Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Alcohol never judged. 

"God - look at her. Pathetic. Crying like a little bitch!"

It didn't abandon you.

"Daddy? Where are you going?"

And it certainly didn't vanish from your life when you needed it the most.

"I'm sorry [Y/N]. In another life?"

Yeah, it burnt going down, but it didn't use words to do so. And was the burn so bad when it became something so good? You told yourself you would stop. It's just a bad day, a bad week, a bad month. A bad.. Year. That was until it got so bad that it didn't work anymore. No more relief. No more drunken texts. No more slurred confessions.

You needed something more effective. Something permanent.

Mt Ebott grew more and more promising as the days without the muffling of memories drew out long. The mountain that was whispered about in weathered fairy tales and articles dated back to 2016. They say that was where the monsters were banished to, never to see the light of the surface again. They say, once someone climbs the mountain, they never return.

That last part? A theory you were all too willing to test.

Chapter Text

Trekking. How long had it been? Minutes, hours, days? It felt like a blur while I was climbing the craggy scape of the mountain. This better work. 

If those who climb this mountain never return, it's probably because they couldn't be bothered to make the journey back down. I laugh at my own joke, since there was no one else to share the joy with. 

I don't know why I brought anything with me. Well, not that I brought a sufficient amount of 'anything', just my phone and my half-empty (or half-full) flask, the vodka inside was slightly warm from the walk - such a nice day out. At least I get to experience the warm weather one last time, right?

I look up and realise I can actually see the mouth in the mountain now. I still don't know how long it's been, though. I check my phone. It's only been an hour.. Dramatic much? Whatever, I just need to get to that cave and meet my fate. I ponder to myself as I walk the last few steps upwards, how many people have come here to die? Probably not many, but I'm here now. 

Inside of the cave, there's also a huge hole in the mountain, leading straight down. This was probably responsible for most deaths caused, as it was also surrounded by vines and various other forms of organic matter. Wonder how many people they tripped up. 

I peer over the edge.

Fuck, that is a long way down. 

My hands start to shake.

Is it hard to breathe in here or is it just me? 

I know exactly what I need.

I shakily slide the familiar object out of my pocket, opening the lid and swallowing the latter half of the warm liquid. The burning didn't matter, all that mattered was that I needed to calm down, quickly. That buzz in my chest was all too familiar, and I'll be damned if I said it wasn't the best feeling I've ever had the fortune of experiencing. 

I couldn't tell if the oxygen-barren air was fucking me up or the alcohol, but I didn't care. I came here to do one thing. I can't live this way any longer.

I take a deep breath of the air around me, my feet edging closer to the gaping jaws of the underground.

Those bastards don't deserve a note from me. Let them think it was their fault. Let them know it was their fault. I grit my teeth. Fuck, I'm terrified.

Come on, [Y/N]. You're not gonna back out now. 

I close my eyes and allow my body to lean forwards until I felt my feet leave the support of the ledge, plunging me into the darkness.

Airborne. 

Maybe I should've screamed, regretted my choices, given the exit one last look.

But I didn't.

This is it.