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Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of You Do NOT Only Get One Shot At Life!
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Published:
2023-04-21
Updated:
2024-01-16
Words:
50,452
Chapters:
57/?
Comments:
163
Kudos:
400
Bookmarks:
53
Hits:
9,648

You Do NOT Only Get One Shot at Life

Summary:

The reader (that's you!) is a random civilian in the world of My Hero Academia. You're getting a bit fed up with hero society as a whole, given the number of times heroes have destroyed your shit. What happens when you meet some funny little guys with a penchant for violent murder? Read to find out! Or like, skim. Slow burn romance (UPDATE: It is currently happening in the story), soundtrack picks every chapter, + eventual canon divergence (UPDATE: this is also happening in the story).

Chapter 1: Prologue: Bastardization Arc Speedrun

Notes:

Story starts at the same point MHA starts (Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods vs. petty criminal), but is focused on a random civilian (You! The reader!). Reader’s quirk is called “Respawn,” a description of the quirk is at the end of the chapter.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You’re not overly sure where to go. It’s not like there’s insurance for a giant woman falling through your apartment complex. Your car may have been salvageable, if you had gotten Kamui Woods-related damage insurance rather than All Might-damage related insurance. The two newest, flashiest heroes; what a team up! Maybe it was to cheer you up, seeing as you’re walking home from a job termination meeting! How thoughtful of them.

As you stare dejectedly at the branch-pierced remains of your car, which sits atop the rubble of your apartment, you hear cheering. Why is the crowd cheering? These two fuckheads just leveled a city block for some D-rank villain with a 3D printed glock, how is that impressive?

“Fuck this,” you grumble, kicking a jagged piece of cement. Your foot bends completely in half, which is impressive for someone without a flexibility quirk. The noise you make in response is equally impressive, rivaling the blond, America-kabure DJ hero you’ve been seeing all over the news lately. How does DJing and teaching English count as hero work, exactly?

Cursing under your breath, you limp down the street. Maybe you can sleep in the internet cafe. At least you can get yourself a treat, they have an excellent self-service ice cream bar and you deserve something sweet after today. You drop your stuff in one of the cubicles and hustle over to the ice cream as fast as your probably-broken foot lets you.

There are no spoons. Your eyes narrow as you stare down the empty container. That does it, that was the final straw. You leave the cafe, not bothering with your bag, and walk straight into traffic.
…
“Are you done yet?” the receptionist asks you, bored.

You stand in the entryway to the internet cafe, preparing to dart outside for the fourth time. Your clothes are tattered, but your body is fine. Better than fine, even, since your foot is completely healed. “Nah.”

“If I refill the spoons, will you stop? You’re upsetting the other customers.”

They don’t seem to care much about that, but you know their pay can be docked for bad reviews. You may be upset, but you’re not upset enough to screw over a minimum wage employee. Nodding your assent, you follow them to the pastel-decorated counter where the ice cream is. You scoop yourself a large helping while they pour shitty plastic spoons into the container, returning to your cubicle immediately after grabbing one.

Looking at the All Might comic-style poster on the side of your cubicle, you grimace. Not once today have heroes aided you. Thinking about it, not once in your life have heroes benefited you in any way. You’ve had three cars, a tank of goldfish, and two apartments reduced to rubble, casualties in their fight for “justice.” Your advanced education was comically underfunded because all school funding was going to building some kind of plate tectonic bullshit under UA. Realistically, without heroes, you would be better off.

The world would be better off.

Notes:

Respawn is a quirk which causes the user to appear in the spot they were one minute ago immediately upon dying, with all physical injuries healed. Little is known about the scope of this quirk, but it probably does not apply to terminal illness or age.

Song: Loser. by McCafferty