Chapter Text
Prologue. . .
"How many fingers am i holding up?" a hyper 7 year old dark haired little girl shouted at him.
"Umm. . . 3?," an 8 year old confused Kaneki Ken answered her, He was doing just fine reading a book all alone in the park, it's not like he was in need of someone to talk to, let alone a friend or anything.
"Eeeeeh!!, that's wrong!" she once again shouted in his face.
"5?," he tried again, somewhat getting annoyed of this girl, he really wanted to get back to his book.
"CORRECT!" the girl said, her small face stretched into a bright smile that made him want to smile back but was too shy to.
"Where's your friend? the talkative one you're always with?" she asked again, making kaneki look up at her curiously, "You mean Hide?," Kaneki answered.
"Yuuuup!" she quipped. "You seemed lonely from up there, so i came down!!"
Kaneki didn't know her, wasn't aware that there was a girl close to him and hide's age in their neighborhood so he was a bit hesitant to just talk to her but he said;
"He had to go to the dentist bec. he had a toothache" she was nodding her head as if to say "oh i know all about that" and 8 year old Kaneki found himself nodding along with her in unison.
"Umm. . . what's your name?," Kaneki asked shyly, he knew he didn't have to ask her but he also knew that his best friend Hide will be glad to have another friend along with them, especially if it's with a cute girl like her, so he asked.
She smiled even more, making her already fully stretched face even more funnier, "I'm Touka!!," she cheered, holding out her hand for Kaneki to take. "Touka Kirishima, nice to meet you!,"
Well at least she's polite, the 8 year old boy thought. "I'm Kaneki Ken, nice to meet you too, Touka" he inwardly replied, taking her hand with a shy expression.
Maybe she's nice, he thought. maybe he and Hide will have more fun now going out and venturing the streets, now that they had one more friend to have fun and play with.
Touka laughed, noticing how shy and embarrassed looking her new friend was. She wanted to tell Kaneki that she has seen him loitering around the park along with his blond haired friend ample of times and that she's always wanted to come down and join them but she just shook his hand again and said "Let's be friends from now on, Okay?"
Not really knowing how much her new friend Kaneki Ken will be to her.
Junior High. . .
"Touka-chaaaaaaaaan" a lazy voice drawled.
Touka looked back to see who has calling her and found her two friends who was sitting beside each other at the swing in the park looking and smiling at her expectantly.
Well one was smiling while the other had his eyes practically falling off from looking at her.
"What?," she asked, her young pretty face forming into a scowl.
She had a faint idea of what was in their minds, they were always like this or at least Hide was; whenever she was talking to a boy, it didn't matter if the boy was a classmate or a friend too, they always had a familiar look on them whenever it happened.
Hide smiled at her warmly, then wiggled his eyebrows and asked,"Who's he?," resulting into Touka rolling her eyes at him then aggressively saying,"He's my science partner" Touka took a sit on the third swing beside Kaneki, looked at him and said;
"Did you eat lunch?, i was looking for you awhile ago. you were nowhere" Touka's face was this close to Kaneki's and automatically his round face flushed red and he averted his eyes from her gaze
He stammered,"Y-Yes, ofcourse Touka-chan! i was just busy reading, so maybe that's why you didn't notice me" he smiled at her weakly, and Touka just shrugged not really bothering to ask further more.
It's been 6 years since the three of them have been friends, 6 years since she had noticed that Kaneki Ken seemed lonely and that maybe he could use a playmate, 6 years since she told Kaneki for them to always be friends.
Touka looked up at the sky and sighed, it was so blue and just bright, making her think of tomorrow and how beautiful it could be.
"Kirishima-san!" all three of them looked at the direction of the voice and found Fumio, her science partner giddily waving from across the park.
Touka waved back, not really sure of what to do. did he forget to say something? did she forget to note something that she needed to?
"Yes, Fumio-kun?," she asked loudly with a confused look, Fumio in response just bowed his head and dashed out of their sight as of he was on fire or something
Hide bursted out laughing, "Touka-chan i think you've got an admirer!" he exclaimed.
Touka just shook her head, " We're science partners, we're friends," she meekly replied.
Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Kaneki with a tiny smile, looking at her gently. "Yes, Kaneki?," Touka asked him, he looked as if he wanted to say something.
"You don't like him?" Kaneki asked seriously with the slightest touch of shyness, Touka blinked for a few times before she replied;
"No i don't," she said directly at Kaneki and without missing a single beat. "I mean, of course i don't. what are we like 12?, i think we're still too young for that!"
"You're 13 and we're 14 actually," Hide supplied with a knowing tone.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Touka answered, before pulling her tongue out at him and pulling a childish face.
Hide reached out and pinched both of her cheeks and said "Maybe when you're in high school? does Fumio-kun have a chance with you then?"
Touka wanted to say that it didn't matter whatever age or school grade they were going to be in, she didn't like Fumio-kun and that was that but instead she just shook her head and dropped the conversation.
"I can't believe we're going to be high schoolers soon." Hide's eyes were humongous as he points this out, making Kaneki and Touka smile at each other.
"Yeah, soon we're gonna be attending high school and then college and . . . yeah," Kaneki agreed, leaving Touka the only one left to react.
She was a year younger than them meaning they'll be in their first year of high school while she's still be in her last year of junior high and the thought saddened her Of course but still,
So She stood up, probing the other two to do the same then grabbed their hands forming a small circle, with both of Kaneki's and Hide's hands on hers, she said; "And just like these past 6 years, let's stay together, be happy together and be friends always, Okay?!!" she smiled and laughed, fully wishing with all of her heart that her words stay true always.
Both Kaneki and Hide agreed, mirroring Touka's words and her heart's wish just as much.
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And just like that, Kaneki and Hide had already graduated junior high.
They were on the stage along with their classmates, facing their families, friends and loved ones. watching them cheer them on as they enter a different phase in their lives and embrace maturity and adulthood.
"High school! Kaneki, HIGH SCHOOL,!!" Hide beamed right beside his best friend, throwing an arm around him.
Kaneki in return threw an arm around him too and laughed right back, he searched the crowd for a certain girl and found her standing right below them.
Touka was clapping her hands with a big and the prettiest smile Kaneki has seen among the crowd, She was wearing a simple white flowy dress but she managed to look the most lovely Kaneki thought.
Right beside her was a younger boy version of her, looking bored and sullen, he couldn't help but laugh inwardly.
Kaneki waved at them, smiling appreciatively towards the two siblings.
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No sooner than later, it was Touka's turn to graduate and be right up on the stage.
She was trying to catch either Hide's and Kaneki's eyes but people were swarming beside her, so she just texted them and said to meet up later that night.
"Congrats!!," Arata Kirishima exclaimed, hugging his first born and nudging his second child; Ayato to do the same
Ayato sighed but hugged his sister nonetheless, knowing full well just how happy his sister and father is.
"Thank you," Touka said to both of them, kissing her dad on the cheek and shuffling Ayato's hair.
After a few more minutes of greetings and pleasantries towards others, they walked outside, the three of them carrying a sense of sadness and happiness altogether, and they knew exactly why was that.
"How i wish you were here mom," Touka whispered to herself, "We miss you, We love you."
And somehow, just like they have been all this time, they were okay.
High School. . .
Their first day of high school was no different than Junior High to be quite honest, except maybe for the fresh new faces of their classmates who they'll be seeing almost every day for the coming 3 years Kaneki thought.
So when Touka asked how was their first day in high school, they didn't give any sky high comments or anything
But he had to admit though, when he and Hide arrived at their new campus that morning, everyone was energetic, everyone was optimistic about their future days and he himself felt that way too somehow.
So Kaneki added that it wasn't hard to feel happy and excited about their first day, Especially when your own best friend was one of the most energised.
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"Waaaah! Dude, did you see that girl? she's was sooo cute!!!," Yes, Hide was energised alright.
They were 2nd years already, they've gone through this last year and now they were seating in the front benches just trying take a peek at their would be kouhais.
Kaneki ducked his head discreetly, not wanting the group of girls that just walked past them to notice him.
"Yeah i saw her, she was . . ."
Kaneki didn't finish his response to Hide, Not when his attention was already on the pretty dark short haired girl a few feet away from him.
"Touka-chan," He said, smiling at her direction and already moving towards her, "Hey!," Hide yelled. "Seriously, Kaneki. there are other people and i don't know? Girls in here too, you know" Hide grumbled, shaking his head behind Kaneki.
The thing was, Kaneki didn't care about other people or other girls.
He just wanted to see Touka-chan up close, just wanted to officially welcome her.
He just wanted to say that he missed seeing and having her around campus, missed sharing lunch with her.
Kaneki missed her. he truly, truly just did.
--------
The weather that day was more than nice, they were lounging under a huge oak tree that was a popular hang out among the students
It's been 2 weeks since school started and they've all finally settled in.
Hide was lying on their shared sheet towel that was placed on the ground, he was asleep.
Touka had brought along a friend of hers from class; Yoriko, she was nice and got along just great with her, what's more was that she liked to cook and was actually fantastic in it.
"Say Aaah," Yoriko said sternly, she had her hands occupied with a spoon and a chapstick on each side, on the left was her specialty curry and on the right was her homemade gyoza.
Touka opened her mouth obediently. Kaneki watches this and looks at the food and hear his stomach grumble at the sight.
Touka hears and gives out a low chuckle as she picks a sushi and faces Kaneki
"Now its your turn!" she urged on, "say Aaaah!," Kaneki looks at her and quickly contemplates what the heck he should do, it's just food Ken, it's soo simple. Kaneki heard his brain point out, Of course. Kaneki said to himself.
His eyes were round and he was blushing noticeably as he did what he was told and took the food obligingly, earning a sweet and satisfied smile from Touka
"Good right?," Touka asked,
"Yes!!? is it any good?," Yoriko doubtingly asked as well
He smiled, his baby faced yet boyish visage turning upwards as he says "It's fantastic Yoriko-chan, Thank you"
Yoriko blushes and bows her head, and promises them that she would definitely bring more food everyday.
Kaneki and Touka both laugh, their shoulders leaning so gently and softly against the other that only Yoriko sees
Hide wakes up, somehow summoned through the amazing waft of the food and starts picking on each one. "You guys have tried this right? you already have right? cause i'm finishing this. All of this, Okay?" he continues, "Yoriko-chan! this is amazing!!"
All three of them once again laugh at the sight of Hide trying to best himself in eating each one. Yoriko finds herself looking at Kaneki and Touka;
She catches Touka slightly lean and bend her head against Kaneki's shoulders and watches him relax against her naturally.
It was a warm,vivid sight.
"I could definitely get used to this" she thought.
It all happened in a few seconds.
The perfectly constructed and simple, happy life that 16 year old Kaneki Ken have or better yet had was crumbling into bits right in front him.
How awful he thought, but then again what did he expect? it was too nice, too much, too perfect.
Maybe. . . maybe there was a way to convince his Aunt? If maybe he could tell her just how much of his happiness weighs in on this then maybe, she would understand?
"Are you kidding me?," his own self taunted. "This is her we're talking about, There is no way she would let you be happy. You know that."
Kaneki wanted to argue, but ultimately saw no point to it, arguing with himself was just ridiculous. "and pathetic", he added
He was looking at his Aunt through sorrowful eyes and a hollowed heart but he kept listening still.
"Do you Understand, Ken? We're moving." his Aunt pressed on.
He understood. He understood perfectly what she was saying. his Aunt grabbed his face and levelled his eyes into hers and said,"We're moving in a week, pack your bags and get your stuff ready. I won't be repeating myself twice. Got it?"
He was pretty sure he managed a nod before heading straight to his room.
He needed to call Hide, he needed to tell his best friend that he was moving and that he probably won't see him again, his hands were shuffling for his phone when he stopped dead at the thought of a name he's gotten so accustomed saying.
"Touka. . ." he dazedly muttered. he had always believed that he'd be there with her no matter what, they've been there beside each other for 8 years now and he never thought of a day when and where he wouldn't get to see her laugh or smile or frown or just everything.
He never thought he'd be in this position, not in the least. But there was nothing he could do now, all there was left to it was just to accept the reality, his reality.
He closed his eyes as his body curled inwardly on the bed, trying to make himself and everything else so much smaller.
--------
"I think you should tell her," Hide said, his face donning a grave look but his eyes were hard and serious.
"I think that as her Best friend, you should at least tell her. it's just not right to leave and tell her nothing." he continued on.
"I can't," Kaneki uttered out. "why the hell not?!," Hide exasperatedly replied, "It's not like you wanted to leave on your own or something and come on!, she'll understand. i'm sure about it."
Kaneki shook his head, "I don't want to see her sad and all, i don't want to break our promise-"
"I don't think that's why" Hide interrupted.
There was a palpable tension between them as both boys grew quite
"Tell her for me then?" Kaneki said. "I don't know Kaneki, i think it should still be you no matter what," Hide insisted. "cause really, if you managed to tell me then what's the difference with her?"
Both boys looked at each other, neither of them were stupid. Of course Hide has been noticing for years and Kaneki has been in his own way, hinting at it all along.
Touka was different for Kaneki, she was more than just his best friend. Hide Was his Best friend, but Touka? she was more than that, so much more than he himself knew how to put into words.
Few more minutes pass by, the silence panning out even more until;
"FINE! i'll handle it, i'll tell her," Hide resigned.
Kaneki smiled sadly, "Thanks, Hide"
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Touka was on her way walking towards her and her friends favorite hang out place when she noticed no one was there yet.
She looked on both directions and still found no clue of them, she had just pulled out her phone when she heard her name being called,
"Touka-chan!!" Hide called. she waved in return and walked towards him, "where's Kaneki?," she inquired, noticing the empty space beside Hide where Kaneki usually was with an innocent look on her face.
Hide gulped, dreading the words that would come out of his mouth next, He looked at her and he clearly saw now why Kaneki hadn't been able to tell her personally.
"Umm. . . Touka-chan, Kaneki wanted me to tell you something. . . . "
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She was sitting in the middle of math class when Touka wiped another tear from her eyes.
She hated this. Hate, Hate, Hated this.
"Why the hell are you crying Touka?!!" she silently seethed at herself.
"He didn't even tell you personally, so why are you crying? he's gone now. so just quit it." she scolded to herself again.
As soon Touka grasped the words Hide was saying to her, she felt tears make their way to her eyes.
As soon as the words "Kaneki left along with his Aunt's family and moved to their provincial house yesterday," registered to her ears, she wanted to close her eyes and stay still. she wanted to stop the onslaught of feelings and emotions that was rushing in on her but Alas, she couldn't do such a thing.
So instead she allowed Hide to see her cry, she had Hide witness just how much she truly cared for their friend and had Hide gently stroke her hair while she had her forehead leaning on his shoulders as she let every emotion and tears drop from her and run her dry.
4 years later. . .
"Where are you?, I'm right here standing in the gates"
"I'm here, look to your left"
Kaneki looked and found his best friend, waving at him; looking a bit disheveled and in need of at least 3 cups of coffee, he frowned. "Couldn't sleep?," he asked him
"Uh yeah, sort of" Hide said distractedly. he seemed anxious, which Hide almost never was, making Kaneki think something was up.
It was the first day of their 2nd year in Kamii University, as usual it was a busy place since everyone was just getting reacquainted after the break.
They were walking behind a newly arrived group of 1st years, you could tell they were new with the way they moved and tried to look around the place, they were just like Kaneki a year ago, New and a tad bit lost.
"You look like you should eat or something, Hide" Kaneki told him, looking around for a vendo machine nearby.
"I'm Fine! don't worry about me man," Hide said, his head moving in different directions as if looking for someone."but i do need to eat!! be right back!" Hide said dashing to the nearest vendo.
Kaneki nodded his head, and loudly rushed "I'll see you inside!!" Kaneki cut his voice quickly as he heard a number of female chuckles behind him. He looked and found 4 girls giving him the once over.
He slightly blushed and bowed his head, turning and making his way to the campus building, when he heard his phone ring for a new message, it was from Hide;
"Dude, wait outside for awhile." It said simply. Kaneki knitted his eyebrows in curiosity, did Hide just want me to wait for him? or there's something else? He thought. He might arrive late for 1st period if he did, but he made his way outside again.
He was exactly where he was a few minutes ago, there were fewer people now that each of them started going inside.
Kaneki was checking his schedule for the day when he heard two female voices softly talking to each other near him, he turned around just to see out of curiosity,
The girls had their backs on him but somehow, Kaneki kept looking as he thought that they looked . . . familiar.
They both had short hair, one had blondish orange hair and the other had dark wavy ones, their attention was on each other as they were still talking and lowly giggling over something and Kaneki was about to turn and deem it disrespectful to keep on staring, when the dark haired girl slightly angled herself to the side, allowing Kaneki more view to her face.
He froze in his place.
She's beautiful. So beautiful.
Kaneki wasn't sure what he was seeing, was it her? was it really her?
And just like that and despite himself, He couldn't stop the wave of emotions washing him, He most definitely couldn't stop himself from breathlessly saying;
" Touka. . ."