Incorrect quotes for The Art Of Burning

Notes:

Inspired by The Art of Burning by hella1975

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Tomkin and Nanook

Chapter Text

Tomkin: Can I ask you for a favor?
Nanook: I would literally die for you, but continue.
Tomkin: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.

Chapter 2: Kanut, Zuko, Tomkin and bread

Notes:

Chapter Text

Kanut: WHO ATE MY BREAD?!
Kanut: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-
Zuko: I did?
Kanut: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Zuko.
Kanut: *walks away*
Zuko:
Zuko: His gone Tomkin.
Tomkin, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in his mouth: Twankh uh!

Chapter 3: Aput and Chena vs fence

Notes:

Chapter Text

*Aput and Chena looking at a locked gate into a park*
Aput: Aw. :(
Chena: You know what they say.
Aput: Please don’t-
Chena: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*
Aput: Frick-

Chapter 4: Don't give Tomkin tape

Notes:

Chapter Text

Tomkin: Hello friends!
The Squad:
Tomkin: You might be wondering why I’m taped to the ceiling

Chapter 5: Tomkin is a cinnamon roll

Notes:

Chapter Text

Tomkin: Assert your dominance over your friends by kicking them in the face, and then giving them a little smooch on the forehead!

Chapter 6: Kanut and Zuko

Notes:

Chapter Text

Kanut: Do you have a self-care routine?
Zuko: "Keep going bitch" said to myself in different accents.

Chapter 7: Kanut and Zuko pt.2

Notes:

Chapter Text

Kanut: *raises eyebrows*
Zuko: Put those back down!

Chapter 8: Zuko loves his uncle

Notes:

Chapter Text

Zuko: I love you.
Kanut, not paying attention: What was that?
Zuko: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

Chapter 9: Tomkin would though

Chapter Text

Nanook: Tomkin has discovered "deez nuts" jokes and it's all he says now. Everything is deez nuts. He simply can't stop.
Nanook: I asked Tomkin where he learned that joke. He made me promise he wouldn't get in trouble if he told me. I agreed.
Nanook: So he leaned in and whispered, "deez nuts."

Chapter 10: What did you expect Kanut?

Notes:

Chapter Text

Kanut: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?
Tomkin: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

Notes:

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Comments

hella1975 on Chapter 1 Mon 03 Jul 2023 02:38AM UTC

this is such a funny concept i love these so much, thank you bestie xx

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1. Oilbirrks on Chapter 1 Mon 03 Jul 2023 05:36AM UTC
  
  Omg thank you so much! You have no idea how happy it makes you commented xx
  
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Odinokaya_Teftelka_Cheng on Chapter 2 Thu 18 Apr 2024 02:34PM UTC

Зуко: той самий найкращий друг, якого твоя мама любить більше, ніж тебе

Last Edited Thu 18 Apr 2024 02:34PM UTC

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Rainingsand on Chapter 6 Wed 11 Oct 2023 11:59PM UTC

LMAOOOOO

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Don'tAsk (Guest) on Chapter 10 Tue 29 Aug 2023 03:27AM UTC

Zuko: Hi, I'm Zuko, and only you can prevent forest fires... seriously, it has to be you. I'm sure as hell not gonna do it.
Your cool here one I have enjoy

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LukasPrinceOfChaos on Chapter 10 Mon 12 Feb 2024 08:51AM UTC

I didn't come here to nearly due laughing. But that's where I ended up.
Bonus kudos +1 per chapter
Also, a silly gift because I can't stop thinking in incorrect quotes now

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Kanut: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Zuko: ...I did. I broke it.
Kanut: No. No you didn't. Chena?
Chena: Don't look at me. Look at Tomkin.
Tomkin: What?! I didn't break it.
Chena: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Tomkin: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Chena: Suspicious.
Tomkin: No, it's not!
Hakoda: If it matters, probably not, but Bato was the last one to use it.
Bato: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Hakoda: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Bato: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, 'koda!
Zuko: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Kanut.
Kanut: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Hakoda: Kanut... Chena's been awfully quiet.
Chena: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Kanut, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Kanut: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Kanut:
Kanut: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.*
Kanut: Zuko is restricted to decaf for the rest of this adventure.
Tomkin: I wouldn’t last two minutes without Nanook.
Tomkin:
Tomkin: Don’t tell him I said that.

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