Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

JJ knew something was wrong from the moment her footsteps made no sound.

She was moving through a strange hallway like she’d been dropped into someone else’s dream. The place looked nice, it was fancily decorated, the lights were dim, and the air felt thick with a feeling that didn’t belong to her. Voices echoed faintly from the next room, but none of them acknowledged her. It was like being a ghost inside someone else’s life.

She heard a woman’s voice, it was sharp, demanding, and JJ’s stomach dropped with a fear so immediate she knew it couldn't be her own. She didn’t know why she recognized it. She didn’t know why it felt like she had forgotten how to breathe.

Then she saw her.

Not Emily now.
A younger Emily, her shoulders were tense, her eyes wide with a fear JJ had never witnessed on her face before. She stood frozen by the doorway as a man shouted from the shadows behind her.

JJ tried to move toward her, to call her name, to do anything, but it was like she didn't exist. The world began to fade around her, then, Emily’s younger self finally looked up, locking eyes with JJ.

JJ's fear intensified so drastically she didn't realize she was still holding her breath.

She blinked.

And woke up in her own bed, drenched in sweat, Emily’s fear still going through her like it had been there all along.

Chapter Text

JJ woke up covered in sweat, gasping. For a second, she didn't know where she was. She tried to take a deep breath and remind herself it was just a nightmare. But her heart was still beating fast. Too fast to pretend nothing happened

She sat up slowly, pressing the back of her hands into her eyes. The room was too quiet, and somehow that made everything worse. Because nothing about what she’d just seen felt normal. The fear of her dream was still growing inside of her. She let out a shaky breath and checked her phone. No missed calls, no texts, no emergencies, everything was... "fine".

JJ pushed herself out of bed and walked to the bathroom. The lights were too bright she felt disoriented. Her reflection was a mess, she was tired. She splashed cold water on her face and waited for something in her body to calm down.

It didn’t.

She tied her hair back, trying to fix her appearance. Then she practiced a neutral face in the mirror. It wasn’t perfect. But it would work.

When she stepped into the kitchen, Will was already there, leaning against the counter while the coffee maker steamed behind him. He looked up at her with that soft, familiar concern, the kind that usually made her feel safe. Today it just made her stomach twist.

“Hey,” he said. “You okay? You look… tired.”

JJ forced a small smile. “I’m fine. Just didn’t sleep well.”

Will crossed the room and brushed her arm with his hand. It was a light touch, gentle, but JJ flinched before she could stop herself. His hand paused. “Hey. Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” she said quickly. Too quickly. “Just—bad dreams. It’s nothing.”

He didn’t fully believe it. She could see that in his eyes, but he nodded anyway. He trusted her.

They went through the rest of the morning quietly. Will handed her a travel mug. JJ thanked him. She kissed him goodbye, the kind of kiss you give out of habit, not love. Something inside her twisted again, and she didn’t know if it was guilt or confusion or the fear she couldn't get rid of.

Probably all three.

The drive to Quantico felt longer than usual. JJ kept zoning out at stoplights, unconsciously gripping the steering wheel every time she got a flashback of Emily's face. A car horn behind her snapped her out of her thoughts, and she whispered an apology no one could hear.

By the time she walked into the BAU, she’d pulled herself together just enough to pass for normal.

Then she saw Emily at the round table.

Emily looked… worn down. Exhausted. Her fingers were tapping against her coffee cup, an anxious rhythm JJ had only seen a few times, usually after terrible cases.

JJ stopped mid-step. The distant look in Emily's eyes lined up too perfectly with the memory JJ had woken up inside.

Her breath caught.

Emily’s gaze lifted, meeting JJ’s for half a second. Something flickered there. Uncertainty, maybe fear, before Emily replaced it with a practiced expression.

“Morning,” Emily said. Casual. Too casual.

JJ nodded. “Morning.”

She was about to step closer when Reid walked into the room. He didn’t look at her. He didn’t look at Emily. He walked past them both with that quiet coldness he’d perfected over the last few weeks.

JJ felt the guilt hit her like a punch.

Emily barely flinched, but JJ noticed the way her jaw tensed. Before anyone could speak, Hotch entered.

“Wheels up in thirty. We’ve got a case.”

Emily stood up from the round table a little too fast, her chair scraping loudly. She froze for half a second, her hands held the table for balance, subtle but not subtle enough for JJ to miss.

No one else noticed. Not Hotch, not Rossi, definitely not Reid, who still wouldn’t even look at either of them.

JJ forced herself to follow the team out of the room.

The jet was quiet when JJ climbed aboard. Everyone else had already claimed their usual seats. Reid was pretending the rest of them didn’t exist. Hotch was reading. Rossi looked half-asleep.

And Emily—

Emily was sitting near the window, looking completely zoned out. She looked tired. Not just physically, the kind of tired that comes from thinking too much for too long.

JJ hesitated before taking her seat across from her. It wasn’t even a choice, really. Her body just moved towards her like a magnet. Once she sat down, she tried to look anywhere else. The case file. The floor. Literally the ceiling.

Didn’t matter.

Her eyes kept drifting back to Emily.

Emily didn’t seem to notice at first. She kept her gaze fixed on the clouds, her finger gripping slightly on the armrest once again in that restless rhythm JJ knew too well.

JJ opened her mouth, ready to ask if she was okay when Emily finally glanced at her.

“Staring,” Emily said quietly, not unkindly. “Kind of rude, you know.”

Her voice wasn’t sharp. If anything… she sounded tired. Soft, almost.

JJ swallowed. “Sorry. Just… you look tired.”

Emily let out a weak huff of a laugh. “You’re one to talk.”

JJ gave her a small smile. “Yeah. Rough night.”

Emily’s eyes softened just enough to give JJ a déjà vu of her dream. A younger Emily, terrified, staring right at her.

For one split second, JJ could swear Emily was about to say something real. Something important. Something about what was happening to both of them.

Then Hotch cleared his throat at the front of the jet.

“Let’s get started.”

Emily shut down instantly. Her shoulders straightened, her face settling back into its usual seriousness.
JJ hated it more than she should.

But she kept her eyes on her.
And Emily didn’t look away this time.

 

The jet touched down in Oklahoma just after noon.

JJ was still thinking about the plane conversation when Hotch started assigning pairs.

“Dave, you and I will talk to the parents. Morgan and Prentiss go to the disposal sites. JJ, you and Reid to the abduction sites”

JJ nodded, not daring to say a single word

Reid didn’t nod. He didn’t even look in her direction.

He just started walking like she wasn’t even standing there.

"So Beth go off the bus here and headed northwest towards class"

"It's amazing none witnessed her abduction" JJ said trying to break the uncomfortable aura surrounding them

"Emily was buried six feet under and wound up in Paris. So I guess anything's possible, right?" he said sarcastically

"So that is what this is about-" she couldn't finish her sentence because Reid cut her off by rambling about the case

"Spence if you wanna talk-" he continued talking about the case purposely ignoring her

"Charm is a killer" JJ said to his observations

"So are tears" he said before walking back to the station.

JJ swallowed and followed him, the awkwardness practically smacking her in the face.
That was it.

At the crime scene, Morgan and Prentiss analyzed the disposal site while the local detective filled them in on new details.

Hotch and Rossi started interviewing the victim’s parents.

And JJ… JJ tried to focus. She really did. But her mind kept drifting.

Not to Will. Not to the case.

Straight back to Emily.

Because Emily, paired with Morgan for the day, kept slipping out of JJ's sight. She wondered if Emily felt anything on her end. She didn’t dare ask.

By the time the sun started to set, they’d moved to the sheriff’s department to regroup.

The map was spread across the table, the photos pinned to the boards, and files were open everywhere.

Emily leaned over the evidence table, rubbing her temples with the tips of her fingers like she was fighting off a headache. JJ walked past her, trying not to look too long.
She failed.

Emily noticed. Of course she did, she looked away quickly, like eye contact might set something on fire between them.

They didn’t find the unsub that night. Which meant hotels.

“Alright,” Hotch said to the team as they filed back outside. “Get some sleep. We’ll start again first thing tomorrow.”

JJ walked with Emily and Morgan as they headed toward the cars. Emily kept her arms crossed tightly over her chest, the wind playing with her hair.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Morgan said to her.

Emily shrugged. “Long day.”

Morgan gave her a look that said liar but didn’t push.

JJ watched her in the dark. Emily looked frayed, worn in a way JJ hadn’t seen since… before Paris.

JJ felt that same weird pull in her chest. Like someone was tugging on a thread that connected them, even if JJ didn’t understand how or why.

Emily glanced at her. Just for a second, enough for JJ to know she felt something too.

She didn’t say a word.

Just got into the backseat of the SUV and stared out the window.

JJ looked away before she could stare again.

 

The check-in was quick.

Hotch handed out the keys. Everyone said their goodnights and headed to the elevator.

Reid was still ignoring her.

JJ took her room key and headed toward the elevator, Emily a few steps ahead.

Emily’s shoulders were still tense. Her steps were slow.

JJ wanted to say something. Anything, but the elevator doors opened, and the moment slipped away.

She stepped into her room, closed the door, and leaned against it for a second.

This wasn’t over.

Whatever was happening between them…

It was only getting stronger.

Chapter Text

Emily wasn’t dreaming.

At least, it didn’t feel like a dream.

One second she was asleep in the Oklahoma hotel bed, and the next she was standing in a kitchen she had never set foot in before. Floral wallpaper decorated the walls and a dim light gave it a hint of yellow.

A girl sat at the table.

Her blonde hair was pulled into a messy ponytail. Her hands folded in her lap, she looked frightened.

She couldn’t have been more than fifteen.

Emily knew her instantly.

JJ.

But younger. So much younger it made Emily’s chest tighten.

The woman pacing in front of her was clearly JJ’s mom. The resemblance was obvious. Same eyes. Same jaw. But colder.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately,” she snapped, not even looking at JJ. “You’ve been impossible.”

“I just miss her,” teenage JJ whispered. “I’m trying, Mom. I swear I’m trying.”

“Well, you’re doing a hell of a job anyway,” her mother said, harshly grabbing a cup from the cupboard. “I swear, you’re nothing like your sister. Roslyn never made everything so—”

She cut herself off, shaking her head sharply.

JJ stared at the table.

Emily felt her stomach drop.

Her mother kept talking, her voice was sharp enough to cut her skin. “Backtalk. Attitude. Sneaking around doing god knows what. Roslyn would’ve—” She stopped again and sighed. “Sometimes I think… if Roslyn were here instead…”

JJ’s breath hitched.

“At least she wasn’t a—”

Silence.

A brutal, heavy silence.

JJ didn’t move. Didn’t speak. She didn’t even blink.

But her face... It crumpled the way only a teenager’s can. Quiet, rehearsed, like she was used to swallowing every hurt before anyone could see it.

JJ lifted her head slightly. And looked straight toward where Emily was standing. Like she could feel someone watching.

Emily tried to reach out but everything faded.

Emily almost jumped out her hotel bed, her heart was beating so fast she swore she could hear it, the bedsheets were damp in sweat.

She grabbed her phone.

7:12 a.m.

“Shit.”

She got out of bed too fast, steadying herself on the mattress when the room tilted for a second. Her palms were sweating. Her head hurt.

That wasn’t a nightmare.

Emily forced herself to breathe, to focus, to function. She didn’t have time to fall apart. Not here, not now, not when JJ—

Her chest tightened again.

“No,” she muttered to herself. “Not going there.”

She pushed away the images, shoved every emotion into the same box where she kept all the things she didn’t deal with. Then she took a quick shower, fixed her hair, and put on some clothes.

She was stuffing her gun into her waistband when—

Knock. Knock.

Emily froze.

“Em?” JJ’s voice floated through the door. Soft. Careful. “I brought your coffee.”

Of course she did.

Emily double checked that she looked good before opening the door.

JJ stood there, holding two cups, hair slightly messy from sleep and looking… concerned. Of course she was concerned. JJ cared about everyone. It wasn’t special.

Except it felt special. Which pissed Emily off a little.

Emily swallowed hard. “Hey.”

JJ blinked at her state. “You okay?”

A simple question, but her voice was softer than usual.

Emily hated how much that did to her.

“I overslept,” Emily said. “That’s all.”

JJ didn’t believe her. But she didn’t push.

She held out the coffee. “Thought you’d want this. You always drank it in Par—”

She stopped.

Emily’s heart spiked.

JJ cleared her throat. “I mean, before. Before everything.”

Emily took the cup carefully, their fingers brushing for a second too long. She felt the spark instantly. It was stupid, juvenile, dangerous, too dangerous.

JJ felt it too. Her eyes flicked up, meeting Emily’s, and something unspoken moved between them.

JJ stepped back first, forcing a smile. “Hotch wants us downstairs.”

Emily nodded. "Yeah. Right"

The walk to the elevator was quiet. Emily kept her eyes forward, not daring to look at JJ.

Because every time JJ stepped too close or breathed too softly or even existed in the same radius, the same strange, tight pull hit Emily right in the center of her chest.

It wasn’t new.

But it was definitely getting worse.

The team was already gathered for breakfast when they entered. Reid gave Emily a quick glance before pretending to ignore her presence. She still hadn’t said anything to him about what he’d said when she came back from the dead. He clearly hadn’t forgotten.

Morgan nodded at her, but even he looked like he knew something was off.

JJ sat across from Emily.

And when JJ started talking about the case… Emily stopped hearing the words. She just watched her mouth move. Watched the way her fingers tap lightly on the table.

Something inside Emily twisted.

And for one split second—
one tiny, stupid second—

Emily wondered what it would be like to tell JJ the truth.

Paris.

The phone calls.

The nights she didn’t sleep unless she heard JJ’s voice.

The way she’d memorized it.

The way it kept her alive.

She shut it down fast.

Later.

Never.

Something between those.

Hotch called them to the sheriff office for day two of the case, and Emily stood up quickly.

She needed distance.

JJ didn’t give her any.

“Emily wait—”

Emily froze, which she hated, because freezing meant feeling.

JJ stepped close. Not touching, but close enough that Emily felt it.

“You sure you’re okay?” JJ asked softly.

Emily forced a breath. “I’m fine, JJ.”

“You don’t look fine.”

Emily swallowed. “Neither do you.”

That shut JJ up.

They stared at each other for a beat too long. Maybe two.

Then Emily stepped away before she did something stupid.

 

At the sheriff’s office, Emily tried to focus. She really did. But her head was a mess, and every time she blinked she saw fifteen year old JJ staring at her with those devastated eyes.

“Earth to Prentiss.”

Emily blinked.

Morgan was looking at her. “You good?”

She forced a nod. “Long night.”

He didn’t buy it, but he let it slide.

Across the room, JJ was pinning photos on the evidence board. She looked focused, her hair was falling into her face as she worked.

Emily felt that same feeling on her chest. The one she’d been ignoring for seven years.

She turned back to the files.

The case was unraveling fast. Too fast. Three girls, behavior patterns didn’t match kidnapping for ransom, sexual motive, or thrill killing.

It was personal.

Emily interviewed the uncle with Morgan. His answers were rehearsed, too smooth, like someone trying very hard to sound helpful.
When they walked out, Emily said quietly, “He’s lying.”

Morgan glanced over. “You sure?”

“Yes.” She rubbed her forehead. “He inserted himself too early. And his timeline is off.”

Morgan nodded slowly. “Alright. Let’s push it.”

The moment they confronted him with inconsistencies, he ran.

Morgan took off first. Emily followed. They chased him down a dirt road toward the edge of a field where he’d dumped the other girls.

When he grabbed his niece, alive but terrified, Emily raised her gun.

“Let her go!” she shouted.

He hesitated.

Morgan tackled him. Emily grabbed the girl and pulled her close, whispering something to calm her.

By sunset, they had everyone back at the sheriff’s office. Family reunited. Unsub in custody. Case closed.

Emily's gaze found JJ across the room— already looking at her.

JJ didn’t look away.

Emily didn’t either.

Just for a second.

The jet home was smooth, quiet.

Most of the team settled into their usual seats, exhausted. For once, the only empty spots were two seats side by side.

Emily paused.

JJ hesitated.

And they sat next to each other without speaking.

The lights dimmed as they took off. Files lay on the table in front of them. JJ pressed her fingers to her temple, tired.

“You okay?” Emily asked before she could stop herself.

JJ let out a small breath. “Just tired.”

Emily nodded.

Then JJ looked at her. Really looked at her. “Do you still get headaches on flights?”

Emily’s pulse jumped. “Sometimes.”

JJ glanced down at her hands. “You used to get them a lot. In—”

She stopped again.

Emily turned her head. “Paris.”

The word hung in the air like something sharp.

JJ swallowed. “Yeah.”

They didn’t talk after that. They didn’t need to.

Halfway through the flight, JJ drifted sideways and fell asleep. Her shoulder brushed Emily’s lightly.

Emily should’ve moved away.

She didn’t.

She sat perfectly still, afraid to breathe too deeply, afraid to feel too much, afraid of how natural it felt having JJ pressed against her side.

Emily looked down at her.

And finally, silently, admitted the truth she’d buried for years.

She’d been in trouble long before Paris.

And she’d never stopped being in trouble since.