Archive of Our Own ^beta

Techno had never been fond of change. It was like an instinct within him. To resist the slow crawl of time as the things around him morphed. Even if the change was generally for the better, it still irked him. Like crumbs under the bedsheet change was an unsatisfying itch, and there were only two points in Techno’s life he can remember embracing change with open arms. 

The first was with Phil, as most things were in Techno’s life. Things such as his first time riding a bike, his first time on holiday and his first genuine Christmas. It was always with Phil. 

In this first particular case however, it was his first day as family, and that was a massive change to Techno’s entire world view. After eight years in foster care at the budding age of ten he had been offered not house, but a home. And what a home it was.

At home Techno had a brother, Wilbur, who he adored so much he was not afraid to claim the other as his twin. He had a father, who would comb the knots gently out of his hair, encourage his hobbies with a beaming smile and rub circles on his back when he was stressed. He later gained another brother, Tommy, who filled his life with endless energy, and when that all became too much, he had his own room to retreat to with games to play and books to read. 

It was home. And it was the change he had so desperately needed he didn’t hesitate to embrace It when It finally came along. The second time he’d embraced change… well, that comes much later. 

The first years as family were absolute bliss. There was so much to those early years that Techno missed. Wilbur’s gentle smile on a rainy Thursday afternoon, Tommy’s soft breathing when he fell asleep on Techno’s lap, Phil calmly picking up shards of the plate Techno had accidentally smashed on the floor. Too many moments to comprehend, it would be like counting grains of sand on a beach.

So, for conveniences sake, if he could sum up his childhood in one memory it would be this one. 

It was only a few months after his youngest brother, Tommy, had officially been adopted. Spring break had just begun and Techno was awoken by a soft knock on his bedroom door at some random time in the morning. 

The sun had barley crested the gap between his curtains. The early morning air felt cool on his cheek when he lifted it from his pillow to check who was at the door. It was Phil. The older man walked over to kneel by the bed. His blue eyes softening as he reached a hand out towards Techno’s head. 

In his half awoken sleepy state, Techno leant in to the touch, feeling the man’s fingers run through the hair on his scalp. 

“Morning Techno,” Phil had said softly, his voice had that slight morning grumble in it, “Pack your things. We’re taking a surprise trip.”

Techno didn’t have time to comprehend that, or maybe he just didn’t feel like thinking so hard so early in the morning. Once Phil had left the room again, footsteps heading down the corridor and into his other brother’s room, Techno had hopped out of bed and packed himself a suitcase, just as Phil had requested. 

He’s packed a random number of clothes (as Phil hadn’t told him how long this trip would be), a copy of his favourite Greek myth collection, and the wooden sword he always kept tucked underneath his pillow. (A habit from childhood he never broke)

When he arrived downstairs Phil was loading up the trunk of their car. Wilbur stood sleepily next to him rubbing his eyes, his arms holding tightly onto the strap of his guitar case. He smiled when he saw Techno, turned around and picked up a waffle out of a brown paper bag behind him. 

“Breakfast.” He announced with a grin. 

Techno took the toasted waffle. It was warm against his palm.

“Where are we going?” He finally had the sense to ask.

“I don’t know. Dad won’t say.” Wilbur shrugged.

“Reckon he’s kidnapping us?” Techno mused, raising his eyebrow towards the older blonde man. 

Wilbur just smiled. 

“Oi, you’re my kids, I’m not kidnapping you,” Phil chuckled, “As for where we’re going, it’s an adventure.” 

Techno huffed, kicking the gravel on the driveway. 

“Well good thing I packed my sword.”

Phil closed the boot of the car and walked back over the front of the house. Wilbur and Techno watched as their father leaned in, cupping his hands next to his mouth and hollered up the stairs. 

“Tommy? You have five minutes to get in the car or we’re leaving without you!”

He heard Wilbur let out a snort of laughter as a desperate little pitter patter of feet could be heard from upstairs. 

“Wait! Wait! I’m coming you idiots!” Tommy shrieked. 

Techno stepped back as the seven year old came barrelling down the stairs and out of the front door, nearly colliding with Wilbur in the process. The small blonde looked quite amusing in that moment, clutching his cow plush Henry to his chest, his face red from rushing about, and Wilbur’s old backpack slung over his shoulders. It was far too big on a boy so small. 

“Aww Toms! Worried we were going to leave you behind?” Wilbur teased offering another waffle to his younger brother who snatched it out of his hands instantly. 

“As if!” The blonde scoffed taking a huge bite, “I just don’t want to miss out on the adventure!”

“Sure kiddo.” Techno said, ruffling his younger brother’s hair. 

“Alright boys, time to get in.” Phil said, moving around to the left of the car.

Techno whipped round to face Wilbur Immediately. The other boy had also turned to face him, clearly having the same idea, but luckily for Techno he’d been too slow. 

“Shotgun.” Techno declared, pinching the brunette’s shoulder before sprinting round to clamber into the passenger’s seat. 

Wilbur gave an undignified squeak, watching with wide brown eyes as Techno claimed his triumph, before taking Tommy’s hand and muttering as they slid into the back seats. 

“You always beat me.” He sulked. 

“You must train for another thousand years if you wish to beat me.” Techno declared with a smirk. 

This was received with Wilbur rolling his eyes and Tommy sticking out his tongue.

“I don’t get to ever win against either of you two! You’re too fast and big.” Tommy whined.

“Maybe you’re just small and slow.” Techno shot back.

Wilbur let out a wheezing laugh as Tommy launched into a long string of curses that a seven year old probably shouldn’t know but had learned from the rest of the family because nobody could keep a swear jar going for more than a week. 

“I’ve got something that will cheer you two up.” Phil laughed lightly, pulling out a small black CD wallet from under the car seat. 

“Music!” Wilbur cried out eagerly as his father handed the item to him.

“Disks!” Tommy shouted with the same enthusiasm. 

Techno smiled as Wilbur lay the folder on his lap and undid the Zip on the wallet, carefully flicking through the laminated pages of CD’s. Each one shimmered holographically in the early morning sunshine. 

Tommy curiously examined the folder, shuffling up closer to Wilbur and bumping his head on his shoulder. 

“I don’t know any of these.” He huffed, scrunching his nose. 

“Wilbur will pick some out for you Toms.” Techno told the boy, looking up to his twin brother expectantly. 

“That’s right, I know all these songs,” Wilbur declared proudly, scanning the book carefully, “Aha! Here, you’ll love these ones Tommy, I think they’ll suite you.” 

Techno could sense the excitement radiating from those two back seats as Wilbur leant forwards and handed two CDs to Phil. 

“Ooh yep. I forgot we had these ones,” Phil said, letting out a whistle as he turned the discs over in his hand, the light reflecting off of them, “Good choice Wil.” 

Techno felt the car seat vibrate against his back as Phil turned the key in the engine. Once the discs were slid into the CD player, a lively tune began to play. The young boy watched in the rear-view mirror as the car pulled out of the driveway, the green front door to his home getting further and further away as they drove out onto the road.

Soon it had disappeared entirely, and Techno found himself sinking into his seat comfortably, music filling the car as they travelled. Giggling from the backseat could be heard, along with a small shout of “Yellow car!” every now and then, which was promptly followed by a loud smack. 

Phil banned the game about half an hour into their journey due to things getting too loud, so Wilbur had had the wise idea to change it to “green car” instead. Techno couldn’t even fault them for it, it was funny, but soon Phil had banned every colour car and the three boys forced him to join them in a lazy game of eye spy. 

Then Tommy fell asleep. His snores were almost as loud as when he was awake but Techno didn’t mind. Wilbur stayed awake for another hour or so, pointing at road signs and trying to get Techno to help him piece together the puzzle of where they were going for this adventure. Techno tried to figure out how far away they were from home. 

However, soon Wilbur had fallen asleep too, and Techno pulled his book out his bag and began to read. Mostly to himself at first. But then of course Phil started asking him questions. Questions about which chapter was his favourite myth and which mythological creature did he think he could beat in a fight, and well, Techno found himself reading aloud for some time after that. 

The buildings and shop signs, became highways and motels. The highways and motels became fields, forests and blurs of green. Techno felt his eyes begin to droop. He slid his bookmark in between the pages of his collection and rested his head against the glass window. 

Before he let himself drift off, he peered over to look at his father. Phil was smiling, eyes on the road, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the CD as he drove. 

“Phil,” Techno mumbled, a yawn escaping his mouth as he sunk further into his seat, “Where are we going?”

“Back to the orphanage with all of you.” Phil teased.

Techno gave the man a sleepy kick as he grumbled something about seriously wanting a real answer.

“You want the real answer Techno?” Phil has asked, waiting for him to nod his head in response.

 Phil smiled widely.

“I don’t know where we are going,” he revealed calmly, as if it were no big deal, “That’s why it’s an adventure mate. Anything could happen. Let’s just hope it’s something exciting.”

Techno probably should have been more concerned. Phil, his legal guardian, had just admitted he had no idea what they were doing. They were just driving, no end in sight. But in that moment, he didn’t care. 

Techno trusted Phil, and as he finally let his eyes shut, he was almost excited to see where they would have ended up once he wakes up. 

That place turned out to be some Bed and breakfast, set up as someone’s converted shed at the end of their garden. It was near the beach, somehow, even though the beach was miles and miles away from back home. It was proof of how far they’d gone.

The family had gotten fish and chips, and paddled in the sea. Wilbur had taught him to skim rocks, and later on, when he discovered a bottle of pink hair dye in the bathroom cupboard, left behind by a previous visitor, it was Tommy who helped him slather it on. Phil had pulled out his laptop late at night, and all three boys had clambered onto the bed with him to watch a movie. Techno can’t even remember what movie but he supposed it wasn’t important.

What was important was that even though Techno had thought a lot about the house they had left behind on this journey, he realised it didn’t matter. He didn’t care. Nestled between his family, somewhere he’d never been before, he’d never felt more at home. 

Something unexpected and unprepared for. A “real adventure” as Phil had called it later. 

It’s too bad none of the future “adventures” were quite so exciting.

It started at sixteen. Techno supposed a lot of teenagers must have felt that way. But in this case, it really did. 

Wilbur was Techno’s everything, his brother, his twin. Like he’d said before he was not afraid to admit that to anybody, bullies and friends alike. So why was Wilbur suddenly so afraid to do the same for him? 

It had been fine at the start. Wilbur had always been more social out of the two. Of course, Techno didn’t mind when Wilbur stopped having lunch with him in the library and instead went to the cafeteria with his friends. He couldn’t reasonably expect Wilbur to just sit there whilst he read books all day. 

This was Wilbur he was thinking of. Wilbur who had covered for him that time he’d smashed the neighbours garden gnome by accident. Wilbur who had aggravated the ant hill in the back yard by getting Techno to poke it with his toy sword. Wilbur who had made up several songs on the guitar just for him, and played them to him from the top of the bunkbeds they used to share, on nights when he was feeling so far away. 

He didn’t need to be joined to Wilbur by the hip constantly to know they’d always be twins. Their relationship wasn’t like that. But maybe Techno should have payed more attention. Because somewhere along the way everything went wrong. 

He’d come home early from fencing practise. Only an hour early but it did in fact make a difference that particular day. Phil was at the pharmacy buying some Calpol and Tommy was upstairs sleeping off some mild fever with a day home from school. Wilbur was taking care of him alone. Or so he’d thought. 

That’s what the text messages had said. So, what was this then?

What sounded like a couple of voices coming from the back yard had instantly caught Techno’s attention. He closed the front door quietly, setting his gym bag on the floor as he moved silently through the kitchen.

Peering out the window, Techno’s eyes narrowed as his gaze fell upon a small gathering, lying in the grass chatting away. Wilbur had his back to the house, but was instantly recognisable by his scruffy beanie he’d had since he was ten. It still fit now, almost six years later. 

There were a few other figures Techno also recognised, people he’d seen Wilbur with at school. He’d been introduced to them a few times but Wilbur never had them round long enough for him to learn their names. Another reason this gathering was so surprising to him.

Then he saw the bottles. Various cans and cups littered the lawn as teenage giggles erupted from the garden. Wine? Beer? It was too hard to tell. 

Techno felt his eyes widen as one of the boys holding a bottle passed it to his brother. He felt his shoulders go stiff as Wilbur accepted the drink with a wide smile, the corners of his eyes creasing as he drew it up towards his lips and took a long sip. 

Techno held his breath as he watched his brother down the bottle. He opened the back door. 

“What are you doing Wilbur?” He yelled. He didn’t mean to yell. He just didn’t know what else to do in the moment.

“Techno?” Wilbur said turning around stunned. 

The two made eye contact for a few seconds, the garden silent. Then a few of the guys on the floor began to howl with laughter. 

“Uh oh Will. Your brother’s back and you’re gonna get in trouble.” One of them hiccupped gleefully. 

It was only then that Techno clocked the smell of Alcohol fully. But it wasn’t even the alcohol that really bothered him. It was that Wilbur had lied. 

“Dad said you were taking care of Tommy.” Techno said sternly, ignoring the hoots from Wilbur’s friends. 

“I am, he’s upstairs.” Wilbur defended crossing his arms

“No, you’re not,” Techno said frustrated, “This isn’t watching Tommy Wil, this is goofing off and getting drunk with your friends.”

“In our own backyard! Jesus Techno, you act like I actually left the house or something. Tommy’s fine he’s upstairs.” His brother snapped, letting the beer bottle drop from his hand onto the lawn with a thud. 

Techno inhaled sharply.

“Do I need to explain why getting drunk with a small gathering isn’t being a responsible brother to you? Or can you figure out that much without me?” 

“Ooooohhhh shit. You really are in trouble Wil.” One of the boys laughed, slurring his words slightly. 

“Yeah Will, your stuck up twin brother has gone all mama mode on you now.” Another kid chimed in. 

Techno felt his fists tighten. He really wished Will would just tell his friends to piss off. This was private. Between them as brothers. 

Instead, Wilbur merely waved his hand dismissively at the comments, looking at Techno with scornful eyes he didn’t recognise. 

“Oh please, we’re adopted. We don’t even share the same birthday so how can we be twins?” He drawled, “Besides, he couldn’t mama me if he tried.”

This caused the group to erupt with laughter once more. Techno was not accustomed to embarrassment or humiliation, but he thinks that this was probably the closest he’s ever come to feeling that way. Suddenly his throat was tight and his cheeks were hot. But mostly, he was just angry. 

“Wilbur,” He growled out, “tell your buddies to leave now or I’m calling Phil.” 

Wilbur looked taken aback by Techno’s sudden rage, but recomposed himself quickly and did as he said anyway.

“Ugh, you heard him guys. Parties over now scram.” He muttered, standing up and brushing grass off of his trousers. 

“Boo, killjoy.” One of the teens spat, glaring right at Techno.

Techno glared back. His knuckles white on the door handle. 

“Next time we’re doing this at my place. Got it Wil?” A random kid mumbled, climbing over the wooden fence. 

“Yeah, yeah sure. I’m sorry, now shoo!” Wilbur replied waving the crowd off. 

Techno waited until they were all gone. The anger he felt was still present, humming beneath the surface of his skin, ringing in his ears, but as he looked into Wilbur’s honey brown eyes for a moment, he felt some of it wash away. 

“Let’s talk this out inside okay?” Wilbur said, placing a hand casually on his shoulder.

Techno allowed himself to be guided into the kitchen by the other boy, coming to stand by the sink. Wilbur pulled a chair out from under the table and looked up at him expectantly.

“So?”

Techno snapped out of his haze and grit his teeth. 

“You fucked up Will.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, about drinking.” The brunette replied rolling his eyes.

“No, about lying,” Techno corrected firmly, “I mean the drinking too. But I’m pretty sure it’s just part of the bigger issue which is that you lied. To me and to Phil. You said you were alone with Tommy.”

“Okay! So, I lied a little. I fucked up. Sure. But it’s not like I left the house or anything,” Wilbur argued, crossing his legs in his seat, “I was still around. And I only lied once.”

Techno narrowed his eyes. Doubt filled his ears like white noise, it was impossible to ignore. 

“Did you Wilbur?” He questioned lowly, “Did you only lie once? How often has this been going on? How often do you lie to me?”

“Christ Techno!” Wilbur cried out agitated, starting to finally raise his voice, “This is only the second time we’ve hung out like that. And the first time wasn’t even at our house it was another dude’s! It’s not like we were getting totally wasted or doing anything super dangerous. We were just hanging out!”

“You’ve done this before and you didn’t tell me?” Techno shouted.

Wilbur’s brows furrowed, and Techno felt himself go still under the look the other was giving him. Wilbur stood up. 

“Why do I have to tell you anything? What makes you think you’re entitled to my personal life? I’m my own person outside of you Techno.” He hissed.

Techno wasn’t sure how to answer. He thought back to just five minutes earlier when Wilbur had so casually dismissed him to his friends. A small pit formed in the bottom of his stomach, but he kept his composure as best he could.

“Because you’re my brother. My twin. We have each others backs.” He answered carefully. 

He watched the tension fade out of Wilbur’s face. The brunette took a step back from him, placing a hand on the table as if to steady himself. He stayed still for moment before looking up to meet his gaze. 

“Oh Techno,” Wilbur replied softly with a shake of his head, “You’re right I’m sorry.”

Techno felt slightly surprised as Wilbur walked towards him, arms open wide as he engulfed him into a huge hug. Despite his initial shock, the boy felt himself melt into his brother’s embrace, holding on tightly. He was almost afraid that any moment Wilbur would withdraw and become someone he didn’t recognise again. 

“I’m sorry Tech,” Wilbur muttered, rubbing small circles on his back in a way that reminded him of their father, “I’ll go check on Tommy right now. See how he’s doing.”

Techno couldn’t find any words to reply with so he just nodded. Wilbur smiled at him as they parted, and turned in the direction of the staircase.

“Oh! Very quickly, now that’s over, you aren’t going to tell Phil, right?” Wilbur asked suddenly, stopping in his tracks. 

Techno hesitated. 

“I- “

“Come on Techno, I promise not have those guys around here anymore,” Wilbur pleaded, “I won’t lie to you anymore either. You have my back. You always do. Brothers, right?”

“… right.” Techno sighed, giving in, “You better make it up to Tommy though.” 

“Of course! Of course!” Wilbur smirked, “Anything for my gremlin brother.” 

Once Wilbur left the Kitchen Techno collapsed into the seat he’d left untucked. He could hear Wilbur cooing for Tommy from upstairs and the faint noise of the youngest cussing loudly in reply. 

He ran a hand through his hair, and sat there a moment. He’d never seen Wilbur like that before. And he decided he didn’t want to. Thankfully that shouldn’t be a problem if Wilbur upheld his end of the bargain. 

Later that night, after Wilbur had cleaned up the lawn and Phil had returned home, Techno was sat at his desk studying. Trying to anyway. The textbook lay open in front of him, all the words he read made sense, but they didn’t stick. 

Techno found himself having to reread lines up to five times before he truly processed the whole thing. He grunted, running his hand through his hair. It was frustrating.

“Feeling distracted big man?” A voice came from behind him. 

Tommy stood in the doorway, the twelve year old still in his pyjamas. His hair was messy from sleeping most of the day off and there was toothpaste smeared across his cheek. 

“What’s it to you?” Techno grumbled, closing the text book.

Tommy blinked at him owlishly from the doorway, before taking this as a sign to invite himself into Techno’s room fully. 

“I heard you making stressy noises from next door. All huffing and shit. You sound like a pig when you do that ya know?” Tommy explained, clambering onto the beanbag by the foot of his bed. 

Techno gave a doubtful hum. 

“It’s true! You do!” Tommy insisted, pulled his knees up to his chest as he wiggled around to get comfortable, “Also… I heard you and Wilbur fighting downstairs earlier.”

“Oh,” Techno replied monotonously, “I thought you were asleep.”

“Eh I was like half asleep,” Tommy shrugged, “resting, that’s what Phil said.”

“Sure.”  

There was a short uncomfortable silence as the young blonde continued to stare at Techno. He cleared his throat. 

“So, are you going to tell me what you two were fighting about or what?” 

“Nah, it’s not important to you Toms,” Techno replied, swinging around in his desk chair, “Besides, twins code. Fights between us stay between us.”

“That’s bullshit!” The young blonde protested. 

“Sorry Toms, I don’t make the rules.”

“You literally do- you, ughhh,” Tommy whined, dropping back into the beanbag, “Bitch.” 

Techno felt himself exhale through his nose as he watched his youngest brother complain. It was annoying, as usual, but Tommy just kind of was. Somewhere along the line, he had even learned to find it endearing. Not by a lot, but by just enough to tolerate his brother. 

“Did you come in here just to mope about or do you actually need something?” Techno asked with a smirk.

“’Yeah! I need you to stop being so stressed!” Tommy demanded from where he was lying flat on his back, “It’s keeping me awake and I need my beauty sleep.”

Techno was just about to reply with something witty, perhaps a snarky remark such as “How exactly do you expect me to do that?” when Tommy very suddenly sat up and pushed himself up out of his seat. 

Techno felt himself go stiff as the blonde shuffled across the carpet and pulled him into a hug. The angle was awkward because Techno was still sitting down whereas Tommy was now standing, but the feeling of his younger brother’s arms around his shoulders was both pleasant enough and surprising enough for the tension to leave his muscles. 

Two small hands began to tangle with the back of his hair, pulling the strands, but not too hard. The process was more a gentle tug, not aiming to do anything specific, just a simple action to calm him down. And it worked.

Techno’s eyes closed as he returned the embrace. His brother was warm, probably due to the earlier fever, but the hug was still comforting nonetheless. They only stayed like this a few moments longer. When the pair finally parted he found himself looking into Tommy’s round blue eyes which were watching him curiously.

“Are you still stressed now?” The blonde asked quietly. 

“Yeah, sure, one hug and everything’s now dandy,” Techno answered, but despite the sarcastic tone his expression was one of fondness, “Got get some rest Tommy. Feel better soon.”

“Whatever, see you in the morning bitch!” Tommy babbled as Techno ruffled his hair.

The older boy then reclined in his seat as his little old brother scampered out the door and disappeared down the corridor. Techno sighed, picking his textbook up off of the desk and shoving it in his bag. No point trying to study when he couldn’t focus. It was unproductive and a waste of time, he might as well head off to bed now. 

And so, he did, blissfully unaware of the change that was about to come. News that would rock his fragile boat and flip everything he knew about the world on its head.

The next day Tommy did not feel better. If anything, it was clear to the family that the small boy felt worse than the day before, and that his mild fever might be a real fever after all. Despite Phil’s best efforts to get the boy to eat, it ended up being for nothing as at midday he’d thrown up all his breakfast, and by noon he’d emptied his stomach of everything else. 

The family kept a close eye on Tommy the day following. Looking for any signs of things getting better, or signs of things getting imminently worse. For a couple of days, the illness stayed rather neutral, Tommy would curl up on the sofa and watch movies all day long with Techno and Wilbur by his side. 

On Monday it even seemed like things were finally turning around, as Tommy went back into school for a couple hours, before being sent home sick again in the afternoon. By the evening of the fourth day an increasingly concerned Phil had bundled Tommy into the back of the car to visit the hospital, leaving Wilbur and Techno at home to make dinner. 

Wilbur had said he wasn’t hungry, heading straight to the sofa and flopping down onto the cushions. TV remote clasped firmly in his hands as he flickered aimlessly through the channels. Techno didn’t feel like cooking, especially since it was just him eating apparently, so he microwaved a can of soup that Phil had bought for Tommy and joined his twin in the living room. 

“You think Tommy’s going to be okay?” Wilbur asked, his voice half muffled by the pillow in front of his face. 

Techno just shrugged. It was likely that Tommy would be fine and that it was just the fever taking a little too long for everybody’s liking. However, on the very serious off chance he was wrong … well, he didn’t want to be wrong. He would rather just say nothing at all. 

Taking a small sip of his soup, Techno watched his brother out the corner of his eye as he continued to shift through the channels on TV. The screen flickered, a program about golf, the wildlife channel, a recording of yesterday’s football match. They sorted through a few more before Wilbur seemingly decided to settle on a shitty TV show where they reviewed fake antiques. 

They had only been watching this sixty year old man babble about a vase he could supposedly trace all the way back to the ancient Greeks for ten minutes before Wilbur spoke again.

“Techno, what do you want to do when you leave here?” 

It was a weird question. Seemed to have come completely out of nowhere to him and caught him off guard. 

“I don’t know? Why’d you want to know?” Techno asked back, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well, it’s not a million miles off from when we’ve got to start thinking about university you know,” Wilbur explained, eyes still glued to the TV screen, “dad mentioned it a couple of days ago. About sitting down with us to start discussing where we want to go.”

“Oh,” Techno replied with a nod, “I don’t know then, I’ll probably become an English major or something.” 

Wilbur hummed. Techno could see the reflection of the light from the television plastered as a perfect square in Wilbur’s glasses.

“Not classics then?” His brother inquired. 

“Nah, I kinda need Greek for that, and I’ve only got Latin under my belt.”

“You could always take a course or something,” Wilbur suggested thoughtfully, “I’m sure dad wouldn’t mind helping you with that if that’s what you want to do. You’ve always loved classics. I think you’d be good at it.” 

Techno felt his heart swell slightly. A nostalgic buzz as he thought of his tattered copy of Greek myths that lay on his bedside table. Wilbur was right, he did enjoy classics. 

“I’m not sure what jobs I could get with a classics degree,” Techno instead voiced, trying to be practical, “I feel like if I take English I’ll have more options open to me right off the bat.”

“Sure, you know more about it then me,” Wilbur admitted, “I just want you to be happy, wherever you go.”

Techno didn’t smile. There was no point, Wilbur wasn’t looking in his direction. But he hoped that his twin knew his silence was a comfortable thoughtful one. That his words had given him a fair bit to think about.

“What about you? I’ve told you my plan so now it’s your go.” He said after a few minutes, returning the question. 

“I think… I’m not sure,” Wilbur replied, pulling the pillow a little closer to his chest, “I think living abroad could be nice. Maybe I’ll go study music in America.” 

“America?” Techno asked, tilting his head curiously, “Why so far away?” 

Wilbur closed his eyes. Techno waited quietly on the end of the sofa for his twin to answer. He blinked as his brother raised the TV remote, pointed it at the screen and the room went dark. 

“I’m going to take a nap,” Wilbur announced rolling over on the couch, “Wake me up when Tommy and dad get home.” 

“Okay.” He replied softly. 

He pulled out his phone and began scrolling whilst his twin slept undisturbed beside him. Every now and then his hand would come to rest by Wilbur’s head tucking one of his chestnut curls behind his ear. Hoping his brother could feel his soothing actions in his sleep. Wishing it would grant some peace to whatever was on Wilbur’s mind. 

He began looking at Universities, reading up on various English courses and then comparing them to the classical ones. He then fell into a rabbit hole of checking his predicted grades, the money he had saved, the money Phil had promised him, and trying to work out how long he could survive of Mac and Cheese whilst paying for Uni with no health insurance. 

He calculated a bunch of ridiculous scenarios all through the night, even how much it would cost him to become professional penguinologist. At some point he’d even forgot what he’d originally been researching. 

At ten in the morning Phil came home. Wilbur was still asleep, and Tommy was no where to be seen. Instead of being given an explanation Phil had instead packed himself an overnight bag and threw on his coat ready to leave again. 

“I’m sorry Techno,” His father had murmured softly, pressing a kiss to his forehead, “I don’t know what’s going on either. Anything could happen. Let’s just hope it’s something good.”

It wasn’t good. It was another five days before they were told what was really happening. Another three days on top of that till Tommy came home. 

Techno remembered laying eyes on his youngest brother when he stepped through the front door for the first time in a week. 

He looked awful. His blonde hair was untidy and matted. His skin was pale and his eyes were red. Techno didn’t know someone’s appearance could change so much within such a short amount of time. He stood awkwardly at the bottom of the staircase, holding Wilbur’s hand like they were little frightened children. 

Phil had ushered Tommy past them and up the stairs, speaking in fast but hushed tones, sparing the twins one apologetic glance before locking himself and Tommy away in his room. Techno noted how distant his younger brother had seemed, how he’d had this faraway look in his eyes and how he’d barley shown any sign of even seeing Techno when he had been right there in front of him.

He didn’t let go of Wilbur’s hand for a while after. 

Tommy was ill, and it was serious. It still felt unreal. The probability of the worst coming true was so low and yet, the fact was there. It hung in the air like post it note on a bulletin board. Mocking him. Taunting him. 

Most of all he felt fear. Fear like nothing else he’d ever felt. The possibility. The probability. There was only one outcome that lay heavy on his chest like an iron weight. His little brother might die. Tommy might die. And Techno didn’t want that. 

“You can take the day off school tomorrow if you want, you two?” Phil had offered them as they sat around the kitchen table, cups of tea untouched and getting colder by the minute, “So you can process everything.” 

And of course, Techno had declined because what was there to process? What was there to do? This was worse than anything he’d every heard. He hadn’t even gotten the chance to speak with Tommy properly since he’d come back, to hug him, to chat to him, to see how he was holding up. He was definitely not going to spend the day stuck in his room just thinking about it all. 

So, the next day he got up and went to school whilst Wilbur stayed home. He took his Chemistry exam, wrote his English paper and finished annotating the Odyssey. Wilbur actually took two days off school instead of one but if Phil noticed he didn’t say anything. 

It took a few days before Techno went to see Tommy properly, with just himself and Tommy in the room. He would have gone before but he didn’t trust himself not to make Tommy upset somehow. 

When he’d entered the room, his younger brother had been sprawled upon his bed, propped up on pillows that had been neatly arranged by Phil with a tray of food by his bedside. The young blonde seemed much more aware than two days ago, up, alert and playing on his Nintendo switch. 

“Animal crossing!” Tommy said excitedly, flashing Techno a huge grin and he walked over to perch awkwardly at the end of his bed, “The neighbours got it for me as a present for getting sick.”

“Mhhm.” Techno nodded, as Tommy held the screen up to his face.

“I would have gotten sick sooner if I’d known it would get me animal crossing.” The young boy snickered, and before Techno had the chance to say anything he’d already scooted across the bed and placed the gaming device on his lap. 

“You’re good at maths and shit,” Tommy said elbowing Techno in the ribs, “Reckon you could help me pay off my debt big man?”

Techno swallowed, but examined the game screen anyway. 

“Tom Nook,” He read aloud, squinting at the screen, “This is the guy we owe money to?”

“Yup.” Tommy replied with a nod.

“And we can’t fight him?”

“Nope.” Tommy said popping the “p”. 

“Are you sure?” Techno asked again, and felt himself smile at his brother’s expression of disbelief. It was his first true smile in days.

“I was just double checking kiddo, don’t fret,” He assured, ruffling Tommy’s hair as the blonde stuck out his tongue at him, “I’ll help you pay off this debt.”

Tommy took the controller back, and continued to play the game as Techno commentated and gave the occasional financial advice. Not that it was good advice, as he really didn’t have any idea what the value of bells were in this game, but he was figuring it out as they went along.

It felt normal. For the most part anyway. Sitting here playing video games, just him and Tommy. 

Still, every time he laid eyes on his little brother he couldn’t help but stare. Every bone under his skin, every shadow on his face, Techno found himself trying to remember if it had been there before. If he’d ever noticed. When he’d catch himself staring too long he’d look away quickly, and just hope that his little brother had been too immersed in the game to notice. 

He felt guilt. He felt like a bad brother. And as the weeks progressed and turned into months, he found Tommy was not the only reason for his aching heart. 

Wilbur. His twin his brother. His everything. Stumbled home at two in the morning. Absolutely shit faced. 

“Hey Techno.” Wilbur slurred, leaning against the front door, barley even able to keep his eyes focused. His hair was a mess, his trench coat hanging off of one shoulder and his beanie was pulled wonkily over his head. 

“Wilbur.” Techno said emotionlessly, because really, what was he supposed to say?

“Aww Techno, don’t be like that, don’t- “he hiccupped, looking down at his feet “-Look at me like that. It makes me feel bad.”

Techno drew in a long breath and rubbed his temples. 

“You’re wasted. That’s why you feel bad. You did this to yourself.” He exhaled slowly.

“No, being wasted makes me feel good, Techno,” Wilbur corrected him obliviously, grabbing the door handle for balance, “I haven’t felt good in such a long time Tech, you should try getting drunk, it will take your mind off of things. It does for me.”

“What things?” Techno hissed, his fist curling into a ball, “Like the fact Tommy is terminally ill? Like the fact he’s been hospitalised again for the second time this month and you weren’t even home when it happened?”

Techno was furious. His brother seemed to shrink slightly at his words. Wilbur hiccupped again, swaying slightly where he stood. 

“Exactly! Things like that,” He agreed timidly with an encouraging nod that made Techno want to punch a wall, “That’s the worst definitely, I don’t like thinking about that. But it also works for my friends too!”

Techno’s eyes widened as Wilbur tripped sideways. He took a few steps forward just in time for his brother to collapse into his arms. Wilbur’s jaw rested on Techno’s shoulder, and before he could shove him away he found his brother had wrapped his arms around him tightly.

“My friends don’t like me when I’m sober,” Wilbur murmured into Techno’s ear causing him to freeze, “They don’t like most things when they’re sober. But when we’re not, oh, it’s so much better. The world is better. They laugh with me, not at me.”

“Wil…” Techno said softly, unsure whether to move or not. 

“I hate them, I don’t know why they’re my friends, they’re miserable to be around and are such pricks,” Wilbur continued, though he didn’t sound sad at all, if anything, he sounded thoughtful, “But I suppose it’s cause I crave social validation, even if it’s fake, I’ll just take what I can get. I’m not like you Tech. You thrive when you’re alone. I can’t be alone. I don’t want to be alone.”

Techno swallowed, pulling his twin in closer to him. His hands were shaking slightly but he steadied himself and stayed calm. 

“You aren’t alone Wil, you’ve never been alone. You have me. I’ll be here for you.” Techno soothed in hushed tones. 

Wilbur was crying now. Techno could feel the warm wet as patches of tears began to soak into his shirt. 

“You won’t be here for me! You’re talented and smart and you can live just fine without me, b- but I can’t live without you,” Wilbur sobbed, his whole body trembling, “I can’t live without Tommy. Without my baby brother. I love him and I’m so scared I don’t have enough time left. I don’t want to be alone!” 

Techno swallowed thickly as Wilbur’s agonising cries rang throughout the house. A sense of hopelessness kept his feet glued to the spot, rubbing circles across his brother’s back as a pathetic attempt to provide relief. 

It wasn’t until Wilbur had thrown up all over his shoes that he then moved his twin to the couch, propping him up in bed the same way he would do for Tommy on days when he was too weak to sit up himself. 

He held Wilbur’s hand as he lay there sniffling, chocking on his own tears and snot and Techno just felt awful. He was simply sitting there, patting Wilbur’s back and mumbling empty promises that everything would turn out okay when the situation was so far beyond him at this point. 

When Phil’s car pulled up in the driveway Techno knew it was going to be bad. He’d escaped upstairs quietly, surrendering a clearly fucked up Wilbur to the wrath of a tired, overworked and over worried father.

Once he reached the top of the stairs the shouting began and Techno immediately covered his ears. He didn’t want to listen. He couldn’t listen. Hurriedly, he dashed down the corridor towards his room, but before he got there he paused. 

The door to Tommy’s room was open, just a crack. He could see Henry, Tommy’s cow plush, sitting abandoned on his younger brother’s empty bed. He didn’t even think twice before entering. He snatched Henry from on top of the bedsheets and darted out just as quickly as he came in. 

He slammed the door once safely inside his room, Henry cradled gently in his arms. Techno felt a tear slide down his cheek as he sunk to the floor, his back sliding against the wall. As the shouting downstairs grew louder, his grip on the worn out cow toy grew tighter. It was as if in that moment, this cow was the only thing keeping him tethered and together. 

Techno fell asleep like that, knees tucked up to his chest, head resting uncomfortably against the door, and Henry tucked safely in his arms. 

Wilbur stayed at a friend’s house for the following three days. And Techno felt guilty. He’d been a bad brother. Again. 

“Hey Tommy.” Techno greeted, poking his head around Tommy’s door. It was now five days later and Tommy was home again. Techno was not about to waste quality time with his little brother and so had come up with a plan for that afternoon. 

“Want to help me re-dye my hair if you’re feeling up to it?” He asked, approaching the bed where his brother lay resting. 

Tommy had done this few time with him since the week they got the news. It was a fairly easy activity for the pair and made for good bonding time to catch up whenever Tommy came back from hospital. 

Tommy’s blue eyes flickered up to meet his gaze. His collar bones were now prominent under his T shirt, and his skin had lost it’s healthy flush entirely. Techno was sure that in this state, Tommy could easily pass for someone much older, if it weren’t for the baby fat still clinging to the sides of his face that reminded him that this was his little brother, and not some other person entirely. 

“Sure, big man,” Tommy responded hoarsely, reaching his hands out, “Help me get up then will you?”

Techno helped pull his brother out of bed. It wasn’t difficult. The boy weighed hardly anything anymore. He guided the boys hands to hold around his waist and lean on him for support, ignoring all the bruises and marks left by the cannulas that had been inserted during hospital visits and now littered his little brother’s arms. 

They made their way slowly to the bathroom, and Techno very gently helped Tommy sit down on the side of the bathtub. 

“Pink again?” the young blonde asked inspecting the liquid in the bowl that had been left out. 

“Yep.” Techno confirmed, taking off his shirt so he could sit on the floor in front of Tommy.

“Good,” Tommy huffed, “Pink is your colour.” 

Techno smiled and shuffled backwards making sure he was close enough for Tommy to reach without much effort. 

“You good to start?”  He then asked once he was sitting comfortably. 

“Sure am big man, just don’t move your head around too much or else it will be annoying.” The voice behind him chirped. 

Techno shivered slightly as he felt the brush move along his scalp.

“I said don’t move!” Tommy scolded.

“Sorry,” Techno apologised, “It’s cold.”

He allowed himself to sit there, pleasantly, enjoying the quiet company as Tommy raked the brush through his hair. The dye was probably going to wash out unevenly but Techno didn’t care.

He had just closed his eyes when he heard Tommy begin to hum. It was a familiar tune, one he’d heard many times before on long car journey’s and the commute to school. 

“Those are the CD’s from our car.” He stated nostalgically. 

“Ugh, the discs have names you know. Cat and Mellohi,” Tommy explained with a faint laugh, “But yeah. Wilbur gave them too me whilst I was in hospital. They’re nice to listen to when I don’t really feel like doing anything else.” 

“That’s nice,” Techno agreed, “Has Wilbur visited a lot then recently?” 

“Yeah a couple of times, he’s really good at reminding me to take medication when Phil’s at work.” 

Techno hummed as his brother gently tugged on a section of his hair. 

“He also lets me use his phone to facetime Tubbo and Ranboo, which is nice cause I hadn’t seen them for like two weeks.” Tommy added, starting a new section of Techno’s head, oblivious to the blank expression that had swept over his older brother’s face. 

Of course. It was so easy to forget that Tommy had friends. Friends from school, and other classmates. Peers who would inevitably leave him behind. Techno blinked hard when the reality hit him. Tommy wouldn’t even get finish school. He would die a child. 

Techno had to pinch himself to prevent making any kind of noise. He couldn’t upset Tommy. He couldn’t. Tommy was having a hard enough time coming to terms with everything himself. 

“You good big man?” His brother asked, noticing how quiet he’d gotten. 

“Yeah, sorry Toms, just thinking.” He replied quietly. 

The rest of the afternoon passed quietly, with Tommy getting tired towards the end and Techno having to finish the last of his hair himself. 

The days crawled on by. 

Tommy spent more days in hospital than he did at home, and finally the week came where the family had to finally make a decision. Stretch out the inevitable a little longer, or bring Tommy home for the final time. 

There were going to be no more trips to hospital anymore. 

It was late at night when Wilbur pushed open the door to Techno’s room quietly. He heard him tiptoe across the floor, and felt his brother push his way under the covers, his head popping out from under the duvet.

“Techno,” Wilbur whispered, poking his cheek, “Are you awake?”

Techno grunted, but rolled over to face his brother anyway. 

“What do you want Wil?” He murmured, trying to make out his twin’s face in the darkness of his room. 

“Can I sleep here tonight?” Wilbur asked hesitantly. 

Techno felt surprise wash over him, that he quickly shook away as he shuffled further under the bedsheets. 

“Sure.” He replied, “Just don’t kick me in your sleep or anything.” 

“Thank you.”

Techno could feel anxious energy radiating from where Wilbur lay, but decided to wait until he was ready to come clean with whatever he needed to get off of his chest. 

“I’m moving to America.” Wilbur said suddenly. 

And there it was. 

“Next year, of course. Not this year, I’ve got to finish school first, you know?” Wilbur spoke quickly, barely pausing to take a breath before he continued, “I spoke to Phil about it. He wasn’t keen on it at first, he still isn’t, I don’t think, but he’s allowing. I think he understands deep down, that this is something I have to do. So, yeah, I’m moving to America next year.” 

Silence fell upon the two as Wilbur waited anxiously for Techno’s response. 

Techno couldn’t imagine losing his twin. He knew it wasn’t the same sort of loss as losing Tommy would be, but an ocean between them would still be a long way. Wilbur was his twin. His brother. His everything. And this information made Techno’s mouth go dry. He was going to be completely alone. 

He licked his lips, pondering carefully about what he was going to say before speaking. 

“You… you have fun in America. Okay?” Techno said slowly, “As long as you promise to stay in touch and don’t drop off the face of the earth.”

Wilbur stayed quiet for a few moments.

“Will you miss me?” He asked timidly.

“More than anything.” Techno answered truthfully. 

“And you aren’t mad?”

Techno felt his heart ache a little. 

“What? No Wilbur, of course I’m not mad. Why would I be mad?” He responded, ““I just want you to be happy, wherever you go.”

Before he knew what was happening Wilbur was burying his face in Techno’s chest. A brotherly embrace that was long overdue. 

“Thank you.” He heard Wilbur whisper. 

Half an hour later the door to Techno’s room opened again and the twins turned their heads towards the light footsteps making their way over the bed. 

“Oi, dickheads, got room for one more?” Came Tommy’s croaky voice. 

The two wasted no time in tucking Tommy into the bed with them. Swaddling the youngest in blankets and making sure he was snuggled neatly between the pair. 

Wilbur pushed the blonde’s hair out of his eyes and Techno rearranged the pillows, before they all settled down again. The room had been silent for all of three minutes before Tommy let out a cry of sudden discovery. 

“What is Henry doing in your bed?” Tommy exclaimed, shocked when he pulled the cow plush out from under the pillows. 

Techno felt his face go red with embarrassment. He’d forgotten to give Henry back. It had been weeks now since he’d stolen in. 

“I’m so sorry Toms. I just … you’d left him behind and…” Techno didn’t get to finish his sentence, as both Wilbur and Tommy had erupted into a fit of giggles.

Techno burrowed further under the bedsheets in an attempt to hide his face, even though the room was dark enough already. 

“I’m sorry…” He murmured apologetically again. 

“Don’t be sorry Tech,” Tommy snorted, holding his sides, “I thought I’d lost him at the hospital or something. I’m just glad he’s with you.”

Techno felt a small hand reach out to find his face, and allowed the thin fingers to comb weakly through his hair. 

“You can keep him,” Tommy whispered, “I want you to have him.”

Techno nodded shakily, even though nobody could see the gesture.

“And Wilbur before you start complaining and shit I already put the discs in your backpack,” Tommy announced, ruffling the bedsheets as he turned over to face the brunette, “So don’t be a whiney bitch okay?”

“Thank you, Tommy.” Came Wilbur’s soft voice, “I love you.”

“I love you Toms.” Techno found himself saying as well.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Tommy babbled, “I love you both as well.” 

The three brothers all snuggled closer under the bedsheets. Tommy’s head resting on Techno’s chest and Wilbur’s arm across them both. 

That night as they all slept, Tommy curled up between his two brothers, where he was safe and warm and loved, and passed away. 

Phil found them in the morning. Kissed each of their foreheads with teary eyes before waking everybody up and calling the ambulance. 

Tommy was gone. His baby brother. And Techno missed him so much. 

He cried a lot. They all did. There were some days he just didn’t know what to do with himself but sit in his room, holding onto to Henry for dear life as tears streamed down his face. 

He cried for his little brother, who never got to grow up. He cried for his brother’s friends who had looked so small in their little funeral suits. He cried for Phil who was robbed of a son, and for Wilbur who was robbed of a brother. He cried for those simpler times and a childhood he so dearly missed. And finally, he cried for himself. 

The house was so empty without Tommy. His heart felt much the same. 

Life would never be the same. This wasn’t the sort of change Techno could ever see himself getting over. But as the painful years passed by, he learned to cope. Gradually, he began to live life again. Little by little. 

It was hard. So hard. Sometimes he wasn’t sure if he was doing alright. But with his family close by he made it through. 

By the time Wilbur had finally set off for America, Techno was at home, studying classics online at university. And for the second time in his life he embraced change with open arms, he was ready to start living again. 

“What’s that?” Phil asked, looking up from where he was buttering his toast. 

“It’s a letter, from Wilbur.” Techno replied, reading the piece of paper in his hands.

“And what does he say?”

“He says America was unexpected and unprepared for,” Techno smiled, “A real adventure.”