Chapter Text
On the day Getou Suguru didn't come back from a mission, Gojo Satoru found himself emptying the contents of his stomach to the toilet. He called it his spider sense later on, his intuition already freaking out even before he got to know, what happened in the village Suguru was sent to. About the massacre, about the genocide.
At first it all felt like a goddamn joke.
Yaga brought news of Suguru's defection and Satoru felt his stomach doing somersaults again. His Suguru, the ever gentle, the ever patient Suguru, killing a whole village, murdering anyone who stood in his way. It sounded bizarre, impossible. Was this the same Suguru, who asked Gojo not to kill The Star Plasma Association?
There was no meaning to killing back then but it turned out Getou had a reason now. And Satoru had to live with the consequences of his decision.
Getou was declared traitor and Satoru knew that everyone expected him to go after his friend. To put up a fight, let his anger out and put Suguru in his rightful place. Six feet under, right where the traitors should be.
But all Gojo felt was fatigue.
Ever since Suguru left, the bed felt too big, too cold and Satoru could not find rest. His sleep schedule got fucked up, the nausea kept bugging him every morning and he had to stop counting the times he tripped right on his face, while running to the bathroom.
He deemed it all on stress and sudden loss, his life so abruptly being turned upside down, his body could not catch up.
But truth be told he was getting anxious about the whole ordeal. Something wasn't right, the symptoms, the deep exhaustion in his limbs, the morning sickness. Morning sickness.
It hit Satoru like a train.
What if… Oh God, what if…
Things were starting to add up in Gojo's head, equations lining up and showing Satoru a possibility. The one that might cause far greater damage to his life than Suguru's disappearance. He was pacing around his room, hands shaking and mind racing, the nausea waking back up, when Shoko knocked at his door.
She brought a massage from Suguru, an address where Satoru would be able to find him.
He set off not telling her anything, too scared he might actually spill his worries out and bring the doom sooner. So he arrived, pushing all the strange symptoms of his body to the back of his mind, letting himself be fully consumed by the thoughts of Suguru.
And of course, finally, by the sight of him too.
It was difficult to find joy in their meeting. Suguru's skin was pale, the bags under his eyes had turned purple and the way he talked to Satoru was cold, void of the affection they used to share. Satoru kept his head slightly bent, white fringe hiding the blue of his eyes so that Getou wouldn't realize there were tears clinging to his eyelashes.
It was soothing, nonetheless, to see him, to hear his voice, to witness his cursed energy flowing around his body.
"Don't go looking for me," Suguru said and then after a short breath he added: "Please."
It pained him too, the distance between them. It was never meant to end this way.
Their relationship never had a label. It just happened and they accepted it, made it everyone else's problem. A mission at the end of their first year in Jujutsu High was the turning point from just friends to something more.
It was winter already and the two of them were sent to get rid of a curse in the mountains. Third grade, no big deal, the only issue was that the curse was deep in the woods and the snow had already started falling. The exorcism was easy, went with no disruption but then Satoru lost track of how to get back to the town, where they were supposed to catch the train. They kept going down, bickering the whole time, accusing each other of getting lost. Then the sun set and a storm begun.
They raced down the hill blindly. Their clothes were wet, skin getting way too cold for it to be safe and they could hardly find their way anymore. Two aspiring sorcerers defeated by a blizzard. At last, they stumbled on a deserted wooden inn, where they made bonfire and shed some of their wet clothes.
But it was still too cold. Suguru kept looking through the cabin, while Satoru pushed his fingers to the fire, trying to warm his hands.
"We need to undress," Suguru instructed, coming back with a blanket he just found. Satoru did not oppose.
They left their clothes to dry by the fire as the two of the boys got under the blanket, naked, and tangled around each other. It was only natural, a need to survive. Satoru spent the whole night with his face in Suguru's neck and realized never before had he felt so safe.
It started then – shared beds, stolen kisses, wandering hands, morning cuddles, bitten thighs and cum dripping to the mattress. It was natural, just the way the world was supposed to be. Suguru and Satoru together, always by each other's side.
"I can't promise," Satoru confessed, back in Shinjuku. With the possibility of what might have been happening to Satoru, he could not lie to Suguru. If it was true, if Satoru truly was pregnant, then he would turn ever rock in Japan to find the other man, to at least keep him updated because there was no way Gojo could keep such information away from his beloved. "I miss you."
Suguru's face stayed blank but the sharp movement of his chest indicated the break up hurt him just as much. They stood unmoving, in the middle of the pavement, just looking at each other, sharing what little comfort their gaze could bring.
Right when Satoru was sure it was over, that Suguru would just turn around and leave for good, the black haired man cursed loudly and jogged up to Satoru. With no hesitation he enveloped his best friend in a hug, strong arms settling behind Satoru's back.
"I miss you too, sweetheart. Everyday. Every second."
Their embrace was bone-crushing, filled with everything they couldn't tell each other. As suddenly as it happened, it ended just as quickly. Before Satoru could manage to swallow the lump in his throat, Suguru was kissing his cheek and leaving. This time for good.
Satoru pushed down the unsaid I love you, take care of yourself, be careful, Suguru, I might be pregnant, pregnant with your baby, don't let the sorcerers catch you, be happy, be safe and went straight to the nearby KFC. The tears could wait, so could the pregnancy tests and the following panic attack. Right then Satoru needed to get his stomach full of unhealthy shit. Then he was going to let himself think, to let himself feel.
It didn't matter that he had to throw up the dinner once he was back in the dorm, didn't matter he almost freaked out and didn't buy the tests, didn't matter that Shoko and Yaga had probably heard him screaming his lungs out and crying on the bathroom floor. Six positive pregnancy tests laying all around him.
At nineteen Gojo Satoru had lost his best friend and lover, one of his kouhais was dead, the other one missing, and to top it all he was pregnant.
Great. Just great.
Nobody bothered Satoru for the next three days. Three days, that's as much grief as he was allowed. Then his time was up and Yaga approached him with another mission.
It was easy, with Satoru's powers and skill disposing of curses was no longer an issue. He managed to fulfill the mission without any mistakes. The only noticeable change was that he was much more tired than he used to be, as if reversed cursed technique did not properly work. It made sense, his body was constantly using energy to create another human being. It was a tiring job.
After the mission he was sitting in the kitchen, slowly sipping on a cup of tea and trying to focus on anything but the state of his body, when Shoko entered the room, a paper bag in her hand.
"Got some noodles on my way back, thought you'd be hungry," she placed the bag on the table and took out two plastic containers. "What you drinking?" she asked, when Satoru did not reply.
"Chamomile tea," he said and wearily opened the box with noodles. He was feeling nauseous since he came back from the mission, so he wasn't sure he could stomach dinner at the moment. Still he didn't want to upset Shoko or make her suspicious.
Gojo didn't tell anyone about the pregnancy. Not yet, he told himself. Suguru should know first but there was no way to tell him now. Shoko would be second but… how was Satoru supposed to tell her, to announce that his life from now on could take a much different path from what was anticipated.
"Chamomile?" she perked up, her round eyes blinking in disbelief. "Are you sick or something? Where's your daily doze of hot chocolate?"
"I'm just tired after the mission."
They turned on the tv and Shoko didn't pry. Soon Satoru deemed it safe to eat the meal and he was quite thankful for his friend's soothing presence. The reality show they were watching posed as a great distraction, something to take other matters off his mind.
For a second he almost felt like a regular young adult. Almost.
Then came the night, the cold sheets and too wide bed, the eerie silence and anxiety slowly settling in Gojo's bones.
He didn't know what to do, actually didn't want to do anything. As long as nobody else knew, he could pretend everything was just as it used to be. Except for Suguru not being by his side.
As long as he kept the secret, he could be himself – Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer in the generation. He feared the moment he'd be Gojo Satoru, the naive teenager, who got himself knocked up, or worse, Gojo Satoru, the one, who gave birth to a criminal's child.
His stomach twisted again. Another sleepless night.
Tangled in a blanket, hiding away in his room, somedays Gojo liked to indulge in his memories. There was a certain joy, a kind of small happiness, when he was trying to pinpoint the exact time he got pregnant.
When Satoru and Suguru first started having sex they used condoms, just because it was the easiest option. With time and one broken condom, while they were still seventeen, Satoru decided that it was high time for birth control. No more heart attacks. As long as Suguru stayed focused, he was the one to remind Satoru about taking the pills, but after Riko's death his mind had been elsewhere.
And so the consequences reached them.
Gojo must had gotten knocked up in the last month. Maybe it was the time Satoru stole Shoko's skirt and rode Suguru like there was no tomorrow. Maybe it was the morning, when Getou opened the windows to let the summer air in and made gentle love to Satoru. Maybe it was that day, when they fucked in the shower and Suguru slipped, while holding Gojo up.
Every memory, every moment they spent together was to be cherished.
Getou was a curse user now, a criminal, a traitor but to Satoru he would always be his best friend, greatest lover and soon the father of his child.
There were moments, when Satoru wondered, why he couldn't have gotten pregnant a month earlier. That could probably stop Suguru from leaving. Probably. Well, Satoru would never know. He was alone now, the responsibilities were his only, Suguru was free to go on his own and cause havoc wherever he wanted.
Satoru would never hate him though. Never.
And so days passed by, Satoru was sent to multiple missions and the nausea still tormented him. He kept quiet about his condition, didn't go to see a doctor for a check up and acted as if nothing happened. That way he could try and play pretend for a little bit longer that his life was perfectly fine. It worked, it worked and it worked, until the day it didn't.
When asked, or more specifically, when shouted at by Yaga, Satoru truthfully confessed that he had no idea how it happened. He was on yet another mission, once again nothing too challenging for him. He was to finish the curse off with Red, when the cursed energy inside his hands tripped. It was different from when he was still learning how to use the technique. This time it wasn't a matter of losing focus and not being able to concentrate the energy, this time it was all about sudden lost of control.
As if his own cursed energy refused to obey him.
The mishap unfortunately had its consequences. Red drifted off of Satoru's hand and straight into a nearby building. It was an office, so late at night nobody was there but the damage was done and Satoru had no idea how it happened.
He had an inclination but he would rather pay with his own money for the destruction than tell the higher ups the truth.
Yaga seemed to sense that, hence the lecturing in one of the classrooms with Satoru seated in a chair and Shoko standing by the window, calmly smoking a cigarette.
"If you think we're blind, then you're wrong, Satoru," Yaga pressed. "Is this about Suguru? Do you miss him that much?"
Oh, well, it was another matter. Of course he did, with every cell in his body he longed for Suguru, for his embrace, the sight of his cursed energy, the taste of his lips. But most importantly Satoru missed his companion, his one and only partner in whom he could confine. He desperately wanted to tell Suguru the truth, to have him comfort him and find a solution to the problem. He was always good with that.
But Suguru was gone.
"That's not it, I'm just not feeling well. Maybe it's a flu."
"A flu that your reversed cursed technique can't take care of? Bullshit. You tell me the truth now or next time I'm leaving you alone to justify yourself in front of the higher ups," Yaga's brows furrowed over his glasses, hands firmly set over the table by which Satoru was sitting.
Shoko kept quiet, a steady presence at the back of the room. She wasn't one to pry into someone else's privacy, hardly ever pushed Satoru to say something he wasn't comfortable with, but this time whenever Satoru caught her watchful eyes, he was sure her patience was also running thin.
"It's nothing," he tried one more time but his answer only fueled Yaga's anger.
"You've made your choice. Let's see how you handle the situation on your own."
Yaga couldn't know that his words pressed on the most fragile of Satoru's worries. He couldn't know. However, his words and sudden decision to leave Satoru alone with whatever he was dealing, opened a well inside Gojo that he did not know was even there.
"Fuck you!" Satoru raised his voice and in the process of the unexpected burst of emotions let his hand slam into the table, breaking it in half. Just as suddenly the anger came, it left just as quickly. "No, no, no. It's– just– I'm… Stay, please, stay."
Shoko finished her cigarette and came closer to stand right beside Yaga, watching, witnessing as Satoru was about to fall apart.
There was no better moment for his bladder to remind him about itself. Another wonderful aspect of his current situation. The abrupt need to pee was something new, started happening just a few day before. It wasn't as bad as the nausea but as soon as Satoru felt his bladder getting full he had to make an immediate trip to the bathroom. Holding it in was not an option.
"Um… I'll be back in a second, just need to go to the toilet," he stood up and tried to pass his teacher but Yaga was quick to grab Satoru by the arm. Once again Gojo felt betrayed by his own body because he was sure he left Infinity on. Sure, almost sure.
"You're not running away, Satoru. First you gotta explain yourself."
"Let me go," Satoru tried to pry Yaga's hand away but to no avail. "I'm gonna fucking pee myself. I'll be back in a minute to tell you everything. I promise."
"You can tell us, Gojo," Shoko suddenly joined in and Satoru felt tears of frustration gathering in hie eyes.
"Please, let me go."
It was probably the way he asked, the way his voice might have sounded a bit wet, a bit tired, that Yaga let go of his arm and let Satoru run out of the classroom. That was the end of keeping secrets.
The final piss before the storm.
Once he was back in the classroom, he instructed Shoko and Yaga to sit down, while he himself took a seat on one of the tables facing them. There was no hiding it anymore, no oblivious bliss, no more avoiding the reality.
Right before he confessed a smile started tugging at the corners of his lips. He hadn't said it out lout yet, not even in the confines of his bedroom. It had always been in his head and in his head alone. So when he looked at his friend and teacher, he unexpectedly found himself smiling.
Ever since he made the tests he was scared, scared to become a parent at such a young age, scared to be Gojo Satoru, a sorcerer and a parent, scared to do this without Suguru. However, not even once had he resented the thought of being pregnant, not even when he threw up his favourite kikufuku.
For the first time he let himself realize that he was happy.
"I'm pregnant."
That was it, the whole truth.
As expected his companions did not look happy or relieved, nothing of the sort. Shoko's eyes opened slightly wider at Satoru's words, while Yaga took off his glasses to rub at his face in what Satoru guessed was annoyance.
"Does Getou know?" Shoko asked finally and Satoru was thankful she had enough decency to not ask about the father of the child, that it was obvious it would be Suguru. Always Suguru.
"No, I had no way to tell him," To relieve some of the stress gathering in his body, Satoru started swinging his legs slightly, which only caused Yaga to groan out loud. He looked very much done with his life. "But I will. He deserves to know."
"Satoru," Yaga finally seemed to find words in his mouth and looked straight at the boy. "Do you understand the situation you're in?"
Satoru could only roll his eyes, the small smile never leaving his lips.
"I'm already throwing up twice a day and to top it all soon i'm going to look like a damn submarine. I am well aware."
"No," Yaga stood up and placed a hand on Gojo's shoulder. "Do you understand what is going to happened to the Jujutsu world, when they know you're pregnant? Have you thought about it, kid?"
To say the truth, Satoru tried not to. He didn't want to face any scenarios about curse users trying to get advantage of him, of people hunting for his child, of his own family knowing. Suguru's absence and Satoru's young age were enough of an anxiety supplier.
As if sensing Satoru's confusion, Shoko came closer and started describing the changes in sorcerer's body over the pregnancy, something Satoru was of course quite unaware. Most part of his body's energy as well as his cursed energy would be focused on growing the baby, hence the sudden lack of control over techniques. With powers so strong as Satoru's, at some point he would be probably advised to stop using any of his techniques till the end of pregnancy. Where Satoru though Infinity would keep the baby safe, it turned out the barier he created over his body could start acting on its own and potentially disrupt the baby's growth, even cause them harm.
The more Satoru listened, the quicker his smile faded.
"So what," he started when Shoko was finally done explaining. "You're trying to tell me it'd be best if I got rid of it?" He felt his bottom lip shaking, sunglasses sliding down the bridge of his nose, bright blue eyes shining.
"No," To his surprise Yaga shook his head and squeezed Satoru's shoulder reassuringly. Even Shoko looked a bit baffled. She'd probably advise Satoru to make an abortion, while there was still time. "I want you to be prepared. This is going to be the most challenging mission you were ever given."
"Or you could– " Shoko tried to interfere but before she could finish the sentence the door to the classroom was pushed open. There stood a small cursed corpse with a diaper on and a pacifier in their mouth. Upon their arrival Yaga quickly stepped back and reached the baby as quickly as possible.
"Panda, what are you doing here?"
Satoru forgot he could have an ally in Yaga, as he too was in a way a parent.
A parent. The word still felt so foreign to Satoru. He would have to work hard, so that the true meaning of this word, of this position, would be fulfilled. He would not be his own parents, would not drag this child through Hell, the same one he had to go through.
As long as he kept the Gojo clan away, they would be fine.
When Yaga mentioned other sorcerers trying to take advantage of Satoru, the boy wasn't that scared. The thought was always neutral in his mind. But whenever he imagined his own clan getting to know the truth, his stomach twisted in fear.
He still had time though. As long as he wasn't showing it was safe to go outside, to walk the streets and pretend that everything was alright.
The first step was already taken. Shoko and Yaga knew, they accepted and promised to help, promised to protect him. As long as Satoru could freely walk outside, as long as he was able to hide his growing stomach, he had to set off on yet another journey.
To find Suguru.
Even though Satoru knew Suguru like the back of his hand, finding him posed to be a difficult task. Not impossible but certainly more difficult than Satoru had anticipated.
Getou worked very hard to cover all of his traces, making it impossible to be found by regular sorcerers, hiding even from the Six Eyes. It frustrated Gojo to no end, all of his research always concluded with a failure. But there was still time and hope.
In the very worst scenario, in which Satoru would not find Suguru to tell him the truth, there was always the possibility of waiting. The word of him being pregnant would spread, sooner or later it was bound to happen and once Getou would be reached by the news he would come on his own. Of that Satoru was sure.
Soon after Satoru confessed the truth, Shoko took him to a hospital for a check up. All the tests went well, it turned out Satoru had been pregnant for seven weeks, the baby (or more likely the little alien) was developing well, Satoru was also healthy, though he was advised to watch his diet and make sure he started gaining weight soon.
"You're very thin," the doctor said, a warm smile on her face. "You're going to start showing quickly."
Well, fuck. Satoru was going to have to start wearing baggy clothes. R.I.P. to his favourite skinny jeans and tight t-shirts. He needed to go shopping soon, maybe next week he could drag Shoko with him to the mall.
"What are you going to do once everyone knows?" Shoko asked as they took a walk after the appointment. Satoru was craving a bowl of steaming udon and so they were on a hunt for a good looking place.
"I'm not sure," Satoru said truthfully. "Actually that's the reason, why I need to find Suguru. If people are going to try to hunt me and I wouldn't be able to defend myself, then I need someone who's as equally strong as me."
"They're going to call you a traitor, an accomplice, you know that?"
Satoru spotted a cozy looking restaurant and held the door open for Shoko, so that she could enter first. Once seated, Satoru took off his sunglasses and looked Shoko in the eyes.
"I know, trust me I know, but I promised myself one thing," He reached down to the pocket of his pants and took out the ultrasound picture. He didn't see shit on it but he believed it was a proof of the being living inside his body. "The baby comes first, not the politics."
"Seems like a good plan."
Belly full and mind temporarily calm, Satoru and Shoko were about to go back to Jujutsu High, when a Buddhist monk passed them by. Nothing strange, nothing extraordinary. Satoru though he already looked in all the places that were meaningful to Suguru – in the woods behind the school, in their favourite arcade, in all the internet café they used to go to, in the fancy hotel they once booked to have sex with a full view of Tokyo, in Suguru's hometown, by Haibara's grave.
If Suguru needed shelter, as well as an unexpected place to hide, he could have been in one of the temples. Hopefully still in Tokyo but if Satoru were to search through every temple in the Japan, then so be it.
For a long time, it was a fruitless journey. Yaga stopped giving Satoru missions, making up a lie about some new special training that the boy was undergoing, which left him with quite a lot of time to try and look for his missing friend, missing half.
However, the pregnancy was not an ally in the task. The morning sickness clung to him like a parasite, his bladder suddenly started producing thrice as much pee as it used to and to top it all he needed at least two naps throughout the day. So it wasn't easy, if he didn't want to overexercise his body. However, the pregnancy couldn't stop his search, couldn't keep him in place.
Satoru found Suguru when he could still hide his growing belly. He visited almost every temple in Tokyo and while he was almost ready to give up on the idea that Getou was still in the city, Satoru still promised himself that he'd look everywhere. There wasn't anything special about this temple, it wasn't hidden away from the local people and occasional tourists, it wasn't particularly deserted, as Suguru would probably prefer. Maybe that was the point, it seemed a little bit too obvious.
But once Satoru was in, he was immediately welcomed by the faint scent of Suguru's cursed energy. Any other sorcerer would believe it was just a curse but Gojo knew better, was accustomed to Suguru's scent all too well.
At the back of the temple he found another building, most probably a place where the monks lived and their guests could rest. Gojo followed the scent, Six Eyes catching up on the residues of cursed energy that clung to the ground. He was so close, almost there. His heartbeat quickened, hands anxiously clenching and unclenching, the thrill of seeing Suguru right under his skin, the fear of telling him the truth settling deep inside his stomach.
A knock to the door.
"Just a minute," came Suguru's voice from the inside, followed by some shuffling and loud footsteps. Getou was hiding something and it sure as hell wasn't dirty laundry – Satoru had seen too many used boxers to be grossed out by them. They used to share almost every secret, even the dirty ones, now they're back to hiding.
Hopefully not for long.
When Suguru opened the door, it suddenly struck Satoru just how much he had missed his best friend, how lonely he had been in the past month. The heat inside his belly told him to reach out and pull Suguru in, to let the anxiety sooth with the warmth of his body. Oh the hormones, Satoru thought as he swallowed down the need to embrace Getou.
"Hi."
Suguru's face was schooled into indifference, a thousand walls hoisted up around his heart to keep him away from more heartbreak, more emotional torment. He looked even more tired than he used to the last time they saw each other. His skin was pale, hair tied into a messy bun at the back of his head, dark bags complementing his onyx eyes.
"You shouldn't be here," Suguru said instead of a greeting and for a second Satoru wanted to turn around to flee. His current emotional sensitivity wasn't an ally in situations, when he needed to keep his cool.
"Tell me something I don't know," Satoru took his sunglasses off and offered his bare blue eyes to the only person that could ever truly hurt him. People usually were disturbed by the sight of the ocean eyes, their power overwhelming them, scaring them away but never Suguru. Suguru knew that Satoru offering himself with no barrier was a type of olive branch, a plea for a talk.
They didn't need words to communicate their worries, all the possible repercussions of this meeting, the way it could bring doom to both of them. They looked into each other's eyes, blue meeting black, and they knew, everything went unsaid, except for one last detail.
"I– " Satoru tried to start but found himself speechless. Do it, tell him. "I'm here because–"
"Satoru." A warning.
"There is something I need to–"
Right when Satoru was sure he could say it, his stomach rumbled loud enough for Suguru to hear it. It's been sometime since Satoru had his breakfast, hardly kept it in his stomach and his body had to remind him about its next rightful meal at that exact moment. Nothing was going right. But to Gojo's surprise, Suguru's face suddenly softened, the walls around him lowering, the black of his eyes opening in front of Satoru. He had always been a mother hen, the one to take care of others. Used to be. Satoru swallowed the lump creating in his throat.
"You haven't eaten," A statement, not a question. "Come in, I'll get you something."
And that's how Gojo found himself sitting on the futon inside the room, where Suguru lived, surrounded with his best friend's scent, waiting for him to grab something to eat. Just like that. All he needed was for Getou to worry about him, a confirmation that he still cared, and when he got it it made his insides warm. Satoru unconsciously put a hand on his lower stomach.
Suguru still cared.
Gojo was so distracted by Getou's action (and his hormones), so taken aback that he did not notice not one but two addition presences, energy of two sorcerers hiding right beside him. Only when the bathroom door creaked and two sets of eyes blinked at Satoru, did the white haired boy notice he was not alone.
There was a moment of silence until one of the creatures junked the door open, chest puffed in bravado and head held high. As high as a girl of four could be. She had blonde hair and eyes that screamed trouble from afar. She wielded a toilet brush as her weapon, its dirty end pointed at Satoru.
"Are you here to hurt Getou-sama?"
As if on instinct Satoru held his hands up, a gesture of peace, that he meant no harm. The girl did not seem to buy it.
"Nanako, we were supposed to stay quiet," said the other girl. They looked almost the same, small eyes, round cheeks, tight lips. What differed them was the hair color, while the fierce one had blonde hair, the more reserved one had black.
As much as Gojo hated himself for it, his very first though was that Suguru was cheating on him. The heat inside his belly died out giving up space to anger, to disappointment. It was not the girls' fault, there was no reason to blame them but what if Suguru did not leave because of the faith he lost? What if he left because he found someone better, someone who already gave him children.
"Are you crying?" the blonde one asked, her face twisted into disbelief. She probably thought Satoru was scared of her. Well, to a point he was.
Suguru came back the exact moment Satoru managed to wipe away the sudden tears in his eyes. Of course there was no fooling him, no way to hide the remnants of watery crystals that still clung to his eyelashes. He stood in the doorway with a tray full of food, his gaze going back and forth from the girls to Satoru.
"Oh damn it," he cursed under his breath and stepped inside to put the tray on the table. The food wasn't anything extravagant but it looked homemade and cozy, Satoru's stomach rumbled again. "Put the brush down and go wash your hands," Getou told the girl and to Satoru's disbelief she actually listened to him. Once the girls were back, they both sat in front of Satoru, while Suguru took a place right next to him.
Satoru was about to ask, probably in the most disrespectful of ways. Was about to accuse Suguru of infidelity and turn his back on him, to never talk to the man again. But it was Getou Suguru, so he guessed the course of Gojo's thoughts before Satoru could open up his mouth.
"Mimiko and Nanako," Getou said pointing to the girls. "These are the girls I found on the last mission I was send to. They were my target. Girls, this is Gojo Satoru, my best friend. You can trust him with your life."
So many things happen in the few sentences Suguru said that Satoru had to take a deep breath to prevent another waterfall from coming out of his eyes. It all made sense now, Suguru was sent to kill curse users but he found these two little girls. Now Satoru could never hate him, never curse him out for leaving.
And to think that he still trusted Satoru.
Gojo greeted the girls and dug into his meal.
Getou was taking care of the twins, he was feeding them, giving them shelter, raising them. The more Satoru watched them, the more proud he felt. Suguru helped the girls with their meals, wiped their faces with a napkin and ruffled their hair, when they were done. He let them bring their favourite toys to Satoru, a peace offering, a possibility of truce, then watched with a warm smile as Mimiko sat in Gojo's lap and Nanako played with his white hair.
Satoru was so taken aback he hardly talked. For the first time in his life, he found himself speechless.
And so he decided to keep quiet.
He bathed in the warmth on Suguru's gaze, in the knowledge that the other man was as desperate to spend time with him as he was. Getou could have kicked him out, could have never opened the door to Satoru. The girls were bound to come out of the bathroom sooner or later. He foresaw the possibility of the twins meeting Gojo.
And he still let them.
When the girls cuddled up for a nap, Satoru took it as his cue to leave. He took Suguru by the hand and pulled him towards the doorway, a narrow place secluded from the rest of the room.
"I will not tell anybody," Satoru promised and placed his hands on Suguru's neck, making the man cage him between the door. "I won't let anyone harm them."
Suguru pressed their foreheads together, hands sneaking to Satoru's hips. They acted like magnets, always drawn to each other, even when the conditions were everything but favourable.
"Thank you," He pressed a kiss to Satoru nose, then brushed their lips together. "Though, I told you not to look for me."
The truth was at the tip of Satoru's tongue, his throat burning with the need to let the words out, to tell Suguru, to have him take care of Satoru when he needed him the most.
But Gojo Satoru was the strongest sorcerer alive and for now he could perfectly take care of himself, while some, like the twins, needed protection. Mimiko and Nanako needed Suguru's help, needed him in their lives to stay alive. Satoru could survive a little bit longer without Getou, while the girls needed him now.
"I'm known to be quite a nuisance," Satoru whispered, then kissed Suguru on the lips.
"Why did you come?" Getou asked and the answer almost slipped out of Satoru's mouth. Almost.
"To tell you that I love you," he said instead, all coy and mirth, distraction from reality.
He would tell Suguru, just not today.
At week eleven Satoru put away his favourite pairs of skinny tight jeans and started wearing cozy cotton pants and joggers. He strolled through the corridors of Jujutsu High in loose t-shirts, it was safe there, but whenever he went outside, out in the open, he always opted for a sweater or a hoodie to hide the growing bump and his rounding hips.
At week eleven Satoru for the first time felt like he was being watched. It happened while was strolling the streets of Tokyo, pretending to have a destination, when in reality he was just bored of staying in the dorms for too long. Six Eyes could not detect the danger. The heightened sensitivity to potential attack had been something the sorcerers picked up with training and due to Satoru's special treatment in the Gojo clan's estate he had always been hyperaware of his surroundings.
He was sure someone was following him. However, Six Eyes did not detect any additional cursed energy, so the person either did non posses it (like the Fushiguro Toji nightmare) or simply knew how to hide from Gojo's technique.
Or the pregnancy was fucking with his brain.
He made sure Infinity was intact, focused his attention on keeping it on, so that he would be safe. Shoko told him it still wasn't dangerous to use it, though it was bound to change soon. The feeling was so foreign to him. Not once before had he feared injury, feared a fight, and he still did not, he was still the strongest but Gojo knew his revered cursed technique was sometimes acting weirdly and if anything happened to him, then he wouldn't be the only one injured. There was someone worth protecting, a being he did not know yet but was well aware of their presence.
Gojo could not risk the baby's life, he still didn't tell Suguru the truth.
He could try to walk away, pretend he didn't notice anything. He could muster all his cursed energy and try to confront the danger, whatever or whoever it was. But deep inside his bones Gojo knew it was best to get back to school as quickly as possibly.
So teleportation it was.
It had been a few weeks since Satoru last teleported himself using Infinity but he did not fear. Even when his energy wasn't very stable and his body started gaining additional weight, he trusted his technique. He had always excelled at it, been a natural from the start.
Gojo stepped into a narrow street, hid himself in the shadow and warped. It went perfectly, smoothly, his body making it in one piece to the jard right before the dorms. He exhaled deeply, feeling proud, proving to himself that he was still Gojo Satoru, even though he was pregnant.
And then he doubled over and vomited lunch right before his feet.
Getou Suguru did not stray too far away from the city. He changed the places of his stay, found himself few hideouts and got rid of every evidence of his presence but he still didn't leave far away enough for Satoru to not be able to find him.
Satoru clung to that knowledge, hoped it meant something, anything.
Before Satoru hit week thirteen, he managed to find Suguru twice. One day he found his friend and the twins in a shrine near the see, gifted them with a package of fresh mochi and spent the evening with them, watching the waves crush on the shore.
He was almost ready to spill it out then, to tell Suguru the truth and take this awful weight of lies off his chest. He grabbed Getou's hand, was about to guided it to his stomach, when he noticed the sleeve of Suguru's shirt was dirty. Stained with blood. Gojo looked at the hand he was holding.
A hand of a killer.
It didn't disgust him, Suguru could never cause such an emotion to bubble up inside him, but he stopped in his track, gave everything a thought again. How was he supposed to make a family with Suguru, when he was a wanted man?
In the end, he stayed quiet again.
Another time Satoru found Suguru near one of Tokyo's orphanages, black hair matted with sweat and bangs clinging to his forehead. Getou had been on a hunt for new curses to ingest, for strength he decided to bare, for believes in a better world. Gojo almost teared up upon finding him, helping him to stand upright and to calm his breathing. That night Satoru caressed Suguru's hair and kissed him all over his face, trying his best not to hug the other man, not to touch him with his protruding belly.
That night he also did not tell Suguru the truth.
Then week thirteen came and Satoru knew there was no hiding his belly anymore. The next time he was going to bump into a curse user or a new sorcerer, they would instantly know he got knocked up. No more hiding, no more secrets.
So in order to prevent Getou from learning the truth from somebody else, Gojo set on his last journey to find his partner.
This time Satoru found him in a hotel room. The twins were not around but Suguru did not plan on telling him their whereabouts. No matter where they were, they must had been safe, either way Suguru would not be there, the corner of his lips tugging upwards at the sight of the white haired man.
Satoru wore the biggest sweater he owned, something that made him look like he didn't change from his pajamas but he didn't care. With a little help from his hands, tugging at the ends of the sweater and keeping his body a bit hunched, Gojo was sure his belly was not visible. Although it was only a matter of time.
"I told you to stop looking for me," Suguru said, no malice or force in his voice. Only softness, only mellow fondness. "You're going to get in trouble," Getou looked at him with passion he hadn't allowed himself since he left and Satoru was ready to fall to his lap, to worship Getou like the God he was supposed to be.
"Does it mean you care about my well-being, Mr. Criminal?"
Suguru stepped closer, rounded Gojo as if he were a prey, then pressed his chest to Satoru's back, breath fanning over Gojo's neck. Satoru's last braincell begged him to stay still, while his hormones wanted Suguru all over his body. Especially his breasts that had become tender and a bit swollen at times, fragile to a touch and extremely sensitive to any sexual gesture. Just two nights before Satoru found himself rubbing his nipples and humping a pillow, coming with a cry because Suguru's hands would feels so good on his changing body.
The chance was there. Getou moved his arm to the front of Satoru's body and tried to pull their bodies closer but his hand never touched the other man. Infinity flared between them like raging fire, shielding Satoru away from the only person he ever loved. Suguru pulled away instantly, burned, hurt.
"I believe it was bound to happen sooner or later," he said, pain searing in his voice. "All this time we've known each other you never used Infinity against me," Suguru sat on the bed, head hung low, black hair spilling in cascades over his shoulders. "But you have a reason to be scared now, don't you? I'm a killer, Satoru, you should get out of here."
The self-hatred thickened the air between them, sorrow and disgust seeping out of Suguru's pores, making it hard for Satoru to breathe. He hated every second of this, every moment of seeing Suguru hate himself with such fervour, one wrong move could trip him over the edge. Getou Suguru was a lost man, a curse user, a killer of his own parents. There was no salvation for the damned like him, no point of return, no way to save him.
That night Gojo should have walked out the door to leave the man alone to rot. Getou chose that path for himself.
Instead Satoru came closer to envelope the face of his beloved with his hands, caressing the tender skin under his eyes, wiping away the tears of hatred. Suguru did not move to push Gojo away, nor did he try to pull him closer. He stayed unmoving, black orbs gazing into blue, as if they were ready for a final goodbye. Satoru bent down and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
"You have to listen to me–"
"Go, Satoru. Leave now."
"Suguru."
"Please, get away from me."
More tears, fists clenched and nails breaking skin. Blood spilled over a broken heart.
With one last kiss to Suguru's nose, Satoru straightened up, standing at his full height, chest puffed out, shoulder blades tucked in, belly sticking out. Suguru started blinking through the wetness in his eyes, mind still not comprehending what was happening before him. No more lies, no more secrets. Criminal or not, Getou deserved to know the truth.
Satoru held the bottom of the sweater in his hands, breath getting lost in his lungs. No turning back, no more running away. He pulled the material up revealing his swollen baby bump, pale skin stretching over slowly accommodating fat that had never been there before. Gojo found himself radiating with the same kind of joy as when he told Shoko and Yaga. He was scared to death but at the same time so, oh, so happy to finally let Suguru know, to finally share the news with him that no matter if this pregnancy brought the end of the world, the two of them were about to have a baby. Nothing was about to change that.
Suguru's eyes were glued to Satoru's belly, mouth hanging slightly open. When he wearily reached out, Satoru encouraged him and let him place both of his warm hands on the expanse of the growing belly. The small cuts on Getou's palms dirtying Satoru's skin with crimson. The pain gave place to awe, hate to sudden burst of affection.
"Getou Suguru, you're going to be a father."
While Suguru processed the information, still staring at the belly in front of his eyes, Satoru let him in on everything that he missed. He told Suguru about the tests he made in the bathroom right after their meeting in Shinjuku, about his awful morning sickness, about his messed up mission and how he told Shoko and Yaga the truth. He let Suguru know the pregnancy effected the flow of his cursed energy, especially reversed cursed technique, but also resulted in Infinity acting on its own. Just how it manifested mare minutes ago without Satoru's consent.
Then Gojo pulled Suguru to lay with him on the bed and took out the ultrasound picture, showed him the darkness he could hardly understand. This is our baby, he said, voice hushed as if he were whispering a secret. Suguru kept quiet for a long time, as they laid in the middle of the bed, his hands stil caressing Satoru's tummy. Gojo did not push, did not press, he let the other man take his time, digest the information.
And when he did, Getou started asking questions. How Satoru felt, did he need anything, how did he feel about being pregnant, what was most difficult so far. He was so curious, so attentive, if Satoru gave him a notebook he would surely start taking notes. And Satoru himself was not a pro, he just went through the symptoms, trying not to freak out, making sure he kept the baby safe.
The night settled in and knowing there was no risk in hugging Suguru anymore, Satoru pressed himself close to the man, face tucked into his neck and soft belly resting over Suguru's flat one. He felt safe again, right where he was meant to be.
"Will you help me, when I'm all big as a fucking submarine and not able to use jujutsu?" Satoru asked, still plastered to Suguru's body.
"I won't let anyone hurt you," Suguru hugged him closer, his cursed energy already enveloping the both of them. "Never," he pressed his lips to the top of Satoru's head, then suddenly trembled in the white haired man's hold. "You shouldn't be seeing me. I'm a wanted man."
"We'll figure it out."
"Satoru, I can't undo what's already been done."
"Yeah I know, we'll figure that out too."
"I don't deserve you," Suguru whispered, words still full of pain but his tone was lighter, more hopeful, scared but ready for something new. "You, both of you, are the best two things that ever happened to me."
If Satoru cried a little then, they didn't talk about it. He listened to the beating of Suguru's heart, inhaled the scent of his body, bathed in his natural warmth. The comfort of Getou's body lulled him to sleep, one that was void of dreams – good or bad – a peaceful rest after many stressful weeks.
When he woke up in the middle of the night, nothing seemed to change, except for the slowly darkening bags under Suguru's eyes. The black haired man held him close, eyes almost unblinking, looking from Satoru's face to his belly.
"You should get some sleep," Gojo said upon opening his eyes, blue looking into black for a piece of their mind. When he got none, Satoru heaved an exasperated sigh and nudged Getou with his forehead. "What are you thinking about?"
Suguru's silence should had been a warning but Satoru still found himself surprised by the person that used to be his moral compass. Used to.
"I will kill anyone who tries to hurt you," Suguru said in all seriousness, not an ounce of joke inside his voice.
"Charming," Satoru purred, hiding himself in Suguru's neck.
Gojo Satoru would have to live with the fact that the father of his child was a criminal, a person that used to help the weaker ones but lost faith in his actions, turned towards genocide because it seemed more effective. He would figure that out too.
"Sweetheart."
"Don't use that voice on me," Satoru answered from where he was still pressed to Suguru's collar, bones protruding from the skin. "I know what you're doing. You went through every possible scenario in your head and you didn't find one, which ends up with us being together and me not being exiled too. I know you," And just to test the waters, to distract his best friend, Satoru planted a quick kiss to his chin. "Papa."
It was scary, how well they knew each other, how they knew exactly which button to press for the other to melt immediately. Suguru's slowly raising rage subdued giving place to a shy chuckle. They should focus on the baby first, the world would came later.
"I wanna watch you sleep, just a little while longer," Suguru said and kissed the top of Gojo's head.
Satoru fell in and out of sleep, the pregnancy demanding rest even when losing his precious time with Suguru felt like the worst thing that could happen to him. Getou did not rest, spent the whole night watching Satoru, rubbing soothing circles to his back and belly. Satoru felt him letting out curses to guard the place, to make sure that no one would dare come close enough to the person carrying Getou's child.
It was as lovely, as it was terrifying.
Right before the dawn, Satoru lazily shimmied out of his clothes and pulled Suguru on top of himself. There was no telling what their life would look like once the sun came up, it was best to take advantage of the peace and quiet that they found themselves in.
Getou fucked him slow, hands roaming Satoru's body, fingers digging into his thighs and hips that started accumulating a bit of additional fat. His lips traced the path they learned in the past few years, going up and down the column of Gojo's neck, sucking harsher on his collarbones. Once he bent enough to reach Satoru's nipples, it was as if he made a major discovery in his life, looking in awe as Satoru trembled from the barest touch.
"Do they leak sometimes?" Suguru asked, mouth once again finding its way to Satoru's nipple, his cock throbbing inside Gojo. Right then Satoru knew the baby would have competition for his breasts.
"N-No," Satoru moaned, trying to catch his breath. "Not yet."
Suguru hummed around the nub, then pressed his hips deeper, making Satoru's insides twitch with anticipation and excitement. It felt right to be in Suguru's arms, to have him so close, all around him, all inside him. Satoru never had a different partner before Suguru and he hoped he wouldn't have one after, that forever it'd always be Suguru. Just Suguru.
Sunrise found them laying in the dirty sheets, Getou enveloping Satoru from behind, his right hand plastered to Gojo's lower belly. His breathing started to even out, gently fanning over Satoru's neck. Suguru tended to get sleepy after sex, almost always needing a nap after, just to gather strength again. Right when Satoru though he was already out and asleep, the man pressed his nose into Satoru's hair and inhaled deeply.
What a stubborn man.
"What do you want them to be like?" Suguru asked, his voice drifting between sleep and reality. "The baby, I mean."
"I don't have expectations. They can be whoever they want to be," Satoru said truthfully. "I just hope they don't have my eyes."
Satoru had never been vocal about his family, had always kept the topic at arms length. It was untouchable, just like the family itself. Suguru knew just torn pieces of the story because Satoru was never ready to spill the truth, to bring back the memories of his childhood. However, his new conditions might make him share a part of the secret because as much as other sorcerers and curse users posed a threat to Satoru and his baby, he knew the most dangerous of them all was the Gojo clan itself.