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“I’m just saying, if me and bird brain were every dating, I would without a doubt be the top in that relationship.”
Steve pauses before he steps into the kitchen, not sure if he really wants to hear the rest of this conversation. He was used to walking into things he didn’t totally understand, from Clint perching on top of the fridge to Tony trying to make he what he thinks was a coffee murder bot.
“No way Stark, you would bottom in a heartbeat.” Clint replies with a laugh. He walks in and sees everyone gathered around the kitchen island, in various stages of waking up.
“Please don’t tell me you guys are debating this over breakfast food.” he says as he walks around the island and heads for the fridge.
“We’re not. Clint’s eating pizza and I’m just having coffee. No breakfast food involved.” Tony says with a smug, sleepy smirk. Sometimes he hates how he can look attractive, even first thing in the morning. He was starting to wonder if there was any situation he wouldn’t find him attractive in.
“And Bruce is not participating in this conversation.” Bruce says from where he’s resting against the counter, calming sipping tea and reading the paper off of his tablet.
“So maybe you can be the deciding vote then. Me versus Clint, if we were dating, who would top?” Tony says with a devilish glint in his eye.
“I’m pretty sure if you two were dating, one of you would end up dead before anything else.” He says, biting the inside of his cheek to stop from letting out a laugh.
Clint just snorts at that, “Fair point. So what about Steve and you Stark? What’d you wager on that?”
Steve pretends to be looking in the fridge for something, hoping it’ll hide the blush on his cheeks. Now that was a situation he had imagined more times than he could count. And to be honest, he’d imagined it both ways. Tony on top, him on top, Tony lying beneath him, biting the pillow as his hands grasped at the sheets, having Tony ride him, looking breathless and beautiful-
“I dunno, what do you think Capsicle?” Tony says as he takes another sip of coffee.
“We’re not really having this conversation, are we?” He says, trying to drag his mind out of the very detailed gutter.
“Oh come on, its all in good fun! So come on Cap, how do you swing?” Tony says, antagonizing him.
Something in him snaps, for once he wants to be the one to leave Tony stunned, “Well as a matter of fact, I happen to swing both ways.”
The kitchen is dead silent after that, Bruce just stares at him, tablet forgotten, Clint pauses with a slice of pizza halfway in his mouth, and Tony’s mouth is opening and closing like a fish out of water.
“I…..” Tony says before trailing off, still looking like a dear in head lights.
“Well that’s pretty obvious Rogers.” Nat says as she sashays into the kitchen, before grabbing the toast off of Bruce’s plate. “Don’t tell me you boys didn’t know.”
“I- What?! How did you know?!” Tony asks stunned.
“She knows everything Tony, don’t start asking how.” Clint says quietly, finally putting his pizza down.
Natasha just smirks before she continues, “And if I had to place a bet on it, Tony would totally be the bottom.”
“I- You-“ Tony rambles.
“Yeah, you’re probably right Nat.” Steve says, smiling at Natasha. “Let me know if you’d like to find out sometime Tony.”
With that, he walks out of the kitchen, hearing Tony’s impending meltdown before he even makes it down the hallway.
He was going to have fun with this.