Comment on The Empyreal Within

  1. Wow, what a closer! This might not be the last chapter but I love how much you managed to squeeze into this finale. So many twists but everything still comes together so well. Desto and Do-Tarn getting busted, Mirana's dramatic comeback, the GG cadets having Allura's back--you even got to sneak Lotor's backstory! I got to say between that and Rhiella & Mogor's reunion, you're on slick author!

    It's so nice that after everything they went through, that Allura gets everything she wanted, right down to her father's respect. I also like that you didn't try to squeeze in Sendak and that you're just leaving him open. I think that's a really clever way to lead into acknowledging how a couple like Lotor and Allura will always face discrimination; there's no way you can defeat all opposition to a romance like that, but if they're strong they'll take deal with it.

    I'm a little surprised you just offed Romelle like that. I'm not particularly attached to the character but I half-expected Allura to take a third option and shoot her in a way that would incapacitate her. Still it worked considering the urgency of the situation that Romelle *did* force her into. Not to mention how it helped make the suspense in the first half of the chapter that much stronger.

    Alright one chapter left, let's go!

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