Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Domain Expansions. The pinnacle of jujutsu sorcery. To fully materialize one, a jujutsu sorcerer had to expand their innate domain into the outside world, enclose it within a barrier that was virtually impenetrable from the inside, and imbue it with a cursed technique to ensure absolute lethality. It was an ancient art form that few had ever managed to learn, much less master. Throughout the centuries, there were less than a hundred individuals recorded in history who were capable of creating a fully-formed domain. Of those domains, there were two that stood out amongst the rest.

One of them was Ryomen Sukuna's Malevolent Shrine. He was the first sorcerer who had managed to manifest an open domain that didn't require a barrier to enclose it. A feat equivalent to painting on a canvas of air. It required an intrinsic understanding of jujutsu sorcery that modern sorcerers couldn't hope to replicate, elevating the domain into the realm of the divine.

The other was Gojo Satoru's Unlimited Void. Gojo's domain was special, not because of its perfect refinement allowing him to reign supreme in virtually every domain battle, nor because of its unrivaled efficiency at utilizing cursed energy, but rather because of the innate attribute of Gojo's cursed energy itself: Infinity.

For every other sorcerer, their domain had a set internal volume or, in Sukuna's case, a specified radius. For Gojo Satoru, however, his domain was infinite. An inner world that expanded outward endlessly with no outer bounds, paradoxically contained by an external barrier. A finite circumference enveloping an infinite volume. While other domains were also larger on the inside than the outside, they still had an edge that could be reached, whereas in Gojo's domain, it was impossible to ever even reach the edge because the edge simply did not exist.

Due to this, Gojo could freely adjust the outer barrier's spatial dimensions to whatever he wished, such as making it as large as a small building or condensing it into a tiny sphere, because regardless of the barrier's external size, the internal volume would be the same anyway – limitless. An attribute that would be highly useful if he ever had to face an enemy with the ability to, say, create an open domain.

But that wasn't relevant here. For now, all that mattered was how Gojo was essentially materializing a new universe within an already existing universe – a move that was bound to have a couple unintended side effects. One side effect was how, even when contained by a powerful barrier, the actualization of the domain was still powerful enough to momentarily weaken the fabrics of reality itself, sending out ripples throughout the entire space-time continuum.

Of course, under normal circumstances, this wouldn't be a big deal. The universe was remarkably resilient to such fluctuations, and could easily correct the instability just an instant later.

But if it just so happened to occur at the same time as a certain shinobi's fight against a rabbit moon goddess across dimensions? A fight in which high-level, jaw-dropping, reality-tearing spacetime ninjutsu were being thrown around like candy?

Well. With all that mayhem and destruction, it might cause a crack to form between dimensions.

And as unlikely, improbable, and flat-out unthinkable as it might be...

There was a slight possibility for something to slip through the crack.

Or someone.

[-∞,∞]

"This is the inner world of Infinity," Gojo Satoru said, his palm laid on the top of the volcano curse's head. "Perception. Communication. The actions you take in life are forced upon you infinitely." To his side, Satoru could see Yuji looking around his domain in wonder, taking in the inky splotches of darkness strewn about a backdrop of the purest white. "It's ironic, isn't it? When granted everything, you can't do anythi–"

Satoru cut off abruptly.

Something wasn't right.

For a split second, his Six Eyes had detected something unnatural. Reality flickered momentarily, a slight tremor running through all observable matter and energy, as if the universe itself was shuddering. Every fiber of Satoru's being was drenched in an all-encompassing sense of wrongness, a sensation that would be imperceptible to every other human on the planet but was as clear as day to him due to his Six Eyes's supernatural sensing abilities.

Then the moment passed, and everything returned to normal. It had all happened so suddenly that for a brief second Satoru wondered if he had just imagined it. Perhaps it had been a mistake earlier when he decided to down the venti iced caramel macchiato with sweetened condensed milk, a quad shot of espresso, five pumps of vanilla syrup, eight pumps of caramel syrup, extra caramel drizzle, whipped cream, and a sprinkle of cinnamon and cocoa powder.

And then some dango, just because.

Well, whatever. He could deal with it later. For now, he had a curse to interrogate. He ignored the silver-haired man standing in front of him and turned his attention back to the volcano curse–

Satoru froze.

He snapped his head over so quickly he nearly got whiplash, staring in shock at the man standing in front of them. No, not a man, but a curse. The most human-looking curse Satoru had ever laid eyes on, granted, but the cursed energy that formed his body gave him away.

How was the curse there? Satoru knew for a fact that nobody else other than Yuji and the volcano curse had been around when he'd activated this domain. Had it somehow managed to bypass the barrier encasing his domain?

"Alright," Satoru said, a smile slowly spreading across his lips, looking at the curse as if it were a particularly interesting puzzle he just stumbled across on. "Now this is unexpected."

He took a second to examine the curse. His Six Eyes came to life as it dissected and devoured every detail the curse had to offer, information automatically filtering into his mind at a lightning rate.

Spiky silver hair, black-and-red eyes inscribed with a kaleidoscopic pattern, a dark navy-blue mask covering its face, a metal headband with the character 'endure' inscribed upon it, a green flack jacket, red swirls on the arm sleeves, a strange energy flowing through him, a combination of negative cursed energy and positive reverse cursed energy and something else that formed an unnatural, foreign, parasitic, alien energy that felt so immensely wrong, residuals of a strong orange energy, traces of yet another form of extremely dense energy that was more powerful than anything Satoru had ever sensed before, although even as he watched it was slowly dissipating, small wounds littering its entire body, a large X-shaped cut across its chest–

"Yo," the curse said.

–and Satoru blinked as his analysis sputtered to a halt, because the curse just spoke.

Just spoke.

Like, out loud.

Right inside of his Unlimited Void, as if it was nothing. This shouldn't be possible. Satoru's domain should be scrambling the curse's brain right now, but it didn't seem to be affected at all.

"You're speaking," Satoru blurted out before he could stop himself, staring at the curse in baffled bewilderment.

The curse tilted his head. "That I am."

Perhaps Satoru hadn't channeled enough cursed energy into the construction of his domain? He crossed his fingers and released enough cursed energy to make even the volcano curse unconsciously flinch as a reflex. More than enough to thoroughly shatter the new curse's sanity.

There was a long moment of silence as Satoru waited for the curse to dutifully keel over from the staggering amount of information overwhelming its mind. The curse appeared to be adamant in refusing to let the world make any sense, however, and remained worryingly coherent. It watched at Satoru with a somewhat bemused air, seemingly oblivious to how the very environment around it was actively attempting to liquify its brain.

After half a minute or so, it became clear that his domain was having no effect on this curse.

Despite himself, Satoru felt his face break into a large smile. "Alright, I'll bite. So, what are you?"

The curse regarded him for a moment, the pinwheels in its eyes spinning lazily.

"I'm Kakashi," he finally said.

Scarecrow?

Satoru raised an eyebrow. He knew that some curses coalesced into existence as the physical manifestations of humanity's collective fears and negative emotions, but... the fear of scarecrows? Seriously? That was a little lame. There had to be more to it.

"Kakashi, huh? I'm Gojo Satoru. I'm sure you've heard of me," Satoru smiled, awaiting the curse's reaction. His smile fell from his face as the seconds ticked by and Kakashi showed no signs of recognition. "Err, you know. The possessor of Six Eyes? The wielder of Limitless? The coolest, most badass sorcerer since, well, ever? You haven't heard of me?"

"Maa... I'm afraid not."

"Oh."

There was an awkward silence.

"I'm, ah, new," Kakashi offered.

New? As in a newly-born curse? That explained it. Satoru's smile reappeared on his face like it had never left. "Then now you know!" he said cheerfully. "Gojo Satoru, at your service. It's nice to meet you!"

Kakashi inclined his head. "Likewise."

The cursed spirit fell silent after that. He seemed to be content in observing Satoru with those kaleidoscopic eyes of his, much like how Satoru had observed him earlier with his Six Eyes...

Wait a moment.

Satoru once again eyed the curse's silver hair. Looked at the mask covering his face. Squinted at the strange pinwheeled eyes.

...

"So, like, are you supposed to be a rip-off version of me or something?" Satoru asked, his expression totally serious. "Because while I know imitation is the greatest form of flattery and all, you're nowhere near good-looking or dazzling enough to try to pull me off."

"... I'm sorry?"

"Is that why you came to me tonight? To get advice on how to pull off my look? Because sorry buddy, I hate to break it to you, but I don't think it's gonna pan out. I'll give you a free tip though: lose the headband. It's way too tacky."

"Your look? What are you – " Kakashi looked utterly lost. "What's wrong with my forehead protector?"

Satoru snickered. "Forehead protector? What are you, a feudal era samurai?"

Kakashi's eyes flickered. "Please don't confuse me with those warriors of honor," he said mildly, though Satoru could discern an undercurrent of distaste in his tone for some reason. "I'm a shinobi."

"I see," Satoru nodded. "A chuuni curse cosplaying as me while roleplaying as a ninja. Now I've seen everything."

"I... don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm sure you don't," Satoru said placatingly, his tone suggesting that he did not believe Kakashi in the slightest.

Kakashi regarded him for a long moment with a gaze that would have been unreadable if not for the Six Eyes. To Satoru's delight, however, he could detect some faint irritation in the nearly imperceptible tautness of the curse's facial muscles. Then their eyes met and Satoru shot Kakashi a smug, knowing grin. Kakashi's eyes flickered momentarily in confusion before they sparked with realization–

The curse's expression suddenly went completely blank, scarily reminiscent of a porcelain mask.

Satoru's eyebrows rose. He couldn't read Kakashi anymore. What in the world? It was almost as if Kakashi had practice defending against omniscient all-seeing eyes. Even Kakashi's cursed energy had gone impossibly still – or rather, whatever twisted, corrupted form of cursed energy Kakashi had; Satoru still wasn't sure what it was.

"How did you even get in there?" Satoru asked. "You weren't present when I first expanded my domain."

Kakashi was silent for several seconds, his face still utterly unreadable.

Then, he eye-smiled.

"I got lost on the road of life."

A beat.

Satoru blinked. "What?"

"Hmm?"

Satoru hesitated. "When you say you got lost on the road of life, are you talking about a technique or something?"

"Nope!" Kakashi replied happily. "I just mean that I got lost. Took a few wrong turns, doubled back at one point, and ended up in here. You know how it is."

Satoru stared at the curse. "Right..." he said slowly, not quite sure what to make of that. "How are you conscious right now, then? All the information streaming into your mind should be rendering you completely catatonic right now."

Kakashi tilted his head. "Information?"

"The sure-hit passive effect of my domain," Satoru explained. "It overwhelms your brain with an astronomical influx of raw information that cannot be avoided or countered. It's a miracle you're even alive right now, much less conversing with me with any degree of intelligibility."

For a split second, Kakashi's eyes sharpened with a surprising astuteness, and Satoru could practically hear the curse processing, analyzing, and evaluating the new information.

Then the moment passed and Kakashi was back to smiling blandly at Satoru.

"Maybe your domain just isn't working correctly."

Satoru looked at Kakashi. Then he looked down at the volcano curse, who was foaming at the mouth, unconscious. Then he looked back at Kakashi.

"No. No, I'm pretty sure it's working perfectly."

Kakashi shrugged. "I have no idea, then. It might be that the domain is too inadequate to incapacitate me. An issue of skill, perhaps?"

"Impossible," Satoru said without any hesitation. "Unlimited Void is the single strongest domain in existence, bar none. Its refinement is flawless, its efficiency unmatched, its potency unparalleled. My competence is not the issue here." He narrowed his eyes. "No, it must be something else. Tell me the truth. How are you able to resist its effects?"

Kakashi chuckled. "I should've known I couldn't fool you. Fine, I'll tell you. The truth is…"

He trailed off, humming thoughtfully. Satoru found himself feeling some genuine anticipation. Ever since his battle with Toji, he'd scoured the entire earth for potential methods that could be used to defeat himself, destroying both the Inverted Spear of Heaven and the Black Rope. He'd thought that that was the end of it, but the appearance of this curse changed things.

Furthermore, there was a possibility that this curse had been born as a 'counter' to him. Jujutsu sorcery existed in a perpetual balance, after all, and it had been theorized before that the emergence of all the stronger curses in the past few decades was a result of the world compensating for Satoru's birth. Something about him disrupting the natural balance, because he was just too awesome like that.

If this curse truly was his counter, and it could already nullify his domain, then it could most likely negate his Limitless as well.

And if that were the case...

The curse 'Kakashi' might very well be the greatest existential threat to him since Toji had shish-kebabed him eleven years ago. And an existential threat to him was, by extension, an existential threat to all of jujutsu society, Japan, and indeed the entire world itself.

He wasn't even exaggerating by all that much.

This was all conjecture, though. It was possible that the curse's immunity to his domain was a mere coincidence. A lucky counter that had occurred organically. Which was why the curse's answer was so important–

"I'm able to resist your domain's effects because my dead best friend's ghost gave me special magical powers," Kakashi said. "We used to be enemies, but after my cute little student punched him in the face and gave him some combat-induced therapy, he became good again. There was an egomaniac zombie, a talking plant, and a rabbit goddess involved as well. Also a bunch of naked guys – but don't worry, they were only there for weaponized eroticism." He paused. "It was remarkably effective, too."

...

Satoru stared at him for several long moments.

Huh.

Kakashi was totally fucking with him, wasn't he?

Satoru's left eye twitched. That was his schtick! The whole "giving obviously bullshit answers to mess with the other guy" was his thing!

And this curse had the sheer audacity to copy him?

...

Weaponized eroticism?

It started out as a few low chuckles at first, but before long, it soon erupted into full-blown laughter. Kakashi watched him with a raised eyebrow as Satoru tossed his head back and let out a long and hearty laugh, unrestrained and genuine.

"Oh, you're fun," Satoru said, his voice rich with amusement as he looked at Kakashi with a smile he didn't even have to fake. "I like you."

Kakashi smiled in return. "I'm flattered, but I'm afraid I don't swing that way."

"Please, you haven't met me yet. Give me two minutes, and I guarantee I'll change your mind."

Kakashi faltered for a second too long in his response. Satoru smirked. Point goes to me.

Then Satoru's expression turned serious. "No, but actually though. Why does my domain have no effect on you?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I already told you the truth. It's up to you to believe it."

Satoru sighed. "Still insisting on lying to my face? Fine. Don't tell me." He cracked his knuckles and smiled viciously, his cursed energy flaring to life. "I'll find out myself, then. Please try not to die; I'd hate to end up accidentally killing you before we've had our fill of the fun."

"Big words," Kakashi drawled, his stance still relaxed but a dangerous edge appearing in his eyes. "You sure you can back it up?"

"Of course!" Satoru shot Kakashi a cocky grin. "I'm the strongest, after all."

And he stepped forward, prepared to beat the curse to within an inch of its life—

"Err, sensei?" Yuji spoke up for the first time since entering the domain.

Satoru paused. "Yes, my favorite student?" For some odd reason, Satoru saw Kakashi perk up slightly at those words. "Is there a reason why you interrupted that totally epic moment?"

"Sorry! It's just... I think the volcano curse is about to die," Yuji said, pointing at the curse in question.

"Eh?"

Satoru looked down at the volcano curse. It was full-on convulsing at this point, and... shit, was that brain matter dribbling out of its ears?

Oops.

"One second," Satoru said. "Sorry, this thing was weaker than I'd expected."

He snapped his fingers and released his domain, the real world returning in a rush around them. Gravity took effect and they dropped through the air, landing lightly on the surface of the lake. Satoru wasn't even surprised by now to see that Kakashi possessed the fine control to walk on water. Not the half-assed inefficient technique the volcano cursed had used earlier, but rather a flawless application of cursed energy manipulation that didn't waste a single drop of energy.

In a single half-hearted move, Satoru casually tossed the volcano curse off to the side. It soared through the air and crashed into the solid ground a good fifty meters away, rolling head over heels before it finally slammed into the trunk of a tree. It slid down to the earth, unmoving.

Satoru didn't even bother giving it a second glance. He turned back to Kakashi, dusting off his hands. Strangely, the curse's attention wasn't on him. Instead, it was peering up at the night sky, a heavy frown on its face. Satoru glanced up as well, but he couldn't see anything out of the ordinary.

"Something the matter?" he asked.

"Your stars..." Kakashi murmured. "They're all wrong. So I really am..." He trailed off quietly, and for a second, his eyes seemed to unfocus, the curse getting lost in his own thoughts. Then Kakashi snapped out of it and he turned back to Satoru. "Maa, I think there's been–"

His words ceased. Instantly, Satoru and Kakashi both whirled to the side to see a large tan curse grabbing the unconscious volcano curse. The new curse froze mid-action as it stared back at them, looking eerily like a kid who had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"Where did that thing come from?!" Yuji yelped. Which was a very good question, considering how Satoru hadn't sensed it until the very last moment. He examined the cursed spirit, noting its deformed branches for eyes and black markings over its entire body. Its left arm was wrapped up in a bundle of white cloth, and its aura...

Satoru's lips curved up. Oh? So that was how the curse did it. The aura it emanated felt more like a nature spirit than a cursed spirit, and even when it was standing right in front of him, he could barely sense it.

How curious.

Then, the cursed spirit raised its hand to point at Kakashi. "You." Its voice was distorted and heavy, and it spoke in an unknown language that Satoru understood anyway. It appeared that somehow, the curse had managed to develop a universal language. Satoru's smile widened. And here he thought Babel had just been a myth.

Kakashi pointed at himself, looking perplexed. "Me?"

"Run."

The forest came to life, writhing tendrils of branches shooting upward from the canopy like a geyser, so thick and numerous that they momentarily blotted out the night sky. The sound of a million rustling leaves filled the air. Next to Satoru, Kakashi's eyes widened in pure shock in the first unfiltered display of emotion Satoru had seen.

"What the fuck?" Kakashi gaped at the sight. "Mokuton?! White Zetsu?!"

Then the branches crashed down on them in a massive tsunami. It rushed toward them with a frightening speed, threatening to crush them under its sheer mass – assuming the sharpened branches didn't tear them to pieces first.

Satoru merely rolled his eyes and expanded his Limitless so it would cover Yuji as well. A split second later, the branches struck. They had approximately no effect, parting past them like a stream around a rock.

Except that wasn't the best metaphor, because with enough time, the water would eventually erode the rock, whereas this laughable attack would never be able to penetrate Limitless no matter how much time it had... but then again, there was a reason why Satoru wasn't a literature teacher.

After ten seconds of the onslaught, the tsunami finally came to a stop, the branches dissipating into motes of cursed energy.

Satoru immediately noticed two things.

One: the nature curse and the volcano curse were gone.

Two: Kakashi had also disappeared.

Damn.

Satoru briefly considered chasing after them, but quickly dismissed the thought. He couldn't sense their presence anymore. Instead, he rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he pondered over the events that had just transpired. Three cursed spirits had appeared, all of them sapient, something previously thought impossible.

The volcano curse – well, that one was clear. It had most likely formed from humanity's fear of volcanoes.

The other curse was a little more tricky to pin down, but Satoru guessed it was some form of nature curse, formed from the fear of natural disasters. Lots of hatred, lots of sadness, and lots of anger associated with that.

Kakashi, however...

Even if Kakashi had been born as a 'counter' to him, that still didn't answer what he was the curse of. At first, Satoru had assumed that Kakashi was the curse of scarecrows because of his name, but in retrospect, it was probably just misdirection. No, scratch that, it was definitely just misdirection; if there was one thing Satoru had learned tonight, it was that Kakashi loved his deception.

Which meant that Satoru was back to square one.

Unless...

It dawned on him. The answer had been staring him in the face the entire time. It was so inconceivable, Satoru hadn't even considered it at first, but in retrospect, it was obvious. It would certainly explain why Kakashi had gone to such lengths to lie to Satoru.

"Heh. Scarecrow curse. No way you actually expected me to believe that, did you?"

But then again, the truth should have been equally as impossible. But when he considered the facts at hand...

Kakashi looked like him. Kakashi acted like him. Kakashi possessed an inherent immunity to his Unlimited Void.

Slowly, Satoru's lips curled into an exhilarated grin.

There was no doubt about it.

Kakashi was a curse formed from the fear of Gojo Satoru.

...

"Gojo-sensei? Why did you just break out in evil cackles? Sensei, you're scaring me. Sensei? GOJO-SENSEI!"

[-∞,∞]

"Over the past thirty days, a total of twenty-eight jujutsu sorcerers all across Japan have come under attack by a single cursed spirit. The assaults occurred randomly with no discernible pattern, and the victims share no common traits other than being jujutsu sorcerers." Ijichi Kiyotaka, the head manager of Jujutsu High, frowned as he flipped through the pages of his report. "Strangely, there are no fatalities as of yet. Though every sorcerer was defeated thoroughly, they were merely left unconscious with no lasting physical injuries – though I cannot speak to the structural integrity of their pride." He paused, coughing into his fist. "This issue is exacerbated by how, upon regaining consciousness, all twenty-eight sorcerers had discovered their wallets were missing."

Gojo arched his eyebrows. "The cursed spirit robbed them?"

"Quite thoroughly," Ijichi replied, consulting his notes. "One shaman noted that even the emergency stash of cash hidden in the sole of their shoe was liberated."

Gojo laughed. "Oh, that's beautiful."

The two of them were in the briefing room at Tokyo Jujutsu High. Gojo was lounging on the lush leather couch, hands interlaced behind his head and legs crossed over one another, while Ijichi stood before him, holding a stack of papers in his hand.

"This is no laughing matter," Ijichi rebuked, his frown deepening. "An extremely powerful cursed spirit is attacking jujutsu sorcerers across the nation – and worse yet, we cannot determine its motive. Although..." He consulted his notes again. "In every case, before knocking the sorcerers unconscious, the cursed spirit did ask them a series of questions."

"About?"

"Well... everything. Jujutsu sorcery, jujutsu society, and the world in general." Ijichi pushed up his glasses. "What's highly unusual about this is that all of the questions were extremely basic. Common knowledge, really. No matter how many times I analyze the transcripts, I can't seem to figure out the curse's purpose. It's rather vexing, to be honest. Are the questions for a cursed technique? Or maybe the curse is taunting us?"

Gojo chuckled. "You're overthinking it."

"What do you mean?"

"It's elementary, my dear Ijichi," Gojo said. "The reason why the curse is asking so many questions... is because it doesn't know the answers to them."

Ijichi blinked. "What?"

"It's a newborn curse."

It took a moment for that to fully sink in, but when it did, Ijichi's eyes widened. "I'm a fool," he bemoaned. "All those statistical models and tests, for nothing..."

"There, there," Gojo said.

"Anyhow..." Ijichi shook his head and continued. "The cursed spirit has demonstrated an unsettling ability in tracking down and neutralizing jujutsu sorcerers. Two days ago, we sent out several Grade 1 sorcerers to try to apprehend it, but all of them were met with the same fate. The higher-ups are starting to get freaked out about it, so they elected to call you in before things become any worse."

Gojo tilted his head. "So let me get this straight. The higher-ups waited an entire month before getting off their asses and deciding to do something about it – and instead of taking care of it themselves, they decided to get me to do their dirty work?"

Ijichi hesitated before giving a slow nod. "More or less..."

"Sounds about right. Man, they're really useless without me, huh?" Gojo's expression darkened momentarily. "Makes me wonder why I keep them around sometimes."

Ijichi forced a laugh. "That's a funny joke, Gojo."

"It's not–"

"I said, that's a funny joke, Gojo."

"But I'm not–"

"Please at least grant me the mercy of plausible deniability, Gojo."

Gojo raised his hands in surrender, relenting.

"Anyway," Ijichi continued, "I had a forensic artist contact of mine create a composite sketch of the curse in question." He withdrew the document from the file and made to hand it over.

Gojo shook his head. "No need. Let me guess – the cursed spirit has silver hair, kaleidoscopic red-and-black eyes, and is wearing a dark navy-blue mask?"

Ijichi blinked. "You know this curse?"

"We've met before. In a manner of speaking."

"And you didn't exorcise it?" Ijichi paused before narrowing his eyes, a suspicious look crossing over his face. "Gojo... Is the curse yours?"

"What? No! Do you think I'd command a curse to go around attacking random jujutsu sorcerers?"

"Yes," Ijichi said bluntly.

"Why would I ever do that?"

"Because you'd think it's funny."

"Okay, that is true," Gojo conceded. "But still – how would a cursed spirit ever cooperate with me?"

"Your student, Okkotsu Yuta, has the ability to copy cursed techniques, and was in battle with Geto Suguru last year, who possessed cursed spirit manipulation."

Gojo opened his mouth before closing it a moment later as he realized it was a surprisingly plausible explanation. He mulled on it for a few seconds before opting to ignore it altogether, instead switching routes.

"I'm hurt you'd accuse me of such a heinous act," Gojo said, placing a hand on his heart. "Don't you trust me?"

Ijichi let out an undignified snort before his eyes widened behind his glasses.

"I'm so sorry, Gojo! That was highly unprofessional; I don't know what came over me. I should already be used to your ludicrous, absurd, and obscenely foolish antics by now." He bowed deeply. "You have my deepest apologies."

Gojo stared at Ijichi, astonished. "... huh?"

Ijichi coughed sharply. "At any rate, if you've indeed made contact with the curse before, then it definitely makes things a lot easier. When did you see it?"

"A month ago... hold on, Ijichi what was that?"

Ijichi ignored him with the resolve of a man so sleep-deprived he had more coffee than blood in his bloodstream. "A month ago? And you haven't tracked it down yet?"

Gojo shrugged. "It concealed its presence extremely well. Besides, I had other stuff to worry about. Training Yuji, planning out the Kyoto Goodwill Event that's happening in a week, taste-testing these new Vienna chocolates that are simply divine... You get the gist." He tilted his head. "And, to tell you the truth, I was kinda waiting for the curse to come to me."

"... why would it ever seek you out?"

Gojo shrugged. "Reasons."

While he'd shared the information of the volcano and nature curse, he'd kept his knowledge of Kakashi secret, swearing Yuji to confidentiality as well. Partly because information was power in the jujutsu world and he didn't want anyone getting wind of his countercurse (as he dubbed it) before he himself knew more, and partly because he was well aware of how insane his theory sounded. As a result, Ijichi didn't know anything about Kakashi yet.

"It's probably trying to send me a message with all these attacks," Gojo mused. "You know, you really should have told me about this earlier."

Ijichi twitched. "I did! You should have already known! It's not my fault you don't check your emails."

"You've been sending me emails?"

"Yes!"

"Weird. Why not just text me?"

"Because you already blocked my number last month!"

"I did?" Gojo scratched his cheek. "Oh right, I did. I guess I also blocked your email too during that time."

Ijichi twitched again. "Brilliant. For the past month, I had thought you were investigating the incidents and just couldn't be bothered to respond to me. It wasn't until I got a chance to speak to you in-person today that I realized you weren't being deliberately inconsiderate – you were just plain unaware!"

"Hey, I prefer the term 'blissfully ignorant'..."

Gojo suppressed the urge to grin as he watched Ijichi visibly take several calming breaths. He was just screwing with his friend, of course – he had received the emails and had gone out to investigate multiple times under a disguise, though he hadn't found anything useful. Whatever Kakashi was, he was damn good at covering his tracks; while he had left some residuals back in the forest, in his most recent attack, Gojo hadn't detected any traces of his cursed energy at all.

Kakashi was learning, and at this point, he might be better than even Hanami in terms of stealth and concealment.

It made sense, really. The curse born to counter the bearer of the Six Eyes would naturally evolve to be able to counter the Six Eyes' sensory capabilities. This was basically a supernatural arms race where both sides developed their abilities to stay one step ahead of the other. Not that Kakashi had any hope of actually winning the arms race – but it was cute to watch him try.

"All that aside," Ijichi finally said like nothing had happened. Gojo smiled internally; he had always admired Ijichi's unrelenting professionalism in the face of extreme adversity. "Let's start drafting out a plan to track down and eliminate the cursed spirit–"

Ijichi's phone rang. He pulled it out to check the caller ID. "Sorry, I have to take this." He held his phone up to his ear, listened for a few seconds, then hung up.

"Correction," he said miserably. "Twenty-nine jujutsu sorcerers."

Gojo connected the dots instantly. "There was another attack?"

"About twenty minutes ago."

"Who?"

Ijichi opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by the door to the room slamming open.

Grade 1 Sorcerer Nanami Kento stormed in, a dark expression on his face that promised death. His left cheek was bruised, there were several rips in his suit, and bandages were haphazardly wrapped around his left arm. He zeroed in on Gojo immediately.

"My wallet was just stolen by someone who looks a lot like you, Gojo," he said. "Give it back."

"It's not me!" Gojo yelped, raising his hands in the universal gesture of innocence.

"Likely story. A cursed spirit that acts like you, looks like you, and even has a form of Limitless?" His eyes narrowed. "Is this your idea of a prank?"

Gojo tensed up. "A form of Limitless?"

Nanami nodded. "The curse turned intangible when I tried striking it."

Intangibility? That was an ability Gojo hadn't developed yet. No, that he hadn't even considered yet. His mind whirred to action, trying to figure out how the curse had managed it. An application of imaginary mass? Spatial manipulation, similar to Gojo's teleportation except several levels more advanced?

Okay. So maybe Kakashi wasn't doing half-bad in the arms race.

Gojo looked between Nanami and Ijichi. Out of everyone he knew, these two were the ones he trusted the most. Aside from his students, of course, but they were too young for this. And Shoko, but Gojo was pretty sure she really would find a way to kill him if he added any more to her workload.

The point was, if he couldn't trust these two, then he couldn't trust anyone.

Gojo's expression turned serious. "Ijichi, do you mind setting up a quick privacy barrier around this room? And Nanami, could you sweep this room for bugs please? I already checked, but can't be too careful."

Ijichi and Nanami exchanged wary glances but complied. Ijichi created a barrier that blocked all sound, sight, scent, vibrations, and cursed energy, while Nanami conducted a physical check for any mundane bugs. Once they were finished, they stood across from Gojo, waiting expectantly.

"Excellent," Gojo smiled. "Grab your snacks and gather around. It's story time."

Nanami and Ijichi's faces grew increasingly incredulous as Gojo retold how Kakashi had appeared that night, of Kakashi's immunity to his domain and how Kakashi's appearance and mannerisms were disturbingly similar to his own. Then he proceeded to explain his theory of how he believed Kakashi was a curse born to counter him, and that Kakashi had formed from the fear of 'Gojo Satoru.'

"That's impossible, though," Nanami pointed out. "Cursed spirits only form from the cursed energy that leaks from non-sorcerers. There are undoubtedly a lot of jujutsu sorcerers who fear and despise you, but they wouldn't leak enough cursed energy to cause a curse to form."

Gojo smiled. "Correct, but you're not accounting for all the variables, my dear Nanamin."

"Don't call me that," Nanami said before frowning. "What variables?"

"Remember how, just recently, we discovered the existence of special grade curses who were capable of sapience?"

"The nature curse, the volcano curse, and curse known as 'Mahito,'" Ijichi said, frowning. "But what do they have to do with anything?"

Next to him, Nanami had gone deathly still. "You don't think..."

"Exactly," Gojo grinned. "Sapience implies intelligence, and intelligence implies the ability to feel. We know that cursed spirits can't form from jujutsu sorcerers... but what about cursed spirits forming from other curses?"

Ijichi's eyes widened. "But that's impossible!"

"Is it?" Gojo raised an eyebrow. "Sorcerers tightly regulate their cursed energy to ensure it doesn't leak out and create more curses, but cursed spirits wouldn't have a reason to maintain such careful control. It's a recursive effect that would only benefit them."

"But there can't be that many sapient special grade curses," Nanami said. "We've only discovered three so far. How could they have leaked enough cursed energy to form another curse?"

"Quality over quantity," Gojo said. "Even if there are only a handful out there, their cursed energy would be exponentially more potent than a normal human's. It's like how Yuta was able to create Rika, a special-grade cursed spirit, as only a young child."

"I see. But if Kakashi truly is a counter to you, then..." Ijichi shifted from heel-to-heel worriedly. "Isn't that bad?"

"Of course not!" Gojo laughed, waving off Ijichi's concerns. "Have you forgotten?" A supremely self-assured smile spread across his features. "I'm the strongest."

Nanami nodded. "Counter or not, recursive cursed spirit or not, it doesn't matter. There is only one thing that's important here." His eyes smoldered. "Kakashi stole my money. I want it back."

Gojo and Ijichi both stared at him.

"Riiight," Gojo said. "That too. In any case, if we want to get your money back, then..." Out of nowhere, he whipped out a tweed deerstalker hat and an old-fashioned magnifying glass. "This means we're gonna be–"

"Torture specialists."

"–DETECTIVES! I'M SO PUMPED – wait, what did you just say?"

[-∞,∞]

The two of them first tried laying ambushes for Kakashi. However, it quickly became apparent that that wouldn't work, because... well.

"I'm bored!"

"Shut up."

"But I'm boooored."

"Shut up."

"Nanamiiii! Why are you so mean? Hey, what are you doing with that butcher knife? Nanami, stop. You know you can't get past my Limitless, right? Nanami!"

For all his talent and prodigious skill, Gojo Satoru did not, in fact, possess the necessary patience or attention span to lie in wait for an extended period of time. Nor did Nanami Kento possess the necessary patience or willpower to deal with Gojo Satoru for an extended period of time. It didn't help that they didn't know when or where Kakashi would strike next either, lowering the odds of them succeeding even more.

So they went to Plan B: locating Kakashi through mystical means.

[-∞,∞]

"CONTAIN THE BREACH!" Gojo yelled, his black trench coat flapping wildly. One hand was held to his deerstalker cap to keep it from flying away while the other hand was flashing through hand signs. There was a palpable aura of cursed energy around him, the walls of the room cracking under the tremendous pressure. The magic circle on the floor inscribed with seals and runic script glowed an angry crimson red as arcs of scarlet electricity crackled in the air. "DON'T LET THE ANOMALY ESCAPE NO MATTER WHAT!"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!" Nanami roared back as he poured his cursed energy into the magic circle.

"I DON'T KNOW! I JUST TOOK SOME FORBIDDEN ARCANE RITUALS I FOUND IN THE JUJUTSU HIGH SECRET VAULT AND TRIED TO COMBINE THEM WITH MY INFINITY!"

"WHY?"

"IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME!"

[-∞,∞]

"If you think about it, it wasn't actually that bad," Gojo laughed as he slung an arm around Nanami's shoulders, the two of them walking through the idyllic scenery of the Jujutsu High campus. "It was a great learning experience."

"Please don't talk to me."

"Nanami!"

"You endangered everyone on this campus with your stunt just now. Not just me, but every sorcerer, manager, and other assorted employee. What if the gardener over there died because of you?" Nanami pointed at a gardener who was currently trimming the bushes outside a temple. "What would you have done then?"

"Bah, there wasn't any real danger," Gojo said. "I had the situation under control."

"Irresponsible, flippant, egotistical, shortsighted, inconsiderate..." Nanami groused under his breath.

"Though she's super cute, actually," Gojo said, glancing back at the gardener as they walked past. "How have I never seen her before?"

Nanami leveled Gojo with an unimpressed stare. "Gojo, you don't pay any attention to 'normal people.' You don't know half the people on campus." He paused. "Though in fairness, I'm pretty sure she's new."

"Ohh." Gojo grinned. "You think she's single–? Eep!"

Nanami's demonic visage materialized just a few centimeters away from Gojo's face, his soulless eyes peering into Gojo's own.

"Concentrate," he said. "What's our next plan?"

Gojo backed away a few paces before smiling and answering, "I know a place."

[-∞,∞]

"Gojo... Are you certain this place is legitimate?"

"Shush, you're being rude," Gojo said before he stepped forward and slapped a wad of cash onto the counter. He shot a dazzling grin at the old lady sitting behind the counter. Tarot cards were scattered everywhere, an astrology chart was hanging on the wall behind her, and the air was heavy with the scent of incense. "I'd like to hire you, please."

[-∞,∞]

"I could be wrong," Gojo said as they exited the store. He rubbed his chin in deep contemplation. "But I think we just got scammed."

"You think?" Nanami repeated disbelievingly. "She started out by reading our palms!"

"It's a well-regarded ancient form of divination."

"She tried to spray me with holy water when she found out I was a Cancer!"

"It was done with good intentions. Besides, you looked like you could use it."

"She sacrificed a live chicken and claimed to be able to foresee the future in its entrails!"

"Okay, that was a little creepy," Gojo admitted.

"Was it not blatantly obvious that the whole place was an egregious scam? How did you even hear about this?"

Gojo laughed as he looked away, refusing to meet Nanami's eyes. "Well, you know. Itadori may or may not have mentioned that his friends used to visit here often, and I've been meaning to check it out..."

Nanami's palm met his forehead. "Please don't tell me that your sources were two non-sorcerer teenagers part of an amateur occult club."

Gojo stayed silent.

"Gojo..."

"You told me not to tell you."

Nanami let out a heavy sigh. "At this point, I'm considering just cutting my losses. It doesn't seem like we'll be able to track down Kakashi. As much as it pains me, I'll just... just... work some overtime to recuperate my losses."

Gojo was silent for a moment. "We've been asking the wrong questions," he said suddenly, a cigar materializing in his hand. He didn't actually light it because he hated the scent of smoke, but it was for the sake of theatrics. "This entire time we've been asking about how to find Kakashi, when instead we should've been focusing on the whydunit."

Nanami frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Why did Kakashi steal the wallets?"

"To add insult to injury, I presume," Nanami said. "He wanted to taunt us."

Gojo hummed. "Perhaps. Or maybe, just maybe, he stole the money so he could use it."

Nanami blinked. "What?"

"You came straight to Jujutsu High after you were attacked by Kakashi, and have been hunting for him with me nonstop for the past fifty-six hours ever since, right?" Gojo said. Nanami nodded. "Have you canceled your credit cards yet?"

"Not yet," Nanami said slowly. "I've been too preoccupied with hunting down Kakashi. Wait, are you suggesting..."

Gojo grinned. "If the supernatural methods won't work, let's try doing things the mundane way."

[-∞,∞]

"You were right," Nanami said blankly.

They had used their substantial governmental authority as jujutsu sorcerers to bulldoze their way into the credit card company, and were currently staring at a computer screen displaying Nanami's credit card details. There had been multiple purchases made in the past two days, primarily at convenience stores and clothing centers.

"Damn," Gojo patted Nanami's back comfortingly, fully aware that he wasn't providing a single iota of comfort and taking great satisfaction in it. "Should've canceled your credit cards earlier."

Nanami didn't appear to hear him. Instead, his face flickered through incremental degrees of burning anger and homicidal rage before finally settling on a peaceful, serene expression.

"I'm going to kill Kakashi," he said calmly.

Right as he said that, a small ding sounded from the computer as a new entry jumped to the top of the page. Gojo looked at it and smiled. The entry stated that a purchase of coffee had just been made at a cafe not too far from here. Black coffee, Gojo noted with heavy distaste.

"Well, look on the bright side," he said. "At least we found Kakashi."

[-∞,∞]

They arrived at the cafe in record time. It was a small quiet place called Anteiku, with quaint decor and a pleasant atmosphere. Gojo spared a brief glance at their dessert menu as they barged in, mentally making a note to buy some later. They scanned the room, ignoring how the patrons stared at them – Gojo was still in his detective outfit while Nanami was positively radiating death.

"I don't see him anywhere," Gojo said. "He got away again?"

Nanami didn't respond. Instead, he slowly raised his hand to point out the window. Gojo turned around to take in the sight.

On the other side of the street, a bookstore was located across from the cafe. Inside, Gojo caught a glimpse of spiky silver hair.

Nanami smiled a terrifying smile.

"Found him."

[-∞,∞]

The doors to the bookstore slammed open as Nanami and Gojo strode in. The latter was whistling a jaunty tune, his hands in his pockets, while the former had his sword drawn and ready, his stern eyes narrowed behind his sunglasses. Their movements were elegant and poised, their sheer presence undeniable.

Then they both stopped in their tracks.

Kakashi glanced over from where he was standing in front of the register, a book in one hand and Nanami's very distinctly patterned wallet in the other. When he saw them, he froze as well.

A quiet stillness descended over the bookstore.

Gojo ignored how it should've been impossible for the bookstore clerk to even see Kakashi due to him being a cursed spirit. He ignored how Kakashi had swapped out his outfit and was now wearing a grey button-down shirt, black pants, a light olive green jacket, and a maroon scarf. He ignored how Kakashi's eyes were now grey instead of black-and-red.

The only thing that Gojo Satoru's legendary Six Eyes could see was the book in Kakashi's hand.

The very well-known, infamous, banned-in-several-countries smut novel the curse was trying to buy.

Beside him, Nanami had straight-up stopped breathing.

Kakashi recovered first.

"Yo!" He greeted them, his tone cheerful and casual. "Fancy seeing you two here. Hey, by the way, the clerk won't sell this novel to me without seeing any ID for some reason. Do you mind purchasing it for me?" He paused before taking out some cash from Nanami's wallet and offering it to them. "I'll even toss in a little extra for you."

Gojo could hear Nanami's teeth grinding together.

"You," Nanami growled, the sound low and menacing. He stepped forward, slowly and methodically, until he was standing right in front of Kakashi, glaring down at him.

"... yeah, this situation is definitely a little awkward," Kakashi said after a few seconds. His eyes curved into an eye-smile. "Would it help if I apologize?"

Nanami went ballistic. Gojo broke into hysterics.

A concussive shockwave blasted through the air as Nanami slammed his sword down in a devastating strike. Kakashi disappeared in a swirl of leaves, reappearing a good five meters back.

"I think I'll take that as a no."

Chapter Text

"Your total is nine hundred and fifty yen. Thank you for your purchase!"

Picking up his coffee and a slice of cake, Satoru whistled a jaunty tune as he left the cafe. He patiently waited for the pedestrian signal to turn green before crossing the street, taking a sip of his coffee as he stepped into the veil. The blend was quite delicious, and – oh my, was that a hint of citrus?

Daring. Daring, but delightful.

He let out a contented sigh as he entered the bookstore.

"Yo, Nanami!" Satoru said cheerfully. "The coffee from the cafe across the street is positively to die for. You have to try it out."

Before him, Nanami's body streaked across the air and crashed into a shelf of books. It promptly broke under his weight, books scattering everywhere as the whole structure collapsed in a chorus of creaks and groans.

Satoru strolled across the room, completely ignoring the cursed spirit to his side and stopping in front of Nanami. He extended his hand.

The hand still holding his coffee.

"Want a sip?" Satoru offered generously.

Nanami looked up at him for a long moment with a dull stare that said I can't believe you just left an active battlefield to buy some coffee, but at the same time, I very much can.

"I'll pass," he declined as he stood up, brushing himself off. "You put so much sugar into your coffee, I'm surprised your Limitless doesn't categorize it as a threat to your health."

"That's because I'm not a weakling," Satoru sniffed before whirling around. "Hey, Kakashi!" he called. "Wanna try some? It's delicious!"

Kakashi, who had been watching them bemusedly, considered it for a second. Then, he shrugged. "Sure, why not."

Satoru blinked at the unexpected response before grinning. "That's the spirit!" In a flicker of cursed energy, he appeared right in front of Kakashi. The cursed spirit didn't even flinch; he just continued to regard Satoru with the same relaxed, slightly bored expression he always had. "Y'know, for a cursed spirit, you're a lot less uptight than I thought you'd be."

"That's because I'm not a cursed spirit."

"Perhaps not a conventional one," Satoru acknowledged. "The bookstore clerk from earlier was able to see you, after all. A side effect of the strange cursed energy running through you?"

Just like before, Kakashi's cursed energy was downright unnatural; negative and positive cursed energy metamorphosed with a foreign element that resulted in a white cursed energy that composed of his entire body. However, unlike before, the orange energy had disappeared entirely, and the dense energy had faded significantly as well.

"But then again," Satoru continued, "considering what you're the cursed spirit of, it makes sense that you'd be a special case."

Kakashi looked puzzled. "I'm not the cursed spirit of anything."

Satoru laughed. "Of course you're not," he said with a conspiratorial wink. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. Just know that I'm onto you. Anyway, coffee?"

He held out his cup, which Kakashi accepted after a moment with a slight nod. The cursed spirit reached up to lower his mask—

There was a loud crash to the side. Satoru and Nanami whirled over on reflex only to see that a bookshelf had toppled over. Turning back, Satoru narrowed his eyes when he saw that Kakashi had already finished drinking, his mask firmly back in place.

Coincidence? Perhaps. But the timing…

"Why is this so sweet?" Kakashi asked as he examined the drink, his nose slightly wrinkled under his mask. "What is this?"

"An iced mocha latte with six pumps of vanilla syrup, a caramel drizzle, and a touch of citrus," Satoru grinned. "It's delicious, isn't it?"

Kakashi stared at him. "What the fuck."

"Oh come on. Don't tell me you take your coffee black."

"I do..."

"Ugh," Satoru made a face as Kakashi handed his drink back. "Disgusting. You're just like Nanami. How can you stand to drink that swill?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "I don't think that means much coming from you."

"Loathe as I am to agree, it has a point," Nanami said as he stepped forward. "It's a sad day when a cursed spirit has better taste in coffee than you."

"Black just like your soul!"

Nanami ignored Satoru as he straightened his lapels. "Now, will you help me exorcise this curse? Or would you rather finish your cake first?"

He closed his eyes when he heard the telltale sound of a plastic container being opened, a rich chocolate aroma wafting through the air.

Satoru grinned, and though Kakashi hid it well, Satoru could see the amusement in his gaze as well.

"Fine," Nanami said, opening his eyes. "I'll take care of it myself." He glanced down at his watch. "Good timing, too." His gaze became steely. "I'm going into overtime."

A light blue aura shimmered to life around Nanami's form as his binding vow took effect. Kakashi's eyebrows rose slightly as Nanami's cursed energy surged in both potency and quantity.

"My technique divides the target along a line," Nanami said as he loosened his tie. "It forcibly creates a weak spot at the—"

"Seven-to-three ratio point?"

Nanami paused, surprise flitting across his face. "You know?!"

"I didn't, but thanks for confirming it," Kakashi shrugged. "Every time you attacked me, you didn't target my vitals like a normal person would have, but instead you struck at seemingly arbitrary points on my body. Took me a while, but I managed to figure out the pattern. It was a bit obvious, really."

Nanami twitched. "Obvious? How is it-? No, never mind." He shook his head. "You're right. My technique revolves around the seven-to-three ration point. In addition, the lines don't have to measure up to your full height or wingspan. Head, torso, biceps, or forearm – I can decide what part to divide. This technique is applicable to non-living things as well."

Nanami's cursed energy rose even further as the second binding vow took effect. Even though Kakashi had already known parts of Nanami's technique, Nanami had still explained enough for the binding vow to qualify.

"I typically make a habit of separating my work from my pleasure," Nanami said. "But just this once, I'll make an exception. This won't be like the last time."

And he exploded into movement.

Satoru munched on his cake as he observed the fight. From Ijichi's report, he knew that Kakashi had defeated all the jujutsu sorcerers with close-quarters combat alone, leading him to believe that the newly-born curse hadn't discovered its cursed technique yet. However, the report had been rather sparse on the details of the fights themselves – and Satoru was starting to see why.

After all, if the other sorcerers had also lost to Kakashi as badly as Nanami was currently losing to him, Satoru wouldn't blame them for being so tight-lipped about it.

It wasn't that Nanami was weak. Even among first grade sorcerers, Nanami easily stood at the top. He had a keen mind, possessed an incredibly solid understanding of cursed energy, and his cursed technique allowed him to pierce through even the hardiest defense. Satoru knew for a fact that Nanami's presence was synonymous with safety and reassurance for the lower-ranked sorcerers. He was the sort of sorcerer who, whenever he showed up on a scene, everyone would immediately know that things were going to be okay.

As opposed to whenever Satoru showed up on a scene, in which everyone too would immediately know that things were going to be okay, but they would also immediately know that the post-mission incident report was going to be a hell of a pain to write afterward, and that not everyone would leave the mission with their dignity and/or sanity intact.

Which, come to think of it, was probably what Nanami was currently experiencing at the moment.

In fairness, it wasn't even Satoru's fault this time. Kakashi was just too skilled. He effortlessly flowed around Nanami's attacks, avoiding every strike and blow with ease. In just ten seconds, Satoru had seen enough to know that if Kakashi had wanted to, he could've taken down Nanami without breaking a sweat. The only reason why Nanami was still in the ring was because, well... Kakashi didn't seem to be in any hurry to finish the fight.

Instead, he was lecturing Nanami.

"Information is beyond invaluable in a battle, as you should very much know," Kakashi chided. "You shouldn't carelessly reveal your technique's secrets like that. It's a mistake that even a rookie wouldn't make."

"It was for a binding vow," Nanami growled.

Kakashi tilted his head, conveniently avoiding a piercing strike. "Binding vow? Oh, was that why your cursed energy increased by such a large amount?"

Nanami didn't bother responding. Instead, he drew his fist back and drove it into the shelf, the shockwave spreading to instantly pulverize the entire structure. Wooden shards and books imbued with Nanami's cursed energy blasted forward Kakashi in a devastating wall of shrapnel, capable of punching through cursed energy reinforcement with ease.

Oddly, Kakashi hesitated here for a split second, his eyes flickering over to Satoru. Satoru narrowed his eyes when he realized that Kakashi's eyes were still grey. Where were the kaleidoscopic eyes from before? Was it a special technique, not a superficial trait like he'd initially thought?

Gods, Satoru wanted to just tie Kakashi down and dissect him. So many mysteries for him to pick apart, so little time.

Then Kakashi vanished in a blur of speed right before the projectiles struck, reappearing a moment later crouched on top of another bookshelf.

"How peculiar," Kakashi mused. "It doesn't appear to be a psychological placebo, nor does it seem like you're consciously or subconsciously doing anything. All you did was tell me how your technique functioned and you automatically received a boost to your cursed energy." He rubbed his chin contemplatively. "How do binding vows even work? Is it a contract with a deity? The world? Your own innate soul?"

"Who knows?" Nanami said. "Does it matter?"

"True enough. If it works, it works, I guess. Still, I don't think it's worth the tradeoff. Information is worth far too much to just be given away like that, regardless of how much you gain in return. After all..." He stood up to his full height and dropped to the ground, landing without a sound. "Now that I know for certain what your technique is, you can't hope to win against me now. I suggest you give up."

"Absolutely not," Nanami said. "You may be right in that I cannot defeat you. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to give up."

Kakashi tilted his head. "You're going to continue to fight even though you know you can't win? Is this about the money? Because if so, look, I only spent a couple thousand yen or so. You can't possibly be that underpaid, right?"

"It's not about the amount of money," Nanami said. He stepped forward. "It's about the principles I swore to uphold. It's about fighting for what's right." Satoru coughed. Nanami resolutely ignored him. "Besides, if I run away now, how am I supposed to face my juniors in the future?"

Kakashi smiled. "Is that so? I respect the sentiment, then. But..." His smile dropped. "If you're not going to give up, I'm afraid I'm going to have to get serious now."

Nanami tensed up at that, raising his sword – his eyes widened as Kakashi suddenly shot forward, accelerating so fast even Satoru was caught off guard. The curse crossed the distance in an instant. Nanami slashed out in reflex, only for his cleaver to cut through air as Kakashi shifted direction, moving so fast he was just a blur. Again and again he shifted direction, leaping off the ground, walls, ceiling, bookshelves, until he was like some omnidirectional bouncing bullet.

"Though I have to say, I am a little curious as to how this 'binding vow' works," Kakashi said, his voice echoing from all directions as he spoke. "It seems like quite a fascinating phenomenon. I think I'll give it a go."

Nanami's eyes flickered back and forth rapidly as he struggled to keep Kakashi within his field of vision. He was clearly failing. Kakashi's movements were like a hummingbird's wings: so fast it was barely perceptible to the naked eye. It didn't help that the curse's movements were somehow completely silent either; Satoru could see how the curse was using its cursed energy to dampen and absorb the sound of its movements in a frankly ridiculous display of control. The fact that Kakashi could reach this level of control without the Six Eyes... it was impressive, to say the least.

"My technique is one that rips apart both body and soul," Kakashi said, his voice turning cold and clinical. It appeared the curse had decided to stop playing around. "It entails a single piercing strike to a critical point on the target that will utterly shatter their body and spirit. It is by far my most secret and powerful technique."

Oh? Satoru leaned forward in anticipation, his Six Eyes greedily devouring the fight in front of him. This was going to be good.

"Even the gods and demons of old fear this attack. If there exists such a thing as an ultimate technique, then this is it. Prepare yourself."

In the blink of an eye, Kakashi materialized in a crouch behind Nanami, his hands held together such that his pointer and middle fingers were extended outward.

"One Thousand Years of Death!"

Nanami began turning around, but it was too late. All he could do was helplessly stare out of the corner of his eye at the scene in front of him, completely at Kakashi's mercy. Time seemed to stretch out to infinity as Kakashi thrust forth his fingers, right up into Nanami's –

Satoru's eyes widened.

No fucking way.

Space distorted and reality twisted. Satoru appeared next to them, grabbing Kakashi's wrists right before the curse made... contact.

The air stilled. Silence descended.

It took Nanami half a second to take in the curse's position, the trajectory of its would-be attack, and his own position, and another half a second to put it all together. Slowly, a mixture of confusion and perturbation filled Nanami's eyes.

"Kakashi, no," said Satoru.

"Aww, now you interfere?" Kakashi pouted – fucking pouted! "We were just getting to the good part."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Satoru demanded.

Kakashi blinked innocently. "Is something the matter?"

"Are you kidding? Yes! If you're going to be doing that to Nanami, you better warn me beforehand." Satoru stepped back, whipped out his phone, and began recording. He shot Kakashi a thumbs-up. "Alright, continue–"

"Gojo Satoru," Nanami said, turning to look at Satoru with wide, unblinking eyes. "I will administrate you."

Satoru didn't even know what Nanami meant by that, but something in the first-grade sorcerer's tone made him lower his phone.

Nanami then spun in place to face Kakashi. Kakashi met Nanami's accusing stare with a polite, civil expression.

"Did you just try to penetrate my rear aperture?" Nanami asked in a disturbed tone, as if even despite the visual evidence, he still couldn't comprehend the fate that had almost befallen him.

"Hey, it's a little more dignified than that," Kakashi said in mild objection. "It's a highly complex and revered technique, you know."

"Right. A highly complex and revered technique that's essentially an aggressive proctologic maneuver."

"That's not the way I'd personally put it–"

"Kakashi," Nanami said flatly. "You were going to shove your fingers up my ass."

"Yes I was."

"Go fuck yourself."

Satoru nearly lost it then and there, barely managing to stifle the giggles that threatened to bubble its way up his throat. "Alright, that's enough," he said, not fully able to keep the mirth out of his voice. "Nanami, you're back on the bench. It's time for the adults to start talking." He pretended not to hear Nanami muttering 'finally' as the first grade sorcerer stepped away from the two of them. "And as for you..."

He turned to Kakashi. "You seemed to have a lot of fun attacking jujutsu sorcerers with impunity this past month. Unfortunately for you, it ends now. What was it you said to Nanami earlier? Ah, yes. For your sake, I suggest you give up. I'd hate for us to come to blows."

Kakashi chuckled. "Oh please, there's no need to act coy. It's clear as day you want to fight me." He eye-smiled. "Don't worry, I'm not giving up either."

Satoru grinned. "I was hoping you'd say that."

Blue.

Negative space unfolded into being and latched onto Kakashi, a single line of impossibility connecting him to Satoru. Reality asserted an instant later, seeking to correct the spatial aberration. The line rippled before snapping inward, and Satoru hurtled through the air as an unseen force wrenched him toward Kakashi.

To any onlooker, he moved so fast it would've looked as though he'd teleported. It was a speed so fast it was nearly incomprehensible, defying both sense and the conventional laws of physics, made only possible with intricate space manipulation. With Blue, Satoru far surpassed Kakashi's speed from earlier.

And yet, Kakashi reacted anyhow.

The cursed spirit went from a relaxed posture to bending backward in an instant, Satoru's haymaker passing by harmlessly over him. Then, his body still parallel to the ground, Kakashi brought his hands together and blurred through dozens of hand seals.

Satoru looked down, Kakashi looked back up, and then the cursed spirit inhaled and breathed out a fireball point-blank into Satoru's face. Simultaneously, all the lightbulbs overhead flickered before a pillar of lightning shot through the entire ceiling altogether and slammed down onto Satoru, so blindingly bright it was like a second sun had awakened in the bookstore.

Lightning met fire in an angry crackle before an explosion blasted outward, sending dust and smoke everywhere. When it cleared, it revealed Satoru to be completely unharmed – and alone.

Satoru blinked. "Huh?"

A thunk sounded from the corner of the room, and Satoru looked over only to see that it was a metal knife that had sunk into the wall. In the split second he was distracted, the ground behind him swelled and Kakashi burst through. The sound of chirping birds filled the room, and Satoru whirled around to see Kakashi thrusting a ball of lightning toward him, its lethality evident from a single glance.

It stopped a millimeter in front of Satoru's face.

"Wow," Satoru said. "You're good."

"Thank you," Kakashi said amicably. He gave his hand an experimental twist, the lightning pulsating ferociously. It failed to pierce through. "Hmm. This is new." He looked at Satoru, his gaze landing on his Six Eyes. "A gravity technique?"

"Close, but not quite," Satoru said. "It's Infinity."

"Infinity?" Kakashi asked as he made a hand seal. His body flickered with errant sparks of electricity before lightning flared into existence, branching out into dozens of streaks that attacked Satoru from every direction. It died down after several seconds, once again revealing Satoru to be untouched.

"Yeah," Satoru said. "Achilles and the tortoise – though I suppose you probably don't know your literature very well, being a newborn curse and all." He paused as he remembered what Kakashi had been in the process of purchasing when he and Nanami had entered the bookstore. "Well. Classical literature, at least. But anyway, my technique is the convergence of an infinite series. I divide the space between us infinitely so that things that approach me will slow down and never reach me."

"Oh, so you're talking about the Nidaime Paradox," Kakashi said in understanding. "A kunai traveling through the air to strike a moving target must travel through incrementally smaller proportions of distance infinitely, so it theoretically should never reach its target."

"... I haven't heard it being expressed that way before, but yes, more or less," Satoru said. "No matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to overcome my Limitless."

"That's somewhat unfair, don't you think?"

Satoru chuckled. "Just wait till you see the advanced versions of my technique. In fact, here's one now." He pointed a finger gun at Kakashi. "Red."

Kakashi's eyes widened, his composure finally breaking for the first time in the fight, and Satoru was satisfied to see some genuine fear in the curse's eyes. A red orb formed at the tips of Satoru's fingers, compressed space swirling with reverse cursed energy. Kakashi leaped back, trying to gain some distance, but he was too slow.

The orb detonated.

Space expanded in space, and Kakashi was blasted backward by the staggering force. The cursed spirit crashed through several bookcases, splinters scattering in his wake, before a dirt wall rose from the ground and caught Kakashi, its softened exterior dampening the impact. Even so, though, deep fissures spread across the wall before it crumpled a moment later, and Kakashi continued to stumble back several steps.

"See what I mean?" Satoru smiled, leisurely strolling forward. "So, will you surrender now?"

"Okay."

"Then prepare to – " Satoru paused. "Wait. Okay?"

Kakashi raised his hands and eye-smiled. "Yup. You got me. I surrender."

"... Just like that?"

"Just like that."

No. There was no way their fight was going to end like this, right? It was too soon.

"You don't want to try breaking through my Limitless?" Satoru asked, trying not to sound too desperate. "You can still turn this fight around, you know. It's not over yet. You can beat me."

"Nah, you'd win," Kakashi said. "No point in continuing this fight when we both know how it'd end up."

"But... I... Alright. That's reasonable."

Well, okay, maybe Satoru was overreacting a little. In his defense, he had been looking forward to fighting Kakashi the entire past month. Sue him for getting excited. He should've expected this as the outcome, though. Even if Kakashi was strong, he was still nowhere near Satoru's level.

Nobody was.

This was fine, though. Even if the fight had been far too short for his liking, he still had the subsequent interrogation to look forward to.

"So. What next?" Kakashi asked.

Satoru shrugged. "Oh, the usual. I'm going to knock you out, take you to a secure room, and make you tell me everything I want. After that, I'll decide your fate."

"Maa, sounds like a blast."

Satoru smiled. "You don't know the half of it. I have a lot of questions for you, my dear Kakashi, and you're going to answer each and every single one of them."

He stepped forward, cursed energy gathering at his fingertips. He reached up and was about to tap Kakashi's forehead when the cursed spirit spoke up.

"Oh, one more thing."

"Mmm?" Satoru stopped. "What is it?"

"I changed my mind," Kakashi said. "I want to add a condition for the terms of my surrender."

"I don't think you're in a position to be making any demands. But hey, I'm a generous man. What do you want?"

"The book."

It took Satoru a second to understand what the curse meant. He laughed.

"Alright, it's a deal. I'll buy it for you."

A single tap to the forehead later and the cursed spirit collapsed, unconscious.

[-∞,∞]

The curse woke without any fanfare. It didn't stir or give any indication that it was waking; one moment it was slumbering, the next moment it was opening its eyes.

The first thing it saw was Gojo Satoru's grinning face.

"Morning!" Satoru smiled, raising a hand in greeting. "Have a nice nap?"

Kakashi blinked, his eyes flickering around as he took in his surroundings. His limbs were bound tightly behind the wooden chair he was sitting on. Thousands of paper tags covered the walls and hung from the ceiling, and kumiko lamps lay haphazardly on the ground, emitting a dim, subdued yellow glow that failed to fully drive away the shadows in the room. The room was entirely sealed, and there wasn't a door or exit anywhere to be seen.

Satoru was sitting across from him, straddling a chair in reverse and holding a box of strawberry-flavored pocky. As Kakashi watched, Satoru took out a stick and bit into it, breaking off a piece with a satisfying crunch. Their eyes met, and Satoru sent him a bold grin which Kakashi returned with a look that seemed almost bored.

"So," Satoru said, when it became apparent the curse wasn't going to say anything. "Twenty-nine total attacks, huh? You sure were busy in the past month."

"I make it a habit to be productive with my time."

"I'll bet. Why did you attack them?"

Kakashi shrugged. "To be fair, the first couple of times, they were the ones who attacked me first. Completely unprovoked, too."

"Oh? For some reason, I find that hard to believe."

"Hey, it's true. I was only defending myself."

"Right. And what about all the other times?"

Kakashi smiled. "Well, you know what they say about the best defense."

"Heh," Satoru grinned. "And I suppose robbing them after you beat them up was just rubbing salt into the wound?"

"That, and I needed the money. I didn't have the necessary papers to get employed." Kakashi sighed. "A pity, too. I would've rather enjoyed being a middle school teacher. I thought about forging some papers, but I decided against it."

Satoru snorted. "Good thing you did. Anyone who lets you have access to children would have failed society in general."

"Now that's hurtful... I'll have you know that, once upon a time, I was actually given three students to teach." A genuine smile spread across Kakashi's face at the memory. "Now those were the good old days."

Satoru blinked. "You had students?"

"Yup!" Kakashi grinned. "Three of the cutest little twelve-year-olds you have ever seen."

"Twelve-year-olds?" Satoru was slightly taken aback. "Not even curses, but literal kids? That's surprising."

"Why? What's the issue?"

"Setting aside the fact that you're a cursed spirit for a moment... You quite literally have a technique that involves shoving your fingers up someone's rear end. That's not exactly a redeeming quality for a teacher."

"Have a technique?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Satoru, I used that technique on one of them."

A stunned silence filled the room for a moment.

"No," Satoru breathed. "You didn't."

Kakashi leaned forward, his face utterly serious. "Twice."

"Holy shit," Satoru said, sounding impressed. "Not even I've done something that horrific before. Can I get that down in writing, by any chance?"

"What for?"

Satoru grinned. "So the next time my own students complain about how much I suck as a teacher, I'll have incontrovertible proof that it can, in fact, be a whole hell of a lot worse."

Kakashi chuckled. "They'll learn to appreciate you someday."

"After all the things I've done for them, they better. Want some pocky?"

Kakashi looked bemused by the abrupt transition but shook his head. "I don't like sweets."

Satoru froze, in the middle of taking a bite. "You... don't?" he asked blankly, as if he couldn't comprehend the idea. "What, do you prefer the taste of human flesh instead?"

"Maa, it's a little bit too stringy for my tastes. Fish is far tastier."

Satoru snorted. "What are you supposed to be, a cat?"

"Hey. If anything, I'm a dog." Kakashi's lips curved into a small, peculiar smile. "Or a hound, if you want to be more specific." Satoru could practically hear the subtext laden in those words, though he wasn't able to understand any of it.

"I'll have to keep that in mind then," Satoru said. "Your eating preferences aside, though..." His Six Eyes bored into him. "You've gotten me very curious about you, Kakashi. From your unique cursed energy to your cursed technique – how did you use both lightning and fire earlier? – to your intangibility to your kaleidoscopic eyes..." He smiled in barely constrained excitement. "Oh, I don't even know where to start. Brace yourself, because I'm about to pick your secrets apart one by one."

"Ah," Kakashi said. "This is awkward. I think there's been a misunderstanding. You seem to be under the impression that you're actually going to be able to make me talk."

"You don't think I can?"

"Maa, I know you can't."

Satoru's smile grew wider. "You seem awfully confident in yourself. Perhaps if I explained the situation you're in, you'd find yourself being more agreeable." He gestured around them. "We're currently deep within the crypts of Jujutsu High. The room we're in is a secure sealing chamber that's been around for several centuries. Even I would find it rather difficult to escape from here if I didn't have the key."

There were only two rooms like this in the world, the other being in the Kyoto headquarters, and both were constructed by Master Tengen sometime back in the Muromachi Period. The thousands of paper sealing talismans littered around the room radiated power; despite their unassuming appearance, Satoru could see how they imbued the boundaries of the chamber with an impenetrable layer of cursed energy.

"Of course, you might think you'd be able to escape with your intangibility trick, or some other nifty ability," Satoru continued. "You'd be wrong. With my Six Eyes, I'll be able to detect the instant you start trying to use cursed energy and stop you. I'll pull you into my domain if necessary; even if you're immune to the effects of the Unlimited Void, you won't be able to escape the barrier itself. On top of that, your bindings have been enchanted so that they'd disrupt your control over cursed energy, slowing you down even further."

"Mmm. And I presume there's an army of jujutsu sorcerers, all itching for revenge, waiting outside in the unlikely event I do manage to escape?"

"No, nothing so extravagant. Just a jujutsu sorcerer, singular."

Kakashi blinked. "Only Nanami knows I'm here?"

"What, did you think I'd share you with anyone else? Only you, me, Nanami, and the manager who drove us know that you're in here. Also Tengen, probably, but that guy doesn't matter much."

The look on Ijichi's face when Satoru had called him over to load an unconscious curse into his car had been priceless. The subsequent drive back to Jujutsu High had been one of the most tense drives Satoru had ever been on. Ijichi had broken the speed limit twice in his haste, Nanami's eyes had never left Kakashi in the rearview mirror from where he was sitting in the shotgun seat, and Satoru had sat with Kakashi in the back, taking selfies to commemorate the successful capture. After they'd arrived, they had snuck Kakashi through the barrier and into the underground tombs where the sealing chamber was located, somehow managing to avoid discovery.

"But don't worry," Satoru said. "I'm not a cruel man. There's something in it for you if you work with me." He reached into his jacket and withdrew a book. The same book Kakashi had been in the middle of purchasing before they'd interrupted him. "If you tell me everything, I'll give you this for free! Isn't it amazing!"

"That is tempting," Kakashi admitted.

"And, before you ask, just know that I don't have anything to do for the next forty-eight hours. I cleared my schedule just for you, so we have all the time in the world to get very well-acquainted with each other."

"I see," Kakashi said. "You certainly covered your bases well."

"I did, didn't I?" Satoru sounded inordinately pleased with himself. He leaned in, vivid blue piercing into dull grey. "So you can act as nonchalant and fearless as you want, but the fact is, you surrendered to me for a reason. You're at my mercy, Kakashi. It's time to start cooperating. You say you're a dog? Very well, then." His eyes glinted. "Bark for me."

"Hmm. No, I don't think so."

Satoru sighed. "Let's not make this harder for the both of us. Just tell me what I want, and who knows? Maybe I'll even let you go afterward."

There was a long moment of silence.

"Whoever's in charge of Jujutsu High's defenses is a genius," Kakashi said suddenly. Satoru furrowed his brow at the random change in topic. "Infiltrating the exterior barrier was easy enough. All I had to do was follow some of the jujutsu sorcerers that I'd defeated. If I had to guess, it's probably a barrier that's meant more to conceal from non-sorcerers than to protect. But the barriers surrounding the inner underground sanctum?" He whistled. "It could take me years and I doubt I'd be able to find my way in. I don't know who designed it, but damn were they good."

"Kakashi..." Satoru felt a strange premonition wash over him. "What are you talking about?"

"I admit, you two surprised me when you tracked me down in that bookstore," Kakashi said, ignoring him. "It appears there are still some things I have to learn. Thankfully, I was able to turn it to my advantage. See, I'd been wondering how to bypass the barriers for quite some time now – and then suddenly, I didn't have to anymore."

Before Satoru could figure out what Kakashi meant, his phone rang. Kakashi nodded toward it. "I'd pick that up if I were you."

Maintaining eye contact with Kakashi, Satoru answered his phone. "Hello-?"

"Gojo! It's a disaster!" Ijichi's frantic voice exploded out at him through the tinny speaker. "Someone broke in!"

Satoru's gaze sharpened as he shot to his feet. "Where?"

"Everywhere! The warehouse! The vaults! The archives! All the critical areas within the inner sanctum! Is Kakashi still with you? Is this his doing? Or was it some other cursed spirit taking advantage while we were distracted?"

"... I'll get back to you on that," Satoru said before he hung up the phone, ignoring Ijichi's 'wait no!' He frowned down at Kakashi. "Alright. I'll bite. How?"

"How what?" Kakashi asked innocently.

"How did you do it? There's no way you could've escaped without me knowing. I was in here with you the entire time – " Satoru froze. "Oh."

Kakashi smiled. "You really shouldn't have left the room earlier to go get some pocky."

"You've got to be kidding me. You faked being unconscious?"

"Got it in one!"

"Huh. So you got captured intentionally so that I'd bring you into the heart of Jujutsu High. But... why? There's a hundred ways this could've gone wrong for you. Why risk it?"

"Information," Kakashi said simply. "When there's an entire organization devoted to hunting down alleged curses like me, gathering intelligence is the obvious move. Besides, I had a feeling my plan would work out." He eye-smiled. "So, you were right, Satoru. I did surrender for a reason."

Satoru laughed. "Heh. Not bad. But that doesn't matter, does it? Even if you somehow escaped the room earlier, you're still in here now." He snapped his fingers and a massive pressure exploded out from him, cursed energy filling the room and bearing down onto the curse. Satoru's smile disappeared from his face as his eyes hardened. "You won't escape from me again."

"Aww," Kakashi said, seeming completely unaffected by Satoru's aura. "It's cute that you think that. Anyhow, I think I've stalled long enough. It's time I take my leave." He paused. "Oh, and hold onto the book for me, will you? I'll be back for it."

And he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Satoru sat very still, his eyes going wide. A clone? He had been talking to a clone this entire time? A clone had fooled his Six Eyes?! That was impossible. The very thought was ludicrous. And yet, at the same time, it felt completely true to form for Kakashi.

After all... Satoru looked down at the now-empty box of pocky he was still holding. Getting captured on purpose for the sake of infiltrating a closely-guarded area while being actively watched over by the strongest sorcerer on the planet... It was less a plan and more an insanely risky gamble. For anyone else, Satoru would've thought it was a suicide move, but for Kakashi... Well, he managed to pull it off, didn't he? His sheer audacity had paid off.

Slowly, Satoru smiled.

"Well played, Kakashi," he said. "Well played."

He had underestimated the cursed spirit this time. He wouldn't make the same mistake again.

Chapter Text

Located at the edge of Jujutsu High's grounds, the Jujutsu High Lounge B was a distinct departure from the traditional and minimalist design that comprised the rest of the campus, instead going for a more luxurious approach. The floors were covered in a lush carpet, the sprawling couches cost more than the average car, and the espresso machine on the counter was top-of-the-line. The lounge wouldn't have looked out of place had it been in a five star international hotel, and though it technically was open to all jujutsu sorcerers, it was an unspoken rule that only Gojo Satoru and those associated with him were allowed inside.

Apparently, the entire room had been funded by one of Gojo's overseas trips to Las Vegas. Incidentally, if one were to travel to several well-known casinos in that city, they would be able to see Gojo's smug face grinning back at them from the lists of blacklisted individuals for undisclosed reasons.

It went without saying that Lounge B stood as an object of scorn for the sorcerers who looked down on material wealth and envy for the rest. However, all the opulence in the world couldn't distract from the tense, uncomfortable atmosphere currently pervading the room.

"I'm still assessing the full scope of the damages," Ijichi said, the stress lines on his face seeming more pronounced than ever, "but preliminary findings reveal that in his heist, Kakashi was able to make off with..."

Despite having memorized every word of his report, he still looked down at it in a vain hope that maybe, just maybe the letters had magically changed in the past few minutes.

No such luck. He swallowed.

"Several special-grade cursed tools. A handful of forbidden scrolls. The blueprints to both Jujutsu High campuses. Approximately ten pounds – fifty million yen's worth – of unmarked gold bars." Each item named felt like the heavy strike of an executioner's axe. "Furthermore, while I cannot determine how much of our archives he read through, I think it is safe to assume that he likely knows the identities and techniques of every Jujutsu High jujutsu sorcerer we have on file, as well as every mission we have taken in the past twelve years." Ijichi paused. "And he stole my lunch. I don't know why he did it, or how he even knew it was mine, but it was missing when I went to go get it."

"Ah," Gojo raised a finger from where he was sprawled on the couch. He didn't seem to be bothered by Ijichi's words at all, and indeed he seemed to be almost amused by them. "Sorry, that one was me. You were taking too long earlier, and I got hungry."

"Oh you've got to be kidding–" Ijichi cut himself off. "Whatever. Whatever, I don't care. In any case, this event stands as one of the most catastrophic tactical failures in Jujutsu High's history. Never before has our security been this thoroughly compromised. And we're the ones responsible for it."

He gripped his head with one hand, no doubt trying to stave off the inevitable migraine. "Oh god, we messed up. They're going to use us as an example in future classes. We're going to end up on the godforsaken curriculum."

"Hey, relax, you're getting ahead of yourself," Gojo said. "Now, I admit that the situation might be a little suboptimal, but I think that if you look at this from another angle, you'll see that things aren't actually that bad."

"Another angle?" Nanami repeated, sounding incredulous. The entire time Ijichi had been delivering the incident report, he had been leaning against the wall, a stony look on his face. "Gojo, I realize your Six Eyes may grant you the ability to look at things from a perspective that the rest of us cannot physically perceive, but even you cannot possibly think this situation is anything but an utter disaster."

"Aww, come on. Don't you think you're being a little too cynical here?"

"My level of cynicism is perfectly appropriate for this situation." Nanami narrowed his eyes. "Especially since we're only in this mess because of you."

Gojo drew back, aghast. "Excuse me? Are you implying that this is my fault?"

"I'm not implying anything. I'm stating it outright."

"Nanami! How could you say such a thing?" Gojo sounded genuinely hurt, his hand clasped over his heart.

"Quite easily," Nanami said, completely immune to Gojo's feigned victimhood. "Kakashi was only able to do all of this because someone decided they needed to get snacks."

Gojo coughed. "I... You can't blame me for that. My blood sugar was getting low."

"You couldn't just deal with it?"

"I'm diabetic! It was a medical emergency!"

Nanami stared at him flatly. "No, you're not."

"I so am," Gojo countered. "In fact, I don't believe you are complying with Jujutsu High's newest anti-discrimination policies. Do you want me to bring this up to HR?"

"One, we don't have an HR department; two, even if we did, HR can kiss my ass," Nanami growled. "But that's beside the point – you don't have diabetes."

"I do."

"Yeah?" Nanami raised an eyebrow. "Prove it."

"What? How?"

Nanami reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small plastic jar. He set it down on the coffee table in front of Gojo. "Piss."

Gojo stared at Nanami. "...what?"

"You heard me."

"Why do you just have that with you...?"

Nanami didn't respond, instead crossing his arms.

"You can't be serious. You want me to do a field urine test? Right here? Right now?"

"Right here." Nanami's expression could've been carved from stone, hard and unforgiving as it was. "Right now."

Several seconds passed. Gojo folded first.

"Alright, fine. But c'mon, I only left the room for, like, two minutes! How was I supposed to know he would regain consciousness so quickly, much less be able to bypass the security measures? You saw how secure the sealing chamber was!"

"Standard procedure says you never ever leave a prisoner unattended!" Nanami said. "Not to mention he's your countercurse, of course he'd be slippery enough to escape." He sighed and rubbed his face with his hand. "What a mess. If you had just called me in to stand guard while you took your 'break', we wouldn't even be in this situation."

"You know there's no way I could've allowed that."

"Why not? Because you didn't want to share your new toy?"

"No, because I didn't think it was a good idea to leave Kakashi in a room alone with someone who wanted to torture him."

"What on earth are you talking about?" Nanami frowned. "You do realize I was exaggerating when I said we were to be torture specialists, right? I wasn't actually planning on torturing him."

Gojo pulled down his blindfold and stared at Nanami with his Six Eyes. "Is that so? Empty your pockets."

"Don't change the subject."

"Empty your pockets, Nanami."

"Why should I."

"Nanami."

"No."

"Too bad," Gojo said and snapped his fingers, a blue aura flickering to life around his hand. Nanami made an aborted movement, but it was too late. Several objects immediately flew out of Nanami's pockets and into Gojo's open palm: a pair of pliers, a couple rusty screws, thumbtacks, and a packet of matches. Ijichi looked at the items with wide eyes before turning to stare at Nanami. Though Nanami's expression remained as stoic as ever, the aura he exuded suddenly became very, very awkward.

"So," Gojo grinned. "You were saying?"

"..."

"..."

"We need to figure out what our next move should be," Nanami said, resolutely ignoring Gojo's smug expression. "Loathe as I am to admit it, Kakashi has been running circles around us this entire time. We have no way of tracking him down and no way to predict what he's going to do next. He's humiliating us. Kakashi might as well be going up against a bunch of farmers for all the resistance we're putting up against him."

"Heh," Gojo chuckled. "Good one."

Nanami stared at him blankly.

"Because his name means scarecrow..." Gojo trailed off. "Never mind. Anyhow..." His gaze grew pensive. "There's not much we can do. His skills at stealth and evasion are frankly absurd. After he escaped, I spent over an hour trying to track him down to no avail."

"But how?" Ijichi asked. "He must've left behind at least some residuals. While they were too minute for me or Nanami to detect, surely you could perceive them with your Six Eyes."

"Yeah," Gojo said. "I did. I followed his residuals for twenty kilometers – until the trail suddenly went cold without warning, and I found myself having to explain why I had just barged into a high school women's locker room."

Nanami choked on air and Ijichi spluttered. "What?!"

"Don't ask," Gojo said, his expression wooden. "If I end up on any lists, just know that I'm innocent. Anyway... After that, I retraced my steps and found a few other trails, but they also all turned out to be wild goose chases. It's like Kakashi disappeared into thin air."

"How irritating," Nanami said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I assume that after what happened at the bookstore, Kakashi will be on guard against mundane attempts at locating him as well." A vein in his forehead pulsed. "How frustrating."

"Yeah," Gojo said. "Ah well. We're lucky that Kakashi only stole some stuff. It could've been much worse."

Ijichi made some indiscernible sound in his throat that sounded suspiciously like fuck you Gojo.

"I don't know, Gojo," Nanami said. "Kakashi was powerful enough already. Now, he's armed with several special grade cursed tools plus knowledge on our personnel files."

"Eh, who cares about that. The only cursed tools that matter are the black ropes and the inverted spear of heaven – and I already took care of them both. It doesn't matter what Kakashi is armed with." He flashed a carefree grin. "I'll crush him either way."

After a moment, Nanami inclined his head. "Very well."

"There's just one more thing," Ijichi spoke up, sounding hesitant. "I didn't mention this earlier, but... during my investigation, I examined the archives where our records are stored. Kakashi was oddly respectful; while he had obviously broken in and read the files, he placed them all back into their correct spots. I didn't find any files missing – except for one file on a single jujutsu sorcerer."

Gojo chuckled. "Let me guess. Mine?"

"No," Ijichi said. "He took Geto Suguru's."

Gojo's expression went completely blank. His cursed energy flickered. Nanami tensed up and Ijichi was already bracing himself.

"Oh," Gojo said softly. "I see."

A silence fell over the room, the other two not daring to say anything.

"That doesn't make much sense," Gojo said at last. "Su– Geto's dead. Why would Kakashi take his file?"

"I have no clue," Ijichi said. "I just thought you should know."

Gojo nodded. "Fair enough. Thank you, Ijichi." And, for once, he sounded completely sincere when he said it. "At any rate... Unless we can somehow convince the Americans to lend us their spy satellites, I don't think we'll have much luck in tracking down Kakashi."

Nanami snorted. "I doubt even you can persuade them to help. Well, if we can't find Kakashi, then we'll have no choice but to wait for him to come to us. Assuming he doesn't just go into hiding."

"Yeah, no, not a chance in hell. I know his type. He's not one to hide in a hole somewhere. Trust me, he'll be back." Gojo smiled. "He's my curse, after all."

"Please stop sounding so pleased about that," said Nanami.

"You're just jealous I have a countercurse and you don't."

"I'll speak to Tengen-sama about beefing up our defenses," Ijichi said, pushing up his glasses as he began to jot down some notes. "If you're so sure Kakashi will be back, then it can't hurt to be more prepared. Perhaps Tengen-sama will be able to set up some sort of a barrier trap..." A notification sounded from his phone, which he checked. He paled. "Oh no."

"What's wrong?" Nanami asked.

"Well," Ijichi's eyes flickered back and forth nervously. "You have to understand... I tried to cover up the break-in, I really did, but... Kakashi stole some very important things. Things that belonged to the clans. It was impossible to keep everything a secret. I know you wanted to keep this to only us three, but... The higher-ups found out what happened, Gojo. And they want an explanation."

Gojo groaned. "Fuck me. You mean I have to deal with those fossils again?"

"No, I'd managed to hide our involvement in the whole thing. For once, they're not blaming you for what happened."

"Oh. Everything's fine then, no?"

"Not exactly," Ijichi said. "They're blaming Principal Yaga."

"Oh shit," Gojo said thoughtfully. "He's totally going to kill us." He ignored Nanami's muttered 'kill you, you mean'.

"It appears they're holding him responsible for everything," Ijichi said, rapidly tapping on his phone. "He's been in an emergency meeting with the higher-ups for the past hour trying to sort out this mess."

"Ah. How is it going?"

Ijichi swallowed. "Considering how I just received a text from him that reads 'code black, sos, send g.s. asap, not a drill'?" He showed them the screen. "I'd say it's going pretty damn bad."

There was a moment of shocked silence.

"The principal… asked… for Gojo?" Nanami asked, raw worry flashing across his face. "He willingly requested Gojo's presence in a meeting with the higher-ups?!"

"Huh," Gojo said, his expression unreadable. "They must be shafting him pretty hard if it's a code black." He was silent for a moment. Then, with a sharp clap against his thighs, he stood up. "Well, if the principal is asking me for help, then I'd hate to disappoint. I should go."

"Please don't kill anyone," Ijichi pleaded after him.

"No promises. I've been waiting ten years for this day," Gojo stopped at the door and turned back to look at them. Ijichi felt his stomach clench at the wild, terrifying smile stretched across Gojo's face.

"I might get a little overexcited, but I'll try my best to control myself – oh who am I kidding. Just make sure to have a dustpan ready just in case."

"I hate it when you say things like that," Ijichi said miserably. "I truly, sincerely do."

[-∞,∞]

Contrary to popular belief, Satoru didn't actually know how to teleport. He called it teleportation for convenience's sake, but it would be more accurate to call it spatial displacement. By using a specialized form of Blue, he was able to force the fabrics of space to fold inward on itself, compressing the distance needed to travel from one point to another into zero length. This was only made possible with his Six Eyes, which gave him the raw precision needed to calculate and stabilize the curvature without accidentally blowing a hole into the spacetime continuum.

However, since he was only manipulating the curvature of existing space and not using true teleportation, that meant his spatial displacement had several limitations, the main one being that he needed a clear path to his target. If the path was obstructed by matter, then the integrity of the spatial fold would collapse and normal reality would reassert itself, rendering the technique a failure.

This meant that, unfortunately, he couldn't just teleport into the higher-ups council room of Jujutsu Headquarters whenever he wanted to.

Using his Blue to rocket through the air at ultra-high speeds while wrapping his entire body in a dense impenetrable field of Infinity, on the other hand?

That. That he most certainly could do.

Satoru burst through the walls of the council room with a massive crash, a large boom echoing out as dust and debris went flying everywhere. The sheer force of his entry sent large gusts of wind buffeting through the room, knocking down the encircling paper doors that concealed the higher-ups and blowing out all the candles.

"Hey hey hey!" Satoru smiled, arms spread wide in greeting. "Did you guys miss me?"

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

The dust settled to reveal the six higher-ups plus Principal Yaga staring at him with emotions ranging from appalled disbelief to incandescent rage.

"GOJO SATORU!" Jujutsu Inspector General Zenin Hiroshi strode forward. Appointed directly by the Japanese Prime Minister himself, the elderly man was the leader of the higher-ups, the ruling body of the entire Jujutsu society. Ordinarily a calm and composed man, he was anything but as his face rapidly cycled through different shades of red and rapidly approached a deep purple. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Satoru grinned, light streaming in from the massive hole behind him, casting his shadow over the occupants within. "I heard you guys were throwing a party in here, and I thought I'd join in. Hope I'm not too late."

"Is this supposed to be a joke?!" Another higher-up, Zenin Kenji, asked incredulously. "We have tolerated your indiscretions so far, but this is crossing a line!"

"You shame our clan with your actions!" Gojo Kiyoshi spat at him. "Never before in our entire history has such a inglorious event occurred. Have your caretakers taught you nothing?"

"Gojo, what are you doing?" The wizened form of Principal Gakuganji stepped forward. On top of acting as the principal of Kyoto Jujutsu High, he was also a higher-up, though unofficially the lowest-ranked. "This is going too far, even for you."

"The sheer nerve! The sheer impudence!" Kamo Arata hissed. "Why, I have never seen such blatant disrespect before. You shame yourself!"

And on and on it went, the higher-ups clamoring over each other as they lambasted him, their furious voices overlapping in their rants. Satoru tuned them out easily enough, instead looking over at Yaga, who was standing behind the higher-ups and trying his absolute hardest to not draw any attention. Their eyes met, and Satoru could practically hear Yaga's silent 'what the fuck Gojo seriously?' from across the room – but beneath that, he saw a deep sense of relief in his former teacher's face.

So Yaga really had been in trouble, huh. Normally, he'd have been yelling at Gojo along with the other higher-ups.

"Do you truly believe that being Gojo Satoru grants you the free rein to do whatever you want?" Inspector General Hiroshi asked.

At this, Satoru finally responded. "Yeah," he flashed them a cocky smile. "I do."

It was almost comical how all six higher-ups simultaneously drew back in offense at his answer.

"You insolent whelp!" Inspector General Hiroshi snarled, sounding twice as incensed as before. "Your arrogance blinds you! You think your name allows you to trample the rules of these sacred halls? Know your place!"

"Know my place, huh?" Satoru tilted his head. "Gladly."

A terrible wave of power exploded out from Satoru's form, an incomprehensible weight slamming down onto the higher-ups and forcing them to their knees. The air became suffocating to breathe, filled with so much cursed energy it became nearly tangible. The walls groaned and cracked from the unbelievable pressure as Satoru's Infinity expanded to fill the entire room.

The cocky grin on Satoru's face disappeared, replaced by a severe expression so utterly devoid of any emotion it was like gazing into the void itself. His blindfold fluttered off by itself, revealing the brilliant blue of his Six Eyes, colder than an arctic winter.

"I think you six may have forgotten," Satoru said, his quiet voice resounding in the oppressive stillness of the room, "but I am the strongest. Not by a little. Not even by a lot. I'm the strongest by a fucking disgraceful amount. There is a larger gap between you and I than there is between a firecracker and a nuclear bomb. We are not even close – we do not even exist in the same dimension. You six, always cloistered away behind your adorned walls and doors, seem to have forgotten that."

The higher-ups all struggled to move, to get back on their feet, their muscles tensing and their cursed energies flaring, to no avail. The force of Satoru's Limitless was too much. It pressed down on them like Buddha's right hand, and if Satoru wanted to, he could make them all go splat with just a thought.

Huh. Why didn't he?

It would be so, so easy...

His fingers twitched–

"Why are you doing this?" Inspector General Hiroshi managed to gasp out. He tried to maintain a strong tone, but the tremor of fear in his voice was unmistakable. "An unforgivable lapse in security occurred today. It is only natural to reprimand Principal Yaga for his failure–"

"Oh, right," Satoru said. "Yeah, that was actually me."

"What?"

"I captured the cursed spirit Kakashi earlier today and brought him into the sealing chamber to interrogate him, but due to some unforeseeable and unpreventable reasons, he managed to escape. I guess he took some souvenirs on his way out."

Inspector General Hiroshi gaped at him. "What?!"

"Yeah. My bad," Satoru shrugged. "Doesn't really matter, really. What does matter, however, is..." His eyes narrowed and his face darkened. "What, exactly, were you fuckers doing to my pookie wookie Yaga bear?"

All the way back when Satoru had still been a student in Jujutsu High, he had spent several days binge watching a bunch of James Bond movies with Suguru and Shoko. Afterward, the three of them had come up with an emergency code system for different situations and shared them with Yaga the next day during class. Yaga, their teacher at the time, had scoffed at them, saying that being a jujutsu sorcerer was nothing like being a spy – if it was, then he'd be driving a much nicer car. However, Yaga's memory must've been good enough to remember the emergency code system over a decade later.

Code blue meant 'enemy with illusionary ability.' Code periwinkle meant 'all clear but proceed with caution.'

Code black meant 'agent in mortal danger.'

"What do you mean?" Inspector General Hiroshi asked. "We were just discussing–"

"You can shut up now," Satoru interrupted. He turned to Yaga, who was currently backed up against the wall, looking as if he was trying his hardest to melt into the surface. When Satoru's gaze fell on him, Yaga waved his hands desperately, as if trying to signal to keep him out of it.

Satoru merely grinned. "Principal Yaga!"

"Goddamn," Yaga whispered under his breath as the six eyes of the higher-ups swiveled over to stare at him. "I-I mean. What's up?"

"So, what did these old bastards want with you?" Satoru asked.

Yaga glanced between Satoru and the higher-ups. He looked agonized for a few moments, but must've realized that there would be no way to resolve the situation diplomatically. He would have to choose a side.

It wasn't much of a choice.

"As punishment for my failure to preserve the security of the inner sanctum," Yaga said, "they ordered me to reveal the secret behind my cursed corpse creation."

Satoru froze. Out of everything, he hadn't expected that.

Years ago, when Yaga had first perfected his cursed corpse creation technique and created Panda, the higher-ups had nearly placed him under lifetime imprisonment out of fear that he might create his own cursed corpse army. He was restrained and interrogated for two weeks as they did everything they could to extract the secrets of his technique, but he had adamantly denied all knowledge of how it worked. In the end, since he hadn't technically done anything wrong, they had had no choice but to let him go.

Now, however, it seemed that the higher-ups were seizing this new opportunity to finally force the truth out of him.

And if Yaga told them his secrets, then the higher-ups would have no more reason to keep him alive, and his execution would be assured. The higher-ups couldn't have anyone other than them knowing the immensely powerful technique, after all.

Satoru's lips curled. In the end, it was the same story every time. The higher-ups were just a bunch of power-hungry old fools. Young jujutsu sorcerers – no. Young kids were dying on the streets before they even reached their twenties, while the higher-ups and the clans zealously guarded the very techniques and skills that could've kept them alive. Information was hoarded, not freely shared. It was just such a backwards, rotting system.

"It is our right to know," Kamo Arata said imperiously, glaring at Yaga. "Did you seriously think we believed you back then when you claimed to not know how Panda was created? We let it slide out of mercy, but with this latest transgression, it's clear that our leniency was a mistake–"

He stopped speaking abruptly. Likely because of the red orb at the tip of Satoru's finger gun, aimed straight at his face.

"Go on," Satoru urged. "Finish your sentence. Give me a reason."

Kamo Arata swallowed. Wisely, he kept silent.

Instead, it was Yaga who spoke up. "Gojo," he said weakly. "Let it go. It's fine. I'm sure they learned their lesson."

Satoru didn't give any indication he heard him. He just continued looking down dispassionately at the higher-up, the red orb swirling with more and more condensed positive cursed energy.

"Satoru," Yaga tried again. "Please."

Satoru glanced at him, and Yaga felt a chill run through him at the look in Satoru's eyes. Though he would never say it out loud, Satoru didn't look human at this moment. His Six Eyes shone with an ethereal, otherworldly color, and it felt like some divine being studying the mortal riddle.

Then the moment passed and Satoru nodded, his cursed technique reversal dissipating. "Fine." He turned back to the higher-ups. "You're lucky Yaga is such a nice guy." He shook his head. "You've gotten too bold recently. First, it was your plot to kill Itadori Yuuji. Now this. This will be your only warning." His eyes flashed. "Watch yourselves."

The Infinity in the room pulsed dangerously one last time before it disappeared. The higher-ups all heaved heavy breaths, some of them collapsing while others shot to their feet and tried their best to compose themselves. Satoru ignored all of them, instead turning around and casually strolling out the hole he came from. "Come on, Yaga. Let's get outta here. I'm craving something sweet after this."

Yaga hurriedly fell in line behind him, dutifully trying his best to not meet any of the higher-ups' gazes. Though it looked like one or two wanted to call out, none of them said anything as Satoru and Yaga walked away, leaving behind the ruined council room in their wake.

[-∞,∞]

"Oh my fucking god," said Ijichi.

Nanami's reaction was more nonverbal. He simply walked over to the lounge's cabinets, pulled out a bottle of vodka and a shot glass, filled the shot glass up to the brim, then abandoned the plan altogether and took a long, long drink straight from the bottle.

Gojo grinned, his cursed energy still thrumming underneath his skin. "That felt so good. I need to thank Kakashi for giving me this opportunity."

After a brief debriefing, Yaga had practically sprinted away, muttering to himself how none of this had been in the damn job description and that he needed to update his will. Gojo had then returned to Lounge B where Nanami and Ijichi were waiting and filled them in on what happened.

"You really just... broke into the heart of Jujutsu Headquarters... and attacked the higher-ups..." After a brief moment of thought, Ijichi spun around, took the shot glass, and threw it back in a single gulp. "What have you done?"

"Something I should've done much sooner," Gojo said. "Is this what heroin feels like? I think this might be what heroin feels like."

"I knew this day would come eventually," Nanami said, finally setting down the bottle – holy fuck, half of it was already empty. Gojo eyed Nanami warily. The former salaryman didn't even look flushed. Just how soul-sucking had his previous job been to drive him to such disturbing levels of alcohol tolerance? "What a pain. I only hope that this was something you fully thought through and not just some impulsive decision you made on the fly."

"Trust me," Gojo said. "I've been thinking about doing this ever since I was a child. Though..."

Several indecipherable emotions flickered across his face.

You could do it, Satoru.

Gojo looked down at his hands. "Maybe I..." He trailed off.

He startled as a warm hand fell on his shoulder. He looked up to see a solemn expression on Nanami's face.

"Whatever you choose, I'll back you up," he said.

"Same here," Ijichi said, looking as if he was regretting the words even as he said them, but his earnest tone not wavering one bit.

Slowly, Gojo smiled. "Thank you, Ijichi, Nanamin. It means a lot."

"Of course."

"Don't call me Nanamin."

"Anyway, the higher-ups should back off for a while now," Gojo said. "They'll need some time to lick their wounds and recover their pride. I doubt they'll do anything for a bit."

"Err, Gojo," Ijichi said. "The Kyoto Goodwill Event is coming up in a few days, remember? Gakuganji is their principal, and you just humiliated him along with the rest of the higher-ups."

"Eh, I went easy on him compared to the others," Satoru said. "He's not truly one of them, in my opinion. He might be old and wrinkly, but the others are far more sickening and corrupt."

"Do you think that will stop him from commanding his students to go all-out on ours?"

Gojo blinked. "Ah. You think he'd be petty enough to do that?"

Ijichi and Nanami just looked at him.

Gojo chuckled. "Right, right. Well, it should be fine. I believe in my students. I just can't wait until he finds out Yuuji is still alive – the look on his face will be priceless. Maybe he'll finally have an aneurysm."

Nanami grunted. "You have your fun. This day has been too long. I'm going home." It was already almost midnight. "Have a good evening."

"Good night, Nanami," Ijichi said.

"Oh, one more thing," Gojo called after him.

Nanami turned back near the door. "What?"

"Clear your schedule during the days of the Kyoto Goodwill Event."

"No."

"Aww, please? For me?"

"I'm off those days," Nanami said, narrowing his eyes. "I'm always off those days. I requested those vacation days three months in advance this year."

"Yeah, well, cancel them."

"Absolutely not."

"I'll have the administration pay you triple overtime."

An internal war was fought within Nanami. It wasn't even close.

"I'll be there," Nanami said. "But why? Do you think something will happen?"

Gojo hummed. "Who knows, who knows. I have a gut feeling, though."