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Chapter Text

"Your total is nine hundred and fifty yen. Thank you for your purchase!"

Picking up his coffee and a slice of cake, Satoru whistled a jaunty tune as he left the cafe. He patiently waited for the pedestrian signal to turn green before crossing the street, taking a sip of his coffee as he stepped into the veil. The blend was quite delicious, and – oh my, was that a hint of citrus?

Daring. Daring, but delightful.

He let out a contented sigh as he entered the bookstore.

"Yo, Nanami!" Satoru said cheerfully. "The coffee from the cafe across the street is positively to die for. You have to try it out."

Before him, Nanami's body streaked across the air and crashed into a shelf of books. It promptly broke under his weight, books scattering everywhere as the whole structure collapsed in a chorus of creaks and groans.

Satoru strolled across the room, completely ignoring the cursed spirit to his side and stopping in front of Nanami. He extended his hand.

The hand still holding his coffee.

"Want a sip?" Satoru offered generously.

Nanami looked up at him for a long moment with a dull stare that said I can't believe you just left an active battlefield to buy some coffee, but at the same time, I very much can.

"I'll pass," he declined as he stood up, brushing himself off. "You put so much sugar into your coffee, I'm surprised your Limitless doesn't categorize it as a threat to your health."

"That's because I'm not a weakling," Satoru sniffed before whirling around. "Hey, Kakashi!" he called. "Wanna try some? It's delicious!"

Kakashi, who had been watching them bemusedly, considered it for a second. Then, he shrugged. "Sure, why not."

Satoru blinked at the unexpected response before grinning. "That's the spirit!" In a flicker of cursed energy, he appeared right in front of Kakashi. The cursed spirit didn't even flinch; he just continued to regard Satoru with the same relaxed, slightly bored expression he always had. "Y'know, for a cursed spirit, you're a lot less uptight than I thought you'd be."

"That's because I'm not a cursed spirit."

"Perhaps not a conventional one," Satoru acknowledged. "The bookstore clerk from earlier was able to see you, after all. A side effect of the strange cursed energy running through you?"

Just like before, Kakashi's cursed energy was downright unnatural; negative and positive cursed energy metamorphosed with a foreign element that resulted in a white cursed energy that composed of his entire body. However, unlike before, the orange energy had disappeared entirely, and the dense energy had faded significantly as well.

"But then again," Satoru continued, "considering what you're the cursed spirit of, it makes sense that you'd be a special case."

Kakashi looked puzzled. "I'm not the cursed spirit of anything."

Satoru laughed. "Of course you're not," he said with a conspiratorial wink. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. Just know that I'm onto you. Anyway, coffee?"

He held out his cup, which Kakashi accepted after a moment with a slight nod. The cursed spirit reached up to lower his mask—

There was a loud crash to the side. Satoru and Nanami whirled over on reflex only to see that a bookshelf had toppled over. Turning back, Satoru narrowed his eyes when he saw that Kakashi had already finished drinking, his mask firmly back in place.

Coincidence? Perhaps. But the timing…

"Why is this so sweet?" Kakashi asked as he examined the drink, his nose slightly wrinkled under his mask. "What is this?"

"An iced mocha latte with six pumps of vanilla syrup, a caramel drizzle, and a touch of citrus," Satoru grinned. "It's delicious, isn't it?"

Kakashi stared at him. "What the fuck."

"Oh come on. Don't tell me you take your coffee black."

"I do..."

"Ugh," Satoru made a face as Kakashi handed his drink back. "Disgusting. You're just like Nanami. How can you stand to drink that swill?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "I don't think that means much coming from you."

"Loathe as I am to agree, it has a point," Nanami said as he stepped forward. "It's a sad day when a cursed spirit has better taste in coffee than you."

"Black just like your soul!"

Nanami ignored Satoru as he straightened his lapels. "Now, will you help me exorcise this curse? Or would you rather finish your cake first?"

He closed his eyes when he heard the telltale sound of a plastic container being opened, a rich chocolate aroma wafting through the air.

Satoru grinned, and though Kakashi hid it well, Satoru could see the amusement in his gaze as well.

"Fine," Nanami said, opening his eyes. "I'll take care of it myself." He glanced down at his watch. "Good timing, too." His gaze became steely. "I'm going into overtime."

A light blue aura shimmered to life around Nanami's form as his binding vow took effect. Kakashi's eyebrows rose slightly as Nanami's cursed energy surged in both potency and quantity.

"My technique divides the target along a line," Nanami said as he loosened his tie. "It forcibly creates a weak spot at the—"

"Seven-to-three ratio point?"

Nanami paused, surprise flitting across his face. "You know?!"

"I didn't, but thanks for confirming it," Kakashi shrugged. "Every time you attacked me, you didn't target my vitals like a normal person would have, but instead you struck at seemingly arbitrary points on my body. Took me a while, but I managed to figure out the pattern. It was a bit obvious, really."

Nanami twitched. "Obvious? How is it-? No, never mind." He shook his head. "You're right. My technique revolves around the seven-to-three ration point. In addition, the lines don't have to measure up to your full height or wingspan. Head, torso, biceps, or forearm – I can decide what part to divide. This technique is applicable to non-living things as well."

Nanami's cursed energy rose even further as the second binding vow took effect. Even though Kakashi had already known parts of Nanami's technique, Nanami had still explained enough for the binding vow to qualify.

"I typically make a habit of separating my work from my pleasure," Nanami said. "But just this once, I'll make an exception. This won't be like the last time."

And he exploded into movement.

Satoru munched on his cake as he observed the fight. From Ijichi's report, he knew that Kakashi had defeated all the jujutsu sorcerers with close-quarters combat alone, leading him to believe that the newly-born curse hadn't discovered its cursed technique yet. However, the report had been rather sparse on the details of the fights themselves – and Satoru was starting to see why.

After all, if the other sorcerers had also lost to Kakashi as badly as Nanami was currently losing to him, Satoru wouldn't blame them for being so tight-lipped about it.

It wasn't that Nanami was weak. Even among first grade sorcerers, Nanami easily stood at the top. He had a keen mind, possessed an incredibly solid understanding of cursed energy, and his cursed technique allowed him to pierce through even the hardiest defense. Satoru knew for a fact that Nanami's presence was synonymous with safety and reassurance for the lower-ranked sorcerers. He was the sort of sorcerer who, whenever he showed up on a scene, everyone would immediately know that things were going to be okay.

As opposed to whenever Satoru showed up on a scene, in which everyone too would immediately know that things were going to be okay, but they would also immediately know that the post-mission incident report was going to be a hell of a pain to write afterward, and that not everyone would leave the mission with their dignity and/or sanity intact.

Which, come to think of it, was probably what Nanami was currently experiencing at the moment.

In fairness, it wasn't even Satoru's fault this time. Kakashi was just too skilled. He effortlessly flowed around Nanami's attacks, avoiding every strike and blow with ease. In just ten seconds, Satoru had seen enough to know that if Kakashi had wanted to, he could've taken down Nanami without breaking a sweat. The only reason why Nanami was still in the ring was because, well... Kakashi didn't seem to be in any hurry to finish the fight.

Instead, he was lecturing Nanami.

"Information is beyond invaluable in a battle, as you should very much know," Kakashi chided. "You shouldn't carelessly reveal your technique's secrets like that. It's a mistake that even a rookie wouldn't make."

"It was for a binding vow," Nanami growled.

Kakashi tilted his head, conveniently avoiding a piercing strike. "Binding vow? Oh, was that why your cursed energy increased by such a large amount?"

Nanami didn't bother responding. Instead, he drew his fist back and drove it into the shelf, the shockwave spreading to instantly pulverize the entire structure. Wooden shards and books imbued with Nanami's cursed energy blasted forward Kakashi in a devastating wall of shrapnel, capable of punching through cursed energy reinforcement with ease.

Oddly, Kakashi hesitated here for a split second, his eyes flickering over to Satoru. Satoru narrowed his eyes when he realized that Kakashi's eyes were still grey. Where were the kaleidoscopic eyes from before? Was it a special technique, not a superficial trait like he'd initially thought?

Gods, Satoru wanted to just tie Kakashi down and dissect him. So many mysteries for him to pick apart, so little time.

Then Kakashi vanished in a blur of speed right before the projectiles struck, reappearing a moment later crouched on top of another bookshelf.

"How peculiar," Kakashi mused. "It doesn't appear to be a psychological placebo, nor does it seem like you're consciously or subconsciously doing anything. All you did was tell me how your technique functioned and you automatically received a boost to your cursed energy." He rubbed his chin contemplatively. "How do binding vows even work? Is it a contract with a deity? The world? Your own innate soul?"

"Who knows?" Nanami said. "Does it matter?"

"True enough. If it works, it works, I guess. Still, I don't think it's worth the tradeoff. Information is worth far too much to just be given away like that, regardless of how much you gain in return. After all..." He stood up to his full height and dropped to the ground, landing without a sound. "Now that I know for certain what your technique is, you can't hope to win against me now. I suggest you give up."

"Absolutely not," Nanami said. "You may be right in that I cannot defeat you. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to give up."

Kakashi tilted his head. "You're going to continue to fight even though you know you can't win? Is this about the money? Because if so, look, I only spent a couple thousand yen or so. You can't possibly be that underpaid, right?"

"It's not about the amount of money," Nanami said. He stepped forward. "It's about the principles I swore to uphold. It's about fighting for what's right." Satoru coughed. Nanami resolutely ignored him. "Besides, if I run away now, how am I supposed to face my juniors in the future?"

Kakashi smiled. "Is that so? I respect the sentiment, then. But..." His smile dropped. "If you're not going to give up, I'm afraid I'm going to have to get serious now."

Nanami tensed up at that, raising his sword – his eyes widened as Kakashi suddenly shot forward, accelerating so fast even Satoru was caught off guard. The curse crossed the distance in an instant. Nanami slashed out in reflex, only for his cleaver to cut through air as Kakashi shifted direction, moving so fast he was just a blur. Again and again he shifted direction, leaping off the ground, walls, ceiling, bookshelves, until he was like some omnidirectional bouncing bullet.

"Though I have to say, I am a little curious as to how this 'binding vow' works," Kakashi said, his voice echoing from all directions as he spoke. "It seems like quite a fascinating phenomenon. I think I'll give it a go."

Nanami's eyes flickered back and forth rapidly as he struggled to keep Kakashi within his field of vision. He was clearly failing. Kakashi's movements were like a hummingbird's wings: so fast it was barely perceptible to the naked eye. It didn't help that the curse's movements were somehow completely silent either; Satoru could see how the curse was using its cursed energy to dampen and absorb the sound of its movements in a frankly ridiculous display of control. The fact that Kakashi could reach this level of control without the Six Eyes... it was impressive, to say the least.

"My technique is one that rips apart both body and soul," Kakashi said, his voice turning cold and clinical. It appeared the curse had decided to stop playing around. "It entails a single piercing strike to a critical point on the target that will utterly shatter their body and spirit. It is by far my most secret and powerful technique."

Oh? Satoru leaned forward in anticipation, his Six Eyes greedily devouring the fight in front of him. This was going to be good.

"Even the gods and demons of old fear this attack. If there exists such a thing as an ultimate technique, then this is it. Prepare yourself."

In the blink of an eye, Kakashi materialized in a crouch behind Nanami, his hands held together such that his pointer and middle fingers were extended outward.

"One Thousand Years of Death!"

Nanami began turning around, but it was too late. All he could do was helplessly stare out of the corner of his eye at the scene in front of him, completely at Kakashi's mercy. Time seemed to stretch out to infinity as Kakashi thrust forth his fingers, right up into Nanami's –

Satoru's eyes widened.

No fucking way.

Space distorted and reality twisted. Satoru appeared next to them, grabbing Kakashi's wrists right before the curse made... contact.

The air stilled. Silence descended.

It took Nanami half a second to take in the curse's position, the trajectory of its would-be attack, and his own position, and another half a second to put it all together. Slowly, a mixture of confusion and perturbation filled Nanami's eyes.

"Kakashi, no," said Satoru.

"Aww, now you interfere?" Kakashi pouted – fucking pouted! "We were just getting to the good part."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Satoru demanded.

Kakashi blinked innocently. "Is something the matter?"

"Are you kidding? Yes! If you're going to be doing that to Nanami, you better warn me beforehand." Satoru stepped back, whipped out his phone, and began recording. He shot Kakashi a thumbs-up. "Alright, continue–"

"Gojo Satoru," Nanami said, turning to look at Satoru with wide, unblinking eyes. "I will administrate you."

Satoru didn't even know what Nanami meant by that, but something in the first-grade sorcerer's tone made him lower his phone.

Nanami then spun in place to face Kakashi. Kakashi met Nanami's accusing stare with a polite, civil expression.

"Did you just try to penetrate my rear aperture?" Nanami asked in a disturbed tone, as if even despite the visual evidence, he still couldn't comprehend the fate that had almost befallen him.

"Hey, it's a little more dignified than that," Kakashi said in mild objection. "It's a highly complex and revered technique, you know."

"Right. A highly complex and revered technique that's essentially an aggressive proctologic maneuver."

"That's not the way I'd personally put it–"

"Kakashi," Nanami said flatly. "You were going to shove your fingers up my ass."

"Yes I was."

"Go fuck yourself."

Satoru nearly lost it then and there, barely managing to stifle the giggles that threatened to bubble its way up his throat. "Alright, that's enough," he said, not fully able to keep the mirth out of his voice. "Nanami, you're back on the bench. It's time for the adults to start talking." He pretended not to hear Nanami muttering 'finally' as the first grade sorcerer stepped away from the two of them. "And as for you..."

He turned to Kakashi. "You seemed to have a lot of fun attacking jujutsu sorcerers with impunity this past month. Unfortunately for you, it ends now. What was it you said to Nanami earlier? Ah, yes. For your sake, I suggest you give up. I'd hate for us to come to blows."

Kakashi chuckled. "Oh please, there's no need to act coy. It's clear as day you want to fight me." He eye-smiled. "Don't worry, I'm not giving up either."

Satoru grinned. "I was hoping you'd say that."

Blue.

Negative space unfolded into being and latched onto Kakashi, a single line of impossibility connecting him to Satoru. Reality asserted an instant later, seeking to correct the spatial aberration. The line rippled before snapping inward, and Satoru hurtled through the air as an unseen force wrenched him toward Kakashi.

To any onlooker, he moved so fast it would've looked as though he'd teleported. It was a speed so fast it was nearly incomprehensible, defying both sense and the conventional laws of physics, made only possible with intricate space manipulation. With Blue, Satoru far surpassed Kakashi's speed from earlier.

And yet, Kakashi reacted anyhow.

The cursed spirit went from a relaxed posture to bending backward in an instant, Satoru's haymaker passing by harmlessly over him. Then, his body still parallel to the ground, Kakashi brought his hands together and blurred through dozens of hand seals.

Satoru looked down, Kakashi looked back up, and then the cursed spirit inhaled and breathed out a fireball point-blank into Satoru's face. Simultaneously, all the lightbulbs overhead flickered before a pillar of lightning shot through the entire ceiling altogether and slammed down onto Satoru, so blindingly bright it was like a second sun had awakened in the bookstore.

Lightning met fire in an angry crackle before an explosion blasted outward, sending dust and smoke everywhere. When it cleared, it revealed Satoru to be completely unharmed – and alone.

Satoru blinked. "Huh?"

A thunk sounded from the corner of the room, and Satoru looked over only to see that it was a metal knife that had sunk into the wall. In the split second he was distracted, the ground behind him swelled and Kakashi burst through. The sound of chirping birds filled the room, and Satoru whirled around to see Kakashi thrusting a ball of lightning toward him, its lethality evident from a single glance.

It stopped a millimeter in front of Satoru's face.

"Wow," Satoru said. "You're good."

"Thank you," Kakashi said amicably. He gave his hand an experimental twist, the lightning pulsating ferociously. It failed to pierce through. "Hmm. This is new." He looked at Satoru, his gaze landing on his Six Eyes. "A gravity technique?"

"Close, but not quite," Satoru said. "It's Infinity."

"Infinity?" Kakashi asked as he made a hand seal. His body flickered with errant sparks of electricity before lightning flared into existence, branching out into dozens of streaks that attacked Satoru from every direction. It died down after several seconds, once again revealing Satoru to be untouched.

"Yeah," Satoru said. "Achilles and the tortoise – though I suppose you probably don't know your literature very well, being a newborn curse and all." He paused as he remembered what Kakashi had been in the process of purchasing when he and Nanami had entered the bookstore. "Well. Classical literature, at least. But anyway, my technique is the convergence of an infinite series. I divide the space between us infinitely so that things that approach me will slow down and never reach me."

"Oh, so you're talking about the Nidaime Paradox," Kakashi said in understanding. "A kunai traveling through the air to strike a moving target must travel through incrementally smaller proportions of distance infinitely, so it theoretically should never reach its target."

"... I haven't heard it being expressed that way before, but yes, more or less," Satoru said. "No matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to overcome my Limitless."

"That's somewhat unfair, don't you think?"

Satoru chuckled. "Just wait till you see the advanced versions of my technique. In fact, here's one now." He pointed a finger gun at Kakashi. "Red."

Kakashi's eyes widened, his composure finally breaking for the first time in the fight, and Satoru was satisfied to see some genuine fear in the curse's eyes. A red orb formed at the tips of Satoru's fingers, compressed space swirling with reverse cursed energy. Kakashi leaped back, trying to gain some distance, but he was too slow.

The orb detonated.

Space expanded in space, and Kakashi was blasted backward by the staggering force. The cursed spirit crashed through several bookcases, splinters scattering in his wake, before a dirt wall rose from the ground and caught Kakashi, its softened exterior dampening the impact. Even so, though, deep fissures spread across the wall before it crumpled a moment later, and Kakashi continued to stumble back several steps.

"See what I mean?" Satoru smiled, leisurely strolling forward. "So, will you surrender now?"

"Okay."

"Then prepare to – " Satoru paused. "Wait. Okay?"

Kakashi raised his hands and eye-smiled. "Yup. You got me. I surrender."

"... Just like that?"

"Just like that."

No. There was no way their fight was going to end like this, right? It was too soon.

"You don't want to try breaking through my Limitless?" Satoru asked, trying not to sound too desperate. "You can still turn this fight around, you know. It's not over yet. You can beat me."

"Nah, you'd win," Kakashi said. "No point in continuing this fight when we both know how it'd end up."

"But... I... Alright. That's reasonable."

Well, okay, maybe Satoru was overreacting a little. In his defense, he had been looking forward to fighting Kakashi the entire past month. Sue him for getting excited. He should've expected this as the outcome, though. Even if Kakashi was strong, he was still nowhere near Satoru's level.

Nobody was.

This was fine, though. Even if the fight had been far too short for his liking, he still had the subsequent interrogation to look forward to.

"So. What next?" Kakashi asked.

Satoru shrugged. "Oh, the usual. I'm going to knock you out, take you to a secure room, and make you tell me everything I want. After that, I'll decide your fate."

"Maa, sounds like a blast."

Satoru smiled. "You don't know the half of it. I have a lot of questions for you, my dear Kakashi, and you're going to answer each and every single one of them."

He stepped forward, cursed energy gathering at his fingertips. He reached up and was about to tap Kakashi's forehead when the cursed spirit spoke up.

"Oh, one more thing."

"Mmm?" Satoru stopped. "What is it?"

"I changed my mind," Kakashi said. "I want to add a condition for the terms of my surrender."

"I don't think you're in a position to be making any demands. But hey, I'm a generous man. What do you want?"

"The book."

It took Satoru a second to understand what the curse meant. He laughed.

"Alright, it's a deal. I'll buy it for you."

A single tap to the forehead later and the cursed spirit collapsed, unconscious.

[-∞,∞]

The curse woke without any fanfare. It didn't stir or give any indication that it was waking; one moment it was slumbering, the next moment it was opening its eyes.

The first thing it saw was Gojo Satoru's grinning face.

"Morning!" Satoru smiled, raising a hand in greeting. "Have a nice nap?"

Kakashi blinked, his eyes flickering around as he took in his surroundings. His limbs were bound tightly behind the wooden chair he was sitting on. Thousands of paper tags covered the walls and hung from the ceiling, and kumiko lamps lay haphazardly on the ground, emitting a dim, subdued yellow glow that failed to fully drive away the shadows in the room. The room was entirely sealed, and there wasn't a door or exit anywhere to be seen.

Satoru was sitting across from him, straddling a chair in reverse and holding a box of strawberry-flavored pocky. As Kakashi watched, Satoru took out a stick and bit into it, breaking off a piece with a satisfying crunch. Their eyes met, and Satoru sent him a bold grin which Kakashi returned with a look that seemed almost bored.

"So," Satoru said, when it became apparent the curse wasn't going to say anything. "Twenty-nine total attacks, huh? You sure were busy in the past month."

"I make it a habit to be productive with my time."

"I'll bet. Why did you attack them?"

Kakashi shrugged. "To be fair, the first couple of times, they were the ones who attacked me first. Completely unprovoked, too."

"Oh? For some reason, I find that hard to believe."

"Hey, it's true. I was only defending myself."

"Right. And what about all the other times?"

Kakashi smiled. "Well, you know what they say about the best defense."

"Heh," Satoru grinned. "And I suppose robbing them after you beat them up was just rubbing salt into the wound?"

"That, and I needed the money. I didn't have the necessary papers to get employed." Kakashi sighed. "A pity, too. I would've rather enjoyed being a middle school teacher. I thought about forging some papers, but I decided against it."

Satoru snorted. "Good thing you did. Anyone who lets you have access to children would have failed society in general."

"Now that's hurtful... I'll have you know that, once upon a time, I was actually given three students to teach." A genuine smile spread across Kakashi's face at the memory. "Now those were the good old days."

Satoru blinked. "You had students?"

"Yup!" Kakashi grinned. "Three of the cutest little twelve-year-olds you have ever seen."

"Twelve-year-olds?" Satoru was slightly taken aback. "Not even curses, but literal kids? That's surprising."

"Why? What's the issue?"

"Setting aside the fact that you're a cursed spirit for a moment... You quite literally have a technique that involves shoving your fingers up someone's rear end. That's not exactly a redeeming quality for a teacher."

"Have a technique?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Satoru, I used that technique on one of them."

A stunned silence filled the room for a moment.

"No," Satoru breathed. "You didn't."

Kakashi leaned forward, his face utterly serious. "Twice."

"Holy shit," Satoru said, sounding impressed. "Not even I've done something that horrific before. Can I get that down in writing, by any chance?"

"What for?"

Satoru grinned. "So the next time my own students complain about how much I suck as a teacher, I'll have incontrovertible proof that it can, in fact, be a whole hell of a lot worse."

Kakashi chuckled. "They'll learn to appreciate you someday."

"After all the things I've done for them, they better. Want some pocky?"

Kakashi looked bemused by the abrupt transition but shook his head. "I don't like sweets."

Satoru froze, in the middle of taking a bite. "You... don't?" he asked blankly, as if he couldn't comprehend the idea. "What, do you prefer the taste of human flesh instead?"

"Maa, it's a little bit too stringy for my tastes. Fish is far tastier."

Satoru snorted. "What are you supposed to be, a cat?"

"Hey. If anything, I'm a dog." Kakashi's lips curved into a small, peculiar smile. "Or a hound, if you want to be more specific." Satoru could practically hear the subtext laden in those words, though he wasn't able to understand any of it.

"I'll have to keep that in mind then," Satoru said. "Your eating preferences aside, though..." His Six Eyes bored into him. "You've gotten me very curious about you, Kakashi. From your unique cursed energy to your cursed technique – how did you use both lightning and fire earlier? – to your intangibility to your kaleidoscopic eyes..." He smiled in barely constrained excitement. "Oh, I don't even know where to start. Brace yourself, because I'm about to pick your secrets apart one by one."

"Ah," Kakashi said. "This is awkward. I think there's been a misunderstanding. You seem to be under the impression that you're actually going to be able to make me talk."

"You don't think I can?"

"Maa, I know you can't."

Satoru's smile grew wider. "You seem awfully confident in yourself. Perhaps if I explained the situation you're in, you'd find yourself being more agreeable." He gestured around them. "We're currently deep within the crypts of Jujutsu High. The room we're in is a secure sealing chamber that's been around for several centuries. Even I would find it rather difficult to escape from here if I didn't have the key."

There were only two rooms like this in the world, the other being in the Kyoto headquarters, and both were constructed by Master Tengen sometime back in the Muromachi Period. The thousands of paper sealing talismans littered around the room radiated power; despite their unassuming appearance, Satoru could see how they imbued the boundaries of the chamber with an impenetrable layer of cursed energy.

"Of course, you might think you'd be able to escape with your intangibility trick, or some other nifty ability," Satoru continued. "You'd be wrong. With my Six Eyes, I'll be able to detect the instant you start trying to use cursed energy and stop you. I'll pull you into my domain if necessary; even if you're immune to the effects of the Unlimited Void, you won't be able to escape the barrier itself. On top of that, your bindings have been enchanted so that they'd disrupt your control over cursed energy, slowing you down even further."

"Mmm. And I presume there's an army of jujutsu sorcerers, all itching for revenge, waiting outside in the unlikely event I do manage to escape?"

"No, nothing so extravagant. Just a jujutsu sorcerer, singular."

Kakashi blinked. "Only Nanami knows I'm here?"

"What, did you think I'd share you with anyone else? Only you, me, Nanami, and the manager who drove us know that you're in here. Also Tengen, probably, but that guy doesn't matter much."

The look on Ijichi's face when Satoru had called him over to load an unconscious curse into his car had been priceless. The subsequent drive back to Jujutsu High had been one of the most tense drives Satoru had ever been on. Ijichi had broken the speed limit twice in his haste, Nanami's eyes had never left Kakashi in the rearview mirror from where he was sitting in the shotgun seat, and Satoru had sat with Kakashi in the back, taking selfies to commemorate the successful capture. After they'd arrived, they had snuck Kakashi through the barrier and into the underground tombs where the sealing chamber was located, somehow managing to avoid discovery.

"But don't worry," Satoru said. "I'm not a cruel man. There's something in it for you if you work with me." He reached into his jacket and withdrew a book. The same book Kakashi had been in the middle of purchasing before they'd interrupted him. "If you tell me everything, I'll give you this for free! Isn't it amazing!"

"That is tempting," Kakashi admitted.

"And, before you ask, just know that I don't have anything to do for the next forty-eight hours. I cleared my schedule just for you, so we have all the time in the world to get very well-acquainted with each other."

"I see," Kakashi said. "You certainly covered your bases well."

"I did, didn't I?" Satoru sounded inordinately pleased with himself. He leaned in, vivid blue piercing into dull grey. "So you can act as nonchalant and fearless as you want, but the fact is, you surrendered to me for a reason. You're at my mercy, Kakashi. It's time to start cooperating. You say you're a dog? Very well, then." His eyes glinted. "Bark for me."

"Hmm. No, I don't think so."

Satoru sighed. "Let's not make this harder for the both of us. Just tell me what I want, and who knows? Maybe I'll even let you go afterward."

There was a long moment of silence.

"Whoever's in charge of Jujutsu High's defenses is a genius," Kakashi said suddenly. Satoru furrowed his brow at the random change in topic. "Infiltrating the exterior barrier was easy enough. All I had to do was follow some of the jujutsu sorcerers that I'd defeated. If I had to guess, it's probably a barrier that's meant more to conceal from non-sorcerers than to protect. But the barriers surrounding the inner underground sanctum?" He whistled. "It could take me years and I doubt I'd be able to find my way in. I don't know who designed it, but damn were they good."

"Kakashi..." Satoru felt a strange premonition wash over him. "What are you talking about?"

"I admit, you two surprised me when you tracked me down in that bookstore," Kakashi said, ignoring him. "It appears there are still some things I have to learn. Thankfully, I was able to turn it to my advantage. See, I'd been wondering how to bypass the barriers for quite some time now – and then suddenly, I didn't have to anymore."

Before Satoru could figure out what Kakashi meant, his phone rang. Kakashi nodded toward it. "I'd pick that up if I were you."

Maintaining eye contact with Kakashi, Satoru answered his phone. "Hello-?"

"Gojo! It's a disaster!" Ijichi's frantic voice exploded out at him through the tinny speaker. "Someone broke in!"

Satoru's gaze sharpened as he shot to his feet. "Where?"

"Everywhere! The warehouse! The vaults! The archives! All the critical areas within the inner sanctum! Is Kakashi still with you? Is this his doing? Or was it some other cursed spirit taking advantage while we were distracted?"

"... I'll get back to you on that," Satoru said before he hung up the phone, ignoring Ijichi's 'wait no!' He frowned down at Kakashi. "Alright. I'll bite. How?"

"How what?" Kakashi asked innocently.

"How did you do it? There's no way you could've escaped without me knowing. I was in here with you the entire time – " Satoru froze. "Oh."

Kakashi smiled. "You really shouldn't have left the room earlier to go get some pocky."

"You've got to be kidding me. You faked being unconscious?"

"Got it in one!"

"Huh. So you got captured intentionally so that I'd bring you into the heart of Jujutsu High. But... why? There's a hundred ways this could've gone wrong for you. Why risk it?"

"Information," Kakashi said simply. "When there's an entire organization devoted to hunting down alleged curses like me, gathering intelligence is the obvious move. Besides, I had a feeling my plan would work out." He eye-smiled. "So, you were right, Satoru. I did surrender for a reason."

Satoru laughed. "Heh. Not bad. But that doesn't matter, does it? Even if you somehow escaped the room earlier, you're still in here now." He snapped his fingers and a massive pressure exploded out from him, cursed energy filling the room and bearing down onto the curse. Satoru's smile disappeared from his face as his eyes hardened. "You won't escape from me again."

"Aww," Kakashi said, seeming completely unaffected by Satoru's aura. "It's cute that you think that. Anyhow, I think I've stalled long enough. It's time I take my leave." He paused. "Oh, and hold onto the book for me, will you? I'll be back for it."

And he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Satoru sat very still, his eyes going wide. A clone? He had been talking to a clone this entire time? A clone had fooled his Six Eyes?! That was impossible. The very thought was ludicrous. And yet, at the same time, it felt completely true to form for Kakashi.

After all... Satoru looked down at the now-empty box of pocky he was still holding. Getting captured on purpose for the sake of infiltrating a closely-guarded area while being actively watched over by the strongest sorcerer on the planet... It was less a plan and more an insanely risky gamble. For anyone else, Satoru would've thought it was a suicide move, but for Kakashi... Well, he managed to pull it off, didn't he? His sheer audacity had paid off.

Slowly, Satoru smiled.

"Well played, Kakashi," he said. "Well played."

He had underestimated the cursed spirit this time. He wouldn't make the same mistake again.