6 Works in Granger's Unhinged Writing Department
Listing Works
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Summary
Draco Malfoy was well on his way to resurrecting his family’s name. He’d embraced the idea of settling down with his pureblood heiress and breeding her like their ancestors intended, letting his cock wander on the side.
Unfortunately, his wayward libido kept leading him back to the same exact place.
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Crime Boss Draco Malfoy engages in a decades-spanning affair with Minister for Magic Hermione Granger. Chaos ensues.
Please Note: This fic does not have a posting schedule. Each chapter is a vignette based on a different song, and the only through-line you really need to know about is that they be cheatin'. They're both toxic, but in like a fun way.
This fic in no way condones the use of the endearment “pookie”. I know it’s awful. Hermione knows. Draco knows. And if you also know, then you’re in on their joke.
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When Arthur finds out he's getting a divorce, and Hermione finds out she needs a new place to stay in the same week they come to a mutually beneficial agreement. But when Arthur starts having inappropriate thoughts about his new tenant, he begins to worry about their new arrangement. He feels so guilty wanting her the way he does, but Molly hadn't touched him in years, and maybe Hermione would enjoy being touched too? What happens when they decide to cross the line?
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Now Complete! -
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After Hermione suffers an embarrassing public break up and her reputation needs resurrecting, Malfoy chaperones her to a fancy Ministry ball. Instead of simply attending as arm candy, he takes it upon himself to get the witch to loosen up.
OR: Hermione and Draco recreate the famous Jessica Chastain and Oscar Isaac red carpet moment.
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“If you’re going to be a prick, then you’ll get no sympathy from me.”
“Well, good thing I don’t want your sympathy in any form as that.” He tilts his head, eyes alight dangerously. “Much rather have you bent over, clutching a wooden beam as previously mentioned—but wherever would we find one—”
He cuts himself off, lets his gaze flick pointedly over her shoulder, and smirks.
“Granger, you’ll never believe our luck.”
Or: Draco follows Hermione after the Quidditch game so they can "discuss the kiss" that happened between her and Ron.
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After a nasty break up Hermione feels ready to be a little more adventurous with her love life. But when she flirts with Draco Malfoy at a party and starts developing feelings for Neville Longbottom in the same week, she worries she might have gotten a little in over her head. Soon both men are vying for her attention and their rivalry leaves Hermione breathless. What's a girl to do?
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Summary
It’s been five years since the Battle of Hogwarts, and Draco is living in self-imposed exile on the Yorkshire Coast. His bigoted past is far behind him, his future is bright, and no one can bring him down. No one, that is, except for Hermione Granger.
Why Granger, how nice to see you. What am I doing here, you ask? Ah, well, you see, I ran away like the coward I am, and I’ve been hiding on a secret estate cleaning up bird shit for the last three years. What the fuck are you doing here?
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Or, how Draco Malfoy accidentally turned his home into a bird sanctuary, learned a bit of veterinary medicine, befriended a phoenix, and failed to keep Hermione Granger’s swotty nose out of his business.