Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Thinking over every single detail of a photo op after the fact isn't unusual, but doing it in a cold, empty room is. Not to mention how I ended up here.

I had just had approximately 4 seconds in the goofy embrace of Jared, Jensen, and Misha. Walking out of the room, I saw a couple people I had met the night before as we screamed our lungs out along with Rob.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see one of the guys' handlers. She didn't look pleased (they never seem to) as she told me to follow her. She led me to an empty conference room that had a single small table with a few chairs haphazardly placed around it.

"Have a seat, please. Someone will be with you when they can."

"I'm sorry, did I do something wrong?"

An almost pained smile attempted to cross the lady's mouth. "Just have a seat, please."

The trek to the table was was silent except for the door slamming as the woman left. As I sat down across from 4 empty chairs, I noticed there was another door opposite the one I came through.

I figured that moment would be the perfect time to fix my goddamn socks - too nervous to do it in the photo op line. as I was about to sit back up, I saw a pair of tennis shoes carry a man to a seat across the table. I forgot about my socks, swallowed the lump in my throat, and sat up.

"Hey, you okay?"

Okay, Clif friggen Klosterman is asking if I'm alright. This is fine. This is normal. "Um, yeah, I'm okay."

He sat back, his fingers drumming on the table. Okay so, this is...weird. I’m trying to think about my photo ops; whether or not i did something wrong, but Clif doesn’t seem angry.

“Did i do something?” I’m a soft spoken person, but it came out softer than i’d like.

“Nah, you’re fine. Just hold on a few more minutes and everything will be explained. It’s not my place to tell you what’s up.”

I sat back a little, probably visibly nervous.

Then the door opened.

Chapter Text

Jared and Jensen were ushered in by a woman who looked exhausted as she adjusted her headset and turned to leave.

I watched as they walked up; Jared was showing Jensen something on his phone - causing Jensen to laugh and show off those laugh lines around his eyes.

Jared shoved his phone in his pocket (causing his pants to lower a bit around his hips. ...ahem) and they sat in two seats across from me, nodding to Clif in greeting.

Jared smiled at me, showing off dimples I could crawl into, while Jensen smirked.

“Um, h-hi, guys.” My throat was suddenly drier than I thought so I cleared it, looking down out of embarrassment.

“Hi, I’m Jared.”

“And I’m Jensen.”

I quickly looked at Clif, who just chuckled. “Um hi, I’m Bria.”

“How has your weekend been, Bria?”

Was Jared friggen Padalecki really nonchalantly asking how my weekend was? What? “It’s been great! I hope we’ve shown y’all a good time as well.”

“Oh, yeah! Seattle’s always great to us,” Jensen grinned.

“Good to hear! So, what’s...what’s up?”

Jensen leaned back, seeming to get comfortable. “We’re still one short, as usual.”

“You’re kidding. Misha is joining us?”

“I mean, eventually...hopefully,” Jared laughed, “Hope you have some extra time; he’s always late.”

I laughed along with them, “Nah, I don’t have time actually.” I stood up and gathered my bag.

Jared stood and held his hands out for me to stop, “No, no, I’m sure he’ll be here soon. He just has to finish up some things and get his stuff from the green room.”

Holy shit, he actually believed me. Score. “I’m just kidding, oh my god. Why would I ever walk away from…” I looked from him to Jensen and back again, “...whatever the hell this is.”

Huffing out a laugh, Jared ran his fingers through his hair as he sat back down, “Okay you got me.”

Jensen clapped him on the shoulder, “Jumped on that one pretty quick, man.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t want her to leave!”

I dramatically placed a hand over my heart, “Oh, Jared! How sweet of you!”

Clif snorted another laugh, “She’s funny, guys, good pick.”

“Oooh, what am I chosen for? Wait, did you both choose me; like, a joint decision? Did Misha help decide? Wait, is this gonna turn into a foursome scenario because I would not ...be opposed to that at all.” I smirked at them as Jared and Jensen fidgeted a bit. Hmm, is that where the line is drawn?

Jensen spoke up first, “Well actually, Misha called first dibs so…”

“Ha! So it’s gonna be a turn taking scenario? That’s fine.”

Jared’s cheeks are turning a light pink near his nose from laughing. “I’m so glad I read your personality right; this is gonna be great.”

Ugh! “What?? What’s going to be so great?!”

“Sorry, Bria, we really do have to wait for Misha,” Jensen explained, telling me he’s also a large part of this.

“Alright, alright. Can I at least have a hint?”

Jared and Jensen looked at each other and smiled mischievously. Oh boy. Jared straightened a little, “I’ll give you this - you’ll have to see a lot of each of us.”

“As in ...work with you a lot or ...see… a lot of you?” I arched an eyebrow in Jared’s direction as I trailed my eyes down as much of his chest as I could before the table got in my way.

“Oh, man, Jared, it’s gonna be like having a second Mish around with the way she talks; you sure about this?”

“Hell yeah I’m sure about this, she’s awesome!”

Holy shit, Jared just called me awesome??? “Ya know, I’m not usually so ...outgoing, but you guys are just so easy to joke around with. But please, if I cross a line, please tell me. I’d hate to make you feel uncomfortable,” I looked them both in their gorgeous eyes.

“It takes a lot to make us uncomfortable; we do work with Misha Collins, after all,” Jensen reassured me.

The door suddenly opened and Misha walked in, kind of bouncing as if he was running on ...an entire coffee shop worth of caffeine.

Holyshitholyshitholysh-

“Hi! I’m Misha!” He sat down and held out his hand.

I blinked away the shock and pulled up some false bravado as I grabbed his hand, “Bria.”

“Nice to meet you, Bria. Have you been told the plan?”

“From what I understand, you’re going first and then I think Jared was next...or was it Jensen?”

Misha has the most beautiful laugh when caught off guard.

“No, I haven’t been told anything other than it’s going to be great because ...still not clear on that part, actually…”

Jared placed his hands on the table. “It’s gonna be great because I think we’ll all get along really well which would help with any kind of project, but I think, especially, this one.”

Jensen finally came to my rescue, “Okay, guys let’s tell her the plan.”

Jared straightened suddenly seemed very serious. “Well, I’m sure you know about the Always Keep Fighting campaign and how important, I think, it’s become.”

“Absolutely! I have a couple of the shirts and think it’s amazing. So much of the fandom struggles with mental illnesses of all kinds and it’s just such a great way to bring us all together while working to spread awareness too!”

“Wow, maybe she should write some of the promotion pieces too,” Misha added.

I blushed, thinking I had said way too much.

“No, no, that’s so awesome! I’m so glad to hear it’s helping people; that’s what we hope for, ya know?” Jared placed a hand on mine. I didn’t have enough train of thought left to get a feel for the exact size difference there. Ah, maybe there will be another chance.

Jensen perks up, “So we have this great campaign and it’s a big hit, but is there anything else we can do to create awareness?”

“I’m...assuming...yes?”

“Bingo,” Misha leans in, “We would like you to be in a video we’re making. It will be kind of like an awareness video for mental health and how it affects relationships. You would be the main focus, and each of us would represent a different relationship. We haven’t worked out who will be who yet, but we have time obviously.”

Jared chimed in, “We have a basic idea about what we’d like to do, but if you’re interested, we’d really like your feedback on our initial idea since you’re...ya know, you are the fandom, basically.”

“Yeah, okay! Of course, I’d love to be a part of this!” In my mind, I’m spinning around in circles screaming until I vomit, but that’s neither here nor there.

Jared beams, “Perfect! So here’s what we’re thinking. Girl - you - is with Boy A - Misha. You’re shown as a perfect couple, he takes care of you, helps you during a breakdown. Then we flashback to your relationship with Boy B - Jensen, who thinks the most important thing in a relationship is sex. Then we flashback again to you with Boy C - me, who is actually abusive, physically.”

“...okay, so like, showing the different types of reactions people with mental illnesses have to deal with, okay.”

“Yeah, exactly. And the hope is to show that, ya know, this girl had to deal with a couple assholes,” he motions between himself and Jensen, “to find the guy that truly cares, isn’t going to put you down, and is going to fight WITH you against your demons. That kind of person is out there; you don’t have to feel so...so broken, ya know?”

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea, guys. I think it will send the right message - to keep fighting - but also to ...not be a dick!”

Misha laughed, “Mostly that last part, yeah.” He smiled at me and as I internally melted, I realized ...I’m going to have to pretend to date each of them on screen. Hmm...this will be interesting.

Chapter Text

The drive up I-5 to Bellingham riled up some inconvenient feelings as I sat behind the passenger seat, next to Jared. Jensen was on the other side of him; Misha in the passenger seat. Even though they were all joking around with each other and sharing some stories with me, it was really hard to focus on anything other that the heat of Jared’s large thigh against my own. Every time he laughed, he would spread his legs a little as he leaned forward with the laugh and I could feel the muscle move and contract. And the man is a human heater; just always running hot and -

“What do you think, Brea?”

I was suddenly jolted out of my increasingly dirty thoughts by Misha’s question. “I’m sorry, what?” I couldn’t see Misha’s whole face from around the head of the seat, but I could tell he was probably smirking.

“We were just discussing how to proceed; if you wanted to just go to my place, or if you wanted to go up to Van tonight to meet the crew. If not, you and I will go up tomorrow afternoon.”

“I mean, it’s kind of late and we’ve all had such a long day; i think we should all rest a little ya know?”

Jensen joined in quickly, “My kinda girl, I like her already.”

“Oh shut up, Ackles; we all know you would have trumped her decision to meet the crew tonight had she chosen that.”

“Fuck off, Mish; you don’t know that I wou-” He let his sentence trail off as he realized that Misha was right. “Alright, yeah, I’m fucking exhausted.”

I laughed as everyone quickly mumbled in agreement.

Clif clarified, “So stopping at Misha’s then off to Van?”

“Yeah, we’ll come up tomorrow afternoon,” Misha confirmed as he turned around.

Jared looked over (down, really) at me, “Good choice, Bre.” And then he fucking winked like it was no big deal and I preceded to melt like a 14 year old girl.

Ten minutes later, we pulled up to an apartment building with shedding cherry blossom trees outside and I was immediately reminded of Misha climbing them to rain down blossoms on his kids and smiled as I grabbed my bag out of the back.

“Hey, want me to carry either of your bags? Oh, I guess you just have the one, huh? Don’t worry about it; wardrobe will have some clothes you can wear until we have some time to go back down to Seattle so you can grab some of you own.”

“Okay, that sounds great; i’m sure they have some neat clothes I can wear.”

Walking into his apartment, I wasn’t sure what to expect; any videos we see seem to be shot in his trailer on set. It was a typical apartment, nothing fancy, and I had to admire Misha’s ongoing humbleness at that point.

“If you want, you can set your bag in my room. I’ve spoken to Vicki and she doesn’t mind if you share the bed; it’s much more comfortable than that couch.”

“...oh, okay, that’s great; please thank her for me.”

“Well, she explicitly said there’s one condition. You have to inform her if I’m ever even unintentionally an asshole in any way.”

I chuckled. Vicki and Misha have been together for so long, they have a rapport with one another I can only hope to have with someone special someday. “Of course I’ll let her know, after calling your ass out on it.”

Misha huffed out a laugh. “You’re going to work so well here.” His smile seemed so genuine, I couldn’t help but let my attitude fall. This man was so pure, I knew everything would work out well.

“Would you like to shower first?”

Relief washed over me; it had been a couple days (conventions are so damn busy). “God, please.”

Misha chuckled. “Go right ahead; I’ll see what I can do about dinner while you’re in there. Do you have clean pyjamas?”

“Um..” I rifled through my bag a bit. Shit. “Not...really.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt. “Here you go.”

“Thank you so much,” I grabbed the clothes from him, enraptured in his bright smile.

A good hot shower was exactly what I needed to relieve a little of my anxiety about staying with Misha freakin’ Collins ...in his bed ...with him ...oh, god.

I walked out, still giggling over the fact that I was now wear his AC/DC t-shirt (yes, that one!) as Misha was toeing the front door closed, his hands holding a couple takeout bags. “Hey, Brea, I got you chicken pad thai; hope that’s okay...usually a safe bet.”

“Oh, yes, that’s sounds perfect; I’m starving.”

We ate on his couch, seated next to one another. Once the boxes were left to be forgotten on the coffee table, Misha turned to me, “So, tell me about yourself. I assume you know some things about me, so tell me a few things I should know about Brea Williams.”

A nervous chuckle broke out of my lips. Nothing I could say would impress him, surely; I mean, he’s met so many interesting people, I can’t imagine…

“What are you thinking about?”

Shit, I had got stuck in my thoughts a bit too long. “Oh, just trying to think of something about me that’s even mildly interesting.”

“I know nothing about you - anything you tell me will be interesting.”

God, he really meant it. “Well, let’s see. I’m 24, I currently have no idea what I want to do with my life, but I feel like I have time to figure it out. Uh, I have really bad anxiety that I’m still learning how to self-manage along with medication. I have a younger sister who is the light of my parents’ life; unfortunately, I’m just a broken bulb to them.”

There was a warm on my hand and I realized it was Misha’s, covering my own. He was looking at me with a look of sadness in his eyes. “You are not just a broken bulb. You just have a different way of shining.”

My breath shuddered as I inhaled and I felt a wave of emotion swelling in me. “Hey, do you mind if I just call it a night? This whole weekend has been exhausting.” I laughed tiredly, know my exhaustion must be nothing compared to his.

“Of course not, go on into bed. I’m just going to call Vicki to tell the kids goodnight and then I’ll be in.”

I smiled tiredly, got up, and walked into the bedroom. I took the time to appreciate how soft the carpeting is below my feet before crawling into the side of the bed that had no nightstand.

I didn’t even stir when Misha crawled in and quietly wished me goodnight.

Chapter Text

The next morning, I stirred slowly. I checked my phone (boy, that was a mistake) to see it was just after 6:00 in the morning. I stretched as I turned over onto my back and found a piece of paper on Misha’s cold pillow.

Went for a run. Help yourself to anything.
~Dmitri

I snorted a laugh at the use of his real name; such a dork. I slowly got up and made my way to the bathroom. Misha seemed to keep everything pretty neat and clean, which was as unsurprising as it was welcome to me. A peek into the fridge gained me an eyeful of what looked like the entire produce section of a grocery store. There was a loaf of bread on the counter and I threw a slice in the toaster and grabbed an apple to wash and slice up. As I’m just slicing it up, the front door opened and a sweaty, beaming Misha walked in.

“Good morning! Glad you’ve found something to eat; not everyone likes my love for produce.”

“Lucky for you, I’ve become healthier lately,” I munched on a bite of apple while the butter melted on my toast and took in the man in front of me. His hair was all mussed up with sweat, the collar of his shirt was soaked through, and he seemed to have missed his neck in his attempt to wipe any sweat off. Not that I had minded.

“I’m going to hop in the shower and then we should still have about an hour before we should leave for Vancouver.”

“Sounds good.”

The drive to Vancouver was over an hour of Misha telling me about working with Jared and Jensen and what I can expect.

“So, I should be half-alert for fuckery all day?”

“Basically, yeah, I think that would benefit you most.” Misha laughed like I’d never heard; a real laugh. It was such a nice sound and the sun illuminated him through the car window so well. I thought it would have made such a good photo, but wasn’t sure I wanted to just whip my phone out to snap a picture. So I’ve tucked it away in the back of my mind - the first time I heard that beautiful sound.

I slouched down in the passenger seat a bit, fiddling with a loose string on the hem of my t-shirt. “What if ...I’m worried about being overwhelmed with all three of you at once.”

Misha looked at me with a lifted brow, “Oh trust me, you can handle all of us.”
I laughed, “Oh, I totally could in a sexual way; I have no doubt you would all be obedient ...right?”

“Oh, of course.” He quickly looked at me and bowed his head, eyes cast downward just like the good boy he could become.

I sucked in a breath; sure this man would be the death of me as my heart has been fluttering far too much lately. “So anyway, I guess I’m just a little intimidated? Y’all have been working together for so long and I’m just...some random girl.”

“You know who else was once just ‘some random girl’? Genevieve.”

“Huh. Good point. That makes me feel a bit better.”

“And honestly, we’ll probably be waiting around a while for Jensen and Jared. They have some other stuff that has to be figured out soon also.”

Pulling into the lot of the studio was basically what I expected. A few large buildings which I knew held sets inside. A bunch of trailers set up all around. Ones for make-up, wardrobe, etc. I couldn’t wait for a tour - seeing things that go on behind the scenes was so fascinating to me!

As Misha parked, everything kind of hit me all at once. Suddenly my chest was tight and I couldn’t breathe. “Oh god,” I whispered as I pulled my knees up to hide my face in them. This can’t be happening, not now, please not now.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay; you’re okay,” Misha was rubbing my back. “Just focus on my hand and its warmth. Try to sync your breathing with it. Up, down, up, down; in, out, in, out.”

We sat like this for a good ten minutes, until I felt better and like I had calmed down. I slowly sat up and lowered my legs. Misha handed me a bottle of water, asking if I was better. “I’m so sorry, Misha.”

He had the most perplexed look on his face. “For what, Brea?” His voice was so soft.

“I’m just… I’m already messing up our day. We were supposed to get here and everything was supposed to be fine except some nerves and…”

“Brea, don’t apologize. You can never predict things like that and I would never expect you to just ...deal with it and go on doing anything. You need to take however long you need to feel better and you know what? As long as I’m near you when another episode happens, I’ll do whatever I can to help that process along.”

“The hand rubbing thing really helped. Thank you.”

“Vicki used to have some stress-related episodes while we were in college. Finals, presentations, et cetera. My doing that seemed to help so I took a chance here. I’m so glad it helped.”

“But Vicki’s so confident all the time!” Then I realized what I had said. We, the fandom that is, rarely ever see Vicki. “I- I mean, she seems like she would have a lot of confidence. She just seems like a confident person....” I continued to ramble before he interrupted me.

“No, she is usually. Final presentations have a lot riding on them, is all. I really do admire how confident she is. Someday she’ll teach me her ways,” he laughs lightly and I can’t help but join in.

“Thank you. So much, Misha.”

“You’re very welcome. Just take however long you need and let me know when you’re ready to go.”

I sat for a few more minutes, concentrating on my breathing. “Okay, I think I’m ready.”

I was not ready.

Chapter Text

My makeup was done to make me look like the confident vixen my character is with this man. Jensen. Jensen plays the man I feel the most confident around, sexually. I am choking on the irony.

I walk onto set slowly, too aware that I’m so scantily dressed. The lace lingerie is so much more sexy then anything I would ever think to even try on.

Jensen is sitting at a wood vanity, the director is speaking with him - gesturing to the vanity top with there is a belt laying. All the lights are focused on the vanity. The director and Jensen notice me approaching. Jensen sits up straighter, but his thighs part. “Brea,” Jensen voice sounds dry, “You look great.”

“Thank you,” I looked down as I smiled; it was still hard to look this overly handsome man in the eye.

“So, have you thought of your line?”

Ah, yes, my line. See, in this scene, Jensen is to be fiddling with the belt on the tabletop and I am to whisper something in his ear - something to get a reaction out of him. Those were my instructions. I couldn’t even look this man in the eye yet and I was expected to think of something to get a rise out of him!

“I think I have one, yes. You said we’ll do multiple takes though? In case he doesn’t care for what I say?”

I can sense Jensen is smirking.

“Yes, we’ll try a few different things until something lands.”

All I could do was nod. I hadn’t really thought of anything… ‘do you even know how to use that?’ is the only thing I had thought of, but it seemed so… cliche.

We were told to find our marks. Jensen was in the chair, I was behind him, and a camera was behind us to catch the reflection shot in the mirror.

“Action!”

I watched as Jensen fiddled with the belt, fingertip caressing the metal buckle, and it hit me; the perfect line.

“What else can your fingertips do?” I whispered in his ear.

I heard a sharp intake of breath and felt his shoulder tense under my hand. Bingo.

His breath settles as ‘cut!’ is called.

“Reset!”

I decide to lay a finger against his neck this time, his jugular. As I whisper, “I’ll be so warm and tight around them,” I feel his pulse quicken and I’ve never felt so powerful; my lips barely graze his ear.

“Cut and on last reset! Looking real good, you two!”

I lean over poise my hand to slide down his chest as I whisper “ Do you wanna feel me from the inside?”

“Cut!”

Before I could even say anything, he was out of the stage area and I was left wondering if I had done something wrong.