Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Change is not new to Mikey. He knows it well. However, these past few days (months?) have been too much for him to handle. 

He’s slowly cracking. Mikey can feel it. Piece by piece everything is starting to crash down around him. He’s always been good at adapting, though. So that’s what he’ll do. He’ll adapt.

That’s how he survived Dimension X. If it helped him survive there, it’ll help him make it here.

A couple days ago, his brothers showed up and rescued him and Leatherhead from Dimension X. He’s not sure they see it as a “rescue”, but that’s what it feels like to Mikey. His brothers were his heroes. They helped him leave that place after who knows how long.

The days after that were a blur. The rescue had tuckered all of them out, for sure, but there wasn’t much time to rest. The Kraang were coming, bound to invade within the next 24 hours. They were all tired, even Mikey.

He had chugged the last slug he had and trudged onwards. 

There were plans on how to defeat the Kraang. Leo suggested regrouping somewhere else, to give them more time to get a proper plan and have a safer base outside the invasion’s range. Donnie had disagreed, arguing that they should stay and fight with the mech he was working on.

The fight went on for a couple hours, only stopping when April and her friend burst into their lair. April’s friend, the one who turned into a Kraang before their very eyes and let the Kraang know their location.

They left. They ran, split from Sensei and then from Leo. Mikey wondered where Raph and Casey were. He hoped they were safe. 

Everything kept moving forward. 

At April's house, her dad broke down. Mikey texted Leo and Raph their location. They reunited with Raph and Casey, relief overflowing Mikey as he quickly hugged his big brother before everything crashed down once again as Leo smashed through April’s window.

Glass shards were everywhere, reminding him of gems from trees in a pink land.

They ran. They separated and reunited, only to watch Sensei go down the drain. Mikey pulled Raph from his blind anger — Mikey knows the feeling all too well, purple blood over his hands as he stares at a skull — and they ran away once again. Another reunion, and then they left the town.

It was so fast. Too fast. 

April’s farmhouse is where they are now. It’s been a whole day since they got here. 

Mikey still hasn’t slept.

Leo’s down for the count. Whatever Shredder did knocked him out good. The scratches covering his plastron are deep, but not life threatening. His knee is a bit strained, though, but Donnie’s more concerned for the head trauma he received. There’s small gashes over Leo’s face, the most concerning injury being the big lump on the back of his head. 

Donnie has locked himself in the barn not too far from the house. He crashed when they first got to April’s summer house, but upon waking up he got to work. Mikey’s unsure on what. It’s most likely something to do with the Kraang, but no one has seen Donnie since he went into the barn.

Raph also crashed when they finally got to the house. He and Donnie made sure Leo was stable while Mikey watched. April and Casey gathered pillows and blankets and passed them out. Raph fell asleep next to Leo’s side and then… didn’t leave. 

As far as Mikey’s aware, Raph’s still there. He won’t move unless it’s to use the bathroom and shower. Mikey has to take his food directly to him. It’s worrying, seeing his angry brother so… quiet. So still, even.

April and Casey chose rooms upstairs to stay in. They also crashed after Donnie confirmed Leo was stable. They’ve been working to get the house in order. Mikey’s offered to help, but they turned him down. 

He’s heard Casey mention his idea of going back to town to search for his family. April mentioned maybe going with him, to help search. But they both also stated how bad an idea it was.

Mikey’s sure they’ll probably go anyway. 

He hasn’t done much since he got to April’s house. Still somewhat riding the energy the slug gave him, Mikey didn’t sleep the night they arrived. He worked on repairing the weapons he could, taking count of the ninja stars he and his bros had left. He took stock of the food and dishes they have available and began to make a list of what they may need in a couple days.

And that’s where he stopped.

Now, he’s leaning over the kitchen counter, wondering what he should make for dinner. He cleaned the kitchen earlier today, a feeling of restlessness overtaking him. He still feels restless, despite his muscles starting to ache from fatigue.

Mikey rubs a hand over his face, staring over at the fridge. He should probably eat soon too. He hasn’t been hungry since his last slug, which is slightly concerning. It’s been about a day and a half. Shouldn’t he be hungry by now?

He groans and places his forehead down on the countertop of the island. Who cares how long he’s been away, he’s back. That’s what matters.

He starts tapping the countertop.

The question still lingers, despite his best efforts. How old is he now? Was he there long enough for a year to have passed? Mikey doesn’t think so. However, he knows he and his brothers were all mutated on the same day. Does his trip mean he’s the oldest now?

Mikey pushes himself up from the countertop, hissing slightly. “Whatever,” he mutters. “Stop thinking ‘bout it. Food, we need food. Think about dinner, Mikey.”

He opens the pantry and squats down to read the cans on the bottom shelf. Despite his frustration, he smiles. Mikey grabs a couple cans and brings them near the stove before turning to grab a pot to cook the soup in.

Donnie once mentioned eating only liquid things for a long time could make it hard for someone to eat solid things again. Mikey assumes he needs to be careful in his transition back to solid food. This should work!

Mikey opens a drawer to grab a can opener. He hears someone shuffling down to the kitchen. The person stops as Mikey begins to open the first can.

“Really? Spaghettios?” April asks, arms crossed but a small, teasing smile on her face. 

Mikey hums an affirmative, giving a small smile back. “It’s a classic!”

The can opens and he pours it into the pot. He grabs the next can and begins working to open that one.

April laughs at his remark. “I guess,” she admits, before leaning on the island. “You gonna add anything to it?”

Mikey shrugs noncommittally. “Nah, not this time. Don’t want to use too many ingredients.” He turns and pours the can into the pot.

He hears April shift behind him, her footsteps heading towards the fridge. She opens it.

“Oh, yeah. I guess we do need to go shopping soon. There’s a grocery store not far from here, I think. Me and Casey can go check that out later. Good thinking, Mikey,” April praises as more footsteps enter the kitchen.

“Casey here, at your service. You called, Red?” Casey announces. Mikey peeks over his shoulder to see Casey striking a ridiculous pose and smiles at him. 

Of course, change happens. However, some things always stay the same. Apparently, that thing is the one and only Casey Jones. Should Mikey be surprised?

April doesn’t find it as funny as Mikey does. She rolls her eyes playfully at Casey. “Mikey realized we’re running low on food. Me and you will be taking a trip to the store soon to get some more stuff,” she tells him.

“Nice!” Casey says. “Snack runs are awesome. I’m sure we’ll all become a bit stir crazy in this house sooner or later.”

“A trip to the store will be exactly what we need,” April agrees.

Mikey has dumped all six cans of Spaghettios in the pot, so he grabs a wooden spoon and begins to gently stir as the stove begins to warm it up. Casey comes over and hovers near his shoulder. He wafts some of the steam towards his nose.

“Mmmm, that smells so good,” he moans. “I can’t wait to have some.”

“Should be done in a couple minutes, dude,” Mikey replies. He shifts so he’s not as close to Casey. His hovering is bothering Mikey. “Could you two get Raph and Donnie? I’ll bring their bowls to them if they don’t come, but…”

But he’s missed them. He’s missed having them all in the same room, all eating together at the same table. He wants his brothers.

April sends a sympathetic look to Mikey. “Yeah, we can do that, right Case?”

“‘Course, dude!” Casey says, gripping Mikey’s shoulder. 

Mikey pulls away like the touch burns him. April’s brows furrow and Mikey realizes he’s messed up, somehow. Casey’s giving him the same expression, so Mikey forces a grin.

“No toucha of dee cook!” Mikey jokes, smacking Casey’s hand away lightly. “Anyways, go get my bros. This is going to be so good!”

Casey laughs at him but it doesn’t replace the glimmer of concern in his eyes. April gives him an awkward smile. The two humans glance at each other before leaving. 

Mikey lets his smile fall when they’re out of sight. Absently he rubs his shoulder. 

It’s not that he didn’t like the shoulder pat. No, he did. It just felt weird. It still does, like he needs a shower to get the lingering touch off.

He frowns and grabs some bowls from the cupboard. Mikey wills himself not to think about it as he pours the Spaghettios in. He sets the table and sits down.

Only Casey and April join him. He forces himself to smile and joke, to act as unconcerning as possible. They already have enough to worry about.

Mikey can take care of himself, he knows that now.

Dinner goes off without a hitch, as far as Mikey can tell. He then delivers a bowl to Raph and to Donnie. He cleans the kitchen and returns it to its pristine state he had it in beforehand.

With what feels like all his ducks in a row, Mikey finally sits down at the couch. His body thanks him, as the Spaghettios might have been a bit too solid for him. He hopes he continues to keep it down.

His mind, however, wanders. He thinks through what could be happening right now. New York City is in a state of ruin, would the Kraang begin to move their invasion outwards? How long until the house they’re at is trampled by Kraang forces?

Mikey doesn’t have the energy to get up from the couch. He shakes his leg instead. He should get up, double check things are all in place. He should check if the Kraang are coming. 

He sits there for what feels like hours, going through possibility after possibility. He does this so long he starts making plans on what to do if anything happens. Mikey feels way too much like Leo.

“Uh, you ok?”

Raph’s voice startles him enough that he jumps up and throws a ninja star at him. Raph expertly dodges and then the two of them stare at each other in shock.

“What the heck, Mikey?” Raph hisses, volume low. Huh, is it that early in the morning? Or is it that late at night?

Mikey doesn’t know. He blinks at Raph slowly.

“You scared me, dude,” he replies, frowning at Raph. “A little warning next time? Maybe?”

Raph raises an unimpressed eye ridge. “Yeah, sure. Maybe instead of sleep talking on the couch you could go sleep talk in, I don’t know, a bedroom?”

Mikey scoffs. He wasn’t asleep. He answers Raph by sticking his tongue out at him and leaving the living room. He heads towards the front door.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Raph demands, walking up behind him. Mikey stops and turns around.

“None of your beeswax.” Mikey points his finger into Raph’s plastron and then turns right back around.

He opens the front door and leaves. He walks down the porch and grips his head when he hears the door shut.

What did Raph even want from him?! It’s not like Mikey meant to throw a star at him! Raph just snuck up on him!

Mikey growls and throws his hands down. Raph snuck up on him. That’s what he’s mad about. He is supposed to always be aware of his surroundings. What if Raph wasn’t Raph? What if he was something dangerous?

Whatever. Whatever! Mikey’ll apologize later. For now, his mind is telling him to keep a lookout, that's what he’s gonna do.

The sun is rising in the east. The south is where New York is. Mikey walks to the south side of the house and plops down, slightly dizzy. He glares at the rising sun, his shell touching the house’s side.

Mikey’s super tired. Which doesn’t make sense, if he thinks about it. He ate something. Why is he tired?

“I’ll be ready,” Mikey mumbles as the sun slowly rises. 

It’s a promise to the Kraang. He wonders if they’re scared of him. They should be.

However, his promise is only mental. Mikey falls asleep against his will, watching the sky go from black to blue.

Chapter Text

It’s been a month and a week since the Kraang invasion. It’s been a week since Leo finally woke up.

In Raph’s expert opinion, it took him long enough to awaken. It was annoyingly gross taking care of his unconscious older brother (he’d do it again in a heartbeat if it meant Leo woke up and stayed alive). It is much easier to take care of an awake brother.

“Raph, I’m telling you I can shower now. My leg is fine.”

Actually, unconscious Leo didn’t argue with him. Maybe he was easier to deal with.

“You’re holding all your weight on your right leg,” Raph retorts, crossing his arms.

Leo groans. “Yes, because I want to take it easy like Donnie said to.”

“Taking a shower isn’t taking it easy, Leo!”

“Raph-“

“What are you two arguing about now?” Donnie pokes his head into the room before fully entering. He waves his hands. “Wait! Never mind, I actually do not want to know.”

Raph grunts at Donnie’s intrusion. He’s glad his purple brother is finally out of his prison (read: farmhouse). Ever since Leo woke up, Raph’s been seeing more of Donnie.

Then again, it’s not like he can say too much. He didn’t leave his own prison (read: Leo’s room) much either.

“Donnie, please tell Raph I can take a shower. I am filthy,” Leo states, but his eyes reveal that his big brother is actually begging for Donnie’s help. 

Raph scoffs, deciding to mock Leo’s poorly hidden plea. “Donnie, please tell Leo that taking a shower isn’t taking it easy. He could strain his knee!”

Donnie looks between the two of them before closing his eyes tight and bringing a hand to his temple. “I said I didn’t want to know, and I was right,” he mumbles.

“Donnie-“ Raph and Leo both start.

“Nope! I have a solution. Shower together. We’re turtles, it’s fine. Besides, Raph’s been taking care of you this whole time anyways.”

Raph feels his brain do the record scratch sound. Oh, he’s going to murder Donnie. His face heats up so much that he’s sure he’s as dark as his mask right now.

Plus side is that Leo doesn’t seem to be faring much better.

“I regret asking,” Leo mutters.

Raph huffs in amusement and agreement while Donnie chuckles. “It’s good to see you up, Leo,” Donnie says, a small smile on his face.

Leo’s face softens and he smiles back. “Good to be up.”

Raph lightly pushes Leo’s shoulder, as if to say he’s glad he’s awake too. Leo seems to get the hint.

“Oh! I just remembered what I came in for. Have you two seen Mikey?” Donnie asks. 

Leo and Raph share a glance. Raph shakes his head as Leo answers.

“No, we haven’t. Is something wrong?”

Donnie hums. “No, I don’t think so. It’s just… it is lunch time, isn’t it?” Donnie doesn’t wait for them to answer. “I was out in the barn and usually he brings me food.”

“And he hasn’t yet?” Raph interrupts, eye ridges furrowing.

“Well, no. Not that I expect him to bring me food, it’s just that he has done so ever since we got to the house,” Donnie rushes to explain, because he does sound sort of entitled right now. 

But, now that Raph thinks about it, it is a bit concerning.

“He hasn’t brought us food either,” Leo says, one hand under his chin.

Raph swallows a lump in his throat. Leo must’ve picked up that look from Sensei.

“Whatever,” Raph grunts, looking back at Donnie. “Just because he didn’t make us food once doesn’t mean something is wrong, right?”

Silence answers him. Donnie and Leo look away from him, choosing the ground over his eyes. 

“It is a bit out of character,” Donnie mumbles, before straightening. “I’ll go look for him and make sure he’s alright.”

“Good idea,” Leo chimes in, nodding. 

Raph waves his hand in a “go on” gesture. Worry actually churns deep in his gut too. 

“Tell us when you find the nerd, will ya?” Raph says, keeping his tone nonchalant.

Mikey better not be doing anything stupid.

Donnie pauses in the doorway. “Only if you get Leo a shower,” he teases, a smirk on his face.

“Wh- uh- Donnie!” Raph sputters, taking a couple stomping steps forwards.

Donnie squeaks and dashes from the doorway, chuckling the whole way. Raph sighs. Jerk. He turns towards Leo.

“We’re doing this, aren’t we?” Raph asks, narrowing his eyes at his brother in blue. 

Leo meets his eyes with a determined look. “I’m getting that shower, Raph.”

Raph internally groans. This is gonna be so weird! But, judging from the way Leo’s rubbing the back of his neck, he’s also thinking the same thing.

And, yeah. Leo is starting to stink.

“Whatever you say, Fearless.” Raph offers Leo his hand with a small smile. 

Leo smiles back, taking his hand. 

Raph hauls Leo up, his arm going over Raph’s shoulder. “You tell me if we need to pause.”

Leo rolls his eyes in response. “And you say I hover.”

“I will drop you,” Raph threatens as they begin to walk out of the room. It’s an empty threat. Unfortunately, Leo knows that.

“No, you won’t.” He looks way too smug for Raph’s liking, but Raph doesn’t have a clap back for that, so he just mutters under his breath. 

Leo laughs more at that.

Slowly, they make their way through the house. Whoever designed the house was an idiot, Raph decides as he and Leo get closer to the stairs. Who in their right mind would put all showers upstairs? 

Leo seems to share the same sentiment, if the worried crease of his eye ridge is to say. 

“You still want that shower?” Leo responds with a half-hearted glare. “Alright then.”

Raph takes the first step and, suddenly, the front door is flying open.

His free hand immediately flies to his sai while Leo tenses over his shoulder. Turns out they didn’t need to be worried though.

“-ix something right up, dude! Can’t believe I almost missed lunch!” Mikey’s voice rings out as he enters, shell towards Raph and Leo. “What are ya thinking? Sandwiches sound pre-“

“Mikey!” Raph calls, frustration building. Sure, just come in here and make him so startled he almost drops Leo! 

Mikey pauses. He has the decency to at least look a little sheepish at what he’s done. “Oh. Hey bros.” He gives a nervous laugh.

Donnie appears at the front door. “Mikey-“

Raph watches as Mikey blinks. It’s almost like someone pushed a button. Mikey straightens up from his nervous stance and continues walking towards what must be the kitchen.

“Sandwiches. I’m thinking sandwiches! That sound good to you, Dee?” Mikey calls as he goes in front of the couch to not get in Raph and Leo’s way.

Donnie follows him. Raph knows that look. He’s frustrated about something, teeth clenched. Raph looks to Leo with a “you seeing this?” look. Leo returns it, face too grim for his liking.

So, Raph steps in.

“No, you’re going to help me get Leo upstairs, first,” Raph states, glaring over at Mikey. “You almost made me drop him!”

Mikey winces but continues towards the kitchen. “Sorry, dude! I’m behind on lunch duty.”

“Mi-“ Donnie tries. Leo cuts in.

“Mikey, are you ok?”

The house falls silent. Everyone pauses. Mikey looks at Leo like he has lost his mind.

“Uh, yeah?”

Donnie steps forward, arms crossed. “Why were you sleeping outside, Mikey?”

Raph blinks as Mikey stiffens. “You were what?”

“I was taking a nap, chill,” Mikey says, holding the “L”. He holds out his hands in a placating gesture before pointing at Donnie. “Also, you’re a snitch. I’m now making sandwiches whether you want one or not.”

And then he turns and goes into the kitchen. Raph looks over at Donnie and then to Leo.

“What was that about?” Leo asks slowly.

Donnie huffs. “Exactly what he said, I guess. He was taking a nap outside. But, when I questioned him about it, he got all defensive. It… was weird.”

Raph looks towards the direction of the kitchen. “It’s Mikey,” he says after a moment. “Weird is his middle name.”

Saying that leaves a sour taste in his mouth, though he’s unsure why. 

“I guess.” Leo shifts next to him. 

Right. They should probably get moving.

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Donnie decides, looking at him and Leo both.

Raph nods, resisting the urge to look towards the kitchen again. “Good. Now, let’s get you up the stairs, shall we?”

Leo nods, quiet. 

Yeah. Raph’s pretty sure he’s feeling the same right now.

It’s been a week and two days since Leo woke up and he was bored.

Completely and utterly, totally, bored.

The first week was a blur. Waking up, barely being able to stay awake for long periods of time, getting used to solid food, learning he had muscle atrophy, learning Sensei had been… it was a lot going on. Luckily, he didn’t have much memory loss. Only a couple hours have disappeared from his memory. 

Now, he’s starting to feel a bit more normal. He’s slowly moving around more and, with the help of Donnie’s physical therapy regimen, he’s starting to be able to get up more and reawaken his legs. It’s nice.

Sure, it sucks. The world sucks. The Kraang have invaded, there’s a good chance Sensei’s dead, but Leo’s awake and healing. Most of his family and friends are safe and living in the countryside. He could be dead. He could very well have died.

But he didn’t.

If only Raph could understand that!

Leo’s acquainted with worry and what that can do to a person. How it can very quickly turn a person overprotective and clingy. Heck, he can be a bit of a… mother hen… himself! However, Raph’s hovering has been nonstop. 

Leo isn’t as bad as Raph, is he? Raph hardly ever leaves!

It’s touching to know his red brother loves him this much but… he can hardly breathe sometimes. That was part of the reason he wanted a shower yesterday. Leo wanted alone time!

Look where that got him. He understands the precaution but… ugh. 

So, in a desperate attempt to get himself a bit of time without Raph and get Raph a bit of time without him, Leo enlisted Donnie and Mikey’s help. Which got them… to this.

“Don’t move him, Mikey. I’m warning ya,” Raph threatens from the doorway of Leo’s room. Donnie is slowly pulling him away.

Leo is trying so hard not to laugh at the scene.

Mikey crosses his arms. “I won’t, Raph. Now shoo! I got this, chillax.”

Raph mutters something else before pointing his fingers at his eyes and then pointing them at Mikey. Ah, the classic “I’m watching you” sign. Leo coughs in a horrible attempt to stifle his laughter. Raph glares at him as Donnie pulls him from the doorway.

Donnie pokes back in with a nervous smile. “We’ll be gone for a couple hours. Stay safe!”

He leaves just as quickly as he appeared. 

“Why wouldn’t we be safe?” Mikey calls, waving one arm wildly.

Neither of them move until they hear the front door close. That’s when Leo absolutely loses it, laughing so hard his plastron starts to hurt. Mikey seems to laugh with him, if not at him.

Leo hasn’t laughed like that in a long while. It feels good.

“Thanks for doing this, Mikey,” Leo says, grinning at his youngest brother.

“Psh, no problem brah!” Mikey replies plopping down on the end of Leo’s bed, carefully avoiding Leo’s legs. “I know how crazy hovery Raph can get,” he says, letting out what seems like a fond huff.

Leo huffs in turn, amused. “You do, don’t you? We all smother you a little bit.”

Mikey grins at him. “Just a little. Doesn’t bother me, though. I like it. It’s comforting, ya know?”

Thinking back on it, there was a small feeling of comfort from Raph looking after him. Leo hums thoughtfully. “Yeah. I can see that.”

Mikey nods, before pausing. Something falters in his expression. Leo barely picks up on it. He stares at Mikey, hoping to look inviting. It seemed like Mikey wanted to tell him something. Instead, he looks away and stretches, standing up from Leo’s bed.

“Welp! You want to watch Space Heroes? Raph said not to move you but,” Mikey chuckles and spins, looking at Leo mischievously. “He’s not the boss of me,” Mikey whispers, with jazz hands added for dramatic effect.

Leo looks on, confused. Did Mikey not want to tell him something? 

“Yeah, sure,” Leo agrees, somewhat wearily. He is still looking for a sign of the unsure Mikey he saw before. He’s wondering if he imagined it.

Mikey helps him up and to the couch. It’s an awkward and, for some reason, quiet affair. Leo half expects for Mikey to sit practically on top of him, like he usually does to his chosen victim during a movie night. He’s a cuddly person.

Instead, Mikey helps Leo lay out completely on the couch. He turns on Space Heroes with their old VHS tapes (where did he get those?) and takes a seat on the floor, shell towards Leo.

Leo stares. This is weird. 

He remembers yesterday, how flighty Mikey seemed to be. They all thought he was acting weird. And now this?

Something heavy settles in Leo’s gut. There’s something wrong with Mikey.

Leo bites his cheek, turning towards his favorite show. Mikey didn’t want to talk about it, that much was obvious. He has to be patient. If it becomes a problem, they can ask Mikey about it directly.

But he knows that people who don’t want to be helped can’t be helped. They corner him too early and Mikey won’t be receptive to their questions. 

Hopefully he talks soon, though. Leo’s worried. Donnie is as well and, while he won’t say it, Raph is too. 

Maybe mother hen Raph will start splitting time between Leo and Mikey. That would give him some much needed breathing space.

Three episodes in, Leo finds his attention keeps going back to his orange brother. Mikey doesn’t seem to be watching. He’s constantly fidgeting, looking from window to window. Leo frowns.

“You’re not gonna come up here?” 

It’s an offer and an inquiry. A welcome way for Mikey to open up if he wants to.

Mikey turns to him, pausing his fidgeting. His eye ridges are furrowed, mouth half open. He shuts it and Leo can hear the swallow he takes.

“Yeah, I will.”

Leo slowly shifts to place himself in the middle of the couch. He lets his legs rest on the left side of the couch as Mikey climbs up, leaning into Leo on his right side. Leo places a gentle arm on the back of the couch.

As the episodes go on, Mikey sinks into him. It’s very slight and Leo thinks he imagines some of it. But he doesn’t. Mikey seems to finally relax. Leo allows himself a small smile. 

Nice.

It’s in the middle of the seventh episode when Mikey shifts away. Leo sends a questioning glance after him.

“Hey, uh…” Mikey starts, picking at his fingernails. Leo frowns at the messy state his nails are in but says nothing. “Leading and stuff… that’s hard on you, isn’t it?”

Leo stares. He’s sure he looks comical. If he was a cartoon, his eyes would be bulging right now. What? Where is Mikey going with this?

Mikey chuckles. “Sorry, didn’t mean to catch you off guard, bro. Just… realized I never said thank you, I guess,” he mutters, looking away from Leo and slowly leaning back into him.

It takes Leo a couple seconds to recover from the shock of the conversation. He pulls Mikey closer to him, rubbing the younger’s arm.

“It can be stressful, but I’d take on ten times more stress if it meant keeping you guys safe,” Leo softly says. “I do it cause I want to, Mike. I did ask to be leader, didn’t I?”

Mikey nods. “You did. Still… thank you, Leo.”

His eyes sting a bit and Leo leans into Mikey. “Of course.”

They don’t talk again after that. They don’t need to. Even if they didn’t say it, the words ring clearly: I love you.

Leo allows himself to enjoy the time snuggling with Mikey while watching Space Heroes. He mimics some of the characters, Mikey occasionally playing along. It’s a quiet affair.

Casey and April arrive back from the store they went to in the middle of the eleventh episode. Mikey gets up and leaves Leo to watch Space Heroes, eager to help unload the groceries. He can feel Casey’s chaotic energy from here. 

“Hey, Leo,” April says, entering the living room. She has a bag in her hand.

Leo waves. “April.”

“You like Sour Patch Kids, right? I got candy for you and the others. Where are Raph and Donnie, anyway?”

Leo straightens. “Yeah, Sour Patch Kids are great! Thanks, April. And Donnie and Raph should be home soon. They’ve been gone for… almost twelve Space Heroes episodes.”

April throws him his candy, which he almost catches. “What? That’s like three hours, isn’t it? What are they doing out there?”

Leo nods, grabbing and opening the plastic package. “Each episode is twenty minutes, yeah. I have no clue what they’re doing. I just needed a break from Raph.”

The red haired girl snorts. “Too much hovering?”

“Too much hovering,” Leo agrees, popping some Sour Patch Kids into his mouth.

“I’m surprised you’re even allowed on the couch,” April says, leaning on the wall with her arms crossed. “How’d you manage to convince Raph to let you out of confinement?”

Leo opens his mouth to respond, only to get cut off.

“He didn’t.”

Leo curls his Sour Patch Kids closer to his chest and ducks his head a bit. He shoots Raph a sheepish yet unapologetic smile. “Hey, Raph.”

Raph glares at him. Donnie follows in behind him, looking amused at the scene he’s found. 

“Where’s Mikey?” Raph demands while April tries to hide her snickers.

“Kitchen,” she says. Leo gapes at her. She shows no remorse for the fate she has doomed Mikey to.

Leo feels sorry, just a bit. Mikey did this for him, after all. Raph starts to storm towards the kitchen.

“Go easy on him, Raph. I needed this,” Leo calls after him. 

Raph doesn’t acknowledge him but he knows he was heard because Raph’s stomps are suddenly and considerably quieter than before. Leo rolls his eyes and pops another piece of candy into his mouth.

April and Donnie both glance at each other and begin to laugh. Leo tries not to join in out of sympathy for his youngest brother. 

He fails a little bit, if his grin is anything to go by.

Muffled yelling comes from the kitchen, causing the entire room — Leo included — to lose their minds in laughter. Raph storms back to the living room, a Casey Jones close behind. Casey isn’t following by choice, no. Raph has a hand on his shirt collar.

April pauses her laughter at their surprise entrance. “Where’s Mikey?” she asks, a smug smile on her face.

“You better tell me, Jones!” Raph demands, shaking the poor boy. Casey just laughs in response. 

“He’s not in the kitchen?” Donnie asks, obviously perplexed by this development. Leo is too! He pops another piece of candy in his mouth.

“No!” Raph yells, throwing his hands up and accidentally knocking Casey in the face.

“Hey!” Casey yelps, punching Raph’s shoulder. Raph pushes him away in retaliation.

Before it can go any further, Mikey’s voice comes from outside.

“Hey, Raph!” Mikey shouts, waving from the window. He sticks his tongue out when they all turn to look at him.

“How’d he even get out there?!” Raph yells. “Get back here, twerp! You had one job, Mikey! One job!”

Everyone in the room loses it as Raph runs out of the house and after Mikey, who obviously has a head start. 

Leo throws his head back in laughter. Through tears, he yells after Mikey.

“Run, Forest, run!”

That sends the group into another fit of laughter. 

Leo owes Mikey for this later. He grins and looks around at everyone in the room. So worth it.

Chapter Text

A month, a week, and three days since the invasion began, Mikey’s had some revelations about himself. Dimension X has changed him a lot. The first of these revelations came after staying about a week at April’s house. 

Mikey doesn’t know how to sleep anymore.

It started out with a sinking feeling when he woke up outside the house, sun somewhat high in the sky. He hadn’t remembered falling asleep the night before. He remembered staggering out, intent on keeping a watch out for the Kraang.

He had brushed it off, then. But after a couple days of no sleep (not for the lack of trying), he passed out again. This time, it was on the couch. It was a much more feasible place to sleep. However, he fell asleep at 10 in the morning. April had given him an odd look for that one.

When Mikey did try to sleep, he couldn’t. He was so used to running around and never being on empty. His body knew what to do to shut down. His mind did not. The solution he came up with was to literally work himself to exhaustion so he could force his body to make himself sleep.

It ended up in some really weird sleeping places and it most definitely wasn’t healthy, but it got him some sleep. That’s what he needed.

Mikey thought about telling someone, whenever he first realized what he had to do to sleep. This was how he came to revelation number two.

Mikey could not tell anyone about Dimension X.

To any outsider who had knowledge of his situation, it would look like he was making bad decision after bad decision. And under normal circumstances, Mikey would agree. He knows that, logically, he should tell his family about his hard time.

But, also logically, Mikey realizes when some things need to be… put off a bit. 

His family was in no state to hear of his tale about Dimension X and how it was affecting him. During the month Leo was out, Raph and Donnie were hanging on by mere threads. Mikey was the only functioning sibling. 

He guesses now that he could have told Casey and April, but they went out of the house a lot. For what, Mikey didn’t know exactly. Probably looking for news about New York City in other human towns Mikey couldn’t go to, or else he’s sure he would have been invited. Basically, they too had their hands full.

So, no. Mikey couldn’t tell anyone. He found himself brushing off concerned glances from April and Casey during that month. Sometimes he still does. Somehow, someway along this second revelation, Mikey subconsciously decided to isolate himself.

Which led to revelation three, something he realized a week before Leo awoke. Mikey has gained a complicated love/hate relationship with being alone. It goes like this:

Mikey’s alone. His thoughts run rampant, wave of an anxiety after wave of anxiety making him restless. He works around the house, doing something — anything to get the thoughts to chillax a little. It doesn’t work. He goes to hang out with April and Casey, enjoys the break his thoughts get when he is socializing. And then after only about an hour of talking and joking and laughing… Mikey gets tired. Mikey leaves the conversation with some poor excuse. Mikey finds himself alone.

Rinse and repeat, a new cycle was born. It’s one Mikey absolutely hates. He wants to be able to enjoy his friends’ company but no, now he needs breaks. Extrovert turned introvert due to trauma! Not what Mikey wanted! 

And then the fourth revelation. Mikey’s complicated relationship with touch. This one is much more simple than the last, in Mikey’s opinion.

Touch lingers. He hates the fact that it lingers. But, when he leans into it and gets a long amount of it, he loves it. Mikey’s always been a touchy guy. He loves hugs and shoulder pats. Now, it’s just the after feeling he hates.

Touch used to not have an after feeling. It used to be simple. Is this what being touch starved is like?

Whatever. Point is, Mikey has had multiple revelations the past almost a month and a half. He’s sure there’s more he’s missing as well. More signs that show he’s not the same as he used to be. Mikey is sure that he’ll find more as time goes on.

He stares up at the moon. The porch is cold on this warm night. It feels nice.

Yesterday, he was able to finally tell Leo “Thank you” for taking on the burden of being leader. It felt nice. He thinks Leo needed to hear that.

Mikey brings his knees to his plastron. Placing his chin on them, he sighs.

He could probably tell someone now. Leo’s awake and healing, laughing like he hasn’t in a long time. Raph is finally (begrudgingly) leaving Leo’s side, spending more time with the other people in the house. Donnie is actually starting to work inside the house, doing the same as Raph and spending more time outside his own world.

They’re healing. Mikey is watching it happen. It’s beautiful. It’s… scary.

What if Mikey can’t shake the changes he has because of Dimension X? What if he causes problems? What if he’s not able to heal?

What if… what if he tells someone and it messes everyone’s healing up? 

When Mikey got back from Dimension X, his family was whole for what feels like only a split second. And then it was destroyed — shattered, even! Everyone walled themself off and relied on their own devices. It scared him.

They’re healing now. If Mikey tells them everything, it could ruin everything he has right now. He can’t do that. He won’t do that to them.

Mikey’s grip becomes tighter on his arms. He looks away from the moon.

If he doesn’t tell them now, there’s a possibility he never will. He knows that. Is that a risk he’s willing to take?

Sighing, he flops back and onto his shell. He stares at the porch’s roof. 

Yes, Mikey decides. It’s a risk he’s willing to take. He’s keeping his family happy, the one thing he’s literally always wanted. It’ll be hard but…

Mikey loves them. He’ll do anything for the people he loves.

Donnie is a puzzle guy. He loves figuring things out and putting things together. It’s like a game but, when science is involved, harder. It’s challenging. It’s fun!

He’s also a logic guy. He takes comfort in the simple facts. To name a few examples, 2+2 = 4, you can’t breathe in space without proper equipment, Leo’s the leader, Raph’s the emotional one, and Mikey’s the wild card. These are logical things, having been proved time and time again.

Maybe that’s why Dimension X freaked him out so much. The different physics made his always trustworthy facts not so trustworthy, and not really facts at all. 

Did the Kraang’s technology even have a rhyme or reason?!

Donnie resists the urge to bang his head on the table. He has been trying to translate some of this code for days and has gotten practically nowhere. 

New facts and new rules… super fascinating when Donnie isn’t trying to crack them!!

He leans back in his chair and rubs his hands over his face. Just his luck, getting stuck like this at about two in the morning.

“Whatcha up to, Dee?”

Donnie yelps, falling out of his chair. “Mikey!” he hisses from the floor, one leg still in his chair.

Mikey stares down at him, grinning wildly. “My bad.” He shows no remorse.

Donnie mumbles “Yeah, right,” under his breath, pulling himself up and into his chair again. “What are you doing up?”

He doesn’t miss the way Mikey seems to tense at the question. Donnie raises an eye ridge as Mikey sits down with a shrug.

“Couldn’t sleep, I guess,” Mikey says nonchalantly. Donnie squints at him, which Mikey obviously ignores. “Anyways! What are you doing? Can I help?”

Donnie almost laughs. It’s not uncommon for Mikey to want to help him out. He used to be his assistant in the lab for certain projects. But Donnie is working on coding and language. How could Mikey help there?

He shakes his head. “Thank you but no, you can’t help. I’m currently stuck trying to figure out this Kraang tech but I’ve hit a block. I think I may go to bed, just to save my sanity,” Donnie jokes.

Mikey hums. He doesn’t seem to acknowledge Donnie’s joke, which is weird. Mikey’s the king of jokes. Donnie sucks at them. Why didn’t he say anything?

“Lemme see,” Mikey says, pulling the Kraang tech over so they both can see.

That was bold of him. If Donnie was less tired, he’d fight Mikey over that move. Instead, he just huffs and scoots his chair closer to Mikey. Him looking couldn’t hurt, right?

Mikey hums again, causing Donnie to glance at him. His orange brother looks so… serious? That can’t be right…

Mikey points at a word and then points to a second one in a different window on screen. Donnie narrows his gaze at that, trying to see what Mikey sees.

“Same, same, same, different,” Mikey mutters under his breath. Donnie isn’t even sure he’s aware he’s doing it. Still, it clues him in on what his younger brother is doing.

Patterns. Mikey is looking for patterns.

Donnie begins his own search, scanning for symbols that create the word Mikey is currently searching for as Mikey keeps mumbling beside him. He’s never known Mikey to think out loud like this and it’s a bit concerning, but Donnie sometimes does the same. 

It’s probably nothing.

Soon enough, Mikey finds a match. He straightens from his hunched over posture. Donnie stares wide eyed.

“What’s this one mean?” Mikey asks.

Donnie blinks out of his stupor. “Right, uh. It’s… hm. It means ‘import’. Which means…”

Donnie slides the tech closer to him. It seems to be regular code, like one would use on Earth but in Kraang-script. But this is something he already knew, to an extent. This extra information gets him nowhere. He sighs.

“Nope. Just proves a theory I was already working with, that it’s a line of code,” Donnie informs Mikey.

Mikey snorts at him and pulls the tech back over. Um, what? Donnie narrows his eyes at Mikey.

“Since when do the Kraang ever use anything organized?” Mikey asks, though it sounds rhetorical, so Donnie doesn’t answer. “They only use it in their written language.”

Donnie nods at that. He knew that, he’s practically fluent in Kraang-script. “What are you getting at, Mikey?” he questions, slightly annoyed.

“Again, they only organize their written language,” Mikey answers. “The Kraang don’t use coding. So why does this look like code?”

Donnie hums, bringing a hand to his chin as Mikey continues to look through the Kraang tech. “Are you saying… that this isn’t code at all? It just looks like it is?”

“You tell me,” Mikey replies with a smug smile. He pushes over the screen and points at the very top of the screen. “That says Kraang.”

Donnie nods, impressed that Mikey even knows what the word “Kraang” looks like in Kraang-script. Wait, how did he know that?

He doesn’t get a chance to ask as Mikey scrolls to the bottom of the “code”.

“And this also says Kraang,” Mikey states, now pointing to the bottom of the screen. “And if all Kraang’s are named Kraang… then what does this look like when compared to Earthly writing formats?”

Donnie stares. A name at the top and a name at the bottom… what would that be? Oh. Oh!

He snatches the technology from Mikey. “It’s a letter!” Donnie practically screeches, eyes inches from the screen. Mikey laughs at him, which makes Donnie turn and look at his younger brother. “Mikey, you are a genius. I mean it.”

His orange brother’s laughter stops. He doesn’t seem to know what to do with the compliment, just like on the roof when they left Dimension X. Donnie feels another thing crack inside of him.

Slowly, he grabs Mikey’s hand and squeezes. 

“I mean it,” he repeats. “You have no idea how long I was looking at this, completely lost on how to keep translating.”

Mikey gives him a shy smile before taking his hand back. “Thanks, Dee. Anyways, I’ve gotta get to bed, you know?” He yawns exaggeratedly. “Super tired!”

Donnie smirks at him. “Sure, Mike, whatever you say. I’m bragging about you tomorrow!” he calls as Mikey exits the room, chuckling at the nervous laugh he gets in response.

He looks back at his coded letter. He should probably go to bed, as well. It’ll be easier to translate with a well rested brain-

Wait a second. Wait a second!

“Mikey!” Donnie nearly shouts as he rushes up and out of his chair. “Mikey, how did you know how to… translate… the code…” he trails off.

He stands in the hallway, more confused than ever. The hallway where Mikey should still be is empty. 

Donnie frowns. Where could he have gone?

He turns and makes his way back to the table, slowly packing up his things while biting his lip. How did Mikey know how to translate Kraang-script? It is possible he picked up the word “Kraang” from Donnie and how he used to watch him in Donnie’s lab but…

Even Donnie didn’t know about the letter formatting. He didn’t know the Kraang used that. So how could Mikey unless… he figured it out himself?

Donnie pauses his packing. But that makes no sense! When would he have been able to figure that out? Donnie has always handled the technology mysteries — it’s his thing! Did Mikey keep it a secret from him? Did he use some technology without Donnie’s knowledge?

No, that’s impossible. Donnie has his tech under lock and key so… Donnie feels himself grow pale.

It would have to have been when Mikey didn’t have Donnie around. Mikey would have figured out what he did in Dimension X.

Shakily, Donnie sits down in a chair. He interlocks his fingers and puts them under his mouth, elbows on the table. 

Mikey doesn’t ever talk about Dimension X. It makes sense why Donnie never learned this crucial information about Kraang-script and how they write their language. What doesn’t make sense is why.

Why does Mikey not talk about Dimension X? When would he have had to learn any amount of Kraang-script? How… how long was he there to have the need to learn any Kraang-script?

These were questions Donnie should have asked long ago. He remembers the five million questions he had when he first saw Mikey, cloaked in animal fur of some sort and a Kraang skull on his head like a helmet. But life happened and he forgot.

He shouldn’t have. Donnie glances towards the hallway; new what ifs and worries begin to form and sear into his brain. He really shouldn’t have.

Mikey’s been acting weird the past two weeks Leo has been up, as well. They’ve all noticed it. He wonders if it’s been going on this whole time and they only noticed now because they’re finally spending time together again.

Not staying in the same room as long, being found “napping” in really random places, seemingly avoiding touch, being on the defensive, always looking alert…

It’s like a puzzle, clicking together piece by piece. It’s painting a picture. He isn’t sure he likes it.

Donnie loves puzzles. He thinks he hates this one.

Chapter Text

Ok so, Casey Jones considers himself pretty good at reading emotions. He’s got a knack for it, ya know? He can read people’s emotional aura pretty perfectly. So he thinks it’s safe to say that Donnie probably doesn’t like him. 

Just a little bit.

However! Within the past month, week, and four days they have all been trapped together Casey can also confidently say that the animosity there has died down a smidge. And he’s not gonna lie, that’s helped him calm down around Donnie too.

Sure, they’re both still somewhat fighting for April. It’s whatever. They don’t hate each other anymore and that’s a good thing. They can be bros and not kill each other over a girl… hopefully. It would be a really lame way to go, fighting over a girl. So Casey’s determined to not let that happen!

Which brings him to earlier this morning. Again, Casey’s an emotional genius. He knows what he’s doing. He’s cool like that.

The turtle in purple, however, was very uncool this morning. Not because he said or did anything uncool, he was just very skittish. To Casey, he looked super anxious.

This changed when Donnie noticed his sneaky and 100% stealthy stare, of course. Quickly, the turtle became annoyed and then left the house. If Casey had to guess, he was going to hide out in the farm out back.

Still, it was weird. He understood the dim moods whenever Leo was comatose because, yeah, that definitely sucked. Still sucks, in his opinion, since Leo hobbles around like a grandpa now. 

But Donnie’s mood was a huge change from yesterday and, from the look the two brothers in red and blue shared, it was a concerning one. Casey Jones, emotional detective, was on a roll!

Even Red looked concerned, which totally didn’t spark a bit of jealousy. No, not one bit. He was trying to be concerned for his rival, it would be counterintuitive to get jealous over this. However, the only person who didn’t look concerned was…

The chef! The one and only Michelangelo!

Casey would be so good in a murder mystery, wouldn’t he? 

Mikey definitely stared after Donnie in what seemed like confusion at first glance… which is why Casey took two glances! On the second glance, he noticed certain things. Like how tight Mikey was gripping his utensils and how strained his smile was the rest of breakfast. Essentially, Mikey was nervous. 

Casey Jones could put two and two together. He knows what’s happening.

Donnie’s worried about something he doesn’t want the others to know about, except Mikey knows about it! And Mikey’s trying not to spill the beans!

Well, that just won’t do. Casey is a good friend, so he’s going to see how he can help Mikey keep a secret by getting him to share it. Two people holding the same secret means it’ll be easier on the conscience, right?

Ha, just kidding!

Really, though, he doesn’t know how to emotionally bond with Donnie. Going through Mikey is his closest bet to helping out his friend/rival/teammate. Maybe he won’t make Mikey spill the beans, no, but he’ll at least ask him if Donnie’s ok. That way he can say he tried, in some backwards sort of way.

It’s the thought that counts, right?

Besides, if the secret of what’s bothering Donnie does get spilled, there’s no need to worry. Casey is a master secret keeper. He has four mutant turtle friends, does he not? He sorta has to be the best secret keeper around to not tell everyone how absolutely awesome his friends are.

Either way, it’s a win win. And Casey Jones likes winning. He also gets to hang out with Mikey, which is just an extra bonus. He’s a funky dude!

“Hey Red?”

April looks over from the couch she’s reading a magazine on. “What?”

“There’s a cow pasture near here, right? Through the forest about a mile or so?” Casey asks, pointing out back with his thumb.

April narrows her eyes at him. “Yes… you’re not going to do anything stupid, right Jones?”

Casey laughs at her and pushes himself off the couch. “No, O’Neil.” He raises his right hand. “I solemnly swear to be the mature teenager I am.”

April rolls her eyes. “Yeah right. What are you going to do out there, anyways?” she asks, returning her gaze to her magazine.

“Me and Mikey are gonna go have some bro time,” he responds as he walks over to the corner where his hockey stick lays. He picks it up and tosses it from one hand to the next. “I think it’ll be fun for the both of us.”

April hums in agreement. “He does seem more on edge lately,” she murmurs.

Casey blinks and thinks back through the past month and a half. Huh, Mikey has been a bit weirder than usual. How’d he not catch that?

“Never fear, Red. Good Ol’ Casey Jones is on the case. He probably just needs to relax a little!” 

April nods slowly, before looking up from her magazine and at Casey. “Yeah, you’re right. Don’t stay out too long, though. Mikey’s practically the designated cook.”

He snorts at that. “Will do.” Casey salutes April before walking to the front door. Opening it, he takes a deep breath in and hollers “Mikey!”

From inside the house, he hears Raph tell him to shut up. Casey laughs at that as he steps out onto the porch, Mikey coming around the side of the house.

“What’s up, dude?” the orange clad turtle asks, adjusting his mask. He looks tired.

“Were you sleeping out here?” Casey asks as the door closes. He shakes his head. “Actually, never mind. We, my friend, are going on an adventure!” he announces, lifting his hockey stick up in the air.

Mikey grins, stretching his arms out in front of him. “Really? Where to?”

Casey hops down the front steps. He pokes Mikey’s plastron. “That’s for me to know and you to find out. Now come on!”

He dashes towards the forest, Mikey following close behind. Casey jumps over a log, grinning as he runs. The wind in his hair feels so nice! Mikey jumps over the log with him, grinning just as wildly. 

Casey sees a downed tree that seems troubling to jump over. He speeds up and readies himself. What can he say? He likes a challenge!

“Goongala!” Casey yells as he propels himself over the dead tree. 

Mikey laughs as he does the same. The turtle then sprints up ahead, jumping up the big trees and then flipping off one with a loud “Booyakasha!”

Casey whoops as Mikey lands, his shoulder clashing against Mikey’s as he runs past. Mikey chases after him, pushing him back. This causes them both to push each other back and forth, huffing and laughing until they reach the edge of the forest. Mikey reaches the fence first, of course. 

“Take that,” Mikey says, holding an “L” to his forehead. 

Casey rolls his eyes. “Pfft, you only won because of your mutant DNA. Cheater!”

Mikey gasps dramatically at that, elbowing Casey in the ribs and causing Casey to laugh again. It’s good to see Mikey so goofy. He didn’t realize it was missing until April said what she did, and he didn’t realize he was missing it until he was experiencing it.

“Where are we, anyway?” Mikey asks, looking out of the forest.

“Somewhere cool,” Casey boasts. 

He climbs over the rickety fence, tongue sticking out in concentration. He doesn’t want any splinters. Mikey hops over in pursuit.

“A field,” Mikey states, seemingly unimpressed. “I’m so very excited. This journey has been so fulfilling.”

Casey snorts and brushes off his hands. He waggles his finger in Mikey’s face. “You have spent too much time with Raph, young man.” 

He doesn’t miss the way Mikey tenses and turns away from him. Casey frowns. Is there something wrong with Raph, too?

“Actually, I have something to ask you,” Casey tells Mikey as he slowly makes his way deeper into the cow pasture, being very careful about where he’s stepping. 

Mikey follows his lead, looking at the ground with extra care that seems so… unlike Mikey, now that Casey thinks about it. He looks back to the ground in front of him.

“Oh? What’s up?” Mikey responds, his voice more shakey than usual. He has to be nervous about something.

“Is uh…” Casey trails off, unsure how to phrase this. Asking about Donnie would be weird coming from him, wouldn’t it. He sighs and decides to man up. “Is Donnie ok?” Casey asks, pausing and turning to Mikey.

Mikey stares at him, seemingly bewildered. “What?”

Casey shrugs, beginning to move forward again. “He seemed off at breakfast today. Everyone else seemed really concerned but you just seemed nervous,” he says. “I thought you’d know what was up with him. You don’t have to tell me, I just want to make sure he’s ok.”

Mikey hums from behind him. “Oh. Uh, I actually don’t know for sure what he’s upset about,” he mutters. “But, um, he was working on translating a Kraang letter last night! Maybe that’s it?” 

He feels a bit bummed Mikey doesn’t know what’s actually going on. “Maybe,” he admits. “But he’d tell us if he was worried about the Kraang. And he looked really worried.”

Mikey doesn’t respond to that. 

Casey places his hockey stick over his shoulders and allows his arms to hang off it. He hopes he didn’t permanently ruin the mood of this hang out. Sure, he wanted to see if Donnie was ok, but he also wanted to genuinely hang out with Mikey. 

He keeps walking until he realizes Mikey isn’t following him. He pauses and turns. Mikey’s biting his nail, staring at the ground.

Huh. Casey’s never seen him do that before.

“We should go back,” Mikey says after he realizes Casey is staring at him. He brings his hand down to his side, where his nunchucks lay on his belt. 

“What?”

Mikey huffs. “You’re right, Donnie is really worried,” he says, his hand twitching and his gaze towards lingering in the house’s direction. “What if it is the Kraang and we’re not there to help? Leo’s down, Raph will be protecting him so there’ll be less backup, April’s only… what? Half way through her ninja training? There’s a chance it won't end well.”

And Casey can’t say much to that. He stares at Mikey who looks so… serious. He’s right, of course, but the possibility of that happening is so low. Ok, maybe not very low, but still low.

And yet Mikey’s thought about it. Casey frowns before forcing what he hopes is an easy going smile.

“C’mon, man. Lighten up! Like I said, if it was the Kraang, Donnie would have said something.” Mikey looks at him. “We’re good. Besides, we haven’t found our main objective yet!”

Casey turns and starts moving forward, hearing Mikey do the same. “You’re right,” Mikey replies, though it doesn’t sound like he believes it.

They walk for a couple more minutes in silence. It bothers Casey. Mikey is rarely this silent. 

Maybe… maybe he was wrong. Maybe he had it backwards. Maybe Donnie wasn’t the one with a problem that Mikey knows about. Maybe it’s Mikey with a problem that Donnie knows about.

Casey takes a sneaky look over his shoulder. Mikey’s face is grim and he notices the look Casey casts, despite Casey’s best efforts. He immediately smiles at him, but it’s klunky. Casey

smiles back regardless.

“So!” Mikey starts, speeding up so he’s side by side with Casey. “What is our objective? It’s probably hard searching for it alone,” Mikey coos, a smirk on his face. 

It clashes with the fear in his eyes — the fear Casey now recognizes. He decides not to mention it, for now.

“What? You can’t guess?” Casey replies back, grinning smugly. “You’re not that slow, Mikey. I know that much.”

Mikey coughs a laugh. “Fine, I guess I’ll guess. Can I have hints though? Pretty please?” He blinks rapidly in Casey’s direction, a pout on his face.

Casey grins and shoves Mikey away, relishing the squeak Mikey gives out. “Your younger sibling tricks won’t work on me, turtle! I am a strong older sibling!”

“But Casey,” Mikey whines, pulling on Casey’s hockey stick. “I’m a city boy! All my knowledge is from obscure media! How can I possibly guess without a hint?”

He laughs and rips his hockey stick out of Mikey’s hands. He grins evilly and leans in close. “Suffer,” he whispers, laughing as Mikey shoves his face away.

“Ugh! You’re breath stinks, dude! Ever heard of hygiene?!” Mikey yelps, smiling widely once again. 

See? Casey fixed their adventure!

“Oh, now you’re definitely not getting a hint!” Casey smacks Mikey’s shoulder playfully. 

“Good, I didn’t want your mouth open anyway. I was slowly suffocating from its poisonous gas.” Mikey fake gags

Casey gasps dramatically before closing in on Mikey and blowing his breath all over Mikey’s face. Mikey’s laughter is music to his ears.

There’s no way this could go wrong now!

Mikey shoves him away, plugging his nose and waving a hand in front of his face to fan away the leftover smell. Casey smirks at him. The orange turtle deepens his stance, narrowing his eyes and smirking back.

Aw yeah! Staring contest!

Brown eyes zero in on blue. Casey stares, sticking his tongue out and wiggling it around to try and get Mikey to crack. Mikey stays stone still. Casey’s eyes begin to water but he has got to win this!

“Moo.”

Mikey whips his head away, blinking rapidly. Casey cheers. He won!

“In your face, Mi— uh, Mikey?”

The orange turtle is staring at a cow that is about 15 ft away. He looks… troubled, somehow. Casey’s nerves flare.

“I see you’ve found our objective,” Casey whispers, taking down his hockey stick from his shoulders to place an arm around Mikey’s shoulders. “Cool, huh?”

Mikey doesn’t acknowledge him. Doesn’t even blink. He just starts walking forward. Casey swallows the nervous lump in his throat.

This is way beyond Mikey weird.

He follows Mikey out of worry and curiosity. How did a cow affect him this much? Why is a cow affecting him this much? Should… should Casey say something?

He’s never been around an upset Mikey. He’s heard it’s as rare as a solar eclipse. What is he supposed to do? Maybe his brothers would know?

There’s no way he can call them now, though, standing four feet away from a cow. Mikey slowly moves forward.

Now, Casey isn’t an expert in cow behavior, but he knows a nervous animal when he sees it. The cows in front of them are moving their hooves nervously, as if pacing. There’s a couple “moos” from the back of the herd.

“Mikey,” he whispers, hoping the warning comes across.

Mikey glances at him and then at the cows again. He holds out a hand to Casey, as if to say wait, before slowly creeping forward again.

Casey resists the urge to facepalm. Cows can be dangerous! Has Mikey never heard of people being trampled?

Actually, the answer is probably no. Mikey just mentioned how obscure his knowledge of stuff outside the city is. 

“Mikey!” Casey hisses once again as one of the cows snort.

That’s when Mikey freezes. He’s still about three feet away from the cow in front of him, the animal having moved back as Mikey approached. He seems to finally take in the surroundings around him.

About time!

Mikey takes a single step backwards, hands up placatingly. “Cows are harmless,” he whispers.

Casey shakes his head in disbelief. As soon as Mikey’s close enough, he grabs Mikey’s arm and pulls him away from the cows.

“No, they’re not!” he reprimands because he is nothing but an older brother. “What were you thinking, huh?” He slaps the back of Mikey’s head lightly.

And, somehow, that was the worst move he made all day. 

Mikey violently shoves Casey away. He nearly falls over from the force. “I was thinking that cows were harmless!” he shouts, startling the herd. 

The cows run away from him and Mikey both. Casey’s just glad they didn’t attack. He stares at Mikey for the outburst. 

What? He wants to fight? Well, Casey knows how to fight!

“Well they’re not!” Casey roars back. He points to where the cows were with his hockey stick. “You could have been trampled or skewered!”

Mikey shakes his head as if in disbelief. “Wha- n- then why did you even bring me here, dude?!” he snaps, taking a couple steps forward. “If it’s so dangerous, why are we here?!”

“To look!” Casey defends, pointing to his eyes. “Look! See and not touch!! I figured you’d like to get out of the house a small bit! What,” Casey laughs bitterly, “Did you think they were going to be your friends or something?!”

Mikey takes a step back as if slapped. He glares at Casey with a ferocity he’s only seen directed at enemies. He looks away after a second to stare at the ground, hands clenched into fists. Are… are his eyes watering?!

Casey blinks, anger still boiling underneath his skin. He tries to cool it.

“You did,” he says, trying to not sound like he’s judging Mikey too hard. He runs a hand through his hair and turns to look at the horizon, before pinching the bridge of his nose and looking back at Mikey. “In what world would cows like that be friendly?”

He’s not really expecting an answer. He’s really not expecting the answer he gets in response.

“Dimension X,” Mikey snaps, before his face turns sour, as if he said something he didn’t want to.

Casey stares, eyes wide. Neither of them move. It’s their staring contest all over again except, this time, the mood is not fun. 

Dimension X… he knows that name. Horror drips over him like slow slime. That’s the home of the Kraang.

“You went to Dimension X?” he asks, his voice barely audible to even his own ears. Mikey looks away.

His hands are shaking. Casey swallows another lump in his throat. That’s two too many for today. Mikey’s silence is all the confirmation he needs.

It also confirms something else. It confirms that whatever happened to Mikey in Dimension X was bad — bad enough to cause this Raph-like outburst.

Wait. Wait, Donnie was acting weird at breakfast. Casey deduced it was because he knows something about Mikey, so…

“Donnie knows?” 

Mikey shrugs, giving Casey a really fake smile. He frowns at it. “Somewhat. He knows I was there.”

Casey finishes his sentence when it’s clear Mikey isn’t going to continue. “But he doesn’t know what happened there.”

Mikey grimaces. 

Well. Things just got a whole lot more complicated. 

Casey digs his hockey stick in the ground and then pulls it out, trying to think of what to say. Mikey obviously didn’t want to talk about Dimension X. That much was clear when he said that even Donnie doesn’t know what happened in Dimension X.

He decides to go a different route.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Casey mumbles. “I was just worried.”

Mikey nods, rubbing his own arm. “I’m sorry too.”

He doesn’t say what for, but Casey accepts the apology anyways. He knows Mikey’s “sorry” probably covers everything that happened today.

“Can you not mention this to my bros?” 

Casey blinks at Mikey. His gut twists uncomfortably. Maybe Mikey doesn’t want to talk about whatever happened in Dimension X, but… if this outburst was anything to go by… 

He needs to talk to someone.

Casey starts walking back to the house. He sighs. “I’m willing to make a deal with you, dude.”

Mikey straightens and slowly follows along. Casey waits till he’s by his side. “What is it?” Mikey asks, nervousness overtaking his features. 

He won’t like this. 

Casey levels him with a stern look. “You have got to talk to someone. I know you don’t want to, but you have to. I want you to promise me you’ll talk to someone before a week ends, ok? Doesn’t have to me, or Donnie, but it has to be someone.”

He jumps over the fence, nearly ripping his jeans because he got caught on the side. Luckily, he gains no splinters. He looks back up to Mikey, still on the other side of the fence and chewing his lip. Casey holds out his hand.

“Deal?”

Mikey looks up at him. It’s clear he doesn’t want to make the deal. He pushes Casey’s hand aside and jumps the fence. Casey ignores the disappointment and worry that swells up in him.

“I don’t want to worry them, or you, dude,” Mikey lightly argues as he begins to trudge through the forest.

Casey groans. “But they’re already worried, Mikey! Like, I don’t know, Donnie this morning? Or how about me, right now?”

Mikey glances at him. “Ok, let’s say I don’t take the deal—“

“Then I’ll tell everybody what happened out here,” Casey states, speeding up his pace. He passes Mikey who lets out a squawk, which would be funny under any other circumstance.

“You can’t do that!” Mikey retorts, stepping into stride with Casey. 

He shrugs and lifts an eyebrow at Mikey. Is that a challenge?

“Casey,” Mikey half whines and half warns as Casey starts walking faster. “You can’t.”

Jumping over the dead tree Casey starts running. Mikey’s faster than him, he knows, but maybe he can at least make it to the tree line to make some eye catching chaos.

“Watch me!” he calls over his shoulder.

It isn’t long before he hears Mikey chasing him. It’s honestly kinda scary?

Casey knows that forcing someone to talk

isn’t the best idea. He’s not an idiot, contrary to what Donnie may say. But his friend is suffering! He needs to talk to someone. It’s not like he’s forcing him to talk right away, either. He has a whole seven days if he takes the deal!

And, unfortunately, it looks like he isn’t going to talk on his own volition.

“Casey Jones!” Mikey roars from behind him.

Oops! Did he poke the bear and make it mad?

Oh well. He has anger issues too. Plus, he’s friends with Raph, of all people. He can deal with anger… even if Mikey’s is particularly concerning since it is very much out of character.

Casey doesn’t even think about responding. That would slow him down. He keeps running. He jumps over the final log and out of the forest.

“Le-Oomf!” 

Mikey crashes into him from behind. They start wrestling on the ground.

“Don’t you dare!” Mikey shouts, though it’s quieter than before. 

Casey is struggling to get Mikey’s hands off his mouth. He narrows his eyes. Mikey can’t keep him like this forever! He licks Mikey’s hand and cringes. Oh, ew! Bad idea, bad idea!

Casey, after a minute of struggling, is able to push Mikey off. He crawls forward army style.

“Don-“

“Casey!” This time, Mikey is begging him.

He locks eyes with the orange turtle. He hopes it conveys the message of “make the deal” since Mikey is covering his mouth once again.

Mikey can hate him all he wants for this. Casey Jones has no remorse for helping a friend in need! It’ll be good for him in the long run!

Casey flips them over to where he’s on top of Mikey and Mikey’s on his shell. 

“Raph!” he yells, between Mikey’s hands. 

Mikey freezes. “Ok, ok! Fine! Just don’t tell them!”

Casey allows Mikey to push him off, crumpling on the grass to take a breather. Mikey does the same but avoids looking at him.

Casey turns his gaze to the sky. No regrets.

“Don’t tell me what?” Raph asks, suddenly above Casey. He yells and scrambles up. Mikey looks unperturbed.

“Uh, nothing!” he lies and he knows it’s not convincing. “We just maybe sorta scared the cows… after I told April I was going to be a mature teenager…” Casey pokes his fingers together.

Raph surveys him, as if trying to see if he’s lying. Technically, he’s not! He’s telling the truth… in a way.

“You’re both idiots,” Raph decides. He holds out his hand to Casey, helping him up.

“If we’re the idiots then I don’t even want to know what you are, Raph,” Mikey teases, already standing.

Casey’s eyes widen in surprise. He looks like nothing happened, like he’s the same old Mikey from before. It makes him realize why he never questioned if Mikey was ok before.

He’s a good actor.

Raph smacks Mikey on the back of the head. Mikey shoots him a wounded look. 

“You asked for it,” Raph says with a shrug, failing to hide a fond grin.

Mikey mocks him under his breath, running when Raph starts to chase him for it. Their laughter echoes through the air.

Casey smiles despite everything that happened. Maybe Mikey has a lot going on, but he’ll heal. The fact that he can still laugh is proof of that. 

Raph tackles Mikey, the latter probably tuckered out from their own wrestling and chasing. Raph swats at Mikey like a cat, Mikey blocking with his forearms. 

“Go Mikey!” Leo yells from the window, April peering over his shoulder.

“Go Raph!” she cheers, laughing all the while.

Casey’s smile grows wider.

Chapter Text

Something’s going on in April’s house and she’s going to get to the bottom of it.

It’s been two full weeks since Leo woke up. In that time, there were plenty of welcome changes. For example, Raph and Donnie began to socialize like the sentient beings they are. That was great! 

However, whatever wonderful cloud of peace that fell over the house for the first week and a half Leo was awake was gone. 

Donnie was back in the barn, looking distressed whenever he was present. Raph was beginning to get antsy, trying to ask Donnie if they could speed Leo’s healing up somehow. Casey was more annoying than usual and — and Mikey was the weirdest of all!

Now, April hasn’t ever seen Mikey truly angry. There’s been times where she’s sure she’s seen him close to full out anger, but him actually being the angriest he can be? No, April doesn’t have any memories of a truly angry Mikey.

Except… for the past three days Mikey has been glaring at Casey nonstop. He’s been borderline passive agressive to the other boy and immediately switches tones if anyone seems to catch on. Not that many did.

Actually, the only reason April recognized there was tension in the first place is because she can sorta just… sense those things! And it wouldn’t be a problem if both boys decided to work their problems out amicably.

They weren’t. It’s been three days of this nonsense. April’s had enough. She wants the peaceful atmosphere back. She wants answers!

She thinks she knows how to get them.

April plops down on the couch next to the one Leo’s on as he stretches his arms. Space Heroes plays on the TV in the background. Leo eyes her as she joins him. She hasn’t done this in a while, chilling with him.

She decides to wait until the current episode is over before asking any of her thousand questions. But Leo must know something is up, because he turns to her first when the episode finally shuts off.

“You have been glancing at me throughout this whole episode,” he states, giving her a look that tells her she should say what’s on her mind.

April turns more towards him, eager to speak what’s on her mind. “Something’s going on with everyone. You see it too, right?”

Leo blinks at her before shaking his head. “Not really? I’m stuck here or in my room all day, and occasionally the table for dinner. I’m left out of the loop.”

Internally April groans. She’d hoped to have someone on her side throughout all this. Maybe after she explains Leo will understand better.

“Ok, I’ll tell you then,” she says and Leo nods, his attention fully on her now as he pauses the next episode of Space Heroes. “First off, Raph’s getting antsy. He wants to speed up your healing process, despite healing definitely not working like that.”

Leo huffs in what she thinks is amusement. “No surprise there. He’s not the patient type.”

April nods. “True, but it’s becoming more apparent. He’s not who I’m worried about though. Second is Donnie. He’s holed himself in the barn again like — uh, when you were… unconscious,” April ends softly.

If Leo’s bothered by the mention of his coma, he doesn’t show it. 

“That is a little weird,” Leo admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “He usually does that when he’s stressed about something.”

“Exactly!” April exclaims, waving a hand. “He also looks more stressed when we do see him, too. You’ve seen that, haven’t you?”

Leo moves his hand as a “so-so” gesture. “A little. Mainly he’s annoying me by making sure I know my own stretches. He’s been more… pushy with it the last few days, though.”

April cheers internally. So he has noticed something! “I started noticing this stuff three days ago, too. And that isn’t all.”

Leo raises an eye ridge. “What? There’s more?”

“This is the weirdest one yet,” she tells him, looking over her shoulder and leaning in. “Mikey’s mad.”

And that… that gets Leo’s attention. He shifts a bit closer.

“What do you mean Mikey’s mad?” he asks, concern written all over his features. “Mikey’s rarely ever mad.”

“I know! But you should see him. Whenever he thinks no one is looking, he sends a death glare to — get this — Casey!”

Leo shakes his head in disbelief. “No way…”

April nods vigorously and leans back, waving her hand in a circular motion. “It’s so weird. He can get passive aggressive with him, too. Everytime I catch him doing it, though, it’s like he flips a switch and turns back into happy-go-lucky Mikey.”

Leo hums, bringing a hand to his chin in thought. “That… does sound a bit like Mikey. He’s rarely ever been truly mad, though. Do you know why…?”

April sighs and sinks into the couch. She stares at the ceiling. “I wish. I mean, if I had to guess, something must have happened when they came back from the cow pasture three… days ago…” She bolts upright and looks at Leo. “You don’t think…”

“That they’re connected?” Leo finishes. “It’s definitely plausible. But how does Donnie fit into Mikey being mad at Casey?”

“Maybe because Casey originally took Mikey out to ask about Donnie,” she says. Leo sends her a confused look. “Casey noticed how different Donnie was acting the morning he started distancing himself. He thought that Mikey knew what was bothering Donnie and set out to ask Mikey about it!”

Leo blinks. “Why not just ask Donnie himself?”

April shrugs and gives the only answer she has. “Boys.”

The boy turtle in front of her gives her an exasperated look. She smiles cheekily at him.

“I feel like we’re still missing pieces of the puzzle,” Leo murmurs, trying to ignore her previous answer. April allows him to do so.

“Probably,” she agrees with a shrug, smile falling. “What should we do about it?”

The blue turtle stares at her. She waits for him to say something.

“I don’t know. I’ll let you know if I see anything, though.”

April blinks. “Oh.” She’s not sure why she’s disappointed by the answer. “That’s ok, I’ll figure something out. They’ve just been driving me nuts. I can literally feel their tension sometimes.”

Leo shoots her a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help more.”

“It’s ok,” she sighs. “You need to focus on healing, anyways.” She glances to the TV. “Mind if I watch with you?”

Leo smiles at her, even if it looks a bit confused. “Sure? But I thought you had a mission in mind,” he lightly teases, pressing play on the remote.

April shushes him playfully. “I do, I just don’t know where to start. Maybe Space Heroes can help me brainstorm.”

Leo laughs at her. “That’s where I get all my ideas from!” he jokes, pointing at his own forehead.

“We’re lucky to be alive, then,” April drawls, her eyes catching Leo’s dark blue ones.

They both bust out laughing.

Sure, maybe she’s a little curious about what’s going on in the house. And, yeah, she doesn’t know where to necessarily start in finding out what is happening. But she wasn’t entirely truthful on why she’s staying to watch Leo’s stupid cartoon.

It’s because April’s missed Leo, just like everyone else has.

Space Heroes plays its theme and opens the episode. The first character on screen just so happens to be clothed in purple. Her eyes widen.

Huh. Maybe Leo wasn’t kidding about Space Heroes giving him ideas. She thinks she knows who to talk to first!

Despite her realization, she allows herself to sink into the couch further. Right now, she’s spending time with a friend she almost lost. The house won’t burn itself down if she takes a small break in her “detective work”, right?

Right?

Raph grunts as he throws another swing at an invisible enemy. He’s training alone, again. This is the fourth day in a row he hasn’t had a sparring partner, and Raph has an idea of why.

See, his normal sparring partner is the one and only Casey Jones. It helps them both get their energy out and manage their anger. They’re each other’s anger management buddy. 

And three days ago his buddy lied to him.

Let it be known that Casey Jones sucks at lying. He has very easy tells. He doesn’t give eye contact, he curls his limbs closer to his chest, and he gives this weird smile that doesn’t reach his eyes when he lies. And Jones knows Raph knows his tells.

So whenever Casey lied to him, straight to his face, four days ago… Raph knew and Raph let it slide. It wasn’t his business, it was Casey’s and Mikey’s. He knows if it’s important it will come out eventually.

However, that was the mindset he had four days ago. Casey has been avoiding him like the plague ever since lying to Raph. He’s starting to think whatever Mikey didn’t want him to know was important.

Extremely so.

Enough so that Jones had bailed on their training four times now so he could keep his mouth shut. Well, that’s not happening today.

Raph pauses his workout. Yeah, that’s not happening today! If Casey wants to keep his mouth shut, fine. Raph will begrudgingly deal with that. But this whole avoiding him thing? Not gonna slide any longer!

He walks inside the house, swinging the door open. Raph’s a man on a mission. Leo jumps at his sudden entrance from his place on the floor. His older brother seems to be stretching his legs.

Good for him!

“Good morning, Raph,” Leo greets. His tone is skeptical, his eye ridges furrowed.

“Mornin’ Leo,” he replies, somewhat absentmindedly as he scans the room. “You seen Casey yet?”

Leo shakes his head. “No, I haven’t. Is he still avoiding you?”

Raph grunts an affirmative, clenching and then unclenching his fists. He takes a deep breath in. “He’s not escaping today!” he announces.

Leo gives a small chuckle. It seems somewhat nervous, like he doesn’t exactly trust Raph not to rough Casey up. Well, he won’t. 

Not too bad, anyway.

Raph walks deeper into the house, passing the table and entering the kitchen. Inside, April and Mikey are talking. He doesn’t really hear about what before Mikey catches sight of him.

“Morning, Raph!” Mikey says, waving. “You’re in early. Your breakfast isn’t done yet.”

Raph eyes the stove. Looks like they’re eating eggs today. “That’s fine. I’m looking for Casey, anyways. Have you guys seen him?”

April shakes her head and Mikey turns around, oddly silent. Raph narrows his eyes as Mikey starts flipping an omelette.

“No. He might be in the woods, though. Is he ditching you again?” April asks, leaning back against the cupboards.

Raph nods, arms crossed and a finger tapping his biceps. “Again,” he says, acid dripping from the word. He stares holes into the back of Mikey’s head.

His youngest brother doesn’t turn around. Doesn’t even acknowledge what Raph is saying. Raph huffs and turns.

“I’m going to look for Casey.”

“Good luck!” April calls as he exits the kitchen.

Raph doesn’t respond, his eyes on the front door. He walks past Leo, who’s still stretching on the floor. 

“I saw him out the window a couple seconds ago,” Leo tells him, like he’s mentioning something unimportant off handedly. 

Raph smirks. “Why, thank you, Leo! I’ll make sure we stay in your sight range so you have a show.” He cracks his knuckles and opens the door.

“Raph,” Leo calls. It’s a warning.

He doesn’t look back as the door closes, but he does send Leo a thumbs up. Fine, he won’t hurt Casey. He’ll just get answers.

Raph walks down the stairs, making sure to stay silent and quick. He eyes a flash of something moving in the woods and grins.

He makes his way over to the tree line and makes sure to tackle Jones into the view of Leo’s window. Unlike Casey, he keeps his word!

They scrap a bit until Raph finally traps Casey in a headlock. 

“Wha- Raph?!” Casey yelps, still struggling to get out of his hold.

“Duh! Who else, dimwit?” Raph snarls, letting Casey go and pushing him. 

Jones brushes himself off and Raph crosses his arms. “You startled me, man!” Casey says, letting out a nervous laugh.

“Wouldn’t have to if you’d show up to our training sessions. What’s the deal, huh?” Raph questions, anger simmering beneath the surface.

Casey, in all his glory, just stares at him. “Uh…”

Raph frowns and fights back a growl of frustration. He pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath in. “Look, if this is about you lying to me for Mikey, I don’t care. That’s your business. But I don’t like being ditched.”

Jones looks up at him, his eyebrows furrowed and mouth in a thin line. Well, that’s a different expression than what Raph was thinking he’d have. He thought it’d be a look of gratefulness or relief that Raph wasn’t mad for Casey, you know, lying to him?

“You don’t care?” Casey asks. His tone is low and makes shivers crawl up the back of Raph’s shell. It puts Raph on the defensive.

“Well, I do a little bit,” Raph admits, crossing his arms once again. “I’m not a fan of liars but you did it for Mikey, so, I guess I should be more mad at him. But he always eventually admits when something is wrong, so I don’t mind waiting.” Casey still looks deathly serious when he finishes talking. “Why?” Raph asks, narrowing his eyes and feeling considerably less angry than before.

Honestly, he’s still somewhat angry. But confusion is overtaking that anger, drip by drip like a leaky water faucet.

He knew something was going on without his knowledge. That much was apparent when Casey lied for Mikey. But this reaction… it’s out of place. Raph’s missing something big.

Jones looks away. “Nothing,” he lies, and he seems to know Raph knows he’s lying. He fidgets. “Just… ok, don’t tell Mikey I’m telling you to do this.” Casey holds his hands out and looks over his shoulder, towards the house.

Now that… that piques Raph’s interest. He uncrosses his arms. “Do what?”

“Keep an eye on him,” Casey tells Raph. It feels like a bit of a joke.

Raph’s face scrunches, a cold bucket of worry washing over him. He pushes it down. “What do you mean ‘keep on eye on him’, Jones?” he quietly growls.

He watches as Casey grinds his teeth before answering. “I can’t say much more than that. He’s already super mad at me,” Jones admits, giving a nervous laugh.

Raph nods, feeling unconnected to his body. Mikey? Mad? At Casey Jones? And yet Casey is still telling Raph to look after Mikey? It’s a strange and concerning situation all around.

He should go talk to Mikey. He should go figure this out. Raph turns to do just that, only to get tackled by Casey. He lands on the ground with an “Oomph!”

“Wha- Casey!” Raph shouts. He feels Case flip him over and onto his shell, the deadly serious expression back on his face.

“I told him he has a week to tell you guys,” Jones snaps, voice just above a whisper. He points a finger inbetween Raph’s eyes. “You’re going to give that to him. He’s going to explain it to one of us in three days in full or I’ll tell everyone all I know, and we both know that’s when the real interrogation starts,” he hisses.

Raph feels confusion overtake him like a dam that finally burst. What in the world is Casey talking about?! Then again… when was the last time he’s seen Jones this serious?

“I’ll wait,” Raph promises, voice surprisingly calm.

“You’ll wait?” Casey confirms, slowly letting go of Raph but still sitting on top of him.

Raph shoves him off. “That’s what I said, idiot,” he mutters in response. He stares at the grass.

Something is up with Mikey. Something is up with Mikey and it’s so bad that Casey is forcing him to confess by a due date. And Raph?

Raph didn’t notice.

Anger swells up once again, this time directed at himself. Casey’s still laying on the grass next to him. He looks up to see Leo in the window, obviously having watched the whole interaction. 

Raph won’t be able to tell him anything, will he? Not if he wants to keep his promise to Casey. Not if he wants to keep Mikey’s trust, whatever amount of it there is.

When he finally stands up, Raph also bends down and hauls Casey up by the arm. Casey let’s out a squeak in protest. Raph then grabs Jones’ hockey stick and pushes it against his chest.

“You, me, spar. You ditched me for long enough,” he says, trying to make it sound more playful and teasing. It comes out angry.

It’s ok, though. By the look of understanding and relief Casey gives him, he feels the same way. Angry at the world and angry at himself; grateful to have an anger management buddy.

“Yeah. Bet I’ll still whoop your tail, though!” Casey challenges, sending Raph a fragile grin.

Raph takes a deep breath and then let’s it out slowly and carefully. He matches Casey’s grin and shoves him to the side.

“No way, Jones. That’s never gonna happen!”

Chapter Text

Donnie doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what to do and it scares him.

Approximately four days ago he found out — figured out? — that Mikey was hiding his experience in Dimension X from them. And what has he done since then? Well, nothing good.

Donnie’s locked himself in the barn, working on Kraang tech and preparing Mr.O’Neil’s old van to become the new Shellraiser. When he gets too stressed on one project, he switches to the other. It’s a very productive system.

He should be talking to Mikey. He should be questioning him about Dimension X, and not for scientific reasons. He should be asking for the I’m-your-brother-and-I-care reasons… and he’s not.

Donnie hasn’t been asking anything at all. He’s been avoiding Mikey.

It’s easy to see Mikey doesn’t want to talk about Dimension X. And that? Well, that’s probably the scariest variable of this whole situation.

Mikey’s always, always voiced his feelings and thoughts and emotions and— well, he’s always voiced everything. For example, he still can’t properly hear out of his left ear thanks to the time when Mikey screamed from getting a splinter in his finger at the ripe age of seven. Of course, this is different for the deeper, darker emotions, but even then… Mikey has his tells.

Donnie remembers the times Mikey’s been scared about a future mission. Mikey would go to Raph, whether to bother him in the few hours before the upcoming mission or to sleep with his big brother the night before. When he’s scared or nervous or needs some familiar confidence, Mikey goes to Raph.

A sprained ankle or a scrape sent a little Mikey crying to Sensei. As time went on Mikey got older — “too old to go to Sensei” —  and he tended to knock on Leo’s door. A sad and hurt Mikey goes to his biggest brother for comfort or to Sensei, when Mikey doesn’t want Leo because sometimes it’s nice just to go to your dad.

Donnie wishes he could go to Sensei with all this.

For every other negative emotion, Donnie was Mikey’s guy. Anger? He was allowed to hide out in Donnie’s lab until he was calm (not that it ever happened, besides maybe one time). Boredom? Donnie could always use a helping hand in the lab and, if he didn’t, he always had a small task Mikey could do on the side. Tired? Donnie had spare pillows in a clean corner of his lab just for his little brother.

Of course, depending on the circumstances, this would change. Emotions are finicky. Sometimes Mikey got mad at Donnie and went to Raph or Leo. But Donnie knows the most common patterns.

And yet… and yet…

Mikey diverted from them. 

Donnie stares up at the underside of Mr.O’Neil’s van, wrench in hand. He’s made the same mistake three times now, trying to screw on a bolt the wrong way.

He should be talking to Mikey. He wants to. Except every time he thinks about it his hands shake from anxiousness. He’s scared of what he might find. 

It’s like a horrible case of Schrödinger’s Cat, except slightly in reverse. Donnie’s inside the box, living his life. He’s safe from repercussions here, in a way. But if he opens that door — if he leaves…

What would he find? Nothing worth mentioning because he was overthinking again? Or something far, far worse?

A knock on the barn door startles him. He jolts up and hits his head on the under side of the van. Donnie hisses in pain before pushing himself out from under the machine.

It’s not dinner yet, he realizes as he shoots a glance to the clock. It’s probably not Mikey then. The thought makes him feel relieved and then he feels sick for even feeling any amount of relief.

Donnie tosses his wrench onto the wooden bench, teeth clenched. He’s sick of this back and forth. He’s going to open the box.

He’s going to talk to Mikey.

Donnie opens the door and is met with the beautiful face of April. He blinks in surprise. He sort of forgot someone knocked on the door.

“I need to talk to you,” she says, pushing him back into his makeshift lab. Once the door is closed once again, she brushes past him. 

“Ok?” Donnie turns and slowly follows her. 

This seems important. He’ll talk to Mikey directly after this.

April spots the wooden bench he has been using as a chair and points to it. Donnie knows an order when he sees one. He sits down, worry beginning to grow. What is this about? 

April paces back and forth. She stops and looks him straight in the eyes. Donnie gulps.

“Mikey’s mad at Casey,” she states, watching him for any reaction.

Donnie narrows his eyes. He picked up on that a small bit, when he finally entered the house for dinner. “I thought so,” he replies, trying to gauge April’s own reaction to his own confirmation.

April hums and begins pacing again. “I want to know why. I’m going to tell you my timeline and you’re going to help me get the bigger picture. I am 99.9% sure you’re the missing piece, Donnie.”

Donnie nods as his gaze follows her back and forth, before shaking his head. “How am I the missing piece? I’ve been in here the whole time they’ve been fighting, haven’t I?”

The girl in front of him pauses, biting her lip. “Yeah, that’s sort of the problem.” She casts a small glance his way.

Donnie frowns, tightening his grip on the edges of his bench. “What do you mean?”

“Ok, so, don’t tell Casey I told you this because he’d be super mad, ok? This is between you and me,” April clarifies, crossing her arms and giving him a stern look.

He gives a small chuckle in return. “You got it, April. But, seriously, what does this have to do with me?” he asks, face falling.

April takes a deep breath in. “Casey noticed you started to hole yourself off the morning you scampered back into the barn. He was worried about you.”

Donnie tries not to be surprised. He is. Casey and him have been on better terms, sure, but he was worried? Why didn’t he just come ask Donnie if he was ok himself?

Actually, no. Donnie inwardly cringes. That would be so weird.

April continues on, resuming her pacing. “He decided to ask Mikey about it. He took Mikey to a cow pasture and, when they got back, everything seemed ok at first. But they separated whenever they came inside, so maybe it wasn’t? Anyways, whenever everyone came to eat dinner, Mikey was glaring at Casey!”

Donnie feels his eye ridges furrow. “Ok, wait. So Mikey and Casey go out and have fun. And then a couple hours later Mikey is glaring at Casey? Is… Casey not doing anything back?”

April shakes her head and throws her hands up. “I didn’t even think about that!” she exclaims. She spins on her heel and points a finger at Donnie. “That’s weird too, right? Casey is just letting Mikey be mad at him. No retaliation, no nothing.”

Donnie slowly nods. “Yes, actually. Casey is pretty reactive when anyone is angry at him. However, I’m still not seeing how I play into this…”

April huffs exasperatedly. “Casey went to ask Mikey if you were ok because Mikey was acting weird the same morning you were. He thought something was bugging you and that Mikey knew about it.” She walks over, arms crossed once again. She averts her gaze. “Is that true, Donnie?”

He pushes himself up from the bench, waving his hands. “No, nothings wrong with me. He’s wrong about that.”

April sighs and steps away from him. “Then why are you locking yourself in here, hm?” She glares at him. “And you better tell the truth.”

Donnie looks to the floor. Should he even tell her his theories on Mikey? He begins to fiddle with the ends of his bandana. He looks up to see April still staring at him.

“It’s Mikey,” Donnie finally admits. “I’m… I’m worried about him and I don’t know how to proceed.”

He doesn’t look at April after that. Shame and guilt curl in his gut. He should have just talked to Mikey already. Why is he so scared to talk to his brother? It’s his brother!

He just… he just wants Mikey to be ok.

April slowly places a hand on his shoulder. Donnie looks at her. “That’s ok, Donnie. It’s ok to be so worried for people you don’t know what to do. But in those instances, that’s when you ask for help,” she lightly corrects.

Donnie nods dumbly. “You’re right. I should have gone to you or Raph or Leo or… even Casey, I guess. It’s just… April, if I’m right…” He chokes up.

April’s face looks pale. Her mouth is in a thin line. She audibly swallows and removes her hand from his shoulder. It feels colder now. Donnie looks towards the floor.

“Tell me what you’re thinking, Donnie,” April says. She gently takes his hand and squeezes. “We can figure it out from there.”

Donnie stares at their intertwined hands. He takes his own away and turns his head to the ceiling, blinking rapidly. He then gives her a grim smile.

“You’re not gonna like it,” he warns, plopping down on the dirt floor of the barn. He didn’t have the energy to go to the bench.

April gives a huff and sits down as well. “Probably not. But if Mikey needs our help, I need to know everything you do.”

Donnie hums, beginning to fiddle with the ends of his mask again. “I don’t know much,” he admits.

April sends him a sad smile. “You know more than me. Now, what are we working with?”

Donnie takes a deep breath in. When he opens his mouth again, he explains everything he knows.

Everything.

Dinner was an affair where everyone ate together. Where everyone talked, everyone joked, and no one really and truly fought. Dinner brought everyone together.

Mikey even pauses his glaring at Jones whenever they all sit down. Sure, he resumes the death glare right after, but a peaceful dinner is sacred.

It was a rule set by Sensei. With four rambunctious little baby turtles, it was needed. Fighting could be resumed after a proper meal. “Not at the table,” was a common phrase to hear from his father’s lips.

He holds onto the hope he’ll hear them again soon.

Mikey hums as he sets the table, roasted garlic potatoes in a nice bowl and some chicken in rice in another. He places a plate and a napkin down at each place. He knows his family will grab their own drinks and utensils from the kitchen as soon as he announces dinner is ready to be served.

Slowly, Mikey backs up and admires the table. 

“Perfect.”

His head throbs. Mikey grits his teeth and winces. He makes his way to the hallway, forcing a smile to look like he’s not in pain from a killer headache.

This is what he gets for not sleeping for three days straight and not having a proper sleeping schedule before that. He can’t help it, though! Jones ruined everything.

Somewhere, deep down, Mikey understands why Jones wants him to talk. That’s partly why the boy currently isn’t six feet under. Even he considered spilling the beans to his bros, more than once. He’s heard talking it out can help people heal. He knows this kind of stuff.

Doesn’t make Casey Jones any less of a jerk for forcing him to do it.

Seven days is not enough time for Mikey to prepare himself for speaking to his protective older brothers about his trauma. It’s not enough time for Mikey to prepare a way to break the news that he was stuck in Dimension X alone for who knows how long to his still healing brothers. 

The only reason he slept the day Jones decided to make this “deal” was because he was physically and emotionally tired. The rest of these past nights have kept him pacing, trying to figure out the best angle to break the news. 

Jones wouldn’t be gentle if he told everyone. 

All this to say that Mikey is really tired. He’s started getting spots covering his vision when he stands too fast. Food is hardly appetizing, his thoughts are running rampant, and his headache has been building since yesterday night. 

Mikey’s a wreck. He knows it. Hopefully he gets some sleep tonight. But first…

“Dinner!” Mikey shouts, ignoring his pulsing head. 

Footsteps scramble in from the living room. Mikey backs up against the wall, grinning as Raph and Jones push past, half fighting each other the whole way. His grin falls as Jones knocks into the table on their way to the kitchen.

“Watch it, dudes!” Mikey barks, smirking as both boys jump at the sound of his voice. 

Raph rolls his eyes and elbows Jones in the ribs. “Your dinner is safe, Mikey.”

“What he said!” Jones swats at Raph’s arm.

Mikey shrugs. “Fine. Then I guess you won’t mind getting April and Donnie. To keep my dinner safe, that is, from hazards the two of you like to cause.”

The sound of Leo’s crutches come up behind him. He got those yesterday and he’s already a pro at using them. His brother in blue laughs. 

“Nice one, Mikey.”

Raph scoffs half-heartedly and pushes past Jones and into the kitchen. Jones goes to the front door and exits to grab the two people missing from their dinner extravaganza.

“What do you want, Leo?!” Raph yells from inside the kitchen, causing Mikey to chuckle as he watches Leo carefully sit down in a chair.

“Water!” Leo yells back. 

Mikey grits his teeth (ouch! his head!) and takes a seat at the end of the table. He brought his own drink and utensils over with everything else. He has orange juice, of course! 

Huh. You’d think he’d be sick of citrusy drinks by now.

Raph walks back carrying two drinks and two pairs of utensils. He sits down next to Leo and hands him his water and fork and knife. 

“Cranberry juice? Really, Raph?” Leo asks, raising an unimpressed eye ridge. Mikey snorts. 

So predictable!

“What?! It’s good!” Raph defends, taking a sip of his drink.

“Orange juice is better.” That earns Mikey a glare from Raph and he sticks his tongue out at him in return.

“Nothing beats a nice, cool glass of water. You’re both wrong,” Leo states, nose up in the air.

Mikey and Raph share a look.

“Nuh-uh-“

“You’re dead wrong-“

Leo slaps a hand on Mikey’s mouth and one on Raph’s mouth. “One at a time, guys. I can’t understand your wrong opinions when you yell.”

Mikey gasps dramatically as Raph yells “Excuse me?!” 

Raph leans forward, elbows on the table. He points at Leo. “Mikey, you’re hearing this, right?” 

Their older brother watches on, amused.

Mikey leans forward too. “Unfortunately. I think we should team up, dude! Cranberry juice and orange juice go together well, don’t you think?”

Raph nods sagely while Leo huffs in amusement. “You guys know I’m right here, right?”

In sync, Mikey and Raph both start asking different combinations of “What’s that?” and “Did you hear anything?”. Leo sighs exasperatedly, but Mikey can see the smile he’s fighting. He laughs at Leo’s “dismay”.

“Cranberry juice and Orange juice are both better than water,” Raph says, continuing the argument. 

Mikey clips his mouth shut, fighting back some more giggles. He nods. “Raph’s right, big bro. They take the cak-“

Raph cuts in with an evil smirk. “But Cranberry juice is better than Orange juice.”

Mikey points a butter knife at Raph. “You take that back, you traitor!”

His brother in red smugly leans back and crosses his arms. “Why would I? I mean, that’s a fact. Ask Donnie when he gets here.”

“Where are they, anyways?” Leo asks before Mikey can even say anything in rebuttal.

There was an important argument going on! He has to defend his love!

The sound of the front door closing answers Leo’s question.

Mikey straightens up. “Now we can get real answers,” he whispers, sending a playful glare to Raph. “Hey Dee!” he calls, half turning in his chair to catch sight of his taller bro. “Which is better? Cranberry juice or orange… juice…”

Donnie brushes past, not meeting his gaze. April stares at Mikey with a frown, arms hugging tightly around her waist. Jones is next to her, jaw clenched and his arms crossed as well. He looks… guilty?

Mikey’s eyes widen. Oh. Oh no. Did he count the days wrong? Is the week already up?!

“What’s with all the long faces, huh?” Raph asks, motioning for everyone to sit down. April and Jones look at each other before doing so. “Something happen?”

“Who cares,” Mikey answers, probably a bit too quickly if the concerned look from Leo is to go by. “It’s dinner! You remember Sensei’s rule, right? ‘Not at the dinner table’.” His leg is bouncing rapidly under the table.

That’s not what the rule is really used for. If one of them was genuinely upset, they’d talk it out. Mikey doesn’t care though. He has a sinking feeling this is about him. He’ll take what he can to avoid the conversation.

He wishes he could tell Sensei everything. It’d be so much easier than this. 

Mikey feels trapped. His hands are shaking. The house is so small, so enclosed. He’s never been claustrophobic before. He feels like he is now!

Leo regards him with a look that says they’re so talking about this later. Mikey smiles at him nervously. “Right,” Leo says slowly. “Let’s eat.”

The table is quiet as they pass around the bowls of food and dish them out into their own plates. Mikey’s head throbs. This isn’t good. This really isn’t good.

Did… did Jones tell them? Did he tell April and Donnie? Or did Donnie figure it out and tell April and Jones? Mikey doesn’t know.

He doesn’t know!

His hands tremble as he brings some chicken and rice up to his lips. He takes a bite. “Mmmmm,” he moans, eyes flicking around the table nervously. “I think I did it once again, dudes. A Mikey masterpiece!”

“Hm,” Raph hums, chewing thoughtfully on some roasted potatoes. Seems like he too is willing to ignore the weird tension in the room. “It really is edible this time!” He shoots a playful smirk at Mikey. 

It doesn’t hide the thinly veiled concern in his eyes.

“Wow, thanks,” Mikey responds sarcastically. He stuffs another bite in his mouth.

The silence envelops the table again. Mikey keeps shaking anxiously. April rarely looks away from him, Jones’ face is grim, and Donnie is staring at his plate like it personally offended him. Has his purple brother even taken a bite?

This! This right here! This is what he didn’t want!

Everyone’s so worried and so down and… and Mikey never wanted that! He wanted them to be happy and free. He wanted them to be ok. He needs them to be ok.

He missed them so much. Seeing them so broken after missing them for so long… it hurt on a level he didn’t even know existed! And now it looks like that same brokenness is back, thanks to him. 

It all started that night. The night Mikey swore to never tell anyone about Dimension X, he slipped up. He helped Donnie and therefore let Donnie know Mikey knows way more than he has let on. And then? And then Donnie locked himself in the barn, just like he did when Leo was comatose.

Donnie didn’t just pause his healing. He regressed.

Mikey did this. His slip up caused this. He should have just went to bed and not helped Donnie at all, but no. Worry over what Donnie could find on that code overtook him and he stepped in, ruining everything. Mikey has to fix this.

He has to fix this!

“So!” he chirps, a bit too brightly and a bit too loudly for even his own ears. Leo jumps next to him. Oops? “Which is better? Cranberry juice or Orange juice?”

The table stares at him. Mikey swallows, tapping his fork on the edge of his paper plate. Raph’s eye ridges furrow at the movement.

No. No, he can’t take a worried Raph. A worried Raph would break the “Not at the table rule” with no remorse. He wouldn’t be able to stop him.

Mikey’s heart beats faster.

“Donnie?” Mikey tries, hoping Raph won’t interrupt him. “You know which is best, right? Raph said Cranberry was the best and that it’s a fact — which makes no sense at all, ya know? Orange juice is obviously superior!” He laughs nervously.

Donnie looks up at him. He swallows the food he had in his mouth. He takes so long to respond. The silence is grating. Mikey thinks it hurts his head more than the noise.

“That’s incorrect,” Donnie says slowly, like it hurts him to even talk to Mikey right now. “Grape juice is obviously better.”

No one responds to that. Not even Raph. A sharp pain prods behind his temple.

Oh shell, Mikey’s made it worse! 

Mikey drops his fork. “Right, well, this is awkward. This is awkward for everyone, right? Not just me? I’m going to the bathroom and you all better have fixed whatever this is by the time I’m back,” Mikey jokingly warns, shaking a finger. 

What is he saying? What is he doing?! He just has to leave. He needs to leave. Right now!

“Mikey…” Donnie starts. It spurs Mikey into action.

He pushes himself up and scoots his chair back with lightning speed. Dark spots enter his vision but he can’t stop now. He has to go. He needs to go!

Mikey takes a couple staggering steps back. His hands are out in front of him and he has a strained smile on his face, his eyes still focused on the people at the table. The people being replaced by black spots. 

No! No, he can’t pass out right now he can’t pass out right now he can’t—

He—

He… can’t…

Mikey drops like a deadweight. 

“Mikey!”

Chapter Text

Mikey’s only on the ground for one second. It’s the worst second of Leo’s life.

He knew something was up the moment Donnie came in. He looked ashamed, guilty, and — most of all — worried. When he came in and sat down silently, it made Leo’s gut churn.

He’s missed something big. 

And then April and Casey came in, both also uncharacteristically quiet. Case was staring at the floor, a grim worry Leo has only seen on the rambunctious teen’s face a handful of times. April seemed to be hugging herself for comfort, which was concerning in itself and extra concerning when he remembered their talk earlier that day. But the most concerning thing to Leo about it all was who she was staring at.

Mikey.

These past two weeks Leo’s been awake, his littlest brother had some concerning traits floating about. He seemed more flighty, more observant, and not as smiley as the Mikey Leo remembered. He had brushed it off, thinking it was due to trauma of maybe losing their Sensei and almost losing Leo but… now?

Now he’s thinking he should’ve looked a bit deeper.

Dinner lasted barely five minutes. Mikey’s leg was shaking the whole time, Leo could see it go up and down at a surprising speed under the table. His eyes kept flicking back and forth and his smile was as tight as could be. He was nervous, that’s for sure, and kept trying to break the tension.

When it didn’t work, it seemed to make everything worse. It got to the point where Mikey felt uncomfortable enough to try to leave.

That’s the key word, isn’t it… “try”.

Leo had watched as Mikey stood up from the table in a rush and staggered backwards. He wasn’t able to do much else. Everything happened so fast. One second, Mikey was leaving and… and the next?

Well, he hit the floor.

“Mikey!” Leo screams. Everyone else does the same.

Leo stands from his chair, eager to get to his littlest brother. Raph and Donnie both beat him to it. Leo grits his teeth and hops over anyways. Behind him, Casey and April stay standing in front of their own chairs.

“Mikey?” Raph asks softly and full of worry. His hands hover over the orange turtle. Donnie is visibly shaking.

The downed turtle groans, causing everyone to freeze. They all watch as he slowly blinks his eyes open, before flashing wide. Mikey pushes Raph away in a lightning quick move and scoots till his shell is touching the wall. 

Leo really, really wants to cry. 

Mikey looks… so scared. His eyes are wide and he’s shaking just as visibly as Donnie. He’s opening his mouth and closing it like a flabbergasted fish. 

“W-what happened?” Mikey whispers, as if afraid of the answer.

Leo doesn’t answer. He only stares.

“You passed out,” Donnie replies, voice as soft as he’s ever heard it. “Are you ok? Did you hit your head?”

Mikey shakes his head frantically. He’s still as tense as a spring, ready to move at a moment’s notice. It hurts Leo.

How did he miss this? This much fear and… and whatever Mikey is feeling takes a build up. He should’ve seen this. He should’ve known.

“You scared us, you absolute idiot,” Raph hisses, fists clenched and by his thighs. His voice is too shaky. Leo knows when his brother in red is holding back tears.

Mikey locks eyes with Raph. He pulls his knees closer. Even from the distance Leo stands at, he can see tears well in Mikey’s eyes.

“I didn’t mean to.”

No one seems to know what to say to that. Leo wants to get closer but… with how Mikey is looking at everyone, he doesn’t think that would go well. He knows a turtle about to go into his shell when he sees one. It’s the old instinct. If running away didn’t work, maybe hiding will.

“Do… you know why you passed out?” Donnie ventures carefully, purposely keeping his voice steady. It contradicts the state of the rest of his body.

Mikey’s head dips partly into his shell. That’s a yes if Leo’s ever seen one. Donnie lets out a breath.

“Ok,” his purple brother says. “Ok. How can we help that? Do you need food? Water?”

Raph has gone back to staring at the floor. Leo doesn’t dare move his gaze from Mikey to see what the two humans are doing. 

Mikey slowly shakes his head. “Neither.”

Leo barely hears his response.

Donnie looks like he’s about to blow a gasket with worry. He’s obviously trying to be patient with Mikey but he’s also not getting the answers he wants. He wants to know how to fix Mikey. Leo takes a small step forward.

“Then what can we do, Mike-n-Ike?” Leo questions softly, using the nickname he hardly ever uses.

It’s funny. Mikey isn’t much of a fan of that candy. He’ll still eat it, though. Raph thought it was too good of a nickname to pass up, whenever they first found the candy.

Mikey blinks rapidly, turning his head to the ceiling. “I can’t sleep,” he whimpers.

Leo opens his mouth to respond when Raph cuts in. 

“Then why didn’t you say so?” Raph snaps, but it’s at a lower volume than usual. He stands and scoops Mikey up, giving a pointed look to Leo. “We’re going to bed.”

Leo nods as Mikey adjusts to the sudden position change. He doesn’t seem exactly comfortable in Raph’s arms but he doesn’t struggle against Raph. Leo takes it as a win.

“That sounds perfect,” he says, giving a small smile to Raph. He then looks at Mikey. “Get some sleep, ok?”

Mikey tucks his head further into his shell instead of answering as everyone else follows his lead, wishing Mikey good night. Raph takes Mikey and exits the room, probably going to their shared bedroom.

It isn’t until they all hear the door close that the room comes to life again. Leo sighs and rubs a hand down his face. Donnie stands and helps Leo to his seat at the table. There, everyone sits back down again.

None of them know what to really say, it seems. Leo swallows his own fear.

“What was that?” he whispers. 

It feels like the room should stay quiet, for some reason. Like a voice higher than a whisper could make the night even worse than it already is.

“That,” Donnie starts, voice low, “Was what we think is a product of…” He swallows audibly before continuing. “Of Dimension X.”

Leo meets Donnie’s eyes. “Dimension X?” he repeats, cold water washing over him. 

Donnie nods, sending a glance towards Casey. Casey coughs.

“He, uh, sorta went crazy on me a couple days ago,” Casey says, arms folded and glaring at his plate. “We went to the cow pasture and he went right up to the cows, which is dangerous, ya know? So I may have yelled at him for it… a little bit…” he trails off.

Leo looks between the three people in front of him. “So?” he prompts. “What happened?”

Casey rubs his arm nervously. “I asked if he thought the cows would be his friends and… and what world a cow would be able to be his friend. Mikey responded with ‘Dimension X’.” Casey huffs a bitter laugh. “Actually, he yelled it at me. It was like I touched an extremely sore spot.”

Leo blinks. And then he blinks again. There were cows on Dimension X? He sucks in a deep breath.

“And you didn’t tell us,” he states.

Casey sinks down a bit in his chair. “No. I made him a deal, and then sort of forced him to take it. Either he told any one person he wanted to within a week about… whatever was going on or I told everyone what had happened in the pasture. He didn’t like either option but when we broke through the tree line fighting and I almost yelled it out… he agreed to my deal.”

Leo hums at that, turning his gaze to his own plate. That explains why Mikey’s been mad at Casey, then.

“And that’s not all…” April adds, giving an encouraging look to Donnie. 

Leo lifts his head. “Donnie?” he asks.

Donnie also shrinks under his gaze. “I should’ve told you guys this sooner. I just didn’t know how to approach this whole… situation,” he admits, twiddling his fingers.

That… that makes a small flame of anger light in Leo’s chest. Donnie hid something from them? When Mikey was hurting? Then again, he understands in a way. This is new. Mikey usually always comes to them when something is bothering him. 

He douses that flame of anger and nods to Donnie, hoping he continues.

Donnie does.

“The night before Casey took Mikey to the cow pasture, I was awake working on some Kraang tech, hoping to translate their code,” Donnie says, crossing his arms tightly. “Mikey was, surprisingly, also up. He offered to help so I said ‘Sure! Why not?’ because it honestly couldn’t hurt with the roadblock I was at.”

Leo leans back in his chair, taking in the story. He doesn’t want to miss any of this.

“He does help a bit, but it doesn’t get me anywhere at first. I tell him what he found just supports my theory that, yes, this is Kraang code.” Donnie smiles bitterly. “He laughs at me for that and pulls the tech right back over. At this point, I’m slightly offended,” he admits. “That’s my tech. But, hey, whatever.”

Leo huffs. Despite the mood, that is funny. And it is just so Mikey.

“So, ok, just for clarification…” Donnie leans forward, branching from the story. “I never taught any of you any Kraang-script, right?”

Leo pauses. That’s a hint in the direction the story is going to go. He shakes his head. “No, you haven’t.”

Donnie nods shakily. “That’s what I thought.” He takes a deep breath. “Mikey pushes over the Kraang tech and points to the top and bottom of the code. He asks ‘These both mean Kraang, right?’. I’m tired and don’t put two and two together. I tell him that he’s correct. Mikey then asks me what Earthly writing form the Kraang are seemingly using.”

His eye ridge’s furrow. A name at the top and a name at the bottom… “A… letter?” Leo guesses.

Donnie nods. “A letter,” he confirms. “Mikey knew not only what Kraang was written like in Kraang-script, but also that the Kraang seem to have adapted our writing formats. He… he would’ve found that out on his own, Leo. Where would he have done that?”

Leo’s eyes widen. “Dimension X,” he whispers.

“Yeah. And that begs the question… why did he need to know any Kraang-script? How did he figure out Kraang-script?” Donnie pauses, seemingly struggling to get the next couple of words out. “How long was he there that he needed to learn Kraang-script?”

His heart drops. “But he said he was only there for a couple of hours,” Leo weakly protests.

Donnie shakes his head. “Before that, he also said he was there for months.”

Leo buries his face in his hands. He hasn’t seen what April and Casey have been doing. He’s focused all his attention on Donnie.

“You’re saying Mikey could’ve been alone in Dimension X for who knows how long,” Leo says, voice cracking. He wants to cry. His eyes don’t water.

Donnie reaches across the table and grabs Leo’s arm. It’s a comforting touch. “Yup.”

And Leo laughs at that. He laughs at the absurdity of it all and how Donnie just finishes off this whole conversation — this whole revelation with a simple and awkward “yup”.

He grabs Donnie’s hand and puts it to his forehead. He stares at the table.

“He didn’t tell us,” he whispers.

“No,” Donnie agrees. “He didn’t.”

Now Leo’s the one shaking. “That means it was probably really bad, huh? He always comes to us.”

Donnie doesn’t answer. April does.

“It’s ok, Leo,” she says softly. “We can help him a-and be there for him. Just like he has for us.”

Leo doesn’t comment on how shaky her voice is. They’re all emotional right now.

Oh, shell. How are they gonna tell all this to Raph?

“Exactly what Red said,” Casey chimes in. “And, um, try not to be too worried, alright?”

Leo shoots Casey a glare. What?! 

Casey waves his hands frantically. “Or do be! I was just saying that… Mikey’s still Mikey. He still laughs and makes jokes and… and hangs out with us all. Sure, he’s probably a bit more messed up than before but… he’ll heal. Just like we did. Just like we still are.”

Leo nods. “Yeah,” he rasps. “Thanks, Casey.”

Casey sends him a small smile. It doesn’t make him feel any better.

“What now?” April asks after a moment.

Leo lets go of Donnie’s hand and straightens back up. “We should finish dinner, or at least clean up.”

Everyone seems to agree with his decision. They all take a couple more bites of their food before deciding they aren’t hungry. Everyone helps clear the table — besides Leo. He tries to help. April shoos him away.

He stands in the living room, looking at his room door. It’s shut. There’s no noise coming from inside.

Donnie comes up beside him. “Want to sleep on the couch tonight?”

Leo’s shoulders drop. He nods and sends Donnie a small, grateful smile. “Yeah. That works.”

They both set up camp in the living room. Leo takes the smaller couch while Donnie takes the longer one. April and Casey bid their good nights and go to their separate rooms upstairs.

Leo stares at the ceiling. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep well tonight, if at all. He steals a glance at Donnie.

His purple brother is also staring at the ceiling.

“It’ll be ok,” Leo says, pulling his blankets closer to his chin. “We’ll take care of him. We’re family, it's what we do.”

Donnie nods. “Ok.” 

Leo’s heart aches. His younger brother sounds way too young.

“Night, Leo.”

“Good night, Donnie.”

They’ll need their rest if they want to survive tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Fear was an emotion Raph was, unfortunately, really familiar with. That may be surprising.

See, Raph is always “angry”. He’s “angry” about many different things for many different reasons at all times of the day. But anger is a reactive emotion. There’s almost always a bigger emotion underneath, fueling the anger that Raph feels. 

It’s partly a way to not seem… weak, for lack of a better word. He doesn’t like feeling vulnerable and most other emotions make him feel exposed. So when Raph is sad, worried, or scared, anger is what he shows.

He was “angry” that Donnie was so careless and almost exploded them all due to his lab experiments. “Angry”, as in worried that Donnie could have gotten seriously hurt. “Angry”, as in scared for himself when the noise first startled him. “Angry”, as in not actually and truly angry.

It’s a mask he uses very well. He likes the mask at times. Other times… not so much. 

Like this time, with his younger brother in his arms as he carries him from the dining room he just passed out in. 

Raph shouldn’t have snapped. He shouldn’t have done that to Mikey, who was trembling when he first awoke from passing out and is still trembling now. Guilt curls around his throat like a boa constrictor, slowly choking him to death. His “anger” didn’t help the situation.

Even with that realization, it still simmers beneath the surface. His worry and fear and sadness all collide, making him feel like a choppy sea. He is actually angry as well, but not at Mikey. No, he’s angry at himself.

The second night at the house, Raph encountered Mikey. He had thought his younger brother was sleep talking on the couch, instead of sleeping in an actual room. But tonight’s events have him thinking that Mikey wasn’t actually sleep at all, just mumbling to himself out of pure exhaustion.

Basically, Raph has “known” about Mikey’s sleep  problem since they first got to the house. If only he put the puzzle pieces together…

He enters his and Leo's room and sets Mikey down gently on the bed. Mikey doesn’t lay down and instead sits up, bringing his knees to his plastron and avoiding Raph’s gaze. Raph frowns before turning and closing the door.

There’s probably more to this he’s missing, too. April, Casey, and Donnie were all acting weird. That’s what set Mikey off, if Raph has to guess. He stares at the doorknob, fists clenched.

He’s probably missing that explanation, too.

Raph turns around and walks over to his makeshift bed on the floor. There’s plenty of blankets and pillows to make it comfortable for him, a majority of them red. April really tried to make them as comfortable as possible in this house.

He scoots his own shell to the back of the wall and then looks at Mikey, who still hasn’t moved from his position on Leo’s bed. His gaze is definitely following Raph though, almost expectantly. 

Raph stares back, slightly confused and pretty frustrated. What? He doesn’t expect Raph to rip into him now, does he? Or…

Oh. 

There was a time, once, when they were younger. Before they were the superhero-ninjas of New York City and just ninja turtles living in the sewers. A more peaceful time but not without its scares.

In those scary times, Raph wouldn’t show his fear (not that he does now). He’d get up and yell and insult whatever was scaring him and his brothers. Horror movies, while still scary, partially became comedies if Raph was watching. He’d call out the entire cast for every stupid decision they would make.

Doesn’t mean his brothers wouldn’t actually get scared, though. 

Raph grabs his blankets from the floor and tosses them at Mikey’s head. He turns and grabs a pillow too.

After particularly scary movies, Mikey would sneak into bed with him. Raph would make a huge fuss out of it, causing Mikey to giggle at his antics. Mikey wouldn’t actually leave though, the leech. He somehow always knew Raph was comforted by Mikey’s presence and didn’t mind actually sharing the bed.

He doesn’t think that’s what Mikey was staring at him for, not really. But Raph was reminded of simpler times and… and maybe Mikey needed that reminder too.

Besides, Raph is scared. It just wasn’t a movie that made him full of fear this time.

Raph stands at the side of the bed, Mikey staring at him like a deer in headlights with Raph’s blankets covering his knees. 

“Scoot,” Raph orders, starting to climb onto the bed.

Mikey does as told. It’s a tight fit, not that Raph minds. He’s going to pretend he does though. He half-heartedly glares at Mikey.

“Lay down, bed hog. We’re sleeping.”

Mikey’s blue eyes stare into his green. He blinks like Raph just spoke a different language. Just when he’s about to tug Mikey down by the mask tails, his little brother begins to move.

Carefully, he throws Raph’s blankets over himself and Raph. He slowly lays down and places his head on the pillow. He looks so stiff, laying with his legs straight out and both arms curled in front of his plastron. Raph grumbles.

Gently, Raph lifts the pillow and grabs one of Mikey’s arms. He forces it under the pillow and then allows Mikey to put his head down again. He kicks one of Mikey’s legs so it’s just a tad bent.

“There,” he grunts, curling his arms around his side of the pillow and laying on his plastron. “Now you don’t look like a marionette. That could not have been comfortable.”

Mikey says nothing in return. The staring is starting to get annoying and Raph has a feeling he might have overstepped a small boundary. It was supposed to be funny, rearranging Mikey like that. Now it just feels sad.

It… it reminded him of what he had to do to Leo when he was in that coma. 

He feels Mikey shift beside him, obviously getting a bit more comfortable. Raph sighs of relief internally. Good. Both of them weren’t going to get any sleep with Mikey that tense.

“You’re not going to…” Mikey starts, voice in a whisper. He doesn’t finish his sentence.

“What? Rip into ya?” Raph asks, raising an eye ridge.

His little brother nods, avoiding his gaze. He looks so small. Raph hums.

“No. That’s a tomorrow activity,” he lightly jokes. 

Mikey’s eyes flick to him again, confusion evident in his features. “You’re not gonna ask now?”

Raph blinks and turns his head completely towards Mikey. “Do you want me to?” Mikey shakes his head and Raph huffs. “Didn't think so. Besides, you need the sleep. Shut your eyes and go to dreamland.”

Raph snuggles back into his own side of the pillow. He closes his eyes, eager to just get to sleep and start tomorrow’s interrogation so he can figure out how to help Mikey. The only thing he knows would help currently Mikey is sleep, so that’s what he’s going to make Mikey do. 

He feels Mikey shift next to him again. “I can’t,” he whispers. 

Raph peeks his eyes back open. He said that in the dining room too.

“All right,” he slowly says, trying to figure out how to proceed. “Why not?”

Mikey begins to fiddle with the edge of Raph’s blanket. “I’ve tried. It just… doesn’t work.”

He looks over at Mikey. That answer helps him in no way, shape, or form. His expression apparently communicates this. Mikey winces.

“Ok, yeah, that doesn’t help, does it?” Mikey says, giving the smallest smile Raph’s ever seen on him. “Uh… my brain doesn’t let me sleep…”

Raph stares. “It’s your brain. It’s supposed to sleep,” he retorts, narrowing his eyes.

Mikey seems to grit his teeth. “I know, Raph,” he responds, sounding annoyed. “But it doesn’t let me. It’s always… on and thinking so many thoughts.”

Ah. That makes more sense. 

“What kind of thoughts?” Raph prods. Mikey seems to shy away from him when he asks that, mouth clamped shut.

“Just… worries,” Mikey whispers.

And Raph… Raph can relate, to an extent. But his thoughts rarely ever kept him up at night. Sure, maybe he’s lost a couple hours due to worrying, but never enough to make him pass out from lack of sleep. He’s sorta lost on what to do here.

“Tell me about them. Maybe that will help.”

Mikey doesn’t seem eager to do that, either. He goes quiet. Raph waits, hoping he’ll open up in the next couple seconds. Seconds end up turning into minutes, though, and Raph’s patience wears thin.

He pushes himself up and turns around, putting his shell against the headboard with a sigh. He rubs a hand down his face in frustration. 

“Look, little brother,” Raph starts, bringing his hands down to grip his blanket. “I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, and I do want to help. You don’t have to tell me everything, either. Just… you need sleep, Mikey. You passed out and…”

He can see Mikey’s slumped form in his mind’s eye. It’s forever burned there. He’ll never be able to forget that picture, nor the absolute terror that came with it. He swallows his pride.

“And it scared me,” he admits, gripping the blanket even tighter. Raph looks over and meets Mikey’s gaze. “Let me help. I don’t want to be scared like that ever again.”

There’s another sentence — another meaning within his last one. Raph doesn’t want to see Mikey like that ever again. He doesn’t want Mikey to be that exhausted ever again. He wants his little brother to be ok.

“I’m scared too,” Mikey admits, pulling the blankets to his chin. “I keep thinking that the Kraang will come and find us. That they’ll tear down the house and kill Leo, who’s not healed enough to defend himself. And then everyone else will follow… a-and I can’t let that happen. I need to be up — I need to be aware.”

Raph stares, wide eyed at Mikey. That’s… horrific. His mouth turns sour as Mikey keeps going.

“If I’m not aware, no one will be. We need plans, Raph. What if the Kraang don’t come from the south, where New York is? What if they come from somewhere else? What if Donnie’s temporary security system doesn’t work and they get the jump on us? What’s our back up plan? What — what if—“

Raph’s had enough. “Woah, there, Mikey. That’s a lot of ‘what if’s’.” He grabs Mikey’s hand and squeezes.

Mikey chuckles and it’s not a happy sound. “That’s sorta the problem, dude.”

Raph hums. “Well, I know a good bunch of that stuff has a low chance of happening. And by low, I mean really, really low. And I would say to not worry about it but… that wouldn’t help much, would it?”

Mikey snorts and shakes his head, beginning to play with Raph’s hand nervously. 

Raph hums again thoughtfully. “I don’t know how to prove to you that all that isn’t worth worrying about, enough so that your brain stops worrying. But, I can promise you that nothing will happen tonight,” he says, giving Mikey a determined look. “I’ll keep watch and wake you if anything happens, how does that sound?”

His little brother pauses playing with his hand. He stares at what seems like nothing, deep in thought. 

“That might work,” Mikey admits, voice small. “You… you won’t leave, right?”

Raph squeezes Mikey’s hand. “After the stunt you pulled tonight? I’m never leaving your side,” he promises.

Mikey actually laughs at that and it sounds suspiciously watery, but Raph doesn’t mention it. He takes his hand from Mikey’s and caresses his head.

“Go to bed, little brother. You’ve been awake long enough.”

Mikey nods and closes his eyes, snuggling into the bed. 

“I’ve missed you,” Mikey murmurs, five minutes into the silence.

Raph’s eyes widen in surprise. What… what did Mikey mean by that? He knows he’s been distant because he was taking care of Leo but this feels… deeper, somehow. 

“Missed you too, Mike.”

It takes about an hour and a half for Mikey to fall asleep. Raph knows because Mikey keeps tossing and turning, huffing when he can’t seem to get comfortable. Eventually, he stills. Raph smiles at the image.

Mikey’s arm is up and across his forehead with his other arm sprawled out. One of his legs is sticking out from under the covers. He snores softly. The sound comforts Raph, nostalgia flooding forward.

It’s been a long time since those scary movie days.

Slowly, to not wake his sleeping brother, he curls his legs up and rests an arm on his knee. Raph leans his head back against the headboard and tries not to stare at Mikey.

He fails.

His thoughts circle around Mikey. What was off? What was weird? What were the signs? He finds there were many more than he previously thought.

Again, that second night with his outburst should have been a clue something was wrong. Raph was tired and brushed that off. But there were other things, like him sleeping outside and the less experimental recipes… though Raph didn’t particularly miss those.

Still, there were signs, big and small, that hinted something was off. The frustrating thing is that Raph didn’t catch on and still has no idea what could be bothering his brother. Sure, there seems to be some… paranoia or anxiety there, with what he told Raph about not being able to sleep, but…

What caused Mikey to get into that state of mind? He is known for being so carefree and optimistic. So what changed?

Mikey lets out a loud snore, breaking Raph out of his thoughts momentarily. He pulls the blanket up higher on Mikey.

Obviously nothing good.

Throughout the night, Raph has to fight against nodding off. He told Mikey he was going to keep watch and he meant it. How did Mikey even stay awake long enough to pass out? How long was he awake before he passed out?

Raph grumbles. More questions for the morning.

He doesn’t know how to pass the time so he allows his mind to try and come up with theories about what happened to Mikey. That gets depressing quickly, so he tries to think of something else. Eventually, though, he becomes too tired to think of anything but staying awake.

The night passes. It’s super boring. He thinks he does actually pass out a few times despite himself as the night, even though it feels forever long, doesn’t feel as long as he thinks it should be. 

However, morning still comes too quickly.

Raph’s still fighting to stay awake when Mikey jolts upwards, eyes wide and heaving. It scares Raph so bad he almost falls off the bed.

“Wha— Mikey?!”

Raph clutches his plastron and stares as Mikey shoves himself into the wall with a loud thud . He’s staring at Raph with wild eyes, looking more scared than he was last night. It doesn’t seem like he even recognizes Raph!

“Mikey! Mikey, it’s me!” Raph says frantically, reaching forward before thinking better of it. He didn’t respond well to potential touch last night. 

The orange turtle doesn’t calm down but he does finally look at Raph. He’s still hyperventilating, tears starting to fall down his cheeks.

“Mikey,” Raph starts, hands hovering awkwardly. “I-it’s ok! Everything’s ok!” 

Shell, he hates how shaky his voice is right now!

Mikey’s breathing doesn’t slow down and Raph feels his own panic spike. What does he do?! He should help regulate the breathing, right?! But he can’t remember how! 

Raph reaches forward and grabs Mikey’s hand, who fights against his grip. He puts Mikey’s hand on his plastron and starts breathing in and out exaggeratedly.

Is this what he should do? Should Mikey follow his breathing?! 

“Follow me,” Raph instructs, voice thankfully sounding calmer than he feels. “It’s ok, it’s ok. Everything’s ok, little brother.”

His breathing is probably shakier than what is normal, but it’s better than Mikey’s. Mikey slowly copies his breaths, hiccuping here and there. His tears slow. Raph waits until both of them seem calm to let go of Mikey’s wrist.

Mikey yanks it back like he’s been burned and avoids Raph’s gaze. Raph stares.

He still doesn’t know what to do.

It’s not like he hasn’t seen night terrors before. Leo’s had his fair share of them, especially after his coma. And, yeah, he has been as panicked as Mikey sometimes. But he always calmed down rather quickly, even when hyperventilating. By the time Raph would try to help, Leo would be physically ok.

Not this time. Not with Mikey. 

Raph hates that he froze in the first place.

It’s a miracle everyone else in the house didn’t hear their commotion. He’s surprised Leo didn’t burst in here, swords at the ready. Mikey’s thud was pretty loud and Raph’s panicked yelling wasn’t exactly quiet either.

He’s still staring at Mikey. Mikey hasn’t moved either. Raph swallows thickly.

“You ok?” he whispers.

Mikey nods. “Yeah. Sorry for—“

“Don’t apologize,” Raph snaps. “Don’t you ever apologize for that.”

He scoots closer and grabs Mikey’s shoulders. Raph feels him tense under his hold and slightly regrets his decision. There’s not enough of that regret to let go, though. He stares deep into Mikey’s eyes.

“You don’t need to apologize for that, Mikey. Do you understand?”

Mikey nods, eyes watering once again. Raph pulls him in close and hugs him tight. Thankfully, Mikey doesn’t seem to mind that. He relaxes into Raph’s hold and hiccups out a sob. That just makes Raph cling tighter.

Soon, his own tears silently join Mikey’s sobs and Mikey’s arms work their way around to cling to him back. Raph’s not letting go of Mikey any time soon.

How long has it been since Mikey hugged him? Or clung to him? Definitely before the invasion and Dimension X, that’s for sure.

Raph’s mind does a record scratch. 

Since… Dimension X… oh. He’s finally found an important piece of the puzzle. He grits his teeth and burrows his face into Mikey’s neck. His hand slowly rubs Mikey’s shell as his sobs start to subside.

Even his shell feels different… like it feels scratched. Just what exactly happened in Dimension X?

Mikey pulls away, sniffling. Raph begrudgingly lets him go, silently wiping his own eyes with one hand. He finds one of Mikey’s hands and grips it with his free one. 

He’s not letting go anytime soon. Maybe Mikey wasn’t clingy anymore, but now Raph definitely is.

“You’re not leaving my sight, ever,” Raph growls, squeezing Mikey’s hand.

Of course, this makes him chuckle. Mikey wipes his eyes and gives Raph a small smile. “Oh?”

“Never ever,” Raph vows. “And I’m not letting you go either. You’re stuck with me, little brother.”

Mikey lets out an actual laugh at that. “Not sure how that’s gonna work fighting wise, bro.”

Raph shrugs, trying to keep his own smile at bay. Yes, what he’s saying is ridiculous, but he’s also trying to be serious! “We’ll figure it out,” he retorts stubbornly.

Mikey smirks at him. “And the bathroom?” He leans in closer, as if telling Raph a secret. “You're holding my wiping hand, dude,” Mikey whispers.

Raph smacks Mikey upside the head lightly with their interlocked hands. He doesn’t mention how Mikey doesn’t make a move to make Raph let go.

“You’re so gross!” he cries out, forcing a scowl. He doesn’t particularly succeed. “Why would you even say that?!”

Mikey laughs, folding over cause of his laughter and putting his head on Raph’s shoulder. Raph smiles when he’s sure Mikey can’t see.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”

A minute goes by. He lightly tugs Mikey’s mask tails to pull him back up as his laughter dies off.

“You done yet?” Raph asks, failing to hide his fond smile as Mikey looks at him innocently.

“Done with what?”

Raph snorts. “Yeah, ok. C’mon. Let’s get some breakfast. My dinner was interrupted last night.”

He doesn’t miss how Mikey tenses at the reminder. Raph inwardly cringes. That was probably too soon. He squeezes Mikey’s hand once again and then let’s go. He slides off Leo’s bed and stretches.

“Also, there’s nothing to report watch wise. Nothing happened except for you and your horrendous snoring,” he teases, sending Mikey a smirk.

“I don’t snore that loud,” Mikey whines, either falling for the bait or playing along. It’s better than the tense look he had on earlier, so Raph takes it as a win. 

“Sure. I definitely didn’t feel the house rattling last night every time you took a breath. We can go with that.”

Mikey hops off the bed and flicks him in the shoulder. “You’re exaggerating! Besides, you’re the one who sleeps like he’s fighting someone. You’ve sleep slapped me more times than I can count!”

Raph rolls his eyes as he opens the door, holding it open for Mikey. “Yeah, right. I sleep as peacefully as a baby, Mikey. You’re the one trying to inhale the house.” He follows Mikey out the room as he gasps dramatically.

“Inhale the house?! No way, dude.” Mikey waves his hands. “And you definitely broke a hole in the wall that one time.”

Raph does not allow himself to show any recognition of what Mikey is referring to. However… he definitely did accidentally do that once. Still, he’s not gonna let Mikey know he remembers that.

“No I didn’t!”

Mikey narrows his eyes as he pauses his walk to the kitchen. He points a finger into Raph’s plastron.

Huh. This feels familiar.

“You’re a liar!” Mikey declares, grinning wildly.

Raph tries (and fails) to hide his own grin, crossing his arms. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, little brother.”

“Will you two quit it?” Donnie’s slurred voice comes from the couch. “It’s too early for this.”

Raph and Mikey glance at each other before laughing. They both try to stifle their own laughs behind their own hands.

“Sorry Dee,” Mikey says, still giggling. 

Raph swats the back of his head for it, causing Mikey to squawk. In retaliation, Mikey tugs Raph’s tattered mask tails.

“Hey!”

His sudden shout causes Leo to snap up from where he was laying on the couch. Raph didn’t see him there so the sudden movement startles him. He yelps and jumps back, hands up and ready to fight.

Leo turns his head and glares at Raph and Mikey. His face seems to change though and he zeros in on Mikey. Ah, someone must have remembered last night. 

Raph looks to Donnie and realizes his purple brother also finally woke up enough to recall everything surrounding Mikey. Beside him, Mikey fidgets. 

“Morning,” Mikey greets, chuckling nervously.

It takes a second for Leo to respond. “Morning, Mikey,” he says weakly, giving him a strained smile.

“Good morning,” Donnie echoes. He and Mikey both look away at the same time.

An awkward atmosphere envelops the living room. Raph frowns. Well, that won’t do. He doesn’t want this to happen now. He’s starving!

Raph throws an arm around Mikey’s shoulders and tugs him close, causing the younger to jump at the sudden touch. “We’re making breakfast,” he announces before he can really think through what he’s saying.

Sleep deprivation. He hates it. He also hates cooking. He’s not as bad as Leo (the toaster incident forever lingers), that’s for sure. He can actually make edible meals. It’s just that he hates the process. 

“We are?” Mikey squeaks, giving Raph a surprised look. His eyes glimmer with excitement.

Great. Now Raph really can’t take that back. He sighs tiredly.

“Yes, we are,” he confirms, trying to look as excited as Mikey. 

Mikey beams. He latches onto the arm Raph threw around his shoulders and starts pulling him to the kitchen.

Donnie and Leo watch them leave. Raph sends them a fleeting look as he’s dragged away. He hopes they see it as “Look! I got this!” look instead of a “Please worry about Mikey” look. Leo sends him an encouraging smile, albeit strained.

Eh. That’s probably the best he’ll get.

His other brothers disappear from sight. Mikey lets him go as soon as they enter the kitchen. He spins around and looks Raph in the eye, grinning like last night never happened. 

“So, what should we make?!”

Chapter Text

With all of last night's events lingering in the back of his mind, he sort of expected whatever was going on downstairs to be different. 

Casey Jones remembers waking up, dreary and dazed, wondering why a cloud of uncertainty was hovering over his head. It took him a couple minutes to remember that Mikey passed out last night and, when he did, he let out a groan and flopped back onto his pillow. He had rubbed his face frustratedly.

There’s no reason to feel guilty over… all this. Well, maybe there is, considering Mikey’s reaction to him, Donnie, and April entering the kitchen yesterday – the turtle had obviously flipped out. What? Did he think Casey was the type to not keep his word? He only told Donnie and April that he knew something when they questioned him in the barn, instead of going to dinner like he was supposed to tell them to do. Casey never specified what that something was.

Even with this dreariness hovering over him, he had still pushed himself out of bed. Casey Jones was not a quitter, nor was he scared of whatever consequences his actions may have. He just doesn’t get scared!

Well, he does when rats are around, but that's not the point.

So, yeah. When he finally hops downstairs, hockey stick in hand and trying to keep his smile wide, he isn’t prepared to hear laughter coming from the kitchen.

He skips the last step of the stairs and stands in the living room, head tilted towards the kitchen.

“That’s not how you flip a pancake!” Mikey’s loud, rambunctious laughter echoes. Raph’s muffled yell is the response.

Well, that’s not what he expected.

“Is Raph… helping Mikey cook?” he asks incredulously, not turning to the two turtles he knows are on the couch, listening just as intently as him.

“He volunteered,” Leo replies, the softness in his voice catching Casey off guard. He looks at Leo.

The blue turtle is smiling even though there’s a small flicker of concern behind those dark blue eyes. He’s drinking in the ruckus Mikey and Raph are making, relishing in it. Donnie seems to be doing the same, a smaller smile on his own face. Casey stands there.

“Huh.”

He keeps listening to Raph and Mikey bicker. He stays in front of the stairs, unsure what he should do. This feels weird after last night.

Casey supposes he should… somewhat apologize to Mikey for freaking him out last night. He doesn’t regret his deal enough to apologize for the “deal” in full, especially if it gets the orange turtle the help he needs, but he does regret hurting him on top of whatever he was dealing with. That wasn’t cool of him to do.

Still, he smiles in the direction of the kitchen and slowly sits down on the steps. This is a nice weird — a nice change from last night. He’s sure it will be ruined when breakfast comes, so he’s going to soak it in like the two turtle brothers in front of him.

April has other plans.

“What are you doing?” she questions from behind him, confusion clear in her voice. 

It takes a second for anyone to reply. It’s a long enough second to hear Raph laugh in harmony with Mikey’s own. Casey snorts, because that was a rare situation! He’s rarely ever heard Raph laugh like that!

“Listening,” Donnie tells April quietly as she sits down next to Casey. Even she bends to the atmosphere of the room.

Aha! That’s it! Mikey and Raph are sirens and this is their siren song. Not that Casey's complaining, though. This is nice.

Or is that the siren song talking… hm.

It’s when the voices in the kitchen quiet down to whispers that everyone knows breakfast is ready. They catch a glimpse of Mikey setting up the table, but the turtle purposely doesn’t look in their direction. Makes sense, in Casey’s mind. This is probably a poor reminder of last night.

Raph is the one to finally walk over and tell them breakfast is ready. He says it gruffly, warning signs in his eyes. He looks specifically at Casey, April, and Donnie. The latter two duck their head guiltily while Casey just nods. He knows when to pretend something never happened.

He gets up and places his hockey stick in the corner of the room, leaning it against the wall. Everyone starts to head into the dining room. Leo seems to struggle getting up so Casey crosses in front of the couch and pulls him up gently by the shoulder and pats his shell. Leo gives him a small smile in thanks.

Despite himself trying to stay in the high spirits he was before, a flutter of butterflies awaken in his gut. He hates how he’s nervous. It’s just Mikey!

Then again, maybe that’s the problem this time around. It’s Mikey — the guy who passed out after getting up too fast because he wanted to get away from Casey (and co). Maybe his nervousness is a slight bit warranted.

Just a little bit.

He takes a seat at the end of the table, the one near the window. Mikey will probably choose the other end, like he did last night, since it is the easiest to escape from. Maybe it’ll be better for Casey to stay away, just to try and ease Mikey’s nerves a little. 

Instead of Raph sitting in between him and Leo, Raph chooses to sit across from Leo. This effectively steals Donnie’s seat from last night, so Donnie moves one seat over and ends up across from April. Literally everyone seems tense and Mikey hasn’t even entered yet. Casey swallows his own discomfort and leans forward, wafting the smell of the pancakes already on the table towards him.

“Mmm,” he hums. “Wow, Raph! Surprised these aren’t burnt,” Casey teases, sending the red turtle a smirk as he sighs exasperatedly.

“I’m an ok cook, Jones!” Raph tries to defend himself. “I make a mean cake and we all know it. Besides, Leo and Donnie are the ones who would char the pancakes.”

Leo straightens, frowning. He tries to say something but Donnie cuts him off with a slightly offended gasp. “I can’t believe you lumped me in with Leo, Raph. He blew up a toaster! I would never do that!”

“That was years ago!” Leo protests, crossing his arms and looking very Raph-like. Casey chuckles. “I’m sure I’ve grown.”

There’s a bunch of sarcastic agreements across the table, including April’s and Casey’s. That makes Leo look at them all with such a shocked and betrayed look that Casey can’t help but laugh outright.

“Sorry, Leo, but it’s the truth. Didn’t you once set boiling water on fire when trying to make Kraft Mac’n’Cheese?” April asks, grinning.

“Oh, oh, oh, oh! He did!” Donnie exclaims, pointing a finger at April. They all laugh again.

“What?!” Leo cries amongst the laughter. “That’s not what happened at all! The water smelled smokey, guys, it didn’t actually catch fire!”

Raph snorts and holds a hand up as if to say “Get a load of this guy”. “That just proves our point, Fearless. Boiling water shouldn’t smell like anything! You suck at cooking!”

And that’s when Mikey decides to make his grand entrance, carrying both maple syrup and chocolate syrup.

“Who’s cooking?” he asks, trying to look more calm than he is. His shaking hands give him away.

It seems like everyone but Raph pauses, so Casey jumpstarts his own mind and starts talking. 

“Leo is saying he can cook, we’re saying he can’t,” he tells Mikey, leaning his chair back as Leo shoots him a glare.

“How would you know? I haven’t tried to cook in years! And you weren’t even there!”

Casey shrugs in response while Mikey chuckles, sitting down in his chair directly across the table. Casey continues his balancing chair act.

“Sorry, bro, but I’d never trust you to do anything in any kitchen, period,” Mikey teases, waggling his fingers near Leo’s face, who decides to playfully bite at them. Mikey pulls away just in time with a laugh. 

“The chef has decided,” Raph announces, nodding sagely. “Leo’s forever banned from the kitchen. Everyone who agrees say ‘I’.”

“What?!” Leo’s voice cracks. He is trying so hard to fight back a smile. It’s not really working.

“I,” Casey says, holding up his right hand and forcing his face to look as serious as possible. He lets his chair's front legs touch the floor once again.

“I”, Donnie and April both chorus, their hands up. Leo gapes at them.

Everyone turns to Mikey, waiting for him to also raise his hand. He strokes his chin like Master Splinter would, eyeing Leo carefully. He seems to be calmer than when he first entered, which is good. Mikey sends a side-glance to Raph.

“Mikey,” Leo says and it sounds more like a plea. It’s what pushes Mikey over the edge. The turtle raises his right arm and locks eyes with his oldest brother.

Casey smirks. The ultimate betrayal!

“I.”

The table erupts in cheers and laughs or, in Leo’s case, an exasperated groan. He’s not fooling anyone, though. He’s smiling too wide to really be upset over this defeat. Casey holds up an L on his forehead and blows a raspberry at Leo.

“Suck it!”

April slaps his shoulder. She’s still laughing. “Real mature, Jones.”

“Why, thank you!” he replies, doing a small bow. Donnie kicks him under the table. Casey looks over to the purple turtle.

Donnie’s staring at him, a challenge in his eyes. He’s smiling. For this time, the challenge is lighthearted. Casey grins. Doesn’t Donatello know that he’s the King of Footsie?! He has a little sister, after all!

He kicks Donnie back and the war is on. April laughs at their antics while Mikey pats Leo’s head, who seems to be “mourning” the “loss” of his kitchen privileges. Raph is seemingly rubbing it in his face, before getting bored of that. 

“I’m hungry,” the red clad turtle states, causing Casey and Donnie to pause their war. “Are we gonna dig in or what?”

Casey kicks Donnie one more time for good measure before replying. “Sounds good to me, dude! Mikey, you want first pancake?” He holds up the pancake plate from his side of the table.

Mikey stares at him. They both know what day it is, not that it really matters anymore. After what happened last night, he’s sure that they all would be talking to Mikey about everything regardless of their “deal”. Still, he smiles at the youngest turtle genuinely. He’s not going to start that interrogation now, someone else can. 

“Yeah, sure.” Mikey reaches for the plate, giving Casey a strained smile. His answer seems to lack the usual Mikey energy, but that was to be expected.

He watches as Mikey takes the first pancake and remembers his realization from a week ago. He was right then and he’s right now.

Mikey will be just fine.

Breakfast was surprisingly good. Donnie heard the heatless argument about how to make pancakes throughout the entire morning, so he thought they would at least be a bit messed up, but they weren’t! It was a miracle only Mikey’s patience and Raph’s confidence could produce.

And that isn’t even mentioning the aura at the table! When Mikey first came in, everyone froze. Rightfully so, in Donnie’s mind. How do they make Mikey feel comfortable? Well, contradictory to the glaring Mikey had done at the guy, Casey was the one to bring the energy back to something more comfortable. It was… nice.

Mikey seemed much more at ease at breakfast. Sure, Donnie also observed some underlying nervousness to what may happen after breakfast, but that was to be expected. After all, they were going to politely ask if Mikey was ok. 

They all knew there was a chance he could lie. Donnie knew it best, having calculated how probable it was. But looking at how Mikey chose to poke fun at them all, Donnie has a good feeling about their upcoming talk.

He hopes his gut is right.

Raph loudly burps after he chugs the last of his milk, having foregone Cranberry juice because “it doesn’t go well with pancakes, Mikey”. That had started the whole “which juice is better” argument again, and this time Donnie could actually participate and enjoy the debate. No one seemed to win, despite Mikey’s stellar argument of how “Orange juice goes with pancakes, which is why it's better than Cranberry juice, dude!”.

“That’s gross, Raph.” Leo sends him a disgusted look. Donnie nods and waves away the fumes Raph released.

“You ain’t seen nothing yet, Leo!” Casey chimes in, leaning forward eagerly. He lets out a loud belch that leaves Mikey and Raph laughing while everyone else groans.

“Boys,” April mutters, and Donnie watches as she meets Leo’s gaze. Leo chokes on his water at that and starts laughing.

“Not all boys,” Donnie refutes, one hand up and clutching his plastron. “Me and Leo are very well mannered.”

That causes Mikey to shake his head, still giggling. “No way, bro! You’re just as bad as the rest of us! Like, when’s the last time you took a shower, dude? You’ve been in that barn for way too long.”

Donnie squeaks at the accusation, his face heating up. “Wha– I took a shower two days ago, Mikey!”

And it’s true! He couldn’t take one last night because of… well, everything! So his last shower was two days ago now. However, Mikey narrows his eyes like he doesn’t believe Donnie. Ridiculous! Why would he lie about that?!

“Alright, alright,” Leo says, hands up placatingly. He switches the subject. “It seems like everyone’s done, yeah? We’re going to clean up and go to the living room. Team meeting.”

Donnie catches Mikey gulping out of the corner of his eye. His little brother doesn’t argue, though. They all know the voice Leo just used. It’s the “I’m leader and what I say goes” voice. His decision is final.

The mood lowers considerably after that. Everyone begins to help clean the table, except Leo whenever April intervenes once again. She shoos him to the couch. The rest of them bring their dirty dishes to Mikey, who has already begun washing them. Usually, he waits until after lunch to do the dishes. Donnie knows this is a way to stall. He leaves Mikey to it.

The talk will be happening either way.

One by one they reconvene in the living room. Leo’s already on the couch facing the TV, Raph on his right side. Donnie walks over and takes the seat left of Leo. Casey enters the room next and hops over the side of the other couch, landing on it with a small whoop. April follows in after a minute, sitting on the other side of Casey.

Dishes clink in the kitchen.

“So…” Raph starts quietly. “How are we doing this thing?”

Leo folds his hands in his lap, looking troubled. “I guess we should just… ask him? Ask him about what we’ve noticed and say that we’re worried, but… we can’t push him to open up.”

Donnie watches Casey straighten up at that. “He passed out last night, Leo. He needs to open up.”

“And he has,” Raph quietly growls, looking slightly embarrassed at the statement. He doesn’t elaborate further. It makes Casey back off though.

Something must’ve happened last night whenever Raph took Mikey to bed.

It’s interesting, Donnie notes. He didn’t realize how protective Casey was over Mikey. He really has become an… essential part of their life, hasn't he? Even without the fight for April. 

Donnie doesn’t know what they’d do without his presence. He thinks that says a lot, since it's coming from him.

Silence overlaps the room. The sink turns on in the kitchen. Donnie rubs a hand over his face. It’s good that Mikey opened up to Raph. He was finally coming to them. Maybe… maybe he just needed a small push.

“We’ll ask about it,” Donnie decides, putting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward. “We’ll ask gently and remind him we’re here, no matter what. He has nothing to be scared of. He isn’t alone with… whatever he has going on.”

Everyone nods at that, Leo slowly bumping his shoulder. Donnie looks to him and finds a proud smile on his brother’s worried face. Donnie sends a fragile smile back in thanks.

There’s so many ways this could go wrong and a thousand ways this could go right. He has to hold onto hope that it’ll be ok – that Mikey will be ok. He seemed better this morning, didn’t he? Maybe all Mikey needs is them, together as a family.

He doesn’t hear Mikey come in. He slowly circles around and sits on the carpet in front of the couch Donnie is on, directly in front of Leo. First he sits down kneeling, like he’s in trouble or in front of Sensei, before he rethinks his decision and finally settles into a criss-cross position. He doesn’t meet any of their eyes.

After a moment of silence, Leo decides to speak up.

“I think we all know why we’re here,” Leo starts uncertainly. Mikey seems to tense up even further and Donnie cringes at Leo’s words. “We’re worried about you, Mikey.” Leo pauses, obviously trying to figure out his next words, when Mikey speaks up.

“Sorry,” his little brother whispers. “Didn’t mean to.”

Donnie feels his forehead crease. “Don’t worry about it. We don’t mind being worried. As older brothers, it’s part of our job,” he lightly jokes, looking to Raph for reassurance.

“Besides, we’re always worried about you, little brother,” Raph adds on, crossing his arms. He’s trying to look nonchalant and is failing. His eyes aren’t as fiery as they usually are.

Mikey frowns, his knee beginning to bounce as he looks at Donnie and his brothers. “But I don’t want you to be worried. I can handle myself!” His tone comes across defensive and argumentative.

Great. Are they failing this talk already? He takes a deep breath to calm himself. 

“They’re not saying you can’t, Mikey,” April gently replies. She’s seemingly calm, which is exactly what they need. “They’re just saying they worry. You worry about them too, don’t you? Do you think they can handle themselves?”

Mikey opens his mouth to argue before, clipping it shut and looking to the side. Donnie sends a grateful glance to April. That helped convey the point they were getting across really well. They all know Mikey can take care of himself and he’s proved himself plenty of times, but that doesn’t get rid of their worry – their love for one another.

“You really worried us last night, otouto,” Leo says quietly. It makes him and Raph both tense at the familiar nickname.

He looks towards Leo. It’s been so long since he last heard that word uttered from his mouth. How long has it  been, exactly? Years? And yet he’s glad Leo said it. The shock factor and sadness that comes with the nickname seems to resonate within Mikey, who grips his ankles tightly.

“I’m sorry,” Mikey whispers, and it sounds like he’s about to cry. Leo makes the first move and gently slides off the couch, closer to Mikey. “I didn’t mean to.”

Leo reaches out and gently takes Mikey’s hand from his ankle. “I know.”

“I just can’t sleep,” Mikey continues, voice wavering. Donnie catches Raph’s glance and nods. They both move to sit on opposite sides of Mikey. 

“Why not?” Donnie asks, hovering his hand hesitantly before placing it down on Mikey’s knee. He tries to keep his touch feather light. Mikey looks away from him and at Raph, who sighs.

“You want me to tell them?” Mikey nods, starting to play with Leo’s hand and Raph decides to continue. “Last night we talked a bit about it. Mikey told me he literally cannot sleep. He… worries about things… a lot of things,” Raph tells them, rubbing his arm. “I had to, uh, ‘keep watch’ last night… those kind of worries.”

Well. The sleep deprivation from keeping watch explains why Raph volunteered to help Mikey cook out of the blue, even if the explanation itself was still pretty vague. They all know Raph hates cooking. Still, despite the vagueness, the short explanation is enough to get the point across. Leo looks heartbroken by it. Donnie turns to Mikey, who’s still not looking at them. He swallows uncomfortably.

“That’s not all, is it?” Donnie regrets the question as soon as it is out of his mouth. Mikey snaps his head up and stares, eyes watering.

“Hey, hey,” Leo cuts in worriedly. “It’s ok, you don’t have to tell us right now. One problem at a time, right?”

Mikey shakes his head, gritting his teeth as his tears threaten to spill over. “I don’t want to tell you at all!” he yells, ripping his hand from Leo’s and pulling his knee away from Donnie. Donnie stares, shocked at the uncharacteristic outburst. “You’re all finally getting better! Leo’s up and Raph’s not by him 24/7 and… and Donnie used to not be holed up in the barn but I ruined that by being stupid and letting stuff slip! I don’t want to hurt you guys!”

Time seems to stop as tears roll down Mikey’s cheeks. He wipes them furiously while Donnie and everyone else stares on. 

He… he thought… he thought Donnie…

“That’s stupid!” Donnie spits out before he can think to stop himself. Everyone but Mikey sends him venomous glares, causing him to wince. He probably could have worded that better.

“What do you mean?” Mikey snaps, looking more guarded than before. Oh, great. He just had to open his mouth!

Though… Donnie didn’t disagree with what he said.

“I said,” he starts, taking a deep breath and giving Mikey a stern look. “That's stupid. And it is. I was the one who messed up, Mikey. I,” he pauses, looking away from Mikey’s furrowed expression. “Yes, I was worried when I holed myself off, but it was also a selfish decision. I wanted to talk to you and give you a shoulder to lean on and… and I didn’t know how. I figured if I could just… stay in the barn, nothing would happen. Like the world wouldn’t continue.”

No one seems to know what to say at that. Donnie understands. That’s not how the world works. As the genius, he should know this. He should have let his little brother know he was here for him. 

But Donnie didn’t.

“Well… that’s stupid,” Mikey says back, less heated than before. It makes Donnie snort humorlessly.

“Yeah. It is. It was.” Donnie offers out his hand. Mikey doesn’t take it, but he keeps it there hovering in the air anyway. “I’m sorry Mikey. I shouldn’t have holed myself off when Leo was unconscious. I should have talked to you and been there for everyone, just as you wanted to be for me. And I shouldn’t have holed myself off when I found out about… you know. I should have offered to be there for you. You aren’t something to fix, Mikey. You are something to help heal and that starts with just being there for you. So, I’m here... now. I’m sorry I’m so late.”

By the end of his small speech, Mikey is crying openly. Apparently, that was something he really needed to hear. In a blur, the orange turtle knocks into him, his arms around his shell and his head in Donnie’s neck. Donnie hugs back just as fiercely when his shock has properly faded.

“I’m here, Mikey. We all are,” he whispers, beginning to blink back his own tears. “You’re not alone.”

A hand on his shoulder causes him to glance up. Leo is smiling at him proudly once again, despite the clear sadness on his face. Donnie inclines his head. He doesn’t deserve thanks for an overdue apology.

Mikey slowly pulls away, wiping his eyes and sniffling. “There’s a lot to talk about,” he mutters, once again not looking at any of them.

“You did hear what Donnie said, right?” Casey asks, startling the four turtles. Donnie honestly forgot he and April were here. “You’re not alone. We’ll talk through it together like… a gossip party! Just a bit more serious,” he finishes with a wink.

Mikey huffs. “More like a lot more serious,” he retorts, but there’s a small smile on his face. He sighs, suddenly seeming much older than he actually is. It reminds Donnie of how he acted in Dimension X and his stomach flips at the memory. “Ok. I guess I can… say some stuff.”

Leo nods, obviously grateful that Mikey is finally willingly opening up. “Whenever you’re ready, otouto.”

It takes a couple minutes before Mikey opens his mouth, but even then he seems unsure. He shuts it and begins to fiddle with his own hands. “Can you guys just ask questions, first? I don’t… I don’t know how to start.”

They all look at each other and nod. If that’s what Mikey prefers. Donnie decides to go first.

“You said your thoughts keep you awake at night. Is there something else that keeps you up?” he asks once again. He hopes the repeat question is an easy start off. 

Again, Mikey visibly hesitates. Raph reaches forward and flicks him in the arm, giving Mikey a small smile when he looks over. The message is clear.

“You got this.”

Mikey takes a deep breath in and out, before nodding. He opens his mouth and Donnie waits.

The conversation finally begins.

Chapter Text

“My mind sorta runs… rampant, at night,” Mikey starts. He fidgets with his own hand and avoids his older brothers’ gazes.

It’s not like he didn’t know this would happen. Last night was exhausting, and even that seems like an understatement. This morning wasn’t much better, even with Raph’s welcome distraction of making breakfast with him and the joyful atmosphere at the dinner table. It was all overshadowed by this right here — spilling his guts to his brothers.

Donnie was right, though. He’s not alone – not anymore. Maybe he can share a little bit and then… he and his brothers can take care of each other together. 

He missed being together with them.

“Maybe that’s a side effect from Dimension X,” Mikey continues, chuckling nervously. “But it could also be a side effect from… uh… not sleeping,” he mutters, crossing his arms tightly. 

“What do you mean?” Raph asks, his own arms crossed. He seems to be mirroring Mikey, or maybe Mikey’s mirroring him. Who knows.

Mikey’s leg starts to shake. “The slugs were the only, uh, suitable food source I could find. Which was great! It means I was able to find food! But the slugs were a bit like energy drinks, I guess. I didn’t need to sleep – I didn’t get tired. So I didn’t ever rest.”

And, despite that horrible bit of information, his brothers relax. Mikey stares, a bit confused. Why is that information a relief to them?

“We can work on that together,” Leo promises. “How long were you there, then, to have not needed any sleep? A couple days at most?” he asks, and while it’s phrased like a question directed to Mikey, his eldest brother looks to Donnie.

Wait. They didn’t understand. Shell, why is he so bad at explaining things? He wasn’t there for only a couple days, he couldn’t have been–

“Sounds about right,” Donnie mutters, bringing a hand to his chin. “Maybe four days at most.”

“No way,” Mikey cuts in, and his voice sounds a bit too frantic to even his own ears. He’s smiling nervously. “No way I was there for only four days! It was at least over ten,” he argues, leg bouncing even faster.

That causes Donnie and Leo to glance at each other. Mikey can tell Raph is staring at him with narrowed eyes, but he’s busy trying to make sure his other brothers understand that he was not there for only four days. That's too little for everything he went through… or… was it?

What if the slugs healed him too? What if they sped up his healing by giving his body the nutrients he needed?! His dislocated shoulder would’ve taken about 9-10 days to heal normally! What if the slugs–

“At least?” Raph questions, effectively breaking Mikey out of his spiral. “You mean you don’t know how long you were there?”

Mikey swallows and shifts uncomfortably. “It’s not like I had a watch, bro,” he lightly jokes, and Donnie’s face does a funny scrunch at that.

Oh. Yeah. He’s used that joke before.

“Then how do you know you were there for at least ten days?” Donnie asks. Mikey can see the gears turning in his purple brother’s mind, but no conclusion seems to be presenting itself.

Mikey’s starting to regret the “please ask questions” route he went with. It’s starting to get overwhelming.

“I, uh, well…” he peeters off and glances at Leo. Leo is waiting patiently. His calm exterior, even though Mikey can clearly see the whirlwind that is going on inside his eldest brother, reminds him to take a deep breath. “I ran into Traag and Granitor once, before you guys showed up,” Mikey admits, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “My arm got dislocated? And, um, I remembered Leo’s dislocation took nine days to heal and I figured, since I had to keep moving, that mine would’ve taken at least ten days to heal.”

“Oh,” Donnie replies dumbly. Silence follows and it makes Mikey’s skin crawl.

“It could’ve been longer, or maybe even shorter. I don’t know. The slugs could’ve provided extra stuff so I could heal faster so maybe I’m wrong there,” Mikey rambles, starting to move his hands as he talks. “There wasn’t a, uh, day night cycle thingy either. Everything was always the same. Nothing ever seemed to sleep! So, yeah. No clue how long I was there, dudes!” he finishes off with a manic chuckle.

He hates not knowing how long he was there. He hates it. 

It takes a moment for anyone to respond. Of course, the first person to do so is Casey.

“So… does that mean you’re the oldest now or what?”

It’s obviously supposed to be a joke. However, it is not what Mikey ever wanted to hear ever in his life. He’s the younger brother. He likes being the younger brother. Why would he joke about that?!

Mikey sends him a glare over his shoulders. It seems his brothers do the same, if Casey’s guilty expression is to go by.

“Not the time?”

“Not the time,” Raph growls out, scooting closer to Mikey. They’re close enough to bump knees.

Leo sighs, drawing Mikey’s attention towards him. “So, is your arm ok? It healed, right?”

Mikey gives a small smile. Of course, Leo’s worried about everything — even the small things. “Yeah, dude. It’s been good as new for a while now,” he assures. He rolls his shoulder and waves his arm, just to ease his big bro’s worries even more. “Perfectly fine!”

Leo gives him a small smile in return.

“Did Traag and Granitor also scratch your shell?” Raph randomly blurts, catching Mikey off guard.

How’d he know about that? Yeah, maybe Mikey wasn’t exactly hiding his shell from his bros, but it doesn’t look scratched. Or, he doesn’t think it does. It’s hard to check your own shell, even with a mirror. 

“Yeah,” Mikey answers cautiously. “Is it that obvious?” He turns and tries to catch a glimpse of his scratch over his shoulder. He’s unsuccessful.

“No,” Raph replies, tapping his arm. “I felt it when we… hugged.”

Mikey feels his cheeks heat up in sync with Raph’s. Ah, yes. His mini breakdown. How could he ever forget that?

“I can’t believe your shell was scratched and we didn’t notice,” Donnie mutters, not really looking at anything as far as Mikey can tell. It’s sorta funny. Mikey chuckles.

“You didn’t notice a lot of things cause I didn’t want you to, bro,” Mikey says wryly, poking Donnie’s knee.

That seems to be the wrong thing to say, somehow. Everyone tenses back up. They must think they’re forcing him to do this and they would be right… somewhat.

If Mikey really didn’t want to talk (or know that he needs to talk), he would have kept his mouth shut. He could’ve downplayed a lot of what happened in DImension X. Mikey’s being truthful, though. Maybe he isn’t sharing how scared the place made him feel, sure, but he’s telling them stuff. He literally could have chosen to sit and not open his mouth.

And yet… somewhere deep down… he knew talking would help. Part of him wanted to tell his brothers and be hugged so tightly he couldn't breathe, especially when he first came back. This was a good thing, even if he never wanted it to happen in the first place.

Plus, as this conversation went on, the more… willing he became. He didn’t become more relaxed, per se, but he wasn’t as anxious as before? Conclusion: Mikey’s feelings were weird but he wouldn’t still be here if he didn’t want to be.

“I want to tell you now, though,” Mikey whispers, drawing his knee up and placing his chin on it. “Part of me always wanted to. I was just… scared, I guess.”

“You’re being really brave, otouto,” Leo praises, giving him another smile. “And I’m glad that you want to tell us now. That's… that's good.”

Mikey nods, too shy after his admission to really say anything at that. Leo’s praise is the highest of the high, only second to Sensei’s. 

April and Casey begin to whisper from their couch. April seems to be arguing with Casey before she lets out a groan and shushes him. She rolls her eyes and mouths “boys” to Leo, who snorts. 

Mikey blinks. That’s the second time she’s done that today! Since when do they have an inside joke?!

“Casey wants to know, and I quote, what ‘your deal’ with the cows is, or was,” April states, ignoring the betrayed look Casey sends her.

Mikey cringes at the reminder of “cows”. Cows in a green pasture, scared enough to consider attacking him. A cow in a pink place, as magenta as the sky and its blood as purple as purple can get, splattered on his face. The leathery feel of a cloak on his shoulders while he tries not to gag at the thought of his maybe friend. The simmering hatred in his gut.

“Yeah,” Mikey croaks. “Cows.”

That answers nothing, he knows. He takes a minute to gather himself, and then a minute more because he’s selfish. Another minute goes by before Raph seems to have had enough. He also has a knowing look on his face, like he somehow can read Mikey’s mind. 

Of course the avid animal-lover of the family would figure him out first.

“What was his name?” Raph asks gently. His voice is so soft it takes Mikey a moment to register that the question came from Raph, of all people.

“Sir McSky,” Mikey tells him, chuckling a bit. “Not one of my best works name wise… but he did blend in with the sky really well.”

Raph nods, patting Mikey’s shoulder as if to say “go on”.

Mikey does.

“He was a weird cow,” he says. “Like, he was sorta Earthen in a way? Body-shape wise and sound wise. I swear, when he first moo-ed I thought I had gone crazy.” Mikey smiles at the memory. “He had these huge horns and his nose was smack dab in the middle of them, on his forehead. His snout could break in three like a squid and his eyes were… so cool! Like a neon yellow. And,” Mikey pauses for dramatic effect. “Sir McSky was the first entity on Dimension X that didn’t try to kill me… besides the slugs, I guess.”

He stops there, like he can prevent the rest of the story from playing out as it did. He brings his other knee up and curls his arms around his legs. 

Sometimes, he dreams about Sir McSky. It always ends the same. Mikey waking up, gasping for air and the phantom feeling of blood on his face. 

“What happened?” 

He’s not sure who asked. Maybe April.

“I’m green,” Mikey says with a bitterness he didn’t even know he had. “Everything in Dimension X was pink or purple or gray. I stuck out like a sore thumb. I was found and the shot meant for me went wide. Sir McSky died, thanks to the Kraang.” He sorta snarls the last word. 

The Kraang did this. He hates them. He really, really does.

“I’m sorry, Mike,” Raph whispers, scooting over once more and then pulling Mikey gently into his side. “I’m sure he was a good friend for that short while.”

Mikey blinks angrily, trying to force back tears that were threatening to spring forward. “Yeah. He was. Still is, in a way.”

He’s sure that comment confuses his audience, but he won’t explain that one for a while. He’s not sure he is ready to tell his family how he skinned his friend seconds after he died, and how he still has the cloak made from said friend.

Well… unless that was destroyed with the rest of the lair.

“Do… you want pause here, Mikey?” Leo gently asks, ignoring the surprised look Donnie sends him. “We can come back to this later today, otouto.”

And it’s a nice offer. It really is. It helps take off the lingering pressure on Mikey’s metaphorical chest – the pressure that made him feel like he absolutely had to do this. But… he honestly just wants to get all of this done and over with. Dump all this out and move on.

He straightens from Raph’s hold. “Nah, it's fine, bro. Thanks, but I just want to get this over with.”

Leo nods in understanding and sends a glance to Donnie, who coughs to get Mikey’s attention. 

“I have… a couple questions,” Donnie starts off, almost apologetically. 

Mikey snorts. “Course ya do, Dee. It’s you,” he lightly teases. He takes a deep breath in and out. “Throw them at me, bro.”

Donnie nods. Mikey’s teasing didn’t seem to help his nervousness surrounding his questions, making Mikey’s own anxiety spring up once again. Great.

“I’m just going to ask them all,” Donnie tells him. “First, how did you learn Kraang-script? Second, why did you learn Kraang-script? And third…” he trails off, fidgeting with his mask tails. Apparently, the last one is a doozy. Mikey braces himself. “What was with your… um, ‘helmet’?” Donnie finishes, brownish-red eyes finally locking with Mikey’s light blues.

Mikey stares awkwardly. “Oh,” he says, voice cracking. “That. Uh, yeah. Ok.”

April and Casey seem confused by Mikey’s reaction to Donnie’s question, while Raph and Leo tense under it. He’s not sure if they remember Mikey’s… “helmet”, as Donnie put it. Regardless, Mikey’s reaction probably lets them know that the last question is a huge deal.

Shell. He’s going to have to explain that, isn’t he?

“First,” Mikey shakily starts. “I didn’t learn Kraang-script. Not fully, anyways. I realized that the Kraang use a letter-like system to write to each other and guessed that the top and bottom word was ‘Kraang’ in Kraang-script. I was cross referencing a map for that so it was pretty easy to find that pattern, I guess.” He chuckles nervously. “I was also trying to read Kraang-script to find the base Leatherhead may be at. I didn’t want another run in with Traag and Granitor if I could help it.”

Donnie nods. “That’s incredible! You just… figured out part of a language by looking at a pattern! I guess that is somewhat how languages are translated but, still! That was genius, Mikey. But, how did you get access to all that information?”

Mikey winces. More reminders leading to his “helmet”. “Oh, well, I took down a small ship and was able to get the dashboard to light up.”

“But those dashboards are so confusing!” Donnie exclaims, eyes alight. “They don’t react normally. They’re… unpredictable! How did you figure out how to use one?!”

Mikey laughs. “Of course they’re confusing, you go by Earth rules,” Mikey teases, allowing his legs to go back to a criss-cross position. He points to himself. “Me? I go by Dimension X rules. Crazy knows crazy, ya know?” He sends a smug smirk to Donnie, only to let it fall when he reads Donnie’s face.

He looks horrified for some reason. Why? What’d Mikey say? Mikey coughs awkwardly and lowers his hand.

“It’s like how the physics are different from Earth, dude,” Mikey continues with a shrug, trying to ease his brother’s expression.

Donnie hums, choosing to try and move on from whatever disturbed him before. “That… makes sense. And, again, you’re a genius for figuring it out,” he says, sending a strained smile Mikey’s way. Seriously, what did Mikey say? “And… the ‘helmet’?”

Mikey freezes. He sort of hoped they had forgotten about that last question.

That too brings memories… memories he’d rather forget. His sanity definitely lapsed there and thinking back on that scares him. He had mutilated a Kraang — not just murdered, mutilated. Killing was one thing but ripping out your enemy’s skull and wearing it as a weird crown/helmet thing?

That was way too far. 

Sensei would be disappointed in him. Sadness would overrule the disappointment, and both emotions would never outshine Sensei’s love for him… but he would not approve of what he’d done. Mikey doesn’t approve of it himself either.

So what in the world would his brothers think?

“Mikey?” Leo gently pushes, eyes full of concern.

He doesn’t think he wants to find out.

“I found it,” Mikey lies, giving a small shrug. He plays nonchalant, pretending to not care about the question at all. 

None of them seem to buy it. Guilt crawls up his shell. He doesn’t want them to know. Except now they all know he’s lying and purposely lied to them.

Donnie’s staring at him like he’s hoping to pry the truth out telepathically. Raph’s frowning at him, seemingly wondering what was so bad that Mikey won’t tell them about it. And Leo…

He looks like he failed somebody. Doesn’t take a genius to guess who.

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure that would work.” He chuckles bitterly. 

“You can tell us anything, Mikey,” Raph says gruffly. “I mean, we may judge you for it, but it’s not like we’ll love you any less.”

“Raph!” Leo admonishes, flicking his shoulder.

“What?! It’s true!”

Mikey sends Raph a smile. That does somehow make him feel better, in a silly way. He just has to… own up to what he did… in front of the three people he admires most. Not scary at all.

Well… no scarier than Dimension X.

“The ship? That I took down?” Mikey starts, averting his gaze from his brothers. The floor is starting to look pretty interesting. “The Kraang didn’t die in the crash. It came after me.”

All of the room’s attention turns to him as he starts speaking. It’s suffocating. Mikey ignores it.

“I killed it,” he admits, clenching his hands into fists to try to stop them from shaking. “And, uh, didn’t… stop. I was… really angry,” he whispers and memories seem to flash forward.

The smell of the laser beam mixing with the smell of the inside of a Kraang. The feeling of sticky, purple blood coating his hands. The squelch of the organs as he cut and cut and cut and cut—

“And then… yeah. I went inside and figured out the technology,” Mikey finishes, hoping they didn’t notice how spacey he was. How long that pause may have been. 

Sometimes, he can still taste—

Leo leans forward and gently takes his clenched fist into his hands. Mikey stares. “I’m sorry you felt like you had to do that, Mikey.”

And… and there’s no judgment there. Mikey knows because he searches. He searches his eldest brother’s deep blue eyes for any sign of disgust, hatred, disappointment… and he finds nothing. Just endless love and worry and sympathy.

“Thanks,” Mikey says, voice wavering as he unclenches his fist and squeezes Leo’s hand. 

Silence envelops the room. Really, what can one say after learning what Mikey did? Oh, no big deal, brah? No, it’s definitely a big deal.

Raph slowly leans his shoulder against Mikey’s, green eyes still searching for something. Mikey wonders if he’s thinking about that time he held Raph back from going after Splinter and Shredder, after he came out of Dimension X. Does he realize why he did that now?

Will he ever unless explicitly told?

Donnie scoots forward and knocks his knee gently on Mikey’s. Mikey turns his focus to his purple brother. He doesn’t look shocked, which isn’t too surprising. Mikey wonders how long ago he put together the gruesome picture, only to ignore it in favor of better ones.

He doesn’t dare look at April or Casey. Mikey’s always been ok with not being a human but… that moment was the closest he’s ever felt to being a monster.

Mikey blinks back tears. This was a lot. Telling everyone everything and then this endless love and support that he was so scared he wouldn’t get… overwhelming. This time, though, it’s overwhelming in a good way.

“Is there anything else we need to know about?” 

It’s Raph who asks the question, surprisingly enough. Mikey hums thoughtfully.

“It’s not a problem anymore, but I had to adjust to solid food after slug goo for so long,” he says in a tone that conveys the sentence like a joke. It’s supposed to be lighthearted, as it isn’t a problem anymore. 

April laughs, causing the four turtles jump at her sudden loudness. “Sorry,” she says, waving her hand. “I just— is that why we had Spaghettios so often that first week?!”

Mikey starts chuckling because, really, April’s laughter is infectious! “Would you believe me if I said I just really liked Spaghettios?” he asks, fluttering his eyelashes innocently. It makes April laugh harder. “I’ll take that as a no,” Mikey snickers.

“Ugh, I hated that week,” Raph groans, leaning away from Mikey. “That was way too much Spaghettios. I don’t think I’ll ever eat it again!”

“You’re so dramatic, Raph,” Donnie says, crossing his arms. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“You don’t get to talk, Mr.Grape-Juice-Is-Better-Than-Cranberry-Juice,” Raph spits.

“Not again,” Casey moans from the couch as Leo rolls his eyes.

“Seriously, Raph? You’re bringing that up right now?” 

Raph turns towards Leo. “Yes! I’m right and you all know it!”

Mikey elbows him, grinning at the sudden change of energy in the room. Now this is much better! “Sure, brah. Whatever you say.”

Raph scoffs but doesn’t say anything in return, and suddenly the energy is back to what it was before. Dang it, Mikey spoke too soon.

“So… that’s it?” Leo unceremoniously asks. Mikey understands what he means. 

“Think so.” Mikey shrugs. “I mean, that’s most of it at least. If I think of more I’ll… try and mention it.”

It’s a loose promise. He’s unsure he’ll keep it. Still, it seems to please his brothers.

“That’s all we ask,” Donnie says with a small smile.

“And with that,” April interjects, “I vote our next action be… a group hug!” she calls, launching herself off the couch and at Mikey.

Mikey laughs as she crashes into his shell — which could not be comfortable for her — and wraps her arms around him. He grins as Raph grumbles but obliges with an equally strong and heartfelt hug, Donnie following and latching on as well. Leo leans forward and places their foreheads together, just like Sensei would when they were little.

Mikey feels right at home… except for…

He gently peeks up from the hug pile to look at Casey. The boy has his head ducked, like he’s trying to not watch the group hug in action.

Mikey has mixed feelings about Jones. This deal stressed him out to high heaven and he definitely shouldn’t have pushed Mikey to talk but… he was right about one thing. He does feel better after talking, especially with this hug. 

Also, Casey Jones is family. Family joins the group hug whether they like it or not.

“You coming or what, dude?” Mikey calls, smirking at Casey’s surprised look.

He’s telepathically sending the message of “I don’t forgive you” and Casey seems to get the memo. He shrugs it off and gets up from the couch, stretching. Casey’s probably thinking “I’m not sorry”. Whatever, they’ll both work it out.

“If you say so,” Casey says, before flopping on top of the entire pile.

Everyone screams a bit and laughs as they all topple towards Mikey’s right. The group hug has officially turned into a turtle pile! Yes! Mikey’s missed this!

“If everyone doesn’t get off me right now I swear to—“

Mikey cackles as everyone scrambles off Raph, who looks at Casey with a murderous look. 

“You’re dead, Jones,” Raph hisses. 

It’s a standoff. Casey doesn’t move from his spot on the floor where he’s knelt. Raph doesn’t move from his spot on the floor where he’s knelt. There will be a chase. Mikey’s eager to see who wins and—

“Ack— Leo!” Raph yells as Leo tugs his mask’s raggedy tails towards the couch he’s currently leaning on.

“Movie marathon,” Leo demands in his leader voice. “Leaders orders,” he teases as Raph smacks his hands away from his tattered tails.

Mikey grins, scrambling over to claim his spot between Raph and Leo. “Ooo! Ooo! Can we watch Crognard: The Movie?!” He curls perfectly into Leo’s side.

Raph places his elbow on Mikey’s shoulder. “No way am I staying for that boring, lame, stupid—“

“Isn’t your favorite movie The Tooth Fairy with Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Raph?” Donnie interjects, already somehow flipping through the CD’s available. “And didn’t you dress up as a tooth fairy princess for Halloween?”

Raph sputters as Casey laughs, flopping onto his back as tears stream down his face.

“What?!” April cries, smiling from ear to ear.

“I thought we agreed to never bring that up again!” Raph shouts, waving a hand and voice cracking. He’s genuinely embarrassed.

Leo cackles with Mikey, both shaking on the floor.

Donnie shrugs innocently. “Just saying,” he replies smugly. “I don’t think you can talk.” He holds up the CD to Crognard: The Movie and winks at Mikey, who begins to laugh all over again.

Raph grumbles and slides his head halfway into his shell while leaning against the couch. His elbow has moved away from its resting place on Mikey’s shoulder to lay across Raph’s plastron as he, once again, crosses his arms.

“Oh,” Casey wheezes. “That’s priceless!”

“Like you can talk,” April fires, climbing onto the couch behind Leo and laying across it. She uses a pillow to prop her head up. “Halloween, three years ago.”

Casey sits up, still grinning wildly. “Hey, I was a great Elsa, ok?! Not my fault my sister couldn’t find her Anna,” he replies defensively. 

He too stands and plops onto the couch. He sits criss cross applesauce on it, like a heathen, and places April’s legs in his lap. 

“That’s actually kind of sweet,” Leo comments as Donnie crawls back over to sit next to him, remote in hand.

“I need to hear your rendition of Let It Go, dude,” Mikey giggles from Leo’s lap.

“Oh, please, shell no,” Donnie groans, turning on the TV.

“What? Can’t handle these vocals, Donnie Dee?” Casey questions, poking the back of Donnie’s head playfully.

“Yes, actually. I have a feeling we would all go deaf, which would make us horrible ninjas,” Donnie drawls sarcastically as he presses play for the movie.

“I don’t know,” Mikey cuts in before Casey can respond. “Isn’t our quietness muscle memory at this point?”

“Huh,” Raph mutters from Mikey’s right. “That sounds right.”

“I mean… we could test it later. I’m sure there’s ear plugs or headphones somewhere to render us ‘deaf’, in a sense,” Donnie murmurs thoughtfully, always eager for an experiment.

“Then we know what we can do after the movie, which has started if nobody has noticed,” Leo says, shifting his leg a bit to get it more comfortable.

“He means it’s time to shut up,” April uselessly clarifies. It makes Mikey giggle.

Leo doesn’t refute her statement.

Everyone starts to quiet down for the movie, even if it isn’t their favorite. Mikey smiles as the scenes start to fly by.

Head on Leo’s plastron, Raph somewhat cuddled up on his right, April gently playing with his small mask tails while Donnie leans on Leo’s left, Casey right behind Donnie’s shell… Mikey likes this position.

There’s probably more hurdles to go through. Maybe there’s even more things to mention, like getting electrocuted. Still… despite everything, he likes where he has ended up.

Mikey sighs and lets himself fully relax for one of the first times in a long while. He drinks his family's presence like he’s been deprived of it his whole life. Sure, not everyone is here, but he has faith they’ll be complete soon.

But first, they need to heal.

As Crognard continues and Mikey feels his eyes start to shut against his will, he thinks they’ll all heal just fine — even him.

They’re together, after all. And when they’re together? Well, that just means Mikey is never alone. 

Chapter Text

It’s been two weeks. From an outsider’s point of view, maybe nothing has changed. But April knows better.

“I’m telling you guys, me and Raph spotted some hay bales not too far from the house! Perfect training area,” Casey Jones muses, walking backwards and yet still leading the group. His hands are behind his neck, as if he’s holding his own head up.

Leo’s come a long way healing wise. Raph finally was given permission to begin training with Leo from Donnie. Maybe his leg tends to ache sooner than what Mr.Perfect himself would want – and he seems to be a bit rusty in training – but he’s also improving quickly. 

It was a pretty cool feeling, taking him down. Just because she knew she had the upper hand didn't diminish the feeling of her win. It only happened once and she’s never done it before! The next day, he took her down with ease. She was disappointed but had also expected it. Leo has a thing for being the best.

“And what are we going to do when we get there?” Leo asks from April’s side. She chose to walk with him in the back because of his leg. 

“That’s what I’m wondering,” Donnie mutters from slightly ahead. “It’s just some hay bales!”

Donnie’s changed in the last two weeks, too. He tends to work at the dining room table more often than not and, when he’s in the barn, he always leaves his door open. He’s even gotten better at remembering to take breaks from working!

“Just some hay bales?” Mikey knocks his shoulder against Raph’s, who sends Mikey a heatless glare. “Did I hear that right?”

“Yes, Mikey!” Raph responds, voice forcefully light. “You did hear that right.” He pushes Mikey away and the orange turtle gasps dramatically before poking Donnie’s shoulder.

“They’re not just some hay bales!”

Mikey’s had the most notable changes, April thinks. He’s… more serious, in certain ways. He helps Donnie with Kraang technology and talks about certain Kraang stuff with Leo, which is surprising. Mikey? Helping Leo plan? Unheard of! But sometimes, late at night when April grabs a glass of water, they’re up on the couch talking – planning.

That’s new, too. The turtles’ new sleeping schedule that seems to run on its own clock – more accurately: Mikey’s clock. When Mikey told them all he couldn’t sleep, he meant it. All the guys sleep in Leo’s room now, hoping to help the youngest (?) get some sleep. It doesn’t always work, though. Occasionally, when Mikey’s awake, a brother or two will join him. Random naps around the house are common now.

“Mikey, you haven’t even seen them yet. Me and Jones, here, were the ones to find them,” Raph tells Mikey matter of factly before Donnie can properly respond. 

“Still going to be fun to train with, bro!” Mikey retorts, stretching his arms. “They’ll be so cool to flip off of!”

“Dude!” Casey exclaims, pointing at Mikey. He almost trips because he is still walking backwards, the dork, but he steadies himself and begins to walk forwards. “That’s exactly what I was thinking!” he calls from over his shoulder.

April smiles at his antics. Casey’s been working on getting back on Mikey’s good side. From what she’s heard, neither of them apologized. Well, Mikey apologized for his attitude and Casey apologized for how he handled things, but neither apologized for the outcome. Casey shouldn’t have pushed. However, it did get Mikey to talk in the end. He wasn’t sorry for that and, for whatever reason, Mikey understood.

Basically, their relationship was built on rocky understanding. She thinks they’ll be fine in the end, though. They’re already arguing over who will be able to do the best backflip off a hay bale.

“And here I thought they said we would be training,” Leo mutters to her. He sounds disappointed and it contradicts the smirk on his face. 

“Hopping up hay bales takes practice, Leo,” April replies, giggling. 

She knows. When she was little, she’d come out to this field and try to climb them. It isn’t as easy as it looks.

Leo rolls his eyes but continues forward with an eager pace.

April thinks maybe she has changed too. She’s not sure in what way, yet. It could be the thought that runs through her mind daily – the one that tells her to remember this moment because who knows if they’ll all be here tomorrow. To most, it’d be a concerning thought. To April?

A pretty wildflower catches her eye. She bends down and stares at the small purple and yellow flower, all alone in the high grass. She smiles at it before turning and jogging to catch up with the group.

The thought is a beautiful reminder to take joy in the small things. 

Donnie is now beside Leo, casting her a worried look as she catches up. “You ok?”

April nods, pulling on her ponytail to tighten it. “I’m fine. Just saw a flower.”

The two boys glance at each other before shrugging. April chuckles to herself and speeds up her pace. Soon enough, she’s right next to Mikey, who beams at her.

“This is going to be so fun,” he tells her, eyes wandering to every side of them. He’s looking for  danger, she knows. 

“It is! But, I was wondering something,” she says, looking away from Mikey and towards the fence just now coming into view.

“Hm? Wassup?” Mikey asks.

April looks back at him. “Do you think you could teach me to flip? I’m not too good at it.”

It’s a partial lie. She knows how to flip. It’s part of her kunoichi training. Mikey needs something to focus on that isn’t their surroundings, though. Teaching someone how to flip may help that. 

Plus, who better to learn flips from than the flip master himself?

“Of course I can, brah!” Mikey chirps, beginning to skip alongside her from excitement as hay bales come into view. “You’ll be as good as me in no time,” he tells her confidently, eyes twinkling.

Casey and Raph hop over the fence easily, Mikey running forward and following them with a loud “Whoop!”. Donnie helps Leo and April hop over like a gentleman, and then they all stare out at the field in front of them.

It’s huge. Hay bales cover the horizon, big and small. The sun and the fluffy white clouds overhead make the scene look picturesque. The farm house these bales belong to isn’t even in sight, which is perfect. It means they won’t be seen either.

“So… awesome or what?” Casey asks, a smug grin on his face.

“I call that one!” Mikey shouts, pointing towards the closest hay bale before running over. 

Raph, who takes up every challenge without having been told to do so, decides to fight him for it. “Wha- hey! Mikey! I wanted that one!”

April laughs as the two turtles race for the hay bale, Casey soon joining in on their race. Mikey tries to hop up the bale and gets three-fourths of the way up before sliding back down on his plastron, causing Raph and Casey to pause their own pursuit to point and laugh at the fallen orange turtle. 

“Children,” Leo mutters, smiling and shaking his head fondly.

“Like you aren’t,” Donnie huffs, tugging on Leo’s mask tails. Leo squawks and, in return, slaps Donnie’s shoulder. Like the mature person he is, Donnie blows a raspberry and runs towards the hay bale Mikey finally was able to conquer.

“Now who’s laughing, Raph!” Mikey taunts from the top, holding an L to his forehead.

The mentioned turtle growls and tries to jump on the hay bale. He fails spectacularly, probably not for the first time if a Casey Jones kneeling on the ground and cackling with tears rolling down his face is anything to go by.

“Donnie- get back here!” Leo calls, breaking into a light jog after Donnie.

April grins, content watching them all fight over a hay bale. Boys!

Donnie hops up the hay bale and joins Mikey, first try. He laughs as Leo reaches the base of the hay bale, not even trying to jump up it. He knows his limits with his leg. Donnie stares down at his oldest brother triumphantly. However, Mikey is nothing but the youngest child.

“Hey! This is my safe-haven, dude! Find your own!” Mikey starts trying to push Donnie off, but Donnie sets his stance and pushes back.

“You’re going to knock me off, Mikey!” Donnie snaps, no real heat in his voice. Mikey responds by licking his arm, sending a shrieking Donnie off the bale and onto his shell. 

Leo decides this is a great moment to sit on top of Donnie, effectively trapping him. He smirks down at the trapped turtle evilly. April laughs and begins to walk over. By the time she gets over, Mikey has been dethroned by the one and only Casey Jones.

“King of the hill! King of the hill! King of the hill!” Casey chants, dancing on top of the hay. He grins down at Raph and a glaring Mikey. “Losers!” He laughs manically.

“Talk about a power trip,” she tells Donnie, who is struggling to push Leo off. Leo snorts at her remark.

“Who? Me or him?” Leo asks, pointing to Casey. 

“Why is he doing the sprinkler?” Aprils wonders aloud, ignoring Leo’s first question. She means both of them.

Raph and Mikey then loudly clasp hands – an alliance just formed. April, Leo, and Donnie watch curiously as the two turtles begin to push against the bale of hay. Slowly, it begins to move. April covers her mouth, trying not to laugh. She won’t let herself… not yet, anyway.

“Woah– what are you doing?!” Casey questions from above the hay bale.

Raph and Mikey exchange a glance. “Dethroning you,” they say in sync, wearing matching grins.

Casey laughs, unaware of the danger he’s in. “You gotta warn me before it starts moving so I can show off my rad hay bale riding skills!”

“Oh, I’ve got to see this.” Donnie finally pushes Leo off him and stands up, pushing Leo back down as he tries to get up as revenge.

Leo grumbles but doesn’t have any time to get Donnie back as the hay bale starts moving faster. April absentmindedly helps Leo up, holding her breath. This is hilarious! Casey’s starting to struggle to stay on the hay, if the flicker of concern in his eyes is anything to go by.

And then she notices the hill.

“Casey,” she warns, eyes growing wide as Raph and Mikey give the hay bale another push. It’s all it needs.

The hay bale goes rolling down the hill, taking Casey with it. He screams before falling to the side, the hay bale running him over. The bale of hay keeps going. The rest of them freeze.

“Ugh,” Casey groans. “Landing? Horrible. Hay bale? Surprisingly soft. Hotel? Trivago.”

That makes all of them laugh. April bends over, clutching her stomach. Once she’s calm enough, she jogs over to Casey, who’s still on the ground. His messy appearance makes her wheeze all over again.

“Y-you got something… right-t there!” she cackles, pointing to his hair that is now covered in hay. 

He grabs her wrist and pulls her closer, grabbing a handful of hay from the ground and throwing it over her head. “Thanks, Red. Now we match!”

“Wha– ugh! Casey!” April whines, pulling her wrist away from the boy on the ground and trying to fix her hair. That makes all the boys begin to laugh again. 

It’s sort of funny, but also not. Hay takes forever to get out of her hair!

A splash from up ahead makes them all pause. Slowly, April takes her hands down from her hair and stares in the direction the hay bale went. To rub her defeat in her face, a piece of hay sticks to her bangs and blocks her view before she blows it out the way.

“Was… was that a splash?” Donnie questions from somewhere behind her. It seems to spur everyone into motion.

Mikey races past, grinning and carefree. “Let’s go find out!!”

“Mikey!” Raph calls, running past April as well. “Wait up!” Mikey pauses, obviously confused. Raph then passes him and smirks. “Race ya!”

“No fair!” Mikey yells over Raph’s maniacal laughter. 

Of course they’re racing. Everything’s a fight between them two–

“Ack– Casey!” April shouts as hay falls on her hair and over her vision. The culprit laughs and takes off sprinting. April grins. Oh, is this how it’s gonna be? “Get back here!”

She laughs as she takes off. She chases Casey as fast as she can, which is faster than Casey expected. April bends down and snags some hay from the trail the hay bale left and, as soon as she’s close enough, shoves it all in Casey’s hair. They almost fall. Casey has to stop and right himself but April just keeps going.

When she started chasing Casey, she also joined the race. 

Abruptly, Mikey and Raph stop. Despite herself, she runs directly into Raph. They both stopped near the edge of the field but she wasn’t able to stop herself. The collision sends Raph tumbling forward. Luckily, Mikey was quick enough to grab her and prevent her from meeting the same fate. 

“Really, April?” Raph deadpans as he stands up and brushes himself off. 

April huffs out a laugh. “Sorry, Raph.”

Suddenly, Casey Jones has an arm over April’s and Mikey’s shoulders. He runs into them with such force they almost meet the same fate Raph did. It makes Mikey laugh, April roll her eyes, and Raph smirk. 

“Karma,” he mouths to April. April rolls her eyes once again for good measure.

“Miss me?” Casey asks, shaking his head full of hay. It gets all over Mikey and April.

“No.” April pushes him off and onto Mikey, causing the orange turtle to laugh even harder as Raph snorts at April’s coldness.

“Do you guys even see what’s down there?” Mikey asks when he catches his breath. He also shrugs Casey off playfully. “Because your reactions are telling me you’re not seeing what I’m seeing, dudes.”

“What are you seeing?” Leo asks. He and Donnie finally made it down the hill.

“A–”

“A river,” Donnie whispers in awe.

“Aw, I was gonna say it,” Mikey pouts before perking up again. “Dee, Dee, Dee! Do you think it's safe to swim?”

“Definitely warm enough,” Raph muses, wiping some sweat from his brow.

“Well, it doesn’t look stagnant,” Donnie thinks aloud as he trudges closer to the trees that were covering his view of the river. Subconsciously, the group follows him. “It looks surprisingly clear, too. The current isn’t going very fast… I wouldn’t jump in it, however, since we don’t know how deep it is, but–”

“So it's safe?!” Mikey asks, grabbing Donnie by the shoulders. 

Donnie shrugs. “I’d need a way to actually test the water before I clear it–”

A splash breaks through his sentence. The group startles forward and peers into the river from the small ledge they were on, holding onto the trees to look down into the water.

“Wha– Casey?!” Donnie yells, his hands flying to his head in worry.

Casey Jones grins up toothily. “Feels fine to me, Dee.”

Before Donnie can retort, Raph jumps into the river as well. “Cannonball!”

April chuckles at Donnie who let out a distressed squeak as Raph passed by. Leo gently pats Donnie’s shoulder before following after the red clad turtle.

“Leo too?!” Donnie whines, looking at April for reassurance. 

She shakes her head. “I’m not going in,” she tells Donnie. “I don’t have a swim suit.”

“Lame!” Raph yells up in response as Donnie sighs in relief.

“When these guys get sick, we’ll be the ones taking care of them.”

Mikey stares at her, giving her puppy eyes. Uh oh. “But April!” Mikey pleads, gently grabbing her arm and tugging her over to the ledge. “This is a perfect ledge for me to teach you how to flip off!”

April blinks and then peers down to the water. He’s right… and she did ask for lessons… She looks back to Donnie and then back to Mikey. “Is it even deep enough?”

Leo chooses that moment to surface from the water below. “You’ll be perfectly fine, April,” he reassures her. “It’s at least fifteen feet.”

Donnie looks distressed by everyone going against him but… April’s going to have to leave his side too. She sends him a sheepish smile as she takes her headband off and puts it on a rock. She takes off her socks and shoes before letting her ponytail down.

“Sorry, Donnie,” she tells him, and it’s partly true. He looks comically betrayed by her decision.

Mikey takes her hand and pulls her to the very edge. “Do a dive but… curl more inwards,” he instructs.

He’s so lucky April has done a flip at least twice in her life thanks to her kunoichi training. Apparently, being a flip master does not equate to being a flip master teacher. Oh well. 

April takes one step back and inhales. She’s got this. She prepares to go and–

“Wait!” Mikey shouts. “You’ve gotta shout a catchphrase!”

Raph and Casey both groan from the water while Leo sighs. April blinks at Mikey. “Like what?”

Mikey shrugs. “No clue. It makes flipping more fun though, trust me.” 

There’s something in his eyes telling her there’s something more to that sentence. Like there was a time where he could flip all day long but could only be quiet for fear of being caught. It reminds her that these two weeks have been a blessing. It’s been so peaceful and full of healing and love and – you get the picture.

She straightens. April doesn’t really have a catchphrase. “And I can’t use yours?”

Mikey shakes his head and crosses his arms. “No way, dude. It’s gotta be something unique to you,” he replies, poking her forehead. 

April hums and gently swats Mikey’s hand away. Something unique to her, huh? She smiles at Mikey. “I got it.”

Mikey beams and backs away. Behind her, she can hear Donnie muttering about how “no one listens to him” and that “this is such a bad idea”. It's funny and also heartwarming how concerned he is for his family.

She takes a deep breath once again and prepares herself to jump. She grins, runs forward, and leaps.

“April O’Neil!”

She hits the water at a weird angle. Not quite completely on her back, but not in a pencil dive either. It doesn’t hurt but it does shoot water up her nose and down her throat. She surfaces laughing and choking, basking in the cheers of her weird little family.

“That was awesome!” she says, looking up at Mikey. Mikey grins down at her.

“My turn!” he yells. “Cowabunga!”

April shrieks as Mikey lands in the river, splashing everyone. They all laugh and splash him back as he surfaces, spouting water through his beak like a water fountain.

“Oh Donnie!” Casey coos, cupping his mouth with one hand. “You’re the last one not in here!”

“Yeah, c’mon, Donnie!” Raph yells from where he is currently trying to drown Mikey.

Donnie looks over the ledge. “That water could have brain-eating amoebas,” Donnie says matter of factly, but it doesn’t look like he believes himself.

Maybe he’s just upset they didn’t heed his warnings.

“We’ve been through worse,” Leo answers nonchalantly. He’s floating on his belly and looking very turtle-y. It makes April giggle.

“Dee!” Mikey finally calls, pushing Raph’s head below the water. “You told us the water isn’t stagnant, is pretty clear, and we already tested how deep it is. It’s safe,” he reasons, before gurgling water as Raph pulls him underwater.

April blinks at the ripples where Mikey just was. She looks at Donnie. With what she knows about water safety, he’s right. “He’s got you there, Donnie. The current isn’t even strong! Just come in already, won’t you?”

And she can see the moment where Donnie caves. Casey cheers from the rock he somehow managed to climb up on and Leo straightens himself to prepare for the incoming jump. Raph and Mikey surface, still fighting and trying to drown each other.

“If we all become zombies due to some brain-eating parasite I blame you all!” Donnie yells, backing up to prepare for his jump.

“We’ve been slaves to – ack, Raph! – our own fear thanks to mushrooms,” Mikey gasps, splashing Raph to get the red turtle to back up and stop drowning him. “Can’t get weirder than that, bro – agh!”

Raph grins from where he holds Mikey underwater, bubbles floating up to the surface. April knows the boys can hold their breath for way longer than a human can. Mikey’ll be fine!

Hopefully.

“Mikey’s right! Again… weirdly enough,” Raph muses. There’s a muffled scream of “Hey!” from under the water that makes April laugh.

“Let him up, Raph,” Leo orders, but he’s also laughing. Raph begrudgingly does as told, only to get dragged under by Mikey.

“Fine,” Donnie groans. “I’ll trust Mikey.”

April smiles and swims back as Donnie jumps off the ledge, diving straight into the water. Leo, Casey, and herself all clap as he surfaces. That was a good dive!

He glares at everyone before getting splashed in the face by Raph. That makes everyone laugh as Donnie scowls and charges the red clad turtle. Soon enough, it’s not Mikey and Raph fighting but Raph and Donnie. April laughs and swims over to join Casey on his rock. He pulls her up easily.

“Ugh, I hate swimming in denim,” she complains, poking her wet pants. It makes Casey snort.

“Same. I should’ve took’em off.”

April sends a look to Leo at that. “Boys,” she mouths, and that makes him laugh.

Mikey swims over and splashes Leo. It wipes the grin off his face faster than April expected. They have a stare off where Mikey gets more and more nervous every second. And then… Leo shrugs.

“You asked for it.”

April cackles as Mikey shrieks, swimming away from Leo as fast as he can. Casey thinks that he’s slick enough to be able to use his laughter as an excuse to lean an arm on her shoulder, but she knows better. She’s not dumb to the two boys fighting over her affections. April grins evilly and shoves him off his own rock, laughing at his shocked face when he resurfaces.

And then she’s being pulled off the rock by her leg, too.

Needless to say, the river turns into a warzone. Everyone backstabs everyone, no one wins. It’s the most fun April’s had in a long time.

Who cares if these past two months – or more for Mikey – have changed them? They’re still themselves.

Raph’s still a lovable jerk. Donnie’s still a caring know-it-all. Leo’s still a funny yet fearless leader. Casey’s still a dork. April’s still… well, April. Mikey’s still the wild jack-of-all-trades. But, now, they’re also a bit more than that. And that’s ok.

They go home dripping wet and tired. Raph and Donnie both help Leo back to the house, scolding him lightly for overdoing it. Leo doesn’t seem to regret the day he had, though. Mikey yawns every other minute, lightly bumping into Casey everytime he sways. April feels the same. She’s exhausted. She’s skipping a shower tonight, as gross as that is.

Everyone except Casey and herself crashes immediately on the couch when they return. The humans both rush upstairs and hurriedly change into their pajamas. Only then do they climb back downstairs, yawning and rubbing their eyes in hopes to stay awake one more minute.

The scene they happen upon is precious. April has to hold back a coo.

All four turtles lay on the rug in front of the couch. Almost all of them are on their plastrons, Mikey and Raph in the middle with Leo – on his back, bad leg raised on a pillow – on Raph’s left side and Donnie on Mikey’s right. There’s a blanket miraculously covering all of them. They’re an entanglement of limbs, as Raph’s arm lays across Mikey’s shell and Leo’s other leg lays over both of Raph’s. Donnie has Mikey’s hands in his face, but that doesn’t seem to bother the purple turtle as he sleepily mumbles and cuddles into his little brother’s hands.

Carefully, Casey and April choose their spots. Casey curls into a fetal position next to Donnie, his back towards the purple turtle and arms wrapped around a pillow he claimed from the couch. April huffs and throws a small blanket at him, which causes Casey to throw a thankful thumbs up in her direction. She smiles and inclines her head.

April herself is above the floor. She wants to steal the couch and not have a backache tomorrow. But just as she gets settled on the couch, a stray blanket and leftover pillow and all, she catches sight of the turtle pile again. She frowns.

Huffing, she pushes herself up from the couch grumpily. Maybe a backache would be worth it. Maybe a backache is worth them.

She settles down next to Leo, curled away from him. She guesses she mirrors Casey on the other side of the pile. April tries to get comfortable to no avail, so she turns towards Leo. Like this, she can see all her sleeping friends perfectly. 

Even Casey has conked out, if the second whistley breath in the room is to go by. She smiles and pulls her blanket up her shoulder.

Remember this , she tells herself. They’re all here. You’re here.

With those last thoughts, she allows her eyes to finally slip closed. Today was a great day. She wonders what tomorrow will bring. April can’t wait to see.

Hopefully, everyday forward ends as beautifully as this one.