That is great advise! I do struggle with showing emotion instead of telling it. Part of the reason I'm writing fan fiction is so I can practice writing in general so my original stories have more punch. I'm going to try to re-write this chapter in a few weeks and see if I can amp it up :D Practice practice practice! One day, I will master it!
I do find that saying things out loud helps when writing dialogue. (People will look at you oddly, don't mind them).
Comment on Looking in the same direction
pemfrost on Chapter 4 Fri 03 Jul 2015 12:30AM UTC
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