Chapter Text
Tobirama's life as a rightful Senju Clan member was ended with the moment he opened his eyes for the first time. Well, perhaps it wasn't the first time, but it was the first time he was viewed closely by his other parent - soft pale eyelids lifted and crimson red blazed - as the one the baby was supposed to call a father stared down at him.
The one that he would call father, but never actually mean it.
Butsuma's eyes widen looking into the red as fresh blood splattered on snow orbs, they were also blank, pupilless and narrow. They were nothing like big, round and wide, warm, dark brown ones that most Senju clan members had possessed.
"What is this?" he spoke with anger and venom dripping like waves from his voice. He already knew the answer though, some could search for betrayal in the voice. "You weren't faithful... where is this thing's father?" He spat out like venom.
"Butsuma-..." The woman was startled by Butsuma's aggressiveness, he basically came into the room and snatched the little one from her arms. All of the Ninja Clans were very superstitious, and some predictions of diviners come true (always the ones that were very much likely, so with that in mind, Suiko still hadn't believed in forseers),the superstitious people were as funny, as annoying. Yet still, out of boredom, sometimes she reached out for an almanac (it's an annual calendar containing important dates and statistical information such as astronomical data and tide tables) and it said that a woman of her zodiac sign should avoid giving birth to a baby in winter this year. She ignored it and now she felt a bit thrown-off by the coincidence.
"Shut up woman! Don't speak unless it's answer to my question!" Butsuma said his gaze cold as he glared at the woman and carelessly let the child slid out of his arms, his wife immediately lunged and caught the baby then disappeared briefly from sight and stood in the corner of the room caressing the baby's head lightly as it giggled taking the whole situation wrong, but who could blame a baby?
Woman with light brown hair stroked Tobirama's cheek gently before letting herself glance at Butsuma with rage and hatred. There was also a tinge of sick satisfaction, she liked the angered and in meantime helpless look in the Clan Head's eyes. He's a fool, ordering her to answer and then silencing her. Just like all the men in this clan- no, like all the people, the women raised within this mindset looked for anyone they could lash out at this being servants, slaves, prisoners or their own children.
Butsuma's wife used to be a shinobi (quite a decent one too), but her career was done as she was forced to unloving marriage with this man.
She hated the way he treated her sons... like his own possession (not that she was spared that kind of treatment, but she was a woman and his wife and this clan was irritatingly "traditional", but she had a better name for it). She wished a lot of times to be born differently, with a different family, at different times, with different surroundings... or at least that her children would.
She hated to look at the boys and see how much they look up to their father, the horrendous monster he is.
One.
One peace treaty would show these people that there is something an alternative to the endless wars and deaths. Under that degree, the lady of the Senju was born into a vaguely distinct clan, with different ideas, in a family, that actually valued the kin. Yet, as soon as crisis struck and growing the growing threat, they forced her to bow down and marry the man for politics. She was asked to be a good girl.
No, she won't be a good girl anymore. She's not going to be like all other mothers that take pride in giving birth to sons that will become warriors and killing machines.
The one peace treaty that would bond them all together for them to achieve common goal to have a better life - she passed on her beliefs to Hashirama, who was a male and unlike her - underestimated housewife - he could... he would make a difference. He was a bright cheerful boy. Itama and Kawarama had the ideas planted into their small minds as well, but they had to endure the war to grow up to understand fully what she means.
And there, a few months ago, she met him. A fucking man who made her weak without touching her at all. Somebody she finally, really, truly loved. That love was gentle and true, so... pure. Curse the damn wedlock. It was so much different, and it was so pleasant. So natural.
But she had to end it. She let go for her sake, and for his sake.
Tobirama, the youngest of her children was barely a few weeks old and there was the end to all his happiness in life. All solitude he could obtain with other members of Senju clan is unachievable. All of what he could have was done. Just because he inherited those pretty red eyes. He's not in equal social position. He won't be wanted by anyone. He won't be treated the same as rest of the kids. No, he'll be underestimated, mistreated and victim to viciousness and abuse.
It's going to be unfair.
He will be a Bastard son.
She did not want to bring this upon any of her children - no mother would want that - but it's all too late for that... he's already born. Her heart was wrenching as she held the baby close to her, reminding all the years she trained and she was free to give her strength and argue for the sake of her son's life. She slowly stood straight, holding her boy, she turned to face fully Butsuma.
He's been discovered as Bastard Child. His life would end up that on that path either way - he'd discover his oddness or someone else would notice it.
Years passed and Tobirama noticed that he's obviously "the worse kind". He's not stupid or talentless, very much the opposite. However, nobody applauded him when he achieved what others couldn't. Things he did were beyond his brothers' comprehension and mother wasn't the one he would dare to bother. She's always tired.
Another unfair thing was that his three brothers had more freedom than he could ever think of. They were allowed to play with whoever they wanted as long as they weren't slaves or servants in middle of their work. They were allowed to stay outside for really long periods of time- hell, they were allowed to go outside. From the earliest days he recalls the weird Spartan type of life contrasting with the rich room Kawarama and Itama shared and neatly done Hashirama's room, full of useful scrolls, fake swords and armor for training.
This difference didn't lay in the material meaning alone, but also in heart.
His heart has been beating a different rhythm than all the rest.
The white-haired naturally was serious and introvert, unlike his big-mouthed, extroverted, sensitive brothers. Everyone seemed to be like that. Open and loud. No wonder his quiet mother would rather stay home and cuddle with him. He prefers that too. His thought pattern laid out otherwise. He always thought of himself rather than others, he was always concerned about his safety and comfort which was almost all the time downgraded to something unimportant and abhorrent.
Going to physical appearance, he'd be also thinner than most boys (he was a bit famished too though). His hair was wild and unkempt no matter the attemps. And he had those big blood eyes that scared off the occasional kids that he happened to meet rarely.
The biggest difference that separated him from his brothers was that he always looked up to his mother.
His eyes were always set on that woman. She was the only one who ever smiled at him unconditionally. He wanted to become like his mother. Be caring and loving like her, always ready to give a huge reassuring smile and tell him she's here to listen and soothe him. Tobirama loved his mother the most among all living beings. He loved how she could shift from being cold to soft in a hearbeat. No matter how - a hug, a caress, whatever - her touch was the most tender and affectionate.
One day though, she was taken away from him.
Brutally and quickly.
Since then, he wouldn't dare look in anybody's eyes, until the first breaking point. He'd rather look away than hold a glare battle.
He stood out, very, and that's why the other kids from the clan picked on him as he began peeking his head outdoors.
There was no mother at home, he had to find other people to pass time with aside to his brothers. Tobirama was capable of doing his revenge on the bullies, but he didn't. Whenever his fist has got written a name on itself of his bully he'd wipe it off thinking "mom wouldn't do that" (that was a lie, his mom would send him out to actually beat those bullies up, she was vicious) and he gives them harsh words instead. His sharp cunning tongue usually sends them weeping as in most of the Senju children start off as big crybabies.
Sticks and stones, as they say, may break my bones. But words cut deeper than a sword.
He recalls reading a book where the aggressive behavior was explained and ever since he always kept it in mind when he wanted to scratch their smiles off their faces with his nails.
If he did decide to fight them, he'd surely win, but would be rewarded with a unpleasant status that could end up with him in agony. There was a social gap between him and the rest of the children. He was a part of the royal family, but a class lower still, because of "Bastard Child" status.
An Unwanted.
Some kids called him "Trash Child".
If he wasn't born into the Clanhead's family he'd been used as a slave, if the fate decided to be milder, maybe a servant. Yet, since he was born into the Clanhead's family, he is not much of fit for a servant. Currently, he's shaped to be more of a bodyguard to the clan's heirs.
Traditions saved him.
Tobirama had eyes that resembled the ones of an Uchiha which gave out a lot of bad vibes around him, which eventually led into learning a different strategy for scaring away his bullies. He had a glare that would make the ice queen jealous. It worked very well (the kids didn't fight him anymore, he ignored them enduring the pain of rarely so ever thrown things at him, he put minimum effort in something that's supposed to end soon. Red reminded all Senjus of the fearful caleidoscope-like eye - the Sharingan, it was something that they all feared - adults and kids alike, so Tobirama used it to his advantage).
Butsuma always puts extra pressure on him. The Clan's Head would beat him - or, as he would call it - do a sparring match with his (it always sends a chill down Tobirama's spine when he remembers all the times Butsuma, with this disgusted and sarcastic tone, called him his…) "son". His oblivious brothers due to their carefree (compared to what white-haired boy faced day-to-day) situation thought that Tobirama was father's favorite (he literally facepalmed hearing this from his brothers the first time).
Sure, favorite children like to complain about the intense expectations the parents set, but that's not it. He's not treated unfairly because of his possibilities, Butsuma just hates his guts, for whatever reason. Tobirama found himself never caring for the reason he was treated the way he was. He did something that upsetted the man and the man was etitled to hurt him and not face any punishment, end of the story.
The red-eyed boy viewed himself as different from others, with what he called "open eyes", everyone else has their eyes squinted at the reality, or completely closed. Tobirama knew that adults want him dead - and that sooner or later - was going to happen anyway, what change does it make for them? None, for him? Well, it's his life, so it does. He tries his best to not be useless and be kept around. He wants to live, even if everything so disgusting, illogical and hurtful. Normal person would have given up, honestly.
Thanks to his blind brothers though, he had the courage to move on. He had Hashirama encouraging him to push pass any new and ridiculous objective set in his path, he had Itama and Kawarama who would help him heal after harsher beatings and fights.
He was very grateful.
Tobirama was way after the age that an average Shinobi has had its first battle experience.
He should've been fighting already on battlefields for three whole years however Butsuma would make him stay.
Stay and do chores.
Tobirama didn't mind them actually, he was used to doing the job that usually was assigned to women since his mother passing and Senju wasn't a clan that liked keeping servants for too long in the house, they were a bit paranoid on this subject, the servants were called only for the too tiring work.
He did the work splendidly, thus gaining recognition for his responsible behavior and furthermore, favor. Some distant relatives would ask him to help babysitting, cleaning and sent away the servants when he agreed, they would thank him and did small favors for him in return, for example, not complain about his snow-white, outstanding in the Senju clan, hair. Another reward was that by the early teenage years, at least half of the hate turned towards him was almost gone, how can you hate a simple boy wanting to live and being polite about it?
They would warm up to him with time, but he was already grown out of being warm towards people that hurt him at least once - he grew out of forgiveness and looking for attention. He knew he wouldn't be able to rely on any of them. Everybody shook in fear before his father.
Thanks to what others would call humiliating, he found himself figuring out what makes him relaxed and even if it wasn't typical for boys, he enjoyed those things. He enjoyed reading, babysitting, cleaning, cooking, knitting, basically anything that worn him out and made him sleep peacefully afterwards, without any dreams.
After all the chores that he was assigned to do, he went home and made a dinner. Even though he was tired and barely walking (with years he's grown used to the exhaustion), he quickly ate alone and escaped outside to train.
White-haired tried to run away few times, but soon he realized... he had nowhere to go. Just as he stood a few feet away from their reach. Albino's only home will be there where the abusive father treats him like shit. Each clan will be happy to slay him. He won't fit anywhere. With his disgusting white hair and red eyes?
No, only Senju who beat him until he's unconscious on all occasions was his salvation - well, that is what they made him think at least.
One day during "spar match" he was able to gather the courage to fight back and managed to harm Senju leader. It was a minor injury compared to what he suffered throughout all the years, still... Tobirama's never been through worse pain after that. When he recovered fully (after four months plus another one full of limping), Butsuma called him for a talk.
Then he's been informed that he'll go to get his first battle experience.
Kawarama, Hashirama, and Itama were so excited when Tobirama informed them. They were making up the most glorious and surreal scenarios - the three would make up all sorts of ridiculous names for themselves to call like "Nature Gang" because of Tobirama resembling him a white rabbit, Hashirama's ability to use a mix of two different chakra natures as one and the Itama and Kawarama having summons (slugs for Itama and frogs for Kawarama) the other was "Brown Gang" but it was almost dismissed as soon as Itama could run from Kawarama as the other caught him on his attempt to prank him (they still have a prank war and the Senju clan shakes and Tobirama despairs as he is the one to clean up the mess and apologize every mother for what his brothers did).
Tobirama shook his head with disapproval at all of those antics, though his brothers, in the end, made him join in that silly quarrel… somehow. He loved his dumb brothers.
(His idea for the team name was just a plain "Senju Brothers", he never got much chance to exhibit his "half-Senjuness". Though he wasn't even sure if he actually is half-Senju as in his mother might have been from totally different clan than Senju, as she married she lost all connections to her family and forced to become a housewife... yes she's definitely not from Senju clan; and since a bastard child he's not Senju at all... huh, why did it took so long for him to realize that?)
As soon as night fallen the four brothers, excited for what tomorrow can bring, went quickly to sleep.
But Tobirama couldn't comply. His brothers decided that they'll all sleep in Hashirama's room. As soon as the lights went out, all of them brought their mattresses, pillows, and blankets into the oldest Senju's room. Despite their excitement, they went to sleep relatively quickly.
Tobirama stared at his brothers sleeping figures. Kawarama and Itama were sleeping facing each other (they always slept directed to one another, even if they were in different rooms, Hashirama laughs that it is because they are having minds-connection thing, ah, yes, "telepathy"; but Tobirama dismisses that ridiculousness as he believes that his theory is more possible - Kawarama and Itama are just having great predispositions to become sensors and they're just so close to each other as twins that they unconsciously sense each other) and Hashirama was sprawled on the mattress, he snored and drooled, but they were all used to it. White-haired stared at his family and smiled faintly, but soon it was gone too as he remembered mournfully the question he asked his cousin "what was the war like?" - the scenarios of the bloody battle that Tōka described to him were visiting his nightmares sometimes.
Tōka Senju was yet another exception among Senju that never bullied him - sure she got violent with him for sparring and quarrels, but only because she was short-tempered, she didn't hold ill-will for him.
She was also the one to teach Tobirama to be proud of who he is and stand up to himself, but that was after the awful incident that was about to come. For the time being, Tobirama could still be considered a pushover by people inside the clan and his cousin tried to fix that with threatening to beat him up whenever he would speak lowly of himself or would say "it's nothing" when he was clearly in pain and on verge of tears. Tōka was his only relative that knew about him being the bastard child and didn't care about it (only Hashirama didn't know by now; Tobirama told Kawarama and Itama but had no courage or no heart to tell Hashirama),
(And Tōka being such a fiery young woman was probably because she's been so closely related to Uzumaki clan - that one clan that never bowed down to anyone, of course, figuratively. They were extremly polite most of the time, either way, she 3/4 an Uzumaki, the powerful and odd clan sent her a written invitation to their lands after her father died, but a four little Senju boys cried her stay in the clan.)
(Tobirama swore that was the very last time he's crying like this.)
Senju Tōka was a kind of person that would show middle fingers to anybody, anytime, under the condition of making her upset. She had to go through a lot of struggles to be who she is, firstly she was a female and everybody in early days tried to make her stop being a "boyish" and prepare her to a role of a housewife, however, Tōka's father didn't have any other children to pass on his knowledge and techniques. And, he refused to raise or teach random kids, which was proposed to him - besides, teaching daughter to wield naginata was pretty popular among noble families, because, who can protect you better than the ever-faithful and loving daughter? And so the girl was taught abilities of illusion and how to wield the weapon.
Her father passed away, but the girl was more tempted to continue training than stop. She felt more like herself that way - and she fought her way out; towards freedom that was planned on being taken away. No elder would even try to bring her down to a position of a regular woman, because the last one that wanted to make a political marriage - against Tōka's will and without her knowledge about any of this at all - ended up with his body cut into two pieces by an inch thick blade.
Surely, this was frowned upon, but she struck fear into the hearts of the elders and ensured her position as princess of the clan, but not quite since she partaken in war as well. The royal families rarely did so. She ended up inspiring few young girls and before Tobirama knew it, he saw girls rebelling against their brothers, uncles and fathers and when going to get things arranged, he passed by a lot of them arguing about what a woman can and cannot.
Back on Tōka, who started learning wielding group of Yari, especially her bloody naginata, in young age and by the end puberty she was known of mastering the art of it. She named her favorite weapon in the honor of her father's memory - "Jiyū" which means "freedom", that being, because, she didn't have in regard if it was the clansmen that angered her or an enemy - they stood away from her and she would fight for what's right. And what was right for her, was to not be bounded down to a role because of not having a penis.
Demon to Senju she was, but an Angel to Tobirama. She was eight years older than the boy, and when he was brought into the world she was busy training, so he suffered the first years alone before she turned attention towards him. The death of Suiko - her favorite aunt - shattered her as much as her father's did. She lost herself in training before she realized that she had little cousins who lost a mother and turned towards them to offer comfort. Out of her little cousins, Tobirama was the only one who ran away from contact with her, she figured that he was being moody, but the abuse marks and knowledge of his origin changed her mind relatively quickly.
He was already used to abuse and wouldn't fight back against it even if he felt that it'd be right.
She was fifteen and he was seven when they finally met face-to-face - she was in her usual blood red attire, and he was in oversized blue clothes that didn't fit into the rest, just like his thin frame, white hair... what didn't stand out this much were his eyes (drop the color, all Uzumaki were having various colors of their eyes) they were filled with realization of that he's trash.
She took it as a goal to make him change.
Now she was an adult and still very disappointed in seeming lack of progress.
And a new things o add on his list of traumas was incoming: his first experience on the battlefield. She didn't choose her words carefully when she described to him the massacre that is war.
"You can never be ready for a battle fully. Screams of agony from people you know and don't know ring in your ears for weeks- hell! Months. Years. You can go mad by just staring at the blood on your hands. Madness and irrational thinking - this is what makes a life of a Shinobi so short, it's not the body that will want to retire, but the mind. When you look at a person you've known whole your life in the pool of their own blood and know that they will never get up... it's the worst thing to witness. and also the time of the first kill, the eyes get clouded and the body goes limp. And you realize, that person... they were breathing a few minutes ago. They were happy an hour ago, or maybe they were sad, or maybe they were with their family? Maybe they had an argument? Maybe they promised something? Maybe they have a lover or a child waiting for them at home? A battle isn't a thing you can be ready for."
Tobirama clutched his bedsheets frowning thinking about Tōka's words. He has imagined seeing the dead bodies of his loved ones before, but never on the battlefield. He remembers the first funerals he's been through. As a son of the Clan Head, he had privilege to attend them as a honorable guest and Butsuma forced him to come and view the burial. The lifeless bodies, sometimes (often) they were wrapped white that was achingly white because bodies were too massacred to be shown. The faces, the paleness... it all was a traumatic thing to witness from so close.
Butsuma's favorite way to torture him.
He closed his eyes and he saw the red sky, setting red sun, he heard the battle roars and pained yells, he could see the blood splattering, the tears rolling on cheeks and the sweat rolling down the tired figures.
Next day he hoped to not be so bad.
It wasn't going to be.
Because it was the worst.
When the morning came, they all rose earlier than usual and made a quick work of gathering all their belongings and went to eat breakfast. Despite the last night's excitement, his brothers expressed before, they were very tense and silent. They hadn't eat much which Tobirama pointed out as he watched them with a supposedly indifferent face, he was very worried. With a theatrical sigh, he resolved the tension.
"Just stay behind me." That riled Kawarama and Hashirama, the two exploded with 'you won't need to' and 'we'll see about that' plus 'we were at more missions than you' (those missions never did require them going into a battlefield, only fetching letters, checking on the civilians and helping them fetch their arrangements, babysitting some rich man's children) and Tobirama stuffed rice into his mouth forcing a smug expression on his face. What he felt isn't important.
Hashirama joined in trying to stop them from fighting by nearly sobbing, the whole quarrel stopped as Butsuma entered the room to both silence them and inform them that the time for eating is finished. Tobirama, automatically, moved to stand up and clean after his brothers and himself when Butsuma told him to leave it and follow him.
A cold hand wrapped around his heart and squeezed and other young Senjus present in the dining room noticed this. Itama jumped to his feet blurting out the question Tobirama asked himself quietly in back of his mind.
"Father? Have you changed your mind?" Itama asked with his hands locked together on his chest.
"Silence." A strict utterance of these words makes the boy recall his position in the family and clan, much below his father. Too far for Itama to speak to Clan Head like that. "Itama, Kawarama, clean up after the meal." Butsuma motions his hand dismissevly at the twins and then calls out to the oldest son. "Hashirama, you're coming too."
Then he left the room with Tobirama and Hashirama following him.
Tobirama, for the first time in his life, got to wield real weapon and armor. They were a bit lighter than what he used to train with. Hashirama was sent to assist him in dressing the armor and clipping the katana's belt around the thin waist. It also soothed Tobirama, the presence of Hashirama, someone who hadn't known yet of Butsuma's doings and wasn't meant to know. Hashirama was kind-hearted fool who would do anything for his brothers, and it's best for Butsuma, for him to not be aware of Tobirama's situation.
Especially, when he has such powerful Mokuton he needs to learn to control more precisely in assets.
Tobirama is aware of how to put on weapon and armor on himself so on the bigger part, Hashirama is talking to his brother to reassure him that it won't be that bad and that it is something that one can get used to, as horrible as it is. The white-haired Senju isn't very comfortable with all the words that are said by someone as goofy and peaceful on daily basis as Hashirama. He realizes that his older brother's suffering a lot too.
He finishes up dressing dismissing the thoughts by putting a practical decoration on his face. Instead of helmet or headband, he got a faceplate to keep hair out of his face and partly protect his head. The faceplate was had a clear marking of Senju Clan. From now on everybody who will see him, will see what kind of clan is in possession of him. They won't see a child, but a warrior. Like rest of the equipment, it's light to not slow him down… but it feels so heavy. He's never been allowed to wear anything with the emblem of his clan before. Years ago, it'd be a reason to be so proud.
He still stood out, there were plenty of Senjus with a light coloring of hair, but he was purely white. Pure white skin and hair, scary red eyes and also his armor. The most common kind of armors' coloring was red, black and brown, and there he was, dressed in blue.
Blue was not a usual color...
Aside from the sword that's lighter than what he trained with somehow feeling heavy as thousands of rocks, he got a small bag filled with kunai knives snf explosive tags that lately became more popular and been recently imported from Uzushio lands.
Tobirama had a bitter thought while staring down at himself in a water's reflection as they went forward to the arranged battefield.`He thought, that no matter what situation, they'll always find a way to make him stand out from the rest.
But it's not like he can do anything about it.
Tobirama walked next to his brothers towards the battlefield, just like dozens of Senju did too. His eyes looked right and left. He felt the dread build up and crawl up his spine as the most of the older ones were holding a tired and resigned look. But there was something that drove them onward, what was it? Fear? Hate? Want of vengeance? Because love and want of glory it wasn't. Only the younglings held that look and smirk on their faces, the older ones didn't.
'When did that war began?' He wondered. Some adults silencing the children and teenagers who got carried away in their conversations and managed to joke.
It was going to be one of the worst fights Senju has suffered not (fully) out of Uchiha clan's hands.
Tobirama was whole shaken, but he closed it all inside and sealed away.
They came out from the forest into clearing.
One moment he was looking at a group of people who like them, came in a messy group. They reached out for the weapons and waited a small moment slowly drawing the weapons out before rushing into the direct clash. The braver ones of children and veteran adults has rushed forward to meet them. In another moment, as if in slow motion, a huge of kunai knives has came from very close to where the majority of Senju stayed unmoved at killing almost everyone who rushed forward.
The enemy - Hagoromo clan - set a trap by incuding Uchihas in the fight to surprise the ones who abandoned the group too early. Tobirama swore he saw that red-white fan on the purple coats. He turns to his brothers wih one gaze commanding them to stay close.
Before he could realize it, he deflected one, two, three, and more knives than he could count at the speed they were coming at him. Then, involuntarily, a counter attack came from him and he held a weapon drenched in blood. His heartbeat went slow as he saw the blood trickle down the blade to stain the oversized sleeves of his blouse when he pulled out the katana. Coming back to the right senses, he looked around to search for his brothers - when did they got out of his reach?
He hated losing control of the situation.
He found Itama and Hashirama in the back of the group, they retreated, they were - aside from the visible shock which is understable, this wasn't meant to happen, - alright, but where was...?
In the next moment, he realized that he feels a huge pain in the chest as he hears shriek that is so familiar but sounds nothing near that it would be sounding on daily basis. Fear surged through that scream rather than joy and laughter. Looking to the right, again, he saw like in slow motion, the lost sibling fall to the ground. Blood drained from his face making him paler than usual.
Kawarama then scrambled up to his feet and split up from the group and what followed followed, was more than one person.
Tobirama without thinking he followed after. He split up against all the logic and tactic in his head.
Whenever he recalls this moment in future his first thought will be - "It all happened so fast" - then his head will remember the dizziness and the knot he had in his stomach when he saw Kawarama covered in blood, not his... not yet his. The terrified dark eyes threatening to stab more of the opponents but clearly knowing he's going to die if nobody helps him.
Tobirama attacked an adult from the behind when he least expected it. Quickly. The red-eyed boy finished him off not caring for anything but the one he saved from dying - for a moment Kawarama would live longer. Tobirama nearly dropped katana and ran up to Kawarama's side if he hadn't known better, if he wasn't taught better. They were still overrun, even if it was two of them. But with each other, they were at least a bit reassured.
They wanted to live longer and so they fought on.
But they were just children against adults, it was impossible for them to win.
When he heard that shriek that haunted him for months, he dropped the whatever blood-drenched weapon he clutched onto and took a look at Kawarama.
All the insticts died as he felt a cold squeeze on his heart seeing a rather large gash beginning above the collarbone and ending and deepening at Kawarama's navel quickly filling up with blood turning the clothes red. When did Kawarama lose his armor even? Tobirama had no hope of recovering those bits of fight. He hurried over to falling brother and grabbed his body. He dug his pale fingers into brother's flesh. Frightened, he and dragged him up close. White-haired Senju cleaned face that was becoming paler with each second passing from the dirt and blood.
Tears ran down his cheeks and he screamed out to his brother to:
"Don't fall asleep." His pale hand tilted Kawarama's head to look him in the eyes. Kawarama's face was whiter than Tobirama's at this point. His voice kept rising pitch and choking up more on words through tears. With pain, he remembered that Kawarama would always say that his oddness makes him wonderfully amazing - he'd scoff at that and roll eyes, but those words... they made him strong at his weakest. "Don't die on me." His liquid sadness flew down his cheeks and dropped on the body that was starting to feel heavier in his arms with each passing second. Heart wrenched as Kawarama's eyes went clouded and he twitched with agony... but it was all over soon, he couldn't feel anything anymore. He had only those few last, brief breathes. "Look in my eyes..." Tobirama whimpered quietly his hand clenching on his brother's clothing. His heart stopped pounding in his chest as slow as a languid cat. Suddenly it all began going back to a normal pace and without looking up he knew he's never been so close to dying. His sensory skills screamed out for him to be alerted. His will to live even though, severely damaged - told him to move on. He still had people to protect.
The Bastard Child was surrounded within his brother's corpse in arms.
His thoughts went loud and messy, it all was just a big disaster; big, great disarray.
I'm going to die...
More tears ran down his pale, thin face.
Though... If it means that Kawarama will stay with me...
Then he heard Kawarama say with his last breath:
"I love you, big brother..."
"Big brother"... it was a mockery actually.
Itama and Kawarama would call him a "big brother" because he acts - as they would call it - "motherly".
He pretended it annoyed him, but actually he had no problems with it. With those last words... he was gone. The body went limp in his arms. Eleven-year-old relaxed his muscles and brought the corpse closer and whispered softly caressing the little sibling's face with tenderness.
"I love you too Kawarama."
One of the men slid the blade closer to Tobirama's vital point. The click of armor played of the Senju's nerves as he held the corpse closer.
No, I don't want to die yet.
"This is the way the world of war is, kid." Without any emotion showed on the face, he raised katana to kill the boy with a storm of white as snow hair, however... He hesitated. His nerves tingled, years of experience told him to hold back.
"Just do it already." Tobirama spat out those words with anger behind his voice. But there were also unspoken ones 'I dare you.' ringed in dead silence and then the blade began falling.
Nobody could ever call Tobirama slow. He was the fastest person among his kins. He put Kawarama's body gently on the ground and turned around to face his... theirs enemies.
One if front of me... Five in the bushes... three nearby as a backup... Seems like everybody is already retreating positions hoping to make a quick work of us and go gather the payment from Hagoromo clan… their numbers are... were, too big for us... His mind raced as he then looked at the falling sword, I'm not going to avoid it. The blade dropped to sink into his flesh. Red eyes narrowed and the whole situation looked for young Senju like a slow-motioned film. He grabbed the sword and clutched it tight.
Blood trickled down his wrist, it dripped down from the blade. The pain was dulled by adrenaline and rush of power.
Tobirama was focused on chakra around him and his own. His own was getting more and more lively as his unused anger, regret, guilt, and sadness built up further.
All the cruelty was so unnecessary. It sickened Tobirama.
Chakra aura began to freely flow out of the boy as he clenched his jaw and used it to enhance his strength and throw off the man. He pushed the blade away and quickly armed himself with a kunai before the man got into the hang of the situation there was a weapon driven deep into his throat.
It was just like Tōka said indeed.
Feelings of confusion filled his senses with madness. The body fell down and he went down with it. The splatter of blood when he pulled the kunai knife out covered his hair, face, and clothes.
He needs to do what he did best - lie to himself. Dull everything shut down his emotions impact on his doings.
Aside from those two seconds, he didn't wait to strike again. Like a freed beast that was caged for a long time.
Tobirama began forming hand signs for the technique he created himself - he needs to work on it a lot because it takes too much time and he needs to get much faster. Next moment his opponents had to dodge massive water ball coming their way. He got out a kunai knives with explosive tags attached to them and threw them at his enemies. They were surprised, they let their guard down, they died.
Tobirama looked at his hands that he used to compare to snow because of the paleness, but now, they were drenched in blood. Something was telling him, that the blood will stay there.
He doesn't think it's his color.