Ok, so I'm about to do a thing I don't think I've ever done yet. I'll comment right off the bat when there's still yet more material to be read. Not to be overly egocentric when my goal is to post a comment about your work but I wanted to underline how these circumstances are exceptional because it's not my MO and the brilliance of this absolutely pushed me to try something new.
The prose is... I tend to appreciate descriptive but clear and simple. Clean and sharp but with enough sprinkles on top that it elevates and softens the whole. This is stark. This is looking at the heart of matters and striking at its core with a few elegant lines. It's genuine and raw and gave me goosebumps. Point blank the summary was attention-grabbing because again, the formulation managed to be both efficient and revelatory. I knew in an obscure corner of my subconscious mind that's entirely devoted to reading and literary analysis that this would be the essence of the fic.
I was on a kick for Jegulus fics that started yesterday and I can say to you straight off and with complete honesty that this is a gem.
With a beginning like that, I was bound to be enthralled but then it was a gift that kept on giving. That you chose potentially one of the most emotional moments in the Marauder's era to start off your story, well, by now I know enough about how you write the tone of this fic to say it's not a coincidence and it was a moment chosen with care and precision. From that scene of Sirius crashing on the Potter's doorstep, James switching instantly to humor in order to both distract Sirius and make use of his own worry, to Euphemia being so concerned and attentive... There are a thousand more things I could talk about in this scene alone.
But the thing I want to focus on is the beautiful and deceptive simplicity of that introduction. The Potters are kind, both in actions and words but also in considerations. It's shown in how Euphemia immediately sets off to diagnoses and heals Sirius when she realizes something isn't right but even before doing all of that she asks for permission first. It's in how James knew what would be best for Sirius and did it without prompting but was still overwhelmed when he learned exactly what his best friend was suffering through and exploded. And then there's Euphemia reassuring Sirius he'll never have to go back home before he faints and how she and her son are left to contemplate everything that happened. This line!
"The two Potters stand frozen for a moment, silent in their darkened home, brimming with feelings that ache."
Pure beauty. And further proof that you don't need long declarations to touch and move your readers. A skill I've yet to master, the length of my comments being an indication.
Following that James springs into action to ensure his best friend will be comfortable while his mother takes care of the details. I love how she immediately considers Regulus in all of that and James' own reaction to it. Like you've said in the fic yourself, they're still children, and it's a ruthlessly efficient way to prove it via James' reaction, how he can't yet see past his instinctive distaste and anger because yeah, he's still a child in that regard and for him, Regulus is guilty by association. This brings to mind the two first paragraphs of this fic about choice and mistakes and it's so well done that I can't help admire it. How could I do anything else when this is a work of art?
After that, there were another two-three scenes in particular that stuck with me. The encounter in the train where Regulus meets them perchance but takes the opportunity to ensure Sirius is alright in his own way. But James isn't about to let it slide, not after the summer he spent with Sirius, where he had to watch, unable to do anything, while his best friend was barely hanging on by his finger, not when he finally has a target for his anger. Then Regulus counters fire with fire and gets angry in turn and speaks something very revelatory. One, he couldn't do anything (and feels guilty over that though he doesn't show it) and two, he also of the mind that if Sirius didn't antagonize them constantly things would be easier for him. A great way to slips in almost innocuously what's his own strategy to survive in the Black's household.
And then we have this amazing bit of dialogue between James and Remus at the library. How James sees Sirius' new attitude and worries about it in his own way even if his approach toward it is letting it goes on for as long as it needs to, while Remus, that's more self-conscious and who consider things from his own perceptive, worries and wonder if they shouldn't stage an intervention instead. Then there's the absolutely brilliant moment where Remus reveals his insecurities to James, which immediately seeks to reassure him as to his (and by extension Peter) place in the group and the fact that he belongs there and Remus counters with something that's very true, James is allowed to have a best friend in Sirius and thus to share special moments and a stronger connection with him than he does with the rest of them.
Cue the epic stare down and refusal to back off from James because he's four best friends, who are equally important in different ways. Again, it's such an elegant and efficient way to lay down the dynamics that I'm in awe. And finally, we have the moment where James has another chance encounter with Regulus and chooses to indulge his curiosity, like the Marauder he is, and unexpectedly comes across new and perplexing information for him that will force a perspective change. Again, a hundred for execution. Just... perfect. Prongs seeing Regulus in a vulnerable moment and being forced to reevaluate and finally see that the youngest Black's situation isn't how he imagined it and being shaken by it, by having to finally consider him as a person too. Also, Regulus taking to the star as a placeholder for his brother, it's... something too emotional for me to properly put in words. I wonder when James will realize?
Anyways, I've wrapped this up. A hundred kudos to you and more. Thank for writing and sharing this frankly awesome piece of fiction with us.
Comment on Choices
Yudja on Chapter 1 Fri 26 Mar 2021 10:47AM UTC
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MesserMoon on Chapter 1 Fri 26 Mar 2021 04:18PM UTC
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