Chapter Text
When he thought of how much Leila Kalomi had nearly cost him. Had nearly cost Jim, Spock found it hard to keep the anger he felt in check.
And yet, how much of it was his own doing? It was Spock who had rejected Jim and it was Spock whose thoughtlessly spoken words had cost Jim so much.
On the way to the brig to see that Leila was secure, Spock ran into Nyota, who was coming from that particular area. He reminded himself to put her in for the commendation, since he didn’t want Jim to tax himself with anything in the near future.
She stopped in front of him, her dark eyes searching his. She reached out to touch him and her hands rested on his forearms. “You look happy. Does that mean things went well with Jim?”
“Yes,” Spock confirmed. “He forgives me all my transgressions.”
“And?”
“He loves me.”
She smiled at that. “And?”
“I love him.”
“And?”
Spock tilted his head. “What else is there, Nyota?”
“A wedding. A bonding ceremony. Commitment for life.” She squeezed his arms. “Spock, don’t you know that I know, well, hell, I knew for a long time, that you didn’t want that with me because you wanted it with him?”
“How could you know when I did not know myself?”
Nyota shook her head. “Come on, Spock. You knew. You were just too stubborn and thickheaded to figure it out. Fortunately, I wasn’t.”
“For which I will always be grateful.”
“So?”
He shook his head. “It is too early to speak of such things with him.”
Nyota sighed. “He is not so fragile, you know. He can handle a lot more than you give him credit for. And honestly, haven’t you two wasted enough time? You once told me you were afraid of being with Jim because you had seen the toll being with Jim took on Ambassador Spock. His time with his Jim, in his timeline, was too short and he never stopped grieving. Isn’t that a good enough reason to grab onto Jim here and now?” She released his arms to throw her arms around him and squeeze him tight. “I love you. Both. And I want you to be happy for many many years. Please make that happen.”
Nyota kissed his cheek then and continued down the corridor away from the brig. Spock continued to watch her until he could no longer see her.
And just like she wished him happiness, Spock hoped the same for her. She deserved it.
When he reached the brig, and the cell where Leila was being held, he spotted her sitting on a bench in the corner. But she rose when she saw him and came to stand close to the barrier.
“Mister Spock!”
“As you have no doubt been told, we are on our way to Starbase 9 to hand you over to the custody of Starfleet authorities. You will be court martialed as well as tried for the attempted murder of Captain Kirk.”
She put her hands on the wall. “But, I only did it because I love you.”
Spock shook his head. “You do not know love.”
“You love me! I saw it.” She was crying now. “I felt it when you made love to me. You-you were happy with me. We can be happy again together. We can! If you let me out, we can have everything. You can be Captain.”
Spock turned and walked away.
“Mister Spock! Mister Spock!” she continued to shriek.
****
“God, it feels good to be out of the medbay,” Jim declared as he re-entered his quarters from the bathroom where he had just showered. “And away from Bones’ prodding.”
“I am gratified that he takes such good care of you,” Spock said as he went through Jim’s wardrobe to find him clothing to wear to bed.
Jim, who stood only with a towel around his waist, suddenly put himself in between Spock and the wardrobe. “Hey, forget about that. I figure for what I have in mind I can stay naked.”
“Jim, you just got out of the medbay—”
“And I am fully functional. You heard Bones. Thanks to Sulu’s Macron Wart.” His blue eyes sparkled with mischief as he met Spock’s gaze and slowly lowered the towel to the floor. “You and I didn’t get to do this before.”
Spock’s gaze roamed over Jim’s bare body. Down his chest to the already rising and thickening cock between his legs. How was he to resist this?
When Spock’s gaze rose once more to Jim’s face, he watched as that irresistible tongue came out and traced over his lips.
Spock’s breath hitched as he realized he didn’t have to resist. Jim wanted him as much as he wanted Jim. This beautiful, wonderful human was his to seize whenever he desired. And he most definitely desired.
With Nyota’s words still fresh in his thoughts, however, he wondered if he should bring up the issue of their bonding before they engaged in copulation.
It had been Spock’s experience, however limited, that humans engaging in sexual activity would say anything during it, even things they did not actually mean. Or even afterward in a blissed out state. He would not want Jim to make such agreement without careful consideration.
And yet, Spock’s own cock had grown erect and was pushing most uncomfortably against his uniform trousers. And Jim was looking at him expectantly, lust and wickedness evident in his blue depths.
Perhaps such serious discussion could wait after all.
Jim had moved closer to him and was now flicking his tongue out over the point of Spock’s left ear. He shivered.
“I wondered if your ears were sensitive,” Jim said with a beautiful smile.
“I believe that everything is simply sensitive to you, Jim,” Spock whispered. “I have…wanted you for a long time.”
“Hmm.” Jim moved his mouth across Spock’s jawline. “A long time, huh? How imprecise of you, Commander.”
Spock exhaled. “Five hundred sixty eight days and—”
Jim laughed and shut him up with his lips upon Spock’s. Then he nibbled on Spock’s bottom lip. “Let’s not make it five hundred sixty nine.”
“Yes,” Spock said, as his hands slid down Jim’s bare back to his buttocks. “I am in full agreement.”
Jim leaned back and pushed his hands under the hems of Spock’s shirts. “Then take these fucking off.”
Spock was in no mood to argue, so he quickly yanked them off over his head. He shuddered as Jim’s callused hands roamed up his stomach and to his chest, fingers tangling in his wiry chest hair.
Jim leaned forward and nuzzled Spock’s throat. His cock jumped in his pants and he felt the wetness there.
“On the bed,” Spock ordered, noting the way Jim’s nostrils flared at the command. He watched as Jim back up until the backs of his knees hit the mattress and then he sunk down onto the bed, gaze riveted to Spock.
Spock discarded his boots quickly, barely pausing to remove his socks, before turning his attention to the removal of his pants. Jim was running his tongue along his lips while his hands inched toward the large, thick penis between his legs.
“Shall I start?” Jim asked, his tone low and deep.
All Spock could do was nod and he waited as Jim’s fingers curled around his shaft, his thumb rubbing across the pre-cum drop at his slit. There was a ragged moan and Spock wasn’t sure which one of them made it.
He pushed his uniform trousers down to his ankles and stepped out of them. He made short work of his regulation briefs and very soon stood there naked and staring at his magnificent captain.
He had the sense to inquire after lubricant and was pointed to a nearby drawer where he found a rather enormous bottle. Spock felt torn between gratitude that they would not need replacement any time soon and jealousy at how much had already been used.
Spock knelt on the bed beside Jim, leaning down to kiss him somewhat madly. If there was one thing Spock found he was grateful for it would be the ability to feast on Jim’s lips whenever he wished.
They would have years to perfect this, Spock thought, and in fact, at some point Spock would likely experience Pon Farr with this human, and while he had previously dreaded his mating time, knowing it would be with Jim, made it so much less worrisome. But for now, Spock did not think he could go slow and careful. They’d both waited so long for this, longer than they should have, and he saw the eagerness in Jim’s eyes that surely mirrored his own.
“Spock, want you,” he moaned, linking his arms around Spock’s neck. “Please.”
A thrill shimmied up Spock’s spine at his captain’s needy words. Though it was no doubt illogical, Jim begging him was incredibly stimulating. Spock was too eager himself to experiment with it too much but Spock suspected there would be some future experimentation.
He lubed up two fingers and then parted his captain’s legs. If Spock’s breathing was a little labored who could blame him. This human—his human—was magnificent. And Spock was going to get to keep him.
The stimulation of Jim’s channel clenching around his fingers was enough to make the heavy cock between his legs ache with need. His fingers thrusting inside Jim felt amazing beyond anything he could have imagined.
“Ashaya,” Spock breathed in Jim’s ear, his reward was a kind of mewling sound that nearly made Spock lose it all together. He could not hold back any longer. Playing with Jim’s ass in this manner would likewise have to wait for another time. Right now, he wanted sweet relief.
Spock withdrew his fingers and added more lubrication to his shaft. He had to grit his teeth against the sensation of stroking his own erection. He was too ready to release.
Placing himself between the legs of his captain, Spock lifted him up just slightly to provide him better access to Jim’s slicked hole.
He met the gaze of his captain as he pushed past the tight ring of muscle and his breath stilled in his throat. He was so enraptured of this man. It was on the verge of scaring him again, but he pushed it away.
Somehow, despite all the pain his counterpart endured at the premature loss of his mate, Spock knew, in his heart, both Vulcan and human, he would be with Jim under any circumstances, no matter the cost.
Could he do anything less?
Moving within Jim was the most sublime sensation. Over and over Spock thrust deeply into Jim. Again and again he stroked Jim’s prostate until Jim was a quivering mess of moans and cries beneath him. And still Spock drove into him.
When he could no longer hold back the orgasm tightening his balls, Spock reached between their bodies and tugged on Jim’s cock, once, twice, three times, and Jim was erupting with Spock’s name pouring from his lips. Only moments later, Spock came inside his beloved captain.
They lay side by side, merely breathing in each other for several long moments. Occasionally they would kiss with their mouths or their fingers. They might have stayed that way all night except for the sudden chime at the door.
“Computer,” Jim commanded. “Identify visitor.”
“Doctor Leonard McCoy.”
Spock rose and wrapped the sheets and blankets around Jim before pulling out a robe from Jim’s closet. Jim smiled at him as Spock called out, “Enter.”
McCoy sauntered in, carrying medical equipment, but he stopped short when he saw Jim lounging in bed, barely even bothering to cover his bare chest, Spock noted, while Spock stood beside the bed wearing the captain’s robe.
McCoy rolled his eyes. “I should have known. That didn’t take long.”
Spock glanced at Jim, who really did look extremely debauched, and tried not to blush. “I was given to understand you cleared the captain for—”
“Yeah, let’s not go there,” McCoy interrupted. “And yeah, it’s fine. I knew Jim wouldn’t be able to help himself.”
“What do you want anyway?” Jim asked, not unkindly.
“I came to check on your condition.”
Jim grinned. “I’m completely sated.”
“Captain.”
“I’ll ignore that,” McCoy said with another eye roll. He approached Jim with a tricorder out for scanning.
“Seriously, Bones. I’m fine. I could have been cleared for duty.”
“And then you wouldn’t have…whatever this is.” He lowered his scanner but then he jabbed a hypo into Jim’s neck.
“Hey.” Jim swatted him away.
“Just some vitamin supplements. Have to keep up your strength.” He glanced at Spock. “I guess I’ll have you off another day.”
“But—”
“Spock too,” McCoy said quickly. “Mental health day.”
“There is nothing wrong with my mental health,” Spock replied.
“Say thank you, Spock,” the doctor said as he headed for the door.
“Thank you.”
“And see that he eats in between resting. Or whatever it is you two are doing.” McCoy held up his hands. “And no I don’t want to know.”
“Bye Bones,” Jim called cheerfully. When the doctor left, Jim called out, “Computer engage lock, Captain’s code, Alpha4238.”
“Security lock engaged.”
Jim held out a hand toward Spock. “Come back to bed. And as good as my robe looks on you, lose it too.”
Spock did as Jim said, he was a good first officer after all, and scooted under the covers and by Jim’s side.
“Jim?”
“Yes?”
Spock scooted even closer, as they lay on their sides, facing each other. “Would you consider bonding with me?”
“Bonding?”
“It may be premature,” Spock said quickly. “I did inform Nyota—”
“You talked with Uhura about bonding?”
“With you, yes. It was her suggestion that I speak to you about it. She was of the opinion, given my prior misgivings about how much time our counterparts were able to spend together, that we ought to bond sooner rather than later. But I understand—”
“All right.”
Spock stopped. Stared at Jim who was smiling somewhat bemusedly at him. “What?”
“I said…all right.”
“To bonding with me?”
His smiled widened. “Isn’t that what we were talking about?”
“I am uncertain if you are aware of all that entails and—”
“I know, Spock. All the mind connection. Pon Farr. Feeling your thoughts and emotions. I know. And I accept.”
“If you think it is too soon I will wait.”
Jim sighed then. “You are so infuriating sometimes. I just said yes. I said I want to. Has it occurred to you I don’t want to waste any more damn time either?”
“I…no,” Spock admitted. But his heart was filled with hope and longing of which he had never known. To have a bond with Jim would be better than anything Spock had imagined in life. He swallowed heavily. “I am gratified.”
“Is that reserved Vulcan for hallefuckinglujah?” Jim’s smile was the most beautiful he had ever seen.
“Yes,” Spock whispered. “It is.”
“So, this bond thing, is it permanent?”
“I would like it to be.”
“But can it be broken?”
“Yes,” he said, albeit reluctantly. “Though not without difficulty.”
“So, theoretically, at least, it’s forever,” Jim said softly.
Spock’s heart soared. “Yes.”
“Good.” Jim kissed him. It was perhaps the sweetest kiss Spock had ever known. “I love you. And if you don’t mind, I’ll probably tell you every day.”
“I do not mind.” Spock paused. “I love you as well. And if you do not mind, I probably will not tell you every day.”
Jim chuckled. “Yeah, I don’t mind. I see it in your eyes. I feel it in your touch. And I hear it in the way you breathe around me.”
Spock closed his eyes, overwhelmed. “T’hy’la.”
The sweet kiss again. Softer somehow.
“Forever, huh?”
“And a day.”