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Katya spent most of her days at home. Her husband, an older man with thinning hair and thick glasses, was at his office more than he was at their apartment. Katya had expected him to be very wealthy, since he shelled out a large chunk of money to bring her from Russia. But her dear husband was a simple accountant who probably should have known to budget better before purchasing a mail order bride. Since he spent most of his time at work, and Katya didn’t know anyone in America, the Russian spent most of her free time cleaning the apartment and watching the television. Unfortunately though, the only movie she was able to find in the apartment was a film called Contact. Katya didn’t mind, though, she quite enjoyed the movie. She sympathized a lot with Dr. Arroway. She too was a woman on her own, looking for something greater than she knew. For Jodie Foster’s character, the answer laid in the stars. For Katya, her future was painted red, white and blue.

The Russian was sitting on the couch, feet tucked under her as she watched Jodie Foster and Matthew McConaughey kiss on screen when there was a knock on the door. Katya and her husband never got visitors. Hesitantly, the Russian paused the movie and moved to open the door. On the other side stood a younger woman, her vivid blue eyes locking with Katya’s immediately.

“Hi, I’m Trixie your next door neighbor! I thought I’d introduce myself,” the young woman greeted, her hot pink lips stretched into a smile. “I brought cupcakes.”

Indeed, the girl had a tray full of cupcakes in her hand, the pink frosting matching Trixie’s outfit.

“Hello, thank you. I am Katya,” the blonde replied with a smile of her own. This was the first time Katya has ever talked to someone other than her husband, and a flutter of excitement curled in her stomach.

“Would you like to come in? I am watching a movie,” Katya offered. The blonde girl’s eyes widened at the offer, but she nodded.

“Sure, I’m not busy. What movie?” The two entered the apartment and Katya took the cupcakes, setting them on the kitchen table before leading the younger girl to the couch.

“Contact,” Katya replied while she started the movie over.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen it,” Trixie admitted. A surprised gasp left the Russian woman, her green eyes widening.

“It is the best movie,” Katya assured. “Everything I know about America I have learned from this movie.”

Those words made Trixie giggle, covering her mouth with a perfectly manicured hand to hide the noise.

“Why Contact? There are plenty of more American movies. How about Saving Private Ryan, or Independence Day?”

Katya shrugged, twirling a long strand of hair around her finger.

“It was the only movie my husband had.”

Those words had Trixie’s eyebrows furrowing. She looked torn, like she wanted to say something, but didn’t know if she should.

“How long have you known your husband? I’ve only seen you in the building the past couple of weeks.”

Katya bit her lip, trying to decide how to answer. She had very strict guidelines from the company that made her arrangement with her husband on how to answer questions like that. Their agreement fell into a sort of legal grey area, and Katya didn’t want to end up back in Russia. But for some reason, she trusted Trixie. She seemed like such a nice girl, no one who wore that much pink could be bad. So Katya went with her gut.

“I have been speaking with him online for about two months. We just got married two weeks ago.”

Trixie tried to hide her reaction, but Katya could see the emotions playing across her face. There were no mail order brides in Contact, so Katya didn’t know how most Americans felt about the practice.

“Where are you from? You sound Russian.” Was Trixie’s next question. The movie was long forgotten in the background.

“You are right,” Katya laughed. “But I am now American! My husband is still helping me with the paperwork, but I am a citizen of your amazing country.” Katya reached out and took Trixie’s hands in her own.

“Enough about me, tell me about yourself.” Katya smiled brightly and squeezed the younger girl’s hand.

“Oh, well, I grew up in Milwaukee, and I moved here for school. I went for theater, doing tap dancing and singing and all of that. Now I work at a bar downtown. Sometimes I get gigs to sing at a club on weekends, but that doesn’t pay the bills, so.”

“That is amazing, you must sing for me one day! I am sure you have a lovely voice,” Katya gushed. Both girls looked up when they heard keys clacking at the front door, and soon enough it opened to reveal Katya’s husband. His eyes widened comically when he spotted Trixie sitting on the couch next to his wife. The Russian woman let go of Trixie’s hands to get up and greet her husband at the door.

“Welcome home Gregory,” she said with a smile, taking his jacket off of his arms and hanging it up in the closet. “Trixie came over to welcome me to the building, isn’t that very nice of her? She made cupcakes!”

Trixie stood up and smiled politely at the man.

“Yes, that was very nice sweetheart,” Gregory replied.

“I should probably head out,” the younger woman informed. Katya made a noise of protest and grabbed Trixie’s hands again.

“You must come over again sometime,” Katya pleaded.

“Yeah, definitely. I’m usually home during the day, so you can just knock anytime you want,” Trixie replied. Katya smiled and kissed both of the younger girl’s cheeks.

“dobroy nochi,” Katya said in farewell. She held the door open for the younger girl and watched as she walked next door to her own apartment. She gave the Russian woman a little wave and a smile before disappearing inside.

…

Trixie soon became Katya’s closest friend. The younger woman was right when she said she was usually home during the day. After Katya’s husband left for work, Katya would immediately head over to the younger woman’s apartment. She would often cook lunch for them, since Trixie was apparently hopeless in the kitchen, and they would spend the day either talking and hanging out in Trixie’s apartment, or out in the city, where Trixie acted as tour guide for the Russian.

She learned a lot about the younger girl, like how she never knew her father, and was treated poorly by her step father. She learned that Trixie was a vegetarian, but didn’t eat very healthy. She learned that Trixie was bisexual, and that took a few days for Katya to wrap her head around. There wasn’t a term for that in Russia. You were either straight, or gay, and being gay wasn’t very accepted. But Trixie was able to have boyfriends and girlfriends in America without fearing that the government would lock her away. America was truly a wonderful place.

…

Katya was standing on a beach, with bleach white sand, a rolling turquoise sea, and the universe sprawled out above her. She knew the beach wasn’t real, it couldn’t be. She had just traveled through a wormhole to meet the aliens that she had made contact with. Further down the beach a pink shimmer began moving towards her. The closer it got, the more shape it took, until finally Trixie was standing in front of her with a calm smile. But Katya knew that Trixie wasn’t real either, like the beach. Because Trixie was dead, she had been for years.

“You’re not real,” Katya choked out. The Trixie in front of her smiled sadly and shook her head.

“No, but we looked into your mind and chose the form of the one you loved most.”

Tears started spilling down Katya’s cheeks and she reached out to cup the Trixie’s cheek.

“I have so many questions,” Katya began, and then continued to speak with the Trixie alien. When their conversation was over, the Trixie began backing away, and Katya’s heart sunk. Trixie was gone, this was the last time she was ever going to see her.

“No, please, stay with me a little longer,” she pleaded, but as the Trixie disappeared, the world around her faded away.

Katya sat up in her bed, her dream still vivid in her mind. She touched her hand to her cheek and felt the dampness there. Her heart was still beating fast, the pain of seeing dead Trixie on the beach still fresh in her mind. She looked at the clock, noted how late at night it was, then pushed out of bed.

“Katya?” Gregory murmured sleepily next to her.

“I had a nightmare, do not worry. Go back to sleep,” Katya replied soothingly. She grabbed her robe off of the bedpost and tied it around her body. Her husband went back to snoring, so Katya took that as her chance to leave. She snuck carefully out of the apartment and to Trixie’s door. It took a few minutes after she knocked for the door to open, revealing a sleepy looking Trixie on the other side.

“Kat? What’s wrong, are you okay?” She asked, clearly disoriented from sleep. Seeing Trixie there, safe and alive immediately calmed the Russian woman down. Without saying a word she threw her arms around Trixie and pulled her into a tight hug.

“I had a bad dream, and you were dead, and the aliens used your image to talk to me on the beach, and they wanted to send me back to earth with no proof that I had traveled so far and met them, and I knew when I went back to earth you would be gone,” Katya explained nonsensically, a fresh bout of tears forming in her eyes.

“Woah, woah, slow down. Isn’t that from Contact?” Trixie pulled back to look at Katya quizzically. Katya sniffled and nodded, causing Trixie to sigh.

“No more watching that before bed. C’mon, come inside.” She pulled the weepy Russian woman into the apartment and guided her over to the couch. Katya clung to Trixie, her arms tight around her waist and her head resting on her shoulder.

“I do not want to lose you, moya kukla,” Katya whispered. She knew she was being silly, it was just a dream. But it seemed so vivid, and she couldn’t shake the feeling of mourning over her friend.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Trixie promised, pressing a kiss to Katya’s temple. Katya nodded, and sighed.

“I am sorry for waking you for something so silly,” Katya said bashfully.

“It’s okay Kat, I don’t care,” Trixie replied before a yawn overcame her.

“You are tired, go back to sleep,” Katya commanded. Trixie shook her head, but shifted down so she was laying down on the couch with her head in Katya’s lap.

“I’m okay, I’m just going to rest my eyes,” Trixie murmured, her voice already seeming like she was half asleep. Katya smiled fondly at the younger girl and started running her fingers through her white-blond hair.

“Sleep, moya kukla,” Katya said softly. She could see the moment Trixie fell asleep, her full lips parting slightly and her breathing growing deeper. The Russian stayed where she was, content with just brushing her fingers through Trixie’s hair and being comforted by her presence.

…

Katya zipped around the apartment excitedly, helping Gregory pack for his upcoming business trip. It was only for three days, but her husband had made her promise that Trixie would stay over with her so she wouldn’t get into any trouble. The younger blonde would be over in a few minutes, so Katya was rushing her husband out of the door. She had his things all lined up neatly at the door and his boarding pass was in her hands, waiting to hand to him so he wouldn’t forget it. Finally, Gregory exited their bedroom, shrugging his jacket on.

“Call me if you need anything,” Gregory said, his eyes intense and earnest as he looked at his wife.

“Yes, yes, of course,” Katya waved off. She pressed a quick kiss to his lips and handed him his boarding pass. “The car is outside and your plane leaves in two hours. Have a good trip!”

He smiled fondly at his wife and blew her a little kiss before opening the door. On the other side stood a shocked Trixie, her hand poised like she was just about to knock.

“Hi Greg!” She greeted with a bright smile.

“Hi Trixie. Take care of my Katya, okay?” He reminded as he exited. Trixie gave him a little salute, and once the door closed behind him she turned to Katya with a smirk.

“It’s just you and me now, Kat.” The young blonde held up her swollen purse and grinned. “I brought movies, I figured we could binge tonight and I can show you ones that aren’t Contact.”

Katya pouted, hoping they would at least watch her favorite movie once. But Trixie was her guest, she had to be accommodating.

“Should I make us popcorn?” Katya asked. She had learned that it was an American tradition to eat popcorn when watching a movie. Maybe because it was so quick and easy to make. All she had to do was pop a bag in the microwave, and in a few minutes she had a perfect snack.

“Sure, I’ll go set up the movie,” Trixie replied. She moved through the apartment like she owned it, going straight to the DVD player and putting in a disc before collapsing on the couch. She draped the blanket on the back of the sofa over her lap while tossing her bag on the table. Trixie was more relaxed around Katya than Gregory was, which puzzled the Russian. She didn’t want to dwell on it though, not when they had a fun evening to get to. So, she started the popcorn and hunted down a bowl to put it in. Once she was finished, she moved to the living room to sit down next to Trixie. The younger woman lifted the blanket over Katya’s lap so they could share.

“What are we watching?” Katya asked before tossing a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

“I figured we’d stick to american classics, so right now we’re watching Grease,” Trixie explained. Katya nodded and turned her attention to the screen. As the film progressed, however, she couldn’t keep her questions in.

“Why are they singing? Do americans often write songs about their love and sing them with their friends?” She asked, watching in confusion as Danny and Sandy warbled on about their summer romance.

“Oh my god, Katya, it’s a musical. You’ve watched musicals before, right?” Trixie could barely contain her laughter as she looked at the older woman. Katya huffed, a blush spreading across her cheeks.

“I have! But those are on stage, this is a movie. Jodie Foster did not sing about Matthew McConaughey,” she said defensively.

“Kat, you have to stop comparing every movie to Contact, it’s not healthy. Just come here and enjoy the movie.” Trixie held her arm out, so Katya took her invitation and sank into her side. The young blonde started playing with the ends of Katya’s long hair, causing the Russian woman to hum contently. Gregory didn’t hold her like this. He was such a skittish little man, afraid of even brushing their legs together as they laid in bed. But Trixie had no reservations about touching her. The younger woman was affectionate, often grabbing Katya’s hand just because she could, or leaning against her when they were standing together. Katya never thought of herself as a particularly cuddly person, but she always felt a little thrill go through her when Trixie touched her. She was learning a lot of things about herself because of Trixie. But that was because she’s never had someone like Trixie in her life before. In Russia, everyone had their walls up. Even parents didn’t show any kind of fondness for their children, so that was what Katya grew used to. But Trixie wore her heart on her sleeve, and wanted to actually get to know Katya, things no one else had cared about before.  When she asked Katya about her favorite color she didn’t have a clue, but discovered it was red when the color was the first thing to pop into her head.

“You’re awfully quiet now, are you falling asleep on me?” Trixie asked gently.

“No, I am just thinking,” Katya replied softly.

“About what?” Trixie sat up a bit so she could see Katya better, her eyes attentive on the woman under her arm.

“About you. You are very special to me Trixie, I have never had a friend like you,” Katya admitted. Trixie looked taken aback, and her cheeks turned pink at the compliment.

“You’re special to me too Kat,” Trixie assured. Katya smiled and laid her head on Trixie’s shoulder.

…

Trixie had work the next night, and Katya knew she was going to be home late but that didn’t stop her from staying up waiting for her. She couldn’t stand the thought of going to sleep in an empty bed, with Trixie was still out. The young blonde came into the apartment at three in the morning, her borrowed keys jingling loudly as she opened the door. As soon as Trixie was in the apartment, Katya was hit with the smell of alcohol.

“Oh Kat, you’re awake!” Trixie said excitedly. Her voice was too loud in the previously quiet apartment, and she stumbled in her heels as she tried to make her way to the couch where Katya was seated.

“I was waiting for you,” Katya replied slowly. “Did you have a fun night?”

“Oh it was so fun,” Trixie gushed as she removed her shoes. “Some people I did a show with a few years ago came in and we did a bunch of shots together. My boss totally didn’t care that I was drinking on the job.”

Trixie carefully sat down on the couch next to Katya and immediately wrapped her arms around her.

“I missed you,” Trixie hummed, pressing her lips sloppily against Katya’s cheek. The Russian woman laughed and steadied Trixie so she wouldn’t completely collapse on top of her.

“I missed you too, moya kukla. Even if you do smell like cheap vodka I am glad you are home.” Trixie giggled at Katya’s words and shuffled around so they were face to face, the younger woman practically straddling her.

“I like it when you call me that, it’s cute,” Trixie mumbled. Her eyes were lidded, and her gaze kept roaming over Katya’s face. “I like you.”

“I like you too Trixie,” Katya promised. Trixie didn’t seem satisfied by that though, because she groaned and took Katya’s face in both of her hands.

“No, I like you Kat. You’re so pretty, and funny, and look at me like I’m the most important person in the world.” Trixie’s words slurred together and her eyes were glassy, but she seemed to be speaking from the heart.

“You are the most important person in my world,” Katya assured. Trixie stared at her, her blue eyes intense before she leaned in and kissed Katya. Her lips were so plump and tasted like liquor, and it sent a chill down Katya’s spine. Trixie was warm in her lap, so soft against her and so different than every man she’s ever kissed. She held Katya gently, and kissed her like she was precious. Katya’s body reacted before her head, and she pulled Trixie closer, parting her lips to deepen the kiss. But Katya didn’t let the moment last long. She pulled away, stunned at both of their actions.

“I’m sorry,” Trixie said quickly. Katya just shook her head, still dazed over what just happened.

“We should go to bed,” Katya said mechanically. Trixie climbed off of her and Katya helped her into the bedroom. They both climbed in, and while Trixie fell asleep right away, Katya stared up at the ceiling. She was plagued with a million different thoughts. She had a husband, and she’d betrayed him tonight. With a woman. Did Katya even like women? She definitely enjoyed kissing Trixie, more than she’s enjoyed kissing anyone else before. Maybe it was because of who it was. Her precious Trixie who lit up a whole room with her smile, who baked her cupcakes and braided her hair. She was the only one who truly got Katya’s heart racing just by the simple brush of her lips. But could Katya be okay with that? She couldn’t wrap her head around the idea of dating a woman. She tried to picture her relationships in the past but putting Trixie in her exes’ place, but it just didn’t fit. She couldn’t picture Trixie treating her like they treated her, and was that such a bad thing? Katya groaned and flipped over so she was facing Trixie. The younger woman looked peaceful in her sleep, her pretty lips parted and her eyelashes brushing against her cheeks. Katya sighed and traced her fingers down Trixie’s arm lightly.

“What am I going to do with you, malysh,” Katya whispered.

…

Things became weird after that night.  Trixie went home as soon as she woke up in the morning, using her hangover as an excuse. Later that day she sent Katya a text saying she still didn’t feel well and she was just going to stay at her place that night, leaving Katya alone in her big apartment plagued by her thoughts. Trixie must regret what she did, there was no other way to explain her avoiding Katya. She shouldn’t have kissed Trixie back. She should’ve pushed her away, and told her she was drunk. But now Trixie knows Katya wants her, cares for her, and doesn’t feel the same.

Gregory came back from his trip safe and sound, so Katya wasn’t completely alone. But Gregory couldn’t replace Trixie. Gregory only asked her about dinner, not about her day. He watched the news, not movies. He made sure there was a respectable distance between them, he didn’t hold her. Katya was sinking back into a pit of loneliness without her Trixie. But it wasn’t like she could force the younger woman to talk to her. Trixie made it very clear by her unanswered texts that she didn’t want to be around Katya right now. The Russian’s life fell back into the same routine she had when she first arrived to America, but this time with a Trixie-sized hole in it.

Her husband started acting weird not long after Trixie. He wouldn’t chat we her as much, and didn’t kiss her when he walked in the door anymore. Maybe she was driving everyone in her life away.

After dinner one night, Gregory asked her to sit down so they could talk. Her little husband looked stressed, his eyebrows pinched together underneath his wire glasses. He gathered his thoughts, his mouth sometimes opening like he was going to speak before he shut it again.

“Katya, I just wanted to say thank you for being so good to me these past few months. I know this must’ve been hard for you, leaving everything behind and moving in with a complete stranger. But I feel like we get along fine, right?” Gregory began. Katya nodded, her lips pressed together nervously. Gregory cleared his throat. “I’m very grateful for you and everything you’ve done, but uh… There’s no easy way to say this. I met someone. She works with me, and we’ve been growing really close lately, and I think she likes me too. I want to give her and I a chance, but I can’t exactly do that if I’m married.”

Katya’s blood ran cold. In her contract, it stated that if within the first six months if things didn’t work out, the marriage would be annulled and she would be shipped back to Russia and would be removed from the program. If Gregory was saying what she thought he was saying, Katya’s american dream was being ripped from her.

“You want to break up?” She asked, her voice small and scared. Gregory sighed.

“It’s very clear we’re not compatible, Katya. You’re an amazing person, but I don’t exactly see us living happily ever after. But Shannon, I can see a life with her. Plus, I took you away from your home! Now you can go back to your family and friends, it’s for the best.” Gregory seemed hopeful as he looked at Katya, but she was on the verge of a full breakdown.

“Gregory, please, I do not want to go back to Russia,” Katya pleaded. “I want to be here, there is no other way. You do not know what it is like.” Tears finally spilled down her cheeks, and Gregory looked away.

“I don’t know…” He seemed torn between his selfishness and sympathy. “Let me think about it.”

Katya nodded and stood up from the table. She didn’t say a word to him, instead she stalked into the kitchen and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and her lighter from the drawer then stormed out of the apartment. She had been trying to quit smoking, but panic was clouding her better judgement, and she needed something to take the edge off, and it was better cigarettes than drugs. She pushed out of the front door of the apartment building and sat down heavily on the steps. With shaking hands, she brought a cigarette to her lips and lit the end, her lungs immediately filling with calming nicotine. There was nothing that could truly quell the growing terror inside of her, though.

She sat on the stoop for nearly half an hour, burning through the pack and weeping gently, curling in on herself. That’s how Trixie found her. The younger woman was clearly heading to work, indicated by her all black ensemble. She froze at the sight of Katya.

“Kat?” She said softly, dropping down to the step next to her. “What’s wrong?”

Katya shook her head, stubbing out her last cigarette against the cold stone. She was surrounded by crumpled butts, their ashes smudged against the ground. Trixie hesitated, before putting her arm around Katya’s shoulders. At least Trixie didn’t completely hate her.

“Gregory is sending me back to Russia,” she finally admitted. Her words caused Trixie to recoil, horror clear on her features.

“He can’t,” she gasped. Tears welled up in Katya’s eyes again.

“I do not want to go back Trixie, I want to be here, but he will not listen to me. He met a new woman, and he wants her. He is returning me like I am some, some shirt that does not fit. But I am a personTrixie, and I do not want to go back.” She was growing hysterical now, like speaking her fears were making them more real. Trixie shushed her gently, pulling Katya into her side. Katya felt Trixie’s lips on her temple, warm and slick with lipgloss.

“I won’t let him do that to you Kat, I promise. You are not going back.” There was a fire in Trixie’s words. “C’mon, stand up sweetie. We’re going to go talk to Greg.” Trixie helped Katya to her feet, and together they walked back into the apartment building. Trixie knocked on the door, her hand laced with Katya’s. When Gregory opened the door he looked surprised to see Trixie.

“I found your wife sobbing outside,” Trixie seethed, her usually cheery voice darkening. She stepped forward, causing Gregory to step back into the apartment. “She told me you were ripping her dreams away from her so you could get your dick wet. How fucking dare you. You’re the one who basically bought her because you’re so much of a loser you can’t get a woman to willingly be with you. And now that you’ve found one, you’re just going to throw Katya away? I don’t think so, asshole.”

Trixie was yelling now, and Gregory was shrinking back from her wrath. He kept looking to Katya for help, but she couldn’t speak. She was stunned by the level of passion Trixie had when it came to protecting her. Trixie was still her friend, even if Katya had messed everything up.

“Trixie, I think you need to calm down,” Gregory finally spoke up, though he still looked shaken by the furious force that was Trixie Mattel.

“And you need to own the fuck up to your decisions and do right by your wife. Can’t you see how terrified you’ve made her? You’d be a monster if you made her go back.” Trixie’s words made Gregory’s eyes flicker to Katya, and he finally seemed to take in her pitiful appearance.

“I’m sorry Katya,” he said softly. “We’ll work this out, okay? I won’t make you go back if you don’t want to.” Relief washed over Katya, and she leaned into Trixie’s side for support.

“Thank you so much Gregory, thank you,” Katya breathed. Gregory shot her a tight lipped smile.

“She’s staying with me tonight,” Trixie butted in. “She’s been through enough.” Katya looked up at her, her eyebrows knitted in confusion. They haven’t talked in almost two weeks, and now they were back to sleepovers? No one was making any sense to Katya anymore.

“C’mon Kat,” Trixie murmured. Katya sent Gregory one last look before following Trixie out of the apartment. Trixie let them into her place and flicked on the lights. “You can grab something to sleep in from my closet, I just have to make a quick call,” the young blonde said as she pulled out her phone. Katya walked into the other woman’s room, quickly finding a baggy shirt to wear to bed. Once she changed and threw her hair up into a bun, she went back into the living room. She caught the tail end of Trixie’s phone call.

“You know I wouldn’t call out if it wasn’t an emergency… I can’t even leave my house Henry I’ve been throwing up all night… Yeah of course, yeah. Thanks Henry, I’ll let you know if I’m feeling better tomorrow. Yup. You too.” The blonde hung up the phone and turned to Katya with a shy smile.

“I am very confused,” Katya began, her fingers nervously fiddling with the hem of the shirt. “You do not talk to me for two weeks, but then you swoop in to protect me tonight. What did I do wrong to make you stop talking to me? I am so sorry Trixie, I do not want to lose you.”

Trixie frowned and stepped up to Katya, taking the Russian woman’s hands in her own.

“You did nothing wrong,” Trixie promised. “It was all me, okay? I just felt so guilty after kissing you, because you’re straight and have a husband who, by the way, I still want to piano wire. I’m a fucking coward and I didn’t want to talk about it or listen to you give me the whole, you’re a great friend but I don’t like you that way speech, so I ran away. You didn’t do anything Kat.”

Katya bit her lip and looked at their joined hands.

“I kissed you back, though,” she replied softly. “I thought that was why you stopped talking to me.” Trixie’s eyes widened.

“I don’t think I remember that part,” she admitted. Katya laughed, her heart feeling lighter knowing she and Trixie were okay. Maybe more than okay.

“You are also wrong about another thing,” Katya added. “I do not think I am straight.”

Trixie’s eyebrows shot up comically. She seemed to take in Katya’s words, the little wheels turning in her head.

“Okay, cool, so kissing me made you realize you’re not straight?” The younger woman asked. Katya nodded in confirmation. “This is a lot to process.”

Katya stepped closer to Trixie and placed one of her hands on her cheek. “We could do it again and see if that helps,” she offered. Trixie didn’t even answer, instead she leaned down and pressed their lips together. They instantly moved closer together, gripping each other tight like they were going to be ripped apart at any second. It was almost desperate, the slide of their lips. Katya’s hands slid to Trixie’s hips and she pulled the woman flush against her, the younger woman pulling back to catch her breath.

“Gregory is a fucking idiot,” she panted. Katya laughed and hugged Trixie loosely, her head going to rest on Trixie’s shoulder.

“He is a good man,” Katya defended. “Plus, If it was not for him, I would have never met you.” She pressed her lips to Trixie’s neck and felt the younger woman shiver in her arms.

“I’m so glad I met you,” Trixie whispered. Katya hummed, her lips trailing lower and lower. She placed one final kiss against Trixie’s sweet skin before pulling away.

“I would love to stand in your living room and kiss all night, but it has been a very long day and I would like to go to sleep,” The Russian woman said. She almost regretted her words when it made Trixie fully pull away from her.

“Of course, let’s go to bed.” Trixie took her hand and together they went into the blonde’s bedroom. Katya climbed into bed and watched Trixie change, before the younger woman flipped off the lights and joined her. Their bodies found each other under the sheets, their legs tangling and their foreheads pressed together. Katya fell asleep with Trixie’s breath fanning across her cheeks, and with the warmth of her thighs against her own. Katya had never slept better in her life.

Chapter Text

Trixie had a hard time focusing when Katya was around. She always found her mind wandering as she stared at the older woman, a warm fondness in her chest. The woman was so captivating even when she didn’t mean to be, and Trixie’s mind would wander with thoughts about the Russian. It was particularly hard right now. Trixie had promised to help Katya with her resume, and now the woman was sat at her table, with reading glasses perched on her nose and an adorable look of concentration on her face. Trixie should really be helping her put together this much needed document, but instead she was staring at the strand of hair in front of the Russian’s face, wondering if she should tuck it behind her ear or let her focus.

“I can feel your eyes on me, malysh,” Katya mumbled, not even looking up from the papers in front of her. Trixie could see the slight curl of her lips though, so she knew Katya was just teasing her.

“I’m just preparing you for life in the workforce. Your boss will be watching your every move, you’ve gotta stay focused,” Trixie joked. Katya laughed, light and wheezy, and the sound made Trixie’s heart jump. She was so gone for Katya, it was pathetic. Every little smile, every time their eyes met sent Trixie’s heart into overdrive.

“This is all very complicated,” Katya sighed, pushing away from the table. She’d clearly hit her limit with confusing paperwork for the day.

“Do you think Dr. Arroway became the first human to talk to aliens by not having a resume?” Trixie countered. Katya seemed to perk at the mention of her hero, but when her eyes flickered back to the table her nose wrinkled.

“Can we take a break? You promised to make me cupcakes if we did this,” Katya reminded. Trixie pretended to think about it, tapping her lip with a perfectly manicured finger before nodding.

“A deal’s a deal,” Trixie agreed, and a bright smile lit up Katya’s face. Trixie was so, so whipped. Katya didn’t even seem to notice the effect she had on Trixie. The younger blonde got up from the table and moved to the kitchen with Katya following closely behind. Seeing as cupcakes were really the only thing she could make, it was easy to go through the motions of gathering the ingredients and dropping them all into a giant mixing bowl.

“Your kitchen looks like it belongs to a child,” Katya laughed, coming up behind Trixie and wrapping her arms around her waist. “All of your bowls have that Barbara woman on them.”

“Her name is Barbie and she’s my idol,” Trixie countered. Katya grunted dismissively and tried to dip her finger into the batter as Trixie finished beating it. Trixie swatted her hand away with the whisk, but Katya took the opportunity to swipe some batter off of the wire and stuck her finger into her mouth. “You’re awful,” Trixie laughed. Katya shrugged, smirking around her finger.

“They are my cupcakes, I can eat them now if I please,” Katya shot back. “Even if they are not cooked yet.”

Trixie quickly poured the batter into the molds so Katya couldn’t steal any more tastes, then put the tray into the oven. When she turned around Katya had the mixing bowl in her arms, her long fingers already swiping up the remnants.

“Come here moya kukla,” Katya beckoned. Trixie rolled her eyes but obliged, leaning forward and parting her lips. Katya’s finger disappeared into her mouth and Trixie sucked on it lightly, her tongue lapping the batter off of her digit. She watched Katya’s eyes as she did so, and noted the glint in them.

“Now you are just as awful as I am,” Katya hummed as she pulled her hand away. Trixie could see a very distinct ring of pink around the Russian’s fingers from where her lips were pressed.

“It doesn’t count because I made it, I can eat as much as I want. You’re just a little thief getting in the way of my baking,” Trixie countered. Katya laughed and set the mixing bowl down on the counter again.

“It is very nice of you to bake for me,” Katya mused, stepping closer to Trixie again. Her cool hands settled on Trixie’s waist, and a shy look crossed the Russian’s face. This was still so new for them. They haven’t really talked about the mutual attraction they both felt. Things were still tense at home with Greg, and Katya was working through years and years of internalized homophobia. There was no need to rush into anything, but it left Trixie feeling confused whenever their lips met. The more they kissed the more comfortable she felt, but the more platonic it began to seem. They were still the same Katya and Trixie, so were they doomed to stay friends, nothing more? Trixie was falling fast, as she always did, and she didn’t think she could handle the uncertainty for long. She could be patient for Katya though, if it meant the older woman was happy. Even if it broke Trixie’s heart a bit more every day, she would do anything to keep the light in Katya’s eyes.

The Russian pushed herself up onto her toes so she could connect her lips to Trixie’s. The younger blonde quickly cupped Katya’s cheek and held her steady with her other hand. The height difference between the two of them was cute. Trixie was almost six foot while Katya was barely average, meaning she had to stretch to reach Trixie’s mouth. Of course, Trixie could make it easier for her but that wasn’t fun.

“If this was my reward for baking for you, I’d do it every day,” Trixie mumbled against the other woman’s lips. Katya giggled and pressed a soft peck against Trixie’s mouth again before dropping down onto her feet again.

“Then I would become fat, and that would be no good,” Katya countered.

“I wouldn’t care,” Trixie shot back. “It’s not like I’m the skinniest woman out there.” Katya clucked her tongue and squeezed Trixie’s hips.

“You are beautiful moya kukla. I like how soft and round you are.” Her hands wandered up Trixie’s body until she cupped the weight of Trixie’s breasts in her hand. Trixie’s breath hitched and Katya smirked up at her. “See? So soft.”

Trixie didn’t know how to react. This was taking things further than they’ve explored yet. Touching so intimately, so sexually, was new to their relationship.

“I’m going to burn the cupcakes,” Trixie squeaked. Katya hushed her, and let her hands drift back to Trixie’s waist. There was still a tension between them, the fuse now lit and the explosion seconds away.

“They will be done in twenty minutes, that is plenty of time,” Katya countered.

“Plenty of time for what?” Trixie asked, licking her lips. Katya pursed her lips in thought, her icy eyes darker than Trixie’s ever seen them before. The Russian’s hands wandered towards Trixie’s ass, and she squeezed her cheeks firmly.

“I want to explore my little doll,” Katya explained. Trixie’s heart was racing. She never expected Katya to be so forward with her. But this was a dramatic shift from her usual behavior, tentative and gentle. This Katya was so sure in her actions, so forward with her touch.

“You know I wouldn’t say no to that,” Trixie breathed. Katya giggled and pressed her lips to Trixie’s. A hand found its way between the younger woman’s thighs, stroking at the soft skin there. Slowly, Katya’s hand crept up her leg until her fingers brushed against the lace of Trixie’s panties. Trixie gasped against Katya’s mouth, so the older woman pulled away to watch Trixie’s expression as she touched her.

“I am glad you decided to wear a skirt today,” Katya chuckled as she rubbed Trixie through her underwear.

“It wasn’t very practical for cooking,” Trixie mumbled. Her cheeks were already starting to flush, and she had to lean against the counter to support herself. Katya had barely touched her and she already felt so turned on. It scared her how much power the Russian woman had over her.

“It is practical for a lot of other things,” Katya promised. She pushed Trixie’s underwear out of the way, and finally her skin came in contact with where Trixie needed her most. The Russian rubbed slowly against Trixie’s clit, like she was trying to learn the other woman’s body.

“Oh my god,” Trixie squeaked, her hands gripping at the edge of the counter. Katya’s eyes never left hers, her laser focus almost making Trixie feel embarrassed. But Katya always seemed to have this awed look on her face when she looked at Trixie. For some reason unknown to the younger girl, Katya seemed to think Trixie hung the moon and the stars in the sky. Trixie’s never had someone like that. She was always too quirky, too dark-humored. She always felt like the lucky one in relationships, that someone would settle for a freak like her. But Katya was different. Katya made her feel deserving of love. It was overwhelming, and Trixie didn’t really know how to handle the other woman’s affection.

“Women are much harder to pleasure than men,” Katya noted. She seemed hesitant to do more than stroke Trixie’s clit, her fingers sometimes going to her entrance like she was going enter her, then decide against it.

“Just do what you do to yourself,” Trixie encouraged. Katya nodded, her eyebrows drawing together in concentration as she slipped her fingers inside of Trixie. Trixie arched into Katya’s touch, a whimper leaving her mouth. Katya seemed encouraged by the noise and started moving her fingers faster.

“You are so beautiful malysh,” Katya purred. She pressed her lips to Trixie’s, trying to sooth her as she brought her closer to the edge. And god, Trixie was unraveling so fast. Her breathing was already shallow, her toes curling in her pumps. Katya may not be experienced but she was still skilled with her hand. She could feel that pressure building, her moans becoming more and more frequent. Katya’s fingers faltered, however, when the oven beeped.

“Oh my god, Katya, don’t stop,” Trixie pleaded. She was so close, her eyes were prickling with frustrated tears as Katya’s movements halted.

“The cupcakes will burn,” Katya countered, clearly torn.

“Please Kat, I’m so close,” Trixie whined. She rolled her hips down against Katya’s hand, trying to get herself off. Need coiled tightly in her stomach, and she felt like she was going to explode if she didn’t cum. Katya took pity on her and resumed thrusting her digits inside of her. Pressure built slowly inside of Trixie again until finally she came, a series of broken moans tumbling out of her mouth. When her vision cleared she could see Katya slowly licking at her fingers.

“How the fuck are you so good at that,” Trixie panted. Katya beamed, clearly proud of herself for being able to get Trixie off.

“I am a woman of many talents Trixie,” Katya reminded. Trixie was still pretty useless as she recovered, so the older woman shut off the oven and took the cupcakes out. They were a little darker than usual, but overall they still looked edible. Katya set them down on top of the stove to cool. Once Trixie’s breathing evened out, she pushed off of the counter and wrapped her arms around Katya’s waist.

“Want me to return the favor?” She asked, kissing her temple. Katya seemed to grow shy at her words, shrinking into Trixie.

“You do not need to,” Katya murmured. She put her hand on top of Trixie’s and squeezed.

“Hm, but I want to,” Trixie countered. She brushed her lips against Katya’s jaw and the older woman shivered.

“I do not know if I am ready moya kukla,” Katya admitted. “It was enough of an adventure making you happy. Please be patient with me.”

Katya looked like she was bracing for rejection, and it hurt Trixie’s heart to see. She turned the Russian woman around so they were facing each other and cupped Katya’s face with her hands.

“Hey, I’m not going to be mad at you for saying no. I’d actually prefer it, if you didn’t want to do anything. I’m not like those perverts you’ve dated before.” The stories from Russia that Katya have told made Trixie’s blood boil. She wasn’t surprised Katya was so skittish when it came to being physical. She wanted to show the Russian that love and sex could make you feel good and cared for. “You’re my best friend Kat. I just want you to be happy.”

Katya looked calmed by Trixie’s words. She turned her face to kiss Trixie’s palm and smiled.

“I love you malysh,” Katya whispered.

“I love you too Kat. So much.” Maybe too much.

Chapter Text

Katya didn’t think she was a good person, necessarily. She didn’t recycle, she didn’t donate to charity, she hasn’t stepped foot in a church in years. Good things shouldn’t happen to her. But life had a way of opening doors for her she didn’t think were possible. She was (almost) an American, and now she was an American with a job. Sure, it was as a secretary in an office, but it meant she could become independent, and it meant she could start working on her citizenship without Gregory. When she had interviewed, the man had promised they could work with her immigration status, and help secure her future in the country. It was like a dream come true.

Trixie had been beyond proud when she told her. Her little doll had promised to take her shopping to get her outfits appropriate for work. Even Gregory seemed pleased with her, promising to help pay for her and Trixie’s little shopping trip. She was supposed to start on Monday, so Trixie made sure to get Saturday off to drive Katya to the nearest mall.

Shopping with the younger woman was always an interesting experience. They may be close, but fashion was one thing they were divided on. Katya liked bold patterns and striking colors. She didn’t necessary buy outfits, but pieces she liked and would put them together based on her mood. Trixie on the other hand wouldn’t touch anything if it wasn’t in the pink family. She dressed herself like a young girl, and yet she somehow managed to look so good. Katya would not be able to pull off her look quite as well, so when they were browsing through stores together it was hard to come to an agreement.

“Kat that is hideous,” Trixie groaned as she looked at the skirt in Katya’s hands. Katya pouted, her fingers running along the soft fabric. It was hard to describe the abstract print, but she liked the way yellow and the green looked together. “Put it back, we have to find you stuff for the office.”

Reluctantly, Katya put the item down and they headed further back into the store. The business section wasn’t nearly as colorful as the rest of the store. Her heart sank as she slowly selected plain button downs, a few blazers, and some dresses. None of it was stuff she’d want to wear on any other day. But it was for her job, so she could suck it up and wear boring people’s clothing.

“Will you wait here while I try things on?” Katya asked as they reached the dressing room. Trixie nodded and settled down in a chair across from her changing room. She sent Katya an encouraging smile as the older woman shut the curtain. The first thing on her pile of clothes was a white button down and a pencil skirt. Easy enough. Except she still hasn’t quite figured out american sizes, so buttoning her shirt proved to be difficult. It wouldn’t close properly and the buttons straining around her breasts, revealing her bra underneath. She groaned and slipped into the skirt anyway. It fit better than the top, but it was still tighter than she was used to.

“Trixie, can you get me a bigger size?” She asked as she stepped out of the changing room. Trixie looked up from her phone and her eyes widened at the sight of her.

“You literally aren’t real,” Trixie grumbled, though there was a slight pink tint to her cheeks. Katya giggled and struck a pose.

“Miss Mattel, I filed the paperwork you asked me to, is there anything else I can do for you?” She teased while exaggerating her already thick accent. Trixie laughed, her head tipping back as she did so.

“You’re fucking ridiculous. I’ll go get you a bigger size to fit your tits.” Trixie stood up and Katya blew her a kiss before returning to the dressing room. She spent the next twenty minutes trying on outfit after outfit until she had gathered enough to fill her closet with. She had managed to find a good balance between professionalism and her own quirky style, so she had a big grin on her face as they left the store, both of their arms loaded down with bags.

“Did I ever tell you how proud of you I am?” Trixie asked as they walked towards her car.

“Yes, many times,” Katya replied.

“Well, I’m proud of you.” The younger woman leaned over and pressed her lips to Katya’s cheek. Katya felt like she could do anything with Trixie at her side.

…

Monday rolled around quicker than Katya was ready for. She showed up twenty minutes early for her first day, though her boss seemed happy to see her. Mr. Giovani was fairly young for a man in his position of power, with a thick head of brown hair and intelligent dark eyes. His suits were well tailored and were of a European cut, much like the suits she would see businessmen wearing on the train back home.

“Katya, glad to see you! Are you excited for your first day?” He greeted, his hand on her shoulder.

“Yes sir, I am ready and eager,” she replied with her own bright grin. He chuckled and shifted his hand to her back as he led her around the office.

“For your first week you’ll be training with our old secretary, Ginger. She’ll be showing you the ropes, explain your duties and how things work around here. If you have any questions though, my door is always open to you.” He squeezed her hip, and uneasiness furled in her stomach. He was just being friendly, Mr. Giovani was a nice man. But it still made her nervous to have him touching her so casually.

“That is very kind of you sir, thank you,” she said sincerely. Mr. Giovani grinned and dropped his arm, causing Katya to relax. Just thin a small woman trotted over to them.

“I’m here, I’m here,” she exclaimed as she hurried over to the pair. “Jesus have mercy, the traffic today.”

The woman had a drawling southern accent and dressed like she was coming from Sunday church. Katya was already intrigued.

“Ginger, I’d like you to meet Katya,” Mr. Giovani introduced. Katya smiled and held out her hand to the other woman.

“It is very nice to meet you,” Katya greeted. Ginger’s eyebrows rose as she spoke, but she took Katya’s hand and shook it.

“Where are you from sugar?” Ginger asked, not even bothering with formalities.

“I am from Russia,” she replied. Katya was used to people being fascinated by her accent. It seemed that not many people from her part of the world came to the states.

“I thought as much. Well c’mon honey we have a lot to go over today so we better get going.” Ginger took her arm and led Katya away from their boss. She gave the man a quick wave goodbye, and could feel his eyes on them as they disappeared further into the office.

“Do you like working here?” Katya asked as soon as they were out of earshot. Ginger didn’t seem phased by her question.

“Of course! The job isn’t too demanding, the pay is great for what we do, and everyone here is really friendly. Just watch of for the boss man, he can get a little too friendly if you know what I mean. Especially towards a pretty little thing like yourself.” Ginger spoke fast, matching the quick pace of her short legs. She was a whirlwind of a person, like that energizer bunny Katya saw on tv.

“I am not worried about that,” Katya lied. The thought of having another man in her life that treated her like a sex object made her stomach curl uncomfortably, but this job was too important to her. No one wanted to hire an immigrant here on a bogus marriage. She had to cling to this position until her citizenship was finalized. She could handle one man’s unwanted gaze.

“Great, then you’ll have it easy here,” Ginger promised. They stopped in front of a desk nestled right in front of the entrance. “This is where you’ll call home.”

The desk was pretty spacious, especially compared to the cubicles they had passed. It was cleared of any personal items, ready for Katya to personalize herself. An ancient looking desktop was the only thing taking up space.

“Are you familiar with Microsoft?” Ginger asked as she booted up the computer. She gestured for Katya to sit down so she did, carefully setting down her bag at her feet.

“My husband has been teaching me, so I think I know the basics,” Katya assured. Ginger’s brows furrowed.

“Husband?” She looked at Katya’s hand, specifically where her wedding ring no longer sat. Katya clenched her fist self consciously.

“We are not together anymore, but we are still friends,” she explained. Katya didn’t know how much she should reveal to the other woman.

“Well that’s…. Nice…” Ginger enthused. “I guess if you know the basics of Microsoft then you should be okay. Have you checked your email yet?”

“Email?” Katya’s never had an email before.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Ginger chuckled. “Here, let me show you the ropes.”

They spent the next few hours going over the different softwares Katya was going to have to master for her job. She wasn’t exactly skilled when it came to technology, but Ginger was patient with her and soon enough she was getting the hang of things. Lunch time rolled around though, so Ginger promised they would reconvene in an hour. Trixie was supposed to be meeting her for lunch, so Katya took the time to start setting up her desk. She opened her bag and started pulling out different items she found personal enough to keep at work with her.

First was a little American flag, proudly hung from its own tiny stand. Everything else was just assorted pictures. One was from her childhood, her young self wrapped protectively in her mother’s arms, bright grins on both of their faces. Another was a group shot of her and her friends from when she was a teenager. The last was a strip of pictures from a photo booth she and Trixie messed around in after a movie one time. She hesitated putting that one down, her eyes wandering fondly over the four images. The first caught them off guard, their faces blurred and their eyes locked on the screen instead of the camera. The next they were laughing, their hands clasped together as they had realized their mistake. The third they had calmed down enough to take a normal picture of them smiling. The last had Katya’s heart fluttering. Trixie had leaned over to kiss Katya’s cheek, and the adoration was clear on Katya’s face. She didn’t realize how alive she looked when she was with Trixie.

“Look at you, you’re an actual working class woman!”

Trixie’s voice snapped Katya out of her fond reminiscing, and her cheeks flushed at being caught in the act. Trixie was wrapped in a thick jacket, her cheeks pink from the cold and her hair wild from the wind.

“I am technically still being trained,” Katya countered. She set the picture down carefully, placing it right next to her desktop. Trixie eyed the picture and immediately lit up at the sight.

“You’re putting me on your desk?” She asked.

“Of course, who else would I choose?” Katya replied as she shrugged on her jacket. The Russian grabbed her bag and stepped around her desk, greeting Trixie with a kiss to her cheek. Trixie linked their arms together and they made their way out of the office.

“How’s your first day going?” Trixie asked.

“It is good! Mr. Giovani is very nice, and the woman who is training me is funny. She is from the South, so she speaks with an accent,” Katya explained.

“Oh, so you have a lot in common,” Trixie teased. Katya laughed and bumped their hips together. It didn’t take them long to find a place to eat, finding a cute noodle bar right down the street from Katya’s office. When they sat down, Trixie hooked their ankles under the table.

“So my friend is moving here next week,” Trixie began. “I haven’t seen her in years, but now she’s going to live three blocks away how cool is that? I want you to meet her, she’s so awesome. Her name is Pearl.”

“That is nice! I would love to meet your friend. How do you know her?” Katya asked.

“Pearl was actually my my first girlfriend,” Trixie laughed. “We broke up because we decided we worked better as friends, which worked out because I moved here not long after.”

“Interesting,” Katya murmured. She didn’t want the stab of jealousy she felt to reflect on her face. She had no reason to feel that way. Of course Trixie had dated other women before, and the only reason they weren’t together now was because of Katya. She wasn’t ready for such a big leap, and Trixie was so patient with her. Katya had no right to be upset. But she couldn’t tell her heart how to feel. If she could then she wouldn’t be pining after the beautiful blonde across from her.

“She gets in next Tuesday, so I was hoping we could take her out to dinner or something. Make her feel welcome,” Trixie suggested.

“Nonsense, she will be tired from traveling. I can cook for us at your place,” Katya offered. Spending a night slaving over a meal for Trixie’s ex lover? Not exactly her ideal situation. But whatever made Trixie happy. That was always her mantra. Trixie took Katya’s hand and squeezed.

“You’re the best,” Trixie said sincerely.

“I am not,” Katya replied, her words just as honest. She wasn’t a good person, but she was trying, for Trixie.

Chapter Text

As promised, Katya stood in Trixie’s kitchen with the makings of a feast in front of her. The other woman was picking Pearl up from the train station, promising to be back within the hour. That gave Katya plenty of time to finish dinner, but also plenty of time to drive herself crazy with panicked thoughts. Katya tried to keep herself occupied, chopping vegetables and humming songs from home. But everything in the apartment reminded her of Trixie. Her beautiful, infuriating neighbor, the woman who kept Katya up all night questioning who she was and what she felt. No amount of onion chopping could keep her thoughts from drifting back to her little doll. Picturing her with this mystery woman wasn’t helping either. She didn’t know anything about Pearl, just that she was Trixie’s first girlfriend and was coming back into her life. The anxiety that thought caused Katya was so unfounded because Trixie wasn’t hers to be jealous over, but having competition meant her internal warring had a deadline. She had to figure out exactly what her feelings were for Trixie before it was too late.

The door opened and startled Katya, loud laughter filling the quiet apartment. The girls walked in and Katya’s heart dropped. Pearl was unnaturally beautiful. Even wearing yoga pants and a hoodie, and having her long blonde hair thrown back in a ponytail, she looked like she was about to walk a runway. Trixie had her arm wrapped around the slim girl’s waist, and the two looked so good together, so young and full of life. Katya didn’t have a chance.She plastered a grin on her face anyway and hurried over to greet the two.

“You must be Pearl, it is so nice to meet you,” Katya enthused, taking the girl’s hands.

“Yeah, same. Thank you so much for making dinner, it smells awesome.” Katya could see Pearl eyeing the kitchen, so she squeezed her hands and stepping back.

“It is no problem. Everything should be ready soon, so if you two would like to go sit down I can set up the table,” Katya offered. Trixie waved her off though and picked up Pearl’s suitcase.

“How about you go unpack and I’ll set the table,” she suggested, looking to Pearl. The other girl nodded, a grateful look on her face. She looked tired from being on a train all day, so the chance to get settled seemed to perk her up. The two girls disappeared into Trixie’s bedroom and Katya moved back to the kitchen. She checked on everything, making sure things weren’t getting overcooked. She wasn’t alone for long though, as Trixie slipped in a few moments after her.

“Hi,” Trixie greeted softly, cuddling up against Katya. “This looks so good.” Katya turned and pressed her lips to Trixie’s, catching the younger woman by surprise. She didn’t pull away though, instead pressing closer.

“I missed you,” Katya murmured, her lips still brushing against Trixie’s. She felt more than saw Trixie smile in response.

“I wasn’t gone for that long,” she countered. Katya kissed her again fleetingly and pulled away.

“Too long,” she muttered while shutting off the burners. Trixie laughed and started pulling plates out of the cabinets. They worked together in silence, Trixie sometimes moving to the other room to prepare the table. Once Katya finished getting everything set up she brought the food out as well.

“You’re like a little housewife,” Trixie joked as Katya finished the final touches. Katya looked up and arched her eyebrows disapprovingly, and Trixie’s eyes widened. “Oh shit, I totally forgot. I’m such an asshole.”

Katya rolled her eyes and moved around the table to pressed a kiss to Trixie’s cheek. “Do not worry moya kukla, I could never be mad at you.” Trixie smiled softly and tucked a piece of hair behind Katya’s ears. Their eyes were locked intensely, and Katya’s heart sped up. She leaned in closer, just wanting to be near Trixie, like the younger girl was a magnet.

“Is dinner ready?” Pearl came out of the bedroom rubbing at her eyes, her hair now loose and tumbling down her shoulders. Trixie pulled away, and once again Katya felt a stab of jealousy.

“Yeah, are you like super hungry?” The younger woman pulled out a chair for Pearl, then sat down next to her. That left Katya to sit alone across from them.

“I ate a McMuffin at like, eight, but other than that I haven’t eaten today. So yeah, I’m pretty fucking hungry,” Pearl retorted. Trixie rolled her eyes affectionately and started piling food onto Pearl’s plate. Katya took a sip from her water as she watched the two interact. There was such a clear familiarity between them. Trixie was so comfortable around the other woman, leaving lingering touches on her arm or staring fondly when Pearl said something. Katya felt like she was intruding on the two’s reunion.

“This is so good Katya, fuck,” Pearl moaned after her first bite of food.

“Thank you,” the Russian murmured, playing with the food on her plate with her fork. She didn’t have much of an appetite tonight.

“Pearl, do you remember that one time we tried to make dumplings and nearly set your dorm on fire?” Trixie asked, her eyes twinkling at the memory. Pearl laughed, and god even that was attractive.

“Don’t remind me, I’m pretty sure I still have scars from when the oil splashed onto my hands.” The two continued to go down memory lane, recounting stories and giggling amongst themselves. Katya stayed silent, not wanting to interrupt. Sometimes she’d catch Trixie’s eyes, the younger woman smiling invitingly at her, but Katya never took the bait to join in. When dinner was over, Pearl stretched her arms above her head and moaned in satisfaction.

“That was the best meal I’ve ever eaten,” she sighed. “Trix, do you mind if I take a shower?”

“Go for it! I left a towel for you on the sink.” Pearl gave a little wave and left the room. Katya pushed away from the table and started gathering the dirty dishes. The sound of the shower starting soon filled the apartment.

“You were awfully quiet,” Trixie observed, leaning against the entrance to the kitchen. Katya left the dishes in a neat pile in the sink before turning to the younger woman.

“You two seemed like you needed to catch up, I did not mind. I get you most days, so I can share you for one.” She had meant for her words to come off as joking, but there was a surprising possessiveness to her tone. It made Trixie smirk and step closer to Katya.

“Jealousy is cute on you,” the younger woman teased, her hands settling on Katya’s waist. Why did they always seem to find themselves in this position in the kitchen? It seemed all of their sexual tension bubbled to the surface in this room.

“Bah, I am not jealous. Only silly little girls get jealous. I am a grown woman, who knows her friend will have other friends,” Katya replied defensively. Trixie shrugged and stepped back.

“I don’t know who you’re trying to convince, but okay.” She took Katya’s hand and tugged her out of the kitchen. “Since you’re being such a grump, why don’t we cheer you up with some Contact?” Katya always perked when her favorite movie was mentioned. Trixie made her sit down on the couch while she got the DVD set up. Once it was playing Trixie joined her on the couch, sitting a respective distance away. But Katya had other things in mind than Jodie Foster. With the sound of the shower as background noise, Katya shifted so she was straddling the younger woman.

“Um…” Trixie began, but Katya put her finger to her lips.

“Sh,” Katya protested, before leaning down and kissing her. She wasn’t holding anything back now, letting her building frustration from the night get channeled into her actions. Trixie tried to keep up, her hands roaming Katya’s body, flitting from her hips to her back to her stomach.  She didn’t have the same intensity as Katya, though.

“ya nenavizhu to, chto ty delayesh’ so mnoy,” Katya sighed, her forehead pressed against Trixie’s.

“What?” The young blonde questioned, breathless. Katya didn’t give her an answer, instead focusing her attention on Trixie’s neck. As she slowly kissed at her pulse point, careful not to make a mark, she started rolling her hips against Trixie’s. A soft gasp left the younger woman, and Katya felt hands on her ass, guiding her movements. A rush of pride shot through Katya. Pearl didn’t get to kiss Trixie like this, didn’t get her to react to her touch like this. What she and Trixie had was special, even if they didn’t have words to describe what it was. They were just them.

“Please Kat,” Trixie breathed, her head tilting back against the couch. Katya smirked and pulled away from her neck.

“Please what malysh? Do you want me to stop?” Katya slowed her movements and Trixie reacted instantly, her grip tightening to force Katya’s hips to keep moving.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Trixie seethed. Katya laughed hoarsely and pressed her lips to Trixie’s again. It was funny how Trixie had been the one to kiss her first, but Katya was always making the first move now. She was growing more and more confident in herself, not getting as caught up in the fact that she was kissing a woman. Trixie was so warm and soft underneath her, she wouldn’t be able to hold herself back if she tried. One taste of her strawberry lip gloss was enough to have her hooked. Though, Katya did have a tendency to become addicted easily.

The sound of the shower turning off caused the two of them to break apart. Katya quickly slid off of Trixie’s lap and curled up next to her, resting her head on the blonde’s shoulder like she was focusing on the movie the whole time. They both looked up when Pearl entered, her hair wet and a loose t-shirt hiding her lithe frame.  

“What are you guys watching?” She asked, looking at the screen with curiosity.

“The best movie ever created,” Katya responded immediately. Trixie groaned, but there was a small smile on her face, and her hand went to lace with Katya’s. No matter how sick of the film the younger woman was, she seemed to find Katya’s love for it amusing.

“It’s called Contact and it’s really weird,” Trixie added. Pearl hummed and moved around the back of the couch to settle in next to Trixie. She didn’t cuddle up to her like Katya had, but she did start playing with Trixie’s hair, twirling a white-blonde tendril around her perfect and dainty fingers.

“Is that Angela Bassett?” Pearl gasped.

“Of course, all of the greatest American actors are in this film. You have Jodie Foster, Matthew Mcconaughey, Rob Lowe, Gary Busey’s son,” Katya informed. Pearl snorted.

“Who in their right mind would reproduce with Gary Busey?” The new girl quipped. Trixie cackled, the force of her laughter bouncing Katya’s head off of her shoulder. The older woman sat up and pouted, though her hand was still firmly in Trixie’s so she shouldn’t be too upset.

“He is literally so disgusting. He looks like a tweaked out homeless man,” Trixie retorted. Pearl nodded in agreement as a yawn overtook her. Trixie cooed at the sight. “Awe, you tired baby?”

Pearl nodded and stood up. “I think I’m going to head to bed. It was nice meeting you Katya.” She turned and made her way back into Trixie’s bedroom. When she gone Trixie turned back to Katya.

“I should probably go to bed too,” the younger woman sighed.

“The night is young Trixie, do not leave now,” Katya pleaded. The thought of Pearl and Trixie curled together in the bed she and Katya have shared many times made her stomach turn uncomfortably. Trixie rolled her eyes and got up off of the couch.

“I need my beauty sleep bitch,” Trixie countered. With a resigned groan Katya stood up as well.

“You are already beautiful, you do not need more. That would not be good for my health,” Katya grumbled. Trixie laughed, light and flustered.

“You’re really affectionate today,” she observed. Katya took Trixie’s hands.

“I am having a harder time than usual hiding my love for you today,” Katya joked. Trixie grimaced at her words.

“Ha ha, very funny,” The younger woman forced out. “Now really, I need to go to sleep. Night Kat.” She squeezed Katya’s hands before dropping them and exiting the living room, leaving Katya to show herself out. Trixie’s goodbye left a bad feeling in Katya’s stomach. Something she had said upset Trixie, but she didn’t know what, or to what extent.

“I am an idiot,” Katya groaned, burying her face in her hands. She was letting her emotions get the better of her. She was being reckless, and needy, and not paying attention to the woman she cared about. Katya needed to get herself together before she really put a strain on her and Trixie’s relationship. But first, she needed to force herself to accept that she had feelings for Trixie. That it was okay for her to have feelings for Trixie. Once she did that, everything would fall into place between them. With determination now coursing through her, Katya slipped out of Trixie’s apartment and into her own.

Chapter Text

Pearl’s apartment was very fitting for the younger blonde. It was a fairly large studio with exposed brick walls and a hodge-podge of furniture. She was mostly unpacked with only a few boxes still sitting in the corner of her room. The two blondes were seated on Pearl’s bed, their makeup spread out in front of them and a large mirror leaning against the wall so the two could see themselves. Soft electronic music played from Pearl’s speakers, setting the mood as they got ready.

“I can’t believe you’ve never taken Katya clubbing before,” Pearl mused as she carefully sketched out her eyebrows. Trixie rolled her eyes.

“She’s older than us, I don’t think she’s into that kind of thing. Plus she doesn’t drink, so what’s the point?” The other girl defended. She had been nervous inviting the Russian woman to come with them tonight. There were things Trixie still didn’t know about Katya, dark things that the older woman clearly didn’t want to talk about. Of course Trixie would never push her to, but that meant she didn’t know how to tread when it came to things like going out clubbing. However, she would rather extend the metaphorical olive branch and have Katya reject it than not invite her and end up hurting her feelings. She was surprised when Katya accepted her offer, but something about the way her eyes flamed when Trixie mentioned Pearl’s name made her think Katya was coming for more than just a good time.

“The point is getting to dance with your friends and have an excuse to dress up slutty,” Pearl countered. The younger girl certainly had the second part covered. The neckline of her shirt plunged low, and her skirt showed off every one of her assets. The only coverage she had was the tight leather jacket, though she would probably abandon it once they got to the club. Trixie was dressed a bit more conservatively, but she was curvier than Pearl, so even a turtleneck couldn’t hide her cleavage.

“Whatever, she agreed to come tonight so stop complaining,” Trixie huffed. She checked over her makeup, practiced eyes scanning for any imperfections. When she decided everything was in order she started packing up her things. Pearl seemed to be finished as well as she capped her lipstick dramatically.

“Now’s the fun part,” the younger girl giggled, pulling out a flask. She unscrewed the cap and handed it to Trixie. “Bottom’s up, slut.”

Trixie brought it to her lips and knocked it back, swallowing down the mystery drink quickly. When she pulled it away she started coughing, the cheap alcohol burning her throat.

“You’re a fucking hateful cunt,” she groaned as Pearl cackled. The younger girl took the flask back from her and took a long sip herself.

“You should really know not to trust me by now,” she teased. Trixie glared and swiped it back from her, taking a more hesitant drink from it. The liquid didn’t hurt as much the second time down, thankfully. The pair passed the flask back and forth until it was empty and a happy buzz settled in their systems.

“You order the Uber, I’ll call Kat,” Trixie instructed as she pulled out her phone. Pearl shot her a thumb’s up and started tapping away at her screen. Trixie pulled up Katya’s number and called. The older blonde picked up after a couple of rings, her familiar voice causing a smile to instantly bloom on Trixie’s lips.

“Hello maylsh, how is Pearl’s apartment?” She greeted.

“It’s really cute, we’re pretty much done unpacking. Are you ready for us to come pick you up?” She replied. Katya hummed.

“I have been ready for a while, you two said you would pick me up at 10:30. Do you know what time it is?” The Russian shot back. Trixie looked at the clock and winced.

“Almost eleven,” she murmured guiltily. Katya laughed.

“Ah, so you do have a clock, I was worried you were lost in time and space,” she teased.

“Sorry baby but we’ll be there soon,” Trixie promised. Pearl was gathering her purse and gesturing for Trixie to start getting ready to leave, their Uber clearly almost there.

“I will wait outside for you,” Katya informed.

“Don’t freeze, we’ll be there in ten. Love you!” Trixie rushed out as she and Pearl left the younger girl’s apartment.

“I love you too maylsh,” Katya replied softly. Trixie smiled and hung up the phone. Pearl grabbed her hands and the two of them hurried out of the apartment building and into the car waiting outside. It was a short ride to Trixie and Katya’s apartment, and just like she had promised the Russian was standing outside. Her hair was perfectly curled, and her fishnet-covered legs peaked out from under her jacket. When the Uber pulled over Katya hurried over, sliding in next to Trixie. She smelled like cigarettes and musky perfume, making Trixie’s head swim.

“Hello gorgeous,” The Russian greeted, pressing a kiss to Trixie’s cheek.

“Hi babe,” Trixie replied, but when she spoke Katya recoiled.

“You smell like you drank an entire liquor store,” she complained. Pearl giggled next to Trixie.

“Drinks are expensive Katya, only dumb bitches get drunk at the club. We’re smart and pre-game,” Pearl explained. Katya rolled her eyes and Trixie shrunk back into the seat. Maybe inviting Katya along wasn’t so great of an idea after all.

“You are both very smart,” Katya said unconvincingly. Pearl giggled again, clearly too tipsy to pick up on the sarcasm. Or maybe Trixie just knew Katya too well.

“You’re being mean tonight,” Trixie whined as she laid her head against Katya’s shoulder. The older woman dropped her hand to Trixie’s leg reflexively.

“I do not know what you are talking about,” she huffed. “It is an exciting night, we are going out dancing. We will be having so much fun.”

Now Trixie was starting to worry. There was a tension in Katya’s voice, her words sounding forced. This might be harder on the Russian than Trixie thought. If it was so stressful though, why did she agree to do it? It wasn’t like she and Trixie didn’t spend a lot of time together. They saw each other every day. Was it because Pearl was involved? Was she scared that Trixie was going to replace Katya with the other girl? It was impossible for Trixie to know what was going on in Katya’s head. The older woman’s eyes were fixed on the window, a pensive expression on her face. Trixie leaned up and kissed her cheek. That seemed to startle Katya out of her thoughts, and she looked down at the younger blonde.

“It will be fun,” Trixie promised, and Katya flashed a small smile.

…

As soon as they stepped into the club, Katya’s anxiety swelled. It was such a dark familiarity, a place she knew all too well. Years ago when she was still a young girl, so full of anger and confusion she would lose herself in the Moscow nightlife, drugs and alcohol pounding through her system. It seemed like decades had gone by since then, but there was still that ghost of an urge nagging at the back of her mind, tempting her to sniff out her old habits like a bloodhound. She couldn’t turn back though, not when Trixie and Pearl looked so excited. They weren’t plagued by demons. When they looked out at the club they saw endless possibilities.

“Look, there’s a table over there,” Pearl pointed out. She grabbed Trixie’s wrist and started dragging her along, leaving Katya to trail after them. As soon as they reached it Pearl was shedding off her coat and pulling her wallet out of her purse. “I’m gonna go grab us some drinks, you guys watch our stuff.” And with that the blonde was off.

“She knows to get you a soda or something,” Trixie assured as she pulled off her own coat. She looked borderline obscene in her strapless top and high-waisted shorts, like a sparkling pink pin-up girl. For once her hair was up in a high ponytail, revealing more of her tan skin. She sat down in the booth and Katya quickly pushed in next to her.

“It is fine,” Katya said dismissively. She patted Trixie’s leg and felt the younger woman’s hand move on top of hers.

“It’s not just fine Kat, I want you to be comfortable.” Her eyes looked glassy but earnest as she stared at Katya. Trixie was always so affectionate when she was drunk.

“If I am here with you, I am happy. Do not worry about anything else,” Katya assured. That seemed to placate Trixie and she settled back into the booth. Her hand didn’t leave Katya’s though, her fingers now tracing small patterns against Katya’ skin.

Pearl returned not long after with a bright grin and her hands full of shots. She quickly lined them up in front of Trixie then slid in on her other side.

“Four for each of us,” she said excitedly. “Except for Katya, I didn’t get you anything.” Trixie rolled her eyes and Katya just waved her off. The younger two leaned closer together as they prepared to take their shots.

“We’re going to die,” Trixie laughed, her fingers wrapping around the first little glass. The two looked to each other, and when Pearl gave a short nod they started knocking them back. Trixie surprisingly finished first, slapping down her final glass a few seconds before Pearl. They both looked like they were in pain, but high-fived anyway.

“I need to sit for like, five minutes,” Pearl slurred. “Then we should go dance.” She slouched back against the booth and leaned her head against Trixie’s shoulder.

“I am going to go get a water from the bar,” Katya muttered before pushing away. She felt Trixie reaching out to her but she brushed past. She needed space, a second to breathe and think. Neither of them attempted to follow thankfully, and Katya made her way over to the bar. She ordered a redbull and leaned against the countertop, facing the dancefloor. Katya didn’t belong here, not anymore. She was too old for this. She had grown out of her partygirl phrase. This place brought back nothing but bad memories for her, so maybe she should just leave. Trixie didn’t even need her here anyway. Her and Pearl were having a blast. They seemed to belong in this place, and fit so well together. How did Katya ever think she had a chance? Her and Trixie were from two different worlds.

“You look like you’re about to burst into tears,” the bartender commented from behind her. He smiled disarmingly, and Katya just shrugged.

“There is a lot on my mind,” she admitted, fiddling with the straw of her drink.

“Alcohol is a good cure for that,” he replied.

“I do not think my sponsor would be too happy,” she chuckled. He grunted in understanding.

“Why are you here then? You don’t seem like you’re having any fun,” he continued. Katya’s eyes slid to where Trixie and Pearl were sitting. The two were pressed together giggling, then Pearl started pulling her out of the booth. They made their way to the dance floor, practically stumbling over each other with how close they were walking.

“My friend asked me to come,” she answered, gesturing to the two. Pearl had her hands on Trixie’s waist and the two were bopping around to the music, big smiles still gracing their faces. A few people around them were watching them with curiosity and intrigue in their eyes.

“Which one is your friend, the skinny one or the curvy one?” He questioned.

“The beautiful one,” Katya sighed. Trixie really was the most stunning when she was happy. She just had a glow to her, radiated warmth with her smile. Right now she downright looked like an angel. Katya must not be the only one who noticed how gorgeous Trixie was, though. Pearl pulled Trixie in closer, their bodies now brushing against each other with every movement. For a second Pearl’s eyes flashed to Katya, piercing through the crowd. There was a glimmer of a smirk, a hint of something sinister before she was turning back to Trixie. Her hand went to cup Trixie’s cheek and she leaned in, kissing her. Trixie looked surprised but sank into it, the corner of her lips curled up in amusement. The molded together, no longer focused on dancing but on the slide of their mouths. Katya’s heart dropped.

“I need to go, thank you for the drink,” she said quickly, slapping a couple of dollars down on the table. Almost in a haze, she made her way back to the table, grabbed her things, then pushed her way out of the club. The cold air caused a shiver to run down her spine, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was pulling her cigarettes out of her purse and bringing one to her lips. Once it was lit she breathed in deeply, like she was asthmatic and sucking on her inhaler.

Everything seemed to be crumbling down around her. She had already been twitchy all night, craving any sort of relief in her system. Then there was Trixie who always drove her crazy. She had thought maybe, maybe tonight would be the night she laid everything out there. But it was clear she’d lost her chance. Pearl was right for her. She was beautiful, and cool, and young. She could give Trixie the world. What did Katya have to offer? She was a mail-order bride with a dark past and a menial job. Trixie deserved so much better than her anyway. It was so easy to rationalize not being with the younger girl, and yet she could still feel her heart breaking.

The entrance to the club opened, and a cold-looking Trixie poked her head out. She hadn’t grabbed her jacket, so Katya could see goosebumps rising on her bare arms. When Trixie spotted Katya she stepped outside fully, wrapping her arms around herself in an attempt to keep warm.

“What are you doing out here?” She asked. Her lipstick was smudged around the corners of her lips, with the faintest hint of Pearl’s nude color smeared on her mouth too.

“I cannot be in there anymore, I am sorry,” Katya rushed out. She could feel the telltale burning in her throat and heat in her eyes, and embarrassment washed over her. She was an adult, she shouldn’t be crying over a broken heart. But tonight she was vulnerable, everything hitting her all at once.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. We can leave,” Trixie soothed softly, stepping closer to Katya. She uncrossed her arms to take Katya’s hand, letting her cling to her cigarette with the other.

“It is not this place. Well, not completely,” Katya sniffled. “You should go back inside with Pearl, you two are having fun. I can just go home now.”

Trixie blinked in surprise. “Are you upset because of me and Pearl? That meant nothing, she just gets flirty when she’s drunk. It’s not like friends can’t kiss. You and I kiss.”

Katya groaned and pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. They did kiss as just friends, but to Katya it was so much more. Trixie needed to listen.

“Maylsh, you do not understand. I do not want to kiss you as a friend anymore. Can you not see?” She dropped her cigarette to the ground and grabbed both of Trixie’s hands, making her look her in the eyes. “I never thought I’d want anything more than I wanted to come to this country. But I have found something that means more to me than America. I have never wanted anything more in my life than I’ve wanted you, Trixie. I am not scared of that fact anymore. The only thing that scares me is the thought of losing you, and I see it happening before my very eyes.”

Katya’s voice broke, and she could feel the first frustrated tear spill down her cheek. But she couldn’t stop now, she had to make Trixie understand. “Pearl is so much better for you Trixie. You two look so beautiful together. The whole club could not take their eyes off of you. I should be selfless and let Pearl sweep you off of your feet. But I am not a good person, and I want to be with you even if it will only end up hurting us in the end.”

“I don’t want to be with Pearl,” Trixie said firmly, her own eyes swimming with tears. “You’re a fucking idiot Kat.” With that she surged forward and kissed Katya roughly. The Russian wrapped her arms around Trixie, hugging her close. She was so cold, and Katya could feel her shivering in her embrace. But all she could focus on was the young woman’s demanding lips.

“I am an idiot,” Katya breathed as she pulled away. “I think too much, and I bottle things in. I do not know why you would want to be with me.” Trixie shook her head and smiled sadly.

“I’m gonna make you see yourself the way I see you,” she vowed. “Because you are the most incredible person I’ve ever met.”

They kissed again, softer this time, and Katya could feel hope blooming in her chest.

“Just to be clear, we are together now, right? Monogamously and lovingly?” Katya asked. Trixie laughed, resting her head on Katya’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I think so.” Katya smiled and pressed her lips to Trixie’s forehead. There was no promise of a happy ending, but she didn’t care. She had Trixie and that was all that mattered.

Chapter Text

Surprisingly and unsurprisingly, things don’t drastically change between Trixie and Katya. They didn’t go through that awkward first stages of a relationship, the couple had skipped right to the painfully comfortable phase. Trixie would still stop by Katya’s work when she could to join her on her lunch break, and Katya would come over after work every evening to cook dinner for her. They would curl up on the couch and talk about their days, occasionally swapping kisses when they felt affectionate. The only thing different was that there was no lingering question, no elephant in the room to avoid. When their lips met, Trixie didn’t question what Katya meant by it. She knew she was loved, there was no more doubt.

They spent as much time together as they could, but it was hard with their jobs. Katya worked the typical nine to five, and Trixie’s bartending kept her out late at night. It was rare when their schedules lined up, and when they did they were usually too tired to do much of anything. Tonight was a pretty typical night in for the two of them. Katya had stayed late at the office, so when she came trudging through Trixie’s door with bags under her eyes and a frown on her face, Trixie knew as a dutiful girlfriend she had to bring a smile back to her face.

“How was your day Kat?” Trixie asked from her spot on the bed.It was one of her nights off, so she’d been hanging around her apartment waiting for her girlfriend to come home most of the time. Katya just shot her a look, kicked off her heels, and climbed into bed next to her. The Russian dropped her head into Trixie’s lap and pursed her lips expectantly. Trixie rolled her eyes good-naturedly and bent down, pressing a quick peck against her mouth.

“I did not realize working in an office would be so boring and strenuous,” Katya grumbled. Trixie hummed and started brushing her fingers through Katya’s hair. The older woman relaxed against her, her eyes fall shut.

“I know baby,” Trixie cooed. “Working isn’t fun, but you need money to survive.” She dropped her hand from Katya’s head.

“Capitalism is a broken system,” The older woman grumbled.

“How about you go get changed out of your work clothes and we can lay down together?” Trixie offered. The prospect of getting up seemed to trouble Katya, but comfort outweighed her laziness. The Russian pushed off of the bed and rifled around in Trixie’s closet, settling on a tank top and a pair of sleeping shorts. She changed in front of Trixie, slowly unbuttoning her shirt and wiggling out of her skirt. Trixie couldn’t help but stare. Katya had such an athletic frame, her stomach flat and her powerful thighs looking like they could crush Trixie’s head between them. Katya turned so her back was facing Trixie as she unhooked her bra and pulled on the tank top. When she turned around though, it was clear to see the top didn’t leave much to the imagination. Trixie couldn’t believe a woman so beautiful would find anything about Trixie appealing. And yet here she was, looking so soft and adoring as she climbed back into bed next to her. Trixie sat up and pulled Katya towards her, kissing her softly.

The thing was, Trixie didn’t want to push Katya. She knew their relationship was pushing Katya out of her comfort zone. But there was nothing she wanted more than to pin the older woman to the bed and make her see God. It wasn’t fair, because she knew she should try to go at Katya’s place. But the older woman was sending her conflicting signals. Katya had no problem touching Trixie, making her feel good, but whenever the younger girl tried to return the favor she would pull back. Tonight was the perfect night to spoil her new girlfriend, though. She was exhausted from work, the tension clear in her body. Trixie could take care of her, make her feel so good if she’d just let her.

“Do you trust me Kat?” Trixie asked, tucking a piece of hair behind the older woman’s ear. Katya’s eyes widened at the sudden question.

“Da, of course. Why would you ask such a silly question?” Katya smiled warmly, her body leaning in towards Trixie’s. The young blonde took a deep breath before leaning back on her heels.

“Lay down for me then,” she prompted. Katya giggled and did as she was told, her head falling against Trixie’s massive pile of pillows. Once she was settled Trixie leaned over her, her lips ghosting along her neck. She wanted Katya to feel every ounce of love in her touch. She started at her collarbones and worked her way down, reaching the top swell of her breasts. She traced her tongue along the shape of them and felt Katya shiver beneath her. Slowly, her hand crept up the woman’s shirt to cup her soft flesh. Katya’s breath hitched, and Trixie took that as a good sign. Her finger curled in the neckline of the tank top and tugged it down until Katya’s pink nipples were revealed. Down her lips travelled again, this time wrapping around one of the other woman’s buds. Katya exhaled loudly, her back arching up ever so slightly to push her chest closer to Trixie’s mouth. Trixie’s tongue traced Katya’s nipple, circling the tip before sucking on it gently. A low moan escaped Katya, so airy it could have passed as heavy breathing. Katya was shifting underneath her, her thighs pressing together. It was clear she was enjoying Trixie’s pampering, but she wasn’t vocalizing her pleasure.

“You know it’s just us baby, you don’t have to be so quiet,” Trixie reminded her as she pulled away. She looked up at Katya to see the older woman blushing, her lower lip tucked between her teeth.

“I know,” Katya replied defensively. “Maybe I do not want to make a lot of noise. Do you think I am going to scream like a porn star over a little nipple play?”

Trixie giggled and pressed a kiss to Katya’s forehead. “True, but just remember you’re dating a woman, you’re allowed to like having sex with one.”

Katya nodded, and she looked less tense as she leaned back into the pillows again.

“Now let’s get you out of these,” Trixie murmured, tugging on the waistband of Katya’s shorts. She lifted her hips and Trixie quickly discarded of them. Once Katya was down to her panties Trixie reached into her bedside drawer, rifling around until she found what she was looking for. The tool was heavy and familiar in her hands, having kept Trixie company during many lonely nights. It would be perfect to relieve her girlfriend’s tension.

“What is that?” Katya asked, her eyes twinkling with curiosity. Trixie just smirked and settled back between Katya’s legs. She turned the wand onto its lowest setting, the low hum filling the room. Trixie pressed the head of it against Katya’s thigh, letting her feel the vibration. Inch by inch, she brought it closer to her panties. The older woman’s thighs spread, inviting Trixie to move the toy where she most needed it. The young blonde quickly obliged, pressing the tip against Katya’s mound. Even through her panties the wand worked its magic, and a high moan left Katya’s lips. She seemed like she was finally giving over to pleasure, no longer fighting with herself internally. She looked so beautiful with her long hair splayed out on the pillows behind her, her lips parted, her cheeks flushed. The sight was pornographic, causing desire to pool in Trixie’s stomach. But tonight wasn’t about her. This was the first time Trixie got to see Katya like this, so trusting and vulnerable. She wanted to prove to Katya that she could take care of her, it didn’t always have to be the other way around.

“Malysh,” Katya breathed, her fingers digging into the comforter. “It is not enough, please.”

Trixie flicked the toy off and set it down on the bedside table. She tugged at Katya’s panties, dragging them down her long legs. The sight of her in nothing but a tight tank top had Trixie’s mouth watering.

“I’ve got you baby,” she promised as she settled between her legs. Her tongue trailed along Katya’s thigh, and she bit playfully at her skin. She felt a hand tangle in her hair, and Katya forced her head towards her core. The forcefulness had Trixie groaning.

“God you’re so hot,” she mumbled, before letting her tongue lap against Katya’s clit. Katya’s thighs flexed around her head, like she was fighting clamping them shut. Trixie smirked and pressed her tongue harder against her sensitive nub. Eating out was probably one of Trixie’s favorite things. She felt so in control, every precise flick of her tongue bringing her partner closer to the edge. It was only heightened by the fact that it was Katya she was pleasing. Her emotions were so tied into her actions, and it only made her heart swell when Katya writhed underneath her, or made a noise of affirmation. She was making her girl feel good, and the pride she derived from that was beyond satisfying.

Trixie could tell Katya was getting close. The older woman’s heels were digging into her back, and gripped Trixie’s hair tightly. Clearly she was too focused on her growing orgasm to realize the pain she was inflicting on Trixie, but the younger girl didn’t mind. She just slipped her fingers up to join her tongue, curling inside her.

Russian words tumbled from Katya’s lips, low and throaty as her hips jumped off of the bed. With one final tug of Trixie’s hair she was coming, and the younger girl smirked as she helped her through it. Katya’s body collapsed onto the bed, gleaming with sweat. Her chest was heaving with how heavy she was breathing, and her eyes looked glassy as she stared up at the ceiling. She was the most beautiful woman Trixie has ever seen.

“Feel better?” The younger girl asked, moving up to press a kiss against Katya’s lips. Katya brought a hand up to cup Trixie’s cheek, her thumb brushing along her cheekbone.

“It has been a long time since someone has made me feel that good,” the older woman panted. Trixie grinned, smugness warming in her chest.

“I told you, you can trust me,” Trixie shot back. Katya laughed breathlessly.

“I should have known better,” The Russian agreed. Trixie pressed one more fleeting kiss to the Russian’s mouth before pulling away to clean up. She helped Katya back into her pajama bottoms, foregoing her soaked panties. She’d clean off her magic wand in the morning, but for now she just tucked it away back in her bedside table. Finally she got up to flick off the lights, bathing the room in darkness. She climbed back in bed next to Katya and the older woman quickly encircled her in her arms.

“I love you Trixie,” Katya whispered into the dark, her warm breath on Trixie’s cheek. Trixie’s heart sped at her words, though it wasn’t the first time she’s heard them.

“I love you too Kat. Now go to sleep.” Trixie felt lips on her temple, and she relaxed into Katya’s embrace, letting her own eyes fall shut. After such a vulnerable experience, it was comforting just holding each other. This wasn’t just sex, and feeling Katya’s hands on her waist, hearing her breathing getting deeper and slower just made her feel so cared for. It was a powerful thought, knowing she was the first person in a long time Katya let her guard down around. She gave herself over to Trixie, trusting her with her body. This was what being in a relationship was all about. The two of them hadn’t changed, but everything was so different.

Chapter Text

Nothing was more disorienting than being woken up to the sound of a phone at three o’clock in the morning. Gregory groaned next to Katya, burying his head under the pillow. She had half the mind to ignore her cell and fall back asleep, but if someone was calling this early in the morning it had to be urgent. She picked up the device and slipped out of bed, answering as soon as she was out of the bedroom.

“Hello?” She greeted sleepily.

“Kat,” Trixie cried from the other side of the phone. The fear in her voice made Katya’s blood run cold.

“What is wrong baby? Are you okay?” She asked, her heart racing.

“I’m okay, I’m at the police station. Someone robbed the bar and they brought me in for questioning,” Trixie explained. Her voice was so frail, she sounded younger than Katya has ever heard her before.

“What do you want me to do Trixie? Would you like me to come pick you up?” Katya asked, her voice low and soothing.

“Yes please,” the younger girl whispered. Katya moved back into the bedroom, not caring that her husband was still trying to sleep.

“I will be there as soon as I can malysh, I promise,” Katya said as she pulled out clothes to change into. Gregory looked up at her from the bed, curiosity evident in his eyes.

“Thank you Kat, I love you,” Trixie murmured.

“I love you too,” Katya replied before hanging up. She quickly started shimmying into a pair of jeans, her eyes scanning the room for shoes to wear.

“What’s going on?” Gregory asked, propping himself up on his elbow to look at Katya. He looked much more alert than before.

“Someone robbed Trixie’s work and she needs me to pick her up from the police station. She sounds very upset,” Katya explained. Her mind was all over the place. Every fiber of her being was screaming at her to get to Trixie, to wrap her up in her arms and make all of the pain she had heard over the phone go away. Gregory seemed to pick up on Katya’s frazzled state and sat up.

“I can drive you, there’s no use in you walking over a mile,” he offered. His words were like music to her ears. Katya sank into the bed and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Oh thank you Gregory, you are the kindest man I have ever known,” she gushed.

“Of course,” he replied. He threw the covers off of his body and moved over to the closet so he could change as well. They both got ready as quickly as they could, and hurried down to the apartment building’s parking garage.

The road was empty as they sped towards the police station. Katya’s fingers drummed anxiously against her thigh as they got closer and closer. The anticipation was killing her, her imagination going wild supplying different torturous reasons as to why Trixie was so upset. She said she was okay, but her voice sounded so broken. All because of a robbery. Did someone try to hurt her? Did they put their hands on her? It made Katya nauseous thinking about all the things that could be wrong with Trixie. The car ride only took five minutes, but every second had felt like a lifetime. Gregory parked the car and shut off the engine.

“I’ll wait here, you go grab her,” Her husband instructed. Katya quickly pushed out of the door and hurried into the station. For being so early in the morning, the building was bustling with activity. Police officers and criminals alike were mulling around. There were people handcuffed in chairs, their eyes glassy after what was probably a long night of substances. No one bothered to look up at her as she entered. Katya didn’t care about anyone else except for her girlfriend, though. Her eyes scanned the room frantically, her heart only settling when she spotted Trixie sitting alone in the corner. She looked exhausted as she stared vacantly down at her hands, her makeup smudged around her eyes. The sight broke Katya’s heart.

“Malysh,” Katya called, hurrying over to the younger woman. Trixie’s head snapped up and as soon as her eyes met Katya’s fresh tears began pooling in them. Wordlessly she sprung up from her chair and fell into Katya’s waiting arms. Katya held her tightly, and she could feel the younger woman shaking in her embrace.

“You are okay baby, I have you. Do not cry,” Katya murmured, rubbing Trixie’s back genty. Trixie sniffled and pulled away to look at the older woman.

“Can we go home? I feel like I’ve been here for hours,” Trixie muttered. Katya cupped her cheek and wiped an errant tear away.

“Of course, Gregory is waiting outside with his car.” Katya wrapped an arm around Trixie’s waist and quickly led her out of the station. The sooner she got her girlfriend home, the sooner she could figure out what happened. There were no visible injuries that Katya could see, but that didn’t mean Trixie wasn’t hurt.

Once they were outside Katya ushered the younger woman to Gregory’s car and opened the back door for her. She joined her girlfriend in the back and didn’t bother with buckling up, instead pulling Trixie into her side again. The young blonde finally seemed to be relaxing as she leaned her head on Katya’s shoulder, her hand going to grip Katya’s tightly. As the car pulled away from the station Katya pressed her lips to Trixie’s temple.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked the younger woman gently. It was like handling a frightened baby animal, she had to choose every action carefully or else she’d set her off again. Trixie shifted uncomfortable before she started explaining.

“Um, well, around one in the morning this guy walked in, and he just whipped out this gun and pointed it at me because I was behind the bar,” Trixie began, her voice breaking. “He said if anyone moved he would shoot me, then he made me get all of the money out of the register. He was only there for like, thirty seconds but it was so scary. I thought he was going to kill me.”

Katya felt a lump forming in her throat, her own eyes growing wet. The thought of someone pulling a gun on her Trixie, of hurting her in any way terrified the Russian. The reality of the situation couldn’t truly sink in because she couldn’t fathom what would happen if the man had actually pulled the trigger. Even with Trixie safe in her arms, she felt a shiver of terror run down her spine.

What was even scarier though, was seeing how this affected Trixie. Katya had never realized it before, but Trixie was the emotional anchor in the relationship, despite being half a decade younger. She never seemed to get shaken or upset. She’d take everything in stride, was able to joke her way through the pain. But there were no jokes now, none of that fire in her eyes. She looked truly disturbed. Katya was going to have to be the strong one.

“All that matters is that you are safe now moya kukla. He cannot hurt you anymore,” Katya promised, clasping both of Trixie’s hands in hers.

“I know, but I keep playing it over and over in my head. All I could think about was you and my mom, how horrible it would be to leave you behind. I’m too young to be having these existential crises,” Trixie sniffled. Her little attempt at humor calmed Katya slightly. They were going to be okay, of course they were. It was just a scary night.

Gregory pulled into their apartment complex and parked the car. Katya helped the younger woman out and together the three of them went back inside.

“Thank you again Gregory,” Katya murmured as they stopped outside of their apartment.

“Of course, goodnight girls. I’m glad you’re safe Trixie,” the man said before unlocking the door and disappearing inside. After he was gone the two women retreated into Trixie’s apartment.

“Do you want to go to bed?” Katya asked, stepping towards the younger woman to help her out of her jacket. Trixie didn’t seem fazed by the complete babying from Katya, she just silently let the older woman undress her.

“I don’t know how well I’m going to sleep, but sure,” she answered. Katya nodded, her lips pressed together with dissatisfaction. Trixie just turned and walked off to the bedroom, with Katya trailing behind her. They got ready silently, Katya watching Trixie like a hawk as she removed her streaked makeup and changed into pajamas. When they climbed into bed Katya didn’t hesitate to curl around Trixie’s back, pulling her against her body. She wanted to say something to the young girl, try to comfort her more. But there wasn’t really much else she could say. All she could do was offer her presence and understanding. If Trixie wanted to talk she was there, but she didn’t want to make her keep reliving the night over and over.

“Do you remember when I made you go to that yoga class with me?” Katya asked, rubbing her hand against Trixie’s hip. Trixie hummed.

“Yeah, the instructor had such a boner for you and I fell asleep during meditation time.” Trixie’s back was to her so Katya couldn’t see her face, but her voice seemed to suggest she was returning to her normal self little by little.

“And then we went to lunch after that, and you ate half of my food,” Katya continued. Trixie flipped around in her arms to face her, a small smile playing on her lips.

“Yours was so much better than mine, they should’ve said there were onions in it on the menu,” the younger woman defended.

“But I do not like onions either, so I could not eat your lunch,” The Russian countered. Trixie shrugged, her eyes sparkling.

“I’m cute though, so I’m allowed to steal your lunch.” Trixie batted her eyelashes innocently at Katya, and the older woman just rolled her eyes then leaned forward to kiss her gently.

“You are very cute, but cuteness does not fuel my body,” Katya hummed. Trixie giggled and tilted her head up so their lips brushed again. A comfortable silence settled between them. Being here in Trixie’s apartment, with fond memories and each other’s presence surrounding them, the tension from the night seemed to melt away. Nothing could hurt them when they were curled up together in this bed, not even dark thoughts.

“Thank you for trying to cheer me up,” the younger woman murmured. She wrapped her arm around Katya’s waist and tangled their legs together. Exhaustion was still clear on her face, her eyes puffy and dark circles surrounding them like a bruise, but she didn’t look as lost anymore. Katya smiled and took Trixie’s hand, bringing it to her lips.

“All I want is for you to feel happy and loved,” the Russian explained, pressing her a kiss to Trixie’s palm. “It hurts me to see you so sad. If I could I would protect you from every bad thing in the world, but I know I cannot do that. So I will be here to kiss it better when it is over. You have done the same for me ever since I have known you, so now it is my turn to do the comforting, yes?”

Trixie silently nodded at her words and cuddled into Katya’s chest. The older woman ran her hands up and down Trixie’s back like she would when trying to soothe a child to sleep. The Russian listened as Trixie’s breathing slowly evened out, her body becoming relaxed in her arms. Only then, when her girlfriend was truly asleep did Katya allow herself to drift off as well.

Chapter Text

Katya slept at Trixie’s apartment every night for the next week. Trixie’s boss had said she was allowed to stay home ‘as long as she needed’, so she spent most of her time at the apartment. She was fine when she was at home, but Katya could see whenever they went outside that she was uncomfortable, her eyes darting around and her grip on Katya’s arm becoming tighter. It was going to take some time for her to return to normal, and Katya was happy to help get her there. But it was taking a toll bouncing between homes so much. All of her clothes, her belongings, even her toiletries were in Gregory’s. She would wake up in Trixie’s, go to her apartment to get ready, come back to Trixie’s to cook them both breakfast, then go to work. When she returned she’d drop her things off at Gregory’s and change, then go back to Trixie’s, then go back to hers to get ready for bed and returning to Trixie’s to sleep. She was lucky that the two apartments were so close, but it was becoming exhausting. So, she devised a plan. Moving in with Trixie was a huge step, and they weren’t really at that place as a couple yet. Trixie shouldn’t have the burden of that kind of decision on her mind after what she had just gone through. No, Katya would just have to keep a few things at Trixie’s. She’d still live with Gregory, but a drawer with a few things to make her morning routine easier was acceptable.

When she came into the apartment with an armful of clothes, though, she was met by raised eyebrows.

“What are you doing?” Trixie asked. She was lounging on the couch, her freshly painted toes propped up on the arm.

“It is just a few things for the week, do not worry. It just means I can sleep in a little longer,” Katya promised, dropping a kiss to the top of Trixie’s head as she passed. Trixie watched her with confusion etched on her features. When she entered the bedroom, Katya dumped her things onto the bed and started sorting through Trixie’s drawers, taking her time to reorganize everything until she had an empty space for herself. Whatever was leftover that didn’t need to be hung up was put away, and the rest went into the closet with Trixie’s nicer outfits. When she was done she turned around to see Trixie leaning in the doorway, an amused look on her face.

“You done making yourself at home?” She teased. Katya waved her off and shut the closet door.

“It is just for the week, I will put it all away again later,” she promised. Trixie rolled her eyes.

“If you wanted me to clear out a drawer for you, you could’ve just asked,” she informed. “I know it’s been hard for you since you’ve been staying with me, I don’t want to be a burden.”

Katya’s eyebrows furrowed and she crossed the room to take Trixie’s hands.

“You are never burden, malysh. Even when you make me turn your pancakes into smiling faces,” she assured, a playful smile on her face.

“Shut up, you make it sound like you’re my babysitter and not my girlfriend,” Trixie groaned. Katya felt warmth pool in her stomach at the world ‘girlfriend’. It made everything feel so real whenever Trixie said it. The line between friendship and relationship was so blurred between the two of them that sometimes it felt nice to hear Trixie assure her that they were together.

“But you are my baby, maybe I am both your girlfriend and babysitter, since I am much older than you,” Katya continued to tease. Trixie’s nose wrinkled with disgust.

“Don’t say that ever again,” Trixie warned and pressed a quick kiss against Katya’s mouth. Katya laughed and squeezed Trixie’s hands.

“Fine, fine. Now that I am done invading your drawers, would you like some lunch? I think there are still some pelmeni leftover from the other night,” Katya suggested. Trixie perked at the mention of food.

“I could go for some food,” Trixie agreed. Together, the two left Trixie’s bedroom to go get lunch ready.

The next step in Katya’s not-moving-in plan was to bring her toiletries over. Trixie’s were all very fruity and sweet smelling, and while Katya loved the scent of her girlfriend when her nose was pressed to her sheets or when they were curled together, she wasn’t fond of how the shampoo made her hair feel after using it. Katya was much happier with her weird natural hair products that had an earthier, more natural musk. She packed them all up in a little caddy and brought them over to Trixie’s apartment. The younger woman had a more updated shower anyway, so Katya was more than happy to set up her things and strip down to step under the warm spray. She hummed quietly to herself with her head tilted back, letting the water wash away the stress of the week. She was so wrapped up in her own little meditation that she barely noticed the door opening. Katya’s ears perked as she heard the sound of rustling on the other side of the shower curtain, and soon enough the curtain was drawn and a very naked Trixie was climbing into the shower as well.

“What are you doing?” Katya screeched, her arms crossing over her chest to cover herself. Trixie rolled her eyes and pushed her wet hair away from her face.

“I was going to take a shower after my nap, so when I heard you were already in here I decided to join you. It’s not like I haven’t seen any of this before.”

She did have a point, but she had taken Katya off guard. Slowly, her arms dropped from her chest and she leaned against the wall so the water would hit Trixie more. She didn’t want to be a perv, but she couldn’t help but let her eyes roam Trixie’s body. She was so curvy, her ass round and her tits full. The water glistened against her tan skin, she was probably so smooth to touch. The sight of her girlfriend made Katya’s mouth water.

“Want me to wash your hair for you babe?” Trixie offered, finally turning around to face Katya. The Russian had to rip her eyes away from her gorgeous figure to meet her eyes.

“If you want,” Katya relented. Trixie leaned around Katya to grab her shampoo, but she faltered when she noticed the extra bottles littering the shelf.

“Oh, so you’re taking over my shower too?” She teased, grabbing Katya’s shampoo. After squirting a generous amount into her hands she started rubbing it into Katya’s hair. The Russian closed her eyes and hummed contently as Trixie’s nails scratched against her scalp. She felt herself leaning back into Trixie’s touch, their bodies brushing together.

“Okay, rinse,” Trixie prompted. With a grumble Katya pulled away and stepped under the shower head again, letting the water rinse away the suds. Her eyes were closed, so she didn’t anticipate Trixie’s hands sliding onto her hips. A smile quirked on her lips as Trixie’s hands continued to roam, the water making both of their skin slick. Higher Trixie’s touch creeped until she was cupping Katya’s breasts. The same gentle hands that massaged her hair began working on her chest, Trixie’s touch was always loving and curious, like no matter how many times she’s got to explore Katya’s body it was still a mystery to her.

“You want to get frisky in the shower moya kukla?” Katya teased, her eyes finally opening. The look on Trixie’s face reminded her of her own when she was ogling her body earlier. Trixie’s hands dropped to her waist again, her nails scratching against her skin.

“I always wanna get frisky,” Trixie promised. With a grin Katya molded herself against Trixie’s front and connected their lips. It occurred to her that they’ve never really been this naked together at the same time. Usually Katya kept her shirt on, or Trixie’s skirt was left untouched even after her underwear was abandoned. But now there was no mystery, nothing hiding their bodies from view. The bathroom light cast them both in a warm glow, and every inch of slippery skin was pressed together. Katya could feel Trixie’s breasts against her own, her thigh inching between her legs. The Russian’s body was flushed from the sudden excitement, and the curl of steam around them wasn’t helping.

Katya backed Trixie up against the shower wall, making sure their lips never parted. Trixie seemed to know exactly what Katya wanted, her thighs automatically spreading, one hand going to brace herself on the wall. Katya smiled and stroked her hand down Trixie’s side.

“Look how good you are for me malysh, I do not even have to ask. Or maybe you are just impatient, hm?” Katya’s fingers slipped between Trixie’s folds to rub her clit. She could feel her digits becoming slick with Trixie’s natural wetness, lessening the friction of her skin on her core. A long, shaky breath was exhaled from the younger blonde, but there was still that mischievous glint in her eyes. Always a fighter, she could never let Katya take control so easily.

“If I’m impatient it’s your fault for spoiling me so much,” Trixie huffed, her damp eyelashes fluttering. Katya watched as a droplet of water dripped down her cheek, trailing down her neck and curving between her breasts. Katya’s fingers pressed harder against her clit.

“You do not appreciate all of the things I do for you. I cook your food, I tidy your house, I give you pleasure, and I am not even your wife. It should be you aching to please me, to fall to your knees and thank me for everything I have done.” Katya’s words were punctuated by the methodical circling of her fingers, slow and unrelenting. She could see the struggle in Trixie’s eyes, trying to hold onto her stubborn will, but Katya knew her baby. She got so whiny and needy during sex, so different than her usual strong and witty self. Katya loved that she had the privilege to see that side of her. Trixie was the center of attention in whatever room she was in, she possessed such a strong presence. But Katya was the only one who got to see her like this, limbs loose and pretty lips pouted. She got to hear her whimper and whine, got to see those beautiful blue eyes swim with tears from being so overwhelmed.

“How about I take you out for dinner as a thank you for putting up with me?” Trixie offered. Katya smiled and pressed a kiss to Trixie’s neck, her fingers speeding up. Katya could feel Trixie’s hips starting to rock into her touch, the involuntary movement letting Katya know how Trixie was starting to be effected.

“Dinner would be nice,” Katya agreed, letting her tongue trace along the long column of her throat. When she reached her jaw she pressed another gentle kiss there, and she could feel how tense the muscle was from clenching so she wouldn’t make as much noise. Trixie didn’t reply, her hand moving to squeeze Katya’s hip instead. Katya smirked and pressed their foreheads together. Feeling Trixie squirm from her touch, the sound of her labored breathing was making Katya ache to be touched. But Trixie was pretty much useless when her mind was clouded with pleasure. So, Katya was just going to have to take care of herself. Her free hand inched between her own legs and she started toying with her clit as her other hand focused on Trixie. The fear of slipping and falling hard on her ass was present, but Trixie’s arm was still anchored around her hips, holding her steady.

“Fuck, Kat,” Trixie whined, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. Her thighs were shaking, like it was hard to hold herself up. Katya pressed a searing kiss against her mouth and started pressing her fingers against her with the clear intention of getting her off. Her wrist was starting to cramp, but she powered through, letting Trixie’s high-pitched moans and quivering body give her energy. It only took a few more dutiful strokes before Trixie was coming, her hips jerking off the wall and a spasm running through her body. Katya worked her through it, her fingers petting at her sensitive sex until she was done. The hand pleasuring herself sped up, and she let Trixie’s exultations of gratification fuel her own. Katya knew her body well enough to quickly work herself up to own orgasm, though it was much more subtle than Trixie’s. She bit down into Trixie’s shoulder and came silently, letting the relief from all of the built up tension wash over her. When she was finished she wrapped her arms around Trixie and held her tightly, letting the post-orgasm calmness glow between them.

“You always end up doing all of the work, I’m sorry babe,” Trixie giggled, pressing her lips against Katya’s temple.

“It is okay, you are American. It is not your fault you were raised to be lazy,” Katya teased. Trixie swatted her ass and the sharp sting made Katya jump with a yelp.

“Whatever, let’s finish getting showered or else we’ll run out of hot water.” Trixie pushed off of the wall and turned back to the assortment of toiletries on the shelf. “I still can’t believe you moved all of your stuff in here,” she giggled. Katya rolled her eyes and grabbed her conditioner.

“It is just for the week,” she reminded again. Trixie didn’t look like she believed her.

The final enactment of Katya’s not-actually-moving-in plan didn’t even come from the Russian. It came in the form of her husband, ever clueless and ever helpful showing up at Trixie’s door with a big box of Katya’s things.

“I thought it might be easier if I just brought the rest of your stuff over,” he said in response to the two women’s puzzled faces. “You’re moving in, right Katya?”

Trixie shot Katya a look, and Katya shrugged, just as out of the loop as she was. Of course she had brought some of her stuff over, but it was never her intention to stay at Trixie’s. Gregory shifted the box in his hands uncomfortably.

“Did I read the situation wrong? I’m sorry.” He was backtracking quickly, looking ready to bolt back to his apartment, but Trixie stopped him by stepping forward and taking the box from him. Both Gregory and Katya raised their eyebrows at the action.

“No, don’t worry about it Greg. Thank you for bringing her stuff,” the young blonde spoke, a bright grin on her face. Gregory’s face only furrowed with more confusion.

“Uh, no problem. I’m gonna… go back to my place I guess. You’re welcome to stop by whenever you want Katya.” The man carefully backed away from the door then scampered back to his apartment. When he was gone Trixie kicked the door shut and carried over Katya’s things to the table.

“Trixie, what are you doing?” Katya questioned, watching as Trixie opened the flaps and began laying Katya’s things out. Trixie looked up and grinned.

“I’m not letting you sneakily move in, I want this to be a team effort. It looks like most of your things are already here anyway.” Trixie’s nose wrinkled when she pulled out a figurine of an oddly proportioned baby that Katya had gotten from a thrift shop. She tried placing it back in the box, but Katya raced over to snatch it out of her hands.

“If I am moving in, you do not get to pick what things I get to keep and what we are throwing away,” Katya warned, cradling the statuette to her chest.  

“Since you are moving in, I agree. But please don’t put the man-baby statue in the living room where people can see it,” Trixie chuckled. Katya pursed her lips unhappily and set the figurine down on the table.

“Fine,” she relented. The Russian moved around the table to wrap her arms around Trixie’s waist. “I am sorry for moving in without telling you, I did not mean to,” she murmured. Trixie laughed and kissed Katya’s cheek.

“I get why you did it, you were just trying to look after me. It’s been a tough week for both of us, and I know this is kind of rushed but it feels right, you know? We’ve practically been living together for months, this just means you get to feel more at home here.”

Katya grinned and pushed up on her toes to capture Trixie’s lips in a kiss. They never really seemed to do anything like a normal couple, but Katya didn’t mind. It only solidified the fact that she was dating her best friend, and they could be ridiculous like this.

“You better make me a key now,” Katya threatened. “And let me keep my baby on the bedside table.”

“Done and done,” Trixie agreed, happiness sparkling in her eyes.

Chapter Text

Trixie knew her days spent at home were coming to an end. Her boss was a patient man, and Katya was an angel for taking on both work and looking after Trixie, but she couldn’t avoid going back to the bar for much longer. She was an adult, she could handle when bad things happened. Plus, she was going stir crazy staying holed up in the apartment all day. So, this was decidedly her last weekend off of work, and the upcoming Monday she would return to her job. Now all she had to do was tell Katya.

Her girlfriend came home with even more surprising news, though. As the Russian pushed through the door, her arms were full with a giant baby carrier, a diaper bag, and some sort of netted contraption.
“Do not be mad,” tumbled out of her mouth as she set the carrier down on the table. Nestled inside was a real, live baby staring up at the two of them with a blank expression.
“What the fuck,” Trixie blurted out, her work dilemma long forgotten. The baby wormed around in his little seat, his nose crinkling unhappily at Trixie’s loud voice. Neither women reached to pick him up.

“There was an emergency at home and my boss asked me to watch his son for the night,” Katya explained. “Of course I said yes, because he is the reason I have not been shipped back to Russia. So we can watch baby for a night.”

Katya looked unsure of herself though as she eyed the child. She looked at it like it was a dangerous animal and not a cute little bundle of joy.

“What’s it’s name?” Trixie asked, bending down to look at him closer. He was cute, he had his father’s curly brown hair and dark eyes, though the features looked much softer on the son.

“Matteo,” Katya replied. She leaned down next to Trixie and unbuckled him so she could lift him out of the carrier. A little noise of protest left the baby, but as soon as he was cuddled against Katya’s ample chest he calmed down again.

“Do you have, like, a list of instructions or anything? I have no idea how to take care of a baby.” Trixie had no experience with children. She found them annoying and messy, so she always found a way to avoid them. But with the little creature invading her home there was no way she could get out of interacting with it.

“Mr. Giovanni’s wife sent over the nanny’s instructions so I have a basic idea of what we need to do,” Katya replied. With one arm securing Matteo to her side, she reached into the diaper bag and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “Everything we will need is in this bag apparently. Except for his crib, that is that thing.” She gestured to the weird folded up thing she had carried in with her.

Trixie hummed and read over the list. It was all easy enough, just feed him and change his diaper. His bedtime was in a couple of hours anyway, so it should be simple enough.

“He seems pretty quiet,” Trixie noted, bending down to get on eye level with the baby. “Hi buddy, you’re pretty cute huh?”

His doe eyes widened for a second, taking in Trixie’s presence before his face crinkled. A low cry left him, and started building. Both women shared a panicked look.

“Oh god he hates me. Give him back,” Trixie groaned as Katya started bouncing the baby, trying to calm him down.

“Oh, you just miss your mama, yes little baby? It is okay, we will take care of you,” Katya murmured. Her words did nothing to calm Matteo though, his voice loud and shrill as he shared his unhappiness.
“Do you think he’s hungry? Does he need his diaper changed?” Trixie suggested. Katya lifted the baby so she could sniff at him. She shook her head and hugged him close again.

“He just ate, I do not think he is hungry. I think he just does not like being in an unfamiliar place,” Katya replied. A groan left Trixie and she started digging through the diaper bag. She found a little stuffed frog towards the bottom and quickly pulled it out.

“Look buddy, it’s your froggy! Ribbit, ribbit,” Trixie cooed, bouncing the toy in front of his face. That seemed to grab the baby’s attention, and his crying calmed. His hands reached out to grab at the toy, and a content smile replaced his wailing as he held the stuffed animal. Relief washed over Trixie. She was definitely not cut out for this type of thing. Even the slightest bit of unhappiness from the kid caused her to shortcircuit, and she couldn’t calm down enough to think of ways to help. Katya didn’t seem much better, her eyes lighting up with the same fear when little Matt started to cry. Even with the two of them together, this was going to be a challenge.

“I do not want to hold him anymore, but I am scared he will start crying again if I try to put him down,” Katya admitted, her voice low like she didn’t want the baby to overhear. Trixie winced at her words. The last thing she wanted was for the kid to start making noise again, they had just gotten him to calm down. But Katya didn’t look happy having the baby resting on her hip, the frog’s leg between his slimy lips.

“I’d take him off your hands but I don’t think he likes me very much,” Trixie replied. If just the sight of her set him off, then being in her arms would definitely terrify poor little Matteo.

“Do I just hold him until he falls asleep then?” Katya asked. Trixie shrugged, and Katya let out a discontent huff. Her green eyes flickered down to the baby and her eyebrows furrowed together. Matteo’s dark eyes were still wide and alert, so it didn’t look like he was going to sleep anytime soon. Especially now that he had a toy keeping him occupied.

“You’re the one who agreed to take him, don’t look at me,” Trixie countered. Katya groaned and carefully sat down on the couch, maneuvering the small child so he was sitting in her lap. He was old enough that he could hold his torso up with little help, only rocking slightly with Katya’s hands anchored on his waist. Trixie sank down on the couch next to her and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“Welcome home, I don’t think I’ve said that yet,” the younger women murmured, gently brushing Katya’s hair off of her face and tucking it behind her ear. Katya smiled softly and tilted her head so she could kiss Trixie properly.

“It is always nice coming home to you,” the Russian hummed. “I am just glad it was a calm day at work. If I was tired and stressed and came home with a baby to look after I would probably stick my head in the microwave.”

Trixie was taken off guard by Katya’s dark humor, and a surprised laugh let her lips. The older woman grinned and moved to rest her head on Trixie’s shoulder. Little Matteo started waving his arms, bouncing in Katya’s lap with happy noises bubbling out of him. It was strange having a child in their space. The apartment was such a safe space for the two of them, where they felt comfortable and content. But having the tiny intruder in their home seemed to make them both uneasy. Trixie wanted to think that it was because it was a stranger’s child and neither of them had much attachment to him, but she knew it wouldn’t be much different with any other kid. It was just the nature of their relationship. They were both in very peculiar places in their lives. Trixie was only twenty-four, she wasn’t even close to thinking about kids. The thought of being shackled down with a little brat made her skin crawl. Katya didn’t seem too fond of the idea either. She was still technically married to Greg, and was figuring out her identity now that she had the freedom to truly explore who she was. How could she ever focus on herself when she had a kid to worry about? It just didn’t seem right, and the silence that fell between them as they stared at Matteo in Katya’s lap said it all.

“Malysh, will you hold him while I go change? I do not want him throwing up all over my nice work clothes.” Katya picked up the boy again and Trixie hesitantly took him out of Katya’s arms. She set him down in his lap, mirroring his previous position. He seemed content enough, like he didn’t even notice the exchange. Once he was settled Katya grinned and stood up.

“I will be right back,” Katya promised then disappeared into the bedroom, leaving Trixie alone with the baby. She turned him around to face her so she could study him closer. Even though she wasn’t a fan of kids, Trixie had to admit this one was pretty cute. He was like one of those babies you see on diaper boxes or baby food advertisements. He seemed pretty mellow too after his one little meltdown. He was just quietly playing with his little frog, turning it over in his chubby hands and only occasionally grunting to show he was happy.

“You’re not so bad, huh little guy?” Trixie smiled and covered his tiny hand with her own. He looked up at her and blinked his doe eyes, this time with curiosity and not fear. He reached up and grabbed a piece of her long hair, pulling on it gently. Trixie rolled her eyes and unhooked his fingers from her hair.

“Not for you,” she chided. He huffed and smacked his hand against his frog before grasping it again. She couldn’t help but smile at the baby’s antics. Just then, Katya reentered the room dressed in pajama pants and one of Trixie’s old college t-shirts.

“Look at you two getting along,” the older woman teased. Trixie rolled her eyes and held out the baby to her again. Without a word Katya took him back and settled on the couch. They fell into silence again. It was hard to fall into their usual nightly routine with such a big intrusion into their normal lives.

“Wanna put on a movie or something?” Trixie offered.

“As long as it is okay for baby boss to watch,” Katya agreed. Trixie booted up the rental service and started scrolling through PG movies, looking for one that looked at least semi interesting. Finally she settled on some stupid animated film that looked like it was trying way too hard to be Disney. Once it started playing Matteo’s attention was drawn in, the cartoonish voices and bright colors drawing him in. The two women shared a look before Katya carefully set him back in his carrier, angling it so he still had a good view of the screen. When he didn’t start crying they both let out a sigh of relief. Katya stood up off of the couch and stretched her arms over her head.

“Have you eaten dinner yet malysh?” Katya asked.
“Yeah, I made some spaghetti. There should be some left in the fridge.”
Katya nodded and moved into the kitchen. Trixie watched as she pulled out the tupperware and dumped it onto a plate before sticking it in the microwave. When it finished Katya grabbed a fork and returned to the couch. Normally they didn’t eat there, but Trixie wasn’t going to say anything, not when Katya was leaning into her side and smiling so contently. After she took her first bite, Katya moaned and turned to Trixie.

“This is good,” she enthused, squeezing Trixie’s hand. “You are a good little chef after all!”

Trixie rolled her eyes and turned to watch the movie, mostly to hide the blush growing on her cheeks. Katya went back to eating her dinner. She must’ve been hungry, because her fork was scraping against the plate in no time. In some sort of universal symmetry, Matteo started crying just as Katya was finished.

“I think now is his dinnertime,” The Russian explained, lifting him out of his carrier. “Can you make a bottle for him? Everything is in diaper bag.”

Trixie nodded and started rifling through the bag again. She found his bottle and formula along with the instructions. When she went into the kitchen to make it though, she noticed how specific it was, down to the exact temperature of the milk.

“Kat, do we have one of those cooking thermometers?” Trixie asked.

“What? No, I do not think so,” she replied.

“Fuck, we’re going to have to borrow one then,” Trixie sighed. “I’m going to go ask Greg if he has one.”

The young blonde quickly exited the apartment to go knock on Greg’s door. It took him longer than usual to answer.

“What can I do for you Trixie?” He asked, a bright grin on his face. Trixie has never seen him in such a good mood.

“Do you have a cooking thermometer? Katya and I are babysitting and I need to make sure his formula is the right temperature,” she explained.

“Sure, c’mon in!” When Trixie stepped through the door she noticed a woman sitting at the table. She was a pretty girl, probably older than Kaya,  with chestnut hair and a friendly round face. She waved shyly at the two of them. “Oh right, Trixie this is Shannon. Shannon, this is my neighbor Trixie.”
“Hi, it’s great to meet you,” Shannon greeted. Trixie tried to mask the shock on her face with a polite smile.
“Nice to meet you too.” Greg moved into the kitchen to hunt down the thermometer, leaving the two women together.

“So you’re babysitting?” Shannon asked curiously.

“Yeah, my girlfriend’s boss had an emergency so now we’re looking after his baby for the night,” Trixie explained. The other woman’s eyes lit up.

“Oh I just love kids, you two are so lucky,” Shannon sighed. Trixie’s eyebrows arched at her words.

“Do you want to come meet him? He’s a little fussy right now because he’s hungry but I’m sure Katya would love to have someone who’s actually good with kids around.” Shannon looked at Trixie like she was offering the woman the keys to the city at her offer.

“Oh Greg, can we please go see the baby?” She asked as Greg returned to the room, thermometer in hand.

“Of course honey,” he replied, that same dopey grin on his face. It was weird yet oddly heartwarming seeing Greg so happy. He was such a quiet, mousy man. Trixie wasn’t used to him expressing so much emotion. Shannon got up from the table and Trixie led the two of them back to her apartment.

“Kat, I brought help,” Trixie joked as she opened the door. Her girlfriend looked up from the couch, rocking the fussy baby in her arms. As soon as Shannon laid eyes on him she squealed excitedly.

“Oh he’s so precious,” she sighed, automatically going to sit down next to Katya. “Hi, I’m sorry for intruding. I’m Shannon, Greg’s girlfriend.”

Kat’s eyebrows shot up much like Trixie’s did.

“It is nice to meet you Shannon. I bet you are here for this little guy, yes? Matteo is just a little hungry, I am sorry.”

As Katya showed off the baby to the fawning woman, Trixie grabbed Greg’s arm and pulled him into the kitchen.

“So Shannon, huh?” She teased as she started preparing the baby’s bottle. Greg rubbed the back of his neck and smiled bashfully.

“Yeah, she’s great. I honestly never thought I’d ever meet someone like her, you know? But I care about her and she cares about me just as much.” His eyes wandered into the living room where Katya was passing Matteo over to Shannon. There was such joy in her eyes as she looked down at the child in her arms. Clearly she had more maternal instincts than Trixie and Katya combined.

“She seems great, I’m happy for you Greg,” Trixie replied honestly.

“Thanks Trixie. How are things with you and Katya?”

Trixie shrugged as she watched the water in the pot come to a boil. “Things are great, actually. She’s been working so hard lately, so she’s been kind of stressed. I think I’m going to go back to work on Monday so I can start helping out again.”
She shut off the water and watched the bubbles lessen. Then she grabbed the thermometer and stuck it into the pot. She just had to wait for the temperature to drop low enough to mix with the formula.
“How are you two doing with babysitting duty?” He asked. Trixie groaned.

“I don’t think either of us are meant to be parents. He literally took one look at me and started crying when she first got home.”

Greg laughed, covering his mouth to try to smother the sound. Trixie shot him a glare.

“I’m sorry, that’s too funny. I’m surprised Katya doesn’t like kids though, she seems very motherly,” Greg replied.

“I think she definitely likes taking care of people, but for some reason I don’t think that extends to kids.”

The temperature was low enough now, so Trixie measured out the perfect amount and poured it into the bottle. Next was the formula, which she meticulously mixed in until the drink was perfectly milky looking. She and Greg returned to the living room and the bottle was passed off to Katya. Shannon reluctantly gave the baby back so Katya could feed him.

“We should let you get back to your night,” the woman said as she moved to Greg’s side.

“It was nice to meet you,” Trixie replied with a grin. The four adults exchanged ‘goodnight’s’ as the happy couple left the apartment. Once they were alone again, Trixie sagged down onto the couch next to Katya. Matteo was suckling contently at the bottle, milk bubbling around his lips and dripping down his chin. Katya had a towel laid over his chest, and whenever too much started to spill she wiped it away carefully.

“After this we just have to burp him and make sure his diaper is changed then we can put him to bed,” Katya explained, relief evident in her voice. Trixie hummed and brushed her fingers through Katya’s hair as the baby finished eating.
Getting him ready for bed flashed by like a blur. He spat up all over his little feeding towel as Katya burped him, and the two struggled with changing his messy diaper when it came time for that. They were almost as tired as the baby was when they finally set up his crib and laid him down for bed.

“The paper says he should sleep through the night,” Katya explained as the two of them climbed into their own bed. He was nestled right in the corner of their room for easy access incase he did need their assistance at some point.

“Do you want to take turns if he does start making a fuss?” Trixie asked. Katya shook her head and pressed a quick kiss to Trixie’s lips.

“No malysh, I can handle the baby. You sleep.”

Trixie nodded, too tired to fight her on the subject. The kid would probably be gone by the time she woke up anyway, the nanny stopping by at eight to take him off of their hands.

“Goodnight baby,” Trixie hummed, pulling the covers up to her chin. She felt Katya’s arm wrap around her waist as the older woman settled down for bed as well.

“Goodnight moya kukla.”

Trixie slept through the night, which meant the baby either didn’t wake up or Katya was good about keeping quiet. When she woke, every trace of little Matteo was gone, and Katya was soundly asleep, clearly exhausted from yesterday’s adventure.

“We are never going to be parents,” Trixie murmured with a smile, her fingers tracing down Katya’s arm. She didn’t even stir at the touch.

Chapter Text

Katya didn’t know where her bad mood came from. It could be the weather, the cloudy skies and blanket of snow reminding her too much of her home. Maybe it was the fact that she was so cooped up, going from her small apartment to her stuffy office building. Or maybe it was because she was so isolated, her only companion being her roommate, girlfriend, and best friend all rolled into one. Something was setting Katya on edge, and it was starting to affect her relationship.

At first she didn’t even notice it was happening, the subtle resentment that started growing. It was the little things, like Trixie leaving messes everywhere for Katya to clean, or not telling her when she was going to be staying late at work. Nothing major, or even really a reason for Katya to be upset. But she could feel the annoyance at every little thing her girlfriend did wrong. When she finally did realize what was happening, guilt immediately washed over her. Trixie was her favorite person in the entire world, her heart used to soar at the mere thought of her. But now, Trixie was becoming just another nuisance nagging at Katya.

She could tell that Trixie was starting to notice, too. Things were slowly becoming more tense in the apartment, their conversations not flowing as easily as they used to. Katya would come home, and Trixie would give one word of greeting before going back to what she was doing. Katya would wake up in the morning and go to work without so much as a kiss goodbye anymore. They weren’t talking about it, so every time they were in a room together there was this giant elephant taunting Katya, reminding her that she was ruining the best thing she’s ever had.

She tried to take her mind off things by decorating the apartment for Christmas. Trixie had a few things she’d collected over the years, but an ancient, shedding, fake tree and a bunch of Barbie ornaments didn’t really scream Christmas. So Katya went out and bought as many decorations as she could, filling the hole in her heart with twinkling gold tinsel and warm red ornaments. It took her a day to completely transform the apartment into a winter wonderland, and it was honestly the best day she’d had in awhile. She had the place to herself, with soothing Christmas music playing from hidden speakers and the smell of baking cookies seeping from the kitchen. She was alone, and content, happily distracted with the task at hand. Even when she heard Trixie’s keys at the door, her good mood didn’t dull.

Trixie’s eyes widened when she entered the apartment. Katya bit her lip as she watched Trixie take everything in.

“You’ve been busy,” the young blonde said carefully as she shucked off her jacket. There were snowflakes dusting her hair, the cold making her skin flushed.

“I was just getting in the holiday spirit. I thought Christmas was a big celebration here,” Katya replied. Trixie hummed and without a word moved into the bedroom. The breezy dismissiveness made Katya’s stomach twist uncomfortably. She didn’t do all of this for Trixie, but a little appreciation would have been nice. Hell, appreciation for anything she did would have been welcome. But Katya was a like a silent slave, dutifully going through her chores without even a ‘thank you’. At least when she was with Gregory, she expected it. It was basically written into her contract. She was to play the role of cute little housewife, a mailorder maid with benefits. But she never expected this from Trixie. There were no contracts here, no iffy websites that still used comic sans to communicate through. They were supposed to be equals who were in this because they cared. Katya wasn’t risking her citizenship just to do the same thing one door over. Her frustration was all becoming too much.

“Did you make cookies?” Trixie asked as she reentered the room.

“Clearly,” Katya snapped. Trixie looked shocked at Katya’s sudden cold nature, and Katya didn’t blame her. There was nothing normal about the moods Katya was going through, but she couldn’t hold them in any longer. She was breaking, her cool Russian exterior melting away to reveal the turmoil underneath.

“God, what crawled into your ass today?” Trixie grumbled. Katya’s hands clenched at her side. The floodgates were open now, she couldn’t stop the emotions from tumbling out.

“It is not just today, it is every day. Every day I work long shifts only to come home to do everything here. And I would not mind doing all of the cooking and cleaning and laundry if I got at least one thank you. But you say nothing! It is not fun for me to do those things, but I do them because I care about you. I just want the same kind of care from you. Even now you walk in and do not say a word about the work I put in to make our home ready for Christmas, you just ask about food once again. Am I your girlfriend Trixie? Or am I your mother?”

The room fell silent after Katya’s rant. The Russian couldn’t read Trixie’s expression, her face cold and guarded. It would’ve been better if she shot back, gave some sort of fight. But the girl was silent, processing every word Katya flung at her. Regret immediately started to wash over Katya.

“Trixie I am sorry I-”

“No, save it,” Trixie said, cutting her off. “You said what you wanted to say. No need to apologize.”

The iciness in her tone sent a shiver down Katya’s spine. She hated this, she hated what she had done. Why couldn’t she just let them be happy? It wasn’t like she’d had a problem with things before. It just all of the sudden started to bother her, an itch at the back of her mind driving her crazy.

Katya didn’t know what to say, so she just nodded and turned away from Trixie to fiddle with a decoration on the tree. Behind her she heard Trixie close the bedroom door, the noise echoing like a gunshot throughout the apartment.

…

There was nothing more paradoxical than an unhappy home so festively decorated. After Katya’s little blow-up, things became even worse. They spent as much time apart as they could, and when Katya climbed into bed, it was to the sight of Trixie’s back. The younger woman seemed to have taken Katya’s words to heart, though. Katya always cooked for two still, but Trixie wouldn’t touch it. She stubbornly made her own meals, and methodically cleaned up after herself. There was nothing for Katya to complain about anymore, but it made her yearn for it. Maybe it was irksome having to work so hard, but Trixie’s content smile whenever they sat down for a meal, her peaceful face when she laid tangled up in the comforter, her loud cackle as they chased each other around the apartment tossing popcorn at each other, it was worth every miserable second. She would scrub the entire apartment top to bottom if it meant Trixie would even look at her again. But when Trixie was angry, she knew how to hold a grudge. She wasn’t going to talk about the problem with Katya, she was going to let her suffer in silence. Katya was fed up.

She cornered Trixie in their room, leaning against the doorway so she couldn’t escape. Trixie tried to shoot her that same blank expression, but Katya could see the annoyance in her eyes. At least she was getting something out of her.

“You cannot keep ignoring me malysh,” Katya murmured. Trixie huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. She was looking everywhere but Katya, still not giving her the satisfaction.

“I’m just going through a phase Mom, every girl my age does,” Trixie shot back. Katya bit her tongue to keep from groaning in frustration.

“I have told you I am sorry, I do not know what else to say,” Katya pleaded. Trixie scoffed.

“You said plenty.” She looked insecure now, shifting her weight from foot to foot. Katya knew her words had hurt, but she didn’t realize how close to heart Trixie had taken them.

“I should not have said those things, you are not a burden. You do not ask me to do these things for you, I chose to.” Katya took a step forward and Trixie leaned away.

“Right, but I’m still the selfish bitch who treats you like a servant. I was doing just fine before you Katya, believe it or not. I’m a grown woman fully capable of taking care of myself. It you actually realized this you would stop trying to baby me and start treating me like an adult. Because you’re right, I never asked for you to do those things.”

Katya winced, Trixie’s words like a slap to the face. She had a point, but the venom behind her words were what hurt.

“I am sorry,” Katya whispered. She could feel her throat growing tighter, and she was ready to admit defeat on this one so she could escape Trixie’s anger. The younger girl wavered, her sharp eyes lingering on Katya. There was a flicker of remorse, but it was quickly replaced by that same bitterness.

“I know, you’ve said it a couple of times,” she huffed. Katya didn’t want to be in this apartment anymore. She felt suffocated by the dark atmosphere filling the once loving space. She quickly turned on her heel and left the bedroom, only stopping to grab her jacket and hat before she was out the door. She didn’t know how to fix this, and the thought that she might have permanently damaged what she and Trixie had sent fat tears rolling down her cheeks.

***

Katya found herself sitting in the cafe on the corner for an hour as she tried to clear her head. She had bought herself a cup of coffee, wishing the bitter drink was the smooth heat of a cigarette, but she’d given up smoking when Trixie complained. So much had changed because of Trixie, Katya felt like a better person. She was happier, the happiest she’s ever been in her life. If she had fucked this up over one stupid fight then she wouldn’t be able to forgive herself. But it was like talking to a wall. She wanted to make things right, but if Trixie didn’t want to fix things then there was nothing Katya could do. She couldn’t force Trixie to forget her venomous words, they were out there in the universe for both of them to wince at. She could beg for Trixie’s forgiveness until her dying breath, but it wasn’t in her hands anymore. All she could do was go home and face whatever was waiting for her.

When she reached their shared apartment, she found herself hovering with her hand above the door handle. Anxiety twisted in her gut, screaming at her to turn around and run away again. She didn’t know if she could handle that same cold look in Trixie’s eyes again. But she would have to return home eventually, there was no use avoiding it. So, with a deep breath, she pushed through the front door. Trixie was seated on the couch staring off out the window, her thumb nail tucked between her teeth. It was a nervous bad habit Trixie had whenever she was upset, biting her nails. The sight of her made Katya’s heart sink again. No one wanted to be the reason their loved one looked so despondent. Katya closed the door behind her, and the noise made Trixie break out of whatever trance she was in.

“Hey,” she greeted softly, dropping her hand from her mouth into her lap. She didn’t look angry anymore, and that alone almost made Katya start crying again. Trixie patted the spot on the couch next to her, inviting Katya to be close to her for the first time in what felt like weeks. When Katya sat down, a shy look crossed Trixie’s face.

“So, um, I haven’t really been fair to you,” Trixie began. “You shouldn’t have yelled at me like that, but I was being a baby and held it against you for way too long. It’s just, you said all of these things I didn’t want to hear because I knew they were problems, but I didn’t want you to acknowledge them, you know?”

Trixie shook her head. “No, okay, that sounds wrong. If I’m ever being an asshole I want you to tell me, because that’s how relationships work. But that’s never really been us, you know? We’ve always been this super in love couple that didn’t have any problems. You were the first person to ever make me feel like I deserved to be adored and not just be the pity date. So hearing you call me out on everything made me feel like you didn’t see me like that anymore, which is stupid because I know you do. I just reacted like a toddler and took out my insecurities on you and I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry Kat.”

Katya stared at Trixie with wide eyes, unable to form a response. She had come home prepared for the worst, but here Trixie was apologizing and forgiving her with ease. She wasn’t expecting this kind of response at all.

“We were both stupid,” Katya finally replied, covering Trixie’s hand with her own. “I should talk to you, not bottle things up and let my anger get the better of me. You are amazing girlfriend, and still the most incredible person I have ever known.”

Relief washed over Trixie’s features, and she squeezed Katya’s hand.

“I love you so much Kat,” she murmured, intensity shining in her eyes. Katya smiled softly. She hasn’t felt this light for weeks.

“You are moya kukla, I will love you forever,” Katya replied. Trixie smiled at her words, and it looked like she had unloaded a burden as well.

“God, we are so gross. If I wasn’t us, I would hate us,” Trixie laughed. Her arms slid around Katya’s shoulders, and she pulled her in for a kiss. Katya was going to retort with a Contact reference, but she was to content kissing Trixie after so long apart that she didn’t want to pull away.

***

For the first time in their relationship, Trixie was up first on Christmas morning. She quietly snuck out of bed and put a pot of coffee on before creeping back into the bedroom. As carefully as she could she climbed on top of Katya.

“Good morning,” she sang softly, pressing her lips against Katya’s cheek. Katya stirred, mumbling unintelligibly in response. Trixie smiled and kissed her again, this time on the lips.

“Wake up baby, it’s Christmas.” Slowly, Katya’s eyes peeked open and blearily met Trixie’s gaze.  

“I am up, I am up,” she ensured, fighting back a yawn.

“C’mon, I made coffee,” Trixie prompted before crawling off the bed. Katya pushed back the comforter and stood up at a sluggish pace.

After a couple cups of coffee Katya was more alert. She looked so soft and gentle in her loose pajamas and unbrushed hair. Trixie could just sit and watch her sip pensively at her mug all morning, but the only reason why they were up so early was because it was a very special morning.

“Do you want to do presents now?” Trixie asked, trying to keep the excitement out of her voice. Katya smiled and nodded, so Trixie got up from the couch to grab the handful of presents she had under the tree for Katya. They were all carefully wrapped and artfully decorated, with Trixie’s signature pink touch. She set them down in her lap as she sat down next to Katya again, and picked up the largest box.

“Open this one first, it’s the fun present,” she explained. Katya took the present and carefully started unwrapping it, making sure not to tear the paper as she pulled out the box. When she opened it, her eyes went wide and her cheeks immediately flushed pink.

“Trixie,” she gasped, her eyes flicking from the contents of the box to Trixie, her lips parted in shock.

“What, you don’t like it?” Trixie teased. Katya pulled out the silicone dick and held it up with an unamused expression.

“Did you get me a dildo for Christmas?” She asked. Trixie had to choke back laughter at the expression on Katya’s face, and the fact that she was holding a bright red dick in her hand.

“No, I got you a strapon for Christmas. I thought it would be fun,” Trixie explained. Katya’s eyes lit up at that, and she finally seemed to notice the harness in the box as well.

“Oh, well, thank you malysh, we will have fun with this.” Katya set both components of the toy back into the box and set it aside. Trixie handed her the next gift, and Katya opened it to reveal a thick blazer with rich, colorful embroidery on it.

“Oh Trixie, thank you,” Katya gushed, pressing a kiss to Trixie’s cheek. She was always complaining about not having enough clothes for work, and it was hard for her to balance her eccentric style with office etiquette.

“You’re welcome, now last one,” Trixie hummed. The last gift fit in the palm of Katya’s hand. Underneath the wrapping paper laid an ornate box, and when Katya pulled the lid off she found a sparkling diamond on a thin gold chain.

“Malysh, it is beautiful,” she murmured as she gently picking up the necklace.

“Turn around, let me put it on you,” Trixie instructed. Katya handed her the jewelry and turned away from Trixie, holding her hair up from her neck. Trixie carefully clasped it around Katya’s neck, and when the older woman turned around the pretty jewel was dangling perfectly below her clavicles.

“Merry Christmas,” Trixie said with a grin, and Katya took her face between her hands and kissed her softly.

“Your turn,” Katya replied as she stood up. “Close your eyes.”

Trixie covered her eyes with her hands and strained to listen as Katya moved around the apartment. There was the sound of a door closing, and Katya’s feet padding along the hardwood floor as she made her way back into the living room. A heavy object was placed on Trixie’s lap, and when her hands went to steady it she felt soft leather underneath her fingertips.

“You can open,” Katya prompted. Trixie’s eyes flew open, and she immediately took in the large guitar case.

“No you didn’t,” Trixie gasped. She carefully reached for the latches and popped them open so she could push the lid up. She had never seen a more beautiful instrument in her life. Every guitar she’d ever owned was a hand me down, worn and chipped and out of tune. But this guitar was polished and decorated, with carved flowers curling around the edges. It was delicate, feminine, and it was so completely Trixie that it made tears swim in her eyes.

“There is more, hold on.” Katya gently pulled the guitar out of the case. “Do you see that compartment? There is something in there.”

In the neck of the guitar case there was indeed a little built in compartment. When she opened it there were a dozen different guitar picks inside, most of them sporting Trixie’s favorite doll.

“This is the nicest gift I think I’ve ever received,” Trixie whispered, her voice betraying how choked up she was. Katya cooed and carefully put Trixie’s guitar away before pulling her into a hug.

“Only the best for you moya kukla,” Katya promised, pressing a kiss to Trixie’s cheek.

“Merry Christmas, baby.”

“Merry Christmas Trixie.”

Chapter Text

Secrets were the hardest thing for Trixie to keep from Katya. She shared everything with the other woman, from the smallest mundane parts of her day to things she’s never told anyone before. Katya was just so easy to talk to that filtering herself felt like an impossible task. But sometimes secrets were necessary. Especially when it was keeping Katya from figuring out that there was a giant surprise party waiting for her back at their apartment.

“I want to look at it again babe, show me,” Trixie pleaded. Katya beamed, and held out her sleek folder to Trixie. Inside, Katya’s freshly printed Certificate of Naturalization was tucked in the pocket, a physical sign of her U.S. Citizenship. The feeling of pride towards her girlfriend had been making Trixie emotional all day, but every reminder that Katya had achieved her dream had a fresh round of tears springing in her eyes. She closed the folder and pulled the two of them to a stop so she could envelop Katya in a tight hug.

“God, I’m so proud of you,” she mumbled, pressing a kiss to Katya’s cheek. Katya laughed, probably for the millionth time that day. They were both in such high spirits, it was impossible for them to keep cool.

“I could not have done it without you maylsh,” Katya countered. “Now let us go, we are getting in the way of everyone else on the sidewalk.”

Trixie took Katya’s hand in hers again and they continued to walk back to their apartment complex. The closer they got, the more nervous Trixie got. She knew Katya would like the surprise she had planned for her no matter what, but she still wanted to make her happy. It was a huge day for Katya, probably the biggest in her life. Trixie wanted to prove to her that she had people who cared about her and wanted to celebrate her success with her.

“We should go to that restaurant on fifteenth street for dinner,” Katya suggested as they walked down the hall. Trixie hummed non-committedly, knowing full well that they weren’t going to need to go out for dinner. There was plenty of food waiting for them on the other side of the apartment door. Trixie held her breath as she inserted the key into the door and pushed it open.

“Congratulations Katya!” Everyone that was crammed into their small apartment cheered loudly, waving their little American flags. The entire living room was decorated with as much red, white and blue that Trixie could find at the party store. Even the guests were dressed in theme. Katya’s face was priceless as she gaped at the scene before her in shock. Slowly she turned to Trixie.

“Did you do this all for me?” She asked carefully. Trixie laughed and pulled her girlfriend in for a kiss.

“It’s a big day Kat, you deserve it,” Trixie replied. Katya pressed another kiss to her lips before turning to her party.

Trixie had made sure to invite everyone they were close to, and then some. Greg and his fiance Shannon were in the corner chatting with a few other couples from their building. There were a few of Katya’s old co-workers from the office clumped together, and thankfully her pervy old boss was nowhere in sight. The biggest group of people seemed to be those from Katya’s new job. Katya seemed to thrive as a yoga instructor, the fact that she had power over herself and got to wear all the pattern-problem clothes that she wanted to giving her the confidence she never had as a secretary. Plus, the women in her class adored her. Katya’s eccentric personality and thick accent always drew in a crowd to her classes. Of course Trixie had to invite her most faithful customers to cheer on their yogi. It was those women that immediately pulled Katya in, gushing over her cute business suit. Trixie smiled as she watched Katya interact with people. It’s been a long road to get to this point, and the relief was clear on Katya’s face. She looked so young, so full of life with her little flag pin gleaming on her blazer.

“You look like a lovesick idiot,” Pearl teased as she slipped next to Trixie. She handed her a cup filled with some sort of punch, probably made by Pearl herself for the party. Hopefully Katya would know to stay away from it tonight. But, seeing as Trixie wasn’t abstaining from alcohol she tapped her solo cup against Pearl’s and took a sip.

“Probably because I am one,” Trixie countered, her eyes still trained on her girlfriend.

“How was the ceremony?” Pearl asked.

“It was cute, everyone was so happy. It’s the first time I think I’ve ever seen an immigration officer smile,” Trixie explained.

“I feel like she’s been in this country forever, I can’t believe she’s just now become an official citizen,” Pearl continued. Trixie hummed in agreement. Pearl didn’t even know the half of what it took for Katya to get that little piece of paper. Hours of them staying up together, pouring over books and online tests. Hours of interviews, trying to find any little fault in Katya. It was a grueling process that took a lot out of both of them. That’s why this party was so important, it was their first sigh of relief in almost a year.

“So now that she’s an American are you gonna pop the big question?” Trixie nearly choked on her drink at Pearl’s words.

“Jesus, subtle much?” Trixie grumbled.

“You’re my best friend Trix, I just want to know what’s going on in your life,” Pearl said, feigning innocence.

“If you must know, we’ve talked about this and decided marriage wasn’t really for us,” Trixie explained. After Gregory, Katya wasn’t too in love with the concept. Marriage was just the legal word for two people who think they’re going to have happily ever after and want to write it off on their taxes. But neither of them wanted children, and they didn’t need a piece of paper to prove they were going to last. Marriage meant complacency, and forced expectations. Neither of which Trixie and Katya wanted for themselves.

“God, you two really are the modern couple,” Pearl groaned. “I’m gonna go hit on Katya’s hot yoga students. We should make athletic leggings mandatory uniform.”

Pearl pushed off the wall and made her way over to the gaggle of athletic young women in the center of the room. Left alone once again, Trixie decided to find her way over to their table where a feast’s worth of appetizers and finger foods were set up. She started loading up her plate with mini quiches and veggies, avoiding anything that looked like it had meat in it. Her day had been so busy that she hadn’t had the chance to eat a proper meal. As Trixie reached over to grab some cheese and crackers she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist.

“Did you finally escape your students?” Trixie teased, leaning back into Katya. The older woman giggled and pressed her lips against Trixie’s neck.

“They are distracted by a certain predatory lesbian who is complimenting them all on their sports bras,” Katya hummed.

“Damn, I didn’t know Rosie O’Donnell would actually accept my invitation. I’ll have to go tell her how much I love her show later,” Trixie shot back with a grin. Katya snorted and dropped her head to Trixie’s shoulder.

“The only gay woman you are allowed to pay attention to today is me,” Katya pouted.

“Right, I’m sorry. Getting up at five in the morning to go with you to your interview, then your ceremony, all while planning a surprise party for you isn’t enough attention. I’m a terrible girlfriend, you should break up with me immediately,” Trixie sighed dramatically.

“I should, but I really like the water pressure in this apartment so I guess I will stay with you,” Katya mused.

“Using me for my water pressure, I knew it.” Trixie turned around in Katya’s arms and pecked her lips. “Do you like your party baby?”

“Of course! I will admit, I did not see it coming. You hid this from me very well,” Katya replied. “I do not know what we are going to do with all of these little flags, though. As an American citizen I would be offended if we just threw them out, you know.”

“We’ll make people take them home as souvenirs, I promise,” Trixie assured. Katya seemed pleased by her response.

“Good. I am going to go say hi to Ginger, I just wanted to check up on you,” Katya explained before disappearing back into the crowd. Trixie shook her head fondly and popped a carrot stick into her mouth. She was a lovesick fool, but she wouldn’t want it any other way.

The party lasted for hours, and Trixie was both physically and emotionally exhausted by the time the final guests trickled out of the room. Their cozy apartment was littered with plastic cups, paper plates, and decorations that had fallen to the floor throughout the night. Trixie knew it was going to be a monumental task cleaning up, but that was a problem for tomorrow’s Trixie. For now, all she wanted to do was crawl into her bed in a comfortable pair of pajamas and sleep until noon. Katya looked ready to pass out as well. All the excitement from the day was catching up to her, and it looked like she could barely stand on her own.

“C’mon Miss America, let’s get you to bed,” Trixie teased, wrapping her arm around Katya’s waist. Together they moved into the bedroom and changed out of their clothes in comfortable silence. Trixie was almost sure that Katya was going to pass out as soon as her head hit the pillow, but as the climbed under the covers, Katya brushed her fingers along Trixie’s cheek.

“I love you,” she murmured, her voice soft and eyes sincere.

“I love you too Kat,” Trixie replied easily. Katya’s hand moved to card through Trixie’s hair.

“You remember when we first got together? The night at the club?” Katya asked. When Trixie nodded, she continued. “I still mean what I said, you are always going to be the most important thing to me. Today would have meant nothing if it did not mean I get to spend my life with you.”

Trixie could feel a lump forming in her throat. Today had been too emotional, and now Katya’s admission on top of it was making it hard to keep from turning into a giant sap.

“I’d marry the fuck out of you,” Trixie whispered. A small smile twitched on Katya’s lips.

“I know maylsh, maybe one day. For now, this is all I need.” She cupped Trixie’s face and leaned forward to brush their lips softly together.

There was nothing more that had to be said to end such a perfect day. No declarations of love or continued sappy words needed to fill the empty space in the room. The only thing necessary was for the pair to do but fall asleep with the knowledge of their newfound freedom heavy in their minds.