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Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of Unwanted
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Published:
2022-10-12
Completed:
2025-03-12
Words:
327,284
Chapters:
45/45
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Unwanted

Summary:

Based on u/mlatu315's prompt on reddit:
Harry had always been told his parents were dead, but when he was 5 he learned the truth: he was unwanted. That was the year his baby sister was left on the Dursley's doorstep.

Notes:

This story is based on a prompt I saw while mindlessly scrolling through reddit this morning. It immediately captured my attention and almost made me late for work as I was so absorbed in mentally planning it out.

As it is, I think this works well as a heartbreaking one-shot, but I think I have a little more in me than just the one chapter. I don't anticipate turning this into an epic longfic, but sometimes these things can happen.

If you're here because you're subscribed to me and are waiting for an update on my other fic, "His Mother's Eyes," I promise, an update is coming eventually. I've had a bit of a creative lag with that one, but it remains NOT ABANDONED and definitely still WIP. I have plans for later chapters, but have to get over this hump first. Hopefully, this little detour will re-invigorate me. Will this also turn into a Severitus fic? Possibly. We'll see.

Anyway, please read and enjoy. I'm calling this the Prologue because it has a different format and lays the groundwork for a story, but it also stands on its own quite well.

Trigger Warning: Though Lily does not appear directly in this chapter, there are some strong and not-very-subtle hints to severe postpartum depression/postpartum psychosis and emotional rejection of an infant. If this is triggering for you, please do not engage. Protect yourself and your own health. Much love, always.

Chapter 1: Prologue

Chapter Text

Prologue: Notes

November 1, 1981

Dear Harry, 

I’m sorry it had to come to this. Now, as I look down on your tiny body, so much smaller than your brother’s, I can’t help but want to keep you safe, to protect you. So, I’m doing that in the best way I know how. It isn’t enough, won’t ever be enough, but I hope, one day, you will understand why I have to do this. 

It’s not that your mother doesn’t love you. She does. I know she does. She carried you in secret for 8 months–longer than the healer thought she would. You were just always so much smaller than Jamie. So frail. From the beginning, we never thought you’d even make it into this world at all. But you did! You surprised us both! But you were still so, so tiny. You may have been twins, but Jamie clearly got the bigger share. The midwife cautioned us against hope. Your mother, she took that to heart. She was so afraid of losing you that she never let herself get close to you, hated when I spent time with you. But I did anyway. For me, better to love you and lose you than to never love you at all. I always thought she’d come around to my way of thinking eventually.

Now, though…after what happened last night…I’m afraid of the way she is looking at you. Jamie was hurt, you know, and she’s not in her right mind, nevermind that the only reason Jamie or her or me–any of us!--is alive is because of what you did. How did you– nevermind. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we are safe. All of us. 

Except you aren’t safe. Not from her. Not right now. So, you see, I have no choice. I have to send you away, at least until she gets better. Petunia has a boy of her own, just a bit older than you and Jamie. She should be well-equipped to take care of you. She dotes on that boy, and Lily says he’s a right prick, even for an 18-month-old, so I know you’ll have her wrapped around your charming little fingers in no time. Give her one of your best crooked smiles and she’ll be a goner. 

She’ll keep you out of the scrutiny of the wizarding world, too. People are already talking about what happened here. Dumbledore will be over within the hour, I’ve put him off as long as I could already, and rumors are flying like a flock of mad bludgers. Your name’s been kept out of it so far, since nobody knows about you, and I’d like to keep it that way. Life in the spotlight isn’t the easiest. You’ll be so much happier with your aunt, even if she isn’t exactly my first choice of caregiver for you. Your mother still cares for her, so I’m trusting her instincts on this.

I hope I’ll be able to come back for you soon. I’m sure your mother will be asking after you in no time. She’s just not herself right now, that’s all. Writing this letter feels like an exercise in futility, honestly, since you’ll be back at home with us and I’ll have tossed it into the fire long before you’re even capable of reading it. I’m not even sure why I’m bothering to write it when what I really ought to be doing is getting you ready to go before Dumbledore gets here and starts poking his nose into matters. But doing it feels important, somehow. It feels like it matters, so I’m taking the time. 

Maybe it’s for my benefit, like a catharsis, or something. It does feel good to write it all down. Besides, your mother is asleep with Jamie next to her in the bed and you’re in this little cot in my office and the house is blessedly quiet in the way it hasn’t been since the two of you were born. I could just sit here and watch you breathe. For a moment yesterday I wasn’t sure…

Well.

Know that I love you. I wish I didn’t have to send you away, but I can’t help your mother and keep you safe at the same time. She’s never clung to you like she does to Jamie, but I’ve never worried that she would really hurt you. I wish I could still be sure of that. Your Aunt Petunia and I have never gotten on particularly well, but I trust her to care for you in our absence. And above all, you’ll be safe there. Hidden. Protected. Not even your mother would think to look for you there, if she even bothers to look. And it’ll only be temporary anyway. Just for a little while. 

I love you Harry Evan Potter. I’ll see you soon. 

Love, 

Dad

—----------------------------------------------------------

Petunia,

I haven’t a lot of time, so I won’t mince words. I know we haven’t always seen eye-to-eye, and I wouldn’t ask this of you if it wasn’t of utmost urgency. I’ve nowhere else to go. No one else to turn to. 

Meet your nephew. I need you to look after him for a bit. Things aren’t safe for him here. I’ll be back to fetch him when the danger has passed. Shouldn’t be more than a few weeks. A month, at most. 

No one will think to look for him with you, so he’ll be safe. You’ll be safe, too. I promise, your family isn’t in any danger. Hardly any of our kind even know you exist. 

Promise I’ll come back for him soon. Take care of him for us, please, Petunia. I’m begging you. I’m trusting you.

Thank you.

James Potter

P.S. His name is Harry. 

—--------------------------------------------------------

May 22, 1985

Petunia, 

Lily isn’t well. I wish I could explain. Daisy needs a mother. I need you to be that for her. Lily…

Lily isn’t well. 

Tell Harry I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t come back for him. I’m sorry I couldn’t. 

Give him all my love. Or all yours. 

At least they’ll be together. At least they’ll have each other. 

I’m sorry. 

James

—---------------------------------------------------------

Daisy,

What does a father say to the daughter he’s always wanted but will never know? I’ve loved you since before you were born. I will love you every day of my life. 

Your mother is a complicated woman. We didn’t plan for you, I’ll admit. Still, I was so happy when she told me. Your mother was happy at first, too. We were both so excited at the beginning. Then, something happened. I think it was something at work, because your mother won’t speak about it (occupational hazard of being married to an Unspeakable). But all of a sudden she was afraid. Of everything. She was paranoid that something was going to happen to one of us, that she was going to lose us or we were going to lose her. She was afraid of what happened last time with your brother, that it would happen again with you. She shut herself away. No one except me even knew she was pregnant and she wouldn’t let me tell. No one except me even knew you were born. Not even your brother. And after…when she wouldn’t look at you…you’ve only been with us for three days, but I’ve seen this before. I knew what it meant.

It was just the same as before. With Harry. When I set up the little cot in my office, like I used to with him, she didn’t even notice.

I’m sorry, Daisy. I’ve learned my lesson. There will be no more Potters. 

I wish I could offer you more hope, promises of a reunified family, a chance at happiness. When I wrote this letter to your brother, I wasn’t even sure why I was doing it. I told him I’d be back soon. I think maybe, somewhere, I knew that it wasn’t true, but I wrote it anyway. 

I will tell you no lies, my daughter. I will make you no promises I cannot keep. Not again. 

I don’t think your mother will get better. I don’t think she will ask after you. I think she will pretend you never existed, erase you from her thoughts, like she erased Harry. But I will never forget you. I will never erase you. You will always be mine. 

From the time I first met her when I was eleven, I loved your mother more than anything on this earth. That love has not wavered once in fifteen years. Though, in my weaker (or maybe my stronger) moments, I wish it had. I never knew what a curse it would be upon me. I cannot turn my back on her. Not even for you. Not even for both of you. There is no forgiveness for me. I do not ask it. 

I gave you a flower name, like your mother and your aunt. Their mother was called Violet, and her mother was Iris, and so on as far as anyone can remember. It was the best gift I could give you. 

Grow well, Daisy Ella Potter. Be happy. Be safe. Be loved.

Dad James Potter