Oh silly, sweet dumb Clive! I appreciate the slow burn is much more obvious in this retelling. But oh poor Clive. If only he knew! Great chapter, love the build up to Rosalith and Joshua’s view on it.
Oh yeah you have to start adding interiority in prose. Seriously, the lack of development in the Clive/Jill relationship is a huge reason why I cut the timeskip in half. Anyway! Now Jill's dealing with her problems enough to think 'maybe I *can* have the boy I like, as a treat' but Clive's still spinning his wheels.
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ebbyS on Chapter 38 Tue 14 May 2024 05:01AM UTC
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some_things_that_fly (lowflyingfruit) on Chapter 38 Mon 20 May 2024 12:56PM UTC
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