Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Curtis

“I can’t save us, Curtis,” Devon told me, squinting his eyes looking down at his feet. My boyfriend and I were at the park on the swings, and I had just told him about my illness and how long I have to live.
“So...this is it, then?” I asked with a shaky voice.
After a long pause, he finally said “yeah”. I felt my heart shatter into pieces, but I just said “okay” and got off the swing. I walked home.

I, Curtis Allen, had just broken up with my now ex-boyfriend. I loved him, and I lost him to something that wasn’t even my fault. About four years ago, I found out that I have bone cancer. I take trips to the hospital from time to time. It’s become a second home to me. I’m familiar with the doctors, the nurses, the patients. Sometimes when things get really bad, they bring in a therapy dog for me. That’s when I’m the happiest.

No one knows about this. Well, not the full story, anyway. At school, my classmates know I get sick easily, but they don’t know why. I don’t really have any friends that could know. I always shooed everyone away until I met Devon. I really liked this guy. We were in the same club. The LGBT club. That’s how we met, and then we started going out. That lasted for a good three months.

The next day was a Monday. I actually liked Mondays. Mondays meant school, and school meant a distraction from this shit life. I don’t think about how thin and frail I am, I don’t want to throw up, I don’t think about how I have a year left to live. I just do my own thing and focus on that one thing. Who needs friends, anyway?

“Hey, watch this,” I heard a whisper as I walked towards the group of jocks. I knew what was coming, and I wanted to avoid it, but if I turned around and walked the other way, they’d probably just chase me down. Believe me, I can’t outrun a bunch of football players. So, I continued to make my way, getting ready for it.

“Hiya, Ginger!” One of them called. “Where are you going?” He walked in front of me as the others surrounded me. In case it wasn’t obvious, they call me Ginger because of my orange hair and freckles.
“To class,” I mumbled looking down at my blue chucks.
“Where?” He leaned in closer with a hand to his ear.
“To class,” I said a little bit louder this time.
“Of course you are!” He exclaimed.

I started walking again, trying to get through the jocks, but they made a wall to stop me in my tracks. I looked up at their smug faces. I hated them so much.
“What are you guys doing?” A familiar voice asked from behind me. I turned around to see Justin. Justin Foster. Tall dark haired and green eyed Justin Foster.

“Just giving the little guy a hard time,” another jock chimed in. I made eye contact with Justin. He then smirked.
“Let me join in,” he said.
“Do the honors, my man.”
Justin opened his mouth and stuck his thumb and index finger in to take out gum, and then stuck it on my forehead. I felt nauseous.

“Woah!” Another one of them went wide eyed looking at me. “He’s even paler than usual!” He cackled.
“Ew, I think he’s gonna throw up,” I heard a girl whisper from her locker.
Yep. That’s exactly what I did. I threw up on Justin’s shoes. It was like the entire school knew what happened and went quiet.
“You little fucking shit.”

I ran for my life as they chased me. People made way for them, and I felt my heart pounding harshly in my chest. I laughed. I couldn’t believe I actually threw up on Justin Foster! This was hilarious! Just then, someone had snatched me by my cardigan, so I slipped my arms out from the sleeves. But that only pissed them off more. I was caught, and beat up, spit on. I took it all. Today was a special Monday.

After they were done with me, they weren’t even laughing. They were genuinely pissed. I felt everything in my body throbbing.
“Where’s your boyfriend, Ginger?” They teased. “He dump you for another faggot?”
I hated that word. The “F” word. It made me sick to my stomach. I laid there and cried.

School was over, and I went home covered in bruises. I gave my parents the same excuse. I fell down the stairs.
“This is why you should go on independent study,” my mother said, tapping her pencil on her sketchpad. “You can’t even walk around without falling down. And look how easily you bruise!”
“Are you sure those kids aren’t giving you a hard time at school?” Dad asked.
“Why would they?” I looked up from my dinner. “And mom, please put work away when we’re eating.”

Dad sighed and ran his fingers through his short grey hair. Mom picked up her sketchpad and went to put it in her room. I sat there eating my food. I ate a spoonful of mashed potatoes, a bite of my chicken, and felt full.
“Try a little harder, okay?” Dad looked at me with blue eyes.
“This is as far as I can go,” I told him.
Dad took a very long pause before giving in. I picked up my plate, threw away my food, put it in the sink, and went upstairs to take a shower.

Justin

I slammed the front door open to see my dad and stepmom eating dinner together. They both looked at me.
“You’re home awfully late,” dad said.
“I had to go out and buy new shoes,” I shrugged and started for the stairs.
“It’s so sad,” Stacy, my stepmom, said grimly. “I feel so bad for Curtis.”
“I don’t,” I mumbled.

Suddenly, I heard Stacy sob. I stopped walking up the steps and looked over at them. Dad was comforting her. I admit, I was curious. Curtis used to be my friend, believe it or not. Our fathers are both police officers, and we’ve been friends since daycare. That was until sixth grade when he kissed me and told me he had a crush on me.

I felt betrayed. I felt heart broken. I lost my best friend that day, and I was disgusted with him. I was young back then, so I wasn’t really used to guys liking other guys or girls liking other girls. I thought it was the worst thing in the world that he kissed me. Now, I put up a front like I still hate him. He’s the nerdiest kid at our school, and I’m that typical jock that bullies the weak, especially Curtis. I didn’t hate him, though. No, not at all. If anything, I admire him.

“What’s going on with Curtis?” I asked, letting my curiosity get the best of me. Somewhere inside me I still considered him my best friend. Somewhere deep.
“His boyfriend broke up with him because he’s sick,” Stacy sobbed.
“Everyone gets sick though?” I quirked a brow.
“No, he’s sick sick, Justin,” dad turned his head. “Curtis has cancer.”

Chapter Text

Curtis

I stayed home from school the day after I got my ass handed to me by those jocks. I told my parents that I wasn’t feeling all that well. They offered to take me to the hospital, but I said no and that if I just get some rest I’ll be better in no time. They reluctantly let me stay home.

While my mom was in her work room and dad was at his job, I laid in bed staring up at the ceiling. I thought about Justin Foster. I had a dream about that time I kissed him back when we were eleven. He shoved me to the floor and wiped his mouth like my lips were the grossest thing his mouth has ever touched. Ever since then, we didn’t talk to each other. Then, in high school, he started to bully me. That’s how it all started. I wondered why I dreamed about that. I fell asleep pondering that thought.

I awoke to the sound of the doorbell ringing. I jolted awake because of the loud noise. I checked the time to see that it was four o’clock. I walked downstairs and headed towards mom’s work room to see that she was asleep at her desk with her drawings underneath her. I decided to get the door myself.

As I walked over to the front door, I hoped that whoever was there was gone by now. I really don’t like answering the door. I then looked through the peephole to see the one and only Justin Foster. I felt my heart sink into my stomach.

I pretended that I didn’t see anything and walked away from the door, but as I was heading for the stairs, he knocked. Loud. Something told me to answer the door, but another something told me to just ignore it. I went with that first something.

I opened the door, and looked up to see Justin’s green eyes looking down at me. I heaved a sigh.
“If you’re going to kick my ass, can we do it away from my house?” I asked. “My mom is sleeping.”
“Oh, uh, no,” he awkwardly said. “I’m not here for that.”
This had to have been a trap, and I fell for it.
“Can I come in?” He asked.
I stood on my tiptoes and looked passed his shoulder to see if any of his buddies were around. They weren’t.
“Sure.”

Justin and I sat on the couch in an awkward silence. I offered him water, but he didn’t want any.
“So what did you come here for?” I questioned.
“I just, uh…” he drifted off.
“You just…?”
“I just wanted to know if you’d like to date me?” He says this quickly without breaking eye contact with me.

“I thought you were straight?” I tilted my head, squinting my eyes at him in confusion.
“I am,” he said, “but I’m doing this for the both of us.”
“How so?”
“Well, if we date, you won’t get your ass beat anymore,” Justin snorted. “And as for me, I can make up for all those times I did you wrong.”
“So this is just for you,” I scowled, starting to get a little angry. He wasn’t doing this for me at all. He just wanted to feel better about himself.

“Look, I’m trying to change, okay?” He said. “Give me a chance. I’m trying to apologize to you.”
Then I realized something.
“You know, don’t you?”
“Know what?”
He was trying to play dumb.
“You know I have cancer and now you feel bad.”
“Well, yeah.”

If he didn’t know I had cancer, he wouldn’t have come over to apologize to me like this. He would have continued to push me around.
“Get out of my house,” I said, standing up.
“What?” He stood up as well. “I thought you liked me?”
“Liked you. As in past tense. I don’t like you anymore, especially after what you and your friends have done to me.”

“I’ve been feeling bad since the day we stopped talking,” Justin stepped closer to me. “I feel awful for everything, trust me. I regret everything that I’ve done and finding out you have cancer is just rubbing salt to the wound. There hasn’t been a day where I don’t think about you, I swear it.”

I didn’t want to fall for his sweet words, but I did anyway. I wanted to believe him so bad that I actually did trust him. Right when I was about to say something, Justin put both large, warm hands on my cheeks and leaned in to kiss me. That kiss took my breath away. It was a nice kiss, but it didn’t spark anything inside me. I pushed Justin away and wiped my mouth. I told him to leave, and without saying anything else, he left the house.

The next day, I made my way through the halls to get to my first period. I fixed the shoulder strap of my messenger bag as I passed by the jocks. I didn’t dare glance at them. Instead, I prepared myself. But I prepared myself for nothing. They just let me walk right by, until a voice stopped me in my tracks.

“Hey,” one of the jocks called. “Are you really dating Justin?” He asked. I turned around to look at him.
“Why? Did he say anything?” I quirked a brow in question.
Just then, Justin walked out of the boys’ bathroom where the guys were hanging out at. He wore his letterman jacket that I always thought he looked good in, but right now, I thought seeing him was the worst thing in the world. I was still mad at him.

“I already told you,” Justin said, walking over to me and putting an arm around me. “We’re dating. Get over it.”
“Whatever, man,” his right hand man shook his head with his hands in his pockets.
“That’s so cute,” a girl nearby whispered to her friend. It made me blush.

Chapter Text

Justin

As I was walking around searching for Curtis, Lance was asking me a million questions.
“Why the hell are you suddenly gay?” He asked. “It’s not that I care or anything, dude, but why that fucking loser?”
The only reason why he “didn’t care” I'm dating a guy was because I’m the main dude at this school. Whatever I say goes, and they follow. Don’t ask me why it’s this way, because I don’t know.

“We used to be friends a long time ago,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “And I used to like him. I guess I still do.”
“Then why would you let us treat him like shit?”
“You know how it is, man. You tease the people you like.”
“That wasn’t teasing,” a female voice said from behind us.

We stopped walking and turned around to see Amy, one of the cheerleaders. She had her brown hair tied in a high ponytail and her blue eyes shot daggers at me.
“Okay, maybe it wasn’t just a little teasing,” I looked away from her sharp stare.
“What’s really going on, Justin?” She asked sternly.
“Can I not like a guy?”
“You know that’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then there’s no problem.”

I walked off leaving them behind, and I could hear them talking about how they don’t understand me at all. They don’t need to understand me. The only one that does is Curtis. Speaking of, I saw him sitting at a table by himself eating his lunch that he brought from home.

I sat down next to him. He looked at me with pale blue eyes, and then looked back down at his sandwich to take a bite.
“Silent treatment, huh?” I scooted over closer to him.
“Go away, Justin,” he exhaled.
“I can’t do that,” I said before kissing his cheek. “We’re dating, remember?”

Curtis’ cheeks turned pink as he pursed his lips. I had to admit, he looked kind of cute. Bunny cute, that is.
“I know you hate me,” I said lowly. “But we can date until your time, you know, comes.”
I must have struck a nerve, because he started choking on his sandwich. I patted his back and he hurriedly grabbed a napkin to spit into it.

“Don’t ever bring that up here,” he warned me, his voice shaking as he looked at me with glossy eyes.
“Right,” I looked down. “Sorry.”
“If I date you, will your buddies leave me alone?”
“Definitely.”
“...fine,” he finally spoke after a long pause. “But don’t think I’m dating you because I like you. I’m only doing this so I don’t get my ass handed to me.”
“That’s fine by me,” I smiled in relief.
I held his hand under the table, and he didn’t flinch or try to snatch it away. He only let it happen.

Curtis

After school, Justin wanted me to watch his football practice. I told him I would, but not for the whole thing. He said that was fine by him. I sat on the bleachers watching them do push ups, sit ups. You know, the usual exercises. Then, they had a practice game. Justin was pretty good. I never really watched a football game. Now that we’re dating, I guess this meant I get to see him play more.

I ended up staying the whole practice, and when they were done, Justin came over to me. He took his helmet off and grinned at me.
“Did you like what you saw?” He asked.
I looked up at his bright green eyes that were full with excitement and pride.
“I mean, I guess,” I looked away, unable to handle how handsome he was.
“Dazzled by my good looks, are you?” He cackled.

I ignored his question and told him to take me home. He said “alright” and gave his farewells to his team, and then drove me home. In the car, we didn’t listen to anything. We only sat there in silence until we reached my house where he parked in the front.

“Listen,” he began. “I hope you know how badly I missed you as a friend. I just didn’t know how to get you back, so I kind of bullied you out of frustration with myself. And you already know about my self esteem issues. If I didn’t do what they wanted, I’d be an outcast.” I could hear his voice cracking and trembling as though he were about to cry.
“I’m not going to say it’s fine,” I said, “but your apology is accepted.”
“Thank you,” he said so lowly it was almost inaudible.

I looked at Justin through the corner of my eye to see a tear trail down his cheek. I took off my seatbelt, wiped his tear away, and gave him a kiss. He surprisingly kissed me back.
“Wow,” he chuckled. “Are you sure you hate me?”
“I don’t hate you,” I told him. “But don’t think I like you. That was just a distraction.”
“Thanks,” he said, half smiling.

Justin

I watched as Curtis left the car and walked into his house. I still felt the sensation of his lips on mine, and I kind of freaked out. I hadn’t felt like this in a while. I had no idea what it meant, and I didn’t like it.

I drove home in a daze. I felt like I wanted to kiss him again. I must have really missed having a friend. When I got home, I strolled into the house heaving a sigh.
“You’re not drunk, are you?” Stacy asked, looking up from her dinner with a concerned look. “Your face is red.”
I touched my cheek to feel that it was extremely warm.
“I’m fine,” I told her before walking upstairs to the bathroom in my room. She was right. My face was red.

Chapter Text

Curtis

A little while has passed since Justin and I started dating. We ate lunch together with his friends, I would sometimes watch him practice, and I would go to his games. We kissed from time to time, and it felt good each time. My sixth grade self would love this future.

Today was our first date. Justin said he was going to pick me up at my place around seven, so I got ready at six. I wore my favorite olive green sweater and a pair of grey jeans. I brushed my orange hair multiple times, wondering where we were going. He never told me exactly where our date was going to be.

It was now eight o’clock, and Justin was late. I knew I couldn’t trust him. He was probably making me get all dressed up for nothing to make me realize that there was no way he’d actually go on a date with me. I was a little surprised and hurt, honestly. Maybe somewhere deep down I still had feelings for Justin?

Just then, the doorbell rang. I sat on my bed staring down at my hands. I wanted to throw up. That feeling went away when I heard Justin’s voice come from downstairs.
“Hi,” I heard, but just barely. “Is Curtis here?”
“Oh!” Mom gasped. “You’re Justin! I haven’t seen you in so long!”
“It’s good to see you again, Mrs. Allen.”

I immediately put my shoes on, tied them, and ran downstairs to see Justin standing outside and my mom talking to him.
“Thanks for answering the door mom, gotta go, bye,” I rushed my words as I walked past her to grab Justin’s hand and pull him towards his car.
“Wait!” She called. “Is he your new boyfriend?”
“Yes,” Justin called back to her.
“Have him home by twelve!”
“Yes, ma’am!”

We both got in his car, and I told him to hurry so we can leave. When we drove off, I leaned back in the leather seat and ran my fingers through my hair.
“What was that all about?” He laughed.
“Whenever I bring someone over, my mom tends to ask a ton of questions,” I said, letting out a sigh. “And she will most definitely ask you where you’ve been since sixth grade.”
“You didn’t tell her?”
“No. Hell no.”

Back then, if I told her the real reason as to why we weren’t friends anymore, she would have had a talk with his parents and they could’ve gotten in an argument resulting in our dads not being buddy buddy at work. I couldn’t have that. When I explained this to him, he just said “I guess”.

“Anyway, why the hell are you an hour late?” I asked, glaring daggers at him. He glanced at me and made a confused expression.
“What are you talking about? We agreed on eight o’clock.”
“No, you said seven.”
“Ah, shit,” Justin cursed. “I put the wrong time on my calendar.”
My heart did a leap.
“You put it on your calendar?”

“Well, yeah,” he coughed. “This date means a lot to me, you know.” This date means a lot to me. This date means a lot to me. I never thought I’d hear those words come from his mouth about me. It made my heart throb almost painfully.
“Stop that,” I said, feeling myself blush.
“Stop what?”
“Stop making me like you again.”

I didn’t dare look up from my knees. I was too afraid to see his reaction. Then, he spoke up.
“Then stop making me start to like you,” he said.
“Shut up,” I forced laughter. “Your jokes aren’t helping me.”
“I’m not joking,” Justin’s voice was calm and serious. I lifted my head to look at him, but his eyes were fixed on the road. His green eyes glanced at me for a split second, and then went back to the road. We stayed quiet until we reached a bookstore.

Inside, it smelled like vanilla and almonds. I loved the scent. It almost made me forget what happened in the car. I wanted to ask him about it, but at the same time, I didn’t. If he likes me, my childhood dream would come true. But then again, we wouldn’t be together. What if he breaks up with me when he finds out how much longer I have to live like Devon did? I was afraid of that.

We went to the fantasy section and checked out some books there, then went to graphic novels, and then to self help. Justin just stood with his hands in his pockets, watching me carefully.
“If you were just going to be bored, why did you bring me here?” I asked.
“Well, I figured you like to read, so what better place than a bookstore?”
I chuckled. “Justin, let’s go somewhere you want to go.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“Then let’s go to the beach.”

Justin

I drove us to the beach that night, and I felt like my heart was pounding a little too much. I was head over heels for this dork and we had just started fake dating. But he likes me too. That’s the best part of this situation. I knew that I wanted to be with him, and I pretty much already confessed my feelings to him. Now, I just need to ask him to be completely mine.

We sat in the sand with our pants rolled up to our ankles and our toes dug into the sand. It was cold, but it felt good. Well, it felt good for me anyway. Curtis was shaking like a chihuahua. I took off my jacket and handed it to him.
“No, I can’t,” he smiled shyly. “You’re gonna get cold.”
“Not as cold as you are right now,” I said getting up and throwing the jacket over his head.

Curtis removed it from his head and slipped his arms into the sleeves. It was greatly oversized on him, but it looked cute. He hugged his knees to his chest staring down at his sand buried toes in silence. Now was my chance.
“So, uh, Curtis,” I stammered. Shit. “Do you want to, you know, date me?”
“We are dating,” he said.
“No, I mean...never mind.”

He didn’t say anything after that. He only hugged his knees closer and blushed rather adorably. I felt my face go hot a little, too.
“Justin,” he spoke my name.
“Yeah?”
“I would love to date you.”

I felt a grin tug at the corners of my mouth as I tried to conceal my excitement, but it didn’t work. I ended up having to cover my mouth.
“Are you okay?” Curtis laughed.
“Shut up,” I chuckled. “I’m happy, alright?”

Curtis then got on his knees and crawled over to me to kiss me, and I felt it. Oh, did I feel it. My heart fluttered and it was as though my lips were on fire. I loved it so much. I wanted to hold onto him forever.

I drove him back to his house before his curfew and walked him to his door. I smiled down at him as he grinned up at me.
“I’ll see you at school,” I said.
“Yeah. See you.”
I then leaned down to kiss him, and right when our lips touched, the door opened and there stood his mother.

I immediately pulled away and looked at her. She had a wide smile on her face and her eyes were rounded.
“I knew it!” She exclaimed.
“Mom!” Curtis turned beet red.
“H-Hello, Mrs. Allen,” I stuttered.

“Hello, Justin,” she smiled even wider if possible. “Thank you very much for making Curtis happy.”
“It’s my pleasure, really,” I said, scratching the back of my head in embarrassment.
“Okay, goodnight, Justin,” Curtis said quickly as he shoved his mother into the house and slammed the door. I stood there, feeling like my heart was going to burst.

Chapter Text

Curtis

One Friday, Justin picked me up from my house to take me to school. He wore his Letterman jacket, which meant two things. Either he has a game tonight, or he just wants to wear it. I said goodbye to my mom and dad, and then went outside to get in his car.

“Hey, cutie,” Justin greeted me with a kiss on the cheek. I couldn’t help but smile. “Hi,” I said, rubbing the side of my warm neck.
“You ready?”
“Yeah.”
And with that, we headed off.

Justin walked me to my first period, and gave me a peck on the lips before I walked into the classroom. I already missed him, as cheesy as it may sound. I missed the feeling of his lips on mine, the warmth of his hand. It made me forget that my life was going to end this year. In fact, if I really thought about it, I didn’t mind dying. I felt like all of my dreams came true and I could die peacefully. But then again, I didn’t want to leave Justin all by himself.

During lunch, Justin said he was going to be at practice and that it was going to take longer than usual, so I can go on home without him, and that’s what I did. I walked home looking down at my feet missing him, and just then, I bumped into somebody. I immediately apologized as I looked up to see a group of guys wearing letterman jackets from another school.

When they saw me, they smirked. I felt a chill go down my spine for I found this situation awfully familiar even though it hadn’t happened in a while.
“I’ll be on my way, then,” I clutched the strap to my messenger bag, but they snatched it pulling me back.

“You’re Justin’s faggot, aren’t you?” One of them spoke rather slyly. I swallowed hard and didn’t dare break eye contact with him. “Aren’t you?”
I didn’t answer them.
“Well, tell that queer that we’re gonna kick his ass at the next game.”
Again, I stayed quiet.
“You know,” he shoved me to the ground. “I don’t like quiet people.”

Justin

After practice was over, we went to the locker room to change out of our sweat drenched clothes, and boy was I sweaty. I felt good, though. I always feel good after a workout.
“Later, guys,” I waved at them.
“Hey, tell Curtis we said hi, lover boy!” One of the guys called. The others howled teasingly, and I laughed, telling them to shut it.

I drove home, and when I walked into the house, I saw that my dad was pacing back and forth with the phone in his hand and his other covering his mouth as he scowled at the floor.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked fixing the strap of my duffel bag.
“Curtis is in the hospital,” he said with a deep voice.

I nearly forgot how to breathe as I sped my way to the hospital. I didn’t care if I cut people off. I didn’t care about those damn speed limits. I just knew I had to get to Curtis. When I got there, I rushed to the front desk.
“Curtis Allen,” was all I could say.
“Oh, um,” the lady at the front desk seemed afraid. Just what kind of face was I making? “Room B132.”

I couldn’t even thank her because I was in such a rush to see him. I tapped my feet in the elevator with my fists at my sides. Once on the second floor, I sped walk feeling like I was going to throw up. I finally got to room B132 and opened the door.

“Curtis?” I said his name in question, trying to keep myself leveled. His parents were in the room standing by the bed where Curtis was sleeping, and when they heard me, they turned around to look at me with grim expressions.
“Justin,” Mrs. Allen spoke silently. “He’s going to be okay.”
“What happened?” I walked in closing the door behind me.

“These guys from Summerfield High got ahold of him,” Mr. Allen scowled. “Did you know anything about this?”
“No, I just found out he was here,” I said honestly. “I came over as soon as I could.”
So it was Summerfield. They were trying to push my buttons because there’s a game next week, and it worked.
“I’ll go take care of it right now,” I turned on my heel to walk out of the room until Curtis’ voice stopped me.

“Justin,” he weakly said my name. “Don’t do it. You’ll get kicked off the team.” Curtis started to slowly sit up and made a pained face, so his mother carefully set him back down.
“Honey, don’t move,” she told him.
“Justin, please,” Curtis choked out through tears. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

I looked at his glossy blue eyes as he cried and cried, begging me not to do it. I told him that I wouldn’t, and that I was going to stay right by his side.
“Thank you,” he sniffled wiping tears away from his wet cheeks. I walked over to him and wiped them away with my thumb. I wanted to kiss his cheek, but I figured it would be inappropriate seeing how we’re right in front of his parents.

Curtis

Dad got called back into work, and mom stayed along with Justin. Those guys broke my wrist, but the doctor said it’ll heal within six weeks, thankfully. Justin sat in the chair next to the bed where I laid in pain, but he tried distracting me from it by rubbing my knuckles with his thumb.

“So, Justin,” mom suddenly spoke up from reading her book. “How have you been? It’s been, what, six years?”
“Yeah, it’s been a while,” he responded to her still holding my hand. “I’ve been okay. How about you?”
“I’ve been well, thank you for asking. But I’m glad you and Curtis are together again, and more than happy that you’re together as more than just friends.”
“Me too,” Justin smiled.

After a while, mom closed her book and said she was going to go home to work on her manuscript so we could get some alone time. With that, she left the room. When the door fully closed, Justin let out a sigh.
“I can kiss you now,” he smiled at me, making me blush.

He put a hand on my cheek and gave me a peck on the lips, but I wanted more, so I leaned in to fully kiss him. I felt his lips curl into a smile, and when we pulled away, I saw that he was grinning like an idiot. His cheeks turned red as he looked down, chuckling to himself. Suddenly, he stopped.

“Look, I’m sorry, Curtis,” he apologized looking into my eyes. His green orbs were beautiful even when they were sad. “If I had been there for you, I would’ve done something.”
“You have no reason to apologize,” I squeezed his hand. “Now if you sent those guys after me, that’s a different story.”
“I didn’t.”
“I know you didn’t,” I laughed.

“Curtis, next time you come across guys like that, I want you to run as fast as you can,” Justin told me with a serious face.
“Okay,” I responded, giving him a nod.
“Good.”
Justin then looked down, and I had a feeling that he was still feeling guilty, so I kissed his head.
“You sure are affectionate today.”
“I’m drugged,” I chuckled.

Justin stayed to talk with me until nine o’clock. That’s when his dad texted him telling him to come home and eat dinner.
“I’ll see you later,” he said, brushing back my bangs and kissing my forehead. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” I responded with a smile as he walked out of the hospital room.

Chapter Text

Justin

Curtis’ injuries eventually healed. I prayed for him, which is something I don’t normally do. I must really like this guy. I think I love him?
“Justin,” dad called me from downstairs.
“Yeah?” I called back.
“Get down here.”

I walked down the stairs feeling like something happened to Curtis again. If those same guys got to him again, I was going to kick their asses. I don’t care about being kicked off the team anymore. I just knew I had to get those guys back for him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Curtis’ parents are going on vacation for a month,” he explained, “and they wanted to know if you can stay at their house and watch him.”
“Sure,” I shrugged, trying to hold in my excitement.

Stacy smiled. I knew what she was smiling about. They figured out I was dating Curtis when Mr. Allen called my dad and said how happy he was that we were dating. That was when we had our first date. That was when I fell for him.
“When are they leaving?”
“Tomorrow.”

Curtis

Today was the day that mom and dad were going to Hawaii. They wanted to leave me here so Justin and I could have some more “alone time”. They must really like him. We all sat in the living room waiting for Justin to get here so they could leave. They had a list of rules ready for him in an envelope.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Mom and dad excitedly got up and answered the door to see Justin there with a duffle bag on one shoulder and a backpack on the other.
“Hello,” he greeted. I smiled as I watched him conversate with my parents. “Thank you for trusting me with him.”
“I’m not a dog, you know!” I called from the living room.
“Well, thank you for agreeing to take care of him while we’re gone! Okay, here’s a list of rules and some money for groceries,” mom handed him the envelope. “Bye!”

With that, they both left the house leaving Justin confused as hell. He laughed as he walked in and set his stuff down by the couch.
“Well, that was something,” he said.
“Yeah,” I chuckled. “Open up the envelope. I wanna see how much money they left.”
“Sure,” he started opening the envelope, and when he peered inside, his face turned beet red.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, trying to look inside the envelope, but he snatched it away and hid it behind his back.
“It’s nothing!” His voice cracked, but when he tried hiding it from me, something fell. I looked down to see a condom on the floor. I started to laugh.

“That’s not funny,” Justin sighed running his fingers through his black hair. “Your parents must really like me, huh?”
“Oh, hush,” I had to wipe a tear from my eye.
“Oh it’s just hilarious, isn’t it?” He stepped closer to me and started kissing my neck.
“Justin, stop,” I laughed a little. “It tickles!”

Just then, he started sucking a certain spot that made me let out a moan. I felt him smirk on my skin, and then he pulled away looking down at me with a smug grin plastered on his face.
“Found it,” he chuckled.
“A-Anyway,” I gently pushed him away. “I’ll show you where you can put your stuff.”

I led him upstairs to my room and told him he could just set it down by the closet door, so that’s what he did.
“So,” Justin began. “Should I take us out to dinner?”
“No, it’s okay,” I waved my hand. “I can cook.”
“Marry me,” Justin said quickly.
“Shut up,” I laughed.

Justin

I was only half joking. I wanted to marry him, but I didn’t want to ask him right now. I wanted it to be bigger than that. Curtis ended up making us spaghetti which I devoured quickly. What can I say? My boyfriend is a good cook. That, and I’m a growing boy. A growing boy has to eat.
“Was it that good?” Curtis asked with rounded eyes.
“Hell yeah it was,” I smiled at him. “Hey, can I use your shower?”

“Sure,” he nodded picking up our plates and taking them to the sink. “The bathroom is upstairs all the way to the right. There should be towels in the closet in there.”
“Thanks,” I said getting up and heading upstairs to Curtis’ room to grab a change of clothes and went to the bathroom.

In the shower, I thought about how Curtis and I were like a married couple. All that was missing was the cute nicknames like calling each other “honey” and all that junk. Just when I was about to scrub shampoo in my hair, I heard the door open.

“J-Justin,” I heard Curtis stammer. I pulled the shower curtain back a little to take a peek at Curtis who stood there with a towel around his waist. I swallowed hard. “Can I join you?”
“Yeah, uh, sure,” I nodded my head opening the curtain a little more for him to step in. He dropped the towel and I couldn’t help but look at his beautiful figure. He had freckles that spotted his legs and his arms. I thought they looked really cute.

Curtis joined me in the shower, and I tried my best to think about something else so I don’t, you know, get there. But, it looked like Curtis beat me to it. I noticed it when I turned around to look at him. He was taking care of himself. It was over.

I turned the shower off and turned around to lift Curtis off his feet and carried him to his room. His entire body felt hot, and so did mine as we stared into each other’s eyes. I carefully dropped him on his bed and kissed him deeply and passionately. He had his fingers in my hair as he kissed me back and I touched him carefully. The way he moaned my name was sweet. The rest was just a hot, messy blur.

Curtis

The next morning, I awoke in an ache. I felt like my hips were just smashed. I fluttered my eyes open to see Justin’s sleeping face close to mine. It made me smile. I tucked small strands of dark hair behind his ear and kissed his lips softly.
“I love you,” I whispered.

Justin’s nose scrunched and he slowly opened his pretty green eyes. He reached over to put his large, warm hand on my cheek.
“I love you too,” he whispered back.
“Justin, I have to tell you something,” I said grimly. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. If he was going to break up with me, we should do it now before our relationship gets any further than this so that he won’t be so hurt.

“What is it?” He asked sitting up and looking down at me. I stayed laying down because I knew I couldn’t get up.
“I...I only have five more months to live.”
Justin squinted his eyes down at me. “What do you mean? How do you know?”
“When I went to the hospital, they told me how long I have left,” I explained to him. “If you want to break up then that’s okay. Really, it is. Devon did it, and I understood. Please be honest with me how you feel about this.” I choked up. I thought I wanted to set him free, but in reality, I just wanted him to stay with me.

“Curtis, there is no way in hell I’m leaving you,” Justin said to my surprise. “I’m staying with you until your time comes. I’ll walk with you through this.” He, too, started to cry. “I promise.”
I slowly sat up in pain, but I hugged him anyway, continuously apologizing.
“I’m sorry,” I cried. “I’m so sorry.”

Chapter Text

Justin

A month after our first time doing you know what together, our last game came up, and I’ve been saving up money within that month. I bought something very important. Mom and dad pitched in, too. So did Curtis’ parents. Finally, I had the right amount of money.

I gave some cash to Curtis and his parents for tickets at the football game, and they thanked me. Curtis wanted to know why they were going too, and they just said they wanted to see my last game. He seemed to have bought it, thankfully.

That night at the game, we were kicking ass. And the guys said I’d be too distracted. Yeah, right. Actually, to be honest, I thought I would be distracted too. However, I guess it only just motivated me to try harder. Half time came, and it was time for me to work my magic.

Curtis

I was glad that mom and dad came with me to Justin’s game. Usually, I go alone, but this time I got to talk about the game with someone. Last time I went to his game, and Justin scored a touchdown, I leaned over to the stranger sitting next to me and said, “that’s my boyfriend”.

It was halftime, and I started to feel hungry, so I got up to get some nachos until mom grabbed my hand to stop me.
“Don’t you want to watch the cheerleaders?” She asked.
“I guess,” I shrugged and sat back down.

The cheerleaders grabbed a banner from behind their boxes and held it up. I was looking down at my stomach that was growling, so I didn’t see what it said. Then, I heard everyone cheering and making a big ruckus, so I looked up to see what it was all about and saw that the banner read in all caps, “CURTIS ALLEN, WILL YOU MARRY ME?”

Curtis Allen. That was me! Immediately my eyes started watering up, and I was speechless. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Just then, I felt someone touch my shoulder. I shot my head to the side to see one of the cheerleaders smiling at me.

She grabbed me by the hand, stood me up, and walked me down to the football field where Justin was standing with a hand behind his back. The cheerleaders all had their pompoms in the air cheering while I walked to him with warm tears strolling down my cheeks, covering my mouth.

When I finally reached Justin, he took off his helmet, got down on one knee, and pulled out a small box from behind his back.
“Curtis Allen,” he had to raise his voice a little so I could hear him. “When we graduate, will you marry me?”

I looked down at the box to see that there was a gold wedding ring that was just for me and for me only. I couldn’t say yes, so I nodded. I nodded with a huge smile on my face, and Justin grinned from ear to ear like a fool. I tackled him, and told him that I love him nonstop. Everyone in the bleachers went berserk, even on the other side. People whistled and howled.

The guys helped me off of Justin and helped him up. He had to pick up the box because he dropped it when I tackled him, and then slipped the ring onto my finger. Then, we kissed. He was a little sweaty, but it was still really romantic. I loved it so much. I loved him. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this guy.

After the game was over, Justin and I went to dinner together. He already had reservations, so we sat at a table by the window where we got a beautiful view of the night sky.
“How much did it cost to get the cheerleaders to get in on it?” I asked.
“Nothing at all,” Justin shrugged looking down at his food with a smile. “I was going to pay them until they said they’d do it for free. They said it was their pleasure.”
“I see,” I chuckled. “That was very sweet of them.”

“So,” Justin looked up at me with a warm smile and a look in his green eyes. “What do you think about the sound of Curtis Foster?”
“It’s beautiful,” I told him honestly. It really did sound beautiful- no, gorgeous. It was like music to my ears.
“Curtis Foster,” I whispered to myself. Just then, I felt like something was caught in my throat. I started coughing, making my ribs hurt. I covered my mouth as people stared.

“Curtis,” Justin got up from his seat and walked over to me. “Are you okay?” His voice was filled with worry.
I kept coughing and coughing as the pain moved from my stomach to my chest. I looked at my hand to see blood on my palm. Then, I fainted. The last thing I remembered was the sound of Justin’s voice, and the sound of the rain.

Chapter Text

Justin

All I could remember from that night was me yelling at the top of my lungs for some help. I remember crying my eyes out at the waiting lounge in the emergency department. Two hours passed since he went into the ER, and I felt numb. My eyes and throat were painfully dry but my heart was still breaking.

“You can come in to see him now,” I heard a voice say. I looked up to see the doctor. Mr. and Mrs. Allen were here, too, crying as well. We went in to see Curtis laying on the bed in a hospital gown. He had an oxygen mask on with a needle in his arm. He was sleeping peacefully. Almost too peacefully.

“He’s not…?” I began, but couldn’t finish my question.

“No,” the doctor said quickly. “But, his cancer is progressing faster than we thought.”

“How long does he have to live?” Mrs. Allen asked, squeezing her husband’s hand. The doctor kept eye contact with her.

“He has until next month.”

I felt like throwing up when I heard him say that. There was no way. I had always thought that we would grow old together. I didn’t want him to die, so I pushed it so far back into my mind I completely forgot about it.

“But we were supposed to get married,” I managed to choke out. Silence filled the room until the doctor spoke up.

“You can have the wedding here before April,” he said. “It’s happened before. We’ll even do it for free.”

I couldn’t even smile, but believe me, I was grateful.

“Thank you.”

Just then, Curtis woke up. He slowly opened his blue eyes to look up at us. He opened his mouth to speak, but shut it as tears formed in his eyes and he smiled.

“We’re still getting married?” He whispered.

“Definitely,” I walked over to him to hold his hand carefully. I lifted it to my lips and kissed it gently.

After a while, I eventually had to leave. Stacy and dad were worried shitless about me. I didn’t tell them where I’d be.

“I’m sorry, Curtis,” I apologized to him squeezing his hand lightly. He squeezed back weakly. “I gotta go.”

“It’s okay,” he smiled softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too. I promise I’ll be back tomorrow, and I promise we’ll have that wedding.”

“Okay. Bye, Justin.”

“See you later.”

I left the building, and right when I pulled out my phone to call Stacy to come pick me up, a male voice called my name. I turned my head to see Mr. Allen.

“Let me take you home,” he suggested.

In his car, I gave him my address, and we drove to my house in silence. When we got there, I thanked him for the ride.

“Justin,” he spoke my name lowly. “I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for Curtis. You made him so happy that he’s finally at peace with dying.”

I stayed quiet to let him finish.

“Before, he would cry at night, so loud that it would wake us up. And when we went in there, he just told us he didn’t want to die. Now, he’s okay with it because he has you to be there for him until his time comes.”

A tear strolled down Mr. Allen’s cheek and he didn’t even wipe it away. He only smiled and sniffled.

“You made Lisa and I happy, too. We know he’s in good hands and know that he can go happily. You gave him life even if it was just for a while. You gave us his life.”

“Thank you so much for letting me be with him,” I felt myself choke on my words.

“You tell your parents I said hello, now.”
“Yes, sir.”

And with that, I left the car.

I walked into the house, and Stacy and dad looked up at me from the dinner table. Stacy stood up.

“Where have you been?” She asked sternly.

I couldn’t handle it anymore. I went weak in my legs and collapsed to my knees. I hid my face in my hands and cried, screaming. They both put their hands on my shaking shoulders, but I just stayed there, sobbing loudly as warm tears burned my eyes. My voice cracked as I yelled. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I couldn’t believe it.

Chapter Text

Curtis

Dad helped me in my white tuxedo. I felt like I could barely stand, but I knew I had to. I had to be strong for Justin. I didn’t want him to worry about me today. After all, today was our wedding day.

I looked at myself in the mirror, thinking, look at this fine piece of work. I smiled at my own reflection until I noticed the dark circles under my eyes.
“Mom, is there makeup that can cover this?” I asked touching the dark circles.
“Of course,” she said, and dug into her purse to pull out something powdery. I wasn’t quite sure what it was called, but she put some of it under my eyes. I looked back in the mirror to see that they were covered up, much to my relief.

“Are you ready?” My dad asked from the doorway. I turned around to look at him with a wide smile on my face. He, too, smiled. “You look great.”
“Thanks, dad.”
“Let’s go,” he said. “You’re finace is waiting.”

I tried walking over to him, but I felt weak, and had to grab onto the bed. I looked up at my dad, then at mom.
“I’ll go get a wheelchair,” she said and left the room.
I wanted to cry, but I knew it would ruin the makeup.

As my dad pushed me down the aisle in the wheelchair, everyone stood up. I saw very familiar faces. Doctors, patients, nurses, and even the football team and cheer squad were there. Other kids from my classes showed up as well.

I looked around at them with a smile, but then I remembered who really mattered in this situation. I looked up to see Justin in a black tux. Boy, did he look handsome. His green eyes shined bright as they looked at me with love, and I felt like crying tears of joy and sadness. I was very happy that I was going to spend the rest of my life with Justin, but sad that it was so short and that I’ll be leaving him behind.

When we reached the altar, I stood up and slowly walked over to Justin who made his way towards me and helped me stand and stay up.
“Shall we begin?” The priest asked.
“Yes,” I nodded.

I couldn’t even focus on what the priest was saying. All I could do was gaze into Justin’s perfect eyes and facial features. He was just perfect. This moment was just perfect. We said our vows, slid on the rings, and said our “I do’s”, then, we kissed. Everyone cheered, and we both smiled with our lips still pressed on one another.

We had our first dance to the song Turning Page by Sleeping at Last. It was one of my favorites. Then, they played This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory. It was my number one favorite. Justin and I danced to that song as well. He sang the lyrics in my ear quietly as we swayed to the music.
“You know this song?” I asked.
“I only know it because you sing it every time,” he laughed, and so did I. I pressed my forehead against his chest, feeling weak again, but I didn’t dare tell him that.

Justin

Every moment of the wedding, people clang their forks against their glasses, signaling for us to kiss, which we did every two seconds even without the signal. I was talking to the guys from the team when all of the sudden Luke asked me if Curtis was okay, pointing behind me.I turned around to see him sitting in his wheelchair with his hand on his forehead.

“I’ll go take him back to the room,” I said walking towards him. He looked up at me when he heard my footsteps. “Come on.” I walked behind him to grab the handles of his wheelchair and pushed him out of the cafeteria.
“I’m fine,” he breathed out, but he clearly wasn’t. He looked pale.

We were in the elevator in silence until I complimented him. Curtis gave a small smile and said I look hot. I laughed. When we reached his hospital room, I picked him up and carefully laid him down in his bed.
“Justin,” he spoke my name very weakly. “I think this is it for me.”
“Yeah, right,” I forced a chuckle. “You’re gonna live through this.”
I knew he wasn’t, but I said it anyway.
Curtis smiled. “Hell yeah I will.”

I held his hand as he slowly closed his eyes. He told me he wanted me to sing to him, so I asked him what song. He said the second song we danced to. This Side of Paradise. So, that’s what I did. I softly sang the lyrics to him, and he still kept a small smile.
“I love you, Justin,” he whispered. “I love you.”
I continued to sing to him until his hand went cold and limp, and then I stopped.

“I love you too, Curtis,” my voice cracked as my vision blurred through tears that streamed down my cheeks. I lifted his cold, dead hand to my lips and kissed it, then kissed his forehead, and then kissed his lips one last time.
“I love you.”

Chapter Text

Justin

Curtis had died the night of our wedding. I was numb, but it hurt so damn much. I went through therapy, got put on antidepressants, and went to support groups. None of it helped my broken heart, though. One night when Stacy and dad were sleeping, I snuck into their room to grab the gun from his nightstand, and left. I walked into my room, told Curtis I loved him, and right when I was about to pull the trigger, my bedroom door slammed open and my dad tackled me.

“Let me die!” I shouted as he pinned me down. “Let me die, please!” I sobbed and sobbed. Stacy grabbed the gun and took it away from us.
“Stop it, Justin!” Dad shouted. “Stop!”

I ended up going to the emergency room that night. A psychiatrist there suggested I go to a mental institution so they can keep an eye on me. I didn’t object, because then they’d really keep me in there for a long time. I agreed to it.

We went home to pack my things. I packed shirts, sweaters, pants, boxers, a toothbrush, and slippers. The whole time I thought about Curtis and how disappointed in me he would be. But I know him better than that. He’s not the type to judge.

In the car, we drove to Patterson Institution. I looked out the window watching the passing scenery, feeling tired. So was dad, so I told him to wake up, but he didn’t. He fell asleep with his foot on the gas. I looked to my right to see a car speeding towards us.

“Justin!” I heard a distant voice call my name. “Justin, open your eyes!” It was dad, and I felt like I was dying. No, I knew I was dying.
Ah, I thought. God is on my side.

“Justin?” I heard a soft voice call my name. “Justin? Is that...you?” The voice got closer and closer until I fluttered my eyes open to see Curtis standing there in his white tuxedo, and I looked down at myself to see I was wearing my black one, and looked at my hands noticing I was wearing my ring.

“Justin,” Curtis teared up and ran towards me. I also rushed to him until we embraced. I was so happy to see him. I was so happy.
“I missed you so much! Why did you die, you bastard?!”
“I missed you too, Justin!” He cried.

We pulled away from one another, and I held his hands looking into his glossy blue eyes. I saw my reflection through them. I felt our wedding rings touch, and knew that this was going to be my eternity with him. We kissed. I knew from that moment that my happiness is here. It was here.
“I love you,” Curtis pressed his forehead against my chest.
I kissed his head. “I love you too, Curtis.”