Comment on Beyond the Horizon: Book 1

  1. icefox94 on Chapter 1 Wed 14 Nov 2018 05:11PM UTC

    I'm sorry as well, but you never made it clear how old she was supposed to be in this fic, so I had to assume she was her canon age, unless you are referring to her mental age because of the time travel aspect.

    You didn't have to change your story to be less powerful just because one faceless person on the internet complained about it. I thought the first version was great, I was just letting you know how I felt about the pairing mentioned in the chapter.

    I will say this though. I know very well that there is more then 1 form love, the first sentence of my review even mentioned platonic and familial love. There is a difference between saying you love someone and you're in love with someone and I'm pretty sure O-Tama said in love in the first version. When you love someone, that can literally be any love. You could love them like a friend, like family, or romantically. When you are in love with someone, that is only romantic. Also on ao3, in relationship tags, when names are separated with an & it means the relationship is platonic and when it's separated by an / it's romantic, so when you said O-Tama/Ace before, that suggests romantic relationship. If you had meant for them to have a non romantic relationship, you weren't being very clear. I mean, you even mentioned the age difference, which wouldn't have been a problem in any other type of relationship, and mentioned marriages between older men and minors in the middle ages, for crying out loud. How else am I supposed to interpret it?

    With all that said, I still like the chapter you have here, even with the changes. It doesn't feel less powerful to me. It's still conveying that she cares deeply for Ace, enough to strive to change the future so he will survive his unfortunate fate. I'm honestly looking forward to future chapters and can't wait to see what else the Strawhats and their friends that have gone back in time as well will change with the knowledge of what the future holds.

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    1. CrystalNavy on Chapter 1 Wed 14 Nov 2018 05:29PM UTC

      I see their relationship as familial one too, actually. Sorry if that wasn't clear. I just figured I'd go outside the norm for once, since my other time travel fic, Hymn of the Brave, wasn't received that well.

      Oh, and I headcanon Tama being a Strawhat, rather than their ally, so that's how I write her. Although she did want to be a Spade originally......

      Last Edited Wed 14 Nov 2018 05:31PM UTC

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      1. icefox94 on Chapter 1 Wed 14 Nov 2018 05:58PM UTC

        O-Tama as a Strawhat would be awesome!

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        1. CrystalNavy on Chapter 1 Wed 14 Nov 2018 06:02PM UTC

          She'll probably be Spade this time around.

          As for the story, I have big things planned. Next up, we see the mindsets and actions of a couple of traitors.

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