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The Genma effect

Summary:

Kakashi may have been the smartest ninja of his generation as well as a prodigy shinobi having graduated at only 5, but there are somethings you can't do no matter how smart you are.

Or-
Kakashi was a literal fetus when he was at the academy and no one mentions it

Notes:

I have no idea where the 'Genma is a mother hen' trope came from but, I kinda love it? Plus seeing as how he got like 5 minutes collective screen time, I think the fandoms allowed to embellish his personality a bit. I choose to believe that Kakashi and Genma are good friends since they've know each other for so long. Not just because he was on the same team as Gai but because they also were in ANBU around the same time. Also you can't convince me they all saw baby Kakashi walk in and didn't immediately think "child must protect"
according to canon Kakashi became a Chunin at age six, assuming he was genin for at least a little while we can say he probably graduated around 5, that being said genius or no I feel like he would have had to attend the academy at least a year.
Genma, Asuma, and Kurenai are about 9 years old and Kakashi is 4. I know canon says they were all the same age, but it makes no since so I'm choosing to ignore it.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It was a cold winter day as Asuma sat with Genma and Kurenai after school. They had spent all day inside studying jutsu and the history of Konoha. Due to the heavy snow they’ve had the last few days, outdoor training has been temporarily canceled. School had let out about ten minutes ago and few people remained in the classroom, most having run to the warmth of home first chance they got. Asuma and Kurenai were standing around Genma’s desk as Kurenai attempted to convince him to go get snacks at the convenience store down the street with them.

“Please Genma? It’ll be fun! And if you come with us I’ll even buy yours.” Kurenai bribed as Genma chewed on a piece of wheat, the picture of unbothered. 

“Hey! How come you never offer to pay for me?” Asuma complained with a frown and Kurenai turned to him with a huff.

“Because you’ll come with me no matter what. I need Genma to come with us or my mom won’t let me go!” Asuma’s cheeks flushed at her comment and he chose to look annoyed as he crossed his arms and looked away. “My mom thinks it’s not safe for me to go walking around alone.” Genma finally spared her an irritated look puffing air through his nose.

“Asuma’s going with you, why do you need me?” Genma complained and Asuma couldn’t help but agree. He had asked her the same question when she told him they had to wait for Genma. Kurenai sighed dramatically as she leaned against Genma, shoving him slightly to the side.

“Becauussee last time my dad saw me out alone with Asuma he wouldn’t stop bothering me about it and kept asking a bunch of annoying questions like if I liked him or not.” She drawled and Asuma felt his face somehow grow redder. “If you come with us he can’t accuse me of trying to date boys before I’m old enough.” It seemed Genma decided to have pity on him as he sighed and stood up pushing Kurenai off him as he did.

“Fine, but you better be paying.” Kurenai nodded quickly with a smile as she looped her arm with Asuma’s. He jumped at her sudden closeness but forced himself to relax. It was well known amongst their class that Kurenai was a naturally touchy person. As Asuma looked towards the door, it was then he noticed Kakashi still hovering towards the entrance. Huh, that’s odd. He’s usually the first one out. Kakashi always avoided them if he could despite their best efforts to befriend him. Kakashi was the youngest person to ever attend the ninja academy at age 4 and was already in the same class rank as Asuma and his friends.

It still amazed him how his dad could let a literal toddler do shinobi training. Everyone in their friend group had unanimously decided that it was officially their job to look out for him any way they could. Though if he was being honest Kakashi did a pretty good job looking after himself. Despite his age (and size) he was one of, if not the best kid in their class. He once overheard his dad call him a certifiable genius. Which is why he found it so odd he hadn’t left yet. Kakashi left everyday almost directly after class, where he would then run outside to meet his dad who picked him up. 

“Hey, what’s up with Kakashi?” Asuma voiced, causing his two companions to direct their attention to the door. He watched as frowns overtook their faces at the sight of the small boy. 

“Is he…having trouble with his coat?” Kurenai ventured after a moment of them all shamelessly staring. Upon closer inspection, sure enough Kakashi was messing with the buttons on his coat. Though he didn’t seem to be making any progress. Asuma didn’t need to see his face to tell he was getting frustrated. 

“Uh, what should we do?” Asuma asked after another moment of them sitting in silence. He felt Kurenai shrug from beside him. He turned to look at Genma hoping he would have a better idea only to see a look of determination cross his face. “Genma?’ Asuma prompted when Genma suddenly started walking straight towards Kakashi. “Wait, Genma don’t-” His warning was entirely discarded as Genma kept walking. Does he have a death wish? Everyone knew that when it came to Kakashi you should never offer your help outright, To do so would be suggesting he needed help which was of course ridiculous. He may only be 4 but the kid could be downright viscous if he thought someone was doubting his ability. Despite Genma being well aware of all these things he confidently strutted right up to Kakashi. 

“Yo, Kakashi-Kun” Kakashi paused his fiddling with his coat to glance up at Genma. He scowled at him through his mask as though the greeting had personally offended him. “Do you need help with your coat? You’ve been messing with it for a while.” What was he doing?! Asuma thought panicked. Kakashi’s scowl deepened as he huffed defiantly, 

“I can do it by myself!” Kakashi practically hissed at him, though Genma’s stance didn’t change as he quirked an eyebrow at him.

“You sure? I saw your dad waiting by the gate. If you take too much longer he might get worried.” Kakashi froze at his words. He glared at Genma for a minute longer before huffing again looking at the ground.

“...I can’t get the buttons done.” He admitted quietly after a moment or two. Genma just took it with a nod. Asuma resisted his urge to gasp as Genma proceeded to not get stabbed by the tiny ninja. He spared a glance at Kurenai to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating this whole thing. Kuernai had her own mouth gaping slightly as she stared at the scene with equal shock. Safe to say she saw it too.

“Would you like some help?”

“...yes please” Genma quickly reached over and began messing with Kakashi’s coat. Admittedly the coat was rather large on the small boy, stopping just above his knees. Genma clicked his tongue as he began doing the buttons.

“No wonder you couldn’t do it. These buttons are huge. How’d you even get it on?” Kakashi scuffed his foot against the floor as he avoided Genma’s gaze. 

“Tou-San did it for me.” Genma hummed as he finished the buttons and moved on to fixing his collar and hood, even going as far to readjust his scarf. Genma had always been the most tidy of all of them when it came to appearance. 

“How’s that? Good?” Kakashi gave a tiny nod and looked like he was about to walk off when Genma noticed he had left his boots untied. “Hey, hold on. You’ll trip over your laces if you don’t tie ‘em first.” Kakashi looked down at his feet and quickly shoved the laces inside his shoes, turning to finally leave the classroom. Genma grabbed him by the hood forcing him to whip back around in annoyance. 

“Hey-!”

“Do you not know how to tie them?” Genma cut off his protest as Kakashi bristled at the comment. When he refused to answer, Genma sighed and leaned down so he could reach Kakashi’s feet. As he pulled the laces back out, Kakashi traced his movements with his eyes. “Ya know, if you don’t know how to do something you can just say so. We’re not gonna make fun of you or anything.” He reassured and Kakashi once again stayed quiet. When Genma went to do the other shoe Kakashi reached down to stop him. Genma paused looking at him with a silent question. 

They all watched as Kakashi examined his newly tied boot before he grabbed the laces of the other one. It took a bit longer than Genma but he had managed to tie it on his own. He straightened back up satisfied with himself as Genma nodded in approval.

“Not bad, you learn quick.” Though it was difficult to tell when his face was always obscured, even they could see the way he preened at the praise. Kakashi moved to walk out the door and Genma didn’t grab him this time, he did however call one last thing to him though. “If you ever need help with something like that you can always ask me. I don’t mind, plus a shinobi should always know when to ask for help.” Asuma tried not to flinch at Genma’s pure audacity as Kakashi paused without looking back. Just when they thought he was going to ignore him completely he gave the tiniest nod. Kakashi bolted out the door and the three of them turned to the window to see him run to Sakumo who in turn lifted him onto his shoulders.

They sat in silence for several minutes, nobody daring to move, afraid they would shatter whatever twilight zone they’ve clearly found themselves in. “Well do you guys want to get food or what?” Kurenai and Asuma both jumped as Genma suddenly spoke and they turned to openly stare at him. “....What?”

“Dude! Are you insane?”

“How’d you do that?”

They both shouted at the same time as Genma tilted his head as though they were the weird ones. “What do you mean? He looked like he was having trouble so I helped him. It’s not a big deal.” He shrugged them off, shoving his hands in his pockets as he started walking towards the door. Asuma and Kurenai shared a look before quickly running after him.

“Not a big deal? Had either of us done that he would’ve threatened to stab us when our backs were turned.” Asuma argued as he and Kurenai moved to walk in step with Genma out of the academy. He leveled Asuma with a dry look as if calling him dramatic but he didn’t amend his words. He was speaking from experience, thank you very much. Kurenai was quick to agree, bobbing her head up and down.

“He’s right, I tried to help him grab a book off the top shelf once and he told me to watch myself during training.” She shuddered slightly at the clearly unpleasant memory as Genma shrugged.

“Maybe that’s because he knows you guys see him as a baby.” He offered and they both frowned at him.

“Yea, but you do too.” Asuma shot back and Genma stopped walking to smile at them. He hummed in what sounded suspiciously like amusement before he kept walking offering no further explanation.