Archive of Our Own ^beta

Lexa sat at the edge of the worn teal couch that she and Clarke bought together once upon a long time ago. Her elbows were perched on top of her knees, feet flat on the area rug that was deep in Earth tones with speckles of blue. Her gaze was locked on a small stain right by one of the coffee table's legs. To be fair, though, she wasn't being forced to stare at that spot. She could easily lock her eyes anywhere else at their home. At least.. Anywhere but Clarke's blue eyes - still tinged red for God only knows how long. At the thought, Lexa's stomach dropped a little, hating the knowledge that she was the cause of those red-tinged eyes that are now hollow and distant.

Her thoughts were broken when a horn sounded off from nearby, head snapping up to catch the blonde's eyes. They lingered for a few more breaths before a few doors slammed shut, followed by some talking low enough that neither can fully hear what was being said, their last few moments stolen from them.

"U-Haul is here.." Clarke croaked, pushing off from the doorway where she had been standing the entire time, keeping an eye for the U-Haul, distracting herself from the brunette on the couch.

If this were any other moment, she would be glued to Lexa's side, fingers intertwined, dotting kisses to the brunette's sun kissed skin, wrapped up in their own little world. But this wasn't like any other moment. Hell, this wasn't even a different world. This was now. This was reality. And Lexa was leaving.

"Hello Clarke," Lincoln crooned in his soft voice, eyes heavy and cloudy, trying to give an encouraging smile to the blonde.

"Hey Linc," Clarke replied, trying her best not to break apart at attempting to return the smile.

She failed.

Behind Lincoln was Nyko, Artigas, and Gustus, all donning thick moving gloves as to not acquire any injuries on their hands. They all greeted Clarke with some semblance of a nod or tight smile before entering the house the blonde and the brunette occupied. Clarke's throat was too tight for any type of verbal exchange so she settled for a nod of her own before her eyes settled on the last member of the moving team: Octavia. At the sight of the shorter brunette, before Clarke can even process what was happening, or remember who moved where first, she was running out the door and colliding into her bestfriend's open arms, tears cascading down her cheeks, a thick sob ripped from her throat as Octavia's arms wrapped around the blonde's body tightly.

With her back to the main door, Clarke didn't see the worried looks everyone shot their way, no doubt jaws clenching at the heartbreaking sight of a young girl falling apart in her bestfriend's arms. But, no matter how much they felt for Clarke, only one other person knows exactly how the blonde feels. The green eyed brunette who is now standing next to the boys, watching the same scene they were watching, her heart slowly breaking some more. She finally had the courage to tear her gaze away from the two women when Lincoln placed a gentle hand on Lexa's shoulder, adding a light squeeze of comfort, before nodding his head a little towards the house.

"Come on," he whispered low, leading the way inside after the others have entered.

Lexa followed with a silent nod, each step heavier than the last, her heart thudding hard against her chest as if trying to get free. Or maybe it was just her mind playing tricks on her. Or maybe it's her heart trying to convince her to stay.

By the time Clarke has started to calm down, still wrapped in Octavia's soothing embrace, the house Lexa and her shared together was becoming visibly emptier. With each one of the boys exiting the home, an item of Lexa's in their hands, the emptier the blonde felt.

First, it was just the little knick knacks, souvenirs they gave each other during vacations, impulse bought trinkets from the sidewalk peddlers, maybe a costume jewelry in boxes here and there. But as little as they may be, with every item taken out of the house, a part of Clarke leaves with those items until Clarke didn't think she could take anymore of the entire ordeal.

She was wrong.

Next items to be hauled out of their shared homes were bigger items that the blonde and brunette previously discussed when it was time to decide on who gets what. The flat screen from the media room was going with Lexa while their bigger flat screen in the living room was staying with Clarke. The wardrobe that housed Lexa's clothing was the next item to go and Clarke couldn't help but feel like someone just punched her low on the gut as it bottomed out completely and left her breathless and shaking.

"Clarke," husked Octavia as she took Clarke's face in her hands.

"W-What..?"

"Don't look.." Octavia's words sounded like she was on the verge of tears as well, swallowing hard.

"I.." was all Clarke managed before she heard some commotion coming from the far side of the room. Both Clarke and Octavia looked over to the area and this time no one can mistake the sharp sound that the blonde let out as any other noise than what it is - a broken sob.

"Clarke?" Lexa called out as she exited the spare bedroom where the boys were lugging the queen size mattress, heart thudding, thinking Clarke got hurt.

"I need some air," the blonde said, rising quickly while making a beeline for their- her -bedroom now.

"Keep loading the U-Haul," Lexa said as she took off her thick moving gloves. "I'll be right back."

Octavia rose from the couch where she had been holding a broken Clarke in her arms moments ago, intercepting Lexa's path to Clarke's bedroom. The brunettes had a brief moment of staring contest before Octavia opened her mouth to speak.

"Be gentle.." was all she said, walking away to allow Lexa access to Clarke's bedroom.

The blonde's bedroom door opened with a soft creak, followed by gentle footsteps made silent by the carpeted floor, some shuffling as the person entered, then finally a soft click of the door closing. Lexa stood leaning and frozen on the closed bedroom door, watching the blonde sitting on the edge of her bed, hands pressed between her knees, head bowed down, hair and tears flowing.

"Clarke-"

"This doesn't feel right.."

"Clarke, we talked about this-"

"Lexa," Clarke interrupted the brunette once again. "I could be wrong but.. Good bye just don't feel right. Not with you.. Does it feel right for you?"

At that, Clarke raised her head to meet the brunette's tear filled eyes, silently pleading with her to reply. For Lexa's sake, she didn't look away. She couldn't when those blue eyes still managed to get her heart beating the way it did when they first met all those years ago in Ms. Reyes' 8th grade Physics class. The brunette hesitated, mouth opening a few times, trying to reply in the way she knows she should as to not give false hope to Clarke. But the brunette knew that her reasons were more so for herself, less for Clarke. Still, here they are, one on the verge of breaking apart, the other on the verge of leaving-

"No," Lexa found herself whispering, shaking her head, tears cascading down cheeks. "How could it when I never wanted to say goodbye?"

Oh fuck fuck fuck!

Clarke knew that was as close as she was going to get out of Lexa to an I love you at this current moment. But maybe, just maybe..

"You know what our song should be?" Clarke asked randomly, smirking a little.

"What- Clarke, what are you talking about? Now's not the time to-"

"Baby, maybe, we should just sleep on it tonight," Clarke sang lightly, jokingly yet seriously, a country song that has come to be the blonde's favorite at the moment.

Much to her surprised though, instead of the fake exasperation that the brunette usually expressed to the blonde whenever she would sing this song to the brunette, Lexa smiled gently, pushing from the door, shaking her head, trying to hide the laugh trying to crawl out of her throat.

"Okay," was all Lexa said, not trusting herself to say anything else, before kicking off her calf high boots to the side and proceeding to shimmy out of her jeans.

"Wait what?"

Lexa stopped, eyes looking at Clarke, skinny jeans halfway down her long legs. "What?"

"What are you doing?!"

"Uh.. Getting out of my clothes.."

"But- why?"

"I thought you wanted to sleep?"

When Clarke didn't say anything to that, too shocked to form any sort of coherent response (or even anything coherent period), Lexa continued to undress. She folded her jeans and her top before placing the folded items atop Clarke's dresser. She knew the answer before she even asked so Lexa fished out a pair of boy shorts and loose t-shirt from Clarke's dresser and donned them. She undid her wild hair from their ponytail and shook her head left to right like a wild dog, fingers combing through to remove the tangles. When she was done, she looked over to where Clarke was, too shocked to have moved an inch, mouth open comically at Lexa.

"Are you gonna keep staring or..?"

It wasn't until Lexa was already laying on her back, on her side of the bed, foot lightly kicking Clarke on the thigh that the blonde came to.

"This is really happening, right..?" the blonde husked, not entirely sure whether to trust her self to believe in any of this right now.

"If you're gonna keep questioning this, I can go-"

"No! I mean.." Clarke cleared her throat. "No."

Lexa raised a quizzical brow.

Clarke's brain wasn't working at the moment so she opted to carefully crawl to the space next to Lexa, keeping a respective distance, afraid that any sudden movement or closeness will wake her up from this dream.

"Move it, Griffin, I don't want to sleep without you next to me," Lexa grumbled before burying her face onto her pillow to hide her blushing cheeks, the words inadvertently becoming a rough confession.

Clarke smiled at those words, blushing hard as she bit her lip, settling herself in Lexa's arms. She laughed a little at the brunette's muffled finally, snuggling to the brunette fully when Lexa kept pulling and pawing at her to come closer.

When Lexa didn't return after half an hour, Octavia headed to Clarke's bedroom to tell the brunette that the U-Haul is almost full and there's only a few more items to pack before they gotta go. Octavia gently knocked on the door, waiting patiently before knocking again, brows creasing.

"Clarke? Lexa?" she called out softly through the door.

Since she received no answer, Octavia turned the knob and pushed the door open, hoping not to walk in on the two at the wrong time. The sight that greeted the shorter brunette brought a huge smile to her face: Lexa's arm strewn over Clarke's midrift, fist clutching the blonde's shirt, face buried into the crook of Clarke's neck. Clarke had her arm under Lexa, possessively curled at Lexa's back and clutching at the top the brunette is wearing. Their legs are tangled together, a thin sheet haphazardly thrown over from their waist down.

Octavia fought to contain the high pitched squeal threatening to come out and quickly closed the bedroom door, power walking to join the crew outside.

"Guys! Guys! Guys!" came Octavia's excited chanting.

"Octavia? What is it? What's wrong?! Is it Clarke and Lexa? Has something happened?" Lincoln hurled question after question at his girlfriend, taking long strides to head back into the house, the others hot on his heels.

"No! No no no! You can't go in there!" Octavia said as she blocked the entrance to the house.

"Don't be ridiculous! They could be hurt-"

"They're sleeping."

The boys exchanged bewildered looks.

"What do you mean.. 'sleeping'?" Gustus asked slowly.

"Not sex," Octavia clarified.

"This I have to see," Artigas said and quickly ducked under Octavia's arm, heading straight to Clarke's bedroom.

"Hey! Get back- shit!" Octavia was too busy chasing after Artigas that the others barreled past her in record time to join the other boy, standing still at the now opened bedroom door.

"Wow.. Octavia wasn't kidding.." Artigas whispered.

"They look so-"

"-domesticated. Ew," Nyko huffed.

"Shut up and shut the door," Lexa's sleep gruffed voice called out before turning over and snuggling more into Clarke's body, the blonde shifting in her sleep to cradle Lexa more to her chest.

"Awww," everyone said before Lexa hurled a harsh curse at them.

Octavia pushed everyone away from the door and closed it with a silent click, the smile still on her face.

"What do we do with her stuff now?" whined Artigas. "My arms feel like jello doing all that moving."

"Just lock it up and leave it on the curb. They can deal with it in the morning."

"Good idea," second Lincoln, draping an arm over Octavia's shoulder.

"Let's go home."