Without making eye contact, Gavin turned around and took Tina off campus, walking together towards the bus stop. For a moment Tina thought they would take the bus together, that maybe Gavin wanted to take her to his workplace to discuss this, but he didn’t take it that far. They walked together near the bus stop and simply leaned on the wall nearby, a bit far away from the empty bench. Tina held her own hands softly, glancing at Gavin expectantly. She could hear him inhaling and exhaling slowly, trying to not make too much noise, but it was impossible for her to not notice. Somehow, seeing Gavin this nervous only made her feel more nervous too, as if she was the one about to reveal a big secret. Gavin’s eyes were simply so expressive it was easy to feel what he was feeling, and soon Tina could feel her own heart beating so goddamn fast.

Until finally, after a silence charged with dread and anticipation, Tina heard Gavin quietly whisper,

“Can you promise me you won’t tell anyone?”

Tina didn’t notice when she slid closer to him on the wall.

“I promise.” She whispered just as quietly, even making Gavin lean in to listen clearly.

It took another moment of silence for Gavin to continue.

“Okay.” He said with a heavy breath. “Okay, I just don’t know how to do this.”

“It’s...okay...” Tina mumbled, softening her voice even more. “If you don’t want me to make a big deal out of it, I won’t.”

“Yeah—I—I think that’s it.” Gavin confessed, looking up to the sky. “I feel like if you freak out then I’m going to freak out and like I have so much on my mind I don’t think I can like hide it or something, it’s like—there’s so much in my head right now.” He rambled, leaving himself out of breath. “I feel like I can’t talk about this with anyone.”

“No—yeah, I...understand.” Tina said, nodding slowly. “I won’t make it a big deal, I promise.”

As Gavin met her gaze, Tina tensed the muscles on her face, trying to keep her best poker face.

“Okay.” He mumbled. “Okay.”

“Okay...” Tina mouthed back.

At this point, Tina was half convinced Gavin was dating a serial killer.

“Do you know who Nines Morris is?”

Somehow, the truth felt a bit more surreal.

“Yes.” She responded calmly. “I follow him on Instagram.”

Despite Gavin not elaborating any further, him lifting his brows was enough of a follow up.

“I see...yeah.” Tina only nodded gently. “Didn’t know he was a...gamer.”

“Yup.” Gavin mumbled. “Yes, he is.”

“Right, that’s cool...cool.”

Tina had never felt every hair on her eyebrows before.

“Tina.” Gavin whispered.

“Yeah?”

“I feel like a fraud.”

“Huh?”

She turned to meet his eyes, but she found Gavin staring off into the floor instead.

“Why?” She asked.

“He doesn’t...” Gavin whispered, pursing his lips slightly. “He just—he doesn’t know that I...”

Tina tilted her head slowly, nodding as if she knew what Gavin was trying to say.

“Right.” She mumbled. “He doesn’t know you know him.”

“Yeah.”

Maybe having the ‘serial-killer talk’ might have been easier than this, Tina thought.

“I mean...well...” Tina swayed her head left and right. “Do you think you need to tell him?”

“I don’t know.” Gavin confessed. “I tried asking my mom but I got scared and I just didn’t.”

“Well—okay.” Tina cleared her throat, grabbing Gavin’s attention. “Okay—first of all, why is that important though?”

“Because.” Gavin whispered, rubbing his face with his hand. “I don’t know, I just feel like I’m hiding something from him and he’s been so honest and open with me since we started texting.”

“How long have you guys been texting?”

“Since yesterday.”

Tina held in a giggle, understanding this wasn’t the time.

“I just don’t want him to feel like I’m being weird about it.” Gavin continued. “I’ve been honest with him about everything else in my life so far, I just didn’t...like, how do you go about that, you know? I was scared he was going to think I’m a weirdo trying to...I don’t know—I’m not trying to do anything—”

“Gavin—hold on, hold on...” Tina tsked her tongue softly. “Okay, listen, I’m definitely not the type of person who associates with...people like him, but I am a person who associates with a lot of people in general and I tend to make people uncomfortable easily...”

“Yeah.” Gavin agreed without thinking.

“Right.” Tina held in another chuckle. “I’m saying that if he feels comfortable with you is because you’re not being weird.”

“But I’m hiding a lot from him.” Gavin confessed. “Like, back in my depressive episode I used to fall asleep watching his interviews.”

“Okay—but you wouldn’t say that to anyone in general.” Tina let out. “And—what exactly are you hiding from him? That you think he’s hot—he knows that.”

“I don’t see him like that though.” Gavin mumbled. “That’s exactly what I don’t want him to think about me—that I’m his friend because I have like—I don’t know, freaky intentions, I just want to play Pokémon and shit.”

“Then why are you so worried?”

“Because he was my—my crush, you know?” Gavin stuttered, feeling his cheeks heating up instantly. “And then we started talking and he was really nice and he kind of liked me too but like as a friend and I was very happy but I also like just want to be his friend because he’s a really good friend and I don’t—”

“—Gavin, slow down, slow down...” Tina breathed out calmly, inviting Gavin to take a deep breath. “Listen, I get it, you’re a very transparent person.”

“Oh my god, don’t tell me that—that’s awful.” Gavin said in horror. “What if he knows this already?”

“No—I mean, okay.” Tina raised her hand, interrupting him. “I’m saying that he probably knows you think he’s pretty—and between you and me, he obviously knows you think he’s pretty, who the fuck wouldn’t? The guy is hot.”

“I know...” Gavin breathed out, his voice dying out slowly.

“But that’s not the reason why you want to be his friend, right?” Tina asked, and Gavin shook his head. “Why do you want to be his friend?”

“Because he’s like me.” Gavin admitted. “I feel a bit less weird around him, it’s like we’re both weird so it’s balanced, and we liked the same games too...and he’s so nice, Tina, you really don’t understand how nice he is, he’s just a genuinely good guy and he’s funny too and he thinks I’m funny—like we have a very similar humor and I laugh a lot—and I hate how I sound when I laugh but he’s just so funny.”

Before she knew it, Tina was smiling just as wide as him.

“I feel like we can be really good friends.” Gavin confessed. “And I don’t want to ruin that.”

“You don’t have to.” Tina said. “And—honestly, I feel like when you’re a public figure like that people can be weird about you a lot, so I’m sure he appreciates having someone to be weird with.”

Gavin narrowed his eyes slightly.

“He’s not...” He mumbled. “He’s not that weird.”

“Right, see?” Tina raised her brows with a smile. “You see him like that, and I’m sure that’s what he wants.”

This time, it was Gavin who couldn’t hold in a shy chuckle.

“He’s really not that weird...” Gavin whispered, looking down to his feet. “He’s also so fucking good at Pokémon it kinda pisses me off.”

“It sounds like you two have very good chemistry together.” Tina admitted, seeing the red on Gavin’s cheeks getting more intense. “Listen—he knows this side of you, and you know this side of him, I feel like that’s fair.”

“What do you mean ‘this side’?” Gavin frowned, turning to her.

“Well, did he introduce himself as ‘model Nines’, or what did he say?” Tina asked.

“No, he didn’t...” Gavin responded. “He told me about what he did for work when he asked me out to go to an arcade.”

Tina felt her heart skip a beat for some reason, sort of wishing she could get excited for Gavin.

“He actually was very secretive about it, like he never said anything about it.” Gavin said. “So, I thought he didn’t want to talk about it.”

“See?” Tina shrugged. “If he waited to share that with you it’s because he wanted you to know him outside of that, and you did, I think that’s fair.” She nodded. “He doesn’t need to know your every thought before you two knew each other, and who cares, you know? You’re allowed to have parasocial crushes, I’m sure he has his own too.”

“The difference is that he can actually meet his parasocial crushes.” Gavin chuckled quietly. “He can date literal models, that’s crazy.”

“And you’re going on a date with one too, you know? It’s not that crazy.”

Gavin physically recoiled at those words, shaking his head quickly.

“It’s not a date.” Gavin felt the urgency to clarify. “We’re going as friends.”

“Okay, still.” Tina emphasized. “I feel like you’re treating him like a...person, and that’s fine, I feel like it would be weird if you were treating him like a person but like...with hidden intentions, and you’re literally saying you just want to play Pokémon with the guy.”

“And Halo.” Gavin added without thinking. “He also...we’re playing Halo tomorrow, I think.”

“Fun.”

“Yup.”

“I don’t feel like you have something to worry about.” Tina responded honestly. “It would be weird if you were asking him invasive shit or using him to gain fame or something, that’s freaky.” She hummed. “But you were scared of telling me about him and you looked like you wanted to throw up.”

“I—what?” Gavin stuttered.

“I thought you were seriously dating a criminal or something.” Tina admitted. “That was a lot of tension for nothing.”

“It is something.”

“No—I mean, yes, it is something, but it’s nothing bad.” Tina corrected. “I thought you were befriending some drug dealer or something, I was ready to have a hard conversation with you.”

“I’m literally studying to become a detective, what are you talking about?”

“Lots of people here want to abuse the law, Gavin.”

“Oh my god—who do you think I am?”

“I’m kidding!” Tina chuckled, making Gavin laugh shyly. “Again, you have nothing to worry about. You just...keep doing what you do right now, you know? You have a new friend, you two have fun together...playing games...texting...it’s nothing out of this world.” She said. “You’re treating him like a person, he’s treating you like a person, you’re having a normal interaction, Gavin, it’s not a crime to be friends with someone you think is hot.”

“I mean—yeah, yeah.” Gavin looked away to bear with his own embarrassment. “I really didn’t think this would...you know—like, every time he came we would talk a little but like—I wasn’t trying to like, I wasn’t trying to do anything—can you imagine me flirting? I can’t even participate in class without stuttering, if I tried to flirt I would kill myself.”

“Okay.” Tina sighed a thin giggle. “How about we leave it at ‘you weren’t trying to flirt’.”

“I can’t flirt; I’m a fucking dumbass.” Gavin said emphatically. “Also—me? Flirting with a guy like him? Who do I think I am, you know?” He chuckled, sighing quietly. “I was just happy having casual conversations with him, he seemed like a funny guy—and he is, super awkward too—like me, you know? I knew we would get along but I was also just feeling like this, so weird, about that whole thing...”

“I feel like you being so conscious of your past ‘feelings’ is enough proof that you don’t want to hurt him.” Tina said. “But like—I feel like you’re being too hard on yourself, you should just be happy that you’re friends with him and that’s it, why does it have to be a bad thing? Sure, you knew him from before—or more like, you have heard about him, but you didn’t know him, and now you do, and I’m pretty sure your view of him changed a lot from the guy you saw online versus the guy he really is.”

Gavin snapped his fingers at her, as if she had managed to pull out his thoughts from his head and put them into words.

“Yes.” Was all Gavin managed to say.

“You’re not doing anything bad, Gavin.” Tina reassured. “When I said you’re transparent I meant that you’re not a bad guy, you don’t have bad intentions. Like I said—you’re someone I feel wouldn’t judge me.”

“Why would I judge you?” Gavin frowned with confusion. “I remember you saying that but I also didn’t know...you know, why...”

“Well, I talk a lot.” Tina said. “I talk out of my elbows sometimes.”

“I just think you’re just happy.” Gavin shrugged. “I don’t know, I don’t think it’s a bad thing—if you talked bad about people then yeah, I would probably judge you, but you just talk about your life and classes...and your weird aunt.”

“I have a strange family.” Tina said. “See what I told you? You attract weird people.”

“I don’t do anything.” Gavin whispered shyly. “I’m just there and people just talk to me.”

“Did he talk to you first?”

“I mean.” Gavin pursed his lips weakly. “I guess?”

“And I think I get it, you know?” Tina nodded. “I’m pretty sure he thought the same thing I did, that you wouldn’t judge him.”

Finally, the expression on Gavin’s face softened up incredibly.

“You’re fine.” Tina reassured, squeezing Gavin’s shoulder. “It’s good that you’re conscious about it, but I also think that if he’s the one talking to you, asking you to hang out, etcetera, it’s because he feels comfortable with you, and he wouldn’t feel comfortable if you were being weird about it.” She nodded. “I imagine he’s got experience with people being weird with him before, like—in the position he’s in? I don’t think this is his first rodeo.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so either...” Gavin admitted, glancing over Tina’s shoulder to see the bus driving towards them.

“Don’t think too hard about it.” Tina said, hearing the bus getting closer. “People aren’t genuine with you because you’re forcing them or something, we just feel comfortable around you.”

“Thank you...” Gavin mumbled shyly, feeling his cheeks getting warmer again. “Okay then...”

The bus started to slow down at the stop.

“I have to go to work...”

“Sure.” Tina smiled, tilting her head at the bus. “Good luck at work! See you tomorrow.”

“See you...”

Gavin grabbed his backpack to rummage for his wallet as he hopped on the bus. Tina waved goodbye at him from a distance, watching him sit near the window and wave goodbye shyly back. She giggled quietly, starting to walk back to the campus. She could hear the bus driving away; the engine was loud enough for her to know it was already out of sight. After a couple of minutes, Tina stopped in her steps and looked back, making sure the bus and Gavin were nowhere to be seen. Then, a heavy breath escaped her lungs, feeling as if they had emptied entirely right then and there. She snatched her phone from her pocket and without thinking looked up Nines Morris on her Instagram, as if she wanted to make sure she had the right guy in mind. Sure enough, as she clicked on his profile, she went to see his stories and – lo and behold, there they were; pictures of a lake, a vegan food plate, and even pictures of the venue they were working at. She turned off her screen as if to process what she had seen, repeating the conversation she just had with Gavin in her head.

Until finally, a conclusion settled in; Gavin Reed might be the most interesting guy she knew.

“Who is this guy?”

Somewhere far away from the city, Clay Anderson wondered the exact same thing.

“Oh—my god, Nines, would you leave your phone alone for a second?”

“One moment.” Nines whispered, with his eyes fixed on his screen. “Almost done...”

From the moment he picked up Nines yesterday, he had hardly looked up from his phone at all.

“Nines.” Clay insisted.

“Done—done!” Nines let out, putting his phone back in his pocket. “Ready, chief.”

“Don’t call me that.” Clay sighed a weak chuckle, holding the door handle of his dressing room. “Come on, last take of the day.”

“I don’t want to...” Nines mumbled, glancing down to his pocket. “What if we tell them I’m constipated?”

“They saw you eat, they know how much you ate.” Clay responded, only to see Nines grab his phone to reply to a text. “Nines.”

“I felt it buzz—it was a reflex.”

“Then put it on silent.” Clay instructed, seeing Nines frown weakly at him – trying not to pout. “I’ll take that phone, I swear.”

“No—sorry, okay.” Nines raised his hand in-between them, keeping his eyes on his screen as he finished typing his message. “I’m telling him I’ll be busy—just give me a second.”

“Jesus Christ.” Clay rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t help but smile weakly. “If he’s giving you a hard time for not texting back then that’s toxic.”

“Shut up.” Nines chuckled, finally sending his text. “He actually asked me if he’s interrupting me a lot.”

“So, you’re the one interrupting yourself.”

“Yes.”

“Give me the phone, Nines.”

“No—see, look.” Nines raised the phone and showed Clay as he put it on silent. “There we go. No buzz, no text, full focus.”

“Good.” Clay nodded as Nines placed the phone back in his pocket. “Tomorrow we start filming the music video and I feel like that’ll be easier.”

“Why?” Nines asked, frowning. “I’ll be with Bryan the whole day, at least now we’re kind of separated.”

“Because it’s quicker.” Clay said. “You’re filming at five and ending at one p.m., you’ll have the rest of the day free.”

Clay saw the moment light ignited in Nines’ eyes – fireworks might have been fired.

“The rest of the day, really?”

“Were you paying attention during the meeting?”

“I was lowkey more focused on not sweating too much.” Nines admitted. “And the producer had something in his teeth the entire time, I couldn’t stop looking at it.”

“I know, that was so embarrassing.” Clay chuckled quietly, making Nines grin. “Anyway, yes, you’ll have the rest of the day free, so you’ll have all the time in the world to play with Kevin.”

“I swear to god if you call him Kevin again...” Nines rolled his eyes with annoyance, making Clay laugh even louder. “You’re just trying to piss me off.”

“It’s endearing.” Clay confessed. “I can’t help it.”

Nines tried to roll his eyes again, though giddy giggles betrayed him.

“Alright, whatever.” Nines dismissed it with his hand. “Let’s get this over with, we’re playing Halo at night.”

“Is that why you brought your lap top?”

“Obviously.” Nines hummed. “What did you think?”

“I thought you were going to work on your homework or something!” Clay said, as Nines reached for the door handle himself. “I haven’t even checked your grades! How are you doing?”

“Very good, how are you?” Nines asked as he opened the door. “Ah—break is over, see you later.”

“What do you mean break is over—Nines, come back!”

Seeing a tall guy like Nines jog down the hallway made Clay chuckle behind his hand.

It might be something about the good mood Nines was in, Clay felt unable to stay mad at him for anything. Clay had been worried the entire week about this project, thinking the worst about collaborating with Bryan – imagining a million scenarios that could compromise Nines’ well-being, even coming up with lies to get Nines out of situations. But things had gone better than he thought, since the moment he picked up Nines from his house. Despite him being sleepy, Nines looked radiant, barely getting any sleep in his car since he chose to play with Gavin instead. Clay wanted to ask more questions about this Gavin guy, but he wanted to show Nines he trusted him. After their conversation, Clay started to wonder if maybe he was also the reason why Nines couldn’t make friends. Maybe he had made him super paranoid, and Nines’ trust issues were Clay’s instead. So, he told himself he would let Nines do this on his own, judge Gavin by himself, and build whatever relationship he wanted with him. Because despite what Nines said, Clay had a feeling that things were a bit...different between them.

At least, he could read Nines so clearly.

“Mister Morris! Please come this way...”

“Yes, sir.”

Clay had only seen that smile on rare occasions, and this was one of them.

“Anderson.” He heard, glancing to his side to greet George with a nod. “They said to meet at the entrance at five, didn’t they?”

“No, we should be there at four-thirty a.m.” Clay responded. “We should be at the beach at five.”

“Right, you’re right.” George said, staring at Bryan in the distance – talking with the photographer. “Do you think this will be the last one?”

“It will be.” Clay nodded. “This was the last outfit for today.”

“Super uncomfortable fabric.” George mumbled, leaning slightly closer to not be heard. “Bryan has been complaining all day about their tank tops.”

“Nines hasn’t told me anything about it.” Clay said.

“That’s very like Nines.” George said. “Never complaining about anything.”

Even though it hadn’t been a bad comment, Clay couldn’t help but frown weakly, glancing with a lifted brow at him.

“He complains about the important things.” Clay felt the need to say. “Mostly about scheduling conflicts or bad practice.”

George mustered a weak smile, shrugging to himself.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him with an attitude.” George said. “He’s always polite, quiet. Kind of feels like he’s aloof.”

Clay was trying his hardest to read George’s tone, but since he refused to make eye contact with him it was...difficult.

“I think he’s not surprised about things at this point of his career.” Clay said. “Given his experience, he knows how things work and chooses not to waste his energy on that at this point.”

“I guess it’s just his face then.” George said. “Sometimes it feels like he’ll explode at some point.”

Clay glanced at him, only to find George already staring back.

“Are you worried about that?” Clay asked.

“Why would I be worried?” George asked back.

“I guess your interest made me think you were.” Clay admitted. “Didn’t mean to misinterpret.”

“I mean, it’s hard not to be worried about them.” George said. “They’re so young and already do a lot of things. I imagine taking care of Nines since he was little has made you two incredibly close.”

Clay hummed quietly, choosing to tilt his body toward George to face him properly.

“I’m guessing the same way you and Bryan are, right?”

George chuckled weakly, nodding.

“Clearly.” George said. “I’m definitely worried about him a lot.”

It took Clay those brief seconds of eye contact to understand George’s strange tone.

“I don’t think you should be.” Clay said. “As long as Bryan remains professional and polite, then he’ll be just fine in this industry.”

Clay let his words sink in with his silence.

“Excuse me a moment.” Clay mumbled, turning around to walk closer to where Nines was.

By the time he made eye contact with Nines, he realized he had been watching their interaction the whole time.

“Ah.” Clay sighed quietly to himself. “Unfortunate.”

If Nines wasn’t so pale, then his ghostly looking face would’ve been more obvious.

It wasn’t a secret between the models and their respective managers – the history between Nines and Bryan was still relevant even to this day. While the public didn’t know the real reason why they broke up, they suspected it. Nines had never told anyone anywhere about their break up, and he limited himself to say the break up was ‘mutual’ and that things were okay. However, since the two stopped working together, people were quick to assume things weren’t as good as they said they were. The speculation was intense, and rumors about them cheating on each other spread like wildfire. It didn’t help that Bryan, unlike Nines, had said a lot of things about their relationship everywhere. Often referring to Nines as ‘someone he wasn’t that compatible with’. Clay had advised Nines to stay quiet all throughout that period of time, and thanks to that, rumors died down. Clay knew that if Nines gave Bryan the attention he was seeking, he would probably end up in a bad position, and it would only make Bryan more relevant. So, Nines stayed quiet not because he thought it was fair, but because he wouldn’t give him more attention.

And now here they were, working together once again.

Clay wasn’t thrilled, he knew Nines also wasn’t happy about it, but they were making it work by ignoring the fact that Bryan was here. Besides, Bryan had done a lot after their relationship, he had made a name for himself even if he had used Nines in the beginning. Clay thought, however, that with this new collaboration Bryan was feeling a bit...nervous about possible interviews. Maybe he was nervous that Nines would say something about their relationship when asked if they were together – they had already accepted that they would be asked that. Bryan knew what he would say, but he didn’t know what Nines was going to say. Clay thought it was absurd, even insulting that George felt the need to come ‘test the waters’ and see how Nines was feeling, after they had been the ‘bigger person’ all throughout that period of time. They remained quiet, they were professional, and they didn’t let personal business mix in with their work. It didn’t make sense that Bryan was worried now.

Unless he was planning to do something.

“Goddammit...” Clay rolled his eyes at himself. “Maybe I am the reason why you’re paranoid...”

Clay had managed to stress himself out.

Hours passed, and even though Clay couldn’t regain his composure, things were okay from then on. George didn’t try to talk to him anymore, and before he knew it, the day had finally come to an end. Clay took Nines to his dressing room to wait for him until he got changed to drive him to his hotel room, and while the crew invited them over to dinner, Clay declined the offer, politely saying Nines needed to rest for tomorrow, since he would have to wake up so early. Bryan and George did attend the dinner though, which only gave Clay more reasons to decline. Nines didn’t even find out they were invited, he came out of the shower and got changed in blissful ignorance, happily walking to Clay’s car for a night of Halo with Gavin. Of course Clay got to hear all about it, not understanding any of it, but being happy for him nonetheless. It was rare to see Nines so cheerful at the end of the day, it even gave Clay some energy to finish the day on a good note too.

He hoped for the rest of the week to be the same.

“I think I’m going to buy him this horror game...” Nines said, with his eyes on the screen as he texted Gavin. “He says he hates horror games though—that’s so cute.”

Clay raised a brow weakly, glancing at Nines through the front-rear-mirror.

“Isn’t he going to be a detective?” Clay asked. “I thought he was brave.”

“He says he doesn’t like jumps scares.” Nines responded, nodding in agreement. “Honestly, I hate them too, they’re always too loud.”

“Then why do you want to play a horror game?” Clay asked with a chuckle.

“Because it’s interesting! Fun.” Nines said. “He’s free at midday—what am I doing tomorrow at midday?”

“Filming a music video.”

“And—wait, what time am I free?”

“After one p.m.”

“Fuck—are you serious?” Nines whined quietly. “Okay—wait, let me see if he can...”

Clay found it amusing that Nines was somehow involving him in his planning...even if it was just by asking questions.

“Oh—yeah, he’s free! He’s free on Friday too—what am I doing on Friday?”

“Meeting up with Julia Murphy and having lunch with her.”

“Wait, that’s it?” Nines asked, and Clay nodded. “Oh my god, yes—what time am I free?”

“After three p.m.”

“Sick—fuck yeah.”

“Language.”

“Frick yeah.”

Clay only heard Nines typing even faster, making him chuckle.

“Try not to sleep too late.” Clay said, as he entered the underground parking lot of the hotel. “Remember you’ll be waking up at four.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Okay then.” Clay parked, turning to Nines. “Goodnight, Nines.”

“Goodnight...” Nines mumbled, still typing on his phone.

Like an angry dad, Clay snatched the phone from Nines’ hands and lifted his finger at his face admonishingly.

“Hey.” Nines let out nervously.

“I’m talking to you.” Clay said. “At least look at me when I’m saying goodnight to you.”

“Wait—what?” Nines turned to the window, realizing where they were. “Holy fuck.”

“Yeah, ‘holy fuck’ is about right.” Clay shook his head in disapproval. “I’ll take you to your bedroom, come on.”

“I’m...sorry.” Nines mumbled shyly, as Clay exited the car.

Nines got out as well, keeping his eyes down on the floor. By the time Clay looked at him again, he found those sad puppy eyes staring back.

“Quit making that face.” Clay held in a chuckle. “Come on.” He handed him his phone, and Nines put it back into his pocket. “You need to be alert, alright? Pay attention.”

“I know—I’m sorry.” Nines apologized as they walked together to an elevator. “I got...you know I get carried away.”

“That’s fine, just try looking at me when I’m talking to you.” Clay said as he pressed the button. “Especially when we’re at any hotel, you know we need to stay alert.”

The elevator doors opened, and they got in together.

“I know.” Nines mumbled. “Honestly, I would have preferred we rented an Air Bnb or something.”

“We didn’t pay for it.” Clay said. “I’m sorry, I’ll decline it next time.”

“No, it’s fine.” Nines admitted. “There’s a lot of security here, so it’s good.”

“I’ll still take you to your bedroom every night.” Clay reassured. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not, I’m not...”

After a few minutes, they reached the fifth floor – where Nines’ bedroom was.

“I’m...sorry for before.” Nines mumbled shyly, following Clay closely. “I was really disrespectful; I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s fine.” Clay said gently. “I’m sorry for taking your phone.”

“No, that’s okay, I kind of deserved it.” Nines admitted. “He was just telling me about what other games we could play and I got excited.”

“I’m happy that you’re excited.” Clay confessed, as they reached Nines’ door. “He seems like a very nice guy.”

“He is.” Nines emphasized, nodding at his own words. “Very sweet too, he asked me if I wasn’t too tired to play and I was like ‘are you kidding me, I’ve been waiting for this the whole day’.”

Clay couldn’t help but smile, just as softly as Nines was.

“Don’t be too loud, okay? People are trying to sleep.” Clay said, and Nines hummed, saluting him. “Stop it.”

“I’ll go to bed at midnight.”

“No, you won’t.”

“No, but I’ll go to bed at some point, you can count on that!” Nines said as he pulled out his keycard from his pocket, pressing it against the sensor of the door. “Goodnight!”

“Goodnight, Nines.”

The little tornado of energy walked inside his room, and as Clay walked back to the elevator, he managed to hear him chirp,

“Hi, Gavin!”

The excitement in his voice was contagious, making Clay scoff under his breath.

“I’m going to have to wake him up.” Clay said to himself. “Clearly.”

That night, everyone staying on the fifth floor kept hearing giggles past one a.m.

**

Wednesday was supposed to be something completely different, but nothing went according to plan.

That morning as Clay woke up, he remembered hearing a soothing sound outside. Like someone humming a song close to him, he couldn’t open his eyes despite his alarm going off. He even tried to guess which song it was, if it was a guitar or a piano playing...until his brain started working, and he came back to his senses. The moment Clay realized what that soothing sound really was he sat up sharply on the bed and turned to the window of his hotel room. He practically launched himself out of the bed and ran to the curtains, pulling them open to see the terrible song playing outside. Raindrops were practically slamming against the glass; strong wind was basically folding the window like thin foil. Clay felt stress hitting him from his lower back to his neck, letting out a heavy sigh to try and exude some of it out of himself. The itinerary changing was never good news, and more often than not that would ruin the entire week. He was already anticipating what changes they would have to make, as they needed to film outside no matter what.

With all the fear in the world, Clay walked to his night table to pick up his phone.

“Christ.” He mumbled under his breath as he saw five missed calls from the producer.

He cleared his throat, giving himself courage to call the producer back and expect what shenanigans he would suggest. Filming somewhere else was an option if the sky was good, but a cloudy, rainy sky would absolutely ruin the entire ‘summer’ vibe they were going for. Besides, they were going to film in the morning precisely because of the morning sun, and one little peek outside was enough to know the sun was gone. He figured the lunch with Julia Murphy would be cancelled tomorrow and they would film instead, but he wasn’t even sure if the weather would cooperate then. No matter what, Clay couldn’t let Nines stay any more days – he was booked for the next week already, and those contracts were just as good. Clay looked up to the ceiling, nodding slowly as if to let the idea settle in – ready to embrace whatever happened and be smart about it. He sighed again, dialing the producer’s numbers and waiting a couple of seconds before he picked up.

“Good morning, Clay!” He heard the producer, in the most cheerful voice he could muster. “I’m sorry for calling you so early...”

“Good morning, don’t worry about it.” Clay said, clearing his throat. “We woke up to an... inconvenience, I see.”

“Yeah, that’s why I was trying to contact you!” The producer laughed. “We’ll have to cancel today and try again tomorrow—Julia will be there too though, so I guess we’re all gonna be a little bit more stressed—hah!”

Clay grimaced in disgust, furrowing his nose and shaking his head in silence.

“We’ll see each other tomorrow then!”

“Very well, thank you!”

As the call ended, Clay slowly lowered his phone to his side.

“That’s not good.” He mumbled. “She’s never good.”

Without wasting more time, Clay went to take a shower and get ready to inform Nines of the recent changes. He was practicing what he would say to him and explain in the best way he could that Julia Murphy shouldn’t make him feel threatened, and that if she suggested something he wasn’t comfortable doing he didn’t need to comply. What worried Clay the most was Julia’s clear interest in Nines and Bryan as a couple, and he disliked the idea that she would suggest they were a bit more physical with each other than they already were going to be. The music video would tell the story of a summer love that was intense and fun, they were supposed to hold hands at the beach, lay down together in the sand, and even ‘party’ with other extras. Clay made sure there wouldn’t be any kisses or any other inappropriate touching. The problem with Julia Murphy was that her ‘suggestions’ never felt like casual comments but clear orders about what she wanted, and despite Clay making Nines’ boundaries clear, it would be Nines himself who would feel compelled to comply.

Clay had perfected his script already as he knocked on Nines’ door.

“Nines?” He asked, waiting a couple of seconds to hear a response. “Nines?”

After two minutes, Clay knew exactly why Nines wasn’t responding.

“Goddammit.” He grabbed his phone again and called his number, hearing it ring inside the room.

A startled gasp echoed on the other side of the door, and in-between almost cartoonish crashing noises, Clay heard footsteps approaching him.

“Good—what time is it? Oh my god.” Nines barely managed to pull the door open before he was sprinting to the bathroom. “Give me a minute—I’ll shower and—”

“It was cancelled, Nines.” Clay said as he closed the door on his way in.

Nines stopped abruptly in his steps in the corner of the hallway, with his towel in hand, and a horrified look on his face.

“What time is it?” Nines breathed out. “Are you kidding me—what did I do—”

“No, it’s not because of you.” Clay scoffed, seeing as life came back into Nines’ face, sighing in relief. “It’s raining, can’t you hear it?”

Nines frowned, slow blinking almost eye by eye to process what he was hearing.

“Oh.” When it finally clicked, his entire body relaxed. “Oh—I see...”

It took him two seconds to toss the towel on the floor and drop face down on the mattress.

“Wait—Nines, hold on.” Clay hurried to his side, sitting on the bed. “Wake up for a moment.”

Nines loudly snored, shaking his head aggressively against the sheets.

“Nines.” Clay said admonishingly, forcing Nines to tilt his head and acknowledge him with a glance. “Good—alright, listen.”

“What...?”

“Depending on tomorrow’s weather we’ll be shooting the music video, so the lunch with Julia Murphy is most likely cancelled...”

“...good news then.”

“But she’ll be present during the filming, so she’ll most likely give suggestions during it.”

The two hours of sleep suddenly didn’t matter, as Nines felt a rush of energy make him sit up on the bed. Clay leaned away ever so slightly to give him some space, nodding as if to confirm Nines’ thoughts before he even said anything.

“Are you sure?” Nines asked, his voice dropping in pitch.

“I am sure, the producer just told me.” Clay said, making Nines squeeze his eyes shut in defeat. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“You’re kidding me.” Nines mumbled, shaking his head slowly, staring down at the floor. “I’m so gonna have to kiss this fucking loser.”

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” Clay was quick to say, placing his hand gently on Nines’ shoulder. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Clay...” Nines sighed quietly. “I get what you’re telling me, but you and I know that whatever she says is not up for discussion. It’s a ‘do or else’ type of situation, and I’m not going to fight the Julia Murphy. She knew what she was doing that time too, asking me silly little questions to get me to agree to record this.”

“Right, but during the contract I settled your boundaries and said what you would and wouldn’t do, kissing is in there.” Clay said firmly. “If you don’t want to do it you are allowed to say ‘That's outside the boundaries of my contract’, and they’re obligated to respect that.”

“Right.” Nines nodded lazily. “You and I know that’s not going to happen.”

“But it has to happen if you want something to change.” Clay reiterated. “You’ll be probably working on more videos from now on, and you have to be direct about what you want or don’t want. They read the same contract I did, they know what your boundaries are.”

“Julia wipes her ass with our contracts, this is useless.” Nines let out, dropping on the bed again. “Thanks for the talk but I need to sleep.”

Clay pressed his lips tightly together, looking away at the door.

“I’ll be there.” Clay said. “I’ll do my job and tell them off for you.”

“Please, don’t.” Nines mumbled against the sheets. “You’re just going to make things awkward and difficult with Julia, it’s the last thing we need.”

“I said what I said.” Clay mumbled, standing up from the bed. “Have some rest, if you want to have lunch together, call me.”

“Clay...” Nines whispered, tilting his head to try and meet his gaze, only to see Clay already walking out of the room.

Without letting him say more, Clay simply closed the door on his way out.

“Goddammit.” Nines sighed, rolling over on his back. “Why is he playing like that? We know how things are around here.”

He stared off into the ceiling, feeling his head aching by the little light coming from the bathroom. He didn’t even notice he had turned on the light when he tried to take a shower, making Nines whine loudly before standing up to turn it off. He slid off the bed lazily and practically slapped the switch, rolling his eyes back to the bed. As he turned around, however, his phone resting on his night table grabbed his attention. Even though he was absolutely drained and tired, a weak smile spread on his lips. Nines walked up to it and grabbed his phone, turning it on and scoffing under his breath when he saw the missed texts on his screen. Like a princess, Nines graciously laid down on the bed and raised his feet, almost kicking them like a school girl. He read the texts with his head swaying left and right, giggling at every message like they were the funniest jokes ever told by human kind. In reality though, Gavin was simply highlighting the best moments of last night, complaining about how Nines must have cheated while they played Halo, and demanding a rematch.

“Sore loser.”

Despite the storm dropping the temperature, Nines could feel his head warming up.

“...how do you cheat a no-scope little guy...” He whispered out loud, typing his text.

Yet before he sent it, a loud clap of thunder struck near his hotel, causing the lights to flicker. Nines gripped his phone tightly in his hand out of reflex, looking away at the window to see the mess happening outside. He slid off the bed without thinking, curious to see where the lightning had struck. The windows had vibrated; Nines was confident the lightning had lit up the entire city for a moment. However, as he tried to see anything through the completely wet window, he started hearing...something else. Nines blinked, stepping back from the window as he tried to make out exactly what that noise was. Yet, when he realized what it was, he couldn’t help but frown at himself, a bit creeped out even. It wasn’t the wind, or someone talking near his room, that was definitely...Gavin’s voice. Nines shivered in disgust, wondering if he was truly so tired that he was hallucinating at this point.

Until, of course, Nines looked back at his phone.

“Oh—shit.” Nines let out in a panic, pressing his phone against his ear. “I’m—fucking sorry, I didn’t—I didn’t mean to call you.”

“Hello?” Gavin chuckled on the other side of the line, making Nines laugh too.

Nines rubbed his eyes with his fingers, and slid the curtain closed to try and muffle some of the storm.

“I’m so sorry, lightning just hit and rattled the shit out of my room and I...I don’t even know how I called you.” Nines admitted, sitting on the bed. “Sorry—are you in class?”

“It’s five a.m.”

“...so, you’re not?”

“Classes start at eight!” Gavin giggled, making Nines blush in embarrassment. “I was sleeping, actually.”

“Fuck—I’m sorry, I’m sorry...” Nines mumbled shyly. “I’ll let you go, sorry—you need to sleep.”

“No, it’s fine...” Gavin said, as Nines heard the distinctive sound of sheets moving. “How are you doing? Are you on your way to the beach?”

“No, it’s raining outside.” Nines responded. “It got cancelled; we’ll be filming it tomorrow.”

“Oh—I mean, that’s good?” Gavin said hesitantly. “Do you have the day off then?”

“I guess...yeah, in a way.” Nines nodded. “But it’s not good honestly, tomorrow this big...designer, the boss of all of this I guess you can say, will be here during the recording, and I’m nervous as hell.”

“Why?” Gavin asked. “Are they...mean or something?”

“She’s just very...I don’t know, bossy.” Nines chuckled weakly. “I mean, sure she is, right? She’s literally the boss...”

“I mean—yeah, but I guess you’re saying she’s kind of...naggy, or like, bossy in a bad way, right?” Gavin asked, and Nines hummed quietly. “That sucks.”

“Yup—it does...” Nines mumbled. “But it’s fine, Clay told me he’ll be watching over me but I’m like—I also just accepted it, you know? Because I know what she does to like get away with stuff, she like manipulates you into accepting shit you don’t wanna do but you don’t really have a choice or like a say in it and stuff...”

“That sounds fucking awful.”

As always, Gavin’s honesty was Nines’ relief.

“It is fucking awful.” Nines admitted. “I just know I’ll be kissing my ex and shit.”

A brief pause made Nines frown, even looking at his phone to make sure the call was still going.

“That sounds borderline...abusive...” Gavin mumbled. “Or not—sorry, I don’t really know...”

“No, it’s fine.” Nines dismissed it with a shrug. “It’s definitely not ideal and I’m not happy about it, but you know. It’s work, and even Clay was trying to tell me that I can decline if I want to—because it’s like in the contract and stuff, but, between you and me...that’s just impossible if Julia is here. You just don’t feel like you can say no.”

“That—Nines, this is horrible.”

“Yeah—so, do you think we can like play the entire day tomorrow after work so I don’t kill myself?”

“I mean—yeah, I guess? But are you sure you don’t want to like, I don’t know, can’t you just bail?”

Nines couldn’t help but snort at those words.

“That’s...no...” Nines shook his head. “That’ll be neat though, just ditch and go, but I can’t.”

“Oh god.” Gavin sounded horrified – a bit more than Nines was. “I’m so sorry.”

It felt strange though, after playing together the whole night and doing nothing but laughing, hearing Gavin like this felt strangely familiar and comforting.

“It’s fine.” Nines mumbled shyly. “You should go to sleep, really, I’ll be sleeping in too.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll do that...” Gavin hummed lazily. “But—but, I was also...thinking...”

“Yeah?”

Nines laid down slowly, tilting his body to his side and resting his phone over his ear.

“If you want to like, call me tomorrow so I can...you know, get you out of shit, you can also do that.” Gavin offered. “If you don’t want to talk to them, I’ll pick up the phone and like—tomorrow is Thursday so I start classes at ten, I’ll have time very early in the morning too...so you know...”

“Yup—yeah, thank you.” Nines smiled, feeling his cheeks lifting his phone ever so slightly. “We’ll see, don’t worry. Clay will be there too.”

“That’s good—yeah...but the offer still stands.”

“Nice, thank you.”

Nines tapped on the sheets with his finger.

“I kinda just want to go back.” Nines admitted. “It feels like time is going super slow for some reason.”

“It’s the middle of the week already though...” Gavin whispered.

 “Yeah, but...I don’t know.” Nines sighed under his breath. “I guess I’m a little more excited over the arcade than this, honestly. Seeing Bryan every day is a nightmare, and this whole thing with Julia is just stressing me out. I can’t even enjoy the pretty places we go to.”

“I’m sorry...” Gavin said apologetically. “We can play today again if you want to.”

“I mean...” Nines started to scoff. “You said you wanted a rematch.”

“Damn right I want one, loser.”

“Oh—you’re the sore loser, little guy.”

“Stop bragging about being tall—God, corny shit.”

“Is it bragging or so much as simply stating a fact?”

When Nines heard Gavin giggle, even if still a little tired, he couldn’t help but chuckle too.

“Anyway...” Nines mumbled. “Alright then—goodnight, go to sleep, go to sleep...”

“Yup—will do, goodnight.”

“Night, night.”

Nines reached for his phone to end the call, and he softly rested his screen on the sheets.

“Night...” Nines whispered. “It’s morning though...”

It was still too early for there to be noise outside in the hallway.

“Hah—little guy.”

The only noise was Nines’ giggles once more.

**

In this documentary, Tina would argue Wednesday and Thursday were the most...tense days of the week.

Wednesday, for example, felt like a rollercoaster. She sat by Gavin’s side during class but this time he didn’t check his phone as much as he did yesterday. At first, she didn’t think much about it, she simply assumed Gavin was paying attention to class properly and had left his phone to the side for now. However, by the end of the day, as they were studying and eating in the cafeteria, she noticed just how badly Gavin was biting on his lips, clearly anxious about something. She debated how to bring it up, since she wasn’t sure what was causing Gavin’s bad state. She waited for a while, hoping Gavin would bring it up by himself, but it was to no avail. Tina rambled about her crazy aunt again until she couldn’t ignore Gavin’s preoccupied expression anymore, and without thinking, she grabbed her backpack and shoved her books inside before standing up abruptly. Gavin blinked, looking up to her in confusion – wondering if he had done something wrong today. However, when Tina tilted her head to the door, Gavin simply followed her mindlessly, grabbing his backpack as they walked away.

On their way to the bus stop, Tina finally addressed the elephant in the room.

“Gavin, you look like shit, what’s going on?”

Gavin, on the other hand, thought that instead of an elephant it was a whole plane crashed in the room.

“Is it that bad?” Gavin mumbled, and Tina nodded. “Fuck.”

“I take it you didn’t sleep at all, but you look anxious.” Tina said. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

“Everything is...okay with me.” Gavin responded. “Yeah, it’s not about me, really.”

“Ah, I see.” Tina hummed. “So, it’s about...him, right?”

“Yeah.”

They reached the bus stop and went back to their usual wall, leaning on it to talk – apparently choosing it as their safe space.

“It’s just, he told me something in the morning that just left me thinking.” Gavin confessed. “But I’m not...really sure if I can talk about it.”

“I mean, dude.” Tina raised her brows at him. “At this point, I’m pretty sure I’m the only person who knows about...him, right?”

“Well—yeah...but it’s not like, it’s just about his job, you know? It’s not about him-him.” Gavin clarified, nodding nervously. “I don’t want to get him in trouble.”

“You don’t have to worry about that with me.” Tina said. “I promise I’m not telling anyone anything—I promised you that already.”

“I know—I’m just...nervous.” Gavin admitted. “But I also feel like I should do something—but I know I can’t do anything, it just feels awful.”

“I understand...” Tina hummed gently, rubbing Gavin’s shoulder softly. “What happened? It’s making you really...anxious.”

“It’s just gross to think about, if I’m honest.” Gavin responded sincerely. “So...do you remember I told you about...that he’s working with his ex, right?”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“So...” Gavin interlaced his fingers anxiously. “He told me that...tomorrow—they have to film something and he’s going to work with him, but there’s this lady that...she’s like the boss of the whole thing, and he says that she’ll probably make him kiss his ex and stuff.”

“Oh.” Tina nodded. “That’s...awkward.”

“The thing is though, it’s in his contract, you know? Like he said he won’t do that type of stuff...and he says that contracts don’t matter with that lady because she’s like, she’s manipulative and stuff...and it just feels so gross, like invasive—I told him it even sounded abusive.”

“I mean...” Tina sighed weakly. “No, yeah, I can see what you’re saying.”

“He hasn’t told me a lot about his ex, but—I told you, right? That they broke up on very bad, bad terms.” Gavin nodded. “He sounded very hurt; I have a feeling this guy did something to him and everything. The idea of him having to cross his boundaries and do all of that feels violating, and I hate it.”

“It’s definitely not fair.” Tina admitted. “But I think he knows that’s just...how things are in his industry. I mean, if I’m completely honest with you, I know a lot of dark secrets about the modelling industry, they don’t really treat them with a lot of respect. I’ve heard more about women than men, honestly, but it wouldn’t surprise if it was the same for them.”

“I have heard rumors too, but I don’t want to think about them.” Gavin said. “And I don’t even know what to say—like, I really don’t...I’ve never been in a situation like this before—never, but I told him he could call me to distract himself during all of it and he said that was fine—and we’re playing together today again, but it doesn’t really feel like that’s enough.”

“I’m sure it’s helping more than you think.” Tina pointed out. “The fact that he knows how things will go down when that lady arrives says a lot about him, he’s got experience in this...maybe he’ll actually put a stop to it, who knows?”

“I hope his manager helps him out.” Gavin sighed. “He should. That’s his job.”

“Definitely, yeah.” Tina nodded. “Is that...what you’ve been thinking about today?”

“It’s just been gnawing at me the whole day.” Gavin confessed. “He sounded so upset, but he’s like...he never really shows it a lot, like he jokes a lot when he feels upset, so I could just tell he was really not happy about it.”

Tina scoffed softly, making Gavin frown weakly.

“What?” He asked.

“I just think it’s sweet you can read him like that and you barely know each other.” Tina said, turning Gavin’s cheeks into a loud red. “It’s sweet.”

“It’s just—we’re very alike, and I do that too.” Gavin admitted. “I joke a lot when I feel uncomfortable or hurt, I don’t like to show...that I’m like, I just feel vulnerable and exposed.”

“I get it.” Tina nodded. “Sarcasm as coping mechanism, my best friend.”

“Seriously...”

Finally, Tina heard Gavin sigh heavily, letting all the stress out of his system.

“How do you feel?” Tina asked.

“I’m still worried about him.” Gavin confessed. “But I guess it feels...better telling someone about it, you know?”

“You need to start trusting me with that.” Tina said. “You already ripped the band aid off, don’t try to stick it back on.”

“I just don’t know if I can say it.” Gavin nodded at his own words. “I have a feeling like I’m doing something wrong and I’m getting him in trouble or something.”

“I get that too.” Tina hummed. “But it’s...me, you know, Gavin? I really won’t tell anyone—who would I even tell? You’re my only friend here.”

Gavin blinked, tilting his head at her to meet her gaze.

“What?” Tina frowned weakly.

“Nothing.” Gavin shook his head slowly, looking down to the floor – pursing his lips slightly without realizing. “Thank you...”

“It’s fine.” Tina chuckled softly. “It’ll be fine, you need to trust that he knows better—I mean, all those years of experience have definitely taught him a thing or two.”

“Yeah, I think so too...” Gavin nodded. “You’re right—I need to...I shouldn’t infantilize him.”

“No, you’re not doing that...I think it’s perfectly reasonable for you to be worried about something like that, especially if he already expressed that he’s worried about it too.” Tina reassured. “But! Always keep in mind that he’s not alone there, he’s got his manager, and he’s got himself. And you to get him out of uncomfortable situations.”

“Yeah, yeah...” Gavin was exhaling in relief. “You’re right.”

Tina smiled, patting Gavin’s shoulder gently.

“You should’ve told me about this in the morning.” Tina admonished.

“I’m sorry...” Gavin mumbled. “I’ll keep it mind tomorrow—if I have like...something to say.”

“You better!” Tina giggled. “Is that why you haven’t been checking your phone a lot? Talking to him makes you nervous?”

“No—no, he hasn’t replied to my texts.” Gavin said. “But it’s fine, he said he would sleep in, we barely got any sleep.”

“Ah—I see.” Tina hummed. “Yeah, I thought it was weird you weren’t checking your texts a lot today.”

“No, everything is okay.” Gavin reassured. “He’s definitely just sleeping—I was also overthinking that too, but, you’re right, I need to have a bit more faith in him.”

“Good, good.” Tina nodded, doing a thumbs up. “No catastrophic thinking.”

“No catastrophic thinking.” Gavin repeated, nodding confidently. “Everything will be fine.”

“Yes, it will.”

Little did Gavin know that as his trust in Nines increased, Nines’ trust in himself decreased...alarmingly fast.

“Nines, I checked twice—I promise he’s not at the buffet.”

“I’m going to throw up if I see him there.”

In a very similar manner, Nines and Clay were also leaning on the wall on the corner of the buffet.

“He’s not—I swear he’s not.” Clay insisted, trying to grab Nines by his wrist. “Come on—the trays are almost empty; you’re not going to get anything you like.”

“That’s fine—we can go to MacDonalds.” Nines whispered.

“There’s a thunderstorm outside—I’m not going anywhere with my car, I’ll crash.” Clay said, raising his brows emphatically. “Come on, follow me, don’t look anywhere else—if they come here, we can just tell them that you’re not feeling good.”

“Because I’m not feeling good.” Nines let out. “I said I want to throw up.”

Clay took a deep breath, looking up into the ceiling to try and evaluate his options. Sometimes trying to convince Nines to do things felt like trying to convince a cat to take a shower. He could see his puffy fur and nervous eyes staring at him pleadingly, begging him not to torture him. But it was getting late, and Clay was already too hungry to be gentle or merciful. He understood today felt different and Nines was overthinking himself to death, but he hadn’t seen Bryan or George at all the entire day, assuming they were probably locked in their rooms having some rest. Clay was trying to come up with something to soothe Nines’ anxiety, and ironically it was his own rumbling stomach what gave him the idea. As Clay pressed his hand on his belly, he felt his phone tucked in his grey blazer pocket. His brows shot up, and he tilted his head at Nines with a serious expression on his face. Determined to make his plan work.

“Call Gavin.” Clay said, making Nines frown intensely. “Just do it.”

“Why?” Nines whispered. “What is he—he can’t come in here, he’s got work.”

“No—no, I meant, stay with him on call until we get to our table.” Clay explained, as Nines went ‘oh’ quietly. “Come on, I’m starving—a phone call keeps everyone away.”

Even though Nines didn’t dislike the idea, he blushed incredibly hard as he grabbed his phone from his pocket.

“What do I even say to him?” Nines mumbled, with Gavin’s contact ready on his screen.

“How about...” Clay snatched his phone from his hand, making Nines flinch. “Hi.”

Without thinking, Clay pressed on the call button and handed it over quickly to Nines.

“Alright—here we go.” Clay didn’t even wait for Gavin to pick up to rush inside the buffet room.

Nines could feel every hair on his body raising up when the line finally connected.

“Hi—hi.” Nines said, moving awkwardly towards the buffet. “Hey.”

“Hi!” Gavin said cheerfully, too visibly happy to hear from him. “Did you just wake up?”

“No...not really.” Nines mumbled, looking around the buffet room to see some tables occupied. “We’re just...grabbing lunch...at the buffet.”

“Oh, nice, I love buffets.” Gavin commented. “I think one time I ate so much apple pie that I threw up, I remember my mom telling me that’s why she never took me to buffets until I was fourteen.”

Clay heard victory in the form of a quiet giggle, turning around to see Nines leaning closer to his phone to listen better.

“Did you throw up at the buffet though?” Nines asked. “Are you sure it wasn’t the buffet adding you to the black list?”

“No! it was in my mom’s car.” Gavin responded. “And no, the buffet didn’t know—I mean they found out because my mom told them, and the lady who owned it was my mom’s friend too...she made apple pie for my birthday that year, I always thought she was making fun of me though—but you know, free apple pie...wouldn’t complain about it...”

“She was totally making fun of you.”

“I fucking knew it.”

Clay had never had such peaceful time with Nines in a public setting, as he didn’t hear him complain or whine at all through the whole lunch.

While Clay had to ask Nines to finish the call just so he could eat properly and be present with him at the table, he still got to hear all about their conversation and their plans for today. It was...in a way, impressive. Clay didn’t know how to even describe this Gavin guy, as he felt like an exact copy of Nines. Furthermore, he was shocked at the many things they could talk about for the whole ten minutes while Nines was choosing what to eat. It was also one of the few times where Nines talked so much in public with Clay at the table, as he eagerly told him about Gavin’s anecdotes and even shared his own love for apple pie. It felt refreshing in a way, Clay had been mortified by the idea of Nines hating his stay in the hotel, but he looked fairly excited for tomorrow...because of the plans he had with Gavin, clearly. After lunch, Clay took him to his room and they even hung out for a while, watching news about the weather expected tomorrow. Clay didn’t stay for that long though, even though Nines was fully present in their conversation, he also wanted him to keep up the good energy to be in a good mood for tomorrow. So, he said goodbye and left Nines to play with Gavin again, though this time he was more severe in his insistence of him going to sleep early.

“Should I tell Gavin that, instead?” Clay asked. “Should I tell him to hang up on you at ten?”

“No—stop, that’ll be so embarrassing.” Nines shook his head with horrified eyes. “I’ll hang up at midnight, I swear.”

“I’ll be knocking on your door at four.” Clay said. “You need to get ready with time.”

“I will—promise, promise.”

Clay picked up his blazer from the bed, having taken it off to be more comfortable as they watched the news. Nines followed him with his gaze as he walked to the door. Clay waved goodbye as he opened it, and Nines did a peace sign in response.

“If you don’t wake up on time tomorrow, I’ll seriously tell Gavin to hang up on you.”

“Stop! Trust me, alright?”

Clay shrugged before closing the door on his way.

“Nothing an alarm won’t fix.” Nines mumbled, setting his alarm right then and there. “Responsible adult, with responsibilities...and alarms...”

As the grown man finished setting his alarm, he jumped to the desk in the corner of his room to set up his laptop, hopping into the already initiated call.

“He—llo.” The responsible adult sang out, connecting his headphones to his phone. “Hi.”

“Hi!” Gavin, of course, was already waiting for him. “Wait, you need to see this—I bought a little something for my profile picture.”

“Oh, let me see!”

The two grown men squealed with excitement at an animated racoon sleeping over Gavin’s profile picture.

“Shut up, that’s so cool.” Nines giggled, lifting one leg on his chair. “I need to buy something too—where did you get it?”

“It’s on sale!”

Whether or not the responsibilities were thrown out of the window was up for discussion, since Nines did hang up at midnight...but continued texting Gavin until two a.m.

**

And then, Thursday arrived.

For the camera men of this documentary – Tina and Clay, they remembered that day as the tensest of the entire week, and quite frankly, the worst. Tina could see Gavin was extremely nervous the entire morning, constantly checking his phone and replying to texts like his life depended on it. She made a mental note to ask on the first free hour they had, but until then, she was forced to watch Gavin wither away with anxiety as each minute passed. At this point, Tina had followed their story so much she knew what Nines was up to today. A bit surreal, since she couldn’t fully believe it yet, but she knew that Nines was recording the music video with his ex that day. At least, Gavin’s face screamed that something horrible was going on with Nines, and part of Tina could guess exactly what it was. By the time their last class before break ended, Tina followed Gavin closely to a distant bench in the garden, ready to start her interrogation as usual.

She had accepted that Gavin wouldn’t start conversations first.

“Is he doing okay?” Tina decided to be direct, and she wasn’t surprised to have nailed the topic right from the start.

“No...” Gavin mumbled, staring at his phone resting on the table with the screen on. “The lady I told you about is there already.”

“And?” Tina asked promptly.

“It’s just what he suspected.” Gavin admitted. “She hasn’t asked them to kiss yet but he says that’s where its going and he knows it.”

“What about his manager?” Tina asked. “Can’t he do something about it?”

“That’s what I’ve been telling him but he kind of ignores the question...” Gavin said. “He just vents and then replies to one of my texts but never that one.”

“Then it’s probably a no...” Tina said, and Gavin nodded slowly. “How long is the recording going to last?”

“It’s supposed to be ending at one p.m.” Gavin said. “Supposedly...but with that lady there who knows.”

“Right...” Tina twisted her lips weakly. “How are things though? What is he telling you?”

“They made them cuddle on the beach and then made his ex straddle his lap and everything.” Gavin looked away, shrinking his shoulders slightly. “It’s kind of gross—he told me he felt sick and everything, because he had to touch him and stuff.”

“Touch him how?” Tina leaned back slightly.

“Not super inappropriately, just...his legs.” Gavin said, and Tina nodded. “It just sucks; he doesn’t want to be there.”

“He’s got three hours left.” Tina said. “Let’s hope it goes by fast.”

“I hope so...” Gavin mumbled sincerely. “I told him that he can call me if he needs it, but he says he can’t for now. He’s probably gonna call me on his way to the hotel or something.”

“Did you guys play last night?”

“Yeah, we talked a lot.” Gavin said. “But he didn’t want to talk about today—and I did ask, but he just said ‘its whatever’, and stuff like that, so I didn’t want to press, you know? We kind of were talking about whatever too, childhood anecdotes, some series we like...all that.”

“He definitely needed that.” Tina nodded confidently. “Just to exist for a moment without like, thinking about work.”

“Yeah...I guess.” Gavin said, staring at his phone. “I don’t think it helped though.”

“It did—I’m sure it did.” Tina tried to comfort him. “It’s just hard for him to feel good when his ex is right there...did you talk about him at all?”

“No, he’s really avoiding the whole talk about him.” Gavin admitted. “I also asked once and he dodged it like a bullet, I think he just said ‘he sucks, period’, and that was it, so I was like, ‘alright...’, and didn’t ask anymore.”

“I think you should ask more questions.” Tina suggested, nodding at her words. “He kind of feels like the type of person who wouldn’t open up about what hurt him on his own, like you need to give him a little push.”

“I don’t know—I suck at that type of stuff.” Gavin sighed. “I’m not good with like...reassurance, or just helping people navigate stuff, I’m better at rationalizing things—about other people, like I understand why he doesn’t want to talk about certain stuff, and I understand why he prefers to just have fun with me and talk about us, and part of me also thinks that...we probably don’t know each other enough for him to feel comfortable around me...and bring up the most important topics, you know?”

“To me it kind of sounds like you two are way too close already.” Tina admitted, raising a brow. “You’ve been pointing things out about him that makes it sound like you two have known each other for a lifetime.”

“We’re just very similar that’s all...” Gavin mumbled. “It’s not like that.”

“Alright, well.” Tina raised her hands weakly. “If you two are pretty similar, how about you tell me what you would like in this situation.”

“What do you mean?” Gavin frowned.

“If you were in Nines’ shoes and you were having a hard time because of this, would you like that your friends asked you a bunch of questions about how you feel to help you process it? Or what do you think?”

“First of all, I’m too ugly to be a model.” Gavin pointed out, raising one finger. “Second, if somehow I was in a situation like this, I would never be professional enough to keep a good face with some guy I hated. It’s very obvious when I’m uncomfortable or I don’t like someone, you can’t miss it.”

“Maybe literal scenarios aren’t your thing.” Tina mumbled, narrowing her eyes slightly in surprise. “You just answered it literally.”

“I mean—well you asked me what I would do, and I’m not Nines.” Gavin said, matter of fact. “He’s fucking impressive putting himself in situations like that when he’s so anxious like me, I would collapse if I had a bunch of people staring at me while I’m with my ex, who I fucking hated.”

“Listen, I’ll tell you what I would do as your friend.” Tina interrupted him. “You, Gavin, are the type of person who wouldn’t bring up what worries you or hurts you first, you need someone else to do it for you, and then you pretty much just talk and talk...”

“I don’t talk a lot...” Gavin pursed his lips shyly.

“You do, when I hit the nail on the head you just go on and on, it’s hard to turn the switch off.” Tina said, nodding. “I have a feeling it’s the same thing with Nines.”

“So...should I ask him about his ex on call?” Gavin frowned. “Or...about his manager...?”

“I would probably suggest you assumed how he felt...because you already know how he feels, he’s said it already.” Tina said. “You can tell him it sucks that he has to feel this way while working, that it definitely feels violating, and that despite him being a professional it doesn’t mean that he’s not a person. He feels and he’s clearly not coping well with it, especially because it’s someone who hurt him before. I feel like if you say that, he’ll open up.”

“I think—I’m just...” Gavin sighed, looking up at the sky. “I’m afraid of not being good enough if he opens up. Like, hearing him out and then having nothing to say, not knowing how to help him navigate it. It makes me feel stupid.” He confessed. “I don’t even know how to put my own thoughts into words sometimes, when it comes to...emotions, I mean. I can rationalize a situation, I just can’t...emotionally...emotion...lize it...”

Tina twisted her lips slightly, swaying her head left and right as she gave it more thought.

“I think you’ll know what to do.” She said. “Considering you’re already here, and have made it this far.”

“What does that mean?” Gavin frowned, turning to see her.

“I mean, he clearly trusts you already.” Tina said. “I imagine that trust didn’t come out of nowhere. He must have felt understood by you, even if you say that ‘you don’t know how to do it’, clearly you did it right with him.”

“I still don’t know what I did.” Gavin let out. “Like, honestly, sometimes when we’re texting I just look at the ceiling and go, ‘how am I doing this?’, and just don’t know what to say to myself.”

“I’m saying, you don’t need to try that hard.” Tina said. “He feels at ease with you already, and you do too. When the time comes, you’ll feel confident in your words and you’ll just say it. I’m sure of that.”

Gavin rested his arms on the table, and leaned his chin on top of them.

“This is my mom’s fault.” Gavin mumbled. “Not letting me go to kindergarten and home schooling me.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“Just because my dad died, all excuses.”

“Alright, alright...”

Tina slid closer on the bench by Gavin’s side.

“It’s kind of cute, you know.” She admitted. “Seeing you this worried about him.”

“Well, yeah, it sucks that he’s feeling like this.” Gavin said. “He’s got a very nice...sweet personality, and thinking about people taking advantage of that makes me sick.”

Tina smiled softly, leaning her cheek on the table and tilting her head towards him, making eye contact.

“So, I guess that’s why you want to be a detective.” Tina mumbled. “Strong sense of justice.”

“I guess so.” Gavin whispered shyly. “I just can’t stand it; I’m kind of intolerant of...that.”

“Intolerant.” Tina giggled quietly. “Sweet.”

“Whatever.”

All of a sudden, the noise of a notification interrupted the silence.

“Is that him?” Tina asked, as both she and Gavin leaned back from the table. “So, it is.”

“Ah...yeah.” Gavin mumbled, reading the text in silence.

Somehow, it felt like the two of them had just received terrible news.

“Yeah.” Gavin whispered. “She just asked for the kiss, yeah.”

“Ah, man.” Tina shook her head slowly. “What did he say?”

“He’s talking with his manager right now.”

“He needs to say no.”

“I don’t know if it’s that easy.”

On the other side of the city, Clay was asking the exact same thing.

“It is that easy, you go and tell Julia you won’t because it’s outside the boundaries of your contract—the contract you already signed, and the whole reason why we’re here.” Clay insisted. “I already said no—and you said ‘hold on’—why did you say ‘hold on’?”

“I don’t know!” Nines whispered, trying not to be heard outside of his dressing room. “I just—I saw her face and I fucking panicked, and then I saw you and I panicked more—she’s going to fucking hate me after this, she won’t fucking hire me for shit.”

“Who cares?!” Clay breathed out exasperatedly. “You’re ‘Nines Morris’, I promise you’ll have a million other contracts to sign, this one isn’t the last one of your career.”

“But you know it was thanks to her that I got here in the first place.” Nines reiterated. “Every time she’d ask me to be on one of her runaways we would get double the calls, double everything—she knows that, I know that, I could—feel that when she looked at me, that face of—disappointment and just, like she was calling me ungrateful in front of everyone.”

“That’s not happening, Nines.” Clay said, shaking his head firmly. “I promise it’s not—it’s not, and I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen, I’ll make sure she reconsiders in the future.”

“My mom couldn’t make her reconsider—no one can.” Nines stuttered, starting to feel sweat on the back of his neck. “My—mom always said that saying no to her and big designers like that was like shooting myself in the foot and you know what—if I have to just kiss this stupid loser then I might as well cash it out. I might as well get some money from this.”

“You don’t need money like that.” Clay emphasized. “You’re not the kid you used to be, Nines, you’re a name—you’re not easily disposable.”

“Everyone is easily disposable in this industry.” Nines argued back. “My—previous stylist, Camila, she had one bad rumor amongst directors and she’s nowhere anymore. No one can afford to be disliked here, the whole reason why I’m casted with everyone is because we haven’t fucked with anyone important. We keep the peace, that’s what I’m going to do.”

“Do you think it’s—”

The two flinched at the sound of someone knocking on the door.

“Mister Morris, we’re ready in five.”

“Coming, thank you!”

Clay crossed his arms, and Nines rolled his eyes with a sigh.

“Listen, thank you.” Nines whispered, walking past Clay to the door. “But I know what I’m doing.”

“And I know what I’m doing too.” Clay said, his voice losing volume. “Protecting your integrity is also part of my job.”

“I’ll be fine.” Nines said, softening his voice. “I’ll be fine.”

As Nines held the door handle, he made a peace sign.

“Come on, I don’t take this long in the bathroom ever.”

Clay sighed under his breath, though he shrugged in defeat.

“After you...”

The thin line between professionalism and abuse of power was always blurry in this industry, and more often than not, both manager and model overlooked it constantly.

The truth was, Nines had gone through similar situations before, when he was underage. It was the main reason why Clay was so protective of him, as he knew these situations incredibly well, and he had promised himself to never put Nines through that ever again. Clearly, he couldn’t always do it right, and that felt horrible. Clay was forced to sit back while the music video continued, urging himself to not say a word anymore. He couldn’t stop following Nines with his gaze, trying to read his facial expressions all through the recording. The thing about Nines though, is that he had really been raised to be a performer, and the guy barely let it show when he was uncomfortable. It always felt the same way, like a pinch in his heart that made Clay feel like a failure. He knew what was going through Nines’ mind during it. He knew how he felt every time they had to do a retake of him and Bryan touching and acting like a couple in love.

Clay knew exactly what Nines was thinking when the kiss finally happened.

“Ah, perfect, so candid.” Julia said, who was standing by the camera man. “Look at that take, how pretty the sun looks right now.”

“Very romantic.”

“Indeed.”

The director cut the scene and approached Nines and Bryan, talking to them as he moved his hands exaggeratedly. It was a movement Clay had seen a thousand times before, he knew it meant more corrections, and obviously a retake.

“Can we get some sweat please? Bring the spray!”

Clay stood firmly in his spot, trying not to pace around and make Nines even more conscious of his own discomfort.

“There we go! Alright, take two, everyone, take two!”

The distinctive noise of people gasping and clapping weakly made Clay dig his nails inside his palm even harder.

“Mister Hyland please come this way...you’re covering his ear with your hand.”

“Sorry!”

Clay felt his eyes hurting by how hard he stopped them from rolling.

“Take three!”

Just like that, the slowest minutes of their lives went by.

It had only been three hours, and yet, Clay felt as if it had lasted the entire day. By the time the recording was over, the crew and Julia thanked Nines and Bryan for their collaboration, exchanging a few words before the inevitable happened – a mandatory lunch with Julia Murphy herself. Even though she offered it 'nicely’, it was pretty clear it wasn’t up for debate. Bryan and George walked together to his dressing room, even thanking Nines for his hard work and telling him they’ll see him at lunch soon. Clay and Nines reunited soon after, waving goodbye to the crew members who would stay to clean the set and work on some final takes of the beach. Nines was quiet during the walk to his dressing room, and considering they needed to join Julia soon, it wasn’t like he had time to talk about what happened or how he was feeling at all. He walked into his dressing room and went directly to his shower, not giving Clay time to ask anything at all.

Once he was ready, Nines basically walked past Clay directly to the door.

“Hey.” Clay said, stopping him in his steps. “If you want to, we can stay here for a little longer.”

Nines opened the door sharply.

“I don’t want that.”

Without meeting his gaze, Nines walked out of the room and left the door open for Clay.

“Ah, Jesus.” Clay mumbled, following him reluctantly towards the venue.

The car was already there waiting for them, which made the transition easier on Nines and Clay. They greeted Julia, George, Bryan, and the producers, talking with each other outside of the limousine. By the time Nines and Clay joined them, Julia’s chauffer opened the door for them and let them in one by one. Nines sat by Clay’s side, with the same enchanting smile as always, making small talk with the director who kept asking him about his taste in food and his favorite beaches he had been to. George and Bryan were more entertained by Julia, who asked them about the storm yesterday and vented about the unfortunate turn of events, though she seemed happy to be done with the recording. At some point during the ride, Clay stopped hearing words at all, and he was simply tuning out the noise around him. He kept glancing at Nines every time he responded to a question, but he had to admit he wasn’t even aware of what they were discussing anymore. When they finally arrived at the restaurant, it was clear that both Nines and him were on the exact same page.

Without them knowing, Gavin was also on that page too.

“Is he not answering?” Tina asked, as he shook his head in silence. She tsked her tongue with frustration, sighing quietly. “Maybe he’s...busy.”

“Well.” Gavin shrugged. “I just hope he’s doing okay.”

“Yeah, he’ll text you when he’s free.” Tina said, as they walked together to the cafeteria. “For now...do you think we can do homework together?”

“Yeah, sure.”

That afternoon felt strangely...mournful. Tina didn’t know the right thing to say to cheer Gavin up. Even though he wasn’t crying or anything, it was clear he didn’t feel good either. She kept him entertained with anecdotes and questions about their homework, which did help Gavin focus on something else other than Nines. As the hours passed though, Gavin was starting to check his phone even more, waking up his screen in hopes to see a text, but nothing. Tina knew his alarm would go off at any point now, since Gavin had to go to work soon. The energy from yesterday and today felt similar, heavy, charged with unspoken emotion, but today it was a bit more suffocating. Tina wondered if Gavin was even aware of it, or if he was so incredibly focused on Nines that he couldn’t stop and think about himself. They still managed to finish their homework together, Tina would argue they worked faster thanks to Gavin’s stress levels being high. Somehow, it helped him write and read faster.

Like he just wanted time to go faster already.

“Ah—your alarm.” Tina mumbled, as Gavin grabbed his phone to turn it off. “Alright then...let’s go to the bus stop.”

“Yeah...” Gavin whispered, saving his books and laptop into his backpack. “At least I have tomorrow off.”

“You do?” Tina raised her brows in surprise, and Gavin hummed quietly. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.” Gavin shrugged. “Maybe just...play or watch anime or something.”

“What do you usually do when you have the day off?” Tina asked, as they walked out of the cafeteria.

“That.” Gavin responded. “Play games, watch anime, eat instant noodles.”

“My type of plan.” Tina sang out, making Gavin scoff. “Do you want to...watch something together?”

“I don’t know, I only watch gay anime.” Gavin said, apparently forgetting about shame today. “Very old school and problematic too, so probably not your type.”

“That’s fine, I don’t mind.” Tina said. “If you want to, we could hang out tomorrow...to kind of...you know.”

Gavin glanced at her, meeting her gaze.

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” Gavin responded sincerely. “I’m just worried, but I’m not...like, feeling sad or something.”

“I get that, I just thought you would enjoy doing something different.” Tina said, and Gavin nodded. “Think about it, alright? Let me know what you think.”

“I’ll think about it then.”

Just as they were approaching the stop, Gavin’s bus was already there.

“Oh—shit.” Gavin flinched. “Sorry—sorry, see you tomorrow!”

“Run, see you!” Tina let out, as she watched Gavin sprint towards the bus. “Oh, wow—look at those little legs.”

Gavin hopped on the bus in the blink of an eye, making Tina chuckle weakly.

“Bye!” She said, waving goodbye at Gavin, seeing him sitting by a window.

Gavin shyly waved goodbye before the bus drove away.

“Ah, man.” Tina sighed thinly. “So little and so intense—what a guy.”

The little intense guy in question was, indeed, staring intensely at his phone on his way to work.

He didn’t manage to put it down during the entire ride, unable to stop thinking about what was happening with Nines. He was imagining a million horrible things, like he had said no and he had been kicked out of the music video, and was now being fired by his manager. Of course, Gavin managed to make up the worst case scenarios, but his mind wasn’t helping him whatsoever. He checked Nines’ Instagram profile and sighed when he saw there weren’t any new stories posted. He twisted his lips slightly, looking away at the window to try and ease his mind...only for it to start shouting his thoughts louder. He was growing more and more curious to search Bryan’s profile, and the idea of him posting something related to what had happened today made him feel horrified. Somehow, in the middle of his internal struggle, he had managed to type in Bryan’s name into the search bar without realizing, and before he knew it, he was one click away from seeing it.

It took the bus making a sudden stop for him to click on it.

“Oh—shit.” Gavin flinched, as if he had done something terribly wrong.

However, the moment he finally saw who this guy was, his face was incredibly familiar to him.

“Oh—oh my god.” Gavin mumbled, scrolling down his pictures. “No—fucking way, you? This is you?”

In the shadiest, and pettiest manner, Gavin rolled his eyes at Bryan’s face and poses in all the pictures.

“Seriously, this was the best they could do?” Gavin mouthed with spite, frowning angrily at every picture. “What even...what’s with him? What’s the...is it the eyes? The hair? The—what exactly?”

Gavin kept scrolling and scrolling mindlessly, not realizing he was going way back in the past.

“He’s so short too, what’s the—”

Like electricity running through him, Gavin felt every inch of him ablaze as he finally reached...that part of Bryan’s life.

“Alright.”

The past where he and Nines were not only together, but were considered a golden couple on social media.

Like he was hypnotized, the moment Gavin saw the first picture he couldn’t look away. He didn’t even have it in him to ask why Bryan hadn’t deleted a single picture with Nines still, since he knew Nines didn’t have any pictures with Bryan on his profile. Matter of fact, Gavin didn’t remember Nines posting any pictures with him at all – he would remember, since he followed him religiously a year ago. He kept scrolling and almost analyzing every picture, being in awe at the...undeniable chemistry they seemed to have. Luxurious vacations, romantic expensive dates, and one or two official pictures taken by paparazzi were still up on social media. Gavin felt...so conflicted, as every picture with Bryan showed a Nines that didn’t exactly feel like the guy he played with every night. This Nines looked serious, reserved, and like the typical Instagram model guy without a personality. Bryan on the other hand looked radiant, smiling wide in every picture, holding Nines like his trophy – always with his hands on him. When Gavin read the comments he saw another story unfolding, fans mourning that relationship and asking Bryan what had happened between them.

There were even recent comments asking if they would ever get back together.

“Parkwood Manor!”

Gavin finally put down his phone.

The walk towards the laundromat was quiet, and even Gavin’s manager was a bit surprised to see him so somber so early. She asked him if he was feeling okay, but he blamed it on a bad day at college and nothing else. She kindly reminded him to call her if he felt like he was too tired to work, but Gavin reassured her it was nothing like that. By the time she left, Gavin was already doing his daily cleaning duties just so he could distract himself and think of something else. Yet, despite his best efforts, Gavin couldn’t erase the comments from his mind. The speculation over their relation felt so...weird to read, especially because most people referred to it as a perfect relationship when in reality it was the complete opposite. It was almost like Nines lived a truth that the world was completely oblivious to – a truth that only existed in his mind.

Gavin became a bit more aware of the emptiness in the laundromat that night.

“Alright...alright.” He mumbled, going back to his desk. “Time for a nap—time to...yeah, yeah.”

The ticking of the clock faded in and out of his mind, reminding him of how terribly slow time was passing that day.

“There we go.” Gavin whispered, placing his blanket on the desk. “Alright then...”

Before laying down, Gavin checked his phone one last time.

“Alright then.”

When he made sure there were still no texts, he laid down on his blanket and closed his eyes immediately.

Today would end soon, Gavn knew, all he needed to do was to turn off his brain for good. He had spent the majority of the day worrying about someone he barely knew, even though they had been texting, calling, and playing together constantly, that didn’t really mean Nines owed him an explanation about what he did or didn’t do. Maybe Gavin had gotten carried away with this new friendship, being too happy for connecting with someone he considered amazing this way. And even if something was really wrong, what could Gavin do exactly? He was far away from where Nines was, he didn’t have experience at this at all, matter of fact, he was even a little dumb when it came to emotions. He overthought so much today trying to come up with something reassuring to say, and yet all he managed to tell Nines was ‘I’ll be here if you want to talk’. Now his own text sounded stupid, like he had put little to no effort in his response. But he did put a lot of effort, he was ready to be on call with Nines for as long as he needed to vent.

Why did he think Nines would show him that side of him in the first place?

Gavin was slowly grounding himself back to reality, reminding himself that he and Nines were nothing but strangers who talked a lot. Tina was right, Nines definitely liked spending time with him because Gavin distracted him – that was all he was to him, a distraction. Something casual to pass the time. Maybe that’s why Nines never responded to the important questions that Gavin asked, because he didn’t think he needed to, because their friendship wasn’t like that. And yet here he was, losing sleep over it, feeling horrified for Nines’ sake, like he even knew the guy at all. Gavin wanted to grip himself in his hands and shake himself back to his senses, trying to get rid of that painful sensation of...betrayal. Nines hadn’t done anything; it had been Gavin who just...thought things were different. In a way, he couldn’t blame himself. After years of not having a friend who was excited to spend time with him in this way, he must have poured a lot of his bottled emotions onto Nines; such as hope, excitement, happiness, affection.

Gavin might simply be starving of human connection.

Interrupting his thoughts, Gavin heard the bell ringing, lazily mumbling as he looked up,

“Good evening...”

Yet, before he could continue talking to himself, the starving human by the door was already walking up towards him.

“Good—what—hello?” Gavin stuttered, sliding off his stool sharply. “Nines—?”

The only thing Gavin was able to process was the sudden weight being thrown in his arms.

“Hey—ah.” Gavin embraced him with his arms tightly, trying to endure Nines’ weight. “Nines.”

The emptiness of the laundromat, just like the ticking of the clock, faded out of his mind.

“Nines?” Gavin whispered quietly, rubbing his back awkwardly, yet determinedly. “Hey...”

Every word he could’ve possibly come up with quickly trailed away from his mind, the moment Gavin felt a weak dampness on his shoulder.

“It’s...okay...” Gavin said, not really aware of what he was saying anymore. “It’s okay.”

Yet, for once, his words felt right.

“It’s okay...” Gavin kept softly whispering, gaining confidence in his hands as he rubbed Nines’ back. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“N—o.”

Gavin pressed his lips tightly together, feeling, as clearly as he could feel Nines’ tears, a sting of pain tightening his throat.

“Does anyone know you’re here?” Gavin asked.

“Yeah.” Nines responded weakly. “Yeah...Clay...knows.”

“Okay.”

Gavin didn’t dare move an inch. Instead, he grounded his feet properly on the floor just so he could embrace Nines firmly.

Seconds passed, slow, just like time had passed the entire day. However, in that moment, it felt right. Nines’ weight felt heavier in Gavin’s arms, but within time, he learned how to hold him properly. The dampness on his shoulder started to feel cold, the AC of the laundromat made Gavin shiver and yet, he simply leaned his head on Nines’ in silence. He looked out the window, seeing as there were no customers close by, and feeling so grateful there weren’t. He didn’t know what he would do if someone came here to interrupt them, just like he also didn’t know what exactly had happened with Nines to have him here. He guessed that even though Gavin didn’t have a car to move around freely, Nines did, but he couldn’t imagine what exactly had gone down to make Nines feel like he needed to get away from that city and come back here. Gavin stayed quiet though, he wouldn’t ask questions until Nines was ready to talk, and it wouldn’t be too long until he did. After long minutes, Nines leaned away from Gavin’s shoulder and covered his face with his hands, rubbing his eyes with his fingers to wipe his tears away.

Gavin awkwardly fixed Nines’ hair, and that gentle touch made Nines lower his hand to meet his gaze.

“I’m—sorry, sorry.” Gavin whispered, lowering his hands quickly. “It was just a little messy.”

“It’s fine.” Nines mumbled, taking a deep breath. “Oh...my god, what a fucking mess.”

“What...happened?” Gavin asked hesitantly, pulling his stool and offering it to Nines, who sat down without thinking. “You said Clay knows you’re here.”

“Yeah, yeah, he knows.” Nines nodded weakly. “He...if it makes you feel better, he approved of it.” He scoffed under his breath, making Gavin frown.

“I’m not really worried.” Gavin said. “I just wanted to know what happened.”

Nines took another deep breath, filling his lungs just so he could stop sniffing.

“O—kay.” Nines mumbled, feeling his lips shivering. “O—kay, okay, dramatic, oh my god.”

“Hey.” Gavin placed his hands on his shoulders. “It’s fine, you hear me? It doesn’t matter if you think this is right or wrong, you just feel like this, that’s it. That’s what’s important.” He nodded confidently. “I’m...glad that you made it here safe, I don’t even know how long is it from there to here, but, I’m just...I’m very relieved.”

Nines found himself staring at Gavin in silence – perhaps, a bit too long.

“Ah—I—so.” Gavin mumbled shyly, letting go of his shoulders. “Do you want to talk to me about...what...happened?”

“Ah, yeah.” Nines whispered, clearing his throat. “Yeah, I mean. I come in here crashing out, you deserve an explanation.”

“I don’t know about deserve but...” Gavin shrugged. “I would just like to know.”

A thin smile managed to break Nines’ sad grimace.

“Yeah.” Nines nodded slowly. “Well...I think you can imagine the whole thing was shit.”

“The...yeah, when you texted me about the kiss and stuff, I knew it wasn’t going to be fun.” Gavin admitted. “But you didn’t...you stopped replying, so I didn’t know...”

“I couldn’t talk.” Nines confessed, shaking his head. “We went to have lunch together with all of them and I think I disconnected so bad that I didn’t even realize what was happening—what they were talking about with me right there at the table.”

“What do you mean?” Gavin frowned.

“Julia asked us,” Nines said, looking down to the floor. “She asked us why we weren’t together anymore.”

“The lady?” Gavin asked, and Nines nodded. “Oh, what the fuck is her problem?”

“I don’t know, but Clay was pissed off.” Nines said. “He was angry and I didn’t notice up until he started to raise his voice, and that’s when I kind of came back to my senses. I was so, so out of it, Gavin.” He sighed quietly. “You have no idea how fucking bad it was. It was like I woke up in the middle of a war, and George was lying about why we broke up, and then Clay was like ‘you know that’s not what happened’, and then I looked at Bryan and—you know what’s funny? He also looked fucking uncomfortable and miserable, and it was like they were all talking about us like we weren’t there at the table.”

“Oh—oh, what the hell?” Gavin frowned even harder, feeling wrinkles forming on his forehead. “What the hell were they doing? Why would they bring that up like that?”

“I don’t know, but George—Bryan’s manager, he was telling Julia that we broke up because we were young and it we couldn’t solve all our problems, and bullshit. Clay was red in the face; I’ve seen him angry before—but he was fuming.” Nines nodded, rolling his eyes with frustration. “But I think what...what fucked it up for me was that I...realized ‘lunch’ ended and I didn’t say anything.”

“What do you mean?” Gavin asked. “Like say anything to Julia? Say anything to Clay? George?”

“To anyone.” Nines let out. “I didn’t say anything, I just heard them all discussing my relationship like I wasn’t even there, and Julia was just smiling like she fucking knew what she was doing, and she better have realized it’s never going to happen anymore—she said, listen to this, Gavin.” He pointed down at the floor with his hand. “She said, ‘you still have chemistry’, and Clay—obviously, he said, ‘yeah, Nines is a professional’, like—obviously, dammit, I’ll have chemistry with fucking anyone you ask me to fucking kiss because that’s my motherfucking job, fuck.”

Gavin could feel Nines’ anger exuding out of him like heat, and somehow, he was sweating.

“I don’t even remember how it ended, I zoned out again.” Nines admitted. “I was just staring at my plate and eating, and then Clay stood up and grabbed my arm and I stood up with him, and we left.” He nodded as he remembered. “Before we got to my hotel room I just turned to him and told him I didn’t want to be there anymore.”

“So, did you just...ditch? You left?” Gavin asked quietly.

“No, tomorrow we had off anyway.” Nines said. “I’ll be going back on Saturday afternoon to take some final pictures with the band of the music video, and then Sunday is the last ‘takes’ for the video but with the band.”

“Why weren’t they with you today?” Gavin raised a brow in confusion.

“Because...schedules.” Nines shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m very used to coming back and doing shit again and again, that’s kind of how it works.”

“It sounds like a pain in the ass.” Gavin let out, and Nines nodded in agreement. “I’m sorry, Nines.”

“It’s whatever, they fucked around and found out, I don’t even know why Julia felt entitled to bring that shit up like that.” Nines mumbled. “At least fucking Bryan didn’t say anything—because I know his ass, he can’t fucking stay quiet when he feels his ego is in danger, but he did, miraculously, and he better.”

Gavin could see the tension in Nines’ shoulders, so rigid it almost looked like it hurt.

“I’m so tired.” Nines whispered, holding his hands together on his lap. “I can’t fucking sleep right at hotels—it’s full of creeps.”

Gavin tilted his head slightly, humming quietly.

“Did something happen at the hotel?” Gavin asked.

“Not this time.” Nines responded.

That was enough of an answer for Gavin to not ask any more questions.

“Anyway...God, what the hell.” Nines rubbed his face with his hands roughly. “This is so fucking embarrassing, I’m sorry, Gavin.”

Maybe it was never a matter of thinking too hard.

“I’m sorry they treated you this way.” Gavin said. “You shouldn’t feel so on edge while working, you shouldn’t feel like you can’t say anything or you’ll get punished. I can’t imagine how fucking difficult it is for you to just do your job when everyone doesn’t take you seriously.” He emphasized. “They have some fucking nerve too, treating you this way when they depend on you for this. They’re the ones who need you to sell their shit, you sell yourself with your own abilities, you don’t need anything but yourself.”

Nines put down his hands to his lap, looking up to meet Gavin’s gaze.

“Maybe you didn’t say anything today, but you will say something after today.” Gavin said confidently. “Clay did what he could, but you are enough for people to respect you. You’re a very hard-working guy, you work harder than anyone I know, and it’s not fair that these people feel entitled to disrespect you when they know you’re vital for their little bullshit summer whatever.”

A weak smile drew on Nines’ lips, taking Gavin by surprise – blinking in confusion.

“I just don’t...want you to think this is your fault or something.” Gavin insisted. “You did everything perfectly, you did your job, Bryan did his job too—and that’s it. The one who was inappropriate wasn’t you—or him, actually, this is not on you, and you did the right thing by leaving and taking some space.” He hummed. “You need some real rest.”

Without realizing, Gavin had been holding his breath for a while now, and he exhaled heavily through his nose.

“Thank you.” Nines giggled quietly, amused at Gavin’s heavy sigh. “I know this is kind of embarrassing though, me appearing out of nowhere and crashing out—but I just didn’t want to go home and be alone.”

“It’s not...embarrassing.” Gavin said, leaning on the desk by Nines’ side. “I was actually...you have no idea how worried I was the entire day, just kind of—waiting to hear from you and checking my phone a lot like...”

Blush started to cover Gavin’s cheeks, and he quickly cleared his throat to dissipate it.

“I was thinking...” Gavin mumbled. “’Why would he tell me anything’, you know? Like, I was beating myself up and everything, it was bad.”

“What do you mean, ‘why’, we’re friends.” Nines said, almost insulted. “I literally tell you what I eat for breakfast and you thought I wouldn’t tell you this?”

“I don’t know—alright? I just didn’t know what to feel.” Gavin confessed, rubbing his eyes nervously. “I didn’t want to...I don’t know, it’s just, we haven’t known each other for that long but I felt so connected and—”

Gavin choked on his words when he heard them, and Nines, on the other hand, only parted his lips in silence.

“I just didn’t know, alright? You didn’t text me and I was like all worried and I felt kind of stupid but I’m just glad you’re okay.” Gavin rambled, nodding rapidly. “Very happy...you’re okay, all okay.”

Nines looked away, Gavin stared intensely at the door.

“I mean.” Nines mumbled. “I’m here, so.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“It kinda tells you something about the whole—connected thing and stuff.”

Gavin rubbed his hands weakly.

“Yeah, I know.” He whispered. “I get it.”

“Do you?”

Somewhere in the window in front of him, Gavin found his reflection staring back at him.

“I...do.” Gavin said. “I think I do.”

“I don’t think you do.”

Somehow, Gavin couldn’t see the color in his eyes.

“I just,” Gavin felt his lips dry. “I think too much.”

“So do I.” Nines admitted, staring at his own nervous hands. “I overthink whether blue is blue or not, you know?”

“What?” Gavin chuckled weakly.

“I don’t know.” Nines laughed too.

As their eyes met, Gavin could see some of his green again.

“Are you tired?” Gavin asked.

“Big time.” Nines responded honestly. “I’m probably going to pass out in my car.”

“Why don’t you go home?” Gavin asked. “I’ll get off work soon—what time is it?”

Nines raised his brows slightly.

“What do you mean?” Nines mumbled. “You’ll get off work and then what?”

Gavin seemed to have realized it right then and there too.

“I mean—you said that—you know.” Gavin shrugged shyly. “Didn’t you just say you don’t want to be alone?”

“Well...yeah.” Nines whispered, seeing Gavin nod slowly. “So...?”

“I’ll—if you want to, I mean, I can—or you could call Clay if you want, I just thought that—because you were here, you know.”

A chuckle betrayed Nines, making Gavin laugh nervously too.

“Stop—making fun of me.” Gavin stuttered. “I’m trying my best.”

“I know, it just kinda feels like I’m holding you at gunpoint.” Nines sighed thinly, seeing Gavin roll his eyes. “So, I come pick you up?”

“No—I mean, if you want me to keep you company.” Gavin felt the need to clarify. “Or if you want to go to my apartment—I’ll be there in a bit—I can give you my key.”

“You would do that?” Nines raised a brow teasingly. “You would give a stranger your key just like that?”

“You’re not a—shut up, Nines, you know what you’re doing.”

Seamlessly, Nines slid off the stool and stood up right in front of Gavin.

“I actually don’t know what I’m doing.” Nines said. “I never know what I’m doing.”

“Then think.” Gavin whispered, resting his elbows back on the desk to support himself. “Take it or leave it, go home to your pretty house or go to my broke apartment, you choose.”

Nines bit down on his lips, giggling quietly under his breath as he looked up to the ceiling.

“You know what?” Nines hummed, looking down to meet his gaze. “You would make a great detective; you get a little flustered and you go straight to threats.”

“Actually, shut up.” Gavin poked Nines’ nose with his knuckles, making him chuckle. “I said what I said.”

“Fine.” Nines lowered Gavin’s hand from his face. “My house is closer but you have college tomorrow, so I think it makes sense we go to your apartment instead.”

“Oh, you’re right.” Gavin nodded. “I kinda forgot I had classes tomorrow—because it’s my break, I think I just felt like I wasn’t doing anything at all.”

“Oh, you definitely are.” Nines said. “You’re keeping me from crashing out again! And without pay!”

“Shut up.” Gavin held in a loud wheeze, attempting to push Nines away.

Just then he realized Nines still was holding his hand by his wrist.

“Okay—so.” Gavin cleared his throat, looking down to Nines’ hand. “Let me send you my address.”

Nines glanced down to their embrace, blinking in surprise when he realized what he was doing, quickly letting him go.

“I would wait for you here but I’m seriously about to pass out.” Nines confessed, hearing Gavin scoff as he reached for his phone. “I’ll order some food by the way, what do you want for breakfast?”

“Anything is fine...” Gavin said as he sent Nines his address and handed him his keys. “I just realized I already sent you my address from that time...”

“Ah—you’re right.” Nines chuckled shyly, stepping back. “Then...what time is it?”

“Three a.m.”

“Okay, you’re almost off work then.” Nines said, and Gavin nodded. “Then...”

“Yeah...”

Somehow, they had managed to stretch this interaction to a point where nothing they said felt right.

“I’ll see you in a bit.” Gavin said.

“Yup, yeah, see you.”

“See you.”

At last, Nines finally managed to walk away out of Gavin’s sight.

“Drive carefully!” Gavin said before he walked out of the laundromat, and Nines gave him a thumbs up.

“I’ll text you when I get to your house.” Nines said. “Good luck.”

“Yup.”

Just like that, the week was over...on a note neither of them expected.

“Okay...yeah.” Gavin mumbled to himself, checking his phone again to see missed texts. “Ah.”

Tina had texted him while he was talking to Nines, and without thinking much of it, he opened the conversation to read,

“I hope you’re doing okay.”

In the same mindless manner, Gavin simply responded,

“Nines is staying at my place.”

Naturally, Nines too informed Clay of the sudden turn of events with a text,

“I’m staying at Gavin’s tonight.”

And at the same time, Tina and Clay had the same eloquent response,

“What???”

With that, the documentary finished on an... unpredictable note.