Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Arceus only knew how long they were asleep for. Definitely longer than ‘a little while.’ She most assuredly would have continued on sleeping, if not for her Eevee taking the initiative to ram itself directly into her back. 

They startled awake with an alarmed squeak, jolting upright far too fast. Their head screamed in protest and the world swam around them as they fought dizziness. They whined a quiet, “Ow…” If her Eevee noticed their struggling, it didn’t care. As soon as Airi could hear over their blood rushing, all they could hear was the panicked yapping of the normal-type. “Wha —..?” Confused, Airi squinted up at the sky. 

The sun hung proud directly overhead. Midday. Why was that important again..? They were comfy… Another yip from Eevee as it headbutted Airi’s legs. Why was Eevee so panicked..? Was something —? 

… Mai! Shoot! They’d overslept, they were going to be late and keep everyone waiting and do bad on her request and —! They scrambled to her feet, stumbling from lingering drowsiness. At her side, Star and Leaf were peacefully dozing — only Eevee seemed to realise what was going on. “Thanks, Eevee! I’ll let you all back out later,” they hastily explained. They returned her pokémon to their balls as fast as possible and tied them back onto their waist. Packing up her satchel with just as much haste — Airi could only hope her hair wasn’t a mess, they thought, straightening out their uniform. They didn’t have time to loiter on it. Go go go! 

She sprinted back to the base of Aspiration Hill. Heat built up in their throat and eyes, overwhelmed with guilt for being late. They spotted Rei and Mai across the bridge at the base of the hill — please don’t be mad please don’t be mad please don’t be mad —

By the time they reached the two, Airi could hardly breathe. The anxious tightening of their chest combining with their poor physique made them pant for air as she crossed the bridge. “I — I’m so sorry,” they gasped when they reached the group. Doubling over with their hands on her knees, she continued between pants, “Didn’t mean to be late, sorry, I —”

“Woah, you’re fine,” Rei quickly assured. “You alright?”

“Ran straight here,” they explained. They sucked in a deep breath before standing straight. Meeting Mai’s eyes, she felt again like they were going to cry, an awful lump in their throat. They fought through it to apologize, “S — sorry, hope — hope you weren’t waiting long —”

“It’s quite alright. We haven’t waited long.” The woman smiled at them, soothing their guilt. “Hello again, Airi. Have you been faring well in Jubilife?”

“Y — yeah! I like it there, I, um… I just hope people start to like me more.” Airi picked at their fingernails and cautiously asked, “You, um — you have a request, right? I don’t actually know what it is.” 

“Indeed. Rei and Adaman informed me of your battling abilities. Quite gifted, aren’t you? I was originally intending on battling you myself, but Adaman told me of your battle with Rei this morning. Besides, you already have an alpha pokémon to your name.” She crossed her arms over her chest and explained, “You see, I need someone to deal with an alpha pokémon causing trouble upon Deertrack Heights. Alphas are particularly fearsome foes. No one has been able to best it, and many have been injured trying. We have enough difficulties on our hands as it is.” 

“What kind of pokémon is it?”

“A Kricketune.”

“Kricketune, huh…” An evolved pokémon… Kricketot evolved at a low level, but Airi had no way of counting on an upper bound of strength for this opponent. With her Shinx, she knew it was likely low level, since it hadn’t evolved. That didn’t apply here. For all they knew, the alpha Kricketune was an absurdly high level. Hm… 

Mai pulled Airi out of her thoughts by asking, “Are you willing to challenge it? No one else in that Security Corps of yours was up to the task.”

“… I can check it out, but I might need to train up a little bit if it’s super strong,” Airi answered. “Does this need to be done today?”

“No, but I would like it dealt with as soon as possible. The area this alpha is loitering in is one of deep importance to me and my clan. Would you like me to take you there so you know the area, perhaps to scout out your foe?” 

Guess it can’t hurt to check out the area. Maybe the Kricketune was weaker than they were imagining, and she could take it on with relative ease. “Sure!” 

“Thank you.” Mai turned to Rei with a quizzical expression and asked, “Will you be joining us?”

“I’ll catch up,” he answered. “I’m gonna check in with the professor and let him know Airi is taking over for me. I don’t think Airi’ll have any trouble with an alpha.” 

“Alright. In that case, Airi, come with me.” Abiding, Airi stepped to Mai’s side and joined the woman in walking up to Deertrack Heights. A curious glance at her Arc Phone showed Airi a new marker on her map — showing the device to Mai confirmed that it marked their destination. Interesting. The path Mai led her up was well-worn and flanked with torches — similar, somewhat, to the path up to the Diamond Settlement. Makes sense, considering Mai had mentioned their destination being important to her clan . Airi had to resist the urge to catch every pokémon they walked past. Even the Kricketot, a new encounter to Airi. Later. 

“… I must ask,” Mai began, breaking the silence between them. “Do you already know about Almighty Sinnoh? I’m uncertain how much you gathered in your time in our settlement.” 

“Uh… I know a little, but not much. Miss Arezu told me a ‘lil. Sinnoh is the guardian of… time, right?” They hesitated before saying time because some part of Airi disagreed. Some unsettling sense that this wasn’t true. She knew it was the answer Mai was looking for, but… 

“Indeed, Almighty Sinnoh steers all time. It’s said to have created the very universe using its power over time’s flow, and Hisui was born in the process. It is by the grace of Almighty Sinnoh that pokémon can live and thrive here.” Mai sighed to herself. With a sideways glance at Airi, she said, “Adaman seems to believe you have been blessed by the Almighty. However, the Almighty stole away from the world long ago. It is rarely seen by humans, if the old tales are to be trusted.” 

“… Oh.”

“… I suppose that is beyond your memory or comprehension,” Mai remarked, a stab at Airi’s gut. “It doesn’t matter. There exist pokémon in Hisui with connection to the Almighty — it is the duty of Wardens like myself to attend to their needs. The pokémon that graces Deertrack Heights is one of those honored few. It is directly descended from a Pokémon that was blessed with Almighty Sinnoh's protection.”

“That’s why you want to deal with the alpha?” Airi asked. “To help the pokémon you look after?”

“Indeed. I am a rather capable battler myself, but even I didn’t stand a chance against that Kricketune.” A frustrated sigh to herself as the woman led Airi up a makeship set of stairs. Ending in what seemed to be ruins, Mai announced, “Welcome to Deertrack Heights.” She leaned to the side, looking behind Airi. “… It seems your professor decided to join us.” 

Airi turned her head — sure enough, Laventon and Rei were both sprinting up the path, the former visibly lagging behind. By the time the two caught up, Laventon was panting. “Whew… Thank goodness,” he managed in between breaths, “I got here in time…” A heavy deep breath before he straightened, smiling at Airi. “I missed your last encounter with an alpha! It’d be woe of me to miss an opportunity to research one up close.” 

Rei nodded along with the professor. “Yeah, I’m curious how you do against a full-strength alpha, too. Plus… Well, if you need backup, I’ll be here.” 

“… I suppose that is your business… Fine — as long as you both stay out of the way,” Mai said. Another short sigh from the Warden as she turned to look over the clearing ahead. “This is Deertrack Heights. I’ve long come here to pay tribute to a blessed pokémon, one most important to my clan. And that —” she pointed out a massive Kricketune running around the rocky terrain, “is not it. That is only a troublemaker, here to disturb the peace with its racket.” 

Perhaps the Kricketune took notice of the group near the stairs, or perhaps it just knew subconsciously it was being insulted. Regardless, it let out a deafening cry — despite the musical nature of Kricketune’s sounds, the sound was utterly grating, making Airi cringe and cover their ears. Far too loud. There was an odd… distortion, to the sound. A low grit on what would normally be a beautiful musical cry. The cricket pokémon turned towards them, revealing its glowing red, piercing glare. 

“Do not be intimidated. It will not strike unless you get near,” Mai said — Airi could only partially hear her through their hands. “That is what you are here for, Airi: to drive that interloper from this place. Do you feel ready for the battle, or would you like more time to prepare yourself?” 

“Let — let me think,” Airi stammered. They pulled their hands off of their ears and fixed their gaze on their opponent. It’s huge. An absolutely massive pokémon, the Kricketune stood at easily double the height of a non-alpha counterpart. Maybe eight feet tall? Even at a distance, Airi could tell it dwarfed them. Don’t be intimidated. How strong was it? Size was not demonstrative of power — if Airi could figure out around what level it was, she would know if they were ready. 

“My word, what a massive specimen! Little wonder alpha pokémon are feared across the land if they’re all as oversized as this one,” Laventon remarked. His voice laced with awe and fear in equal measure — Airi caught sight of a slight tremble in his hands. “Airi, I know you’ve faced an alpha before, but do be careful. If you must face it, please make sure you are well equipped. Better to be over-prepared than under.”

“… Right.” She studied its movements, brow furrowed in concentration. She was locked into a staring contest with the massive bug-type. Every time it stepped to the side, Airi mirrored the action in a more subtle manner. It didn’t edge any closer. It’s intimidated by me. A truly powerful pokémon wouldn’t see Airi as a threat — the fact that the alpha held any wariness towards Airi meant it didn’t know if it was strong enough to fight her. Lower level, then? It was evolved, but maybe freshly so. Its steps seemed uncertain — it wobbled on every step to the side, like it was unused to its size. Hm… Airi’s pokémon were still on the low-end of levels, and none had evolved. Despite that… 

“… I can win. It’s not that high of a level,” Airi murmured. “It doesn’t know how to use its body at this size. I bet it only just evolved from a Kricketot — I can’t imagine it was that tall before it evolved.” 

“… You are quite perceptive, aren’t you?” Mai replied. “That may be true, but stay cautious. Alphas are granted with strength beyond their level and powerful moves that others in their species may not have access to. They’re naught to be trifled with. Nevertheless… If you are confident, then I will not stop you. Will you battle it now?” 

“… Yeah. I’ve got three strong pokémon and a lot more confidence than that thing’s got.” They didn’t tear their eyes away from the alpha. The Kricketune raised its arms in an attempt to make itself look larger, more threatening. Airi didn’t back down. Responded with her own show of strength — grabbing a pokéball off their belt. “Rei, if I scream, can I count on you to back me up?” Finally they risked glancing at Rei, stood behind her left side. “Or are you still too scared to —” 

“I’ll back you up,” he promised. “Teams are about trust, right? You can trust me.”

Airi couldn’t help their grin at that. He’s already so much more confident. “Alright, I’m holding you to that. Hopefully we won’t need it.” Deep breath… Readying their pokéball, Airi darted ahead onto the rocky clearing of Deertrack Heights. Behind her, she heard Laventon call for them to be careful, and Rei wishing her good luck, but their voices were quiet behind Airi’s pounding heart. We’ve done this before, she reminded themself. We’ve already won against an alpha before. We can do this. The Kricketune roared as Airi drew near. It reared back, wings buzzing with a horrible whirring sound that made their skin crawl — ignore it. Before Kricketune could lunge, Airi tossed her pokéball onto the field.

The moment her Rowlet burst out from its capsule, it soared high into the air. Another deafening cry from Kricketune showed its frustration — Airi cringed at the noise, balling her hands into such tight fists her nails dug into their palms. “Gust, strong as you’ve got!” they ordered. Super effective attacks are huge here. Stack up as much damage as possible.

Leaf dove closer to the Kricketune as it pounded its wings to generate a powerful Gust attack — it hit head-on, Airi could see the Kricketune stumble backwards from the sheer force of the attack. “Great!” Airi cheered, “Fall back —!” 

Too little too late. Kricketune recovered faster than Airi could have predicted, lunging towards Rowlet. Its blade-like forearms glowed with a threatening brightness. It slashed at Leaf faster than Airi could even blink, sending the grass-type flying towards the other end of the clearing. “Leaf!” Airi cried out. Not giving it a moment of reprieve, the Kricketune darted towards Leaf with its arms reared to strike again. “Get up! High as you can —!” 

In the mere milliseconds before the Kricketune’s attack collided with Leaf’s tiny body, it flapped its wings and sent itself upwards. Kricketune’s attack still grazed the Rowlet’s lower body and legs, making it cry out in pain — its flight was weakened, Airi could tell. It was hurt. So early on in the battle, and Leaf was already nearly spent. What attack is that?! Something fast, something super-effective to Leaf, something dangerous. With a dawning sense of horror, Airi connected the dots: Aerial Ace. Shoot. Shoot, shoot shoot shoot. Not good. Not good not good not — “Gust again and come back to me!” she commanded, darting across the battlefield to get behind Kricketune and retrieve Leaf’s pokéball. 

Scooping the pokéball into her hand, Airi turned her head back to the battle just in time to see Rowlet’s attack make contact. A swirling whirlwind of harsh air temporarily stunned Kricketune — the half-moment of stillness was enough time for Airi to return Rowlet into its pokéball. Whispering to the pokéball, “You did great, rest up, thank you,” as she hastily tucked it into her pocket. With no pokémon on field for Kricketune to target, it focused its eyes on Airi. They didn’t have the time for the thought of ‘that’s not good’ to fully form before the bug-type rocketed towards her, the blades of its forearms catching the light. 

She squeaked and jumped out of the way. They managed to roll back onto their feet and recover quickly, though they panted for breath, her lungs aching from fear and exertion. Ignoring it, she readied another pokéball. Logically, Star was the right choice here. It was strong — an alpha in its own right. But Airi’s hands ignored logic and ripped Eevee’s pokéball off her belt instead, tossing it ahead of her with the command of, “Keep your distance, use Swift!” 

They could hardly hear their own voice over her heartbeat. She hoped Eevee heard them. Watching the Eevee bound across the battlefield before lashing its tail and sending a barrage of star-shaped blades of light at Kricketune, Airi could barely breathe. Again she squeezed her hands shut, felt her nails digging into her palms. Piercing the skin. Hardly mattered, when their pokémon was in such a perilous situation — Kricketune blocked a majority of the Swift attack by crossing its arms in front of it. When it lunged towards Eevee, its blades were glowing an awful green color rather than its earlier off-blue. A different attack, but what —? Doesn’t matter, “Dodge!” 

Eevee leapt out of the way of the Kricketune’s offense. It bounded in a wide semi-circle around Deertrack Heights, forcing the alpha to pivot to keep its eyes locked onto it. But Eevee was too fast — she’s making it dizzy, Kricketune stumbled as it rotated in place. “Quick Attack, now!” 

Not wasting time, Eevee flung itself at its opponent. It barrelled into Kricketune’s side before the massive beast could recover its balance. It stumbled, collapsing onto its side — still not over, “Swift while it’s down!” Eevee hopped backwards to create distance between it and its foe, then lashed its tail and sent another starry barrage of light at its opponent. On the ground, Kricketune let out a low, howling wail. It took everything Airi had not to cover her ears — she gritted her teeth and stared at the beast, heart pounding, chest heaving. Is it going to get up..? Silence fell through the clearing. Nearly as haunting as Kricketune’s earlier cries, just as terrifying. She watched in horror as the alpha planted its arms at either side and pushed itself up — 

Only to collapse back onto the ground, utterly spent. Airi let out a shaky exhale and stepped closer to the Kricketune, Eevee bounding to her side. She heard footsteps come beside her — muffled behind her still-pounding heart and the ringing that lingered in her ears. In her periphery, she saw Mai join her in looking over the massive Kricketune. The beast started to stir, though it didn’t have the strength to battle — it scrambled enough to run away, leaving Deertrack Heights in a panic. It shouldn’t come back after a fight like that . 

At her side, Mai commented, “You really are impressive, aren’t you?” To Airi, her voice sounded underwater. Faded and distant. They had to focus all her energy into understanding the woman’s words, “You act as one with your pokémon. Rather like the legendary hero of old — from the stories we learn as children.” Brief pause — Airi felt the woman’s eyes on her. “How are you faring? You’re shaking.” 

Fine, Airi tried to say, but the only sound they made was a squeak. Deep breath. Come on. Slow, steady breath in, the air a solid mass in her aching lungs. Then, out. Again she tried to speak, and again they failed. Annoying. Come on. Another deep breath, one she nodded through — she didn’t want Mai to think they were ignoring her. She knelt down to pet Eevee, scanning the normal type for any injuries. Nothing to note — Eevee hadn’t gotten hit, miraculously. Unable to verbally praise the pokémon, she treated it to a flurry of pets before returning it to its pokéball.

“… Airi?” Rei’s voice this time. Still muffled. She turned her head to look up at him — he wore a little frown and a furrowed brow. “You alright?” They nodded. They cleared their throat in a desperate attempt to get some of her voice back, but… This isn’t going to work. She stood up and gestured at her mouth, then made an ‘x’ sign with their arms. They couldn’t speak. 

“Wait, you can’t talk? Did you get hit?!” Rei’s voice rose in its panic — Airi cringed at the volume. Desperately shook their head and pointed at their ears. His frown only deepened, “Can you hear us?” She nodded. That was the problem, she wanted to say — everything was too loud. Rei sighed, said, “Sorry, I don’t think I get it.” 

Another deafening cry interrupted the half-conversation between Rei and Airi. She squealed, desperately blocking their ears — vaguely they heard Laventon shout something, but they didn’t stand a chance at understanding him. She felt a tug on her sleeve from Rei. As soon as he had her attention, he pointed up to the cliff overlooking Deertrack Heights. 

Atop the cliff stood a pokémon that Airi had never seen before. A large, deer-like pokémon with glittering silver fur, longer around its head to form a mane. It boasted large, golden antlers in geometric shapes, adorned with black orbs in the center of each antler. It almost looked like a Stantler — at least, its antlers did. A delta, maybe? It was unfamiliar to Airi, the first pokémon they had encountered in Hisui that she didn’t recognize. The pokémon was as breathtaking as it was intimidating. She heard Mai call something and managed to focus just enough to hear one word of her sentence: “— Wyrdeer!”

Wyrdeer? That wasn’t a name Airi recognized. Was that the name of this pokémon? She stared at the cervine pokémon in awe as it bounded down the cliff. When it approached the group in Deertrack Heights, its eyes were fixed on Airi. She took an apprehensive step backwards when it edged closer to her. 

“Do not be wary,” Mai instructed, stepping to Airi’s side. Mercefully, they could hear enough to make out her speech, though it still sounded muddled. “He looks upon you with kindness, Airi… Perhaps he is grateful for your efforts here.” 

The pokémon held eye contact with Airi for a long moment before it turned and trotted away, leaving Airi shaking. She knew the pokémon wasn’t going to harm her, but… She was scared. Terrified, even. Her lack of recognition left them with a deep-seated dread — she didn’t like the unknown. Even the one word her brain provided in possible explanation, delta, it didn’t hold any meaning to her anymore. The context forgotten, leaving only a meaningless bit of vocabulary. Just another sign of what they had lost.

“I’d say the great Wyrdeer has taken a liking to you. That is fortunate,” Mai remarked — whether she was ignoring Airi’s fear or didn’t notice it, they didn’t know. “He is an esteemed pokémon to those of the Diamond Clan, capable of dashing across the vast expanses of Hisui, unbothered by a human rider. He is a blessing to us all.”

… A blessing, huh? Airi stared at the space where Wyrdeer had been. It felt like the pokémon had been judging her before — they wondered if Mai was right. If it liked Airi. Or if it just saw her as an outsider, like everyone else in Hisui did… 

“Now that the alpha is cleared out,” Rei began, “I heard we’re building another base camp out here.”

“Ah, yes, about that…” Laventon sighed, turning to address Mai directly, “I know this was a joint decision by Adaman and the commander, but still — is it truly fine for us to set up more base camps like this?”

“I trust Adaman’s jugement.” Mai’s eyes settled on Airi with a smile. “Hisui is a land created by the Almighty Sinnoh for the sake of its pokémon. As long as you seek to coexist and thrive together with the pokémon here, then I see no issue with you using this land. It seems the great Wyrdeer agrees, if his liking of Airi is any sign. Perhaps Adaman was right about you.” Airi didn’t answer. They couldn’t even return the woman’s smile — all she could do was nod along to show she was listening, show she could still hear. 

“In that case, we’ll set up a camp in the next few days. On behalf of the Galaxy Team, we thank you for your kindness!” 

“And you have my thanks as well. Airi, I’ll inform Adaman of your efforts — I’m sure he’ll be pleased to hear how helpful you’ve become. I’ll come to show my appreciation with a more proper reward as soon as I can.” Another smile from Mai — this time, Airi managed a small mirror of it. They hoped Adaman was pleased… “I’ll be taking my leave. Be good in Jubilife, won’t you?” Be good? Mai talked a little like she was family to Airi. It confused them, but not enough to prompt any protest — they just nodded in agreement. “Wonderful. Take care.” 

Laventon and Rei both wished Mai farewell while Airi stood in silence between them. They could tell their muteness was making things awkward. They just hoped she was dismissed soon. Everything remained far too loud — she wanted a chance to rest. At her side, Laventon sighed, said, “Are you certain you’re alright, my girl? Are you still unable to speak?” Airi nodded, shame dragging her eyes away from Laventon. 

“… I don’t get it, did something happen? It didn’t look like you got hit.” Rei stepped in front of Airi, staring her down with a frown. 

“I think I may understand. Airi, were you trying to tell us that things were too loud? Is that what you meant by pointing at your ears?” … They didn’t know if they were glad Laventon understood her, or ashamed. She nodded regardless. “Ah. Makes sense — Kricketune are already an awfully loud species. Even I must admit that alpha’s cry was rather overwhelming.”

“Wait, so… She heard a loud noise and now they can’t talk? That’s ridiculous.”

“Probably a culmination of the noise and the stress of the situation,” Laventon explained. “That was quite the dangerous battle — Airi herself was even targeted! I’m sure you would be just as rattled in their shoes.” 

“Yeah, but —”

“Be kind, Rei. Airi, do you care to return to Jubilife?” Laventon offered — she remained unable to meet his eyes. The idea of being around people was daunting, overwhelming enough to make her flinch. A slow headshake served as her answer. “You’d like to continue your work? Are you certain?” A nod. “… Well, if you’re positive. I need to return to Jubilife and organize with the Construction Corps for a new camp, as well as update Cyllene on your success. You’re welcome to stay out as long as you’d like, though I do hope you’ll join us for dinner, yes?” 

“Wait, we’re just leaving her when she’s, like, weird and mute?” Rei’s words earned a frown and a soft punch against his arm from Airi. “Hey! I’m just worried about you! If you can’t talk, you can’t call for help or —”

“I’m sure Airi knows their own limits,” the professor reassured. “Just because she can’t speak doesn’t make them incapable. You quite deserved that punch.”

“Fine, fine, whatever. Last time I try to worry about you, yeesh.” 

Ignoring Rei, Laventon told Airi, “Be safe out there. Don’t push yourself too much, yes?” At Airi’s nod, he gently pat their shoulder, said, “You did wonderfully today. Take care now!” His praises eased Airi enough to finally meet his eye. She gave a shy nod in acknowledgement. He stepped away, Rei trailing behind him — the latter kept glancing over his shoulder at Airi. 

Finally alone, Airi heaved a heavy sigh. She covered her face with her hands and wandered, largely blind, to the edge of the clearing. When she felt the transition from dirt to grass below her feet, they practically collapsed onto the ground. Drained. For all of their battle experience, the way they felt now… Something about being in real, palpable danger in a fight was incapacitating. Had they ever experienced that before? They couldn’t remember, just knew they felt sick with exhaustion and lingering nerves. This is what Rei meant, about the danger of Hisui. If Airi hadn’t dodged that attack… 

She didn’t want to think on it. She sat up and grabbed Rowlet’s pokéball from her pocket — poor thing needed healing. She released Rowlet into her lap and grabbed a potion from her satchel — I’ll need to craft more after this. In her lap, Leaf trilled a weak note. Sorry, buddy. Airi didn’t know Kricketune would have a flying-type move, hadn’t predicted it. She wouldn’t have sent Leaf against it if she’d known… They frowned. Carefully applying the potion to the battered grass-type. Didn’t say a word. 

She let Leaf stay out of its pokéball, cuddled next to Airi, while they took to crafting some more potions. A much easier process than crafting pokéballs, they noticed. Just crushing up oran berries and medicinal leeks and combining them into a salve. The process was methodical and soothing. A welcome, soothing measure against their anxiety. She applied one of the freshly-made potions to Leaf before letting it rest properly. Kept crafting for another half hour, if not longer. She made more potions than they needed — they zoned out in crafting, the process calming her near-completely. When she finished crafting, she laid back into the grass. Fixing her eyes onto the clouds drifting overhead, Airi wondered. Wondered about Wyrdeer, about alpha pokémon — about the things in Hisui that were so utterly foreign to Airi. She didn’t like not knowing things. Her brain had been so eager to provide them information on every pokémon up to this point, but now she was faced with a blank. They wondered about the word she remembered, too. What ‘delta’ could mean. Did it relate to ‘alpha’ pokémon? The words were related, both letters of the… 

… What, can’t even remember the name of an alphabet? 

Nevermind. Nevermind what they had forgotten. Who cared about the name of some historical alphabet? Who cared about the pokémon Airi didn’t recognize, the words she didn’t have meanings for, the life she had forgotten? It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter, it didn’t matter, it doesn’t matter. Maybe if she kept repeating that, it would hurt less. 

At her side, Leaf trilled and nestled closer to Airi’s side. Maybe it knew she was upset, Airi didn’t know. She rolled onto her side and pulled Leaf into her arms, hugging the little owl pokémon. Rowlet was familiar — Airi wondered why. They wondered why they were so attached to Shinx, why they knew so much about nearly every pokémon they encountered. The familiarity she felt here and there was nearly as painful as their amnesia. It just… It felt like proof, somehow. Maybe if Airi didn’t find anything familiar, they’d be able to pretend she had never had a life before to begin with. But she did. 

Nevermind. Nevermind , nevermind, just… Just stop. Hugging Leaf a little tighter, she murmured her first words since their battle, “Keep an eye out, okay..?” She didn’t want to fall asleep, they just wanted to lay down for a while. Needed to get herself together, to rest. Leaf chirped in affirmation and squirmed out of Airi’s arms to stand guard. Comforted by the knowledge her partner pokémon was looking after them, Airi let their eyes fall shut and tried to clear her mind enough to relax. We’ll get some more work done later, when they didn’t think they were going to explode. She still had to finish her Bidoof tasks and fill out a pokédex entry for Kricketot and… 

… Well, that could wait. She’d earned a little break, hadn’t they? 

After an hour spent laying down, Airi forced herself to get back to work. She needed something to do, some way to keep busy. She let Leaf stay out of its pokéball while they explored the area surrounding Deertrack Heights — the company was nice, really. The bird pokémon either flew alongside Airi or sat patiently on her head when they were still. They spent a lot of time just observing local pokémon and jotting down notes, catching a handful here and there. Conserving pokéballs for once. Seemed to be a lot of new pokémon on this side of the river: Graveler, Stantler, Kricketot, Abra, Paras… She caught at least one pokémon of every new species she discovered. The trick Volo taught her about came in handy in catching a Staravia — she even managed to catch a different alpha Kricketune without a fight using a back strike. She’d been intending on running away if it had broken out of the ball, not willing to battle another strong opponent so soon. After checking the Arc Phone for her list of requests, she made sure to pay special attention to writing Kricketot’s dex entry. Laventon hadn’t assigned her research tasks for that pokémon yet. They just had to use her best judgment in what was best to study. Hopefully this works for now… 

Whenever they battled, they used the Bidoof on her party. Her own pokémon were strong enough for now, and they were desperate to finish Bidoof’s tasks before she returned to Jubilife; her last task was to evolve one. After a battle against a particularly powerful Buizel, her Bidoof was overcome by bright light — lucky Bidoof evolves so early, Airi thought, crouching beside the pokémon with a smile. She watched as it grew bigger and bigger beneath the glow. If she wasn’t still so rattled from her fight, they probably would’ve showered the newly-evolved Bibarel with far more praise. But, well… She still couldn’t speak. Not well, anyway. She would have to settle with physical affection instead. Showering the pokémon in pets and giving it a handful of berries from her satchel as a reward for working so hard. Drawing the Bibarel into their pokédex was fun — because of its newly-gained water typing, Bibarel had webbed feet and a large, flat tail, all fun to draw. When she was finished recording new data, she gave Bibarel a few more treats and returned it to its ball — one list done… Hopefully Laventon was happy with her. 

Maybe I should report back. Was she ready for that? Spending some time working had calmed her down quite a bit, but… It’s okay. We’ll be fine. Laventon seemed pretty understanding of her issues. She could at least check in. If talking to the professor went poorly, she could go back out and do more work and continue avoiding other people and… 

… This is pathetic. She had battled before without any issue. Why were they so shaken up? Just because the battle was a little scary? She fought Star without freaking out! Star was already injured, though. Still, this was… 

Whatever, let’s just head home. Maybe she could just lay down in her dark quarters for the rest of the day. That didn’t sound too bad… 

She trudged back to the Fieldlands camp in slight agony, legs dragging, fatigue settling as a heavy weight over her body. The exhaustion was frustratingly unexplained — what had Airi done to warrant feeling like this? She’d already taken a nap that day! And it’s not like they had pushed herself that hard! It was her pokémon who had been working, all Airi had done all day was take notes and freak out over nothing. Annoying… 

Laventon wasn’t at camp by the time Airi made it back — there were a few people milling about, but they just ignored everyone and walked past the camp into Jubilife. A polite nod to Ress at the gate was the most socialization she was willing to do. Where would Laventon be? Was he still busy..? Airi wanted to show him her completed list so she could crawl into a corner for the rest of the day, but if he was busy, she would hate to bother him… Maybe she could check his lab at Galaxy Hall? Yeah, that seemed a good plan. 

She ignored everyone she could on the walk down Floaro Main Street. She’d completed a handful of requests, but she wasn’t willing to deal with talking any more than they had to. Requests could wait (hopefully). The moment she stepped into Galaxy Hall, she heard what they recognized to be Laventon's voice, alongside Cyllene’s, both through the open doors to the captain’s office. Oh. They’re busy. Just as Airi turned back to leave, she heard Cyllene call out, “Airi, are you here to give your report?”

They flinched, her hands hovering over the handle of the door outside. They looked over her shoulder and gave a cautious nod. “Alright. You may enter,” Cyllene said. Airi took that more as an order than permission. Another slow nod as she stepped through the foyer of Galaxy hall and into Cyllene’s office. The captain was seated at her desk, Laventon at her side, both of them looking over something Airi couldn’t see. 

“Welcome back, my girl! How are you feeling?” Laventon greeted with a smile. He rounded the desk to stand in front of Airi, who avoided his eyes and didn’t reply. “Still not conversational, then?” 

“… Finished list,” Airi managed to mumble. They fumbled for their pokédex and thrust it into Laventon’s arms before he could ask any follow-up question. The sooner she got this done, the better… 

“Ah, is that so? Splendid!” Laventon accepted the pokédex and flipped it open — Airi had tucked the sheet of paper with her Bidoof tasks in between the front cover and first page, so the completed task list was the first thing Laventon saw. An odd silence from the professor followed. Airi glanced up, confused — Laventon was usually so talkative… Did she do something wrong? He was frowning, too — his mouth a tight line across his face, brow furrowed. “Airi, did you truly complete this whole list?”

“Finished list,” Airi echoed. “‘S why I stayed out…”

“Airi, my dear girl, you’re not meant to complete every research task immediately, that is far beyond the point.”

Airi’s turn to frown up at him, confused. Rei had said something similar and she’d ignored it. “List,” they repeated. “Point of list is finish.” She didn’t know much sense they made, but with their limited ability to speak, that was the best they could do. 

“… Well, I suppose that would normally be the case, true, but…” Laventon sighed. “Airi, may I hold onto your pokédex and research tasks for a time? I’d like to read through the rest of your progress in better detail! I’ll return it before tomorrow.” 

… I did something wrong. Was this some kind of punishment? What if all of her notes had to be scrapped? Or she lost her star? Or —

“Allow me to see,” Cyllene said. She stood from her desk and walked to Laventon’s side, peeking over his shoulder at Airi’s pokédex. Eventually she took the pokédex for herself and flipped through it. The silence in the office wrapped itself around Airi, sickening and heavy. She couldn’t move, could hardly breathe, the air feeling as heavy as lead in her lungs — 

“You are progressing well.” Cyllene shut Airi’s pokédex but didn’t offer it back to Laventon or Airi. Instead, she took it to her desk. “I must admit, I am impressed. It seems you have earned yourself another star. So quickly after your first is… unprecedented, but not unwelcome. Your effort shows in your work.”  The woman stamped another star into the front cover of the pokédex while Airi stared, eyes wide in shock and confusion. Was she being punished or not..? They didn’t understand. If they were gaining another star, that meant she was doing well, right..? Right? Did she do good? 

After Cyllene stamped her pokédex, she closed it and slid it across her desk to Laventon. “Do remember to fill out the front cover,” she instructed. “Your name and photograph are still absent. Should you ever lose your pokédex, that information will help us return it to you.” They mumbled a weak agreement, shame rising to her cheeks. She’d forgotten… 

“Well said! Though, I doubt Miss Airi will let her pokédex out of her sight enough for that to be an issue.” Laventon smiled at them, said, “Jolly good work on your promotion. Already making splendid progress, aren’t you?” … I guess. She should have been happier about this, but… “Is something troubling you?” Airi shook their head in a desperate attempt to lie. “… Are you positive? You seem rather glum.”

“… Did I mess up..?” Their voice warbled like they were going to cry. Despite getting another star, Laventon’s reaction to her completing her list freaked her out. Watery eyes when she whimpered, “‘M sorry…” 

“Oh heavens no! Not to fret, my girl, you did wonderfully! I only worry that you’ll overwork yourself,” Laventon quickly assured. “You mentioned you stayed out surveying because you wanted to present a finished list, is that correct?” Airi answered with a weak nod and a quiet, affirmative murmuring. “I do not want you to feel obligated to ever ‘finish’ a set of survey tasks for a pokémon, but if that is how you work best, then I would like to tailor your tasks to better suit you. That is the only reason I’m hanging onto your pokédex for now.” 

“… Okay…” Airi’s agreement was half-hearted at best — clearly not convinced. She stared resolutely downward, focused on her feet and shaking hands and not on Laventon. She heard a heavy sigh and took it as confirmation: she really had messed up. She messed up, she —

A hand on her shoulder startled her into flinching. They glanced up, panicked and overwhelmed —... Only to see the warm, reassuring smile of the professor. “Airi, truly, you’ve done nothing wrong. If anything, I admire your work ethic! You’re quite talented.” He let go of their shoulder and continued, “I would like to put that diligence of yours to better use, so I’ll be modifying your tasks. I’ll finish before tomorrow — until then, why don’t you take it easy? You’ve had quite the busy day! Between your survey work and your request from Mai, you must surely be drained.” A hollow nod from Airi. “Here, come with me a moment and I’ll divy your wages for the day.”

“M’kay,” Airi mumbled back. She followed Laventon through the door into his office, hovered near the corner while Laventon rifled through his things. The fact that she was getting paid was a good sign, they guessed, but… Come on, he’s telling you it’s fine. Just believe him. Her anxiety wouldn’t listen to rational thought. Nothing could convince her they hadn’t done something wrong. Worry sat heavy in her gut like a stone — she felt nearly sick with it. Despite Laventon’s reassurances, despite her promotion and Cyllene’s words, she couldn’t shake the weight. 

“Here we are.” Laventon’s words pulled her out of her spiral enough to glance up. He stood in front of her, took her hands and placed her wages for the day in her palms. “Apologies, I’m rather disorganized at the moment! I need to tidy in here, but I’ve not found the time.” Another warm smile from the professor. “I know you’re still a little rattled, but I do hope you’ll still join me and Rei for dinner this evening? I’d certainly understand if you’re not up for it, but perhaps it’ll cheer you up some. We’ll celebrate your success!” 

“… Right,” Airi murmured. She tucked the money into her pocket, said, “Um, th — thank you, sorry for — sorry for being weird.”

“Not to worry, my girl. I’d likely be similarly rattled in your shoes. Take it easy, yes?” 

Airi hummed in assent and gave a weak farewell before leaving his office through the front door, not wanting to see Cyllene again. She didn’t want to see anyone, honestly. But… Well. She’d gotten a bit more money. Maybe they could finally go clothes shopping like she had wanted before..? Could she bear to talk to Anthe right now? Miss Anthe was really nice before when you freaked out. That was true, but… Worth trying. You can leave if it’s too much. Right… It’d be nice to have something more comfortable to sleep in. Her clothes from the Diamond Clan were nice, but they were a bit too warm for her. She walked out of Galaxy Hall and down the main street without another thought or word to anyone she passed. 

When she came to the clothing shop, Airi realised they still didn’t fully have their voice back. They couldn’t call for Anthe like they had before. Could they just walk in..? That seemed scary and rude. They hovered awkwardly out front for a moment before resigning herself to risk it. Crossing the threshold into the shop, she looked around for Anthe. 

The clothier sat on the left side of the building, sewing together a garment with soft green fabric. Airi entering must have caught her attention — she glanced towards them and brightened in an instant. “Oh, Airi! Welcome back! How’s your uniform treating you? Any complaints or changes you’d like made?” They quickly shook their head. Her uniform was perfect. “Oh, good! What can I do for you today, hon?” 

… Ah. Here came the talking part. They cleared their throat, tried to script out what to say. “I, um, wanted house clothes..?” 

“Oh, like loungewear?” Anthe clarified. Airi nodded, relieved that she was understood. “Check the rack by the back wall, let me know if anything catches your interest!” 

They nodded and wandered into the back of the shop. She spent some time browsing through the racks of clothes in the back — seemed mostly casual wear. At one end of the aisle were looser outfits made of a soft, light fabric, with loose stitching for breathability. She gravitated towards a muted purple set and pulled it off the rack to examine it. She pinched the fabric of the sleeve between her fingers to feel the texture. Satisfied by its softness and the feel of it against her hands, she draped the outfit over her arm.  She browsed for a little while longer and picked out one more set of purple casual clothes, another set of underclothes, and a pair of sandals. Satisfied, she approached Anthe with her items — hopefully she had the money… 

Anthe seemed pleased with her choices, commented on all the purple. Apparently it was her favorite color, too. She smiled while she totaled out Airi’s cost. Luckily, well within their budget. Airi couldn’t speak much, but after she paid, she managed to murmur genuine gratitude towards the woman. Anthe responded with another kind smile and told Airi, “Of course, hon, come by any time.” 

Airi stopped at home to put her new purchases away into her dresser. Really moving up in the world, they thought — now they had three outside outfits and two inside outfits! And two sets of shoes! That thought got them to brighten just a little. It was nice owning things… With her shopping done and new outfits tucked away, they went into their bedroom to lay on the floor for a bit. Floor time would fix them. Surely. Just a little time laying down, and she’d be right as rain again. Able to talk and socialize and not freak out about a situation that was probably-maybe-hopefully not true. 

The longer they were laying there, the worse she felt. Her whole body felt sore and heavy and awful, not to mention the heavy anxiety in their gut making her feel sick to her stomach. Maybe I should skip dinner… But Laventon wanted her there… Frustrated and overwhelmed, Airi rolled onto their side and curled into a tight ball, her knees near her head. Went too far today. They’d been too eager to be helpful, and now she was a mess. Annoying… Maybe Laventon was right to change her tasks. She really couldn’t fathom returning from an expedition without finishing at least one list, but now she felt awful… Maybe just because of the alpha fight? Either way… 

… She laid there until the light streaming in through the window above her started dimming. Cast in golden hour light laying on her bedroom floor, Airi felt pathetic and awful. You should eat. She didn’t want to. Not eating will make you feel more sick. But she didn’t want to socialize… Maybe she could just zone out and let Rei and Laventon chat amongst themselves. That’s basically what had happened the night before anyway. With a resigned sigh, Airi rolled to her back and sat up. Stared at her hands in her lap for a while. Tired… 

Before she could convince herself to stand up, a knock at her door rang through their quarters. They flinched with the sound and instinctually covered their ears. Why..? It wasn’t even that loud. They were freaking out over nothing. She pushed herself to her feet and darted to open the door before whoever was outside could knock anymore — Rei, it turned out. He looked over her in what Airi barely registered as worry. “Woah, you alright?” 

She nodded. She was fine, just being dramatic. Unconvinced, Rei frowned. Pointed out, “You look awful.” She mirrored his frown in pout and gave an insistent headshake. “… Well, Laventon was wondering if you’re joining us for dinner. Are you up for it?” She nodded. Retreated a few steps into her quarters so she could put on her shoes, all while Rei just stared at her. “… Well, okay. I’ll meet you there.” He slid the door shut before Airi could react. 

That was fine. Just meant less dealing with other people. Get over yourself. With her boots on, she left her quarters. Walked to the Wallflower with her head down and her hands shaking. Only glancing up when she knew she was close, revealing to Airi that Rei was sitting next to her spot again. She didn’t want to sit next to anyone… Well, better than being stared at by two people. She could cope with this. 

“Glad you could join us, my girl!” Laventon chimed. She sat at her spot without reply, trying to put as much distance between her and Rei as she could. “How are you feeling? Any better?”

“… ‘M fine,” she murmured. 

“You’re not convincing anyone,” Rei said. They tensed, freezing in her seat. “Did something happen, or is this still because of the alpha thing?”

“… Still,” they echoed. “Nothing. I’m fine.” 

“I’ll believe you when you say a full sentence.”

“Rei! That’s cruel,” Laventon chided. 

“What? I’m just proving a point. They can pretend all they want, but —”  Airi, unable to form a verbal protest, punched Rei’s arm to cut him off. Harder than she had earlier, a true warning to knock it off. The scoff she got in response made her flinch. “Fine, fine, whatever. I’m just worried about you, you know that?”

“You’re not showing that well. You’re being unkind,” Laventon said. “Come on, lighten up, the both of you. We have a lot to celebrate! With Airi taking out that alpha, we should have a new camp set up in Deertrack Heights in the next few days. Not to mention their speedy promotion to two stars!” 

“… Wait, they’re already promoted? They joined literally yesterday.” 

“Indeed! Quite impressive, isn’t it?” 

Despite Laventon’s praise, Airi couldn’t ‘lighten up’, much as she wanted to. She just felt heavy. Words faded to meaningless noise around her — all she did was stare down at her hands, balled into fists atop the table. This is stupid. She didn’t look up until she heard and saw food get set down in front of her. She finally tuned back into the world around her in order to listen to Beni’s retreating footsteps, ignoring Laventon and Rei talking around her. The sooner she ate, the sooner she could retreat into their quarters. They were talking about some kind of lord, maybe? Airi heard every other word as she ate, not paying enough attention to piece together their conversation. Something about lightning and a cleaver? She didn’t know. Didn’t really care. She should have cared, probably. 

She didn’t have enough appetite to eat her full portion, but she pushed through anyway. They didn’t want to waste food. Even if it meant she felt horrible as a result. She wanted to curl up and disappear, but she barely had the willpower to stand up. She’d wait until the other two were done — she didn’t want to interrupt them with her nonsense. She picked at the skin near her fingernails and waited for someone else to stand up. Someone to lead, to set the precedent. To give her permission. 

That someone turned out to be Rei. He nudged their arm to get their attention. When he turned her head to look at him, he said, “Hey, we’re done, if you’re ready to go.” A murmur of acceptance from Airi as her and Rei stood from the table. 

“Airi, my girl, please feel free to rest as much as you might need tomorrow,” Laventon instructed. “I’d hate for you to overwork yourself. If I remember correctly, Adaman instructed you not to push yourself — I’m certain he’d be sour with me if you fell ill from exertion. You haven’t any obligation to conduct surveys every single day. That’d be quite impractical.” 

Guilt flooded every ounce of Airi’s being. Laventon was worrying. And worse than that, he was right, Airi had pushed herself too hard. And now she felt awful. Adaman would be upset if he found out, not to mention Martia… She nodded her head, keeping her eyes down out of shame. 

He seemed satisfied with their answer. “Rest well, then. You two have a good night!” 

“… Yeah, you too, Professor,” Rei murmured back. He grabbed Airi’s wrist to pull her into motion — she murmured protest at the contact, but really, they were grateful. She still wouldn’t look up from her feet. She just let him drag them back to their quarters, content with mindlessly following. Was that reckless and stupid? Maybe. Did she care? Not really —

“Airi,” Rei said, dropping their hand. She glanced up, confused — they were standing outside of her quarters. “… Hey, uh, I… I got something for you.” That just confused her further. A baffled little frown at him while Rei rifled through his pockets. What, like, a gift..? He’d already given her a crafting kit, and she still owed him for the string for her pokéballs. From his pocket, he procured something made of black fabric, folded neatly into a square. He held it out for Airi. 

Confused, she accepted it. She didn’t unfold the fabric, just stared at Rei. Waiting. They needed permission. Only at his nod did she carefully unfold the fabric — finding it to be two pieces, not one. Gloves..? Plain, black, fingerless gloves, made of light and soft fabric. Even more confused now, she looked back at Rei. He wouldn’t meet her eye. Tugging his scarf to cover his mouth, he mumbled, “I, uh… I noticed you’re kind of weird with your hands. I thought maybe this would help. You don’t have to wear them or anything, but, well… I don’t know. Consider this my apology for being so rude today.”

Tears flooded Airi’s eyes in an instant. He — he really cared about them enough to notice her hands? Enough to get her gloves..? Even with how weird Airi had been all day? She’d even punched him! Twice! And he still..? She sniffled, held the gloves in one hand so she could wipe the tears out of her eyes with the other. If she weren’t crying, she would put them on. Instead she clutched them tight and murmured to Rei, “Th — thank you, I — I’m sorry —” 

“Sorry for what? You don’t have anything to apologize for.” Rei crossed his arms over his chest. “Unless you mean for punching me. Even then, I deserved it, so apology not accepted. Just take the gift, alright?” 

“‘Kay,” Airi responded, her voice weak from crying. “I, um… Th — thank you. For everything.” 

“That’s more like it.” The tiniest smile from Rei. He mock-punched their shoulder, said, “Thanks for today, for taking that request from me — you did way better than I would’ve. Now go get some sleep, you look exhausted. Remember, I’m next door if you need me.”

“Mhm… Thank you,” Airi murmured back. “Night.” 

“Night, Airi, sleep well.” 

With their farewells exchanged, Rei left Airi for his own quarters, leaving Airi standing outside of her door. Staring after him with watery eyes. When she finally stepped into her quarters, it felt like a lifetime had passed. Now she was alone in her quarters, just like she wanted. So why did they feel so much worse..? 

… Getting through their nighttime routine may as well have been torture. At least she had new clothes to sleep in. That was the one silver lining as she fought through changing clothes, rolling out her futon, organizing her bag before bed. The moment her bedding was ready, she collapsed into it, the weight on her body finally forcing her down. She squirmed under her blankets and curled into the smallest ball she could, completely hidden by the covers. The smaller she could make herself, the better. Maybe she could sleep like this… Small enough to barely even exist, compressing all the pain out of her body. The thought to release Eevee for comfort occurred to her, vaguely, in the back of their mind. The idea was too hazy to grasp. Shrouded by the fog of Airi’s exhaustion. She didn’t have the energy to act on it — surely she’d be okay alone for tonight. She was so tired… 

… 

……

♪ You should’ve got a better bed

Better for your head

Better heads need shut eye ♪