What a way to turn the story on its head. Idk if you'll ever see this, but your comment changes the entire series' trajectory. In context of your comment, when he says his final line it comes of as a middle finger🖕up to the voice inside his head. Like yeah, you fucking suck buddy. But this is MY mind. Yah know?
And yes, there are things you can't fix but you CAN get better. Learning how to cope, how live a life around your illness, forming relationships and keeping them — that's getting better. It isn't fixing the illness but it means living a better life than where you were before. I never really saw Tim's breakdowns as "actual" stepbacks the way this fic kinda makes it out to be, because it still doesn't erase the fact that who he was when he was first found, is a wholly different person compared to who he is now. Even post breakdown. Because he's not starting from scratch everytime he gets back up.
This is not a tragic/despairing ending because to people with mental illnesses (myself included) this is learning how to live with and sometimes despite of my diagnosis. I'm not a bad ending just because I have something I can't cure!
Tim actually has resources, financial security, a surprisingly good support system, and access to help this time around. That makes it significantly harder to actually and totally fuck things up in a way that he does, end, with a true and definitive bad ending.
I loved reading how his family has been stepping up for him. Just read a particularly daunting and candid character study abt the batfam and in a way this was like getting a lollipop for a treat.
Thank you. Both for prompting me to reread this story (which is great) and also for the solidarity. We’re mentally ill. It doesn’t ‘go away’. But it doesn’t take everything else away, either.
Many of the challenges of 4 years ago are mostly gone, now. We just closed our file with the organization that’s been helping our son, because he’s doing so well they don’t have anything to do. I’m handling daily responsibilities like chores so much better. Intrusive thoughts are no longer a problem.
Which leaves room for the deeper stuff to come to the surface. I’m dealing with loneliness and new brands of self-hatred. I’m trying to give my kids the quality time they need, and currently failing. I still get mad at how hard things are. But it’s more of a grumbling annoyance, rather than a screaming to the sky. I’m able to support my husband, so that HE can have his turn having a crisis. I got this. I just don’t always want to.
I’ve built a family that supports each other. We all have our mental stuff. But we’re able to make space for each others’ needs. Being mentally ill still isn’t the bad ending. It’s just one of many character traits.
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Menagerieofsorts Fri 12 May 2023 06:18AM UTC
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kiragecko Sat 13 May 2023 01:09AM UTC
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