Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

SECRET'S OUT

Alvin's POV

It all began like just another ordinary day. I had suffered through all my classes, as usual, I had totally crushed everyone in dodgeball, and I was just about to score myself a date with Sheridan! She was everything I love in a woman. Pretty, talented, popular, amazing smile, great personality.

I'd been hoping to ask her out for a while. I even asked Brittany for advice on what to say to her. Which, if I recall, had gone something like….this.

"Ya gotta help me, Britt. I love her! I need to be with her." I was on my knees in the middle of the hallway near Brittany's locker, begging my little heart out.

"You'll never get her. She's completely out of your league." Brittany stated, as she took out a spiral bound notebook and shoved it into her backpack.

I leaned against the locker and crossed one foot in front of the other, trying to look like the amazingly cool guy I was. "What are you talking about? I'm like the most popular guy in school! Any girl would be thrilled to go out with me!"

"You have mid tier popularity at best." Brittany said, rolling her eyes and slamming her locker door shut. "There are different levels to this stuff. Sure, you're popular, but you're not going to be homecoming king material or anything." She flipped her ponytail as I followed her through the hall.

Different levels of popularity? That was new information that I didn't realize before. I suppose it did make sense. Still, I wasn't going to ADMIT it made sense. "I could so be homecoming king! I could be prom king too! My coolness knows no bounds!"

She sat down on the steps at the school entrance and unzipped her backpack again, pulling out the school yearbook. Her sister Jeanette was on the yearbook committee and that's why she had a test copy already before the end of the year…I think. I'll be honest, I don't really pay attention to stuff like that.

The beautiful girl in pink opened the yearbook and showed me my picture. I looked GOOD! My hair was perfect! My smile was incredible! I was holding my coveted Most Improved Award that I had won by getting my grades up.

Now, before you go accusing me of being a nerd or anything, I ONLY tried for the Most Improved Award because it was a surefire way to get my picture in the yearbook after being absent on picture day. Because, like, come on! My face deserves to be looked at for years to come!

"Look at this!" Brittany pointed a manicured fingernail at my picture.

I chuckled. "I look at it all the time, Britt. I'm practically the most attractive guy in the world, after all."

She groaned loudly. I didn't know why. "Urgh. You are so full of yourself." She muttered. "No, you dimwitted bozo. This is your ONLY picture in the whole yearbook. You won Most Improved. That's it. You didn't even win any of the superlatives."

I blinked. "Superla…whats?"

She flipped through the pages of the book. "Superlatives, Alvin. You know, like Best Smile, Most Athletic, Coolest Hair, Cutest Couple…"

"Ohhhh yeah. So your point is?" I blinked again, barely processing her words because I was too busy thinking about the potential of a date with Sheridan.

"My point is, IF you were "the most popular" kid in school…you'd have won more than just the "I raised my grade point average" award." Brittany finished with a huff.

"So what you're saying is…that Sheridan and I should try and win cutest couple next year?" I asked excitedly.

Brittany's mouth gaped open like a fish. I knew I had said something stupid and completely misunderstood her, but I couldn't understand why or how. Which meant, I couldn't figure out how to come to whatever conclusion she was pushing me toward. I just needed her to say it outright. Enough of these mind games!

But, Brittany being Brittany wanted to continue to play the guessing game. "You know what? Do whatever you want, Alvin. I'm done trying to help you."

"You haven't helped me at all!" I shouted. Then, I ran off to join my brothers as we waited for Dave.

"Hi, Alvin." Theodore greeted me. "How did your day go?"

I ignored most of his question and jumped right in to what I wanted to ask. "It was fine. I'm finally gonna ask Sheridan out. What should I say to her?"

Simon smirked. "How about "Hello, Sherri. Would you be interested in dating a one foot tall chipmunk who causes trouble wherever he goes?" He joked.

"Ha ha." I laughed sarcastically. "Hurry up and give me an idea! My phone is running out of battery!" I had the text chat open. The little box I was meant to fill with words was blank. Usually I don't overthink things, I just impulsively jump in. But would that work for this?

"How about just "will you go out with me?" Theo suggested. "Or how about "I really like you. Wanna catch a movie?"

"Oh! Those are both brilliant, Theo!" I raised an eyebrow. "Where'd you come up with that?"

He shrugged. "I watch romance shows on TV sometimes."

I started to type the second thing Theo said into the text box, but my phone screen suddenly went dark. Battery dead. Dreams shattered. I wanted to scream.

"Oooh tough break." Simon remarked. "But don't worry, you can still text her when we get home after your phone is charged."

"Nohoho!" I moaned. "I have to do it now! I won't have time at home after Dave lectures me!"

Simon pushed up his dorky round blue glasses that made him look like a smurf. "Lectures you? What did you do this time?"

"Oh nothing." I put my dead phone in my pocket and my hands behind my back. "Just that I'm….flunking math again."

"Aw man, Alvin." Theo sighed. "Already?"

"You just won an AWARD for getting your grades up to almost all As." Simon reminded me, as if I didn't already know AND feel guilty about it. "That was less than 2 months ago! And now you're FLUNKING!? AGAIN!?"

I tried to play the situation off as a joke, hoping to break the tension. "You know me. Ol unreliable." I shrugged. "Besides, I already met my goal of winnin' the award, so…eh who needs good grades anyway?"

Simon shook his head, fed up with my antics. "Maybe you don't need As or Bs, but you need to at least pass."

I looked behind me at the school. Maybe I could run inside there and talk to Sheridan real quick before Dave got here.

"Yeah, Alvin. Cuz…now everyone knows how smart you can be if you put effort into it." Theo pointed out.

Urgh! Yes, it was true, if I put in "effort" I could be another average run of the mill student. BORING! Besides, my study system annoyed everyone, I gave up literally all my free time, and putting in effort was just SO MUCH WORK! It wasn't a good system in the long run, so it's back to shooting for a bunch of Ds and Cs!

In fact, I'm pretty sure anything I learned during my brief time as Most Improved Student was no longer even in my head. Especially all that math. That was gone like an extinct animal. Math and science are two of my worst subjects. I'm not that great at history or literature either, but science and math just NEVER stick and I don't know why. Not that I'd ever want them to stick or anything. That would cause a whole bunch of problems.

"I know, I know, but that was ONLY to win the award." I reminded them. "It's not something I can just keep up forever. I'll burn my brain out. I only have so much brain juice and once it's gone…then I need to recharge it." I looked at the doors of the school again. Now was my chance! "Anyway, I gotta go! If Dave gets here before I'm back, stall him!" I requested before beginning to run.

"How are we supposed to do that?" Simon asked, clenching his jaw.

"You'll figure something out. You've got this!" I shouted as I got further and further away from my brothers.

"Alvinnn!" I heard Simon holler very faintly as I ran up the steps of the school and burst through the doors.

I had no clue where Sheridan could be at first. I thought about it a bit and suddenly I remembered she was on Britt's cheer squad. Or at least, she hung out with Britt's cheer squad even if she wasn't officially part of the team.

I hurried out to the field where the squad usually held their practices. Sneaking up behind the bleachers, I could see all the gorgeous girls shaking their pom poms. It was GOLD! I had the best view in the house. Naturally, I wanted a closer look.

I could have stayed where I was. Sometimes I wonder what my life would have looked like if I hadn't made the choice I did. The choice I made would function like the first domino in a chain reaction that sent my life tumbling out of control and pushed me onto a path that no one expected.

Not aware of the sheer horror that awaited me, I scampered closer. I got close enough that I could hear the girls (and the couple guy cheerleaders that were also there) talking.

And that's when I heard it. Sheridan's beautiful voice talking to Brittany….about me. "So he still wants to ask me out?"

"I'm afraid so." Brittany replied. "I tried to talk him out of it, but it's like talking to a wall. You'll let him down gently, won't you? He doesn't take rejection well." Aww it was sweet of her to care about my feelings. Wait!? Rejection!? Sheridan didn't want me? Why wouldn't she want me? What had I ever done to make her hate me so much?

"I'll do my best." The beautiful brunette girl said softly.

Then, those evil witches Amber and Annie had to pipe up. I dunno why Britt hangs out with them. They're terrible people.

"Alvin's such a loser." Annie commented. Well, I thought she was a loser too, so we're even.

"I don't know why you're friends with him." Amber added. "He's so weird and creepy and annoying." I wanted to attack her for those comments, but I knew I had to stay hidden.

Brittany faced the two catty girls. "Who I'm friends with or not friends with is none of your business. I care about Alvin, a lot. None of you know him like I know him." Oof. I don't think she knew me as well as she thought either, but it was nice to see her stand up for me.

Annie dropped her pom poms and ran a comb through her blonde hair. I sensed practice was wrapping up. "You care about him? Awww that's sweet." She said in a teasing tone. "Is that why you keep paying people to pretend he's popular?"

"Shhhh!" Brittany put a finger to her lips. "I told you never to tell anyone that!"

I felt dizzy suddenly. My vision blurred. Paying people to PRETEND I was popular? That had to be some kind of joke. I had to have heard her wrong or something!

"Chill out, Brittany." Another random girl who I didn't know said. "It's fine. Everyone here knows."

"I think it's sweet honestly." Sheridan commented. "And not sweet in a fake way like Annie thinks." She shot an annoyed glance at the girl with the blonde bob cut.

"Wait." One of the boys said. "You pay people to pretend Alvin's popular? That's not good. You're basically lying to the guy."

I covered my ears and sat in the grass. This was not happening. This could not be happening. I had to be asleep! Yes! This was an on brand nightmare for me!

"I HAVE to." Brittany said, loud enough that I could hear her even with my ears covered. "If this got out, it would destroy Alvin as we know him!"

Yeah. She was right about that. I felt completely destroyed. I felt like someone had crushed me into a tiny little ball and then kicked me to Mars.

"Fine." Annie sassed. "But you're only making this worse for him. The sooner he finds out his real status, the better."

"Uh huh! Cuz he's, like, not super popular, not even mid tier popular. He's only slightly above Kevin and Cheeseball and those other geeks." Amber, without realizing it, practically drove a stake through my heart.

They grouped me with KEVIN!? AND CHEESY!? I mean, sure, I did hang out with them a lot but there's no way we had close to the same social status….right? RIGHT!?

"I don't feel comfortable discussing this any more." Brittany hissed at her friends or ex-friends or whatever.

I decided it was time to reveal myself. Maybe if they knew they hurt me, they'd apologize and let me be in their popular club again.

I stepped out onto the field where they could see me. "Imagine how I feel." I said bitterly.

There was a big awkward silence and Brittany was the one to break it. "Alvin, what….what are you doing here?"

"I came to ask Sheridan out." I mumbled in a small voice. "But….well….yeah."

Brittany nibbled her pink lip. "It's not what it looks like!" She blurted out.

Suddenly, all my sadness turned to boiling anger. "You PAID them to pretend I'm popular!? You PAID THEM!?" I screamed.

"I only did it to protect you!" Brittany yelled back, I could tell she was panicking.

"I'M NOT POPULAR!" I wailed. "I'M A PHONEY! I'M A FAKE! IT'S ALL FAKE!"

"Alvin, wait…" Brittany reached out to me. "It doesn't have to be. I can teach you how to be popular for real. I'm sorry I did this, but at the time it was the only way I could think of."

I looked down at the ground. "How long?" I asked. "How long have you been paying them?"

"A year or two." She admitted.

I scowled and glared right into her icey blue eyes. "If you have to pay them, then I don't even wanna BE popular." WHAT THE? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM!? Never in my life did I expect to say THAT! But it was true. Who wants fake popularity they didn't earn? I needed to re-evaluate my entire life. But first….I needed to go home, where no one else can see me, and bawl my munkin' eyes out.

"What? Alvin, you don't mean that!" Brittany gasped.

"Yes I do." I turned around and ran from the field, trying in vain to stop the tears from starting to pool in my eyeballs.

I made it back to Simon and Theodore and a very annoyed Dave….who quickly became less annoyed when he noticed I was having a complete breakdown. I wasn't very good at hiding it.

"Aw man. She said no, didn't she?" Theodore patted my back.

"W….W….Worse." I blubbered.

"She said "never ever in a million years even if you were the last man on earth?" Asked Simon.

Of course they thought that Sheridan was the reason I was crying. They didn't know how hard my world had been rocked. I wasn't in the mood to tell them either.

"I don't want to talk about it." I buckled myself into the carseat.

Dave looked sympathetic. "There are plenty of other girls, Alvin."

"It's not about a girl!" I shouted, annoyed.

Theodore's brown eyes blinked at me. "Then what's it about?"

One car ride home later, I had successfully and PAINFULLY explained everything. Dave had said it was okay to go upstairs and "process things", so I took the opportunity to try and play a videogame.

The videogame only made me more frustrated. I didn't have my usual confidence. It was dead. Learning what Brittany did had ripped it to shreds. I felt like I was missing something else too.

GASP! My ego! I didn't even feel like I HAD one anymore. I expected that familiar flutter in my chest that always told me I'd bounce back because of how awesome I am. It wasn't there. I didn't FEEL awesome. Maybe I wasn't actually awesome. This was so much worse than that time I thought I lost my mojo.

I was nothing! A screw up! A flop! A fake! A poser! A total loser! I hugged myself, feeling the comfort of my favorite slightly ripped red hoodie. This was the worst day of my life. I had never felt lower than this before. I didn't know how to handle it.

I threw myself on the bed quite dramatically and sobbed into my pillow. "I'm never going back to that school!"

Simon climbed up and sat on the bed, rubbing my back gently before I pushed his hand away. "Aren't you overreacting a little? It was going to happen eventually."

"Yeah." Theodore added, climbing up on the bed to join us. "What did you expect? Britt couldn't keep paying them in secret forever."

Hold up. All I had told them was that I found out I wasn't popular. No mention of how Britt factored into it. Which meant only one thing. "YOU KNEW!?" I flipped myself over and stood up, narrowing my eyes at my baby bro. Then, I glared at Simon. "What about you?"

Simon put his hands behind his back. "Brittany made me swear not to tell."

"And Eleanor?" I asked, between choked up sobs.

Theodore nodded sadly. "She helped Britt rig the Cutest Chipmunk contest votes." He squeaked.

No no no! I couldn't take any more painful secrets revealed! "THAT WAS FAKE TOO!?" I scowled as the pieces of the situation began fitting together. "Of course it was! Because I'm stupid! Because sensitive little Alvin can't handle a smidge of rejection! Because I need to be coddled like a wimpy, spineless DORK!" I ranted.

Simon gestured to me with his arm. "You CAN'T handle rejection. This right here proves it."

I turned away from my brother in blue. "I don't WANT your PITY!" I spat. "I WANT my popularity back."

"Alvin, can you listen to me for one second?" Simon grabbed my arm.

I turned to face him again, and then quietly asked. "D…Did Jeanette know?"

Theodore handed me a tissue to blow my nose in. "Unfortunately yes."

"Yeah." A flicker of sadness crossed Simon's usually stoic face.

The last shred of control holding back my tears finally broke. I started crying like a river. "What am I supposed to do now, Si?" I hoped that my genius brother had the answers. "That was, that was my whole identity! And now….now I have NOTHING!"

To my surprise, Simon just handed me a tissue as Theo had done previously. "I don't know, Alvin. That's something you have to decide for yourself."

"We'll be with you every step of the way." Theodore added as he hugged me.

I blew my nose into a tissue. "Might as well be a nerd or something." I moped.

Simon's fur began to bristle. "I wouldn't recommend it." He said, with a hint of annoyance. Why the annoyance? Was he mad? I'd be encroaching on his territory. Not that I was serious about the nerd thing. I don't even know why I mentioned it. I guess because in my mind the only thing opposite popularity was….nerd.

Theodore patted my head. "You'll figure it out eventually. This isn't the end of everything. You'll see." His words of encouragement did nothing to stop the growing feelings of disgust.

I grabbed Simon by his shirt collar. "You gotta help me! Make a potion or a spray to give me back my irresistible charm! I want people to love me again!" I begged.

Simon shook his head. Oh well. I knew it was a long shot anyway. "People who don't like you for who you are aren't worth your time. Also, are you sure you ever had these quote "irresistible charms?" I hate when he does air quotes.

"I must have!" I exclaimed, even though I was having doubts. "Girls used to really love me! The Cutest Chipmunk contest ruined EVERYTHING."

My middle brother hopped off the bed and back to his own. "That's surprising." He said with his customary biting sarcasm. "Who would have thought dressing up as your brothers to humiliate them wouldn't make girls fall head over heels for you?" He paused, giving me time to think about his statement.

"I dunno, who?" I wasn't really considering it that hard. I just needed the answer.

"EVERYONE WITH A BRAIN!" He shouted at me angrily.

"You did tell people I was a baby who needed his wub wub." Theodore added, going back to his own bed. "And I still don't know what a wub wub is."

"Face it, Alvin. After the stunts you pulled to try and make us lose, this is a pretty fitting comeuppance." Simon laid down and leaned an elbow on his pillow.

Theodore picked up Talking Teddy and sat on his bed with the creepy robotic bear. "It's never too late to show everyone you've learned from your mistakes." He reminded me.

Urgh! Learning. Hadn't I been learning enough lately? Wait, does it still count as learning if you don't remember what you learned?

I just sighed, hoping that I could close my eyes and wake up and suddenly have my precious social status restored.

And then in came Brittany through the open window via the zipline that connected our houses. Boy, was she upset. "I was trying to help you! You ruined everything! Why were you spying on us!?"

"I dunno." I wished I had a better comeback than that. I wasn't in the mood to argue with Britt. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. "I can't think clearly. My entire life is falling apart."

Brittany held up her hand and flapped it around, mocking me. "Excuses excuses. Don't you ever get tired of making excuses, Alvin? Look, it's not too late for you to turn things around." She told me. "I'll give you a crash course in what's trendy, how to hold back your stupid ideas, and how not to creep girls out."

Simon groaned and jumped out of bed to confront Brittany. "He doesn't need lessons from you."

"Since you can't think clearly." Brittany droned on, ignoring Simon. "I'll do the thinking for both of us. I'll make our lives PERFECT again. I promise." She sounded both nice and mean at the same time…and also slightly deranged. Was she losing it as much as I was?

"Britt, go away." I moaned.

"You wanna be popular? You gotta start acting like it. Be less annoying. Nobody wants to hear you complain all the time. Also, start being suave again. You've become too needy and desperate lately. It's not a good color on you." The girl in pink continued to monologue basically.

I was really mad now. "I'VE BEEN THE SAME AS ALWAYS!" I insisted. "Haven't I?" I tried to think of the last time I had been suave. Nothing came to mind, but I did have a killer headache from all the crying.

Britt shook her pointer finger in my face. "No. You haven't. You've been like a clingy and pathetic little thing. But, I forgive you. Now, let's get to work."

Simon pulled Brittany away from the bed. "You aren't taking him anywhere."

"He needs time to rest and recover!" Theo chimed in. Always looking out for my needs. Best bro ever.

"Not if he wants Mr. Popular back he doesn't." Brittany snapped. "Come along, Alvie." She motioned for me to follow her. I chose not to. "Alvie?" She asked again, softer and less angry this time.

I put my hands on my hips. "No, Britt. I'm gonna stay right here."

She looked sad. "Okay….well….if you need me, you know where to find me." She walked toward the window. "Goodnight, Alvin."

"Goodnight, Britt." It wasn't exactly nighttime yet, but knew I wouldn't be seeing her the rest of the day. I know she's only trying to help, but the wounds were fresh and I was super impressionable. The last thing I needed was to become putty in Britt's hands. No siree. That would be awful!

Chapter Text

A BREAK WON'T HURT

Alvin's POV

I managed to suffer through dinner and then returned to my room to continue thinking about, well, everything. Dave told me that I'm not allowed to miss school this time, because he doesn't want a repeat of that time I got glasses. He thinks the exposure therapy would be good for me.

Speaking of the glasses, those do still come in handy for reading. Truthfully, I barely wear them, even for reading, especially not in public. In my own house I feel safer putting them on. I just don't like how they look on me or how everyone comments on them.

I paced around the room, wondering where I should go from here. I did still have my rockstar gig outside school. That was good…at least. Wait, what if my fans actually only liked Simon and Theo and not me? No, wait, there was no way Britt could have paid all my loyal fans. There was just too many. Phew! I still had my career to look forward to.

Ow! I stubbed my toe on my desk in the room. I noticed a stack of papers and books on it. Homework that I hadn't done. Plus, some homework that I tried to do, got confused by, and then gave up on. It was my pattern. Gosh how I wished I could understand this stuff better and not have to struggle through it so much.

I sat down at the desk and looked at the math worksheet. If I wasn't popular anymore, then I could be literally anything else. I could start devoting more time to studying if I wasn't obligated to go hang out with the popular crowd. I got a little sad at the thought of less parties to attend. I was gonna miss that.

Still, if I could get myself back up to Bs and high Cs, Dave would punish me less. There would be no hiding report cards from him. There would be no constant lies, no excuses, no Simon teasing me and saying I'm stupid.

If I played my cards right, I could have time with my REAL friends, time to study, and time to rock and roll. My life could still be fun! All I had to do was adjust to my new status. I smiled a little. Sure, being an improved student was no piece of cake, but I knew I had it in me. I'd done it before, I could do it again. And I would start by re-learning everything I forgot. Or at least….most of it.

"How are you doing, Alvin?" Theodore's voice startled me and I looked at my watch. I'd been staring at these math problems for 3 hours and I'd only done 10 of 50. Off to a great start. (Sarcasm)

"Better." I mumbled. "I think."

Simon joined Theodore in staring at me. "Are you actually doing your homework?"

"Y…Yeah." I could feel my face getting hot. "My math grade isn't just gonna magically raise itself."

"What happened to "who needs good grades anyway?" Simon asked with a slight chuckle.

I had said that, hadn't I? Man, I gotta stop blurting out whatever pops into my head. "I decided that since I'm not a cool kid anymore, I might as well be a smart-ish kid. But not too smart, ya know….cuz I don't wanna be a nerd like you."

"I don't think that'll be an issue." My middle bro commented dryly. "There isn't a nerd gene in your body."

"Right. So, anyway, looks like Most Improved Alvin is here to stay after all." I stood on my desk chair and took a bow. "You may applaud now."

Theodore clapped for me. "Yay for good decisions!"

"I see that ego of yours is on the mend already." Simon commented with a half smile.

Did I feel my ego again? Oddly, no. I had absolutely no feeling of awesomeness or success. I didn't even know if my plan to stay most improved would work. I actually didn't have much faith in it working either.

But as they say, fake it til ya make it. So I pretended my ego had returned to its usual intensity. "Yep. Haha. Can't knock me down." I was still very much crushed inside, but I didn't want to let it show. This was my plan for school tomorrow as well. Let my phoney confidence shine and pretend like losing my popularity didn't hurt at all. Haha! What could go wrong? Right! (I know very well what could go wrong, but I'm blocking it out by thinking about the math problems.)

Tomorrow, I would hopefully get to talk to Jeanette and Eleanor and get their sides of the story. I'd have to smooth things over with Britt too. I'm sure she'd like my decision to continue doing well in school. She has to, right? I mean, she's a goody two shoes principal's pet. I'm gonna be fine….I hope.

The day after the shocking curveball that sent my happiness sinkin' in a tar pit, I returned to school. I wasn't there out of my own free will. Dave and my brothers had just decided it was best for me to face whatever happened head on. They didn't seem to realize how hurt and betrayed I felt by a large portion of students…or how confused I was about Brittany.

As I entered the hallway, I expected all eyes to turn on me. I expected jokes and remarks about my fall down the ladder of popularity. I expected people to ask me tons of questions about my future. I didn't know what my future would look like. I had plans and now those plans seemed less likely to actually happen.

To my surprise, no one reacted to me. I walked through the entire hall like I was invisible. No one batted an eye. They ignored me whether by accident or on purpose. A feeling of dread washed over me. Was this what school would be like from now on? Did they really go from pretending to like me to….pretending I didn't exist?

So, being the absolute dunderhead I was back then, I decided I needed to grab their attention. I took my basketball out of my locker and spun it around on my finger. "Hey, uh, any of you guys interested in shootin' hoops with me after school?" I asked.

"Sorry." Tommy told me, crossing his arms over his plaid unbuttoned shirt. "We're busy."

"Busy with what?" I questioned.

The group of kids didn't answer. They just huddled and whispered and then walked away.

"Jenny? Tracy? Jesse? Anyone?" I showed off the basketball and dribbled it down the hall.

"Sorry, Alvin." Jesse walked to her class without giving me more than a 2 second look.

Tracy rolled her eyes. "I'm not really into basketball anymore." That was a lie! She was even still on the basketball team!

I mustered up my best smolder face and smiled at Jenny. Unfortunately, she was too busy looking at Simon…who uncomfortably averted her loving gaze.

"Okay,…" I decided to follow Tracy. "How about we play something other than basketball?" I suggested. "I know tennis! Do you like tennis? How about baseball? Squash? Lacrosse? Ping pong? Good ol' American Football?"

"Urgh!" She groaned, sounding weirdly like Brittany. "Take the hint, chatterbox. Leave me alone."

I felt my shoulders slump as I walked to my locker and pressed my head gently into the locker door in defeat.

"What's wrong, Alvin?" Jeanette's kind, soft, and melodious voice asked me.

I lifted my head. "I'm not popular anymore. Nobody wants to hang out with me."

"I'll hang out with you." She offered.

I sighed internally. I didn't wanna hang out with her to play sports. She wasn't very good. She didn't play many videogames either. Pretty much every single one was too violent for her. We had like nothing in common. I was a washed up former big man on campus and she was this tree hugging and animal loving sweetheart.

"Cool." I muttered, sounding about as enthusiastic as I felt. Which, was not enthusiastic at all.

"I wish I knew how to cheer you up." The girl in the purple hoodie continued.

I frowned harder. "You and me both."

I closed my locker and began the trek to Miss. Smith's class. When I arrived, I took my seat and slumped down in it.

Eleanor, Britt's youngest sister, poked me with a pencil to get my attention. "I heard you found out Theo was the real winner of the Cutest Chipmunk contest. Tough break."

"Yeah." I responded, getting out my math book and going back to trying to finish the last problems on my worksheet before the bell rang.

"I mean, are you surprised? Theo practically has The Cute One written on his forehead." The girl in the mint colored striped shirt added. She was trying to prompt more of a reaction from me. She could keep tryin. I wasn't in the mood.

So it had been Theo who won the contest before the Chipettes rigged the votes. Of course. At least it wasn't Simon. I would feel about ten times worse if my geeky bro had bested me in the adorable looks department. Sure, nerds can be cute, but only in a "I'm sorry you look like that and I take pity on you" sorta way.

I had almost reached the end of my math worksheet. "Hey, Simon, can I have help on question 47?"

"Not now, Alvin. I could have helped you last night." He said, organizing his pencil case while he talked.

"But I'm so close. Come on, help your new and improved brother out!" I whined in a way more childlike than I wanted to.

He groaned. "You and the word no aren't friends, are you?"

"I can help you, Alvin." Jeanette volunteered.

Her older sister immediately snapped at her. "Don't fall for it, Jeanette. He'll just con you into doing it for him."

"Britt, you underestimate him." She whispered.

Simon shook his head. "No, she doesn't."

"Why do you care about it anyway, Alvin?" The strawberry blonde Chipette sassed. "You won the award. You said everything would go back to normal after that."

I didn't love being put on the spot, especially right then and there. "I….changed my mind."

"And we all support him." Theodore's high voice joined the conversation. "Right?"

Brittany didn't look supportive. She looked scared. "Yeah." She said in a way that sounded…flat.

Nevermind. I had no time to worry about that. I filled in random numbers for the answers to the last three math questions. It was dumb, but I needed that assignment finished somehow. And getting 3 wrong wouldn't knock the score down too much…I don't think.

Lunchtime came and I had no idea where to sit. When I went to my usual table, everyone turned up their noses at me. I went to the next table of slightly less cool kids, but nobody noticed me. I decided to sit with Eleanor and the soccer team. At least they were, like,…a little bit welcoming.

"Heeey, look who it is." Eleanor waved at me. "Finally decided to pay us a visit?"

I chuckled nervously and took a seat. "I've been plannin' on eatin' with ya for months. I just never had the time." I bit into my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Well, we're glad to have you." Another soccer player, that I didn't know well, added. It was nice to have someone who didn't treat me like a social…piranha…papaya? Some word that starts with P. I remember it vaguely from a TV show.

I ate with them almost the whole lunch period until a certain diva Chipette arrived to question me. Nice to know I could always count on Britt to be a real pain in the tail.

"Can I talk with him for a moment?" The strawberry blonde girl requested.

"Sure. Have at it." Eleanor told her oldest sister.

I gulped. I knew if Britt wanted to talk to me alone, she likely planned on yelling at me for some random thing I had forgotten I did.

Britt yanked me into a corner of the cafeteria. "What are you doing?"

"Be more specific." I told her, hoping that this wouldn't end with her playing mind games and then running away, frustrated that I couldn't understand what she WASN'T telling me.

She scoffed. "You know what I mean."

I felt an angry outburst coming on and shoved it deep into my core. "No. I don't know what you mean. I never know what you mean." I said. "Bottom line, assume I know NOTHING."

"You acted like a total teacher's pet in class today." She said. "Like, WORSE than when you were trying to win the award. It was sickening."

What? No I didn't….Wait, did I? I didn't really remember. I was just focused on keeping to myself until I could make it to lunch. Plus, it was hard to stay focused. "I did?"

"Has Simon brainwashed you or something?" She put her hands on my shoulders.

"N…No." I stammered. "Not that I know of." Wait, maybe he was brainwashing me! Without my knowledge! I would have to really try and beef up my self awareness.

"Then what is going on!? Why have you given up on getting back with the cool crowd already?" She wiped away a stray tear. She doesn't cry much, at least…not real tears and not in front of other people. I could tell I hurt her. I wasn't trying to hurt her.

"I'm just tryin' to make the best of a bad situation." I squeaked. "That's all."

She slapped her own forehead. "By turning into a nerd!?"

"Whoah! Whoah! Whoah! Hold up! I am NOT a nerd!" I insisted. "Not all good students are nerds."

"No, of course not." Brittany explained. "But not all good students go "uh, err, Miss. Smith? You forgot to collect our math homework." She put on a weirdly low voice and mocked me.

"Hey, I worked my tail off on that math homework." I replied. "I wanna see how many answers I got right so I know what I still have to study."

"There you go again. You're talking like Simon." She shivered. "Exactly like Simon. It's freaky."

"I'm no…" I trailed off. I WAS talking like Simon. Britt was right. I was talking like a stereotypical nerd. But talking like one once in a while definitely didn't mean I WAS one.

"It's like…you've lost your ego!" Tell me something I don't know, Britt. "You haven't bragged at all today…about anything."

"Gee." I muttered sarcastically. "I wonder how that could have happened."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay?" Brittany balled her fists together. "I shouldn't have paid people to pretend you were more popular than you actually are. It was dishonest and Jeanette and Eleanor have both been chewing me out about it for AGES."

"I accept your apology." I said taking one of her hands. "But as much as I really want my status restored, I can't jump back into it right now. I can't. I'm too afraid of getting rejected AGAIN. So just…give me some time. Okay? I'll ask for your help when I'm ready for it."

She frowned and glanced at her shoes before glancing back up at me. "Okay." She agreed. "What are you gonna do in the meantime? Just….study?"

"Lots of things." I told her with an encouraging smile to hide my inner turmoil. "I'm gonna test my limits. Touch the sky! Try some new stuff! See where it takes me!" Yep. All that to try and avoid thinking about how unpopular I'd been for so long…without realizing it.

"Alright alright." That made her look less worried. "But don't wait too long, okay? Because the longer you wait, the tougher it is to bounce back."

"Ohoho!" I let that phony confidence bubble up. I needed to keep up appearances. "You know me. Bouncing back is my specialty!"

She giggled, sounding relieved. "There he is. There's the Alvin I know. I knew he was hiding in there somewhere."

And that's when the bell rang, dismissing us from lunch. I went back to class and made a very very conscious effort to NOT act like a nerdy kid. It lasted through the rest of my classes and I was feeling pretty proud of myself by the end of the day.

"Are you feeling any better?" Theodore asked as the 6 of us walked home together.

"Tons better." I lied. I still wasn't feeling totally like myself.

"Good job getting your homework done. I knew you could do it." Simon added, slinging his dinosaur patterned backpack onto his back.

I decided to come clean. "Actually I just fudged the last answers. But I tried on the rest of it!"

"Well…" Simon was unsure what to say to my dumb decision. "It's a start."

"So, uh, Alvin, now that the truth's out…" Eleanor's big green eyes stared at me. "Don't you think you owe someone an apology?"

"Huh? Who?" I asked. More mind games. What is it with the Chipettes and mind games? At least Jeanette is always straightforward. No guessing games.

"Simon and Theodore." The pigtailed girl replied. "Because you took over the school announcements and mocked them."

"Oh…right." I felt a lot of guilt all pile on me suddenly.

"Yeah!" Brittany imitated me. "You were like "Hi, I'm Theodore. Where's my wub wub? I want my wub wub!"

Eleanor predictably joined in. "And also "Hi, (snort) I'm Simon! (Snort) I like to think and do science cuz I'm BORING!"

"That's enough, girls." Simon stated calmly. "I think he gets the picture."

"I….I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I just wanted to prove you were less cool than I was, so I'd win." I confessed. "But I did hurt you and it was horrible and I take full responsibility for that. I didn't deserve to win."

"We forgive you, Alvin." Theo squeaked.

Simon nodded in agreement.

"I think it's safe to say you've learned your lesson." Jeanette piped up.

"Yeah! When I'm mocking my brothers, only do it in private and don't broadcast it everywhere." I smiled confidently, thinking that was the true lesson. Which, I mean, it kinda was. Theo and Si mock me in private too.

Simon rolled his eyes. "Close enough." He muttered.

We continued to walk home and eventually split up to head to our separate houses. The girls went to the treehouse and my bros and I went to our human sized house with the chipmunk size doggy door.

Upon entering the house, I decided to sit down and watch some TV to relieve the day's stress. Sadly, when I turned on the TV I was greeted with one of those super tropey episodes of some teen drama. A popular girl was trying to make an unpopular guy look cooler with a total makeover. Without a doubt, that's the plan Britt had for me. She'd probably make me wear pink too. Gross!

I changed the channel. Talking Teddy TV Fun Time was on. Ew, no, that's Theo's stupid baby show. CLICK! I switched channels again. A dad yelling at his kids. Click again, now it was a mom and dad both yelling at their kid. I cycled to a new channel. Wouldn't ya know it? A mom nagging her son to do his homework. There was absolutely nothing worth my time on TV today.

So I turned the TV off, and picked something else to do. I grabbed my skateboard and headed for the door, only to be stopped by Dave.

"How was school today?" My dad asked.

I REALLY didn't want to tell him anything. "It was….fine."

"Just fine?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yep." I fibbed. "Better than I thought, actually."

"Well that's good." He opened the door for me. "Remember to be home before dark and wear your helmet." He handed me my black helmet with red spikes on top of it.

"Sure thing, Dave." I zoomed out the front door and hopped onto the board. "Ohoho! Skatepark here I come!" I announced to….myself. I don't think anyone else heard me.

Yeah, this less popularity thing was gonna take some getting used to. The other people at the skatepark looked at me now and then, but nobody tried to interact. Nobody knew what to make of me. I sensed rumors about me had already spread around town. Luckily, I knew my management team wouldn't allow these rumors to reach outside the town. They'd come up with a story, some excuse, some coverup. Whatever they said, I'm sure it could hold up until I was ready to dive back into my old life. This was only a small break, yeah. A time for me to experiment….no uhhh….not that word….attempt, yeah, attempt some new hobbies. A time to reflect, because I hadn't taken much time to reflect before. I was always running, racing, fighting to stay ahead. It made me tired. It wore me down.

This was…peaceful. It was different in both bad ways and good ways. But, like Britt said, it won't be for long. It can't be for long. So, I was going to make the most of it, while it lasted. Someday, I would surely be ready to try try again, at least, I thought so.

Chapter Text

THE NEW TEACHER

Alvin's POV

As I was continuing to adjust to my break from being Mr. Popular, life decided to throw a new hurdle my way. It hadn't been long since the whole incident, at least…it didn't FEEL like long. I'm not good with telling time. It all just blurs together in my mind.

Maybe it had been a week? Maybe a month? Couldn't have been a year though….cuz I would remember that. I'd guess it was around 3 months post-popularity incident. I was trying my hardest to keep my grades up, but I still ran into trouble.

Maintaining a decent, not even "good" just decent, grade in all my classes was extremely difficult. Without the Most Improved Award hanging over my head, I didn't have the grit or drive to motivate me. Even with all the free time from not having parties and sports games to attend as much, I still felt like there wasn't enough time to complete my assignments.

I felt like I was falling behind faster and faster now. Progress reports had just been sent home yesterday and I had a solid D in Math, but now I was flunking Science, ELA, and History because I'd been slacking off in them in order to push myself harder in math. Gym and art were at least Bs! Not that it mattered.

Dave went off on another one of his lectures about trying harder and I turned him out because I didn't need to hear it for the millionth time. I WAS trying hard. It felt like I was walking a bunch of dogs at once. If I paid attention to one dog for too long, the rest would tangle the leash and trip me. But, I also couldn't pay attention to all of them at once.

I needed something that could raise all my grades at once. It would solve ALL my academic problems! It could help me make it to the end of the year, so I could enjoy my summer without Dave staring at me with those disappointed eyes. Did something like that exist? I found out a couple days later in Miss. Smith's class. And that, my dear friends, is where this story begins.

Miss. Smith pointed to a chart on the chalkboard while I was busy working on a new design for one of my comics. I was totally listening to what she said, even if it looked like my attention was focused on the drawing in front of me.

"Remember, everyone. Today's the last day to sign up for or transfer out of any after school activities." She droned on, causing my eyelids to droop. "The school is also offering some special enrichment classes to help those of you who want to boost your overall grade point average. If any of you are interested, sign up sheets are in the main office."

My eyes widened. Ohoho! An extra school class that could raise my grades in multiple classes at once!? It was too good to be true! I wondered what sort of classes I could choose from. There had to be SOMETHING on the list that appealed to me.

I got out of my chair and was immediately seen by my evil teacher who I am like 99% sure is some super villain in her spare time. "Alvin, take your seat. Class isn't over until I dismiss you! We've been over this!"

"But….but….but…." I sputtered.

"Sit down, Alvin." Hissed, my brother, Simon.

I grumpily sat back down in my seat. Then, I wrote a note to myself so I wouldn't forget to check the….NUTS! Where did she say the list would be? Aggravated at myself, I raised my hand.

"What is it now, Alvin?" Miss. Smith glared into my soul with her laser-like eyes.

I let a small squeaky noise out before talking. "Where…uh….where are those extra…currentular uh…doohickeys again?" I knew I had the word wrong, but was unsure how to correct it.

"She just said it." Eleanor, the little one of the Chipettes, told me angrily. "It's the main office."

"Also known as Alvin's favorite place to be." Brittany, Eleanor's ANNOYING sister, teased me. Sure, I get sent to the office a lot. Wait! That gives me an idea.

I took the note I had been writing and wadded it up. Reaching into my backpack, I pulled out a straw. It didn't take a genius to know what I was about to do. I stuck the wadded up paper in my mouth, then I put it in the straw and blew with all my might.

BULLSEYE! The spitball hit Miss. Smith, right in one of the lenses of her dorky pink glasses. She wiped it off and then looked at all of us. "Who did that?"

Several fingers pointed directly at me. I smirked, holding up the straw. "Oops." I lied. "I was aiming for Simon." Simon hadn't even been on my radar.

"Principal's office! Now!" My teacher reacted to the situation exactly as I had hoped.

"Well, if you insist, Miss. Smith." I replied, trying to hide how excited I was. Ohoho! This was my ticket to the office and the list! I hurried out the door and rushed to the main office, my heart pounding. Goofing off always gives me such an adrenaline rush!

It didn't take me long to find the list once I was in the office. My eyesight blurred as I looked at the choices. Dang it! I couldn't read ANY of them. Not without….urgh…my geeky red glasses. I hated wearing those things.

I made a quick trip to my locker to grab the glasses. It was tricky working the combination lock without them, but I managed somehow. Back in the office, the options on the list came into full view. Oof! Man! This was a lot to read. Okay, maybe I could just start at the top and work my way down until I found one that seems fun.

Agriculture? No, HARD pass.

Organic Chemistry? Ew. Science.

Interpretive Dance? Possibility…

Music Appreciation? Ohoho! THAT'S THE ONE! I remember my pal Kevin telling me he took Music Appreciation once. All they do is listen to music and write down what they think of the songs. With this class, my grade point average would go up just enough to push me to passing in my failing classes!

I located the clipboard that had the sign up sheet for Music Appreciation. I grabbed a pencil laying on the table and prepared to write my name.

And then, I stopped. That ol ADHD had kicked in and my attention shifted to another sign up sheet with a word on it that made my head tingle.

PSYCHICS! A whole class on how to get psychic powers!? Maybe it's a study on how psychic people use their powers? Or famous psychics throughout history? I HOPED it was a class on expanding your psychic abilities though. I had ALWAYS wanted to be psychic! To see the future! To read minds! Think about it! Psychic Alvin! Kinda has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Before I could second guess myself, I had impulsively added my name to the sign up sheet. I thought my problems were solved. Everything was going so well! The universe had just handed me an opportunity and I had answered the door.

A day later, my brothers, Jeanette, Ellie, and I all met up in the cafeteria. We sometimes ate lunch together as a group. Brittany would have been there too, but she was running late. Principal's Assistant duties or something was keeping her held hostage.

"So, did anyone sign up for those special extracurricular classes?" Jeanette asked us as a group. "I'm taking a gardening class." She nibbled some apple slices in between talking to us.

Simon was making ham and cheese rollups as he joined in our discussion. "Organic Chemistry." Of course he'd pick that one. It sounded like something he'd find fun. Me? Not so much.

"I didn't choose one of those special classes." Eleanor squeezed a grape too hard and the juice squirted at Theo, who ducked to avoid it. "But I did decide to try out for Volleyball."

"And I'm taking an extra cooking class." Theodore smiled and then shoved his cheeks full of popcorn. Wait, did Dave let him have popcorn for lunch? No fair!

Sensing it was my turn to talk, I jumped in. "I signed up for one of the special classes."

Theo, Simon, and Eleanor's jaws dropped. Jeanette gave me a cute smile that said "good for you, Alvin."

I decided to talk more to fill the silence. "That's why I asked about where the list was."

"Ohhhh." Theodore said, sipping his juice box. "I just thought you were trying to make Miss. Smith mad."

"You signed up for extra school? YOU!?" Eleanor's blonde pigtails swished as she turned her head to stare at me.

"Hey, I need a quick way to, you know, not flunk my classes." I explained.

"This isn't a quick "fix it" method." Simon told me sharply. "These classes are hard work."

"I'm aware." I grinned. "I found a really cool one, so I'm pretty sure I'll be able to give it my best shot."

Theo seemed less shocked by my decision now. "What did you sign up for, Alvin?" He asked sweetly.

Ohoho! I had been waiting so long to tell them. "A class about Psychics. I can't wait to see what sort of psychic powers I unleash!" I waved my hands around pretending to channel my soon to be real psychic abilities.

Until Jeanette pulled up the list on her phone and ruined everything. "Uh, Alvin?" She tilted her head as she read the word. "This doesn't say psychics. It says physics."

Wait, what? No! I MISREAD IT EVEN WITH MY STUPID GLASSES ON!?

Simon burst out laughing "Oh my gosh."

Dread crept over me like a blanket. I didn't even know what I'd signed myself up for. "Physics?" I questioned aloud. "What's physics?"

Simon chuckled again. "Oh please can I tell him?" He folded his hands on the lunch table.

"Go right ahead." Eleanor urged. "I wanna see the look on his face."

Simon cleared his throat and then, just like Jeanette did,….he too ruined my day. "Physics is the study of matter, energy, forces, the universe, and everything inside it. It's one of the three most well known branches of science. The other two being Biology and Chemistry."

OH NO! OH NOOOOO! What had I DONE!? "It's a science?" I asked, as disturbed as I could possibly be. "It's a SCIENCE!?" I repeated louder. "Are you telling me I signed myself up for a SCIENCE class!? Nohoho! Science is the WORST!"

"Yep, you did." My younger, and definitely smarter brother told me with a hint of sympathy. "And the period to drop and switch extracurriculars has passed so….tough break."

"Ooooh ouch." Theodore frowned.

"This is HILARIOUS!" Eleanor cackled. "Also, think about it, why would the school teach a class on psychics?"

And then, Simon joined right in with the teasing. "I'm just impressed he knew that psychics has a P an H and a Y in it."

Jeanette tapped her reusable water bottle on the table to make them stop laughing. Then, she spoke. "I don't think it'll hurt to try it out. You might have a great time." She told me, midnight blue eyes shining.

"No, No, Jeanette." I replied painfully. "I'm gonna be bored out of my mind! Science hates me and I hate it." As evidenced by my current F in science!

Then, just when I thought things couldn't get worse, Brittany returned from wherever she'd been. "Hey, guys! What's up?" The girl in the pink skirt and lighter pink top with a picture of her face on it took her seat next to me.

And Theo immediately caught her up on my big problem. "Alvin accidentally signed himself up for a science class."

"Really?" She studied me with her icey eyes, almost as if she didn't believe it HAD been an accident. "He can get out of it, right?"

I sighed. There was no hiding this. "No. I can't. I'm stuck. I can't drop it until next week." I groaned pitifully. "An entire week of physics." I gagged on the word physics. "I'd rather go on another archeology trip or to space camp." Which would still be boring and intolerable, but less than a physics class.

Jeanette raised her hand. "If you need help, I can help you understand the material." She offered.

I was getting really annoyed with her now. "I don't want to understand it. I'm gonna nap as much as I can in that class. Then I'll switch out in a week and into something else that I actually have a chance of passing." Like Music Appreciation! The thing I almost signed up for before I made my enormous blunder.

Si shrugged his shoulders. "Or you could try and actually learn something? Maybe just a tiny bit." He suggested.

"Simon, stop tormenting him." Brittany hissed. Finally, someone was on my side.

My brother looked confused. "I'm not. That wasn't tormenting or teasing. I'm serious."

"It's an amazing chance. You could open your mind to so many possibilities." Jeanette added.

I stopped looking at her because now the mere sight of her face was making me mad. Would she just SHUT UP already? "Nope. I have made up my mind. I'm not going to be forced to learn something I have no interest in." I finished my lunchables mini pizzas and tossed the empty container in the nearest trash can. "Now, if you'll excuse me….I'm gonna go to art class and try to forget about this."

"Considering how much you forget, you won't have to try very hard." Eleanor commented with a wink.

I grabbed Theo's juice box and squirted her with it. I was very sensitive when it came to my spotty memory.

"Hey!" Theo shouted. "That was my juice!"

"Uncalled for, Alvin." Simon told me sternly.

"Apologize to my sister." Brittany snapped. "Or else."

"I'm sorry." I told Eleanor even though I really didn't want to. "But that was definitely called for." I muttered under my breath. I'd had enough of their teasing.

I stormed out of the lunchroom, a hurricane of emotions. I couldn't believe I'd made such a stupid spelling mistake. And now….I was gonna be trapped after school for an entire hour…being taught science junk that didn't have a chance of sticking in my brain. I needed to get out of that class. It was time for a new plan.

After school, I reported to the classroom where my Physics BLECH! class was held. There was a guy in a funny looking tan jacket with a bunch of weird flower designs on it standing by the door. He wore a blue and green striped tie and loafers on his feet.

"Welcome!" He boomed, sounding like a guy advertising something. "Come come, sit down. We're going to take a trip through the galaxy to discover the building blocks of the universe."

Galaxy? Space stuff? Okay, I'll bite. "Will there be aliens?" I asked the dude.

He shook his head. "I'm afraid not, young scholar. But, there are quantum mechanics!"

I yawned. "Yeah. Not interested. Also, I'm not a scholar." A scholar wouldn't be in danger of failing a new class every week.

"Perhaps not yet." There was a mischievous twinkle in his eye. It reminded me of my own. Weird.

"Not EVER." I repeated. "Science sucks."

He scratched his head. "You're Alvin Seville, aren't you?"

I pointed to my giant A on my shirt. "The one and only."

"Why, pray tell, have you signed up for this class if you have such disdain toward science?" The man asked.

"Well, that's actually what I wanna talk to you about. You're the teacher, right?" I said, twisting the ripped hem of my red hoodie with my hands.

"Yes. My name is Doctor Adam Wilson. But you can call me Dr. Wilson for short." He reached out a hand and bent down to get closer to my height.

I shook his hand. "Great! Nice to meet ya, teech." I replied. Then, I cut to the chase. "I wanna drop this class. I signed up by mistake."

He looked disappointed by that. "Are you sure?"

"Never been more sure of anything in my life." I said confidently. "This ain't my scene."

He looked at me with those twinkly eyes of his. "I'll tell you what, Alvin. You stay in my class today and if my lesson hasn't peaked your interest by the time you're dismissed, then I will sign the forms for you to transfer next week and you don't have to show up for any more classes. Deal?"

"Deal" I smirked back at the man, then scowled and took my seat. He was challenging me. I couldn't resist a challenge. Besides, what were the odds that one hour of listening to him babble about science would have any effect on me? It sure hadn't worked with Miss. Smith.

I looked around the room. There were a bunch of random posters on the walls that seemed to have nothing to do with science. Rollercoasters, waterslides, football and other sports, racecars and airplanes. Maybe he was like me and he just liked to decorate his space with all the random things he enjoyed.

I watched as the other kids in class, the majority of them quite geeky in appearance like Kevin and Cheesy, sat with excited and mesmerized grins on their faces. It was like they expected Dr Winslow or Walton or whatever to be a famous celebrity. Starstruck was the only word that could describe it. Starstruck or…brainwashed.

No, Alvin, you're being silly. I told myself. He's too nice to be an alien and he's not gonna brainwash you or zap you with anything and make you into an obedient little nerd drone. He's just some kooky science teacher who dresses weird and actually didn't hate your guts the minute he saw you. Everything is gonna be fine.

Chapter Text

TOUCHED BY AN...ALIEN

Alvin's POV

Dr. Whatshisname walked up to the chalkboard and wrote one simple sentence there to start. I squinted and could make out some of it. I briefly, ever so briefly, considered putting on my glasses before mentally slapping the thought out of my mind. If I couldn't read it, then I couldn't understand it and that meant I wasn't going to risk getting sucked into this sciency pit of heck.

Too bad the weird teacher decided to say what he wrote out loud. "Physics is everything."

I rolled my eyes. The same stupid thing that Simon always says. How can physics be everything? What is physics? It's just a concept some crazy dudes invented because they were bored. Wait a second…isn't that what I do when I'm bored? Invent wild ideas and explanations in my head?

"How many of you rode your bike to school today?" The crazy guy asked.

A few hands went up.

"How many of you enjoy watching TV?"

Drat! I had to join the whole class raising my hand on that one.

"How many of you like using your phone to surf the web?"

Again, my hand went up with everyone else.

"And how many of you like to listen to music?"

Now not everyone had their hand raised, but mine was still reaching for the ceiling. Music was my life! It made me who I am!

"Good. Good." He stared at me with another mischievous twinkle in his eye. "How many of you like to play sports?"

There were about a third of the class's hands still in the air, including mine. This was not off to a great start.

And it continued to get worse. "Good good. Well, surprise, surprise, if you aren't already aware….physics is part of all of those things. Which, using deductive reasoning, means that all of those things are part of physics." The man sat on top of his desk and crossed one leg over the other. "Our goal today, is to learn which physics concepts can explain all of those things I just listed."

What? But that didn't make any sense! How could music and sports be physics? I mean, physical maybe. Cuz like you can dance to music and sports make you move. But neither of those things are scientific.

"Any questions?" Dr. W prompted.

And before I could realize what I was doing, my hand was in the air.

"Yes, the bright young lad in the baseball cap." He smiled at me.

"Whattaya mean music and sports are physics? How….How is that possible?"

"I am so glad you asked." What followed was a slideshow explaining the physics of sports and music and motion and well, all those other things he said. My brain started to tingle and my mouth went dry. This stuff was beginning to (gulp) make SENSE!?

He talked about the laws of motion and how you can predict how an object will move based on those three laws. Wow! And here I was just smacking a tennis ball around randomly like a chump. And kicking a soccer ball with all my might, barely paying attention to where it went. This physics stuff could give me an edge in sports that most people didn't have!

Dr. W also discussed the concepts of friction, static electricity, vibrations, and inertia. That last one was a word I hadn't heard before. I liked the way it rolled off my tongue. Inertia. Inerrrtiaaa.

By the time he started explaining how to calculate the sweet spot to hit a baseball for maximum accuracy, I was feeling weak in the knees. He was just so exciting! So captivating! He wasn't anything like Miss. Smith. I liked him! I really liked him!

WHAT DID HE DO TO ME!? Panic overtook me at full force. He had some kind of hold over me! It was like a tractor beam, gluing me to my seat. I tried to move but as I now knew, an object at rest typically likes to stay at rest.

How could I get out of here? Wait, I needed a force to act on me, didn't I? Aw man! This stuff was sticking in my head like molasses! Out out out! Stay out! Sciency thoughts, begone! I finally felt enough energy to turn my head toward the door.

At that moment, Dr. Wilson, Wait, I knew his name now!?, continued his presentation. This time he made physics pluck my heartstrings 10 times more than it was already doin'. He was talking about music. I was absolutely doomed. I could feel the brain tingles even stronger now!

"Humans speak and sing by vibrating the air column in their throats. By changing the shape and tension of their vocal chords, they create different vibrational modes and sounds. Practiced singers can do this very well.." He went on. Practiced singers? Oooh! Like me! "They can shape their vocal cords to hold notes and to hit several exact notes on a musical scale without faltering in pitch."

I waved my hand around and he called on me again. I was falling right into his trap and I knew it, but I couldn't help myself. "I can do that!" I exclaimed. "Would you like a demonstration?"

"I'm all ears." He said warmly.

I sang each note perfectly while standing on my desk and then took a bow. The whole class clapped.

Dr. Wilson went on to explain that music is made of different invisible waves called soundwaves. The air all around us is FULL of them! And radio waves and TV waves are being beamed through our heads constantly but we don't realize it. We only experience the result of those waves when we turn on a TV or radio.

It's really kind of….beautiful when you think about it real hard. And I was thinking about it HARD, harder than anything I'd ever thought before in my life. It was so FASCINATING!

Before I knew it, class was over and I had absorbed pretty much the whole lesson without being distracted. Yikes! I knew I must have had a dazed and starstruck look on my face just like the rest of the class. Yep. This was definitely brainwashing. 100% brainwashing. Dr. Wilson had somehow made me….into an intellectual.

"So, how was it?" He asked, walking by my desk.

My heart pounded in my ears. "It….It….It was….f…f….f…." I could feel my eye twitch. "…fun."

Somehow I just couldn't lie to the guy. "Why…Why would you do this to me!?" We were both alone in the classroom now, all the other kids had stumbled out…probably daydreaming about physics the way I was fated to forever.

"Do what? Hmmm?" He prompted.

My mouth felt dry and I felt dizzy. "M…Make me….like this stuff!"

He waved his arms. "Oh it wasn't all me. I owe a great deal to THE POWER OF SCIENCE!" He smiled at me with that super unsettling smile. "I take it, I'll be seeing you again tomorrow?"

I finally got up from the chair. "Yes. Okay, yes. You win." I groaned. "You've turned me into a nerd. My life will never be the same."

"Perhaps not." He walked with me to the door. "Perhaps that's a good thing."

"I doubt it." I replied, accelerating…drat…I mean RUNNING away as soon as I reached the door. Maybe my boosted brainpower would fade as soon as I got out of there. Whatever alien device he was using to give me physics fact brain rot might still be in the classroom.

Or maybe I wasn't as lucky and it was part of the slides he'd used. Maybe those slides had beamed the knowledge into my head, never to fully fade away. I shuddered at the thought.

"Come on, ADHD." I willed. "Do your stuff. Make me forget the last hour ever happened."

Nope. No luck. My brain responded with "Did you know soundwaves can generate heat?" I didn't remember Dr. Wilson teaching that, but if it was in my head then he MUST have. Ohhhh this was BAD. So BAD! Nobody could know about this! Nobody could know that I, total delinquent, Alvin Seville, was enamored with any form of science.

I jumped onto the drinking fountain and splashed cold water on my face, trying to get rid of the dazed look in my eyes and my pale complexion. "Don't think about physics! Don't think about physics! Don't think about physics!" I told myself internally. Right, how was I supposed to do that.

"Everything is physics." Dr. Wilson's voice echoed in my brain.

Cool, so then I just had to stop thinking about….anything. This was going to be harder than I thought. I had to turn this newly enhanced brain off somehow. If only I could remember how to get back into impulse mode.

I climbed down from the drinking fountain and took out my phone. I knew I was probably running late to meet up with my brothers. The phone felt warm in my hand. Hey, I bet that's cuz of the electrical current running through it. Grrrr! No! Off brain! Turn OFF!

I received a text from Simon. [Where are you?]

My furry fingers texted back. [On my way.]

[How was class?] My brother texted back.

"Physics is so COOL!" My infected brain shouted.

I shoved the phone back in my pocket to reduce the chance of texting Simon that. I needed to come up with a good lie to tell. Something believable.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Eleanor teased as I met up with my brothers and the girls outside the school.

Close, Ells. Try ALIEN!

"You survived the whole hour!" Theodore clapped his hands. "Good job."

"So, how was physics class?" Simon asked me the same question he'd texted me.

There was only one thing to answer. "Boring." I said. "It was boring."

"Really?" Jeanette seemed sad. "You didn't learn anything?"

"Nope! It was totally boring!" I said in a rush.

"….okay?" Brittany tilted her head and studied me.

Simon walked down the school steps carefully. "Can't say I'm surprised."

Ha! If only he knew, but he would never know. He was the last person I wanted to have anything in common with….and now we were both science nerds.

"How was Orgasmic Chemistry?" I asked, deflecting the convo away from me and onto him.

"Organic. ORGANIC chemistry." He stressed. "It was very enlightening. We made a chart of a bunch of chemical compounds."

Was chemistry connected to physics? Because suddenly studying the physics behind chemical compounds ALSO interested me. AHHHHH!

"Cool. Cool." I nodded, before realizing my mistake. "I mean lame. So lame."

"Are you okay, Alvin?" Theodore asked, picking up on my jittery behavior.

"What? Yeah! Of course. I'm just….tired. Had a long nap in class and I haven't quite, you know, woken up all the way. I'm gonna actually run ahead. Got lots of stuff to do at home. Super important stuff that can't wait, so BYE!"

I could have played that smoother. What was wrong with me? I rushed home and ate dinner. I was really dizzy due to the fact that I was starving. I needed food to give me energy…and that was also connected to physics. Drat. Dang, he wasn't KIDDING! Everything really IS physics.

It went on like this all afternoon and into the evening. Videogames? Obsessing over the physics of my reflexes. Music? Yeah well…that was ruined forever. Sports? Ha! I don't think so! I finally laid on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. "Empty your miiiiind." I begged myself. "You don't need to know this stuff. You don't WANT to know this stuff."

But I DID want to know it, which further proves that Dr. Wilson had altered my state of consciousness. I had never been interested in knowing things like this before. I liked things for what they were. I had no reason to know how they worked. I had Simon for that.

Now, my curiosity was at an all time high. The more I could connect the dots in my mind, the more I WANTED to know. It was an unhealthy addiction. Science had taken over my thoughts more than any girl ever did. Ewwww. Did that mean I was falling madly in love….with PHYSICS!?

There was only one person I could talk to at a time like this. I scurried downstairs and then down more stairs until I reached Simon's lab in the basement. I had to come out and say it. My brainy bro could help me. I know he could.

"Simon," I scuffed my feet on the concrete floor. "I am pretty sure my physics teacher is an alien." What? Did you think I was gonna tell him about my new genius powers? Nah! That was staying under wraps until I got too smart to hide it.

Predictably, I had to deal with Simon's classic dry wit. "And I'm pretty sure you've read one too many Bruce Coville books." He responded, adjusting his glasses as he worked on…homework? I think. I couldn't tell for sure.

In his defense, I did get the idea from a book. My Teacher Fried My Brains to be exact. I had read the whole series multiple times back when I first got reading glasses and reading was new and exciting. In MY defense, what other explanation could there be? I wasn't naturally smart like Simon and now suddenly I WAS!? It made no sense unless you looked at it from the whole alien brain fryer angle.

I decided to lay out some more indisputable evidence. "I'm serious! He's weird and he's always SMILING! Teachers don't smile, Si."

The tiniest hint of a smile tugged at his lips. "Maybe not at you." Oooh another zinger. He's throwing them around all willy nilly. Little does he realize, I may very soon be on his level…able to hit back with intellectual and witty jokes too.

"Ha ha." I said sarcastically, continuing my evidence collection. "And he has this jacket with flower designs all over it."

"Flowers? You mean like paisley?" Simon asked.

"No, like really odd looking flowers." I grabbed a sheet of paper from his scrap paper pile and a blue ballpoint pen. I proceeded to draw him a picture of what I meant.

"That's an atom, Alvin." He explained.

"Huh?" I asked. Dr. Wilson hadn't covered atoms yet.

"You know, the building blocks of the universe?" He continued.

I thought physics was the building blocks of the universe. Thus, atoms must be connected to physics.

But to keep up the ruse, I stared at Si with a blank expression.

Simon held up his fingers close together. "Tiny tiny particles that no one can see?"

Yeah, that didn't help me. I continued to stare.

He sighed. "The design on Jimmy Neutron's T shirt."

"Ohhhh!" I could see it now! That was the same symbol. "Yeah! That thing! Cool design honestly. I love how the tiny balls like….orbit around the center ball."

"It is a fun design." He softened a bit.

"Now back to the alien thing. How do we prove he's an alien, Simon? I need ideas." I paced around the lab.

"Aren't YOU the ideas guy?" He responded, with a calculating stare not unlike ones Britt had been giving me lately.

"Figured you'd want a crack at it. Ya know, keep it all even steven." I said. Plus, I currently couldn't think of ideas without getting distracted thinking about FREAKIN PHYSICS. I usually say that I am the ideas guy, the leader, but ALSO the brains. That last part used to be a joke….It wasn't anymore.

"I'm not helping you kidnap the physics teacher so you can try and rip his "mask" off only to find out he's not wearing one and you're a lunatic." He shooed me away. "Now, if you don't mind, I have to finish these equations. They're going to determine whether my next invention functions properly."

Oooh! Function! Another one of my favorite terms! "Conjunction Junction, what's your function?" My head sang to me. Nuts! I knew watching those old Schoolhouse Rock tapes with Jeanette was a bad idea.

"Okay." I left Simon to his funny little functions and returned upstairs. I was on my own with this alien thing. Wait! Maybe I could get Theo on board! I know the last time I thought there was an alien in the school, it turned out to be some props for a movie set. I was POSITIVE that there was an alien this time. I was also positive that the alien was specifically targeting me.

They know I'm onto them. They know I won't rest until I can prove they exist. I wondered what sorta alien name Dr. Wilson had. What was behind his human disguise. Did he have tentacles? 5 eyeballs? Did he even have a mouth? What color was his skin? Electric green? Pink? Bright red? Maybe violet?

It was so nice pondering the vast possibilities of extraterrestrial life. It almost made me stop thinking about phys….OH COME ON! And now I was thinking about the thrust power of an alien spaceship. I really hated my new brain.

I called up Brittany because if Simon wouldn't listen, maybe she would.

"Alvin, no. This is the 30th person you've accused of being an alien. You have to stop this." She told me, sounding tired and angry.

"But but….I know for a fact this time." I insisted.

"You've thought Dave was an alien. You've even thought I was an alien!" She spat.

"Yeah uh. My bad on the body snatcher thing. I just didn't know why you were acting so nice." I told her.

She groaned. "I was acting nice because…."

Long pause. "Because?" I echoed.

"You know what? Forget it. It doesn't matter. Goodbye, Alvin." She hung up.

Eleanor also hung up on me. "If this is about Dr. Wilson, Britt told me everything. And also, just a reminder, my ponytails are not antennas I use to contact my home planet, okay!?" That was all I got out of her.

Jeanette was unhelpful in a different way. "He's a very kind and unique individual. He's not an alien."

Well, I guess all that was left was Theo, Kevin, and Cheesy. I was too tired to deal with any more convincing people tonight. They'd have to wait until morning.

My eyes drifted to Simon's bookcase. The brain tingles started up again. I wanted to read. Why did I want to read? I reached for my reading glasses on the nightstand and then tip toed over to the shelf…even though there was currently nobody in the room to catch me. I pulled out the book that had grabbed my attention. Advanced Quantum Mechanics. The pinnacle of all nerd books. Once I read this, there was no going back. The tingles were so strong now!

I grabbed a flashlight and hurried into the small teepee near the window. That was where Theo hid sometimes when he didn't wanna be found. I currently didn't want to be found, so I entered the hideaway and shined the flashlight on the Quantum Mechanics book. It was now or never.

I opened the book and pushed my glasses up my nose. I tried to read it, but the majority of it made no sense to me. I sighed. Right. Still not as smart as Simon after all. That was probably a good thing. Gosh darn it! I wanted to learn all the stuff in that book though.

Maybe I needed another dose of Dr. Wilson's brain booster? No! Perish the thought. That was what he WANTED me to do. If I was gonna make myself smart enough to take down Dr. Wilson without being assimilated into his army of nerds, I was gonna have to do it the old fashioned way.

I exchanged the book for my laptop, making sure to put the book back from exactly where it came, or else Si would notice. Laptop acquired, I loaded the search engine and then typed in exactly what I was looking for. When you're learning something new, you always start from the bottom and work your way up.

"Physics books for dummies." I typed in, crossing my fingers that something would appear.

Yes! There it was! A book titled Physics For Dummies. It promised to start simple and slowly work up to the more confusing and complex concepts. It was perfect! I placed an order for the book and then I put my laptop away and crawled back in bed.

Sure, now I had to intercept the book somehow before anyone saw it get delivered, but that was my specialty. I'd been ordering stuff I wasn't supposed to have and hiding it from Dave for years. Just little things! A monster book, some super sweet candy that makes me hyper, and a special velvet case for my harmonica, to name a few.

My head hit the pillow and Dr. Wilsons slides and lecture replayed in my mind. This was so frustrating! I just wanted to sleep! Let me sleep! Boy, I couldn't wait to become smart enough to learn how to finally get physics out of my head for good.

Chapter Text

THE PHYSICS OF IT ALL

Alvin's POV

When I woke up in the morning, I hoped that things would be back to normal. Usually, whenever I go to sleep and wake up, it functions as a giant mental reset button. I forget so much of the day before that when people try to ask me about things I did, I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

Until now.

I woke up to the buzzing of Simon's alarm clock and immediately started thinking about the pattern of invisible sound waves that were coming from it. I may have forgotten some of the prior day, but all the physics facts were STILL coming on strong.

"Oh come on!" I muttered.

Theodore zipped up his green hoodie. "Come on where?"

"Oh, errr, just talking to myself." I said in a rush.

"Alvin, wow, you're up early." Simon remarked, turning off his alarm clock.

Yes, I know, this was unusual behavior for me. I just couldn't wait to get to school and see how well my upgraded thought process helped me in my other, admittedly more boring, classes. Hold up, WHAT!? I couldn't wait to get to school? WHO WAS I!?

"I didn't sleep well." I lied. I'd slept AMAZING. I had so many dreams about physics and aliens and I wondered if alien physics differed any from earth physics. I recalled from somewhere that different planets have different intensity gravitational fields.

I froze at that thought. Did Dr. Willerkers cover gravitational fields? No, but I now could vividly remember Simon talking about them. Being a sudden genius sure was weird.

"Maybe you should talk to a therapist about all your nightmares." Theo suggested as we headed downstairs for breakfast.

"No, no, I'm fine." I made sure to shove my glasses case in my backpack, in case I found anything interesting to read today. Yep. I was a total dweebus now, and loving, while fearing, every minute of it.

Simon did his usual eye roll. "He was probably having nightmares about aliens again." My middle bro told my baby one.

"Morning, Fellas." Dave greeted us from the kitchen. He handed us our neatly packed lunchboxes and then left us to fend for ourselves getting breakfast.

I poured myself a bowl of off brand honey nut cheerios and found myself thinking about the volume of the milk in the bowl.

Holy nuts! That was also something Simon had said that I never paid attention to before. Nor had I cared about the buoyancy of the floating cereal. Did the brain fryer also make it easier to recall past sciency things I had heard…by connecting them to physics?

"Alvin, are you okay?" My dad's deep voice penetrated the science tizzy.

"Uh huh." I answered back robotically.

Dave's eyebrow raised. He didn't believe me. "Really? Because you've been staring at your cereal for 10 minutes." He pointed out.

"It's gonna get soggy." Theo added.

Simon studied me. "He's been acting very strange lately. Stranger than usual."

"Yeah. It all started after he found out Britt paid all those people to pretend he's a popular kid." My brother in green said to my father.

I stuck my spoon into my cereal and fumed. "Stop bringing that up! Please! I am begging you."

"If you need to talk to anyone, perhaps the guidance counselor…" Dave began.

"Urgh!" I quickly finished the cereal. "I said I'm fine. Now just….leave me alone. I gotta prepare myself for another torturous physics class."

"Physics can be quite exciting if you just give it a chance." Simon told me, grabbing his backpack.

Theo grabbed his cookie shaped backpack too. "Simon, don't keep pushing at him." The shorter chipmunk pulled at Simon's blue shirt.

"I don't want to talk about physics." I fibbed. My heart was yearning to rub everything I had learned in everyone's face. I was dying to tell Simon that there were now two genius Seville brothers and I was only getting smarter by the minute.

I made so many connections that I never thought possible. It was incredibly COOL! But telling everyone would change things. I didn't want things to change. I didn't want the sudden pressure of being a gifted kid, so I had to go against my sciency instincts.

"Fine. Fine. Let's get to school. I won't bring it up again." My brother in blue walked out the door.

Before I knew it, I was back in Miss. Smith's class, struggling through the history lesson. Weirdly, the science-i-fication of my mind didn't give me a boost in history or literature. I could still act like the old me in those classes.

I couldn't act like the old me in math though, since I'd improved a little there in my quest to bring my math grade up. Then, after lunch, (which I spent hangin' with Kevin and Cheesy talking about aliens and working my way up to telling them about Dr. Wilson,) Miss. Smith taught a science lesson in her usual boring way. But this time, I recognized the concepts she was covering! So even though I tried to fall asleep, I couldn't! I just couldn't!

I made it to art class and I decided to talk to Jeanette. She seemed the most likely to believe me. She believed in magic, and sure, she wasn't totally sold on the whole alien concept. However, once she found out about my enhanced brain, she was sure to listen.

"Jeanette,…" I said, right before the final bell rang. I need to talk to you.

"Sorry, Alvin." She hurried out of the room before I could say a word. "I have to get to my gardening class. We can talk later, alright?" And then she was gone. With her, went my only hope.

Now, I was forced to return to that stupid physics class and endure whatever else Dr. W tried to do to me. I could have just run for the exit then and there, but the curiosity compelled me. I found myself walking into the physics classroom and taking my seat….even before class started!

"Pack your bags, class." Dr. Wilson told us once the class was back in session. "We're going to the skatepark." He strapped a helmet onto his head and held up a super cool skateboard with flames on it.

If I hadn't already been positive he was messing with me before, you can bet I was now. "Why?" I asked, sounding like the lost little kid I was.

"It's a surprise!" He winked at me.

And like the brainwashed little creature I was becoming, I followed him and the rest of the class to the skatepark. I was unable to force myself to turn around. I didn't WANT to. I had to know what this alien was up to…and why he'd chosen me. Why increase my intelligence when he could just kidnap Simon without frying Simon's brains?

Once we were at the skatepark, he skated up to the biggest ramp and shouted in a loud voice. "Today, we will be exploring how physics is connected to geometry! And to do that, you'll be watching a skateboarding demo!"

Wait, there's Geometry in SKATEBOARDING!? Geometry is Math! Skateboarding is math!? MATH!? And also SCIENCE? The brain tingles started up again and I groaned loudly.

It happened again, just like the first time. Worse than the first time. He explained angles using skateboarding terms that I previously had no idea were named after angles. Then, he taught us how to calculate the angles and gave us a worksheet with a bunch of math problems that all related to skateboarding.

As I stared at the worksheet, the tingles took over and before I had time to really think about what I was doing, I had answered every question….CORRECTLY. I knew because Dr. Wilson looked it over and then added a shiny gold atom sticker to my page.

"Very good." He said. "You got an A for the day."

"You forgot the minus." I told him. I'd never scored higher than an A minus in anything before. In fact, I had only scored an A minus on one test….about physics? No, wait, that can't be right.

If I had learned physics before, I'd forgotten it. Every single bit of it. That PROVES ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT DR. WILSON REALLY DID FRY MY BRAIN! He'd somehow untwisted all my synapses and connected them correctly! Did that mean I no longer had ADHD? Or that I had learned to compensate FOR my ADHD?

The alien teacher chuckled. "I didn't forget anything, young man. You earned that A. Wear it proud, like the one on your shirt."

"Oookay?" I squeaked out.

When class was over, and I was once again walking home, I got the notification that my physics book was going to be delivered. I had ordered it with 2 day express shipping, but I didn't realize that meant it might come in ONE!

Brittany looked over my shoulder, trying to see why my phone had dinged. I shoved the phone in my pocket. I had to beat everyone home! So I could accept the package in private! We didn't have a mailbox for….reasons, so my only shot was to be the first to see the mailman.

"What are you hiding?" She teased. "Texting another girl."

"Yes. I'm texting my newest true love" I said, half telling the truth. "I think she's just amazing."

"Of course you do." Britt folded her arms and looked offended by my statement. But why?

"Ohhh! That explains why you've been acting so weird lately!" Eleanor elbowed me. "Where'd ya meet this unlucky girl?"

I blushed. This was making one heck of a good excuse though! "In physics class."

"Just don't let fawning over this girl distract you from everything." Simon warned. Yeah. Too late.

"Or make you forget to change classes." The Chipette in pink added. "Because you don't wanna be stuck in there another week too."

Actually, I sorta did. My mind had been expanding ever outward, just like the universe itself! I couldn't imagine going back to not knowing all this stuff. It gave me so many more questions to answer, like a beautiful puzzle! I wanted to know more and more! I hated it! I loved it! It was an intriguing contradiction.

"Hello? Earth to Alvin?" Brittany waved her hand in front of my face. "Alvin?"

"ALVINNN!" Everyone except Jeanette shouted together at once.

"Huh? What?" My mind had spiraled with visions of science and math. Oops.

"You zoned out again." Eleanor told me, reaching out to slap me on the back.

I anticipated her action and moved before she could. She fell on the ground and stared up at me, annoyed. "Whoops." I chuckled.

"You were thinking about that girl again, weren't you?" Jeanette giggled. At least she found my antics adorable.

I sighed. "Ya got me."

Brittany and Simon helped Eleanor off the ground. The pigtailed girl gave me some very evil eyes.

"So what's her name?" Theodore asked, taking a candy bar from his hoodie pocket and unwrapping it.

Shoot! Shoot! SHOOT! Think fast, Alvin! Think! "Uhhhhh…" That's not fast enough, dude!

Brittany looked even MORE offended now. "You don't even know her name!?" She scoffed. "I would say I'm surprised, but I'm not. You treat girls like a pretty face and nothing more."

"No substance." Added Eleanor.

That wasn't true! I loved girls for their substance too! "Nuh uh!" I insisted. "I'm not good with names. That's all." That wasn't a lie. Names were hard to remember. Always.

I suddenly remembered that I needed to get home to get that book…before anyone found out that the "girl" I'm obsessing over isn't a girl at all.

"Sure." Britt said sarcastically, opening her tiny makeup compact mirror. She used it to distract herself from how mad she was at me.

"I've gotta go." I tightened my straps on my black backpack with the skull design on it. "My favorite show is on soon and I don't wanna miss it."

I zoomed off down the sidewalk before I could hear anything else they said. I hoped they weren't too suspicious of me.

I talked to the mailman and got the book. Just my rotten luck, it came in a see through wrapper so you could easily tell it was a book on physics.

"Simon wanted me to pick this up for him." I fibbed to the postman. "He's gonna be home late."

The guy didn't question it and I went upstairs to hide in the closet and see what this book for dummies had to offer. I tore off the wrapping, slipped on my reading glasses, and started to read the first page.

Holy nuts! This was basic! Physics For Dummies indeed….and I was no dummy. At least, not anymore. These concepts were slightly more basic than what Dr. Wilson had taught me.

I flipped through the pages, hoping that I hadn't wasted my money on a book full of stuff I already knew. Luckily, once I reached chapter 3, things began to pick up.

My stomach growled and I ignored it, immersed in the text. Eventually I got to a part that stopped making sense. My brain lost the ability to concentrate on it. But, with my idea making capabilities enhanced, I knew exactly how to make myself concentrate on it.

I started to play music from my phone. I played a bunch of original songs that my brothers and I had created together. It worked! With the songs as background noise, the brain tingles started again! My focus sharpened and I DEVOURED that physics book like Theo devours a triple decker sandwich.

No, I don't mean I ate it. I mean I just absorbed it all mentally. At least 80% of it made sense. What didn't make sense, I was kind of able to piece together theories about…although I had no idea if I was right.

I finished the book and switched my focus fully back to the music. A very fitting song, reminding me of the mess I was in, jolted me back to reality.

"I'm ready and waitin' for ya

I'm ready to go (I'm ready to go)

No time to talk about it

I'm ready to show (I'm ready to show)

I know I'll never be the same (never be the, never be the same, now)

Aliens are coming for my brain (my, my brain, two-three-four, hey yeah, hey yeah)

I'm gonna fight 'til I can't fight no more all day, yeah (all day, yeah)

If you want a piece of me just come and get it (ahh)

I know I'll never be the same (never be the, never be the same, now)

Aliens are coming for my brain (my braaaaain)"

I shuddered as I turned my phone's music app off. How could I once again allow physics to distract me from the mission? I needed to be recruiting someone to help me bust Dr. Wilson! Then, maybe I could get my genius powers turned off and go back to being a blissfully oblivious simpleton. Did I want that? Who am I kidding? Of course I wanted that! All this thinking was giving me a killer headache!

So I did what any rational dude would do. I called up Cheesy. "Hey, Cheesy. I need your help with something."

"Ah…" His unique voice was slightly harder to comprehend over the phone. "I can't, Alvin. Mom grounded me for a week. I'm not supposed to see friends or play videogames."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Darned if I know!" His twang was especially evident in that phrase.

"I feel that." I said sympathetically.

With Cheesy out, I called the school's resident alien expert. "Kevin, my man, how's it going?"

"Pretty well." He responded.

"Awesome. Anyway, uh….I think my new physics teacher is an alien! Can you help me send him back to his home planet? Before he dissects my brain?" I waited for a response.

Kevin LAUGHED at me. He actually LAUGHED at me. "Dude, no. Dr. Wilson's not an alien. He doesn't trip my alien radar at all. He's harmless and fun. What makes you think he's an alien?"

"My….My brain…" No, I can't tell Kevin. Kevin would tell Simon for sure. "I just….I have a feeling!"

"Leave the alien spotting to me, okay, Alvin? Now, I gotta go. Pamela and I are starting a new DND campaign." He hung up on me…just like everyone else. Even the expert on the subject thought I was full of baloney.

That left only Theo. My one hope. But, before I went to talk to Theo, I had one other thing to do. Returning to the bookshelf, I grabbed Simon's Quantum Mechanics book. I needed to know if I understood any more of this than yesterday.

And I DID! Not all of it, but a good chunk of it was now making sense to me. I'd climbed further up the genius ladder! I had the ability to increase my knowledge outside of school! That was AWESOME!….and equally horrifying.

I shoved the book back on the shelf. "Quantum Mechanics rules!" My brain said. "Screw regular mechanics!" Shush, brain. I need to think about how I'm gonna persuade Theo to help me.

I walked downstairs and found Theo in the living room watching a rerun of Cyberchase. It's a PBS kids show. I've never been into it before, but listening to it now I realized I could actually understand the math concepts they talked about. I was actually paying attention to the whole show instead of just the parts with the villain. He was funny. Such a character!

I wished I could have watched the whole thing, but I had a job to do. "Pssst! Theo!" I whispered. "I need to talk to you."

Theo turned off the TV. "Is it about that girl, Alvin?" He asked.

"No. No. Something bigger." I squeaked. "Follow me." Would it work? Would he follow?

Yes! Success! Theodore followed me outside to the backyard. "What's going on?"

"Earth shattering things that could change life as we know it." I told him, waving my arms in the air.

"Still convinced your new teacher is an alien, huh?" My younger bro asked.

"He is." I clasped my hands together. "No one else believes me! But I know you believe me, right? Best bro ever! You're my little buddy! We get in all sorts of hijinks together!"

"And in trouble." He pouted.

"Yes, yes, there is that." I admitted. "But we have to protect the planet! We're all in danger!"

"How do you know?" He walked around me. I knew he wasn't sure what had gotten into me, but he DID suspect it wasn't only the result of a crush.

I decided to come right out and tell him. He wasn't good at keeping secrets, so I hope he'd keep this one. It was the only way he'd believe me. "Let me put it this way, Teddy boy. My mind has been opened to vast and exciting new possibilities! It's scary, but exhilarating! I understand things like gravity, inertia, particles, and various other scientific phenomena. So, you know, I need someone to help me keep this, you know, under wraps. Turns out I am terrible at hiding it alone."

His jaw dropped. "Alvin, for a minute there….you sounded sorta like Simon." He rubbed his eyes in disbelief.

"I know." I sighed. And that comparison was exactly WHY I needed to hide this.

Theo's brown eyes blinked. "What's going on?"

I tapped my sore head with my finger. "It's simple, Theo. Doctor Wilson increased my intelligence with a brain fryer. I don't really remember the frying part, but I know I walked into his class not giving a dang about physics and walked out unable to stop being a brainiac….no matter how hard I try." I confessed. It felt great to finally let it all out!

My little bro gasped. "That's not good!"

"Tell me about it!" I leaned against the grill, which was luckily turned off. "Like, did you know that water flowing can be totally explained by physics? And skateboarding too!? I didn't know, I didn't want to know! Why do I know!?"

Theo was puzzled. "Are you sure you aren't just….excited?"

"My neurons shouldn't be this excited!" I covered my mouth. Where did THAT come from? "Oh no!" I gulped. "It's getting worse!"

He was as panicked as me now. Excellent. "What do we do?"

I raised a finger in the air. "We need to trap the alien!"

"I'll go get my duct tape!" He squeaked, turning to run into the house.

"Perfect! We'll create a device that can launch a web of duct tape and stick him to the wall. Brilliant thinking, Theo!" I exclaimed.

"Thanks…I think." Theo skipped around happily.

"Hmm. But even with my accelerated cognitive speed, I don't have time to build a duct tape launcher from scratch." I thought out loud. "Maybe we can borrow one of Simon's."

"Okay!" Theo looked more than happy. "But only cuz that teacher messed you up…and we have to put it back when we're done."

"Right. Yes. Absolutely." Oh, and there was one REALLY important thing I couldn't forget. "Oh, and don't tell Simon about my new brain. Please." I instructed. "For all I know, this is just temporary and as soon as the alien is defeated, I'll be back to my old, you know, doofus self."

He patted my shoulder as we descended the stairs to begin repurposing one of Simon's inventions. "I won't tell him 'til your ready." He promised.

Less than a few hours later, we had finished! It was all set! Now, we just had to take the launcher to the classroom, position it just so, and catch that ol science guy like a spider catches a fly. Tonight, while everyone was asleep, we would take it to the school.

Sure, we would have to get past Dr. Hayward's security system, but I had a plan for that already. We knew how to bypass it thanks to that one time Simon accidentally sent him a vent email and we had to erase it before he noticed. We failed that mission, but he wasn't too mad at Simon. I was certain we wouldn't fail this one. Because, if we did, then I was basically alien lunch…or they were gonna take me into space to become ambassador of the galaxy or something.

Following our usual dinner of salad and breadsticks, (Dave's tastes suck) I went upstairs to get ready for "bed." Theo followed my lead and did the same. Simon went to take a book off his bookshelf for his nightly reading. My blood felt like it dropped to 0 degrees celsius. (Not to be confused with degrees of angles) That is to say, my blood ran cold.

"Who touched my Quantum Mechanics book?" He turned his gaze to me and Theo.

"Not me!" I lied. Drat! I thought I put it back in the right place. No, wait, maybe I only did that the first time I read it. "Oh, no wait, I did use a book to swat a fly." I felt that sounded more believable.

He shoved the book back on the shelf and took the book next to it. "They're in alphabetical order. Please try and preserve the order next time, okay?" He said. "Or better yet, use a fly swatter. They're much more effective."

"Got it!" I said, crawling into bed and forcing a yawn.

Theo copied me. "We won't touch your books anymore, Simon." He swore. He hadn't touched them, but I appreciated him acting like it was something he'd do. It pushed the suspicion off me.

That night, once I was SURE Simon was asleep because he was rambling about magical talking panda bears, I crept out of bed and roused Theo awake too. "It's time." I whispered.

And we set off, out into the night. I carried the net launcher I had turned into a duct tape launcher (because nets are no match for aliens) close to my chest. I hugged it. I needed to protect it at all costs. Theo marched beside me with a green bandanna tied around his head. He was munching a granola bar. We were READY to kick some alien butt! Ohoho!

Chapter Text

I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME

Alvin's POV

"Alright, Theodore." I quietly spoke, even though there was no one around to catch us. "Commence operation: Extraterrestrial Expulsion."

He blinked at me as we stood in the hallway of the school, watching the laser beams move in a criss cross pattern across the floor. Break a beam, and we'd be caught. It was risky business!

"What word's tripping you up?" I inquired.

He sighed. "All of them except operation."

"Okay okay…" How to say it without sounding like a scholarly lad. "Start…uh….operation:….get that alien out of here!"

"Gotcha. Phew." He prepared himself for dancing through the lasers to reach the button that turns them off. "I'm ready!"

"Go go go! Hurry!" I said, looking at the time on my watch. 4:00am. We only had three hours before school started. I had wanted to leave home sooner, but I must have actually drifted to sleep while I pretended to sleep. Oops.

Theodore boogied his way through the lasers and I watched the pattern of the sweeping laser grid. Back, forth, side to side. I wonder if I could calculate how fast they were moving. Did laser beams have mass? Urgh! No! Focus! FOCUS!

My brother turned the beams off on the control panel and I slid across the polished floor to meet him. There was less friction here than on the floors at home. I felt like I was ice skating.

"Ohoho! Nice work, bro!" I high fived him with the hand that wasn't holding the duct tape launcher.

"Now what?" He asked.

"Now, I'm going to use this to trigger the mechanism on the door." I pulled down one of the bobby pins that kept my cap from falling off should I hang upside down.

"Can you cut it out with the smart talk?" Theo folded his arms.

I shook my head. "Sadly, no. I have attempted to hide it for two days and my self control regarding it has diminished."

"Alvinnn." He groaned.

"How do you think I feel about it?" I muttered. "All I wanted was psychic powers and now I'm practically Alvin Einstein for real!" I unlocked the door and re-attached the bobby pin to my cap.

"You do….want to go back to normal, don't you?" My baby bro whimpered as we entered the room. "If you can?"

IF I can. IF. Right. There was a possibility what had happened to me wasn't reversible. I didn't want to consider that, so I ignored the thought.

"Absolutely. Positively." I smiled at him, hoping to reassure him…and me…that everything would be okay.

"Where should we put the duct tape launcher?" Theodore looked around the empty classroom.

"Hmmm. I think we should put it…" I ran over to a spot close to the door. "Right here. That way, all he's gotta do is take one step inside and BAM! Captured! Ensnared! Trapped!"

"Like Spiderman catches bad guys!" Theo clapped his hands.

"Precisely!" Gosh, I sounded so much like Simon it terrified me. "Although he utilizes webs from his hands while all we have is this device."

Teachers had always been telling me to be more like Simon my whole life. To actually be like him now felt like a slap in the face to everything I stood for. This BETTER wear off.

Before I had time to think about that more, the window of the room started to slide open.

"Oh nooo." Theo hugged me in terror. "He's found us…and he's gonna….gonna…"

"Fry your brain too." I whispered.

"I hope not!" Theo cried. "I like my brains unfried!"

Then, the mysterious figure at the window climbed inside. He was a lot smaller than Dr. Wilson. Unless Dr. W was a size shifting alien. That's always a possibility.

"What are you guys doing!?" Wait a sec! He sounded like….Simon?

I turned my phone screen all the way up to full brightness and shined it at the intruder. "Simon!"

He came closer and crossed his arms. "I got a ping alert that someone had taken my net launcher outside of the house." He looked directly at me. "I wonder who the culprit is." His sarcasm made me pretty sure that he did not, in fact, wonder.

"We're trying to catch the alien." Theo piped up.

"Yeah. I'm well aware." He grumbled. "Where's my invention?" He asked, not seeing the small net launcher in the dark.

I feigned stupidly, which was brutal for me now. "I don't have your net launcher thingie."

"Yes you do." He was at the end of his patience, not that he had much. "Where is it?"

Theo pointed to the invention we had put on a shelf facing the door. "We're using it as a trap. Shhhh." He held a finger to his lips.

"No, you aren't." He growled. "Give it back and let's get out of here before we get in trouble!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Si. I'm totally right about the alien this time. Now, you have two choices." I poked his nose with my finger. "You can either hang with us and watch your genius invention capture this extraterrestrial beast. Orrrr, you can go home and Theo and I will get all the praise for proving once and for all that The Truth Is Out There!" I quoted my favorite show X Files.

Simon clenched his jaw and looked at Theo's excited face, then back to my confident and slightly freaked out face. His shoulders slumped. "I'm too tired for this." He admitted, joining Theo and I as we found a hiding spot.

"Trust him, Simon." Theo said encouragingly.

Simon sighed. "I'm only staying here to watch you make a fool of yourself." He said bitterly.

Ohoho! Little did he realize it was he who would be the fool! The trap was set! Now all we had to do was wait until Dr. Wilson showed up!

I must have still been tired, because I drifted off to sleep. I woke up to the sound of the launcher being activated. My eyes flew open and I nudged Simon and Theo awake from our spot under the desk.

The duct tape net launched at Dr. Wilson as he opened the door. He jumped forward and it missed him, sticking a web of duct tape to the wall. Oh no! There went our shot! We were all goners now!

To my surprise, my physics teacher burst out laughing. "Good one, you guys. Impressive work on the concept. Execution is just a tad sloppy." He closed the door and walked around the classroom. We were TRAPPED! "You can come out now, merry pranksters." He said calmly. "I don't bite."

Yeah! Sure! Like I believed that! He was acting weird and MUCH too friendly.

"Come on, kids. You're going to have to help me get the duct tape off the wall." He crouched down and spotted us under the desk. "Alvin?" His eyes widened at the sight of me.

I was suddenly filled with a surge of adrenaline. "You'll never take us alive, alien scum!" I ran out from under the desk and charged at Dr. Wilson. I dunno what I planned to do. I was a one and a half foot tall chipmunk and he towered over me like a skyscraper. I didn't stand a chance.

"Alvin, be careful!" Simon shouted.

"Ah, so that's what this is about." Dr. Wilson picked me up and sat me back on the ground, getting up on his desk. "I suppose I should explain."

Theo and Simon crept out from under the desks to stand next to me.

"Phew. Okay." Simon looked shaken up. "Tell my brother you aren't an alien and we can all get out of here."

"I can't do that." My teacher said with a twinkle in his eye.

My genius bro's face was white as a sheet. "W…Why not?"

He grinned. "Because I actually AM an alien." He revealed. Aha! Just as I suspected! Oh crap!

"YOU'RE WHAT!?" My brothers and I were scared spitless!

I knew my time had come. I had to use my enhanced brainpower to outsmart this guy and free us all. Alvin Seville to the rescue! "Boys, stay behind me!" I ordered as I pushed up my sleeves. "I'll take this guy down!"

Dr. Wilson ran behind his desk. Man, for a super advanced species, he sure was a fraidy cat. "Stop! Stop! Okay, I can see my joke didn't land. Let me explain for real…"

"So you aren't an alien?" Theodore scratched his head.

"Sometimes I feel like one." The man said.

I pointed my finger at him. "And you want to kidnap kids and take them into outer space with you!?" I accused.

He smiled sheepishly. "No! Not at all!" Then he explained in a way we could all understand. "I feel like an alien because I don't fit in. I didn't fit in my home country. I don't fit in here in California. I don't know if you boys have noticed, but I'm kind of an oddball."

I felt like a genius and a fool at the same time. "What?"

Dr. Wilson chuckled. "But I'm not actually from outer space, even though I like studying it."

"Ohhhh." I chuckled nervously. "See? I was half right!" I told Simon.

He glared at me from behind his round glasses. "You weren't right at ALL."

"Was so!" I argued, unwilling to admit defeat.

Simon shook his head. "No, you thought he was going to dissect your brain!"

Dr. Wilson laughed some more. "That's very out of my area of expertise."

Theo, being much more interested in other places on earth than me, decided to strike up a conversation with my teacher. "So what country are you from?"

"Greece." Oh! Hey! I knew where that was!

"No way!" I found myself in the idle chat too. "I performed in Greece once….a really really long time ago."

Simon yawned. "So will the two of you finally put that alien business to rest?" He asked.

Theo and I exchanged glances. "Yeah…we will." We said. I could tell Theo was thinking the same thing I was. If my brain hadn't been boosted by alien tech, what had actually happened to me?

We all chatted a bit longer with my kooky teacher while we peeled away the duct tape. I really was having fun with him. He was an extremely cool guy.

Then, Simon had to go hang out and de-stress himself in the library and Theo wanted to go get breakfast in the cafeteria, since he was here early. I also found out Simon had texted Dave to tell him EVERYTHING and I was totally grounded. Typical.

With just me and my non-space alien teacher left in the room, I could finally ask him the hard hitting questions I was dying to know.

"What did you do to me? Why do I know all this stuff now?" I had tears in my eyes. "I hate science. I'm supposed to hate science. And somehow you brainwashed me."

"All I did was give you the information in a way that was easy to comprehend." He explained. "I didn't need a fancy gadget to change the way you think. The ability to learn was inside you all along." He looked sympathetic. "I take it this is the first time you've ever really enjoyed a subject. What you've been experiencing, Alvin, plain and simple, is what learning FEELS like."

"No way." I blinked. "So this is what kids who manage to pass classes feel like?"

"On a very intensified scale, yes." He decided I still wasn't getting it. So he kept talking. "You're a very selective learner. If a subject doesn't immediately grab your attention, you think it isn't worth your time. But, if something does speak to you, you give it 100% effort. In simple terminology, I made physics one of those things, by connecting it to other things that I know kids love. That's my teaching style."

"That….actually makes sense." This guy knew me too well. I was a little creeped. I still liked him because it was clear he liked me and thought I had potential, but I was very unsettled.

"So, if we're using brain frying as an analogy for being enlightened here. You have essentially fried your own brain." He finished. "And yes, I have read that book too." Another wink. Wait! He read the my Teacher Is An Alien series!? Cool! Something else fun to talk with him about!

"I fried my own brain?" I repeated in disbelief.

He nodded. "Yes. Very much so."

"Great. Cool." I scrunched up my nose. "How do I un-fry it?"

Now it was his turn to look confused. "...You can't."

THAT'S WHAT I WAS AFRAID OF! I couldn't go on like this the rest of my life! It might be a cool party trick, but this wasn't an Alvin-y thing to be into. "But I have to!"

He frowned and stood up from his desk. "It's not easy to unlearn something you enjoyed learning."

"You underestimate me, dude." I replied. "I've been unlearning lessons my entire life. I forgot physics before. I can forget it again." I meant that! I was gonna un-fry my brain! As soon as I learned how. There's gotta be a way!

"Theoretically, perhaps. If you wanted to." He smirked at me. "But you don't WANT to, do you, Alvin?"

"You bet I...d...d...don't?" I meant to say Do! What was wrong with me? "Urgh! Stop messing with my head! Look, great talkin' with ya, but I need some fresh air!" And I vowed not to think about the physics of air and wind resistance. Drat!

He opened the door and led me out into the hall. "Very well. I will still be seeing you after school today, won't I?" He seemed sad that I wanted to forget about liking science.

I forced a smile to make him less sad. "Wouldn't miss it for the world." And there was truth to that statement.

After another crazy school day and another dose of my new physics addiction, (which still felt very artificial to me) I returned home. What my new teacher had explained was starting to become clearer the more I thought about it. Could I be actually and WILLINGLY interested in physics now? Was it just part of who I was? The weird feelings in my head were just my synapses tingling at the thought of studying something that APPEALED to me?

Reading glasses on again, I grabbed the physics for dummies book and flipped through it. I wanted to test something. And sure enough, there it was again! Those same feelings! I LIKED learning. I LIKED science. I needed to come to terms with it. How was I ever going to come to terms with it?

Zap! Idea! I could sing my feelings! That would help me! I was sure of it! And I knew the perfect 80s song to use! REO Speedwagon, baby! Speed equals distance over time!

Music app: on. Music: playing. Me: singing along. I was still wearing the glasses and I didn't care. I danced around my room, soulfully belting out notes while simultaneously thinking about the physics concepts that allowed me to hit those notes. I was having the time of my life!

"I can't fight this feeling any longer

And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow

What started out as friendship has grown stronger

I only wish I had the strength to let it show”

I looked down at the book in my hands and then set it beside me. I slid off the bed and began to dance slowly toward the window, keeping my movements perfectly timed to the music.

“I tell myself that I can't hold out forever

I said there is no reason for my fear

'Cause I feel so secure when we're together

You give my life direction, you make everything so clear”

I glanced at Simon’s bookshelf, full of curiosity provoking sciency stuff to read. Then I smiled and continued my dance. I hugged myself as I accepted that I was now bound to physics for eternity. I swear I could even imagine the equations  written on my bedroom window!

“And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight

You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night

And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might”

I kept slowly swaying and basically half-pacing and half-dancing around the room. I made it back to the window and didn’t fight the urge to bring all those equations I was imagining into reality. The glass was covered with a slight condensation that allowed me to write the equations on it with my finger. 

“And I can't fight this feeling anymore

I've forgotten what I started fighting for

It's time to bring this ship into the shore

And throw away the oars, forever”

Happy with my work, I ran back across the room and jumped onto my bed. I belted out the chorus, head tilted back and heart aflutter with my new obsession. I picked up the physics book and hugged it tight to my chest. 

“‘Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore

I've forgotten what I started fighting for

And if I have to crawl upon the floor, come crashing through your door

Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore”

I dropped the book back on the bed and was off again, twirling around the room and freestyling my little heart out! I fell to my knees and spread my arms wide. Then, I got back up and ran to my mini desk, leaping on top of it. 

“My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you

I've been running 'round in circles in my mind

And it always seems that I'm following you, oh

'Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find”

I thought about the presentation slides, embedded in my brain. Thought of myself sitting in Dr. Wilson’s class looking totally focused and ready to learn. I danced in a circle around the rug in the room. I remembered myself scampering after Dr. Wilson at that lesson he held in the skatepark. Then, I imagined myself surrounded by the different presentation slides. They circled me like a whirlwind.

“And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight

You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night

And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might”

Seconds later, I was back in reality, looking at the equations I’d drawn on the window. I reached out to touch them, and then wipe them away, before Simon or Dave could see them. I still wasn’t ready for them to know yet. One step at a time, for this budding genius. 

“And I can't fight this feeling anymore

I've forgotten what I started fighting for

It's time to bring this ship into the shore

And throw away the oars, forever”

I ran back to jump on my bed again, I sang with power and conviction! I placed my hand over my heart momentarily and then jumped over to Simon’s bed to dance on it too.

“‘Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore

I've forgotten what I started fighting for

And if I have to crawl upon the floor, come crashing through your door

Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore!"

I jumped back to my own bed, and then to Theodore’s. I was having a TON of fun. I didn’t even care that I hadn’t taken my reading glasses off when I noticed they were still on my face. I crashed back onto my own bed and grabbed my beloved physics book again. I stared at the cover and smiled wider than ever. Then, I placed it near my pillow and stood up again to deliver the final lyrics.

No, I couldn't fight it. I had run out of strength to fight it. I liked, no LOVED, physics. And I couldn't just keep it a secret from everyone! Telling Theo was such a weight off me! I had to tell someone else! But who? Not Britt! She would go BALLISTIC! Not Simon, he would say "I told you so." Not Dave, nooo, Dave would suddenly expect me to be a straight A student or something. Eleanor? Somehow I doubt she'd care. Kevin? Nah. He'd think I'd been infected by an alien for sure, especially after the phone call from yesterday. I guess I didn't have anyone else to tell. Nope. Nobody. What a shame.

Anyway, that's when Dave and my brothers walked into the room. They'd overheard the whole song. Wha oh. How could I explain this?

Nevermind. They explained it for me. "I take it you're singing about that girl whose name we still don't know." Simon remarked, leaning against the doorframe.

"Oh yeah." I forced a smile that felt dorky as I stood on my bed. "It was about her."

"It sounded great, Alvin." Dave complimented me. "So when are we going to meet this girl?"

"I dunno." I shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "I probably should learn her name first. But I'm not even sure she likes me."

"Don't come on too strong." Theodore advised. "Girls don't like it when you do that." Ha! Yeah! I was aware.

I noticed the Physics For Dummies book still on the bed. Distracting my family with more small talk, I used my foot to shove it under my pillow discreetly. "Thanks, Theo. Great advice."

"And if she doesn't like you back, then it wasn't meant to be." Dave reminded me. "But that doesn't make you unlovable."

I rolled my eyes. "I know." If ya think that, dad, maybe stop treating me like I'm unlovable. Because that's how your parenting makes me feel….most of the time.

Suddenly, I got another idea. Talking about this fake girl I made up made me realize there was a real girl who I could share my woes with. Jeanette! Now if only they'd leave me alone so I could get to the treehouse.

"Dave, I think we're bothering him." THEO, YOU SAVIOR! "He probably just wants to rest. It was a long day."

"Ah, okay. Get some rest." Dave tucked me into bed. "Oh, and Alvin…"

"Yes, Dave?" I asked, trying to look like an innocent kid.

He frowned sternly. "No more wild alien stories."

"Sorry about that. Again." I closed my eyes and hoped they'd all leave the room.

Success! Once they were gone, I hid the physics book in my nightstand and then ziplined across to the Chipettes bedroom. Fingers crossed that only Jeanette was there. Otherwise, I was gonna have to figure out how to get her alone.

Fortuitous occurrence! She was alone! Her sisters were downstairs watching a horror movie.

"Hi, Alvin." She greeted me shyly.

I plopped onto Britt's bed on my stomach. "Hey, Jeanette. Can we talk?"

Her head gave the tiniest and most adorable of nods. "I think so. I have a bit of time. What's on your mind?"

"Ha!" I rolled over onto my back to stare at the ceiling. "The better question is what ISN'T on my mind?" I still wasn't used to thinking about how connected everything is to my new academic subject crush.

"I'm confused." She came over to lay next to me.

"So, uh, I'm just gonna rip off the bandaid immediately before I change my mind." I took a deep breath. "I I…I like science now. Mostly physics. No, wait, like isn't a strong enough word." How do I tell her? Okay, starting over. "Ya see, I bought a physics book online. Not for school or anything, just cuz I wanted to. I'm obsessed with it. Every little bit I learn makes me want to learn even more."

She sat up. "That's wonderful, Alvin!" Her eyes gleamed.

"NO IT'S NOT! It's HORRIBLE!" I sat up too.

She tilted her head. "Huh? Why?"

I got up from the bed and started to pace and swing my arms about. "Because I'm getting SMARTER, Jeanette. A lot smarter. Scary smart, you know, dare I say it, almost Simon level smart."

"And you think that's a bad thing?" She sounded surprised. How was this a surprise? Anyone who knows me could anticipate this.

"Well, it's certainly not good!" I fumed. "If anyone finds out, life as I know it is OVER!"

She facepalmed. "I thought you wanted to unlock your full potential. Those were your exact words."

"I DIDN'T THINK I HAD THIS MUCH POTENTIAL! I hate it! I want my old brain back. Please….please tell me there's a way to….I dunno….delete all this physics stuff from my head! Dr. Wilson says there's no way, but there's gotta be SOMETHING!" I was loud, but not loud enough that the Chipettes downstairs would overhear.

"Alvin, it's okay to be smarter. Learning new things is part of life. You're just growing up a bit, maturing." She fidgeted with the bow hanging down from her bun.

I covered my ears. Wow! Telling someone had pushed me back into denial mode. "La la la la! No I'm not! I'm being controlled by someone or something. I don't know what….but I am going to get to the bottom of it."

"You are acting ridiculous." She told me bluntly. "If you want my opinion, a fascination with physics is the least of your problems. You really should work on that paranoia."

Snap out of it! "I know. I know." I frowned, and then smiled. "You were right, by the way. The universe really has way more beauty than I gave it credit for."

She hugged me. "It does! Oh my gosh! And there's so much more to learn outside of physics too!"

I hugged her and then took a step back. "Whoah, whoah. Not too much, not too fast." And don't tell anyone about this! Please! Please! If they find out I'm turning into a total nerd, they're gonna pick on me….and hate me…..worse than they did when I got glasses." Derek and his goons would clobber me. My chance of ever being popular again would be SUNK.

"Your secret is safe with me." The Chipette in purple sighed. "But you won't be able to hide it forever."

"Watch me!" I challenged. "And thanks."

"You're welcome." She squeaked. "Is that all you need?"

I nodded. "Uh huh. Now, I'm going to google ways to prevent nerdiness." I told her. "I'll let you know what I find out, you know, in case you get tired of being a brainiac someday." And with that, I was out the window, but not before she facepalmed again. She just didn't understand how much I needed this to stay between me, her, and Theo.

The next day, I decided I needed practice controlling my expanding intellectual tangents. In other words, I needed to turn the physics stuff down. Not off, because that wasn't possible…and I accepted that. But most people didn't think about physics every waking minute, so there MUST be a way to combat the urge.

I decided to join Britt for a game of tennis. Eleanor was coaching us. I wanted to train myself to focus on the game itself and let the physics in my head take a backseat for a while. It felt like it would work, but it was not going as well as I wanted it to.

"Fifteen, love." Eleanor announced. That meant Britt's ball had landed on the ground within bounds on my side of our mini tennis court in the backyard.

"Haha! Yes!" Brittany boasted. "Your serve, Seville."

I served the ball to her. She hit it back and I was about to connect my racket with the ball when SUDDENLY, well, you get the idea.

"When two moving bodies collide, like the racket and ball, a certain quantity of kinetic energy is released. It is determined by their mass and speed. The ball dissipates around 45% of its elastic energy when it collides with the strings." Nohoho! Because of the sudden brain blast, I missed the swing.

"30, love." Came Eleanor's irritating voice. This being tennis. Love meant 0. A big fat goose egg.

Physics wasn't making me better at sports as I predicted. It was making me WORSE! Focus! Concentrate! I'll have plenty of time to geek out after I wipe the floor with Britt's stupid face.

"Off your game today, Alvin?" She taunted.

"I'm just warming up." I retorted.

Breathe. Focus. I locked my eyes onto the ball as Britt served it toward me. "Don't think, feel. Let your reflexes do their thing." I murmured out loud.

WHACK! The racket actually connected with the ball and sent it soaring over the net and….right into Brittany's head. Oops.

"Owwww!" Brittany wailed. "You did that on purpose!"

Eleanor laughed so hard she fell off the chair she'd been sitting on as she coached us. "Comedy gold." She looked at me and teased. "At least it went over the net that time."

"I'll get you some ice." I said to Brittany. "And it was an accident, I swear."

"30 to 15." Eleanor said, when we were both ready to start again.

Brittany had a cold pack taped to her forehead. "If I wind up with a giant welt on my head, I'm going to kill you." The Chipette in pink threatened.

I didn't answer her. I turned half my brain off. I was going to prove I was still good at sports. I had to prove it to myself…in order to feel like me.

SMACK! WHACK! SMACK! WHACK! Britt and I hit the ball back and forth over the net, running around and preventing the ball from hitting the ground. OHOHO! I WAS BACK, BABY!

Eventually, Britt missed and the ball landed behind her.

"30-30! Next point wins!" Eleanor shouted.

"You're going down." Brittany faced me with a determined expression.

I matched it and smirked in a cocky way. "That's what you think!"

WHACK! SMACK! WHACK! SMACK! WHACK!

"Force equals mass times acceleration." GET OUT! NOT NOW!

I gave the ball another powerful smack and Brittany raced to intercept it. She was….too slow! I WON!

"40 points for Alvin! We have a winner!" Eleanor congratulated me.

"This is so not fair!" Brittany threw her racket down and stomped her foot.

I twirled my racket in my hands. "Wanna play again?" I was thrilled my sports ability wasn't totally screwed up forever.

"Yes." Brittany clenched her teeth and we both took our stances.

Yeah, my week had been something I never expected. I had a lot to process and come to terms with. Jeanette was correct. I couldn't keep making excuses and hiding this new me forever. Someday, I would have to face my fear and reveal it to everyone.

But first I would have to continue to practice controlling the thoughts and using them to my advantage. I couldn't let them overtake me. I wouldn't. I would continue to research and learn things too. Maybe I'd even dive into math more because I'd been doing so much of it in physics class.

Speaking of the physics class, I was gonna stay in there for the long haul. No transferring out. Because it was one of the best experiences of my life. I could admit that to myself now with sincerity. I didn't know exactly what would follow all this, but that song about aliens sure was right about something.

I KNOW I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME.

Alvin and his new friend who is also his teacher! I finally drew up the design for Dr. Wilson!

Chapter Text

RAPIDLY EXPANDING INTELLECT

Genius Alvin's POV

I'm back with yet another tale! As a recap, when we last left off, I had just discovered that I love studying physics. I told Theo and Jeanette about it, cuz I couldn't just keep it inside until the pressure built up too high and caused me to meltdown. No one else knows. Not yet.

I've spent another couple weeks in Dr. Wilson's extracurricular physics class and told everyone that I am taking music appreciation instead. I don't think they suspect anything. I've been doing my best to behave as normal.

IT IS HARD, let me tell you. I've had so many opportunities to tell Simon and Eleanor and Dave and Britt and even Miss. Smith. Gosh, I wanna tell Miss. Smith soooo bad! She was always yammering on and on about me having potential. Who knew I actually had it?

But anxiety and fear of change keeps me from shouting it from the rooftops. I'm like a secret agent! Basically like Lorenzo Lorenzo from that movie I watched. Oh, and I have started referring to myself as Genius Alvin, in my head at least. I gotta differentiate the new me from the old me somehow.

It's getting harder and harder to act like the old me. People will say things and my first impulse has started always coming from my new nerdy side. I was really scared of that, at first, but I'm getting better at stopping to think about what I would have said before my mind got all genius-ified.

Moving on…Our story begins with me, chatting with my family in the hallway on another ordinary (or extraordinary for me) school day.

Brittany was once again bothering me about the same thing she'd be incessant about for ages. "Are you ready to get your popularity back yet?"

I felt my facial muscles tense. "I told you to stop asking. I'll be ready when I'm ready." I didn't tell her I'm actually really enjoying the break.

She pouted. "But Alvie, I have a whole 20 step plan set up. It'll work, I promise." She patted my shoulder. "I know you're only stalling because you're afraid that it won't work."

"Leave him alone, Brittany." Jeanette spoke up softly. She took her dark purple hoodie from her locker and slipped it over her lighter purple plaid shirt.

Brittany ignored her and continued to bother me, as Brittany tends to do. "Come on, Alvin. I know you're lonely and sad. Status means the world to you."

"Yeah it does." I said honestly. "I'm just not ready yet."

Theo looked at me and then to Britt. He was munching a bag of dill pickle flavored chips. "There's a lot more to life than being popular." Ha! Says the original winner of the Cutest Chipmunk contest. I should have been victorious!

Like I said, Theo's the baby. Simon's the nerd. I'm the cute one! My stomach flip flopped a little. But now Simon wasn't the only nerd. Wait, unless, was it possible to be nerdy and NOT be a nerd? I'll have to research that. I'm quite fond of research now.

"Alvin,…" Brittany walked even closer to me until she was practically close enough to kiss me. Not that I wanted her to. "You've always been able to bounce back. You get knocked down and you get up again. That's your thing!"

I sighed and grabbed my black backpack with a skull and guitars on it. "But…what if this is the one time….I don't?" I asked.

"Maybe he wants a new thing." Theodore squeaked. CAREFUL, THEO! Keep my secret!

Eleanor pulled Britt away from me, noticing she was making me uncomfortable and jittery. "Stop hounding him!"

"You need to give him time." Jeanette blinked those midnight eyes of hers. They sparkled like the depths of space. Oh goody! Now I was thinking about traveling through space at the speed of light.

"300,000 kilometers per second. Also particles of light are called photons." My new brain informed me, even though I didn't ask. Sigh.

Brittany stomped her foot impatiently. "How much time?"

Everyone, including me, shrugged. Even Simon shrugged.

I wasn't sure that Simon even was paying attention to our conversation. He certainly seemed lost in his own thoughts. I wondered if he constantly had physics facts on his mind too. If only I could bring myself to reveal the magnificent thing that's happened to me. Maybe he was the key to learning to control my genius better!

"He's gotta get it back soon." The Chipette in pink continued to rant as we walked into our next class. "If he waits too long, he'll never be popular again! Ever! His life will be ruined."

"Who needs popularity?" My brain asked. I jolted like I'd been shocked with 2,000 voltz of electricity. Where did THAT THOUGHT come from!? I definitely didn't agree with that. Being popular was essential!

"I need popularity." I thought back. "Just not yet."

"Do you though? Do you really?" It asked. I mean, I asked myself. Gosh, I was so conflicted.

"Alvin, did you hear what I said?" Brittany asked. "Because it was IMPORTANT to know."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm so awesome I could wait until the end of this semester to get my popularity back and they'd let me." I bragged. I didn't know if that was true or not. But, it is what the old me would have said…I think.

We took our seats and Simon put his head on his desk. "What's got you all depressed?" I asked him quietly. "We're having a quiz today. You love quizzes." Which I knew because he was my brother…and because I was developing an insatiable love for quizzes too. Well, math and science ones, but hey, it's a start!

"It's nothing, Alvin." He murmured. Yeah, that was baloney. He was upset about something.

"Was it something I did?" I asked, nervously tapping my fingers on the desk. I was excited for the math pop quiz. Half of me was internally barfing at the thought. The other half of me was ready to unleash my superior math skills all over it!

He shook his head silently.

I frowned. "Are you sure? Because if I did anything to hurt ya, it was not my intention." Wait, was this a stupid thing to say? It didn't sound like the old me. He would have been satisfied with the head shake. But here I was, compelled to know more about what was bothering Simon.

"ACHOOO!" A sneeze from Jeanette distracted me. That was odd. It wasn't even allergy season.

"Gesundheit." I responded automatically. I know that word from TV.

Brittany stared at me oddly. What was so odd about me being nice to Jeanette? I was always nice to Jeanette. She was almost the only person I was nice to. Ya just can't be mean to her. Look at that sweet face.

Oh! I suddenly realized why Britt was staring. It was the word I said. She probably didn't know what it meant. Ya see, with my newly expanded intellect I had quickly learned two things. One: Brittany had an intense dislike of learning things unrelated to girl stuff. (But she got good grades) And two: Brittany Jewel Miller was dumb as a post.

I feel bad saying that. Maybe she's smarter than I give her credit for, but she's certainly no genius. The only one dumber than her is Theo. I also feel bad saying that. Ah, Theo may be dumb, but he has these really weird moments of sudden wisdom that make up for it.

"Simon, do you want a cookie? Cookies always make me feel better." My smaller bro in green held out an oatmeal cookie.

Simon took the cookie, broke off a small piece, and then returned it to Theo. He nibbled the small piece as Miss. Smith began the lesson. Yeah. Something was wrong with Si for sure.

I opened up my math book and paid attention the best I could. It was hard because my mind was wandering. It usually does this at the worst possible times. Whyyyyy!?

"I wonder what Dr. Wilson will teach us today!" I thought gleefully. "Maybe something about atoms? Maybe how to create rock candy? Maybe we'd be calculating stuff and getting rewarded with gummy candy! He did that sometimes! It was INCREDIBLE!

"….and that's how you calculate the circumference of a circle. Any questions?" Miss. Smith said.

Crud! How much of the lesson had I missed? I had no way of knowing. I tapped my foot impatiently. This was getting boring again…and if it got too boring, I was gonna lose myself in another spiral of thinking about my new crush on physics.

"Moving on. The radius is…" Miss. Smith continued to teach stuff I already knew because I had plugged music into my head and studied it like a fiend! I was too smart for this class! I was suddenly really good with numbers. Especially ratios! Ratios were fun! Statistics was pretty fun too!

Music does something to me. It's hard to explain. It shifts something inside me and turns on my focus. I learned that back when I was trying to win the Most Improved Award. Me plus music equals intense and unbreakable concentration. I should probably jot that equation down somewhere, lest I forget.

"….and there are a lot of other geometry concepts you need to know."

I rolled my eyes. Yeah. I knew them. Sine, Cosine, Tangent, Area, Perimeter. I wished she would talk about angles. I really like angles. Right angles, obtuse angles, acute angles. But we haven't covered those yet…I don't think. I learned them from Dr. Wilson. They're part of physics. Well, uh, everything is part of physics but they're a REALLY IMPORTANT part of physics.

Finally, I could take the boredom no longer. I made a cardinal mistake. My mouth moved before my thoughts could tell it that it had a bad idea. "Can we please just take the quiz already?"

Awkward silence. Miss. Smith stared at me. Brittany stared at me. Simon was in too much of a funk to notice. Theodore gulped. Jeanette looked proud of me.

My teacher raised a grey eyebrow and put her hands on her hips. "Since when are you ready to take quizzes?"

I felt myself get sweatier by the second. "Uh, well,…" I needed an excuse and fast. What would I normally say? "I just wanna get out of here and to gym class." Ohoho! Nailed it!

"Then don't interrupt my lesson!" She scolded me.

"Sorry! Sorry!" I went back to being bored.

Eventually, Miss. Smith passed the quizzes out. I twirled my pencil as I made the calculations in my head. I was really loving calculations. I finally understood how useful they can be! I was slowly, maybe not so slowly, turning into a Simon kinda guy, and I was….enjoying it. It was unsettling.

I finished the quiz and turned it in discreetly. I didn't want anyone to know I'd finished before most of the class, when usually I'm the last one finished. Even more disturbing was that I finished only slightly after Jeanette and Simon. I guess if I hadn't already had tons of proof I was inching closer and closer to their level of intellect, that would have sealed the deal.

Class ended and we walked back into the hall for a break between classes.

"Hey, Jeanette." Simon looked at the Chipette in purple. "Are you free tonight?"

She shook her head. "Unfortunately, no. I'm going to be very busy with a…commitment to another friend. ACHOOO!" It's me. I'm the other friend. We had plans.

"I see. What about next Saturday?" His blue eyes shined with a glimmer of hope. "Does that work for you?"

"I…uh…ACHOOO!" She sneezed into her elbow. "I don't know if I can plan something that far ahead." She squeaked as Theo handed her some tissues.

"You really should get that cold checked out." Brittany told her taller sis. "Before you make the rest of us sick."

"It's just…" She blew her nose. "Just allergies." I had a sinking feeling that Jeanette's sudden allergy attacks were connected to her hiding my genius from everyone. It was taking an immense toll on her. And there comes the guilt.

"If you say so." Brittany moved as far away from Jeanette as she could.

Simon walked slowly, more slowly than usual. "So, would anyone else be up to doing something after school today? The Mathletes don't meet today and neither does Chess club. I'm free."

When he said that, I suddenly wondered if I could join the Mathletes. Kevin and Cheesy were there. They were pals of mine. Plus, I was good at math now! (Get it? Plus! Math! Adding! Haha) Si would have to let me in. I wasn't as interested in chess. In fact, I sorta hated playing chess with anyone who wasn't Jeanette. Mainly because the others would make snide comments to me the whole time. Especially Simon. He was a king of Snark-casm!

There was that barfy feeling again. I was sick to my stomach over the uncontrollable thought. Me? Alvin a Mathlete? That's impossible! Totally unprecedented!

"Alvin's not." Theo said in his cute and babyish tone. "He's pretty busy."

"Yeah." I crossed my arms and smirked my trademark smirk. "Got a soccer match and then off to play some videogames."

"Don't forget to do your homework." Eleanor teased. Yeah, that was the LAST thing I'd forget. The nerdy feelings about physics were spreading. I was actually excited to work on all the science and math homework and see how much I remembered. WHO WAS I!?

"Homework is dumb." I lied, now understanding and appreciating its purpose, even if it was boring a lot of times. "Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge." An amusing acronym.

"Guess Most Improved Alvin isn't sticking around after all." Brittany teased.

I resisted the urge to laugh bitterly. If only she knew. I'd passed Most Improved and shot right to Could Easily Take A College Level Course and PASS! Ooookay, so that was a big exaggeration. I wasn't THAT smart. I FELT that smart though.

The strawberry blonde girl in pink looked very puzzled by my lack of a response to that. She continued talking. "That's a good thing though. It would be harder to regain your status if people still saw you as the Most Improved geekazoid guy."

"I'm not a geekazoid!" I said reflexively, wondering if that was true or a lie. I didn't know anymore.

"I know." She wrapped an arm around me as we walked down the hall to gym class. "And I want to keep it that way." Keep wanting, girl. It don't matter.

Simon looked fed up. "Again, I reiterate because barely anyone is listening to me." He muttered. "Is anyone free after school today? Eleanor?"

"Nope. Soccer." She replied quickly and curtly.

"I just HAVE to update my blog. Oh, and I'm invited to a party at Anita's." Britt informed him.

I got stabbed by a sudden wave of jealousy. How come she got to party with the most popular girl in school while I was stuck hanging out with Jeanette and doing my homework? It wasn't fair. I should have been invited. I would have been if my popularity hadn't been washed away like a sand castle facing a tidal wave on the beach.

"Tidal forces are changes in the gravitational potential energy of the Sun, Moon and Earth. These forces cause the periodic motion of the seas which create a temporary change in water levels that vary depending on location." Not again! I needed to focus on gym class now. I think it's getting worse.

"I'm free." Theodore smiled at Simon happily. "We can play a game of Candyland!"

Simon rolled his eyes. "Ah yes. Nothing more mentally stimulating than a game completely dependent on the luck of the draw."

"Is that a yes or a no?" My non-academically inclined (I like that better than dumb) brother said.

"It's a no." I answered impulsively. Wait! No! Shoot! That implied I understood Simon's wordy way of saying it. "….I think." Obfuscating stupidity was tough, but I NEEDED it to become a talent of mine.

"Why not?" Theo asked, as we all walked into the gym lockeroom, splitting away from the Chipettes to change clothes.

"Cuz it's not mentally stimulating. That's what he said." I repeated to Theo. "It doesn't make his brain go Brrrrr!" I imitated the sound of a car ignition starting up.

"What things do make his brain go brrrrrr?" Theo changed into his green T shirt with an ice cream cone on it that said Ice Cream Dreams. It was the name of a song he wrote.

"That would be a question for Simon." I changed into my gym shirt which was a red T shirt with a yellow A and cyan trim around the collar and sleeves. It was a really nice shirt. Sometimes, lately, I've even started wearing it outside gym class.

"Well…." Simon didn't like being put on the spot like that. He slipped on a solid blue T shirt with an atom on it. I used to think that design looked like a weird flower with bugs on it. Now, I was fully aware of what it represented. "There's a lot of things that do, but I am afraid none of them would be suitable for us both."

"Oh…" Theo looked sad. "Okay."

Simon walked out of the lockeroom and Theo motioned for me to follow him to the corner of the room. I wondered what this was all about.

"Are you handling…you know….the thing?" He asked.

I bit my lip. "It's harder than I thought. The urge to show off is nearly irrepressible."

"Did you figure out how you turned smart yet?" His brown eyes stared up at me.

I didn't know how to answer that. I guess I hadn't. I know what Dr. Wilson said, but part of me still can't fully trust that my genius is all naturally occurring. It feels supernatural. It's as if I have been given a superpower and a secret identity. I'm kinda like Clark Kent Alvin now. While Genius Me is Superman! Yeah! That explains it.

"I'm examining the possibilities, but I haven't drawn any solid conclusions yet. Maybe even though Dr. W isn't a space alien, there's an alien up in space priming me for an experiment. They could be sending out signals that travel at the speed of light and with each signal they send, I learn more and more and faster and faster. With my new brain, I would make one heck of a psychological experiment." I theorized.

Theo blinked. I realized I had no idea how much of that he understood. "Right. Yeah. That's possible."

"Have you got any theories?" I inquired. Ya can't spell theory without Theo. Maybe he knew the answer! Maybe this would be one of his burst of wisdom moments! Ohoho!

"I have one." He grimaced as if saying it hurt him. "Don't hate me for this, but maybe your Simon genes kicked in now that you're older?"

I tried not to get embarrassed. Simon and I were brothers. We did share the same gene pool. I knew that because he was always going on and on about how he couldn't believe we shared the same gene pool.

"Do genes work that way?" I adjusted my cap, looking over my shoulder briefly to make sure no one overheard me and Teddy boy.

Theo shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe."

The gears in my head started to spin. What did I know about genes? Not much. "I'm not sure how they work either. We didn't study genes in physics class."

Theo looked at the locker room door. "Do you think Simon would know?"

"He's gotta! Unless sucking at genetics is hereditary." I laughed. I wasn't even aware of just how funny that statement was until I learned more.

Theodore fidgeted with his hands in front of him. "Should we ask Simon?"

I frowned. Bad idea, Theo. "How are we supposed to do that without him finding out about me?"

He put his hands behind his back and rocked back and forth on his feet. "Well…we….we tell him, Alvin. It's been a month."

My entire body tensed. Nervous system overdrive. "I don't think I'm ready yet."

"You have to do it soon." My bro insisted. "He's been so sad lately."

I shook my head. "This would make him mad instead of sad. Or sadder! You remember how bummed he was when he thought I beat his IQ score?" Oooh! I wonder if my IQ had improved with the rest of me! I'll have to give that online test another go.

"Hmmm." Theo rubbed his chin for a brief moment. "Yeah. Okay. Don't say anything." Phew!

"Class is about to start!" Simon opened the door to the locker room, startling us. We both jumped. "What's taking you so long?"

"N…N…Nothing." I stammered. "Nothin' at all."

I left the locker room with my brothers. It was time to play some sports! I still LOVED sports! Sports have so much physics in them too. Urgh, come on, brain. Stooooop! Please! Why was my mind so oversaturated with knowledge!? It better not hinder my ability to play volleyball or soccer.

Getting through gym class was difficult. I still knew how to play sports, but I was distracted left and right by noticing physics principles at play. Nevertheless, I persisted on and on. I managed to compensate pretty splendidly for the constant distraction. Urgh! Can I quit being so wordy!?

I got through the rest of the classes as I eagerly waited for it to be time to attend my new favorite extracurricular. In Miss. Smith's science class, I studied the periodic table. I had no idea if that was part of her lesson or not, but it was something I felt like doing. I gotta brush up on my elements.

After that, I had writing class. I wrote a poem about my feelings. I didn't give away any of the juicy details. All I did was write out the way I felt in that exact moment…about how I was losing it because I suddenly like school stuff. Well, I didn't mention the school stuff. I just wrote that I was losing it.

I really needed that talk with Jeanette that we scheduled for this evening. I had so much I wanted to say to her! But before I could get to her, physics class was next.

And it was awesome as usual. I learned so much. Dr. Wilson really understood me! I've never felt like I had a teacher understand me before. He was funny, he was witty, and he came up with the best ideas. Like PHYSICS JEOPARDY! I was almost the reigning champion, but one of my other classmates beat me by 3 points! Bummer. Still, Dr. Wilson gave me gummy worms as a participation prize.

Following my nerd out session, I had to meet up with Eleanor for soccer practice. I found myself calculating the speed at which the ball was rolling after being kicked. Then I calculated the angle of incidence and the angle of reflection. And then, I tripped over a soccer ball because I started thinking about my whole "am I a full nerd or just a bit nerdy?" dilemma AGAIN.

"Watch out, Alvin." The Chipette in the mint striped shirt and teal green skirt said, sounding a bit miffed.

I groaned. "I was watching." At least, I thought I was!

She picked up the soccer ball and twirled it on her finger. "Still off your game? You've been fumbling a lot lately."

"I'm just….going through things." I stepped back from her, feeling nervous and weird and all flip floppy.

She sat down in the grass and motioned for me to do the same. "This about Britt trying to force you to be popular again so soon?"

I stayed standing. "Yeah. Kinda." I said. "It's not that I don't want it back ever. I just wanted a tiny break. I'm not ready for break time to be up. Is she right though? What if I wait too long and turn into someone I hate being?" Like a total DWEEBUS!

Eleanor rolled her apple green eyes. "Don't let my sister get in your head." She advised me. "She doesn't know what she's talking about half the time."

"Alright. I'll ignore her as well as I can." The alarm on my phone buzzed. It was time to go meet up with Jeanette.

A short while later, I entered the treehouse carefully. "Are your sisters home?" I whispered.

She shook her head and then led me upstairs to her bedroom.

I noticed her pet mouse named Pippi was scurrying around on top of her bed. I sat down and tried to pet the small mouse, but she nipped at my finger.

"Pippi, no. That's not how we treat our guests." Jeanette scolded, picking up the white rodent and letting her rest on her shoulder. Is it weird for a chipmunk to have a pet mouse? Maybe. Probably, but Jeanette is real weird so it fits.

I have a best friend named Warbie who is a bird. I think that's pretty weird too. But before I go off on a tangent about him, we're moving on. I'm sure he'll pop up at some point in this story.

"What would you like to talk about?" Jeanette asked, as we both sat cross legged on her bed facing each other.

I caught her up on my whole school day and then launched into my other complaints and dilemmas.

She listened very intently, nodding every now and then. She also sneezed a few times and blew her nose on a tissue.

"That must feel very…stressful." She finally said, before sneezing a 5th time. Or was it 6th? "ACHOOO!"

"Bless you." I said reflexively. I hoped that she'd get over those allergies soon.

She sniffled. "Thanks." Pippi handed her a tissue.

Before I could have time to doubt if telling her this would make her allergies better or worse, I went off on another emotional tirade. "It does feel stressful! I can't process it!" I explained. "All my life I have thought that you can't be cool if you're nerdy and you can't be nerdy if you're cool. But now, I think that being nerdy…like REALLY nerdy IS cool." I stood up and paced the bed. "So my brain does this thing where it's like ERROR ERROR! Does not compute! Shutdown imminent!" I pretended to be a malfunctioning robot, making short and choppy motions with my arms. "Because it can't make sense of it!" Rant over, I flopped backwards on her bed, defeated by the confusion.

She peered down at me. "The theory that nerdy and cool don't overlap is just a stereotype. There's TONS of overlap." She waved her arms. "Like most things, it's a spectrum."

I stayed flat on my back. "So me feeling cool isn't just residue from my past life that will eventually fade into nothing?" I asked, looking up into her friendly face.

"Absolutely not." She took my hands and pulled me to my feet. Now we were both standing on the bed. Pippi ran around our feet, chittering incomprehensibly.

"You sure?" My voice sounded smaller than I expected it to.

She continued to hold my hands. "Alvin, I have known you for years and this is the first time I feel like I'm talking to someone who has a three dimensional personality." She gushed. "You have LAYERS now. Like an onion."

I scrunched my nose, trying to make sense of what she said. Why compare me to a zesty taco topping? "Do you have to use that analogy? Onions make me cry and I have cried plenty today!" Okay, that was an exaggeration. I cried like two times. But it FELT like a ton.

She let go of my hands and sat back down on the bed with her legs dangling over the edge. Pippi crawled into her lap. "My point is. You're whoever you want to be…and he doesn't have to just be a few things."

KABOOM! It was like someone had slapped my thought process. What she was trying to explain suddenly came into focus. "I think I get it now!" I exclaimed, jumping off the bed and landing perfectly on my feet. No klutzy mishap! "I'm nerdy AND cool! At the same time! And nobody else gets me because they haven't figured that out yet either!" I threw my hands in the air. "Ohoho! Thanks, Netta! You are amazing! Spectacular!"

Her cheeks turned a smidge pink. She twirled a strand of brown hair with her finger. "Aw shucks."

I felt better about myself now…and then something startled me and really shook me up. I felt tiny little legs crawling up my back. At first, I assumed it was Pipster, but I noticed she was still in Jeanette's lap. Oh no! "Yaaaaaah!"

"What's wrong?" Jeanette heard my scream.

I started jumping around the room, trying to shake the creepy crawly off me. "Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!"

"Hold still." She ordered softly. "I think I know what's going on." She whistled a short and sharp sound.

Whatever was crawling around on my back, crawled off of me. Thank goodness. "What was that thing?" I asked, still jumpy. I'd been extra jumpy since the day I had my ego deflated.

"Mr. Snugglepet." Jeanette held something in her hands. I couldn't see what it was because she was covering it up entirely.

My ears twitched. "Mister who?"

"Snugglepet." She repeated. She uncovered the creature so I could get a good look at him or it or whatever.

IT WAS A BIG AND BLACK SPIDER! Now, I know what you're thinking. Alvin, you're a super brave and macho guy. Why are you scared of a little spider? I don't know WHY I'm scared of them! I just am!

"Ahhhhh!" I screamed again and Pippi rudely attempted to plug her large mouse ears. I jumped backwards and then tripped, falling onto my butt. "Get that thing away from me!"

The Chipette holding the monstrous spider looked disappointed. Aw nuts! I hadn't meant to make her sad. "Alvin, he doesn't bite. He's really a sweetheart when you get to know him. Come on, just give him one nice little stroke. He's more scared of you than you are of him."

"That's highly unlikely!" I squeaked, still jumpy.

She set the spider down on her nightstand. "Okay, okay, we'll work up to it." She opened up a large purple book with shimmery gold letters on the cover. Without my glasses on, I currently couldn't read what they said.

"That's a thick book." I commented. "What is it about?"

She grinned. "It's my spellbook. I've been looking for a spell to cheer up Simon."

"You mean a mind control spell? Cool!" I wiggled my toes and sat on the bed. "Can I try one on Miss. Smith to make her nice to me?"

Jeanette tilted her head and looked at me funny. "Mind control?"

"Yeah." I pointed out. "You'd be forcing Si to cheer up when he's not feeling it. It's basically mind control."

"Oh…" Her pretty mauve colored nose twitched. "I never thought about it that way. I just want to cheer him up somehow."

"So do I." I saw Mr. Snugglepet move on the nightstand and inched closer to Pippi and Jeanette. I didn't trust that spider. "But he won't say what's wrong."

She flipped through the magic book. "Maybe there's a truth spell we could use on him?"

I chuckled bitterly, knowing how she'd probably answer this one. "Think there's a spell to get my popularity back?"

She closed the book and put it back on the shelf. "Alvin, I thought you weren't ready for that yet. You're still trying to work on improving yourself."

I folded my arms and pouted. "I knoooow, but look how much I HAVE improved already. I mean, I totally crushed that math test today."

"You are very confusing." She told me softly.

I laughed. "Yeah. That about sums it up. Get it? Math? Sums?" WHY WAS I MAKING MATH PUNS!?

Jeanette chortled and then sneezed again. "HahahaACHOOO!" Oh, that's why. Jeanette liked my math jokes.

My eyes drifted back to the magic book. "So you're into both science and magic instead of just one or the other?" I questioned.

She nodded and then held her purple and blue polka dot pillow to her chest. "I think they both have an area of overlap."

"Speaking of science, I should probably get going." I looked out the window of her bedroom and stared at my house across the way. "Got a lot of homework to do, as usual. It feels like I can't ever catch up." I sighed.

"If you are ever open to a tutor…" The sweet girl in purple began.

Urgh! Why this conversation again? I don't need a tutor. I have to prove to myself that I can be responsible and conscientious without any adult involvement. Plus, I HATE being told what to do. "Don't need a tutor, Jean." I remarked. "I got it handled…somehow."

She didn't know what to make of that. "If you say so. It was nice seeing you, Alvin." She got up and picked her spider up from the nightstand. "Mr. Snugglepet says he's sorry he frightened you."

She and that spider were pretty cute, but I vowed never to touch him. "Sorry I screamed at ya." I told the 8 legged arachnid. I could have sworn that he waved one of his legs at me. Maybe I was imagining it.

I went back home and bounced around from assignment to assignment. That was my system for homework. A little bit of English, then science, then some history, then more science, then art, and more science with a bit of math. It was exhausting. When I finished, I didn't even bother to double check my answers. If they were right, they were right and if they were't they weren't.

I was basically a genius now so most of them were likely right. Although, perhaps I am getting a bit too overconfident. Wait! Is overconfidence a good sign? Maybe my ego is returning! I hope so! I only feel like I have a minuscule fraction of an ego currently. I estimate it's about 1/8th maaaybe 1/6th if I'm being generous.

That night, after everything was all set for school tomorrow, I decided to get a little fresh air. I know Jeanette is always telling me that fresh air helps brighten up your mood.

While I was out in the backyard, milling around, I overheard Simon's voice. I hid behind the grill so he wouldn't see me. What was he up to out here? I was about to learn…and I loved learning now, so I was excited!

He laid down in the grass and stared up at the sky with a melancholy facial expression. "I know Theo said that wishing on a star works. I think it's complete hokum." He muttered. "But, I am desperate." He took a deep breath and then stated his innermost desire. "I wish that I had someone, a good friend with whom to share my love of science."

I almost squealed. I hadn't expected this! I thought Si was happy having just one science friend in Jeanette. He definitely had a crush on her….I think.

He continued talking to himself. "I know I have Jeanette already, and she's great, but she's so busy with so many things…like green living club and yearbook committee, gardening class, and volunteering at the animal shelter." He lamented. "It feels like she's never around anymore."

Great. (Sarcasm) Now I felt bad for spending time with Jeanette earlier. She told Simon no and chose me. He could never find out. It would crush him.

I snuck back inside the house and got all ready for bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I wondered if there was a way I could help Simon out, you know, throw the guy a bone.

I could tell him I'm a genius and then we could be science bros together. BUT…that would have serious ramifications for my social life. Wait! I have a better idea! Oh yeah! This was the greatest idea ever! I was gonna cheer up my bro and keep my secret. It was foolproof. Unfortunately, dear readers, I'll have to wait until the next chapter of our tale to reveal it.

The gym clothes for Theo and Alvin. I still have yet to make a good photoshop version of Simon's.

Chapter Text

ANOTHER PLAN

Genius Alvin's POV

The next morning, I met up with Theo in the kitchen while Dave and Favorite Son Simon were watching some historical documentary show thing on TV in the living room. Theo was stuffing the pockets of his green hoodie with snacks for the day. Goldfish crackers, apple slices, celery sticks and raisins.

I adjusted my cap and slipped my reading glasses case into my backpack. Then I climbed up to the kitchen counter and grabbed a bowl of blueberry Shredded Wheaties cereal.

"So, have you told Simon yet? Or Dave? You should tell Dave. Imagine how impressed he'll be." My little bro squeaked.

I let out a heavy sigh as I dragged my spoon through my cereal, trying to clear my head of the unwanted barrage of information. I needed to think! What was that idea I came up with last night? I hadn't written it down and it was gone!

"Theo, I don't wanna tell anyone yet. Especially Dave." I revealed. "He thinks I'm an idiot! This'll make him….I dunno….lose consciousness."

"Consciousness?" Theo echoed.

Drat! Slipped into Simoneese again. "Pass out." I corrected it.

"Dave thinks you're smart already." My optimistic brother insisted.

I didn't believe that for a second. "No he doesn't, Theo."

"Yes he does." Theo munched his goldfish crackers. "He's always saying you have a very smart mouth."

Boy did that phrase take on a new meaning. Haha. I sounded so sophisticated and intelligent. I'd always had shades of that on the inside before. Now it was like my inside had been brought out and intensified! And it was all I could do to hold it back.

"That just means I talk back in an obnoxious way. And he's totally wrong. I'm not obnoxious." Okay, maybe a little. Like the tiniest bit. Totally not as obnoxious as Dave thinks I am though.

We heard footsteps approaching. Simon and Dave must have finished up their TV program. Time to conceal my inner genius again.

Dave immediately started getting all up in my business. He picked up the milk carton. "How many times have I told you? Put the milk back in the fridge when you're done with it."

I groaned. "I'm sorry."

"Don't get an attitude now." He warned. "All I'm doing is reminding you."

"I thought I did put it away!" I shouted in frustration.

Theodore and Simon busily ate their breakfast while dad and I had another one of our famous spats.

"Alvin, you need to pay more attention." Dave scolded me.

I pounded a fist on the table. Why was this mistake worth yelling at me? I had done plenty of WORSE things. "I didn't know I left it out! I didn't know!"

Simon narrowed his blue eyes and made the tiniest smile. "There's a lot you don't know." He teased. Implying I was ignorant was one of his favorite pastimes.

"There's a lot you don't know too." I said in my head snarkily. I wished I could say it out loud! Instead of talking back more with my "smart mouth," I got up and put the milk away.

"I don't know why you have to make these things so difficult, Alvin." Dave once again looked disappointed.

I rolled my eyes. "I wasn't trying to make it difficult." I said honestly. "I just have….a lot on my mind."

Theodore nodded. "He's going through a rough patch since he's not popular anymore."

I covered my ears. "Can you stop reminding me!?"

The weird voice in my head that sounded like me but never said things I would say grew louder. "Who cares about being popular?" AHHHHH! No! Stop! Out! Out! I care! I have always cared and always WILL!

His ears drooped sadly. "Sorry."

"Just throwing it out there, because you haven't asked yet, but I know you will at some point…" Simon began, seeming slightly less sad than yesterday. "No, I will not help you finish your homework at the last second."

Dave put his hands on his hips. "You've been begging Simon to help with your homework again?" He questioned, putting me on the spot.

"Just English and History and sometimes Writing." I confessed. "But I did everything last night, so I don't have to ask him today. I promise. I'm really trying to improve."

Simon cut in with another biting remark. "Trying is one thing." He muttered. "Actually improving is another." I wished I could remember that idea from last night. I know it was somehow related to Simon.

Theodore let out a squeaky little sigh. I could tell he was thinking what I was thinking. If only Simon and Dave knew how hard I was actually trying. "Don't be mean, Simon."

The blue clad boy looked embarrassed to be called out on his insult. "Just…..stating facts. Reminding him he's got a long way to go."

I did have a long way to go. Longer than I thought. I was beginning to realize that I needed some assistance with this genius business. Trying to control my new super-brain on my own was giving me so many headaches.

We finished breakfast and Dave sent us off to school with the usual "Have a great day, fellas. And stay out of trouble Alvin." Sigh. It's not like I was TRYING to cause trouble. I have really good ideas and really terrible uhhh….what's the word? Oh sure, now you turn off super vocab skills. Whatever. Not important.

My brothers and I rode the bus to school today. The Chipettes were there too. Brittany patted the seat next to her and tried to invite me to sit there. I was still pretty peeved at her for paying people to pretend I was popular and lying to me about it for years. She was the cause of my downfall.

I walked past her and I took a seat three seats behind where she was, across the aisle to boot. I wasn't in the mood to be within her vicinity. I could still see her from where I sat. Her mascara was all smudgy. I think that meant she was crying.

"Cry your heart out, missy." I thought with no remorse.

"She didn't mean to hurt you, you know." The nerdy voice in my head said. "Maybe you should talk to her."

Uh uh! No! Nuh uh! No way! I shoved that thought back and looked at my brothers. Simon was sitting in a seat with Eleanor and Theo was with Jeanette. That seemed fitting. The snarkers were together and the sweethearts were together.

Since I was pretty much alone and being ignored by all the popular kids, I decided now was a good time to do some research. I put on my reading glasses and loaded up google on my phone. I pondered what I should ask it. What would bring up some helpful results?

Finally, I chose a sentence to type in. "I have sudden intelligence and I don't know how to handle it." Would this work?

Something popped up immediately. It was the very first thing listed in the sea of results. Naturally, being the impulsive dude I am, I selected it and visited the website. TV Tropes-Sudden Intelligence!

It was an entire website dedicated to plot things that happen many times in different TV shows. I read the description on the page and my mouth dropped open. Here it was! The answers I had been looking for!

"A blow to the head, a scientific experiment, or alien technology shakes up a character's brain enough to unlock a level of intellect previously unheard of."

That was EXACTLY what I was going through. I still highly suspected the aliens as well. Although, there was one big difference between me and most of the examples. In the episodes, the characters gain knowledge that they didn't even have to learn. I was fairly certain that I had learned everything I knew.

After all, I had been reading books and watching educational programs as much as possible and absorbing their info. My YouTube history had gone from funny prank vids and music videos to a bunch of physics and mathy stuff presented in an easy to digest way. The reason I was cramming so hard and focusing mainly on this stuff was because I was afraid to stop. I feared losing interest in it as I had done in the past. It was the most hyper of hyperfocuses.

Regardless of that tiny difference, I assumed this could help! If I watched all these episodes, surely I would learn how to use my genius correctly! Ohoho! Terrific! Splendid! Sensational!

There was so much to pick from too! Jimmy Neutron, The Simpsons, Fairly Odd Parents, Spongebob, Regular Show, Johnny Test! Tracking down the episodes wouldn't be hard. Eleanor had taught me how to safely find and pirate stuff without collecting computer viruses in the process. She was quite a little mastermind herself.

Hold on! There was more than just cartoons! Live action shows were listed too! This just gets better and better! No Ordinary Family? A show about a family of superheroes like the incredibles. Cool! And even Star Trek: The Next Generation! I LOVE Star Trek. I loved it even prior to my sudden Nerdification.

I took a bunch of notes and compiled a list in one of my notebooks. Then, I was back to being bored. I needed another website to look up. Oh, I knew what would pass the time! Hopefully the IQ website I had used a long time ago to switch Simon's IQ score with mine was still around. IT WAS!

Because I was the only one taking the test, I opted not to use the trick score switching feature. Taking my time and with music plugged into my ears, I answered each question to the best of my ability. When I was finished, I pressed the giant green button for results.

My eyes went wide and I gasped! I must have been given the biggest upgrade EVER! My IQ score was a whopping 155 instead of the measly 102 I had scored last time. Proof that I had jumped from average to genius. Or maybe it was because I was finally really applying myself, fully immersed in learning and forming new connections? Nah, it's likely from aliens. Thanks, aliens. You made my life so complicated, but so much FUN!

I saved the result so that whenever I was ready to reveal this, I could show Simon. He really wanted someone to be a genius with. FLASH! As if I'd been struck by creative lightning, I remembered my amazing idea from the night before! I wrote it down so I wouldn't forget this time.

"Hey, poindexter." A rude girl behind me teased. "Time to get off the bus."

I slipped my glasses away and hurried off the rolling yellow turd of a vehicle. Thanks to the rude girl, at least I didn't forget to de-nerdify my appearance. If I walked through the hall wearing these now that I was also not popular, I'd be roasted mercilessly.

The school day was long and boring as it usually is. At the end of math class, Miss. Smith said she needed to talk to me. I was confused by this. Why would she wanna talk to me during her break time? I climbed up onto her desk in between 2nd and 3rd hour to find out.

"Alvin…" She held up my math quiz. "What is the meaning of this?"

"I believe it's about calculating the circumference and radius of a circle." The voice in my head said loudly. I said something entirely different. "It's a math test."

"Don't get smart with me." She pointed at the grade on the test. A…solid B plus.

I rolled my eyes. "And your point is?"

"You cheated." She folded her arms.

"Whoah whoah whoah!" I protested, walking around on her desk. "I didn't cheat. I know this stuff! I studied!"

She narrowed her eyes. "Alvin, I SAW you cheat."

I blinked. "Huh?"

"You had HEADPHONES IN!" She screamed at me.

Ohhhh. Yeah, I could see how that looked. "I was listening to music. It helps me concentrate."

"I'm not going to take your word for it." She snapped. "You may retake the test tomorrow." She was making me retake something I had passed!? This was the best score I'd ever gotten on a math test! It beat my Most Improved Award scores.

"But Miss. Smith…." I moaned. "If I retake it without music, I'll fail!"

She sighed. "If it's true you didn't cheat, which I still don't believe, you have to learn not to be dependent on music. You can't just plug headphones in when you're working a job. School is your job, treat it as one!"

I was ANGRY. "This isn't fair!"

"Look, when you do poorly on all the homework and then well on all the tests, that's proof you cheated." She laid out my last 6 math tests. Every single one between a B plus and a high C. Ohoho! Improvement!

Not that improvement mattered to the Smithster. I pouted. "Well, if you're so sure I cheated. Why even offer a retake? Why don't ya just send me to detention right now?" I snapped with irritation.

Predictably, I found myself in lunch detention. I cursed myself for giving her the idea. She was still letting me do the retake, but because I had such a "smart mouth," I had to pay the price.

Oh well, detention was a good place to start drafting up my letters for Simon. That was my brilliant idea, ya see! I would send Simon letters from an Anonymous pal who was a huge fan of him and really loved to talk about science! He never had to know it was me. I would word the letters in a way that made it seem like they were coming from an actual nerd and not a conflicted half-nerd and half-jock.

When detention ended, I rushed to meet Jeanette in the library. We had a few minutes left before the next class began. I was eager to share my idea with her! I found her in a quiet spot in the corner of the nerd-cave and slapped my first letter to Simon on the table.

I explained my plan as quickly as I could and then I smiled confidently. I was so clever, sometimes I even surprised myself. A lot of times I surprised myself. "What do you think?" I asked.

She gripped the letter in slightly shaky hands. "It's such a sweet gesture, but….most of these words are spelled wrong." She informed me.

That didn't surprise me. That was another reason I requested her help. "They are? Drat! Could you proofread it for me?"

"Of course!" She quipped. “And then you can type up my edits. Simon prefers letters typed. Handwriting is inconsistent and it bothers hi…hi…Achoo!" She sneezed again and wiped her delicate nose with a handkerchief.

Cool! I knew she'd be on top of this. "Can you also re-write some parts that sound too….me?" I requested.

"Achooo! Abso..ACHOOO..lutely." She smiled and sniffled. "I'll send you the document as soon as it's done. You can print it out."

"Splendid!" I let out a sigh of relief. My idea wasn't a total bust. "Your input and revisions are very much appreciated. Seriously, you are a lifesaver!" There I was, being all wordy again. Part of why I'm so out-loud-wordy all the time is, cuz I know if I try to spell the words on paper I'll make a fool of myself.

The bell rang and we headed to class. I wanted to talk to her more, but time was scarce.

Miss. Smith greeted me with an evil smile when I entered. "Did you enjoy your detention?"

I ignored her and took my seat. Eventually, she started the lecture and this time it wasn't about physics or chemistry. It was about crummy biology. Ick. Has never interested me. It didn't tickle my new brain either.

"This is boring. I'mma watch head TV." I whispered, unzipping my backpack.

Simon raised a brow and looked annoyed and confused. "What's head TV?"

"He means he's going to read a book." Jeanette clarified. Awww. She remembered when I came up with that, even though it was over a month ago.

My brother looked fed up with my tomfoolery. "Ohhhh. Well, he should be reading the biology book."

"Comic books are MUCH more fun, Simon." I whispered. I put on the dorky reading glasses that I still thought wrecked my face. Then, I took out the Physics and You book I had checked out on Jeanette's library card. The book in question had a comic book taped to the front, so that anyone who sees me thinks I'm just reading a new comic. Luckily, the Physics principles guidebook was thin enough that it didn't look too strange hiding behind the comic cover.

It was a recap of all the basics and some moderate stuff that I'd already studied. Still, it refreshed my mind to help the knowledge stick. I wanted to win the Jeopardy game in Dr. Wilson's class if we played it again. And I didn't want there to be any chance of the physics knowledge leaking back out of my head.

Yep! Despite my resistance at first, I now fully accepted my heightened intelligence. It didn't make me a nerd. I was only half-nerd, which is barely a nerd at all. I was gonna squeeze every last bit of potential out of me. Someday soon, I would be making my whole family AND Britt AND Jeanette proud.

ALVIN: Hope you guys are loving this chapter. I'm gonna do something a little unorthodox. I think it would be best if my dear brother told this next part of the story. Simon, take it away!

SIMON: You can't just put me on the spot like this!

ALVIN: Oopsie, I just did

SIMON: But I'm terrible at improv! Alvin! Alvin!? ALVINNN! Well, uh…here we go…I guess.

Simon's POV

Ordinarily, I would have stopped Alvin from reading the comic book. I was too tired to care today. I hadn't slept well. Depression levels were at an all time high. Jeanette was busy after school. She had texted to inform me she would be all this week.

Once again, I was on my own. Warren and his family were sick with the seasonal flu. Kevin was busy setting up another DND session and hanging out with his girlfriend Pamela. I have a hunch that Cheesy and I wouldn't have much fun just the two of us, but he was the only option I had left.

Organic Chemistry class should have been somewhat enjoyable, but our experiment did little to lift my spirit. We were testing the effect of pollution on the PH of rainwater. It made me fume over how needlessly polluted our planet is because most people are extremely lazy. It's a part of their nature.

Just like my extremely lazy brother, whom I caught glued to the TV when I got home that afternoon. I bet he hadn't even started on his homework. I debated whether or not to call him out again, since Theodore had told me not to earlier.

Finally, I chose to ask in the nicest tone I could muster. "Is your homework finished?"

"What's the point?" Came the sour reply. "Got a decent grade on my math test and Miss. Smith is sure I cheated." Alvin's brow furrowed. "She's making me retake it."

"You passed the math test?" I congratulated him. "That's fantastic."

He fidgeted nervously with the TV remote. "It was nothing to sneeze at. Just a C."

"C for confident and charming?" I asked him, repeating something he likes to say.

He sighed and then rested his head on one of our couch pillows. "Not either of those things right now."

"You'll get there again." Theodore climbed up to snuggle next to Alvin. "Remember that everyone has off days…and weeks….and sometimes months."

"Yeah." Alvin forced a smile that I was unable to discern his true feelings from. Was he still feeling lost without his usual ego? Was he recovering?

"Fellas! Dinner!" Dave called from the dining room.

We all gathered round to eat. Theodore had to practically drag Alvin away from the TV show he was watching. It was something about superheroes. Alvin watches a lot of mindless TV and reads a lot of juvenile fiction. It's not really my style.

"So, how was school today, boys?" Our father asked as we all scooped ourselves bowls of pasta salad. "Did anything exciting happen?"

"I made cinnamon buns in cooking class!" Theodore blurted out with a gap tooth grin.

"Sounds delicious." Our dad replied.

Alvin was trying to balance his fork on the edge of the salad bowl, but he kept failing. It was very comical. "A lot more delicious than pasta salad, that's for sure." He muttered.

"Alvin!" Dave scolded. "Stop playing with your food!"

"I'm not playing with my food." The fiesty red capped boy snapped. "I'm playing with my utensil."

Dave sighed and then looked at me. "How was your day, Simon?"

"It was survivable." I said with a hint of sadness present in my delivery.

"Aren't you gonna ask about my day, Dave!?" Alvin whined, trying to shove himself into the spotlight. It's his talent. He's always making EVERYTHING about himself. It grates on my nerves.

"How was music appreciation?" Our father said as he ate his meal. "What kinds of music are you studying?"

I could detect a hint of "oh crap. What should I say?" energy on Alvin's face. I suspected he'd either ditched his extracurricular class or slept through it.

"Uhhh….well….let me see if I can remember." Alvin mused. "There's uhh Mozart and Beethoven." It sounded like he was just making up answers on the spot. "And Bach. I like him cuz his name is like chicken sounds. Bawk bawk bawk bawwwwk!"

I could tell Dave was sorry he asked.

I swallowed my last bite of pasta salad and washed it down with some water. It was up to me to save Dave from Alvin's senseless and moronic chicken noises.

"How was work today, Dave?" I quipped.

His tense shoulders relaxed. "It was alright. I worked on a new medley and then sent off my lyrics for the toothpaste jingle." Dave recently got a gig working on advertising jingles. It was slightly embarrassing. What kid wants to admit their father wrote a song about toilet paper? At least toothpaste was a step above the last one.

"Oh toothpaste. How fascinating." Alvin remarked sarcastically.

"Toothpaste is important, Alvin." Theodore said confidently. "Without toothpaste, your teeth would stay all icky and yucky and then you'd get sick."

I joined Theo as we tried to teach Alvin the importance of dental hygiene. "He's correct. Gingivitis is nothing to laugh at."

"Hey, remember when I wrote "Alvin was here" on the mirror in toothpaste?" Alvin asked, laughing. I doubted he even heard what Theodore and I told him.

"That wasn't funny, Alvin." Dave reminded him.

"Not even a little?" The confused munk in the red baseball cap asked.

"No." Theo, Dave, and I all chorused together.

Alvin shrugged. "Maybe you just can't appreciate a good prank."

Peculiar. Very peculiar. Alvin wasn't normally one to bring up his past mistakes. In fact, he would pretend they never happened. His memory was so spotty that he didn't remember a great deal of them. (And there were so many) Any of the ones he did remember, WE had to remind him of.

It was almost as if Alvin was PURPOSELY acting worse than usual. But why would he be doing that? Was he trying to get a rise out of Dave? Was he trying to distract us from a different prank he was pulling?

When dinner had concluded, I helped wash dishes with Dave and Theo. Alvin disappeared to who knows where. We didn't need his "help" anyway. He would only slow us down.

I retired to my room to read a little before bed. I searched in my backpack for my math book. I was in an algebra mood. Furthermore, my Advanced Quantum Mechanics book had some kind of sticky residue on the cover that was horrible to touch. I don't know where it came from or how to get it clean. I may have to invest in another copy. That irks me. It wasn't cheap.

Ow! I poked myself with the corner of something sharp inside my backpack. Curiously, I pulled out a manilla envelope. It was addressed to me.

TO: Simon Seville

FROM: Anonymous

Where did this come from? Had someone at school slipped it into my backpack when I wasn't looking? And what was inside it? Was it a threat of somekind?

I looked at both my brothers. Theodore was on his bed having a tea party with his plush toys and pretending that a plush toy of Eleanor was real and part of it. To each their own, I suppose.

Alvin was stretched out on his bed with his red glasses on and his nose buried in the same comic he'd been reading earlier in class. It's great that he had developed a love of reading, but his choices in novels were so….the opposite of novel. (For those of you who don't get the attempt at humor, novel can also mean new and interesting.)

I walked up to Alvin's bed and he closed the comic book and sat on top of it. Weird behavior indeed, but kind of on brand for Alvin.

I held out the manilla envelope and waved it at him. "Do you know who put this in my backpack?"

"Why would I care about a stupid random envelope?" He asked, clearly having no interest.

I couldn't resist messing with him a little. "What if there's money inside?"

He rolled his eyes. "Pretty sure there's no money." Then, he switched to a more excited expression. "Although maybe you're right and there is money! Who knows?" My brother has so many mood swings, he might as well be at least 5 different people.

"Theodore?" I stepped over to his side of the room. "Do you know who gave this to me?"

He shook his head. "I didn't hear anything about a letter."

I walked over to the bedroom window and waved at Jeanette in the treehouse across from me. She waved back. I held up the letter and waved it around.

"Did you send this?" I asked, giving my voice a lot of power so it could cover the distance I needed it to.

She shrugged and then sneezed. "ACHOOO!"

I was baffled. Maybe if I opened the letter, things would be explained. I carefully peeled up the top of the envelope and slid out the folded paper.

Unfolding it, I read.

"Greetings, Simon.

I have been meaning to write to you for some time. I am a huge fan of you and your inventions. I think they're just the coolest. They're all such intelligent designs. I wish I could meet you in person someday.

The problem is, I am very self conscious, especially around celebrities. I am also rather shy and I get tongue tied easily. Writing is my favorite form of correspondence.

I do go to your school, but I am not in any of your classes. I was hoping we could send letters back and forth so that I could speak to you this way instead of face to face. It's just easier for me. I apologize if this is inconvenient.

You can drop your response to this letter in the library dropbox. If you're interested in my idea. If not, I understand. I don't want to come on too intensely.

I have always wanted to have someone to talk science with. My main branch of scientific study is physics, but I am open to other branches as well. I would love to learn about how physics connects to chemistry. If I recall correctly, you've said chemistry is your favorite.

Anyway, I hope to hear from you soon. You have been a huge inspiration for me. I hope you're having an amazing day.

Signed, Your fellow intellectual,

Anonymous"

What was this? Was there really someone else at school who actually wanted to communicate with me on my level? My heart beat faster, and chipmunk hearts already beat fast when we aren't excited. Who was this mystery man? Woman? Person?

"You guys! You'll never believe it!" I told my brothers, hopping around the room excitedly. "Someone besides Jeanette wants to be my science buddy!"

"Cool." Alvin didn't seem interested. "You both can destroy the world together."

"Well, we won't actually be inventing together." I explained. "They wish to get to know me better in letters first. They're shy."

"Good for you, Simon!" Theodore clapped his hands. "You deserve a science buddy." Theo shot a look at Alvin that was almost, but not quite, a glare.

"They say they love physics. That's great because it combines both science and math together. We'll have so much to discuss." I continued, eager to write Anonymous back as soon as possible. I opened up my laptop and started to type my thoughts down.

Alvin rolled onto his belly. "Ew science and math." He commented. "Who would do that stuff for fun outside of school?"

"Yeah. Who would?" Theodore looked at Alvin with a more obvious disapproving glare.

I sighed. Why couldn't Alvin be a tiny bit more open to science? Just a tiny tiny bit. Nothing major. I wouldn't want him to start dreaming of being a scientist because that's my thing. However, I sure would love it if he wouldn't make such stupid remarks every time I bring up a scientific concept.

"People who like it. We all have different likes and dislikes. It's what makes us who we are. You'll never understand how rewarding it feels to think up theories or create experiments." I lectured my auburn haired sibling. "It's very much above your skill level."

"Yep." He hung upside down off his bed. "Takes a real genius to mix a bunch of random stuff together and go ta da! I made science goop!"

"Did you know that sports are full of physics concepts?" I asked Alvin, I really don't know why I asked. My words made no impact as usual.

"La la la la! I don't care!" Alvin said, covering his ears rudely.

"I care." Theodore told me, in an effort to make me feel better. "I don't understand it at all, but I care."

"Physics is the worst science." Alvin jumped around on his bed. "Physics drools! Music Appreciation Rules!"

I was now reaching the threshold for the amount of annoyance I could take before lashing out at my brother. "I'm going to the basement." I said, picking up my laptop with the half written response letter composed on it.

"Enjoy writing the rest of your nerd letter!" Alvin hollered obnoxiously.

Once I was down in the basement alone, I finished the letter and warmed up a cup of ramen noodles in my high powered microwave. I was feeling so many emotions. There was the lingering annoyance, the unrelenting depression, and yet….a glimmer of hope. A small trace of optimism to combat my pessimistic nature.

I had a brand new friend. I knew almost nothing about them and that was frightening. Plus, it was a bit creepy that they had such good access to my backpack. Still, they didn't seem harmful. Just a shy person who wanted someone to share their hobbies and passions with. I guess that wishing on that star had worked! Maybe Theodore wasn't so crazy after all.

Alvin's atrocious spelling on his first draft letters.

Chapter Text

BROTHERLY BONDING

Doofus-Genius Alvin's POV

As soon as Simon left the room, Theo IMMEDIATELY started grilling me like a veggie kabob. I knew my idea was kinda nuts, but hey…it worked so far!

"I know what you're doing." My baby brother held his Talking Teddy doll up so that its eyes were level with my own.

I pretended to have no idea what he was talking about. "Whatever do you mean?"

"The note." He scowled. "You could just tell Simon, but you're going through all this trouble because you're still ashamed to be all smarticle."

"How do you know I wrote the note?" I questioned him, poking his Talking Teddy doll in the chest.

He set Teddy down and then imitated me as best he could. "My main branch of study is physics." He squeaked. "Signed, Your fellow intellectual." He folded his arms. "It sounds exactly like you."

"Does not!" I protested.

"Does so." He replied. "You're messing with Simon."

"I'm not messing with him." I said softly. "I really do want to talk physics with him. I'm just…scared it'll further tank my reputation."

"What reputation?" Theodore asked, sending a stabbing pain through me. "Nobody at school cares what you do now. You're free."

I shook my head. "Free until they know I am the ultimate science prodigy." I responded glumly. "Then it's nerd for life….no going back. I'll be picked on so much that I'll have to switch schools. They picked on me a ton for just getting reading glasses! I can't tell people about this! I can't! I already made my entire physics class take an oath of silence."

"So you're just gonna keep lying to Simon?" He asked, his brown eyes watering. I could tell he was concerned the truth would be revealed and Simon would be hurt. That was weighing on my mind to, but what other option did I have!?

I shrugged, faking a nonchalant attitude while inside I was filled to the brim of my cap with worst case scenarios. I like that word. Scenarioooo. "He's happy. I'm happy. It's a win-win."

He climbed on his bed and crawled inside. "So now I have to keep this secret too!?" He looked upset.

"Just for a while." I yawned. "Until I can find a way to like physics and still be cool."

He muttered something into his pillow and then picked Teddy up off the floor and cleared the rest of the plushies off his bed. He climbed into bed cuddling Teddy.

I put my hands behind my head, feeling like every bit the genius I was. This was the greatest idea I could have ever thought up. I couldn't wait to get Simon's response.

It continued on like this for a couple full weeks. I would go to school and nerd out secretly, with plenty of time for skateboarding, videogaming, and sports. Theo and Jeanette continued to keep my secret, although Jeanette's allergies were worsening. Heh heh AL-lergies. They were caused by me. I'm only joking about it to cover up my immense guilt!

Britt continued to ask me about a complete cool guy makeover and about the girl I was crushing on. I dodged her questions and eventually stopped talking to her altogether. Eleanor kept telling me to keep my head in the game. I would constantly space out randomly as the barrage of random thoughts infected my head. I had overdone it with the learning and now everything was all mixed up. It was like my brain had given up on any semblance of organization.

Imagine you have a bucket and you start putting a bunch of small things inside it. You fill the bottom of the bucket and you can still find where everything is because you can reach it easily. But say you add a second layer and a third? Then, you pack the bucket full, put a lid on it and shake it til everything is moved around every which way. That was what was happening to my brain.

I know I talk about my brain a lot. It's because I've always kind of had a love-hate relationship with it. I used to hate how it would never let me do anything I wanted to do, let alone what I was told to do. I was constantly understimulated.

Now that Dr. Wilson's class had jumpstarted it, the thing was AMAZING! I was overstimulated, but I didn't care! I just wanted to keep cramming in knowledge. I wanted to know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING. But the more I learned about different subjects, the more my brain became all disorganized again. I couldn't get to the information I needed when I needed it.

But I NEEDED it right now. I sat at a table in the cafeteria with my reading glasses on, texting up another letter to send to Jeanette so she could edit it and I could slip it in Simon's backpack.

Simon and I had been writin' letters back and forth a lot these weeks. A LOT. I was talking to him more through the letters than I talked to him out loud in person. It felt so…freeing. Like I could finally be myself. Which was weird, since I was pretending to be some random person from school. I sent him so many fun facts about physics, that he probably already was aware of, but I wanted him to know that I, errr, Anonymous knew.

Here are some of the highlights.

"Gelatin doesn't break if you tap it because of surface tension."

"The sun doesn't actually change color at sunset."

"Time goes faster at the top of a building than the bottom according to Einstein's theory of relativity."

"Wind has a shadow! It's just invisible!" Like Eleanor lol

"The gyroscopic effect keeps a bike balanced."

"Water tension holds sandcastles together."

"Inertia keeps you from falling out of a rollercoaster."

"An apple didn't actually fall on Newton's head, but the fact that he saw apples falling straight down was what got him thinking about physics."

"Alternative universes probably exist, according to Stephen Hawking!" Or as I called him before Jeanette corrected me, "Wheelchair robot voice guy."

"Theoretically, if you put saturn in a bathtub big enough, it could float."

"About 3 atoms are present in every cubic meter of space."

"Black holes warp time the closer you get to the event horizon."

Whoah, okay, maybe you didn't need THAT many highlights. Oh well. Point is, I was totally out of ideas for fun facts to put in my next letter. Now what should I do? I needed to look in a physics book to refresh my spotty memory. Problem. I couldn't very well do that with everyone else in the cafeteria.

"What are you up to, Alvin?" Kevin took a seat next to me.

I scrambled to put my phone away. He COULD NOT see the letter. "Oh, you know, just, like, hangin." I improvised. Was that classic Alvin dialogue? Or did it sound too dumb now? This was exhausting.

Cheesy came over to join the two of us. He was munching a doughnut. I don't even know where he got the doughnut from. "Wassup."

"Hey, this might seem like a crazy question coming from me…" I began, my mouth moving without permission from my common sense. "Do you guys know any good physics fun facts?"

"Since when do you care about physics?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah." Cheesy added. "You think it's lame."

"I….I….I…." I stammered, unsure what to say. Finally, I said. "Can you keep a secret?" And then I told them everything.

I knew it was risky, the more people knew, the bigger the chance that my secret would get out. But I NEEDED to tell someone. I was just bursting on the inside. I was built for showing off! Not hiding things. I wanted so badly to be able to actually use my genius whenever. Maybe then Miss. Smith wouldn't accuse me of cheating.

Kevin and Cheesy were shocked to the core, but after I explained further, they helped me compose 80% of the next letter to Simon. I composed the rest myself and then gave it to Jeanette so she could do her thing. I met her in the art room this time instead of the library.

The poor girl was still suffering because of my dishonesty. Now she had red patches all over her skin that showed through the fur.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

She nodded as she itched at her arms. "I'm good. It's just hives. It makes me think of bees, so it isn't all bad."

"You're breaking out in hives because of me." I said sadly.

She edited the letter as she scratched. "It's okay. At least I stopped sneezing."

"Do you think that you'll get better if I tell Simon? Not Britt or Ellie yet, just Simon? Or does it have to be all three?" I asked, playing with a marker cap on the table that had no marker.

"Well…." She rubbed her back against the chair. I assume the hives were all over her back too. She was falling apart….because of me. What if Theo was falling apart too? How could I do this to them?

"Yes?" I urged her to finish the sentence.

She smiled at me. "It probably would help a little." Her smile flipped upside down. "But what about your reputation? Simon might tell more people. You'd be outed as a nerd."

I would have touched her hands if they weren't covered in a totally gross rash. "I can't let you get hurt, Jeanette." I said honestly. "My reputation isn't worth it."

"Thank yoACHOOO!" She sneezed directly in my face. Ew. "Sorry." She wiped my face with a tissue.

"Wish me luck." I grimaced. "I don't think Si is gonna take it well."

"You might be surprised." She adjusted her purple glasses, which had gone crooked following the big sneeze.

I shrugged. "Perhaps." I didn't believe that for a second.

I knew that once Simon knew, Eleanor and Britt and the rest of the school wouldn't be far behind. But I HAD to come clean. I had to. Two and a half weeks was a long enough time to hide the fact that I was the mysterious Anonymous that kept slipping letters in Simon's backpack.

After class, I slipped the final letter in while he was busy at his locker. He never saw me. What I didn't realize at the time was that the blinking tiny security camera he had installed on his backpack DID. It had recorded me and Simon was about to learn the truth…before I could tell him. Wha oh!

ALVIN: Hey, Si! You're up again.

SIMON: Stop making me narrate your story for you.

ALVIN: But it's more beneficial for the audience to get your perspective. They know how I feel about everything. You bottle it all inside!

SIMON: There's a reason for that.

ALVIN: If you narrate this part, this tiny little section for me, I will let you have 4 hours of uninterrupted peace and quiet.

SIMON: You've got yourself a deal.

Simon's POV

I raced home from school once my Chemistry class was dismissed. I found another letter in my backpack and smiled to myself. I had finally done it! I would soon know exactly who this Anonymous person was. I had waited two and a half weeks before pulling this ripcord, but my curious mind NEEDED to know.

You see, I had installed a spy cam on my backpack. When whoever had been giving me these lovely letters approached, I would catch them on the camera. Now, all I had to do was plug it into my laptop and watch the footage.

I did this in the secret lab within my bedroom closet. I projected the footage up on the screen. Fast forward, fast forward, THERE! Wait….WHAT!? It couldn't be!

There, on the screen was a video of none other than ALVIN! He was slipping the letter into my backpack with a huge smirk on his face. I was furious! How could he do this to me!? I finally thought I had a friend to discuss science with! It was just my brother faking it?

Now, Alvin has done some downright despicable things over the years, but this one takes the metaphorical cake. Pretending to be some random kid from school interested in science just to screw with my head is a LOW BLOW, even for HIM!

It's too bad he wasn't dumb enough to sign Anonymous with a big YELLOW A. That may have tipped me off sooner. How DARE he keep this ruse up for 2 and a half weeks? How DARE HE!? I was going to give that dishonest lunatic a piece of my mind. I stormed out of the lab, breathing heavy.

"ALVINNN!" I yelled, my temper flaring just like my father's would whenever that jerk would prank him.

Alvin shoved his comic book under his pillow and looked at me with a hint of worry in his eyes. "What'd I do this time?"

"You tell me." I grabbed him and pulled him into my secret lab and then closed the door.

He sounded scared and pitiful. "Si, what's going on?"

I put the video back up on screen and made it freeze on a clear image of his face. "Start talking, Anonymous." I hissed.

"Oh….that." He frowned, looking guilty.

I clenched my jaw, trying not to scream. "Yeah." I said. "THAT."

He put his hands behind his back. "Okay, so, funny story…" he began.

I lost it. "FUNNY STORY!?" I exclaimed. "You knew how much I wanted a real friend and you MESSED with me!" Then, I felt tears trickle down my cheeks. I hate crying, especially in front of anyone. "Does being a brother mean anything to you?"

"Simon, I can explain." He claimed.

I growled in a threatening way. "You better have one heck of an explanation."

"Just hear me out." He sat down in the chair by my desk and looked me directly in the eyes. "You know when I accidentally signed myself up for that physics class for a week and then transferred out of it into music appreciation?"

I sighed. This was old news. "Yeah."

But what he said next sent a shiver down my spine and widened my eyes. "I didn't drop the class."

"What?" I said in disbelief. Alvin willingly staying in a class he HATED? That's a new one.

"I'm still in it. I take my final exam tomorrow actually." He went on, getting up from the chair and starting to walk around my lab. The boy cannot sit still.

I stood there, dumbfounded. "W…W….What?"

"I….I like it." He confessed. "I'm fascinated by it. I understand it. When I saw how upset you were about not having someone to science chat with…I…well…I just wanted to help. Plus,…" His voice got quieter. "I also wanted to chat science with you too."

HE UNDERSTANDS IT!? I felt light headed. It's not every day that your sibling drops an earth shattering secret on you. He'd kept this from all of us so long. Almost the whole marking period!

"You actually understood it? That's great!" I told him, feeling a weird new sensation. I think I was impressed. I thought about how well written the letters were and all the science facts we had shared back and forth. I had no idea I'd been writing my own brother this whole time. Maybe this would be the start of us actually getting along.

"No, it's not!" Alvin protested, throwing his hands in the air. "It's not great! Why does everyone keep saying that?"

I sat down in my chair, since he didn't want it. "Because learning things is good for you." I told him.

He started to panic. We'd have to work on his anxiety. "But this….Simon, this isn't me! I don't want this to be me! Why is this ME!? The glasses….the love of science! I'm turning into a….a…" He was so shaky he couldn't even finish the sentence.

"…A total dweebus?" I finished for him, smirking. That's what he has called me at least 100 times.

He made gagging noises. "Exactly!"

I decided to upset his status quo even more than the physics class had. "Well, judging by the numerous fun facts you wrote in those letters, I'd say you've already turned…and quite spectacularly, I might add." I smiled. Cue the freakout in 3…2….1…

"NOOOOOO!" He dropped to his knees.

"You're just having trouble accepting this part of yourself." I continued, watching Alvin try and deny his new status.

He got up and hugged himself, still panicking. "Because it's not a part of myself. It's not. It's not supposed to be."

I got out of the chair and walked over to put a hand on his shoulder. "Liking things that others find nerdy is nothing to be embarrassed about." I informed him. "Besides, I've always wanted someone with whom to share the mechanics behind my inventions. Now I have that" I made a very confused expression. "In you…"

"You have Jeanette for that." Alvin insisted.

I smiled. I was looking forward to taking Alvin under my wing. He could be my lab assistant. "I could always use someone else. Whenever Jeanette and I hang out together, people always think we're dating. It drives me CRAZY." I said honestly.

Alvin still didn't look too keen on the idea. "The novelty of having a brother just like you is gonna wear off real quick, Si. Believe me. I know. That's why I was super glad the hypnotist guy was able to change ya back when he took your smarts away."

"Will you give it a chance?" I asked hopefully.

"Okay, fine, maybe." He agreed. "But I'm not changing any further than this. I'm not gonna start dreaming about being a famous scientist. That's your thing."

THANK GOODNESS! I WAS REALLY WORRIED IF HE LIKED SCIENCE HE'D SOMEHOW STEAL IT FROM ME! Imagine Alvin winning a nobel prize or something before me! That would be the biggest punch to the gut I'd ever experienced.

I smiled wider. "Oh for sure. I wouldn't expect you to. All I'm saying is….give thinking a chance."

"I do enjoy this profound thinking business." Where did Alvin learn a word like PROFOUND!? Oh, right. Probably Dr. Wilson. "Alright! I will!"

I sat back down in the chair. "I can't believe I have a brother who UNDERSTANDS science."

"Yep." He chuckled. "This is pretty weird."

"So weird." I mumbled. I was wondering if it was really real or if I'd somehow crossed into another dimension.

My red capped brother spoke again. "You know that planetarium pass I gave ya? When I found the meteorite? From the Shian 22 asteroid belt?" How did he remember that if he can't even remember to put his skateboard away? "The one I begged and pleaded and traded my coffee shop gift card for? Do you still have that?" He continued.

I nodded. "Yes."

His cheeks turned pink with embarrassment. I had a feeling he'd be embarrassed for a while. "Can I have it back?"

"But of course!" I opened my desk drawer and handed him the pass. "Now that I know you'll appreciate it, I don't mind it being yours."

"Awesome!" He clutched the pass to his chest. "I'm really excited to check out the planetarium, you know, tons of physics at work."

"I bet you'll have fun." I was looking at Alvin in an entirely new light. "There isn't a nerd gene in your body." I had said before. Oh what a bittersweet laugh that was now. Had Alvin always had this secret side? Had I missed signs? Where were the signs?

Or had my wish on that star to have someone other than Jeanette with whom to share my knowledge so they could appreciate it…Had it chosen my brother? Was this a test? Was I supposed to just take THIS in stride the way I would any other one of Alvin's phases?"

"Sooooo?" My enthusiastic brother leaned onto my desk. "Got any inventions I can check out?"

"Maybe once you've proven I can trust you." I said "considering you've been lying to me all marking period."

"Half lying." He corrected.

I groaned. "That doesn't make it better."

"Okay okay. I will prove to you what an amazing genius I can be." He jumped across the lab and then tripped over his own feet.

I rolled my eyes. "Smart, maybe. Genius? Hardly."

He shook his head. "No, I am DEFINITELY a genius. I read your entire Quantum Mechanics Book. And I understood it!"

"Are you sure you understand it? Or do you just think you understand it?" I asked. "You can get too confident for your own good."

"I'm positive. Simon, I'm getting an A in Physics. An A. As a class grade. I've never gotten a marking period grade better than a B minus before!" He looked directly at me and grabbed my shoulders. "You and me, we have the same brain juice stuff. We got all the smarts and Theo got, well, nothing."

I pursed my lips. "I'm still not sure you're actually a genius."

"Why are you so skeptical?" He whined.

I pointed up at the screen. "Let's take a little trip down memory lane, shall we?"

I played him a compilation video of every single time he'd ever called me a nerd and there were a lot of them.

About an hour later, we'd reached the end of the video.

"My name is Simon. I like to fill my brainal cavities with useless information. Gigabyte, ethernet, router, Glorbadex." Video Alvin mocked.

Video me was exasperated. "Glorbadex isn't even a word."

"Is so! It's the name of a tech startup company!" My brother told me, as the video stopped playing after that last clip.

I blinked in surprise. "Huh?"

"Y…Y…Yeah." Alvin stammered. "Surprised I still knew that."

I spun around in the chair to face him. "Oh….Well, anyway, now can you see why I think you're playing an elaborate joke on me?"

Alvin looked offended. "Simon, I really did get smarter-er! I swear! I fried my own brains!" I wish he would stop talking about that stupid alien book!

"What genius says "smarter-er?" I replied.

Alvin walked out of the lab. "I do! Cuz I am a genius! I know I am! And I'm gonna prove it somehow!"

I followed him. "So how many people have you told about the physics class?"

"Just you, Jeanette, and Theo…I think." He listed them off on his fingers. "Oh and also Kevin and Cheesy."

"So you haven't told Brittany?" I gulped.

He shook his head. "I don't want to tell her ever. It might drive a wedge between us. She'd still be popular and I'd be….I'd be…."

"A geeknerd." I finished for him.

He got a very panicked look again. I could somewhat empathize. Being a nerd was certainly no picnic. But I was here for him. I would help him adjust, just as I had done many times before when he experienced life changing events.

Our dynamic had shifted for sure. I had intended to chew Alvin out over the letters, but instead I had found common ground with him. The one silver lining was that although he kept claiming to be a genius, there was no way he was anywhere close to my level.

ALVIN: Thanks, Si. I'll take it from here!

SIMON: You do that. I'm going to go take a nap.

ALVIN: We now return to my interpretation of the story.

Genius Alvin's POV

The next day, Simon caught me watching The Big Bang Theory on TV. That cool new website I had found also helped me find shows to watch where the characters were smart all the time, instead of just smart for one episode. I hoped my genius upgrade wasn't just like one of those temporary episodes. I would hate to lose it. Especially since Si was taking it so well.

"You watch The Big Bang Theory now?" He asked, joining me on the couch.

I didn't wanna tell him I was choosing to do it, since it was like the epitome of dweebus shows. So, once again, I lied to Simon. "I'm watching TV for homework! Isn't that exciting!? I'm supposed to write down any physics concepts I notice…which has been 0 so far. I'm too busy laughing at these 4 dorky nerds. They cannot get a girl!" I quipped. Because it sounded like a plausible Dr. Wilson style assignment, he was none the wiser.

"Sounds like someone else I know." Simon replied, elbowing me playfully.

Wait, did he mean me? I knew I couldn't exactly get a girlfriend right now. I was still on the whole popularity break thing and girls were pretending not to notice me.

Except Britt, I still wasn't up to telling Brittany what I'd become. For obvious reasons! She was gonna take it horribly. But, I'd also thought Simon would take it horribly and he welcomed my nerd side with open arms. Well, for now he did. I highly suspected that's because he still thought I was MUCH less smart than him.

Anyhulahoop, Britt and I met up in the courtyard at lunch. She stood on one of the picnic tables and tossed a flier at me.

"What do you think?" She shoved one of the fliers in my face. I couldn't tell what the flier was all about. I didn't have my reading glasses on. Plus, I felt like my up close vision was getting worse, but that might have just been an exaggeration.

I squinted at the flier. "What is it?"

I focused on the sound of the voice coming from the fuzzy pink blob. "It's your face, duh! I'm thinking you should join the school Dance Committee! That's a surefire way to score popularity points. However, you have to be chosen by the class reps to join, so a little advertising couldn't hurt."

I handed her back the blurry flier. "Britt, I'm not interested in helping set up school dances. I am swamped with homework. I just don't have the time."

I couldn't see her face until she walked further away from me. She pouted those gorgeous lips of hers. "But, Alvie…"

"But nothing." I said. "Drop it."

"You'll live to regret it." She warned.

I let some of my newly acquired Simonese words slip out of my mouth. "Suppose I might. Doesn't metamorphose the certitude that this is my prerogative."

"Now you're just stringing random big words together." She huffed, as she often does when annoyed.

I smirked. "Awww, you caught me." It was true, technically. What she didn't know is that all the words I was stringing together, actually made sense!

She continued to make a fool of herself. "It's all gibberish. See? I can say big words too." She taunted.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Cool."

"Big words are NOT cool. Nobody is going to be able to understand you." She flicked her wrist. See? As I mentioned previously. Brittany Jewel Miller is dumb as a post. Big words are AWESOME!

I wanted to get out of there and away from her, so I scampered over to Eleanor before I could hear any more biting retorts from the Chipette in pink.

"Hey, how's Jeanette doing?" I asked with clear concern. "I know she's not at school today. Did the hives get worse?"

Eleanor bounced a basketball on the paved basketball court in the courtyard. "Hives are about the same. She woke up in the middle of the night, so she's taking today off to rest."

My mind began to get distracted by the basketball bouncing. I started trying to calculate the force of it hitting the ground. No! Get out! I need to focus on Jeanette! It's my fault she's in this mess.

"Tell her I said that I, you know, hope she feels better real soon." I drew invisible circles on the ground with my foot.

"I will." Eleanor bounced the basketball at me.

I caught it reflexively without thinking. "There's another thing I wanna tell ya, but I don't want anyone else to hear." I said.

Her ears twitched. She's always been a sucker for a good secret. "What is it?" She led me farther away from the basketball court and scurried behind a tree.

I joined her and rested a hand on the tree trunk. I decided I was done holding back. Eventually, at least my whole family would know. "Guess what Eleanor! I'm a genius! Like a literal genius! I'm gifted like Si! Which, I mean, I guess I've always secretly wanted to be because I LOVE IT!" I gushed.

She didn't look shocked or anything. "I know." She grinned. "I was wondering when you'd tell me."

"You know? How?" My eyes were wide.

"Observation…." She fibbed. "….and Theo told me." Aha! That was the real reason.

I sighed. "I gotta stop telling Theo big secrets."

"Oh please." The pigtailed girl scoffed. "It's not like you being gifted is gonna rip the world apart or anything."

"Depending on the inventions Simon and I work on, it literally might." I pointed out.

She chuckled. "Ah, I think it'll make life interesting."

"How am I supposed to tell Britt?" I asked, pointing to the Chipette sitting far in the distance on the picnic table.

Eleanor picked up the basketball, which I had dropped without realizing it. "Eh, I'm sure your big brain can figure something out."

I wasn't so sure about that. Britt was so sure I'd be popular again. Outing myself as a physics geeknerd would take popularity entirely off the table.

Eleanor must have noticed how sad and pathetic I looked. She tipped my head up with her finger. "Chin up, Alvin. You'll get through this."

I vowed to tell Britt….someday. Eleanor and I talked for a while and I learned that Theo didn't just reveal my true intellectual capabilities. He revealed EVERYTHING. Even my crazy Anonymous letter idea. At least she was up to speed. Crap. Speed. And now I was caught in the physics whirlwind again. This was getting old.

Back at home, when school ended, I decided that Simon needed to know the full extent of my change. We were working together on our science homework at our mini desks when I stopped suddenly.

"Are you bored already?" My brother in blue asked.

I pushed my red glasses up on my nose. "No, no. Not exactly. I just thought of a perfect way to prove just how smart I am now."

"That way is HOMEWORK, Alvin. Seriously. We're running out of time and…you're not listening to a word I say, are you?" Simon set down his pencil and sighed.

"This is better. Trust me," I really was barely listening to him. "Oh Simon! Check out what I can do!"

I took a red marker and covered a section of the wall in physics equations. Extremely complicated physics equations. They're so complicated that I'm not even gonna bother explaining them to you. Just take my word for it. When I finished solving the equations, I twirled the marker around in my fingers.

Simon was awestruck. His blue eyes sparkled. He finally saw what I'd been trying to show him since he made his first invention and impressed Dave. We were like minded kin. I just used my superior intellect differently.

"That's incredible!" My bro gasped. "You really….know all that? You aren't just copying it from memory? You know what it means?"

"Oh yeah!" I boasted. "Turns out my memory is fantastic! It's just really really selective!" Well, fantastic MIGHT be a stretch. My memory is fairly unreliable. Even cramming it with facts and statistics doesn't change that.

Simon put a hand on his chest "…..great Newton's ghost." He uttered.

"Newton was a talented fella." I said. Then, I looked at the wall and back at the marker. A not so spectacular thought entered my mind. "Oooh boy. Hey, uh, Simon. What are the odds this marker is gonna, you know, wash off the wall?" I wiggled the red marker.

He gulped. "Uh, well, Slim to none."

I chuckled nervously. "Oops." So I still wasn't a master at controlling my ideas. I needed a way to sort through the good ones and bad ones so I could only pick good ones. But, but, I was POSITIVE I would get there eventually.

"How are we going to explain the wall to Dave?" Simon questioned.

I shrugged. "Tell him that you wrote it."

"I'll go get the stain remover I used on the paint from our paintball party." Simon hurried into his lab, leaving me at my mini desk with the homework.

This was going to take a lot of time to adapt to. My mind started to wander and it played me an entire clip show thing of characters from The Big Bang Theory talking about physics stuff. I wondered how Dave and Britt would react when they learned my secret. Would Dave like having two genius kids? Or would he send me away to math camp or something so he could focus on Favorite Son Simon?

As for Britt, I still kinda had a soft spot for her. She might have ruined my social life, but it was that blunder that helped me realize who I really was inside. Or, rather, who the aliens who upgraded me had turned me into. Important distinction there. I made up my mind to tell Brittany everything at some point tomorrow and I hoped with all my heart our friendship wouldn't be affected badly. She's an exquisite individual, baring her hatred for changes. I would hate to lose her.

Chapter Text

THE BIG REVEAL

Simon's POV

I returned to the bedroom to find Alvin bouncing around from worksheet to worksheet. He sure had an odd and very distracting way of completing his homework. He also frequently got up from his seat to pace around. I decided to do my best to ignore it.

Thankfully, the stain remover I invented took all his equations off the walls. I read over them again as I erased each one, double checking the calculations. They were uncomfortably similar to some of the most difficult calculations I could do.

Maybe Alvin really WAS a genius! Or maybe he was very good at faking it? Yeah. He'd been watching a lot of shows with smart characters. He could be memorizing things they write and things they say. There's no way his mindpower matches mine.

Case in point, when I was finished cleaning off the wall, Alvin had vanished AGAIN. I heard rattling around in my lab and leapt into action. He better not start tampering with my inventions. Some of those could KILL him if he's not careful.

I entered the lab and saw Alvin sitting at my desk watching my Newton's cradle decoration. Click, clack, click, clack. The metal balls swung back and forth and Alvin's eyes watched them with an intent focus I'd never seen before. I almost didn't want to disturb him, but we still had work to do.

"What have I told you about going in my lab without permission?" I asked, grabbing the Newton's Cradle away so it couldn't distract him anymore.

He blinked and shook his head. Then, he blurted out… "Hey, do you think we could invent a Time Machine like in the movie Hot Tub Time Machine?"

"You have a long way to go before you're ready to be my lab assistant." I reminded Alvin sharply.

"I dunno." He spun around in the chair and then put his feet on the desk. "I feel like I have come a long way. Maybe you just don't see it." He launched into another scientific explanation. "You gotta really observe me. We each create our own reality based on what we observe. That's like quantum physics 101."

He wanted to try and use science to explain himself? Two could play that game. "That also means that you create your own reality based on what you observe, and right now you appear to have created a reality of denial and overexaggeration."

"Huh?" A high pitched voice came from the exit of the closet lab. Theodore was standing there trying to make sense of our conversation.

"We're discussing the mysteries of the universe." Alvin told Theo. "You're welcome to join in."

Theodore frowned. He knew this was above his skill level. Still, he walked inside and decided to join us. I'm not sure why.

"I don't know much about the universe." The boy in the green hoodie squeaked softly. "So, it's a pretty big mystery."

Alvin continued to touch my things without asking. He wheeled out a whiteboard and started drawing a diagram on it. "Did you know that our universe is likely only one out of INFINITE universes?"

"Well, that's just a theory. It's never been proven." I told Alvin. "However, there is scientific evidence to back it up….so I guess you aren't totally wrong." I looked at the whiteboard sternly. "Don't touch my things without asking, please."

"My apologies, dear brother." Alvin said in a very scholarly tone that he was clearly putting on for show. "Would you rather I resume writing on the wall?"

"Okay, back it up, I'm lost…" Theodore rubbed his chin. "What do you mean infinite universes?"

"Whenever we make a choice, we change the trajectory of our life." Alvin began. "Now, suppose we made a different choice. Suppose we were still the same people, but under completely different circumstances. I believe that every decision we make creates an alternative reality. I'm gonna use an example. I decided to sign up for physics class by accident instead of music appreciation. Somewhere out there, there's another Alvin who signed up for music appreciation instead. He never discovered his hidden love of science. Heck, there's probably an Alvin who decided to take the agriculture class with Jeanette too, or maybe one who decided not to take any extracurriculars."

"There's even an Alvin, theoretically speaking, who never tried to win the Most Improved award." I added, filled with a mixture of confusion and pride. Alvin had studied hard, and it showed.

Theodore raised his hand. "So if there's a lot of Alvins, does that mean there's a lot of Simons and mes too?"

"Theoretically, yes." Alvin and I both chorused together. That was strange. Alvin looked as weirded out by it as I did.

My baby brother blinked his brown eyes. "What does theoretically mean?"

"It's a fancier way of saying "in theory." Again, Alvin and I talked at exactly the same time. Unsettling. Very unsettling. I guess now I could tell that Alvin and I DO in fact share the same gene pool.

"Right." Now Theo was visibly unsettled by the little hive mind that had formed between Alvin and I as well.

Alvin drew some more diagrams on the board. "I think, if Si and I work together, we could find a way to visit different dimensions. We could meet alternative versions of us!"

"I thought we were talking about universes." Theodore was confused. "When did we switch to dimensions?"

"Universes, dimensions, realities. All words that mean the same thing in this context." I clarified.

"Ohhhh." The boy in green nodded.

Alvin smiled widely. "They're synonyms!"

I blinked. Why was Alvin using complicated vocabulary? You'd think he downloaded the entire dictionary into the language center of his brain. The last time I recall him doing this was when he changed his personality to avoid being Brittany's fated Mystic Mate. That magazine quiz shook both of them up.

EUREKA! That was it! I couldn't believe it had taken me so long to realize it. Alvin was still upset about his popularity being revealed as a sham. This new "genius" persona he had crafted was an attempt to ignore those feelings. He thought that the opposite of popular was nerdy outcast, and thanks to the placebo effect, he reacted accordingly. Thus, the total transformation into Mr. Physics Nerd.

Theodore's voice cut into my thoughts. "Well, you guys enjoy your cinnamons and universal stuff and I'm going to go eat some cinnamon buns cuz now I'm hungry for them." He misinterpreted the word synonym as cinnamon. How adorable and very in character for Theodore.

"Save me one, please." I requested, before turning back to Alvin. "Physicists have been trying to crack interdimensional travel for years with no luck. Besides, that's a little too ambitious for our first project together, don't ya think?"

"Yeah, you're right." He sighed.

DID ALVIN JUST TELL ME I WAS RIGHT!? What is happening to him?

"You have to think smaller." I patted his head.

He looked up at me hopefully. "But maybe someday in the far far future, we could totally do it."

I didn't want to burst his bubble. "Totally." I responded. Now, it was time to ask the more important question. "Alvin, are you feeling okay?"

"Positively splendid!" He exclaimed. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh I don't know." I rolled my eyes. "Maybe because you're not acting like your usual self and I'm worried that losing your popularity broke something inside you."

"Uh…I guess it did break me." He took off his cap and fidgeted with it. "I haven't really felt like myself since. I wanna be good ol classic Alvin, but I've never felt further from him…err me."

I knew it! It didn't take a rocket scientist to see what was happening. Alvin was having an identity crisis. Because he had ingrained Mr. Popularity into a core part of his identity, losing his status had rendered him aimless. He kept trying to shove physics into the hole in his psyche. It was basically the glue holding him together. This was bad. Very very bad.

"Well, re-inventing yourself can be therapeutic." I told him. Although, the last time anything like this happened, he dressed like Michael Jackson and bought a llama. I decided I needed to lay some more ground rules. "But, if you buy another llama, Dave will kill you."

Alvin was baffled at the notion. "What? When did I do that?"

Of course he didn't remember. Mind like a steel trap my furry tail! "Quite a while ago, during your last identity crisis."

His blue eyes blinked. "I'm not having an identity crisis." He said in a way that made it clear he believed he really wasn't. "I just don't feel, you know, 100% like myself."

"Who do you feel like?" I questioned, leading my brother out of the lab and back to the mini desks.

He turned a bit pale. "You." He said softly.

I felt my body tense. I could see why Alvin felt like he was turning into me. For the first time in my life I could see a lot of myself in Alvin. That didn't mean he actually WAS turning into me. "Liking physics doesn't make you me." I said firmly.

"No, I know…." He tilted his head, trying to make sense of all this. "But it makes me FEEL like you. And also Jeanette. Because I feel….shy? No, wait, shy isn't the word."

"Self conscious?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah! It's a feeling I don't usually feel, that's for sure."

"Maybe it's because you're still hiding it." I suggested. "If you told everyone, then perhaps you could finally feel proud of your accomplishments instead of self conscious. And an A in physics class is a BIG accomplishment."

Alvin got up to pace again. "I want to tell everyone, really I do." His pupils shrank to pin pricks as he stared off into the distance in horror. " It's gonna change how people treat me. I want that, but I also don't want that. Because then I can't manipulate situations to my advantage anymore. They'd be less predictable."

That's a new one! "I knew it! I knew you do that! This is the first time you've ever admitted it!" I smiled. "You little mastermind."

"Well, not always on purpose." Alvin went on. "I see a goal and then I just focus on that one goal and do whatever it takes to accomplish it. I didn't even realize how much I manipulate people until recently."

"Wait….really?" I couldn't fathom being a genius who was completely and blissfully unaware of it. Maybe all these years I'd been reading Alvin wrong. Maybe even ALVIN had been reading Alvin wrong.

He nodded and then sat down again, working on a math problem. "Uh huh. And I really don't wanna tell Britt tomorrow. I promised myself I would, but I am TERRIFIED." He walked away from the desk again after finishing the problem and flopped down on his bed.

I decided that the homework was a lost cause at this point. Alvin needed my help with his "not identity crisis" I sat down on my bed and faced the anxiety ridden chipmunk. He'd always been high strung, but since when did Alvin have THIS much anxiety?

What would make Alvin feel better? What would convince him to tell Brittany? "You've gotta tell Britt soon." I warned. "Cheesy knows and he's famously a blabbermouth."

"Cheesy knows! AW NUTS!, Cheesy knows!" Alvin paced around atop his bed. "I am attached to an inclined plane by being wrapped helically around an axis!"

There he goes with the overly complicated words again. I sighed. "I am begging you. Just say "screwed."

My brother in the red glasses looked puzzled. "But it's more fun to say it the other way. It's like I picked up a whole new language. You know I've always WANTED to speak another language, but French was never my thing."

I realized something else at that moment. For every drop of supposed genius that had somehow been gifted to him, there were still 3 or 4 drops of natural Alvin stupidity. I suppose that made sense though. Alvin had just figured out he was a lot smarter than he previously thought. He was a newborn nerd opening his eyes for the first time. As weird as it was, I owed it to him to supply a crash course in how to be less annoying about his genius.

Because of COURSE Alvin would show off. That was what he did, always. I foolishly assumed this sudden enlightenment would change his thought process entirely. That's not how it works. It was up to me to mold him into the kind of intellectual that didn't go all Dr. Sheldon Cooper on everyone. I had my work cut out for me.

"Okay, ground rules." I slid off my bed and onto the floor, where I started to pace. "I can't believe I'm about to say all this to you." It seemed so STRANGE! "Rule number one of being highly intelligent is, if you talk to people using complicated words all the time, most people are not going to take you seriously…or attempt to understand you. Only the other intellectuals can, and there are VERY few of us."

Alvin rolled his eyes and hung upside down off the bed. "You talk like that."

I frowned. He had noticed? Had he picked up his vocabulary skills from ME? "On occasion, yes. Not all the time. And I know who I can talk that way with and who I can't." I informed him.

"Got it." He started to fidget with a rubix cube he'd pilfered from my lab. "Less wordy, more cut to the chase."

"Rule number 2. You cannot talk back to your teachers. I don't care if they are boring. I don't care if you're smarter than they are. It's inappropriate. It will get you in trouble." I continued.

"Urgh! Fine. Even Miss. Smith?" He asked.

I crossed my arms. "Especially Miss. Smith!"

Alvin was now hopelessly bored. This wasn't off to a great start. "How many more rules are there?"

I let out another sigh and continued my list. I hoped that he would glean a fraction of this information. It was all very important. I took great pleasure in showing my budding protégé the ropes.

SIMON: Your turn again, Alvin. If you need me, I'll be watching the discovery channel.

ALVIN: Are you sure you aren't gonna watch Equestria Girls for the 12th time?

SIMON: Don't make me slap you.

ALVIN: Fine! Fine! Moving on! Here we go! Coming up, I MIGHT finally break the news to Britt. Ya don't wanna miss it, folks.

Genius Alvin's POV

As Si droned on and on about the perils of being super smart, I began to regret my decision to tell him about my brain upgrade. I know he was only trying to help, but all his nagging was understimulating me again. My thoughts grew fuzzy and my mind went blank.

Until I heard…

"Rule number 83 is, avoid bragging as much as you can." Did Simon know me? Avoid bragging? There's not an Alvin in the whole multiverse that can do that! "Especially about IQ scores, because IQ is an inherently flawed system that doesn't account for the vast variation in…"

I cut Simon off. It was time to, well, brag. "Oh speaking of IQ, mine's 155 now." I said.

My blue clad bro's eye twitched. "R…Really? How do you know?"

"Cuz I took that online test thing again." I brought up the photo on my phone and showed him the result. "I scored 102 last time, but this time I got 155."

His eyes grew even wider than they had when I broke the news that I love studying physics. "How is that possible?"

I didn't know exactly. Still blamed the aliens. I came up with something quick and believable on the spot. "Well, the questions were easier to focus on without people laughing at me while I took it."

"One point above my IQ." I heard Simon mutter angrily. "The universe is playing the biggest joke on me."

Ohoho! He was JEALOUS! For once, Simon, Favorite Genius Goody Two Shoes Simon was jealous of little old me. "What was that? I thought you said IQ is an inherently flawed system? Do you care?" I taunted.

"No, of course not." My younger bro lied.

"Good." I smirked my classic smirk. "Cuz it's only one point, ya know, no biggie."

Simon broke the pencil he'd been holding in half. "Yep. Not. A. Problem." He lied again.

I needed a good subject change. ZAP! Idea! I would show Simon some of my doodles from class. I raced over and grabbed my notebook, flipping through it to find a drawing of Simon's robot son. His name was Geizmo and Si built him basically for no other reason than to prove he could. I, on the other hand, had some nice practical ideas for upgrading Geizmo. Improving him, if you will. I'm all about improvement these days.

"Oh, hey, before I forget, I have this FANTASTIC idea for giving Geizmo water canons that shoot out of his hands. That squirting bowtie thing is pretty lame, you know, cuz bowties are lame." I said excitedly.

Simon handed me back the drawing. He wasn't impressed. "I'm very happy with Geizmo the way I designed him."

"Ya sure?" I stuck out my lower lip. I just wanted to help. I wanted to be a part of Simon's team.

"Positive." He responded, likely still fuming over my new IQ score. "Let's finish our homework."

We just managed to squeeze in the homework before dinnertime. I'm pretty sure I did the best I could. Hey, maybe my ego was coming back bit by bit. I was getting very confident in my academic capabilities.

During dinner, Dave looked right at me like I'd done something wrong. "Alvin, Miss. Smith called today."

"Whst did she say?" Yep. Definitely something wrong. I maaay have been a little menace in class to throw people off. Hopefully, if Cheesy had spilled my secret, no one would believe him.

"That your latest book report needs to be redone. She said it was a good try, but your grammar was horrible." My dad scooped me a bowl of salad. Not the pasta variety this time, just boring salad.

I groaned. "Can't we just leave it at "good try?"

"Now now now, Alvin." Simon taunted me. "That's not what the Most Improved student would do."

I hissed at him. Chipmunks, similarly to cats, tend to do that when extremely angry.

"No hissing at the table." Dave scolded.

Theodore kept to himself and ate his salad. I wonder what he was thinking.

Using my new understanding of physics, I turned my fork into a catapult and sent an olive flying in Dave's direction. It hit him right in the nose, exactly where I aimed. Hey, does a catapult count as a simple machine? Or a compound machine?

"Ow! Alvin!" My father glared at me with his amber eyes.

"Sorry! Accident!" I lied. "I was trying to launch it into the bowl over there."

"What has he told you about goofing off and playing with food?" Simon scolded me just like Dave.

"Not to. It won't happen again." I spoke begrudgingly.

I began to second guess my decision to launch the olive. Was goofing off something the new Alvin would do? Well DUH! I mean I wanted to goof off. And I WAS the new Alvin, ergo, that meant it was something he would do.

"Goofing off is beneath you." The nerdy voice in my head insisted. "You're too smart for that now."

"Nah. Me being smart just makes it EASIER to goof off." I told it. I would have stuck out my tongue too, if the nerdy entity guiding me was a physical person. Where did this voice come from anyway?

"I've always been here, Alvin." Creepy. So creepy.

Anyway, dinner concluded and I helped with the dishes this time. Dave was clearly weirded out by it, but he took it in stride. I dunno why I did it, maybe it was the guilt from messing around compelling me to be helpful? Or perhaps it's because my homework was basically done and I still had free time.

I went upstairs and loaded up Galactic Invaders on my game console. Time to enjoy blasting some virtual aliens back to their planet! I didn't get very far though.

Simon held up my book report and waved it in my face. "Your writing is atrocious. We need to work on it."

I scowled. "It's beautiful cursive!" I protested.

"Oh, the writing looks okay until you actually attempt to read it. It's basically incomprehensible. No wonder you've been asked to redo it." Simon quipped.

I shrugged. "Hey, I might be an intellectual now, but I can't spell to save my life. Any tips?"

"You can't keep spelling words the way they sound." He informed me in that tone that made me feel stupid. Or at least, it USUALLY did. Now I was uplifted and I couldn't feel stupid anymore. "I don't know if you realize this, but there are these things called silent letters." He went on.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, if they're so important, they should speak up." I joked.

He facepalmed, which I expected.

"You okay?" I poked at him and turned my game off. I was getting bored with it anyway.

Simon waved his arms around the way I usually did. "I don't understand. Your letters were so beautifully written. All the grammar was PERFECT!"

I chuckled nervously. "Yeah. Cuz Jeanette edited them."

"That explains it." He looked a bit less aggravated. "I'm glad to hear my spelling bee championship record will remain untouched."

"Knock knock!" Said a voice coming from the window ledge. "Guess who!"

I recognized the voice immediately. It was my good pal Warbie! My best birdie friend forever. I hadn't told him about my new abilities yet. Oh, and speaking of abilities, Warbie couldn't always talk, but he does now. It's all thanks to a little misshap with Simon's vocabulary serum thing.

"Good evening, Warbie." Simon waved to the little bird.

"What's shakin'?" I asked, letting him fly in and land on my finger.

"Oh, you know, the usual." He chirped. "Flying around, watching humans be dumb."

"Warbie!" Theodore ran into the room and reached out to pet the yellow warbler on my finger. "Nice to see ya."

This was a good segway into what I wanted to say. "Speaking of dumb, turns out, I'm not." I boasted. "I have an IQ of 155."

"I said not to brag about your IQ score." Simon frowned. "You never listen."

Warbie tilted his head. "And that means?"

Theo explained it in the worst way possible. "Alvin has a Simon brain too."

"Wait, really? So Alvin's a dweebus!?" Warbie laughed. "Hahaha!"

"I'm not a dweebus!" I insisted, knowing that I was at least HALF a dweebus. I sure hoped my inner dweebus wouldn't spread and consume my soul.

Simon raised his pointer finger in the air. "Technically, just being smart doesn't make one a dweebus." Ohoho! Thank you, bro. And then he ruined it. "But in THIS case, Alvin is in fact a dweebus."

I sighed. "But I'm also still cool!" I added.

"It's very weird." Theo added. "But this is who Alvin wants to be now."

"Dr. Wilson's class has transformed me. Like the mighty phoenix, rising from the ashes of despair, I am REBORN!" I reached my arm for the ceiling and Warbie flew off to perch on Theo's shoulder.

"You would make such a great writer." Simon remarked, finding my comparison charming. "If only you used proper grammar and could spell."

I scoffed. "You still on that?"

Theodore's brown eyes lit up with an idea. "Maybe you could teach him! And me too!"

"No no no no no!" I didn't want to get any nerdier than I already was. "I don't wanna challenge your spelling bee record, remember, Simon?"

"You'll never be taken seriously as an intellectual if you can't spell." My brother in blue pointed out.

"How very ableist of you, Si." I teased.

"Who needs spelling?" Warbie interjected. "Talking is so much better than spelling."

Simon rubbed his chin. "Would you agree to a short English lesson, if I could make it fun?"

My nerdy impulses took hold again. "Maybe." I didn't want to say that.

"I would!" Theo squeaked, enthusiastically.

Warbie shrugged…I think. Hard to tell with wings. "I'm in. Not that I NEED to know."

"Excellent." Simon wheeled out the whiteboard from his lab and washed off my scribbly multiverse diagram. Rude. "Now, how many of you like Weird Al Yankovic?"

"Are you kidding?" I squealed like a fanboy. "He's the greatest musical parody guy ever! Even better than me!" Another first. I normally did not admit I thought ANYONE was better than me out loud.

Simon chuckled and then turned on some music. "This'll be fun!" He said.

What followed was a Weird Al song I'd never heard before called Word Crimes. It was something, let me tell you. Simon looked like he was having a ball and I didn't have the heart to tell him that I was pretty much distracted the entire time he was writing stuff on the whiteboard.

He was just so ANIMATED! His facial expressions as he was singing were HILARIOUS! I hoped that even though I wasn't fully listening to every lyric, some of the lessons he was trying to teach would get absorbed anyway.

"Everyone listen up!

Hey, hey, hey, uh

Hey, hey, hey"

This song was really catchy! I liked it so far! I can't believe I am saying that.

"If you can't write in the proper way

If you don't know how to conjugate

Maybe you flunked that class

And maybe now you find

That people mock you online"

People do mock me online, but not because of my poor grammar. they have various other reasons.

"Okay, now here's the deal

I'll try to educate ya

Gonna familiarize

You with the nomenclature

You'll learn the definitions

Of nouns and prepositions

Literacy's your mission

And that's why I think it's a

Good time

To learn some grammar

Now, did I stammer

Work on that grammar

You should know when

It's "less" or it's "fewer"

Like people who were

Never raised in a sewer."

Well, that's rude, Simon. I was not raised in a sewer. I am not a teenage mutant ninja turtle.

"I hate these word crimes

Like I could care less

That means you do care

At least a little

Don't be a moron

You'd better slow down

And use the right pronoun

Show the world you're no clown

Everybody wise up!"

I didn't feel wise at the moment, but he didn't have to rub it in.

"Say you got an "I", "T"

Followed by apostrophe, "s"

Now what does that mean?

You would not use "it's" in this case

As a possessive

It's a contraction

What's a contraction?

Well, it's the shortening of a word, or a group of words

By the omission of a sound or letter"

I could tell Theo and Warbie didn't know what to think either. Both of them bobbed their heads to the beat.

"Okay, now here's some notes

Syntax you're always mangling

No "x" in "espresso"

Your participle's danglin'

But I don't want your drama

If you really wanna

Leave out that Oxford comma

Just keep in mind

That "be", "see", "are", "you"

Are words, not letters

Get it together

Use your spellchecker

You should never

Write words using numbers

Unless you're seven

Or your name is Prince"

How long was this stupid song anyway? Go off, Simon, but keep it truncated. How the heck do I know a word like truncated?

"I hate these word crimes

You really need a

Full time proofreader

You dumb mouth-breather

Well, you should hire

Some cunning linguist

To help you distinguish

What is proper English"

Simon broke out into a faster rap. It was actually really cool. It would have been cooler if he wasn't making fun of me the entire time. This song was kinda mean.

"One thing I ask of you

Time to learn your homophones is past due

Learn to diagram a sentence too

Always say "to whom"

Don't ever say "to who"

And listen up when I tell you this

I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis

You finished second grade

I hope you can tell

If you're doing good or doing well"

Yeah, I get it, Simon. SHEESH! I'll work on my grammar! I promise!

"You better figure out the difference

Irony is not coincidence

And I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull

What's figurative and what's literal

Oh but, just now, you said

You literally couldn't get out of bed

That really makes me want to literally

Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head"

The feeling is mutual. HOW LONG IS THIS SONG!? YOU SAID THE LESSON WOULD BE SHORT!

"I read your e-mail

It's quite apparent

Your grammar's errant

You're incoherent

Saw your blog post

It's really fantastic

That was sarcastic

You still write like you're classic"

Because Classic Alvin and Genius Alvin are in here together. "Don't bring classic me into this." I huffed. By now, Theo was confused and Warbie was falling asleep.

"I hate these Word Crimes

Your prose is dopey

Think you should only

Write in emoji"

Simon finally noticed how spaced out we all were. He scowled.

"Oh, you're a lost cause

Go back to pre-school

Get out of the gene pool

Try your best to not drool

Never mind I give up

Really now I give up."

"Does this mean the song's over?" I asked, yawning. I was getting tired.

My brother in blue wheeled the whiteboard away. "Yeah. I hope you understood at least some of that."

"I didn't get much." Theodore said honestly. "You went so fast…and there were all those letters."

"I won't write words using numbers. Cuz my name isn't Prince." I said, repeating a line from the song to convince Simon I had actually paid more attention to it than I did.

"That was really good, Simon." Warbie complimented my bro. "You have a nice voice. Anyway, I should probably head back to the birdhouse now. Goodnight. Always nice to see you guys."

"I'll keep ya updated on my budding genius." I promised him.

With that, we all got ready for bed. I knew I had a HUGE hurdle to jump at school tomorrow. I wasn't looking forward to it.

I met up with Brittany the next day before school began. She was sitting on a bench in front of the school, touching up her makeup. My stomach flipped and flopped like a fish. I wasn't ready for this. I knew I had to be ready for this.

"Salutations, Britt." I said, shocking myself. That wasn't how I usually greeted her or ANYBODY. The nerdiness was either reaching for more crevices of my brain, or I'd learned the word from one of the TV shows I watched.

"Oh, hey Simo…." Her brows furrowed when she saw it was me.

I waved to her awkwardly. "Alvin, actually, but I can understand the confusion." What to say next? I tugged at the hem of my crimson T shirt with a cheerful yellow A. It was my gym outfit. The one with the cyan accents around the collar and sleeves.

"What's been going on with you?" Brittany demanded. "You've been acting like a different person."

"Any alterations you perceive in my behavior are merely your imagination deceiving you." I retorted, my scholarly tone thicker than butter.

She tucked her compact away. "Did you swallow a dictionary or something?"

"Not to my knowledge." I replied, sweating. Why was I so awkward? My A doesn't stand for Awkward!

"Are you sure you aren't Simon in Alvin's body?" She quipped, crossing one leg over the other.

I honestly FELT like Simon in Alvin's body, but I denied it. "Yes! WAIT! Why would you think that?"

"I know about the body swapping device that switched you and Jeanette on Wacky Wednesday!" Brittany revealed, a playful smirk crossing her beautiful face.

I was frozen to the spot, still sweating. "Drat. Who told you?"

She looked at her nails for a brief moment. "Uh….Jeanette. She tells me everything." She looked back up at me

I gulped. "Everything?" Crap! There was no getting out of this. I had to break the horrendous and life changing news to her, before Jeanette slipped up. "Hey, Britt, so uh….ya know how I promised to introduce you to the girl I've been dating?"

"I do. Why?" She asked.

Time to rip that metaphorical band aid clean off. "Well, here she is." I pulled Simon's Advanced Quantum Mechanics book out of my backpack and set it on the bench next to the girl in pink.

Brittany picked up the book and raised an eyebrow. "I don't understand."

"Yeah. I get the feeling you'll be saying that a lot regarding me from now on." I replied. I didn't understand me either.

She sighed. "Just get to the point, weirdo."

How to explain it? "Okay okay, you know how I always like…talk about how I have similar brain juice stuff to Simon, but it takes mine a while to juice up from normal to genius?"

"Yeah." She looked disinterested.

I chuckled nervously. "Well, uh, turns out that's a way better analogy than I thought."

"Again, what's your point?" She put the book down.

Here goes nothing! "Turns out, Britt, I'm….I'm ACTUALLY a genius. I've had the potential sitting inside me to learn super duper hard this whole time….and I LIKE learning." I revealed at last.

"What?" She looked at me like I just grew a second head. Which, I guess I sorta did…like…internally. A second personality in my mind.

I continued to explain. Everything came pouring out. "My "new girlfriend" is…..physics. Everything physics. Ohohoho, it is AWESOME! It explains how things in the world fit together. It makes so much SENSE!"

Brittany looked disgusted. "Are you insane?"

"I kinda wish, but no." Unless having two personalities in the same head is insane. Maybe it is. I dunno.

Britt looked again at the book I set beside her. "Advanced….Quantum Mechanics? ADVANCED?" She shouted in disbelief.

I shrugged. "A Is For Advanced?" I pointed at my shirt.

She started to laugh. She put the book down again and laughed until she was coughing. "Alright, where are the cameras? I'm on some kind of hidden camera show, aren't I?"

I blinked. "What?"

"Nice try, Alvin. I know you're playing an elaborate joke on me." She insisted.

I frowned. "I can see you're gonna need a demonstration." I said, preparing my ever growing arsenal of science factoids.

She gave me an unimpressed stare. "Go for it." She dared.

What should I say? What would possibly make her believe me? I've got it! That soliloquy I memorized from that superhero show that had the sudden super genius kid I related to. No Ordinary Family? Yeah, pretty sure that's the name. I cleared my throat and stood proudly, staring up at the bench.

"What is a football? It's a prolate spheroid, which means a simple vector analysis can be applied to formulate its predictive trajectory. Now, I know what you're probably thinking - "Big whoop, Alvin, this is nothing more than graduate-level Newtonian mechanics, which is basically just a derivation of the laws of Kepler" - but I'm telling you an ordinary differential equation supports this!"

Brittany froze in place. I had blown her feeble mind. "…oh…my…..god."

"Impressive, right?" I boasted.

She remained frozen.

"Brittany? Brittany?"

Still frozen.

"Brittanyyy!" I yelled at her.

That's when Brittany Jewel Miller fainted. It almost looked like she was moving in slow motion. She toppled sideways off of the bench and onto the grass below. The Chipette in the cute pink dress lay there, completely still. She wasn't moving an inch.

Nuts! I may have killed her! I scrambled over and started to shake my best friend "Britt, WAKE UP!" I begged.

This was not the reaction I anticipated. I expected her to be mad I didn't tell her earlier. I expected her to whine about how I was ditching my popularity for science. I expected her to tell me I was making a huge mistake. I even expected her to say we couldn't be friends anymore because she didn't accept my change.

But this? Never in all the chronic overthink did this cross my mind. Was she gonna be okay? Did I come on too strong? I sighed as I sat beside her unconscious body. The truth dawned on me. My confession caused her a complete mental breakdown. What should I do now?

Chapter Text

LOSING IT

Genius Alvin's POV

I had to do what I'd learned to do best. THINK! Oh, sorry, do you need a recap? Probably, huh? Let me think of how to catch ya up to speed.

In the last story, I revealed to Simon and Eleanor that I like studying physics. They both told me I had to tell Britt, so going against my instinct, I told her. She passed out cold, fainted off the bench, and now she won't wake up and I am panicking!

And there ya go. Now you know. What can I do to wake her up? I touched her hair because I know she hates it when I do that. Nothin'. Not even a flinch.

I took my lunch out of my backpack and poured a drop of my water bottle on her. She remained motionless.

I could see only one viable option. I put on my reading glasses and dialed up one of her sisters on my phone. I shouldn't have to tell you which sister. It's pretty obvious.

"Eleanor, I think I killed your sister! Ya gotta help me! I don't wanna wind up stuck in juvenile hall! I was just getting used to regular school!" I said forcefully into the phone.

The youngest Chipette's irritated voice came on the line. "Calm down. What did you do?"

"I told her about my new interests and she just fell on the ground. She's not moving." I replied being totally honest, which was new territory for me, especially regarding my nerdy side.

"She'll be fine." Eleanor assured me.

I didn't know anything for certain. "But but….but…"

"She'll be FINE!" Eleanor repeated.

"Can you come help me wake her up?" I asked.

Eleanor sighed heavily. "Sure, sure. Hold on."

Before I knew it, we were both grabbing Britt and carrying her into the school cafeteria. Eleanor took her feet and I held her head and shoulders as carefully as I could muster. We sat the pink Chipette up and pushed a bowl of chocolate pudding in front of her.

"Once she smells this, she'll be alert." Eleanor insisted.

"I hope so." I murmured. I never wanted this to happen.

Eleanor waved her hand in front of Brittany's face. "Sis! Hey! Sis!"

Eventually Brittany's muted pink and sorta mauve nose gave a small twitch. Her big ice blue eyes opened and she stared directly at me.

I realized I was still wearing my reading glasses and holding my backpack with the physics book sticking out of it. I put the backpack next to me, but I wanted to continue looking at Brittany's face, so I kept the glasses on.

"Welcome back to reality." I said with a chuckle.

She continued to stare at me.

"Britt, you alright?" Eleanor asked, handing Britt a spoon for the chocolate pudding. "Come on, eat something. The sugar helps."

Brittany stared at the pudding and then back at me, then back at the pudding. I couldn't figure out why until she spoke at last. "Is this part of the prank?" She whispered, gesturing to the chocolate pudding.

"No." Eleanor folded her arms and rested them on the table. "There is no prank, Brittany."

I smiled a very awkward half smile. I knew I looked like a total dork.

"You mean Alvin's actually…..actually….a nerd now!?" The strawberry blonde Chipette was horrified.

"Nerdy." I corrected. "But not a nerd."

"Not yet." Said the ominous voice in my head. I gulped. I could practically feel the nerdiness flowing into me. Why else would I have been so awkward talking to Britt? It's like my geek side had compounded or something.

"No way. No no no no no." She shook her head and then took a spoonful of chocolate pudding. "This is not happening."

"It is happening. Or already happened, actually." The girl with the mint stripe shirt pointed at me. "He's been in that physics class all marking period."

I nodded, proud of my accomplishments. "I took my final exam yesterday and I'm waiting for the results."

"You can't be….THIS!" Brittany whined. "You're the guy who goes like…" She picked up two transparent cups from the table and held them to her eyes. Then, she started to imitate a mocking ritual I had done to Simon for years. "Whoooo! Ooooh! Look, I have crazy eyeballs at you, I don't even need glass…..es." She stared at the red glasses on my face. Boy, that teasing had NOT aged well. "Dang it. Wait, that's it! I bet if you take off the glasses, you'll go back to normal!" The Chipette in pink tried to snatch them away from me.

I dodged her. "I know what you're thinking, but the glasses didn't change me!" I insisted.

"Oh really?" Brittany scoffed. "Because I recall you saying that the minute you put them on you started to like reading books….which has apparently switched from monster books to science books." She pointed to my backpack with a trembling finger.

I rolled my eyes, which I was starting to do almost as much as Simon. YIKES! "Yes, glasses helped me see well enough to read. Very astute observation." I clapped sarcastically.

She took another spoonful of pudding. "I was worried this would happen if you didn't become popular again quickly." She moaned. "You're messing with the delicate balance of things."

"Alvin not being popular isn't the end of the world." Eleanor put a comforting hand on her sister's back.

"Plus, you know, it's not like I can't be smart and popular." I said, wishing that were true, but knowing exactly how this school operates.

"You CAN'T." Brittany looked devastated. "Alvin, you need to think long and hard about what you want. Because once people know about this….nothing will ever be the same again." She pushed the half finished chocolate pudding over to Eleanor.

The pigtailed Chipette scarfed it down hungrily.

"I think….I think…." I couldn't believe I was about to say it. "I'm ready for everyone to know. At least, everyone at school. Maybe not Dave yet."

"Fine." Brittany's lip stiffened. "That is your decision. I just hope you know what you've gotten yourself into."

"He does." Eleanor added. "Right, Alvin?"

I had no idea what I'd gotten myself into. All I knew was that I would start being known as the physics nerd I was. I figured that my Alvinness would somehow allow me to make nerding out seem cool. "Right."

"Also, I'm the last Chipmunk to know!?Last!? YOU TOLD ELEANOR BEFORE ME!?" Brittany poked my chest with her pointy nail. "I thought we were friends!"

"We are!" I assured her.

"Then why did you hide this from me!?" She stood up on the cafeteria table.

I rolled my eyes again. "I think ya answered your own question when you fainted out of the chair when I told ya."

"He's got a point, sis." Eleanor squeaked. "Anyway, since you're awake now, I'm gonna head to class. I'll give you two lovebirds some alone time."

Brittany and I both turned red in the face. "We are not lovebirds!" We both shouted.

The pigtailed Chipette cackled and then vanished from our sight. We never even saw her leave. It was just poof! Gone! Vamoose!

I opened my backpack and took out the physics book again. "You should give science a chance, Britt. The world is AMAZING! And most people don't even realize just how amazing it is! Everything fits together! It all makes sense! Here, I'll teach you. We'll start with the basics…"

She stared at me again, still not fully believing my transformation. "You're…..You're REALLY A GENIUS!? Like for real? You have a brain like Simon's!?"

I nodded. "Technically it's just heightened cognitive function facilitated by rapid somatic transfer between neurons. But, essentially like Simon's, yes, and Jeanette's. Why does everyone always forget Jeanette?" Jeanette and Eleanor always get left out. It really isn't fair.

"You can't be a genius!" Brittany said adamantly. "You CAN'T! It's not possible."

I shrugged. "That's what I thought too. Apparently I was wrong!"

Then she said something that would stick with me the rest of my life. "Oh my god. You're not Alvin anymore."

"What?" I frowned. Then, I forced a smile. I couldn't let her know she'd succeeded in making me second guess myself. "Of course I am."

"No, you aren't. Alvin wouldn't act like you. Alvin is a complete doofus." She got up from the table and started to walk away.

I followed her, my heart pounding. "Britt, it's still me." She HAD to know it was me. A new hobby doesn't alter the fundamental fabric of your personality.

"Get back! Stay back! I'm warning you!" She growled, trying to move away from me. "What are you? Are you a robot that Simon built? A ghost of a famous scientist possessing Alvin's body? Simon, are you in Alvin's body!?" She started to cry heavy tears. I'd never seen her sob so hard before. "Did the glasses really turn my best friend into…this?"

"Britt, I know it's hard to believe, but I haven't changed, you know, that much." I insisted, starting to question whether that was true either. I FELT changed. I had FELT changed since the day I lost my popularity.

"Leave." Brittany sobbed, running for the door. "Leave me alone! NOW! I can't stand to be around you right now, okay? I just want my best friend back."

I looked at her with a defeated expression on my face. "Okay, I'll go." I said. "But I'll still be in class, so you're gonna see me then."

"I can't believe you would willingly throw everything away for a stupid science book." She spat. "You aren't Simon. Stop trying to be Simon. The world needs you, Alvin. I need you." That was the last I saw of her until class began. I was trembling with dread. I expected parts of this reaction, but what shook me the most was that one thing she said.

Was I even Alvin anymore? Or just Simon with a baseball cap? Alvins aren't supposed to be intellectual. They're schemers, dreamers, charismatic and….popular. Maybe I wasn't really Alvin anymore.

But, if I wasn't really Alvin, at least not Alvin in the way people knew him, then logically that meant I could be anything I wanted to be. And I wanted to be a genius guy with all the answers to everything. I made up my mind that day, I was going to show the entire school my new superpower.

ALVIN: Britt's my next guest narrator, so prepare for some nonsense.

BRITTANY: I heard that!

ALVIN: It's true!

BRITTANY: I was only worried about you. You barely tell me anything.

ALVIN: And when I do tell ya stuff, ya faint.

BRITTANY: Get out of here.

Brittany's POV

After "Alvin" broke the bad news to me, I ran to the bathroom to wash the tears off my face. It felt like my entire world was crumbling around me. Why couldn't this have been a practical joke? Why did he actually have to go and become the exact opposite of his old self?

There was a reason I cared about that dummy so much. It had taken me a long time to admit the reason, but I knew it now. I had a crush on him. I'd had it since the day he defended me when Amber and Annie were being catty B words. I'd been nice to him after, which creeped him out.

Long story short, he thought I was an alien because he loves reading those awful alien invasion books. I told him I was over him. I told myself I was over him. I wasn't over him at all!

I busted my tail paying people to pretend he was well liked and popular. I did it because I loved him. I didn't want to see him get hurt. I knew if he ever found out, it would break him. I just didn't think he'd TURN INTO A DANG NERD!

Nerdiness is weird. I've seen it suck in a lot of people. Sometimes it's just a phase and they escape it. Other times, they just become another run of the mill nerd. Slowly, people start to forget who they were before.

I could NOT let that happen to Alvin. It was ALVIN, for cryin' out loud. He was always very against anything even remotely nerdy. He was always teasing Simon for being a nerd, although weirdly he never teased my sister Jeanette for being one.

I knew him hanging out with Kevin and Cheesy so much was a bad idea. They probably put ideas in his head. They made him try new things, leave his comfort zone….and now he wanted ME to leave my comfort zone and give PHYSICS a chance!? No way!

But what power did I have to stop the changes? Alvin would never listen to me. He was too busy enjoying his new giant brain. I sulked to class, wondering what would become of my best friend. Would he be one of the phases? Or was he going to stay like this….(gulp)….FOREVER!?

I entered the classroom and took my seat. I felt like I was going to throw up. I'd cried so hard that there was pressure in my forehead.

"Are you alright?" Jeanette asked me, her allergies were still bad, but they were slightly better than yesterday.

I clenched my jaw. "I just found out Alvin wants to be a nerd now." I told her. "I don't understand why."

"Personal growth?" My sister suggested.

I doubted it. Alvin Seville doesn't DO personal growth. The whole Most Improved Award business wasn't even personal growth. It was just so he could get his picture in the yearbook. He was SUPPOSED to go back to normal. He promised me he would.

None of this was normal. I watched as the chipmunk who called himself Alvin, but barely acted like Alvin, put his fingers on his forehead and closed his eyes.

"What are you doing?" Simon asked his irritating brother.

The red capped geek spoke in a weird way. "I'm organizing my thoughts. I have to keep my eyes closed to prevent distractions caused by external phenomena."

"Of course you are." Simon groaned, before suddenly looking interested in it. "Is it working?"

"Uhhh….slightly." The geeky boy opened his eyes. "Yeah, actually, everything feels pretty organized now."

Who was this guy? And where was my Alvie? Also, what was I supposed to call this person who was very obviously NOT ALVIN!?

You may think I'm exaggerating, but here are some of the ridiculous things "Alvin" said during classes today.

In history class, he was all like "Do you want to know the architecture behind historical castles?"

Then in math class he walked up to the board without Miss. Smith even calling on him and just started solving all the equations. And he was RIGHT! Miss. Smith almost fainted the way I had!

In English class, he was caught with his nose in that Quantum book thing. Simon took it from him and tried to force him to pay attention to the lesson.

Science class was the worst. He kept connecting physics to everything. His hand was in the air more than Simon and Jeanette's and he wouldn't stop babbling. Matter, velocity, force….Then he rambled about the "event horizon." I don't even know what that is!

When science class ended, he was asked to stay after. The rest of us went to the lunchroom.

"Let's sit together today, okay?" I told my sisters, Simon, and Theodore. "We have some important matters to discuss."

"Would you like to hear about the compost we're making in my agriculture class?" Jeanette asked.

Ewwww. No. "We'll get to that." I told her, hoping we wouldn't. "I just want to talk about "you know who" first."

"Do you mean Alvin?" Theodore took a bite of his triple decker peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"No, I mean Santa Claus." I snapped. "Of course I mean Alvin."

"Isn't he wonderful?" My sister in purple fidgeted with the bow hanging from her bun. "He's learned so much."

"He won't shut up about physics." I folded my arms. "I don't know who this kid is or where he came from, but I would like to return him and get the REAL Alvin back."

"This is unsettling and weird." At least Simon agreed with me. "However, it's something he genuinely enjoys. We can't just take that away from him."

I scowled. "There's something wrong with him."

"He still seems like Alvin to me." Jeanette squeaked, nibbling a cracker. Clearly she was blind even with her glasses.

"There's definitely….parts of Alvin there." Simon added. "Although subdued."

"He's like half Alvin." Theodore added, taking another bite of his sandwich and dripping jelly on his hoodie.

Eleanor nodded, because she usually takes Theo's side. "Yeah. Half Alvin. That seems right."

"No. He's not Alvin AT ALL." I insisted. They couldn't see what I could see. They weren't close enough to him. They didn't know who he wanted to be.

"Becoming overly obsessed with a singular topic and annoying everyone to death is pure Alvin." Simon told me, frowning. I could tell he was very worried about the strange guy who claimed to be his brother.

I bit into an apple slice and swallowed. "Name one other thing Alvin's ever been obsessed with this much."

"Golf caddy-ing." Eleanor offered.

"Fire safety." Added Jeanette

Simon thought for a second before saying "Music."

Theodore tapped his chin. "Uhhhh….I know there's stuff, oh oh wait! Monsters! Aliens! Carnival rides!"

My sister in purple raised her hand. "The waterpark."

"Chess." Simon spoke calmly, with a hint of worry that he was trying to mask. "He wanted to join the chess club to impress a girl once and talked my ear off about chess a week after until he lost interest."

"Well at least he lost interest." I commented bitterly. Alvin playing chess? For fun? Not on my watch!

Jeanette said something that caused me to worry even more. "I'm still…uh…teaching him how to play chess. He doesn't know much, but he's a fast learner."

ALVIN WAS NOT A FAST LEARNER! HE WAS INCAPABLE OF LEARNING A LESSON WITHOUT FORGETTING IT!

"There's something wrong with him. Seriously wrong." I shuddered.

"I don't think it's seriously wrong." Theodore squeaked. "It's just different. Hard to get used to."

I could see I needed to prove it to them. Fortunately, I found a poem "Alvin" wrote during writing class. It had been crumpled up and shoved in one of the pouches on his backpack. I know I shouldn't have been snooping, but my best friend's entire personality was at stake here!

"He's losing his mind." I told them, my voice catching in my throat. "Just look at this."

I set the crinkled paper with the poem on it in front of them. Here's what it said.

My Feelings

By: Alvin Seville

I'm spinning out of CoNtRoL

Nothing's right RiGhT RIGHT anymore

I'm in a DARK room tryin' to find the nearest eXiT, but I think I have my eyes closed.

No signs of a slow down

I'm piNnEd, PinNed, PINNED to the wall

I'm on a BROKEN carnival ride

And I'M the one who got iNsIdE thinkin' it'd be some fun

ST0P M3 b3f0r3 it'5 2 LATE

Oh, oh, 5AV3 me from mySELF

I need to get a GRIP

I think I'm losin' it

Oh, oh, I NEED to get BaCk now

Back to the bEgInNiNg

You got me spinning aRoUnD, ArOuNd

Can't do it my53LF, AR0UND, AR0UND

I R3A11Y NeEd some hEeEelP!

0H 0H, 5AV3 M3 FR0M MY531F

1 N33D 2 G3T A GR1P

1 TH1NK 1'M 1051N' 1T

0H 0H, 1 N33D 2 G3T BACK 2

BaCk 2 TH3 B3G1N1NG

1 TH1NK 1'M 1051N' 1T

"Oh man." Eleanor looked at the note with surprise. "Maybe he really IS losing it."

"Those are lyrics for a song." Theodore said softly. "And I've heard him singing that song a lot lately."

Simon groaned at the note. "I told him not to write words using numbers."

"I think the numbers are symbolic." My youngest sister said. "Math is ruining his life."

"Science AND math." I corrected. "Both things put together are messing with his head."

"And all that watching The Big Bang Theory can't be healthy for a guy." Theo added, his lip trembling.

Jeanette shook her head. "I know the note seems very concerning, but it looks like Alvin's having fun."

Simon bit his lip. "What he's having is an identity crisis. The only problem is, he isn't AWARE he's having an identity crisis."

"If we don't do something…" I stood up. "We'll lose the Alvin we know….FOREVER."

Eleanor nodded in agreement. "All that will be left is some bowtie and sweatervest wearing dork who only talks about science. No offense, Simon."

"None taken." He replied. "And I don't ONLY talk science."

"You guys." Theodore pointed to the doors of the cafeteria. "Here he comes."

In he walked, poindexter extraordinaire. He scampered up to our table and sat down.

"Greetings!" "Alvin" waved at all of us. Then, he turned his head to look at Simon. "Can I have the book back now?"

"I think you need a break from physics." Simon responded. Never thought I'd hear Simon tell someone NOT to talk science.

"What?" The boy in the cap tilted his head. "Why?"

"Because you are obsessed!" Eleanor shouted.

"Figures." The drama king moaned. "I finally find a subject I really connect with, and you wanna take it away from me."

"There is more to life than physics." Theodore said, patting the chipmunk in red's arm.

"No there isn't." His oldest brother insisted. "Physics is EVERYTHING! Did you know that everything is made up of atoms? Like we're all just made up of tiny particles! Isn't it interesting? I mean, Si and Netta know, but I'm talking to the rest of ya."

"Take off the glasses, Alvin." I begged him. "Can't you see what they're doing to you?"

"It's not the glasses." He puffed out his chest. "It's the power of science!"

"You're taking this too far." Simon grabbed his brother by the shoulders. "You can like science, but it can not become your entire life. There's other things that you have to think about."

The red capped boy sighed. "I know. But I broke my brain and now all it CAN think about is physics." He admitted. "I'm trying to control it, but it's hard. Just bear with me."

"Maybe you can make yourself hate science again." I suggested. "Then all the facts will disappear."

"Brittany, I don't think that's a good idea." Jeanette tented her fingers and looked down at the table.

Alvin looked horrified at the thought. "What? No! I can't go back!"

"Don't you want to get back to the beginning though? You wrote about it in your poem?" Theodore handed Alvin the poem I took from him.

Alvin crumpled the poem up and shoved it in the pocket of his jeans. "I don't know WHAT I want." He said. "The poem means nothing."

"Hey, Alvin, I have a question about science. Why does jelly ooze out of a sandwich while peanut butter sticks?" Theodore asked.

"We're supposed to be making him talk LESS about science." I hissed.

"Peanut butter has a higher viscosity. Also, the jelly oozes out because of the force applied to the sandwich…"

I am not proud to admit, I lost my temper. "Say one more thing about science and the next thing you calculate will be the force of my foot up your hiney." I threatened.

"Well, this has been a lovely lunch period." Simon snarked sarcastically.

The bell rang eventually and we hurried back to class. I was now even more worried about Alvin's mental state. I knew in my heart that the poem was a cry for help. The old Alvin was in there somewhere. He wanted out. The new Alvin was trying to erase him. But the question was, why? Why physics? Why being a nerd? What was going on? I sure hoped it was just a phase. I told myself over and over that it MUST be a phase.

ALVIN: It wasn't a phase.

BRITTANY: Don't remind me.

ALVIN: You accept me now, right?

BRITTANY: Yes. I do.

ALVIN: Stupendous!

BRITTANY: Where did that catchphrase come from anyway?

ALVIN: That's coming up in story number 6!

Genius Alvin's POV

I bet you all are wondering why the Smithster kept me after class. Heh heh. That's exactly what I was wondering as I sat in my chair looking up at her imposing form.

"What pray tell is this about?" I inquired.

She stared at me. "You were very disruptive today."

"But I also did almost all my work." I beamed. "Aren't you proud of me?"

"No! You were annoying and rude and your behavior made it hard for anyone else to learn." She told me.

I hadn't realized that would occur. Oops.

"My apologies. I'm still not fully accustomed to using my genius at present." I folded my hands on my desk.

"Stop talking like that!" She ordered.

I blinked. "Talking like what?" Oh the wordiness? That happens when I get nervous. I think it's part of the nerdification process.

"Like….like…." She sighed. "Nevermind."

"May I please leave now?" I requested.

"NO!" She shouted.

Suddenly I was back to sounding like the old me. "Why not?" I moaned. "What else is there to talk about?"

She slapped a sheet of paper onto my desk. "Your grades."

"Stellar, aren't they?" I felt the smile return to my face.

She lost it AGAIN. "NO!" She screamed. "Your grades are NOT stellar."

"Huh?" I couldn't fathom how that was possible. I'd turned into a Simon kind of guy, and he had stellar grades. Logically, the same should be true for me.

Miss. Smith pointed at the report card on my desk. "Take a look, Alvin."

My palms started to sweat, I looked at the report card and adjusted my glasses, to be sure I was reading it correctly. OH NO! I had terrible grades in a lot of my classes!

History was an F, English was an F too, Writing I had an E which was basically an F, even Gym and Art had both dropped from Bs to Ds! My grades in Math and Science class weren't terrible, but they also were a far cry from what I was expecting. They were both C pluses. The only class I was totally acing was….Physics.

It made sense, I suppose. I'd been so focused on physics that the other classes sort of fell to the wayside. Oh crud! And this wasn't even the progress report, it was my actual report card. I was out of time to turn this marking period around. So much for a fresh start.

"There must be some mistake." I said. "I'm smarter than like….the whole class now! These CAN'T be my grades!"

"Own up to your mistakes." The nerdy version of my voice in my head pushed me.

"I guess I've still been distracted lately. I promise I'll try and do better." I squeaked honestly. BUT HOW!? How could I do better? "Please don't make me drop physics!" I begged.

"I won't make you drop anything, but you have to apply yourself more next marking period." She opened the door. "You can go now."

Apply myself more!? I was already giving up so much free time. I couldn't give up any more. But I didn't want to lose my A in physics either! What a calamity!

You all know what happened in the cafeteria. My friends and family, mostly Britt, were all worried about how deep the nerdiness was creeping. I was worried too. It's why I wrote that poem about my feelings of going insane.

They never need to know that though. Never. I can handle this uncertainty on my own. All I have to do is stop thinking so hard about physics and start applying myself in my other classes. Easy peasy.

Or at least, it would have been, if Dr. Wilson hadn't set up a kinetic energy and inertia demonstration using rollercoasters. He let us build our own coasters out of LEGO! He was so cool!

"Might want to move that loop de loop." He said, walking by to observe my design. "You don't want it flying off the track."

"Right! Yeah! I totally mixed up the calculation." I began taking the loop de loop section apart.

"How have you been lately? You seem…anxious?" He sat down next to me and helped take apart some of the lego.

I frowned, remembering my conversation with Brittany. "I finally told my best friend about how much I love your class." I squeaked. "It was a total disaster. She hates me now. She says I've changed too much."

"Ah, I'm sure she'll come around." He spoke softly.

I looked up and he had that twinkle in his eye again. "You don't know Brittany." I said sadly.

"Perhaps not." He helped me attach the loop de loop again in a way that won't kill the imaginary lego family riding my coaster. "But if she's your friend, then she'll eventually accept you for who you are."

I had a big question. "Dr. Wilson…" I began. "How do I know who I am? I thought I knew back when I was popular, but I was wrong. Could I be wrong about liking physics too?"

He smiled at me. "Young man, if you were wrong about liking physics, you wouldn't have an A in this class." He stood up. "Now, how about we take this coaster for a spin?"

I stood on top of a desk and carefully set the coaster car onto the track. "Fasten your seatbelts! The ride will begin in 3….2….1…."

Dr. Wilson and I both watched the rollercoaster as the car zoomed around twists, turns, loops, and up massive inclines only to drop suddenly once it reached the top thanks to the power of gravity. It was AWESOME! It helped me realize that there was no faking it. I really DID love physics, no matter what Brittany thought about it.

I high fived my favorite teacher as my coaster's car inched to a stop, thanks to friction. I knew I was getting an A on this project too.

After that, Dr. Wilson passed back my final exam. It was only a B plus, but he assured me that was normal. It covered a TON of what we learned and odds of me not getting confused when having to recall it all were slim. He also said my final grade would stay an A because his exams aren't as weighty as in other classes.

Unfortunately, after leaving Dr. Wilson's class, my mind was even more fixated on physics. I guess it's true. You can't choose your hyperfixations. I would have never chosen physics. In fact, it was more like physics chose ME.

That night, I shook Simon awake, since that was something the old Alvin would have done. People were concerned the old Alvin was going away, but he wasn't. I would show them!

"Do you think they call your hidden talents potential because it's like potential energy? Then it gets released and it's like kinetic energy and becomes…ambition?" I asked, sitting cutely on Simon's bed.

He wasn't amused. "Alvin, it is TWO in the morning! Go to SLEEP!"

"But I just had another epiphany…or theory or whatchamacallit." I rambled.

Simon tried to whack me with his pillow, but I dodged it. "I repeat. 2 in the morning. You know what normal people do at 2 in the morning? THEY SLEEP!"

"But we aren't normal people." I gave him adorable puppy eyes. "We're geniuses."

He stuck the pillow over his head and started mumbling. "I'm going to wind up hating physics. Maybe that's been his plan all along. There's no way anyone could be this annoying on accident."

I decided Simon could hear more of my theories in the morning. Or maybe the whole school could? Or just Jeanette? The whole school found the new me weird and off-putting. I didn't understand why.

Everyone didn't like the old Alvin. They pretended to. They thought I was a troublemaker, a pain, not worth their time. I'd become the opposite of that. I was practically a teacher's pet now. I couldn't remember the last time I played a prank on anyone. (Do the letters for Si count?) Why wasn't the new Alvin welcomed? Why was he, err, I, still seen as annoying? How could I be less annoying?

These were the thoughts going through my head as I tried to fall asleep. Well, along with the numerous physics calculations, that is. What was so bad about me being a nerdy guy anyway?

I closed my eyes and ventured off to dreamland. I knew tomorrow was gonna be a crazy day. Somehow, I would show people who I really was.

Chapter Text

THE DOG WITH A NEW CHEW TOY

Genius Alvin's POV

The next morning, before school, I walked into the dining room holding a really thick sci fi novel. It was called Across The Universe: Braving The Cosmos. It was one of my favorites to read since I had turned into a major bookworm.

"Hey, Simon, wanna see a magic trick?" I asked, leaning against the leg of our dining room table.

He rolled his eyes. "No." I could tell he was still tired. I wonder why he didn't sleep well.

I took the thick book and riffled through the pages at hyperspeed. Then, I closed it with a loud SNAP! "Done. Quiz me." I smirked.

"You cannot possibly read that fast." He responded with his usual skepticism.

"Quiz me." I repeated.

He folded his arms. "You're messing with me. Also, I haven't read that book. How am I supposed to quiz you?" He pointed out.

NUTS! I hadn't accounted for that variability in response. "Aw man. Okay, yeah that time I was messing with you. I've read this like a dozen times." I tapped my head. "Locked and loaded."

My brother in the deep blue shirt breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank goodness."

Theodore toddled into the kitchen and started defrosting waffles in the toaster. "Morning, guys." He said in his friendly way.

Dave followed Theodore, but made a detour to the dining room since it was nearby. "Good morning, fellas."

"Morning, Dave!" My tail wagged. "I'm ready for another riveting day of school." I actually was. It felt so good to show everyone my new talent!

Because this was out of character behavior for me, dear ol dad got suspicious. "What did you do this time?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.

I frowned. "Nothing! Can't a guy just be excited for school for once?"

Simon came in to defend me, by half-lying to Dave. "He's just really enjoying that Music Appreciation class." My brother in blue shot me a "you better tell him soon" look.

"Yeah! Yeah!" I added, grabbing one of the fresh toaster waffles from Theo. "I find the subject matter fascinating."

Theodore growled at me softly and I pushed the box of frozen toaster waffles toward him. He could always toast another one. I needed this to fuel my brainpower.

"Fascinating?" Dave looked suspicious, before smiling at me. "I guess this means you can look forward to a surprising report card this marking period."

I chuckled nervously. "You'll be surprised for sure." I murmured. Yeah, in both a good way AND a bad way. Why can't anything overwhelmingly good happen to me? Why is there always a catch?

We finished our breakfast, Dave packed our lunches, and then we started the walk to school. The Chipettes came out of their treehouse and ran up to join us.

"Walk faster." I whispered to Simon.

He scowled. "You can't avoid the girls forever."

"I'm not tryin' to avoid all of them. Only Brittany." I said, watching the 3 girls get closer.

"But Brittany is your friend." Theodore reminded me with a sad expression.

"Can you be friends with someone who doesn't understand you?" I questioned aloud.

"Uh…yeah." Theo nudged me playfully. "I'm friends with you and Simon. And Eleanor, Brittany, AND Jeanette and I don't really understand any of you."

"But you appreciate us." I pointed out. "I just want Britt to appreciate me. She doesn't have to understand me to appreciate my magnificent mindpower? Does she?"

"No, but it's BRITTANY you're talking about." Simon cut in again. "And be quiet. She'll be able to hear us soon. I cannot handle another spat between you two."

"Hey, boys." Eleanor greeted us.

"How are you feeling today, Alvin?" Jeanette put a comforting hand on my back. I loved how much she actually gave a munk's behind about my feelings. Not that Britt didn't care about me. I could tell she did. She just was going about it all wrong.

"I….uh…." How was I feeling? Still awkward, pretty much. "I'm better…ish."

The girl in purple took her hand away. "That's good."

Eleanor frowned. I didn't understand why she was so upset. "How are you guys feeling?" She asked my brothers. "Because everything isn't all about Alvin."

"I'm good." Theodore squeaked.

Simon slumped his shoulders. "I've been better."

I noticed Brittany staring at me with those overly concerned eyes again. Maybe I should try and hang with her again? Just like old times. "Britt…" I mustered out. "Sorry about….you know….makin' ya pass out yesterday." Good good. "Do you wanna….maybe….uhhh….get some ice cream after school?"

Her expression grew cold. "As long as you don't talk about the physics of why ice cream is frozen. Maybe."

"I can't promise that." I stated honestly. "I can't control this stuff. It just keeps slipping out. I go to say something normal and then BAM! Genius!"

"Oh, I wanna bam the genius, alright." Eleanor held up her fist.

Simon groaned. "Alvin, stop." He commanded. "You're contributing to the devaluation of the word "genius."

"What Alvin's trying to say…" Jeanette translated for me. "Is that his mind is oversaturated with what he's learned. Without practice controlling it, he's slipping into a more loquacious dialect." I'm pretty sure that didn't help, Netta. But nice try!

Brittany stomped her foot on the sidewalk. "CAN EVERYONE STOP USING GIANT WORDS FOR ONE MEASLY MINUTE!?" She covered her ears. "I can't take this anymore!"

How do you think I feel!? I'm the one who's suddenly Mr. Dictionary Man! Now that the Brain Juice has kicked in, I can't turn it off.

Fun fact: I got the Brain Juice analogy from the Goosebumps 2000 book called Brain Juice. It's about two kids who are seen as dumb by their classmates drinking alien brain juice that suddenly makes them the smartest people on earth.

Hmm. There seems to be a theme here. When I watched that Creepy Teacher From The Lagoon movie, that was about a teacher who drained the brains of students to become the smartest person on earth.

Add that to My Teacher Fried My Brains, and Ernest Goes To School, AND The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes. And I watched and read all this stuff BEFORE I became smart. It was definitely true. I, Alvin Seville, had ALWAYS wanted to be as smart as Simon. And now, now I was. But, if I couldn't find some way to handle it, I was in for a lot of trouble.

It didn't take the trouble long to locate me. It must have a GPS system or something. I was about to walk into Miss. Smith's class when Derek and his goons blocked the door.

"Greetings, gentlemen." I said, carrying my history and math textbooks. "Please step aside because you're obstructing my path."

"Make us, nerd." One of the bullies taunted.

I snapped out of scholar mode instantly. "I am NOT a nerd." I insisted. "I'm nerdY. There's a big difference. I'm still cool, I swear."

"Yeah." The bully on Derek's other side, his name was Ray Ray I think, grumbled sarcastically. "Real cool."

Derek threw his head back and laughed. "Oh this'll be fun. He doesn't realize what's happening to him."

"We're gonna teach you a lesson, nerd." The other two boys raised their fists. Were they gonna pound me?

Not on my watch! Calculating the predictive trajectory, I threw my math book as hard as I could. I was pumped with adrenaline, so that was pretty far. It connected with Ray Ray's head. YES! Thanks to the domino effect, the rest of the bullies fell sideways onto the floor.

I leapt over them and into the classroom. I was here plenty of time before the bell rang, but so was….Brittany! She seemed lost in her own thoughts.

"Britt! Did you see that?" I jumped around excitedly. "I just took down three bullies with a math book!"

She sighed and then laid her head on her desk. "Awesome." Her heart wasn't in those words.

"Can we….talk?" I asked.

She sneered at me. "Can you take off those glasses?"

I decided to try and butter her up. "But if I do that, I won't be able to see your beautiful face."

"It's a sacrifice you have to make." She reached out and took my red glasses off my face. Then she combed through my hair fringe with her fingers. "The longer you wear these, the worse your condition gets."

"It's NOT the glasses." I repeated forcefully. I highly suspected it was the love of science worsening my Nerdification process. I didn't tell her that.

Her blurry face stared at me. I wished I could see her expression clearly. "You're losing yourself, Alvin."

Maybe, yes, but maybe that was a good thing! "Sometimes, you have to lose yourself in order to find out who you were truly meant to be." I squeaked. I meant every word I said. Because THIS was who I WANTED to be. Well, aside from the sudden overly awkward wordiness.

"This isn't who you're meant to be." She cried. "You're meant to be…."

"A troublemaker?" I finished for her. "Yeah, well, maybe I don't WANT to be one anymore."

"You're meant to be fun, exciting, suave, sporty…." She went on.

The other students started to file into class, but I didn't realize it. I was still puzzling out how to assure Brittany that I was still Alvin enough to be her friend. "And I am. I've never BEEN this excited before. I've never appreciated sports so much before." I insisted.

She let out another heavy sigh.

I continued talking, letting my thoughts spew out like lava from a volcano. "Brittany, right now...when I'm like this...it feels like we're two electrons repelling each other every turn. I don't want to be an electron. I want to be a proton. Because protons and electrons stick together."

"….and there you go talking science again." Her voice was even more bitter. She handed me back the glasses. "Whatever. Enjoy your new life. I really REALLY hope this is a phase and when it ends you realize how crazy you were acting."

She didn't understand my analogy. Crap! "What I'm saying is, can we still be friends?"

"Only if you don't make me call you Alvin." She opened her history book and started ignoring me.

I put the glasses back on and noticed the bullies by the door waking up. I held up my history book and waved it at them in a threatening way. They slunk back to their seats and I smiled to myself. At least they knew I wasn't a nerd to be messed with. Cuz I wasn't a nerd! I was only half a nerd! There was no way in heck I was going to become some stereotype.

ALVIN: And I'm still not a stereotype to this day.

BRITTANY: But you DO almost become one as you were "becoming 2.0."

ALVIN: Right, but that's still a few stories from now. And also pretty much your fault.

BRITTANY: I was handling your insanity the best I could. Anyway, on with the emotional rollercoaster that is my life.

Brittany's POV

It's just a phase. I told myself over and over and over. It HAS to be a phase. He's done things like this before. Although, he's never changed this LONG before. What was it about being all geeky and dorky that was so appealing to Alvin? Why couldn't he just SNAP OUT OF IT!?

Was it my fault? It was my fault, wasn't it? I had pushed him into this without realizing it. My idea to save him from having the mother of all identity crisis-es had failed. Now, he was trapped in a cycle of trying to re-invent himself and he was purposely turning into Simon without REALIZING that was the goal. I broke him. I broke Alvin.

I still loved the little guy, but there was no way I was going to date him while he was so unstable. He even ADMITTED he was unstable. He called himself an "unstable isotope" in class today. The nerdy behavior kept ramping up. It was like I was watching the boy I loved fade away into nothingness while I was POWERLESS to do a dang thing about it.

At lunchtime, I slapped my cafeteria tray down on the table. I had called my sisters, Simon, and Theo here for another meeting. We were once again discussing that red capped stranger who had moved in to Alvin's body and wouldn't leave.

"I can't take it! I can't take it!" I pulled at my hair, which I never did unless I was very upset. It took me a long time to do my hair. "How do we snap him out of this?"

Jeanette's dark blue eyes stared at me. "We don't, Britt."

"He'll snap himself out eventually." Theodore, always the positive thinker, claimed.

"Well, he is DRIVING me NUTS!" I fumed, sticking a fork into my sweet potato so firmly that it broke through the cafeteria tray.

Unfortunately, the red capped menace saw us all grouped together and walked over to join us. "This seat taken?"

"That depends." I retorted angrily.

He tilted his head, looking confused. Some "genius" he is. "On what?"

"On whether or not you're going to ramble about YOU KNOW WHAT." I explained.

"Uhhhh….okay." He sat down and then opened his lunch box and began to quietly eat the sandwich inside. QUIETLY. Alvin never does things quietly.

Theodore leaned over the table and waved a bag of carrot sticks in Eleanor's face. "I'll trade you these for your cupcake. Whattya say?"

My sister in the mint striped shirt chuckled. "Theo, you can get a cupcake too." She pointed to her lunch tray. "Just get in line."

"But…it's a really long line." The cutest of the three Seville boys pouted. Alvin used to be the cutest, but now…something about him seemed a lot less cute. Looking at him only made me feel bad for him and annoyed at him.

Eleanor unwrapped the beautifully frosted chocolate treat. "I'm not giving you my cupcake."

The boy in green then turned his attention to me. He smiled with those big brown puppy dog eyes. "Can I have yours, Brittany?"

I shoved the cupcake in my mouth and swallowed. "Oh no." I said sarcastically. "I wish you had asked me sooner."

"I'd offer you mine, Theodore." Jeanette said quietly. "If I had gotten one." My sister is vegan, so cupcakes are a no go. They have ingredients she doesn't eat inside them. That means more for me and Eleanor though! It's fabulous.

"Simon, you're patient, right?" Theodore poked at his brother's elbow.

The Chipmunk in the blue sweater fumed. "Not today. Someone kept me up last night."

Theodore let out a heavy sigh. It was clear he wasn't getting that cupcake.

Or was he. "I'll go wait in line." Alvin stood up from the table. "I owe ya for the waffle I snatched this morning anyway." He winked at Theo. Then, he was back on his science rambles. "Did you know that, in a cupcake, sugar crystals help form the structure of the product by making small holes that get filled with CO2 and react with the leavening agent?"

"No….I didn't." Theodore looked puzzled as his oldest brother walked away. "And I still don't." He frowned.

Simon sighed and rubbed his forehead. "And now I also regret teaching him how chemistry and physics are connected."

Eleanor looked amused, although still worried. "Man, He is like a dog that got a brand new chew toy."

"It's a phase." I said, hoping if I said it enough it would be true. "He acted kinda like this back when we took the Mystic Mates test. He's upset he lost his popularity. This is a new cry for attention. It's a phase. IT HAS TO BE!" My throat was dry from shouting, so I took a sip of apple juice.

Simon gripped the table with his fingers. "It better be a phase because if this continues forever I might need to lock myself in the loony bin." SAME, Simon! I feel the SAME!

For some reason, my middle sister was STILL defending the obnoxious kid. "Brittany, you say everything Alvin does is for attention."

"Because it is!" I replied.

"Is it, though?" She asked. She didn't understand why people did what they did. Luckily, I had social intelligence. It's better than science intelligence.

Simon was lucky enough to be gifted both forms. He knew what Alvin was doing and why as well. "It's clearly for attention and I'm not sure he's as good at physics as he thinks he is."

"What makes you so sure?" Jeanette looked angry now, well, angry for Jeanette…which meant maybe slightly unhappy.

"You would think that, since Alvin's gotten "smarter-er", his words by the way, he'd actually start making some good, rational decisions. But no." Simon went on, gesturing wildly with his arms.

My youngest sister finished her chocolate cupcake. "Intelligence doesn't have as much impact on personality as you think, Simon." She stated. "He's still the same Alvin in that way."

Simon nodded. "Oh, I have figured that out. And do you know why?"

"Why?" Theodore asked, nibbling his carrot sticks.

And that's when it became REALLY obvious that Simon and I were the only ones who really really wanted the old Alvin back and SOON. "Because he won't SHUT UP about physics. It is incessant, unrelenting, every minute of every day and it's DRIVING ME CRAZY! He wakes me up at 2 in the morning to discuss a new harebrained theory, he…"

Jeanette interrupted him. "He's just excited to finally be good at something school related." No! There was more to it!

"Yeah." Eleanor wasn't taking anyone's side. She was basically just there to observe and add things to fuel the argument. "Like Britt said. It's a phase. It'll wear off and he'll go back to not caring about science."

Jeanette fidgeted with her fingers and looked down. "Well….uh….I dunno about that…"

"He better." The only Seville brother that SHOULD be smart exclaimed. "Otherwise, I'll grow to hate physics!"

Theodore tried to cut the tension. "I think we all need to calm down and watch a funny movie." He suggested. How were we supposed to do that at school? "At home tonight." He added. "It'll make the stress melt away."

"I could use a laugh." My youngest sister agreed.

Simon finished the last bites of his sandwich and opened a bag of pretzels. "I'd take that over another study session with Alvin Einstein."

"I'll pass." Jeanette looked uncomfortable.

"Brittany?" Theodore, Simon, and Eleanor all looked at me.

Did I have time after school to watch a movie? "I'm not really feeling it." I answered honestly. "I think I'll just take a nice bubble bath and listen to music."

"Well, as long as you're relaxing." Theodore squeaked. "That's the important part."

"Cupcake delivery!" Alvin announced, returning to the table. He handed a chocolate cupcake to Theodore. Then, he held out another chocolate one for Simon. "I got ya one too, bro."

His brother in the royal blue sweater looked surprised. "….Thanks."

"And one for me!" The red capped boy said, biting into a vanilla flavored cupcake with bright blue frosting that matched his irresistible eyes. "Oh man, this is good stuff."

The frosting also matched the accents on the collar and sleeves of his shirt. Was that color blue becoming his new favorite color? Alvin likes RED! and YELLOW! Not blue. Not this weird neon blue.

Don't think about it, Brittany. It's just a phase. Just a phase.

Back at home, before I could run my relaxing bubble bath, I lost it. I took out all the fliers I had printed with Alvin's face on them. He hadn't been interested in them. Since when did his OWN FACE not interest him? I threw the fliers around my room in a tizzy. I was having, well, a temper tantrum. I'd been pushed too far past my limits.

Still angry, I dug a red colored pencil out of Jeanette's art drawer. I took one of the fliers and sat down at my beautiful pink vanity. Miss. Miller, my mom, had bought this vanity especially for me. Whenever I was at my lowest, I would sit at my vanity, put on makeup, and tell myself things would get better.

Right now, however, I was dealing with my feelings in a different way. I scribbled a pair of round red glasses onto Alvin's picture. No, wait, that's not stereotypically nerdy enough for him yet. I added braces to his perfect teeth with a silver colored pencil. Still angry, I took the red pencil and gave him a ton of red spots that resembled acne.

I held up the picture, satisfied with my work. It was what he wanted to be anyway, right? The biggest dweeb. King Geeknerd. It's only fitting that his appearance would match it. I felt much better now that I had had my meltdown. I folded up the photo, stuck it into a drawer of my vanity, and basically forgot I ever drew on it. (Until years later. Like, literally. YEARS)

I don't always remember what happens during my meltdowns. It's like I enter an entirely different mode. If other people are around, they can tell me what I did. I was alone in the house then, so the fury of the meltdown quickly disappeared…and so did most of my memory.

I picked up all the fliers, feeling awful for scattering them around. Then, I began to do something else that helped me process my emotions. I sang.

"It was so easy that night

Should have been strong

Yeah I lied

Nobody gets me like you"

If only I had told Alvin I wasn't over him that night he thought I was an alien bodysnatcher. We would be DATING by now!

"Couldn't keep hold of you then

How could I know what you meant?

There was nothing to compare to"

I could feel the tears coming again, but I held them back. I wanted to sound fantastic and crying would only make me sound broken up.

"I know everything changes

All the cities and faces

But I know how I feel about you

There's a mountain between us

But there's one thing I'm sure of

That I know how I feel about you"

I ran downstairs, stood on the couch, and sang into my hairbrush. It felt so cringey, but I didn't CARE!

"Can we bring yesterday back around?

'Cause I know how I feel about you now

I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down

But I know how I feel about you now"

I really DID. I knew exactly how Alvin made me feel, but it was too late. I'd lost him. He wasn't interested in me. All he wanted was stupid SCIENCE!

"Not a day passes by

Not a day passes by

When I don't think about you

And there's no moving on

'Cause I know you're the one

And I can't be without you"

I danced into the kitchen and through the hall, back to the living room. I didn't want the song to end. But it had to if I was going to take my relaxing soak.

"Can we bring yesterday back around?

'Cause I know how I feel about you now

I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down

But I know how I feel about you now."

A knock at the door grabbed my attention. I wondered if it was Jeanette, home from her walk through the park or wherever she had gone. Maybe it was Eleanor, back from the movie with the boys already. Did I want to answer the door? No. I wanted to eat some double fudge ice cream and then take a bath. That was my plan. Who was messing with my plan?

"Hello? Brittany?" That was Alvin's voice. OH MY GOD!

I slid across the floor and opened the door. Wait, did my hair look okay? I touched my ponytail with my hands. "What are you doing here, weirdo?" I greeted Alvin. If I was too nice, I would scare him off.

I noticed he wasn't wearing the glasses, but he still had his gym shirt on. He had probably forgotten to change out of it. He also held something behind his back.

"I'm sorry I kept this whole genius thing from you so long." He showed me his hands. He was carrying pink plastic ROSES and and a HEART SHAPED box of chocolates. Maybe Alvin DID love me after all! He held the gifts out to me.

"Oh my gosh! How romantic!" I took the items and hugged them to my chest.

"What? No!" I was crushed when he said that. He chuckled nervously. "I'm just…not sure what to get my best friend as an apology gift, so you know, can't go wrong with roses and chocolate."

My tail drooped, but Alvin didn't notice. "Oh…"I replied sadly. "Well, I accept the apology and you did get my favorite chocolates." Chocolates with cherries inside. Yum!

"Yes! I knew those were your favorites!" He seemed pleased with himself.

I furrowed my brows. He was so ANNOYING! "You're so….nice, now. I can't even stay MAD at you."

"I know. It weirds me out too. A plethora…err lot of things do." He leaned against the doorway of the treehouse and then lost his balance.

I helped him to his feet. "I guess this means we're still….friends." I responded, hiding my pain.

He hugged me. "Of course! Why wouldn't we be?"

"Thank you for coming here." I said. DON'T CRY! DON'T CRY! DON'T CRY! "I needed this tonight." I invited him inside. "Would you like to stay for ice cream?"

"Ohoho boy WOULD I EVER!" He walked in excitedly and then frowned. "But I do have a lot of homework tonight."

"It's still early." I reminded him. "You'll have plenty of time. Besides, Ellie bought…" I opened the fridge and pointed to a container of red, yellow, and blue ice cream. "Superman."

"Mmm. My favorite." He took a seat at our kitchen counter. "Okay, I'll stay."

That night, we both ate our ice cream and talked for a while. Alvin tried hard not to bring up science stuff. I appreciated that. He still couldn't help slipping in a fun fact every now and then. I could tell it was weirding him out.

Then, eventually, he left to return to being Supernerd. I put the plastic roses into a vase and collapsed on the couch. Alvin didn't want to date me. It was obvious. I was stuck forever in the friendzone. It HURT! I sobbed into the couch pillow wondering why life was so cruel.

ALVIN: Drama queen.

BRITTANY: Drama king.

ALVIN: My turn again.

BRITTANY: Really? You're just going to leave it with me sobbing in a pillow?

ALVIN: It's a good ending! Now, step aside! I've got some more things to cover before this chapter wraps.

Genius Alvin's POV

I returned from the treehouse with several conflicting feelings. I wanted to stay there and talk to Britt longer, but my new passion was calling me. I didn't have time to hang with Britt as much. I needed to A: Learn to control my brain. B: Figure out how to break the news about my report card to Dave. C: Decide whether or not I wanted to take another extracurricular next marking period.

There was so much to THINK about. Also, I felt a little embarrassed about the flowers and chocolates. I sure hope Britt didn't get the wrong idea. I didn't have a crush on her or anything. I hadn't actually crushed on a girl since crushing on physics.

Oof. Now that I say that out loud, it sounds kinda lame. The old Alvin would never. Moving on, before that thought concerns me too much. Simon, Theo, and I all did our homework together. I stepped in to help Simon explain stuff to Theo. Then he and Si said that they were gonna go watch Talking Teddy, which I had no interest in. Great! That gave me more time to look up TV tropes on my computer.

TV tropes were slowly becoming another obsession of mine. The scary part is, after watching all those episodes about people who suddenly become smart, something occurred to me. They all usually revert back to exactly what they were before in the end. In other words, they lose their smarts.

I didn't want to lose my smarts. What could I do to prevent that? Or was there NOTHING I could do? Say my life worked sort of like a TV show, was this really a phase…like Britt kept saying?

I also figured out, from the same wonderful website, that there's a lot of TV shows and movies and even books where a nerdy character becomes popular and ditches their nerdy ways forever. There are FAR FAR less examples of that trope in reverse. And again, if it DOES happen in reverse, it usually wears off.

My family must have had the same thought process, because the next day, they started trying to convince me I would lose my intelligence.

It began with Simon, of all people. I was at my locker, re-organizing it because it was basically like an atomic bomb went off in there. Simon walked up and teased me. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Algernon."

Yeah. I had never heard that name before. "Who?"

He frowned, mad that I didn't get his reference. "A character from a book we read last semester."

"Uh huh? And?" I asked, lining up my textbooks only to watch them fall over again. Gravity is really mean sometimes.

Simon cleared his throat to grab my attention. "He was a mouse who was part of an experiment to increase IQ."

"Right, well, I'm a chipmunk." I retorted.

What Simon said next chilled my very soul. "And then his intelligence wore off."

Then the pigtailed demon child added something even MORE frightening. "And he died a gruesome death."

"ELEANOR!" Simon grabbed the Chipette's arm.

I finally stacked the books horizontally instead of vertically. "Guys, I am fine. I know it seems like a superpower, but Theo says it's just my Simon genes kicking in late." I didn't know if I was fine or not. Would I really lose my intelligence just like Algore what's his name?

"Genes don't work like that." Simon started to help me clean crumpled papers from my locker.

I shrugged. "Maybe there should be more research done on them." I suggested.

Simon's hand touched a gnarly piece of chewed up bubble gum and that was the end of him helping organize my locker.

Eleanor helped me finish it, luckily. "Thanks, Ellie." I squeaked.

We had almost gotten it looking decent when a group of hot girls came up to me. Yes! Haha! I thought they were hot. Physics hadn't shut down my girl-craziness after all.

"Hey, Alvin." This blonde with a pink streak in her hair batted her eyes at me. "Can you come over tonight and help me with my homework?" She sighed. "History is just so hard."

"No way, Sabrina." The other girl said. "He's gonna help me with this week's vocabulary words. Right, Alvin?"

"I need advice on my biology assignment." A third girl added. This one was really tall and had dark black hair in a long braid.

"Ladies, ladies." I smiled at them in my adorable and irresistible way. HELLO EGO, NICE TO SEE YOU BACK AGAIN! "I'll find a way to help all of you. Alvin Einstein doesn't leave his fans hangin.'"

When the girls walked away, chattering about how great I was, Eleanor grabbed me and shoved me against a wall.

"Wow. You know nothing." She told me. "It's kind of sad."

I struggled to break free of her grasp. "I know more than I did before."

"Oh really?" Her green eyes glared at me. "Why do you think those girls were nice to you when everyone else ignores you?"

"Because they still love me." I boasted. "They're crazy about me."

"No. They don't care about you at ALL." Eleanor revealed, shaking my world again. "They want you to do their homework for them. That's it."

Oh no! She was right! It was the kind of thing I did. Manipulation. I can't believe I almost fell for it. "They just wanna use me for my brain?" My ego deflated once more. Back to feeling like a nerdy nobody.

"Yep." Eleanor let me go.

I was furious. "Well, the jokes on them because I am failing literally everything except physics." I fumed.

The blonde Chipette's eyes went wide. "Even art and GYM?"

Oops. Why had I said that? Oh well, no hiding it now. "I have a D in gym. Technically passing, basically failing."

"In gym!?" Eleanor repeated.

I sighed. "I am NOT good at budgeting my time!"

"Dave is gonna be so freakin' pizzed." She reminded me.

"I know!" I grumbled. "My first A in a class and I can't even enjoy it because I got too involved and forgot about everything else."

She put a hand on my back. "Do you see now why Simon told you that you need a break from physics?"

I glumly nodded. "I'll figure it out somehow."

I walked away from her. It had not been a great day. Most of my days were like that now. Physics was ruining my life. How could I make myself shut up about it? How could I make myself stop thinking about it? But WITHOUT losing my intelligence and bouncing back to plain ol classic Alvin. That was important.

I needed a scheme. No, That was classic Alvin thinking. I needed a plan. I pondered possible plans as Britt sat down next to me in the cafeteria. What to do? What to do? What could motivate me to stop talking about physics?

"What should we talk about today?" Theodore asked our entire lunch table.

I waved my hand in the air and the others ignored me. Finally, I blurted out. "Let's talk music."

Brittany looked content with that idea. "Finally."

I took my glasses off the brim of my cap where I'd started storing them when they weren't in use. I wanted to see my friends' and brothers' faces.

"Dave's working on another jingle." Theodore squeaked.

Simon rolled his eyes. "This one's about bananas."

"It's a catchy song." My brother in green insisted.

"When do you think our next concert will be?" Brittany asked, picking at her mashed potatoes.

"No clue." Simon shrugged. "Dave hasn't scheduled us anywhere that I know of."

The science mojo hit me BAD again. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out. "Did you know that soundwaves can generate heat? My singing is literally hot! How cool is that!?"

"OH MY GOD! I will give you 20 dollars to stop talking about physics!" Britt hollered.

Suddenly, I had the GREATEST idea! "Ohoho! Deal."

Brittany handed me 20 dollars! 20 whole dollars! I knew what I had to do! I knew what could motivate me to shut up about science and get me a TON of cash as a bonus! Here's what I was gonna do. I would walk around the school and babble physics facts to everyone. When they asked me to stop, I would say "of course I'll stop, for a small fee of course." It was the most BRILLIANT OF ALL BRAIN BLASTS!

"Why are you smirking?" Eleanor asked, looking worried.

I fanned my face with the 20 dollar bill. Should I tell them? Should I keep it to myself? I would wait until lunch was almost over and mull over the pros and cons of each decision. That's what a genius would do.

Chapter Text

MONEY-MAKING AND MAKING AMENDS

Doofus-Genius Alvin's POV

"Hello?" Eleanor snapped her fingers in front of me to grab my attention. "Why are you smirking?"

"It's a secret." I responded. "I might tell you and I might not."

"You're still thinking about physics, aren't you?" Theodore shook a stubby finger at me.

I rolled up the 20 dollar bill and tucked it into my pocket. "Maybe. Thinking about it is fine, as long as I don't talk about it." I said, focusing on my lunch. Today's lunch was an assorted nut trail mix. Yum! Delectable!

"Finally…" Simon stretched his back. "I can hear myself think."

I stayed quiet for a while, trying to decide if I wanted to reveal my plan or not. Maybe they could give me some helpful advice. Or maybe they'd just claim I was stupid. Or was the plan stupid?

"Did you guys know there's a new racing game that comes out today?" Eleanor asked the whole table. "It's called Final Drive Fantasy."

"Are you going to get it?" My youngest brother asked her.

The pigtailed chick nodded. "I'm hoping. I've been saving up for it."

Racing…a physics concept! No, stop, don't think about physics. Think about how much money you can earn to buy that awesome racing game! I told myself in my head. Or I could do something easier, maybe.

I chewed some walnuts and almonds as I thought about how to ask Eleanor to lend me her game. "Can I play it when you get it?"

She wasn't thrilled about that idea. Rats! "You can buy your own."

"But it costs more than 20 dollars." I whined. "I only have 20 dollars."

Simon frowned disapprovingly at me. "Then I suppose you'll have to think of a way to make more money." Easy for you to say, Si! You're good at collecting cash. I still don't know exactly how you do it.

"I've got one." Oh come on! Why did I say that? I wasn't done considering the pros and cons of telling them my plan!

Britt, Simon, and Eleanor all looked at me strangely. "What is it?"

Theo and Jeanette were both off in their little worlds. Theodore was busy enjoying a tube of yogurt and Jeanette was staring blankly across the cafeteria. She's so cute when she stares like that.

Anyway, back to revealing my idea. I knew I had to now. I was sure they'd love it. I hoped they would, at least. "By having people pay me to shut up about, you know, sciency stuff. I'll have a fortune before the school day's over!"

"Worst idea ever." Brittany commented, narrowing her eyes.

"Maybe it was when I was trying to hide this." I explained. "But now the whole school knows how nerdy I am."

"So you're calling yourself nerdy now?" The Chipette in pink was shocked.

I nodded proudly. "Yep. NerdY. Not a nerd. Just NerdY. The Y makes all the difference."

"Alvin, no. If you pull a stunt like this, everyone will hate you." Simon warned me.

"Yeah. EVERYONE." Brittany echoed.

Eleanor couldn't help but add in her opinion. "Even your friends won't be able to stand you."

Her sister in pink rested an arm on the table. "And we know because we can't stand you."

I finished my lunch and started packing the empty bag and wrappers in my lunch box. "It'll be fine! Trust me! I'm not gonna overdo it. I just want enough money for the game. That's all. How much does it cost, Ellie?"

She frowned. "94.99." Yeesh! That was expensive for a single game.

"Right, so, if I charge 20 dollars per person, it'll take….5 people telling me to shut up to buy the game. Wow, maybe I can charge less than 20 dollars, you know, make this whole thing a lot more fair. Say I charge 5 dollars instead, then I'll need to collect from 19 people. That seems doable." I rambled out loud. This was math, not physics facts, so I wasn't breaking the deal with Britt. Although physics is somewhat connected to math. Ah, I'm overthinking it.

"I want 15 dollars back then." Brittany commanded holding out her manicured hand with those long nails I didn't want to mess with.

I sighed and gave her the 20 dollar bill. She gave me a 5 in return.

Simon looked like he was in a psychedelic daze. "I will never adjust to you being good at math." He murmured.

I got up from the table. "I've always been good at math." I smiled. "When it's something I care about. And I care a lot about money and videogames." Yeah! That's totally what it was! I was never BAD at math. I just couldn't get it when Miss. Smith wasn't connecting it to things I thought mattered. Matter, physics, crap crap! Physics, not right now! "Trust me! This'll work!"

"Your funeral." My brother in blue replied.

Ellie took his joke and ran with it. "I'll start making the gravestone now. Here lies Alvin's popularity. It was murdered by his latest get rich quick scheme."

"I thought it was already murdered by Brittany." Theodore commented. He was, you guessed it, confused. He's always confused!

I placed a hand on my hip. "You're just jealous you didn't think of this."

Brittany didn't say anything. She just sighed sadly and put her head down on the lunch table.

"Oh dear." I could have sworn I heard Jeanette whisper.

The youngest Chipette was STILL joking around. "Looks like his genius wore off already. That was fast."

Then, even THEO joined in. "Thank goodness." He squeaked. "I won't have to use a dictionary to understand him anymore."

I was getting VERY perturbed. How could they not see this idea was FANTASTIC!? "Stop making fun of me!" I felt light headed. "My genius is still all…you know…genius-y! This plan is foolproof." Oh, goody, there's classic Alvin. Well, maybe that is good. It'll convince Britt I'm still me.

"Can't be fool proof if it was made by a fool." Simon snarked.

"Simon's right." Britt added.

Eleanor laughed again. "Can't argue with that logic." I can. And I do.

With my new ambitious determination, I marched away from the table on a mission. I was sick of being teased. I was sick of the taunts that I would go "back to normal" or that this was "just a phase."

"Hmph! I'll see ya later. I have funds to accumulate." I huffed. It was time to see how this plan fared. Would I be right? Would they be right?

I smirked and looked back at my family and friends. The Chipettes were looking at me with worried faces and Simon was facepalming while Theo tilted his head, likely thinking I was nuts. A song the Chipettes covered that was originally by Selena Gomez titled Falling Down started to play in my head. On repeat. I could NOT get this song to leave!

"Uh, oh oh, oh

Uh, oh oh, oh

Uh, oh oh, oh

Uh, oh oh, oh

Uh, oh oh, oh"

I walked up to the popular kids table and started blabbering physics facts until they paid me to stop. Theodore followed me and tried to get me to stop by yanking on my arm. I ignored Theo and continued my quest, dragging him along.

"You walk and talk

Like you're some new sensation"

I sauntered up to three more cafeteria tables, moving in a circle, blabbering about physics stuff and once again getting paid to shut the heck up. Ohoho! It was working!

"You move in circles

You don't need an invitation"

After school, I turned in my stack of cash at the store to buy that racing game. I went home to play the game, but then found out it wasn't anything like how it was advertised. It was kinda dull. SIGH!

"You spend your money

You can't get no satisfaction"

Back at school, on my mission, I collected money from a bunch more students in the hallway before being pulled away by Simon and Jeanette. They were sick of my big idea. But I needed money for another better, cooler, game!

"You play it right so you can get the right reaction"

Later, Jeanette locked eyes with me as I was paid by Amber, Derek, and Annie to stop talking physics. She gave me that disapproving stare that made my stomach queasy. Uh oh! Guilt? Why am I feeling guilty for this?

"It won't be long my darling"

After school, I started CALLING people to ramble about physics. I was pretty darn confused when they hung up on me. Especially, when one of those people was Kevin!

"Pick up the phone, nobody's on it"

The next day at school, I waved to a group of students. They quickly avoided me and basically RAN away. I was baffled as to why they were doing that. The connections hadn't fully formed. I was too caught up in the money and the physics to realize I was making a mistake.

"Where are your friends now, baby?

Aren't they the ones supposed to be there for

You (you)?

I answered several science questions in Miss. Smith's class and then got sent to the hallway. Brittany looked at me sadly as I walked out of the room. Why was my brain STILL a problem?

"You're falling down

The world's not spinning 'round

You (you)"

I ran up to a group of kids playing soccer in the courtyard and asked to join in. They turned their backs on me and ignored me. I asked Ellie if I could play, but she ignored me too.

"When you're falling down

No, it's not all about

You (you)"

Jeanette met up with me after school. We went to the florist shop. I talked to her about my day and then I used some of the "don't talk about physics" money to buy her a bouquet of irises. Cuz, you know, her middle name is Iris! Plus, she was the only one being supportive of me.

"When you're falling down

You know I'll be around"

Back at home, I lied awake in bed, thinking about how I used to be popular and now no one wants to talk to me, except Jeanette.

"When you're falling down, falling down

Falling down, down, down, you're falling down"

I walked up to the mirror wearing my glasses and pointed finger guns at the mirror. Then, I noticed the glasses were on and moved them up to the brim of my cap. I wanted to see my cool face. Sadly, without them, my entire reflection became too fuzzy to fully make out.

"What's out of place when you look into the mirror?

The truth is blurry, but the lies are getting clearer"

Wearing my reading glasses again, I read more of the physics textbook I bought. Brittany tried to get my attention. I put the book down and waved and smiled at her. She walked off with a huffy sigh. Why was she so mad at my nerdiness?

"Your eyes are fixed, your smile is so elastic

You gave her roses, but they're all just made of plastic"

Later that day, I was hanging out in the Chipettes' treehouse watching Jeanette water her periwinkle vase of Irises. You know, the ones I bought for her. I noticed Britt staring sadly at her red vase of pink plastic apology roses. I didn't understand why she was upset. In my mind, both gifts have the same value. Britt's actually have more, cuz they'll last forever. Irises eventually die.

"It won't be long my darling

Pick up the phone, nobody's on it"

After I left the treehouse, I called up Kevin and Cheesy, but both of them didn't answer the phone at all. It was that moment when I started to wonder if I'd gone too far and pushed away everyone I had left.

"Where are your friends now, baby?

How's anyone supposed to be there for

You (you)?"

I went to the park, because being outside relaxes me. I rode SLOWLY on the merry go round at the park, looking at my wads of money and feeling the guilt. I knew I screwed up. I pushed the limit and now I was paying the price.

"When you're falling down

The world's not spinning 'round"

I thought about everyone's angry faces until they all blurred together into a huge swirling mess in my imagination. How could I have done such a stupid thing?

"You (you)

When you're falling down

No, it's not all about"

Jeanette stopped the slow moving merry go round and climbed onto it. She saw that I was sad and placed an arm around me. I put my head on her shoulder and cried a little, but not a lot…cuz crying is lame.

"You (you)

When you're falling down

You know I'll be around

When you're falling down, falling down"

Back at school, I walked down the hall clutching a physics book to my chest and looking ashamed. The other students all gave me disapproving stares. Frankly, I deserved that. I felt like an idiot.

"Smile for the camera, everybody's looking at ya"

I located Brittany, Eleanor, and Simon who all pointed and laughed and made jokes about how they TOLD me this would happen. Disgusted with them, AND MYSELF, I ran off to the school library, still clutching the physics book.

"Smile for the camera, 'cause they're all about to trash ya"

I don't really know how long I sat alone in the library. I've never been the best at telling time, a fact that I remind people of repeatedly. People always expect me to know things that I don't. They expect me to be aware of everything when I'm too caught up in my own, far more exciting, world.

What was WRONG with me? Why did I do such dumb things even when people told me not to? And why didn't my sudden Nerdification FIX ME!? Why couldn't I have anticipated the consequences of my scheme instead of the consequences of telling my family and friends about my scheme? I needed help. Who could possibly help such an unlovable, unteachable wreck?

"Alvin, are you in here?" The soft and gentle tone of Jeanette called out. Her voice echoed slightly through the empty library. That's due to the soundwaves reflecting off….Urgh, brain STOP! I'm having a crisis. I don't have time to consider physics facts when I am having a crisis.

I didn't answer the friendly Chipette, but I did peek my head out from behind the bookcase.

She walked over to me and sighed. "Come on out, Alvin."

I slinked into view, the guilt oozing from every crevice of my body. "I screwed up." I said, my voice tight in my throat. "Are you mad at me too?"

"Not….Not extremely." She reached out to hand me a tissue. "I know you didn't mean to drive everyone away."

"But you are mad?" My lip quivered. I hated being this vulnerable in front of her. Oh well, at least it wasn't Britt or Pigtails. They would tease me about it for life.

She looked as though she didn't know how to answer. "A little, yes. Everyone is. But, but, I still believe you can turn this around!" Her tail twitched with excitement.

Conversely, I felt my ears droop. I clutched the book tighter. "How?"

Her face was blank. Clearly, she was not expecting that answer. "You apologize for annoying everyone with your fun facts and making them pay you to stop."

"That doesn't fix everything." I moaned. "I'm still doomed to a life of physics brainrot. I have to be. Because if I let myself get physics out of my head, it won't go back in. And I NEED it in. It's part of me."

"Well,…" She scrunched up her nose. "Maybe the answer is to find people that you CAN infodump to. You have to know who to share it with and who you can't and it's a very delicate balance." She babbled. "Plus, then there are people like Brittany and Eleanor who are sometimes interested and sometimes you talk too long and then they tell you to go away and leave them alone."

"Why is it all so….complicated?" I set the physics book down on the library table.

She stared off at one of the bookshelves. "No one knows really. Life just is."

I startled her by grabbing her hand. "Jeanette, can I ask you something I've never asked anyone before?"

Her tiny mouth opened in an O shape. She squeezed my hand gently and then replied about 5 seconds later. "Sure."

"Can you teach me how to be less of an Insufferable Genius?" I blurted out, my cheeks turning hotter by the second. "Simon tried, but his teaching style and my learning style are NOT sympatico."

"Of course I can." She let go of my hand, her face a canvas of joy and exuberance.

"Phew." I breathed a sigh of relief. "Cuz there's no point in having smarts if you can't, you know, use them for good stuff."

"First lesson. You've gotta make amends." We got up from the table and she put her arm around me. "Luckily, that's something you're good at, because you have to do it so often."

I scowled. I know she didn't mean it in a bad way though. And she was right. "Don't remind me."

"Sorry." She hugged me and then we broke apart. "Good luck with the apologies. I'll be right here, cheering you on, from the sidelines." She assured me.

"Why can't you be right next to me?" I questioned. I would feel more confident in my apologies with her around.

She frowned. "I don't want people to think the apologies are my words. I want them to know they're yours."

Hmm. That made sense. "Got it." I smiled. "Hey, think that apologizing will make me popular again?"

"I dunno." Jeanette shrugged. "But popularity is very overrated anyway. The important thing is to have a few really close friends."

I thought about what she said deeply. Popularity really DIDN'T seem as important as it used to. Which was good, because now that my physics obsession was brought to light, my coolness in the eyes of my peers was cooked.

And then I was off on a new quest. The Alvin Seville apology tour was in full swing. I also returned the crummy racing game and gave most people their money back. (I kept Derek, Amber, and Annie's and trust me, if you knew them, you would too. Besides, that was the money I used on Jeanette's flowers.)

"Sorry I kept trying to talk your ears off about science. I know it was wrong. I take full responsibility." I said to a random attractive girl.

"I promise from now on I will talk about physics only when it's appropriate." I told Tommy. I think that's his name. Random tall kid with a baseball cap. Although, from my perspective, everyone is a tall person.

"Sorry for being a complete jerk. I know what I did was wrong now." I tried to apologize to Kevin and Cheesy, who said they accepted it. However, they also said they still need a break from me for an indefinite period of time. Every apology was hammering in how much I screwed up. If I forgot this lesson, I truly was unteachable.

I found Britt in the hallway on my way to the next class. "I would like to, you know, apologize, for the obnoxious-ness of my behavior recently…and uh…also about not listening to you guys." I fumbled out.

"Why don't you go hang out with your sci fi buddies?" She scoffed, turning her head away from me.

I figured the glasses were bugging her, so I moved them back to the brim of my cap. "Because even Kev and Cheesy don't wanna talk to me." I told her sadly.

She had no sympathy whatsoever. "Yeah, you see, that's what happens when you don't shut up about physics." She walked away from me.

So, I did what any Alvin would do. I chased her. My red converse shoes hit the school floor forcefully. "I know! I screwed up! But the main reason I was talking about physics so much is because I thought that if I didn't talk about it enough, I'd forget." She deserved to know the truth behind my insanity.

I regretted telling her. She turned to face me and scowled angrily. "Maybe it would be better if you DID forget."

I gasped. "No! That would be the worst!" I held my free hand to my chest. The other hand was holding my beloved physics book.

"You could have everything you wanted back." Brittany insisted, in a very enticing way.

I stopped dead in my tracks. "You mean my status?"

"Your status, your old friends, maybe even a wonderful girlfriend if you wanted." She went on, also stopping. I guess she wasn't trying to run away from me after all.

I rubbed my neck with my free hand. That awkward gesture was becoming a habit. Then, I said something that no Alvin besides me would EVER say. "Yeah….uh…Thing is…I'm not so sure I need popularity anymore. It might stunt my growth."

Britt came charging at me and grabbed me by the shoulders. "You have to stop talking to Jeanette! She's putting these silly ideas in your head." She begged. "Popularity doesn't work for her, but it DOES work for you."

"Not anymore, Britt. Not anymore." I said truthfully. The nerdy voice in my head had finally won out. I didn't need popularity. I wanted it, but I didn't NEED it.

Brittany let go of me and growled. "Okay. Pick a new name." She ordered.

"Why?" I asked.

"Just do it." She poked my nose. "Unless you want your new name to be Discount Simon."

Discount Simon? Ouch. "Britt…."

"Ah ah ah." She shook her blurry finger in my face. "Look, I need to know what to call you, because I refuse to call you Alvin anymore."

I frowned. I was still Alvin….partially, anyway. "But won't also calling me Simon just make things more confusing?"

"Fine. Now you're Anti-Alvin." She declared. "See you around, Anti-Alvin." She walked away swinging her hips in a dramatic fashion.

I looked at the ground. "At least it still has Alvin in it." I whispered to no one in particular.

I thought about Brittany as I trekked to my art class. Why was she so against my decisions? These were MY decisions. They weren't Jeanette's. I asked Jeanette for advice and she delivered, but ultimately I made the choice. I had made up my mind. I knew what and who I cared about. I know who I wanted to be. And because of Jeanette's kindness and compassion, maybe I finally had the guts to BE HIM.

It felt like I had very little dimension 'til she widened the view. I cannot even begin to repay her. The irises were a start, I guess. Yeah! They were! And she loved them. Maybe next time I'll get her a book she likes or a plush owl or kitty cat or something. We were two oddballs who got cast aside constantly. We fit together perfectly. I am so glad Jeanette Miller is one of my best friends.

ALVIN: Netta, would you like to put in your thoughts?

BRITTANY: I thought I was the guest narrator!

ALVIN: I can have two guest narrators.

JEANETTE: Well, um, I….I….would love to. If it's alright.

ALVIN: You have the floor, superstar.

JEANETTE: Oh, I'm blushing.

BRITTANY: Get a room, you two.

JEANETTE: Get a room where exactly?

ALVIN: Hahahaha!

BRITTANY: Just narrate.

Jeanette's POV

Watching Alvin apologize to all those people made me even more sure he was serious about what we'd discussed. He was growing in ways he never thought possible and I couldn't be more proud of him. Before, he'd only had one thing to focus on. "Being cool." He called it. Now that he'd moved away from traditional high school "coolness," he could discover that there was so much more he'd been missing out on. His narrow minded way of thinking was slowly but surely opening up.

I sat next to him in art class so that I could see what he was working on. It was a comic of somekind. He sure did love comics. There was a superhero in a red cape fighting what appeared to be a rattlesnake.

"Did you know that a rattlesnake's tail rattles because it's made of special scales?" I asked him, happy to have him there to listen to my interesting infodumps. (I learned the word infodump from Brittany.)

Alvin grinned at me and pushed his red glasses up onto his nose. "That's so cool! Did you know that rattlesnakes can see heat? Infrared radiation?"

"I did know that, but it's cute watching you get excited about it." I giggled.

He slid the glasses back down his nose. "I am pretty cute, aren't I?" He winked at me playfully.

I decided it was time to remind him to apologize to his brothers, if he hadn't done so yet. "Did you get a chance to talk to Simon and Theodore?"

He snapped his fingers. "Dang it! No! But I did talk to Britt."

Oh dear. I know Britt wasn't taking Alvin's decisions to change his life in stride. In fact, she was extremely upset about them. Brittany is my sister and I love her very much. That being said, she is not very enjoyable to be around when upset.

"What did she say?" I lined my set of animal shaped erasers up on the desk, avoiding eye contact with Alvin now, but still listening to him.

"Oh, you know, the usual." He sighed. "That I'm not me anymore, that I'm throwing my life away, that I have some sort of nerd virus, that I'm spending too much time with you…"

"Ah. So she's jealous then?" I asked, turning over the cat shaped eraser in my paws.

"Jealous, worried, something along those lines." He tapped me on the shoulder. "I'm still me, right?"

I blinked. I'm not sure I knew where he was going with this. "Why wouldn't you be?"

"Because Britt doesn't want to call me Alvin anymore." He looked at the drawing of the superhero. I think it was him as Superman. The outfit looked familiar. "And I'm not so sure I feel like Alvin anymore either."

He was struggling. He needed advice before he started to question things more than he should. "It's up to you to decide who Alvin is and who he's going to be." I told him in as gentle a way as I could manage.

"So….I am Alvin….just…not the same Alvin I used to be?" He tucked the drawing into a folder.

I nodded and then the art teacher looked at us. I started back on my project for the week. It was a charcoal picture of a cottage surrounded by all sorts of animals. That's why the animal erasers were on my desk. I needed a good visual. I draw best when I can see the object in front of me.

Back at home in the treehouse, I was still working on my art project. I was also listening to Brittany and Eleanor talk and adding to the conversation now and then.

"…so, I guess since Anti-Alvin's not interested, I'm going to have to work on the school Dance Committee ALONE." My older sister grumbled as she colored in a new fashion design she was working on.

"I would help." Eleanor offered, threading fresh white laces into her sneakers. "But I have a soccer team to lead, a baseball team to lead, volunteer work to do, and I still need time to hang with Theo. He's been feeling more left out than usual lately."

"You wouldn't enjoy it anyway, Ellie." She scoffed, setting her pink pom pom topped pen down carefully.

Eleanor looked irritated by that. At least, I think I was picking up irritation. "What makes you say that? You don't know half the things I like."

"Sure I do!" Brittany got out of her chair. "There's sports, and cooking, and…snooping in other people's buisness…." She scrunched her nose. "And more sports."

"She does fencing." I offered. "And archery."

Brittany glared at me. I didn't understand why she was so mad. Did it have something to do with Alvin? Was she just mad in general? "Yeah. Those fall under SPORTS." She stressed.

"She also plays videogames." I added. "Like that new racing game."

"That was a total dud." Eleanor complained. "Final Drive Fantasy? More like Final Drive Flop! The tracks were so basic."

"At least you were able to get a refund." I reminded her. "And Alvin got one too."

I got up from the table and walked over to water my Irises that Alvin had so kindly bought for me. I hadn't even had to ask for them. Which is good, because I feel very uncomfortable asking for things, even if they're things I really want.

"You mean Anti-Alvin?" Brittany fumed, folding her arms. "Because that is NOT Alvin."

"You really must stop calling him that." I informed her. This was very important for her to know. "You're upsetting his delicate psyche."

She stomped her foot. "And what about my delicate psyche, Sis!? Don't you care how I feel!?"

"Oh, cut the drama, Britt." My youngest sister snapped. It was getting mighty confrontational in here.

"My best friend is basically dying and you're the one who is accidentally murdering him!" She shouted at me. "He doesn't care about anything he used to care about. He isn't FUN anymore. He doesn't even dress the same! He's been wearing his stupid gym shirts for days! They have BLUE on them! Alvin doesn't like blue."

"I….I…." I didn't know what to say to her.

But luckily, Eleanor had some idea. "He's just too lazy to change his clothes. Or, hey, fun idea, maybe we all shouldn't just be chained to a couple colors? Hmmm? Wouldn't that be fun?" She pointed to her sneakers. "Guess what. I like lavender. That's a purple. That's a Jeanette color. Oooooh scandalous." I think she was being sarcastic with the last part. I'm not very good at reading sarcasm though.

"I'm sorry I've been hanging out with Alvin too much." I said to Brittany at last. "And that's taking time away from him being with you. I'm only helping him through a really difficult time in his life."

Brittany sighed and then took a seat, getting back to her fashion design. "I guess you aren't accidentally murdering him."

I furrowed my brows. I was angry at Brittany now. "Are you saying I'm doing it on purpose?"

"What? No no no no!" Brittany smiled at me. I think it was forced, but I'm not positive. "What I'm saying is you aren't killing him at all. But it feels like the Alvin I knew DID die."

I was confused. "But he's still around."

"Urgh. Why is nobody getting this?" She put the pen down again.

"Because he's still annoying. Now he's just booksmart AND annoying." Eleanor explained.

Brittany tightened her lips. "He's very close to stepping on a path that he can't get off of. A path that leads far away from everything that makes him Alvin."

"What things make Alvin…Alvin?" I drew a bit more with my charcoal. "Do you know? Does anyone but Alvin know?"

"I would wager even he doesn't know." My youngest sister chuckled. "Anyway, enough talking about that basket case."

"Do you want to go to the mall this weekend?" Brittany asked, still looking sad.

"Sure." I figured that I could hang out with her instead of Alvin. That might help her cheer up. I would also tell Alvin to discuss things more with Brittany. I feel like she was just lonely and missing when he would call her up and invite her places. She historically doesn't do well with loneliness.

"Eleanor?" Brittany's tail gave a tiny wag. It was good to see her feeling a little better.

The girl in the mint outfit, who had just revealed herself to also like lavender, squinted one of her eyes. "Not much at the mall for me, but I don't have plans this weekend."

"Is that a yes?" Brittany nudged her, smiling.

She batted Brittany's hand away. "It's a yes. But if you make me wear anything with ruffles or make me paint my nails or pierce my ears, you are toast."

"Fabulous!" Brittany hugged us both.

"Does this mean you aren't mad at me anymore?" I asked, as she squished me with her bear hug. She is very strong for her size.

She let me go and then touched my cheek with her hand. "I could never stay mad at you. You're my favorite sister."

"Let's not go picking favorites." Eleanor grumbled.

Brittany touched Eleanor's cheek. "And you're my other favorite sister. You both mean the world to me."

I was a bit confused as to how she could flip so suddenly from being distraught to being absolutely fine. I guess the mall trip was enough to make her stop thinking about everything else.

"Sisters forever! We stand together!" I shouted raising my hands to the sky.

That night, as we were getting ready for bed, Brittany sat at her vanity and looked at the stack of fliers with Alvin's face on them.

"He'll be fine, Britt." I told her softly.

She wiped a small tear from her eye and tried to make it look like she hadn't been crying. "Be careful with him, okay?" She requested. "He's very impressionable right now."

"I will." I had to honor her wishes. That's what sisters do. They listen to and respect each other. "He's in good hands."

"And don't let him manipulate you either." She warned. "He's very good at that. I've seen you editing things for him."

"We have a system." I smiled. "He's also learning how to spell and check his own grammar. I don't do everything for him. Plus, well, he's done things for me too."

"Like buy you flowers." She sulked. Why did the flowers upset her so? Alvin knows I like flowers and he bought me flowers. That's all there is to it.

I tilted my head. "Didn't he buy you flowers too?"

She flopped back onto my bed. "Just stupid fake ones. Shows you exactly how he feels about me. I'm a fake friend. He sees me as a fake friend. He has since that day my secret came out."

Ohhhh! I understood now. "Britt, I don't think fake flowers means he thinks you're fake."

"Well then what do they mean!? And how come you get real ones!?" She muttered.

I ran over to the nightstand where her roses were. I carefully lifted the plastic bouquet and held them out for her to see. "Because these last forever, without much upkeep. Much like your friendship with Alvin." I went on, telling her the way I saw everything. "You both act like enemies. You insult each other, you prank each other, you're rude to each other, you act like you can't stand each other….and yet, you're still friends. You would risk your life to protect him and he would do the same for you. And that, that is what these roses represent."

She took the roses and held them to her chest. A tiny hint of a smile inched onto her face.

"Or maybe it was something as simple as Alvin knows I take better care of flowers or that I'd have more fun watering them and you would complain about it and make Eleanor do it." I added. "But I like the other interpretation more."

"Me too, sis." Her ice blue eyes shined again. She must have been feeling better. "Me too."

I led her to the window and we looked out at the night sky. The stars twinkled like diamonds. I hoped that watching the stars would make Brittany feel as serene and peaceful as I did. Maybe she could imagine them as gems on a new dress design? Or maybe a jacket? Or a skirt? Or maybe a pair of heels? The possibilities were endless.

And, because I had been practicing reading situations better, I knew now was not the appropriate time to tell her fun facts about all the constellations. I'd save that kind of thing for another time. For now, we stood and quietly appreciated the beauty of mother nature after dark.

Chapter Text

A MORE THOUGHTFUL PURCHASE

Genius Alvin's POV

I knew I had changed a lot, but Britt's words kept digging into me. Had I really changed so much that it was a struggle to think of me as Alvin? I didn't want a new name! I liked my name! I wasn't going to just change it to something new without a good reason.

I know Jeanette said I'm still me, even though I'm not the same me I used to be. People change all the time! But which changes are healthy and which ones aren't? Which ones will cause me to actually be a new person? Cuz those are the ones I wanna avoid.

Gah! I am stressing over this waaaay too much. Gotta focus on what's important. I need to find my brothers and make some…uhhh…shoot! What's the word? Amends? Yeah. Okay, I think that was it. I am slowly losing my brainpower, aren't I? I guess TV tropes was right after all.

I slinked into the house and walked upstairs with my head down and body hunched forward. It was the walk of shame. I felt terrible for the way I acted the past few days….maybe a week. I knew Simon was probably gonna be like Kevin and Cheesy and say that he needed an indefinite break from me. I wouldn't blame him.

I knocked gently on the closet door. Hopefully, Simon was inside his secret lab. "Si, I've got…something to say to ya."

Slowly the lab door inched open. "You have 10 minutes. Make them count."

"I'm sorry." I said, entering the lab. "I'm really REALLY sorry. I acted embarrassing and inappropriate and I tried to sucker people out of their money. It was very classic Alvin of me and, well,…I'm not sure I wanna be classic Alvin these days."

"Hey, no, no. You can still be classic Alvin." Simon dropped the wrench he was using to tighten some mechanical thing. I think it was some kind of attachment for the jetpack. "You don't have to give up everything you are in order to improve."

"Why not? You're always annoyed with him." I reasoned.

"That doesn't mean I want you to completely change who you are. If you aren't happy with who you're becoming, then you've lost your way." He reached out a hand.

"But if I don't change enough, who I am…is gonna be an Insufferable Genius, you know, with classic in the mix. It's kinda unavoidable." I explained.

"No it's not." Theodore squeaked, slipping into the lab through the half open door. "All you have to do is practice until you know when is a good time to say stuff. Jeanette said she told you, but you still don't get it, do you?"

"I'm TRYING to get it. Believe me! I am!" I moaned, putting a hand on my forehead.

"Like Theo said, it takes practice." Simon frowned.

"I feel so crummy." I sighed. "I mocked you for all this stuff…" I gestured at his lab equipment. "…and now I'm head over heels for it. I was wrong. Completely wrong. I guess my real talent is being wrong about everything." I muttered that last part, but Si still heard me.

And predictably, Simon hit me with a thinly veiled insult. "That's the most astute observation you've made all day."

I folded my arms and tapped my foot impatiently. "Look, I'm just trying to figure out where I fit in now that I have sub zero levels of popularity."

Theodore looked up at me. "So do you actually like science? Or is it just replacing popularity?" Urgh! I hate that question so much!

Did I? The answer was a lot simpler than I expected. "I like, no, LOVE science!" I blurted out. "I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! I can't get enough!"

Simon furrowed his brows. "I still don't understand why you have to glom on to MY interests AND use them to annoy EVERYONE!"

WHAT!? I thought he liked having someone else to talk science with! "I can't choose what makes my brain go brrrrr!" I shouted.

He got out of his chair. "Brain go brrrrr? Very scientific." He snipped sarcastically.

"Also, uh, glom. That's a cool word. Never heard it before. What does it mean?" I asked, hopping that would make Simon less…mad at me.

"Yeah! I've never heard it either." Theodore added. "But that's true for a lot of words."

Simon closed his eyes. He searched deep in that incredible memory of his. Wish I had a memory like that. "Glom means to become stuck or attached to. To cling, basically."

"Ohhhh." My baby brother echoed. "To cling."

"Don't you see what's happening?" Simon pulled out his whiteboard and drew a picture of me with washable marker. "You lost your popularity and you're trying to make yourself feel better by pretending you're smarter." He drew an X through the crown he drew on my head and then drew a lightbulb above my head. "Really, you're just the same old Alvin. Only now you've memorized some physics facts. It's a cool party trick, but, uh, it doesn't make you "a genius." He set the marker down.

I was stunned. I was hurt. He still didn't believe me? "No. There's….There's more to it than that!" I protested.

"What more could there possibly be?" He snapped, rubbing his head like I was giving him a headache. "Look, Alvin, even though I said I wanted someone new to share my love of science with…. I meant someone who was ACTUALLY interested in science and not just faking it for clout."

"You should just be happy with who you are." Theodore said, patting my arm.

I tore away from both of them and ran out of the lab. "I AM interested!" I jumped onto my bed and curled up into a ball. "Why don't you believe me?"

Simon and Theo both followed me. The taller chipmunk shook his head. "No. You think you are. Really, you just want to SHOW OFF."

I curled tighter. They would never believe me. No one would ever believe me. Unless I told them my deepest fear, what drove my crazy behavior these past few days. "I didn't WANT to show off."

"Well, it looks like you did." Theo pointed out.

"The reason I kept annoying everyone with physics is because I feel like I HAVE to keep repeating stuff so that I don't forget." I hung my head in shame as I sat up cross legged on the bed. "I don't wanna lose this new brain. I love it too much." I put my hands on my head protectively.

"Alvin…" Simon began.

I wouldn't let him finish. I was afraid he'd once again try to convince me I don't know what I want. "I never told you this but, I've forgotten physics before." I squeaked, sounding very much like the little kid I was.

Theo's brown eyes went wide. "What?"

Simon's blue eyes did the same. "Huh?"

"I forgot it!" I stressed, fidgeting uncomfortably. "Probably like 5 times!" I took the physics book out from under my pillow. "I know that the second I stop studying it nonstop, it'll all drip away and I'll be back to exactly where I started. That's why I have to repeat it, inside my head, out loud, and whenever possible."

My younger brothers climbed up on the bed to sit next to me.

"It's okay, Alvin." Theodore hugged me.

"You've read so many physics books repeatedly that I doubt you'll forget everything." Simon took the book and flipped through it.

I frowned. "You underestimate me." I felt tears spring at my eyes again. "Besides, even you and Ellie said I'll lose it. Britt says this is just a phase. Even I know this is probably just a phase, but I don't WANT it to be a phase."

"I'm sorry I teased you." My brother in blue admitted. "I was just very tired and very annoyed."

Theodore rested his head on my shoulder. "I don't get this science stuff at all, but if this is who you are, then you shouldn't have to hide it."

"Just maybe…tone it down a little." Simon slid off the bed.

I followed him and I heard the soft THUD! of Theo following me. "I guess maybe Sheldon Cooper isn't the best guy to emulate." I chuckled, putting my hands behind my back.

Simon looked surprised, then he made that face he makes whenever he's figured out a really tough math problem. "You were purposely acting like him!? Alvin, he's a TV character. They have to be over the top and exaggerated. You don't."

"I don't?" Something about that didn't seem quite right. "But people LOVE Sheldon! He's like the most popular character on the show! He got his own spinoff!"

My brother in the blue shirt slapped his forehead. I assume he thought I said something else stupid. "People love him because they know he's just a character on TV." He explained. "If they actually had to live with him, day in, and day out, they would QUICKLY lose their sanity."

"I see. And that's why I've made you guys lose your sanity?" I rubbed my chin as I walked toward the door with Simon. I think Theo was still behind us.

"Exactly." My fellow genius bro continued. "If people get tired of Sheldon's antics, they can turn the TV off. If you asked someone in real life if they would be his friend, the answer is probably no. Or never in a million years."

"People like Sheldon actually do exist, Simon." My baby bro interjected. "And they don't deserve to be friendless. Your logic is weird." Ohoho! Take that, Simon! Theo knows stuff too!

"Okay, well, yes, but they still shouldn't constantly flaunt their intellect and babble about physics. Especially in the middle of the NIGHT!" He adjusted his glasses as we strode into the hall. "Too much of a good thing is STILL not healthy."

It was like the lightbulb Simon drew above my head earlier caused me to finally have a lightbulb moment. Suddenly, it all CLICKED! I COULDN'T use TV tropes to learn how to use my intelligence after all. But I could still use it for other stuff. "I get it now! I get it! Ohoho!" Then, I got a funny feeling in my stomach. "But, wait, Simon….can I ask you something weird?" I asked, as we started down the stairs.

"Sure." My taller bro helped Theodore down the steps, holding his hand so he didn't trip and fall.

Once we were at the bottom of the staircase, I dropped the biggest and weirdest question ever thought up. "What if I feel like I AM a TV character?"

"Well, you did want to be on reality TV this one time." Theo laughed. "Maybe you are kinda like a TV character."

"Hmmmm." Simon rubbed his chin. "Somehow, we have to make you stop feeling like a TV character and start feeling like a real person. And we'll start…with moderation."

"Moderation?" Theo and I asked at the same time.

Simon nodded. "Work on gaining control of your mood swings, work on making sure you know when to be quiet and when to add your viewpoint. It'll be hard, there's no sugarcoating it, but you do like challenges."

I was filled with unstoppable determination. "I can do this!"

"Mmmm sugarcoating." Theodore commented. "Aw man, now I want another one of those cupcakes."

I poked him in the cheek. "You need to lay off the cupcakes."

"It's not like I eat them every day." He gave me a mini glare. It's less intense than the Simon glare.

"I know." I smirked. "Just messin' with ya."

"So, Si, can I still be your science buddy?" I asked, wagging my tail. "Now that I, you know, have proven myself to be serious about learning."

He smiled at me proudly. "Of course you can."

My brothers and I all sat on the couch in the living room together and played a game of Mario Party. It was super fun! It's been a while since we all played videogames together. During the game, the physics facts finally retreated. With Simon assuring me I wouldn't lose them, I could finally stop thinking about them so hard. I was able to focus on the game and making memories with my favorite brothers in the whole universe.

When we finished the games and also dinner, Theo and Simon pushed me up to the door of Dave's home office. It was time to tackle the next hurdle of my journey. I was not ready. I tried to run.

"Alvin, come on." Theodore grabbed me by the waist. "You have to tell him."

Simon grabbed onto Theodore and pulled him, inching me closer and closer to the door. "Once you tell him, you'll be free. You won't have to hide anymore."

"I'll still have to hide from management." I reminded him, digging my shoes into the carpet.

"We'll take care of that another day." Simon assured me.

"Stop fighting us, Alvin." Theodore begged.

Finally, I stopped pulling away from them and, well, for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction. We all went flying at the door as Simon and Theo pulled backward without my opposing force fighting them. CRASH!

Dave opened the door and stared at us. "What are you doing?"

"Alvin wants to talk to you about his report card." Theodore blurted out.

My dad made a face that was a cross between confusion and worry. Then, he smiled. I was pretty sure he wouldn't be smiling so much when we were finished talking.

Simon handed me the report card in question. It had been delivered in the mail earlier and he'd swiped it for me. Bros looking out for bros. "Good luck." He whispered.

"Please back me up." I whispered back.

"We'll listen through the door and if things get ugly, we'll step in." He patted my back.

"You got this!" Theo whispered. I wasn't so sure.

I gulped and entered the lion's den. I climbed up into the chair that faced Dave's desk. He sat in his chair, hands on the desk, facing me. His eyebrows wiggling suspiciously like two giant fuzzy caterpillars. (I have been spending too much time with Jeanette. Wow.) Bottom line, he didn't know quite how to react to me.

"Well, Dave…" I began, my voice higher than usual. "I have good news and I have bad news. Which do ya wanna hear first?"

He rubbed his temples. "The good news, please."

"I'm passing my extralur…extracur….that extra bonus class with an A!" I boasted, forgetting how to say extracurricular because I was too excited/nervous. "And, my math and science grades are Cs!"

He stiffened his jaw. "Okay, now what's the bad news?"

"I'm failing, well, most of the other stuff." I rubbed my left arm with my right.

"What? Ohhh…." He groaned loudly.

Having been in this situation more times than I could count, I knew exactly what was coming next. I plugged my ears with my fingers and braced myself for the inevitable.

"AAAAAAALVIIIIIIINNN!" My dad yelled, loud enough that our neighbors could hear it.

When I was sure he was finished, I unplugged my ears. "Ya done now? Can I continue talking?" I asked, standing up in the chair.

His frown lines were very deep. "You're failing classes again!?"

"Yeah, pretty much." I jumped onto his desk. "But on the bright side, I'm passing physics! With an A!"

"How could you let everything slip again?" He looked disappointed in me. This wasn't what I wanted for my marking period either, Dave. "You were doing so well."

I held up the report card Simon gave me. "Did you not hear I got an A in PHYSICS! In PHYSICS! You know, a SCIENCE class! I think I've found another passion!" I continued to try and make my dad proud.

He wasn't proud. Not even a little bit. "You're going to have to take summer school unless you get those grades up. I'll call the tutors." He reached for the phone.

I knew there was one surefire way to make him pay attention to me. I yelled the way he usually does. "DAAAAAAAAAVIIIIIIDDD!"

"Alvin, not now." He had his phone book out and was flipping through tutors' phone numbers.

I climbed up his shirt and shook the report card in his face. Maybe THAT would make him notice it. "BUT LOOK AT MY GRADES IN SCIENCE AND MATH! They're higher! I'm not doing worse! I'm doing BETTER. I just gotta figure out, you know, how to do better in EVERYTHING."

Finally, it dawned on him. He snatched the report card and stared at my A in astonishment. "Physics class? I thought you took music appreciation!"

Ohhhh yeah. Forgot he assumed that. "….I lied." I squeaked out.

"What have I told you about lying?" He said sternly. Why was this guy so hard to please!?

I rolled my eyes. "Right, like anyone would believe I passed a physics class without proof! Think, Dave, think!" I replied.

That stopped him. He stood still like he didn't know how to proceed. "…..Okay, um,….So what do we do about your other grades?"

Phew! Finally! "I'll take care of it!" I promised. "Trust me! I'll find a system that works! It'll take some more practice, but I am gonna have Si and Jeanette and even Theo help me. And you too, if you want to. If you aren't busy." I didn't think the last part would happen, since he was usually busy. Really busy.

"I'll do my best." My dad said softly. "But you have to actually pay attention."

"I'll try! I can't say for sure that I will cuz paying attention is super hard sometimes, but I'll try." I put a paw on my heart. "So, that being said, how about my physics grade!? Aren't you impressed!?" Please say you are! Please say you're proud of me! I need to hear those words! Those tiny little words!

"Yeah…" Almost there, just a little more….and then Dave being the clueless guy he is, had to unintentionally ruin it. "But I'd be more impressed if you hadn't blown off everything else to focus on physics."

My ears drooped. He still wasn't proud. All that work for nothin. "So would I, Dave. So would I." Wait a second! It wasn't for nothin'. I was proud of me! And that's good enough! "But, but, I think it's a darn good start! Will you agree to that? It's a darn good start!"

He nodded. "Yeah. It is. I think you'll get somewhere if you keep putting in the effort."

"Ohoho! I will! Just you wait and see!" I vowed.

That's when my brothers entered the room.

"Little late, you guys." I jumped down and nudged them.

"Sorry, sorry." Theo squeaked. "Simon was trying to explain The Big Bang Theory to me and we missed our cue."

"The TV series or the actual scientific theory?" I inquired, that genius level curiosity kickin' in.

"Uhhhhhhhh…." My brother in green looked to my other brother. "Simon?"

Simon chuckled and then patted Theo's head. "The TV series."

"Wait, Alvin likes physics now?" Dave asked us all, scratching his head.

"I'm as surprised as you are, Dave." Simon jumped onto the desk. "Turns out, well,….Alvin is a lot smarter than he looks."

"Hey!" I did not take kindly to that dig at my AWESOME appearance.

It was like Dave was looking at me in an entirely new way. It felt so good and yet so weird. "How much smarter?"

Simon exchanged an uncomfortable look with me. Neither of us knew how to break the news to him.

So Theo did for us. "As smart as Simon."

Dave pointed a shaky finger at me. "W….W….What?"

I smiled awkwardly. "Yeah. You've got two genius kids now, Dave."

"I'm beginning to think Dr. Wilson actually DID fry his brain." Simon commented. I couldn't tell if that was meant to be a joke or not.

I shook my head. "Nah, he's just a really good teacher. The brain thing was probably aliens."

"Alvin, enough with the aliens." Dave begged. "Are we sure he's actually a genius?"

"Yup." Theodore nodded, climbing up to sit cutely on the red chair. "We're sure."

"Want me to write some physics equations on the walls to prove it?" I asked eagerly.

"Alvin!" Simon scolded me.

"No. No. I'll….uh….I'll take your word for it." Dave looked at my report card again. "And also this."

It felt great having my father aware of my new and improved self, but I still had a twinge of fear. Now that he KNEW how smart I was, I could never go back to just coasting by. I had the same sort of pressure to always strive for excellence that Simon complained about. I could feel it. It was tugging at my soul. I needed to come up with a system that could help me pass all my classes. At least I had my family and friends to help!

The next day, I joined my brothers and the Chipettes in class before school started. Eleanor was playing with her phone, Theo was eating gummy bears, Simon was double checking his math homework with a calculator, Britt was filing her nails, and Jeanette was petting something (Pippi I assume) that was in her backpack.

"So," No physics talk. No physics talk. Don't be like Sheldon. Be like Alvin. "Wanna hear how I whipped Simon's behind in Mario Party?"

Brittany let out a sigh of relief. "I would LOVE to."

"There I was, like 6 spaces behind him. We were both selected for a kickboxing mini game. He had my energy bar almost at zero, but then I just started hitting him with all I could muster! Wham! Bam! Smack! His bar hit zero and I advanced to the finish line!" I rambled.

"But I got more coins than Alvin, and I crossed the finish line second, so I won." Theodore reminded me.

I snatched a couple of his gummy bears. "Yeah, but I still beat Simon!"

Eleanor looked upset we'd left her out. I didn't even know she wanted to play. "Aw man. Dude, next time you play Mario Party, invite us."

"You know how much I love being Princess Peach." Brittany added.

Simon shrugged. "I didn't really care if I won or not. If I did care, you wouldn't have stood a chance."

"Oh really?" I stood on my desk. "Let's see ya put your money where your mouth is, pal! Rematch! Today, after school."

"I can't." He said. "I'm going to the museum with Jeanette."

"Can I come too?" I asked. "I like museums now!"

Jeanette came over to talk to me face to face. "It's just going to be me and Simon. Although, maybe you can join us at the next one."

"It'll be out of town though, so you'll need a disguise." Simon added. "Otherwise, the media will have a field day speculating why Alvin was in a museum."

I was HYPED! A day at the museum with my bro and the friend I'd recently grown much closer to. It sounded like bliss. Huh? No barfy feeling. Oh wait, yep. There it comes.

"A museum? Are you out of your mind?" I ignored the voice. From now on, the nerdy voice could have more influence on me. The other voice needed to stay back.

"I'm sure I can come up with somethin'." I said regarding the disguise.

"A museum?" Brittany stared at me in shock. "You want to go to a MUSEUM?"

"I'm a multifaceted individual, Britt." I smirked, taking my glasses off my cap and putting them over my eyes. "Deal with it."

She groaned and then turned her head away from me. Which was fine. She'd adjust. Someday.

"It's been a crazy crazy month, hasn't it?" Theodore asked nobody in particular. I think it was directed at all of us…and also the world.

"Crazy month? Try crazy marking period." Replied Simon, putting the calculator away.

"I like crazy." Jeanette returned to her seat.

I stepped down from my desk and sat in my seat too. "Hey, I know I'm not supposed to talk physics repeatedly, but I have one last teeny little fun fact to share with you. Is that okay?"

"Hey, the dog with a chew toy is back. Om nom nom nom nom. Wanna see the meme I made?" Eleanor teased playfully.

They all looked at me and everyone except Brittany nodded.

The pigtailed girl showed off the meme on her phone screen. Everyone had a good laugh at the golden retriever chewing on a dumbbell shaped chew toy. She had written "Alvin" on the dog and "physics" on the dumbbell. I sensed it was an attempt to make fun of me, but it was hilarious so I didn't mind.

"Go on." Jeanette urged, after the laughs concluded.

"Time freezes inside a black hole due to a little something called gravitational time dilation." I informed them, glad that they let me slip one little factoid in.

"Weren't we like….in a black hole before?" Theodore said, looking at Simon.

My taller bro looked embarrassed. "Something along those lines, yes."

"Oh yeah! From Simon's anti-gravity gravity collapser thingamajig. Hey, I know how that thing works now." Holy nuts! I actually knew how it worked! My voice trembled in fear. "Why would you make such a dangerous thing! Do you know what that could DO TO OUR WHOLE PLANET!?"

"Yes." Simon frowned. "I am aware. That's why I'm keeping it locked in a safe in our basement."

"But…but why even make it in the first place?" I asked.

Simon's ears drooped. "Because I could." He sighed. "I'm just a kid like you. I make dumb decisions too. Just….less dumb decisions than you."

"That's debatable." Jeanette commented, quickly adding. "But I don't want to cause an argument."

"Did Alvin fall into Simon's gene pool or something?" Brittany commented, in her sassy way.

"Essentially. Yes. Kinda." Theo told Brittany.

I just laughed. Nobody would ever fully get used to this, would they? But it was still fun. Enjoying something is the most important thing and I was enjoying being nerdy.

I strolled in Dr. Wilson's class feeling sad. It was the last day of class. I was gonna miss this place. My entire life had changed because I stepped foot in this classroom. How could I ever say goodbye?

"Got any more advice for me before I head out?" I asked my favorite teacher.

He looked down at me and smiled that wise all-knowing grin. "The universe has given you the gift of a bright and curious mind, but it's up to you to use that gift responsibly."

"How do I do that?" I wondered aloud.

He chuckled. "I would start by not terrorizing the other students with physics fun facts."

Oof. He knew about that. "Oooh, yeah, that was out of line." I responded honestly.

"But it's okay that you made that mistake, because you're still learning." He added. It is okay? WHOAH! I can't remember the last time someone said my mistakes were okay! Usually they say they're disasters!

"Thanks, Dr. Wilson." I jumped up to high five him. "You've really turned my life around."

"I look forward to seeing you next marking period. If you're interested." He winked.

WAIT! Hold the phone! "You mean I can take this class again?"

He handed me the sign up sheet. "The next level up, yes. We cover some pretty interesting theories and experiments. There's also a unit about physics throughout history."

"OHOHO! Sign me up now!" I wrote my name on the sheet eagerly. Ohoho! Another marking period of Dr. Wilson! Whooooo! My life was looking really promising!

On Saturday, I spent some time with Britt, like Jeanette had so helpfully suggested. I invited her out shopping, because I needed some new clothes, for multiple reasons.

"I'm thinking of….updating my look to reflect...the new me." I said as we walked along the sidewalk together.

Britt looked very worried. "Will you still wear red?"

"Obviously!" I told her. "Not to the museum because that would give my identity away, but definitely keeping the red shirt and yellow A. I wouldn't be me without it, you know." It was true. It was pretty much my trademark.

"You know, red goes really well with pink…" She began, fluttering her eyelashes.

She was really irritating sometimes. "Haha, I see what you're doing." I frowned at her. "No."

She pointed to a shirt in the display window of a shop we just passed. "You'd look so good in a red and pink checked shirt."

I cringed at the thought. "I'd look like an off brand Jeanette."

"What about stripes?" She nudged me and pointed to a striped shirt that was pink and red.

"Off brand Eleanor." I looked around. Where was that thrift store Dave always goes to?

Brittany giggled. "I knew you'd say that. Seriously, I don't even like stripes." We passed another shop. This one was rather hoity toity. "Oooh. I know. A dark red leather jacket."

"Like mahogany or deep cranberry?" I have a thing for being really specific about describing colors. It drives Simon crazy. To him everything is just light red, dark red, medium red. To me it's crimson, cherry, scarlet, vermilion…

"Yeah!" Brittany pulled my arm.

At last, I could see the thrift shop! "I bet that place has some cheap little clothes!" I said, tickling Britt's arm until she let mine go.

She frowned and followed me. "You don't want cheap."

"Yes, I do. Gotta use my limited allowance to buy a whole new wardrobe." Since I wasn't allowed to raise money by annoying people into paying me to shut up anymore. That was such a steady income too! It kinda sucked.

Brittany whipped out her phone. "Hmmm. That would make a good blog topic." She started to jot it down.

"Take notes." I pulled her into the thrift store. Looking around, I saw racks and racks of baby size clothes that would fit on me. Every color of the rainbow was present! "This is my world."

The diva beside me wrinkled her nose. "It smells like mildew in here."

"Nah, it's musty. Your nose will adjust." I told her.

"You better wash whatever you buy here….10 times." She said, plugging her nose.

I browsed through a rack of baby clothes and doll clothes. "Ooooh….I like this one." I held up a white shirt with a red videogame controller logo.

Britt shook her head. "White doesn't suit you, and it's too easy to get stained."

"Hey, look! They have one in black!" I held up a black one with a red controller that said "Game Over? Not On My Watch!"

"Oh yes, black is a must have." Her icey eyes were glistening. "I love you in black."

"How about this one?" I showed her a long red T-shirt with a rocket design and an earth logo.

She wasn't thrilled. "That's sort of….geeky."

"So?" I asked. I was over trying to not look geeky. At least for today.

"It's also oversized. It's gonna be huge on you." She pointed out.

As if my current favorite hoodie didn't already reach my knees! "I like long shirts! And rockets! I've always wanted to ride a rocket ship to outer space!" I hugged the shirt close.

Britt held up a black jacket while using her free hand to continue to plug her nose. It made her voice sound kinda dorky. "Try this one."

"That's a cool look…." I began, before something across the aisle caught my eye. It was a cyan hooded jacket. It practically glowed as the sunlight hit it. Coulda sworn I heard birds singing too. The jacket was calling to me. "I need this!" I grabbed the jacket and hugged it tightly along with the other geeky shirts I'd picked out.

Brittany was disgusted. "Oh, you don't want that. It's hideous. No one can pull off that obnoxious shade of light blue."

I stuck my lip out and began to whine. "But, I like this color….a lot. I think I can pull it off." Then, I couldn't resist being kinda sassy with her. "And by the way, it's not "light blue" it's CYAN."

"You're nuts." She grumbled.

"Can I please please try it on?" I begged.

"Go ahead, but, you're gonna hate the way you look. I guarantee it." She said seriously. I wonder if she knew she just parodied the slogan of Men's Warehouse.

I slipped the cyan jacket over my red T shirt with the yellow A. I felt POWERFUL! I felt like Superman! It's not quite the same blue Superman has, but it's close enough. Superman's blue is too close to Simon's anyway.

My friend gagged. She wasn't acting much like a friend at the moment. She took a picture of me with her phone and showed it to me. "See? Awful."

"Whoah…..I look great!" I said in astonishment. I really was servin' Superman vibes!

Britt was STILL disgusted. "What?"

I twirled around in my new jacket. "It makes my eyes pop."

"In a completely dorky way." Her disgust was now mixed with worry.

I stood my ground. "I don't care what you think." I said confidently. "Let's get to the checkout."

"It's the ugliest thing you've ever worn. You wear it to school and you'll lose any chance you have at being popular." She warned me.

I kind of did want to wear it to school, but I had a better place in mind to wear it first. Despite Britt protesting the entire time we were at the checkout, I bought the jacket. It felt good to treat myself without worrying what anyone else thought. I should do that more often.

Sunday, I was in my room getting dressed in my disguise. I had my glasses on, my hair messed up, and the cyan jacket covering my letter A shirt. It was zipped up entirely. I kept my same jeans, but I had brand new shoes! My shoes were every color of the rainbow thanks to the designs I sketched and colored all over them.

Simon gasped when he saw my shoes. "Are those the brand new white sneakers Dave bought you!?"

"Um…." Was all I could get out.

"He's gonna be furious!" My brother in the darker blue jacket shouted.

I tied up my shoes and admired the numerous colorful waves and symbols. Hearts, flowers, stars, atoms, music notes, cupcakes, and more. They represented each one of my family members and friends. "Oh relax. They're called SKETCHers. Why would they be called that if you aren't supposed to sketch on them?"

Simon facepalmed hard.

"I think they look super cool!" Theodore was on my side at least.

Dave entered our bedroom. "Boys, it's almost time for breakf….."

I waved awkwardly. "H...H...Hello?"

"What did you do to your shoes?" My dad waved his arms at the "ruined" sneakers.

I lifted a foot and pointed to my shoe. "Are you blind? I colored. They look better now. Perfect for a hipster trendsetter like myself. I mean, come on! I have the glasses for it!" I slid my glasses down my nose for emphasis.

"Little update, Dave, Alvin's a "hipster trendsetter" now." Simon commented with his signature eyeroll.

"And he likes museums now too!" Theo squeaked.

Dave was still mourning my sneakers. "Do you know how much money I…." He shook his head in exasperation. "As long as you like them and get my money's worth….it's okay." Whoah. What's this? A change of heart!? Sweet!

"Thanks, daddyo!" I beamed like the brightest star.

Simon groaned. "You're really wearing those to the science museum?"

"I am a genius and an artist and I want the world to know!" I exclaimed proudly.

Theo reached up and patted our brother's shoulder. "Just let him do it, Simon. It's not hurting anyone!"

"Alright." My taller brother grabbed the museum brochure. "Anyway, we should get going. We don't want to keep Jeanette waiting."

"We don't wanna keep me waiting either." I gushed, overflowing with excitement. "It'll be my first time not being bored at a museum!"

"One last bit of business to take care of before we head out." Simon adjusted his round blue glasses. "You need a new name."

"I thought you said I can still be Alvin." I frowned.

He narrowed his eyes. "For your DISGUISE. You need an undercover name."

"Ohhh." I thought for a moment. Then the perfect name came to mind. "Call me Albert."

I hustled out the door and down the stairs. I heard Simon and Theo talking behind me about…something.

"Does he know?" My youngest bro was asking.

"He cannot possibly know." Simon replied.

Know what? What did they know that I didn't? Ah, forget about it. I was too excited about the museum to care anyway.

I answered the door and Jeanette was waiting there wearing a violet sweater and a plaid skirt in four shades of blue and purple.

She held out the museum tickets. "You look great, Alvin."

"Albert today." I winked. "I'm in disguise."

She giggled and held out her arm for me to link arms with her. "Well, Albert, I hope you're ready for a day of fun."

Simon joined us. "I can't wait to show you the perpetual motion machine."

"Oh yes! You will love it, Alv…Albert." Jeanette added. She held out her other arm for Simon.

"Sounds fascinating!" I grinned.

We walked together, arm in arm, all the way to the bus stop. Then, I boarded the bus and began my next incredible adventure. For the first time since the day I lost my popularity, I was actually looking forward to the future.

Chapter Text

HOW TO CONTROL YOUR IMPULSES

Genius-Alvin's POV

I'm back again! It's been about a week since I visited the science museum with Simon and Jeanette. I enjoyed it a TON! There's something I never thought I'd say. It did help that the museum had several interactive exhibits. Things are a lot less boring when I can touch them.

Let me see if I can remember some of my favorite exhibits there. They had this prism thing where you could bend the lights and see a rainbow. That was pretty awesome. There was also a virtual reality space walk, a wall with a bunch of gears that you had to fit together, and a display of a bunch of circuits that each powered a different light-bulb.

Jeanette really liked the model of a human brain. I wonder if my half-human and half-chipmunk brain works more similar to a human one. Kinda feels like it does sometimes. Jeanette has been studying psychology stuff really hard lately, so it makes sense any psycholoco…psychological…whoah! I said that correctly! exhibits would appeal to her.

Simon was into all the chemistry and archeology things. He dug out pretend dino bones in this sandbox thing, then he played around with an exhibit on balancing chemical equations for, like, a whole hour. I tried that one out too. I thought that since I'm better at math now, I could do it no sweat. I was wrong. Guess I've still got a lot to learn.

I remember just yesterday I brought this up to Simon. I was very eager to share what I'd realized. It's like every single day was a whole new discovery. I understood why Simon and Jeanette throw themselves into their studies so much. The urge to continue to grow my mental ability was restless.

"Ya know, when this first started, I felt like I suddenly had all the knowledge in the universe crammed in my skull." I began. "Then, I started thinking about all the stuff I still don't know. Because the more you know, the more you realize that you can't know everything. Which means, are ya with me?, you can NEVER run out of stuff to learn! You can just learn new things forever! Isn't that cool? I think it's pretty cool."

He rolled over and glared at me from his bed. "Again, Alvin. It is 2 in the morning."

I hadn't even noticed the time. I'd been trying to fall asleep since 10pm, but my brain wouldn't shut up. "Sorry, sorry, I'll sleep."

He smiled at me before closing his eyes again. "But it IS incredibly cool." He agreed.

I think Simon was pretty happy with how well I'd been progressing. I didn't talk people's ears off about physics nonstop anymore. I'd learned to hold back a lot of things actually. Sometimes, I still slipped up, but overall I was improving faster than I expected to.

Even though I'd learned to hold things back and be less of a show off, I'd also learned to be more honest and open with people I trust. That was all thanks to the "How to Be Less of a Jerk" lessons from Jeanette. She didn't call them that. I did. She called them, uh, what was it… "The Road To Self Betterment" or something like that.

Jeanette and I, or Netta as I enjoy callin' her, talked about a lot of very interesting things. I found out she's also read the entire My Teacher Is An Alien series, although she started with book 4 and read the entire arc in reverse. That blew my mind.

"You can do that?" I asked, as we sat in her room on the floor.

She nodded happily. "I have always been able to read things out of order without getting confused. I chronologically re-organize the events in my head."

"I had trouble understanding bits of the story even reading it forward." I admitted. "Like….humans are telepathic? What? That just comes at ya out of nowhere." I rubbed my cheek. It was itchy for some reason. "Do you think that we could be telepathic too? Just like humans are?"

She finally explained it to me, when the book itself wouldn't. "It's a metaphor, Alvin. Humans aren't naturally telepathic. Telepathy represents your willingness to learn about another person and their willingness to learn about you. It's all about being open minded, compassionate, and understanding."

I looked at her, still not fully grasping it yet. Sometimes I learn fast and other times I need to be hit on the head a few times, ya know, metaphorically. "Huh? Really?"

"Yes!" She leapt to her feet and grinned that adorable grin. "Because think about it, if you spend enough time becoming good friends with a person, being open with them, sharing each other's triumphs and struggles, you begin to feel as if you can read their mind."

That did seem…accurate. "I sometimes feel like I can read Theo's mind, but that's just cuz he thinks about food a lot." I joked.

She sat on her bed and fidgeted with the pencil she was holding. "I'm not naturally good at reading people's emotions or their reasons for their actions." She told me. I thought she was better at that than I was. "I prefer it when people tell me why they do the things they do. That's why I get along so well with Theodore. Neither of us keep secrets from each other. We are entirely open book people. Because of this, he knows what I'll say and I know what he'll say at least 75% of the time."

"Like telepathy?" CLICK! Now I finally fully understood. "And that's like….the same thing happening to me and Simon? We know each other more now, so that's why we finish each other's sentences?"

She nodded, excited that she'd managed to teach me. "Yes! Do you understand now?"

"I think so." I stood up and leaned on Britt's vanity. "Do you want there to be no secrets between us? Ya know, cuz, that's what makes you comfortable?"

She stuck the pencil behind her ear. "If possible."

I smiled. I wanted to keep her as comfortable with me as possible. I couldn't lose her by being a jerk. "I can try! It'll take practice, but I do feel like I can tell you almost anything already." I said. "Now, I just gotta get those pesky head voices to shut up." By which I meant Nerdy Alvin and Classic Alvin. I named my voices to differentiate them.

"Pesky head voices?" Jeanette looked baffled.

I nodded. "Yeah, you know, the ones that say "don't tell her this!" "Don't tell her that." "She's gonna think you're insane in the membrane." That better explain it. I don't have another way of telling her.

She frowned. "I…..don't have those." Cool. She clearly thought I was crazy. Maybe I WAS crazy.

I tried to play it off like I wasn't worried. Head voices that tell you two completely different things are totally normal! "That's good. You're super lucky." I squeaked playfully. "They're a real drag."

"Oookay." She grabbed her giant psychology book and sat it in her lap. "Let's get on with the lesson. I know you could discuss alien books all day, and I would love to as well, but we have work to do."

"Technically, according to the laws of physics, every move we make is work. So we're already doing lots of work." I grinned playfully. "Want me to calculate the work we've been doing in joules?"

"Maybe later, Alvin." She opened the psychology book and flipped through the pages. "This is really important."

I snapped back into learning mode. "Okay, okay. I'm listenin''."

Jeanette looked down at me as I sat on the floor, eager for her to fill me with useful information. "I'm going to teach you how to understand feelings and why other people might feel the way they do." She squeaked.

I frowned. "Yeah, that's not my problem." I revealed. She did say to be more open. "I know why people feel how they feel. And I know how to tell what people are feeling. I just….uh, how do I put this?" I racked my thoughts for an eloquent way of saying it. And I got…nothin'. So, I improvised. "Sometimes I don't think about how they feel because I'm too busy thinking about how I feel. I see a situation and an immediate solution and then nothing stands in my way until I realize how much I screwed up and how many people I've hurt by accident." Wow, hearing that out loud made me feel….guilty.

"Oh….hmmm." I can tell that threw Jeanette's entire lesson plan out the window. "That is a whole different problem than I thought we were dealing with." She pursued her lips.

I stood up again. "Is there any way I can be LESS impulsive?"

"You have to be impulsive!" Classic Alvin's voice ranted in my ear. "It's an Alvin thing."

"He can train himself to be less impulsive." Nerdy Alvin responded.

"How?" I thought to him hopelessly.

He wasn't overly helpful. "No idea. I just know it's possible."

Jeanette flipped through the psychology book. "Maybe there's a chapter in here about controlling your impulses. Fingers crossed."

"And if there isn't?" I questioned.

Her midnight eyes shined with confidence. "Then you'll have to just really practice over and over until you've got it."

I flopped backwards onto Brittany's bed. "That sounds impossible!"

Jeanette's little white mouse scurried over to stand on my chest. She put her tiny little paws on my chin, trying to tilt it up.

"Nothing is impossible." Jeanette insisted. "I think I found something."

Pippi continued to tickle my chin, so I gently lifted her off and held her in my hands. At least she didn't nip me this time.

"What did ya find?" I slid off Britt's bed and went over to get a closer look at the book.

"It says that whenever you get impulsive, you should stop and ask yourself why you are doing what you're doing." Oh, sweet Jeanette. That's never gonna work.

I felt defeated. "I want to do it because I want to do it. That's it. That's the only reason I need."

"It also says to know your triggers. Is that helpful?" She asked.

I shook my head. "My triggers are EVERYTHING."

"Think about logic more than emotions?" She wasn't getting desperate yet.

I, on the other hand, was. None of this seemed like it would change my behavior. "Nope. Because every single crazy scheme I cook up is totally logical to me."

"Really?" Now she was beginning to realize what an absolute mess of a person I was.

I explained it more. "Yeeeeah. Starting to think my logic's different from most people's logic."

"Oh man." She nibbled her pointer finger nail. "That makes this so difficult."

"This is what I've been dealin' with my whole life, Netta." I laid down on her bed with my head on her pillow. "Also, I don't GET impulsive. My impulsiveness is a constant state of being. It never shuts off."

"Never?" She studied me with intrigue. "So whenever you want to do something, anything, you just….do it?"

"Well, I think about it a little." I frowned harder. "But my conclusion I come to is always, act now, deal with consequences later."

"I've got it!" The Chipette in the purple jacket snapped her fingers. "We've just gotta teach you to think of the consequences enough to scare yourself into making better decisions."

I sat up with a startled expression. "What? Your solution to solve my anxiety of being a horrible screw up is to….give me MORE anxiety!?"

"Oh…I suppose, yeah, that….that won't work either." She flipped through more pages of the psychology book. "What about positive reinforcement?"

"Thinking positive? I think both positively and negatively at the same time." I stared at her bookcase. We were getting NOWHERE. I was so bored!

"No. I mean, what if every time you succeed in holding back an impulse, I give you a reward?" She proposed.

My tail waggled. "I do like rewards!" I replied.

"Great! Then, that's what we'll do." She flipped the book closed and put it back on her shelf. "We're going shopping."

"How is shopping going to help me be less impul…..ohhhh." I realized her plan. "You're gonna make me window shop and see stuff I want and not buy it?"

"Exactly!" The eccentric girl slipped her beloved mouse into her backpack. "And you can bring Warbie along if you'd like."

I was a little nervous about this idea, but I figured it was worth a shot. Besides, having Warbie there would help. I always feel calmer with him around. Probably cuz he's such a wild card that he MAKES me feel calm in comparison. Silly bird.

A little while later, the yellow warbler in question was perched on my shoulder while I strolled into the toy store with Jeanette. Yep. The TOY store. She was playing hardball right off the bat. I admired her for it. She knew I needed some tough love.

"Wow, this place is bigger than I was expecting." Netta opened her purse so that Pippi's head could stick out.

"Holy guacamole!" Warbie exclaimed. He flew off my shoulder.

I gave him a stern look. "Don't get lost, Warbie. We have to stick together."

"You sound like Simon." He teased.

"I do not!" I folded my arms angrily. "My head has a totally different neurochemical makeup than Si…" And then, I got distracted by something shiny. "Hey, look at that cool motorcycle!" I rushed over to the crimson and silver colored toy.

"Oh boy! I could ride on that!" Warbie landed on the box.

Jeanette peered down at the box as I held it. "Why would Warbie need a motorcycle when he's got wings?"

"Uh, because I wanna go speeding around at 50,000 miles per hour!" My little bird pal sure has an attitude.

"Physically impossible." I said, entirely automatically. "I'm pretty sure it cannot exceed probably 25 miles per hour, maaaybe 30."

The yellow and orange bird with the mop of blue feathers that looked like hair started to grumble. "I thought you had the physics thing under control."

"He's working on it." Jeanette gave me an encouraging half smile. I loved that little half smile of hers.

In fact, I loved it so much that I'd been copying it without thinking about it. It was slowly replacing my smirk as my default smile. It looked fantastic on her, but it was really dorky looking on me. It just didn't fit my cool guy vibe. Oh wait, I'm not cool anymore. Okay, I guess the mimic smile can stay.

Anyway, back to explaining things to Warbie. "Physics and I are currently on a need to know basis." I adjusted my cap. "If I need to know something, it tells me. If I don't, then it stays quiet. Occasionally, it still breaks into my head when I'm doing stuff I don't absolutely need the knowledge for, but not as much as it used to."

"Right, so…" Warbie pecked gently at the box. "Can we get the motorcycle?"

I looked at Jeanette, who gave an ever so slight shake of her head. Getting the motorcycle wasn't what we came here to do.

I sighed. "No, we can't."

"Why not?" Warbie complained. "Why tempt us with stuff we can't have?" He ruffled his feathers and glared at Jeanette.

"It's part of Alvin's training." She said softly.

Pippi wriggled her large ears and then stuck her little pink tongue out at Warbie.

Dang it! I really REALLY wanted that motorcycle. I tried to put it back on the shelf, but my hands wouldn't let go of it.

"I know it's hard, Alvin. You're doing great. Just let it go." The girl in purple was still talking in that same whispery sweet voice, but with firmer undertones.

Fighting harder than I have ever fought before, I put the motorcycle back on the shelf. Warbie perched next to it.

"I still want it." I said glumly.

Jeanette patted my back. "I know you do, but you can't always have what you want when you want it."

"But what are the consequences of getting it? Warbie's happy! I'm happy! We have fun remote controlling it around the yard! I see no downside!" I told her.

"Except that it costs 60 dollars. Which is 60 dollars you could use more responsibly." Jeanette scooped Warbie off the shelf and put him in the bag with Pippi.

Both the bird and the mouse looked at each other uncomfortably. Well, they better get used to hanging out together, because Jeanette and I were gonna be spending a LOT of time together from now on.

"Okay, um, d…don't….don't laugh, but…" I stammered.

Netta put her hand over her heart. "I would never laugh at you. Unless you wanted me to."

I took a deep breath. Why was this so embarrassing? "How do I use it responsibly? What do I buy? Like….staple refills? Binder clips? Notebooks? a sweatervest?" Sweatervest? Where did that thought come from!?

"You'd look cute in a sweatervest." She responded in her usual soft tone. "But really, you could buy any of those things…or anything else that would help you accomplish your goals."

"My goals….hmmm." I rubbed my chin. "Well, aside from become the biggest nerd in school, I don't really have any goals." I joked. WAIT A MINUTE! Since when was becoming a full nerd on my list of goals!? I was perfectly happy being half a nerd!

We walked into another aisle and Jeanette looked confused. "Isn't becoming less impulsive a goal? Getting your grades up in all your classes? And becoming a more compassionate person?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah. All that falls under "become a nerd," Jeanette."

"Why do you want to be a nerd?" Warbie moaned. "You were so awesome before. You're still half awesome. Hold on to the half."

I felt that weird barfy feeling again. "What's the point? If the school's gonna treat me like a full nerd, I might as well be one." Okay, maybe I had listened to my Nerdy Alvin side a little too much.

"Alvin, you can be whoever and whatever you WANT to be." The amazing girl in purple reminded me.

I sighed. "I don't know who I wanna be. I just wanna be better, I guess. Alvin but better. Alv-improved." I chuckled at my lame pun. Because making lame puns is a thing I do now. Maybe it was always a thing I did. I don't even remember.

"And that's exactly what we're going for. Now, let's challenge those impulses some more!" She declared

We strode into four more aisles. I saw so many things I wanted. Videogames, remote control planes, cars, monster trucks, even some new sports equipment. (Although, let's be real, Eleanor has a ton of sports equipment to lend people anyway.) My brand new nerdy side that was growing stronger by the day even found a few things that it wanted. A build your own rocketship kit, a rock tumblr, (Whoops, I mean tumbler. Tumblr is a social media site.) and a a mini mad scientist kit. The third one was calling to me the strongest, but I refused the call because I'm not a scientist. Just liking physics doesn't make me a scientist. Plus, sorta promised Simon I wouldn't be one.

It didn't matter anyway, Netta wouldn't allow me to get a thing, no matter how much I begged and pleaded. It was torture. I was very quickly getting tired of this stupid idea of hers. I wanted to get out of here. The temptation was EVERYWHERE!

Eventually, we returned to the treehouse totally empty handed. I sat through a couple more lessons on how to think about the consequences of my actions and then I pretended to fall asleep.

"Alvin, are you awake?" Jeanette shook me gently.

I yawned. "Just barely."

"No offense, Jeanette, but you are super boring." Warbie blurted out.

"She's not boring." I defended her, even though I was bored, I knew it wasn't her fault. It was just late and I was tired….and annoyed. "Holding back my impulses wore me out." It wasn't entirely a lie. That certainly contributed.

"I guess it's probably time we finish up for today." Jeanette slid a box out from under her bed and grabbed a jar of golden glitter. She sprinkled some over my head. "Before you go…"

"What are you doing?" I asked, the glitter causing me to sneeze.

She screwed the lid back on the jar and tucked it away. "Pixie dust blessing. For good luck. Because I have noticed you seem to have very rotten luck."

I stared at her. How could someone be so wise beyond her years and yet also act like a tiny child? She made no sense. I made no sense. If I wasn't already fated to eventually end up with Britt, which I wasn't thrilled about, we would be the perfect match.

"I don't think that'll work." I said, remembering she wanted me to be open and honest with her.

She winked at me. "It will if you believe."

Warbie giggled at the ridiculous scene from his spot on Britt's vanity. Pippi elbowed him and then squeaked angrily. I guess she didn't like him laughing at Jeanette. Or maybe his laugh just annoyed her in general. I don't know what that mouse thinks.

"You're adorable, you know that?" I chuckled to my close friend.

She blushed. "Just trust me. The pixie dust works wonders." She grabbed something else and held it in her hands. "One more thing before you go." She grinned. "Mr. Snugglepet wanted to say hi. He likes you."

I felt that chill in my spine again. THE SPIDER! I don't like spiders, especially not big fuzzy black ones that look like they're gonna eat your face! "H….Hi, Mr. Sn…Snugglepet."

Warbie decided to be a thorn in my side. "Don't just say hi to him. Touch him."

"No. No no. I'm not there yet." I put my hands behind my back.

"Why? You chicken?" Warbie started making chicken noises. "Bawk bawk baaaawk!" I am very embarrassed to admit, I taught Warbie pretty much everything he knows, including that.

I growled softly. "Knock it off, Warbie."

"Okay, dad." The little bird sassed me. I mean, I guess I am technically his dad. It's WEIRD, okay?

"Boys, that's enough." Jeanette looked at me. "You don't have to touch him if you aren't comfortable with it."

"Nah, ya know what? I'm in the mood to face my fear head on." I said proudly.

Warbie did a little dance on the vanity. "You da munk, Alvin!"

Pippi danced along with him, tail twitching excitedly.

I gulped. "Bring him closer." I told Jeanette, my voice trembling.

She looked unsure if this was a good idea, but she stepped closer to me.

I reached out a very shaky hand and inched it closer and closer to the spider.

"Almost there." Came Warbie's voice.

"I don't need a play by play." I grumbled.

Finally, my hand connected with the gross creature in Jeanette's hand. His back was furry, but not furry like mine. I hated the feel of it. But….he wasn't trying to eat my face off.

"You did it." Jeanette beamed at me. "I knew you could."

I gave Mr. Snugglepet two more tiny tickles and then took my hand back. "Yeah. It wasn't actually that bad."

"You know, trying new things could be very good therapy." She put the arachnid creature on her shoulder.

I picked up Warbie and let him perch on my cap. "Whoah whoah…therapy? Is that what all this is?"

"Kind of." Jeanette revealed. I had no idea this was THERAPY! I hate therapy. "It's behavior training combined with helping you cope with being less popular."

"Well…." I mulled it over in my head. Jeanette wasn't hurting me like my past therapist, who wouldn't allow me to fidget, had done. Maybe I could still handle this. "I'll keep getting therapy, but ONLY from you."

She stuck a gold star sticker on my cheek. She was a very odd girl. I liked her a lot. I guess the gold star was my positive reinforcement. She really should get better rewards, like candy. She could basically train me like a dog if she gave me candy.

The next day, after my training session with Netta, I had school again. Time to try and practice what I learned, right? Be less impulsive. Think about consequences. Think about how other people feel, instead of how I feel. Be more open and understanding.

"You're blocking my locker, weirdo." Brittany's voice shook me out of my thoughts.

"My bad." I moved out of the way.

She grabbed her textbooks. "So, I hear you and Jeanette hung out AGAIN last weekend."

"Yeah, but I also went to see that movie with you. Remember? The one about the girl….and that guy….and the gift box." I blabbered.

She sighed. "You can't even remember the name of the movie. Shows how much you enjoyed it."

"I did enjoy it though! Really, I did!" I stuck my hands in the pocket of my cyan hoodie. I had chosen to wear it to school today for the first time. It was unzipped so that my red shirt with the yellow A could be visible.

"Stop lying to me." Brittany started to walk to class.

I frowned as I followed her, grabbing my books from my own locker. "My memory is all spotty again now that you guys made me stop talking physics all the time." Wait, Why was I blaming my family and friends for my shortcomings? "I mean,…" I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I really did enjoy the film. I don't remember it well, but that's all on me. It's something I'm working on."

Brittany's eyes went wide. "You're not supposed to say that." She replied.

"What am I supposed to say?" I asked.

"I dunno." Brittany was getting more and more frustrated by the minute. "Something, anything, that sounds like Alvin."

"Sorry I didn't enjoy your crummy chick flick?" I questioned. That wasn't the truth though. I did enjoy it. Which surprised me because it was in fact a chick flick.

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank goodness. You're still in there." She gulped. "For now anyway."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, taking a seat at my desk.

"Alvin, look at me." She stood in front of my desk. "You've still got time to back out of this. I talked to Jesse and Tracy. They said you could turn everything around in a few days if you drop this nerd act."

"I HAVE turned everything around." I said forcefully. "I just haven't turned it in the direction you wanted me to. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to triple check last night's math homework." I slid my reading glasses down from the cap brim and over my eyes.

She walked back to her desk, looking distraught.

"So you're really a nerd now?" John, another random student, asked me. "Like Kevin and Cheesy?"

"Ah ah ah. I'm HALF nerd." I insisted. "And half cool. I'm playin' in the soccer championship this week. If ya watch me, you'll see how incredibly cool I still am."

Amber and Annie laughed. "You? Play soccer?"

"I thought you only cared about physics now." Derek teased.

"That's enough, you guys." Simon sat down at his desk. He'd come to my aid, once again. "Leave my brother alone. He's had a very stressful couple of months….Mostly, thanks to you."

Annie laughed harder. "I guess that, like, totally proves it. Nerds defending nerds. Love to see it."

"Don't get too close, you'll catch Alvin's geek cooties." Ray Ray commented.

I held up my math book in a threatening manner. "Keep it up, fellas. You're cruisin for a bruisin."

"Alvin, no!" Jeanette took the math book from my hand. "Violence is not the answer."

I sulked. "Fiiiine. I won't hit them with any more textbooks." I promised.

"Alvin actually DOES play soccer, you idiots." Eleanor was coming to my defense too. Wow. "He's one of the best players."

"Yeah! And I am totally going to win the championship!" I boasted. Wait, no, did that sound too arrogant? "I mean, I'm totally gonna try my best to win the championship, but it doesn't matter if we win or lose. It's how much fun we have doing it that matters!"

"What?" Eleanor got out of her seat and rolled, yes rolled, to my desk like a super spy on a secret mission. "What do you MEAN it doesn't matter if we win? We have to win, Alvin. It's the championship!"

"Jeanette said winning isn't everything, and she's kinda right. I mean, sports are fun and all but whenever we get too competitive things usually go south. People get injured." I babbled, quite impulsively.

Eleanor stomped back to her seat and looked angrily at Jeanette. "Nice going, sis. You've wrecked my best player."

"She's done more than that." Brittany whimpered.

I raised my pointer finger in the air. "I actually think not being as competitive gives me an edge." Although part of me still had that competitive spirit, it was like a blazing inferno. I was the volcano and it was the lava, but currently I was a dormant volcano. I wouldn't erupt anytime soon.

Brittany blew her nose on a tissue. She was clearly still under the impression that Jeanette was on some mission to take away everything that made me Alvin.

Theodore was also in the room, but he was busy listening to his headphones until Miss. Smith arrived and started class. I don't think he heard anything going on, and if he did, he did a great job ignoring it.

"Get in your seats, right now." Miss. Smith strode into the classroom. "And take out the headphones." She looked directly at Theo.

He slipped his earbuds out and shoved them into his hoodie pocket, looking frightened.

I raised my hand high in the air.

"What is it now, Alvin?" My teacher rubbed her forehead. I could tell she was exasperated with me already. I hadn't even DONE anything.

I cleared my throat. "Would it be okay if I walked everyone through the homework? But, but, not in a showoff-y way, in a teachable way?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Are you saying you want to teach math class?"

"Uh…just like….a fraction of it." I squeaked. "If that's alright."

Kevin and Cheesy both snickered at my math joke and Simon rolled his eyes.

Miss. Smith looked from me, to the lesson plan, and then back to me. "Sure. Whatever. Go for it." She stepped aside to allow me to jump up onto her desk. "I didn't feel like teaching algebra today anyway." I heard her mutter.

Britt raised her hand.

I didn't know if Miss. Smith was gonna call on her, but it didn't look like it. I called on her instead. "Yes, Brittany?"

"I need to go to the office. There's been, uh, an emergency and the principal needs me." She said.

Hahaha. I knew that was a lie. She was tryin' to get out of having me be her teacher for one class period. Eh, I'll let her have this one.

"Alrighty, well, see ya. Tell Principal Meadows I said "hi." I told her. I hadn't seen the principal in a while. Well, actually only a week, but that's still abnormal for me.

Brittany left the room with a horrified look on her face. She slammed the door pretty hard on her way out.

"Okay, guys, who can tell me the first step towards finding x in problem number one?" I asked my classmates. Many of them, aside from Jeanette, were staring at me in surprise. It finally dawned on me what I was actually doing. All I intended to do was prove I could walk people through parts they didn't understand without being a condescending jerk about it. Unfortunately, my nerdy impulses had turned me from teacher's pet into the teacher. This was NOT scoring me cool points.

And now I was stuck. I agreed to do this, so I had to see it through until the end. I managed to get through the algebra homework and the scariest part is, I enjoyed every minute of it. Okay, so, maybe Britt was right about Jeanette warping my personality. Why else would I be doing this?

"Because you want to." That nerdy voice in my head echoed. "You want to share your knowledge with everyone. I'm so proud of you."

No, stop. Get out! Think about less nerdy things. Like sports! Like soccer! Yeah, that's it! Just think about soccer! Only soccer! I could break free of this hold that my nerd side had on me! All I needed was practice turning it on and off.

SIMON: Man, I forgot about that until just now.

ALVIN: With your super memory? Really?

SIMON: You just took over the class from Miss. Smith and she LET you!? It doesn't feel REAL!

ALVIN: At least that didn't become a normal thing. It was only for one day.

SIMON: Right. Is it my turn to narrate now?

ALVIN: Well, it was supposed to be Eleanor, buuut, she's busy with a new mystery to solve, so I'll have her narrate for the next two chapters.

SIMON: A wise decision.

Simon's POV

After the absolute shocker that math class turned out to be, everything returned to, well, ALMOST normal. The rest of the school day went on as usual. When lunch period rolled around, we all saw Brittany again. She was the person having the worst time adjusting to Alvin's changes. I wasn't having a particularly easy time either, but she was falling apart.

"He's further and further gone each day, you guys." Britt looked sadly down at her lunch tray.

"Yeah. I'm with Britt. He's suddenly not competitive and he volunteered to teach math class." Eleanor commented, drawing out soccer plays in between bites of her sandwich. "Jeanette's lessons have gone too far."

"I think Alvin's doing very well." Their sister and Alvin's new favorite person to spend time with, spoke sweetly.

As much as I hated to disagree with Jeanette, because I knew her intentions were good, I was with Brittany on this one. "Don't you think you could….cut back just a little? I mean, there's being a better person and then there's being someone entirely new."

"He's not someone entirely new." Jeanette insisted.

I looked around the lunchroom and saw Alvin talking to a group of random girls. "Explain this then." I pointed at the scene, hoping everyone would take notice.

Alvin was doing something that wasn't too out of the ordinary. He was trying out pick up lines on girls. However, it was the WAY he was doing it that was cause for alarm.

"Hey, gorgeous. According to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your hotness with me." He said to one girl, who walked away from him looking positively disgusted.

My brother wasn't even phased. He scampered up to another girl. "I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a large force inversely proportional to the distance squared." Once again, this girl walked away.

"Your smile is warmer than hydrogen plasma." Alvin was getting very desperate now. The third girl scoffed. "You are such a geek."

He walked up to a fourth girl and said something even worse than the last three pickup lines. "Wanna hang out and measure the coefficient of static friction between us?" She dumped her tray of mashed potatoes on his head. I hate to say it, but it was warranted.

Brittany glared at Jeanette. "Sis, I thought you said you were going to FIX the physics thing. Why is he still talking about it?"

"Um, Brittany, those weren't only physics facts." I mentioned. "They were pick up lines."

"I keep waiting for him to get bored with all this, but he seems to really like being a nerd." Theodore shrugged. "It's not the worst thing he could be."

"But it's not ALVIN." The Chipette in pink insisted.

"Yes it is." Jeanette sighed. "Do we have to keep talking behind his back like this?"

"Look, as long as he plays in the soccer game tomorrow, I don't care if he's Alvin or not." Eleanor crossed her arms. "But the second he drops sports, we have to do something."

Brittany moaned. "If it gets to the point where he wants to drop sports, we'll be too late."

I frowned. "I don't know what's going on with him." I admitted. Alvin's supposed intelligence had been growing RAPIDLY ever since he told me about it. He wouldn't stop surprising me with new things he learned. But, but, it also wasn't constant anymore. He didn't shove it in my face. The lessons Jeanette and I were giving him were working, mostly Jeanette's. Sadly, it seemed that the lessons were stripping away every last bit of the Alvin I used to know.

"I do!" Brittany waved her arms. "He dilly dallied and took his sweet time deciding whether or not he wants to be popular anymore. Then, he decided that he doesn't! The status quo is upset and it's trying to change Alvin to make him fit his new role of unpopular loser."

I glared at her.

"No offense, Simon." She added.

Theodore tilted his head. "I don't think the status quo has feelings. It can't be upset."

Brittany clenched her fist. "I'm telling you. If we don't act fast, there will be nothing left of him. Nothing. Alvin Seville will cease to exist."

I frowned again. At first, Brittany had seemed crazy. Loony. Off her rocker. But the more I hung out with Alvin, or "Albert" as he called his in disguise persona, the less crazy Brittany seemed. "Suppose you're right. I hate to say it, but…we might already be too late."

"You need to scan his brain. Find out what's going on in there and bring him back." Brittany grabbed my hands. I don't like being touched without warning. "Please. Please at least try. I can't just let him go knowing we didn't even try."

"I'll see what I can do." I didn't exactly have a brain scanner handy. I'd have to build one.

"Hey, guys!" Alvin bounded up to our table and sat down, brushing the chunks of mashed potato out of his hair. "Whatcha talkin' bout?"

"You." Theodore blurted out, before anyone could stop him. I handed him my chocolate chip cookie. Hopefully that would keep him QUIET.

Alvin sighed. "If it was about the math class thing, I don't know what came over me, but it'll never EVER happen again. I promise."

"If you don't know what came over you, you don't have control over it." Eleanor pointed out, sounding almost as scared as Brittany. "Which means it could happen again."

"No, it was just, I wanted practice not being a show off and it backfired." Alvin rubbed the sleeves of his cyan colored hooded jacket. He had a nervous energy about him, something that wasn't typical for Alvin. Why was he wearing his "Albert" jacket to school anyway?

Brittany stared at Alvin, her face filled with grief. "I love it when you show off."

"Really?" Alvin challenged her. "You're always complaining about it."

"I guess you never know how much you love something until you watch it go." Brittany stood up from the table. "Anyway, I have to go sit with the cheer squad. They just texted me."

I didn't see her check her phone at all, but I stayed silent. I knew she wanted to get away from Alvin.

As Brittany left, Alvin picked at the food in his lunchbox. "She hates me now. I knew this being half-nerd thing would drive a wedge between us. I was right." He slumped his shoulders. "Even the less popular girls hate me too. I tried to use killer pickup lines and….nothing!"

"That's because you used physics as pick up lines." Eleanor smacked Alvin gently upside the head. Maybe that would knock some sense into him.

Alvin rubbed the sleeves of his jacket again and hugged himself. "I….I didn't know they wouldn't be into it. I thought, well, I don't know what I thought. I'm new at this, okay?"

"It's okay, Alvin." I said, softly. WAS IT ACTUALLY!?

"Oh, hey, I just had a great idea! Can you and Netta and I take a trip to the bookstore? After school today?" He asked, having apparently shaken off the pick up line disappointment already.

"Netta? Who's Netta?" I raised an eyebrow. "Is she a new friend of yours?"

He chuckled. "An old friend. I mean Jeanette." He opened his thermos and started to eat the mac and cheese Dave packed.

Jeanette smiled. "It's his pet name for me."

Oh gosh. Were they….a couple now? No, no, don't be ridiculous. Alvin gives everyone nicknames. It's what he does. It doesn't mean anything. Besides, I have no romantic feelings for Jeanette. Even if Alvin did fall in love with her, I wouldn't care.

Brittany on the other hand….may actually throw herself off a cliff. You see, it was OBVIOUS Brittany had a crush on Alvin. Obvious to everyone except Alvin. I assumed Alvin had a crush on Brittany too, but he wasn't aware of that either. This was not looking like a very good situation.

"Simon? Hello? You there, bro?" Alvin clapped his hands next to my ear. "You're zoned out as much as I usually am."

"Sorry. I was…thinking." I answered. "It's chronic genius overthink. Anyway, yes, um, yes, we can go to the bookstore."

"Awesome!" Alvin cheered. "Ohoho! I love books!"

After our classes and extracurriculars concluded, the three of us rode the bus to the bookstore outside of town. We all shared a seat and Alvin sat in the middle. Or, excuse me, ALBERT, my "genius cousin," sat in the middle. Alvin had once again donned his disguise. He was getting far too comfortable in it, if you ask me.

The cyan jacket, rainbow shoes, and unkempt hair did a lot to make him nearly unrecognizable. If that wasn't bad enough, he also talked in his irritatingly wordy scholar voice the entire time. It was all just an act. At least, it was supposed to be an act.

"Have we arrived at our destination?" Alvin/Albert asked.

I sighed. "Can you just say "are we there yet?"

He shook his head. "That's what your brother Alvin would say."

"You ARE my brother Alvin." I whispered.

"Not at this present moment." He replied. He was too method for his own good sometimes.

Jeanette sat quietly, looking out the window.

I let my mind mull over the situation at hand again. How and why had Alvin chosen the name for his fake persona anyway? Was he just going for Albert Seville as the opposite of Alvin Einstein? (That's a nickname he gave himself. I personally hate it.) Or was there some other reason?

In fact, he didn't know it, but his name wasn't really Alvin at all. Dave had picked something different to name him officially. I found out about it when Eleanor had snooped on our adoption certificates. Most of us never consider his original moniker because it doesn't fit him well. Or at least, didn't in the past.

Lately, he truly seemed less like Alvin and more like Albert-Vincent. The name suddenly made a lot of sense. Could Dave have seen this potential in him when he was younger and simply forgotten it existed? Of course, we would NEVER tell Alvin, lest we unleash a NEW identity crisis of epic proportions.

Did he know already? No! There's no way he could have possibly known. Maybe somewhere deep in his subconscious he remembers being called that for a week? Before switching to his nickname? Yeah. That's very likely. Then, that subconscious memory kicked in and he chose Albert.

The bus lurched to a stop. We all filed off the bus. Alvin didn't say a WORD. That was very abnormal. At the museum, he wouldn't shut up. It was still annoying, but it was also very exciting to see him fully immersed in the joy of discovery.

Whatever happened to Alvin, I knew one thing was for sure, I couldn't take learning away from him. If that slowly turned him into a completely different person, well, I was just going to have to adjust. But hopefully Jeanette was right. Hopefully there was still the old Alvin in there. He wasn't coming out as often because he didn't feel like he had to. Perhaps that was the answer.

I entered the bookstore with a lot still on my mind. Little did I realize, by the middle of the week, I would have an entirely NEW problem on my mind.

Chapter Text

BLIND PANIC

Genius Alvin's POV

I looked around at the enormous maze of bookshelves. The tingling in my head was almost unbearable. I still don't know why that sensation happens every time I indulge in a nerdy passion. It mildly concerns me….mildly. Maybe I'll ask Jeanette about it one of these days.

"I could live here." The beautiful girl in the purple sundress patterned with all sorts of flowers twirled happily through the aisles.

Did I wanna live here? Nope. It would get boring after a while. It's not like all I wanted to do was read. "Magnificent collection they have here." I commented, keeping up the whole "Albert" act. It's really more of a half-act.

Simon looked at his watch and then stuck his hand in his jean pocket. "Is there anything in particular you came here to get?"

I shook my head. "We're just looking around."

Jeanette nodded. "Yeah. Probably won't actually buy anything."

I waved my arms in an arc above my head. "It's all about THE EXPERIENCE!"

Oh crap! Now Simon looked annoyed. "You mean we rode about 2 hours out of town just so you could LOOK!?"

"Affirmative, dear cousin." I found a shelf of kids' books. "Oh, hey, what's this? Animorphs?" I read the back cover. "OH SWEET! THESE HAVE ALIENS!"

Simon yanked the book out of my hand and put it back on the shelf. "No! You are NOT reading any more books about aliens!"

"And remember, we didn't come here to buy books." Jeanette reminded me. "We came here to help you curb your impulses."

"Right, yes, how silly of me." I wrote the name of the series down on my notes app. "I can just borrow the whole series from the local library one book at a time. That saves me money. It's the most responsible thing to do."

Simon frowned, but then smiled a weak smile at me. Was he worried I was giving in to the whole "Albert" act? Did he think all of this was part of the act? Cuz I actually really WANTED to read more books. I was pretty addicted to reading.

"Speaking of libraries…" Simon browsed through a rack of science themed books, including one on Biology. "Are you ever going to get your own library card and stop using mine?"

Was I? Was I ready for one? "Not yet. Those are like nerd identification tags." I shuddered.

His eyes half closed. He looked extremely irritated. "Have you looked at yourself lately? Pretty sure the nerd ship has sailed."

"I'm only half-nerd." I insisted.

"He'll get a library card when he's good and ready." Jeanette came to my aid once more.

"Or NEVER." I made a silly face at him, sticking my fingers in my ears.

"You can't rush these things." She smiled and then returned to looking through the shelves.

Simon rolled his eyes. "Let me know when you're finished looking and we can go." He instructed.

"Sure thing!" I browsed through more books with Jeanette.

Eventually, once we were ready to go, I'd written down more book titles I was interested in. Jeanette had bought three books for herself. Two Sherlock Holmes (notice I no longer refer to him as Smerlock Jones) novels and a book about fairies in some magic kingdom. Simon picked out a book on Calculus, which I would be borrowing at some point. After all, math is the language of physics.

Back home, I changed out of my disguise, aside from the cyan jacket, which was once again unzipped. I decided to keep the rainbow sneakers on too, since I was in the house. I hopped up into the dining room chair, ready for dinner. Simon sat down next to me.

"You, err, did well at the bookstore." My taller brother told me. "You didn't throw a single temper tantrum."

"Thanks. I've been practicing, you know, that whole delayed gratification business." I replied proudly. "It was NOT easy."

"Speaking of "not easy." Simon grabbed a plate of peas and carrots. "How are the grades?"

"I dunno." I rolled a pea around in my fingers. "Haven't really checked. I'm too afraid to look."

"Oh boy! I smell something yummy!" Theodore burst into the room wearing a big green sweater with a gingerbread man on it. It wasn't even Christmas time yet.

"It's just peas and carrots, Theo." I groaned. "Again."

Dave walked into the room carrying a plate of something that WASN'T peas and carrots or salad. It was a quiche of some sort. Theo was right, it did smell delicious.

"Actually, I thought we could have something different for a change." Dave let us all cut our own slices of the quiche. With a butter knife, obviously. He'd never let us touch a real sharp one.

I dug in hungrily to the rare delicacy. "Is this a reward for my good behavior?" I asked.

"Uh….sure." My dad took his seat. "Why not?"

Simon stood up on his chair. "While I have all your attention, has anyone seen my notes for biology class?" That's the extracurricular he was taking this marking period. "I seem to have misplaced them."

"I dunno where they are." Theodore squeaked, taking another bite of quiche.

"I haven't seen them, Simon." Dave added.

I smirked. I had a funny joke I was sure Simon would get. "I can't pinpoint their exact location either, but I do know how fast they're going."

Surprisingly, Simon didn't catch on. "What are you talking about?"

Seriously!? How was he not getting this. "Dr. Wilson said "If you know where a particle is, you can't know how fast it's going and if you know how fast it's going, then you don't know where it is."

He didn't laugh. Weird. "Oh. Heisenberg's Uncertainty principle." In fact, Simon looked really weirded out by the fact that I knew that.

"Yeah, you know, that iceberg guy." I added.

He sighed. "Heisenberg. Say it with me. Heisenberg."

I rolled my eyes. "If I know the rule, do I really NEED to know the name of the dude who came up with it?"

Simon sat back down in his chair. "Yes. It's about giving credit where credit is due."

I noticed that Theo was staring blankly at both of us. Then, he looked toward Dave at the end of the table. "Dave, can we have a no science talk at the table rule? Just for today?"

"That sounds great. Okay, boys? You two could use a break." My dad said to my sciency brother and me. Or my sciency brother and I? I dunno which one is correct grammar…or why I even care about correct grammar?

"Fine." Simon and I both answered at the same time. We exchanged creeped out glances. That was happening more frequently these days.

Dave took a bite of his quiche while he thought of something to ask us. Then, he talked again. "So how was your day?"

I tapped my fork against the table. "How am I supposed to tell you about school without using science talk!?" I exclaimed.

Simon was riding the same train of thought. "He's got a point." My brother in blue blinked and then looked distraught. "Did I just say that?"

Theodore furrowed his brows. "You could tell him about the non science classes."

That thought never crossed my mind until he said it. "Oh, well, uh, English class was alright. Math was weird. Ellie lectured me about focusing more in gym class. I wrote a whole short story in writing. It was about a zombie apocalypse. You're probably not interested. Oh oh, and art class was fun. We sponge painted!" I rambled. "And you all know about Dr. Wilson's class, so that brings me to the end of my day. Si, you wanna tell us about your day?"

Simon stammered a bit. "W…W….Well, it was…a usual school day, aside from Alvin teaching math class."

"You TAUGHT math class?" I could see Dave pinch himself on the hand. Ya ain't dreamin' Daverino.

I tried to downplay it. "All I did was walk the class through the homework. That's all." Speaking of homework, I still had a lot of that to get done. Sigh. I so wanted to read comics and watch TV. Or go to the skatepark! This homework kept sucking up all my time, and I didn't even KNOW if my grades were actually improving or not.

"Through….math homework?" Dave asked again.

I folded my hands and sat as still as I could manage. TORTUROUS. "Yes."

Let's just say dinner was pretty silent after that. My brothers and my dad didn't know what to think. I was creeping them all out. I was creeping me out too. So, I decided that I WOULD play videogames or watch TV after dinner and THEN do my homework.

I turned on an absolutely mind numbing cartoon to watch. I had briefly considered Jimmy Neutron, but that wouldn't help people see I was still pretty similar to the way I used to be. So, I picked Johnny Test. Faced paced, tons of jokes INCLUDING fart jokes, annoying whip crack sounds. Something that classic Alvin AND I were still totally into.

As I watched it, my enhanced brain started to wonder if Theo felt like Johnny Test. Did he think that I'd eventually become a scientist like Simon and we'd both do crazy experiments on him? Is that why he was creeped out? Whoah, I am ACTUALLY thinking about Theo's feelings instead of my own. Jeanette's lessons REALLY WORK WONDERS!

"I thought you were going to do your homework, Alvin." Dave sat on the couch next to me. "This doesn't look like homework."

Theodore peered over the arm of the couch. "Maybe he forgot already."

TV charges my brain so that I CAN do homework, at least, I think it does. Haven't tested that theory yet. "I'll get to it. Don't nag me." I pushed up my red glasses.

"Or you could do homework FIRST and reward yourself with TV time after." Simon suggested. "Just a thought. Just throwing it out there."

"No." I stated firmly. "I gotta do it this way."

"Okay. Okay." Dave got up from the couch. "Just don't get too wrapped up in it."

"Yeah. We are really worried about your mental health." My baby brother in green added, his lip quivering.

"My mental health is fine. I am fine. Please leave me alone." I stated, staring back at the screen. It was a REALLY funny episode, about ol Johnny trying to get out of taking a shower. He was stinkin' the Test family out of their house.

I made good on my promise and as soon as I'd watched a couple episodes, I took out my homework and started working on it. I was roughly a quarter of the way through my stack of assignments when Dave came into the bedroom.

"Alright, fellas. It's almost 10:00. Lights out in five minutes." He said.

I groaned loudly. I thought I had more time. "But I'm almost done with my homework." I protested. That was a lie. I was 25% done. That's a far cry from "almost."

He looked at me sternly. "You can finish it in the morning."

"I stomped my foot. "No, I CAN'T! My brain doesn't work in the morning!"

"Well, maybe if you hadn't watched TV so long, you'd be done with it by now." Dave told me.

Urgh! Why does he always say that!? "I only watched a couple episodes!"

Simon, who was on his bed doing his nightly reading, couldn't resist adding in his UNWANTED comment. "Let it be known that "a couple" has been redefined to mean twelve."

"They were SHORT episodes!" I fumed.

"If you account for commercials, that's four episodes an hour. So, and I hope this is an easy question for you, how many hours does it take to watch twelve episodes?" Simon closed his book and stood on the bed, hands on the knobby thing at the end of his bed.

"Uhhh…." Theodore tapped his chin. When did he get here? "I know it….I know it….is it three?"

I wanted to disappear. I was so sick of being teased for not realizing stuff that they could. "Three hours?" No wonder I ran out of time.

"That's correct." Simon jumped off the bed and walked over to me.

Dave started picking up my papers and clipping them together with binder clips. "I'll wake you bright and early and we can finish it together."

I groaned loudly. "Whatever." He was gonna find out that I hadn't done much of the work. Then he would probably yell and ban me from TV until it was finished. Unless…

That night, I did something else brand new I'd never done before. I got out of bed, ran downstairs to Dave's office, found where he was hiding my homework, and finished it all. When it was finally complete, I collapsed on Dave's desk. I had done it! I was home free!

Until…

In the morning, Dave flicked on the light in his office and saw me. "This is getting out of hand." He said.

"I know." I admitted, squinting as my eyes adjusted to the brightness. "But at least the homework is done." Which was WAY more important than me not sleeping. It's not like I ever actually slept anyway. I was too busy waking up from nightmares. Still, I knew this was by no means a good system for balancing my workload. I still didn't know how to use my new smarts correctly. But, but, I was slowly SLOWLY getting there. It was an uphill climb and I was gonna make it to the top. I had to.

ALVIN: Go, Eleanor! You finally get to narrate! Whoooo. Sorry I made ya wait so long.

ELEANOR: This is gonna be a blast! Thanks, Al.

ALVIN: Don't call me Al.

ELEANOR: Are we at the soccer game part yet?

ALVIN: Obsessed much?

ELEANOR: You should talk.

ALVIN: We're at the practice and the intervention.

ELEANOR: Awesomesauce! Here we go!

Eleanor's POV

Hey-yo! Eleanor Miller here! That's E-L-E-A-N-O-R! I'm the sportiest girl in school. You name a sport, I've probably not only played it, I've won. First place! Okay, maybe that SOUNDS like bragging, but it's not. I'm totally serious.

Aside from sports, I have a LOT of other hobbies. There was this one time Jeanette filmed a horror movie with me as the star. I've also volunteered at the zoo, and as a junior lifeguard, Oh, and once I helped Theo draft up a restraining order from his brothers because they wouldn't stop fighting. I took an online class on how to be a lawyer.

Knowing all this about me, you would think I'm the most memorable person ever, right? Haha! WRONG! You see, I have this crazy supernatural ability that makes me invisible while still being visible. It is SUPER annoying. I'm learning to live with it.

It makes so many things a lot harder than they have to be. Such as, here's a random example, trying to schedule a bus to get my soccer team to our championship game. I had been on this call for at least 20 minutes now. I still needed to get ready for school!

I tapped my foot impatiently as the guy on the other end of the line tore away at my sanity. "…I don't see a reservation here for anyone named Eleanor. Are you sure you have the right company?"

"Yes! Yes! I am SURE! I called an entire week ago! You said I could rent a bus! I paid for it and everything!" I shouted, outraged at their INCOMPETENCE.

Silence. I took a deep breath. Then, the obnoxious voice spoke again. "Sorry, there's no Eleanor Miller on this list."

"I know I'm on the list! Show me the list and I can find my name!" I insisted. I'd been in this same situation many times. I'm NEVER on the list. They skip right over my name. It's degrading.

"Sweetheart, I can't show you the list. We're on the phone." The man continued.

I facepalmed. "Just take a photo of the list and SEND me the photo. I'll circle my name for you." I growled. "And DON'T CALL ME SWEETHEART!"

"I'm sensing a little hostility. I'm gonna have to ask you to calm down." The annoying phone man continued.

I took another deep breath.

"Eleanor!" I heard Brittany yell. "Are you okay in there?"

I opened the bedroom door and glared at her. "Not now, Britt. I'm on the phone."

"But I left my pom poms in there and I need them to practice!" Oh, right, I forgot she sometimes practices her routines before school.

I searched the bedroom for the pom poms while I continued talking to the idiot who couldn't find my name on the list. This town is full of people who cannot do their jobs. "Can you PLEASE send me a photo of the list?"

"I can try. Hold on." The guy replied.

What does he mean he can try? It is a YES or NO question! While he was doing that, I grabbed Britt's pretty pink pom poms from beside her bed. I opened the door and tossed them at her, shutting the door again.

"Thank you!" Her chipper voice squeaked.

"Did you get the photo?" The man asked.

I put my phone on speaker and looked at my messages. "Yes, I got it. I'm looking over the list now."

It didn't take me long to read through the list and discover the problem. My name WASN'T on the list. But a huge typo was. Ellen Miller. Whoever heard me spell out my name on the phone before, hadn't been paying enough attention. "Found it."

"Really?" He seemed shocked.

"Ellen Miller is me." I explained. "They wrote my name wrong."

He sounded even MORE irritating. "Are you sure?"

"That's the only Miller on the list. I'm POSITIVE." I let out a sigh of relief. Another problem solved.

"Okey dokey. We'll send a bus to Santa Barbara High. I have that correct, right? Santa Barbara High?" I couldn't tell if he was serious or joking. I was too busy fuming.

I clenched my jaw. "That's right. Thank you." I finally hung up the phone. I rubbed the bridge of my nose. This day was off to a bad start ALREADY.

I made it to school and hurried into class. I wasn't late, but even if I was, nobody would notice. Except Theodore! He somehow always notices me.

"How's it going?" I asked my friend in the green hoodie.

His deep brown eyes were full of sorrow. "I'm really worried about Alvin. He stayed up all night doing homework."

I sighed. As much as I really wanted to chat with Theodore, this was NOT a topic I wanted to talk about AT ALL. It was the same thing we'd been discussing for weeks. Alvin, Alvin, and more Alvin. If I had to hear about that basket case one more time, I was going to SCREAM. In my head, of course, not out loud.

"Do we have to talk about you know who?" I asked.

"He's not well." Theodore whimpered. "Brittany's right. He's changing too much. I don't even think he's happy. He's just trying to be really really good to make up for all the times he wasn't so good."

I propped my head up with my arm. Clearly we couldn't get off the topic of Alvin. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! "Was he EVER well?"

"It's scary!" He reached out his hand to mine. "I don't even know how to talk to him anymore."

"Just don't." I gave him the best answer possible. "If he wants you to understand him, he'll learn to cut the dictionary babble."

"I think we need a family meeting." Theodore whispered.

"Good thinking." I responded, barely caring about the family meeting. I had other things to worry about. "Call one after school today."

"I'll text Dave and let him know." The boy in green nodded.

Great. So it was settled! We could finally stop talking about Alvin. That kid drives me up a wall. How is he an unpopular kid and yet STILL noticed more than me? All attention is on Alvin at all times. It makes me wonder if trying to make a name for myself is even worth it sometimes.

"Did you manage to sort out the phone stuff this morning?" Brittany asked, taking her seat.

"Yeah. It was BRUTAL. When are people going to stop misspelling my name?" I groaned.

Jeanette looked up from her butterfly design covered notebook. "I'm not sure. I don't even know why they do it."

"I do." I said bitterly. "It's my superpower."

Brittany rolled her eyes. "We don't have superpowers. This isn't some comic book."

"I talk to animals." Jeanette cut in. "That's kind of like a superpower."

"It would be more impressive if you weren't an animal yourself." I commented. "But I guess it is pretty cool."

Theodore joined in our conversation. "I can taste things really good! That's pretty much a superpower."

"Everyone can taste things, Theo." Brittany leaned back in her chair.

"Not the way I do." He folded his arms.

"None of us have superpowers." My sister in pink stated again firmly. "I know, because if we did, Eleanor would be a supervillain."

I laughed at that one. "Only if you cross me."

"I'm picking up more drill sergeant energy than supervillain energy." Jeanette commented.

"Eh, next to Coach Dopkins, I look like a total softie." I lied. I knew I could be just as hard on everyone as he was.

"If you say so." My sister in pink squeaked.

After that, class started. Nothing super noteworthy happened until two classes later. Alvin didn't try to teach math class again, thank goodness. Maybe that really WAS a one time thing.

I couldn't wait until gym class. In fact, I left class five minutes early to get to the gym before everyone else. No one noticed me leave. No one ever does. I'm used to it. Besides, I liked having the entire gym to myself. After a quick round of warm up stretches, I kicked my favorite soccer ball around, practicing my moves. I began to sing one of my favorite songs. It's by Simple Minds. You guys probably will recognize it.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey

Ooh, woah"

I raced across the gym floor, kicking the soccer ball around cones I set up.

"Won't you come see about me?

I'll be alone, dancing, you know it, baby

Tell me your troubles and doubts

Giving everything inside and out and"

Using the wall as another player, I kicked the soccer ball at the wall repeatedly.

"Love's strange, so real in the dark

Think of the tender things that we were working on

Slow change may pull us apart

When the light gets into your heart, baby"

I needed a break from kicking the ball at the wall, so I climbed onto the bleachers to dance around.

"Don't you, forget about me

Don't, don't, don't, don't

Don't you, forget about me"

Jumping down from the bleaches, I bounced the soccer ball gently off my head. I had to be careful, but let's face it, I had a pretty hard head. (In more ways than one.)

"Will you stand above me?

Look my way, never love me

Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling

Down, down, down"

I went back to the cone drills and went through them even faster this time.

"Will you recognize me?

Call my name or walk on by

Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling

Down, down, down, down"

Back to the wall, I imagined another player there instead of the wall. It was Tommy. That kid with the red plaid shirt and the baseball cap.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey

Ooh, woah"

I wasn't even tired. I could do this all day if I had to. My stamina was unmatched.

"Don't you try and pretend

It's my feeling we'll win in the end

I won't harm you or touch your defenses

Vanity and security, ah"

I imagined Brittany cheering for me as I scored the winning goal at the championship game.

"Don't you forget about me

I'll be alone, dancing, you know it, baby

Going to take you apart

I'll put us back together at heart, baby"

I picked up the soccer ball and twirled it around on my finger as I completed singing the song.

"Don't you, forget about me

Don't, don't, don't, don't

Don't you, forget about me"

I was startled by someone else entering the gym. It was Simon, followed by Theodore. I wondered if they heard me singing.

"That's a nice song." Theodore said softly. Well, that answers that.

I tossed the soccer ball up and kicked it at the wall for the hundredth time. "Thanks. What's up?"

Simon looked nervous. "We just came to let you know, to, well, uh, go easy on Alvin today. He didn't get much sleep. He's going to be off his game."

I rolled my eyes. "Is that it? I already know."

"He's fragile." Added the shorter boy in green. "He's very excited for the championship, but we're worried he's gonna push himself too hard."

"So, it's up to you, coach, to keep him from getting hurt." Simon added. "We're counting on you."

"I got this." I spotted the boy in red and kicked the soccer ball over to him. "He'll be fine." I assured his brothers.

All Alvin needed was some tough love and a good pep talk. I could get his competitive spirit back up, which would help him feel better about EVERYTHING.

Alvin kicked the soccer ball back to me. Then, I started bouncing it on my knee.

"Eleanor, we're worried you aren't taking this seriously." Simon snatched the soccer ball while it was suspended in midair.

I clenched my jaw and balled my fists. "I am taking it seriously. I won't go too hard on him. Now, give it back." I tried to wrestle the soccer ball from Simon, but he passed it to Theodore, who caught it.

"Don't go hard on him AT ALL." Theodore stressed, giving me back my soccer ball.

I felt my shoulders tense. "I heard you the first time."

I ran up to Alvin, who had taken a seat on the bleachers. His glasses were up on the brim of his cap and he was squinting. I took a seat next to him and held the soccer ball in my lap.

"Hey, Eleanor." He greeted me.

"You pumped for the championship?" I asked. "I already made space for the trophy in my room. I have been dreaming about this day for a whole year!"

"Oh yeah! I'm totally excited." Hmmm. His excitement seemed genuine.

I stood up on the bleachers and handed him the soccer ball. "Great! Now, let's practice some drills."

"Uh, just a second." He took his glasses off his cap and put them in the case he pulled from his backpack. "Simon, can ya hold these so I don't lose 'em."

"Sure." Simon took the shiny red case.

"Now, are you ready?" I asked Alvin impatiently. "Or do you need a pep talk first?"

"I'm ready. Let's do this!" The red capped boy took off his cyan jacket and tossed that at Simon too. He used his brother as a chipmunk coat rack. I was glad that wasn't me. Brittany uses me as a shopping cart enough.

Alvin and I ran through a bunch of practice drills. Then, our gym teacher, Coach Dopkins showed up and pushed us all even harder. Alvin was doing well, don't get me wrong, but he wasn't his best. He kept tripping over the ball. It was almost like he couldn't see. That doesn't make sense though. He only needs his glasses for reading.

I dominated practice, and when it came time to play soccer for our actual class, I crushed that too. I was unstoppable! Undefeatable! And yet, all attention was STILL on Alvin. It was like our ENTIRE world revolved around him, no matter how many times people said it didn't.

Case in point, after school, Theodore called us all to the Seville house for a family meeting. I got comfortable in one of the red-orange chairs in the living room and waited for the man of the hour to show his stupid, easily distracted face.

"Heeey, look who finally showed up?" I teased when he arrived at last. "Didn't ya get Theo's text?"

The boy in the cyan jacket and red shirt with the yellow letter A looked confused. "What is all this about?"

"We need to talk about….the new you." Dave patted the couch next to him.

Alvin didn't sit down. He stood angrily by the TV. "So this is some kind of Alv-intervention?"

I laughed at that. It was stupid, but it was funny.

"No. It's not….it's not an intervention." Dave looked to Simon for help.

Simon bit his lip. "We just want to talk about, you know, the persona you have invented."

Alvin started to whine. Yep. Everyone saw that coming, right? "Why don't you like him? I put a lot of time and effort into crafting that guy. He's literally just me but upgraded in the BEST ways possible!"

"It's not that we don't like him, Alvin…." Simon frowned.

Brittany interrupted him. "He's just not the REAL you."

"Maybe he's closer than you think." Alvin grumbled.

"We're just concerned. That's all." Dave continued. "We want you to be happy with who you are."

Simon nodded. "And we think that you're, uh, moving a bit too far away from who you are." He explained.

You would think that would knock some sense into doofy little Albert, but nope. Even as a nerd, Alvin was still completely unaware of his identity crisis.

"Maybe I am, but that is MY mistake to make." He said forcefully. "It's MY mistake to learn from. I'm still trying to figure this out. I'm going to make mistakes and that's okay!" He jumped up on the coffee table. "I know that I'll eventually find my way back to being me. So just STOP worrying, because I am FINE."

Theodore let out a cute little sigh. "Which is what someone who's not fine would say." EVEN THEODORE NOTICES IT!

"Put a sock in it, Theo." Alvin snapped. Ah, there's the old Alvin. He's not that far, I guess. "I mean, uh, can you please shut, err, close your mouth? Please."

Jeanette stood up in the chair opposite mine. "I think this has all gotten out of hand." She said softly.

"We are trying to save your life!" Brittany stepped onto the coffee table. "Before you mess it up beyond repair."

"Yeah." I cut in. "And you need to get your head out of your butt and focus on what YOU want for YOUR life."

"My head isn't in my butt…" Alvin started to pace, getting more and more ticked off by the second. "Stop getting on my case!"

"Then stop acting like a total geekazoid!" Brittany shot back.

That's when, Alvin totally lost it. "I get it. All of you miss the old Alvin." He sneered. "Well, by all means, why don't I just bring him back so you can yell at him for being a nuisance and a bitter disappointment!?" He grumbled sarcastically. "None of you are actually worried about me. You're just mad your little scapegoat quit his job!"

Awkward silence filled the room. Was that what Alvin thought of us? That all we saw him as…was a person to pin the blame on? Yikes. That kid is going through some SERIOUS stuff.

"Alvin, I know you've been the new you for quite a while in secret, but to most of us…it feels like it happened overnight." Dave stood up and put a hand on Alvin's shoulder. "We're all having a lot of trouble adjusting."

"We want you to stay safe." Theodore climbed up on the table to hug his brother.

I smiled at him. "You're a unique and pretty cool guy. We'd hate to lose that. You would too."

The confusing chipmunk let out a strangled sigh. "Just let me be, you guys. The old Alvin is right here." He put a paw over his heart. "He always will be."

Brittany blinked back tears. "Then let us see him."

"I will. I'm working on stuff. Now, can I get on with my day or are you going to follow me and whine about how I'm throwing my life away?"

"You can leave, I guess." Simon looked at his brother, face stricken with worry.

"Thanks." Alvin hopped off the coffee table and shuffled out of the room.

I had no idea just how deep the issue went. I thought Alvin was just acting to act. I thought it was like a school play for him. He'd eventually get bored and bounce back to what he was. Instead, he seemed to actually physically reject anything that made him remotely fun. I wondered if he'd actually play in the championship game, or if he'd drop out at the last second. Either way, that kid needed some SERIOUS therapy.

ELEANOR: You're up again, Two point psycho.

ALVIN: I have asked you not to call me that.

ELEANOR: Sorry sorry. I couldn't resist.

ALVIN: What is with you guys and messing with me?

ELEANOR: In your words "you just make it so easy."

ALVIN: This part's gonna be hard to write. I remember it well cuz trauma memories are like that.

ELEANOR: Are you talking about what happened at the game or before?

ALVIN: …..Before.

Genius Alvin's POV

They had an intervention for me. An intervention. I was trying to be a better person, and they treated it like I was addicted to something dangerous. Other families would encourage this behavior. No, not my family. I wasn't Alvin enough and I didn't care. I was so over being Alvin enough for anyone. Yeah, no, that's a lie.

Because the day apparently wasn't done throwing obstacles my way, I had to deal with ANOTHER horrible situation. So far, Jeanette's pixie dust blessing did not in fact change my luck.

I sat down on the nice comfy armchair in the living room and heard a loud crack. I really hoped it wasn't what I thought it was. Sadly, yes, it was.

I took the two pieces of the broken object and presented them to my brothers in the dining room.

"I broke my glasses." I felt like an idiot again.

And of course, Simon couldn't help but tease me. "How? Trip and fall down the stairs?" That's how he broke his one time.

I fought the urge to tease back. "More embarrassing actually."

"Oh brother." Theodore groaned.

Si's tail wagged. He was enjoying this. "Do tell."

"Well, I was reading a book, I got up to get a drink. Set them on the chair like an idiot….and when I came back I had forgotten they were there so…..I crushed them….with my butt." I told them the full story as I remembered it. No lies.

Simon and Theo burst out laughing.

I scowled. "It's not funny! It means I have to go to the eye doctor again. I hate that place."

"Sorry sorry." My brother in blue let out another chuckle.

Theodore giggled even harder. "I didn't hear anything after "I crushed them with my butt!"

Looking at my broken specs, I grumbled. "Real mature, fellas."

"Okay, Dave!" My brothers chorused.

I rolled my eyes as I tried to get myself something to eat for dinner. "Yes. Laugh at my funny lingo. Like it or not, I am my father's son and with that comes his stupid old man talk." I struggled to open a container of yogurt and when I finally got it open, it splattered all over my face.

"In all seriousness, I'm sure the eye doctor can have those fixed for you in no time." Simon told me. "Or you can use tape."

I stomped out of the room. "I don't want to be a stereotype!" I exclaimed.

As soon as Dave found out about the glasses, he scheduled me for another appointment with "Dr. I forget his name because I don't like that guy." I got to miss half a day of school, but if all went well, I would be back in time to still have art class with Netta and physics class with Dr. Wilson. I'd also have writing class and English class too, but I was less concerned about missing them.

I suffered through the eye tests and then the eye doctor looked over my results and compared them to the results from last time.

I sat in the chair, staring at all my blurry surroundings. "So, can I get new glasses?"

"You're going to need a new prescription." He told me. "But for now, we'll take the lenses from your broken glasses and stick them in a new frame."

"The same style? Or a new style? And the same color?" I asked. I didn't want to get used to a new style. It took me long enough to tolerate the red hipster glasses.

"Your choice." He said warmly.

I squinted across the room. "The same ones."

"One last thing before you go. I'd like to put drops in your eyes so I can examine them further." He continued, grabbing the container of eye drops. "It's the protocol in situations like this."

"Situations like what?" I gulped. "Are you saying there's something wrong with my eyes?"

"Not necessarily." The doctor invited Dave inside. He thought having Dave there would help calm me down. "But better safe than sorry."

"It'll be okay, Alvin." Dave told me, standing beside the chair. "The drops feel funny but they don't hurt."

I decided to be as brave as possible. "Okay."

Yeah, I regret that. The drops made my vision weird and swirly and even blurrier. Even putting on the new glasses frame (which was near identical to my old one) didn't make it any easier to see.

"What did you do? I can barely see anything." I moaned.

The eye doctor chuckled. "It'll wear off in a day or two."

TWO DAYS OF THIS!? "But….but…I have to play in the soccer championship!" I said pitifully. "The team's counting on me." Well, Eleanor was counting on me. The real reason I needed to play in the championship was to prove I could be nerdy and sporty at the same time!

Dave's stern voice filled my ears because his face was just an abstract blob. "You're not playing in the soccer game. There will be other games."

I cried, which only made my vision blurrier. "But it's the CHAMPIONSHIP" I stressed.

Dave picked me up. "End of discussion, Alvin. It's too dangerous for you to play soccer if you can't see."

"I'm afraid I have more bad news on that front." The eye doctor added.

I clutched Dave's shirt with my furry hands. I could smell his old man deodorant and it was really overpowering. "More bad news!? Can the bad news just STOP already? I've had all I can take!"

"You have to know now." The doctor said. "If I wait, it'll only make it more painful."

I groaned loudly. "What, what is it?"

"You need to wear the glasses full time now. Your eyesight has deteriorated rapidly. Far faster than we expected." When he said that, I felt like my whole world was ending all over again. "That's why I dilated your eyes. Usually, if someone's sight goes that quickly, it means there's a bigger problem. However, your eyes look fine. Nothing serious going on."

"Just the big genetic Simon curse." I grumbled. "Dave, can I skip the rest of school today?"

He didn't answer.

"If you're nodding, I can't see you." I reminded him.

"Oh." He hugged me tightly to his chest. "Of course you can."

I went home and spent the day listening to my favorite songs and listening to my favorite episodes of TV shows. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. I also had a twinge of empathy for anyone who's born blind or becomes blind through an accident. This was rough.

My brothers eventually came home. Theodore was right by my side, assuring me everything would be okay. "Dave told us everything. Sorry you can't play in the game tomorrow. I know you were really looking forward to it."

I sighed. "It is what it is." And who knows, maybe my eyesight would be restored enough to play in the game. I am a fast healer. I have broken a LOT of bones in my life and they healed really fast.

"That's a good attitude to have." Simon told me. I wished I could see him clearly….or anything clearly.

I started to sob. "But if I don't play in the championship, people are gonna think I'm lame FOREVER! I'll never get to prove I can still be cool!"

"You cannot play soccer with dilated eyes." Simon insisted. "It's a recipe for DISASTER."

"I know what'll make you feel better, Alvin." I didn't know what Theo was doing, but then I heard music playing and he began to sing.

"I don't have digital

I don't have diddly squat

It's not having what you want

It's wanting what you've got"

Wise words, Theo. Wise words. It was a very Theodore song choice.

"I'm gonna soak up the sun

I'm gonna tell everyone to lighten up

I'm gonna tell 'em that I've got no one to blame

For every time I feel lame I'm looking up

I'm gonna soak up the sun

I'm gonna soak up the sun"

He helped me down from the bed and led me outside. I could feel the warmth of the sun on my face. Hey, just like in the song.

"You've got a crummy job

It don't pay near enough

To buy the things it takes

To win you all of their love"

Maybe Theo was right. Maybe trying to make my peers love me was an exercise in futility. (Yes, I picked that phrase up from Simon.)

"Every time I turn around

I'm looking up, you're looking down

Maybe something's wrong with you

That makes you act the way you do

But maybe I am crazy too!"

Simon must be out here too, because he joined Theo for the final chorus. Ah yep, there he was. Blue and brown blob next to the green and blonde one.

"I'm, I'm gonna soak up the sun

I'm gonna tell everyone to lighten up

I'm gonna tell 'em that I've got no one to blame

For every time I feel lame I'm looking up

I'm gonna soak up the sun

While it's still free

I'm gonna soak up the sun

Before it goes out on me."

"Do you feel better now?" Theodore asked me. A good song could always lighten my bad mood. Even a sad song could somehow pick me up when I'm down.

I nodded. "I think I do. But, did it HAVE to be Sheryl CROW!? You know I have a real beef with crows."

He giggled. "She's not a real crow, Alvin."

"Even the word sends me into a tizzy, Teddy boy." I warned him.

Simon groaned loudly. His groans were much more annoying when I couldn't see him. "You're fighting a losing battle, Theo."

"No, he's not." I admitted. "The song made me feel….uhhh….about 30% better."

"Yaaay!" Theodore grabbed my hand and dragged me inside. "Now, I'm gonna make you feel even better! Let's have some pizza."

"Dave got pizza?" I smiled. My dad knew I was having a bad day and he got my favorite food for dinner. Maybe this was a sign things would be okay?

YEAH RIGHT! The next day, AKA championship game day, I was blindly trying to find my way around school when I stumbled into Britt in the hallway. My eyesight was slowly returning, but it wasn't good enough for playing soccer. I knew that. I hated that I knew that.

Brittany scoffed at me. "Hey, Alvin. Come to tell Eleanor you can't play in the championship game?"

Crud! Well, now I HAD to tough it out and play somehow. "Well, actually….uh…no no. I just wanna tell you I went to the eye doctor again and uhhhh….I have real bad news."

"What?" She sounded scared.

"I have to wear these full time now." I tapped my replacement glasses. "I'm blind, Britt. I'm as blind as Si." Ouch! There's that really painful stabbing in my soul again.

"NO!" Brittany shouted. "But….how could your eyes get worse so fast?"

I shrugged, trying to pretend I wasn't absolutely torn apart over it. "I dunno. The eye doctor said I'd have a few years! But it's only been like HALF a year since I needed them for reading."

"So this is it then, you can't take them off anymore?" Her voice sounded strained, like she was seconds away from sobbing.

I nodded. "Might as well be glued to my face, yeah. This is what I have to look like from now on. Day in, day out. I'm not happy about it either." The only silver lining was that I was currently unable to see my reflection YET.

Brittany tried to hide her tears, but a few slipped out. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I didn't believe you about the glasses being mind control before. I'm sorry." She grabbed my hand and stroked the fur on it. "Alvin, before you no longer exist, just know that, well, you were my best friend and no one can ever replace you. Ever."

"Thanks, Britt." I said, looking down at the ground. I guess looking wasn't the right word though. "I'll still be here whenever you wanna talk to me. And someday, you'll realize I've been here all along." But WAS I? The universe seemed to want to pigeonhole me into a total nerd. I chose to fight it.

Because I am the biggest doofus to ever walk the planet, I stubbornly decided to play in the soccer game anyway. I hoped that word never got around to Eleanor about how messed up my eyes were. I was gonna rely on all my other senses. How hard could it be? Chipmunks have better hearing and smell than humans. Faster reflexes too. So what if I saw everything distorted?

I was about to run out onto the soccer field when suddenly I stopped. I began to second guess my choice before making it! Jeanette's lessons DID pay off! In the worst way possible! This was new for me. I wasn't acting purely on impulse. I rationalized that I had come this far and I might as well go for it. I tried to move forward but my legs were stuck, frozen stiff. My body was telling me "no no no bad idea." But I wanted to play in the GAME!

"What's wrong, Alvin?" Eleanor's voice? Where was she? Wait! There! I could make out a teal and yellow blob coming toward me.

"I can't do this." I told her, in the same weak pitiful voice I'd used in the eye doctor's office

She poked at my chest. "Why not?"

Then, I said something else entirely out of character. "It's too risky. What if I get hurt?"

"Too risky?" The pigtailed girl echoed. "You're Alvin! Risky is your thing!"

Risky WAS my thing. I had so much more at stake now. My glasses might break AGAIN. I might trip because my eyes were STILL dilated. "What if I get tripped by someone? What if they step on me?" WAIT WAS THAT OUT LOUD!?

Eleanor groaned and stepped behind me. She tried to physically shove me out onto the field. "You think too much now."

"I can't help it!" I shouted, not that anyone but Ellie heard me over the cacophonous roar of the crowd. "I have what Simon calls chronic genius overthink!"

She stepped in front of me again. "Look at me, Alvin." Haha. I am, but you look like a blob. "Everything amazing you've ever done in your life so far happened because you weren't thinking." She lectured. "So get out there, turn your brain off, and WIN THIS MATCH!"

The competitiveness inside me boiled a little. "I'll try…"

"Where's your spirit!?" She exclaimed, pushing me again.

"I'll try!" I said more forcefully. I could feel my spark returning, the spark I lost in the past few days as the exhaustion set in.

Eleanor gave me a shove and I was on the field. "Louder!" She called.

Classic Alvin's impulsive nature bubbled back up to the surface. "I CAN DO THIS! Brain, OFF!" I ordered.

"Atta boy! That's what I like to hear. NOW GOOOOO!" Eleanor ran onto the field with me.

My genius overthink brain was taking a backseat. The only knowledge I needed was soccer plays and soccer rules. It was time to win the championship and finally become the perfect mixture of nerdy and cool! Finally! I could almost taste the sweet victory.

The game went surprisingly well to start. I couldn't see much at all, I'd even left my glasses behind on the bench so that I didn't have to worry about them slipping off my face. I was as blind without them as with them. For the first time in weeks, I felt that adrenaline rush that I was always chasing before I tried to mold myself into a stellar student everyone would be proud of. I felt like ME again.

And I'd love to say that the championship game ended on a high note, but I can't. In fact, I never learned how it ended until much much later. The consequences of my bad decision finally caught up to me. The soccer ball came out of nowhere, hit me straight in the face. I could feel myself flying through the air. Then, the next thing I knew, I was tangled in a net. Someone had kicked the soccer ball into the goal and it had taken me with it.

I felt like I was gonna be sick. Dave was right! This was too dangerous. My head hurt, a lot. This was worse than a usual headache. I couldn't actually think too good, errr well. My last thought before I blacked out was "WHY DID I DO THIS!?" Then, I fell completely unconscious.

Chapter Text

HEAD TRAUMA

Eleanor's POV

I watched it happen. I even tried to jump in and knock him out of the way before it happened. Unfortunately, I was too slow. Tracy's foot kicked the ball too fast for me to intercept it. I watched as the ball slammed into Alvin's head and took him for a ride all the way across the field and into the goal. OUCH!

"It's up to you, coach, to keep him from getting hurt." Simon's words from a couple days earlier replayed, almost mocking me. "We're counting on you."

He was going to be FURIOUS!

"He's fragile." Theo's voice joined Simon's, echoing in my mind. "He's very excited for the championship, but we're worried he's gonna push himself too hard."

I gulped. I pushed him too hard. I could only hope his injuries weren't too bad. Ha! What were the odds of that? I know I sometimes say Alvin needs some sense knocked into him, but I didn't mean it LITERALLY!

I pushed my way through the crowd of people gathered around the goal. I needed to find Alvin and use my medical training to get him back in tip-top shape before Theo and Simon found out I had pushed their crazy brother into the game when he didn't want to play.

"Excuse me!" I yelled. "Excuse me!" It was no use. None of the humans noticed me.

I heard a lot of babbling, but the only words I could make out were "concussion" and "hospital." Oh great. (Sarcasm) It's worse than I thought! I needed to tell Alvin's family.

I felt a tug on my arm and turned around to see Brittany wearing her cheer uniform. Her mascara was running and her lips were trembling. "Is….Is he okay?"

"Probably." I didn't know for sure, but I knew I had to keep Britt's spirits up. "Theo got a concussion and he was fine once they got him to the hospital."

"CONCUSSION!?" Brittany shouted with a gasp.

I pointed to an ambulance that had just pulled up to take Alvin away. "There's our ride. Let's go."

My sister in pink ran with me to the ambulance and we both got inside. Alvin was laying on a gurney. He had his head propped up pretty high with a pillow, so it was more like he was sitting on the gurney. He was completely unconscious. There was a large bump on his forehead, but no blood.

"This can't be happening!" My sister squeaked. "He was doing so well!"

I squeezed her shoulder tightly to calm her down. "He'll be fine. He HAS to be fine. Besides, there's no blood. I'm sure the ball didn't hit him that hard. And, well, Alvin's got a hard head."

Brittany sobbed into her pink hooded jacket that was previously tied around her shoulders.

At that moment, my phone started to ring.

"What's that noise?" One of the guys who loaded Alvin into the ambulance spotted us.

Brittany was still crying, so I shouted up at him. "It's us! Hi! We want to ride with him!"

"Are you family?" The EMT person asked.

"B…Basically, yes." Brittany managed to get out between choked sobs.

I nodded. "His friend, his family, his coach." The reason he's in this mess in the first place. I thought the last part bitterly to myself.

My phone was still ringing, so I answered it. It was the LAST person I wanted to talk to.

"Eleanor, do you know where Alvin is?" Simon's uniquely deep, yet still high-pitched voice asked me.

Crap! Crap! Crap! What do I tell him? The question was, did he know about the accident or not? "Uhhhh….playing in the championship."

"HE'S WHAT!?" Simon was panicking on the line. "YOU LET HIM PLAY IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP!?"

I didn't know why Simon was so angry and panicked. Wasn't Alvin SUPPOSED to play in the championship? "Wasn't that the plan?"

"WHERE IS HE NOW!?" The middle Seville brother continued to get even more irate.

I froze, fumbling for the words. "In an…Ambulance." I said finally.

"WHAT!?" I was starting to think Simon may have had information about the situation that I didn't.

Even Brittany didn't know why Simon was acting this way. "What's Simon's problem? It's not Alvin's fault he got hurt." She whimpered.

"Look, he'll be fine." I told the brainiest Seville brother. "Just get Dave and Theo and Jeanette and meet us at the hospital."

"ELEANOR, I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!" He fumed. "I TRUSTED YOU TO DO THE RIGHT THING, AND YOU LET HIM GET HURT!"

"I'm s…sorry!" I stammered. "Anyway, we'll be at the nearest hospital to San Marcos High." Our championship game was an away meet. Hence scheduling the bus. "I'll keep you posted."

"ELEANORRR!" He growled.

I hung up the call. I felt so guilty. Alvin wasn't up to this and I made him play anyway. I let Simon and Theo down. I let the whole Seville family down. I looked at the unconscious chipmunk lying on the gurney. His cap was off and Brittany was holding it, stroking the brim to keep herself from sobbing again. I whispered in Alvin's ear, not that he would or could hear me. "Please be okay."

It didn't take long before the ambulance arrived at the hospital. Alvin was looked over and then set up in a nice private room. Brittany and I were allowed to hang out up there, as long as we promised not to touch anything. I started to talk to the doctor who was tasked with helping Alvin recover.

Her name was Dr. Goodwin. She seemed like she knew what she was doing, which is more than I can say for most people in my hometown. "He'll be alright." She told me. "When he wakes up, he'll probably be groggy and have trouble thinking clearly, but as far as concussions go, this one is very mild."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Dr. G." I turned and scampered over to Britt. "You hear that? She said it's mild."

Brittany was staring out the window, clutching Alvin's cap and her own pink hoodie. "Super." She whispered.

I had Alvin's glasses in my messenger bag. I'd grabbed them before hopping in the ambulance. I think that was all his belongings we needed to keep track of. Yep! All accounted for.

"Did you scan his brain?" I asked the doctor.

She nodded. "Usually we don't, but since he's so small and so fragile, I figured it's best to take a look." Honestly, it was probably also because he's famous.

I sat down in a chair in the room. "So he's perfectly fine?"

She frowned. "I wouldn't say "perfectly." He's suffered some head trauma and he's still going to need time to heal. There's minor damage in a couple areas, but I predict his brain will heal itself and repair most of the damage."

Brittany interjected into our talk. "What if his brain was already damaged before he was hit by the soccer ball?"

The doctor laughed. "I doubt that's the case."

"It is the case. Trust me." Brittany crossed her arms.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not damage, Britt. He has ADHD."

"Oh yes, that explains the unusually large amount of activity across both hemispheres." Dr. Goodwin made sure Alvin was propped up in the bed, because, as I remember from my medical research, you aren't supposed to lay down when you have a concussion. "I thought that was common in chipmunks."

"Whatever he has, is NOT common." Brittany stared at her unconscious friend.

The doctor continued to tell us about Alvin's brain. "You know, I've never seen someone with so much activity while unconscious. It's almost to a concerning level, but he is fine in every other way."

"He must be having one heck of a dream….or nightmare." I remarked.

That's when Dave, Theo, Simon, and Jeanette arrived. Dave knocked on the door to the room and Dr. Goodwin let him inside. "You must be Alvin's father. Come in, come in."

"Is he okay?" Dave gingerly stepped closer to the bed. "Oh, Alvin." He moaned. "Why do you do these things?"

"It's very likely he'll be alright. Of course, we won't know for sure until he wakes up." The doctor stepped outside in the hall to talk to Dave for a bit. I wish I'd been included in the discussion, but I am just a kid to her. She doesn't realize I've studied to be a doctor even though I never officially got a doctorate.

"I can't believe this." Simon rubbed his temples.

Theodore tilted his head. "You can't? I totally believe it."

I tried to avoid the nasty glares Simon and Theodore were giving me. I felt awful. I wanted to crawl in an empty grave and bury myself. Then, pop up when I'm feeling better and pretend to be a zombie and scare them. Let's face it. That's my sense of humor.

"That poor boy has been through so much." Jeanette whispered, taking a seat by the window next to Brittany.

Brittany looked down at Alvin's cap in her hands. "I just want him to wake up."

"Why did you let him play, Eleanor?" Theodore whimpered, looking at me as if I'd betrayed him.

I sighed. "Because I thought I was supposed to. You said I could let him play if I went easy on him." I frowned. "I guess I didn't really go easy on him."

"That was BEFORE he got his eyes dilated!" Simon grumbled loudly.

Wait….hold up. What? "He got his eyes dilated? When?"

"The day before the game." The taller boy in blue explained. "Theodore said he told you."

"Uh oh…" Theo groaned. "Okay, so, this is probably really dumb, but I didn't tell her or Brittany. Alvin wanted to tell them himself."

OF COURSE! That explains why Simon was so mad at me on the phone. He thought I KNEW! "He didn't tell me ANYTHING." I said. Bye bye guilt!

"Me either." Brittany smiled. "But this is great!"

Simon's eyebrows shot up, he ran to the window to scold the Chipette in pink. "My brother has suffered a serious head injury. Please explain how on EARTH this could be GREAT!?"

Brittany stood up on the chair. "Because it PROVES he's still Alvin! He made the dumbest decision possible! Alvin's not gone! He IS in there! We just have to keep tugging and we'll bring him out!"

"No tugging." Theo commented. "He needs to rest."

"She's got a point." I said. "This is the most Alvin thing he's done in weeks."

Jeanette sighed. "So much for him being less impulsive."

Dave and Dr. Goodwin re-entered the room. They both went to Alvin's bedside and checked on him.

"At least he's getting sleep." Dave commented. "He's been overworking himself so much lately."

Slowly, Alvin's eyes started to open. "Did we win the game?" He mumbled.

"Yes we did." I said with a half smirk. "You were the winning goal."

"I scored the winning goal?" Alvin's pupils were still sorta big, which concerned me, but then I remembered his eyes were dilated.

I shook my head. "No, you WERE the winning goal."

"I don't understand." He blinked those large blue eyes with the weirdly big pupils. "Where….Where am I?"

"The hospital." Dave told him.

We were all gathered around him now.

"Hospital? I'm in the hospital. I thought this was a 5 star health spa!" He chuckled. "Wait, if I'm in a hospital... am, am I hurt?"

Simon frowned and put his hand on top of his brother's hand. "You have a concussion."

"Is that bad?" He reached up to rub his eyes and then blinked some more. I bet he didn't know why his vision was screwed up. I wonder how much he could remember.

I decided to mess with him. It was wrong, but I was mad he hadn't told me about not being allowed to play the championship game. "You've been unconscious for 50 years."

Simon didn't find my teasing funny. "Eleanor!"

"For 5 years." I amended my joke.

Simon gave me another stern warning. "Eleanor!"

I chuckled. "5 hours…."

The glare wouldn't stop. Now Dave and the others were glaring too.

"2 hours." I told him the truth at last. "Only 2 hours."

"Oh…" He closed his eyes. "Why can't I see clearly?"

"Because your eyes are still dilated." Simon told him.

"Yeah." Theo stepped in with another reminder. "It'll go away eventually. Really soon."

Brittany smiled at him warmly and rubbed his cheek. "You played an amazing game….until you got hit by that soccer ball."

Alvin pieced the information together and his face flashed with recognition. "I was the goal. I WAS the goal. Oh no! What've I done?"

"Alvin, for a "super genius" you make the most brainless decisions!" I berated him.

He started to whine. Alvin was back! "I didn't want to miss the soccer championship! I can't lose sports too!"

Dave looked at him sympathetically. "Well, you have now."

"What!?" He gasped. He has a very iconic sounding gasp.

"The doctor said you can't play any sports for a month or two." His dad told him.

He looked like he might cry. "What!?"

"You need time to heal." Dr. Goodwin said softly. "That head of yours took a beating."

"You already have a D in gym. It's no loss, right geekazoid?" I teased him.

"Noooooo!" He shouted.

I continued to joke around. "I'm playing you a song on the world's smallest violin." I said, rubbing my fingers together.

Theodore looked at me funny. "You shrunk a violin?"

"No." I replied.

"Was it Simon who shrunk it?" He asked, not realizing it was just a funny expression.

I groaned. "This family drives me nuts."

"Knock it off, Eleanor. This is not the time for your jokes." Simon said in a grouchy way.

Yeah, he was right. Alvin needed us to help him recover. Confusing him more and more would have to wait until his addled brain was back to its usual self. At least I knew it wasn't my fault. I had nothing to be guilty over. I was still the best coach ever.

ELEANOR: Okay, that's it. Gotta go! Peace out!

ALVIN: I can take it from here. I'm sure everyone is dying to know what it feels like in my head right now.

ELEANOR: Maybe the readers are. I could care less. You recovered. It's done. It's over with. I've moved on.

ALVIN: I love how much nothing seems to phase you. Can you teach me your ways?

ELEANOR: Maybe someday. For now, you gotta write!

ALVIN: See ya round, Ells!

Alvin's POV

While I was knocked out, I was having another one of my crazy weird dreams. I was floating in space, without a spacesuit. All the planets around me looked like different sports balls. Volleyball, basketball, baseball, tennis ball, you name it. There was a meteor headed straight for me that looked like a soccer ball. I swam across the inky black abyss and then the meteor passed on by.

I could hear voices, they were all too muffled to make out. I wanted to join them, but a giant squid appeared and started to strangle me with his tentacles. I screamed and it wrapped a tentacle around my mouth. Then, there was a big and bright flash of white light and I slowly opened my eyes.

I didn't have many thoughts on my mind. I COULDN'T. It was like rooting through a thick fog to try and figure out what was going on and how to respond. My vision was absolute trash. Everything was warped and blurry. I couldn't hold a thought for more than three seconds, tops.

Eventually, a bit of the fog cleared, but everything still felt funny. My friends and family caught me up on what was going on. Eleanor tried to scare me, and succeeded. Then, the doctor said I have to give up sports. It figures, all that work trying to stay a sporty guy for nothin'.

"I….I can't not play sports." I sobbed. "I have to."

"You have plenty of other things to occupy your time." Simon's comforting voice said. I could see the familiar blue and brown blur by my hospital bed. Gosh, I hated hospitals.

"You could learn more about science." A purple blur next to Simon suggested. I assumed it was Jeanette. She sounded like a soft and sweet soul like Jeanette even if she wasn't Jeanette.

Oh yeah! Physics! I still had that. Or did I? I tried to recall anything I'd learned about physics over the past months. It was like digging through goop. Thick and slimy goop. The facts were there, I could feel it, but I couldn't reach them.

"I wouldn't push him to think too hard for a while. He's still recovering." The nice lady doctor in the room said. She was sorta hot, in a professional way. I love a lady in uniform.

The truth dawned on me. I was cut off from the knowledge I worked so hard to acum…u…late? Learn. Screw it. I'm not even gonna try and be wordy. I can't right now. "Oh no! Simon, Simon, my head feels weird. It's like I'm all loopy and gooey up there." I squeezed my brother's hand. "I'm back to classic. I don't know physics anymore. I don't know ANYTHING anymore."

Si squeezed my hand in return, to let me know he was there. "Stay calm. It's probably just temporary."

"Yeah." Eleanor added. "You did say something like "brain off" before running onto the field."

"I did…I don't recall….it's all fuzzy." I answered truthfully. My head felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls. Great. (Sarcasm) I made myself even DUMBER!

"That's what a really bad concussion does to you. Remember when I got one playing Mega Bounce Battle?" Theodore asked.

I sort of remembered that. Sort of. Theo acted so out of character. At least I had more of my brain intact than he did back then.

The nice doctor lady brought me a cup of water. "Your concussion isn't one of the worst I've seen. Like I said, it is very mild. I predict everything will return to you as long as you rest."

"Like I said." Simon repeated. "Temporary."

I was not feeling any better. The water was nice, but my head still hurt. I had a headache and it felt way too hard to think. I couldn't even form a plan. I was downgraded to below-classic Alvin level. "What if it's not? What if this is it? What if I never get the chance to enjoy learning again!?"

"We'll all rejoice." That was Britt's voice. I would have smacked her, if I could locate her. It's a good thing I couldn't.

Jeanette sounded absolutely positively….mad. "Speak for yourself, Britt."

I groaned. "Yep. I'm completely back to classic up here….and now I've lost science AND sports." This could NOT get worse.

"I'm sorry, Alvin. That's a real bummer." Theodore squeezed the hand opposite the one Simon was touchin'.

Britt was as sassy as ever. "But it's your own fault for your STUPID decision."

"The eye doctor said you couldn't play in the championship! And what did you do? You played in the championship blind and got hurt." Dave reminded me. Thanks for once again saying what an IDIOT I am.

I gave the drink back to the doctor lady and crossed my arms. "Don't rub it in. If I could think about it hard I would." I sighed. "I can't."

Jeanette put a soft hand on my forehead. "Just rest your head. You'll be okay."

"And he'll need to be limited to 1 hour a day of reading or TV." The doctor lady was no longer a friend of mine. And I no longer thought she was hot.

"Ya might as well pull the plug on me now, doc!" I said. This kept getting worse. Was my life going to get worse and worse now? Was this only the start of a downhill slide?

My dad scolded me. "Don't be dramatic."

NO! DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! "But I'm injured!" I cried. "And I'm gonna be so BORED!"

"Ah. It is good to have him back." Brittany commented again, even though no one asked her to. I really wanted to smack her. I was so over all of this!

I spent the night in the hospital and half of the next day. Eventually, my eyes were back to normal. I still couldn't see much, but it was at least slightly less blurred out. I don't remember what else went on in the hospital. I mostly just sat in my room, thinking about how I couldn't remember my new favorite subject and cursing the universe for being so MEAN TO ME!

Once I got home, Eleanor returned my glasses and then my vision was decent again. Not perfect, because I still needed a stronger prescription, but somewhat decent.

"Where's my cap?" I asked, now back in my own bed. My room felt comforting. Like I said before, I hate hospitals. They're too,…well,…clean. I know that's the point since they gotta be sterilized. I just hate when things look too clean and smell too clean.

Eleanor fluffed my pillow. "Brittany's got it."

I felt my fur bristle. My hands clutched my blanket furiously. "Tell her to give it back."

"It won't fit with that giant bump on your head." The feisty pigtailed girl sassed.

"I don't care! It's a snapback. I can adjust it." I fumed. "Where is Brittany!? I WANT MY CAP NOW!"

The pink clad thief ziplined in and tossed my cap at me. Eleanor caught it and hung it on the bedpost. "Fine. Take it." Britt scoffed. "By the way, I can hear your complaining from the treehouse. Cut it out."

Theodore hurried into the room with a book in his hands. "It's story time!" He squeaked. "Are you ready for a story, Alvin?"

"I can't read." I muttered, remembering the doctor said that in order to recover, I couldn't tax my brain with uhhh. "Activities strenuous on the eyes." I didn't know what strenuous meant. Which was scary, because I was pretty sure I did a few days ago.

Theodore crawled onto the end of my bed. "Yeah, but the doctor didn't say you couldn't listen to me read."

"Oh….good idea." Boy, I missed being able to have ideas. "It's not a baby book, is it?"

At this moment, Simon and Jeanette entered the room. It was sweet how everyone was rallying around me. And missing school was also sweet.

Theodore shrugged. "Kinda a baby book, kinda not. It's Captain Underpants book 9. Simon said you like them."

"Oh good. Yeah, Simon's right. I love 'em." I settled into my cozy bed. I grabbed my cap off the bedpost and hugged it as if it were a plushie. I couldn't wait to wear it on my head again, but my head hurt too much to put anything on it right now.

"And after that, I can read you some of my Sherlock Holmes story!" Netta's beautiful face lit up with excitement. Boy, it was good to see again. I missed looking at her.

"Yeah." I smiled. Okay, so I might have completely lost all my physics know-how, but a guy could get used to this. I did love all the attention.

Over the next few hours, Theo, Simon, and Eleanor took turns reading the Captain Underpants book until it was finished. I got to imagine the scenes in my head. At least my imagination was workin' properly. When they were finished, Jeanette sat with me and read a chapter of Sherlock Holmes. (Although Britt protested me being left alone with her sister.)

I was bored again. I wanted to do something other than read. "Hey, uh, Netta?" I asked.

"Yes?" Her midnight eyes glistened as she looked at me.

"I think I'm a bit tired of books for now. Can we do something else?" I yawned.

"We can talk." She suggested. "How does your head feel?"

"Foggy, fuzzy, not quite right." I sighed. "I'm still worried I lost my smarts forever."

She climbed onto the bed and sat cross legged, looking at me like I was the only thing in her world that mattered. "I'm sure they're not gone forever."

"It all just seems so hopeless." I started to cry. I didn't want to cry, but my emotions were on the fritz, as usual. "I try and try and then I get sent back to start, only to try all over again. It's an endless cycle of learn, forget, learn, forget. I'm SICK of it."

"Nothing is hopeless." She wiped my tears with a tissue. "And I think I know how to make you feel better."

"You do?" I felt very safe with her here. She was becoming a better friend than ever before, and she was also pretty darn good before anyway.

Jeanette closed her eyes and began to sing. I recognized the song immediately. It was one of our original songs. I was usually the one who sang it. In fact, it's probably one of my favorites. That's not saying much though. I have a LOT of favorites.

"Sometimes I wonder what's gone wrong

Most folks have lost their spark

Life without a ray of hope

Sure can get mighty dark"

She had this dazzling energy around her. I couldn't see it, but I could feel it. She made me feel warm and well cared for.

"And as I started thinking

Why life had turned so blue

I saw a book of fairy tales

And suddenly I knew"

She was a big fan of fairy tales. I could remember that well. Why could I remember so much, but not science? I wanted to remember science.

Regardless, I decided to join in with her for the chorus.

"You gotta believe in pumpkins

If you want to go to the ball

Don't stop yourself from havin' a little

And you can have it all"

I wriggled myself out from under the covers and we both stood up. You have much better control of your voice while standing compared to sitting. We faced each other as we continued to sing.

"Faith is just like planting seeds

They help your dreams come true

Believe in what's around you

And good things will come to you"

I entwined my fingers with hers. "Now and then you're gonna feel, Stuck in the caboose." I sang.

She tossed her head back and imitated the way I pretty much speak the next line in the song. "But throw those feelings out the door, and remember Mother Goose."

"Because life is what you make it" I added.

Jeanette raised her free hand toward the ceiling. "You can fly or you can fail"

"Yes, create a world of dreams come true" I grinned, as we danced a little, but not a ton, on the bed.

"And life will fill your sail!" Jeanette finished.

"Listen to us!" I shouted.

"You gotta believe in pumpkins

If you want to go to the ball

Don't stop yourself from havin' a little

And you can have it all"

Back at the chorus, both our voices mixed together in perfect harmony. It almost made me forget about how bleak my situation was earlier. I needed to have hope!

"Faith is just like planting seeds

They help your dreams come true

Believe in what's around you

And good things will come"

"Yes it will!" I squeaked adamantly.

"Believe in what's around you

And good things will come"

"Yes it will!" I repeated. I was DONE feeling sorry for myself. Gee, I wonder how long that will last.

"Believe in what's around you

And good things will come to you"

We finished the song and then Jeanette tucked me in and kissed the bump on my forehead gently. I knew I wasn't supposed to do a ton of physical activity,but the bit of dancing felt really good. I enjoyed it a whole lot.

"Everything will get better." She pressed a finger against my nose. "You'll see. Just give it time."

She was right. I just needed time to heal, to rest, to let the physics facts come back to me. Plus, it's not like I would be limited in what I was doing forever. In fact, two days from now, I'd be able to return to school. Maybe two days from now I would have my genius back as well. Anything is possible.

The next day, I sang a lot. I sang with my brothers before school. I sang with the Chipettes after school. I even played some cool bluesy songs on my harmonica. It was nice getting back in touch with music. Music was basically my roots, after all. I wouldn't be ME without an undeniable love for music and an amazing voice. Even Dave came in to join me and my bros in a song. Some song called You Two from Oliver Twist. Again, weird that I can remember that and not science. I hated that Oliver Twist book we read for school, although I found the Dodger guy interesting.

During my recovery time, I also got to listen to more TV shows and listen to my friends and family read me more books. Simon even broke down and agreed to read Animorphs number 1: The Invasion. Jeanette tried, but the descriptions of violence in the book made her almost throw up. She's such a sensitive soul. I like that about her.

Before I knew it, Sunday night was here! I was playing an instrumental version of Let Me Make You Proud by Jeremy Jordan on my harmonica when Simon and Britt walked into the room.

"Urgh. Do you have to play that stupid harmonica?" The diva girl scoffed. She scoffs a lot.

I stopped playing and sneered at her. "I thought ya wanted me to be classic Alvin. Classic Alvin plays the harmonica." I blew it loudly in her ear. Off key too, on purpose.

"Ow!" She covered her ears.

I went on sassing her. "I'll have you know, people pay good money to listen to me play my harmonica."

She rolled her eyes. "They pay to hear you SING." She stressed. "They TOLERATE the harmonica."

"Brittany, can you stop picking on Alvin?" Simon asked, exasperated with her. Haha! I knew that word. My vocabulary was slowly returning to its enhanced state!

I didn't want her around. She had made me upset by rejoicing while I was in pain. "Only if she leaves." I smirked, at least I think I smirked. It might have been the dorky half smile.

"Fiiiine." She groaned and then waltzed up to me. "See you at school tomorrow, Alvin. It's so good to have you back. You worried me sick, you know that?"

"I know." I said softly. "I went too far into nerd mode. I'm trying to find the balance. In order to get there, I gotta go to both ends of the, the….uhhhh…."

"Spectrum?" Simon finished for me.

"Yeah." I nodded. "That thing." Had he read my mind? Nah, I probably was just obvious.

Brittany left the room and then it was just me and Si. At least, until Theodore entered.

"Alvin, you're famous!" Theodore exclaimed.

I tilted my head. "I'm already famous, Theo. What are ya talkin' about?"

"You're in the school newspaper!" He handed me the article.

I looked at Simon. "Am I allowed to read yet?"

"You're allowed to read now, yes. That was just for two days, Alvin. Just stop if your head starts to hurt and rest again." My annoyingly tall brother said.

I adjusted my red glasses and scanned the article. "Having A Ball? Not quite. Santa Barbara High student, Alvin Seville, suffered a nasty concussion after becoming one with the soccer ball to score the winning goal in the championship. Alvin's condition is stable, but it looks like his soccer days have come to an end." I couldn't read any more. I crumpled the article. "This sucks!"

"Cheer up, Alvin." Theodore patted my arm. "You won't have to give up soccer forever. They just exaggerate for effect. Anyway, the whole school is talking about you. They miss you a lot."

"I bet they do." I crossed my arms. "They miss having a target to pick on."

"No, actually." Simon told me. "They're all worried about you. Wondering if you're going to bounce back. Which, I know you will."

"Would you like some crackers?" Theodore held out a tray of crackers.

I looked at the crackers and something really weird started happening. Lines, numbers, loop de loops, and random symbols appeared. They were all uhhh superimposed over the crackers. "What the?" I shook my head to try and stop the hallucinations. I looked around the room. Oh fudge! They were all over the room too! What was HAPPENING to my vision. Why were there glowing cyan numbers!? What did they MEAN!?

"What's wrong?" Simon asked, noticing my distress.

I let out a shaky breath. "Do you guys see a bunch of weird mathy stuff in the air?"

"Huh?" Theodore replied.

Simon looked concerned. "No, no, I don't. Why? Do you?"

"Yep." I gulped. "They're floating and glowing and I don't know what they mean!" I started to panic. "There's something wrong with me! Make it stoooop!"

"We aren't doing anything!" Theo squeaked.

"Alvin, I think you may be…" Simon tapped his chin, which brought up a bunch more random numbers. Equations? They were equations? I dunno. "Hallucinating."

I closed my eyes, willing the visions to stop. "I'm hallucinating about math!"

"Maybe it'll help you with your homework." Simon chuckled.

I was mad. This wasn't something to make light of. "Shut up about homework! My vision is all screwey! No! No nooooo!" I gripped my head with my hands.

"Hold on." My bro in the blue shirt handed me one of his notebooks. "I have an idea."

"Good." I said sarcastically, watching the numbers and lines all move around. I was getting dizzy. My brain was broken. I did this to myself. I did this with my stupid decision. I was the only one to blame. "Cuz I still can't think up any ideas."

"I still can't find the numbers you're seeing." Theodore remarked. "I bet I couldn't tell you what they mean, even if I could find them."

Simon handed me a royal blue pen. "Draw what you're seeing." He instructed.

I focused as hard as I could on writing down the stuff that was clouding my sight. When I finished struggling to collect all the randomly changing mathy stuff and shapes, I handed Simon the notebook.

"No way." My brother in blue gasped. He held the notebook out to me. "You really don't know what any of this means?"

I shook my head. "It looks like a random alien language."

"Yep. That's what I'm getting too." My chubby bro commented. Wow, Theo and I were back in the same boat when it came to learning stuff.

"Alvin, these are equations." Simon smiled. "Physics equations. You're literally SEEING physics."

Wait, really? That was….hopeful. Except for the fact that I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND THEM! "Huh? Well they don't make any sense to me." I blinked and slowly the numbers started to blink out of existence. My vision was back to normal. "And now they're gone."

"It doesn't matter." Simon was ecstatic. "Do you know what this means?"

"No." Theo and I chorused together.

"The physics you learned is still IN there." My brainy bro went on. "It's manifesting in the form of a hallucination, but it's THERE. It's not gone. It WILL come back."

"Maybe I can still somehow complete my assignment for Dr. Wilson!" I was thrilled! I didn't lose my smarts forever! They'd slowly return to me! "Got any ideas? I am fresh out." I asked with a chuckle.

"I'll have to think of something." Simon hugged the notebook. "Wow. You can actually see physics. You're so lucky. This has never been documented before."

"Maybe it's cuz he was studying it so hard when his head got all messed up." Theo's THEOry actually had some weight behind it.

"Maybe, maybe. I'll tell Jeanette and we'll do some research." He ran to his bookcase to grab his laptop from the shelf below the books.

I sighed. "Wish I could research with ya. But I'm tired and hungry." I munched some of Theo's crackers. "Thanks for these, Theo." They were a whole lot more tasty without weird numbers floating all over them.

"You're welcome." He beamed. "I'm glad you've still got your science stuff."

"You and me both." I was still weirded out by the visions, but maybe that was just a one time thing. Yeah. And if it wasn't, I guess I could learn to handle it. It's not the superpower I wanted, but it's definitely a superpower.

I was feeling a lot more optimistic than I had in months. School tomorrow would be a pain. Losing sports for a while still stunk. But I would be okay. I always was okay. And someday, hopefully soon, my head would fully clear up and I would be perfectly fine again. Well, as perfectly fine as someone having an identity crisis can be. That's right. I now realized they were RIGHT. I was having a major identity crisis. Huh? I guess that soccer ball DID knock some sense into me.

Chapter Text

SEEING IS BELIEVING

Alvin's POV

I was back at school at last, and I realized just how messed up my sense of time was. So, you know how I told you that my siblings and next door neighbors were at school a couple days earlier? Turns out, they weren't. It was SATURDAY! Unless they were actually at school to like….set up for a dance or something. Although Britt was the only one on the dance committee.

Also, yesterday night was MONDAY night, not Sunday. That explains why Theo ran into my room saying everyone at school missed me. Boy, I sure was out of the loop…not that that's anything new. I was back on track now, at least. Who knows how long I would be.

School was very weird. I had a lot of gaps in my memory that just wouldn't fill. People kept reminding me how amazing I was in the soccer game, but I barely knew what happened at the game, aside from the life changing head injury. That may have been because I was legally blind for the game too. Gotta factor that in.

Simon leaned over to talk to me in class. "How're you doing? See any more weird visions?"

I nodded. "There was a couple this morning at breakfast and then one when I was getting out of Dave's car when he dropped us off."

He made a note on his notepad. "Visions recurring at random intervals with seemingly no pattern."

I rubbed the sleeves of my cyan hoodie and hugged myself. I had it on again, unzipped as usual to reveal my big yellow A and red shirt. "I wish I could understand them. It would be so cool if I could understand them."

"Understand what?" Eleanor popped into our conversation, unwanted.

I cringed. Did I want to tell her I gained mathy-science superpowers?

"Alvin keeps hallucinating physics equations in midair." Simon explained.

Eleanor's green eyes went wide. "Dude, what? Why?"

"W…We th…think it has to do with the concussion." I stammered.

The pigtailed girl gasped. "That can happen?"

Simon looked at the notes he'd taken on me. "Apparently."

"Don't tell Brittany." I begged. "If she finds out I'm going all nerdy again, she's gonna be crushed!"

"I won't tell her." Eleanor patted my head. The bump had gone down enough to wear my cap again, but it was still there and still tender.

I grimaced. "Ow!"

"But if you go all dictionary talk mode again, she's gonna find out anyway." The youngest Chipette reminded me.

"Pretty sure that's just the way he talks sometimes by default now." Simon nudged me.

I nodded. That was me. Weirdly eloquent, but also annoying. "In the interest of total candor and transparency, sometimes I can't help, you know, being loquacious." Which is a really fancy way of saying, honestly, I am wordy as heck.

"That from the concussion too? Or the glasses?" Eleanor tilted her head.

"Neither." I answered, tapping my fingers on my desk. "I talked this way in my head for years, and also sometimes out loud, but mostly in my head."

Her green eyes studied me. "Whoah." Why did everyone wanna study me? I wasn't that different. Although, maybe to them I was.

Miss. Smith entered the classroom. "Good to see you, Alvin. How are you feeling?"

I didn't know how to answer that. I was feeling so much at once. Shame for my bad decision, intrigue toward my newfound skill, sorrow at my temporary? loss of a lot of my knowledge, happiness at finally being healed enough to see all my friends here…"I'm alright."

"Super." She dropped a giant stack of papers on my desk. "Here's all the homework you missed from Wednesday, Friday, and Monday." Wait? Wednesday? Ohhhh yeah. The day of the eye doctor appointment. Thursday was game day.

I groaned. At least Miss. Smith asked me if I was okay before doing this. Maybe she does care about my well-being. I got started immediately on the homework I knew I could do. I set the science and math aside. Maybe once I healed fully, I would be able to complete it. If not, Simon could probably do it for me.

At this point in my healing process, my brain wasn't as fuzzy. All that was still missing was science and math and chunks of Thursday leading up to the soccer game. Everything else was back. I could learn again. I could think up ideas again! I felt unstoppable!

The urge to learn is why I didn't go to lunch with the others. I met up in the library with Simon and Jeanette. I still hated how quiet that place was. But, I knew Si and Netta needed the quiet if they were gonna help me figure out the secrets behind my new physics powers.

We told Jeanette what had been happening to me. I had another crazy vision and drew what I saw around the room in Simon's notebook. After that, Simon actually explained what I was seeing.

"Measurements, angles, trajectory, velocity." He said. "It's fascinating stuff."

"And I see it all in my head." I blinked a few times and the vision faded again. "Apparently I'm like…calculating the speed everyone and everything is moving too. This would be a real cool power, if I had my physics affinity back. Alas, I am not so lucky."

"Oh man." Jeanette opened her psychology book. "I hope you remember physics soon."

"Me too." I sighed, sitting at the library table. "If only Eleanor hadn't made me turn my brain off."

Simon typed into his laptop. "Can people actually see physics?" He was bombarded with random results. Although there was one that was interesting.

Jeanette beat him to it though, finding the same result in the psychology book.

"Jason Padgett." She said aloud with Simon echoing the same words only mere seconds later.

I didn't know how this guy was related to me or my ability. "Who is he?" I fidgeted with a pencil on the desk.

"He's a man who has the ability to see fractals…in everything." Jeanette gushed.

I blinked. "What's a fractal? It sounds familiar, but…." I tried to think as hard as I could, but nothing came to me.

"Repeating geometric patterns. Think something like a snowflake, but on a much larger scale." Simon explained.

I frowned. "I don't see fractals though. I see numbers, lines, squiggly bits, weird symbols, and all that jazz."

"Right." Jeanette smiled. "Jason's ability is unique to him, just like yours is unique to you."

My brother typed something else into his laptop. "It's how Jason got the ability that connects him to you."

I laughed. "Wait, wait, wait, are you sayin' he got hit on the head real hard and then suddenly saw geometry everywhere? Stuff that other people can't see?"

Both their faces were serious. They looked at me like I was suddenly the most interesting man on the planet.

CLICK! ZAPITY ZAP ZAP! "That is what you're saying. Isn't it?" I realized.

"Affirmative." Simon showed me the images on the laptop screen.

"Huh? So that's a fractal?" I scratched my head. "Beautiful design. But definitely not what I see."

"Jason Padgett cared little about anything beyond partying and chasing girls. Then, one fateful night changed him forever." The Chipette in the purple and blue ombré sweater read from her psychology textbook.

I felt my face getting hot. I was blushing. Dang it!

Simon chuckled. "Boy, he sounds familiar, doesn't he, Alvin?"

"Just keep reading." I groaned.

"He used to think math was stupid. He would say, "how can you use that in the real world?" My friend with the beautiful smile continued. It was fun seeing her get excited about all this stuff. Even though it was making me want to become a ghost and float away from the embarrassment.

"Wow. Sounds just like classic me!" I squeaked, trying to quell the embarrassment. I know Jeanette liked me being an open book, but I was very tempted to close the book on this convo. If only I wasn't so curious about how this all worked.

"He was attacked on the street walking home from a bar and wound up with a concussion. It altered his personality somewhat and gave him panic attacks, OCD and extreme paranoia." Jeanette read.

Simon looked at me. "Well, Alvin's had all that as long as I remember. Long before the concussions too."

I blinked. "Concussions? As in more than one? You mean the soccer game wasn't my first?"

Simon looked at Jeanette's psychology book as he talked to me. He never met my eyes, but I could tell he was irritated. "You're up to eight now. I've been counting."

"EIGHT?" Gosh, no wonder I was such a wreck. Aside from having ADHD mess with my memory, my brain had damaged itself and healed itself seven times and was working on time number eight."

"Yes. However, this is the first time it's seemed to affect you. Usually, you just bounce back to normal. I think Theo might be right about studying physics having triggered this new skill of yours." My brother reassured me.

I felt numb. Had I really hit my head hard enough to damage it, eight times? Minor damage, sure, but still damage!

"When he awoke one morning, he discovered the way he saw the world had changed. Everything looked like a retro videogame. Water looked like tangent lines. Things were pixelated." Jeanette was still reading about the guy who sounded oddly similar to me. "He said it was surprising, scary, confusing, and beautiful, all at the same time."

"I can relate." I said bitterly. "Although I'd rather see a retro videogame than floating numbers."

"No you wouldn't." Simon told me. "Jason can't turn his ability off. It's always on. Yours is recurring, but not constant."

"Whoopee." I muttered. "Which means it'll probably just switch off and on at the worst possible times." Given my luck, that was likely.

"Anyway…" Jeanette cleared her throat. "Jason didn't have the ability to explain what his new vision meant. He began drawing it. One day, a physicist…"

"Like Sheldon and Leonard and Raj?" I interrupted.

"I don't know who those people are." Jeanette said, bluntly and sort of half-robotically.

Simon chuckled. "Yes, Alvin."

The Chipette continued to read. "Anyway, a physicist saw his drawings and urged him to take a math class. Through many classes, he developed the language to understand his new obsession with fractals." She closed the psychology book. "And that's the story. Jason has a rare condition called Acquired Savant Syndrome."

I chuckled.

"What's so funny?" She asked, flapping her hands. She does that sometimes. It's called stimming. It helps keep her grounded, but not in the way I'm usually grounded.

"The acronym spells a bad word." I chuckled. "A really bad word that means butt or donkey."

She groaned. "Alvin, focus!"

"I found something else interesting." Simon adjusted his round blue specs. They looked identical to Jeanette's adorable purple ones. Simon's glasses were far less adorable though. Odd how that works.

I leaned on the table, nibbling some crackers. "By all means, enlighten me!" I said in a way that was half genuine and half sarcastic.

"There is a theory that the brain subconsciously makes a bunch of mathematical calculations every day that we are simply not aware of. That's how we are able to have spatial awareness and reflexes. I'm thinking, in the case of Jason and Alvin, the subconscious ability was knocked INTO their conscious mind." Simon finished.

Wait! That made sense! "So everyone can "see physics" but they don't know it?"

"Essentially." His eyes were wide as saucers. "Incredible stuff."

It was great to finally know why I had this odd new power, but I was still feeling incomplete. "Think if I started reading about physics again, it would trigger the wave of understanding?"

"Considering waves are a physics concept…." Simon winked at me. "I'd say, give it a shot."

Feeling confident, I borrowed Simon's Quantum Mechanics book and started to read chapter one. I didn't understand it at all. I was hopelessly confused. I shut the book and tried to blink back tears. I knew after lunch I had Miss. Smith's science class. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to go to physics class at the end of the day either. What would Doctor Wilson think? His best and brightest student was now cursed to see physics without understanding it. I was a freakin' joke.

"I take it that didn't work?" Jeanette saw my teary eyed face.

I shook my head. "I can't think about it. I want to think about it, but I can't access it. My brain built a wall between me and physics and I can't tear it down." I sighed. "Now what do I do?"

Simon looked through the notebook again. "You could show all these to Dr. Wilson and explain what happened. Maybe he'll help you make a class project out of them." He held up my equations and angles and whatnot.

"It's better than nothing." The Chipette in purple encouraged me.

"Yeah." I took the notebook. "Thanks for helping me, you guys. And sorry for worrying you with how obsessed I got with nerd stuff. That is my real personality…I think. Part of it, at least. But, instead of only listening to part of my personality, I think I'm gonna start listening to the whole thing." I walked out of the library with them next to me.

"Oh thank goodness." My brother in blue looked relieved. "Because I was worried you were going to give up everything that makes you….you, just to get better grades."

"And I didn't want to change you that much either." Jeanette said. "It's okay that you're impulsive. It drives who you are. I was only trying to help you channel it into a more…mature version of impulsive…ness." She shook her head. "Lost my train of thought. Sorry. I'm still thinking about how extraordinary the brain can be. Especially your brain."

I blushed. "Both of yours are pretty extraordinary too. Same with Ellie's and even Theo's. Britt's, well, she's gotta learn how to use hers."

"Alvin." Simon groaned as we entered the classroom. "Brittany is smart too. She's just highly specialized. Her intelligence is connected to a few areas of study, rather than a broad variety."

"Yeah." Jeanette giggled. "And she's got all the street smarts. She and Ellie got those and I have….well…mostly book smarts."

"If Britt's got intelligence, why does Eleanor say she's got the IQ of a breadstick?" I asked, taking my seat.

Simon rolled his eyes. "Because that's Eleanor's sense of humor."

"Ohhhh." I understood it now. Britt wasn't as dumb as a post when it came to everything. Only when it came to stuff like science. Stuff she wasn't interested in. Stuff that I used to hate as well….until I fell in love with it.

Boy, Simon was right about IQ score not accounting for everything. Maybe I should stop bragging so much about mine. Although, I am an Alvin and bragging is kinda what Alvins do, so I feel like maybe I'll just tone it down, you know, a tiny bit.

I slept through Miss. Smith's science class. Honestly, I needed it. For writing class, I wrote, well, this tale about how I felt when I got my concussion. Pretty cool idea, huh? When it was time for art class, I was handed a Get Well Soon card from Vanessa.

"Missed you at the comic book club." She told me sweetly. I hadn't attended on Friday due to the concussion. "Are you okay?"

I nodded and flashed an encouraging smile. "Besides the glasses being permanent now, I'm pretty good. Most of my memories are back to their…usual scatteredness."

"I love the shoes. Are those new?" She pointed down at my rainbow sneakers. I'd worn them to school without thinking about it. I think I'll start wearing them all the time. I don't need to be Albert at school, but I like the shoes and jacket. And, as I mentioned before, Albert is me. I wish I had something better to call him than Albert though. Maybe someday.

"They are, yeah. Brand new." I took them off and showed them to her in more detail. "I designed them myself."

Vanessa picked up the shoes, which looked absolutely tiny in her hands. "Wow. You are quite an artist."

"Just an artist currently. The genius part is dormant." I tried to make light of the situation.

She took her seat next to me. "I heard. Jeanette told me. And Eleanor said that you have superpowers now."

"Kinda." I laughed. "More like super pain in the butt, but kinda cool powers."

Jeanette shuffled into the art room and took her seat next to me on the opposite side of Vanessa. "Any luck yet?"

I tapped my head lightly with my finger. "Nope. I had a couple more visions during writing class though."

I paged through Simon's notebook, which was full of my scribbly recollections of my new abilities. I still dreaded telling Dr. Wilson that I'd lost the understanding I'd worked so hard to keep hold on.

"It'll come. Just be patient." The Chipette winked. "Remember our training."

I nodded.

"So have you done your pastel landscapes yet?" Vanessa asked, taking out her cylinder shaped container of pastels.

Maybe someday I'll have enough money to buy my own art supplies instead of using the ones from school. "I made mine of a solar system." I said proudly, showing the design I had completed on Tuesday last week.

Jeanette rubbed her chin, then she fidgeted with the butterfly barrette in her hair. "Does a solar system count as a landscape?" She wondered.

I shrugged. "I dunno. I just drew the first thing I thought of, BUT, and this is the important part, I didn't add ANY ALIENS, no matter how much I wanted to."

Jeanette showed us her landscape. "I created a mountain with a river running beside it." Her midnight orbs (eyes) sparkled. "I love mountains."

"I drew a rainforest scene." The human girl with the awesome legwarmers showed us her pastel painting.

The Chipette in purple admired the art pieces. "I love the rainforest too. And outer space, of course."

"Really cool!" I commented. "Both of yours look splendiferous!"

Vanessa laughed. "That's not a word, but thanks."

I chuckled too. "Blame the concussion." I squeaked. Nah, the real reason I said that was because "splendid" sounded far too nerdy. I was tryin' to balance cool and nerdy. I wish I had a good S word to use as a catchphrase. I really like the S sound. S for Seville!

The art teacher walked by and picked up my shoes from the top of the shared art table. "These are very nice, but let's keep them on the floor, please." She brushed some dirt off the table.

I chuckled again. "Oops."

Art class went great. We presented our landscapes and I think I got a passing grade. My teacher said that my choice was very "outside the box." That's pretty much my thing. Loads of outside the box thinking.

Halfway through art class, my weird physics visions turned back on and invaded my sight. They were still on at the end of class. This was one of the longer, uh, what did Simon call it? Episodes? Yeah, episodes. But this was PERFECT! I called up Simon on my phone as soon as art class was over.

"Simon, do you wanna watch my presentation in Dr. Wilson's class?" I asked.

He sighed. "Yes, but, I have biology class."

Oh drat. So much for that idea, unless…"Can you stay for 5 minutes before biology class starts?"

"Did you get your knowledge back?" He questioned, sounding hopeful.

"No, not yet." I said, looking at all the glowing cyan numbers in my vision. "But, I have an idea for my presentation!"

Another sigh. "Alvin, I don't know…"

"Pleeeeeeease." I begged. "It would mean the world to me to have you there."

"Oh, alright. I'll be there." Simon hung up the phone.

I scrambled across the school from the art room, to Dr. Wilson's classroom. The cyan glowing physics equations would not leave me alone. Which was good, because my plan depended on them. Boy, it felt good to plan things again. I missed scheming. Not that this was technically "scheming." It was just close.

I skidded in the door and ran right into Dr. Wilson's leg. My glasses fell off from the impact, but I picked them up and put them back on. "Dr. Wilson, hey. Good to see ya!" I ran to his desk. "Can I stand up here?" I asked. "I need a good view of the whole classroom."

"Why of course. And thank you for asking, young scholar." This time, I didn't mind being called a scholar. I'm used to it now, I suppose.

He watched as I climbed up to the top of the desk and started to sketch into Simon's notebook. Here was my plan. It's a really good plan. Are you ready for this?

Okay, so, I quickly sketched a landscape drawing of the entire classroom. It was crude, because it was sketched so fast, but it got the job done. Then, I took out a cyan gel pen that Jeanette had leant to me and I recorded all the glowing physics craziness I saw in the room. I may not have known what any of it meant, yet somewhere, deep deep inside my healing brain…I DID know.

I finished the sketch and showed Dr. Wilson. "What do you think of this? Will this work as my "physics of everyday things" project?"

"I'd say so." His smile gleamed. "You completely understood the assignment."

I laughed inside my head. No, I didn't. Not at all. At least, not on the surface.

And because Jeanette had been on my case about being more open and honest, I didn't try to hide what happened to me. When Simon arrived, most of the class was there. Dr. Wilson let me present first, cuz, let's face it, I'm kinda his favorite. I told the entire story about my accident and my new ability and, well, everything. Then, Simon swooped in to explain all the physics stuff I'd drawn for me. I'm so glad I can count on him. Best bro ever!

"…as you can see, Alvin's calculations and measurements are scary accurate." My brother finished. "And we predict, eventually, once his brain has fully healed, he'll be able to understand what this new ability is telling him. But, until that time comes, I'm always happy to translate."

The whole class clapped. I cheered and tried to lift Simon into the air, which ended with us both on the floor. He helped me up and we both took a bow.

"Well, I'm off to biology class now. If I hurry, I'll only be about 3 minutes late." He smiled at me. "You owe me, bigtime."

"I owe ya my life, dude." I responded.

I watched a bunch of the other presentations as they explained their take on the project. As I was watching, something amazing happened. The physics visions cleared up, so I could focus on what they were saying. And by the tenth presentation, it all came rushing back! Finally! I know it was less than a week, but it felt like forever!

Matter, angles, force, momentum, the laws, the theories, the principles! They were all right at home again, in my mind, exactly where they belonged. The wall separating us had crumbled! We were reunited and it felt AWESOME! I felt AWESOME!

Once the presentations concluded, I stayed after class with Dr. Wilson, as I tended to do. He gave me the assignments I missed and I gave him the best news ever. "Simon was right! It came back! It all came back! I'm the ultimate physics kid again!" I grinned. "It's so good to have it back."

"I can imagine it would be. Although, I must say, you handled the presentation very well, even without it." Dr. Wilson replied. "You're good at dealing with adversity."

"Well, my family helped a lot." I admitted. "Without them, I probably wouldn't have followed the doctor's instructions." I scrunched my nose as I realized something else. "I think they saved my brain."

"You should thank them." He said, patting my cap gently.

I nodded. "Yeah. I should." And that's exactly what I set out to do.

At home, I called everyone into the living room for a family meeting. It wasn't an intervention this time. It was for a completely different reason.

"Thanks for, you know, helping me recover from the concussion." I told Dave, my brothers, and the Chipettes. "And thanks for being so worried about me too, you know, when I was going all full-nerd mode."

"Happy to help." Theodore squeaked.

Simon nodded. "Always."

Jeanette was laying sideways in one of the comfy chairs. "Singing with you was very fun."

"You should sing more often." Brittany added. "And do a duet or two with me!"

"I'm glad you're feeling better, Alvin." Dave breathed a sigh of relief. "I may not always know what's going on with you, but I will try my best to protect you."

"You were never a scapegoat, kiddo." Eleanor fist bumped me. "Sorry if you felt like one."

"I will try not to always suspect you when things go wrong." My dad blew my mind by saying that. "But you have to prove that you can be responsible. Okay?"

I wagged my tail as I stood on the coffee table. "You have my word! Mr. Responsible has entered the building!"

Brittany pouted. She wasn't happy with my decision. "I thought you were going to quit the whole nerd thing."

"Au contraire." I responded. "I'm still half nerd. In fact, I might even be about 60% nerd now." I grinned.

Britt slumped her shoulders. "Don't tell me…"

"Ohoho! I am BACK, baby!" I looked directly at Simon. "Quiz me!"

"On?" He asked.

I jumped off the coffee table and to the arm of the chair he was sitting on. "Anything! It's all here! My brain is SAVED!"

He thought of something to ask and then smirked. "What states that you can either know how fast a particle is moving OR where it is, but not both?"

"Heisenburger's Uncertainty principle." I said, jumping up to the back of the chair.

Simon chuckled. "Close enough." He climbed up on the back of the chair and hugged me. "It's good to have you back."

"Yeah." Brittany sounded hollow. I sensed she didn't think it was good. "Anyway, I've got to go. Lots of stuff to do and a closet to re-organize."

"I should head out too." Eleanor jumped out of the chair and stretched. "I'm exhausted."

Her sister in pink teased her. "You just want to go home and admire the championship trophy."

"Nuh uh!" Eleanor teased back. "That's on my schedule for tomorrow. I can't do it with you spraying your disgusting perfume everywhere."

Cue a dramatic gasp as Britt reached the door. "My perfume smells BEAUTIFUL! Better than your stinky gym bag."

"I'll make you wear my gym bag on your head if you come near me with that perfume." Those were the last words we heard from Eleanor, before she was out the door.

With the two of them gone, Dave was the next to head out. "I'm going to get dinner ready."

"What are we having, Dave?" Theo asked, clutching his backpack clip sized Talking Teddy toy in his hands. He has SO many versions of that dang bear.

Our dad smiled, which isn't something he does often. At least, not at me. "We're having lasagna. Veggie lasagna for you, and regular lasagna for the rest of us."

"Mmmmm. Lasagna." My baby bro replied.

I chuckled. "You sound like Homer Simpson."

"Nuh uh!" Theo said defensively, before scratching his head. "Who's he?"

"Seriously?" I facepalmed. "You guys have to start reading TV tropes. Oh, speaking of TV tropes, I just realized my new physics powers are sorta like the ones that JJ on No Ordinary Family has." I slid off the back of the chair and jumped to the couch. "Isn't that cool?"

"You watch a lot of TV." Simon ruffled my hair. "Hey, is your physics vision on right now?"

"Not currently. I'll let you know when it turns on." I jumped onto the arm of the chair Jeanette was sitting in.

Simon looked at me. "Careful."

I stopped balancing on the arm of the chair and instead sat down next to Jeanette, who was now sitting up in the chair instead of laying down.

"Oh yeah. Wouldn't wanna hurt myself again." I put an arm around Jeanette.

"You really are different." Theodore said, looking up at me.

I got bored of sitting still real quickly and carefully hopped down from the chair, to pace along on the floor. "I'm completely different and exactly the same at the same time." I exclaimed. "It's weird, it's freaky, but I kinda love it. I'm mature-er now, Simon." I pulled him out of the chair to join me on the floor. "I know I always used to say I was before, but now I actually am! Before I went out on that football field…."

"Soccer field." Jeanette corrected me.

I continued my monologue. "Right, right, soccer field. Before I went out there, risking my life doing dangerous stuff, I actually tried really hard to stop myself. If not for Ellie coming in and pushing me, I may have backed out. Isn't that EXCITING!? I'm finally developing that survival instinct thing you talk about!"

Simon was astonished. "Wow. That's uhhh….that's great, Alvin."

I hugged myself in my cyan hoodie. "I know it's great! It FEELS great!" I always wanted more control over my thoughts. The impulsive nature could stay, because it keeps me exciting, but I wanted to be able to protect myself when my family and friends weren't around to help me out!

My brother in the royal blue sweater looked from me, to Jeanette, then back to me. "Maybe hanging out with Jeanette so much HAS helped you."

"Duh!" I threw my arms out theatrically. "That's what she's been trying to tell you!"

Jeanette climbed down from the chair to join us. "Kind of, yeah. He's come a long way in a short time, but he's still got a long way left to go."

"I think he can go all the way!" Theodore interjected.

I thought I could too. I wasn't gonna stop tweaking my personality until I was EXACTLY who I wanted to be. Who I was meant to be.

My vision filled rapidly with the glowing equations again and this time, for the very first time since my ability manifested, I knew what everything meant! "It's so….beautiful." I was moved by it. I wished I could share it with Simon. I knew he really wanted a power like this. If only there was a way to let him see what I was seeing. Maybe he'd invent a way, someday.

"Simon,…" Theodore tugged at my arm, trying to snap me out of my mathematical trance. "It's happening again."

"Alvin, buddy, you good?" Simon asked.

Crazy weird being able to calculate how tall each of my brothers were in comparison to each other without having to measure them. My brain handled the measurements for me. And the angles! Gosh, this was gonna help me so much in sports! If only it had a controllable on/off toggle.

I snapped myself back to reality, but the visions were still everywhere. "I'm good. I'm good. It is, uh, still gonna take a while to get used to that."

"You'll get there." Jeanette put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I had an idea. "Hey, Simon, run around the room."

"Uh, okay." He started to run and my new powers got to work feeding me all the info there was about his movement.

"Ohoho! Sweeeet! I can calculate how fast you're going." I exclaimed. I loved this power!

He smiled at me, and slowed his pace by a little bit. "How fast am I going?"

"15 miles per hour." I said. "But as soon as I distracted ya, it dropped to 12 miles per hour."

Theo stuck his Talking Teddy backpack clip in his pocket. "That's not very fast, is it?"

"Incredible!" Jeanette flapped her hands.

Simon got a smirk on his face. At least I think it was a smirk. I could probably calculate the slope of his smirk, but I was too busy thinking about the other stimuli. "Wish you hadn't calculated that, Alvin." I heard my younger bro say.

"Why?" I tried to figure out which way Simon had gone.

Turns out, he was behind me! He attacked me with tickles "Because now you don't know where I am! Haha!"

"Hey! Haha!" I laughed.

Netta burst into a fit of giggles.

The only one not joining the giggle party was Theo. "I don't get it."

"It's a physics thing." The adorable Chipette in purple squeaked.

My baby bro looked irritated. "Yeah, I know that much."

I took my cap off my head and tossed it up in the air, watching the glowing parabolic arc as it completed the journey back to my hand. This was too much fun!

And then, the glowing cyan equations and angles and whatnot vanished as quickly as they'd appeared. "Aw man. Well, show's over."

"We didn't see anything though." Theodore reminded me.

"Show's over for me." I corrected.

Simon wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "It's still a remarkable ability."

"Remarkably unreliable." I smiled. "Kinda like me."

Jeanette returned to the treehouse and then we all had some DELICIOUS lasagna with Dave. I prefer that to the copious amounts of salad. Let me tell you, Dave's lasagna is legendary. I could eat that stuff for days without getting sick of it. Okay, that's probably a lie. I prefer variety. It is the spice of life, as the saying goes.

Later that night, I was organizing my books, by which I mean just stacking them vertically by my bed. I wonder if Simon would let me borrow part of his bookshelf. Eh, that's probably pushing it.

Anyhulahoop, as I was doing this, I got a text from Eleanor. [Heads up. I told Britt about your physics powers.]

Drat! Curse you, pigtailed demon child! She usually is really good at keeping secrets too. I think she told Britt on purpose.

"WHAT!?" I heard Brittany scream angrily. "THIS IS GOING TO MAKE HIM 10 TIMES MORE ANNOYING!"

I sighed. She would have to come to terms with me being a nerdy dude sometime. It's not like I wasn't still fun! As soon as I was allowed to be on sports teams again, I was gonna join them all! With my new ability, I would be one of the best players. I was already getting more accustomed to focusing only on the equations I care about. Although the entire vision itself was spectacular, like an art project.

Unfortunately, physics hallucinations weren't the only hallucinations that would haunt me the rest of my life. I learned this that very same night, while I was in the bathroom, trying to get used to seeing my face with glasses. I was staring into the mirror and making funny faces. Then, I looked away from it. When I looked back, that's when it happened.

I was looking at my face without the glasses. The Alvin in the mirror didn't have the cyan jacket and red T shirt on either. He had my old red hoodie. I was trying to figure out what in tarnation was possibly going on, when he started TALKING to me!

"Yooo hooo, bucko. Remember me? I'm cool, suave, handsome, totally awesome. You know, the kind of guy you used to be." He taunted.

I was tired. This wasn't something I wanted to handle right before bed. "Leave me alone. I can't handle a hallucination right now." Gosh, I was crazy. I'd lost my mind.

Classic Alvin wouldn't take no for an answer. "Well, you better listen up, buster, because the clock is tickin'."

I gave him my sternest expression. "What do you want?"

He pointed a finger at me from his spot in the mirror. "I want you to get your keister out of that physics class. Now, chop chop. Or I'm gonna come out of this mirror and drag you out." He threatened me! My reflection was actually THREATENING me. "Neither of us wants that. I'm not even sure it's physically possible. But you would be the expert on that, wouldn't ya? Future science prodigy?"

I closed my eyes, hoping that would get rid of him. "It's not physically possible. You're a figment of my imagination intensified by my addled brain."

"Whatever." He had my attitude times like five. "Point is, dude, I'm part of you. I'm getting smaller and smaller every day. You know it. I know it. Everyone can see it. Unless you start listening to me, I'm gonna disappear…forever." Wait, was that true? Would the old me vanish entirely? Did he have to in order for the new me to be fully realized?

Did I want that? I DID NOT! "I don't want that. What do I do?" I asked, now prepared to listen to him.

"Ditch science! Party hard! Screw the rules! Be YOU again! Like Britt said!" Okay, maybe I didn't want to listen to him. Why was this so CONFUSING!?

I adjusted my red glasses because they were slipping. They do that a lot. "I can't."

Classic was desperate now. I felt bad for the guy. "Why not? Don't you care what happens to me? Don't you love me?"

"Yes! I love you! But…people change. Jeanette said…" I squeaked, before he cut me off.

He pounded on the mirror. Hard. "You have to stop listening to Jeanette!" He begged. That wasn't an option. I needed her to guide me on my quest of self-betterment.

"I don't want to think about this right now!" I fumed. "Look, man, I need ya. I promise I'll figure this out. Just stop bothering me!" It had been a LONG day.

Classic huffed angrily. "Have it your way. When your new ego dies like the old one, don't come cryin' to me! Hmph!" He vanished from the mirror, leaving me staring at my new and much geekier looking face.

Well, now I was gonna have to deal with that too. Instead of a voice in my head, now he could actually be seen EVERYWHERE. I wondered if the nerdy voice from my head had a corporeal-looking hallucination form too. Ah, the concussion giveth and the concussion taketh away. Hello superpowers, goodbye what was left of my sanity.

The next day, before school, I decided I needed some of that good ol musical medicine to help me with the changes I was facing. Dave got the call my new glasses prescription was in, so I'd be facing another eye doctor appointment after school. I wasn't thrilled, but it was gonna be nice to properly see instead of everything being kinda fuzzy all the time.

I browsed through my dad's collection of antique records to find the perfect one to listen to. That song Theo sang to me popped back into my head, so as I was searching through the records, I started to sing it absentmindedly. It did help lift my mood.

"I'm gonna soak up the sun

I'm gonna tell everyone to lighten up

I'm gonna tell 'em that I've got no one to blame

For every time I feel lame I'm looking up

I'm gonna soak up the sun

I got my 45 on

So I can rock on"

I picked out an Elvis record and sat down in Dave's easy chair, listening to the music and hoping that from here on out, things would turn around for me. Thinking back, since the day I set foot in Dr. Wilson's physics class, it had been a wild ride. New surprises around every corner. Some were good, some not so good. But, I'm gonna take what Theo said to heart. Try and focus on all the good things. My life is extraordinary.

Physics powers! Whooo! He's so cute when he's enjoying himself!

Chapter Text

RE-ADJUSTING

Genius Alvin's POV

Another week passed by and I adjusted to wearing the glasses permanently as well as I could. The new prescription made everything sharp and vivid. It was nice to see properly again, especially after the whole eye dilation ordeal. If only I looked good wearing these things. Oh well, at least it was only glasses. It's not like my appearance was going to get even worse.

The physics visions continued to come and go at random. They helped entertain me while I watched everyone else play sports. I was still under strict orders not to do anything sporty for a while. As much as I hated being limited like this, I understood the purpose was to protect me from any more serious injuries.

Besides, as soon as Dr. G. gave the okay, I was gonna throw myself back into every sport imaginable. Football, soccer, basketball, baseball, tennis, volleyball, golf, dodgeball, kickball, and more. I couldn't wait to skateboard again. I was banned from doing that too. On the plus side, I got to watch a lot of TV and read a ton of books.

I also spent a TON of time hanging out with Jeanette. She taught me more about how to think before I act. I was getting even better at thinking. I was also getting consistently nicer and making fun of people less. I still made fun of Britt because she still made fun of me, but now making fun of even Britt was starting to cause me a lot of guilt.

Jeanette also taught me to appreciate nature more and the importance of taking care of the planet. She comforted me when I realized what a complete mess the world is and helped me suffer through the lessons all about the dark side of scientific discoveries. I had no idea how many horrible tragedies inventions have caused. I mean, I knew, but I didn't KNOW. I wasn't thinking about it deeply. Now that I was making connections, I understood the ramifications.

I won't go into a lot of detail, cuz I don't want to bring ya down, but just know that every weapon of mass destruction started as an invention idea in someone's head. I vowed that if I ever invented anything, which I probably wouldn't since I wasn't a scientist, I would try my best to avoid destroying things. That would be hard, since pretty much any object placed into Classic Alvin's paws becomes a weapon of mass destruction. I was still Classic Alvin, at least….partially.

Speaking of Classic Alvin, I'd had a couple more hallucinations involving him and they were getting annoying. A few more days passed and I started to suspect that Classic Alvin was trying to destroy my glasses at any cost. Or, maybe, I was just a giant klutz. That could be it too.

I went through three more pairs of glasses in about a week. First, I accidentally zapped a pair with one of Simon's inventions and it melted. Being his lab assistant wasn't as easy as I was hoping it would be. The next pair I destroyed by running over them because they fell off my hat while I was driving my hot rod. Maybe storing them on the brim wasn't such a stellar idea. The last pair was dropped out the window and then eaten by the lawnmower while Theo was mowing the grass. Dave had been on me to mow the grass, but I convinced Theo to do it. Maybe I deserved that. I really should do more chores.

Eventually, Simon had enough of my accident-proneness. He called me into the basement and handed me a pair of slightly larger framed, still red, shiny metallic glasses.

"What are these for?" I asked.

He smiled at me. "They're totally indestructible." He explained. "You can set them on fire and nothing would even melt. Enjoy!"

Predictably, I wanted to test them out, so I got out a match and prepared to set the glasses ablaze.

"No! NO! DON'T ACTUALLY TRY TO SET THEM ON FIRE!" Simon yelled, taking the match away.

"FINE!" I looked at the shiny new glasses. "I'll find a different way to test them."

I ran upstairs and threw them in the blender. They spun around and around like crazy. The blades whirred, but there wasn't a scratch on them. HOLY NUTS! They really WERE indestructible.

Dear ol Dave came in and caught me. He didn't understand what was going on. "Why did you put your glasses in the blender!?" He shouted.

I beamed. "For science!" I declared. I took the glasses out and put them on. "Ohoho! Not a scratch!"

That was the sort of craziness that our house was known for now, since Simon and I had officially become science buddies. Dave and Theo were still adjusting to it. They weren't very fast at adapting. I could tell Dave was having a hard time seeing me as the budding prodigy type.

I decided to start doing all my chores more often for a few days…which turned into another week. I hoped that Dave would take notice and see how responsible I was now! He did, kinda! When I took apart the vacuum cleaner to try and upgrade it with Simon, he made a comment about how he "never thought he'd see the day I'd do chores without being reminded repeatedly." Of course, then the vacuum cleaner exploded and both Dave and Simon yelled at me, but I was STILL making progress. It was just slow progress.

A couple days later, I was trekking around the park with Jeanette. She was telling me all about the delicate, uh,…ecosystem! Yeah, that's the word. I was only half listening. I was too busy thinking about sports. I wanted to play sports again so badly.

"Did you know that ants are the strongest animals on earth? They carry up to 30 times their own weight!" Jeanette rambled. She noticed me laying on the park bench. "I'm boring you, aren't I? I'm so sorry. I am trying to make this as exciting as possible."

"You aren't boring me!" I sat up on the bench with a start. "My mind is just…kinda elsewhere currently."

She took out a notepad and wrote something down on it. "What are you thinking about?"

I sighed. "I miss sports."

"We could play chess." The girl in the lilac purple dress with all sorts of bug designs on it was trying her best to cheer me up, but it wasn't working.

"Chess isn't a sport." I responded, sticking my hands in the pockets of my red hoodie. I was back to wearing mostly red for a change, with a cyan T shirt underneath and a yellow letter A pin on my jacket.

Jeanette sat on the bench beside me. "Actually, chess is in fact a sport."

Really? Huh? Who knew? Well, now I did, I guess. "I mean, you know, active sports. I wanna try my new physics visions out playing football or soccer or basketball!"

"You've only got one more month to go before you can." She reminded me.

ONE WHOLE MONTH!? I felt my heart sink. I know that the doctor said a month or two, I wish she hadn't gone with the two. My head felt fine! Everything was back to how it was supposed to be, aside from the random hallucinations. "That's four and a half weeks! Thirty one days!"

"Easy there, math wiz." She giggled. "It'll pass faster than you think."

"I'm going crazy." I muttered. "How am I supposed to get exercise!?"

Her midnight eyes lit up. She had an idea. "We could go on a nature hike."

I thought it over for a moment. I really didn't have anything else to do. I'd done half my homework and I needed something stimulating to charge my brain to get through the other half of it once I returned home. A nature hike could provide a little bit of fuel, maybe. "A tempting suggestion."

She rose from the bench and grabbed my hand. "It'll be fun. I promise. Remember that trying new things is part of your therapy."

Oh right. This was all still therapy because I was still having an identity crisis. I'd almost forgotten. Thank you for the reminder, Jeanette. "Okay, okay." I followed her to the woods near the park. "Let's do it."

She let out a happy squeaky squealing noise and then jumped onto the dirt covered path that led into the woods. I crept closer to her, wondering what this nature hike would entail. I'd hiked before with Dave, but I hadn't paid attention to my surroundings much before. My enhanced and upgraded brain really liked to observe stuff. Although it also really liked observing Jeanette.

She was wearing her hair in her usual bun, with that bow that hung from the back of it. It took all my restraint not to bat at the lilac colored bow as I watched it swing from side to side with each step she took. She really was a pretty girl. Naturally pretty. She didn't feel the need to slather on a ton of makeup or anything.

And just when I thought she couldn't possibly get any prettier, she began to sing in the most beautiful voice imaginable. It sent chills shooting down my spine.

"You think you own whatever land you land on

The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim

But I know every rock and tree and creature

Has a life, has a spirit, has a name"

She walked down the trail, stopping to pick up a tiny turtle that was in the middle of our path. She set the animal down gently near a small puddle of water at the base of one of the trees.

"You think the only people who are people

Are the people who look and think like you

But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger

You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew"

She grabbed my hand again and pulled me farther ahead. We came to a bunch of hoof prints that looked like they belonged to a deer or something. She stepped carefully around the prints, while I stepped directly on each one, making a game of it.

"Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon?

Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?

Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain?

Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

I recognized the song now that she was at the chorus. It was from that one Disney movie she liked to watch. She said the story was completely inaccurate but the music was fantastic. I sneezed as she frolicked through a field of flowers and then blew a dandelion right in my face. That was weird. I didn't have allergies….that I knew of.

"Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

She tackled me out of nowhere and we both fell down in the grass with the flowers surrounding us. I could have sworn there was a rainbow in the sky above, despite there being no rain. That pretty much defied the laws of physics! Didn't it?

"Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest

Come taste the sun sweet berries of the Earth

Come roll in all the riches all around you

And for once, never wonder what they're worth"

Jeanette led me onto a new trail and we came to some trees with berries on them. She picked them and nibbled them. I figured that meant they weren't poisonous, so I did the same. After all, Jeanette knew a lot about plants.

"The rainstorm and the river are my brothers

The heron and the otter are my friends

And we are all connected to each other

In a circle, in a hoop that never ends"

We followed the trail to a small pond and without missing a beat, Jeanette jumped into the pond and then splashed me. I climbed up a tree and used it as a diving board, diving into the pond and splashing her. We held each other's hands once we were out of the pond and back on the trail, spinning each other around and around.

"How high does the sycamore grow?

If you cut it down, then you'll never know"

After that, we climbed up a tree and sat on the branches, glancing down at the forest floor below.

"And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon

For whether we are white or copper skinned

We need to sing with all the voices of the mountain

We need to paint with all the colors of the wind"

We raced together down the trail again. I was hoping Jeanette knew where she was going, because I was totally lost. Once we reached the end of the trail that led us back to the park, Jeanette scooped up a small pile of dirt and showed me all the creepy crawlies wriggling around in it. Kinda cool, also gross.

"You can own the Earth and still

All you'll own is Earth until

You can paint with all the colors of the wind."

She finished her song and we both returned to the play structure in the park. I hopped onto the swing and she followed me. I thought about all the cool stuff she'd shown me. I never knew nature hikes could be so fun before. I had been writing off anything that didn't immediately grab my attention or seem cool enough. There was so much I'd been missing out on.

"Okay, you win, that nature hike was really awesome." I told Jeanette, glad I'd taken a chance on it. Trying new things with her was always fun. "You're awesome too."

"I knew you'd like it." She kicked her legs and swung higher.

I did the same, because there was no way I was letting her go higher or faster than me. "I wish I took a chance on all this stuff sooner. You and Simon have taught me so much."

She smiled. She has a gorgeous smile. "Better late than never."

I smiled back. "Yeah. Good philosophy to live by."

As I was continuing to swing, the glowing cyan equations filled my vision again. I was getting more and more used to that, but it was still always a shock when it turned on randomly.

"Are you okay?" Jeanette asked, noticing that I had seemingly spaced out.

I nodded. "Superpowers activated again." I said with a chuckle.

"Should I run around and let you calculate my speed?" She replied playfully.

"Nah. I'm good calculating the speed of both of us swinging plus the wind resistance and the force of gravity on us." I squeaked.

"Wow." She smiled again, turning her head to look at me. "That's so amazing. How do you keep all that straight?"

I shrugged. I didn't know how….In fact, I wasn't super good at keeping it straight. "I try and pick out the stuff I care most about in the vision. It's kinda tricky, because there's just so much but, like everything else, I'm learning."

"How often does it happen?" She had her notepad out again and her swinging speed had slowed down. Her writing speed was currently 40 words per minute. Not that you care, am I right? I was pretty focused on her writing, considering she was taking notes on yours truly.

"About once a day on average. But usually it's just super random. I never know when to expect it." I answered. "But, there's something familiar about it."

She nibbled the eraser on her pencil. "Familiar? How so?"

I looked around at the physics equations all laid out in midair so neatly for me to observe. "It feels like I've done this before, like, before the soccer ball hit my head."

"Fascinating." She jotted something else down on the notepad. "Where could you possibly have done it before?"

I chuckled. "In my dreams, I guess." WAIT A SECOND! I was struck with a vivid memory of seeing physics equations in the air while calculating the physics of waterslides in A DREAM! "That's it!"

She stopped the swing and hopped off. "What's it?"

"My dreams! Of course! I can do this in my dreams! I have done it there before!" I exclaimed, launching myself off the swing at the perfect angle to assure a safe landing on my feet. "Simon was right! All it did was knock the power from my dreams into reality!"

Jeanette jumped up and down excitedly. "That is so neat!"

"I know! Wait until I tell Simon I have always had this skill and just never picked up on it before. Remember how I launched myself off the roof of a house and bounced off an umbrella to reach the finish line in that bike race?" I danced around excitedly. I was figuring more and more out about myself each day.

The Chipette frowned. "I wasn't around for that, so I don't remember."

"Oh right." I took my fidget cube from my pocket and played around with it to entertain myself. "Well, I calculated the angles and I KNEW I'd make it. I just…didn't realize that's what I did until now. I thought I just took a random leap, but it wasn't random! It was very precise!"

"Well, it, uh, it may have been luck." Jeanette pointed out as we started to leave the park.

My vision was still swimming with a marvelous mathematical masterpiece. (Try saying that three times fast.) "Luck?" I laughed. "Netta, I have the worst luck EVER. Even your fairy blessing thing couldn't change that. There's no way it was luck."

"Ah yes. True true." She let a red bug land on her finger. "Look at this?"

"That little thing flew at you at 37 miles per hour." I said, taking a look at the creature. I wished I could get a good look, but all the equations were still in the way. "What is it?"

"A ladybird." She squeaked. "Or a ladybug as some call them."

I blinked. "So is it a bird or a bug?" I asked.

"A bug. They're very cute, don't you think? Did you know they cuddle together in groups to keep warm in the winter?" As she spoke, the little creature's wings fluttered. It was a weird bug. What I thought was its back was actually its wings. It appeared to split itself in half to fly off.

"I didn't know that." I replied. "That is kinda cute. Are you some kind of bug expert too?"

She blushed. "Oh, I wouldn't say expert. I study all of mother nature's creatures."

My eyes were locked on her beautiful face. The physics equations finally disappeared from my vision, though I knew they would return again at some point. "Tell me more about these ladybirdybug thingies."

And off she went, babbling like a babbling brook. "Technically, they're a member of the beetle family. There are about 5,000 different species of ladybugs. Their bright colors and spots warn predators that they taste absolutely dreadful. Unfortunately, like many bugs, their population is declining quite rapidly due to pesticides and climate change."

"That's terrible." I frowned. "We gotta save them. Why are there so many animals we gotta save? I mean, that's a lotta work for two little chipmunks."

"We do what we can to help." Jeanette put a hand on my shoulder. "Sometimes little steps don't seem like they help very much, but if we convince a lot of people to take the same steps, we create a huge wave of change for the better."

We looked both ways and crossed the street, still discussing things. "So what sorta things can I do to help? What sorta things do you do to help?"

"For starters, I try to use renewable energy sources whenever I can. Wind power, solar power, that sort of thing. And when I use pesticides, I make sure to invent my own using things that deter bugs without harming them. It does help that I can ask them what their least favorite scents are." She explained. It still baffles me how she can genuinely understand what the bugs are saying to her. But I'm sure my physics powers are equally baffling from Netta's perspective.

She never answered the first part of my inquiry. "So what can I do to help?" I repeated.

"You've got enough to work on already." She told me. "I would start by just…not squashing any more bugs for fun."

I couldn't believe I used to do that. It was basically murder. Those little guys were just moving along, living their life and then my giant shoe crushed all their hopes and dreams. "I promise I won't."

"And don't swat flies." She added.

I groaned. "But they're so annoying. The buzzing makes it so hard to focus."

"Everyone else says that you're annoying." She reminded me. She was the one person who didn't get easily annoyed by me.

I smiled that dorky little half smile at her. "Yes, and everyone else swats me. I fail to see your point."

She put on a more serious face. "You don't die from it though."

"Ah, good,..good answer." I shuffled ahead awkwardly. "No more killing flies. Am I allowed to trap them and relocate them?"

She seemed okay with that. Thank goodness. "As long as you can do it humanely."

"Ohoho! I can for sure!" I currently had no idea how, but knowing what an idea factory my mind was, I was sure I would come up with something.

We arrived back at the treehouse and Jeanette invited me inside. "Do you need to stay for a bit and go over any homework questions?"

I noticed the silhouette of Brittany in the window and decided it was best not to risk my good mood by having to listen to her complain about how I'm "not Alvin." I so wanted to spend more time with Netta, but there would be plenty of other opportunities in the future. "I think I'm good for now, but I'll text ya if I think of anything."

"See you tomorrow." She hugged me and I felt my cheeks heat up.

I hugged her back. "You too."

I wonder why I always felt so weirdly mushy around Jeanette these days. Eh, it must be a side effect of the Road To Self Betterment process. I feel a lot less macho and strangely, I kinda like it. I feel more like me, and less like me at the exact same time. I'm such a befuddling enigma of a person. Despite all this, I am positive that I am still Alvin. Britt cannot change my mind. Netta's lessons are good for me. I am growing, maturing, becoming Alvin-improved, Alvin-upgraded, Alvin-but totally better! Still wish I had a shorter way of explaining that. Maybe it'll come to me eventually.

ALVIN: Theo, your time has come…

THEODORE: Finally! I know I volunteered to be last so Ellie wouldn't have to be, but I really want everyone to know my thoughts.

ALVIN: Well, you're in luck pal! This next part is all you!

THEODORE: Yay! Thanks, Alvin!

ALVIN: I know your part is gonna be outstanding.

THEODORE: But way less wordy than yours. Haha.

ALVIN: Oh for sure.

Theodore's POV

Having two genius brothers was weird. Not in a bad way, but not in a good way either. I already didn't feel like I fit in and now I fit in even less. But Alvin was so happy. He was only acting half like him and half like Simon, but he was so happy. He smiled so much. He was always talking about all the new stuff he'd learned, especially all the stuff Jeanette taught him.

I know Simon said that genes don't work that way, but from my point of view, it seemed like someone had taken a giant switch on Alvin's personality and tried to flip it in reverse. Then, it got stuck before it could fully be reversed. The switch was set in the middle now, somewhere between rebel guy and good kid.

I never knew what to expect. One day, Alvin conned me into mowing the lawn for him. The next day, he felt so bad for tricking me that he did ALL my chores for me along with his own. Then there was a day when he jumped out and scared me while I was trying to watch TV. That was followed by a day when he wanted to watch PBS kids shows with me. It was driving me kinda nuts.

It was driving Simon nuts too. He was happy to have a lab assistant, but Alvin still wasn't the sort of lab assistant he was looking for. Alvin would touch things he wasn't supposed to, try to improve Simon's inventions without Simon asking him to, he wasn't good at following directions, and he liked to make things explode.

As for Dave, he was trusting Alvin to get his grades all taken care of. Alvin had passed physics, science, and math and failed everything else last marking period. The end of this marking period was nearing again, as well as the time when Alvin could start playing sports again.

In addition to worrying about if Alvin was as on top of his grades as he claimed to be, Dave was worried Alvin would get hurt again if he rejoined the soccer team. It was up to me to convince him that Alvin would be okay, because I knew how much playing sports meant to him. Plus, having him play sports was a good way to make sure a tiny piece of the old Alvin stayed around.

"He'll be fine, Dave. The only reason he got hurt was because he couldn't see. He has indestructible glasses now." I said, sitting on the chair in Dave's home office.

My dad frowned. He was still pretty worried. "I just don't know. Eleanor said he's been pretty distracted recently, even before the concussion incident."

I pouted. "You gotta let him play! You just gotta! He's been looking forward to it for almost two months!"

"What about his hallucinations? What if they distract him and he gets hit by another ball." Dave's trembly hand took a sip from his coffee mug. The one that looked like it had piano keys on it. I got him that for Christmas one year. I can't remember which year.

I shook my head. "He won't. He'll be smarter now. Simon said he's got survival instincts." Or that he was gaining survival instincts. Something like that.

"I still need time to think it over." My dad said, coming over to give me a hug. "But I appreciate that we can talk about this."

I smiled and hugged him back. It was hard cuz I'm tiny and he's really tall. "I like talking to you. At least I don't have to look up what words you say."

"That is getting old, isn't it?" He chuckled.

I nodded. "Real old. I like when they only talk intellectually to each other. When they do it to me, I feel left out and dumb…and I know I'm not dumb."

"I still can't believe Alvin's turned into….that." Dave told me as we walked toward the door of the home office.

"Me either." I frowned, then smiled. I had to keep looking on the bright side. "But he has always been full of surprises."

"True." Dave opened the door and we walked out into the kitchen to get ready for dinner. Unfortunately, we walked right into another Alvin and Simon argument. Sigh. I thought them both being geniuses would help them argue less. Nope. They found common ground, and STILL the arguments continued.

Let me set the scene for you. Alvin was hanging upside down from the light above our dining room table, holding a history book. He was wearing a red hoodie with a yellow A pin on it, all zipped up. I'm sure he still had his neon blue "Albert" jacket somewhere. Simon was staring up at him with an odd look.

"What are you doing?" My brother in the blue T-shirt asked.

"I figured out through months of trial and error, that I retain information better when I view it upside down." Alvin responded.

Simon wasn't impressed. "Uh huh."

Our oldest brother babbled on. "It's my new system."

That's when Simon smirked, a very Alvin-like smirk. Weird. "You know, if I were you, I would accuse you of being a vampire."

"It's a good thing you aren't me." Alvin retorted.

"Not yet anyway." I mumbled to myself. Simon was changing a little too. I think it was mostly from the lack of sleep though. Still, I figured he'd change even more eventually.

Dave crossed his arms. "Alvin, get down." At least he wasn't yelling.

"No! I have almost absorbed this whole chapter. I need to know it to pass the history test." Alvin insisted. History was one of his worst subjects. Even being a sudden science and math genius couldn't fix that.

A thought popped in my head. It was a good thought. A smart thought. "Couldn't you just sit right side up and hold the book upside down?" I asked Alvin, taking my seat at the table.

"Ohoho! Brilliant thinking, Theodore." He replied.

Simon raised an eyebrow and looked up at Alvin again. "You hadn't thought of that?"

"No." The chipmunk in the red hoodie admitted.

"155 IQ and you never once thought of that? Unbelievable." And there went my middle brother with his usual eye roll.

Alvin got pretty mad. "Stop throwing my IQ score in my face every time I make a stupid decision." He snapped

Simon climbed into a chair. "I'm just saying, it is very hard to see evidence of genius in you at the moment."

Alvin turned himself right side up but now instead of hanging from the ceiling light, he was sitting on top of it, swinging side to side. "My genius works in mysterious ways."

"ALVINNN!" Dave finally did his iconic scream. "Get down from there before you hit your head AGAIN."

"Yeah!" I echoed. "You don't want your brain more scrambled."

Alvin jumped off the light and crashed onto the table, still holding the history book. "Oh crud. Didn't think of that either." He said. At least he landed on his feet.

"Put the history book away, you'll have plenty of time to read it after dinner." Dave instructed, bringing out some fresh sweet potatoes and green beans with a side of applesauce and honey covered biscuits.

Dinner looked super duper tasty! I couldn't wait to dig in!

"Time isn't fixed, David." Alvin said in his snooty smart guy voice. "It's relative." He sat in his chair and propped the history book up by his plate so he could read it while he ate. "Which means that you and I experience time quite differently. What is enough time for you, may be mere seconds to me."

"Alvin, quit it." Simon whispered.

But Alvin ignored him. "If you would like, I can draw up a diagram after dinner to explain the concept. See, what Einstein said is…."

"Alright! That's it!" Dave snatched Alvin's history book away from him. "No science talk at the table. No reading at the table. We are going to sit down and have a nice family dinner where everyone is a part of the discussion and no one feels left out."

Thank goodness. I looked forward to dinner a lot because, well, aside from liking food, I liked being able to properly talk to my brothers without worrying they were gonna start talking big brain stuff that my little brain couldn't relate to.

Alvin gave Dave the stinkiest stink eye of all. "Well, there goes my chance at a passing history grade. I hope you're happy."

"Alvin, be nice." I scolded him.

His ears drooped and he sulked. "Sorry for breaking the no books at the table rule."

"Do you remember why Dave had to enact the "no books at the table rule?" Simon asked, cutting his sweet potato and then helping cut mine for me.

The chipmunk in the red hoodie had a blank stare on his face. The kind of stare that looked very much like his old self. His pre-genius-ified self. "Honestly, no."

"Allow me to refresh your memory." Simon went on. "It was because you almost sliced off your own finger with a pizza cutter due to being distracted by a book."

"Table time is eating time. Not reading time." I added.

"Oh puh-leeze." Alvin groaned. "That was one time."

"Then you almost choked eating carrots." Dave said sternly. "And broccoli. Look, we are just trying to keep you safe."

"You're obsessed with reading." I told Alvin sweetly. "It's not healthy."

He was getting madder by the minute. Uh oh. "I am not obsessed with it. I like it. Why do you guys think everything I like is an obsession!?"

"Because it is." Simon said in a no-nonsense tone.

Alvin narrowed his eyes. "I wouldn't have to read so much if I could still play sports. Put yourself in my shoes for once, guys. I used to be out there, having fun, having the time of my life. Now, in order to get that same vibe, I have to read about other people having fun and imagine it. But, someday, hopefully very soon, I will be out there again, living it up. I will show everyone that it's possible to be nerdy and also sporty at the same time! I will change the world!"

Dave sighed. Simon sighed a few seconds after him.

"Alvin, I think I speak for everyone when I say, please put some food in your mouth and stop talking." Simon quipped.

"I don't mind it." I squeaked. "At least he's off the science stuff."

"Oh oh! I have more not-science stuff to talk about. Jeanette and I have been studying how people think and why they do the things they do." Alvin went on.

Dave picked apart his biscuit and drizzled honey on it. "That's nice, Alvin."

"I have learned that some people base decisions on logic over emotion." My brother in red was too busy talking to pay attention to his food, so I stole some of his green beans.

"That's me." Simon remarked. He's right. He definitely makes decisions that way.

Alvin took a sip of water and then rambled more. It was nice to see him excited about something besides physics. "And some people base decisions on emotion over logic."

I pointed to myself, happy to be included. "That's ME!"

"Some people base decisions on both at the same time and become conflicted about which one to use." Alvin pointed to himself. "And that would be me. My problem isn't that I don't think before I act, it's that I think and feel so deeply that I get super duper confused."

"Your other problem is that your logic is, as you would say, "Insane Troll Logic." Simon commented.

Alvin started to tear up, but they were happy tears and not sad tears. "You read TV tropes like I asked you too. Thank you!"

Oh goody…not. They were back to talking stuff I didn't know about. "Can anyone tell me what a trope is? Please?" I requested.

"Sure! A trope is…" Alvin began.

I stopped him, afraid his explanation would do no good. "Not in scientific terms."

Alvin and Simon looked at each other. They were wondering how to explain it un-scientifically. I could tell.

Finally, Alvin spoke. "Go ahead, bro." He pointed to Simon. "I still gotta learn how to dumb stuff back down."

"I am also interested in these, what did you call them? Tropes?" Dave added.

"Simply put, a trope is an overused plot device in a TV show." Simon explained.

I breathed a sigh of relief. "That's it? Boy, I was worried it was something like gravity." I giggled.

It was a pretty fun dinner. We talked about a lot of different things. I got the opportunity to tell them all about the newest episodes of Talking Teddy too. And eventually, we lifted the no-science talk thing so that Simon could explain how he made Alvin's glasses indestructible. Alvin really looked good in the new glasses. They were super shiny, and they fit his eyes even better than the old pairs he kept ruining by accident.

I am sure pretty soon I'll be used to the new way things are around here. It's not completely different. Some things, the most important things, are still the same as they were. I just worry a lot about Brittany. She still doesn't wanna call Alvin his name and it's making him sad. She also really hates him hanging with Jeanette. I found that out when I overheard Simon and her talking at school the next day.

Alvin had just walked by Simon's locker, talking to himself…but also to Simon, I think. "The stars are pretty aren't they? So magical. Tiny glowy glittery dots. We're all made of particles and stardust. The same stuff created when a star explodes is inside every living thing. Stardust….whooo." He walked away with a dazed look on his face.

Brittany leaned over and invaded Simon's space. "Okay, so, I'm pretty sure he and Jeanette are eating pot brownies from somewhere." She said.

I wonder what pot brownies taste like. They're probably delicious, because they're brownies. All brownies are! Aw man, now my stomach is growling. Thanks, Britt.

"No. They aren't." Simon smiled fondly. "She just has a very calming effect on people. Like a walking and talking anti-depressant."

Brittany elbowed him. "And you say you don't LIKE her." She stressed the word like. She was saying Simon had a crush on Jeanette. I wasn't so sure about that.

"I like her! I just don't LOVE her." Simon confirmed my suspicion. "She's a good friend."

Brittany folded her arms. "Well, she needs to get away from Alvin before any more of her personality rubs off on him." The Chipette in the dark pink sequined top and ruffled light pink skirt frowned. "It's creepy and unhealthy."

"You're just saying that because you have a crush on Al…" Simon quipped, before Brittany shoved her hand over his mouth.

"Zip it, Simon." She said in a threatening way.

Simon laughed "Come on. Everyone knows about it except Alvin." A sly look crossed his face. "He has a crush on you too, btw." Btw? Since when did Simon shorten by the way to btw!? Oh no. Maybe he really WAS turning into Alvin.

Brittany sighed as she grabbed her stuff from her locker. "Maybe he did before. I don't know where his head's at now. It's been so long since he acted…like himself."

Simon nodded. "I know. But I have faith he'll make it out of this."

"And what if he doesn't?" The sad girl who was convinced she lost her best friend forever was very hard to un-convince.

"He will." Simon repeated. "Eventually, he'll get tired of this and slip into old habits." I wasn't so sure about that, though I kinda secretly hoped that was true. I missed the old Alvin.

"But what if he doesn't!?" Brittany was frantic.

The bell rang, signaling that it was time for class. I decided Brittany needed my answer to her question, so I walked across the hall and over to her. "Then we love and support him anyway because that's what friends do."

She and Simon looked surprised to see me. "How….How much of our conversation did you hear?" Simon gulped.

I couldn't lie to them. I don't like lying. "All of it."

For some reason they were both pretty unsettled by that. Why? I mean, I already knew about Britt's crush on Alvin. And about Alvin secretly liking Britt but not realizing it. The amount of stuff Alvin doesn't realize is pretty high.

"Oh crap." Brittany whispered to Simon. "What do we do?"

"It's fine. Uh, you won't tell Alvin any of this, right?" Simon asked me.

I shook my head. "No. I don't wanna mess up his head more."

They both sighed in relief. I was glad that was all settled.

"Now, what are pot brownies and when can I try them? They sound yummy." I rubbed my belly.

Brittany laughed and then took her seat. "This is all on you."

"Why?" Simon frowned. "You're the one who mentioned them."

"Yeah, but you're better at stuff like this." She responded sweetly, batting her eyelashes. She did that when she wanted to get her way. She usually wanted to get her way.

"Come on, Theodore. I will explain to you why you can never ever EVER taste pot brownies." I followed my brother over to his desk. We passed by Alvin, who had his nose stuck in a book again. This time it was a book about a famous soccer player.

Simon did explain that the brownies Britt mentioned have a substance (which means ingredient) in them that is used to create artificial highs (which means it makes you sorta loopy and spaced out…like Alvin is with no brownies required.) and also that they're not for kids to eat. Well, I wouldn't wanna eat something that messes with my judgment. I like my judgment the way it is.

Eleanor passed a note to me before class started officially. It read [Did you talk to Dave about Alvin getting back on the soccer team?]

I quickly wrote her a note back and had Simon fold it like a paper airplane. I found it weird that he didn't object to note passing. Seems out of character. Anyway, my note back said [Yes, I did. He's still thinking about it.]

Eleanor crumpled the note and shoved it into her messenger bag. I was sorry I couldn't deliver her better news. I hoped that Alvin could play sports again soon. Ellie was missing her friend too now.

The only one really happy with the new Alvin was Jeanette. She was happy because she was sure that everything she was teaching him was good for him. Maybe some of it was, but she'd taken it too far and now Alvin had turned into a different sort of annoying. Maybe if I don't do anything to tamper with things, everything will eventually just go back to how it was or level out into a new and less argument prone status quo. It's worth a shot.

Chapter Text

UNLUCKY AS USUAL

Genius-Alvin’s POV

School was not my favorite place to be. It never had been, but it was getting worse and worse. I had to face it: In most people's eyes, I'd gone from the Annoying, Loud, Vain, Immature Nuisance to an Awkward, Lonely, Verbose, Introspective, Nerd. As for my opinion of myself, that changed moment to moment. Every day I discovered something new about the person I am, errr, used to be.

When I lost my popularity, I lost an important part of myself. I began to question if I knew myself as well as I thought I did, and realized that I DIDN'T. When you're a social chameleon trying to hang out with everyone, you change your stripes a lot. (Do chameleons even have stripes? I'll have to ask Jeanette.) I'd molded myself so much to fit what could be considered "cool" and "trendy" and "awesome" that I had entirely lost sight of who I really was.

Now, I had to put those pieces back together using what everyone else said I was. But everyone else had a wildly different view of me. Dave thought I was a troublemaker that needed to be watched so he didn't go off and do dumb stuff. Simon thought I was throwing myself into nerd stuff to replace popularity. Brittany thought I'd become so different that I wasn't even ME anymore. That thought kept me up at night, because she was a really important friend. I had to prove to her I was still Alvin. I had to!

Theodore didn't know what to think, but he supported me and said I was a good person. Eleanor kept telling me I'd become a wimp, which hurt. A lot. And the fact that it hurt proved her point. I HAD become a wimp. I wasn't so sure I liked that. Jeanette seemed to be the only one who really believed that I could change for the better without losing the core of who I was. But was she right? Or was she just too optimistic to consider that her lessons may eventually wipe out Classic Alvin? He seemed to be sure they would, but he also wasn't the brightest version of me.

I started asking the other kids at school who I was. Kevin and Cheesy said I was a good friend, but also manipulative and cunning…in a supervillain way. Vanessa said I was creative and witty and charming. At least one person thought I was still charming. The former soccer teammates of mine said I was a hero for helping them win the championship. I didn't bother correcting them. They would have won regardless of the ball hitting me or not, but taking the credit for the championship win felt nice.

It went on like this all day. I took notes on everything they said. Maybe once it was all laid out together, I'd start to form a more clear picture of who I was. My old drama teacher, Mr. Dotson, thought I'd been argumentative but a talented method actor. My art teacher, Ms. Kate, who I always call Ms. Cake because I forget her actual name, said I was a visionary. Dr. Wilson said he didn't know me well before I set foot in his class, but he could tell I was ambitious.

I even got so desperate that I asked Derek who I was and all he said was "not a nerd, but I like nerd you better. You're more fun to tease." I told Derek to see a therapist and then laughed as he punched the drinking fountain when I moved suddenly. Not gonna lie, that was mighty satisfying.

I shuffled through the notes during my writing class. According to my teachers, peers, and family, I was an absolute miserable wreck of a person and also the coolest and most talented person ever. It didn't feel like those two things went together at all. I was everything. I was nothing. I had potential. I was wasting my potential. I was a famous rockstar, a below average student, a friend, an enemy. The school had to take out an entire insurance policy to pay for damages caused by me, but I'd also saved the school music program by volunteering to be a music teacher once. WHO WAS I!? Could I really be all that? If I could be all that, then I could totally pull off being a jock-nerd too, right?

URGH! THIS WAS SO CONFUSING! Not a day passes by when I'm not entirely confused. Dr. Goodwin blames my confusion and subsequent personality changes on the concussion, but I know better. I'd been changing before I even got the concussion. Now about the other seven of them prior to that last whack on the head, who knows?

"How are you feeling?" Theodore asked me. It was the end of the class period, almost time for our lunch break.

I decided to answer him honestly. He deserved honesty. "Like there's something trapped inside my head trying to claw its way out."

"What?" He looked kinda freaked by that. Crud. Maybe I should have found a better way to explain it.

I pushed up my glasses since they were sliding down my nose again. "I'm fine. I'm just…confused."

He patted my back. "I'm confused too. We can both be confused together."

I love my baby bro so much. It's like he always knows exactly what to say to make me feel less…..alone. I wonder if he says the same stuff to Simon when Simon's feeling down. I hope so. Dang, Netta's really made me NICE. Or maybe I was always nice? Yeah, I have always cared about people and how people were feeling. I don't always think about them before I act, but that doesn't mean I don't care. And Netta also pointed out that once I realize I screwed up, I'm quick to make things right again. She said that's why she's taken to training me. Because I am nice, I just need help properly channeling all my nice-ness.

Anyway, I have to stop monologuing and get into the real meat of our story here. During lunch, I met up with Eleanor and the soccer team. I still wasn't cleared to play and they knew that, but the team kept urging me anyway.

"Come on, are you sure you can't just kick the ball around a bit?" Bruce asked.

"Yeah." Tracy added. "We miss our star player."

I rubbed my neck. I didn't want to disappoint them, and I did miss soccer. However, and this thought shocked me, I DIDN'T want to play until I got the okay from Dr. Goodwin that my brain was fully healed up. It was weird. When I thought I was stupid, I didn't care about being reckless as much. Now that I knew what a true gift I was to the world, (and let's face it, I always kinda thought I was, but not in the smart kid way) I didn't want to take any risks that could damage me further than I was already damaged.

More proof that Jeanette's lessons had seeped in and changed the way I processed my thoughts. Classic Alvin would have just rushed in headfirst and played soccer again. I knew that. I knew what he wanted, I knew what I wanted, and I had the ability to choose between them instead of caving to my impulses.

"Sorry, guys. Head's still a little tender." I fibbed. I figured that sounded cooler than "Sorry, the doctor said I still can't play and I'm obeying her orders."

"It's been almost two months!" John complained.

"Yeah, I think your head is fully healed now, Alvin." Eleanor spun the soccer ball around on her finger. "You sure you don't wanna run a few practice drills?"

I will not cave to the temptation. I will not cave to the temptation. I lost the ability to access my knowledge once, it could happen again. Plus, who knows what other important memories the next concussion could wipe out. Dave said I had temporary amnesia once. I don't remember that, but I do remember Dave having temporary amnesia. It's at the point now where I know more about the vast mysteries of outer space than I do about what's going on in my own head.

"Hey, earth to spacecase." Eleanor poked at me. "Ya seeing flying equations again or what?"

"No. I'm good." I jolted myself back to reality. It was so much easier to zone out these days. I had too much on my mind. Too much stress.

"Cool. Would you like to run a few practice drills?" The Chipette in the mint T shirt repeated.

Yes! No! Yes! No! Maybe! "No thank you." I said finally. I'd made my decision. But was it the right one?

"Since when are you so polite?" Tracy raised an eyebrow at me.

I suddenly felt the need to hastily make an exit. "Uhhh….since now, I guess." But I stayed firmly planted to the spot. "Can I still watch you play?"

"Aren't you sick of watching us?" Bruce asked, starting to kick the soccer ball back and forth with Eleanor.

"Like I said. My head still hurts. I miss playin' sports, but I can't risk it." No! Dude, that sounds lame. "Dave would ground me." I added, not sure if that was true or not. I lied a lot these days. Or half lied. Living a double life was hard work.

"Suit yourself." John said.

Tommy looked at me strangely. "You are planning on coming back to the team, right?"

"Yeah." I took my cap off and rubbed my head. "Eventually. At least, that's the plan."

I watched them play soccer for a while and the physics visions kicked in again. I'm starting to think that areas with a lot of motion are a big trigger for them. That would make sense, wouldn't it? I need to gather more data. As I watched the game, I nibbled on my gummy fruit snacks and the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that Dave packed in my lunch.

Eventually, I got bored watching the soccer game and headed over to hang with my favorite nerds. Simon, Kevin, Warren, and Cheesy. Sometimes Bruce was there, when he wasn't playing soccer with Eleanor. Although, Bruce was more of a superhero geek than a science nerd. I was both. Wait, am I calling myself a nerd now? Yeah, yeah I think I am. Or at least a half nerd. No longer just nerdy, definitely a nerd.

"How good do you think your report card will be this marking period?" Kevin asked me. It was so good that he and Cheesy were talking with me again. The indefinite friendship break was over!

I'd had my report card on my mind for weeks. That's likely why he asked. "No idea." I cringed. "All I know is that my progress reports were nothing to sneeze at."

If you're curious, even with Simon, Theo, Jeanette, and occasionally Dave helping me, my grades were alphabet soup. Inconsistent alphabet soup. Whenever I improved in one area, I slipped in two others. Physics remained high, but it was no longer an A. I'd dropped to a B plus, but at least the B plus was steady.

Gym class I was failing now. I wasn't allowed to play sports, so Coach Dopkins had whipped up some paperwork for me about the rules of different sports. The paperwork wasn't interesting, so I hadn't done much of it…or actually any of it. I hated myself for letting my grade slip. I knew how to answer the worksheets, I just didn't have the motivation to bother answering them.

Actually, instead of explaining further, I'm just gonna let ya look for yourselves. Here was my progress report at the start of the marking period.

History- D plus

Math- C

English- B minus

Science- C plus

Gym- D

Art- B minus

Writing- C

Physics- B plus

Then, these were my grades in the middle of the marking period.

History- C plus

Math- B minus

English- B plus

Science- D (I know, annoying, right?)

Gym- F

Art- D

Writing- A

Physics- B plus

And these were my grades the last time I checked a week ago. So, long story short, I had NO IDEA what to expect for my final report card coming soon.

History- D minus

Math- C minus

English- C

Science- B

Gym- F

Art- B minus

Writing- C plus

Physics- B plus

Simon tried to make me feel better. "They weren't, well, THAT bad. There's been improvement since last marking period." He stated.

I rolled my eyes. "You mean when I was failing like five classes? Yeah. I should HOPE so. I have worked my tail off to bring my grades up."

"I know you have. I've watched you." My brother looked at me strangely. "Stop itching at your face."

Huh? I took my hand off my cheek. I'd been scratching it pretty hard for no apparent reason. "I didn't even know I was doing that."

"It's a stress reaction." Simon told me sympathetically. "Similar to how Jeanette got the sniffles and hives."

Did he have to remind me!? It was my fault she suffered like that. At least now that my secret was out, she was much less sniffly. "Am I gonna break out in hives?"

"No, no, likely not." He handed me the pack of gummy fruit snacks from his lunch. They weren't his favorite. "You're probably just itching your cheek to get rid of pent up nervous energy."

"I'm not nervous." I replied reflexively.

Kevin and Cheesy both laughed while Warren made an "are you kidding me?" sorta face.

"You're the poster child for nervous energy." Warren remarked.

Was he right? Oh, he was, wasn't he?

"Okay, well, how do I get less nervous?" I asked.

Cheesy raised his hand and waved it around. "I usually eat." He crunched a bag of onion flavored chips.

Kevin traded Simon pretzel sticks in exchange for his cheeseballs. "I usually play videogames." The redheaded human guy with black glasses quipped. "Or do research, but I think research is causing your anxiety so…maybe don't do that."

"I write my feelings in my journal." Warren showed me a purple notebook with a ying yang sign on the cover.

"Those are all great ideas, guys. Thanks." I fibbed. I didn't think any of them would work. The anxiety wouldn't leave until after I got my report card. And only IF that report card was decent.

Simon finished his juice box and threw it in the cardboard recycling bin. "Would you like to try my stress relieving techniques?"

I freaked out and then didn't really answer appropriately. "No! NoNo! I don't want to turn into you more than I already have!"

He scowled and then shot me a signature glare. "All I was going to do was suggest yoga and meditation, but forget it."

"I hate meditation." I squeaked adamantly.

He packed up his lunch in a huff as the bell rang. "The old you hated meditation. The old you also hated science and now you have a sticker on your lunch box that says "I heart physics."

Oof. Ouch. He was right about that. Maybe it was worth giving meditation another go. But the classic Alvin was strong in me today. "It was a gift from Jeanette!" I reasoned, looking at the red and cyan sticker. True, it was a gift, but I also really liked it. It fit me. It was one of many things that reminded me to act like the new me…usually anyway.

I was still feeling nervous as I trekked to my locker to grab the cyan colored jacket that was becoming as much of a comfort item as the cap. I kept my pants and rainbow shoes on, but I slipped off my red zip up hoodie with the yellow A pin and cyan shirt, trading it for my cyan soft plush jacket and a red T shirt with a yellow A.

"Inverting your outfit again?" Eleanor teased, noticing me.

I hadn't noticed her until she spoke. I also didn't know what she meant. "Inverting?"

She chuckled. "You know, inverting. Like on a computer."

I continued to give her a blank stare.

"When you invert colors on the computer, cyan becomes red and red becomes cyan." She explained. "They're opposites."

I looked down at my outfit. So the newest addition to my favorite color collection wasn't just a randomly appealing shade of blue? It was a blue that was the exact polar opposite of red? Well, it made sense given I was trying to flip parts of my personality that I wasn't keen on in reverse. Strange I hadn't known that when I chose the color though. Unless deep down I did know.

"Oh. Uh….I bet that's why they look so good together. You know, opposites attract and all that." I said to Eleanor frantically. I was embarrassed, but I still liked the color and I knew I never wanted to stop wearing it.

She scrunched her nose. She couldn't figure me out. She wasn't alone in that. "Yeah….that's why." She looked at my locker, my neatly organized locker which was still messy by Simon standards, but organized to me. "Hey, do you still have that appointment with Dr. Goodwin after school today?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Dave's picking me up."

"Do you think she'll finally give you the "all clear?" The pigtailed Chipette only had one thing on her mind, getting me back on the soccer team.

I slung my black backpack with the skull on it onto my back, wondering if that backpack still fit my style…or ever fit my style. "Who can say?" I tried to act as nonchalant as possible. "I slipped up and told her about the hallucinations at the last appointment. She thinks there might be more damage than she thought. But, but, the important part is that I am healing!"

"Right." Eleanor responded. I don't think she knew what else to say. "Well, fingers crossed you're okay."

It felt weird. It was like I was living as my best self and living a lie at the same time. I caught my geekified reflection in the classroom window. It shimmered for a brief moment and transformed into Classic Alvin. He looked hurt. The choices I was making were hurting him. They were for the best though. Better safe than sorry. Better to apply myself and fail than not to try at all. Classic shimmered again and the reflection transformed back into mine.

I shook my head to clear it. "Anyway, I gotta get to class." I started to run off and then tripped over one of my shoelaces that had come untied and fell headfirst into Brittany.

"Watch where you're going, Albert." She snapped. Oh yeah, she called me that now. I kinda preferred Anti-Alvin, but what could I do? Britt wasn't easy to reason with.

"My bad!" I helped her pick up her things and my hands clasped around a folder with a bunch of fashion design ideas spilling out of it. "These are exquisite, by the way."

She snatched them from me and held them close to her chest. "I know that." She grumbled. "But, uh, thank you, I guess." She sighed as she looked at my appearance. "So….." She clicked her tongue. "I see you're still weird."

"You know it!" I boasted, as if it was something I was proud of.

"Still no interest in being popular again?" She frowned, looking at me as if I were a complete stranger.

I guess in a way, I was. "Not an inkling." I retorted. It was another half lie. The Classic Alvin in me desperately wanted to be popular. But the uplifted and self bettered side really didn't care….at all. Freaky.

Eleanor couldn't resist joining in our conversation. "I don't know why you keep asking him the same question all the time. You're gonna get the same answer. Face it. He's never going to be the same."

"He'll get bored of this eventually." Brittany eyed me with a sly grin. "And as soon as he does, I'll be there to welcome Alvin back with open arms."

I turned away from her and rubbed the sleeves of my cyan jacket. It was quickly becoming a new stim for me, especially when someone started questioning whether or not I was who I claimed to be. Maybe I have changed more than I feel I have. No! Don't let her in your head! You are Alvin! You ARE Alvin!

"W…W….We sh…should probably get to class." I stammered. "We…d…don't wanna b…be late." Why was stereotypical nerd talk my default now!? Urgh!

"And you're worsening his stress." Eleanor told her older sister. "Nice going." Oooh her sarcasm was as sassy as Simon's.

"He's always stressed these days." Brittany commented, walking into the classroom and taking her seat.

Britt was right. I needed to lean back into Classic Alvin mode and relieve some stress. So, I breezed through the science classwork for the day and then took out my phone to play Jetpack Joyride under my desk where nobody could see. Until Miss. Smith caught me after Bocarter (aka richest jerk in school) tattled on me.

When science class ended, I walked back into the hall to complain to my friends and family. "One of these days, I'm going to transfer the kinetic energy of my fist into a force vector applied to Bocarter's stupid face." I fumed.

Simon chuckled. Jeanette understood what I said, but because of her values, she was not impressed. Eleanor grinned.

Neither Theo nor Brittany knew what I'd just said.

"Speak English, Alvin." The diva in pink grumbled.

I smirked. "That was English."

"Simon?" Theodore glanced up at the taller boy in blue for the answer. "Help."

Simon cleared his throat. "Alvin wants to punch Bocarter." He translated.

I sighed. "You realize I said that in a way they wouldn't understand ON PURPOSE!?"

He smirked back at me. "I did." He chuckled. "As you would say, oopsie."

"Nah. Oopsie is Britt's catchphrase." Eleanor cut in. "Alvin says WHOOPS!"

Then, Brittany and Eleanor both started singing.

"Whoops

He's made another mistake.

Whoops

There's one more thing he can break

Whoops…"

I stopped them, feeling my cheeks get warmer as the embarrassment levels elevated.

"I think I need a quiet place somewhere away from you."

I sang, running off down the hall. I was skipping out on gym class. What was the point of going when I already had an F? There wasn't time to turn it around. I spent all of gym class hanging out in the school library. Why this was becoming my go to place to relax, I wasn't sure. Maybe it was because I associated the library with Jeanette. If Jeanette made me feel safe, then so did the library.

I didn't have my phone, so I hopped on one of the library computers and read more of that TV tropes website. It was fun familiarizing myself with all the tropes. They were as easy for me to memorize as song lyrics, which came a lot easier than physics, even though I was gifted in the physics department. Hmmm. Maybe I was gifted in the music and entertainment department too?

When I finished reading TV tropes, I decided to check out a website Jeanette had been recommending for ages. Coolmath games. That's right! They have computer games that teach you math. How had I never known about this before? I didn't mind brushing up on my skills. Had to keep them sharp somehow.

Before I knew it, it was time to head to my writing class. I suffered through writing a short story about a historically significant thing. Historical fiction. Blah! My worst enemy. Give me science fiction and fantasy ANY DAY. Anyway, I picked the Berlin Wall and wrote a tale about how my brothers and I went to Germany and tore the wall down with the power of rock and roll. We helped re-unite a little girl with her brother. It was heartfelt, it was entertaining, it was even mostly historically accurate…I think, anyway. I made sure to set it in the 80s for the most accuracy possible. I got a C on it. If you ask me, it deserved an A plus, but I was in no place to argue.

Then, it was time for art class. We went outside and were instructed to paint whatever we could see. Jeanette painted a beehive and a butterfly bush with monarch butterflies on it. Me? I painted the soccer field. I was still missing soccer a lot. I even added myself to the soccer field, bouncing a soccer ball on my knee.

"That looks stupendous." The art teacher told me. "But that wasn't the assignment, Alvin."

I shook my paintbrush at her. "Ah ah ah. You said to paint whatever I can see. I see this in my mind's eye."

She threw her hands in the air. "Can't argue with that logic."

"You should add Eleanor to the painting and give it to her." Jeanette suggested.

I didn't actually hate that idea. I began mixing up some mint colored paint because that's a really hard color to get correct. Too much blue and it's cyan, too much green and it's just green.

I leaned closer to Jeanette and watched her add the brilliant orange monarch butterflies to her painting. "How do you make them so realistic like that? Mine looks all…cartoony."

"It takes a lot of practice." She stuck the paint brush behind her ear and held up her thumb in front of her face. "I could teach you some time."

"Why are you holding your thumb like that?" I kneeled on my knees to mix up more paint to add in Eleanor to my picture. I could have just given it to her as is and said she was invisible, but that would be mean.

Jeanette took the paintbrush down from behind her ear and continued to paint. "I'm measuring." She brushed a stray brown hair off her face. "Not everyone has super measuring powers."

"Oh, yeah." I got up to return to my painting to discover that the cuffs of my jeans were covered in paint splatters. I must have knelt in the paints by accident. Whoops. Luckily, the paint missed my shoes.

It was sorta cool looking. Purple, lime green, yellow, cyan, magenta, forest green. However, I was sure that one person would not find it cool. "These were brand new jeans. Dave's gonna kill me." I murmured quietly.

"I think they look better like that." Jeanette commented, midnight eyes shining.

"So do I." I let out a small chuckle. "But that doesn't change the fact that Dave's gonna kill me."

"He would never do anything to hurt you on purpose." She insisted.

"Yeah, I guess not." I agreed. "It's just an expression. It means he'll be mad."

"Oh." She did that adorable half smile. "Well, tell him that I said they make you look like a very distinguished gentleman. Maybe that'll make him less mad."

"Worth a try." I loved how she was full of little comments like that.

The day was going better than most, honestly. At least, it was until I got to my beloved physics class. I noticed immediately that something was wrong. Dr. Wilson was taking all his posters off the walls. There were also a bunch of boxes in the room. Oh no! No no no no! Please tell me he was moving rooms to another section of the school or something.

"What's going on?" I asked, sounding forlorn. I like that word. Sad just doesn't fully encapsulate my feelings sometimes.

He looked at me. His eyes were less twinkly than usual. "Well, you know how an object in motion wants to stay in motion?"

I felt sick. "You're….You're LEAVING?"

"I'm sorry, Alvin." He packed another box of his posters and demonstration equipment. "The enrichment classes were only for one semester."

"Are they sending you back to Greece?" I blubbered, tears leaking out of my eyes. I was a weepy wimp and I didn't care. He couldn't LEAVE!

He chuckled, though he still looked sad. "Oh, goodness no. I'm being transferred to another school district in California. I left Greece because I'd always wanted to live in California. There's no way I'd give up living the dream."

"But….but….can't you be in both school districts?" I felt my lip quiver.

He let out a heavy sigh. "The commute between schools is too long. Believe me, this is the last thing I wanted to hear today, but the new job is a wonderful opportunity. I mustn't squander it."

I ran over and threw myself around his leg. "How am I supposed to go on without you!?" I sobbed. "You're the only teacher who GETS me! You know how I learn! You know how to make stuff stick! I can't do it without you! I can't! Please don't leave me!"

"I know. I know." He gently shook his leg until I dismounted it. Then, he bent down to look into my eyes. "But, Alvin, now I have to go and help other kids who are struggling. I've given you all the tools you need to succeed. Now, all you have to do is use them."

"How can I use them without you coaching me!?" I sobbed again. "You're the only one who made this school tolerable!"

He handed me a tissue. At this point, the other students were filing into the class. They looked sad, but no one looked as devastated as I did.

I could hear them whispering about me.

"What's wrong with Alvin?"

"He's been so different lately."

"Do you think it's the concussion?"

"Hard to believe he used to be cool."

Dr. Wilson lifted me up onto his desk. "You'll be okay. You just have to have faith in yourself. And, well, I don't usually do things like this, but…" He handed me a slip of paper. "Here's my email address. If you ever feel like you are at the breaking point and you absolutely need my advice, send me an email. Or just, keep me updated on how you're doing from time to time. Not every day, but like….once a month, okay?"

I looked at the slip of paper in my hand. I had a teacher's email address. That was….weird. "Okay." I forced a smile through my all encompassing sadness.

"I've got to teach the class now." He told me softly. "But if you stay after, I have something for you. I think you'll like it."

I climbed off his desk and took my seat, feeling the weight of gravity more strongly than I'd ever felt it before. My world was spinning. And the physics hallucinations kicked in again, which only made me more dizzy. I shut my eyes and listened as Dr. Wilson taught possibly the last lesson he'd ever teach me. It was a lesson about Dark Matter and what he calls the chasm of ignorance. Apparently, there's trouble connecting all the theories about space and time together, which is why they're only theories and not laws.

He passed back our exam grades and I opened my eyes enough to see my final grade on it. An A. Not a single question missed. Of course, my report card grade would still be a B plus. Dr. Wilson didn't weigh the exams a whole lot. We basically only did them because the school said every class had to.

When class ended, I opened my eyes again. The other students were all headed out and my hallucinations had faded. A couple random kids with names I didn't know told me that if I needed to talk, they were here for me. That was nice. At least when they saw me in distress, they were compassionate enough to offer their time. Time was really valuable.

Dr. Adam Wilson grabbed his labcoat and packed it away in a box. Then, he took something out of his desk drawer. It was a velvety red jewelry case. He brought it over to me and I took it with an unsure look.

"You bought me jewelry?" I wasn't really the jewelry type.

He chuckled. "Not exactly what you're thinking, but sort of." It was weird how he knew what I was thinking. Although, Jeanette said that according to some psychological 16 personalities stuff, Dr. Wilson and I were both the same type. We processed information in the same ways, but what we did with that information was different.

I opened the box. There, resting on a little red velvet pillow was a pin. It looked like an electric green colored alien head. Clearly, it was a callback to when I first took his class and was convinced he was an alien.

I took it out of the box and pinned it to my jacket. "I love it." I said with a wide grin.

"I'm going to miss our frequent talks." He said, walking away to peel the last poster off the wall.

"Me too." I sniffled again, stuffing the red velvet pin container in my backpack. "Thanks for giving me something to remember you by."

His eyes twinkled. "It glows in the dark too." He winked.

I looked down at the shiny alien pin on my jacket. "Of course it does."

He taped up the last box. "Well, that's the last of it. Is there anything else you'd like to tell me before I go?"

I could feel the tears coming again. I blinked them back. "Thank you for helping me fry my brain."

"You're gonna do amazing things, kiddo." He waved at me. "It's been a pleasure having you in class."

I got to the door and then the tears started again. A pleasure to have in class? No one had EVER said that about me before. And now, the one person who did WAS LEAVING! It was too much. I couldn't take this! Not on the day report cards come home!

I took a few deep breaths to steady myself. I needed to get prepped for that doctor's appointment. I needed to not tell Dave any of this until after the doctor. I couldn't stress him out more. I could tell he was worried about me. Everyone was worried about me.

I walked out to Dave's car and the first thing he said as soon as he saw me was... "What happened to your pants?"

I frowned. "Nice to see you too, Dave."

"Alvin, answer the question." He opened the passenger side door.

"Fine. Fine." I gestured to my "ruined" jeans. "Just a little, you know, mishap in art class. It's not like I don't have a dozen pairs of these. What's the big deal?"

"I buy you nice things and you find a way to wreck them." My dad was clearly upset. Maybe he's had a bad day at work. Yeah. That's it. It couldn't just be my jeans.

"I like them better this way." I said, striking a model-esque pose.

He groaned. "Get in the car."

I jumped up into the passenger seat and hurled my backpack into the backseat.

"That's not going to rub off on the seats, is it?"

I touched the paint splatters to check. "No. They're dry."

"So how was school today, aside from the art class mishap?" Dave asked.

I buckled myself in. "I don't want to talk about it."

"That's a nice pin. Where'd you get it?" He was really fishing for a conversation.

"I don't want to talk about it." I repeated.

His face grew increasingly concerned. "You didn't steal it, did you?"

I glared at him. "No."

He sighed in relief. "Good good. Well, uh, do you want to listen to some music?"

"Sure." I turned on the radio to the station that played 80s music.

"You like this station?" He raised an eyebrow as he shifted the car in gear.

I nodded. "It's a fun variety."

"This is the kind of music I listened to when I was a kid." Dave smiled.

I rolled my eyes. "You're ruining this, David."

"Sorry. Sorry. Let's just….listen." My dad turned up the radio as George Michael's song Faith blasted out of it.

"You gotta have faith faith faith

You gotta have faith faith faith

Baby."

"We covered this once, didn't we?" I asked.

Dave shrugged. "You've covered so much that I've lost track. Maybe you did."

I leaned back in the seat and let the music sweep me away.

Not long later, we were at the concussion specialist that Dr. Goodwin referred us to. She was going to be there too. I guess she wanted to see how well I was doing, typical fangirl stuff. As I was sitting in the waiting room, I had to fill out a questionnaire about how I was feeling. They were checking for any lingering concussion symptoms. I answered it truthfully, which was a mistake, but I didn't realize that at the time.

"Good to see you, Alvin." Dr. Goodwin greeted me.

"Hey." I handed her the questionnaire and her eyebrows raised as she looked over the results.

Another doctor entered the room. He had curly black hair, dark skin, and a green jacket. He looked friendly. I liked it when doctors looked friendly. "How're you doing little guy?"

Urgh. He called me little guy. I hate it when people bring my size into things. I get it. I'm short. I'm small. I'm (EWWW) petite. "I'm alright." I lied. I was very much not alright.

Dave took a seat and looked worried. "He says he's alright, but I'm not sure what's going on with him. He's been…different."

"TBI can do that to a person." The guy in the green jacket pointed to his name tag. "I'm Dr. Walters. I specialize in neurological conditions brought on by traumatic brain injuries."

Great. His name started with a W too. Now I was thinking about Dr. Wilson, who I might never see face to face again. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. "I…" I started to say before the blabbermouth Walters dude cut me off.

"Tell me, son. Have you been experiencing any of the following? Headaches, fatigue, balance issues, difficulties focusing, lapses in memory, heightened anxiety, or mood swings?" He was a real motormouth. He could give me competition, if I was feeling chatty.

I let out a dry laugh. "All of the above."

He gasped. "I had no idea it was that serious. Dr. Goodwin said your scan seemed fine."

"That's just it. He seemed fine on the outside, but I noticed minor areas of damage and he seems to be getting more and more stressed with each checkup." Dr. G explained. "We have no idea what's going on in there."

I decided to tell them why I said what I said. "Oh, I had all of those things BEFORE the concussion. They're symptoms of my ADHD. Which, I've had my entire life. Even back before Dave adopted me."

Both doctors looked to Dave who nodded. "But that doesn't explain how drastically his personality has changed lately."

"My personality is…." Oh man, maybe it had changed more than I felt it had. More than I wanted it to. "What…What do you mean my personality changed?"

"You've been less impulsive, more agreeable, you've even started doing your chores all the time….without being asked." My dad went on while both doctors frantically took notes.

"Alvin, have you experienced any shifts in cognitive functioning?" Dr. Walters pressed me.

I clenched my jaw. "I became a genius out of nowhere. Just like my brother Simon." I admitted. "But that was before the soccer ball hit me too."

"Strange." Dr. Goodwin remarked.

"I think I can explain the personality shift." I said, standing up on the bed thingie in the doctor's office. "I've been TRYING to be more mature. My friend Jeanette is helping me. She's taught me how to be less impulsive. I just don't wanna hurt myself anymore. I've been in more hospitals than I can count. And her lessons, they are WORKING. So, yes, my personality isn't exactly the same as it was, but the concussion didn't cause that. I was working on myself before it happened."

"Oh thank goodness." Dave hugged me. "I was so worried you were falling apart mentally, but you're just growing up."

Well, dad, I am falling apart mentally too, but that's for Netta and I to deal with. I thought to myself.

"Hmmm." Dr. Goodwin studied the questionnaire. "But you wrote right here that you "don't know who you are anymore and if you're even still Alvin."

Drat! I knew my honesty would come back to haunt me. "You can ignore that." I said quickly.

"Ah, so we're dealing with ego death." Dr. Walters quipped. "Not what I'd expect from a famous rockstar."

"Yes. I'm very aware my ego died." I snapped. "That wasn't the concussion's fault either."

"Then what was it?" Dave and both doctors gathered around me.

"It was finding out I wasn't as popular as I thought. Okay? Are you happy? All it took to break me was that." I hung my head in shame. "I'm such a wimp."

"Alvin, why didn't you tell me?" My dad asked, looking even more worried. "I had no idea it hit you this hard. We all thought you were just getting carried away with your acting."

"Because it's stupid." I fumed. "It shattered my perception of who I was entirely." Then, Theo and Jeanette's words echoed in my head. Think positive. "But, but, on the positive side, it made me realize that I'd been living in a little bubble. When the bubble, you know, popped, I realized I had an entire world to explore. There's nothing I won't try now."

"Sweetheart." Dr. Goodwin sat down. "It's not stupid. Everyone has a different breaking point." She looked to Dr. Walters. "But we have a serious situation on our hands. You've lost your sense of self. And that, if left untreated, is a recipe for disaster."

"How do I find it again? What if I never find it again?" I was crying again now. I wanted so badly to rewind time and never go out to watch Britt at cheer practice that fateful day. I wished I could build a time machine like Doc Brown from Back to the Future, although I'm more of a Marty McFly type guy.

Dr. Walters wrote something else on a clipboard. "Therapy can help, but it's different for everyone."

"I'm in therapy." I said, brightening a bit. "Jeanette's giving me therapy."

"She's not a licensed therapist." Dave pointed out.

I glared at him. "So? She's something. She studies psychology. She's helping me. It IS therapy."

"Well, then I say, continue sessions with her. But if you find she can't help you, then we can get you another therapist with more experience." Dr. Walters smiled at me again.

I finally remembered the only reason I agreed to come to this crummy place. "What about sports?" I sniffled. "Since you know that all my problems are unrelated to the concussion…" Besides the physics visions, but shhhh! "Does that mean you can clear me to play sports again? And skateboard again? As long as I do it, you know, not recklessly?"

The two doctors and Dave got into a huddle. I nervously chewed my fingernails, wondering what the verdict would turn out to be.

"With everything we have learned today, I see no reason to…." Dr. Goodwin smiled. "continue discouraging you from sports. In fact, you could probably use the exercise. It might help perk you up."

I jumped up just a tiny bit. "It might help me find myself again."

"Here's hoping." Dr. Walters said tidying up the papers that were out of place from the force of my mini jump.

That night, on the ride home, Dave and I stopped at the taco place and I got a giant blue raspberry slushie to celebrate. I was still bummed about losing Dr. Wilson and scared that my unstable, half formed, shifting identity would be further eroded by the day. But there was a shining light gleaming from the end of that dark dark tunnel. I could play sports again! I'd truly be a part of the soccer team again, instead of an outsider trying to fit in. Eleanor would be so thrilled when I told her. I couldn't wait to see her face light up.

But, I'm Alvin Seville, things never work out for me for very long. I didn't realize it then, but Dr. Wilson leaving was just the tipping point. My life would be taking a turn for the absolute worst. In the next weeks, I would have my limits tested, my spirit broken, and I would come out of it truly and irrevocably transformed inside and out.

Chapter Text

LEARNING MORE LESSONS

Genius-Alvin's POV

The next morning, Theodore made himself a stack of fluffy pancakes for breakfast. Simon had some toast with grape jelly, and I made myself a bowl of oatmeal. (By which, I mean I just emptied a blueberries and cream oatmeal packet into the bowl and poured almond milk on it.) I know, I know, it's lazy, but warming it up is a whole extra step and I hate the gloppy texture of it anyway. It's so hard to get it a nice consistency.

"Are you going to warm that up?" Simon asked, looking at my oatmeal bowl.

I shook my head. "Why bother?"

"Uh, because it says on the package to put it in the microwave." He replied.

I rolled my eyes. "Stop policing my breakfast, bro."

"Hey!" Theo scolded us. "Don't start. It's too early for this."

I had the sudden impulse to take the spoon Simon was using to scoop the jelly and use it to flick a glob of jelly into his face. Stop. Remember your training. Think. Predict outcome. Evaluate the situation.

If I did that, Simon would surely be upset. He'd tell Dave what I did and then Dave would be upset. Yesterday, Dave almost, for a moment, understood my pain. But if I started acting out again, he might think that I'm slipping back into old habits…then he'd punish me and that would cause me more pain.

Classic Alvin's voice echoed in my mind once again. "So what? Simon deserves it!"

"No, Simon deserves to be respected. We want Simon to see us as a fellow intellectual." Nerdy Alvin's voice reminded me.

"No, we don't." Classic seemed very stuck in his ways. "That would mean we're as boring as him!"

I was trapped in the middle of their argument. I couldn't think.

"Not necessarily." Nerd me seemed convinced we'd only be half-nerdy and half cool. Half cool is better than no cool I guess.

"ALVIN!" Simon snapped his fingers in front of my face.

Theodore put down the pancake he was currently nibbling on. "You don't look so good."

"Huh? What? No, I'm fine." I rubbed my head. "Just another physics vision thing." I lied.

Theodore raised an eyebrow. "Didn't look like one."

"How can you tell?" I snapped, tail fur bristling.

"Well….you usually look happy with those." My brother in the kelly green long sleeved shirt said. Drat! Curse Theo's observation skills. "And you look panicked right now."

Simon grimaced. "I bet he's thinking about report cards again." He said. I detected a hint of empathy…or sympathy. Whichever one is right.

I hadn't been thinking about that. Now I was, and the oatmeal wasn't sitting so well in my stomach. "You guessed it." I lied again.

Am I a pathological liar? I need Jeanette to train that out of me too, don't I? I probably should be making a list, but then I'm just gonna lose the list, so what's the point?

"It's okay, Alvin. The important thing is that you try your best." Theodore went back to eating his pancakes.

"I always try my best!" I said adamantly. "Always. Look, I applied myself like CRAZY this time around. If I still fail, then I may have to face facts…"

"That you aren't truly a genius?" Simon squinted his eyes at me, studying me. Why is everyone studying me as I try to study everything?

I sighed "That I'm…..not ever going to succeed. I am unteachable."

"Whatever happens, you can just try again next marking period. Then, you have the whole summer to relax!" My baby bro responded.

"We can take a special trip anywhere you want." Simon got up from the counter and made himself a peach smoothie using the blender. Ah, the blender. A beautiful example of both electrical and mechanical energy in harmony.

While I was on yet another physics kick, I blurted out something else I'd been thinking. "I want to go to space camp."

Both my brothers stared at me. "You do?"

"Yeah. I found one of the photos of you guys there while I was cleaning the closet and I thought it looked pretty….awesome." I hated the way they looked at me. Making people's jaws drop was fun at first, but now that I wasn't sure who or what I was…I realized their jaws were dropping because they weren't sure either.

"To space camp?" Simon repeated, eyes wide.

Theodore gasped. "You cleaned the closet!?"

"I'm a new munk." I got out of the chair. "Would you like me to take your plates to the sink for you?"

Complete silence. My brothers were frozen in shock. I grabbed their plates and put them in the sink anyway.

Simon broke out of the trance first and ran over to me, jumping onto the kitchen countertop near the sink. "Space camp? Seriously? Space camp? What's your angle? What are you trying to prove?"

"I like space." I said, as I washed off the dishes. It was hard work and I hated every minute of it. I wished I had headphones to listen to as I was doing this.

"You teased me for MONTHS about space camp. You called Theo the Vomit Comet. You….You…You…." Simon couldn't work it out. He put his hands against the sides of his head, right above his ears.

I smiled. "That's all in the past now. Dr. Wilson taught me that space is fascinating." My chest hurt. The sadness came rushing on suddenly at the name of my former teacher.

"You still owe me an apology for the Vomit Comet thing. I only puked about five times. It's not fair to keep bringing that up." Theodore folded his arms and scowled.

"My deepest and sincerest regrets, Theodore." I said passionately. "I have seem the errors of my ways and I shall endeavor to correct them."

Simon took a step back from me, still trying to decode me like an enigma cipher. "Who are you?"

Ouch. Well, I figured he'd start to react like Britt eventually. People kept saying I changed a lot and now….now it was obvious I HAD. I wasn't so sure I liked all the changes either, but I liked some of them. "As soon as I have an answer, I'll tell you." I replied bitterly.

Luckily, before anything could get even more awkward, Dave came in holding three envelopes. Report cards had been delivered yesterday, but we'd all agreed to wait until this morning to open them.

"I can't believe I'm saying this. I'm excited to see your report card, Alvin." Our dad handed us each the envelopes with our names on them.

It felt like the envelope in front of me was a ticking time bomb. If I opened it and it was good news, then fine. But if it was bad news, it would just be MORE bad news added to the rest of the bad news lately.

I handed Dave the envelope back. "You do it, Dave!" I said in a panicked voice. "I can't! I just can't! I can't look!"

"I'll open mine first." Theodore tore the envelope and then showed us his card.

Theodore's Report Card

History-B

Math-C plus

English-B

Science-C plus

Gym-C

Writing-B minus

Home Economics-A

Drama-A

"Sensational job!" Simon high fived Theodore.

Dave patted his head. "You worked really hard."

I didn't say anything. I just gave a nod in agreement. I was happy for Theo.

"Okay, Simon?" Dave looked at his only child prodigy that had fully made use of his talents.

Simon looked annoyed. "I still cannot get an A in doctor Hayward's class."

"But it's a hard class." I pointed out. "I think you're doing great." I itched at my cheeks discreetly after I spoke. They were feeling more and more uncomfortable lately.

Dave gave Simon a hug. "It's a fantastic report card, Simon. All As or not."

"Yeah! You're the smartest…." Theodore started to say, before reconsidering. "I mean, uh, you're a smart cookie. You both are smart cookies." He looked at me.

Boy, I was warping our family dynamic out of shape. I was ruining everything. Such is my curse.

Simon's Report Card

History-A

Math-A

English-A

Science-A

Gym-A minus

Writing-A

Computer Science-B plus

Biology-A

I snuck a glance at the rest of Simon's grades. How come it was so easy for him to get As? What secret did he know that I didn't? Or was it a fundamental difference in our ability to memorize stuff that always dragged me down?

"Moment of truth." Dave held up my envelope.

I felt sweat dripping down my forehead. I'm the only chipmunk who sweats from everywhere. Everyone else only sweats from their hands and feet…like rodents should. I'm an anomaly.

I sucked in a breath. "I'm…ready." I was NOT ready.

Simon and Theodore climbed onto Dave's shoulders and looked at my report card.

"I don't believe it." Simon exclaimed.

My baby bro smiled. "This is AMAZING!"

"You did it." Dave looked concerned but also a little impressed. "You actually did it!"

I felt hope traveling through my nerves, calming the anxiety. "I did? It's not bad? None of them are bad?"

"One is." Simon had that "I don't know who you are but you're not my brother" look on his face. "The rest are outstanding."

I grabbed the report card. I had to see it for myself. I actually pushed myself enough to succeed? Wait, did that mean I had taken another step forward into nerdiness? Was it going to continue to sink its claws into me? No! Get out of my head. I'm only half nerd. I cannot fully transform. I won't let myself.

Alvin's Report Card

History- B minus

Math- B

English- B minus

Science- B

Gym- F

Art- B

Writing- B minus

Physics- B plus

"Wait…." This wasn't anything like the last progress report. "These Bs are mine?"

"They are!" Theo squealed.

Dave nodded. "You managed it. I'm not sure how, but you managed it." I wasn't sure how I managed it either. I felt stretched to the limits. There wasn't enough of me to go around. I didn't think I could keep this up every marking period, especially not without Dr. Wilson.

"Are we sure that isn't Brittany's report card?" Simon joked.

"Quiet, Si!" I snapped.

"I only ask because she usually gets straight Bs." My brother in blue, a different shade of blue than the cyan I was currently wearing, grabbed the report card back from me.

I felt my impulses take the wheel again and this time, I couldn't hold them back. "Ya gotta face facts, Si. I earned this! It was all me!" I leapt up from the table. "Ohoho! If you need me, I will BE in my room BEing awesome! Ohoho! Straight Bs!" Earning stuff felt a lot better than just being given stuff. Not that I usually was ever given stuff either.

"Well except for gym." Dave reminded me. Stop NAGGING, dad! Let me enjoy my moment of triumph without feeling like a screw up! Please! That's all I ask.

"STRAIGHT BS!" I repeated! Who cared about failing gym!? That gym grade was gonna skyrocket now that I could play sports again.

"BEcause when you BElieve in yourself, anything is possible." Theodore joined in with my pun humor.

Simon groaned. He was gonna have to get used to this. At least, until I figured out who I truly wanted to be. Maybe who I truly wanted to be WAS the wild rebel? But, this geeknerd thing is really workin' for me. Gah! Stop! Why do I have this compulsive urge to call myself a full nerd now? Where did that come from?

"Your head, dummy." The voice inside me squeaked. I think it wasn't classic. I couldn't tell for sure.

I went up to my room to finish getting ready for school. I couldn't wait to see Eleanor and brag, no, tell her, about how I was finally cleared for sports again! Finally! It felt like AGES since I played. I was worried I'd be rusty. Another new thought I'd never had before. What is happening to me?

I burst through the school doors and shouted at the top of my lungs. "Hey, guys! Guess who's officially back on the soccer team! And baseball too!" I expected a thunderous uproar and applause, but there was….nothing. Nobody noticed I said anything. Or, they did and they were ignoring me.

"Hello? I said…" I spotted a flash of minty green and yellow dash by. Eleanor! Yes! Hopefully I could talk to her! I started off in hot pursuit of her. "Eleanor!" I called out. "Eleanor, I gotta talk to ya!"

"Wow." She stopped running. "You actually saw me. The world must be coming to an end."

"Ha ha ha." I said sarcastically. "I saw a blur and that was it."

"Even with your new glasses?" She sassed me. Why is Eleanor always so full of sass.

"Whatever. The point is. The appointment went great! I'm allowed to play sports and skateboard again!" I grinned. "I'm BACK….sorta. Part back."

Her eyes lit up. "Oh sweet! We have been missin' you out there."

"I'll see you at practice!" I said jittery with excitement.

After Eleanor, I proceeded to go around telling everyone I could. I got a lot of mixed reactions. Some people didn't care. Some people were happy. Some people teased me because Theo blabbed around about my straight B report card. I would be mad at him, if he wasn't clearly proud of me and just sharing my tale of success with the school.

I received a text from Jeanette that was a bunch of random emojis. A book, a brain, the nerd face emoji, and a TV screen plus a question mark. I didn't know what to make of it, until my brain fed me some info it had forgotten and then suddenly remembered. She had mentioned TV factoring into our next lesson. If that was the case, then the book meant her psychology book, the brain was because lessons help me retrain my brain. What did the nerd emoji mean? GASP! Was that meant to be…me?

I took my phone out and snapped a selfie while forcing a smile. Then, I looked at the photo. Oof. Between my hipster glasses and buckteeth (which all chipmunks have) I was a dead ringer for the nerd emoji. Frightening! At least the emoji's glasses were black instead of red.

How do I respond to a cryptic text like this? Uhhhh. I sent [Looking forward to it.] and then added a checkmark emoji and a thumbs up emoji. She sent back a smiling kitty face. Awwww. I was enjoying this puzzling text a lot more than I thought. I guess I liked trying to decipher abstract and unclear clues. Chalk that up to my sudden IQ boost too.

I was totally into the learning through TV idea. I picked that stuff up faster than in books. Slides were also helpful, as physics class had taught me. But the best way to get me to retain information was a hands-on approach.

I'm rambling again. Uh, what's next? Well, I got through all my classes. Miss. Smith gave me the same "who are you really?" stares I'd been getting from my family. Creepy. I didn't focus much on the classes. In my mind, soccer and the lessons with Jeanette were more important. Plus, it was the start of a new marking period. I had plenty of time to get my grades up.

I hurried out to the soccer field dressed in my gym outfit. The red shirt with cyan trim on the sleeves and collar. Plus the big yellow A, obviously. Would never stop wearing that. My steps were springy. The physics visions were getting more and more manageable. Maybe I was just getting used to them.

Suddenly, I was called by Coach Dopkins, who looked…annoyed. "Seville!"

"Yes, sir?" I asked.

"Why didn't you do any of the assignments I gave you?" He put his hands on his hips. That guy is basically a drill sergeant. Very very intimidating.

"I…uh…wasn't feeling them." I answered honestly. "When it comes to sports, I prefer action."

He frowned. I watched the breeze ripple through his grey mustache. "Well, you better get your gym grade up or I'll be forced to cut you from the team."

"WHAT!?" I hadn't considered that. "Coach, I promise! I will do my best!"

"I still don't know why they told ya that ya couldn't play. Back in my day, if someone got hit on the head, they got right back in there. The only way to keep your skills sharp is with practice. Conditioning. We've been over this." He droned on.

"I understand." I replied.

Well, I was under a different kind of conditioning now. Brain conditioning. It aggravated me a ton that he thought my concussion was no big deal. I was beginning to understand why most nerdy people don't play sports. Maybe the stereotype had some truth to it? But I was still determined to break it.

I met up with my teammates and Eleanor, who was technically coach…even though Coach Dopkins name was coach. They rallied around me for a short time before we got out on the field.

"Alvin's back!"

"Hey, Alvin."

"Time to show us your stuff."

"Remember to keep your eye on the ball."

"Can you guys give him some space?" Eleanor grabbed me and whisked me over to her. "Alright, we'll start slow. I know you're bound to still be off your game."

That ol confidence kicked back in for a fleeting moment. "Ohoho! I think you underestimate me. I've never felt more ready for…"

The soccer ball came flying at me at 25 miles per hour. I positioned myself to kick it back to Eleanor and my foot connected with the ball….in the wrong location. The soccer ball zoomed sideways and hit a cone that was set up on the field.

"Oh come on!" Eleanor fumed. "I gave you an easy one."

"It won't happen again." I assured her. I chased the soccer ball down and kicked it back to her.

She kicked it to me and this time my foot actually hit it in the right place! It sailed through the air and Tracy intercepted it, bouncing it on her knee. "Nice one, Alvin."

We finished warming up and then the practice game started. I was doing great. I kept listening to my instincts! My body knew what to do and that left my brain to work on the angles, trajectory, and predicting the path the ball would take. I scored the first goal, then another, then another. I was giddy! I wasn't even thinking about how, if Dr. Wilson's class hadn't ended, I would be there.

Just as I was getting what may be considered overconfident, one of my teammates kicked a ball at me and it was headed directly for my head again, at least…I thought it was. It happened so fast I barely calculated it! Instead, I went into survival mode and did…the lamest thing. I dove to the ground with my hands covering my head. The ball bounced past me and then continued rolling, but the damage had been done.

"Okay, uh, you were doing good until that point." Eleanor came over to comfort me. She wasn't very comforting. "Can't do that at an official game. What happened?"

"I don't know." I fibbed. I knew exactly what happened. My body was now going to freak out any time the ball got close to my head. It was a new automatic reflex. I'd also calculated the force the ball would have hit me with had it hit me. Let's just say, it's a miracle I still have teeth.

We continued to play the game and I continued to do fairly well, except that every time the ball came too close to my head, I did the same stupid thing. I looked like a total scaredy cat. The effects of concussions that the doctors listed off played over and over like a record stuck on repeat. I was LUCKY to have suffered ONE side effect from 8 of them. Or two, if you count the hallucinations of Classic Alvin.

I'm supposed to be a risk taker, and suddenly I was the most careful guy on that field. The other players took notice. Bruce came over to share gatorade with me as I sat on the bench feeling sorry for myself. It wasn't that my athletic abilities were gone, but like EVERYTHING else they had changed. I didn't know how many more changes I could take.

"Maybe you weren't ready to come back yet." Bruce said, putting on his yellow hoodie.

I sighed. "Maybe…." I admitted. I wasn't sure the new PROTECT YOUR BRAIN reflex would go away at all, ever.

The dark skinned boy with the cool Batman T shirt under his hoodie handed me two bottles of gatorade. One was fruit punch flavored and the other was berry blast. "You thirsty? I didn't know what color you'd want now, so I got you both."

Tracy came over to join us. "Hey, Alvin, what's going on with you? You're so…."

"Different. I know." I sipped a bit from the red colored fruit punch gatorade.

"He's stressed to the max, yo." Daniel, a kid with floppy pink hair and a black tank top sat down on the bench next to me as well.

I could tell Tracy felt bad. I didn't remember the fateful day the soccer ball hit me well, but it was her kick that sent me flying into the goal. "Maybe you should try a different sport?" She said tenderly. "I hear ping pong is fun."

"I do enjoy golf and ping pong and billiards and badminton." I told the group. "But I'd miss soccer. Those things I listed don't have teams, they're just solo sports. One on one." I'm a, what did Jeanette say? Extrovert? Yeah! One on one feels hollow compared to team stuff for me. Although, it would mean less people who have to rely on my unreliable-ness.

Bruce gave me a sympathetic and reassuring smile. "But those sports still help you with your reaction time. Maybe you can play soccer with your family in the backyard too."

"But I like this team." I whined.

"Yeah, but, little dude, you're all….wimpified now. Sports are too rough for you." I wanted to give Daniel a nasty and deserved comeback for that, but I couldn't think of one. Even if I could, it was probably best I didn't.

I took a drink from the cyan colored berry blast gatorade. "I'm just…cautious."

"That concussion shook him up." Eleanor explained, appearing out of nowhere as she tends to do. "He's scared and rightfully so. He just needs more time."

More time wouldn't fix the fact that I HAD to protect my genius. If I lost it again, forever, I wouldn't survive. This was how I was now. This is how Jeanette had trained me. I WANTED this,….didn't I?

"Yeah. I need more time." I suddenly thought of a great idea. "Unless I play soccer with a helmet on!"

How had I come up with this? Simple really. I started worrying that my new cautiousness would affect my skateboarding. Then, I realized that it would not, I would just ALWAYS wear a helmet while skateboarding. Plus, if I'm being totally truthful, I'm BETTER at skateboarding than soccer. I'm less likely to injure myself, you know, statistically. Surprise. I love statistics now. Maybe that's not a surprise? I dunno.

"That could work…." Tracy began, before Coach Buttwipe marched back here to tell me what he thought of my newly acquired survival instinct.

"What was that, Seville?" Coach Dopkins barked angrily. "We don't duck and cover! This is soccer, not military training!" Ya coulda fooled me.

"Hey!" Eleanor was lifted into the air by Tracy so she could go nose to nose with the other Coach. "He's trying his best. Don't talk to him like that."

"I can't have my best player acting like a fragile little butterfly! It's Seville for cyin' out loud. He was a BEAST on the field before." My gym teacher has never been very nice to me, but calling me fragile hit HARD. It was true. I was fragile. It was like Simon said, my psyche had cracked, even pre-concussion. I was broken, but maybe over time my cracks and dents would fix themselves.

Eleanor didn't make my situation better. "He's not the Alvin you knew. And only I get to call him a wimp!"

"This is what happens when people get coddled." The angry man spat. "They lose their edge. The doctors coddled him and now look at the kid. He used to be a man."

"Munk actually." Eleanor corrected. "And he's still a manly munk." No, I wasn't.

"He's not a man. He's not even an athlete. If he wants to stay on the team, he might as well be a benchwarmer." Ouch ouch ouch. I hate this guy.

Eleanor was REALLY fired up now. "Listen here, maggot. You might be named Coach, but I am the real coach of this team. You're only here because the school forces us to have one adult chaperone. Don't you forget it." Her green eyes practically glowed. "Now, if you don't stop tearing Alvin to shreds, I will report you for bullying. And yes, I can do that to a teacher. You can only make fun of Alvin if you're his friend and you also respect him. Otherwise, you're no better than Derek Smalls." Oh man! Comparing him to the biggest bully in school. Wait, ELEANOR RESPECTS ME!? Since when?

Coach Dopkins looked at me and then backed away from Eleanor and Tracy. "Okay, okay, Alvin, uh, great try. Keep up the hard work and you'll get your mojo back." He said.

But he was wrong. I knew he was wrong. It might take years before I could make peace with putting myself at risk for another concussion. I would definitely be using my helmet idea at the next practice though.

I went to my locker and grabbed my cyan jacket. "Thanks for that, Ells." I said, knowing she was standing right beside me. I saw her mint and lavender shoes out of the corner of my eye.

"I mean it, ya know." She elbowed me gently in the rib. "That respect thing."

I kinda wished she wouldn't tease me, but I did tease her all the time. It made it even. "I hold a deep regard for you too, Eleanor." I told her, adjusting the alien pin on my jacket.

"I'm never gonna get used to your nerd talk." She looked creeped out. "Are you sure this is you from now on?"

I nodded. "I'll get better at controlling it, but….It's not going to stop. I used to mess up most longer words, and sometimes even short ones. I taught myself to say them correctly. I still can't spell 'em, but I can articulate like a pro!"

She touched my alien pin with her grabby hands. "That's a nice pin. Where'd you get it?"

"Dr. Wilson gave it to me before he…left." I felt the tears bubbling again and held them back with all my might.

"Oh shoot! We all forgot to warn you physics class was just two marking periods. Even if he hadn't left, you still couldn't take his class." The pigtailed girl looked sorry for me. Everyone was sorry for me. Being this pathetic is gonna take some getting used to.

And then, because life wasn't done feeding me to the metaphorical wolves, Brittany Miller came running toward me with her bubblegum pink lipstick covered lips stretched in an almost evil slasher smile. (At least, that was my interpretation of it.)

"I heard Dr. Wilson's leaving." She exclaimed. "Finally! Now he can stop poisoning your brain and everything can go back to the way it was."

I groaned. "He didn't poison my brain!" And I didn't need her usual blah blah blah stuff today.

"Theo said you think he zapped you and turned you into a genius. You told him that." Brittany squeaked.

Eleanor stepped aside to watch us bicker and likely film us so that she could show us what fireballs we were later.

I waved my hands theatrically at the pink clad Chipette. "Did it ever occur to you that Classic Alvin may have just had a very warped view of reality?" From numerous lessons with Jeanette, I had almost managed to stop feeling like my intelligence was artificial and the product of some alien. It was all me. It had to be. What other explanation was there? This increasing nerdiness stuff however, was still cause for alarm.

"What?" She rested a hand against the locker.

"No I don't" Inside my mindscape, Classic Alvin took offense to me being factual about his warped sense of reality.

Nerdy me shut him up. Thankfully. "Not your time to talk, pal."

Brittany scoffed. "Alvin, be serious."

I was more serious than I had EVER been before. "And another thing. Stop celebrating that Dr. Wilson is leaving. You have no idea how much he meant to me! He is the only teacher who truly understood me! Our connection was profound, unbreakable!" My voice caught in my throat. I was getting choked up again. "And him leaving HURTS! It cuts DEEP!"

"Sorry, sorry." The girl in the pink dress with sequins and ruffles almost made me forgive her, before doubling down on the pain. "I'm just excited that in a few days, you'll forget all about Dr. Winslow and the real Alvin will be back!"

I had to crush her. She deserved to know. My identity crisis was severe enough that hiding it would only make things worse. "No. Here's the thing, Britt. Dr. Wilson or no Dr. Wilson, the real Alvin might never be back. Congratulations, you were right. You feel superior now?" I sassed her.

"N….No." Heartbroken, Britt pursed her lips to hold back her own emotions.

"Daaaang." Eleanor laughed. "He just told you off."

"If you put that in our home movies collection, I will destroy you!" Brittany threatened her sister, trying to take Eleanor's phone.

"Chill, sis. Unlike you, I won't be sharing this with the internet. It's for my enjoyment only."

I knew I had to dip before things got ugly. Britt and Eleanor fight like me and Simon. "Uh, ladies, if you'll excuse me. I have more lessons and therapy to get to." I said, awkwardness present in every word.

"With Jeanette?" The pink diva asked, I thought I saw her eye twitch.

A dopey smile spread onto my face. "Who else?"

"He is down bad." Eleanor commented.

"Whoah whoah whoah! I don't have a crush on Jeanette!" I told them. It was entirely possible I was in denial. But, that's a worry I don't need to focus on right now!

"If you say so." The mint clad girl chided.

Brittany shuddered at the thought. "If he ever gets a crush on her, that's the moment he'll truly become Simon."

Not how it works. And irrelevant as I am NOT crushing on Netta. "Simon doesn't have a crush on her. He thought he did for like four days once, but not anymore." I explained. My watch beeped, alerting me that it was time to go. "Anyway, gotta blast…I mean…run." Dang it! I knew watching too much Jimmy Neutron would catch up with me.

I heard Brittany and Eleanor talking as I ran off.

"Who is he?" Brittany whimpered.

Eleanor chuckled. "I think he's Albert."

Was I? I mean, yes, because Albert was just me in disguise. I think, however, what Eleanor was implying was that I'm doomed to legally change my name to Albert or something because I'm on my way to losing my privilege to have the highly popular Alvin name. I wish I'd picked a better disguise name. Like Alistar or Allen. Both less nerdy than ALBERT. My obsession with being the next Einstein had gone too far. I needed to somehow keep that flourishing nerd side in check. But for now, I had lessons to get to.

ALVIN: My dearest Netta, the time has come once again for you to narrate.

JEANETTE: I'm so excited for this part.

ALVIN: Me too! It's so meta!

JEANETTE: You've grown so much in just these 6 stories. It's very odd going back and reliving it all over again.

ALVIN: Tell me about it. Also, I think I'm seeing now why Britt was so worried about me and why everyone was so worried about me. I understand what happened on a much deeper level now.

JEANETTE: I was worried about a lot of things, but whether or not you'd find yourself again was never one of them.

ALVIN: Well, I found about 80% of myself. 20% is still missing.

JEANETTE: Healing isn't always a perfect path. Anyway, on with the story!

Jeanette's POV

I didn't have anything to do after school today. I hadn't picked a new extracurricular activity yet. I took a ride around town on my bike instead, as I waited for Alvin's soccer practice to finish up. Earlier during the school day, I had sent him a text about our lessons and he told me he would be there for them. At least, it seemed like he did.

I've never been the best texter. I usually never know exactly how to say what I want to say, so I send strings of emojis. Sometimes people understand them, sometimes they don't. I've been trying to work on my non-verbal communication skills, but volunteer work at the animal shelter had taken top priority. I love it there so much. I especially love working with the kittens.

"SQUEAK!" Pippi the adorable white mouse alerted me to a bump in the sidewalk ahead. She was riding inside the basket on the front of my bike. Most people had trouble understanding her, but I could feel what she was trying to tell me. I was connected to her emotions as easily as my own. Her squeak roughly translated to. "Watch out! Danger ahead!"

I slowed down and then jumped off my bike and wheeled it over the bump. It was a fairly large bump. The two sidewalk pieces weren't level with each other. Hitting it, would have likely caused Pippi and I to wipe out. I had enough scrapes and bruises on my legs from my general clumsiness, so this was something I wished to avoid.

I patted Pippi's head and her little nose twitched. "Thank you." I squeaked. "Where should we go now?" I still had time before I had to pick up Zeela, my emotionally intelligent robot, from Miss. Miller. Mom was babysitting her while I was at school.

Pippi shrugged her tiny shoulders and I swung my foot over the seat and remounted my bike. I love my bike so much. I also love my helmet. It's purple, you could have guessed that, right? with these adorable black bug antennas on it. It is weird, but so am I. People always call me a weirdo. I have reclaimed the insult and I say "Weirdo power!"

Where to bike next? Oh! I had a lovely idea. I traveled down the sideway and turned the corner. There was a bridge not too far from here, where I would go to watch the sunset. It wasn't close to sunset time, it was still afternoon, but I wanted to see the sights there and see how they compared during the day. I needed inspiration for my next landscape painting. Ms. Kate, the art teacher, is really into landscapes right now.

I biked across the street and pedaled up to the bridge. There was a special bike path built on this bridge so that I didn't have to watch for cars that might run me over. I was extremely thankful for that.

Pippi's ears flapped in the breeze as I picked up speed and reached the middle of the bridge. I dismounted the bike again and let Pippi scamper out of the bike basket and up my arm.

We both looked out at the view from our spot on the bridge. It was tremendous! The trees were such a beautiful shade of green. The sun was high in the sky. The sky was a medium blue, a few palette steps lighter than Simon's shirt. The clouds were fluffy cumulus ones with almost a sparkle to them. Hard to believe condensed water vapor could look so pretty, but it's true.

"It looks nice!" Pippi said to me, though her lips never moved. I could sense it in her expression and her body language. Something I can only do for animals. The body language of humans, and also my family and the Chipmunks, can be very tricky to read most times. I feel they're too subtle. Animals besides us don't have the need to hide what they're feeling either. If you ask me, we picked up that trait from our human halves. At least, most of us did. I was the odd one out in that respect.

I petted Pippi because she likes it and petting soft things has always calmed me down. Fidgeting also helps calm me down. I have a whole collection of fidget toys at home. Putty, slimes, spinners, fidget cubes, rubix cubes, and something called a tangle, which is made up of tiny pieces shaped like macaroni that can be snapped together to form a wormlike twisty object.

All my fidget toys are purple, except the rubix cube, which is rainbow colored. I just love the color purple so much. (The actual color, not to be confused with the movie The Color Purple. Although, I do enjoy the movie and novel and I feel that the subject matter discussed within it is important to know. We don't want history to repeat itself. We, as a society, must try our darndest to stop the racism and sexism especially toward people of color.)

Tangent aside, I feel like I am drawn to shades of purple because they make me feel calm and serene. I feel my best when I'm calm and serene. I enjoy the clarity of thought, although thinking about all the horrific things that happened in history and the downright disgusting things that certain people still say and do today is a big mood killer.

Whenever my thoughts are clearest, that stuff tends to come in and remind me I should be doing more to help everyone. To change the world for the better, eliminate the violence and bigotry. I'm just one tiny chipmunk-mutant though. While I can make a small impact on some things, it'll take a lot more than just me to re-configure the minds and bodies of everyone on this planet into kinder and more understanding ones.

I think that's why I'm drawn to helping Alvin so much. If I can help him on the road to compassion and self betterment, then that proves that people can change drastically. It gives me hope that one day, more people could choose to improve themselves and widen their worldview. After all, Alvin is the last person that anyone would expect to WANT to better himself. I'm just tickled that he came to me and asked because I have always seen the intelligent, sweet, and helpful person inside him, even when nobody else could.

I must have gotten lost in my own head for a while, because when I finally snapped back to looking at the peaceful beauty of nature, my phone was ringing. My ringtone was the song called I Belong that I wrote when I was protecting the tree that our treehouse now resides in. But I guess that's not a very important fact to know.

Pippi was squeaking at me in a full on tizzy. Shaking my phone around and showing me the caller ID photo. It was a photo of my younger sister Eleanor, with a soccer ball in her hands.

Making haste, I took the phone from Pippi and answered it. "Hello, Eleanor."

"Hey, sis. Just called to let you know your psychology project is on his way." Eleanor joked. "Oh, and he's in a bad mood because soccer practice didn't go well."

Alvin was kind of my latest psychology project. I wanted to ask him before I started collecting the data, but Eleanor told me that would just freak him out. Plus, it would upset Brittany a lot that I was "using" Alvin to get my "psychology kicks." It wasn't like I planned to share any of this data publicly though. It was only for my use, to track his progress as he continued his journey.

I wasn't sure how to answer Eleanor, because I couldn't tell if she was joking or being serious. "I'll be home soon. Pippi and I were just getting some fresh air."

"Squeak squeak squeak." Pippi added, climbing up on my shoulder to chitter into the phone.

"Cool. Hey, uh, one more thing, Jeanette." I heard Eleanor sigh. "Can you try not to make him TOO cautious?"

There was such a thing as being too cautious? That was new information. "I'll try, yes." I didn't know how cautious was considered too cautious. "Anything else?"

"Nah. Just that. Anyway, I gotta go. I'll see you tonight." My sister hung up on me before I could finish my last sentence.

"See you….." And she was gone. I sighed. This was usual for Eleanor though. She wasn't one for long phone conversations. "….tonight."

I looked at Pippi as I pocketed my phone in my purple hooded sweatshirt. Pippi squirmed into the opposite pocket the phone had been in. She was tired of riding in the bike basket.

I got back on my bike and thought out loud to myself. "Everyone calls me odd, but Eleanor is quite peculiar too, don't ya think?"

"Squeak." My adopted mouse daughter agreed with me from inside my pocket.

I peddled away, off the bridge and crossed many sidewalks until I returned to my home. Well, technically my mom's house, but we live in the treehouse in her backyard so it's both our houses I think. I knocked on the door. Hopefully, Zeela had an enjoyable time with Miss. Miller. She usually does.

I fidgeted with my amethyst butterfly pendant while I waited for someone to answer the door. I love my pendant. It's a big comfort item for me. I feel it helps me channel positive energy and spread that energy to everyone around me. That's what the magic crystal shop I ordered it from claims it does. It is just a theory, but I feel believing in something makes it possible.

I was getting worried now. Why was Miss. Miller taking so long to answer the door. I knocked again, louder this time. Finally, my mother opened the door and looked down at me.

"Hello, dear." Miss. Miller greeted me. "You're just in time. Zeela and I were baking some scones. She's such a good cook."

I smiled. "Eleanor taught her well."

"I make these." Zeela toddled over to me, holding a freshly baked plate of scones. Blueberry flavored! "Want to try one?"

"Absolutely." I grabbed a scone. I had almost taken a bite when I remembered that I hadn't asked if it had ingredients I wasn't keen on eating. "Wait, these don't have milk and eggs in them, do they?"

"Just almond milk, sweetheart." Miss. Miller smoothed out her wrinkled apron.

Zeela blinked her mechanical robot eyes. "I use your cookbook."

Awww! Perfect. My cookbook was a vegan recipes only one. I took a bite of the flaky pastry. "Mmmmm. Scrumptious."

"Maybe next time we can try those….uh….what were they called, Zeela?" My mom took a seat on her couch.

"Flaxseed bars!" The robot I carefully programmed squealed happily. Usually, she was very shy, but she seemed to really open up around her grandmother. It feels kind of weird being a "mom" when I'm still a kid myself, but like I mentioned previously, weird is wonderful.

Pippi snuck out of my pocket to nibble a scone too. We all chatted for a bit longer and then it was time to go.

"Thanks again for watching her, Miss. Miller." I told her as I held onto Zeela's hand and we walked out the door.

"Anytime, Jeanette. She's just lovely." My mom waved at me as I departed.

Zeela giggled. "I lovely. I lovely." She repeated.

Pippi jumped onto her sister's head, but Zeela didn't shake her off. They got along wonderfully, unlike the Seville cousins Warbie and Geizmo. I liked Geizmo a lot. Simon's robot child inspired me to build my own. When I asked him if I could, he gave me his blessing. Geizmo didn't like Zeela at first, but when a tragic accident struck her, he realized she wasn't as bad as he initially perceived. Now, they mostly get along.

Alvin rode up to us on his skateboard as we headed out. I noticed he was wearing his black helmet with the red spiked mohawk on top. Usually, he only wears that at the skatepark. When he's just on the sidewalk, he doesn't. Another sign he was changing. The lessons were working. He's much safer with it on. He values his personal safety now! Hooray!

"Netta!" He stepped on the board and flipped it up, catching it. "You ready?" A strange and in-decipher-able expression crossed his visage. "The text was about lessons, right?"

"It was." I smiled. "And I am."

"Hi, Alvie!" Zeela hid behind me with only her trapezoid shaped head poking out. Back to shy mode. Understandable.

Alvin put a hand on his hip. "No, no, Zee-Zee. Come on! We've been over this. It's AL-VIN. Say it with me now, AL-VIN. Don't say Alvie! Only Britt says Alvie and I don't even like it when she does!"

"Alvie!" My robot daughter giggled.

Alvin looked up at the sky. He does that quite often. So does Simon. I have no idea what they look at in the sky or on the ceiling. Perhaps they like to watch the clouds too.

It didn't take long for Alvin, Pippi, Zeela, and I to get all situated inside the living room in our treehouse. I fluffed the pillows to make the couch extra cozy. Alvin seemed very distracted, but I had a fantastic idea. During his quest to win the most improved award, he had figured out fidgeting made him more likely to pay attention and understand things.

I got up from the couch and brought out my fidget toys. I set them down in front of the TV. "Before we get started, would you like a fidget?"

"You collect slime and putty too?" He questioned. "I thought it was just me. The stuff reminds me of aliens, after all."

I nodded. "I like to make my own slimes too, but Brittany hates the mess it makes, so I can't do it often." I winked. "And it reminds me of slug slime and snail slime."

"Got any amorphous blobs in red or cyan?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows. I didn't catch what the wiggle meant, but I guessed he was interested.

"Not yet." I squeaked. "But I can add them to your reward list."

"Reward list prize!" Zeela said, sitting next to Alvin by using her extendable legs to make it to the couch. "Fun fun."

Pippi pushed a box into the living room where Alvin could see it. That reminded me…

"Oh, and I got you another reward list prize too!" I flipped the box around so he could see the toy inside it. "Look!"

"NO WAY!" Alvin gasped. "NETTA, YOU ARE AWESOME! THANK YOU!" He lunged at me to grab the box.

"No no. no." I held the box behind my back. "Not yet. Sit down, and I will explain."

He immediately sat on the floor in front of the couch. Pippi jumped onto an end table and also took a seat. Zeela stayed comfortably seated on the couch, hugging a pillow to her shiny metal chest.

Once everyone seemed mostly attentive, I took the toy out of the box and held it in the air. "This motorcycle is going to be your prize once you feel you've improved to the point where you're happy with who you are again." I told Alvin calmly. It was the same red toy motorcycle he and Warbie had been looking at during one of our earlier lessons.

Alvin took the rainbow colored rubix cube from the fidget box and started to twist it around as he listened to me. "Aw man. That could take ages."

"I don't think it'll take as long as you expect." I encouraged him. "You've already made so much progress."

"So I get the small prizes first, then work my way up to the motorcycle?" He asked.

"Yes yes!" Zeela clapped her hands. "Then you and Warbie play!"

Alvin looked content with that. The more I spent time with him, the easier he was to read. Usually anyway. "Awesome! Awesome! Oh, hey, before I forget, What's today's word of the day?"

The word of the day thing was another fun addition to the lesson. It turns out that Alvin loved expanding his vocabulary just as much as I did. Every time we met up, which was at least three times each week, I would teach him a new word. Occasionally, it would be a word he was already familiar with. Most of them were brand new to him though.

I told him today's vocab word. "Stupendous."

"I have heard that before. What does it mean, exactly?" The red capped boy asked, still twisting the rubix cube.

"Awesome, basically." I explained.

His crystal blue eyes widened. "Really? I thought it meant stupid! I guess the art teacher wasn't trying to insult my art!"

The poor thing thought the art teacher was insulting his art? How awful. "No! Of course not! She would never." Ms. Kate didn't have a mean bone in her body.

"Phew. Great to know." Alvin squeaked. "Cuz I like that word. It gives my brain the tingles." He talked about the brain tingles a lot. I tried to recall if my brain ever tingled. I don't think it did.

I infodumped more about the word. "According to the official dictionary definition, it means impressive."

Alvin closed his eyes. "Stupendous….Stupendous….Yeah…really diggin' it." He opened his eyes again. "What's next?"

"I promised you TV, and I shall deliver." I said with a friendly grin.

"Educational TV!" Zeela added, patting Alvin's arm.

Alvin got up from the floor and sat back on the couch, twisting the rubix cube in his paws faster.

I took out the DVDs with home movies that Eleanor had made for us. I selected some of them where Alvin's breaking rules and succumbing to his impulses. "We're going to start with some videos of your, uh, less well behaved moments. Then, you're going to take notes and analyze how you could have reacted differently. To finish, you'll read your notes over and over until you lock everything in. We'll repeat this process for about…three videos."

He frowned. "How long are these videos?"

"Only eleven minutes a piece. The length of a Johnny Test episode. Simon tells me you love that show." I turned on the TV.

The first video we watched featured Alvin hiring Kevin as his assistant and then making him do his chores and help him with things he could easily do himself. When Kevin got tired of being a servant and became Dave's assistant instead, Alvin sabotaged him. It was emotionally intense. Alvin covered his eyes during some parts, but he took the notes.

When the video ended, I paused the playback. "Now, have you analyzed how you could have approached that situation differently?"

It took Alvin a while to respond. He read over the notes and I could see his eyes darting about. He tapped his forehead with his pointer finger. "Uhhhh…"

"Take your time." I took some intergalactic purple putty from the fidget box and played with it as I waited for him to respond.

Suddenly, his ears twitched, his blue eyes sparkled. Had he finally gotten everything processed? "I could have actually let Kevin help me with music stuff instead of homework and chores. It wasn't what he signed up for. And I definitely should not have sabotaged him after he started working with Dave. That was really uncool of me."

Pippi and Zeela both gave him a round of applause. He'd done it! He was on the path to correcting his behavior! I was so proud of him.

"You got it! Oh, Alvin, you're doing well so far! Ready for the next video?" I asked.

He nodded with a gulp. Why was he gulping? Was he scared of the videos? Why was he scared of the videos? "I'm ready as I'll ever be."

The next mini home movie we watched featured Alvin trying to get out of going to the Smithsonian after Simon got to choose their family trip. He caused a ton of trouble around school so that Simon, who was the school safety inspector, would write him a citation. Dave told them that if anyone got in trouble, the trip was off, so Alvin purposely tried to get in trouble. He tested Simon to the breaking point.

Alvin slumped down on the couch as he took notes for this one. When it finished, he was able to respond faster than he had last time. "I shouldn't have messed with Simon like that. If I didn't want to go to the museum, which I DIDN'T back then, I should have just asked Dave if I could stay somewhere else while he took Simon and Theo. Instead, I acted out and almost got both me and Simon in trouble." He frowned. "Was I really that bad, Jeanette?"

I sat on the couch beside him and Zeela and I both gave him a warm and comforting embrace. "You were younger then. Everyone makes mistakes when they're younger. And growth isn't always a linear path either. You weren't that bad ALL the time, just….sometimes."

He looked down at his notes. "I didn't even remember that. The Kevin one was more recent, but like….The Smithsonian trip was AGES ago. It felt like I was watching a different person." He sniffled and then shook it off. "People say I've changed. I'm only beginning to understand how much."

I let Alvin lean his head on my shoulder. "He wasn't a different person. He was just you with less life experience."

"But he FEELS like a different person. Everyone treats me like I'm not ME anymore. Except you." He sighed. "And then they all wonder why I'm starting to get all mixed up. I don't know who I am. I don't know who I want to be. I'm just….always confused and I HATE IT!"

Zeela handed him a tissue. "Dry eyes, Alvie." She said gently.

Alvin dried his eyes and then blew his nose into the tissue. "The weirdest thing about all this, is, I didn't FEEL like I changed that much until Britt straight up said I wasn't Alvin. Then, it was like….I dunno…I just don't know. I know science and math and how to be a good kid, but I don't know my personality. Do I even HAVE a personality anymore?"

"Of course you do. You're just healing from a lot of traumatic events. You can build yourself up again." I stroked the fur on his hand. "I'll be there every step of the way."

"You're an awesome friend. I don't know what I'd do without you. I already lost Dr. Wilson and now I'm afraid of losing you." He slumped his shoulders.

"I'm not going anywhere." I brushed his hair out of his eyes. "I promise. I'll always be a text away."

He smiled through his tears. "You're the best, Netta. The best friend a guy could ask for."

"Would you like to get through the last video?" I asked. "Or save it for another time."

"I can handle one more video." He squeaked. "But only one. Hey, how does Eleanor film all these home movies anyway?"

I didn't know how to answer that. "She says it's not important and not to ask questions."

He chuckled. "Yup. Sounds like Eleanor."

We watched the next video. It featured Theodore making a beautiful patchwork vest for Dave and Alvin wanting to take credit for it. Then, Alvin, Simon, and Dave plotted to destroy Theo's present because they thought it was ugly. I felt so bad for Theodore. It was a wonderful vest for a beginner.

"What's the lesson here?" I asked, once the video had ended.

Alvin worked through this one a bit more and then said his interpretation of it. "That Dave shouldn't have tried to destroy something Theo worked so hard on. Si and I shouldn't have helped him. The vest was still garbage though, I mean, look at it! I don't blame Dave one bit for not wanting to wear it."

I slapped my face with my hand. He'd done so well on the last two videos. "You only got half of that right. And you also missed that you shouldn't have tried to take credit for Theo's gift just because you didn't have an idea for a gift."

"I'm sorry. This is getting boring now. I'm tired. Plus, like, that was at the start of the video and I barely remember it. My memory is Swiss cheese. Hence, the constant studying so my brain won't, you know, delete everything." He explained in a huff. "Just tell me what the part I got wrong was."

I sighed. Luckily, my patience with him had only waned a little. I could still be gentle and tender. He needed that. "You said Theo's vest was garbage."

"It was!" He insisted.

I shook my head. "Only to people who can't appreciate its inner beauty."

He looked at the ceiling again. "Inner beauty? Please! Jeanette, I know when stuff is good looking or not."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." I picked up that phrase from a book. "What is hideous to one person, might be someone else's masterpiece. Things are more than the way they look."

"Right. Yeah. Uh…." He grabbed his notepad. "Better write that down before it slips out of my ears or somethin'."

"Some people say I'm ugly." I admitted, hoping this would make everything click. "They say I dress sloppy, that my hair is a mess, that I look dorky and I need a makeover."

He stared at me. "What? But you're not ugly at all! You're as gorgeous as Britt!"

I smiled. "Exactly."

"I don't get…." He started to say, before the lightbulb moment happened at last. "Ohhhh! I do get it! There's no standard for attractiveness, is there? It's ALL subjective and based on personal preference."

I handed him a package of gummy fruit snacks. "Yes! Yes! That's it! Well done, Alvin. I am so proud of you!"

"I proud too." Zeela echoed my sentiment.

He gobbled up the fruit snacks. "Learning stuff is so fun. I can't believe I have been missin' out for years." He scrunched his nose adorably. "Although, it's not that I don't learn things. It's just that…whatever I do, some stuff won't stick."

I had a sudden revelation. I remembered reading about ADHD in my psychology book. "I've got it! I know why you have trouble learning lessons!" I exclaimed.

My loudness woke Pippi, who gave me an angry squeak and then went back to her slumber all curled in a ball on the end table.

Alvin looked as excited as I did. "Really?"

I nodded. "Your brain takes in a TON of information, more than most people do, and instead of converting the short term memories to long term ones, your short term memory gets all plugged up." I reasoned.

"Yeah, that's kinda what it feels like." He said. "It's clogged like a hose." He adjusted his red glasses.

I launched into more of the explanation. "So then, in order to unclog it, your brain just dumps anything it deems irrelevant information. Most of what you learn, never makes it to long term memory. Then you learn it again and wonder why it feels familiar if you can't remember it."

He jumped off the couch. "And that's why I read something and only pick up bits and pieces of what it's trying to tell me."

"Precisely! Oh, Alvin, this is great! This means we can teach you to slow down when taking in new information. Instead of trying to shove in as much as fast as possible, you can focus on what you need to know a little at a time!" I stood up.

We both danced around. It was so good having a better idea of how to make the lessons actually stick!

Alvin stopped dancing. I guess our victory was short-lived. "What about the whole "suddenly inaccessible long term memory" problem?"

I stopped in mid shimmie and then fell over. "What?"

Alvin helped me back to my feet. "I have that too. It's like, at random times, I go to reach for something I know is part of my long term memory, but it isn't there. Then, it comes back like three hours later. And it's like, HEY! Where were ya when I needed ya?"

I groaned, frowning. Just when I thought we were finally getting somewhere, he threw another twist at me. "Let's focus on one problem at a time, Alvin. Okay? If we do too much, you'll burn out." I warned him.

He nodded and then grabbed another package of fruit snacks from the end table. "Right. Right. Okay, so….how do I practice slowing down my information intake?"

"We'll work on that the next time we get together." I said, patting his back. "You've worked yourself plenty today." I also needed to think about how exactly I would slow down the information intake. I could…play the videos slowly? No, no, that would be very creepy.

"Yeah. I have. I am gonna get home and zap some galactic invaders." He strutted to the door. I assumed he meant "play a videogame."

"A stupendous decision." I smiled.

"Hey!" He said angrily, before changing his tune. "Oh, wait, right, that means awesome." He smiled a cute half smile. "Totally gonna remember that. I swear!"

"Impressive." I corrected. "It means impressive."

He was already out the door. Then, he came back in to say something he'd forgotten. "Thanks again for all your help, Netta." He ran out the door again chanting to himself. "Stupendous means awesome. Stupendous means awesome. Cuz like impressive means awesome, which means stupendous means awesome."

What an oddball. I liked Alvin a lot. I liked all the Seville brothers, but there was just something about Alvin that made us get along like two peas in a pod. Theo and I were also really great friends as well, as we were both not quite certified family therapists. Simon and I had the most common interests, but Simon was more standoffish and very hard to get to open up. I didn't feel the same level of connection with him that I did with his brothers. But I accepted that Simon is a private person, much like Eleanor. He'll open up eventually, when he's ready.

The rest of the night, Zeela, Pippi, and I watched episodes of Tangled The Series (all about Rapunzel!) and relaxed our minds from the session with Alvin. We were one tiny little family. It felt good to have time with them. It always did. It was almost like being alone, as we were all pretty quiet when together. I valued alone time. Time to recharge and get myself ready for whatever challenges should arise tomorrow.

JEANETTE: Alvin, you wanna add the ending?

ALVIN: We could just move that into the next chapter.

JEANETTE: You're procrastinating again.

ALVIN: It hurts to write it!

JEANETTE: I know, I know, but it'll be okay.

ALVIN: (sighs) Yeah. I'll do it.

Genius-Alvin's POV

After leaving Jeanette's place, I played videogames and then ate dinner with my family. It was still awkward. Every family dinner would be from now on I feared. My self betterment had driven a wedge between me and my family. Things would never be how they were before. It was all my fault.

That night, I had more crazy nightmares. I saw Brittany crying as she looked at old pictures of me. I re-lived memories from those videos Jeanette showed me. Classic Alvin berated me relentlessly for being a kid who likes museums now. Eleanor and Britt called me Albert. Miss. Smith turned into a giant and stomped on the school after she saw me get an A on a science test. Dave yelled at me to stop wasting my brain on videogames and apply myself. It was just a mess.

What hurt the worst of all was when Simon walked up to me holding my straight B report card and said. "This is solid proof you aren't Alvin anymore."

"Yes! I am! I might look different and act different, but Jeanette says…" I replied, before Britt cut me off.

She swooped in with devil horns and a forked tail. "You have to stop listening to Jeanette!" The pink Chipette grabbed me and shook me.

Coach Dopkins' angry face appeared. "You're a pansy, Seville!" He growled.

Eleanor then came in and kicked his butt.

That didn't stop it though. Everybody swirled around and around until they were just random colors and disembodied voices, yelling, screaming.

"Embrace the nerdiness." Jeanette's kind gentle tone said.

"No! You can't be a nerd!" Classic shouted.

"Just give up being Alvin already." That was Simon's voice.

"You're a glitch, an accident, a mistake." I couldn't place the person who said that.

"Be whoever you want to be." Was that Theo? Or still Jeanette?

"I don't know who I want to be!" I screamed. "Leave me ALONE! Get out of my head!"

"You need to get a grip." Brittany's voice echoed. "I think you're losing it."

"Ahhhhhh!" I jolted out of bed as the alarm sounded, letting us know it was time to get up. I really HATED my nightmares. Why couldn't I have good and non anxiety provoking dreams?

I put on my glasses and dragged myself to the bathroom to get ready for another day in this miserable life. I ran into the bathroom, took a shower to wash off the icky feelings I was having, dried off, and got dressed. I was feeling slightly less ick now, until I did my usual routine of looking in the mirror.

I flipped my hair back and smiled a winning smile, rubbing my hand across the surface since the shower had fogged it up. I expected my usual geeky reflection. Instead, I was met with an even GEEKIER looking one.

All over my beautiful face were little red bumps of all different sizes. It looked like acne! But it COULDN'T be! "What the? Oh no! No! No! No! No! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! HIS HAS TO BE A NIGHTMARE! PLEASE, LET THIS BE A NIGHTMARE!" I was really hoping I was still trapped in a nightmare. So, I pinched myself. Wide awake. WHAT WAS GOING ON!?

Dear old dad heard my shouting and came to check on me. "Alvin, what's wrong?"

I ran to the door and slammed it. "Dave, do not come in here!" I yelled.

"Why not? What is going on?" My dad wasn't gonna leave.

I opened the door a crack. "Can chipmunks get zits?" I whispered.

"What?" Dave was baffled.

"You know, um...pimples? Acne?" I whispered again.

Dave tried to push the door open more. "I don't think so."

I held him back. If Simon and Theo saw me like this, they wouldn't be able to resist making fun of me. "Uh huh, well, tell that to my face."

"Alvin," Dave's patience was thinning, fast. "Tell me what is going on with you!"

I sighed. "I think I might have entered my awkward teen years that people talk about." I admitted.

"Open the door." He commanded.
I gasped. "No! I don't want anyone to see me like this!"

He tried to be patient once more. "Alvin, please open the door!"

I caved to his orders and opened the door, staring at Dave with an expression of pure terror. "Please tell me these will go away!" I sobbed.

"Uh,..yes. Eventually." He entered the room.

I hugged myself in my plush cyan jacket. "How soon?"

"Alvin, having acne is nothing to be ashamed about. Every teenager gets it." He sat down beside me.

No! Something just didn't add up! "But I'm a CHIPMUNK! I'm not a human teen! Technically, I'm not even a chipmunk teen." I was a 9 year old kid, who only went to high school because it was possible that mutant chipmunks have a shorter lifespan than humans.

"Didn't Simon say your DNA was 50% human?" Dave reminded me.

I spotted Simon and Theo walking past the bathroom. "Quick, Dave! Close the door! Before they…" Too late, they were inside now. "Come in." I groaned.

It began immediately. Simon looked at me in shock. "Alvin? What happened to your face?"

"That's what I wanna know!" I paced the floor.

Theodore held back a giggle. "You look like you have chickenpox."

"Make that chipmunkpox!" Simon joked.

Theodore high fived him. Dave didn't say a thing. I think he was still wondering what to do.

This was getting on my already frayed nerves. "THAT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!"

"Not from where you're standing." Simon remarked.

"I don't think you look that bad. Just, you know, a little silly." Theodore squeaked. "You look like a pizza."

I growled, my throat rumbling with irritation.

"So, why did you get chipmunkpox?" My little brother continued, brown eyes staring at me.

"I think they're pimples, Theodore. Lots of people get them." Dave explained.

Simon rubbed his chin, as he usually did while deep in thought. "This makes no sense. The rest of us don't have acne…"

"Stop saying that!" I shouted. "IT"S NOT ACNE! It's NOT! It can't be!"

To my utter amazement, Simon agreed with me. "I don't think it's acne either. Dave, you might wanna take Alvin to the doctor. This could be an allergic reaction."

"Like when I got all allergic to Brittany's flowers?" Theo looked scared. I remembered Britt's flowers had landed him in the hospital. That's why you should never buy illegal flower bulbs online, people. Honestly, Britt makes the dumbest decisions.

My tallest bro nodded. "Yeah. Chipmunks, even mutant humanoid ones, shouldn't get acne. I bet my money it's an allergy of some kind."

I didn't want to end up back in the hospital. What had I done that could have triggered my allergy? Wait a sec! That's it! The answer was so SIMPLE! "Oh my gosh! I always knew I was allergic to chores!"

Simon facepalmed. He probably thought I was nuts, but I wasn't.

Dave scooped me up in his arms after standing up. "Alvin, let's go. We have to get you to the doctor. Now!"

I was babbling because my superior genius brain had come up with the source of my allergy before any of them. "This makes so much sense!" I insisted, focusing on being right instead of how marred my formerly attractive face was. "To think...all that time I spent claiming I was allergic to chores...and I find out it's true! I really am!"

"I hope your allergy can get better, Alvin." Theodore told me sweetly.

Simon snapped his fingers. "I bet it was aggravated by you scratching at your face."

"I'm sure we can get you all sorted out." Dave carried me downstairs and we grabbed a couple granola bars to eat in the car.

Then, it was off to the doctor. Something crazy was going on with me. I was starting to think Britt may have been onto something when she said that I would slowly turn more and more into a stereotype. I'd fought it, but the changes were happening regardless now. I had a feeling the universe wanted me to learn something from all this. I only wish I knew what it was. I'm sure it'll come to me.

Alvin and Jeanette's texts!

Chapter Text

CH...CH...CH...CHANGES 

Genius-Alvin's POV

A rash? I had a rash! A really bad one that showed right through my fur! What was next? More nerdy changes? Shoot! I should really look up stereotypical nerds on TV Tropes to prepare myself for what's next. This is absolutely CRAZY! What did I do to deserve such ROTTEN luck!?

Dave and I reached the clinic located in our small town and another doctor, boy I was seeing a LOT of doctors, examined me. He had swept back blonde hair and tan skin and big ears. His name was, uhhh, oh oh! Dr. Peters. That's it.

As the doctor looked at my sudden rash, Dave watched, looking worried. At least my dad was worried about me. I knew he cared.

I was getting impatient. I wanted to know how to fix this. "So, um...Doc, do you know what's wrong with me?" I asked.
He tapped his chin. "Well, it's not a serious allergic reaction."

GULP! "It's not...? So what is it?" I squeaked, feeling so anxious I was getting dizzy.

"Is it just a usual teenage thing?" Dave asked, sitting in the chair in the office.

I frowned. "Please don't say "yes." I begged.

Luckily, Dr. Peters said nothing of a sort. "Also, no."

"Phew." I breathed a sigh of relief.

Dave looked puzzled. "So, what is it?"

I started scratching at the blemishes on my face. More specifically, the ones high on my cheeks close to my nose. They itched! They hurt! They were so annoying! I wanted to pull them off of me!

Dr. Peters stopped me. "Don't do that. It'll just make it worse."

"But they itch!" I moaned.

The blonde haired guy sighed. "Yes, but you have claws, little guy. If you scratch them with claws, you might cause scarring."

"SCARRING!?" I immediately took my hands away from my cheeks. I could NOT wind up with a face full of permanent acne-like scars.

Dr. Peters looked at Dave. "Your son's breakout seems to be a facial rash of some kind." He reported. No DUH!

"Oh no!" I moaned, reaching up to scratch my cheeks again with my weirdly retractable chipmunk claws. "Is it gonna spread? Is my whole body gonna be covered in chipmunk pox?" I caught what was happening and I put my hands down. No scratching. No scratching. Gotta remember not to scratch.

"It shouldn't." The Doc said.

Dave grabbed my arms to stop me from scratching the blemishes more. "What could have caused the rash, doctor?"

The Doctor looked at his clipboard. "Has Alvin been under a lot of stress lately?"

"Getting that straight B report card was REALLY stressful." I explained.

To my amazement, Dave agreed! "Actually, yes. He's placed a lot of stress on himself."

I started to sob. Why was I such a crybaby lately? "I was trying to be a perfect kid! Please don't abandon me in the desert, Dave! I can change! I really can!" I blubbered.

"What? Alvin, I would never even think about doing that." My dad responded tenderly.

Well, that's not what my nightmares said. Maybe I should stop believing everything in my dreams is reality. Although, my dreams are easier to remember than reality. That's probably a bad sign, right?

I blinked my tears away. "R..Really? Even though I screw up everything?"

"Of course!" My father exclaimed. "I love you the way you are. You don't have to be perfect."

I felt the tears welling up again. "But...don't you want a perfect son?"

"Alvin, doing all those chores for me really helped out, but you forgot to set aside enough free time for yourself." Dave patted my shoulder.

I groaned. "I know. I guess I just wasn't cut out to be a good kid." I admitted.

Dave shook his head. "You can STILL be a good kid. Maybe help out doing chores sometimes, but not all the time."

Oh? My all or nothing mentality was wrong? "So, once a month?" I asked.

"Alvin." My dad was stern.

Drat! I was hoping that would work! "So, like maybe once a week?" I tried another approach.

"Alvin!" Dave was getting more and more mad.

"Once or twice a day?" Hopefully, he'd be okay with this suggestion.

The doctor watched our interactions the entire time and looked confused.

Dave liked my last idea. "Yes, that would be nice. You'd be helpful, but not too helpful." SCORE! That worked for me.

"You got it, Daverino." I jumped off the table. "So, is there any, like, medicine, or pills, or a face cream or something that will make me look handsome again?" I asked Dr. Peters.

The man shook his head and held his clipboard tightly. "I'm afraid there's nothing I can use to treat it." I sensed he was lying.

"But, there's got to be a way to bring my beautiful face back!" I shouted, pointing at the rash.

The doctor actually had the nerve to chuckle at me. "Relax. There is. Just have fun and try to keep your stress levels to a minimum. Do whatever makes you feel good, and the rash should clear up in a couple of days, a week tops."

"Ohoho! YES!" I danced around. Finally, some good news.

"I think you made him very happy, doctor." Dave picked me up. "Come on, Alvin. Let's go home."

On the car ride home, I was ecstatic. I couldn't believe it! I finally had a way to get out of doing a bunch of chores! I had a GOOD excuse to slack off and have fun. I MISSED fun! I wonder how far my new perks could extend. Ohoho! Time to test it out.

"Hey, Dave, can we stop and get some ice cream?" I fidgeted with my seatbelt.

"Alvin, I have to get home and check on your brothers." My dad said, his eyes fixed on the road.
I crossed my arms and put on my best pouty face. "Just sayin, Ice cream would really help lower my stress levels."

My dad groaned. "Fine."

He swung by Cold Stone Creamery and got me a small dish of blue moon ice cream with gummy bears. Ohoho! I could get used to this.

I spent a full weekend doing whatever I wanted, which included skateboarding, ping pong, tree climbing, playing guitar, playing loads of videogames, drawing a new comic, and singing my favorite tunes. Unfortunately, even after all these Classic Alviny activities, my rash was still there. In fact, it was even worse. Some of the blemishy dots were growing! There was only one thing to do, because I was NOT going to school looking like this.

I sent Brittany a text. It was probably the first I'd sent her in ages. [I need some concealer. Can you send it over on the zipline?]

[What for?] She asked back.

What would Classic Alvin say? [A prank.] I typed.

[What color do you need? Dave's skin tone?] Brittany replied.

I hoped she wouldn't figure out why I actually needed it. [Lighter. Like my complexion.]

I waited for a response. There was none. I paced around the room. I was NOT attending class looking like a pizza face. I may have lost my mind, but I refused to lose my looks.

"Oh my gosh." Brittany exclaimed, arriving on the zipline without warning. No! She was supposed to send ONLY the concealer over, not herself too! It's why Simon made a tiny case on the zipline for transporting items.

I covered my face with my hands. "It's not what it looks like."

"I warned you this would happen." She clicked her tongue as she observed me. "I didn't expect it to happen so fast."

Neither did I. I didn't expect it at all. "Simon thinks I'm all burned out. The doctor said I'm just super stressed." I explained. "They'll go away. I hope. But I need your concealer stuff! If I show up to school like this, everyone will know the nerdiness is spreading!"

"You need to go back to acting like you again." Brittany insisted. "There's still time to reverse this."

I felt my voice get tighter in my throat. "I spent the whole weekend acting like the old me! Nothing worked! I'm still stressed!

"Yeah, well, two days isn't much. Plus, you have to act like the old you at school too." She frowned. "And, uh, I don't have concealer. I've never needed it. I have flawless skin."

"WHAT!?" I fumed. "How am I supposed to act like Classic Alvin when I look like this?"

"You'll think of something." She walked uncomfortably close to me and then hugged me out of nowhere in a crushing bear hug. "You have to. Because the alternative is letting yourself become a full nerd."

"I don't want that." I squeaked.

"Exactly." She patted my hat.

So I tried my best to survive a day of school looking like this. I got a lot of strange looks as I skateboarded through the halls. The bullying was bad, but not as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, there was only one instance with Derek and his goons. Most other people felt sorry for me.

"Nice spots, zitface." Ray Ray shouted.

I ignored him and continued to skate through the hall. I could see a hot girl up ahead. I wanted to follow my Classic Alviny impulse and ask her out. Yeah, it didn't really work out that way.

"Why don't you get lost, geekazoid?" She said, beforeI could even ask her name.

I pointed to the giant A on my T-shirt. "I know I look weird, but I'm the same Alvin on the inside. I'm only slightly smarter and more mature." I claimed.

"The same? Ha! You can't expect anyone to believe that." She folded her arms.

"I can prove it!" I said, jumping off my skateboard and holding it proudly. "See? Same skateboard. If I were really a complete nerd, I would have lost that ability."

She looked down at me. "Sorry, still not interested."

By lunchtime, I was feeling like a wreck again. It didn't get better when I overheard my friends and family discussing me.

Simon nibbled some trail mix. "Jeanette basically did to Alvin exactly what she did to the villain from my videogame." He was saying.

Theodore tilted his head. "You mean Thornbagoober or something?"

"Thornbagough." Eleanor corrected him. "And yeah, she did. She took him, sanded down the rough edges and then cooked him til he was soft. And weak…and wimpy." I mean, she was right, but I didn't want to admit it.

"Eleanor!" Theo scolded his BFF.

The pigtailed Chipette shrugged it off. "What? He is!"

"He's weak and wimpy because he's still HEALING…FROM…TRAUMA!" Simon came to my defense.

I decided now would be a good time to join them. Clutching my lunchbox, I approached them awkwardly. "Are you guys talking about me?"

They all exchanged glances.

"Kinda." Eleanor mentioned. She cringed at my face. "Wow, is it me, or are those getting worse?"

"Worse." I admitted, taking my seat. I wanted to retreat to the library with Netta. No, that wasn't Classic Alvin thinking. "I've been checking them in the bathroom mirror between classes. They're spreading." There were like 26 when I first noticed them. Now, I was up to 58, in varying sizes. Most were still tiny, but there were 7 larger ones.

"Who knew getting better grades would result in this?" Simon commented.

I shot him a glare. "What do I doooo?" I moaned.

Brittany walked up to the table. She'd been sitting with the cheer squad, but she decided to pay us a visit for whatever reason. "Hey, guy…." She gasped when she saw me. "Oh no!"

"I must still be too stressed." I squeaked. "That's all these are." I tried to downplay how scared I was. "Just stress."

"Maybe your supercharged brain is making you really stressed." Theodore reasoned, eating a triple decker peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Maybe it's because you keep making dumb decisions." Simon suggested. "Like trying to do everyone's chores for them and still manage everything else on your schedule."

I slapped my hand on the table. "I was TRYING to improve."

"And look where it got you." Brittany pointed at my face.

Jeanette met up with us and shyly took her seat. I guess she got tired of the library. Feeling a rush of weird confidence, I moved to the other side of the table to sit next to her. Britt was NOT happy about that, but I could care less!

"I hate to be the one to suggest this, but you'd be better off if you went back to not caring if you were smart or not." Simon looked slightly disappointed. "You're not equipped to handle the dreaded gifted kid burnout."

"We're all smart." Eleanor declared.

Theodore frowned. "We are? I don't feel smart very much."

The blonde girl in the mint colored T shirt with a trophy on it, stood up on the cafeteria table. "I think that intelligence is a circle and being smart and dumb co-exist." We all looked lost. What was she babbling about? "Let me explain. "Theodore is pretty dumb, but also pretty smart."

"Hey!" Theo commented, looking annoyed.

Eleanor continued talking. "Brittany is averagely dumb, but also averagely smart. I'm also average in both ways."

Brittany scowled.

"Jeanette is super smart, but also super dumb. Alvin and Simon are both incredibly smart, which ALSO makes them incredibly dumb. I rest my case." Eleanor dropped her banana like it was a microphone used for a mic drop.

"Uh. I'm not so sure that's how it works." Simon remarked.

Theo took Eleanor's side. "I think she's onto something. Cuz sometimes I feel smart and sometimes I feel dumb. And, I was starting to feel smarter more until Alvin became smart too."

"Sorry my intellect is ruining all your lives." I said bitterly.

Brittany smirked. "It's also ruining your life."

Theodore nodded. "It's really weird. Alvin and Simon basically share a brain." He quipped.

The pink diva couldn't resist taking a jab at us. "Who has it right now?"

"Simon." My baby bro told her.

"We do not share a brain!" Simon and I both yelled at exactly the same time. That didn't really prove our point. Oh well.

Not much to report from the rest of lunch. I just kinda zoned out and got lost in my thoughts again. I was paranoid something else bad would happen to me soon. I could almost FEEL that something would.

After school, I donned my skateboard helmet and reported to the soccer field for practice. I was gonna make the best of this, and, well, as an added bonus, maybe the helmet would stop them from noticing my face.

"Seville! What's with the helmet?" Gosh dang it! Coach Dopkins again. Why couldn't I ever please that guy? He was harder to please than Dave, which was really saying something.

I puffed out my chest. "I'm protecting my head."

"Are you kidding me?" The adult man growled, he wanted to call me a wimp again, but he caught Eleanor giving him an evil eye stare.

I rapped my hand against the helmet on my head. "I won't play without it. So, if you want your best player back, then the helmet stays." I was extremely firm with the guy.

And it worked! The helmet fully cured my scaredy cat syndrome! I was unstoppable on the soccer field! I was back, for real this time! I scored 13 goals! A new record! My physics powers hadn't even kicked in to help me either! This was all just my natural skill!

When I got home, I couldn't help but boast about my soccer skills. I took my helmet off and put it in the downstairs closet with my brother's helmets. Then, I met up with my brothers and the Chipettes in the living room. Brittany needed to hear me boast. She needed to know that Alvin was still very much alive!

"Ohoho! Wasn't I amazing out there today, Eleanor?" I asked, racing into the room and skidding to a stop.

Eleanor was leaning on the arm of the couch. "He was, you guys, sports are his calling."

"Sports, music, videogames, skateboarding, and sci…" I stopped myself before I could say "science." I didn't want to break the illusion that I had found myself. I wanted them all to finally stop worrying.

Brittany barely looked relieved. "Good job, Alvin." She said, sounding emotionless.

I walked up to Jeanette, who was sorting through a box. It was full of the home movies she'd been playing for me during our lessons. "Ohhh." She groaned. "I can't find the one I'm looking for."

"Allow me to be of assistance." I offered, slipping into helpful nerd mode again without realizing it. "Which one are you looking for?"

"The one where you help me with the green energy contest." She squeaked timidly.

"Netta, you should really put some labels on these." I suggested, rooting in the box. "Because the descriptions of what happens are long winded. Then, you can move the descriptions to the inside of the case. Labels would make them a lot easier to find."

She smiled at me, midnight eyes glowing. "Good thinking."

"I would call this one Alvin's Assistant!" I held up two of the videos she showed me at my first video lesson. "And this one To Serve And Protect."

"What about this one?" She held up the 3rd video she'd shown me that day.

"Hmmm." I tapped my chin.

Theodore walked up to peer at the video. "How about The Gift?" He suggested.

"Nah, that's a stupid title." I replied. "I would call it A Vest To Impress."

"I thought The Gift was a nice title." Jeanette told Theodore sweetly. Then, she turned her eyes to me. "Alvin, what have I told you about calling other people's ideas stupid?" She pressed.

I sighed. "Not to." I looked at my youngest bro. "Sorry, Teddy boy."

I located the video she was searching for. "Aha! Found it!" I smiled at her. "I call this one Going Green."

I caught a glimpse of Brittany staring at me and Jeanette suspiciously. The girl in the pink cardigan looked angry and impatient as well. "Hello? Are we going to pick a game for game night or what?"

"Oh, sorry, yeah." Jeanette squeaked. "I just need to get these in order for Alvin's next lesson."

Brittany snuck up behind me and snatched me a minute later, pulling me into the hall. "What exactly does she teach you at these lessons?"

"Why do you want to know?" I asked, tilting my head.

My best friend's icey blue eyes looked sad. "Because I don't think you know what you signed up for. Like Eleanor said, she's making you too nice."

"So?" I shrugged.

"So, she's also clearly stressing you out. Look at your face!" She reminded me.

I'd almost forgotten about the itchy and bumpy tapestry under my fur. I didn't take kindly to being reminded. "My face is my fault. I dove too far into being a stellar student and paid the price. Jeanette had nothing to do with that. Why don't you mind your own business?"

"Alvin,.." Brittany grabbed my arm. "Tell me what she's teaching you."

"How to be a better guy, without losing my Alvin-ness." I explained. "That's basically it."

"Oh….okay." She didn't look so sure. "And you don't have romantic feelings for her, right?"

I shook my head. "She's just a friend. I swear. We get along well. That's all."

"Carry on then." She walked back toward the living room, where everyone was finally deciding on a game. "But, be careful."

I rolled my eyes. Why did everyone think Jeanette was ruining me? I WANTED her lessons. I asked for them. I wasn't forced. I wasn't putty in her hands.

"Anyone want to throw out ideas for a game here?" Eleanor asked, sounding impatient.

"I enjoy crazy 8s." Simon spoke out his game idea at a fairly quiet volume.

I felt the brain tingles again as I got an idea. "We could try a trivia contest!" I blurted out.

Four pairs of eyes stared at me in disbelief. Jeanette looked at me with an encouraging smile.

I covered my mouth with my hands. What kind of idea was that?

We wound up playing Candyland with Theo, and he totally won. I got stuck in the molasses swamp for like seven turns before drawing a red card to move again. My luck was not turning around. Theodore was really happy to have us all play the game though. He had been asking about it for ages. I was happy that he was happy. I guess some parts of Jeanette's lessons are sticking! Who woulda thunk it?

ALVIN: Brittany!

BRITTANY: I'm on it.

ALVIN: Good. I was going to ask Theo, but he's got a stomach ache from eating three enchiladas and one quesadilla.

BRITTANY: How does all that food even fit in his little body?

ALVIN: I dunno. It defies the laws of physics.

BRITTANY: Please don't mention physics.

ALVIN: I can't help it.

BRITTANY: Oh well. Was worth a try. On with the story.

Brittany's POV

After the game of Candyland was over, Eleanor and I returned home. Jeanette decided to stay longer and give Alvin another lesson that stripped more of his personality away. I needed to find a way to stop her. She meant well, really she did, but Alvin was basically like a puppy dog she was training. He would do anything she said! Plus, he didn't even realize it, but he kept staring at her with goo goo eyes. He was falling for her! I could see it!

I sighed as I talked to Eleanor, who was flipping through a cookbook on her bed. "Was he really as good at soccer practice as he said he was?" I questioned. I knew she would absolutely tell me the truth.

"Yeah, he was. A lot better than the last practice." She flipped onto her stomach and kicked her legs. "Why do you ask?"

I looked at a photo of Alvin in his red hoodie with his adorable smile and his eyes free from the clearly cursed glasses. "Do you think that he'll slowly start coming back? Now that his concussion is fully healed."

"I don't know, Britt." She answered, snapping the book closed. "Maybe. Maybe not. You can't break him out of this. He's gotta break out himself."

"He's already broken out." I gave a small giggle. "Gosh, I hate that I find that funny. But it is funny, isn't it? Narcissistic Alvin getting a hideous rash?"

"It's hilarious." She laughed.

My giggling faded. "But, what if it's a sign that he's…gone forever? That the nerd in him will win out in the end?"

"Again, nothin' we can do about it." Eleanor shrugged. "We gave him an intervention, we told him how we feel. Identity crises are tough to crack."

I sighed again. I wished Alvin had never set foot in Dr. Wilson's class. That was what changed him. Sure, the incident caused by me had played a small part in it, but Dr. Wilson was mostly to blame. He somehow took a kid who hated almost every school subject and turned him into an obsessive geeknerd.

And Jeanette was at fault too. She swooped in to help in her usual way while Alvin was confused and vulnerable. He'd jump headfirst into a snake pit if she told him to at this point. Although, she never would ask that. She's trying to knock the daredevil out of him. But how is she doing it?

To get my mind off things, I decided to re-organize our closet. That took a while. What else could I tidy? I dusted off the vanity. There! That should do it. After that, I moved on to making sure that the bookcase and nightstands were in order.

As I was cleaning up some papers that were sticking out from under Jeanette's bed, (she is super messy) I found a purple folder. It had a shiny gold label on it that read Operation: Hocus Focus. I knew I shouldn't look inside the folder, but Hocus Focus sounded like some sort of magic spell.

Oh my god! That's what Jeanette was doing! She put some kind of nerd transformation spell on Alvin! I didn't even need to open the folder to know that! THIS WAS BAD! How far along in the transformation was he? How much of the original Alvin remained? And, most importantly, could the spell be reversed?

I ran up to Eleanor and held out the purple folder. "Look what I found!" I exclaimed as quietly as possible. I didn't want anyone to overhear me.

"Hocus Focus?" My youngest sister read the label. "Huh?"

"This is Jeanette's lesson plan for Alvin." I said, my soft voice rising in alarm. "It's a magic spell. She's changing him with a spell."

Eleanor burst out laughing. "Hahaha. No way. Britt, we all know magic isn't real."

"Then explain his bad eyesight, the acne thing, his dictionary talk, and, most importantly, the fact that his idea of the perfect game for family game night was A TRIVIA CONTEST." I said, putting my hands on my hips.

The girl in the light mint green PJs with pink candy designs all over them, stopped laughing. I had finally gotten through to her. "It can't be true." Before I could stop her, she opened the folder.

I sat with her and looked inside. There were multiple papers with a bunch of brain training exercises written down. Notes in the margins of the pages said things like…

"He absorbs information better in small bits."

"Connect any math and science concepts to things he cares about."

"Try to boost his dopamine levels with Nerds candy and gummies."

"Allow him to recharge his brain with videogames."

"Remember to repeat lessons at least three times."

"Talk in a gentle and understanding voice."

"Reward him for good behavior."

Eleanor laughed. "This ain't no spell. This is just a collection of notes on How To Train Your Alvin."

"It's still bad news." I pointed out. "She's warping his personality and making him as smart as Simon. She thinks she's doing him a favor, but she's worsening the crisis."

My youngest sister closed the folder and shoved it back under Jeanette's bed. "Or maybe she isn't. He was awesome at practice today. He didn't call me names once. No cracks about how I was invisible either. Like it or not, sis, the world could use a nicer Alvin."

"But….but….but…" I sputtered.

I heard the door creak open downstairs. Jeanette had returned. I climbed into my bed and grabbed my laptop. I hoped I could make it look like I was writing on my blog and not snooping through my sister's private folder. Although, really Eleanor was the one that snooped. All I did was touch the thing.

"Hello, girls." Jeanette entered the bedroom with Pippi on her shoulder.

My youngest sister smiled, acting as innocent as I was. "How were the lessons? Did Alvin behave himself?"

"Oh yes! He did a spectacular job." She took off her round purple glasses and put them on her nightstand as she got into her bed. "He's now able to identify his biggest flaws and work on them."

"But I like Alvin with his flaws." I complained. I shut my laptop down and set it on my nightstand.

"Yeah, Jeanette." Eleanor added, taking her hair out of her signature ponytails for bed. "If you fix his flaws, he'll just develop a bunch of new ones."

"I'm not "fixing" them." She explained. I didn't really believe her. "I'm only helping him improve. Nobody can be flawless." She yawned. "Goodnight, girls."

"Goodnight." Eleanor seemed content with what Jeanette said.

"Night." I frowned as I turned out the lights in our bedroom. My rose shaped night light glowed brightly. It gave me just enough light to not be afraid of the dark.

Because I had other fears to worry about. Fears that were even more terrifying. I knew I was right and that Alvin was in danger. I didn't care how many people believed me. I would find a way to save him before he turned into Albert entirely. If I could, anyway.

During my sleep, I was haunted by an unusual nightmare. I'm not someone who gets nightmares often, so this really shook me up. The nightmare began with me, hanging out with Classic Alvin just like old times. We were at the arcade and he was betting me that he could beat my high score at that game where you have to throw a ball into like…these circle shaped things. You get tickets based on which part of the circle the ball lands in.

"Watch and learn, Brittany." He tossed a ball and hit the bullseye. It went into the middle hole of the target.

I swished my hips as I walked up to him. "Lucky shot."

"Nuh uh!" He said. "It was pure skill."

I tossed a ball and hit the middle hole too. "Guess I also have skill."

"I guess you do." He squeaked, adjusting his cap.

"Wanna see what other skills I have?" I asked, flicking my tail.

"Sure!" He grinned that obnoxious smirk I couldn't resist.

"I've always been told I'm the best kisser." I pressed my lips together and prepared to smooch him.

But, before I could, thunder rumbled! The arcade vanished and instead I was trapped in a haunted house wearing a glitter covered light pink witch costume. I tried to move my arms, but they were stuck. They had strings attached to them. I was a puppet! I was still able to turn my head if I really forced it. I saw Eleanor next to me, dressed in a teal colored witch costume. What was going on?

"Come here, Alvin." I heard Jeanette's voice beckon. She rode in on a broom stick with a black cat riding with her. Her witch outfit was a deep purple with black accents. It was much more ornate and detailed than either mine or Ellie's. I was actually jealous of it!

Classic Alvin looked freaked out when he caught sight of her. "J…Jeanette? What's going on?"

Jeanette's lips curled in an evil grin. "You're so adorable when you're confused. Now, hold still. This won't hurt a bit."

Alvin knew he was in trouble. He tried to run, but he was glued to the spot. "Oh no! No!"

I wanted to help him, but Eleanor and I were just puppets! We had no freedom to move either.

Jeanette landed and got off the broom. Her black cat walked over and brushed against Alvin's leg. "Struggling will only make this worse for you."

"W…What are y…you going to do to me?" Alvin stammered.

She laughed a tinkly fairy-like laugh. "I'm going to make you a new munk, of course."

"But...I don't wanna be a new munk!" He shouted.

"Don't worry. You'll enjoy it." She approached him as he struggled to get away, still glued to the spot.

Alvin looked horrified as the witchy girl's hands started to glow.

Jeanette reached out and touched him on the nose. Her touch was like a shockwave that pulsed out.

Alvin was free to move again. "Oh, yeah, that wasn't so bad." He touched her hands momentarily and then they started to dance around together.

Eleanor and I were forced to be backup dancers. I was very unhappy.

Jeanette began to sing as she danced with Alvin, who looked very comfortable with her. Moments before, he'd been scared out of his mind.

"I put a spell on you

And now you're mine

You can't stop the things I do

I ain't lyin'"

As Jeanette continued to sing, Alvin's shoes switched from his red converse to those awful tacky rainbow ones in a blast of purple light.

"It's been several years

Right down to the day

Now the witch is back

And there's heck to pay"

She danced around with Alvin some more and suddenly the red glasses appeared on his face with more purple light and some sparkles.

"I put a spell on you

And now you're mine!"

The cyan jacket appeared next, when Jeanette twirled him around. After which, the rash blistered all over his face again.

"I put a spell on you

And now you're gone"

She continued to gloat and sing, summoning a microphone in her hand.

Eleanor and I were forced to sing backup. Whoever was puppeting us, probably another spell of Jeanette's, wouldn't let us have much free will.

"Gone gone gone, so long!"

My lips were moving without my permission. I hated it!

"My whammy fell on you

And it was strong"

Jeanette kissed nerdified Alvin's cheek and he blushed.

"So strong, so strong, so strong!"

Eleanor and I sang and danced in the dreary haunted house. I wanted to throw up.

"Your wretched little lives

Have all been cursed

'Cause of all the witches working

I'm the worst"

The witchy girl in purple forced Alvin to follow her around like a lovesick little puppy dog. He looked happy. Too happy.

"I put a spell on you

And now you're mine"

She sent another flurry of purple sparkles at him and his hair went from perfectly combed to an unruly mess that stuck out everywhere. Einstein hair, Simon called it.

"Watch out! Watch out!

Watch out! Watch out!

She ain't lyin."

Eleanor and I continued to be forced to sing and dance against our will. I had to break these strings somehow.

"If you don't believe

You better get superstitious

Ask my sisters"

Jeanette floated into the air and did a flip. We were forced to follow her. Nerdy Alvin stared up at us, looking impressed.

"Ooh, she's vicious!"

I sang with Eleanor, who looked totally content backing up Jeanette.

"I put a spell on you...

I put a spell on you…"

Jeanette floated back down and started to dance more wildly with Alvin. Eleanor and I were once again forced to follow. And forced to join her as we circled Alvin and chanted at him.

"Ah say ento pi alpha mabi upendi

Ah say ento pi alpha mabi upendi

In comma coriyama

In comma coriyama

Hey, hey, high, high

Say bye-bye!

Bye bye!"

I finally felt the puppet strings give a little. I turned my head and started to chew myself free of the strings. Chipmunk teeth are pretty powerful. Finally, I was able to break free. Once one string had been chewed, they all dissolved.

I wasted no time grabbing my Alvie and bashing through the door of the Haunted house. Alvin still looked sort of dazed. I couldn't worry about that. Surprisingly, Jeanette didn't follow us. She just stood on the front step of the house, holding and petting her black cat.

Once we were far enough away, I hugged Alvin close. "That was terrifying. I almost lost you."

"Yeah…" He broke away from the hug, nervously adjusting his glasses.

"Do you want to go back to the arcade? Pick up where we left off?" I wasn't sure how to do that, but I offered anyway.

It turned out not to matter. "Not particularly."

"Why not?" I touched his cheek and he pushed my hand away.

"I don't really fancy myself an arcade guy. I'm more of a museum and library guy." He backed away from me.

"No, no, come on, Alvin." I grabbed his arm. "You don't mean that."

He raised his eyebrow. "Who are you calling Alvin?"

I heard Jeanette let out a witchy cackle.

I felt small and helpless. "You. You ARE Alvin."

He shook his head. "Maybe I used to be. It's Albert now, Britt. I'm happy this way. Just let me be." He smiled. "Someday, I'm gonna be the biggest nerd in school."

I fainted and fell backward.

Then, I woke up. It felt so real, but now that I was awake, I could recognize that none of it had been. I still worried about Jeanette and Alvin together though. I knew in my heart that it wasn't good for him. But obviously, asking Jeanette to stop the lessons wasn't going to work. I was going to have to be craftier. Ironically, the person I really needed to help me come up with a plan, was Alvin himself. That option wouldn't work though. I was all on my own. I only hoped I could figure something out before another big change hit Alvin.

ALVIN: Hahahahaha

BRITTANY: You think my nightmare was FUNNY!?

ALVIN: Yes! Hysterical. Also twisted and creepy. I'm getting serious Halloween vibes! Where's the song from?

BRITTANY: Hocus Pocus.

ALVIN: Ohhhh! That explains why Jeanette's folder with the words Hocus Focus triggered it. Of course!

BRITTANY: Jeanette says dreams and nightmares often go heavy on symbolism.

ALVIN: That's true. Anyway, uh, back to my turn. Get ready for a time skip!

Genius Alvin's POV

I survived a few more brutal weeks of school. I was looking forward to that sweet sweet summer vacation. During this time, the rash on my face improved, and then got worse, then got better, and then worse again. It was definitely a stress rash because every time I was given a new multi-part assignment to complete, it flared BIGTIME.

Since everyone was already making fun of me for just being my odd and eccentric self, I decided not to waste my allowance money on concealer. I lived with the irritating rash in full view. Some of the other kids could empathize with me. They had bad acne, which was similar.

It felt like my life was on a downhill slide and there was nothing I could do to stop it. With Dr. Wilson's class gone, I still studied physics, but it wasn't the same. I missed being able to tell him all the cool new facts I learned. Simon was an outstanding brother, but he didn't GET me the way Dr. Wilson had.

There was one bright spot during all the yuckiness. I was still having weekly lessons with Jeanette. She had to cut them down to two days a week instead of three because she picked up more volunteer work, but it was really nice to see her and learn more ways to control my brain better.

I played a lot of sports in those weeks. Basketball, tennis, soccer, even some football. Eleanor was happy to have me back as a player. I also didn't do as many chores anymore! Dave didn't even bother me about doing them. That was awesome!

Plus, Simon, Netta, and I worked on a cool chemistry experiment. It didn't go the greatest. The important thing is that I tried.

"What does this do?" I asked, shaking around a glowing beaker of orange stuff.

Simon grabbed it from me. "Don't touch that!" He scolded. "The solution can be volatile."

"My bad." I pointed at another beaker, this time with purple liquid. "What does this one do?"

"It catches fire." Simon responded. Sounding annoyed.

I was glad I hadn't picked that one up. I scratched my head. "Dave lets you keep flammable stuff in the basement? You lucky duck!"

Jeanette helped Simon pour a few chemicals together in a test tube carefully.

"That should do it." The girl in the lilac colored labcoat said.

We all had labcoats. Simon's was cobalt blue, Jeanette's lilac, and mine was cyan colored. I'd made it myself specifically for being Simon's lab assistant. Predictably, that meant it was covered in a plethora of random doodles too.

"Stellar job, Jeanette." Simon got out his bunsen burner. "Now, we have to heat the solution to exactly 121 degrees fahrenheit."

"Why?" I asked.

Simon sighed. "As I already told you, FIFTEEN TIMES."

"I wasn't really paying attention." I admitted, with my usual awkwardness.

My little brother let out a huffy sigh. He both enjoyed and hated explaining things to me. "Because that is the temperature required to…"

"Set the mixture." Jeanette finished for him. "It makes sure the parts all stay combined together and don't separate back into their original parts."

I looked at the colorful swirly concoction in the beaker. "Oh yeah. Like fusion?"

"Well, not exactly like fusion." The Chipette explained. "But fairly close."

I leaned closer to the test tube that was sitting on the bunsen burner. "What happens if you heat the mixture too much? Does it explode?"

"Yes." Both chipmunks in their matching round glasses responded.

"Cool!" I blinked. I had startled myself. It was tough getting used to thinking science was cool. "Can I watch the thingie and make sure it doesn't overheat?"

Simon looked at Jeanette. I knew his first impulse was to say "Absolutely not." But he also knew that I was a far cry from the chipmunk I used to be, so maybe…

"Can you do it without getting distracted?" He asked finally.

I was giddy! "I think so."

He folded his arms. "I don't need an "I think so." I need you to be 100% certain."

"I'm 80% certain." Jeanette vouched for me.

I puffed out my chest proudly. "I've been practicing honing my ability to concentrate." I bragged. "It has improved dramatically."

Simon still looked unsure. "Well then. You may watch it while Jeanette and I mix up the next batch."

"What is this stuff anyway?" I asked, watching the test tube as Simon slotted it into the tray above the bunsen burner.

"A solution that helps plants grow faster." Jeanette said sweetly. "And helps the soil around them retain optimal growing conditions."

I got nervous. "So, uh, it's not gonna make another giant rampaging mutated venus fly trap, is it?"

"No. It won't." Simon seemed confident in that.

"Right right. So this is for a class project? Or just your free time?" I sure loved asking questions.

"Free time." Simon started to mix the next batch of chemicals with Jeanette.

The girl in purple was happy to explain in more detail than Simon. "I'm going to use it to revitalize some of the dying plants around the school."

"What a noble purpose." I said to her sweetly. I loved the way she cared about everything so deeply.

While I was daydreaming about Jeanette, the mixture started to bubble over. "Wha oh." I hoped that Simon and Jeanette hadn't noticed.

"Okay, Alvin, don't panic." The nerdy voice in my head said. "All you have to do is turn the heat down."

"No! Let it explode! It'll be funnier!" Classic me insisted.

The nerdy voice got sterner sounding. "And Simon will never trust him again."

"Who cares about silly science stuff?" Classic Alvin groaned.

What to do? What to do? Fighting the impulse and curiosity that compelled me to blow the sucker sky high, I turned the heat down. The solution was still bubbly, but everything looked thoroughly mixed.

"Here ya go." I handed the bubbly test tube to my brother.

He was NOT happy. "What did you do to it!?" He screamed at me.

"I did exactly what you said to do!" I shouted back.

"No! You didn't!" He held the tube as far away from himself as possible in his gloved hand.

The bubbly mixture bubbled more and then launched itself out of the tube and straight up onto the ceiling. It stuck fast, like a slimey blob.

"Oh come on!" I was annoyed now. "It was only two degrees hotter than it was supposed to be."

Jeanette backed away from both of us. "He tried his best, Simon. At least it didn't explode everywhere."

Simon's blue eyes narrowed. "I warned you multiple times that calculations NEED to be precise. Nothing can be even a tiny bit off, or it won't work."

"I'm sorry, bro." I threw my hands up. "What else do you want me to say?"

He rubbed his head. "Can you let Jeanette and I handle this? Please? Chemistry really isn't your thing. Just stick to physics."

"Oh…okay." I took off my labcoat and walked out of the lab. "I won't bother you guys anymore."

But I couldn't resist cupping my hand around my ear and eavesdropping to hear them talk about me.

"Simon, he was excited to help and you shut him down." Jeanette's soothing voice said.

My brother was still miffed. "These are potentially dangerous experiments! I can't have him messing around! Alvin and danger don't mix!"

"He can't learn anything if you keep yelling at him. Why do you think Dave's had a problem teaching him for years?" She asked softly.

"Look, Jeanette, I know you think you're some kind of psychology expert, but the truth is, some kids NEED to be yelled at or they don't ever understand or care about what you're trying to tell them." Simon argued. Geez, he should join the debate team or something.

"Alvin understands more than you think." I loved that Jeanette was sticking up for me. "He's come a long way."

"Yes he has." Simon scoffed. "Mainly because you've been bribing him with shiny new toys and candy! Can't you see? He's using you! He doesn't ACTUALLY care about self improvement. He only cares about the rewards."

"You're wrong." That was the last thing she said to him. They worked the rest of the time in awkward silence.

Was Simon right? Did I really only care about what Jeanette was teaching me because of the rewards? Well, no. I cared about the rewards, yes. I needed them to motivate me. I ALSO cared a lot about learning to be a better and less troublesome kid. I didn't WANT to be seen as a troublemaker anymore. Gosh, this was so frustrating. Why did my brother always assume the worst of me?

Another few days passed, during which I played videogames, watched TV, and got most of my homework done. I had more lessons with Jeanette. She gave me some Nerds candy, which I refused at first, fearing it would make me even nerdier.

"These have more sugar than the fruit snacks." The girl, in the purple sweater with the giant butterfly decal on it, told me. "I noticed that sugar seems to give you a boost. It's unhealthy, yes, but we are running out of options."

My brain was extremely stubborn to train. "But, Jeanette, they're NERDS! Can't you get me Lifesavers gummies or something? My life could REALLY use some saving." I itched at the rash on my cheeks without meaning to.

"They were on sale." She handed me a box of grape flavored purple Nerds candy. "Remember, trying new things is part of your therapy."

I still didn't want to try them, but her beautiful midnight eyes and kind smile were so persuasive! Curses! I reluctantly took the box and dumped a handful of the candy into my hand. "Ew. This looks like the stuff they fill fish tanks with, only purple." I complained. Aquarium gravel is what I meant, but I couldn't find the words.

She giggled. "I love how descriptive you are."

I looked at the pile of purple pebbles in my hand and then slowly brought the hand to my mouth. The second the candies hit my tongue, whichever part of my brain controls flavor interpretation just LIT UP! They were scrum-diddly-umptious! (As Ned Flanders from The Simpsons would say.) "WOWZA!" I squeaked, as I poured myself another handful. Then another.

Then, Jeanette swiped the tiny box back before I could empty it entirely. "That's enough to do the trick, I think."

I started to pace around the Chipettes' dining room table, rubbing the sleeves of my cyan jacket with the alien pin. "How long until it kicks in?" I asked.

Jeanette set the stack of homework I hadn't done yet on the table. "No idea. Shouldn't be long though."

My glowing cyan physics vision turned on again and I used it to measure all the angles I could find in the treehouse while I waited for the motivation to do my actual homework.

About fifteen minutes later, my brain started to get those tingles I was growing accustomed to. They were stronger than they'd ever been before, although they also get pretty strong when I have ice cream too, I think. "Netta!" I yelped. "I think it's working."

Suddenly, I was stimulated the perfect amount. Not so understimulated that I was bored. Not so overstimulated that I was freaking out. I suddenly had motivation for EVERYTHING! It was a darn shame I had to do homework first, but I was also really excited to work on it and see how focused I could be. Oh drat! The candy increased my nerdiness! There was no doubting that. At least it was only temporary.

"How do you feel?" She asked, making notes in her notebook, likely about how well this experiment was going.

"Stupendous!" I exclaimed, opening my math book and copying down the complex algebra problems that Miss. Smith assigned. Ohoho! Jeanette's hypothesis had been correct! The joy of it all almost made me want to start coming up with experiments on my own. Gasp! Did that mean I was turning into a scientist now too? Aw nuts!

But I didn't care. Classic Alvin never broke through to send me ideas. I was in full nerd brain mode and loving every second. For the first time in my life, I did my homework the way you're SUPPOSED to do it. I didn't jump from assignment to assignment randomly. I didn't have to plug music into my head. I just, did it! It went so fast!

I zipped through all the algebra problems and handed them to Jeanette so she could double check my calculations. While she did that, I read the next chapter of the book we were reading in English class. Catcher in the Rye was the title. Not my usual sort of read, but I not only understood it without having to re-read it a dozen times, I was able to complete a comprehension worksheet too.

No doubt about it, I was nerdified to the max. Even the history worksheet was sorta fun. I still hated the subject matter, but I made a game out of remembering the answers to questions. Finally, I knocked out my science worksheet which was all about biology stuff, which I hated just as much as history.

I handed everything to Jeanette. "That's everything except my acrostic poem for writing class." I declared. "How long did it take me?"

She stopped the stopwatch she'd used to keep track of my elapsed time. "Only one hour!" She revealed.

Ohoho! I could get used to this! I poured myself more Nerds candy and crunched it. "It usually takes me like 4 hours." I informed her. "And that's on a good day." Bad days take about 6 hours.

"I think it's safe to say we may have found you a method that actually works." Jeanette looked at the near empty box of candy in my hands. "I only wish it was a healthier method."

"Beggers can't be choosers." I stated, before finishing off the box of Nerds candy. I never wanted this feeling to end! I felt so calm! So productive! Yet, so speedy!

"I suppose not." She led me to the living room. "What would you like to do now?"

"Can we watch the Discovery channel?" I blurted out. "Or a documentary about a famous astrophysicist?" What? Why in the world did I suddenly want to watch TV that wasn't a sitcom or cartoon? The answer was simpler than I thought. I wanted to see if I could pay attention and learn from it while on a sugar rush. It was all part of the experiment.

"That sounds lovely." She flipped on the Discovery channel and we snuggled up on the couch listening to some guy talk about the possibility of opening a wormhole to another dimension. I managed to stay awake through half of it before passing out cold with my head on Jeanette's shoulder.

The Chipette in purple kindly shook me awake a while later. Her two sisters were home now and watching everything I was doing. Gulp!

"Thank you again, Netta." I said, standing up from the couch. My head and body were beginning to ache a bit, but I ignored the sensations. "You've saved my academic career." I felt my cheeks grow hot. It was true though, she did save my grades! She may have saved my face too! With less stress suffering through homework, surely the rash would clear up.

"I'd love to watch another documentary with you sometime." The kindest of the Miller sisters led me to the door.

"DOCUMENTARY!?" Brittany gasped. "YOU WATCHED A DOCUMENTARY?"

I nodded, still running on my new and much nerdier impulses. "Indubitably." I smiled. "I found it quite captivating."

"Okay, it's official." Eleanor said, looking creeped out. "We don't know who you are anymore."

I sighed sadly, realizing that since I consumed that candy, I'd been acting like a slightly more enthusiastic version of Simon. "That makes three of us." I said bitterly. How could I let the candy do that to me!? And more importantly, why was I starting to want more as the brain blasts were wearing off? I didn't need it to do more homework. I'd gotten all my homework done. Oh no!

The fallout of my candy binge happened the next morning. I woke up with a pounding headache and my limbs feeling like jelly. I could still think, but it was significantly harder than it had been. That was a good sign though! The candy that spiked my concentration hormones had worn off. I was back to having my usual brain chemistry again.

"Alvin, you don't look so good." Theodore said, waking me up to get ready for school.

"I'm okay." I fibbed, trying to ignore the pain. If this candy thing was a dangerous solution to my focusing problems, it wouldn't work in the long run. That meant I was pretty much back to the drawing board. Oh joy.

Another few days went by and I resumed my usual Classic Alvin stuff again, mainly skateboarding. I was doing some impressive tricks. I hadn't heard from Classic guy much, since the day I tried that new candy. I hoped he was alright. Gosh, he's fine. Don't worry. He's just a voice in your head. He can't actually die. He thinks he can, but he's mistaken.

Eleanor skated up on her shiny teal and mint colored board. She did a kick flip and then motioned for my attention.

Making sure my helmet was secure, I skated over to join her. "What's up, Ells?"

"We've got rehearsals today in like five minutes. Dave sent me to find you." She studied me with her green eyes. "You forgot, didn't you?"

"I was preoccupied with my skate tricks. I invented a brand new one! It's called the double-triple super duper flip! Wanna see it?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Maybe later. Right now, you have to pick a new song cover to release. You know how the music scene is. Gotta keep putting out content or people get bored."

"Right. Yeah." I stuck my hand in the pocket of my red jacket and kept the other hand on the board. I was wearing the red jacket with a yellow A pin and cyan shirt combo today. I felt more like the old me in it. It helped for skateboarding. I think anyway.

We started to walk home, but I got bored of walking and got back on my skateboard. Ellie did the same thing. Eventually, we met up with Brittany who was roller skating along the way. Her glittering pink skates shined as she tore down the sidewalk at top speed. 28 miles per hour, according to my physics powers, which activated as she almost slammed into me and knocked me off my skateboard. She missed me by mere inches.

"Hey!" I shouted. "Watch where you're going!"

She slowed her roll as she entered Dave's driveway. "I had the right of way."

"No you didn't." Eleanor said, pulling herself out of a bush in Miss. Miller's yard. Apparently Brittany had missed both me and Ells, but had startled her sister enough to make her fall off her skateboard.

Brittany took off her skates as she reached the end of the driveway. "It's so good to see you skateboarding again." She shouted to me.

I was confused. What does she mean? It had been like almost a month or more since I was cleared to skateboard and play sports again. I did this a LOT! How did she not notice? "I do this ALL the time!" I shouted, skating closer to her and popping an Ollie. (That means I lifted the front end of the board off the ground, temporarily.)

"I barely see you do it." She replied. Then, she looked at Eleanor. "Hey, can you grab me a pair of shoes? I don't want to get my socks dirty!"

"Maybe if you apologize for almost running me over!" The girl, in the seafoam colored striped shirt, fumed.

"Sorry!" Brittany waited patiently for Eleanor to bring her those gaudy pink ballerina flats with the giant bows on the toes.

We all gathered in the music room and Dave looked at me. I could tell he didn't know exactly what to ask or how to ask it.

I raised my hand and waved it around. Typical teacher's pet behavior. "Wanna hear my song idea for my solo?" I asked.

"If you've got it all ready." My dad said, taking a seat in his chair by the computer.

I grabbed the mic as Simon prepped the recording equipment. I prepared to sing a song I'd learned from a movie called Over The Moon. I watched it with Jeanette, because as we have established, I am a total nut for anything space themed. I'd been singing this song to myself on and off for days. It helped to boost my confidence! And I NEEDED a confidence boost!

I took a deep breath and introduced my song idea. "I will be singing Ultraluminary, as long as we can get the rights to, you know, cover it."

Brittany rolled her eyes. "That sounds like a science song."

"It's actually more of a space song." Jeanette squeaked.

I frowned. "Just let me sing it. Okay? It's really good! I promise."

Simon sighed. "Go for it, Alvin."

I closed my eyes and let the music channel itself through me. I was really glad my "seeing physics" ability didn't also let me see sound waves. That would have been super distracting. The ability as it was, distracted me plenty, hence, closing my eyes.

"You wish on me in my glitter light

First star you see tonight

So wish away, wish with all your might

Upon this radiant sight

The stars ignite

They flame from dust

Born out of gravity and force, they combust

And though they try in rivalry

They'll never shine bright as me

I'm the light every night in your world, hey

You revel in the glory of my beauty

You ready to watch me be legendary?

'Cause I'm ultraluminary

Whoa, welcome to lunaria

Whoa, so spectacularia

Whoa, super singulary

'Cause I'm so very, very

Extraordinaria

The cosmic shine of my fine display

Can turn the night to day

I hear they say that the Milky Way

Can't help but envy me

I am the brightest star

Superb, spectacular

It was a desert on the moon when we arrived

Gathering all of my tears, heartbreak and sighs

Jeanette made a potion ignite and turned the night

To a radiant city of light

From tears I rise

I riiiiiiiise

I'm the light every night in your world, hey

You revel in the glory of my beauty

You ready to watch me be legendary?

'Cause I'm ultraluminary

Whoa, welcome to lunaria

Whoa, so spectacularia

Whoa, super singulary

'Cause I'm so very, very

Extraordinaria."

I finished the song and opened my eyes. Everyone was staring at me. I couldn't tell if they were staring in a good way, or a bad way. "How was it?"

"Well…" Simon started to say. "It's a good song, but…"

"You were off key." Theodore told me.

OFF KEY!? OFF KEY!? I RARELY EVER GO OFF KEY! "What? I thought it sounded great." I started to panic internally.

"You were, uh, how do I put this?" Eleanor started to say.

Brittany finished for her. "Flat."

"Flatter than a pancake." Theodore added. "Maybe it's just that song?"

Dave nodded. "Yeah. It's probably not suited for your range."

"Try singing something else." Simon suggested. "Something that we know is in your range."

I was shaking now. My throat felt tight. I picked a song I couldn't possibly mess up and I tried that.

"Where is the moment we needed the most?

You kick up the leaves, and the magic is lost

They tell me your blue sky's faded to grey

They tell me your passion's gone away

And I don't need no carrying on"

This time, I heard how weirdly off it sounded. It wasn't too far off, just enough to be a problem for the LEAD SINGER OF A FAMOUS BAND! If I couldn't sing? Who was I? Not Alvin, that's for sure.

"'Cause you had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song, just to turn it around…"

"Okay, that's enough." Eleanor stopped me. "You're actually getting worse."

Jeanette looked down at her shoes.

"What's HAPPENING to me!?" I screamed, my voice cracking on the words.

Simon had his usual stone faced expression, hiding whatever emotion he was feeling. "You've been crying and screaming A LOT recently. I shouldn't need to tell you how bad that is for your vocal cords."

"You'd scream too if it was your life falling apart!" I shouted.

Dave rubbed his temples. "Alvin, that's enough. I'll figure something out. For now, you need to drink some lemon juice and rest your voice."

I couldn't believe this. All I wanted was to share a new favorite song of mine. I sat down as the others prepared to sing their solo songs. "I've lost everything that made me who I am. Everything! My looks, my voice, my brain, my talent!" I sobbed.

"And yet, somehow you're still annoying." Commented Eleanor. I sensed she meant it playfully. I wasn't in the mood for playful stuff.

Brittany looked at me with an expression that could only be described as crestfallen. (New word of the day I learned from Netta.) "I warned you about this." She said.

Theodore hugged me. "Don't worry, Alvin. You'll get your voice back when the stress goes away."

"Stress can cut down on vocal range." Simon reminded me.

"Y…Yeah." Jeanette added.

I left the room, not wanting to hear any of their amazing voices while my own failed me. Needless to say, I was pretty far down in the dumps. I sipped my lemon water and sighed. How could my life have taken such a turn so suddenly? What was causing all this? If I was doing this to myself, how could I fix it! I wanted to be awesome again.

My flawless singing voice didn't come back for more weeks. Dave and the management team lied and said I had laryngitis. Really, what I had was a bad case of Murphy's Law luck. Murphy's Law states that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. And that it usually does, at the worst possible times.

Hoping to regain that Alvin-like optimism, I played more sports. I played a game of ping pong with Theo and won. Then, I played golf against Brittany. I don't think she really enjoyed it. She was too busy worrying about me and my messed up life.

Then, another tragedy struck. It happened as I was skating along on the sidewalk beside Eleanor, minding my own business. Suddenly, my skateboard hit a stone and veered off course. It sent me crashing face first into a pole. Logically, I likely should have gotten another concussion, but by some strange miracle, I was fine. Except for one small thing.

"Oh my god." Eleanor picked me up off the ground. "Are you okay?"

"That depends." I touched my face, looking for any bumps…aside from the rash bumps. "How do I look?"

The blonde girl rolled her eyes. "Only you would be concerned about your appearance at a time like this."

I could taste blood. Uh oh. "Am I bleeding?"

"Your lip is." She cringed. "And you're going to need a dentist."

"Why?" I asked. "Did I lose a tooth?"

She walked me over to a store window. "You know what they say. A picture is worth 1,000 words."

I stared at my reflection in horror. The bleeding cut from my lip had already started to stop, but my two front teeth were crooked, and overlapping each other. "Nohohoho!" I wailed. MUNK YOU, MURPHY'S LAW!

You can probably guess what happened to me after that. I had to get, urgh! It pains me to even say it. BRACES! It was a horrific and traumatic experience. They had to have five dental assistants in the room to pin me down because I fought so much. Then, eventually, they had to SEDATE me with laughing gas to make me compliant.

When I woke up, my teeth felt heavier. They had metal attached to them. I thought they were only gonna do the top teeth, but they'd done my bottom teeth too. Just freakin' great. (Sarcasm) I questioned how braces were even going to correct the whole overlapping tooth situation. It seemed to defy the laws of physics. I was starting to notice a lot of things in this universe that seemed to defy physics.

When I was done being manhandled and forced into an even dorkier appearance, I walked out into the orthodontist's (that's basically an advanced dentist) office waiting room with Dave by my side.

Simon looked visibly worried. "So what's the verdict?"

"He got braces. The orthodontist insisted on them." Dave informed my family and friends. Then, he whispered. "I think she just wanted to prove she could put braces on a chipmunk."

I didn't say anything. I just looked down at my feet. I wouldn't smile and I really didn't feel much like talking.

"So, Alvin, how are you?" Theodore asked, looking at me with sympathy.

I gave them all a big thumbs down. This was HUMILIATING.

"Come on, Alvin." Eleanor tried to cheer me up. The attempt was futile. "I bet your braces look cool. Like you're part robot or something!"

Sigh. Nobody would shut up until I showed them. I forced a grin showing off my new braces. My ugly silver colored teeth cages.

"I still think you look good." Jeanette assured me.

I decided to try talking, which was a mistake. "I look thilly ath heck, but thankth, Jeanette." As soon as I heard my voice, I put my paw over my mouth.

Eleanor, Brittany, and even Simon giggled.

"You sound silly too." Eleanor slapped her knee.

Jeanette put an arm around me protectively. "You will get used to it. It's actually kinda cute. But, you just need to adjust. You'll be speaking clearly before you know it."

"I can'th even thalk wight!" I lisped angrily.

Brittany sighed and looked at me sadly. I expected her to make fun of me, but I was glad she wasn't.

Since Eleanor was doing that. "I think they really match the glasses."

"Enough, Eleanor." Dave scolded. "Jeanette's right, Alvin, you just need to adjust."

"Wathewer." I groaned. Whatever wouldn't even come out right. I wanted to crawl in a hole.

As we walked out of the orthodontist place, Simon tried to butter me up. "You don't sound that bad."

"Put a thock in ith Thimon. I am lithping worth than Cheethy." I fumed. I could not take this. Any more changes, and I was going to explode!

When I got home, I went straight to the bathroom to survey the damage further inflicted on my gorgeous face. Maybe they were right? Maybe it wasn't that bad. No, nope. They were WRONG! I looked like someone that I would have made fun of and cracked jokes about relentlessly before I BECAME them.

I never intended to hurt dorky looking dudes like this, but maybe I did sorta deserve some of this. Certainly not all of it! Talk about disproportionate retribution! This was wrong! All wrong! How could I let all this stuff keep happening? WHY WAS IT HAPPENING!?

I was about to do my usual routine of putting gel in my hair to keep it looking amazing. when I stopped. I looked at my face. The braces, the face rash, the red hipster glasses. What use was cool looking hair when I looked like this? I was a mess. Fabulous hair wouldn't distract from what was going on below it. Did it really matter if I did my hair?

I washed the gel off my hands and then ran them through my unruly locks. Taking off my hat, I noticed my gorgeous hair was still mostly auburn, but now brown roots were even starting to show. BROWN ROOTS!? Just like Simon. The universe was slowly turning me into another Simon! No, it was making me someone even NERDIER looking than Simon!

I was sick of this. So sick of this. I pulled at my hair in frustration which only made it messier and messier. When I finished I snuck one final peek at it. There, now my wild Einstein-esque hair fit the rest of my hopelessly uncool appearance perfectly. I turned away from my reflection and vowed that from that day on, I'd never look in a mirror again.

It hurt me to say that. It went against my instincts. I was Alvin! I was KNOWN for getting lost in a mirror admiring myself. There was nothing to admire now. My looks were ancient history. My singing voice had joined them. I needed to learn a lesson from all this, but I still couldn't tell which one. I decided, uncomfortable as it may be, the only way I stood a chance of surviving this was to STOP focusing on the way I look. It would be the toughest challenge I'd ever faced in my life. Could I actually do it? And more importantly, if I did, would I ever get my looks back someday?

Britt's nightmare

Chapter Text

CONFUSION IS NOTHING NEW

Theodore's POV

Boy, Alvin's life sure had taken a big nosedive. Why were all of these bad things happening to him? He needed to be cheered up. I'm usually really good at cheering people up. Today though, none of my ideas were working.

"Hey, Alvin." I said sweetly. "Do you wanna play Mystic Mountain with me?" That's one of his favorite computer games.

He sat on his bed, not moving. His eyes looked duller than their usual bright blue color. He stared right past me, like I wasn't even there. His hair was a mess and he wasn't even wearing his cap.

I tried a new idea. "What about watching a movie? Like that one you like about the guy who skips school?" It was an 80s movie. The guy's name started with F I think. It was called something something's Day Off.

He slowly shook his head.

"Maybe we could go shopping and get you another pin for your pin collection?" I opened up his nightstand drawer and looked at the 4 different pins inside. There were pins shaped like a guitar, a rocket ship, a green alien head, and one shaped like the letter A. (That last one was an official AATC fan club pin.)

Alvin shook his head again. He took off his red hooded jacket and tossed it on the floor, then, he flopped backwards on the bed in his neon blue T shirt that said E=MC squared on it. I didn't know what that meant, but I knew it was a physics thing.

"Come on, Alvin." I begged. "Work with me."

He curled up in a ball and trembled.

Simon and Dave came into the bedroom. I was glad they were here for backup. It seemed like I wasn't gonna be able to help Alvin on my own.

"How's he doing?" Dave asked, his face all sympathetic. He was sometimes hard on Alvin. He had to be less hard on Alvin now that the world was being hard enough on Alvin.

I frowned and climbed onto my own bed, to cuddle with Talking Teddy. "Not good. He won't say anything and he keeps staring into space."

"He's processing another unforeseen change in his beloved appearance." Simon explained.

"Is he going to go to school like this?" I wondered aloud, staring up at Dave.

My dad ran a hand through his, so dark brown it could be black, hair. "I don't know. There's only a week left of the marking period." He bit his lip. "But I also know it'll be hard on him."

"I hear you thalking about me." Alvin finally said something! The braces made him unable to say S sounds, but at least he could still talk.

Simon sighed and climbed up onto his bed, grabbing his math book so he could study it more. "What do you want to do, Alvin?"

His voice was as dull as his eyes. He actually sounded a lot like Simon. It was more noticeable when you could hear them back to back. "I mighth as well juth go to thcool." His lip with the healing cut on it quivered. "Ith whath nerdth like me do."

"What happened to only being half a nerd?" I asked softly, rubbing my hands on Teddy's fur to help calm me down. I was worried Brittany was right. Alvin hadn't lost himself before, but now he was pretty much all gone. As Simon told me, our big brother was facing the "blue screen of death" which is a computer term.

Alvin looked at us, misery all over his face. "Brathes happened. Thith thupid lithp happened. Clearly, my dethtiny ith to thuccumb to the nerdineth within."

"Here we go again." Simon rolled his eyes, focusing on the book. "You think that just because you look like a stereotype now, you have to act like one."

"You can be whoever you want to be, Alvin." Dave sat down on Alvin's bed and motioned for Alvin to come closer to him.

My oldest brother didn't want to. He just kept on complaining. "Whath the pointh of acthing the way I wanth when all anyone elthe will thee ith a thereotype?" He asked. "Migth ath well make it eathy on them."

"Don't do that, Alvin. There's a gap in my front teeth and people hardly even notice it. Maybe people won't notice your braces either." I squeaked. I had to encourage my brother somehow. I wouldn't rest until he was okay again.

"Oh they'll notice." Simon wasn't helping. "However, If you ignore them, eventually, so will everyone else."

Alvin wailed. "Noth thrue! Nobody ignoreth me. Ever! My perthonalithy demandth atthention." He gulped. "Thometimeth, I wisth ith didn'th."

I was super worried now. "You don't want attention?"

He shook his head.

"Okay, this is worse than I thought." Dave murmured.

"And my mouth hurth!" Alvin added. "I hathe thith!"

"Get some sleep, Alvin. You can decide what to do in the morning." Dave picked him up and tucked him under the covers.

At that moment, I vowed, I would find a way to help Alvin. I would stick by his side, protecting him as good, err well, as I could. I could be like a superhero! I've always liked superhero movies. It's the one geek thing I can really get into, cuz it doesn't require an understanding of science.

Well, science is more a nerd thing. Okay, let me see if I can remember what Simon said, cuz, I might need to know it to help Alvin. Simon told me that geek, nerd, and dweeb all meant different things. Most people used them all to mean the same thing, but they weren't supposed to.

Geeks were into superheroes, comics, collecting odd stuff, watching sci fi movies, videogames, and stuff like that.

Nerds were into science, math, history, books, learning in general, Oh! and computers too! Not computer games, more like the way computers worked.

Dweebs were awkward, dorky, clumsy, socially challenged, and usually labeled as total weirdos.

Wow, I think that means Alvin's all three now…just like Simon. Jeanette seems more like a Nerd and a Dweeb than a Geek, but she DOES like to collect odd stuff. Honestly, trying to figure out all these labels is hard. If people didn't go around labeling each other, maybe we could all get along without people feeling bad.

Although, I guess some labels feel good. Simon is proud to call himself a nerd. He wears it like a badge of honor. Brittany loves being seen as a popular princess and cheerleading star. Eleanor enjoys it when people call her a tomboy. Jeanette's always talking about how she's proud to be a weirdo. And, Alvin was really happy when he got his ADHD label because he said it helped him understand himself more.

What's my label? Cuz I don't want it to be "baby" or "dumb one" or anything like that. Oh! I remember now. I'm the sweet one. Although, that feels kinda wrong to say because it means that the rest of them aren't sweet, right? I think Eleanor is very sweet underneath that tough girl-ness. Britt is really nice too, as long as you aren't Alvin. Jeanette is as sweet as I am. We get along really really good! She tells me lots of fun stuff. Simon's got a compassionate side too, even if he's too scared to let it show. And Alvin, well, even before Jeanette's lessons he was a nice person! With good intentions, most of the time.

Anyway, I am rambling. I bet you are all wondering how school went for Alvin. He surprised everyone when he woke up still wanting to go. Between you and me, I think he only went because Jeanette would be there.

I watched closely as Alvin scurried into the classroom. He carried his books tight to his chest and then took his seat.

"How's it going so far?" I whispered.

"I'm noth going tho think abouth the other kidth. I'm going tho focuth on mainly me." He rubbed the sleeves of his bright neon blue hoodie.

"Hey, Alvin." Bocarter called out, tauntingly. "Where's your cap?"

Alvin didn't answer. I wondered why he wasn't wearing his cap too. It was a pretty big comfort item. I also wondered why he had brown streaks growing in his hair. There weren't many of them, just a few. They were right on the tippy top of his head. Britt says that's where roots grow back in if you get your hair dyed. The weird thing was, Alvin DIDN'T dye his hair.

Ray Ray snickered. "Did you decide that caps are only for cool guys?"

"Yeah!" Annie added. "And you don't need one anymore because you're the most unpopular kid in school?"

Alvin gasped at that, he'd known he wasn't popular anymore, but he didn't realize how far down people said he'd fallen. Gasping wasn't a good idea either, cuz it gave everyone a full view of the braces.

"You guys, look! He's just getting dweebier looking by the day." Amber almost fell out of her chair laughing.

"Hey, cut it out you guys." Kevin stood up for Alvin. "He's just going through an awkward phase."

"Yeah!" Cheesy added. "Awkward phashes are part of life. Sheriously, give Alvin a break."

"Ath leath I hope ith a phathe." Alvin muttered.

Cheesy looked offended. "Dude, mocking my lishp ish not cool."

My oldest brother groaned. "I'm noth thrying to mock you, Cheethy. I can barely thalk with theethe things." He sputtered.

"Oh….that shucks, man. I'm shorry." The guy with the hilarious food based name sat back in his seat.

I decided I needed to get everyone to settle down. WWED. What would Eleanor do? She was good at leadership, whenever people noticed her enough to listen to her leadership.

I blocked out the commotion as the other students all started arguing with each other over whether Alvin was going through a phase or not. I made my way to Miss. Smith's desk and climbed up on top of it.

"Hey!" I shouted, as loudly as I could. "You should all be nicer to each other!"

"Why?" Bocarter asked.

To my surprise, Jeanette joined me. "Because we all have to share this planet. Every single one of us can make a difference. We can build a better and kinder world." She put her hands on her hips as she stood next to me on the desk.

"And if you aren't nice…" I threatened. "Then karma will get you!" That sounded like something Eleanor would say. Sometimes, people have to be scared straight.

"Like, what's a karma?" Amber asked.

Annie folded her arms and leaned back in her chair. "She sounds lame."

"Uhhhh…" I wasn't sure exactly how to explain it. Maybe Jeanette could. I stepped behind Jeanette and let all eyes be on her.

She'd come a long way since Alvin taught her how to be more confident and better at speaking in public. Before, she was super duper shy and really freaked out. Now, it still freaked her out a little, but she could do it.

"Karma is.." Jeanette coughed a little and cleared her throat. "Sorry, excuse me, Karma is the belief that the sum of a person's actions decide their ultimate fate. If you do mostly good things, then you have good karma. If you do mostly bad things, you have bad karma. A karmic punishment, is one designed to make you pay for the bad or mean things you do. For example, a rich and greedy guy being crushed by giant stacks of cash." She looked directly at Bocarter as she said that.

"Yeah!" I squeaked. "And another example is how Alvin always made fun of nerds, so the bad karma from that turned him into one."

"On the outside, the inside, everywhere." Brittany muttered angrily.

The whole class was staring with really freaked out looks on their faces.

"Fun fact: Karma comes from the Sanskrit word karman, which means action, effect, and fate." Jeanette finished.

Miss. Smith walked into the room. "Let me guess. Now you guys want to teach class too?" She asked Jeanette and me.

I shook my head. "Nope. I think we scared everyone into behaving." I jumped off the desk.

Jeanette followed me. "You can take over again."

After that, class started. Nobody else said a peep about Alvin's new braces. My idea had worked! I wasn't gonna be like Simon and Alvin and start bragging about my genius, but it felt good that my idea had worked.

Unfortunately, it hadn't cheered Alvin up any. He still looked pretty miserable. There had to be something else I could do!

During lunch, Alvin and Jeanette weren't in the cafeteria. I assumed they were probably in the library, so I checked there. They weren't, for whatever reason. I went back to the lunchroom and then eventually spotted them outside in the courtyard. They were sitting under a tree and Alvin was scribbling on a notepad while Jeanette played with the butterfly pendant hanging around her neck.

"What are you guys up to?" I asked. "And can I join in?" I wanted to keep an eye on Alvin.

He looked peaceful right now. Calmer. Like Simon said, being around Jeanette has that effect. "We're working on my acrothic poem tho I can path my writing clath with flying colorth."

"He forgot to turn it in a while ago, but Miss. Smith's letting him make it up." Jeanette explained. "Because he's been doing so well on everything." She handed Alvin a box of red colored candy.

"Are you supposed to eat that with your braces?" I asked, taking a seat next to Alvin.

He shrugged. "Ya gonna call the copth on me?" He joked. It was good to see some of his rebel personality returning.

"No." I replied. The candy smelled really good. Cherry flavored. One of my favorites. "Can I try some?"

Alvin got that weirdly panicked look in his eyes again. He clutched the box protectively. "Nohoho! Ith mighth thurn you intho a nerd thoo."

Jeanette just giggled. "No, it won't." She reached into her purple backpack with stars and handed me an identical box of cherry flavored candy. The label said Nerds on it. Ohhhh that's why Alvin thinks it'll turn me into a nerd. Of course!

"We don'th know thath!" My paranoid brother went on. "They make homework really eathy for me, but if I eat thoo many, I feel thick."

"Oh wow! I hope they make homework easy for me too." I took a handful and crunched them. I can't believe I'm saying it, they were almost TOO SWEET! So sweet it was overpowering. "Ick! Nevermind, I think I'll stick to doughnuts. Thanks for letting me try them though." I handed the box back to Jeanette.

"Have you picked the vocabulary word you want to use, Alvin?" The kind Chipette in the light purple dress with bug designs on it asked.

Alvin nodded. "Thath abouth ath far ath I goth." He flipped the notebook around to show us the word he'd written vertically on the page. STEWPENDUS.

Jeanette held back a giggle. "Great word choice, but, uh, it's spelled wrong."

Alvin's face turned redder and he ripped off the notebook page, crumpling it up and starting to write on the next page.

"I thought it was spelled like that too." I said, hoping it would make Alvin less embarrassed. I don't think it did. "What's the assignment uhhh…cri…"

"Criteria." Jeanette finished for me. She read the instructions on Alvin's worksheet out loud. "Describe yourself by creating an acrostic poem with a chosen vocabulary word."

Alvin started to complain and stood up to pace. "Greath. Cool. How am I thupposed to dethcribe mythelf when I don'th know who I am? I've changed thoo much. I don'th know me! I don'th know who I wanth thoo be either!" He shrieked in frustration. "Or who I even can be withouth my thinging career! Thath, ith why thith thtupid poem thtill isn'th writthen even though it wath due already. Ohhhh." He plopped back down on the ground with a loud groan.

"There, there." I told him soothingly.

Jeanette calmly held Alvin's hand. "It's okay. It's okay. We'll get through this. Remember to breathe."

Alvin pulled his hand away and flipped the notebook around to write on a different page. "Here! Here'th all I've got. Dethcribe mythelf? Okay, thure! I can do it in one word! CONFUTHING! That'th ith!" He started to calm down again, after dropping the notebook on Jeanette's lap. "That'th all I goth. I know NOTHING elthe."

The girl in purple continued to be really patient with him. If Simon and Dave were here, they would have blown up when he had his outburst. Jeanette was really good for Alvin, even though Britt said she's stressing him out.

"Sure you do. In fact, I think now is a great time to start describing the person you want to become." She started to write down something on the notebook, but I couldn't see.

Alvin sighed. "I don'th know who I wanth thoo become." He touched his hair. "Thimon, apparently. Whatever Thimon ith. Thath whath I wanth thoo be."

I frowned. "Are you saying that because you really feel that way? Or because you think that's how people want you to feel?"

Tears sprung up behind his glasses. "I don'th know anymore."

"Yikes." Alvin's problems were DEEP.

Jeanette shook her head. "You've got to really look inside. Ask yourself what traits you value and which ones you're trying to improve."

"I forgeth." Alvin moaned, punching his first into the tree. "When I look inthide, all I find ith broken remainth of the guy I wath before….mixthed with random pileth of new knowledge. And thupid phythicth."

"That's not good." I commented.

Jeanette chewed the eraser of her pencil. "Think harder, Alvin. Why did you come to me for lessons? What was the goal?"

"Thoo be more open-minded." He replied. Now, he was finally getting somewhere. "And underthanding."

"Precisely." Jeanette's deep indigo eyes sparkled.

"And you made me a lot more thenthitive." Alvin went on, staring at Jeanette as he started to make progress. "Which I didn'th like at firth, but I DO like it now."

"Open-Minded for O, Sensitive for S, Understanding for U." I said as Alvin started to fill in the poem. "Now, you're cooking!"

"Altho thmarth." He scrunched his nose as he tried to talk in his usual way. "Thmart…Ssss…mart!" He rubbed his jaw. "Ow! I hathe theethe things."

"Great, what else?" Jeanette encouraged.

Alvin smirked, which looked pretty funny with the braces on. "I thill wanna be a daredevil!" He announced boldy. "And I wanth thoo be…" He slowed down to enunciate more. "talented! AND proud of all my talenth." Then, he looked worried. "Thath okay, righth?"

Jeanette and I smiled at him. "Of course!"

"You mean thereth a differenthe bethween pride and arroganthe?" He wondered.

The girl in purple nodded. "Absolutely. It's okay to be proud of your accomplishments. When you start constantly shoving them in people's faces, that's when pride turns to arrogance."

"I geth it! I get it! Ow!" He rubbed his jaw again. "Sssso…" He gave up trying to fight the lisp. "Whath you're thaying ith thath even though clasthic and nerdy Alvin don'th mixth thath well, I can be both of them!"

Did this mean my happy and excitable brother was finally coming back? I high fived him. "Uh huh! That's exactly what it means."

"Then, add Nerdy thoo the listh too." He grinned. "For N."

Eventually, Alvin, with help from me and Jeanette, had completed his entire acrostic poem. I thought it described him pretty well. Finally, he was starting to discover who he REALLY wanted to become. The person he wanted to be no matter what society said. I was pretty excited for him. He was less excited and still confused.

Anyway, this was his poem!

Who I Really Am

By: Alvin Seville

Smart

Talented

Unique

Proud

Excitable

Nerdy

Daring

Open-Minded

Understanding

Sensitive

After school that day, I had to listen to yet another Alvin and Simon argument. Maybe that was a sign that Alvin knew who he was again. I crept into the closet to see what they were up to. They hang out together a lot, even though they appear not to enjoy each other's company very much. They always have. Of course, since Alvin became super smart, he's been clinging to Simon even more. I don't think Simon enjoys it.

"Come on, Thimon!" Alvin was begging. "I need to dithract mythelf from my lookth. You're my only hope!"

"The last time you helped me, I had to scrape my formula off the ceiling!" Simon huffed.

"Thath won'th happen again." My oldest brother promised. "I have thurrendered tho the nerdineth and I am very mathure now."

Simon rolled his eyes. "If you were as mature as you claim to be, you'd stop bothering me and go do your quote on quote "physics things?" He sassed at Alvin.

Alvin gave him a metal covered smirk. "Can I build a particle athelerator in the wasthing macthine?" He asked, twitching his tail.

Ooooh boy. He shouldn't have said that. Simon got really annoyed when people reminded him about the time loop making thing that almost killed us all.

The boy in the blue shirt growled. "No."

Alvin continued to push it. Another sign he was feeling better again. "Juth kidding. I would never do thomething so thupid and recklesth. Cuth it ith, you know, very thupid and recklesth."

Simon lost what was left of his patience and pointed at the door. "Get out!"

"If you thay tho. I think you'll really regret not having my geniuth on your team." Alvin boasted, pointing to himself.

Simon continued working on mixing a bunch of stuff together in beakers, really carefully. "I doubt it."

"Come on, pleeeath?" Alvin got really close to him and Simon almost poked him with a test tube thingie.

I decided it was time to step in and mediate the situation. Cuz that's who I am. The mediator. If I wasn't around, Alvin and Simon would get so mad at each other that they'd both get their feelings hurt and then they'd lash out and physically hurt each other too. Not good.

"Don't you have something that Alvin can help with?" I asked, walking closer so they could see me.

"Yeah!" Alvin jumped around excitedly. "I'll do anything! Literally anything! I'm a thupendouth athisthtant." He really couldn't say stupendous or assistant very well, but he was sure trying!

"Anything?" Simon's eyebrows narrowed. I sensed that his expression was weirdly devious.

Alvin nodded so fast it's a wonder his head didn't fall off. "ANYTHING!"

Simon tapped his chin. "Hmmmm. Well, I could use someone to scrub beakers." He pointed to a bin full of empty beakers with his gloved hand.

Alvin looked disappointed. Like Simon took his spirit and crushed it into a tiny ball. "Really?"

"Take it or leave it." The boy in the royal blue shirt and blue labcoat said forcefully, and sternly. He reminded me of Dave. I wonder if that's where Simon gets it from.

Alvin sighed. "Hand me the rag." He said in a defeated voice.

"I can help with beakers too." I offered.

"Okay, you thake thath half, and I'll take thith half." The boy in red glasses instructed.

So we spent some time washing beakers while Simon did the real complicated stuff. It was fun, for me, anyway. Alvin found it really hard. He wound up needing his music plugged in his head so he wouldn't lose focus on it.

After we finished the beakers, I played around with my toy cars. Alvin asked if he could play too. It was weird. It was like he wanted to copy all of us, as he was searching for things he truly loved and enjoyed. I didn't mind though! I felt a lot less left out.

He pulled the toy cop car up to my green Volkswagen beetle car. "Yeee haw. I'm Officer Danguth." He said, imitating our friendly neighborhood cop in a silly cowboy drawl. "I'mma have to athk you to thep outh of the car, thonny. Your tail light'th outh. Now, if you don'th fixth thath real thoon, I'mma have to write you a fiiiine. I don'th wanth thath. Do you wanth thath?"

I couldn't stop myself from giggling like crazy. The lisp from the braces plus the southern accent was too funny! "Sorry, Officer." I said, between giggles. "I'll fix it ASAP."

Alvin smiled at me. I'm glad my laughing at him didn't set him off. I was worried it might. Maybe he was warming up to the braces, getting used to them. Seeing the positives instead of only the negatives.

"You think that'th funny. You thould hear my Daffy Duck impresthion." Alvin bragged. "Help me, pleathe! I'm thoo moisth and thender tho rethire!"

I giggled again. "I don't know who he is, but that sure sounded hilarious."

"We need tho wathch more TV." My brother said with a chuckle.

I nodded. "I'm up for it if you are."

Suddenly, Alvin screamed out of nowhere. "AHHHHHH!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay?"

"Get him off! Get him off! Get him off!" He shrieked.

"Get who off?" I questioned.

Once Jeanette ziplined into our room, everything became clear. "Sorry! Sorry!"

"AHHHHHH!" Alvin shook the black and fuzzy spider off his back. "Jeanethe, I told you to keep that therrifying thpider out of my room!" He fumed.

Jeanette cradled her pet spider and I did my best not to look at him so I wouldn't get the shivers. "He likes you. He just wants to spend time with his favorite person." The Chipette responded.

Alvin folded his arms. "How am I his favorithe? I am nobody'th favorithe!"

"That's not true, Alvin." I told him, patting his arm to help calm him down.

Alvin responded well to gentle touch. If you touched Simon the same way, he'd run away from you as fast as possible screaming "SPACE! SPACE! SPACE!" I knew that from experience. I may only be a kid, but I have gained a lot of experience.

"Lots of people like you. And Mr. Snugglepet is one of those people." She tickled the spider under the chin. It was kinda cute, as long as he stayed in her hands and didn't come near me.

Alvin started to calm down more. "Well, uh, thankth, Mr. Thnuggledude. But uh, can you tell him not to thneak up on me anymore?"

"Will do." Jeanette sat down on Alvin's bed, still holding the spider. "So, how's the, err, crisis?"

Alvin and I played with the toy cars while we talked. Alvin forced a smile. It looked genuine enough to most people, but I could tell it was hiding a lot of pain. "Acthually, ath the momenth. It'th pretty tolerable." He squeaked. "I juth gottha find my thensthe of thelf and I'm home free." He hesitated. "Exthcept..."

"Except what?" I spun the wheels of the red nascar racecar in my hands.

Alvin tried really hard to speak clearly. He knew this was important for us to hear. "Except it doesn't really feel like I lost my sense of self. It feels like I never had a self to begin with."

Jeanette covered her mouth and gasped. "Did my lessons do that to you? Simon said they're stressing you out." The spider was now on her shoulder, resting contently.

"No! No! Your lesthons are fine." Alvin stood up. "They're really helpful! I was broken long before you tharted teaching me thtuff. In fact, I'm pretty thure I was broken before I met Dave."

Well, that's not something I expected. Why didn't he tell us before this crisis? Or did he only realize he's been broken in the last few months or weeks or…has it been a year yet? Time sure is funny here.

I started putting the toy cars away. "That's so long ago though! You seemed fine."

Alvin nodded. "I usthed popularity to cope with the facth thath I felt broken and unlovable. When the popularity vanithhed, I ssspun out. I attached myssself to being sssmart instead, thinking it would make me feel loved." He admitted. I got weirded out when he stressed the S sounds. He sounded like some sort of chipmunk-snake hybrid. "Then, I took it too far and made a huge mesth. Maybe I'll alwayth be broken. Maybe I'll never have a real perthonality. Just a bunch of funny acths in a threnchcoath." He thought he was just funny acts in a trenchcoat? What? I'm an actor too, but my sense of self is okay. What was different about Alvin?

"Oh man." Jeanette groaned. "This is even worse than I thought."

"Can you thtill help?" Alvin's big blue eyes were wide and he was making the same kind of puppy face that I usually made.

Jeanette swung around the bedpost and landed on the floor with a soft THUMP sound. "I'll do my best. I think I still can help, it'll just be harder than I was expecting."

"And I'll do whatever I can to help too." I vowed.

"I feel bad making you guyth thpend all your time and energy on me." Alvin added, looking guiltier than I have ever seen him look. "I don'th wanth tho be the thenter of athenthion anymore." Wow! Did that actually just come out of Alvin's mouth again? If I didn't know better, I'd think the braces were talking for him. I'm so glad I DO know better.

"M…Maybe you can let Eleanor be the center of attention instead." I suggested. "She would really like that."

He chuckled a bit. "Maybe Eleanor thould geth herthelf a thotal nerd makeover. Or like, go goth or thomething."

"She does kind of suit a punk goth aesthetic." Jeanette said, staring off into space.

"Yeah! Thothally." Alvin nudged Jeanette. "So, uh, goth anymore advithe for me before ya go?"

"Do you mean got? Or were you making a pun using goth?" I wondered.

Alvin groaned. "I hathe theethe brathes."

"I do have one piece of advice. It might be instrumental in solving your dilemma." The Chipette in purple said cryptically.

"What is it?" Both Alvin and I said at once. Although, Alvin still had the funny braces talk problem.

Jeanette walked to the window with us, we were about to see her off on the zipline. She placed a hand on Alvin's heart. "What is one can become many. What is many can become one. You just have to know how to do it."

He started to look at her the way he looked at hot girls and physics books. "Did you juth quote My Teacher Flunked The Planet for me?"

Her eyes sparkled. "I did." She gushed. If I didn't know better, I would think they were in love. But that was silly, right?

"What do you mean by that?" He tilted his head thoughtfully.

Jeanette stood on the windowsill, with Mr. Snugglepet safely in the pocket of her dark purple hoodie. "I mean, theoretically, you can take all those acts in a trenchcoat and combine them into one big clay glob of a person."

"So Alvin has to become a glob?" I scratched my head. I wasn't sure I got the idea. Maybe I wasn't meant to. Jeanette and Alvin had their own special secret code language. It was really tough to crack.

"Yes." Jeanette grabbed the handle of the thingie hanging from the zipline and held on tight. "It might be harder than you think, but I believe you can do it."

"Combine the acths." Alvin repeated. "And the true thelf will be revealed."

"Every act is a facet in some way." Jeanette continued. "They're all part of yooooou." She accidentally pushed herself off on the zipline before she was ready. She's so silly in the best way possible. Luckily, she made it into her bedroom instead of hitting the side of the treehouse this time.

"Do you know what she's talking about?" I asked Alvin, as I slipped into my light green striped PJs. I love them because stripes remind me of Eleanor.

He let out a lovestruck sounding sigh. "Noth all of it, buth mosth of it."

"Oh good." I wiped my hand across my forehead. "Because I got nothing. I don't have a clue what a facet is."

"I'll exthplain ith tho ya." My brother who usually wore red, but now mostly wore cyan offered.

Alvin explained that he was fractioned, errr, fractured. In order to fix all the psyche cracks, he had to pick out the parts of each act, each character he played, that were his true self. He didn't know what each part was yet. He'd have to find them. It was like going on a scavenger hunt and meeting a bunch of new people to ask them for clues. At least, I think that's what it was like.

I thought about it a lot as I was falling asleep. Psychology stuff does interest me, but this was like really REALLY hard psychology stuff. I'd heard of people putting on so much of an act that they forgot who they were before. That was on those soap operas I liked to watch, along with amnesia. I didn't expect anything like that to happen in my life, especially not to my own brother. I wished I could comprehend more of how it all worked, but then I'd have to be smarter and being smarter would give me a headache. At least, Alvin knew he wasn't alone.

Alvin seemed to be starting to get better. He survived the last few days of school. They weren't easy, but he persevered. (That's a word he and Jeanette taught me.) Oh, and Dave's jaw dropped at a report card full of Cs and Bs in every single class…and an A in writing. I thought for sure things would look up.

But Alvin is unpredictable. As summer began, we found him back in a funk. I think it was triggered by some people at the skatepark making fun of the way he looked. I was there when they did, cheering Eleanor on from the sidelines as she defended Alvin. Still, it seemed to have really brought him back down.

One day, Simon barged in as I was quietly watching some funny cat videos and Alvin was reading Simon's Calculus book.

"You need to go outside." The chipmunk in the blue T shirt ordered.

Alvin still wasn't wearing his cap. He had on a white shirt covered in red and cyan (that's what he says neon blue is, so I decided I'll use it now) mathematical formulas that I couldn't understand.

"I'm kinda captivated by thith book. Math ith ethilarathing!" He exclaimed.

Simon snatched the book out of his hands. "I don't care. You need some fresh air and exercise. You have been inside the house an ENTIRE week. You're missing the whole summer!"

I decided to scurry over and add to Simon's words. "Yeah, Alvin. Don't waste the summer!"

My oldest brother started rocking with his hands holding his knees. "I can'th! Thomeone elthe might thee what I've become!" He sounded terrified. Why is it always up and down with this guy?

"Alvin, you look fine." Simon promised him.

"Jeanette thinks you look adorable." I added.

Alvin shouted. "I'm HIDEOUTH!"

"No, you aren't hideous!" I argued with him.

Alvin paced around on top of his bed. "Yeth, I am. And now I can croth "winning thmile" off the lith of good attractive qualitieth I potheth." Wow, he was just as wordy as ever, even when it was tough to speak.

"You look fine." Simon repeated, putting the calculus book on the shelf. "You don't even have to wear headgear!"

"SHHH! DON'T THAY THAT!" Alvin shrieked, jumping across the bed to Simon's bed and then to the floor, so he could cover Simon's mouth. "The evil alienth doing thith to me will hear you!" Oof. Not the paranoia.

Simon rolled his eyes. To be honest, I was kinda there too "...and we're back on the aliens. I give up. Do what you want. But if you spend the entire summer feeling miserable and waste it all, that's on you." He warned.

"What happened to not focusing on your looks?" I asked.

"Thath harder than I exthpected." Alvin stated. At least he was telling the truth.

I got closer to Alvin. I HAD to help him. "Okay, well, what happened to combining your Classic Alvin and Nerdy Alvin traits together?"

He looked flustered. "I don't know how."

"You what?" I asked. How could he not know?

"I sssaid, I don't know how." He grabbed his cyan jacket and slipped it on over the math problem shirt.

Simon frowned as he watched Alvin closely. "You'll figure something out. I'm sure."

Alvin shook his head. He'd FINALLY learned to talk like his old self with the braces on. "I can't. I remember being classic Alvin, but I don't remember HOW to be him." He explained.

"You could start by wearing your cap again." I took his favorite red cap off the bedpost and held it out for him.

He sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "No cap. I gotta let the sun lighten up my roots, or I'll look even more like Simon." He looked at a very grouchy Simon. "No offense. Your looks work fine on you, just not me."

Simon sighed loudly. "None taken."

I knew I needed a new plan, so later that day, I surprised Alvin with something special. I figured, since he still couldn't sing, that we could sing TO him instead. Singing worked the last time he was upset. The fact that he couldn't remember how to be Classic Alvin at all outside of "daredevil" was terrifying. But the original Alvin personality still had to be in there! The sadness was just covering it up.

"SURPRISE!" Dave, Simon, The Chipettes, and I exclaimed, as Alvin entered the room wearing the same outfit he'd been wearing yesterday.

He blinked and pushed up his red glasses. "What's this about?"

I stepped forward proudly. "We came to cheer you up."

"Guys, please don't." He ran his hands through his messy hair. "I'm too tired for this."

"But what if music could bring your Classic Alvin side back?" I squeaked.

"Yeah!" Brittany exclaimed. "I mean, what's the harm in trying?"

Alvin stared down at his feet. "Fine. You can try. But, I don't think anything will bring classic me back at this point. I let the nerdiness fully take over while I was upset and…I wiped him out. For good."

"Alvin,…" Jeanette stepped forward. "Remember, according to physics, matter cannot be created or destroyed? It only changes form."

Simon caught on to what she was saying. "Maybe classic Alvin's changed form along with you."

"So he looks and feels like a loser now too?" Alvin rolled his eyes. "Gee, thanks. I feel so much better. You all work wonders." He snipped sarcastically.

Dave looked confused. "Why do you talk about him as if he's a different person?"

Alvin sighed and sat down on his bed. "Because he IS a different person. I talk to him, in my head."

"Oh dear." Jeanette squeaked.

"Wait, what now?" Brittany gasped.

Eleanor chuckled. "Dude, that is crazy!"

"I know!" Alvin moaned. "I know I'm crazy! Ever since that concussion, he's been like…appearing out of nowhere. I'm hallucinating. I've entirely lost my mind. And now, now he just randomly stopped appearing and I MISS HIM!"

"This is really the type of thing to discuss with a therapist, Alvin." Dave said kindly. "They can help you."

Alvin forcefully shook his head. "Jeanette can help me! Just Jeanette! She's the only one who knows how to help me learn stuff. Besides, you know, maybe Classic Alvin leaving means my brain is all healed and I won't hallucinate anymore! Haha!" Alvin laughed like a mad scientist. "Never mind! The physics visions are back, baby! I'm going to be hallucinating forever!"

"I always knew Alvin was a certified whackadoodle, but this takes the cake." Eleanor mumbled.

"So, uh…" I started to ask as Alvin closed his eyes to block out whatever crazy stuff he was seeing. "Would you like to hear our song we picked just for you? Or not?"

He sighed. Looking at all of our faces and then blinking his eyes a few times, he finally decided. "Sure. Go ahead. Worst case scenario it doesn't work. Best case scenario, I start to feel like me again."

"Okay, team! Hit it!" I exclaimed, happy to finally have a chance to cheer Alvin up. I knew this would work! It had to!

Dave started to play guitar while the rest of us sang. The song was called The Middle by a band called Jimmy Eat World. That's a funny name.

"Hey, don't write yourself off yet." Simon took the first line.

"I know it's never nice to feel left out" Eleanor followed. "Or looked down on"

"Just try your best" I squeaked. "Try everything you can."

Jeanette led us to Alvin's bed and we all danced around. "And don't you worry what they tell themselves, when you're away."

Simon and I teamed up to sing the first part of the chorus.

"It just takes some time

Hey, big bro, you're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything'll be just fine

Everything, everything'll be alright, alright"

After that, the Chipettes followed.

"It just takes some time

Little guy, you're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything'll be just fine

Everything, everything'll be alright, alright."

Eleanor handed Alvin his cap, but he hung it back on the bedpost.

"Hey, you know they're all the same." She said.

I danced around as I sang a line. "You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in."

"Live right now." Brittany added. "Yeah, just be yourself." She begged.

"It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else." Jeanette finished. Brittany gave her a suspicious look.

I teamed up with Simon again. Dave was still rockin' on the guitar.

"It just takes some time

Hey, big bro, you're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything'll be just fine

Everything, everything'll be alright, alright."

The Chipettes all did a conga line around Alvin's bed, making him laugh.

"It just takes some time

Little guy, you're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything'll be just fine

Everything, everything'll be alright, alright."

Dave blew everyone away with an EPIC guitar solo. Suddenly, I heard another guitar join him. It was Alvin's! Alvin was standing on his bed in that cyan jacket and weird math problem shirt, playing the guitar and bobbing his head back and forth. Sort of like headbanging, but not quite headbanging. If there was ever a sign that Classic Alvin was still around somewhere, that was it!

We all sang together for the final chorus. It wasn't a perfect harmony, since Alvin's voice was still flat, but it's not like we were supposed to be PERFECT anyway. We were messy, wild, chaotic, and we were all kinda crazy if you really thought about it. Alvin wasn't the only one.

"It just takes some time

In the middle, in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything'll be just fine

Everything, everything'll be alright, alright."

As the song ended, the five of us all hugged Alvin. We knew that he'd make it through this. Somehow. At least, I hope that everyone knew.

Alvin smiled again, looking up at Dave. Our dad was a little too big to properly join the hug, so Alvin high fived him instead.

"That was some pretty amazing guitar playing, Alvin." Dave said warmly.

Alvin smirked at him. "Ya weren't so bad yourself, daddy-o."

"Do you feel more like yourself now?" Brittany asked hopefully.

The boy who may not have looked much like Alvin, but certainly did act like him quite a bit, looked confused. He seems confused a lot these days. I wish I knew how to break the confusion forever. "Only, like, maybe 2%." He squeaked. "But, but, it's a start."

"Yeah." Simon smiled hopefully, and the rest of us did too. "It's a start."

Yay! That means that Alvin can finally find himself again! As soon as he remembers where he put himself. I wonder if it's like losing your keys in the pocket of your mind. Like, he knows they're there. It's just hard to grab them and pull them out. I wish I could talk to his hallucination of Classic Alvin and ask him nicely to come out of hiding.

I wonder if it's like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation. Eleanor made me watch that movie once. It was creepy. I'm glad I only have one personality. Alvin didn't even make a potion that split him though, so how did he wind up split? Did Jeanette make one? He did sing about her making one. I think those were just the song lyrics though. No other meaning. Gosh, I am tired. I hope Alvin can find himself on his own or with help from Jeanette because I'm sure gonna be no help.

ALVIN: Awww, Theo. You help more than you realize.

THEODORE: Thanks, Alvin.

ALVIN: So, what did you think of narrating the whole chapter?

THEODORE: I think you were just trying to get out of writing yourself feeling super duper sad. I would do the same thing.

ALVIN: And out of writing how PAINFUL the braces were.

THEODORE: That too.

ALVIN: Anyway, ya done good.

SIMON: He's done WELL.

ALVIN: La la la! You can't make me care about grammar!

THEODORE: Oh brother.

Alvin's look described in this chapter

Chapter Text

ALBERT IS BORN

Genius-Alvin's POV

I miss wearing my cap! I want to wear it more than ever, but I can't. If I have any hope of these brown roots turning copper like the rest of my hair, then they need as much sunlight as possible. That means, no cap. As much as it PAINS me. As much as I feel like, without it…I'm just a nobody.

Summer wasn't off to a very good start, as you probably already know. I, the former king of primping and the god of good looks, was now the exact opposite. I was avoiding every reflective surface that I could. I just didn't want to see myself. I didn't want any temptation to start caring about my looks again.

Now, I was changing as drastically on the inside as I was on the outside. Maybe Alvin Seville really DIDN'T exist anymore. I sure didn't FEEL like Alvin. To make matters worse, Classic Alvin hadn't popped up to say anything to me in several days.

I kept thinking about what Jeanette said about the acts. I needed to find out who I wanted to be, what traits I valued. Was that person an intellectual? Or someone who uses their genius in a way that's not as intellectual? Who was I going to turn out to be if classic Alvin's personality traits were off the table? I know Jeanette said I could be both nerdy and classic at the same time, but I didn't know how! Not to mention, I couldn't without Classic Alvin!

It was a beautiful, sunshine filled summer day and where was I? In bed, feeling sorry for myself. Theo's musical pick me up idea had only made me feel slightly better. It couldn't re-ignite my rambunctious passion.

I had finally learned to talk around my braces without lisping. That was a good thing. Unfortunately, my braces still HURT. It felt like my whole mouth was caught in a vice grip. They made my jaw hurt too! Why do bad things ALWAYS happen to me?

My face itched like it was covered in mosquito bites. My mouth was invaded by metal. It all felt so hopeless. There was only one person that I could talk to at a time like this, and I didn't even have the energy to get out of bed and call her. I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep, as I'd been doing on and off all day.

At least in the dreamworld, I could regain my old appearance, right? Or so I thought. I waved my hands to make a mirror appear and then altered my appearance back to Classic Alvin's style. I put my hands on my hips and struck a pose, but unfortunately it was no use. With a bright flash of glowing cyan light, my appearance switched back to the ultra geeky one, although I still had my usual red hoodie with a yellow A on under the cyan jacket.

The mirror shattered and the shards came flying at me, before changing into ladybugs and swarming away. Okay, so I needed a new plan. I started to pace across the vast expanse of the realm. The floor beneath me looked like a chessboard and the sky above looked like a purple and pink galaxy.

Then, out of nowhere, a red and yellow portal appeared and sucked me inside. I was spit out on the other side, in a world that looked 2-dimensional. It was a park of some sort.

"Hello?" I called out. "Is anybody here?"

"What did they do to you?" A slightly higher voice than mine answered, with a gasp.

I turned my head to see a chipmunk with solid tan fur all over his body. He was wearing a long red shirt, or dress, of somekind with a big yellow A. His hair was a weird little fur clump on his head. My hair may have been a mess, but at least it was longer and shinier, and a different color than the rest of my fur. I looked at his outfit again. Wait a minute, was he cosplaying as me?

I decided I might as well answer him. "That's what I wanna know. Also, who is they?"

He shrugged. "I dunno, but I'm pretty sure you didn't do this to yourself. Nobody would ever WANT to look like that."

"Who are you?" I asked, approaching him cautiously.

He laughed. "Who am I? Only the coolest and most famous rockstar in history! Alvin Seville!"

Yep. Definitely a cosplayer. "While I admire your adherence to the act, you can't possibly be Alvin Seville." I swallowed, a nervous stammer coming on out of nowhere. "B…B…Because I…I'm Alvin S…Seville."

He laughed even harder, then he started looking me over. He was taller than I was, which bugged me a little, okay, a lot. "Nice try, Pal. You don't look like an Alvin."

"Well, I'm not a Simon either." I growled, annoyed.

He stroked his chin. "No, not a Simon either. More like…somewhere in between."

"No, no, I'm…" I remembered what I learned in physics class, which probably doesn't surprise any of you. "I'm you. From another dimension."

"Nuh uh." He shook his head. "No self respecting Alvin would ever look like you."

"It's not like I want to look like this." I got an idea. "Hey, maybe you can help me find my Classic Alvin side again."

"I don't know what you're babbling about." The weird 2D version of me said. "But, sure. I can help. Where are we looking?"

In the distance, I saw a corn maze that matched the rest of the cartoony surroundings. "Maybe he's in there."

He followed me to the maze. "So, if we find this guy, then you get to look cool again."

"I hope so." I squeaked. "I miss looking cool. And singing."

He gasped again. "You can't sing?"

"I can." I admitted. "But it's not great. My vocal cords are on the fritz."

"That's terrible!" He commented as we entered the maze. "What kind of an Alvin are you?"

"A broken one." I admitted. I felt as broken as everyone told me I was.

"Do you mind if I sing?" He shuffled his feet in those pale blue checker pattern shoes.

I shook my head. "No. I could use the music to keep me focused."

He sang a bunch of different songs for me. They were all ones I'd never heard before. I memorized the lyrics and added them to my massive mental music collection.

It's A Jungle Out There

The C Team

Pump, Pump, Pump

There's No Rock And Roll On Mars

"I really like that one." I said, referring to the fourth song he'd sang for me. Still no sign of Classic Alvin anywhere in the corn maze though.

He scoffed. "Of course you do, space nerd."

"How did you know I'm a space enthusiast?" I inquired, parting some stalks of corn.

He laughed again. "You're kidding, right? It's written all over you." He frowned. "I'm bored. How close are we to finding your fun side?"

Boy, he reminded me a lot of Classic me. "I don't know." I started to cry. "I don't know if he's even here anymore."

"Dude, are you crying?" He followed me into another section of the maze.

"No." I lied. Crying in front of another Alvin was humiliating.

He smirked playfully. "Looks like you are."

"You'd cry too if you'd been through what I've been through." I snapped. Then, I hit a dead end. This was useless. I was never going to find myself again. Not fully, maybe not even partially.

"Just an idea." The 2D cartoon chipmunk squeaked. "Simon always tells me that if I lose something, I'll find it as soon as I stop looking. Maybe if you stop chasing after this Classic guy, he'll stop hiding from you. Worth a shot, right?"

I dried my tears. "M….Maybe."

He patted my head. "Cheer up, pal. Whatever's going on, you'll get through it."

"Y….Yeah." I pushed up my glasses. "Somehow."

"It's been nice to meet ya." The other me said as we found our way back to the exit of the maze. "I hope you get your Alvin-ness back."

"Nice to meet you too, uh, Alvin." I shook his hand.

"I wonder how many of us exist." He said, looking up at the sky.

I smiled. "The multiverse contains infinite possibilities."

He was about to say something else when a portal opened behind me and swallowed me up. I landed back where I started, in the 3D space again with that chess board looking floor. Weird. Who was that strange guy? Was he really me from another dimension? Or was he another figment of my wild imagination?

Before I could contemplate anymore, I woke up. Pippi, Jeanette's mouse, was playing with my messy hair, while Warbie sat on my chest cocking his tiny bird head at me. I really hoped that Jeanette's spider wasn't in here with them.

"Warbie, he's still sleepy." I heard Jeanette's voice say calmly. "Let him wake up naturally. Don't force it."

Warbie fluttered his wings and moved over to one of my bedposts. "Sorry. Sorry. I just wanna know who this guy is and why he's in Alvin's bed."

"It's me, Warbie." I groaned, sitting up. My body was stiff from laying down so long.

The little bird's teal colored eyed went wide. "Alvin?"

"Yeah. I know. I am virtually unrecognizable. I got the memo." I muttered.

Pippi squeaked and then jumped into my hair. I pulled her out and handed her to Jeanette. "What are you doing here?" I asked them.

"I came to ask if you'd like to go to the beach with me." The Chipette in the purple T shirt with a flower on it said. "Or, if the beach is too crowded, we could swim in the pool."

Gosh, those two things sounded fun. Why must she tempt me? As much as I would have preferred the beach, I wasn't gonna be caught dead there looking the way I did. The pool sounded like a decent alternative. I was pretty bored of just lying in bed.

"The pool sounds…nice." I replied.

Warbie looked annoyed that I had chosen that. "I can't swim." He complained.

"You can fly around while we swim." Jeanette offered.

"Okay!" The yellow warbler zipped from the bedpost to Jeanette's shoulder.

I slid out of bed. "Let me freshen up first." I said, before realizing that didn't matter at all. "Or, ya know what, nevermind! I'm ready to go!"

For whatever reason, Jeanette looked proud of me. I guess she preferred it when I didn't care about my looks. Meanwhile, I was dying inside. I could fake not caring, but actually not caring hadn't happened yet. I wished it would briefly, but then I realized that if I didn't care about my looks, I might never find Classic Alvin again.

A few minutes later, I had put on my bathing suit and walked outside. Darling Netta was waiting for me by the pool. She was sitting on the edge and dangling her feet into the water. Pippi was paddling around wearing tiny water wings to keep her afloat. I cautiously approached, internally wondering why I was so cautious.

"Boo!" A voice from behind startled me and I fell in the grass. A few more inches, and I could have fallen into the pool.

I looked up angrily at the snickering girl who had frightened me. "Eleanor! Don't do that!" I scolded. I didn't expect her to be joining us, but she was in her bathing suit too, so she must be. Her bathing suit was mint colored with stripes. That surprises no one, I'm sure.

"Come on, Alvin." She teased. "It was just a practical joke. You used to like them."

"Are you swimming too, Eleanor?" Netta asked.

The blonde with the twin pigtails nodded. "Britt told me to keep an eye on you two and make sure there's no funny business."

I groaned. "Of course she did." It was clear that Brittany really hated me hanging out with Jeanette. Who else was I supposed to hang with though? Theo couldn't understand me. Simon was perpetually annoyed by me. Britt refused to accept that I had changed. If Britt wanted to hang out with me, she was gonna have to face facts. For the time being, Classic Alvin was truly gone. Whether or not he'd be back was still unclear.

Jeanette slid off the edge of the pool and dove into the water. "Come on in, Alvin. The water's fine." She beckoned. Her voice was like a siren's song. I couldn't resist.

I positioned myself to jump in, but before I could, I felt Eleanor's hand on my back. "Please don't push me in." I begged.

"I'm not gonna push you." The mint clad Chipette promised. "I just want to ask you a question."

I sighed. "Okay. What is it?"

"Have you been eating okay with the braces on? Or is it hard to manage?" She inquired.

Thanks for reminding me about these stupid uncomfortable things. I scowled. "I've been eating fine. It's hard to manage, but I do manage. In fact, I've been eating a LOT." I answered honestly.

She didn't look convinced. "Are you sure?"

My incurable curiosity took over. "Yes. Why are you asking?"

She looked at me closely. "You mean, you haven't noticed?"

I was frustrated now. I wanted to go swimming. She was holding me up! "What? What haven't I noticed?"

"You've gotten skinnier." She said softly. The ground felt like it was shaking. It wasn't actually shaking, but it felt that way.

I glanced down at my body. The bathing suit on me wasn't loose or anything. Maybe Eleanor was mistaken. Then, I noticed it. It was pretty hard to miss. My waistline was TINY! I've always had a slightly smaller waist than my hips. It's a fact I hate admitting, because I think it makes me look too feminine. Now, my waist had a definite and frightening indent to it, which only made my hips stick out more. Fantastic. (Sarcasm)

"Great. Now I'm gonna look as weak and wimpy as I feel." I moaned sarcastically, remembering how Simon mentioned that extreme stress can cause fluctuations in weight. "Like a skinny little nerd."

"You gotta start eating more and working out. It'll help you build up muscle tone." Eleanor flexed one of her chubby arms. It may not have looked like she had much muscle, but I knew that looks could be deceiving.

I slumped my shoulders. "Unless I can stop the stress, I'm gonna keep losing weight." I muttered.

"Exercise is a good stress reliever." Eleanor mentioned.

I didn't want to talk about this anymore, so I cannonballed into the pool. It was an impulsive decision, but it felt good. I swam up to Jeanette and playfully splashed her.

She splashed me back.

Eleanor did a swan dive into the pool, going underwater and then swimming back up to break the surface. I wished my physics powers had activated so that I could analyze her diving form and copy it. Then again, I would probably have to adjust it slightly to compensate for our differences in weight distribution. Urgh! No, I could not think about my weight. I'm not going to spiral.

Were my arms always this thin? Probably, yes. Now, I was scrutinizing every inch of my physical form. Overthink mode was turned on. How to turn it off? Quick, stare at Netta's beautiful face.

The beautiful girl in the purple and blue polka dot one piece smiled at me. "See? Isn't this fun, Alvin. You can still enjoy your summer. There's so much you can do."

Maybe there was. The busier I was doing fun summer activities, the less I'd naturally fixate on my destroyed face and scrawny body. There wouldn't be a reason to. My mind would be at full capacity trying to make fun summer memories. I'd wasted an entire month of summer already. I had two more left. That's two thirds remaining. I would make them count!

Jeanette showed me how long she could hold her breath underwater. Three entire minutes! She resurfaced and finally let her breath out.

"Whoah!" Warbie quipped, watching us while flying around the pool. "You must be part fish or something, Jeanette."

"Or a mermaid." I added. "That was stupendous!"

"That your new catchphrase?" Eleanor teased, splashing me with her feet as she swam by.

I pondered that. I did really like the word. And, people were getting pretty sick of hearing me say awesome all the time. Stupendous meant awesome anyway. "Yeah,.." I answered. "I think it is."

"Nerd alert." Warbie teased.

Jeanette doggie paddled next to me. "I like it a lot."

Pippi squeaked in agreement while resting inside a small floating life preserver thing.

"So, if your catchphrase is stupendous now, can I have awesome?" Eleanor's green eyes sparkled.

Jeanette did always say that giving things away helped you feel better about yourself. I didn't want to give any physical stuff away, but a catchphrase wasn't physical. Or at least, it wasn't tangible. "Sure, why not?"

"AWESOME!" The pigtailed blonde exclaimed.

I felt that barfy feeling again. I'd given up another iconic part of my character. And, I'd done it so flippantly. I regretted it, but what's done is done. I couldn't take it back now.

Following our time in the pool, I began hanging out at the treehouse more often. I wanted Jeanette to help me try more new things, so I could start crafting the guy I wanted to be. He likely wouldn't be anything like Classic Alvin, but maybe he could be even better. Alvin Enhanced! Alvin Upgraded! The New Version of Alvin! Or I could just stop being Alvin altogether and be Albert instead. That was also an option. I hated that option, but it kept popping in my head.

I was thinking about all this as Jeanette set a plate in front of me with some new food on it I'd never had before. There were these little cubes of white stuff that were browner on one side and kind of jiggly. Next to that, was a bunch of grainy stuff all mixed together with some peas to round off the healthy meal.

I poked at the jiggly bits with my fork. Maybe trying new things wasn't all it was cracked up to be. "What is this stuff?" I asked.

"It's tofu, and quinoa." Netta picked up one of her cubes on her fork and stuffed it into her cheek.

"Ewww." I shuddered. "Toe fu? Is it made of toes?"

She giggled and then shook her head. "No. It's a very popular vegan food."

"I'd rather eat birdseed." I gestured to the counter where Warbie was pecking at a cup of birdseed. Pippi was near him, munching blueberries and some sunflower seeds.

"It's very good." Jeanette took a spoonful of the grainy stuff. "And good for you too. It'll help you get your energy back."

I made a disgusted face. "I'll pass."

She pouted. "Please try it before you make assumptions." She insisted.

"Ah yes, because trying new things has worked out so well for me this far." I snipped sarcastically. "You can read all about it in my memoir entitled How Liking Physics Ruined My Life. Chapter 1: A Munk's Fall From Grace."

"Alvin…" The girl in purple tried to stop my tirade.

I pointed at my face. "Look at me, Netta! Look where all this trying new things has got me. As much as I enjoy it, maybe it's not actually good for me. Maybe if I stuck to my comfort zone, I wouldn't have sacrificed my looks."

She munched another cube of tofu thoughtfully. "Looks aren't everything."

"They are to me." I muttered, picking up a spoonful of peas because at least I knew what they tasted like.

Jeanette stared at me with pride in her eyes. "You're a lot more than just a handsome face, nice hair, and a bunch of random talents. You always have been."

That went against my instinct, everything I had taught myself. "I have?"

She nodded. "Remember what you told me?" She prompted. "That if I'm enough for me, I shouldn't care what other people think. Are you enough for you? Do you feel like you're enough for you?"

Did I? I frowned. "I still don't feel like myself. How can I be enough for me when I'm not me?"

The girl in purple sighed and looked down at the meal she'd been eating. "You'll get there again. Just be patient."

I felt like Jeanette was slowly giving up on me too. I couldn't let her do that. How could I make her happy again? Aw nuts! I had to try the crummy vegan food, didn't I? That would bring a smile to her face.

I started on the quinoa, because the tofu still creeped me out. I stuck a big spoonful into my mouth. "Hey, this isn't bad." I mixed it with the peas. That gave it more of a flavor variety.

She stood up and started taking her empty plate to the sink. "I knew you'd like it."

"Do I have to try the tofu too?" I asked, finishing the quinoa with peas in record time.

She shook her head. "I guess not. Only if you're ready to."

I closed my eyes and brought the wiggly white cube to my mouth. I popped it inside and chewed. It wasn't the best, certainly not as tasty as the quinoa. It wasn't terrible though.

"How was it?" The Chipette in the dark purple jacket asked.

I wasn't sure how to respond without revealing I wasn't a fan. "It's uh,…you know, it's food."

"Thank you for trying it." She slipped me a pack of fruit snacks made with organic fruit juice.

I smiled at her as I ripped the package open and devoured them.

After that, she tried to teach me how to meditate. I was horrible at it. I eventually got tired and just laid down on the couch, using my cyan jacket as a pillow. It was really soft and really cushiony.

I didn't actually sleep that time. I just let the thoughts whirl in my head. I may have drifted a little bit. The next thing I heard was Jeanette explaining things to her sisters.

"Alvin's going through a metamorphosis of self realization." Netta was assuring her sisters. "He's spun a chrysalis already."

Britt sounded aggravated. "He's not a butterfly, Jeanette. Butterflies are your thing."

"It's an analogy." Eleanor explained.

I opened one of my eyes and watched them from afar. Eleanor looked aggravated at Brittany, while Jeanette was calmly informing them about why I was such a sluggish and tired guy lately.

"Whatever. Can't he go sleep in his own house?" The diva Chipette grumbled. "Why does he have to invade our space?"

"Getting out of his house is good for him." Eleanor explained. "Though he still needs fresh air, if ya ask me."

Jeanette was still on the butterfly thing. "Did you know that caterpillars become goop in their chrysalises before they turn into butterflies?"

"Ewwww." Britt's face turned a little green.

"Awesome!" Eleanor sure had been making good use of the catchphrase that I gave her. "So what you're saying is, Alvin is goop?"

My brain currently felt pretty goopy. I just wanted to wrap myself in that cyan jacket and forget about looking for my personality. I was too tired to care. Nothing even felt real. Was I dreaming right now? I couldn't tell.

"Yes! Basically!" Netta was excited to share the facts with her sisters. "But he won't be goop forever. Eventually, he'll grow his wings."

I knew she was speaking metaphorically, but I really wanted to sprout actual wings so I could fly. I've always dreamed of being able to fly. It's a hollow dream though. Chipmunks can't fly. Not unless they use techy knowledge to create a machine that flies for them, like Simon's Munkmobile. My brain was too tired to come up with my own idea for a flying machine.

Brittany folded her arms and scoffed. "I am still lost."

Her youngest sister teased her. "You may wanna explain it in fashion terms so Ms. Breadstick IQ can understand." Oooh, Ellie, you little instigator.

"Eleanor!" Brittany fumed.

"Basically, what I mean is, Alvin's going to learn what he needs to learn very soon." Jeanette clasped her hands together. "And once that's happened, he'll grow back into himself."

Brittany let out a sigh of relief. Then, she frowned again. She still couldn't be convinced Jeanette hadn't ruined me forever. "How do you know?"

The girl in purple fidgeted with the bow hanging from her bun. "I just have a feeling."

I yawned loudly and rose from the couch. "Good morning, girls."

"It's like 7pm." Brittany huffed.

"Oh…" I grabbed my balled up cyan jacket and headed for the door. "Guess I probably should be getting home then."

"Unless you want to stay the night." Eleanor offered.

Her oldest sister glared at me. "He can't stay the night, Ellie."

"Why not?" Jeanette inquired.

I was inclined to agree with her. "Yeah, why not?"

"Because you're a boy. That's why." Brittany started to shove me to the door.

Wow, she really didn't trust me. "Britt, I wouldn't do anything bad! Honest! I barely even think about hot girls anymore! Plus, I know I'm too young for, you know, stuff like that."

Jeanette's clueless expression let me know she had no idea what I was talking about.

"Doesn't matter." Brittany used her incredible strength to shove me out the door. "A boy spending the night with three girls is inappropriate."

"But…but…Eleanor's spent the night with us before!" I protested. Why was that allowed if I couldn't do the same? "She even took over my bed."

"It's different. Now, get out…" Brittany grabbed Warbie and set him down outside the door too. "And take your silly bird with you!"

The treehouse door slammed shut. I hadn't even gotten to say goodbye to Jeanette. Why did Britt go from treating me as her friend to goof around with to treating me as a threat? I'd gotten sappier and more sensitive, but I was still just a bad boy with bad intentions in her mind.

"What's gotten into Brittany?" Warbie asked, perching on my arm as I walked down the treehouse steps.

"I'm not entirely sure." I admitted. "But I don't like it."

Warbie flew back to his birdhouse and I slipped my jacket back on as I walked into my own house. I still didn't understand why I couldn't stay overnight with the Chipettes. I thought I had proven myself a changed munk! I guess I still had a long way to go.

Theodore greeted me as I shuffled into the bedroom. "Did you find yourself yet?"

Urgh. I wished someone would ask me a different question. "No."

"Are you still looking?" The chubby boy in green asked.

Was I? "Not really." I admitted. I'd pretty much given up looking for Classic Alvin. All my searches came up empty handed. Maybe that weird 2D cartoon me was right. I'd find Classic only once I'd stopped trying to. "I'm just trying to enjoy my summer and I can worry about figuring out who I am when school starts up again." I informed Theo.

His brown eyes were watering a little. I could tell he was worried. "Oh….okay."

Then, Simon had to make me angry by immediately nagging. I'd been gone pretty much all day, smelling the flowers, eating grains, watching informative documentaries, helping Jeanette tend her garden, and of course, sleeping. The minute I'm back, I instantly get all the responsibilities piled on me AGAIN.

"I am very glad you're enjoying your summer at last, but you haven't done your laundry in a week. The basement is starting to smell." My brother in the blue T-shirt reminded me.

I got snappy with him. "I'll take care of it. I'm just waiting for the motivation." I didn't think the motivation would ever come, but I didn't tell him that part.

Theodore tapped his chin. "Maybe it's hiding the same place your sense of self is."

I rolled my eyes. "Maybe." I got changed into my usual pajamas (the ones with the winged guitar on them) and then decided to play videogames on my phone until it was officially bedtime. I had survived another day, beaten the odds, but I wasn't sure I'd last much longer as a living goop pile. I didn't even feel smart anymore. I felt like nothing.

The next day, I returned to the treehouse bright and early. Britt may have been able to stop me from staying overnight, but she couldn't ban me during the day. Things were going well. Jeanette was offering me some flaxseed energy boosting bars. Hopefully, once I ate them, I wouldn't be so lethargic all the time.

So I gobbled them up, thinking that perhaps that would trigger my Classic side to come back. After all, he was known for being a high energy individual. Well, it didn't give me any regular Alvin mojo, but it gave me a ton of Albert mojo. I wanted something to research! Something exciting! I just needed to figure out what that something was.

I opened those TV tropes and started absorbing as much information on superpowers as I could. It didn't have any practical application. It was just something I wanted to do, so I did it. I enjoyed it a ton.

It felt like I hadn't stimulated my brain enough in ages. Without Dr. Wilson's class, or school in general, all I had to stimulate me were Jeanette's lessons. Her lessons weren't exactly fun either. They made me feel extreme amounts of guilt. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Classic Alvin leaving me, may have been for the best.

"And you're studying again." Britt commented in her sassy tone as she entered the dining room. "Why am I not surprised?"

"You okay, dude?" Eleanor asked.

I must have looked pretty despondent. I decided I couldn't continue to pretend I was going to be okay. I had no idea if I'd ever be okay again. "You guys were right. I went too far. I changed too much." I squeaked. "And now I've lost my spark."

The girl in the teal colored jacket and lighter mint colored shirt sat down next to me. "What do you mean?"

I set my phone on the table. "I've forgotten how to be Alvin. I keep searching for the Classic Alvin impulses but…they aren't here."

"We warned you." Brittany looked at my messy hair in disgust. "I warned you the most."

I didn't want to say the next thing I said, but it made sense to me at the time. "I guess I'm Albert now. Forever."

The girl in the pretty pale pink sundress sniffled. "I guess you are."

"I'm gonna miss that inner rebel." I started to do more than sniffle. I was racked with full on sobs. "Oh great, and now I can't stop CRYING!" I moaned.

"Stop it." Eleanor ordered. "What happened to never giving up?"

"I can't fight it." I nibbled more of the flaxseed bar between my choked up sobs. "I'm too weak to fight it. Besides, Alvin was kind of a nightmare. I'm better off this way."

"Alvin was amazing." Brittany growled at me. "Now you're just a sad sack who mopes around researching random things and doing whatever Jeanette says."

"It's true." I sighed, getting up from the table. "But there's nothing I can do."

After I finished moping, I felt better. If I truly wasn't Alvin anymore, then I didn't have to fit any of the expectations of one. I could be whoever and whatever I wanted! Nothing could stop me! No one could challenge me! I was the biggest rebel of all, rebelling against my old personality.

I met up with Jeanette to help water Miss. Miller's flowers. Doing things to help others felt good, even though the task itself was boring. Things were less boring when you could allow your mind to wander around. There was so much to think about. The world was full of new experiences!

"Hello, Alvin!" Jeanette greeted me when I arrived, waving a hand with a gardening glove on it.

I knelt down by the hose and started to fill the watering can. "Hey, uh, about that…" Why was this so hard? "Can you call me Albert from now on?"

"I thought that name was only for your disguise." She looked puzzled.

"Me too." I lugged the heavy watering can over to the flowers. "It's just, lately, he feels more like the real me. So, I'm doing a little experiment, you know, testing the name out."

She tilted her head. "And you feel better using it?"

"I think so." I watered the petunias in Miss. Miller's garden. "At least, for now."

"And you know that you don't have to change your name to be a better person, right?" Netta poured a bag of compost out and spread it around the flowerbeds.

I nodded. "I'm aware. Like I said, it's only a test."

"Do you need any help with that?" She noticed me struggling with the heavy watering can. It might not have been as heavy before I got all skinny-ified. Still, she was thinner than I was all over. How did she expect to help?

"No, no. I've got it all under control." SPLASH! I tripped and the watering can tipped backward, soaking my beloved cyan hoodie. "Aw nuts."

Jeanette came running to help me, but she tripped too and fell in the grass.

I have to admit. The hoodie I was wearing was pretty toasty in the California heat. Still, this wasn't exactly how I wanted to cool off. My shirt with all the physics equations on it was soaked too. I needed new clothes, but I hadn't done my laundry in weeks. What a predicament.

Jeanette and I worked together to water the last flowers. She explained to me that when she fills the watering can, she never fills it up all the way. I internally fumed. How could someone who studies physics fail to realize I needed to only fill the can halfway instead of to the top?

Nevertheless, the mistake was made and my outfit was soaked. Even my jeans had taken a hit. I paced around the Chipettes' bedroom while Jeanette and Eleanor searched for something for me to wear.

Jeanette handed me her purple checkered shirt. She'd switched from wearing it to wearing a tie dye top with a peace sign under her hoodie on her last bathroom break. She was out of her skinny jeans too, opting for a dark purple skirt and periwinkle colored leggings.

I went to their bathroom and tried to squeeze myself into Jeanette's jeans, with absolutely no luck. I was skinnier, but not THAT skinny. At least her checkered shirt fit, and the flowiness of it helped hide my scrawny waistline.

I returned to the bedroom to report the news. "They don't fit. Got anything else."

Eleanor smirked and held up a pair of sapphire blue jeans with tiny rhinestone studs all over the cuffs. "You could wear these, but Brittany might kill ya." She teased.

"I'll pass." I shuddered. "But I do like rhinestones."

Jeanette sat down on her bed. "I'm sure there's something in here that will fit." She insisted.

"You could try these on." Eleanor held up a pair of galaxy patterned leggings. They were a mix of blue and purple with small hints of pink. "I bought them for Jeanette, but they were a size too large. They have a lot of stretch to them too." She demonstrated by stretching the leggings out. "Whattya say?"

I felt my fur bristle. I had been embarrassed enough. "Ew no. Leggings are for girls." I retorted.

Jeanette looked mildly annoyed at me. "I think they're for anyone who wants to wear them."

What WAS so bad about leggings anyway? They were just clothes. "Well….the galaxy pattern is…tempting." I admitted. "And part of my therapy IS trying new stuff." I was trying to convince myself, but I felt like my masculinity was being challenged, so I stood tough. "No, no, nevermind. I can't do it."

"Well…um…you don't really have much else in the line of pants until your laundry's done." Netta pointed out.

I groaned. "And I still don't feel like doing it"

Eleanor stood up on her bed so she could look down at me. "You dressed as Chantrelle Bulregarde and wore leggings then! It seemed like you liked them!"

"La la la la! I don't want to think about the stuff I did to win the Cutest Chipmunk contest." I plugged my ears. The wet jeans were uncomfortable, but leggings would be worse. I'm sure.

"Yeah. If you think about it, the contest is directly connected to his loss of popularity." Jeanette stated out loud to remind Eleanor.

"Sorry." The pigtailed blonde jumped down from the bed. She smirked at me deviously. "I'll tell ya what. I'll give you 5 dollars if you try the leggings on."

No fair! She was appealing to my moneymaking side! And the side that never resisted a challenge! "Hmmmm." I rubbed my chin.

"Come on, Albert." Eleanor urged.

I sighed. "Okay, I'll try them."

And so, I did just that. I slipped on the leggings in the privacy of the Chipettes' bathroom. Oh my gosh! They felt INCREDIBLE! It was like wearing the bottom half of a superhero suit! I danced around in them, twirling and leaping like a lunatic. Screw gender roles! Leggings and I were now best friends!

I raced out of the bathroom and leaped onto Britt's bed. I had to tell her sisters what I'd discovered. "THESE ARE THE MOST COMFORTABLE THINGS I HAVE WORN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE AND I AM NEVER TAKING THEM OFF!" I shouted.

Jeanette looked at me strangely. "Well, you have to take them off to wash them eventually."

I was barely listening. I was giddy with excitement again. "I don't even care that they're PURPLE! Purple is a great color! Like cyan and magenta and chartreuse…and crimson and gold." I felt an ache in my chest. "I miss the crimson and gold."

Luckily, Eleanor had the perfect solution. She held up a red T shirt with a yellow lightning bolt on it. "I bought this Flash T shirt for Britt as a gag gift after she took 3 weeks to remember to clean the kitchen like she promised." The youngest Chipette quipped. "You interested? Britt HATES it."

I found myself in an even more excited fit of laughter. "It's like Sheldon's! I love it! I'll take it!"

I slipped off Jeanette's purple plaid button up shirt and put the flash T shirt on instead. I didn't feel quite right now without the button up, so I slipped it back on overtop of the flash shirt, leaving it unbuttoned. It felt cuddly, like Jeanette was hugging me and telling me I would survive.

Suddenly, a thought I'd never had before crossed my mind. Clothes didn't have a gender. They were just differently structured pieces of fabric! I could still identify as a guy and wear literally anything I wanted. I could wear any color I wanted! Currently, I was digging the different shades of purple, along with my typical crimson and gold.

"You look…uh….unique." Eleanor told me, taking in my new outfit ensemble.

"I'm free." I murmured. "Free of any rules or restrictions on the way I look. I can wear whatever I'M comfortable with! Haha!"

Jeanette grabbed my hand. "Doesn't it feel groundbreaking?"

"Yes!" I jumped around, still holding Jeanette's hands.

"Can one of you wash my jacket for me?" I asked, holding up the wet and pungent smelling cyan hoodie.

Eleanor took it from me. "I'll take care of your clothes this once, but don't expect me to do it all the time." She warned.

"Gotcha." I squeaked.

The youngest Chipette left, which meant Jeanette and I were alone again. I climbed up onto her bed and looked through her bookshelf. "Got anything else to teach me? Maybe more about what I can do to help protect the planet?"

Her midnight eyes sparkled as they usually do. "Lots!" She exclaimed.

"Stupendous!" Ohoho! That new catchphrase was growing on me.

Jeanette taught me a lot more about green energy and renewable resources and all that jazz. Then she taught me about a process known as fracking. I must say, I didn't glean much from that final convo.

"Fracking is the process of injecting liquid at high pressure into subterranean rocks and boreholes. It's used to force open existing fissures and extract oil or gas. It is terrible for the environment…" She babbled. "Wait, why are you laughing?"

I tried to cover up my giggles. "No reason. Fracking just sounds a lot like another certain F word."

"What F word?" She asked, quizzically.

I frowned. "An F word I can't say. Uh, does fracking have any other definitions?"

"It's also used to emphasize or express annoyance with someone or something." Netta told me sweetly.

I rubbed my hands together like an evil supervillain. "Excellent."

She went back to teaching me the lesson, but my mind was now preoccupied, spinning with the many uses for the word frack that I could think of.

Eventually, it was time to return home again. I walked through the front door with a semi-confident swagger. I was still wearing the makeshift outfit Britt's sisters and I had cobbled together. I stood face to face with Simon and Brittany herself. I wondered what she was doing at my house, then I deduced it was likely to escape having to observe me and Jeanette.

Simon's eyebrows shot up when he saw me. "Why are you wearing Jeanette's clothes?" As I predicted, that was the first observation he made.

"Laundry still ain't done." I reported. "Plus, I don't really care what I look like anymore….or what anyone thinks of it." And that time, it was true! It had taken a while, but I was finally over my looks. Completely.

I heard Brittany whisper something in Simon's ear. "I told you. He's getting worse."

Simon shook his head. "It's a natural reaction to the trauma."

The girl in pink lost it. "HE DOESN'T CARE WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE ANYMORE!" She screamed.

"My name's also not Alvin anymore." I informed them. "At least, for the time being."

My brother looked more concerned now. "You…You gave up your name?"

"For a little bit, yes. Figured I might as well, until Classic Alvin shows up again." I darted away from them and ran up the stairs. "Anyway, I've gotta get ready for bed. Laters!"

I reached the top step and turned back around to look at them. Simon fainted into Brittany's arms and Britt was carrying him. She sure is impressively strong for her size. I wanted to research her.

And so I did, the very next day. I put my plan into action. I asked Britt if I could join her and her sisters on a shopping spree around town. As expected, she wasn't receptive.

"This is a girls day out. It's only for us girls." The diva Chipette insisted, standing there in her pink tank top and lighter pink ruffle skirt with matching sandals.

"Okay, then just pretend I'm an honorary girl." I suggested.

"No, Albert." She hissed.

Eleanor stepped forward, wearing a mint green tank top and striped lime green and darker forest green shorts. "He can have my spot."

"WHAT!?" Brittany fumed. "But, Eleanor!"

"You know I'm not a big shopper anyway. Besides, I got a lot of things on my to-do list today." The girl in green put a hand on my back and pushed me toward Brittany. "Trust me. You'll like this Alvin. He's fun. He'll do anything you tell him to, without talking back."

I would? Had I been doing that? That seemed very wrong. Every fiber of my being deemed it wrong. Why did I let myself become such a pushover? I didn't even say anything to Britt. I just politely waved. She looked as sick as I felt.

"Fine. He can take your spot." The leader of the Chipettes mumbled. She knocked on the door of the bathroom. "Jeanette, are you done in there yet? I want to get to Sugar and Spice before their half off sale ends!"

I couldn't resist elbowing Brittany. "I see you're startin' to get thrifty too."

She rolled her eyes. "In your dreams. I just want double the cute clothes and accessories."

"Maybe I'll pick up some more leggings." I commented, knowing it would annoy her. It felt good to mess with Britt, like that was a part of me that couldn't be erased, even without Classic Alvin around.

Brittany furrowed her strawberry blonde eyebrows. "You disgust me, Albert."

The bathroom door opened and out stepped Jeanette. She was wearing her tie dye peace sign top and a pair of pink and blue ombré leggings. Her purple jacket was tied around her waist, err, hips? She was built like a rectangle. Forgive me for not knowing which haha. Her amethyst gem butterfly pendant gleamed as she strode out into the sunlight. She was GORGEOUS!

"Sorry it took me so long." She pointed to a braid done up and wrapped elegantly around her bun. "I was trying something a little different."

"You look absolutely positively stunning." I said impulsively.

"It's nice, sis. Definitely beats Albert's rats nest." Brittany pointed to my hair.

I winked at Jeanette. "We are more than our looks."

"We are!" She clasped my hand, but Brittany quickly broke us apart and stood between us.

Britt held my hand tightly and also one of Jeanette's. I could tell she still didn't trust me around her sister. Fine. Be that way. I'm invading your precious girls day with my manliness, so FRACK YOU! Deal with it.

A little while later, the shopping spree wasn't off to a great start. I only found one thing I wanted and Britt tried to rip it out of my hands because she said it was hideous. I bought it anyway. It was a red, orange, and purple plaid shirt that had similar vibes to the purple one I was wearing.

I wound up sitting on a bench in the dressing room with Jeanette while Britt tried on approximately 200 different outfit combinations. (Yes, I'm exaggerating. It felt like that many.)

My physics hallucinations turned on out of nowhere and I watched Britt carry exactly 20 boxes of shoes. That was strange. My powers couldn't make sense of it. Brittany herself only weighed as much as 6 shoe boxes. Plus, how could she balance all 20 like that. It was like they were weightless to her!

I continued to watch her, in between my idle chats with Jeanette. Something even STRANGER occurred. Brittany just lifted an entire shopping cart full of clothes that people tried on and then discarded, being too busy to put them back on the hangers. The cart was in her way and instead of just walking around it or pushing it to the side, she just straight up lifted it above her head and set it down behind her. Weird.

There was no doubt about it. I'd known Britt was stronger than me for years. She could easily best me in a wrestling match and she has before. But this was new information. Brittany's strength DEFIED THE LAWS OF PHYSICS! That's when every piece of information about supernatural abilities I'd gathered in my brain started to swarm. Could it be? Of course! We were mutants created in a lab. It all made sense! Brittany Miller, and presumably the other five of us, HAD SUPERPOWERS!

"What are you staring at?" The ornery Chipette snapped, noticing me looking at her with a strange new fascination.

Oof. How do I tell a realist like Brittany that she has the makings of a comic book superhero? "Nothing." I answered. "I'm just, uh, you know, staring into space, thinking about stuff. Such is my curse."

Jeanette had wandered off to go look at all the jewelry. I was alone with Britt. Oh no! I was alone with Britt.

"It's not a curse." Brittany put her hands on her hips and strutted around in the frilly fuschia ball gown made for a human baby. "It's a spell. You're under Jeanette's spell!"

I shook my head. "No no no. Jeanette didn't curse me. The universe cursed me."

Britt frowned and then opened her mouth ever so slightly, producing a barely audible… "What?"

"It's taken some time, but I have figured it out." I had had an awful lot of time in bed to mull things over. I had a pretty solid theory. "The universe hates that I'm actually using my brain. It's changing me on the outside every time I improve myself, to try and force me to stop. That's why I got the concussion too. It tried to wipe out my sciencey side and failed." I explained, standing up on the bench in the dressing room. "It won't be happy until I am back exactly where I started. But, I won't let it drag me back! Unfortunately, that means it'll probably continue to change me and I have no idea what's coming next." I admitted, suddenly feeling that wave of awkward nerd energy.

The beautiful Chipette in pink sighed heavily. "Don't you think it would be easier to just go back? Instead of fighting to be something you were never meant to be?"

Good question. I needed a solid rebuttal. I didn't have the same ironclad debate skills as Simon. However, I came up with something. "Maybe I was never meant to be this way, but it's who I WANT to be. I think that's more important."

Britt got angry. I could have easily foreseen that. Pretty much anytime I talk now she gets either sad or angry. "But you're throwing all of our dynamics all out of whack!"

"I know!" I climbed down and faced those intimidating ice blue eyes. "But I also know that somehow, I'll get through this." I was trying to convince her as much as I was trying to convince me. "It would mean a lot to me if you would stand by my side through it all, like Jeanette's been doing."

"There you go talking about Jeanette AGAIN." Brittany rolled her eyes.

I shrugged. "She really has helped me."

"I still think she's broken you beyond repair but…" Britt's voice trailed off.

Summoning the pitiful and weak, yet adorable creature I had become, I gave Britt a Theodore grade puppy face. I quivered my lip and looked as sad as possible.

"I…I can try….to s…support you." She choked out, against her will.

I gave her a friendly smile. "Thank you."

The rest of the shopping spree went smoother. We stopped at quite a few places. I don't even remember the names of them. Then, we all returned to the treehouse and watched a rom com together. I fell asleep during it, but it was fun while it lasted. I'm kinda bummed I didn't get to know how it ended. Would the lovers who met at summer camp ever find each other again?

More days went by, and Britt started allowing me to stay the night, as long as I promised to sleep on the couch downstairs. I agreed, since their couch was really comfortable and because I could definitely see how they wouldn't want me sleeping in their bedroom. I respect girls being wary of guys, plus with my horrible acne rash thing, I probably looked like an older teenager in their eyes. I was still a tween. I knew that in my soul. I just didn't resemble one on the outside anymore. I think the glasses added a couple extra years to my appearance as well.

Anyhulahoop, I was getting along great with Jeanette and Eleanor, while Britt was still creeped out by my presence. The summer had turned out different than she expected and it was throwing her out of whack. I understand how that feels, but it was no excuse to mock me for being a "clone" of Jeanette. I wasn't a clone of anyone. I did everything. I was everything! I even cooked dinner with Theo and Ellie one night! Would a clone of Jeanette do that? No. Jeanette's not a very good cook.

One day, Jeanette and Eleanor surprised me with brand new pajamas that they'd made especially for me. The top was cyan and red faded ombré style. It had a glow in the dark electric green alien head! Just like the pin I got from Dr. Wilson. It also said BELIEVE on it, in matching glow in the dark letters. The bottoms were baggy, the way I liked them, but they were made from a nice soft material and they had planets and stars all over them. They were a deep rich blue, uncomfortably close to Simon blue, but it didn't matter. I was over caring if people compared me to anyone else, for the time being.

"I love these so much! Seriously! You are the best!" I gushed.

"I designed them and Eleanor sewed them." Jeanette squeaked timidly. "We used the same pattern as your old PJs, so they'd be nice and loose."

"And still fit when you're no longer a beanpole." Eleanor teased playfully.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I exclaimed, wrapping them both in a group hug. "I will treasure these forever."

I slipped my brand new PJs on and got ready for bed, thinking of everything new that I'd tried out that I'd been too stubborn to try before. As much as I missed my old life and my old name, being Albert all the time was pretty cool. I didn't even have to hear Dave yell at me, because I wasn't home very much these days.

I missed Theo and Simon a lot, which gave me a stellar idea! I sent off a quick text inviting them to hang out at the treehouse tomorrow. I knew eventually I would need to return home no matter what, but for now, I was basically on vacation.

I could have been doing what Jeanette suggested and putting all my personas together by combining the traits I loved from most of them. I would do that, eventually. It just seemed like so much work. Studying possible superpowers we all might have was way more enjoyable. I had motivation for that. Maybe if Classic Alvin ever showed up, I'd get motivation to look for my real, true, self. For now, Albert was here to stay.

Chapter Text

SELF REFLECTION

Genius-Alvin's POV

I sat at the patio table outside the treehouse, waiting for my brothers to arrive. I fidgeted with the rubix cube Jeanette had given me. Eventually, Brittany came outside to join me, sitting down to sketch something in her outfit idea notebook.

"Looks, uh, how would you say it? Fabulous." I squeaked, my voice oddly nasal today.

She closed the notebook and studied me, pink nose twitching. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Positively splendid. Why do you ask?" I sniffled. Great, I'd caught Jeanette's allergies? Was that possible?

"Your voice is weird." She said, putting her hands on top of the notebook. Why was she so secretive about those drawings?

"Well, it matches the rest of me." I laughed with a snort, disturbing Britt even more. "Can I see your designs?"

Brittany hugged the notebook to her chest. "They're girly designs. You wouldn't like them."

"Sure I would." I responded, twirling the rubix cube. I still couldn't manage to solve this thing. I'm pretty sure it was defective. "I've been getting in touch with my feminine side. Maybe I could be a fashion designer someday" I added.

She got up from the patio table with an annoyed huff. "Are you TRYING to steal everyone's things? Do you get some sick pleasure out of it?"

I shrugged. Things didn't bother me the way they used to. "I'm just broadening my horizons. You don't own fashion design. You're not the only person with that talent." I leaned closer to her and whispered. "But I know another even more unique talent you possess."

"You're possessed." She retorted.

Eleanor and Jeanette came out to sit at the patio table along with me. Brittany leaned over the railing of the treehouse balcony, maybe watching for Theo and Simon to arrive. I had told the Chipettes they were gonna visit.

"Oh, feel that beautiful summer breeze." Jeanette exclaimed.

"It's perfect weather for a game of baseball." Eleanor tossed a baseball up and down in her hand. "How 'bout it?"

Brittany snatched the baseball from her. "Stop throwing that thing. You'll break a window."

"I'm not really in a baseball mood." I yawned. It was pretty early. "I'm in more of a guitar playing mood, or a skateboarding mood, or a gaming mood." I sighed sadly. "Or a singing mood. I miss singing."

"Yeah. We miss hearing you sing too." Eleanor ruffled my hair. I didn't mind since it was pretty much always a mess these days.

"Dave really wants to get a new song released soon." Theodore joined the group.

"I have an idea for one." I said, fishing out a crumpled piece of paper where I'd written down the lyrics to There's No Rock And Roll On Mars. Technically, it came from my dream and from another me, so this wasn't cheating, right?

They looked over the lyrics. "This is actually fire." Eleanor commented.

"I like the rhyme scheme." Simon quipped.

"It's space themed again." Brittany sighed. "I guess there's no getting away from that."

Theodore smiled at me. "I really like it."

Jeanette gave her signature nod of approval.

I frowned. "Wish I could sing it with ya."

"Try your voice again." The Chipette in the purple tie dye shirt urged. "You have rested it for most of the summer."

"Yeah! Maybe it's back!" Theodore squeaked excitedly.

I stood up from the chair and closed my eyes. "There's no rock and roll on mars. There's no beat, among the stars. You can plainly see, the earth is the place to be, cuz there's no rock and roll on mars!"

"Alvin, you're a little flat. Watch it." Simon teased playfully.

I sat down at the table again and covered my face with my arms. "I'm not a LITTLE flat. I'm a LOT flat. My singing voice is STILL flat as a pancake! And it won't go back to normal." I moaned.

"You just stole my analogy!" Theo complained.

"He's lost his mojo." Brittany mused.

Simon frowned, looking at the way I was dressed, still in Jeanette's clothes and the flash T shirt. "He's lost more than that."

I picked my head up. "I'm STRESSED." I told them forcefully. "Stress is messin up my vocals. I've never been this stressed in my life. I've been having fun and yet I am STILL stressed."

"I have an idea." Eleanor waved her hand, but everyone ignored her.

Britt folded her arms and leaned against the railing. "Maybe you'd be less stressed if you were yourself again."

"HELLO! I HAVE AN IDEA!" The usually invisible Chipette repeated.

Simon covered his ears. "Eleanor, quiet down."

My other brother in green also had his ears covered. "She has an idea."

"What's your idea?" I asked her, making a mental note of how even I struggled to notice her words until Theo pointed out what she was saying.

Eleanor smirked at me. "How messed up CAN you make your voice?" She asked, a glint in her green eyes.

I rubbed my arm awkwardly. "Currently? Pretty messed up. Why?"

"There's a song verse for an alien, right? You can be the alien with your new nerdy nasal flatness!" She announced, pigtails bouncing as she jumped up.

"Hmmm. That might work." I replied. "Everyone will think I'm just doing an impression, and not that my voice is still broken! Eleanor, you're AMAZING!"

She high fived me. "This is why you people need to listen to me more."

A little while later, I changed into my cool new alien themed PJs and Eleanor gave me a pair of neon green alien antennas on a headband. I met up with everyone in the music room and we recorded the song. We would have done a music video, but I wasn't exactly video ready.

The Chipettes, Simon, and Theodore started off singing. I wished I could have joined them, but I knew I'd get my chance again once I finally got less stressed.

“He came from far away

The answer to our dreams

Telling stories of strange places

That not many yet have seen”

They were really getting into it. I'm sure if the other Alvin were here, the weird cartoony one, he would be cheering them on. They were doing GREAT!

“He's traveled near and far

Yes, he's came a long, long way

If you ask him why he's come here

This is what he'd say”

Simon was basically lead for the song, which bugged me a lot, but it made sense given that he also likes space-y stuff. It would have been too weird to have it be Theo or Britt.

“There's no rock & roll on Mars

There's no beat among the stars

You can plainly see, the Earth is the place to be

'Cause there's no rock & roll on Mars”

They all finished the chorus and Dave gave them the signal to start the next verse. I was bursting with anticipation. My part was coming up.

“Now outer space is cool

But it's lacking music fuel

And the galaxy is neat

But it lacks a driving beat

The quiet and the calm

Are exactly what some need”

I put on my most nasal voice possible. It was like three times as nasal as my weirdly off key new voice. Temporary new voice. I gotta keep reminding myself it's just temporary.

“But an alien like me

Needs a rockin' melody”

I could tell they were all trying very hard not to laugh.

“There's no rock & roll on Mars

There's no beat among the stars

You can plainly see, the Earth is the place to be

'Cause there's no rock & roll on Mars”

Dave even sang a bit for the next part, though he planned to mess with his voice later via the audio software he uses. Now that I'm a genius, I could probably figure out how to use that software.

“There's no rock & roll on Mars

There's no rhythm on the stars

There's no rock & roll on Mars

There's no rhythm on the stars”

I danced around looking like a complete idiot in my PJs with the antenna headband on my head. Did I care? No! This was too much fun. Then, it was time for me to muster up the ultra-nasal voice again.

“My folks are quite upset

I'm an embarrassment indeed

They had plans for me to be

The leader of a galaxy

They just don't understand

I've had a driving need for thirst

To become a rock musician

On this planet they call Earth”

Once I finished, the rest of the group took over singing the chorus again. I'd made it through. I hated the idea of being a mere backup presence to give the song flair, but in practice…maybe it wasn't so bad.

“There's no rock & roll on Mars

There's no beat among the stars

You can plainly see, the Earth is the place to be

'Cause there's no rock & roll on Mars”

Once we finished, we played some softball together in the backyard. It wasn't actual softball where we kept score or anything. It was mostly just taking turns smacking the ball off a tee and seeing whose ball went the farthest. The winner was Brittany, much to Eleanor's dismay.

"How are you doing that!?" The disgruntled blonde in the teal shorts and seafoam T shirt with a dark teal star on it, threw her bat on the ground.

Brittany picked up the bat and leaned on it, sassing her sister. "Natural skill."

"She's right." I blurted out, racing around the backyard in the galaxy leggings I'd changed into following our recording session.

"Natural skill, my furry tail." Eleanor huffed.

I nodded. "And you're also right."

Brittany swung the bat over her shoulder. Her form was very sloppy. "How can we both be right, Dweebus? Oh, are you a therapist now too? Come to help us argue less or something?"

Haha, I was dressed an awful lot like Jeanette, but no. "It's very simple." I took a deep breath. What I said next could change the way Brittany felt about herself and the way everyone else felt about her as well. "Brittany has superpowers."

"What?" The other five Chipmunks echoed.

"Superpowers." I repeated. "Her strength is super strength. It defies the laws of physics."

The diva in the bubblegum pink off shoulder T-shirt and sky blue shorts wheezed with laughter. "I do not have super strength."

"My research doesn't lie." I rambled. "In fact, I think we all have superpowers."

Jeanette raised her hand meekly and then backed up my point. "My ability to talk to animals has always felt like a superpower." She squeaked. "Or like magic."

"Oh cool!" Theodore scampered over to me. "Have you figured out my power? Or just Brittany's."

"Just Britt's so far, although Eleanor's seems to be unwillingly turning invisible at random." I snickered.

The youngest Chipette smiled at her sister. "Brittany, hand me the bat."

Her big sister obliged and then I found myself running away from Eleanor as she chased me down, waving the softball bat. "It wasn't even a joke!" I shouted. "I'm serious."

Simon got in between me and Eleanor and managed to stop the feisty chick. "Settle down, you guys." He scolded. "Now, let's stop this nonsense once and for all. Superpowers aren't real."

"Your super memory is kinda like a superpower." Theodore pointed out.

"I can prove they're real." I squeaked adamantly. "Just give me time. I can collect the data and everything."

"I thought you said you had no interest in becoming a scientist." My taller brother frowned.

I rolled my eyes. "I don't. I just want to prove superpowers exist." I called over to Brittany. "Lift something really heavy, Britt. Show Simon what you can do."

The Chipette shook her head. "No way. Albert, you have gone nuts."

"I'll let you test me, Alvin...I mean, uh, Albert." Theodore offered.

Jeanette stood next to him proudly. "Me too."

And so began my research. Jeanette got me data on all the animals that she could understand and explained to me that she could also sense their emotions. Her data didn't do much to help prove things to Simon. It was basically her word against his.

The data collected from Theo was much more promising. He always said he thought he had stronger senses than average and the tests proved it. He could pick up even the most subtle flavors. His hearing was as good as a bat's. His nose could track down a scent as easily as a bloodhound.

"Oh, Simon!" I walked proudly into the closet lab a few days later. "I have officially proved that Theodore has SUPERPOWERS."

"We'll see." He looked at the results of my tests and gasped.

"Haha! Told! You so!" I grinned.

Simon ran to locate Theo. "Theodore, did Alvin actually test you or did he fudge the data?”

"It's true, Simon." My baby bro jumped on his bed happily. "I have supersenses! I wish he fudged the data though. Fudge sounds really yummy."

Simon turned around to glare at me and I just smiled proudly back.

The next day, I enacted a plan to videotape Brittany using her super-strength. I put her precious hairbrush underneath my hot rod and set my phone camera up to record her. By which, I mean, I had Eleanor hide in the bushes nearby, holding my phone.

"Where's my hairbrush!?" The pink clad girly girl poked me in my skinny chest.

I put my hands in the air. "I took it to try and manage my crazy hair. Then I dropped it and, oops, clumsy me, kicked it under there." I pointed under my hot rod.

Brittany laid down and tried to reach the hairbrush. After a couple attempts, she got very angry. She picked up my hot rod and hurled it across our driveway. Then, she reached down to reclaim her precious brush.

"Wowza!" I exclaimed.

"Take it again, and I'll toss you next time." She warned, walking away with a confident wiggle.

I was mesmerized. My plan worked! She fell right into my trap. I'd gotten her on video! I parted the bush where Eleanor was hiding. "You got that recorded, right?"

"Yup!" She handed me my phone. "Cuz I am AWESOME! Nobody's as sneaky as I am."

My poor hot rod was pretty dented, but I could fix that later. I had other modes of transportation anyway, like my skateboard.

I ran away as fast as I could, hoping to show the unmistakably factual evidence to Simon. Unfortunately, I hadn't counted on Brittany being with him.

"Simon, Simon, I gotta show…." I raced into the living room with my phone in hand. I saw the Chipette in pink and stopped dead in my tracks. I needed a good lie and FAST. "…you this cool new app I downloaded."

"What kind of app is it?" Brittany asked, not moving from her spot on the couch, or sounding interested.

Think, Alvin, think! "It lets you play chess virtually! I can play it with Jeanette while doing a bunch of other stuff! It's not boring anymore!" I switched my phone screen from the video to the Chess Master app I downloaded.

"I already know that app exists." Simon sighed. "It's been on my phone for ages. Is that all you needed?"

"Uh, well, pretty…pretty much." I admitted.

"Are you going to come home soon?" My brother asked, looking at me with sad eyes. "Theo and I made your bed for you and did your laundry."

"I dunno. I'm really digging hanging out with the girls." I replied honestly. I felt like I had to be honest after lying to cover up that I'd taken a video of Britt without her permission.

Britt couldn't resist taking another jab at me. "I bet you are, Jeanette number 2."

I placed a hand on my hip. "And by the girls, I mean Jeanette and Eleanor, because this one doesn't care about me AT ALL."

"I care more than you'll ever know." Britt growled, looking devastated.

"It's true." Now Simon was defending that spoiled diva? What a world! "In fact, Brittany's raised several concerns about your, err, improvement. We're both afraid you might be falling into a pattern of mimicry to avoid self reflection." Aw nuts! He figured me out.

If I stayed any longer, this convo would get really uncomfortable. "Anyway, I gotta run. Jeanette's gonna teach me how to read hieroglyphics and I'm gonna teach her to speak Klingon." I babbled quickly.

"Alvin, or Albert or whatever you wish to be called. You can't run away from your problems. You have to face this identity crisis head on if you have any hope of getting through it." My brother warned.

Britt was aghast. "You speak Klingon now!?" She shrieked.

I folded my arms, keeping my phone in my hand. My outfit had no pockets. "It's an alien language, so YEAH. I spoke it as classic Alvin too."

"This is a nightmare." Brittany moaned.

Simon just watched me leave with that extra judgmental look on his furry face. He knew what I was up to. He knew I had no intention of actually doing the hard work to pull the broken pieces of me back together. Jeanette had given me instructions like my teachers would for a homework assignment and I was procrastinating.

I felt FINE as Albert. If I felt okay like this, there wasn't really any point in fixing it until I DIDN'T feel fine anymore. That was my interpretation anyway. All my attempts at locating Classic Alvin failed, so what else was I supposed to do?

That evening, I helped Theo and Eleanor cook a lovely spaghetti dinner for everyone. We all sat down at the table to discuss plans for the last week of summer. It was hard to believe that it was almost over already. I'd done a lot of things at least! There were hikes, trips downtown, shopping sprees, camping (well, technically glamping) in the backyard, pool days, library days, lots of skatepark trips, gardening, and just lounging in a hammock, enjoying the simpler things in life. Even though I wasted a fraction of it, all in all, my summer was still worthwhile!

"Well, fellas and girl fellas, who's up for a trip to the carnival to celebrate our new hit single?" Dave asked the group of us.

"I am!" I shouted, as everyone agreed with me. Ohoho! Who knew my freaky alien voice would be a hit? Eleanor I guess.

"I can't wait to ride the Ferris wheel!" Simon announced.

"I can't wait to avoid the Ferris wheel at all costs." Jeanette added with a good natured giggle.

Theodore swallowed his mouthful of spaghetti. "I can't wait to eat yummy cotton candy!"

"Careful." Eleanor teased. "Eat too much and it might start coming out your ears."

Brittany narrowed her eyes at me. "Are you still into carnivals?"

"Uh, yeah." I twirled my fork around the plate of spaghetti. "Tons of physics at work."

The Chipette in pink groaned angrily.

"And I also like the rides. They're exhilarating!" I wiggled in my seat.

Later, as I was helping Dave clean up, I got a bit of one on one time with my dad. I expected him to grill me about hurrying up to decide who I was, but he didn't.

He washed off a plate with a towel and handed it to me, so I could quickly put it away. "Are you ready to come home yet?"

"I'm not sure, Dave." I answered. "As soon as I feel like it."

"Why don't you feel like it?" My dad asked.

A good question. I had to soul search a bit for the answer. "Because this is Alvin's house. I'm not really Alvin anymore."

"You're still my son. You're still Simon and Theodore's brother." My father sighed. "We all miss you. It's not the same without you."

I looked down at my red and purple outfit. "It wouldn't be the same with me here either." I frowned. "Not like this."

"I suppose you're right. I guess I just thought I'd have more time before you left home." He frowned.

"Me too, dad." I felt a pang of sadness. As much as my family drove me crazy, I needed them. "Eventually, I'll come home. I promise. I'll figure out who I am. It's a whole, process."

He nodded in an understanding way. "Remember, you don't have to be perfect. You just have to be you."

"Got it." I put a few more dishes away. This was probably one of the best talks I'd ever had with my dad. We weren't fighting or screaming at each other. We were just…existing in the same space.

Carnival day arrived and I was ready. I couldn't take my phone with me, because I had no pockets. Girls clothes SERIOUSLY need pockets. No wonder Ellie loves cargo shorts so much. Anyway, I gave my phone to Dave and prepared for a day of no worries and only insane amounts of fun!

"Remember, we have to stick together." Simon reminded us. "And did everyone remember to apply sunscreen?"

"Dude, we have fur." Eleanor remarked.

My brother in blue lathered sunscreen all over his arms. "You can never be too careful."

I wished I had brought my cap. The sun was really bright. I could have used the shade. "Which ride are we gonna go on first?"

"The Tilt A Whirl!" Eleanor squealed with glee.

"Oh, uh…" Jeanette glanced at a small pavilion with a concession stand and a picnic table. "I might sit that one out."

"Come on, Jeanette." Brittany insisted. "You only puked once and that was years ago."

"If she doesn't feel like riding it, she doesn't have to." Dave reminded Brittany.

I got another brilliant idea in that unstoppable brain of mine. "Hey, uh, Netta." I told my similarly dressed and almost equally purple companion. "Could ya try it if I made sure I ride next to ya? Cuz, well, uh, I tried a bunch of stuff for you this summer."

She got all flustered. "Oh, I dunno." She squeaked. "What if I puke on you?"

"You wouldn't be the first." Theodore commented with a giggle. "Cuz that was me."

"It would be an honor to be your barf bag." I joked, winking playfully at the cautious Chipette.

Brittany made gagging sounds and I ignored her.

"Well…." Jeanette grabbed my hand and we walked up to the Tilt-A-Whirl together. "Okay."

Turns out, she didn't puke! We had a whole lot of fun being twisted and spun every which way. Theodore didn't even puke, but he did put earplugs in to block everyone's screaming! Brittany looked bored the whole time. Simon just closed his eyes.

We rode a few more rides together, like this one where you laid on your belly on hang glider things. We rode like three different rollercoasters and a couple more gentle paced rides to balance it out. I puked after the first rollercoaster, which was odd. I puked again after a few more rides too.

"Are you getting sick, Alvin?" Theodore asked me, as we approached some of the booths to play games and win prizes.

"No." I rubbed my queasy stomach. "I don't know what's up with me."

"No one does." Brittany commented bitterly.

Eleanor's green eyes twinkled. "Actually, I do, but you're gonna hate it." She warned me.

"Lay it on me." I challenged the twin pigtailed chick. "I can take it."

"So, you guys know how I studied sports injuries when I wanted to be a doctor, right?" She began.

Everyone looked at the mint clad girl, totally lost. None of us knew this.

"Seriously? Urgh, fine. Anyway, sometimes when people recover from concussions, their bodies can't take a lot of intense motion anymore. They get sick from it." She patted my back.

I felt sicker. Was she right? I gulped. "You mean…I can never enjoy carnival rides the way I used to again?"

Dave came in with the save. "Of course you can." He assured me. "You can take medicine before you ride them to prevent motion sickness."

"That's a thing!?" I was overjoyed! My life wasn't ruined after all.

Dave's phone started to ring. He looked at the caller ID. "Urgh, it's work. I have to take this. Stay right here and don't wander off. Especially you, Al…bert." Pretty sure that last part he said out of habit only.

We stayed by the carnival games and I spotted something fun to challenge Brittany to. It was one of those strength measuring games, where you had to whack it with a mallet to ring a bell.

"Oh, Britt-Brat." I teased playfully, drawing from the few bits of the old Alvin that remained. "Bet ya can't score higher on the strength test than me."

Her strawberry blonde tail bristled. "You already know I can."

Ohoho! Exactly, but this would be the first time Simon got a load of her impressive ability. The best part is, she would be outing her superpower on her own, without me deviously recording her.

"Show me!" I challenged again, picking up the mallet, which was absurdly heavy and swinging it down onto the platform. It barely made it to the one third mark. I was such a weakling! Granted, I always had been. By chipmunk standards I was quite strong.

Britt, on the other hand, was strong by human standards. "You asked for this." She quipped.

"Go Brittany!" Jeanette and Theo cheered together.

Brittany swung the mallet and the bell rang loudly, causing Theo to plug his ears.

Simon's eyes went wide. "You really DO have super strength!" He gasped.

"Wait, what?" Brittany glared at me as she realized what I did. "ALVINNN!"

"That's not my name." I reminded her.

"How on earth?" Simon sat down in the grass. "Is this possible?"

"She's like the hulk!" Theodore exclaimed.

I laughed loudly. He was kinda right. At base level, she was strong. If you made her angry, she got way stronger.

Britt raised a fist. "If you compare me to the hulk one more time, I will punch you."

"You're making it really hard not to compare you to him right now." Theo replied.

The Chipette in pink put her hands on her hips. "And how would you know that?" She fumed.

"Hey!" My baby bro squeaked. "Superheroes are the one geeky thing that I know a lot about!"

"Oh." She softened a little. "Well, uh, as long as it's a compliment."

The carnival game person told Britt that she won a stuffed plush animal of her choice. She chose a beagle puppy plush and then gave it to Theo. It was really sweet of her. She was like me, or like I used to be, rough on the outside and soft inside. You just had to dig deeper to uncover her softness.

Next, Eleanor and I played a game where you could pop darts with balloons. Then, Simon tried to get a ring around a bottle. Theo did this duck pond guessing game and won another plushie. This time it was a hamster. I swear, Theo's got all his luck and all my luck too. Because my luck is rotten.

Dave wasn't back from taking his phone call yet and I could feel the boredom brewing. It was like a lava pit in my stomach.

"Why isn't he back yet?" I moaned. "He's wasting our day."

"Be patient. It's probably a very important phone call." Simon advised.

Eleanor sat on the grass beside Simon. "Or he forgot about us." She muttered.

"Perhaps we could wander, if we don't wander too far." Jeanette suggested.

"Maybe just across from here?" Theodore proposed.

Simon planted his feet firmly on the ground. "You all can do whatever you want. I'm staying right here."

"Suit yourself." I scampered toward a sign that said Fun House. "Come on, team."

"Who made you the leader?" Brittany asked.

"It just feels right." I reasoned.

She frowned at me. "Alvin's the leader. You're Albert now, which makes me the leader."

"Does not." I argued.

"Does so." She retorted.

"Would you both knock it off?" Surprise! Simon had joined us.

I smiled the dorky new smile I'd acquired. "What happened to "I'm staying right here?"

"I have to keep an eye on you." He reasoned. "You need someone well prepared to balance out all your…entropy."

"You realize I know what that means?" I asked, smiling wider.

"I do." Simon continued to follow our posse to the Fun House

Brittany scoffed. "I don't." She said angrily.

We all entered the crazy place and tried to balance on a moving platform. After that, there were loads of stairs and also some ramps to run up and down. Since the place was built for humans, we had to be extra careful. I wasn't as careful as I should have been and almost wound up with my toe caught in the moving platform. Luckily, I pulled it away at the last second, but it was too close for comfort.

I was enjoying the Fun House. I felt like an intrepid explorer leading my team of adventurers into the unknown. Until, I was face to face with the one thing I'd tried my best to avoid all summer.

I wished I had registered my friends and family's warnings before I ventured into that horrible section of the fun house. I could have closed my eyes and let them lead me through.

"Oh no, you guys!" Eleanor was the first to realize what was coming.

Simon's voice was the next one I heard. "Wait for us, Albert!"

"Watch out for the…" Theo shrieked. It was too late. I was already looking into one of the treacherous things. "Mirrors." He finished.

It was a maze of mirrors. I had assumed since I didn't see it from the outside of the Fun House, I'd be safe. Not so. It was here. Hidden inside this whole time. My reflection mocked me from every angle, showing me what a mess I'd turned into.

I faced one of the mirrors head on. I had to get out of here! I couldn't let myself start caring about the way I looked again! I couldn't! But it was no use!

I had to look at myself, really examine myself from every angle. As I stood there, capless, blemished, with dorky glasses and shiny braces, wearing clothes that weren't my own,…Jeanette's clothes, I started to sob. Who was that guy? Was this really who I was now? Was this who I wanted to be?

Why had I let myself turn into Jeanette!? No wonder Britt kept mocking me! Nobody could recognize me anymore. There wasn't anything Alvin about me. I couldn't even recognize myself.

My hair was less brown at the roots than before. That was good. It was also getting longer. It tickled my ears. I guess when you spend a whole summer not giving a frack about your appearance, ya get fun little surprises like that.

I pressed my hands against the mirror and sobbed even harder. Everything felt nightmarish again. Simon was right. I couldn't just spend time pretending to be someone else. I needed to find the real Alvin again. Maybe once I found him, I wouldn't have to fear mirrors anymore. People would know me again. I wouldn't feel like a stranger in my own life!

"Is that really me? That can't be me!" I wailed.

"Urgh, could you not do this here?" Brittany asked, trying to rush me along. "There's a whole lineup of people who need to get through the maze."

"Brittany, he's having a mental breakdown." Simon snapped at her. "Could you have an ounce of compassion?"

"Well he picked the worst time to have one!" The Chipette in pink said, standing on the step near the start of the Maze Of Mirrors.

Eleanor and Jeanette both swung into action.

Jeanette grabbed my hand. "There there, Al. It's okay. It's all part of the process." I figured she had called me Al because she wasn't sure if I still felt like being called Albert or Alvin.

"The universe HATES ME!" I sobbed.

Jeanette rubbed my back tenderly as Eleanor showed us both the way out of the awful mirror maze. "The universe doesn't hate you."

"LOOK AT ME, JEANETTE! LOOK AT ME!" I screamed like a banshee while still crying. "If this isn't solid proof the universe hates me, what is?"

"You're more than just your looks. Remember? What counts is on the inside." She squeezed my hand even tighter.

I shut my eyes and leaned into her.

"This way, guys." I heard Eleanor's commanding voice. "You're almost out."

"How could I do this to myself?" I moaned. "I miss being Alvin."

"Alvin never left you." Jeanette assured me. "You've been him this whole time."

"I have not." I muttered.

"And you're out." Eleanor poked my back. "You can open your eyes now."

I opened my eyes as I exited the Fun House and of course the first thing I saw was Dave, face boiling red with anger. I cannot catch a dang break.

"I told you to stay put." Dad shook his finger at me.

"I'm sorry." I blubbered. "I'm really sorry. I just…got bored."

"You'll have to be easy on him right now, Dave." My favorite Chipette in her beautiful purple tie dye top cautioned.

"Why? What happened?" Dave knelt down closer to me.

Eleanor caught him up in a few words. "Mirrors. Mirrors happened."

"I'm sick of pretending to be someone I'm not." I wiped my tears. "But I still don't know who I am."

Brittany, Theo, and Simon came out of the Fun House.

"Maybe we should head home." Simon suggested.

"No way!" Britt argued back. "I'm not giving up my fun day at the carnival just because Albert's a wreck."

"I can go wait for you guys in the car." I offered.

"And I'll go with him." Jeanette said, protectively slipping her arm around me.

"Nevermind." Brittany changed her tune suddenly. "There will be other carnivals."

I frowned. "All I am gonna do in the car is nap. I swear."

"I'll go with the two of them." Eleanor offered. "To make sure they aren't smooching."

Me smooch Jeanette? Hard pass. "There won't be smooching!" I shouted. "Why doesn't anyone trust me!?"

"You know why!" Brittany snapped.

"If the other three of you still want to enjoy the carnival, then it's okay with me." Dave tossed the car keys at Eleanor. "I hope you feel better, Alvin."

I glanced at Jeanette's kind face. What would I do without her? "I think I'll be okay."

Ells, Netta, and I walked back to Dave's car. Netta and I did most of the talking while Eleanor observed us, watching us, as Britt expected her to.

I slipped the purple plaid button up off. "You can have your shirt back." I held it out for my generous friend.

"Keep it for now." Jeanette insisted. "I have plenty of other clothes. This'll give me a chance to experiment with a new look!"

I looked at the shirt in my hands. "This isn't my style though…not that I really…have a style anymore." Suddenly, a thought dawned on me. "Maybe I should start experimenting with my look too. Find what speaks to the new me?"

"Great idea!" She fidgeted with the gummy rubber friendship bracelets on her hands. "Although you should wear your cap again. You've been sad ever since you took it off."

"Oh I will! As soon as I can!" I tied the purple plaid jacket around my hips. "I just...can't right now for….reasons."

"I don't understand, but I support you." Netta assured me.

I brushed away a messy strand of hair that had fallen over my glasses. "Hey, uh, Netta, thank you for being my shoulder to cry on…and for teaching me to be sensitive."

"You're very welcome." Those irresistible midnight eyes gleamed.

Eleanor watched us with a puzzled look that morphed into a sly smirk. Clearly, she thought we were madly in love. But we weren't. At least, not yet. Likely not ever, since I was pretty much promised to Britt by management. Urgh.

Onto a happier topic, with my breakdown past and me officially on the mend, Jeanette and I started to put together our new looks. We spent the last week of summer gathering a bunch of stuff to try on. She bought a lot of tie dye stuff, and some long flowy boho skirts and peasant tops.

By far, my favorite of her new outfits was a lilac colored dress with a layer of sheer shimmery fabric and some three dimensional shimmery butterflies sewn onto the dress. She wore a stylish jean jacket over it and added that hypnotizing little bow on a dangly satin cord that hung from her messy bun. And, she even let me bat at her bow and watch it swing around! She was the BEST!

As for me, I went back to combining crimson, gold, and cyan in most of my looks. I kept my beloved plush cyan jacket, my rainbow sneakers, and my iconic T-shirts with the letter A on 'em. I got a brand new cyan shirt with a light bulb on it, a crimson vest, and a bunch of assorted graphic Ts with science and math sayings.

I started wearing my jeans again, including the pair with the paint splatters, but occasionally I'd put on the galaxy leggings too! Because why not!? They fit my whole crazy space enthusiast aesthetic.

I also kept Jeanette's plaid shirt for those gloomy days when I needed a hug. Oh yeah, another thing, I was staying in my own house again. I missed hanging with the girls, but it felt good to be back. Yep. Everything was evening out again.

Except for the fact that I still didn't have a handle on my personality. I still didn't know who I was deep down. I knew what my sense of style was now, but I still didn't know anything else! It was maddening!

"I hate this backpack." I said, setting the black backpack with the skull and guitar crossbones on it down on the Chipettes' dining room table. "I need a new one."

"Alvie, no!" Brittany looked horrified. "You love that backpack!"

"It doesn't fit my new vibe." I reasoned.

"I think I have just the thing!" Jeanette left the room and returned with a scarlet backpack covered in rainbow colored paint splatters. It had straps that were made of a glittery scarlet fabric. Sure, it wasn't crimson, but it was perfect!

I took it from her eagerly. "Where did you find this?"

"On one of our shopping sprees." Netta smiled. "I've been saving it. I was going to surprise you on the first day of school, but now works too."

"Dibs on your old backpack." Eleanor snatched the black one off the table and slipped it on her back. "Oh yeah! I could get used to this."

I chuckled. "Go ahead, Ells." I slipped on the new backpack. It was amazing.

Stubborn old Brittany HAD to wreck it. "Why do you have to keep changing EVERYTHING!? Your clothes, your hair, your backpack, your pajamas? None of this stuff is you! It's all part of the guy Jeanette's TRAINING you to be."

"Huh?" I felt an ache in my chest. "No, that's not right. That's not true. I like this stuff. I LIKE THIS STUFF!" So many thoughts were whirling in my head.

Jeanette handed me a notebook and a shiny crimson colored pencil. "I think now would be a good time to finally do some self reflection."

"I…I don't know how to start." I admitted.

"I told you. Find the facets." She repeated that weird advice from a long time ago.

"Yeah, I know that, but like, am I supposed to write it out? Like a brainstormy mind map thing?" ZAP! CLICK! I knew exactly what to do. "Wait a sec, I AM supposed to write it out!"

"I don't know what's happening." Brittany commented as I rushed upstairs to the Chipettes' bedroom.

"Me either." Eleanor continued to flex her muscles while wearing my old backpack. "But I think whatever it is, it's gonna be good."

Jeanette joined me in the bedroom and sat down on the floor, looking up at me with hopeful eyes. I knew she would be patient, but I didn't want this to take all night.

I sat down at Brittany's vanity and started to give the gears in my mind a huge workout. I took each persona I created and wrote down the traits I loved the most about them in the notebook.

Shockingly, I found patterns. I guess that shouldn't be so shocking, but for me it was.

The Dark Shadow the superhero, Lorenzo Lorenzo the secret agent, Dargo from Brothers Of Dagarack, Captain Copperhair the pirate, my cowboy persona called The Chipmunk Kid…. They were all leaders! They were savvy! They honed their crafts and they owned it! They had confidence, a sort of effortless cool. They were also REALLY smart! They had to have wits about them in order to do what they did. Rescue citizens! Pilot a spaceship! Collect treasure! Round up lil' dogies! Crack enigma ciphers and save the world!

Classic Alvin had a bunch of traits I loved, that everyone else loved too. He was athletic, musical, passionate, creative, comedic, persistent, adventurous, and most of all, a rambunctious dreamer for whom anything is possible.

Mr. Manners and Albert represented my softer side, my geeky, nerdy, bookworm, responsible, compassionate, and polite side. He wasn't any less me than Classic! He was an excuse for me to show that side of me without having to ADMIT it was me! Apparently I was also secretly a fan of sweatervests? Weird.

I dove deeper. There was Chantrelle Bulregarde. She liked glitter and makeup and leggings. She represented my usually untapped feminine side. Similar to Albert and Mr. Manners, she was an excuse to let that part of me shine too.

But I didn't need to be her to be feminine! I could just be feminine on my own! I could be a bookworm! A geek! An athlete! A Rockstar! I could be ANYTHING I wanted! Whenever I wanted! The problem was, stupid people would STILL say I wasn't Alvin anymore unless I stuck to only being Classic. Bummer.

"I know my personality now!" I kissed the notebook and handed it to Netta. "I'm all of this, but above all else, I am an ideas guy, the leader, but also the brains."

"You always knew who you were." She looked at what I had written in the notebook. "It was inside you all along."

"Yeah, but, if I choose to be all this…" I frowned. "Everyone will struggle to get used to it. I'll still struggle to get used to it. Maybe it would be better to keep all these personas, you know, separate."

She got up from the floor and patted my back again. "Who you are doesn't depend on others. You are the only one who can decide who you are and who you want to be."

I sighed. "But what if who I want to be…..isn't Alvin?"

"But he will be! Because no matter what you turn out to be, you ARE Alvin. Nobody can take that away from you." She looked deep into my eyes. "You're Alvin, you're also Albert, you're even, uh, what was your girl persona's name again?"

I flipped my slightly longer hair, imitating Brittany. "Chantrelle."

"You're her too. And she's also an Alvin." Jeanette jumped up onto her bed. "You are anything you want to be, as long as you feel happy and fulfilled, that's all that matters." She declared.

And FINALLY, FINALLY, my oblivious brain got the message. At last, I had actually found myself…even if he wasn't the person I expected him to be. "Okay….yeah….that….that makes sense!" I stammered.

Jeanette looked giddy, she played around with an owl plush toy on her bed. "So what do you want to do now?"

I hadn't known until she asked that question. Once she did, my latest desire was revealed. Boy, was it a doozy. "I want to get my own library card." I stated proudly. I did. Me. Not Albert. Not anyone else. Me. Alvin Seville!

"Really?" Jeanette looked surprised, but also excited.

I was both excited and terrified. The next words just spilled out of my mouth without me holding back. "Yeah. I want to fully claim my identity as a nerd!" Whoah! No! Slow down, buddy. "Err, you know, half nerd." I added, because I was still a TON of other stuff.

So there we were, at the local library. It was a lot larger than the school library. I stood in line waiting as the librarian made me my very own nerd identification tag. My palms were sweating, my mouth was dry. Calm down, Alvin! I yelled at myself. People do stuff like this every day. Besides, this card is a marker of how far you've come. Be proud of it!

"Alvin Seville." The nice lady with the silvery hair called my name. Jeanette gave me a small nudge.

I walked up to the counter with more nervous energy than a prisoner headed to death row. My rainbow shoes squeaked on the polished floor. My cyan jacket that was tied around my waist swished rhythmically with every stride. I was wearing one of my usual letter A shirts proudly. It helped give me some confidence back, even if I didn't have all of it.

Okay, I think I've stalled enough. I took the library card in my hands. It didn't have my picture on it. I was afraid it would have. I don't know why. Simon's and Jeanette's didn't have their pictures either. What it did have, was my name. I was Alvin again, not that I'd ever really stopped being him.

"Thanks." I walked away from the counter, turning the card over and over in my hands. What was I so scared of? Having a library card felt FANTASTIC! No more borrowing Simon's or Jeanette's! No more sneaking around to borrow books with no one knowing it was me. I didn't need to hide who I was, at least not locally.

Jeanette quietly tapped just her pointer fingers together. That was a library thing called quiet clapping. "You did it." She whispered.

I showed her the card proudly. "Yeah. I did it."

"NOHOHOHO! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!" Oh, hi, Classic Alvin. I was wondering when you'd get back. He'd appeared in the window of the library. I didn't wanna make a scene, so I quickly shut my eyes to make Classic Alvin vanish. He did, but the physics hallucinations were back.

Nevertheless, I didn't let that stop me from checking out some books with my brand new library card. I got a few books about mutants with superpowers. I didn't go nuts, since I knew I'd have to remember to return them. Jeanette checked out a book on astronomy and one about birdwatching. Then, we went back to the treehouse to read them at the patio table.

The next morning, I rolled out of bed ready to take on the world. I even got brave enough to look in the mirror again. My face felt less itchy! Maybe that meant my rash was cleared up! Fingers crossed!

Yes! My face was nearly clear! There were a bunch of tiny bits of the rash still spread all over my cheeks, but they could easily be mistaken for freckles. The braces and glasses still bugged me, but I'd made peace with them. As long as I could still eat candy, the braces weren't so bad. Sure, taffy and caramel were off the table, but I wasn't as into those as gummies and Nerds anyway.

My hair was actually a little past my ears now. I decided to continue to grow it out. I wanted to see how long it could get. Oh! And the best part! The darker brown roots were gone! My hair was ONE color again! WAIT, A SECOND! This isn't the same color I had before!

My hair was ORANGE! Not as bright orange as Kevin's or Cheesy's, but substantially more orange than copper. I sighed. No, you know what? I was DONE nitpicking my appearance. Save that for other people. I looked GOOD!

I was less vain about it now, but I knew I looked good. I would grow to like my new look. If it changed again, I'd simply grow to like it again. I was also looking forward to showing off my new outfits when I got back to school. New looks for a new school year.

"Oh my gosh." Simon got a load of my new look as I exited the bathroom.

"I know, I know." I had just finished restyling my hair with gel, but it was still a little bit messy in places. "I look like a carrot exploded."

"What did you do? Try to dye it?" He questioned.

"Nope." I pointed at my hair. "It did this on its own. But, ya know what this means?"

"That you're officially a redhead?" He couldn't stop staring.

I smiled widely. "I can wear my cap again!"

I ran to my room and put my cap on over my mildly messy hair. "Ohoho! I missed you so much!" I exclaimed.

Theodore caught me talking to my cap. "It's good to have you back, Alvin." He squeaked.

With school coming in just a few days, I decided to try and come up with a better system for doing my homework. I used what I knew about raising my sugar intake and how gaming provided me with a similar boost to devise a little…test.

"What are you doing?" Dave came inside the house and immediately caught me playing my games and stuffing my face full of gummies and Nerds candy.

I kept my hands on the controller. "I'm running a very important experiment, Dave." I responded, pausing the game to down another helping of Nerds.

He didn't sound convinced. "Using videogames?"

"Simon and Jeanette failed to teach me to use my brain, but I have an idea." I said as I shot a missile right into a zombie hoard in the game World War Z.

Dave stepped in front of me, blocking my view of the TV. "That requires candy and videogames?"

I rolled my eyes. "I know it sounds suspicious. Just hear me out." Since Classic was officially back, so was my signature attitude.

"How about you turn off the games and try meditating?" My dad suggested.

"No." I moved my head to see around him and killed a few more zombies.

Dave sat down in a chair, frustrated with me once more. "Why not? Simon uses it to clear his head."

Simon groaned, entering the room. "Don't even try it, Dave. He won't agree."

"I've got a better system! It's all part of the experiment!" I insisted.

"You're doing an experiment? Since when do you come up with your own experiments?" My brother in the blue tank top and darker royal blue hoodie looked at me suspiciously.

"It's just one." I said quickly. "I'm not gonna become a scientist person or anything."

"What hypothesis are you testing?" Si asked, crossing his arms.

"It's uh…kinda unexplainable." I responded, pausing again to munch more sweets. Give me that motivational brainpower!

He couldn't figure me out. Neither could Dave. "Huh? What do you mean?"

Luckily, I had mostly figured me out. "I mean you'll both think it's stupid. But it's important to me, so…. I'm doing it anyway." I replied with my "attitude."

That made them both give up and leave me alone. My experiment turned out to be a success! I was full of so much motivation afterward that I breezed through all my chores. Dave was pretty surprised. Just goes to show, maybe I know me better than most other people do, even if there's still a few things about me that make no sense whatsoever.

Unfortunately, due to my excessive candy consumption, I eventually had to lie down and nap. My energy levels hit 0 again. I couldn't imagine doing this every day after school. Maybe smaller doses? It would be a less potent effect, but at least it wouldn't result in this.

My dream, or nightmare, or, I'm not exactly sure what to call it, was absolutely bonkers. I was dressed in a sharp looking crimson suit with a gold A and cyan accents. My braces were gone, but the glasses were still there. I was sitting in the audience at some kind of award show, next to Brittany of all people. What was she doing here? That fuschia dress with the slit in the side and flowers around the bodice was super hot though.

"Why did you bring me here?" She asked, very rudely.

I shrugged. Given I didn't know where "here" was. What to say? Oh! How about? "I thought you'd enjoy the fashion."

"Simon deserves this award. Not you." She sneered. That should have been a clue as to the nature of this award, but I ignored it.

I rolled my eyes. "Ah yes, because Simon's the best at everything." I scoffed.

"This is his thing. You can't do Simon's thing. You promised you wouldn't." Brittany looked devastated, as she often did these days.

"Times are changin', Britt." She tried to grab my hand, but I pulled it away before she could.

I watched as the announcer strutted onstage and read out the award recipient. "And the award for most Innovative Scientist goes to…Alvin Seville!"

I raced onstage to accept my award. Then, I realized what I was accepting. ME A SCIENTIST!? There had to be some mistake. I was dreaming about being a scientist!? Oh no! This couldn't happen! I promised Simon I wouldn't! It was like no matter how hard I tried to hold on to my Alvinness, it was all slipping away.

The scene around me started to crack apart, then it all glitched like pixels on a videogame screen. "Most Innovative Scientist!" The voice boomed again.

"No! Please!" I screamed. "There has to be some mistake! I just study physics! That doesn't make me a…"

The scene around me glitched to a dusty old lab, my fancy suit changed into my cyan labcoat. My hair under my cap was an unruly mess. Oh no! No! I had to get out of here!

Brittany opened the door of my lab and stared at me. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Britt, no! It's not what it looks like!" I pleaded. "This is a nightmare! That's all! This isn't me! This is not what my future looks like!"

She sighed. "If this is your life now, you're gonna need a lot of hair gel, Alvin Einstein." She turned her back on me and slammed the door.

I woke up, startled. What did the dream mean? Did I really WANT to be a scientist? I did use the scientific method a lot. I even used it frequently when scheming. AW CRAP! I guess I did want to be a scientist.

Jeanette had mentioned that the deeper I connect with my true self, the more shocking things I'd find, but this? My brotherly relationship with Simon might go up in flames. I'd be more of a rival than ever before.

I'm supposed to be the lowly lab assistant, but I wanted to be a leader. Scientists were leaders of their own projects. I couldn't sing at the moment, though I had no doubts my voice would return soon. Still, it couldn't hurt to branch out on a second career path.

The more I thought about it, the better it all fit. I couldn't hide it either. I'd risk hurting Simon and Britt even more if I did. What would Jeanette think of Scientist me? Did she know that new passion had sprung up following Dr. Wilson's class. Because, hey, if someone like Dr. Wilson, who was a troublemaker like me as a kid, could be a scientist, then I had the potential to be one too!

Following my intense period of more self-reflection, I called a family meeting. There was only one day left until school started up again. I needed to let everyone know exactly what sort of Alvin they were going to be dealing with from here on out.

"Gather round, gather round. I have a big announcement to make." I said, with cautious excitement.

Brittany looked at me from her spot on the couch. "You finally decided to stop this phase and be yourself?”

"Yes! Actually! Yes! I have, at long last, decided on the kind of person I'm going to be. I have a good handle on the new personality that has developed within me." I rambled.

The Chipette in pink groaned. "Oh crap."

"Fair warning, he isn't gonna be who anyone thinks. In fact, I was pretty surprised by it myself." I laughed nervously. At least my voice was sounding less nasal today.

"Spit it out already, Al. We haven't got all day." Eleanor complained.

"What's your new personality like?" Simon asked, I could detect worry on his face.

I took a deep breath. "Well, uh, I'll start with the classic Alvin traits you know and love. I'm still musical, creative, athletic, rambunctious, dramatic, messy, a risk taker, though less of a risk taker than I used to be." I paused to give them time to respond. No one did, so I kept talking. "As for my new traits, I'm now analytical, a bookworm, open-minded, mature, innovative, compassionate, nerdy as heck, sensitive, verbose, tenacious, and a lot less vain, though I must admit my new looks have grown on me." I gestured to my face with my hand.

"The orange hair has grown on you?" Brittany raised a brow.

I nodded.

Jeanette stepped forward to wrap me in her warm embrace. "You sound like the best version of you that you can be."

"It's all thanks to you." My new freckled cheeks grew hot.

"Congratulations on making it back to being yourself….your new self, that is." Dave sounded confused, but he accepted me.

Theodore smiled a gappy tooth grin. "We'll all adjust to it." He promised.

"You do you." The mint clad Chipette winked.

Simon nodded in agreement. I could tell he didn't think my crisis was over. Which, it wasn't exactly, but the worst of it seemed to be.

Britt slumped her shoulders. "URGH. Okay."

Excellent. They were all cool with this. Now, for the biggest reveal. "There is one more thing, and uh…this surprised me most of all." I confessed.

"What is it?" Eleanor looked intrigued.

Here goes. No turning back. Once these words are out, no one will look at you as Classic Alvin ever again. I was warned internally by good ol Me.

"I want to be a scientist." I put my hands on my hips like Superman does.

The room was silent. Several pairs of eyes stared at me.

Then, Simon broke the silence by loudly shouting. "OH COME ON!"

Yep! This school year was sure to be a rollercoaster. I was starting over, basically. I was stuck at the bottom of the popularity food chain. I wasn't Classic Alvin anymore, but I wasn't Albert either. Actually, wait, I was them. Like Jeanette said. I was BOTH of them. I could be both of them and anything else I could dream up.

I'd accepted the invasive nerdiness that flowed through me, molding me into my best self. I'd gotten less superficial. My looks were still important to me, but I also knew that they didn't define who I was. I could be more than a perfect complexion and super styled hair. I could wear clothes that I liked, whatever felt comfortable to me. Who cared if it was trendy or masculine enough? Yawn! Boring! Everyone was correct. I did, in fact, lose my mind, but I think I gained a better one.

Alvin's new PJs that the girls made him!

Chapter Text

CALL ME THE ALV-INNOVATOR

ALVIN: Alright, Si! I'm gonna let you pick up where we left off.

SIMON: Oh, I don't think that's a good idea. I thought I was narrating for the next chapter.

ALVIN: Surprise!

SIMON: (heavy sigh) Alright.

ALVIN: Trust me. Everyone needs your perspective on this!

SIMON: I suppose so.

Simon's POV

WHAT!? Alvin CANNOT be a scientist! He promised me he wasn't interested! He PROMISED! Science was my thing! Sure, Jeanette has dabbled a little, but she's not as interested in inventing things as I am. She's more interested in re-inventing people apparently.

Alvin could not just waltz in and take my role in the family from me. I was perfectly fine with him liking physics and getting better grades. I had begrudgingly grown to accept that my troublesome brother was pretty much never going to return to the way he was. But this? This crosses the threshold into territory that I am NOT fine with. Something is wrong here. Very very wrong.

My older brother stood there, dressed in jeans with paint splatters on the bottom of them, a red T shirt with a rocket on it, and the apparently now iconic cyan jacket with the shiny alien head pin. His shoes of choice were still the white sneakers that he'd defaced with marker doodles. He was a befuddling enigma. That fact was certain. At least he'd moved past the phase where all he'd wanted to wear was Jeanette's clothes. That had creeped me out something fierce.

"Simon, that was very rude." Jeanette scolded me.

I didn't know what to respond, so I just stood there, still in shock.

Alvin glared at me with his bright blue eyes. "Of course you object to it. That's fine. I expected as much."

"I also object!" Brittany waved her hand in the air.

"I'm very confused." Theodore whimpered, hugging himself in the kelly green T shirt that said Throw Kindness Like Confetti on it. "Not that that's anything new."

I finally found my voice, and boy it was rather loud. "You can't be a scientist!" I shouted.

"Why not?" The red capped chipmunk challenged. "And your answer better not be "because you're Alvin."

"Because…..Because…." Oh no. He'd predicted exactly what I was about to say. "I'm going to need a minute." I muttered, embarrassed.

Alvin sounded offended. "Wow."

Searching through my mind as if it were a computer database, I came up with a reason. "Because you have no idea what it entails."

"I could learn." My frustrating brother argued.

I sighed. "I doubt it."

Alvin walked closer to me. "I learned everything else, Si. I am sure I could pick up on how to invent stuff." He insisted.

"Wait, you wanna be an inventor too? Not just a scientist? An inventor?" Theodore asked, starting to look as worried as Brittany and I.

The Chipette in the ruffled light pink to darker pink dress growled at Alvin. "Stop trying to be like Simon! It's creepy!" She said.

I had to admit, at this point, I agreed with her. Alvin was taking his whole Genius thing too far. It would only end badly for everyone involved. Unfortunately, I was involved.

"Stop telling me how to live my life!" Alvin shouted. "Inventing is my passion now!"

Every time I think he can't get more annoying, he surprises me. "It can't be your passion because you haven't even tried it yet!" I retorted just as loudly.

Theodore covered his ears. We had recently discovered his ears were extremely sensitive compared to the rest of ours. "Everyone! Stop yelling!"

"Wow, so much drama in one family. Let me just say….it is an honor to watch it unfold." Eleanor couldn't resist adding to the chaos.

"Eleanor!" Brittany elbowed her sister.

"Hey! Cut it out, Ms. Muscles." The smaller girl rubbed her ribcage.

"Don't call me that!" Brittany pouted. "You know I hate being reminded of my super strength." That was another recent development. Alvin had figured out that Brittany was stronger than we all thought. He insisted we all have a power. Jeanette's is talking to animals and Eleanor's is being invisible without actually being invisible (although he has yet to prove it.)

Alvin can "see" physics, so I suppose that's his power. He didn't have the ability until he got a concussion that rattled his head so much that he temporarily forgot learning physics. I'm honestly quite jealous of that skill. I can only begin to imagine what it's like.

As far as my power, nobody knows exactly what it is….if I even have one. Am I kind of upset that my brother's the one who figured all this out? You bet I am. I'm the scientist in the family. If anyone could have figured out that we have LITERAL SUPERNATURAL POWERS, it should have been me.

Of course, I didn't really believe in the supernatural. Alvin always has. I suppose him figuring it out does make sense. Oh no! He better not be right about aliens existing too! That would really put a crimp in things.

Dave looked suspiciously at Brittany. "Super strength?"

"Oh Alvin didn't tell you?" Theodore asked, jumping out of the chair and running to sit in Dave's lap. "He figured out we all have superpowers."

"Well, not all of us." Eleanor corrected. "Brittany, Theo, and Jeanette." She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her teal colored vest.

"I'll explain everything later." Alvin promised, turning the conversation back to focus on him, which was his favorite pastime. "Right now, I need help. I know this is weird and really out of character and nobody wants to help me, but…"

"I can teach you how to invent things, Alvin." Jeanette offered.

She looked so innocent, sitting there in her light purple tank top and darker purple skirt. Did she know what she was doing? All the agony her lessons had caused Alvin?

I frowned. "Don't you dare. You have taught him plenty."

"What if we both teach him together?" The exuberant Chipette declared.

I felt my frown deepen. There was no way I was getting out of this. Was there? "I'll only agree to that if you stop feeding him candy all the time." I said rather coldly.

"Jeanette, have you been feeding him too much candy?" Oh no. Dave wasn't too happy about that reveal.

"It helps him focus!" Jeanette protested.

Alvin nodded frantically. "It does!"

Dave folded his arms and gave both of them his sternest expression yet. "It's not healthy."

Alvin started to whine. He'd changed so much, but he still couldn't change the fact that at his core, he was a spoiled child. "I eat plenty of healthy stuff to balance it out. She got me addicted to qweenwa!" He babbled.

"Quinoa." Jeanette corrected him, before I could.

The red capped munk rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that."

"Well, I still want you to cut back on the candy." Our father declared with a lot of force.