Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Kim Taehyung is so weird”

“Did you see him at the fansign today?”

“Does he really think he’s funny and cute when he does that?”

“Honestly sometimes I don’t know why BigHit keeps him, BTS would be better without him”

Usually Taehyung could deal with negative fan comments.  He was a naturally sweet and cheerful person who would be upset for a few minutes before moving on. This week it was harder.  Taehyung was tired.  Everyone was tired, members and staff alike.  Comebacks and promotions were always intense, and with their shortened promo period, there seemed to be even more pressure than usual.  

So when Taehyung happened to see something negative written about him, it was harder for him to shake it off and move on.  As the comments piled up though, he couldn’t take it anymore.  Shutting off his phone, he tossed it across the room onto a couch and curled up in his chair, knees clutched to his chest.

Jungkook found him there a few minutes later, looking up from his own phone to see Taehyung staring off into space. "Tae is something wrong?" Jungkook knelt beside Taehyung's chair, hand on his arm.

"I'm fine Kookie." Taehyung said, still staring ahead blankly. After a moment he turned to meet Jungkook's disbelieving stare. "Really Kook, I'm alright. I'm just tired." He gave the younger boy a wide smile, hoping to convince him.

Jungkook squinted at him and seemed to want to say more, but decided against it. Standing up, he wrapped his arms around Taehyung's shoulders over the back of his chair. Poking his chin into Taehyung's shoulder, he gave the older a quick squeeze.

"Get some rest, we have a couple hours before we need to be at practice." The warm comfortable weight around Taehyung's shoulders disappeared as Jungkook stood up and walked back out of the room. Taehyung, staring into space again, didn't see the worried frown on the younger's face.

* * *

"Kookie has started a new chat"

Kookie: 'hyungs I'm worried about Tae'

Chimchim: 'what happened kookie, is he hurt?!'

Kookie: 'I don't think he's physically hurt, but I found him just sitting earlier, and he looked so sad'

Hobi: 'did he tell u what was wrong??'

Suga~: 'Who do I need to kill, someone pls give me names'

Eomma: 'Yoongi no killing'

Suga~: 'but'

Clumsy: 'let kookie speak'

Kookie: 'he said he was just tired, but I think it's more'

Kookie: 'he just seems off'

Chimchim: 'has anyone checked the fancafe and SMS lately? the comments on there can really get to him sometimes'

Hobi: 'Oh...'

Hobi: 'It seems to be more than usual, poor Taehyungie'

Suga~: 'So what do we do?'

Eomma: 'We'll show him that he's loved.'

Chapter Text

Their dance practice ran late that afternoon. What should've been a couple hours of polishing bled into the later hours of the evening. Every time Taehyung thought they were close to being finished, Hoseok or their choreographer would find something else to adjust, or someone would miss a beat and they would have to start again. Taehyung knew that everything had to be perfect for their performances next week, but all he wanted to do was sleep.

When the song finally ended for the last time and they could drop their final pose, the the boys flopped about the studio in varying states of exhaustion. For a while the room was silent except for quiet pants and the crackling of water bottles.

"The van is leaving for the dorms in 15 minutes, so everyone be ready to go back so we can get to bed.” Seokjin was the first to stand up, nudging the others with his foot as he began to gather his things.

The others groaned at him. Namjoon slapped the offending foot away and Jungkook latched onto his hyung's ankle, demanding to be pulled across the room. Seokjin complied for a few steps before gently squashing the maknae's chest with his shoe. The rest of the group slowly began to pick themselves up and gather sweatshirts and phones.

Taehyung, lying on his back in the middle of the studio with his eyes closed, felt someone flop down next to him and heave a sigh. A moment later, he opened his eyes to see Hoseok staring at him, face propped on his hands and hair slicked back off his face.

The slim dancer gave Taehyung a tired smile. "You danced well today Taehyungie."

Taehyung choked out a harsh laugh. "You're just saying that hyung. This choreo is kicking my butt, and it's obvious. You saw my mistakes today, and I know everyone else did.”

He closed his eyes again with a sigh, trying to regain some feeling and energy to his exhausted body. He’d heard the little sighs and groans as he’d stumbled out of place for the third time, causing the music to start from the beginning again. His insecurities crowded back in, seeing their chance.

'You're not good enough.'

'Why do you think you can dance? That wasn't dancing.'

'Everyone is disappointed in you. As usual.'

Beside him Hoseok made a small noise of disbelief, breaking apart his thoughts, and Taehyung knew he was rolling his eyes. "Tae. You're a great dancer and you've made so much progress in the past few years. This choreo is kicking all of our butts. It's some of the hardest stuff we've ever done, but we can do it, because we have more skills than we used to, you included."

"I know it feels like it's not working right now, but honestly, we've been practicing for five hours and we're all exhausted. You’re your own worst enemy sometimes Tae, but know that we’re always going to love you regardless of your dancing skills. We, you, need to go back to the dorms and get some rest. That's what's important right now." Hoseok's voice was kind and gentle. “Everyone will feel better tomorrow once we’ve slept and eaten.”

Hoseok stood up and offered Taehyung his hand, which the younger accepted. The dancer pulled him to his feet and into a hug. "More importantly Tae, is the fact that you're dancing is great, and you can do this. I know you can.”

Taehyung relaxed into the hug for a moment, absorbing Hoseok's words. The weight on his chest lifted a little and he let out a small sigh. "Thank's hyung." He wriggled in Hoseok's embrace. "Now get off me, you're all sweaty."

Hoseok chuckled and let him go. "C'mon, we should pack up our stuff and get ready to leave before Seokjin-hyung starts hitting everyone. You know how he gets when he wants to shower, and I personally want to keep living with all my limbs intact.” Taehyung smiled at that, and Hoseok gave his shoulder a squeeze before going off to collect his own belongings.

The van ride back to the dorms saw Taehyung fast asleep, head burrowed into the crook of Hoseok's neck. From the front, Seokjin caught Hoseok's eye and gave him a small smile, which the younger returned. Hoseok shifted so that he could wrap his arm around Taehyung and pull him closer, smiling down at him as the streetlights slipped by, everything quiet and dark.

Chapter Text

After a quick dinner and a much needed shower, Taehyung flopped into his bed with a groan. Even with a relatively good practice session, and Hoseok's encouraging words, he was finding it hard to feel any better. The mistakes he'd made in practice played on a loop in his head along with the negative comments.

Taehyung didn't understand why it was so hard for him to shake this feeling of worthlessness. He didn't know why this time of all times he was letting himself get affected by the negativity.

He knew that being an idol came with its ups and downs, and he'd learned to take the occasional mean comment in stride, but maybe it had just become too much. Taehyung buried his head in his pillow and yelled, trying to relieve some of the pressure in his chest.

It didn’t help. The tightness was still there. Taehyung squeezed his eyes shut, snapping them open at the sound of harsh breathing. When he realized it was his own, he slapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide. He curled into a ball under the covers, hands clenched to keep them from shaking as his negative thoughts spun into a ringing behind his ears.

He didn't hear the door to his room creak open.

“Tae? Jungkook was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie with us.”

Taehyung whimpered, unable to form words from the haze of static in his brain. Faintly, he felt Jimin pulling back the covers and sitting down beside him, pulling him into a sitting position.

“Hey, you’re alright. I’m here, just breathe.” Jimin’s voice was soft and he placed his hands on Taehyung’s shoulders gently. Taehyung looked up from his clenched hands to see Jimin gazing at him. “Lets just take some deep breaths okay?” Jimin smiled gently at him. “In, and out. Just like that, you’re doing great.” Taehyung mimicked Jimin’s breaths, in through his nose and out his mouth slowly with a whoosh.

After a few minutes Taehyung found his breaths coming steadily without thought, lethargy following his initial panic. He felt Jimin’s hand running through his hair, and he slumped back onto his pillow. Taehyung took Jimin’s hand and tugged him closer until Jimin crawled under the covers with him. He sighed and shuffled to tuck into Jimin's chest, the other boy's arm coming around to rub his back in slow circles.

"Jiminie I'm so tired, and I feel so awful." Taehyung spoke into Jimin's collarbone. "I know this is supposed to be when we're happy and excited, and with our wins, it's even more exciting. But I'm just exhausted Jiminie, and every little negative thing seems to stress me out more."

Taehyung felt Jimin press soft kisses to the top of his head. "Its alright to be tired Tae, you've been working hard, it’s natural to feel stressed. You know we love you and we're here for you whenever you need it."  

Taehyung snuggled further into Jimin’s embrace, needing the feeling of the other’s arms around him. Jimin’s breath ruffled his hair, his warmth seeping into Taehyung’s exhausted body.

“I don’t want you guys to worry about me.” Taehyung muttered, staring fixedly at Jimin’s teeshirt.

Jimin pulled away from Taehyung's embrace to look him in the eye. “Tae. We worry about you because we care about you. Please don’t ever feel like you’re a burden to us. You’re so important, and yeah we’re a little worried about you right now, but we want to help you feel better. Don’t ever forget that.” He ruffled Taehyung’s hair, fingers threading through the soft locks. “Now come watch a movie with me and Jungkook, it’ll help take your mind off things for a while.”

Taehyung allowed himself to be pulled gently out of his bed, and led into the living room, hand clasped tightly in Jimin’s. Jungkook was sitting on the couch with the remote, and gave Taehyung a warm smile when the elder settled under the blanket next to him.

Jimin pulled the blanket over the three of them. As the movie started, Taehyung felt Jimin’s hand slip into his again. Letting out a soft sigh, he snuggled down under the blanket, tucking into Jimin’s side. He felt Jungkook pull his legs into his lap and Jimin wrap his arm around his shoulders. The three of them snuggled together, warm and quiet.

Halfway through the movie, Jungkook fell asleep and started snoring softly. Grinning fondly at the maknae, Jimin paused the movie and turned the TV off. Gesturing to Taehyung, the two boys slid out from under the blanket and crept back to their room after tucking Jungkook under the blanket and slipping another pillow under his head.

“Sleep with me tonight?” The two of them were sitting on the side of Taehyung’s bed, knees bumping.

“Of course I will Tae.”

Crawling under the covers, Taehyung tucked himself into the shorter boy's chest and closed his eyes. Jimin always knew how to make him feel better, whether with a kind word or a hug, he kept Taehyung going sometimes and Taehyung loved him for it. He gave a small sigh, feeling like he could finally rest.

When Hoseok came into the room later, he smiled at the two of them fast asleep in each other's arms. 

Chapter Text

The next morning Taehyung woke to find himself alone again in his bed, faint traces of warmth in the mattress telling him Jimin hadn't been up long. After a few minutes of swinging his feet off the side of his bed, Taehyung wandered into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. 

Seokjin was standing over the stove, stirring something in a pan. He looked up when Taehyung came into the room and gave the younger a wide smile. "Morning Taehyungie."  Seokjin’s hair was rumpled, seemingly undecided as to whether it wanted to stick up or fall in his face, giving him a soft sleepy look.

Taehyung stepped forward to pat it down. "Morning hyung.” He snaked his arms around the eldest, pressing his nose to the back of Seokjin's neck. He felt a little lighter this morning, a good night’s sleep snuggled up with Jimin and the sunlight filtering through translucent curtains helping to lift his mood.

"Here, tell me how it is." Seokjin turned, offering a spoon to Taehyung. “Careful, it’s hot.” The younger opened his mouth and took the food, humming happily as he chewed.

"Mmm...it's so good hyung." He gave Seokjin a smile. "You take such good care of us." Seokjin let out a little laugh when Taehyung wrapped his arms around him again, snuggling into the elder’s back.

"I like taking care of all of you." Seokjin murmured, his hand coming up to smooth down Taehyung's sleep-tousled hair. "You all mean so much too me." Taehyung smiled and squeezed Seokjin tighter.

"Oof Taehyungie, I have to finish breakfast. If you squeeze me to death, I won't be able to do that, and you’ll all starve.” Taehyung giggled and held on a little harder, burying his face in Seokjin’s neck.

"Don't kill Jin-hyung please Taehyungie! I'm hungry!" The two of them laughed at Namjoon's worried tone as he stumbled into the kitchen.

Taehyung released his hyung and went to sit at the counter with Namjoon. Gently kicking his feet against the cabinets, he let the sunlight and happy familiarity soak into him.

The peacefulness of the kitchen was broken as the rest of the members began to filter in, drying their hair or rubbing sleep out of their eyes. As the seven boys gathered around the table for breakfast, Taehyung couldn’t help but smile. This was home, this was family.

“You have a funny smile on your face Tae.” Jungkook remarked around a mouthful of rice, whining a moment later when Yoongi poked him in the side.

“I just…” Taehyung scuffed his feet against each other, “I love you guys a lot.”

***

That afternoon, the seven members piled into the van to drive to a fansign. Snuggled in the back row between Jimin and Jungkook, Taehyung lost himself in the passing scenery, watching trees and apartments flash by the van window. Arriving at the venue, he followed the other members inside, waving and smiling.

“Taehyung-oppa!” Taehyung looked up to see the next fan sliding over to his spot. He smiled at her as she brushed her long brown hair behind her ear.

“What’s your name?” He asked as he prepared to sign her album.

“Eunji.” She grinned shyly and fiddled with the sleeve of her jacket.

“That’s a pretty name.” Taehyung gave her a wide smile as he finished signing her album. “Are you a student?” She nodded. “Well, make sure to work hard and study well!” He grinned at her.

Her expression became more serious. “Oppa, I just wanted to tell you that we all love you and you are important to BTS. So don’t get discouraged! Fighting!” She raised her fist encouragingly and smiled brightly at him before moving down to kneel in front of Jimin. Taehyung stared after her for a moment before he turned to the next fan, the words caught in his throat.

The rest of the afternoon was filled with laughter. Namjoon accidentally knocked over a bottle of water, and almost drenched Jimin and a fan, to which Jimin retaliated by hitting their clumsy leader over the head with a stuffed bear.

That night, Taehyung's spirits were much higher than they had been the previous night. He joked with the others over dinner and hummed as he helped Seokjin clean the kitchen.  

Namjoon sat at the counter, offering quiet commentary on the day and making ridiculous faces at Seokjin whenever his back was turned.  It was hard for Taehyung not to snicker, but he schooled his expression into blank innocence, smiling whenever the eldest turned around suspiciously.

The little quiet bubble that of the dorm kitchen was peaceful and happy.  Taehyung felt warm and content and safe here in the half-light with his hyungs.

After the kitchen was clean, Taehyung made his way upstairs, but didn't stop when he reached his room, heading instead to the stairs that led to the roof. Pushing open the heavy door, he stepped outside. Seoul's bright skyline blinked against the sky, casting a faint glow against low-hanging clouds.

Taehyung walked across the roof and sat carefully on the ledge. His feet dangled off the edge, and he kicked them back and forth, staring at the city without really seeing any of it.

He started at the sound of a sigh, and turned to see Namjoon sitting down next to him.

"Careful hyung, you don't want to fall off." Taehyung gave a wide grin and Namjoon snorted.

"I may be clumsy, but that doesn't mean I'm going to fall off the--" Namjoon wobbled mid-sentence and Taehyung gasped, grabbing him and falling back onto the roof. They lay there for a long moment. Taehyung's heart thumping against his ribs, his arms wrapped tightly around the elder.

"I thought you were gonna fall." He finally gasped out.

"You caught me though." Namjoon's hand covered Taehyung's and he gave it a comforting squeeze. "I can always count on you to have my back Tae. What would I do without you?"

Taehyung stared up at the sky. "Probably lots of stuff." He mumbled.

Namjoon pulled away from his embrace enough to tilt Taehyung's head towards him. "Bull." Taehyung dropped his eyes, choosing to stare at Namjoon's shoulder instead of his face. "Tae, you're so damn important. You make us laugh, and you have an amazing voice, and you're so brilliant. You know when something's wrong and you always try to help us." Taehyung's gaze flicked up to Namjoon's. "Do not for one second, ever think you aren't important.”

Namjoon pointed upwards. “Look. What do you see?”

“Clouds hyung, same as always.”

“No, look over there.” Taehyung followed Namjoon’s gesture. “See it?” There between the clouds, was a single star, it’s faint blue light flickering.

Taehyung smiled, looking at the tiny star.

“It’s up there shining, even though there are clouds all around it. Even though it’s difficult for its light to get through, it did, and it makes everything more beautiful.”

Namjoon turned to look at Taehyung and the younger couldn't help the small smile on his face. “Let me guess. I’m the star right?”

“I told you you were smart.” Namjoon grinned at him and poked Taehyung gently in the arm.

Taehyung rolled his eyes a little. “Always so philosophical and wise, our leader.”

“You’re damn right about that!” Namjoon winked and pulled Taehyung up so that they were sitting, shoulders pressed together and Namjoon could snake an arm around Taehyung’s waist.

Taehyung rested his head in the crook of Namjoon’s neck and sighed. “You know, you’re a great leader, hyung. I don’t know where we’d be without you.”

Namjoon pressed his lips to the top of Taehyung’s head. “Thanks Tae, I don’t know what we’d do without you either.” They sat there looking out at the skyline for a little longer, before Namjoon shifted and stood up. Reaching down, he helped Taehyung to his feet and stretched, stifling a yawn. “C’mon it’s late, we need to sleep.”

Taehyung leaned into Namjoon’s shoulder, not bothering to hide his yawn. “Can I sleep with you tonight hyung?” His question was mumbled sleepily into the fabric of Namjoon’s sweatshirt.

“Of course you can, now let’s got, we have to be up early tomorrow.” Taking Taehyung’s hand, the older man led him across the roof and back down the stairs to the dorms. As they crawled into bed, Namjoon wrapped an arm around Taehyung’s waist, pulling the younger’s back against his chest. “Sleep well Taehyungie.” The only response was Taehyung’s soft, even breathing. Namjoon smiled and closed his eyes, wrapping his arm just a little tighter around the younger.

Chapter Text

“Time to wake up! We have two showcase recordings today.” Taehyung sat up in bed. Namjoon was walking to the bathroom, brushing past Seokjin who had poked his head in to wake them up. Rubbing his eyes, Taehyung slipped out of bed and made his way down the hall to his own room, where Jimin was pulling on a hoodie.

“Sleep alright?” Jimin asked as he pushed his hair off his face. Taehyung nodded and went to pull on a pair of sweatpants. As he was pulling on a fresh shirt, Hoseok walked back into the room, drying his hair.

“Ready for today?” Hoseok gave Taehyung a one-armed hug as he walked by.

“Always.” Taehyung grinned and went to go brush his teeth. Namjoon was in the shower when he walked in, something that after six years of living together, they had all gotten used to. Sharing a bathroom between the seven of them meant that alone time in the bathroom was incredibly rare and showers often had to be doubled up, but they managed. The sink had only overflowed a few times and it had been almost six months since Namjoon accidentally broke the handle to the toilet.

After brushing his teeth, Taehyung returned to the room and grabbed his phone before meeting the other members in the common room. After pulling on coats and masks, they filed out the door and into the van to take them to the recording stage.

They arrived at the recording location. Fans had already gathered outside the main doors, held back by a low metal barrier. The seven climbed out of the van and walked across the parking lot, waving into the clamor of screaming fangirls and clicking shutters.

Taehyung smiled softly behind his mask. He loved the fans and how much love they showed BTS. Without them, he knew they couldn’t have gotten as far as they were today. He stepped into the building behind Jimin, the noises of the cameras and fangirls fading behind heavy glass doors. They walked down the familiar hallways to the back rooms behind the stage, where the noonas were waiting to do their hair and makeup.

After changing into his outfit for the first recording, Taehyung settled into his chair beside Yoongi. He dozed on and off as his makeup was applied and hair carefully styled, the routine as familiar now as eating and brushing his teeth. He felt as if when the makeup was carefully patted on, the shadow accentuating his eyes, the spray keeping his hair in place, he had transformed. Kim Taehyung was gone for a while, and V had taken his place. He was a performer, trained for this, and his costume was carefully fitted to him.

During the first year or so of BTS’s appearance under the public gaze, he had struggled with reconciling who he was to his friends and bandmates when the cameras were away and who he was to the public under the stage lights and in front of the cameras. There had been many sleepless nights spent crying into his pillow, trying to stifle it and not wake his roommates.

One night Jimin had heard him and crawled in beside him, stroking his hair as Taehyung sobbed out his insecurities and fears. The next day, Namjoon and Yoongi had come to him quietly and talked to him, asking if he wanted to talk to Bang PD. He'd shaken his head and they'd exchanged a look before calling Jin in to talk with him as well. Namjoon had been young, they'd all been young, but they had talked through Taehyung's issues together. After that it had been better, his hyungs learning to catch the signs of when he'd start wavering, the threads of self doubt creeping back in.

He'd had his low moments in the past two and a half years, but the other members had always been there for him in one way or another, comforting him in their own unique ways. He loved and appreciated them all for it.

His makeup was done and he stood, stretching. Yoongi was still in his chair, eyes closed as the noona put the finishing touches on his eye makeup. Taehyung flicked his shoulder before walking off to find Jungkook or Jimin. He found them in the hallway, taking selcas with Seokjin sleeping in the background.

"He's gonna beat you two up."

Jimin grinned. "Nah, we're cute, we'll be fine." Jungkook nodded.

Taehyung shrugged. "Well in any case, I had nothing to do with it so when he throws you two across the room later, I was NOT a part of any of this." With a laugh he went to find Namjoon, who was sitting with Hoseok. The two were hunched over Namjoon's phone, watching a music video of some American rapper from what Taehyung could tell from the upside down image.

Sitting down beside Hoseok, he pulled out his own phone, snuggling into the elder's side. Jimin had sent him seven or eight of the selca's he and Jungkook had been taking, their faces puckered up while Seokjin slept in the background with mouth open. Taehyung chuckled and saved the photos to his phone.

"Alright nerds, I look beautiful. We're good to go." Yoongi walked out into the hall, poking Seokjin in the forehead.

The eldest sat up with a cough, looking around sleepily for a moment before shaking his head and standing. Jungkook and Jimin stood up quickly, guilty smiles on their faces. The rest of the group got to their feet, Hoseok offering a hand to Taehyung, who took it despite protests of "I can stand on my own hyung..." Their manager appeared and the seven walked to the stage. The set for their latest comeback was simple, but Taehyung liked it; it fit perfectly with their concept without being distracting.

They greeted their fans and thanked them for coming to support them before beginning the rehearsals. Getting into the opening pose as the lights dimmed, Taehyung took a deep breath and the last niggling doubts slip away. This is what he was born to do. The opening chord struck and he slipped into the familiar motions until a stage light flickered and the dance was called to a halt. He stood panting slightly as the stage team scurried around trying to figure out what had gone wrong.

To his left, Hoseok and Jimin were discussing what he assumed was the choreography. Namjoon was pacing and muttering his lines and Jungkook was bouncing on his toes, sequins on his shirt catching in the lights. Taehyung waved to the fans and flashed them a grin. The responding cheers and frenzied waving of ARMY Bombs made him smile again.

"It's fixed, lets try again." Namjoon's voice crackled on his in-ear. The others gathered again and the lights dimmed for the second time.

The second time the music stopped because Jin sneezed and the PD said they could see it in the back of the shot. They got through the dance fully the third time, gaining motivation and energy from the fanchants. Taehyung felt focused and in control. His steps were perfect and his voice hadn't wavered once even with all the crying he'd done in the past few days. He was back on track.

The PD asked them to go through the final part of the dance so that the camera angles could be polished. Halfway through the final refrain, Namjoon took a wrong step. He recovered quickly, but had stepped in front of Taehyung. Temporarily jolted out of his focus, Taehyung stepped out of time, almost stumbling to his knees.

The music cut off and Taehyung regained his balance. He shook his head to refocus and met Hoseok's questioning gaze steadily. "I'm fine. Let's go again."

"Sorry Tae, that was my fault." Namjoon's voice was contrite.

"It's alright hyung, let's just go again." Taehyung clenched his jaw. He wouldn't lose his focus from one little mistake. He was okay. It was just one mistake.

The music started again. They got through the song without any other mistakes and were sent back offstage to have their makeup retouched.

Taehyung sagged against a wall after having his hair fixed. Closing his eyes he took deep breaths and tried to will down the anxiety. He would be fine, everything would be fine. It was just one mistake. The sound of a sigh next to him made him open his eyes. He looked over to see Jungkook leaning on the wall next to him.

The younger gave him a lopsided smile. "Doing okay hyung?" Taehyung nodded, lips pursed. Scooting closer and keeping his eyes fixed somewhere around Taehyung's shoes, Jungkook reached over and laced their fingers together.

"You'll be okay." He rubbed his thumb across the back of Taehyung's hand. "You're a great dancer and singer. One mistake won't define you, and it was just practice. You did the rest of it perfectly."

Taehyung scoffed and Jungkook frowned. "You know I look up to you right? You have an amazing voice and you have the most amazing stage presence. I wish I could be as charismatic as you. Plus then you come off stage and you're so happy and encouraging. You make everyone smile and you manage to have pretty much every fan out there at least thirsting over you a little bit. I wish I could do that."

Jungkook smiled at Taehyung and squeezed his hand. "Plus, if the fans are going to say anything, they have to go through me first." He flexed his other arm and Taehyung chuckled.

"Thanks Jungkookie." He squeezed the younger's hand back. "Can we just stay here until everyone else is ready?"

Jungkook shuffled closer until their shoulders brushed. "I'm not going anywhere." He leaned his head on Taehyung's shoulder gently and the two stood there quietly until Yoongi called for them to join them back on stage for the real recording.

As they took their positions and the lights faded out once again, Taehyung felt Jungkook reach out and give his hand one last squeeze. He looked out at the sparkling lights and took a deep breath. The music washed over him. This is what he was meant to do.

Chapter Text

Taehyung was sitting on the couch when Yoongi came and sat beside him. Most of the other members had gone to their rooms and most of the lights were off. Taehyung was curled in a ball looking at his phone but shuffled over to snuggle next to Yoongi when the elder sat down. Yoongi’s hand came down to play with his hair and Taehyung leaned into the touch.

“I know you’ve been going through some stuff kid,” Yoongi’s voice was gentle. “and I just want to tell you that I’m always here to talk to.” His fingers combed through Taehyung’s hair and Taehyung closed his eyes, snuggling closer.

“You’re strong. You take everything the world throws at you and you keep going with that giant wonderful smile on your face.”

Yoongi pressed a soft kiss to the top of Taehyung’s head. His knee was poking into Taehyung’s stomach and Taehyung shifted to try find a position that didn’t involve endangering any of his internal organs. Yoongi wrapped his arm around Taehyung’s shoulder and wiggled to pull the younger between his legs so Taehyung’s back was resting against his chest. Taehyung nuzzled his head into the crook of Yoongi’s neck and hummed happily.

“Hyung you smell good.”

Yoongi chuckled. He wrapped his arms around Taehyung’s stomach and pulled Taehyung’s hands with him, lacing their fingers together. Turning his head, he kissed Taehyung’s ear and Taehyung giggled, shivering a little.

“That tickles! Ah Yoongi-hyung stop!” Taehyung twisted in Yoongi’s arms, trying to pull his face away from the elder’s kisses. Finally relenting, he sagged against Yoongi’s shoulder again. The rapper laughed softly before pressing one final kiss to Taehyung’s temple.

“You’re cute Taehyungie.”

Taehyung flushed; he loved getting compliments from his hyungs, especially Yoongi, who didn’t always want to crack that “bad boy” image he’d developed even though Taehyung knew he was probably the softest of all his hyungs.

“Hyung I’m hungry.” Taehyung pouted and tilted his head back so he could look Yoongi in the face, hitting him with the puppy eyes in full force.

Yoongi sighed. “You’re not being fair; you know I can’t resist that.” He untangled his fingers from Taehyung’s and poked him in the stomach. “Fine. We can go to the convenience store on the corner but we have to be quick or Jin will kill me later.”

“Yes!” Taehyung was off the couch in an instant, his socks padding on the floor as he ran to get his coat. He turned to see Yoongi sitting on the couch where he’d left him, a faint smile on his face. “Hyung what is it? C’mon!”

“Ah nothing. I’m fine.” Yoongi stood. “Just let me get my coat and we can go.”

They pulled their shoes on at the door and stepped outside. The March night was chilly and there was a faint breeze. Taehyung shivered for a moment before turning towards the corner.

“I’m hungry, let’s goooo…” He grabbed Yoongi’s hand and pulled him forward. Yoongi stumbled for a moment but Taehyung’s grip kept him upright and he followed the younger.

“Curse you and your giraffe legs Kim Taehyung.” Yoongi huffed as he was pulled along. Taehyung stopped abruptly and Yoongi almost bumped into his back. “Geez, warn me next time kid.” He grumbled.

“Sorry hyung. C’mon, we’re here.” They walked inside, bell above the door chiming. Some new pop hit was playing over the tinny speakers, Taehyung thought it might be Gfriend, but he wasn’t completely up to date on recent comebacks of other groups. He followed Yoongi to where the elder was pulling two containers of instant ramen off the shelf.

Yoongi bought their food, the cashier smiling shyly, and they sat at the back of the store, as far from the windows as they could be. It was unlikely that too many people would walk by at a little past midnight and recognize one of them, but Taehyung knew Yoongi never liked to take chances.

They sat quietly, aside from the slurping of their noodles and Yoongi’s progressively more exasperated sighs as Taehyung continued to steal his pickled radish every time he tried to take a bite. Each time, Taehyung grinned at him and fluttered his eyelashes and Yoongi rolled his eyes before returning to his noodles.

Suddenly Yoongi sat up, his eyes wide and fixed on the ceiling. “Is that-?”

Their latest hit bounced off the walls cheerfully and Taehyung laughed. He made to get out of his seat and Yoongi grabbed his arm.

“No dramatic dancing.”

Taehyung pouted and Yoongi shot him a glare.

“I don’t care how cute you are Kim Taehyung, if you start dancing in the middle of this 7-11 I will kick your ass right in front of that cashier. Now c’mon, we’re going.” He picked up their containers and threw them away, popping the last piece of radish in his mouth.

Taehyung giggled. “You just don’t like hearing our songs in public.”

“You’re damn right.” Yoongi started walking towards the door.

“Aw hyung so cute!” Taehyung caught up to Yoongi and slung his arm over the elder’s shoulder, pulling him into the side of his body. Yoongi scowled and wiggled out of his grip.

“I. Am. Not. Cute.” Each word was punctuated with a half-hearted punch to Taehyung’s side. “Yah Kim Taehyung let me go!” Taehyung caught him in a headlock and swung him around laughing.

He released him and Yoongi glared at him before dashing around behind Taehyung and launching himself onto the younger’s back. “As payback, you have to carry me home.” He wrapped his arms around Taehyung’s neck and snuggled into his back. Taehyung hiked Yoongi’s legs further up and ran towards the dorm building with a whoop.

It was almost one in the morning and he didn’t really care if anyone saw them at the moment. Yoongi’s laughter was breathless in his ear and he reached the door panting. He pulled out his key and let them back into the building, ducking to make sure Yoongi didn’t bang his head on the doorframe. Taehyung walked into the living area before spinning around and flopping on top of Yoongi on the couch.

“I’m gonna kill you one day, and nobody will ever find your body.” Yoongi groaned and Taehyung rolled off him with a giggle.

“No you won’t, I’m too cute!” He cupped his face in his hands and gave Yoongi his most dazzling grin. “Look at me. I’m adorable!”

“Yeah you keep thinking that, kid.” But Yoongi was grinning. “C’mon it’s late we need to get to bed.” He poked Taehyung in the side as he crawled off the couch and tossed his shoes towards the door before padding to the bathroom.

Taehyung scrambled off the couch and caught up to Yoongi, enveloping him in a hug and dropping his chin on Yoongi’s shoulder.

“Thanks for always being there for me Yoongi-hyung.”

Yoongi turned in Taehyung’s arms and wrapped his arms around Taehyung’s waist. “Don’t mention it.” He squeezed Taehyung until the younger squeaked and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Now seriously, we need to get to bed.”

Chapter Text

“Guess who has the evening off?” Jungkook danced into the room the next morning.

Across the room from Taehyung, Jimin sat up. “Seriously?”

“No I lied, aliens are abducting us because our latest comeback was so great and they want us to perform in space.” Jungkook rolled his eyes. “Yes, seriously.”

Hoseok let out a delighted screech from his bunk and Jimin crawled out of bed, giving Jungkook a swat as he made his way to the bathroom. “If I wasn’t as happy as I am about this, I’d beat you up Kookie.”

“Love you too~!” Jungkook grinned at Jimin’s retreating back before turning and plopping on Taehyung’s bed. “Hi!”

Taehyung yawned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “Morning, Kook.”

“Sleep well?”

Taehyung gave him a warm smile. “Yeah, I did.” He rolled out from under the covers and stood up stretching. “C’mon lets go find some breakfast.”

***

“Good news everybody!” Their choreographer said after a few hours of dance practice. Taehyung looked over from where he was flopped on the couch against the side wall. “You’ve worked hard today so we’re done here until tomorrow. Go back to the dorms and get some rest, you deserve it!”

Hoseok plopped down on the end of the couch and tickled Taehyung’s leg. “Great job today Tae! You really nailed that move that was giving you trouble the other day.” He gave Taehyung his signature megawatt smile. “I’m proud of youuu~” he cooed and Taehyung kicked him softly, trying to hide his pleased smile and pink face.

“Thanks Hoseokie hyung.”

“C’mon I want to shower!” Yoongi came over to the couch, ruffling Hoseok’s sweat-damp hair before reaching to pull Taehyung off the couch.

“How come I don’t get a hand?” Hoseok whined, flopping over and pouting at Yoongi.

“You’re not cute enough.” Yoongi intoned, face expressionless, and Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh at the affronted expression on Hoseok’s face.

“I’m plenty cute!” Hoseok huffed before heaving himself off the couch and tugging at Yoongi’s hair. “Taehyungie is pretty cute though~” he pinched Taehyung’s cheek and danced away from both swats aimed in his direction.

“Race you to the van!” Jungkook skidded by, slapping Taehyung’s butt as he passed.

“You’re on!” Taehyung unhooked himself from Yoongi’s arm and dashed after him. They clattered down the stairs and dashed out the front doors, thumping into the side of the van at the same time and bursting into laughter.

“Now I’m really tired.” Taehyung gasped out between breaths.

Jungkook pushed his hair out of his face, chest heaving. “Getting old?” He smirked at Taehyung and Taehyung kicked halfheartedly at his shin.

“Four hours of dance practice and you two still manage to race to the van at the speed of light.” Seokjin laughed as the rest of the group exited the building. “Oh to be young again.”

“Yeah cause you’re SO old.” Namjoon laughed.

Seokjin stuck his tongue out him. “I am an ancient and wise being.” Yoongi snorted and dodged the offended kick from the elder.

“I don’t know about you guys, but the less time I spend in these gross practice clothes, the happier I’ll be.” The rapper opened the van door and climbed in.

“He’s right, let’s get back and shower.” Hoseok climbed into the van behind Yoongi, followed by Jimin.

***

“What do you guys want to eat?” Seokjin asked as everyone gathered in the common area, clean and damp-haired.

“We haven’t ordered from that Chinese place on the next block in a while.” Namjoon remarked. “How does that sound?”

“I’m in!” Jimin said and the rest of the members chimed in in agreement.

“That’s settled then, I’ll call them.” Seokjin gave his order to the person on the other end. “Tae what do you want?”

Taehyung gave Seokjin his order, which the eldest relayed, and then leaned back to watch everyone else clamor over who would order next. The order was placed without anyone murdering anyone else, so the seven settled down onto the couches to wait.

After the food had been paid for and everyone had returned to the couches, the question of what to watch emerged.

“1000 won Jin hyung says The Matrix.” Jimin muttered from where he was lying with his head in Hoseok’s lap. Taehyung giggled.

“You know what it’s a quality film and some of you,” Seokjin eyed Taehyung, “haven’t seen it!” He pressed a hand to his forehead dramatically. “All I’m doing is trying to educate you children and expose you to good movies and what do I get in return? Slander and teasing.” He sighed and they all laughed.

“Why don’t we watch it then?” Taehyung asked from where he was snuggled into Seokjin’s side, Hoseok’s fingers carding through his hair.

“Do you really want to?” Seokjin asked, pulling his hand away from his eyes.

Taehyung smiled. “Yeah why not? Open my eyes to great cinema!”

Seokjin laughed and squeezed Taehyung’s hand.

“Did you guys plan all this?” Taehyung looked up at Seokjin as the opening logos faded away. "The evening off and food and a movie?"

“Maybe.” Seokjin smiled softly down at him.

“Yes. Ow!” Jungkook pouted at Yoongi. “Don’t poke me hyung, I’m too cute to poke!”

Yoongi laughed. “Your puppy eyes won’t work on me Kook, I’ve become immune.”

“Taehyung can get away with it though!”

“Yeah well are you Tae, Jungkookie?”

Jungkook pouted and Taehyung could see Yoongi crack as he reached over to pet Jungkook’s hair.

“Shhhh, it’s starting!” Namjoon waved his hand around, almost knocking Jimin’s legs to the floor, and they quieted down.

Taehyung looked around the room, at his bandmates all curled together, faces illuminated by the screen’s glow. These were the people he loved the most in the world. With them, he could face anything. He snuggled closer to Seokjin and tangled his fingers with Hoseok’s.

“Guys?”

Seokjin paused the movie and the others looked at him.

Taehyung blushed and ducked his head. “I just wanted to say thank you for everything you’ve done to help me feel better. Sometimes everything just gets to me and it’s hard to see the good parts, but you guys always help me with that, so I wanted to say thank you and I love you guys.” He grinned at them shyly.

“Aww Taehyungie we love you too!” Jimin smiled up at him fondly from across Hoseok’s lap and the others echoed the sentiment. Seokjin kissed his hair and he snuggled back into the couch, feeling lighter and happier than he had in a while. This was his family and he wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.