Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Rey stands voice frozen at the back of her throat by the power that connects them all and extends a sun-kissed arm sculpted by hunger and hard work, her eyes pleading with the man to accept the weapon. His face is etched with line and concern.

“Take it off me. I’m not the one they need. Not the one they want,” she seems to tell him.

The Jedi Master stays silent, and for minutes that appear to last a thousand lifetimes, his pale blue eyes move from the lightsaber he recognized as his to the juvenile features of the girl who appeared in front of him.

“Keep it for now,” he eventually rasps, inviting her to put the relic of a past life back in her bag.

“Let me show you where you’ll sleep tonight.”

The wind whips at her face as she follows him along the jagged, rocky path. He’s old, but his stride is assured, his steps as strong as hers.

She doesn’t know how to address him, so she stays silent.

“I won’t be your Master, ” he says as if he heard her as clearly as the cries of the seabirds that nest on the cliff.

“Call me Luke.”

“Luke,” she repeats incredulous, her mind still shrouded by emotion and doubt. “I am…”

“Rey,” he cuts her.

“Do you know me?” she exclaims, her voice betraying hopes this man of legends might possess information about her family.

“I have seen you. You looked different, but he called your name.”

Cold suddenly bites at her neck, and she can’t tell if it’s the wind charged with the smell of the ocean or a shadow cast on her heart. It seems there’s something the old Jedi is hiding, but she’s too afraid to ask.

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Luke Skywalker told her he would not be her master.

He made too many mistakes, has too many regrets. The Jedi are no more, and the old warrior isn’t sure they will ever be again. But she’s not alone; he will show her the path, share his knowledge and whatever little wisdom he has left that has not been eroded by time and the wind on Ahch-To; which according to him isn’t much.

She doesn’t have a choice, so she just nods and follows him to the huts he claimed as home. The structure resembles a hive and comprises a series of stone igloos. Luke says that she can choose any of the empty huts and make it her own for the time being, that she can select the one that feels right to her. She doesn’t need to ask for more details to know what he’s talking about - He wants her to see with the Force rather than her eyes.

Soon after he offers her to share a meal. He even apologizes. “It’s not much, ” he says, just a simple stew made from vegetables from a small patch of the garden he tends to. He didn’t expect her to devour three bowls filled to the brim before he's done with his first. At first, she doesn’t even notice when he stops eating to watch her. When she takes her eyes off the food and see him smiling at her, her cheeks turn pink.

“It’s delicious.”

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The mist escaping his bloodied lips is the only reminder he’s alive - Here at the heart of the First Order the black marble floor is as cold as the snowy surface of Starkiller base, and his lungs burn from the simple act of breathing.

The girl took everything from him: his legacy, his pride, his shame. She has seen them all, knows them all.

So far, no matter how hard they hit, how harsh their words ring to his ears, no amount of physical exertion and training has helped getting rid of her image since he came out of the bacta tank. If the notion weren't preposterous he would believe that her figure is burnt forever at the surface of his iris - Every time he closes his eyes, it’s her he sees.

What would he do, what would he sacrifice to get rid of the memory of her? Scratching his eyeballs would be a start, but the Supreme Leader has no use for a blind apprentice so instead he battles his Knights until he loses consciousness.

“Come on!” he whizzes at his adversary, a silhouette nearly as tall as him, cloaked in darkness. “We’re not done yet.”

The man - because it is a man made of flesh and bones under the frightful armor - leaps, his massive looking club ready to fall on his Master’s head.

“Enough” a powerful voice echoes under the dome. It is as commanding as it is frightening and both warriors freeze like paused holograms.

“Come to me Kylo Ren.” the voice orders. “It is time.”

As he rises up on his elbows, Ren spits a mouthful of blood mixed with saliva and smiles.

Maybe this time the Supreme leader will make her go away for good.

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“You’re a kriffing lunatic if you think I’m going to do that.”

The old man slaps a metal hand on his knee and lets a heavy sigh escape his lips.

“I understand why you have reservations Rey but I’m asking you to trust me. You’ve already pushed him off once. You’re more than capable warding your mind from Ben.”

“His name is Kylo Ren,” she cuts him curtly, evidently displeased by the suggestion. “And I don’t understand why you believe he will open up to me.”

The Jedi stays silent, his eyes riveted on her, an enigmatic smile pinned on his face.

“What are you afraid of?”

“Nothing!” the young woman responds without even thinking about it.

“Good. Follow me then.”

Rey shoots a suspicious glance at the mischievous man as he gets up and leaves the hut where they were enjoying their supper.

She doesn’t know it yet, but she’s changed since she landed on Ahch-To a month ago. Regular meals and exercise brought curves to parts of her body she never really paid attention to before. Her skin is starting to lose its copper tone, but her cheeks are full and rosy, looking more lively than ever.

Before she realizes it, she’s following Luke down the trail. The sun is setting, clouds dancing aflame in the sky.

“I want to show you something,” he declares. “Ben never had dreams of this place. He wasn’t destined to discover it. That’s why he needed you. But now that he had a peak at your memories it won’t take long before he finds us.”

Rey is about to ask the thousand of questions she held close to her chest until now when comes a rumble from beneath the earth and a wide crack appears in a rock in front of them.

“This is where you were meant to come Rey.”

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Rey’s knees and hands are bruised and scraped from crawling the stone bowels of the first Jedi temple on all fours. How long since Luke sealed her off? It seems like a lifetime already.

The passages she follows are narrow and sinuous; they slither deep underground, but there is so much Light she only needs to sense the Force to navigate. There is warmth instead of the cold and dampness she expected. A heartbeat too - The reverberation of her own heart bouncing endlessly on the walls of the gallery she assumes.

As she reaches what looks like a dead end, she pauses to catch her breath. A part of her wishes to never stop looking, to claw her way further and further until she finds out the origin of her longing.

Whatever she’s meant to discover it is within her.

She closes her eyes and listens to the pulse until she slips inside herself.

She dreams.

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Rey awakens. The stone bowels of the first Jedi temple are no more - Replaced by the glittering constellation of stalactites hanging from the cavernous ceiling of a grotto she has no memory of ever visiting before.

How long did she sleep and when did Luke join her, she wonders as she notices that a campfire has been lit up to keep her warm and a stew is simmering in a stoneware pot, wafting a delicate aroma of spices.

“Why are we here?” a masculine voice inquires.

There is no kindness, only bitterness in those icy words delivered through a modulator and Rey’s hand automatically flies to her side where the blaster Han Solo gifted her is resting, the weapon she’d carried since Takodana - Except today it’s gone!

“Have you not persecuted and degraded me enough?” the voice adds between gritted teeth.

Fully alert now, Rey shoots a ferocious glance in the direction of Kylo Ren who is sitting opposite her by the fire. She’s not scared anymore by the creature in a mask and has no intention to be intimidated.

“What am I doing here? What have you done with my weapons?” she asks, her voice steady and defiant.

“You don’t need weapons here,” Kylo Ren responds almost casually before adding “The old man tricked you, didn’t he? You have no clue about this place, do you?”

“Where is Luke?” she demands, trying to hide her confusion the best as she can. If he thinks he can trick her, he’s mistaken.

The masked knight’s brutal laugh bounces on the surfaces of the cavern. “An excellent question! One I have been asking myself for a long time.”

There is something unsettling about the way her enemy sits opposite her, his mask reflecting the blazes and projecting diamonds of lights on the walls.

“What am I doing here? What do you want from me?” she asks, observing Ren’s tall figure rising from his seat. The man starts pacing like a rancor trapped in the tiniest cage.

“The real question is what am I still doing here? I should not be here. You managed to call me.”

Rey’s frown intensify. “I certainly didn’t call for you if that’s what you’re implying.”

“Oh, didn’t you? So why am I talking to you?”

“You were there before I even woke up!” she remarks.

The Dark side user pauses and looks skyward with his back turned to her, as if marveling at the formidable shadow his figure casts on the cavity wall, and for a moment Rey wonders if she should whack him with the pot.

“It is true. Maybe you didn’t call to me after all. Maybe I’ve always been there…” he goes on, oblivious to her violent intentions.

If she didn’t know better, she would believe the revelation genuinely saddens him.

“Are you going to explain what we’re doing here?” she asks harshly. Her patience is wearing thin, and stoneware is no decent weapon.

In a swift movement he crouches in front of her, so close his large frame is shielding her from the comfort of the burning fire.

“We’re in your realm here, you’re the queen, and I’m but your humble servant. Try to figure it yourself,” he snaps back. “I never intended to come back. I want you to release me of the lies.”

“Stop talking in riddles! And get rid of that stupid mask!” she orders. She’s tired of Force users speaking like the Universe is whispering secrets so heavy they can’t face the truth. The Force is a tool to her. It grants her power to face her fears. She’s Rey, and she’s a person, not a receptacle or a luggabeast to be burdened by a power too great to bear.

To her surprise, Ren obeys and unlatches the helmet.

“Satisfied?” he asks planting his burning eyes into hers.

Rey remains silent as she examines the scarred face of her foe. She’s the one who marked him, she remembers; and for a brief instant, it’s as if the campfire vacillates from a gush of wind.

Now that he’s so close to her she doesn’t know what to say or think. He looks so ordinary.

“So, what is it that your master wants?”. His harsh tone brings her back to reality.

“He’s not my master!” she responds without actually thinking about it as if the notion she belongs to someone is preposterous.

Ren smiles. “Of course he isn’t. You do his bidding, though. Just tell me what he wants to know and let me go. I’m tired of this place. I've had enough of you…”

“You’re more than welcome to leave,” she snaps back. “I certainly want nothing to do with you!”

“Liar.” Ren replies. It’s no accusation or reproach - A simple statement.

“I’m here because you want me to. You think I can come back and crawl to the Jedi. You’re confused, and so is Skywalker. He abandoned me long ago. I stopped waiting. Malachor takes him.”

A heavy sigh escapes her lips. There are so close to one another, having almost a casual conversation. How is it even possible? Why is it happening?

Then it clicks.

“You’re not here, are you? It’s just a dream, is it?”

The remark elicits a smile from Ren. “A part of me is always with you scavenger. You stole it, and now I want it back!” he adds sweetly, approaching his lips from hers before locking his gloved hands at her elbows and squeezing.

“Give it back!”

Electricity passes between the two of them and before she realizes it Rey is gasping for air on the hard floor of the temple.

She needs to get out! Luke owes her an explanation.

Chapter Text

Rey doesn’t know what to think anymore as she climbs in the top bunk.

Her  conversation with Luke a moment ago left her with more questions than answers and the only thing she wants right now is to have a good night sleep to forget about the Force, the Jedi and all this mumbo jumbo.

It’s not like being back aboard the Millennium Falcon  helps with her mood to be honest as everything in the old freighter reminds her of Han Solo.

She doesn’t want to admit it but she’s exhausted, both physically and mentally.

There’s one thing she’s happy about however, it’s that Chewbacca and Artoo are finally accompanying them in the journey. As much as she loves and respect Luke it’s a nice change to be able to discuss mechanics with the Wookie or to enjoy the sassy personality of the astromech rather than spending days meditating in silence.

Since she returned from the First Jedi temple, her mentor has been secretive. Distant even. It’s as if he’s too lost in his inner world to see that she needs a break, and above all an explanation.

Back on Ahch-To, all he replied after she grilled him was that it was too dangerous to stay, that Kylo Ren would soon come for them and they needed to protect the temple from the First Order. And tonight he didn’t make much more sense either...

She closes her eyes and counts to fifty the way she used to when she was scared of the howling winds of the Jakku desert, hoping to push the disturbing thoughts away.

“I’m not sure what happened. It wasn’t him. You met a part of Ben. That part you carry in you.”

Kriff! These are Luke’s words flooding her mind. She doesn’t want to think about that right now.

“The two of you are connected.”

She turns over to face the wall. She should not think of that. She doesn’t want to think about that.

“Silly scavenger.”

“You again?” She sighs before sitting up in the bed to glare at the intruder. Kylo Ren - or his manifestation as she understands it - is standing in the passageway. Can’t she even be at peace in her sleep?

“I thought you were tired of me?” she adds, visibly annoyed.

“I am. But you’re a thief and I want what is mine back!” he snaps.

“Believe me, if it’s your lightsaber you want I’d be more than happy to get rid of it. I’d dump it somewhere in a swamp and enjoy watching you crawling in the mud.”

The jest doesn’t seem to be to his taste as he steps closer with a menacing air. It’s silly but she can’t get over the fact  that he’s tall enough to look at her straight in the eyes even if she’s sitting in the top bunk. No doubt that she would recoil under his burning gaze if this was the real life, but she knows nothing is real here. It’s a dream, a fantasy.

“I see the old man taught you nothing.” He smirks.

“I see you got rid of the helmet.” She retorts, trying to keep control of the conversation.

His smile broadens. “I noticed you prefer me without it. I’m just a figment of your imagination remember. In your dreams I’m... very flexible.”

She shrugs. She’s not sure what is the most unsettling, the remark or the lopsided grin on his face. There’s something of both Han and Leia in this strange man, she can’t deny it, a combination of charm and elegance years of martial training never really managed to erase.

However if what he says he’s true, she should be able to send him back to the nothingness where he belongs with little effort. “Leave now.” She orders calmly, using the same tone she tried on the stormtrooper back on Starkiller base. With that she flops back on the mattress and closes her eyes, hoping the vision will disappear.

“Naïve little Rey.”

It’s not the insult that makes her react. It’s the brush of his breath on her earlobe. Before she can even think about it her hand meets with his cheek. She’s not paralyzed or tied up anymore. If he thinks he can breathe down her neck again, he’s dead wrong.

The slap doesn’t seem to deter Ren. On the contrary. He grabs at her wrist and manages to pull her out of the bed trapping her between his body and the wall.

“Get off me!” She cries out, ready to defend herself with her free arm if he even tries to lay a finger on her, but he just stands there in silence and observes.

“What do you want?” She manages to ask with as much spite as she can.

“Fight me.” He finally responds very composed, almost with a matter-of-fact tone.

Kriff she thinks. If really he’s but an illusion of her own creation, she has the worse imagination.