The rest of the scene is really harsh, both got what happens and for how you described it. Every comment is shoot out quickly and there's the space just to catch a glimpse of Zim's feelings and reactions before the next comes in. I could perfectly picture him struggling, attacked by all sides. The mocking and the taunting of the other Invaders, the Tallest complete indifference and his own equipment which literally exploded in his face. We see once again the Irkens' fully open cruelty, the same one with which they had spoken behind his back. Zim looked and felt so lost in this scene, but, at the same time, it's also somehow clear that this is just the beginning. The humiliation and the tormenting before the real punishment. The last paragraph, with him left alone, standing in the now empty room, abandoned there, really reflects what has to be his state of mind. I really loved the picture that both things draws, both of Zim and of his surroundings.
Back to Dib again. This switching between characters is pretty nice, because it offers us the chance to see the same scene from different points of views and it also brings on the story on two parallel plots. Not to mention that they are good to create anticipation in the reader, because he hasn't told what happens next immediately. What I really liked in this part is how Dib goes from finding Zim's performance dumb to wonder why exactly he's there if his people clearly dislike him to the parallels between the two of them. I think that, if there's something that Dib would never do and would never want to do, it would be empathising with Zim. They are supposed to be enemies and the Irken is a threat to all humanity, so Dib would want to keep the lines clear between them as much as possible. He would never choose to try and see his point of view willingly. You walked greatly around this and in fact here he finds himself doing it involuntary, through the similarity of his experiences with Zim's situation. Before he knows it, he has realised that there's much more to Zim than what the alien lets out to see. There's a vulnerable side, one that isn't confident and apparently he's just as much as an outcast as he is. I loved how the realisation changed his whole demeanour, enough to get on Gaz's nerves, apparently. It had to have been super evident, because, as you specified, she prefers not taking at all, nowadays. This is a very important step because it would influence Dib's decision about what to do with the info he's about to eavesdrop. And it could also be very important for his future relations with Zim. This could go in a lot of ways (just as you said about my story) and I can picture a lot of sceneries here, also because you didn't say much about how close Zim and Dib will get, if they will become actually friends or if they'll stop to more or less bearing each other peacefully. I'm really curious to see where this will go in your version of the facts!
The next scene echoes both the deep thoughtfulness of Dib's scene and of how Zim's previous one had ended. Something of the events that had taken place before his eyes, it's suddenly starting to sink into Zim and, while he's still in denial as you specified, he can't deny that all his emotions and the stress have drained him. To the point that he almost feels like he's starting to see things because of his paranoia. But that shadow was suspicious indeed. So, maybe, Zim might have been right about being concerned by it, after all. Also, I really loved how you described the atmosphere on Conventia. It's silent, dark, gloomy, mostly deserted. The landscape reflects Zim's state of mind again and I also liked the contrasts between the Irkens who look purposefully for solitude and Zim being left alone against his will, to the point that, after having tried to give GIR the silent treatment and waited for the robot to acknowledge him, he's the one to give in a do the first move, with a peace offer.
That interaction between them stretches in this same atmosphere, but there's a hit of sweetness at the end of it, both because Zim and GIR sort of wake up, and once again it's shown how much the Irken cares for try robot, in spite of everything and in spite of the way in which he had tried to ignore him at first, and because of the sweets that Zim eats before falling asleep. Another nice parallel. Special mention to your headcanon for Irkens and sleep. I totally agree with it! I like the idea of them not needing it unless they are in a very poor state or if they had somehow overexerted themselves. It also makes Zim's bitterness here somehow deeper, because he knew that it's not proper for an Invader to be so drained because of an emotional stress. Especially considering that he refused to even recognise those feelings.
I was waiting for this, to get to know exactly what the Tallest were planning for Zim. Much more than an official exile. They are trying to physically get rid of him. And it's a huge plan, because they have even accepted to pretend (more or less) around him all day, to lull him into a false sense of security. It's downright cruel and very, very subtle not to leave evidence that this was all planned and wanted behind. The whole scene is eerie, very creepy especially, when you first described the settings. Once again your description were amazing, here, as in the rest of the chapter. And I could easily imagine the emotions in the characters' voices, thanks to how you described their attitude. There's a small brighter hint in it, when Purple totally misses the rhetorical questions and gets hit for it, which was a bit funny to read and it loosens the very tight atmosphere a bit. And Dib wakes up to hear the last and more explicit part of it. I can imagine him, stumbling in-between his still sleepy thoughts and making sense of what he's hearing. Until he dies and the shocks settles in. The awful feelings he had felt before comes back at full force and now he's left with a dilemma, one that can't be easy to solve. And you also leave us with another cliffhanger here. What will happen to Zim? Is he going to fall into the trap and, if yes, how will he make it out alive? And also, will Dib try to warn him or just sit and watch, exploiting the chance to get rid of the threat looming over his planet? I'm so looking forward to find out!
This chapter was captivating and well written as the others. I want you to know that I'm really enjoying this story a lot. The plot is interesting, the characters are wonderfully written, all of them, and you are really good at depicting both places and emotions! Keep up the good work!
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DarkAbyss on Chapter 3 Sun 18 Mar 2018 12:31PM UTC
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DarkAbyss on Chapter 3 Sun 18 Mar 2018 12:31PM UTC
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