Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He did it again.

They had just recovered from the first planet-wide blackout that Zim caused, now they have to do it again?!

Miyuki was beyond annoyed. The experiment hasn’t even been going on long enough for her to formally meet Zim yet, and yet she’s already tempted to just put an end to it.

And from what Twig tells her, Zim is an absolute menace to everyone he meets. Twig tries to downplay it, but Miyuki's heard enough by now to know that Zim is constantly talking about how boring the simulation training is, how above it he is. They're not even supposed to be taking the helmets off! 

This time, Zim caused the blackout while trying to escape the simulation training room. All he had to do was wait a couple zorcs and he'd be let out. Zim's batch of smeets was almost done with simulation training anyway!

But because of his antics, the whole batch has to be let out of simulation training early. This time, they weren't able to back up the main essentials—like the smeets’ simulation training—so the Military smeets are being moved to Devastis early. A few days after Zim’s escape attempt, to be precise.

Miyuki was finally going to be able to meet Zim. She had arranged to accompany the Military trainees to their first day of training on Devastis. Despite the damage he’s constantly causing, Miyuki is excited to be able to see him for herself.

“The ship is supposed to be leaving soon, my Tallest. We should start heading towards it.” 

Twig would be accompanying her, of course. When wasn’t she?

“Yes, okay,” Miyuki replied, getting up from her seat.

She grumbled internally as she followed Twig down the corridors, her robes swishing softly. Zim was an anomaly—a wildcard in an Empire built on precision and control. The fact that he had already caused two blackouts in such a short span of time was... impressive, in a disastrous sort of way.

“I still don’t understand how he managed to escape the simulation training room," Miyuki muttered aloud, more to herself than to Twig.

Twig glanced back at her. “Zim finds... creative ways of getting into trouble,” she replied cautiously. “He’s, uh, very determined, my Tallest.”

Miyuki sighed again, louder this time. “Determined to wreak havoc, maybe.”

As they neared the ship that would be taking them and the rest of the Military trainees to Devastis, Miyuki grew worried. What if she couldn’t even recognize Zim and Twig had to try to point him out inconspicuously? What if he’s somehow even worse in person? 

And then a strange, almost laughable thought surfaced: What if he’s... short?

The thought struck unexpectedly, and she frowned, puzzled. Twig had never once mentioned Zim’s height, which she’d always imagined as being on the tall side. With Zim carrying her DNA, that seemed only natural, right? She pictured him towering over his peers, his physical presence matching his larger-than-life personality.

Taking a deep breath, Miyuki followed Twig into the ship. Her eyes immediately scanned the room, searching among the tallest trainees present. He’ll be tall, he’ll stand out, no problem.

Her gaze quickly landed on one particularly tall Irken with bright red eyes and matching red attire. He was talking to another trainee who looked nearly identical to him, save for the deep purple colour of his eyes and uniform.

This was Miyuki’s first guess at who Zim was. The tall red-eyed trainee also seemed to be the first to notice her presence. His mouth snapped shut mid-conversation, and he immediately straightened up, his antennae giving a quick, precise wiggle in respect as he snapped into a sharp salute. The purple-eyed trainee followed suit in an instant, his back going rigid as he mirrored both the salute and the respectful twitch of his antennae. Efficient. Well-trained.

One by one all the young Irkens quickly stood to position, all previous conversations ceasing once they noticed the new presence in the room

All except for one, anyway.

“—but I’m just glad we’re finally going to Devastis. Those simulations were BORING! I couldn’t stand another MINUTE of it! You’re so lucky that I— STOP YOUR INCESSANT POKING AT ONCE, SKOODGE! What could possibly be more important than anything I have to say?!”

Miyuki’s antennae twitched in irritation, her gaze snapping to the offender. A tiny Irken—barely chest-height compared to his peers—stood in the middle of the group, clearly oblivious to her presence. She hadn’t noticed him at first; he was half the size of the red and purple Irkens. But as he gesticulated with exaggerated impatience, some familiar quality about him struck her with a sinking feeling.

“Irken Military Trainee,” Miyuki’s voice was cold and commanding, “what is the meaning of this? Do you forget your place?”

“Eh?” The small trainee turned toward her, and for a moment, Miyuki was struck by how much smaller he was compared to the others. “Oh, my Tallest! Apologies! You enter rooms very quietly!”

Miyuki raised an eyebrow, her patience already wearing thin with this tiny trainee who clearly didn’t know his place. “I enter rooms quietly?” Her gaze swept over the rest of the trainees who were already saluting. “Then how is it that you are the only one who failed to notice me?”

The tiny Irken’s eyes darted around nervously. “ZIM NOTICED YOU! He just, ehh, didn’t think you wanted to be saluted! Yes, that’s right!”

Miyuki blinked, the realisation slowly sinking in. Her eyes widened slightly. Wait... “Zim?” she asked, trying to keep her voice neutral. She glanced at the taller trainees, internally begging that she had somehow misunderstood. “Who’s Zim?”

The small trainee puffed out his chest dramatically. “ZIM IS ME! I AM ZIM! IN ALL HIS ZIMNESS!” His voice echoed proudly through the room as if he had just delivered the most important revelation in Irken history.

Miyuki could cry.

She didn’t recognize him, he was worse in person, and he was short. All of Miyuki’s worries had come to fruition.

The entire flight to Devastis, Zim couldn’t sit still. He paced in circles, listing off every planet he would invade as Tallest (for the tenth time), then tried to get the others to chase him so he could sprint around the ship like a malfunctioning maintenance bot.

He was outrageously loud, opinionated, and utterly self-absorbed.

Confidence of this magnitude in an Irken that short? That was a problem.

Short Irkens weren’t supposed to be proud. They weren’t supposed to challenge authority, act as equals, or—Irk forbid—see themselves as superior to those taller than them. Taller Irkens had carefully cultivated a society where Tallest ruled without contest, where height dictated worth, and where no one dared question their place in the hierarchy. Miyuki agreed with that system—she had benefited from that system. The last thing she wanted was for an entire generation of smeets to believe that height didn’t matter, that they could just will themselves into power with enough bluster and bravado.

And Zim? Zim didn’t just ignore his shortness, he outright defied it. No hesitation, no shame. He didn’t just want to be Tallest. He believed he would be. Worse, he acted as though it was inevitable! It was unnatural. It was unsettling. And if this trait was the result of her DNA, if this level of delusion and ambition was something she had inadvertently created—

Miyuki exhaled slowly, rubbing at her temples as the ship rumbled beneath her.

By the time that they reached Devastis and were about to begin their first round of training, Miyuki had hoped—prayed, even—that he’d burn out. Surely, someone with that much energy would need to crash eventually. But no. He was just as energetic here as he was on the ship. Maybe even more.

The military training grounds of Devastis were as imposing as ever. Vast, barren, and harsh. The perfect setting for moulding the next generation of Irken soldiers. Miyuki glanced over at the other trainees—they were a little jittery, sure, but they at least had the sense to look focused. Zim, on the other hand, was...

“All right, MAGGOTS!” The drill instructor’s voice boomed across the field, cutting through Miyuki’s thoughts. The young soldiers-to-be straightened up immediately. Even Zim froze in place for half a second before resuming his bouncing.

“I’m Instructor Bip, and since it’s your first day, we’re gon’ start with somethin’ EASY that your PEA-SIZED BRAINS can COMPREHEND!” she yelled. “Just some teamwork exercises so BASIC, even a newly formed SMEET could do them!”

Miyuki was… worried, to say the least. Watching Zim in action from her place on the sidelines, all his erratic and unrestrained energy on display, she found herself feeling a creeping doubt that was hard to ignore. If Zim failed, if his reckless tendencies overshadowed his potential, she thought uneasily, what did that say about her? Zim wasn’t just another Irken, he was, in some ways, a reflection of herself, a soldier carefully chosen, shaped with her own DNA. In her ambition, she’d hoped to foster a warrior that embodied her best qualities; her strategic prowess, her sense of authority, her skill. But was that truly what she’d created?

When she turned her attention back to the trainees, she noticed Instructor Bip was gesturing towards a giant empty patch of land covered with a metal foundation. The Instructor tapped a few commands on the interface projected above her arm for a moment, before the barren land was transformed into an elaborate training course.

“LISTEN UP!” Bip's voice cut sharply through the air. “I’m splitting you into two teams. Your task is to complete this course as FAST as IRKENLY possible. I’m timing you, and the clock stops only when EVERY member of your team has crossed the finish line. UNDERSTOOD?!”

Murmurs of agreement rippled through the ranks of nervous trainees.

“GOOD!” Bip extended her arm, dividing the trainees into two groups with a swift motion. “Team A,” she indicated to her left, “you're up first. MOVE IT!”

Team A shuffled into position, a mixture of anticipation and anxiety in their movements. Among them was Zim, alongside the tall trainees with red and purple eyes, the short, stocky trainee Zim had been conversing with on the ship, and about fifteen others Miyuki hadn’t noted before.

“You’ve got one minute to strategize,” Bip announced, tapping at the screen above her arm. “Countdown starts… NOW!”

At her command, four metal walls shot up from the ground, encasing the remaining trainees. Miyuki assumed this was to prevent them from watching and copying the first team’s approach.

Team A immediately erupted into frantic, overlapping chatter, each trainee trying to make themselves heard over the others.

But Miyuki barely registered the commotion—her attention was locked on Zim, who had just kicked the legs out from under the trainee beside him.

The other Irken yelped as he hit the ground, but before he could react, Zim had already stepped onto his back, using him as a makeshift step. With a grunt, Zim pushed himself slightly higher—barely even bothering to avoid the downed Irken’s PAK—and, with perfect obliviousness, stood atop his fallen teammate like he was nothing more than a glorified footstool.

Miyuki leaned closer, zeroing in on the short trainee. Maybe this could be Zim’s moment to shine? Would he command his teammates through the course in record time, gaining the ultimate respect of his peers, just as Miyuki once had?

She watched as Zim turned to address the group, his voice booming across the field. "FELLOW TEAMMATES!—" He suddenly stopped, lowered his voice as if reconsidering his words, and then corrected himself with a louder, more disdainful tone, "LESSER TEAMMATES!"

Zim’s proclamation obviously irritated the trainees, as evident from their scowls and crossed arms. "Today you have the unique privilege of being commanded by the SINGLE BEST IRKEN AND SOON-TO-BE RULER OF THE KNOWN UNIVERSE!"

Miyuki honestly didn’t know how to feel about Zim already vying for her job.

“Observe and emulate me, if you can muster a FRACTION of my—"

"TIME’S UP! GO, GO, GO!"

Bip cut Zim off mid-motivational speech, sending the trainees scattering towards their first obstacle, a giant rectangular abyss. The only way across appeared to be a series of high-tech see-saws, precariously balanced on narrow columns.

One brave trainee took the initiative, leaping onto the first platform. It wobbled violently as she landed, the trainee flailing her arms in a desperate attempt to stay upright. With a shriek, she toppled sideways into the abyss—only to be caught by an invisible net that flared red as she hit it.

Seeing this, the other trainees looked around nervously, none wanting to be the next one to jump forward and lose their balance just as the previous trainee had.

“Okay, so this is a balance challenge,” the tall red trainee said, stepping forward and scanning the obstacle. “We could try going one at a time, sticking to the middle to keep the weight centred on the column—”

“FOOLISHNESS!” Zim’s shrill voice interrupted. He jabbed a finger in Red’s direction. “As if you have the AGILITY to cross such a delicate structure, Red! I’ve seen you trip over NOTHING—air, Red! NOTHING BUT AIR!”

Red turned to face Zim, his expression flat with disbelief. “Wh—yeah, because I keep growing taller, which throws off my balance occasionally!” he shot back, his antennae twitching in irritation. “Not all of us have the luxury of staying the same height forever, Zim.”

“LIES!” Zim screeched. “If you’re so graceful and agile, then why don’t YOU go first?!”

“MAYBE I WILL!” Red shot back, his antennae pinned back in annoyance.

What exactly was Zim’s plan here? This Red was his teammate, why on Irk was he riling him up? That makes him more likely to make a mistake, which could jeopardise their team’s final time tremendously. Miyuki held out hope that maybe Zim had a plan. Maybe he just wanted this Red guy out of the picture, because he knew the taller trainee would be a liability? Whatever the case. Miyuki watched on.

Red huffed as he walked toward the platforms. His face was hard to read, but a nervous twitch of his antennae gave him away. 

Red jumped and landed in the middle of the platform. It swayed a bit while Red desperately tried to balance it out, and after a moment, the swaying near stopped. The trainee smirked and looked back towards his teammates.

“See? I told you I could—”

“HOLY HEFDAL! A GIANT SNARLAG!” Zim screeched, pointing towards Red.

Red yelped and jerked his head around, completely losing focus. The platform wobbled violently under him as his balance went haywire. His arms flailed, and with a desperate grunt, he lunged forward, grabbing the second platform with both hands. His legs remained planted on the first, his body now stretched awkwardly between the two.

“WHAT?! WHERE?!” Red shouted, antennae quivering as he madly tried to scan the area.

While everyone was frantically looking around for the elusive snarlag, Zim jumped onto the first platform gracefully, then walked across Red’s back to get to the second one.

“ZIM!? IS THAT YOU?! What the– OW! GET OFF MY PAK!” Red yelled, holding onto the platforms for dear life.

With apparent ease, Zim crouched down on the second platform’s column, looking down at Red’s desperate form.

“Yes! Very agile, indeed!” Zim smirked.

From the group of Zim’s remaining teammates, a cackle burst through the tension. Miyuki turned to see the purple trainee doubled over, clutching his sides as his laughter echoed across the course. “HA! Oh, Irk, Red. You should’ve seen your FACE!”

“PURPLE!” Red roared. “STOP YOUR STUPID LAUGHING AND HELP ME UP, SO I CAN KILL THIS IDIOT!”

Eventually—with very little help from Purple—Red managed to climb his way back up to the middle of the first platform, then jumped back onto solid ground.

“OKAY! Since jumping through the middle is too unstable, here’s what we’re going to do!” Red said, shaking out his hands and glaring at the others. “Listen up, because I’m only saying this once. We split into four groups—make sure they’re evenly balanced weight-wise. Once we’ve got the groups sorted, two of them will jump onto either side of the first platform at the same time,” Red continued, gesturing toward the precarious see-saws. “That’ll keep the platform from tipping over completely. Then they’ll jump onto the second platform, and the second group will follow after them and jump onto the first platform. We just keep moving forward like that, taking turns, keeping the weight even, until we’re all across.”

The trainees exchanged uncertain glances, a few of them already muttering about how “complicated” it sounded.

Miyuki looked over at where Zim was still perched between the second platforms. He sat on the central column, swinging his legs idly as though he wasn’t in the middle of a high-stakes training exercise. His expression was a mix of annoyance and impatience.

“HURRY UP, RED!” Zim shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Zim grows BORED! I need more bodies to use as bridges!”

Miyuki blinked, unsure if she’d heard him correctly. She glanced at the rest of the trainees, who were too busy dividing themselves into groups to react to Zim’s bizarre proclamation.

Eventually, the groups were sorted with about four trainees per group. Group One and Group Two took their positions on either side of the first platform. With some hesitant glances at each other, they all leapt forward simultaneously. The platform tilted precariously but held steady.

“See?” Red called from the starting line. “It works! Just keep moving forward!”

Groups One and Two carefully moved to the second platform while Groups Three and Four leapt onto the first, repeating the process with shaky but manageable coordination.

Miyuki’s attention drifted back to Zim. He’d now made his way over to one side of the second platform—his added weight not seeming to tilt the balance at all—inspecting the slightly taller, stockier trainee with a glint in his eye. “Skoodge!” Zim barked, pointing at the trainee. “Move to the centre column and let Zim use you as a bridge so I may cross to the third platform!”

The trainee hesitated, glancing nervously at Zim, then back towards Red, whose voice boomed from the starting line. “NO! DON’T MOVE! YOU’LL THROW OFF THE BALANCE!”

The trainee—Skoodge—looked back at Zim again. Zim gave him an ominous stare, narrowing his eyes in a way that said, You really want to defy me?

Skoodge gulped and started to move toward the middle column.

“STOP! I SAID STOP!” Red was screaming now, his voice hoarse with frustration.

As the bigger trainee shifted his weight, the platform began to sway violently. The trainees on both sides cried out, scrambling to steady themselves, but it was too late. The platform tipped sharply to one side, sending half the team tumbling into the glowing red net below. In the chaos, the trainees on the first platform desperately tried to jump back onto the solid ground of the starting line, some falling, but most managing to make it back.

Zim, however, leapt forward just as the platform pitched the opposite way. For a moment, it seemed like he wouldn’t make it. Then, without warning, four metallic limbs shot out of his PAK, extending to grab hold of the edge of the third platform. The sudden movement left the remaining trainees—and Miyuki—staring in stunned silence.

PAK legs? Already? Miyuki’s mind raced. Most trainees didn’t gain usage of their PAK legs until a while into their training. This was remarkable. But why? She leaned forward, watching him intently. Could it be because of his size? Is his PAK compensating for his stature, giving him an edge in agility to keep up? 

From the moment Miyuki first laid eyes on Zim, her hopes for their first test subject had plummeted. He was short—concerning, but not an immediate disqualifier. He still had time to grow, after all. What truly worried her was his absolute audacity . Despite his ridiculously small stature, he carried himself as if he were the most important being in the universe. Confidence was one thing, but this? This was something else entirely.

Her initial hypothesis had been simple: by using a high percentage of her own DNA, she would create the ideal Irken soldier. Of course, genetics is a complicated science. No matter how much superior Almighty Tallest DNA a smeet had, there was no guarantee they’d turn out as expected. But that was the entire point of this test trial—to prove that her approach at least worked. Once she had the results to back it up, the Control Brains would have no choice but to acknowledge the potential of her project. Then she could consult as many genetic scientists as she wanted and refine the process even further!

All this to say that Miyuki’s initial impression of Zim did not fit into the outline of her ideal Irken soldier.

But as she watched Zim’s PAK legs pull him safely onto the platform, Miyuki couldn’t help but think that maybe she had written him off too soon. Maybe there was still time yet for Zim to prove his worth. And most importantly, maybe her experiment did have some merit.

Her musings were suddenly interrupted by Zim springing to his feet.

“HAHAHA! SEE? ZIM IS CLEARLY BETTER THAN YOU PATHETIC INFERIORS!” He pointed dramatically at Red and Purple, who were still at the starting line, gaping at the chaos that had just unfolded. “BEHOLD MY GREATNESS! YOU COULD ONLY DREAM OF SUCH SKILL!”

But then again… maybe not.