Chapter Text
Cry Baby was stood outside the school Spooky and Blurryface attended. She did this often, because whilst she waited for her friends she enjoyed watching the educated children as they left their school, eager to be away from their prison as soon as they could.
Today however, just like the last few times, her eyes were trained on someone in particular.
The boy in shorts and with dashing brown eyes waltzed over to her, a smug look on his face. "Hey, Cry Baby." He said.
"Hey, Johnny." She smiled. As they both walked away together, she cast a paranoid glance over her shoulder. She hadn't spotted them, which meant they probably hadn't seen her either. Good. That meant there was less explaining to do. Johnny noticed her gaze behind them and followed it, so she smiled up at him and connected their lips in quick distraction.
They had been seeing each other for a month now. Cry Baby had fallen in love far too quickly, and had accepted it all too keenly too. It wasn't her fault she felt every emotion so much stronger than everyone else. A simple crush would quickly become a fatal attraction, annoyance would be rage, happiness was close to ecstacy. Cry Baby was addicted to things that made her feel, even if they were toxic to her. And it wasn't drugs; she wasn't going to touch them, not after what she had seen them do to her brother. She could get her own high without them, just by feeling things with other people.
And so, it was inevitable that Cry Baby would fall for Blurryface. When she did, she pushed those feeling deep deep down never to be uncovered. She knew that Blurry didn't have the time or the interest to be with her in ways other than friendship. At first she tried to drop little hints, be a little more forward with herself, but she could see that nothing was being reciprocated and she was tied to a carousel. Chasing round and round but never really getting anywhere. After a while, that love was forgotten; traded with loyalty and respect. Though when she reminisced it made her feel regretfully sick, like she ate too much pink cotton candy. Or maybe that was the dizzying thought of continuously spinning on a child's fairground ride.
"My birthday is coming up." Cry Baby said. "Come over, bring a few friends."
"My friends? Why do you want my friends? Aren't you going to call some of your own?"
Cry Baby shrugged. "My friends are not really party people."
"Oh, they're quiet girls?" Johnny smirked. "Nothing like you then."
"Oh, definitely quiet girls," Crybaby blinked her long lashes. "Nothing like me at all."
"Well, you better get writing your invitations then."
Her heart sped up dramatically. "Huh?"
"You've never heard that line? It's a figure of speech, babe." He cupped her cheek with his palm.
"Oh, right." She said. "Sorry."
"Come on," He laughed. "You're so fucking dumb sometimes. Who even writes invitations anymore?"
"Not me, that's for sure." She smiled falsely.
Cry Baby wished she didn't have to lie about her "school" and home life, but if she wanted this relationship to work she had to, and she was already slipping deep. She looked at him with wide eyes; large, round and open, drinking in all of him in his light. Before she knew it, she was leaning in. Johnny was surprised but mirrored her, too helpless to stop.
His lips were slightly chapped because of the autumn weather but she enjoyed the feeling they brought to her own mouth. It felt intimate, unique. His breath quickened when she deepened the kiss, and he matched her fierceness. They started to drown in each other, and there was no saving Cry Baby now.
"I love you." She whispered against his lips.
He froze, and Cry Baby realized she had just made the biggest mistake of her life. She stepped back, fearful.
"Um, Uh-" Johnny stuttered. "I-It's only been a month, Cry Baby."
Cry Baby felt a sharp pain in her chest. "S-so what? I can still love you, can't I?"
"Are you expecting me to say it back?" He looked at her with an uncomfortable expression.
Cry Baby felt her throat close up. "I-I mean, it would be nice."
He shook his head. "I can't, Cry Baby."
She didn't need to hear anymore. She ran off, her feet hitting the forest floor hard. She didn't stop running till she got home, and her face was wet with tears. She barely noticed them when they escaped anymore.
The house was empty. She went straight to the bathroom, and opened the faucet. Stripping herself of her clothes, she sat in the tub and allowed her tears to mingle with the bath water as it filled up.
Why did she always spill? She said too much, she overflowed. And now Johnny was going to think she was some clingy, pathetic girl with attachment issues.
"God, I wish I never spoke." She whispered to herself. The soap bar lay next to her, and it took all her strength not to choke herself with it. It wouldn't take much to just lay under the water, letting it fill her airways and lungs till she ceased to exist. She could do that with no trouble. Or maybe throw a toaster in, just because she felt a little dramatic, because it was more her style to go out with a bang. Or a sizzle.
Because of her stupid mouth, she had managed to ruin the one good thing she had; she scared him away. Cry Baby leaned her head back on the edge of the tub, and her mind wandered.
The child at play was scared. She had never rode her bike without training wheels before. But she was adventurous, so felt compelled to do it. She wasn't careful, didn't tiptoe. What kind of life would she be living if she didn't risk a few things? Well she'd probably avoid the dirt for one - which she'd been finding herself in a lot lately - but Cry Baby was never a dolly and teddybear type of girl. She was mud pies and bugs. She was interested in new and unusual things, not boring and monotonous things. Like the flowers in the patch, they had faces and spoke; her friends, she used to call them.
"Watch my heathens!" She cried one day when her brother trekked through the flower patch.
"You mean heathers." He said, rolling his eyes.
"That's what I said." She scratched her chin. What was the difference?
"Daddy, can you take off my training wheels for me? I really want to ride a two wheeler."
"I'm busy, sweetheart. Ask your brother to use a spanner from the shed."
Crybaby hadn't seen her brother all day, or last night for that matter. She was hoping that her daddy would help her ride her two-wheeler. Maybe he could hold onto the seat with his hands while she made her way around. He'd keep her out of the dirt.
"But Daddy..."
"Don't start with the crocodile tears, Cry Baby. I have another shift at the company."
Her daddy never seemed to have time for her anymore. So, motivated as ever, she decided she'd find the spanner (whatever that is) and remove the wheels herself. When she found the right tool that fit the bolts on her bike, she removed them without any effort. They were so worn out. Tossing them aside, she climbed on the bike and gripped the handlebars tight.
"Here goes nothing." She said. Cry Baby sped off but almost instantly fell to the forest ground, once, twice, three times. But she was resilient. Everytime she hit the dirt she got up and carried on. Eventually, she could hold herself for a few moments, only to wobble and fall again. The pedal hit her knee and sunk into the flesh between her kneecap. Cry Baby cried out in pain. A tear or three escaped and she kicked the bike away from her, roaring in frustration. Angry pools of magma formed in her eyes and escaped like lava down a volcano. Her knee throbbed painfully, and little drops of blood began oozing out in quick pumps. She sobbed angrilly and fiercely, but the injury wasn't why she was crying. She could never do anything right, never.
After throwing her trantrum, she picked herself up and dusted herself off, getting back on the bike with a wince. She set off wobbling, unstable and had to stop before she fell again. Cry Baby took a deep breath in, and out. Her brows had furrowed and she set off again. Her knee throbbed horribly, but the more she focused on the pain the more determined she became. Cry Baby was going to make the pain worth it.
"I'm doing it!" She cheered. Her Jenga-tower riding could have been sniffed at, but she was doing it! With a beaming face, she rode it home.
And it was worth almost blowing out her knee for. It was worth the lecture her mother gave her for getting blood stains on her lilac tights and muck on her nice dress.
Sometimes she needed that extra push to know she could do something. Sometimes it meant she had to be hurt.
Cry Baby woke up to the sound of ringing. She lifted her head, she had dozed off in the bath. She picked up the telephone reciever beside her.
"Hello?" Only the monotonous dial tone spoke back to her. She was probably imagining it ringing anyway. She blinked her eyes a few times to fully open them. Her salty tears had dried out her itchy eyes. Her eye-makeup had started to run and the stinging sensation was made worse with the rubbing. But she carried on rubbing them anyway. What else was she good for but making things worse?
"I wish I hadn't cried so much." Cry Baby muttered. Drowning, she was, in her own tears. She let herself drown in despair, quite literally.
She realised she was still holding the receiver to her ear when it nearly slipped out of her pruned fingers. She had been in the water way too long.
A metaphorical zap of electricity hit her, charging the lightbulb in her brain. With slippy fingers, she spun the dial to put in a number she had learned by heart. Before she could chicken out, a voice answered.
"Hello?"
"H-hey, Johnny...? W-would you like to come over?"
"Um... yeah, sure."
"O-okay. I'll see you soon, bye."
"Bye."
The doorbell went soon after, once Cry Baby had gotten dressed. She rushed to answer it.
"Um, hey." Johnny said.
"Hi." Cry Baby said. "Come in."
He walked in a little hesitantly and they sat on the couch. Cry Baby subtly kicked an empty bottle under the couch, cursing herself for not cleaning up ealier.
"Look about before-"
"It was completely my fault. I was being pushy." Cry Baby interrupted him.
Johnny just smiled. "I'm sorry though, I shouldn't have been so cold-hearted about it." He took hold of her hand.
"I shouldn't have been so emotional about it. And I sure as fuck shouldn't have ran away like a child."
They looked at each other for a while, and a smirk curved onto Johnny's features. "C'mere."
Cry Baby scooted closer and he wrapped his arms around her. She held him close, tightly. She looked into his eyes. "I meant what I said earlier."
"I know you did. I just need time." He said.
"Kiss me." She commanded.
"You don't have to tell me twice." He leaned in, claiming her soft lips.
Maybe it was the moment, maybe it was his lips massaging hers, maybe it was his arms around her, but something clicked.
'I love him.' She thought. 'But he doesn't love me.'
'You can make him love you.' A voice in her head said. 'It's easy, give him a piece of you and he'll give it back.'
'A piece of me?'
'Something no man can resist.'
Whilst having her thought-versation she had unconsciously been making the kiss deeper and deeper. Johnny's hands gripped at her waist and he was pulling her body even closer to his own.
'Look,' the voice said. 'He's doing half the work for you already.'
So she went with it, because who was she to argue with her own thoughts? Love was a maze and sex was a game.
She climbed onto his lap and softly ground against him. He groaned and settled his hands on her buttocks, squeezing. Cry Baby marvelled at the effect she had on him.
"Upstairs?" He whispered. Cry Baby nodded, too far gone in love... or was it lust, because because both of the words' meanings were beginning to blend.
Johnny lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around him. He carried her to her bedroom, which was a blur of pink and she was lowered to the bed, giving her slight vertigo. Vertigo spin... spin spin, spinning top. Carousel spin.
'He'll love me.' She thought. 'This will make him love me.'
Their clothes disappeared, much like Cry Baby's sense of clarity. She laid out all open for him on the old, faded red-stained sheets, where frequent washing hadn't removed them. They took each other's first time and afterwards, took a nap together.
Cry Baby awoke later to her lover missing. A note lay by the bedside.
I had to go, I was scared someone might come back to the house while I was still here and I didnt want to wake you.
See you soon,
Johnny.
"How sweet." Cry Baby smiled to herself, but felt a strange niggling feeling like something wasn't quite right. Ignoring it, she decided to stop by the treehouse.
"Hey guys!" She burst through the trapdoor. "Sorry you guys couldn't find me after school, I was caught up with something."
"We came back early from school anyway." Spooky was about to say, but Blurryface interupted him.
"It's fine. We waited for you for a while, but then thought you were already here."
Spooky looked over at him with confusion. Why did he just do that?
Cry Baby continued, unaware. "Sorry guys, I really should have let you know."
"Where were you anyway?" Blurry narrowed his eyes.
"I was at home, I had a few things I had to do..." she trailed off, then gasped. "Blurry, your hands!"
Blurryface quickly clenched his fists and brought them closer to him protectively. "It's a long story."
"Well it's a good job I like long stories. And that I carry band-aids on me now."
Blurry took her change of subject in his stride, and started explaining his injury as she kneeled in front of him and unwrapped a band-aid, swiftly smoothing it into his palm. As their skin touched she couldn't help but think what it would have been like if Blurry was in Johnny's place. She quickly pushed those no-good thoughts aside.
She smiled softly with almost pitying eyes. "I'm so sorry he makes you feel like you have to do this to yourself."
"It was a fluke."
Spooky and Cry Baby exchanged knowing glances. They gave him the dignity of staying quiet.
"Anyway," Spooky broke the rising tension. "What's with you, you seem jittery, Cry Baby."
"So, I'm in a good mood for once and you all think something's up! Can't a girl be happy she's off her period?"
"Jeez, Cry, stop talking. TMI!"
She laughed and let out a breath, feeling Blurryface's stare. She had changed the subject again.
If he didn't notice the first time then he noticed now.