Chapter Text
I was telling the truth when I said that I believed the Phantom Thieves were immoral. I know it sounds absurd now that I’ve revealed the depths of my own crimes, but I truly did believe that their “change of heart” was nothing but brainwashing.
If one’s heart is sufficiently changed such that a man who could not feel guilt suddenly feels remorse for his actions, is he even the same man? If he is not, can it even be considered punishment? That was my line of reasoning.
Now, I’m not so sure. After all, here I am years later professing my sins with my own mouth (or pen, I suppose). I had no dramatic alteration of self, and yet something has successfully “changed my heart.” Was it my own free will that did this? Or was it someone else’s wish? Either way, the outcome is the same.
- “The Crow Falls at Midnight”, Chapter 17
im da joker baby @jokeren2
thanks for helping us raise 3 million yen for victims of domestic violence 👍
✨ANGEL✨@angel_ass
are you seriously not gonna acknowledge what happened LMAO
m e i k o @rakshasassy
ARE YOU GUYS DATING NOW OR WHAT
stan critical thinking @setaunta
pls was that staged or did yall actually get into an impromptu fistfight/makeout live on stream
“Stay still,” Ren muttered, carefully dabbing Akechi’s busted lip with a cotton ball soaked in alcohol. He had freckles, Ren realized. Had he always had freckles? They were almost too light to see. Akechi probably hid them under makeup most of the time.
As the thought crossed his mind, he pressed down a little harder than intended. It must have been painful, but Akechi didn’t flinch.
They were in Ren’s bathroom. Ren was seated on a tall kitchen stool, and Akechi on the side of the tub. They were sitting close enough that their knees touched. Ren tossed the cotton ball in the trash.
“Does it look like I’ll need stitches?” Akechi asked.
Ren touched Akechi’s chin with the tips of his fingers and tilted Akechi’s face up to examine the wound. The swelling wasn’t too bad and the cut itself had stopped bleeding. Part of Ren didn’t want to reopen it; the other part of him wanted to taste Akechi’s blood again.
“Nah,” Ren said. Akechi wouldn’t be doing any photoshoots any time soon, but it probably wouldn’t even scar (at least, that was Ren’s non-expert opinion). Ren started to pull his hand back to grab the cold compress he’d grabbed from the freezer, but Akechi caught his wrist. He pulled Ren’s hand in front of him and turned it over.
“You should bandage this,” he muttered, staring at the small cut where Ren’s front knuckle had grazed one of Akechi’s teeth. Ren had washed it out and disinfected it earlier, but it wasn’t bleeding anymore so he’d left it alone.
“Yeah,” Ren tried to say. It came out as a whisper.
Neither of them moved for a moment. They just sat there, Ren’s hand in Akechi’s. Ren held his breath as Akechi’s thumb moved to brush the cut, pulling at the edge of the wound. It stung.
“Hand me the gauze, will you?” Akechi said, quietly.
Ren nodded. He leaned over to grab it out of the medical kit that lay open on the bathroom floor. Akechi didn’t let go.
“You should be more careful,” Akechi said, his grip on Ren’s hand tightening ever so slightly. “You seem to be taking your streaming career more seriously as of late. That means your hands are the tools of your trade, are they not?”
Something swooped in Ren's stomach. So Akechi had noticed the change in Ren's streaming. He felt— something. Annoyance, maybe.
“Isn’t your face yours?” Ren shot back.
Akechi shrugged. He let go of Ren’s hand to take the gauze and scissors from him. Immediately, Ren wanted it back.
“I don’t mind taking a break from public appearances for a few weeks,” Akechi admitted, cutting the gauze to the desired length.
“Gives you more time to work on your next book,” Ren guessed. At this, Akechi startled.
“How did you–?” His eyes narrowed. “I haven’t announced that.”
Ren shrugged.
“Just a hunch.”
As if Akechi would ever be content posing for sparkling water ads, so soon after he’d gotten a taste of being taken seriously. Ren had figured from the start that modeling was just paying the bills.
“...I see,” Akechi stared down the bathroom tile. Then he laughed— a bitter, sardonic chuckle.
“I haven’t even told my literary agent yet. No one else knows that I’m working on something new. Frankly, I don’t think anyone is expecting it from me. But I suppose, even after all these years, you’re still the one who knows me best.”
Ren didn’t know what to say to that. Without looking up, Akechi motioned for Ren’s hand again. He gave it.
Akechi started wrapping the gauze around Ren’s knuckles. Neither of them said anything for a moment.
“I suppose we should talk,” Akechi said. Ren tensed up slightly, then forced himself to relax. He hummed noncommittally.
Akechi finished wrapping Ren’s hand and tied it off. He let go. Ren flexed his hand, testing the tightness of the bandage. Akechi sighed, frustrated.
“Look, I—” he cut himself off. Took a breath. Ren said nothing. He kept staring at his bandaged hand, which Akechi had been holding just moments ago.
“...Let’s make a deal,” Akechi said. “For old times’ sake.”
Ren looked up at him. Akechi smiled slightly as he met his eyes. It was a sharp and crooked thing. It made Ren ache.
“We’ll take turns asking questions. And we’ll both do our best to answer,” Akechi continued.
Ren considered for a moment.
“I’ll start,” Ren said.
“I’m amenable to those terms,” Akechi responded.
Rather than confronting the elephant in the room, Ren decided to ease into things.
“Whose idea was this? And what happened to Risette?”
Risette never showed up, so clearly Akechi’s appearance had been planned by one (or several) of the Thieves. Probably not all of them, since there was no way Ryuji could have kept a secret like this from him. But at the very least, Ann had to have known since she had both let Akechi into the apartment and made herself scarce immediately afterwards. Morgana had soon followed, disappearing into Ann’s room almost immediately after the stream had cut off, with a disdainful, “We can clean this mess up tomorrow. You two should talk.”
“That’s more than one question,” Akechi huffed, “but I suppose I’ll answer anyway, as a show of good faith.”
Ah, Ren had missed his pedantry.
“Sakura-san contacted me yesterday,” Akechi said.
Well. That hadn’t been what Ren was expecting.
“I believe only she and Takamaki-san were actively involved in the plot, although from Morgana’s reaction, it wouldn't surprise me if he was given advance notice as well. As for Risette, she apparently thought the idea was…” Akechi pulled a face. “...Cute.”
Ren opened his mouth to ask another follow-up question, but Akechi cut him off.
“It’s my turn now, I believe.”
Ren braced himself for a question he wouldn’t want to answer. But it seemed Akechi didn’t want to get right into things either.
“...Why do you have a fully-stocked medical kit in your bathroom?” Akechi asked, unable to keep a frown off his face. That startled a small laugh out of Ren. “I was under the impression that your juvenile delinquent days were over. Are you getting into fights that frequently these days?”
“Just in case,” Ren said blithely.
“You could outfit a military unit with a kit of this size,” Akechi said, looking disdainfully at the enormous medical kit on the floor. Alright, maybe it was a little overkill, but it didn’t hurt to be prepared.
“Old habits die hard,” Ren shrugged.
Akechi softened a little at that.
“Right,” he muttered. “You always handled all the supplies for your little band of thieves.” As if he hadn’t once been one of that ‘little band of thieves’ — if not during Sae’s palace, than certainly during Maruki’s.
“How’d Futaba get your number?” Ren asked, desperate to escape that line of thinking. He immediately realized what a dumb question it was. Futaba could have anyone’s number if she wanted. But Akechi surprised him again.
“My agent gave it to her months ago. I reached out to her before the publication of The Crow Falls .”
The surprise must have shown on Ren’s face.
“She didn’t tell you, I take it,” Akechi said.
“No,” Ren croaked.
“Alright then. Why did you hit me?” Akechi asked, clearly trying to change the subject. He probably didn’t want to get into what he and Futaba had talked about, if they had talked at all.
It worked. Ren felt the hurt and anger from five years of being ignored surge in him again.
“Why did you show up?” he challenged back.
“You answer my questions and I’ll answer yours. You agreed,” Akechi said pointedly.
“Fine. I was angry. Why did you agree to come?” Ren repeated.
“Why do you think?” Akechi let out another one of those bitter little laughs. Now who wasn’t answering questions? Hypocrite. Ren felt his heart rate increase, the blood rushing in his veins.
“Just to rub it in my face?” he spat. “To humiliate me?”
“What? No, I—” Akechi looked genuinely shocked. Like he really hadn’t considered Ren might be feeling this way.
“If anything, it was more humiliating for me, wasn’t it? I was the one caught by a—” Akechi grimaced, “—a social media dating rumor.”
That stopped Ren in his tracks. He thought about it for a moment. Honestly… he kind of agreed. Akechi had fallen for a Flitter conspiracy theory. Ren felt his anger subside slightly as the pieces began to click together. That’s why Akechi had come in so cockily; it was a defense mechanism. He was embarrassed.
Akechi coughed and Ren turned his attention back to the man in front of him. Akechi’s cheeks had a slight pink tint to it.
“To answer your question, I agreed to come on to your charity stream as a… a gesture, I suppose,” Akechi said, not making eye contact. A gesture of what, he didn’t elaborate on. But Ren could guess.
Ren took a moment to collect his thoughts, letting Akechi squirm a bit.
“Okay,” Ren said eventually.
“Okay?” Akechi spluttered. “That’s all you have to say?!”
“I can’t believe you thought I was dating Ann,” Ren said, choosing to ignore Akechi’s indignation.
“It– it seemed like a credible theory at the time!” Akechi insisted. Ren snorted at that. He had never heard Akechi stutter this much before today. He took a little bit of sadistic pleasure in it.
“I’m obsessed with you,” Ren informed him, matter-of-factly. This shouldn’t have been new information, but it was kind of fun to watch Akechi go red at hearing it directly from Ren.
“I can see that,” Akechi huffed. And— ah, there it was. The hurt bubbled up in Ren’s throat again again.
“Then why the fuck didn’t you call me?” he said, unable to keep the vitriol out of his voice. He barely remembered to keep his volume down, his voice echoing slightly off the bathroom tiles.
“Sakura-san informed me that you’d known about my whereabouts the entire time,” Akechi fired back. “Why didn’t you reach out to me?”
“That’s different. You know it’s different.” Ren’s voice shook slightly.
“I’m not sure I do, actually. Care to elaborate?”
“Fuck you,” he snapped.
And then there was silence again. Neither of them wanted to speak. Neither of them wanted to leave.
Akechi spoke up again.
“For the first couple of years, I was too humiliated. I didn’t expect to live, and when I did… I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was a mess. I didn’t want you to see me like that. If we ever met again, I wanted it to be as equals. And then…” he trailed off.
“You started watching me stream.”
Akechi pursed his lips but didn't say anything. That was fine. Ren had waited this long. He could wait a little longer.
“...Fine, yes, I have watched your streams on occasion. They helped when I…” Akechi grit his teeth, “I missed you.”
You didn’t have to miss me, Ren wanted to say, but he figured he'd provoked Akechi enough (for now). Akechi seemed to hear it anyway. He took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly.
“...Are you box breathing?” Ren asked.
“Shut up.”
Ren obeyed. Akechi kept breathing.
Akechi let out a final exhale.
“I am aware that social media is not an accurate reflection of one’s life. More aware than most people, I would wager. But watching you stream, I received the impression that you were… happy. Everything had worked out for you. I knew you felt something for me at one point. But that was in the past. Speaking from personal experience, the things you want at seventeen aren’t always the things you want as an adult. I didn’t want to encroach on whatever happy ending you had found by reopening old wounds.”
Ren sat for a moment to process Akechi’s words. It was kind of stupid but… wasn’t that what Ren had been doing too? Watching Akechi’s seemingly happy life from afar, not reaching out for fear that he wasn’t wanted anymore?
Ren exhaled.
“You’re an idiot.”
Akechi laughed.
“I said I had a crush on you. Publicly.”
“Yes, and then you immediately played it off as a joke.”
…Yeah, alright. That was true.
“I’m still really mad at you,” Ren informed him.
“I am well aware,” Akechi grumbled.
Ren took Akechi’s hand.
“Stay the night?” he asked. “We can talk more tomorrow.”
“...Okay.”
TATI @titania33
it’s been a full week and they haven’t said anything im gonna lose it
Mana @ganesheher
@jokeren2 @PhanMod when are new subs going to get access to the joker server?
M. Yuuki @PhanMod
Sorry, but we’ve temporarily locked down the server until things calm down. It’ll be open again soon!
hiroko 🎡@fortunasfavour
joker and akechi’s socials have been down for 168 hours now…. come back……
Alice 👻🐰 @alicenotinwonderland
i miss joker
aiko 💃 @goroswife
I can’t believe so many Akechi’s Angels/Gorls are siding with the toxic-streamer-that-shall-not-be-named shippers after the live on-camera ASSAULT we witnessed. This is clearly an abusive situation and we should be taking it seriously!
mayumi 🫶🏳️🌈 @gorldick
who is “we”. if akechi has a fight kink i support him
⭐ hoshiko ⭐ @akechica
I hate to break this to you but he seemed into it
michael @goker
did you miss the part like 5 seconds later where they were making out
joker ACTUALLY said rpf is fine @arii_adne
[Quote fleet of @gorowife’s fleet]
i know this is gonna sound hypocritical coming from me but it’s wild how much people will speculate about people they don’t know anything about
im da joker baby @jokeren2
ikr
joker ACTUALLY said rpf is fine @arii_adne
hey wait a second
Reiko 🌸 @principalily_art
AHFHSHEHDHD SJDHD HELLO?????????
ami plays games❣️ @amenouzume_
THIS is how you announce you're back????
im da joker baby @jokeren2
streaming overcooked 2 at 5pm today :)
“Hey,” Ren said, sneaking up behind Akechi and wrapping his arms around him. Akechi flinched a bit, then relaxed into him. Adjusting to frequent physical touch was a steep learning curve, but Akechi had stubbornly refused when Ren offered to back off a little.
Ren hooked his chin over Akechi’s shoulder and looked down at Akechi’s phone.
“So do you only follow fans of us, @feather_karasu?”
“...I like to know what people are saying,” Akechi muttered. Ren smiled. He knew Akechi didn’t have a healthy relationship with social media.
“Seems like a lot of people missed us,” Ren said with a little smirk. “Are you ready for the stream?”
“Hey chat. Today my boyfriend and I are gonna be streaming Overcooked 2. Just warning you guys in advance, he might get frustrated and start trying to kill me or something.”
“I think I can handle a simple video game,” Akechi snorted.
“Sure, honey.”
alicenotinwonderland: HONEY?????
forneuss: so are yall official
goker: ummm BOYFIREND???
jackfrostiie: lololol
inugamer: are you seriously not gonna acknowledge the last stream LMAO
fortunasfavour: I can’t believe we got to watch you guys get together live….
“Actually, we’ve been together for over five years. Technically,” Ren said, just to annoy Akechi. His boyfriend. Hah. Nice.
“That is not in any way true.”
“We didn’t really break up the first time.”
“I think ghosting you for five years counts as ‘breaking up.’”
“Oh, so you admit we were together?”
“Shut up. Let’s play the stupid game.”