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Chapter Text

2183: Arcturus Station

James whistled tunelessly as he stepped out of the cab and back into the busy military sector of Arcturus Station. It was the only place he had thought of as home since his abuela had passed ten years ago. That he was hardly there for any length of time didn't matter. It was the place he always came back to between assignments, and though the entire station was more than just the Alliances's military operations, it was the center of those operations. A fitting place for a soldier to call home, he thought.

This time around, he'd been on the station for three days, wrapping up the celebratory leave he'd been allowed (read: strongly encouraged) to take after his promotion to Second Lieutenant. With his special forces training finally completed (well, officially, but was that kind of training ever really over?), his TO had assured him he had better take the chance for leave while he could. He'd spent most of it on Earth, catching up with Tío Emilio (and avoiding one erstwhile Joshua Sanders at the same time). But when Emilio learned that James was heading out on assignment again as soon as his leave ended, he had insisted James return to Arcturus early so he could "go have some damn fun."

James shook his head and rolled his eyes at the memory. It wasn't as if he thought his tío and training officer were wrong about him not getting much downtime for a while or anything. They just didn't get that, for him, soldiering was fun. He was damned good at it, and he knew it. First thing in his life he felt he could say that about with pride and certainty, in fact. He had earned this promotion, along with the special forces gig, and he looked forward to it. After all, there were all sorts of new challenges to be had in the field.

Still, there was fun, and there was fun. Emilio had been right enough about that. James couldn't really regret his three days in the civilian sector. Some drinking, some gambling, setting a few records in the arcades, and of course, a little bit of creature comfort as well. A slow grin spread over his face as memories of the previous night played through his mind. Hell yeah, that girl had been worth coming back early from Earth. She'd been a bold one, coming up to him in the bar and draping an arm over his shoulder.

"Well, don't you just look like a good time?"

She had purred the words into his ear, punctuating them with a quick nip at his earlobe. He'd cleared his throat and pulled away enough to turn and face her, his mind warring with the heat rushing through his veins. Directness was one thing, but in his experience that much directness from a stranger was usually the result of intoxication. But as his eyes met hers, pale blue and sparkling with mischief, he saw that they were clear. She took advantage of his new position to move in closer, her body melting against his, and he sucked in a breath of surprise.

She saw his eyes widen and smirked, arching one eyebrow in invitation. Her arm slid from his shoulder and she moved her hand to toy with the short hair at the nape of his neck, clearly content to wait on his response to her initial question. He looked her up and down, trying to decide how to answer. His body was already responding to her but he rather prided himself on his self-control. Best to assess the situation first.

She was resting against him lightly, relaxed, rather than leaning as if she needed the support. The glass in her free hand was still half full, though that wasn't necessarily an accurate indicator. She didn't smell like booze though, which was good. He really didn't want to take advantage of someone who'd had one too many. The idea of being a regret come morning had never sat well with him. As if reading his mind, she gave a low laugh and lifted her drink, leaning in closer.

"It's only my second, if you're curious. Like I said, just looking for a little fun."

"Well, who doesn't like a little fun, now and then?" James answered at last, drawing another grin from her.

"Boring people, I say," she quipped. "But you're not a boring guy at all, are you?"

He allowed himself an appreciative smile in reply. Long brown curls swept over one shoulder, not much lower than his own, he noted. She would be tall even without her heels, but with them she looked him almost straight in the eyes. Her wide nose was covered with a spray of freckles and her eyes glinted in anticipation. She had plans for him, he could tell, and he was pretty sure he didn't object one bit. Go have some fun, Emilio had said. Who was James to argue?

"Nah," he grinned at her, "boring's not really my thing." He leaned forward and kissed her and she wriggled even closer, her lips eagerly meeting his.

"Perfect," she breathed when she pulled back. "Now what do you say we get outta here?"

A pack of marines jogged past, shouting in unison, and James stopped short, shaking off his memories of the night before. She had definitely known exactly what she wanted from him, and he'd been more than happy to oblige. She hadn't even wanted to know his name, nor had she offered hers. He could admit to himself that it had been a lot more anonymous than even he usually preferred, but every once in a while that kind of thing was cool, he supposed. The last of the marines crossed his path and he continued toward the barracks.

To tell the truth he was a little bit surprised at himself. Granted, he'd never been hit on in quite that way before. But normally he tended to pass on the bolder ones, wanting to enjoy an evening of conversation at least before taking things a step further. But something about her had stirred him up...

"Something," sure, he snorted to himself. The second you saw those freckles you were gone.

Unbidden, images of another night, another woman, flashed through his mind. Winnie. He sighed. Not Winnie, he corrected himself, Shepard. He wondered if he'd ever be able to shake that night. Not that he wanted to forget it. That wasn't it at all. But ever since then, every time he went to bed with a woman, no matter what the circumstances leading up to it, later he realized it had been because she'd reminded him of her. The hair, the eyes, she was short, or sarcastic, bore some impressive ink, had amazing freckles--there was always something. It was like she had crawled under his skin while they had slept and refused to leave, even three years later.

It was foolish, he knew. Winnie Shepard certainly wasn't spending her nights wondering about him. But he couldn't help himself. It sure as fuck didn't help that the Alliance seemed hell bent on reminding him that not only was she an amazing woman, she was a damn amazing soldier as well. The Hero of the Blitz, she was always somewhere on the extranet when the Alliance felt it needed a bit of a PR bump. She'd been promoted again a little over a year ago, and out came the recruitment campaign again. He bet she hated the attention, too. She hadn't struck him as the kind of person who enjoyed being on display in that way. But damn if he didn't eat up every bit of media he could find.

"Vega! Hey! Did you hear?"

James stepped into the common room of the barracks and blinked at the greeting. Looking around for its owner, he spotted Kamille pushing her way through a crowd milling around the room's large vid screen. She was practically bouncing when she reached him, a wide grin splayed across her normally serious face.

"Hey, Kami." He dropped his duffel on the ground and ducked out of the way as she chucked a friendly punch at his shoulder. "Hear what?"

"It's just been officially confirmed! The Council named a human spectre!"

"No shit!"

"No shit," she agreed. "I don't think they were planning to announce it, but some reporter dug up the info and now the Alliance is making the most they can about it, saying how this is a 'proud day for humanity.'" She had dropped her voice and said the last words in a slow and serious tone, but as soon as she finished speaking she grinned again and giggled.

James blinked at her in surprise. He didn't think he'd ever seen Kamille so giddy. She was normally about as sober as they came, focused as she was on her training. She'd been in his last three special forces training groups though, and he knew she did have a playful side when she chose to show it. She just usually opted not to when there were so many people around, worried she wouldn't be taken seriously in the field, he suspected. She must be really excited about whoever the Council had chosen, to let it show so openly.

"So who is it?" he asked, his curiosity piqued by her behavior.

"I'll give you three guesses," she snorted, "and the first two don't count. Oh! They're going to show the footage from the swearing-in ceremony again. Come see!" She grabbed his wrist and dragged him over to the vid screen.

James glanced up and his heart nearly stopped. It was as if his earlier thoughts had summoned her image. A small part of him noticed with annoyance that the footage had been edited to avoid showing how short she was. He wondered if that ever pissed her off like it did him. James stared at the screen, drinking in the sight of her, cataloging every detail that he could. The image faded and was replaced by a sleek and smug looking reporter.

"Well, there you have it. Commander Shepard, Alliance officer and Hero of the Skyllian Blitz, has been named as the first human spectre. This is a big day for humanity. Commander Shepard has been unavailable for comment, but I have learned she's been given command of a brand new Alliance frigate, the prototype for a new line of advanced scout ships. If rumors are to be believed, she has already been tasked with a top-secret mission of the highest importance."

There was a murmur of approval throughout the crowd of marines, as well as some speculation about the prototype vessel and what Shepard's mission might be. On the screen, the reporter continued, her eyes taking on a determined gleam.

"Of course, there is some debate as to whether it is wise of the Alliance to send the first human spectre on such a classified mission directly after her appointment. One might wonder just what it is that Commander Shepard is getting up to that the Alliance, or perhaps the Council, does not want the rest of us to know about. But my viewers can rest assured that I will not cease in my efforts to bring you as much information as possible about ongoing events. Signing out from the Citadel, I'm Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani."

James bit back a curse at that last bit. He'd seen a few of al-Jilani's reports over the years and he knew that it rarely ended well for the subjects she set her sights on. Still, he suspected that Shepard could probably hold her own against the woman. He glanced around the room and saw that most of his companions seemed to have either missed or ignored the last part of the report. They were abuzz with speculation and gossip. About Shepard. Which was usually his cue to leave the room. He turned to go and was surprised when Kamille fell in beside him. Her usual serious demeanor had returned.

"I can't believe they let her on the air with that crap," she muttered. "As if there aren't legitimate reasons for an op to be classified, or the details of a new ship to be kept quiet." She rolled her eyes. "The safety of our soldiers comes to mind, for one. For another, it's hard to achieve a mission if the enemy sees you coming from a mile away."

"Hey, you don't gotta convince me," James answered darkly. She shot him an assessing look and then relaxed a bit.

"Yeah, guess that's true. Still, that's pretty awesome, huh? Commander Shepard, I mean?"

"Yeah," James agreed, slipping into a smile without realizing it. "I can't think of anyone better for the job."

"Probably a lot of extra pressure, though," Kamille mused. "I guess maybe sometimes it pays to stay under the radar." She shrugged and turned to go down the hall that led to her quarters. "I think I'm gonna call it a night, Vega. See you at the briefing in the morning, huh? 0600."

"Yeah, see you there." He shot her a grin. "Delta Squad, here we come!"

He continued on to his own quarters and set down his duffle, debating on whether or not to bother unpacking. On one hand, he and Kamille were shipping out again tomorrow with the new squad. On the other, he should probably do some laundry before then, and he didn't necessarily need so many street clothes on this assignment. Those could go into the storage locker he rented here on the base. Resigned, he set about pulling everything out of his bag and sorting through it.

Probably ought to get a workout in as well. Grab some dinner...

James got to it, going about his evening, slowly settling back into soldier mode as the last of his leave trickled away. But the entire time he was haunted by the image of a pair of tired black eyes, strained at the edges from worry, exhaustion, and frustration. All of that accompanied by the self-righteous words of a reporter determined to dig up evidence of a conspiracy whether one existed or not.

Whatever Commander Winnie Shepard had gotten herself into, James was coming to realize it was something big. Bigger than he could imagine, he'd bet good money. When he finally turned in for the night, he lay in bed awake for a long while. He chastised himself for worrying so much about things he couldn't do a damned thing to help, but he worried all the same.

Good luck, Winnie, he couldn't help but think. Good luck and godspeed, Commander.

Chapter Text

2183: SSV Normandy, Citadel Space

Winnie lingered on the bridge while Joker went through his systems checks, watching his fingers work with a surprising amount of grace. It seemed at odds with his abrasive personality. But then again, he had made it pretty clear that flying was his life. Maybe the grace and care he showed in his work wasn't that strange at all.

"Everything's ready, Commander," he said with a glance over his shoulder. "Just waiting for you to tell me where we're going."

"Set course for Therum, then," she told him.

It seemed to her the key to finding Saren would be through this Matriarch Benezia. But there was no way they were going to get anywhere near her without some kind of leverage or inside information. Benezia's daughter would give them that. If she was in league with her mother she would likely be the easier of the two to take down, and maybe Benezia would be more cooperative when she learned her daughter was a hostage. And if the asari archaeologist wasn't in league with Benezia, well...hopefully she'd be willing to tell them how to approach her. It wasn't much, but in Winnie's estimation it was their best lead at the moment. Joker seemed to agree, nodding in approval as he keyed in the course.

"Aye, aye, Commander." He looked back again, noticing when she didn't leave. "Did you want to say something to the crew before we set out? Anderson always liked to speechify at the start of a mission." He was still watching, and he frowned a little when her face fell. "Hey, no one's blaming you for him getting booted," he said softly. "That bullshit was all on Udina. Everyone on board knows that."

Anderson. Winnie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. That was the worst part of this clusterfuck, as far as she was concerned. How was she supposed to get this done without his help? She had been so damned excited to finally get the chance to work with him. She'd known him since enlisting, since he'd been the one to help Carroski with the arrangements for her MPA. Then, her whole career, she'd heard how the other soldiers respected him, what a fine officer he was. When he picked her to be his XO, she had been over the moon to finally get to see him in action. But now....

Now here she was, with his ship, his crew, taking over his command, with no idea what she had gotten herself into. What right did she have to give speeches to his people? To act as if she belonged here, in charge of them, in Anderson's place? Except, she was their commanding officer now, whether it felt right or not. And Joker wasn't wrong, either. Everyone on the ship knew it hadn't been her idea to take command. There was no resentment among them. Yet. There would be though, if she fucked this up.

"Thanks Joker," she said softly. "Yeah, I'll say something. Open the comm."

"On it."

She kept the speech short, simple. Things were going to be different from the usual Alliance shakedown. With three aliens on their crew already, that was obvious, but it needed saying. They all had to work together on this one. Still, things wouldn't be that different, and that needed saying too. It was still an Alliance ship, and they would do humanity proud. Joker gave her an encouraging smile when she finished and she slumped against the support wall.

"Guess all that PR training they subjected me to after the Blitz has paid off a bit," she said with a wry grin.

"Guess so," he laughed.

He turned back to his work and Winnie stayed where she was for a few more minutes, staring out at the stars as they maneuvered away from the Citadel and towards the relay. You can do this Shep, you can, she told herself. Because if you don't, who will? That reminder was enough to restore her calm. She straightened and slipped silently from the bridge, leaving Joker to his work. It was time to check on the rest of the crew.

First up was a quick briefing with Pressly, making sure all was well in the CIC. It was, though that came as no surprise. Anderson had told her the man was the definition of organization and that she could trust him to keep things in running order even in the midst of a crisis. It was good to know she had that kind of officer to depend on. He seemed hesitant about something, however, and when she pressed him, admitted to concern about allowing the aliens on the ship.

She repressed a sigh, knowing this would likely be only the first of many such complaints. She didn't speak up when she answered him, but she kept her voice clear and firm, knowing it would carry to everyone in the vicinity. Hopefully she could nip some of the questions in the bud up front, and trust in scuttlebutt to carry her words to the rest of the ship faster than the relay would take them to Therum.

"They've proven themselves to me already, Pressly, or I would not have asked them to join the crew. If we're going to be chasing Saren across the whole galaxy, then having Garrus, Tali, and Wrex on the crew," she made sure to stress their names, to dismiss the thought of them as some nameless threat, some "other" that should be looked upon with suspicion, "might help us get our feet through doors that would otherwise be firmly shut to humans. When we do take down Saren, it won't just be humans going after a turian. It will be a representative group stopping a threat to everyone. If we show we are willing to share the glory and the credit, then it might make the Council more amenable to doing the same."

Pressly was nodding thoughtfully, mulling over the words. She noticed a few other crew members pausing to consider as well. Good. It was a start. COs shouldn't need to spend every moment explaining themselves, she knew. It wasn't a good habit to fall into. But sometimes it was necessary. She was still an unknown to most of these people, reputation aside, and they needed to know they could trust her with decisions like this. A little trust earned now would go a long way later when she didn't have the time to help them understand. She excused herself, returning Pressly's salute before taking the stairs down to the crew deck and then hopping into the elevator.

Winnie paused in the storage bay, glancing around at her less than regulation crew. Williams and Garrus both seemed absorbed in their work, and Wrex was haggling with the requisitions officer. As she passed them on her way to engineering, she made a note to ask him to look into acquiring some more alien-friendly arms and armors when he restocked.

Things in engineering appeared to be running just as smoothly as the CIC. Winnie stifled a groan when Adams approached her and pulled her off to the side to speak about Tali. But she was relieved to find that he wanted to compliment the quarian's work and hoped she'd be allowed to continue helping his crew. That was better than she could have hoped for. She told Adams she had no objections, so long as Tali was willing, and excused herself to talk to the quarian in question.

She and Tali got wrapped up in a conversation about quarian culture that then wandered off into discussion of tech in general. She hadn't meant to spend so long down there, but Winnie emerged from engineering with a small smile on her face. As far as she was concerned, having aliens on her crew was proving to be quite interesting indeed. For all the traveling she had done since leaving Earth, she hadn't gotten to interact with the other races nearly enough, and Tali was the first quarian she'd actually ever gotten the chance to speak with. She seemed as tech-obsessed as Winnie, and Winnie couldn't help but think they would get along just fine.

A quick round of the storage bay ensured her that Wrex, Williams, and Garrus were settling in just fine. Like Pressly, Williams seemed concerned about allowing aliens on the crew, but from what she said of her background, Winnie couldn't really blame her. She gave the young chief a quick reprisal of her speech to Pressly and followed up by asking her to come to her immediately with any specific concerns, promising to look into them seriously. If Williams was concerned, she at least seemed willing to give the strange situation a chance, and Winnie was grateful for that.

Garrus seemed to have the least compunctions about working with a mixed crew. She supposed it had to do with his time in C-Sec. She spoke with him for a few moments, asking about his work, curious that he had been so eager to leave it and join up with her. It took all of five minutes for her to realize that he was the kind of cop who couldn't stand to let a bad guy get away. That was all well and good, but she hoped he wasn't also the kind to seek justice with no regard for the consequences. Still, impatient as he might come off at first glance, she found she wasn't that worried about him. He reminded her of Carroski, actually, and that gave her hope that he'd be more use than harm in the long run.

Wrex was eager as well, but he seemed perfectly willing to wait for directions. She likened him to a loaded gun, waiting to be aimed and fired. Wasn't very talkative, but that was fine. He'd be useful in a fight, and that was what she was looking for at the moment. As long as he followed orders, they'd be good.

Why do I get the feeling this might be a bit like herding cats until we all get used to working together? She smiled at the image as she stepped into the elevator. Every new squad had an adjustment period after all, and this particular squad drew on a much wider range of backgrounds than most. But she hadn't been feeding Pressly or Williams a line. She really did believe they were going to need that variety of perspectives to take down Saren. If they came at him straight, they wouldn't stand a chance. A sideways approach was definitely the way to go, she was sure of it.

Besides, at least the aliens didn't look at her like she was some kind of legend. It was unnerving, some of the looks she was getting. Respect was good, but there was such a thing as too much. She'd learned, over and over again, that it was the people you built up the most who could disappoint you the hardest. Having people aboard who treated her like just another soldier was a plus in her book. Thank the stars that Joker and Chakwas already seemed able to do that. It looked like Williams would, too. Hopefully in between the three of them and the aliens, the rest of the crew would start treating her like a regular CO before much time had passed. She'd much rather earn their respect with her actions than with her reputation.

Though maybe I shouldn't complain. They might be more willing to follow a "hero" in this crazy hunt than just some unknown newbie commander.

She was weighing what she knew about each squad member's skills when the elevator let her back out on the crew deck. For now she wouldn't try to assign any permanent teams, she decided. Instead, she would rotate the ground crews until she had a better sense of who worked best together and in what kind of situations. Might help to have another set of eyes on everyone, too, she mused, approaching Alenko. He had kept a cool head on Eden Prime, and she'd found herself thoroughly impressed. She thought he might be a good resource for evaluating how the rest of the crew worked together.

He was still working on the console she'd seen him at earlier and her train of thought was derailed entirely as she caught sight of his rear end sticking up in the air while he tinkered. That is a very nice ass indeed, she found herself thinking with admiration. A few moments later she blinked and shook herself, realizing she had been staring. A blush suffused her face and she was glad that he still seemed wholly focused on his work.

Down, Shep! She snapped at herself. Just because it's been a few years, she pushed down the unbidden image of eager brown eyes and a broad chest decorated with black ink that flashed in her mind, trying to ignore the surge of warmth it sent through her body, does not give you the right to ogle your crew.

Schooling her face, she took a few deep breaths and then cleared her throat to gain Alenko's attention.

"Commander," he turned and stood, wiping sweat from his brow and offering her a respectful smile. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."

"Lieutenant," she nodded in acknowledgement. His eyes were brown too, she realized, again pushing down the earlier memory. Though Alenko's eyes were darker, and more intense than eager. Warm though. She glanced at the console to avoid staring again. "Everything all right here?"

"Oh, it's fine. I was just fiddling, seeing if I can get it to run a little bit more efficiently. You know how new tech gets. There are always bugs right out of the box."

She laughed in agreement and they spoke for a few moments longer. He agreed with a thoughtful nod when she asked him to keep an eye on how everyone worked together in the field for their next few forays.

"Trying to figure out how to best put everyone together, ma'am?"

"Exactly that," she said with a smile, "and two heads are better than one."

"I'll keep my eyes open," he promised.

She thanked him and excused herself, turning toward her cabin. Small, but more than anyone else had. She wasn't about to complain. Well, not about the quarters, at least. Although she could not fathom how turians stayed in fighting condition without any sort of gym on board. Most ships she'd served on had included some kind of workout facilities (even if they had only been a few treadmills and a handful of weights tucked into some inconspicuous corner). She couldn't even set up a good course to run laps with the way the ship was set up.

Thank goodness for Sarah Jeffries, she thought to herself with a smile as she entered her cabin. Somehow, in the whirlwind of an investigation into Beall and the rush to bring down as many of the Reds as possible before they could skip town, the bank account Winnie had set up under one of her aliases had gone completely overlooked. So she'd gone on putting a portion of her earnings into the account (though a much smaller percentage than when she had lived with Beall), and made some solid investments with a chunk of it. Sarah Jeffries had quite a nice little nest egg built up.

It was no longer the secret hope of escape that it had once been, but now it was a nice little place to save up for a decent retirement, and the occasional desire to splurge on herself. After Winnie had learned she was getting command of the Normandy, it had been easy enough to move around a little of the money and order herself a nice compact treadmill for her cabin. Covering the money trail was second nature by now, so Winnie Shepard's treadmill wouldn't be traced back to Sarah Jeffries' account.

She considered the money well spent, after all. If she couldn't run, she would go mad. She glanced at her omni-tool to make sure she had enough time for a good run, shower, and nap before they got to Therum. Looked like she could just fit it all in. Winnie grinned as she started her run, letting her mind wander where it would, forgetting the worries and stresses of her new command at least for a little time. Alenko's warm eyes flashed in her mind and the grin widened. Even if this all went to hell, at least she'd have a nice view on the way.

Maybe I'd better find someone to help me work off some steam the next time we hit up the Citadel, she thought to herself with a laugh. Things are gonna get real awkward real fast if he catches me staring.

She laughed again, out loud this time, and shook off that line of thought.

Better than boring, though, Shep. And you never really did care for boring, did you?

Winnie hit her stride and let her mind drift to the stars, picturing the route from the Citadel to Therum, the smile never leaving her face.