Comment on trying to get to heaven (but not today)

  1. Khashana Wed 23 Aug 2017 02:48PM UTC

    Your Twitter is killing me
    @kvpurrson90 (11/27/16 12:53 pm): @omgcheckplease @troyj14 If UR not responsible 4 my actions & IM not responsible 4 my actions, whats stopping me from baking & eating 7 of these
    (ahh, ace Bitty! lol. asexual. as opposed to LV aces KP and JT why is there not a joke about that)
    @tseguinofficial (12/22/16 3:35 pm): [a picture of Tyler Seguin glaring tiredly at the camera, holding an Aces snapback that looks eerily similar to the one from Kent Parson’s ESPN body issue three years prior. Parse has signed it in gold Sharpie] @kvpurrson90 thinks he’s funny
    (I think he's funny)
    @doctornurse (12/31/16 9:37 pm): [A slightly blurry cellphone photo of Kent Parson crouched down and glaring into an oven. He is covered in flour.] When an NHL star shows up at your party…and loses a fight with a soufflé? [blushing emoji] @kvpurrson90 @omgcheckplease
    “I dunno what fucking parallel universe I’ve stumbled into, my dudes, but I love it. I’m not even high yet, man!”
    @omgcheckplease (5/17/17 1:34 pm): Decorating an actual apartment is a really weird experience because traditionally my standards have been very low.
    @omgcheckplease (5/17/17 1:35 pm): @omgcheckplease 1) Curtains that exist in the physical realm 2) A couch that doesn’t have rabies
    @doctornurse (5/22/17 9:57 pm): @omgcheckplease Just threw a handful of popcorn @ the screen and called @kvpurrson90 a “beautiful motherfucker” and I need that on record
    There are so many ways to be on his knees.
    (This is such a beautiful line? Like this is poetry, right here.)
    @troyj14 (5/29/17 10:43 am): @omgcheckplease @kvpurrson90 I once watched Parse dip a pancake in his protein shake. You can keep him.
    Bitty (2:37 pm): My job starts in two days and Kent is sitting on my couch eating cheerios in his underwear because “they taste better that way”
    Jeff Troy (2:39 pm): Are you complaining or bragging
    Bitty (2:40 pm): Little of both

    The progression of events was so natural? Like it rarely feels that smooth. So good. I read this all in one sitting and I'm supposed to be getting ready to drive an hour to go sign my getting-a-job paperwork.

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    1. SummerFrost Fri 01 Sep 2017 01:34AM UTC

      Thanks so much!! Haha the Twitter was so fun to play with so I'm glad you enjoyed <33

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