Archive of Our Own ^beta

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It was a trip to Hershey Park with the X-men.   And Scott couldn’t help laugh at the fact that in all Logan’s lifetime, he’d never bothered with a rollercoaster.   From the corner of his eye, he could see how nervous his boyfriend was getting. 

“I’m not going on that damned thing, Scott,” Logan huffed as he stood before the entrance to the line, watching as the trains launched out one by one up the two hundred foot high yellow track, then dropped nearly straight down to the lake below.

“Logan, it doesn’t even flip.  And it’s not like it’s taking its sweet ass time getting you up there, you’re up and down like that.”  Scott gave his fingers a quick snap and smirked as he swiveled his head to Logan.  “What’s the worst that could happen?  You’re practically indestructible!”

“Practically,” Logan emphasized, as if he’d be thrown off the ride.  Each row had four cars.  The two seats on the ends were called the ‘wing’ seats.  They were lower set than the middle two and a few inches further back, and there was no track below the riders’ feet.

“We’ll take the middle two then.”  Scott knew Logan all too well, recognizing what he was concerned about.  When he squeezed his hand, he yanked him onto the line and stood behind him so any attempt to escape was futile.

“Ass,” Logan chuckled as the line moved a bit more rapidly than he’d wanted it to.  Along the whole line were pictures of the correct way to hold the handlebars, and other notices saying things like, You will experience extended periods of negative G-forces (airtime). “Airtime?” Logan questioned as he forced himself up the staircase to the waiting coaster.

“Oh, just like when you lift out of your seat a little bit.”  Scott said it as if it was no big deal.  Obviously Logan thought otherwise.

“Better hold onto your shades.” Logan glanced up at the lap bar, pulling it down over his head and checking it about five thousand times.

“The ride totally kills your thighs!” A little boy broadcasted to everyone else getting situated.

“Thighs? Please.” Logan shifted under the lap bar.  “I guarantee this kills anyone with decently sized testicles.  My balls better not be purple when I get off, Scott.”  He glanced over at Scott, who had his lips pressed together as his face flushed bright red and he stifled a laugh.”

“Dispatch.”  The voice of the ride operator sounded across the line. 

Before Logan could tear himself off, they were at the top and then came crashing down at the speed of light, or so it seemed.  Logan could’ve sworn he saw home from the top. 

While everyone else was laughing, crying, or closing their eyes, Logan was the one completely stunned and screaming profanities at the top of his lungs.  How the hell was Scott laughing like a kid on a carousel?  Suddenly the sharp turns and twists came to an end, the coaster pulling back to the station.

He was off of the car as soon as that lap bar sprang up.  When Scott caught sight of Logan’s NEVER AGAIN face, he snorted and nearly choked on his own laughter. These ride photos were definitely worth a purchase. And he kept wheezing the entire way back to the ride line the rest of the group was on.

Bobby raised a brow and called out, “Hey Logan! How was it?!”

Logan growled, since Bobby’s wide, comical grin revealed he already knew the answer.  His balls were probably purple.

Chapter Text

April Fools’ Day.  God help everyone in the mansion.  Kurt was teleporting here and there when no one expected it, bringing them to other rooms or just scaring them out of their socks.

No one bothered Scott, at least not usually.  Because he rarely had a reaction to waking up with whip cream on his face or his hands in a bowl of lukewarm water.  He’d just sit up with that unamused expression across his lips, his brows raised just over the rim of his glasses and say “Run along kids,” or “Really, guys?”

For Logan it was an entirely separate matter.  He’d yell at the kids, but he’d never dare use his claws on them.  He just wasn’t like that.  Plus, the result was entirely worth it.  He’d furrow his brows in confusion and then murmur blasphemies under his breath.  On occasion, pranks made him lose his grip on the cigars he was so fond of, and he watched in slow motion as it plummeted like an eagle to the floor.  The world would fall silent, and then the mother of all atomic weapons, the F-bomb, would ring through the mansion.  As the word vibrated through the air, one could almost see the disturbances on the African plain.  Antelopes perking their heads up and entire flocks of birds swarming out of a tree.

Bobby and Alex had absolutely no regrets when it came to messing with good old Wolvie.   They’d recently bought a bottle of the shampoo Logan usually used and combined it with a pleasing amout of pink hair dye.  Not the pale pink that blonde girls sometimes dyed the ends of their hair.  But a hot, screaming pink that would be able to challenge the sight of Scott’s beams.  “Sneaking into Logan’s bathroom, Bobby carefully swapped the shampoos and smirked.  Boy was he satisfied with himself.  “Shampoo, five dollars.  Pink hair dye, sixteen dollars.  The look on Logan’s face when he looks in the mirror? Priceless.” 

                The boys rushed from the room as swiftly as they’d entered, playing it cool as Logan routinely walked into his own room.  Scott wasn’t too far behind.        

                After shutting the door, Scott wrapped his arms around Logan’s impossibly firm waist from behind, touching his lips ever so gently to Logan’s shoulder blade.  “Yes?” He whispered in a shy and sensual tone, his words sending a shiver through Logan’s skin.

                “You got it. Just lemme’ go shower okay?” Once Scott gave a nod of approval, Logan grabbed a towel and stepped into the bathroom. 

                While Scott loosened up his clothes and laid back impatiently, Logan took his precious time.  He filled his hands with the shampoo and ran his fingers back and forth through his hair.  The steam was borderline suffocating as it filled the bathroom.  Logan loved the smell of it, even though he wrinkled his nose at the faintly different scent around him.  It was most likely nothing.  It always was.  After scrubbing down the rest of his body, he rinsed out his hair following the conditioner.  He wasn’t the type to tilt his head back gracefully as water ran down his sculpted sides and thighs while steam rose all around him.  That was more Scott.  He was like that sometimes, but was more likely to be caught with his foot up against the tile wall as he scrubbed down wherever he could.

                “Logan,” he could hear Scott whine from the bedroom.  “Are you coming or what?!”  Scott was probably waiting, ready to pounce on him when he came out of the shower all clean with steam radiating off his skin.  When Logan finally walked out, not bothering to wrap a towel around his waist, Scott almost leaped off the bed, until he froze in dead shock.

                “What?”

                Scott suddenly let out a roar of laughter, rolling around half naked on the bed.  This triggered Bobby and Alex to snicker and wheeze until their sides hurt as they pressed their ears to the door.

                “YOUR HAIR!!!” Scott shrieked and wiped tears from his eyes.  “W-WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!” He pounded his fist on the mattress as Logan slammed the bedroom door open after taking a single glance in the mirror.  “Come back here!” Scott teased, not caring that he was visible from the hallway outside.

                Logan forgot he was naked. “Who the HELL did this?!” Everyone gave him wide eyes as Alex shielded his eyes.  Bobby just bit his lip and choked out a snort.      

                “I oughtta’ kill you.” Logan almost extended his claws when it dawned on him. He slowly, pink haired, turned around on his heels with a straight face and shut the door without making a sound.”

                “HAVE FUN BRO!” Alex yelled from the living room.