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English
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Published:
2023-07-21
Completed:
2023-08-30
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27,507
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16/16
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To Walk Where the Light Shines

Chapter 12

Notes:

I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
This fic should either be 15 or 16 chapters total, and I'll cry and eat a shoe if it goes over 20.
(If it actually reaches 20+ chapters, I will eat a gummy shoe or something at most.)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Another day of school passes uneventfully, and Mafuyu is stuck at a crossroads. 

She has cram school today.

Mafuyu isn’t sure if she wants to go, but it’s the first time since she ran away started staying at Kanade’s that Mafuyu has considered the possibility of going. 

She only attended cram school because her mom said that it was necessary in order for her to become a doctor. But if Mafuyu wants to become a nurse, and not a doctor, then… 

What should I do?  

There are advantages and disadvantages of going to cram school. 

She would still be following what her mom wanted her to do. She would have to spend more time and effort on her studies. She would bear the brunt of higher and more expectations. 

On the other hand, Mafuyu would learn more than she did from only attending Miyamasuzaka Girls Academy.

Is this what I want?

Mafuyu wants to find herself, to make music with Niigo, and to become a nurse.

Becoming a nurse would require her to go to a nursing university and pass a licensing exam. While it’s a less strenuous path than becoming a doctor, it is not easy.

Cram school would increase her knowledge, which could then be used to better help people.

Is that worth it? 

Her memory of the little girl flashes before her mind. If not for cram school, she wouldn’t have been able to help her so effectively. 

To see more smiling faces like those, would Mafuyu endure cram school?

But isn’t trying to make other people smile the reason why she lost sight of herself? 

What is the difference between wanting her mom to smile and wanting the little girl to smile? 

Thinking about her mom, Mafuyu’s chest feels cold. But thinking about the little girl makes her chest feel warm.

It doesn’t make any sense. None of it makes sense. 

Wasn’t she still doing something for someone else?

Mafuyu doesn’t understand, but she still needs to make a decision. 

Was there a right decision to make? 

In the end, Mafuyu supposes that it wouldn't hurt to go to cram school today. 

She'll need to let Kanade know. 

Stopping by Kanade’s house, Mafuyu opens the door to find Kanade sitting at the dining table.

Kanade looks up as Mafuyu enters the house and says in a soft voice, “Welcome home.”

“I’m h-” Mafuyu stops to correct herself, “...I wanted to let you know I’ll be going to cram school today. I won’t be back until later.”

Kanade stares at her for several moments and then smiles, “If that’s what Mafuyu decided, then I’ll support you.” 

“I’ll come back as soon as I can,” Mafuyu replies.

Kanade’s expression changes into the one that always gives Mafuyu warm feelings.

“I’ll be waiting for you.” 

–

Cram school is more rigorous than Miyamasuzaka.

Amidst the sounds of pencils scratching on paper, Mafuyu knows everyone else is striving for something. Chasing after a dream or goal. They had to be – otherwise why subject themselves to such an oppressive atmosphere? 

The teacher drones on. 

This place still gives rise to an uncomfortable feeling within Mafuyu. 

It’s tolerable though, if she reminds herself that Kanade is waiting for her. That she will eventually return to Kanade and they will cook together, make music together, and simply exist together.  

–

“Asahina,” her teacher stops her from leaving.

“Yes, teacher?” Mafuyu dutifully replies. 

“Your mother has contacted us several times this week about your progress,” the teacher states.

Mafuyu tenses, “A-ah, is my work lacking? If so, I will put in more eff–”

“That’s not it,” the teacher frowns, “Have you been overworked? I understand you are studying to become a doctor.”

But that’s not… 

“Actually um… about that,” Mafuyu speaks up, “I’ve been thinking… about becoming a nurse instead.” 

The teacher is visibly taken aback and taps his fingers on the desk before responding, “Hm. I heard that originally you enrolled to prepare for medical school. Are you sure about this?” 

Mafuyu wants to be a nurse, but… it would be going against everyone’s expectations of her. 

But Ena’s irritated face comes to mind – You can just say that you don’t like it!  

“I’m… sure,” Mafuyu answers, “I think being a doctor is a wonderful profession, but I think I would like to be a nurse instead.”

“Hmm. Someone as bright as you would definitely make a good doctor,” the teacher sighs.

“But –”

“However, if being a nurse is what you want, then that’s your decision,” the teacher says, making eye contact with Mafuyu.

“T-thank you,” Mafuyu says. 

“Now run along, if you want to be a nurse you still have to work hard!” the teacher chuckles. 

Mafuyu nods respectfully and leaves the classroom, heart racing. 

She said what she wanted to someone. And they didn’t stop her.

Her teacher was disappointed, but relented in the end. To her.

It feels easier to breathe. 

–

After Kanade greets her with a ‘welcome home’, Mafuyu thinks that her day to day life doesn’t feel as constricting. 

Even though she is doing all the same things as before, between maintaining her grades, fulfilling her club responsibilities, attending cram school, and studying – it doesn’t weigh her down as much. 

Mizuki must’ve been right. That Mafuyu was exhausted from enduring every day in the presence of her mom. That she needed to find a place where she could rest.

Kanade’s place is restful.

“I’m home,” Mafuyu says.

“How was cram school?” Kanade asks quietly. 

“I…fought back today,” Mafuyu informs Kanade.

Kanade smiles, “I’m glad.” 

Kanade doesn’t ask her any further questions, which Mafuyu is grateful for. 

It’s easy to be with Kanade. Mafuyu doesn’t have to explain herself or watch how she behaves around Kanade.  

But Mafuyu thinks that she might talk to Kaito later about it though. He might have more advice, and she didn’t want to burden Kanade further.  

And knowing Kanade, she probably hasn’t eaten much today. 

“Let’s make dinner together,” Mafuyu prompts, a warm feeling rising in her.  

As they continue working on Mafuyu’s latest song together, Kanade hopes that Mafuyu feels welcome in her home. 

Kanade isn’t the best at taking care of people, but she has tried her best to support Mafuyu. 

Mafuyu does seem like she is more at ease these days, even after running away from her mother.

Kanade has kept a watchful eye on Mafuyu, and she thinks that Mafuyu has been slowly picking up the lost pieces of herself. 

Kanade thinks it would be great if Mafuyu could stay with her forever. 

Maybe Kanade had gotten too used to her dad being in the hospital, that she had forgotten what it was like to actually live with someone. How warm it was to fall asleep and wake up under the same roof as someone. How nice it was to tell someone ‘welcome home’. How even though she nor Mafuyu were particularly talkative, it was still reassuring to have the other’s presence nearby. 

Mafuyu makes her house feel like a home. 

"I want to go to the SEKAI," Mafuyu states.

"Ah, I still need to record my singing part. You can take my phone and go ahead," Kanade gestures to her desk. 

"Okay, I'll be back soon."

"Oh, there's no password on my phone–”

Something clatters onto the floor behind her. Alarmed, Kanade turns around to see Mafuyu shaking and breathing heavily.

"Mafuyu! What's wrong–"

Her phone screen shines back at her. 

[User#3289]: I know Mafuyu is with you. It’s time for her to come home.

Notes:

Sorry, not sorry. I was definitely pulling my punches to just let loose on this chapter. :)
Beta #1 is glaring at me as I type.

Beta #1 also gave me a really high quality egg to eat so I cooked with it. But I save the best for last and she's nagging me to eat it now. You guys can't hear it but she's saying "Eat it now! Eat it now! Eat it now!" in the background.
I'm only halfway done with my meal. Food is meant to be savored.