Comment on I Missed You So Much

  1. Sigil_of_House_Throckmorton on Chapter 4 Tue 25 Jun 2024 11:59AM UTC

    I absolutely do understand, and I appropriate the feedback. There is a lot of internal justification I had to work through to get this version since I really despise NTR, despite how this chapter turned out. In my head, at least, Sansa was going to propose this type of arrangement anyway, not that that was easy to communicate here.

    My big problem with the original chapter was that it just didn't feel believable, and it didn't fit this story's overall theme of empathy and reconciliation. I added the "Porn with Feelings" and "Hurt/Comfort" tags to better support this mission for the story.

    I also think this chapter feels more like it belongs in this story, rather than the original where I bent everything that made the characters feel real just to make them fuck. The smut that I enjoy the best is believable, and my writing basically broke my own rule, so I just couldn't sit with it. And whether because of that or just because I was more careful with it, I'm much more satisfied with how the smut in particular turned out here.

    So yeah, Jon and Arya acting on their lust without Sansa's explicit consent was a really shitty thing to do. And it gave Arya her first emotional breakdown since King's Landing, if I remember right. I really tried to not treat it lightly. Jon's own guilt is planned to be addressed in a future chapter. I hope you continue to give the story a chance at the next update. Thank you for your feedback!

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    1. Sigil_of_House_Throckmorton on Chapter 4 Tue 25 Jun 2024 12:29PM UTC

      And now I'm realizing that despite my distaste, both Jon/Arya scenes I've published so far have technically been cheating. Dang it. Somewhere down the road I'll need to write a straight up vanilla romance with them, not that I'll ever have time for that...

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    2. NowGodsStandUpForBastards on Chapter 4 Wed 26 Jun 2024 05:27PM UTC

      Thanks for your understanding reply.

      I appreciate that Sansa was always going to propose this arrangement, but Jon and Arya don’t know this, so if anything that makes the whole situation even worse to me (or at least makes me feel sadder for Sansa) - they could have got what they wanted if they’d just talked to her first.

      Especially as it’s clear, in Arya’s case, that she’d been planning on seducing Jon for days before he arrived - this wasn’t just spur of the moment (which would have been bad enough on its own), she’d made a calculated decision that she didn’t care about the hurt she would cause. On top of this, she’d been planning her betrayal whilst Sansa was the one in tears apologising to her - for much more minor offences committed when she was literally eleven - which just makes her come off as more hypocritical. As such, my sympathy for Arya’s breakdown was non-existent - it felt entirely self-indulgent, given she knew exactly what she was doing. She was only sorry she had to face the consequences of her actions.

      As for Jon, he’s no better, crawling out of his pregnant wife’s bed to sleep with her sister!

      I appreciate your reasoning for the changes you’ve made; the problem is, they make me hugely dislike Jon or Arya as people, whilst Sansa comes across as someone so conditioned by years of abusive relationships, that she’s willing to accept being walked all over by those meant to love her most, in a desperate attempt not to lose them altogether.

      But your writing is too good for me not to continue reading, so I will be here for the next chapter!

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      1. Sigil_of_House_Throckmorton on Chapter 4 Wed 26 Jun 2024 07:29PM UTC

        Ouch, that's got to be the harshest possible interpretation of the characters that you could take. I agree there is a lot of selfishness in the decisions here. Accepting someone completely, even their bad or selfish parts, is something I'm trying to convey here, so those parts do need to be shown. I'll also say you can't have comfort without first experiencing pain, and I absolutely don't want to do physical pain in a smut fic so emotional pain is where it has to come from. However, I do reject the notion that Sansa is being overly-conciliatory due to past abuse. Her line scolding Arya for assuming her motivations was very important to her character, at least in my head as I was writing it.

        I'm glad you're still interested in reading more despite feeling this way; hopefully future chapters (whenever I have time to write them) would at least partially redeem the characters for you. Cheers!

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      2. Sigil_of_House_Throckmorton on Chapter 4 Sat 27 Jul 2024 05:29PM UTC

        Just wanted to see if reading the next few chapters changed your mind at all. Chapter 6 in particular is from Sansa's POV. Totally fine if it still doesn't float your boat, but you provided some great feedback before so I figured it was worth asking!

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