Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Toya and Akito have gotten closer over the span of these months, that much was obvious. They spent practically every waking moment together, attached at the hip, where one would go the other would be near, name it what you want; they were inseparable, and Toya wouldn’t trade the bond they shared for nothing in the world. Sure, maybe they had a bit of a tough start, but they stayed around, just for each other! 

Toya has never been this close with anyone before. He has never been close with anyone, really, having spent most of his days at home, isolated from the outside world—but now it was over, and he was going to cherish every moment he got to spent with his singing partner. And he knew Akito felt the same, or at least similarly. He wasn’t sure wether the ginger shared the skipped beats of heart Toya felt whenever Akito would smile at him, and maybe he wasn’t sure wether the latter had the same shivers go down his spine whenever they’d hug—but he knew he cared, a lot, he could see it in the way his face lit up in a way it didn’t seem like light up with anyone else, the way he’d look so on ease next to the blue-haired boy, or even how he tried at school, just for Toya. 

Toya wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. 

The morning was calm, not very sunny but not very cold either. The temperature was enough that their uniform sweaters werent necessary anymore, but he chose to wear his anyway. Everything was normal and peaceful. Well, maybe when he arrived in the academy the look Tsukasa gave him was an unusual one, and he did receive a simple lack of interest from Shiraishi as he arrived at their and Akito’s class, but he decided to pay it no mind. They probably didnt want to be there anymore, maybe they just simply weren’t in the mood. He guessed it was probably not his issue to try and figure out. 

Overall, he was in a rather good mood. It might not be visible to just any person’s eye, but he knew Akito would notice, and probably ask what got him in such a good mood in the first place; so he’d probably answer that it was nothing, or maybe that yesterday’s practice still got him feeling almost high on the feeling of their band’s voices weaving together, vibrating through every fiber of his body; not like he knew what high felt like. And it was the truth— though maybe not full. It was one of these days where he and Akito agreed to go out after school. A new place opened on the Vivid Street and they wanted to check it out; see if it worth the money. Toya couldn’t wait.

Speaking of; Toya’s lips widened in a soft smile as he noticed the familiar red hair in the small crowd of people entering the school. He waited by the entrance to the ginger's class, and as Akito approached he reached out with his hand to greet him.

“Akito, good morning.” 

The amount of emotion that flashed on Toya’s face as he stared into the dumbfounded look on Akito’s own was a first.

The morning run felt more like a punishment than something he enjoyed doing. Not only it started with dying out rain that soaked his hair a little too much. He could feel sweat mixing with the rain drip down his temples, and as his phone buzzed in his pocket he realized that on top of all that he was also running late. With a quiet curse under his breath he shot straight for his house, managing barely in time for a quick shower to get rid of the sweat– and definitely not enough for a breakfast.

His stomach churned slightly as he finally bit into the premade sandwich he bought at a store on his way to school. It was as good as these got, definitely not better than what he could’ve eaten at home, but it was better than nothing.

Somehow, he managed to step his feet in the school building few minutes before the bell rang. He slowed his walking and calmed his breath, his hand clenching on his bag. The morning wasn’t the best this far, that much he knew. Once he gets to class, he’ll just lay down and drift off, as always. Maybe it could get a little better.

Except it didn’t seem so, as the strange boy standing outside of his class seemed to have his eyes exactly on Akito, and he didn’t seem to be going anywhere. And even worse happened when he opened his mouth and greeted him.

“uh,” Akito bit his cheek after a moment of silence. His brows, raised high on his forehead lowered with a small furrow.

“Do I know you?”

He watched in silence as the soft smile faded away from the blue-haired boy’s lips; although it wasnt a very different expression, his brows furrowing a little. It was all in micro-expressions, really. Overall, the boy’s face looked very soft, Akito noted, to his own surprise.

“Akito?”  The stranger repeated himself, the softest hint of doubt seeping into his tone. “What do you mean? We’re friends.”

Akito blinked. The confused expression on his face lingered for a few more seconds, before he schooled it into the polite smile he taught himself to wear whenever he talked with someone new. “I’m afraid i don’t…know what you’re talking about.”

The boy’s lips tugged into a small frown. His eyes softened, looking down at the ground. “Is this another joke, Akito?” He asked softly. He mostly sounded confused.

Akito looked the boy up and down, his brows raising slightly. He studied the way his hair, split in the middle framed his face, the way he held himself slightly slumped, not with much confidence.

“No.” Akito shook his head softly, offering a warm smile. “I’ve never seen you in my life. You must be mistaking me for someone else.”

Akito watched as the boy’s eyes looked up at his face, studying him. He now would probably realize he took him for someone else, apologize and they’d both laugh it off. Yet, his face didnt soften from it’s furrow, and his distress only seemed to worsen.

“No. I’m Aoyagi Toya, and you’re Shinonome Akito. We’re singing partners, and a part of Vivid Bad Squad.” He sounded sure of himself, with the ever present softness of his tone. His brows furrowed with what he could assume was determination, maybe focus.

Aoyagi Toya? Akito thought for a moment. The name did sound familiar. 

“I…am Akito Shinonome, yes.” Akito smiled softly, scratching the back of his neck. It was kinda weird to know that some stranger just knew his full name like that. But he decided to not comment on that. “But I can assure you, I’ve never….hm. I sing alone. And, I’ve never heard of this…Vivid..”

“Vivid bad squad.” The boy, Toya, finished for Akito. He sounded sad. “Are you sure, you…?”

The bell rang over the rest of the sentence. Akito looked up at the clock on the wall. He should be getting into class. From the corner of his eye he looked inside the classroom through the glass, before looking back to Aoyagi. He sighed.

The boy looked lost in thought. His hands folded over his chest, hugging his elbows. His brows were slightly furrowed, creating a small crease across his smooth, porcelain looking forehead.

Akito sighed softly. The air on the rooftop was warmer than when he went jogging. The sun was a little above the horizon, the sky a bright blue. It was calm, as everyone was in class–Akito should also be, yet he chose to instead stay with the strange boy who appeared at the entrance to his class. He watched as the already pale skin seemed to get even more paper-y. His eyes locked on the ground, his lips curled into a soft frown. His bottom lip pouted out the slightest bit.

Akito let himself study the other boy for a moment once more. He was lost in thought, the furrow of his brows and curl of his lips the only signs of how he must’ve been feeling inside. He did sound confident back then; so sure that it was a joke. Was it somehow possible that he truly meant what he was talking about?

Akito brushed the thought away. No, it was obviously not possible. He’d know if he had a singing partner, he scoffed. The thought was ridiculous. 

Akito’s brows furrowed slightly as he looked down at Toya’s hands folded over his lap. His thumb was scratching over the back of his palm. A red mark appeared where his nail scratched  over the skin over, and over.

Akito didn’t say anything about it. He turned his head away, keeping the silence between them. They didn’t know each other. He’d report him to the principal, or some other authorities. Some crazy, perhaps schizophrenic boy asking for him was not his responsibility.

Chapter Text

“Aoyagi?” Ena raised her brows, looking the blue-haired boy up and down. “Hm. Nice to meet you.”

Toya smiled politely, bowing his head slightly as Akito introduced him to his sister. Maybe it wasn’t ideal to just invite a complete stranger to his house, but as the sun travelled over the sky throughout the day it turned out that where Toya swore he was living was on sale, and he had nowhere to go. With a heavy sigh Akito offered that they could just go to his place. Toya looked up at him, his expression one as if he was on the verge of crying. Through the day Akito noticed his expression seemed to not vary very much between soft smiles and gentle frowns, but once he started noticing the small furrows of his brows or the way his eyes lit up, it was easier to read the boy. 

He still seemed distressed. He was ready to swear on his own grave that he knew Akito, that that’s where he lived. Akito didn’t like any of that one bit.

“Hm. Isn’t Aoyagi that famous musician from around here?” Ena questioned, looking between her brother and his new friend. 

Toya’s eyes lit up. He gave a quick, nod, his hand gripping at his sleeve. “Yes, yes, that’s my father–”

“Haven’t they moved out of Tokyo a few years ago?”

Toya, who seconds ago looked as if he just saw a light at the end of a dark tunnel, now looked as if the light turned out to be a train that was about to run him over.

“Well, I…think I’d know if I had moved out.” He mumbled, his gaze dropping down to his feet, once more looking dejected. Almost like a kicked puppy, Akito thought, before dismissing the ‘so cute’ thought that followed.

Ena pulled out her phone, typing something into google. After few moments of fairly uncomfortable silence she showed the screen to both boys. ‘Aoyagi Toya’, it read, ‘the 16-year old prodigy, occasionally performing by his father’s side…’.

Once again, Toya seemed to go even paler than normally. “No, that…doesn’t make sense. Everything’s wrong…” He trailed off. His hands clenched into fists by his side, digging his nails into the insides of his palms.

“Ah. I guess. There…used to be a boy named like that in our grade a few years back.” Akito chimed in. “He didn’t hang around after school though. I don’t think anyone noticed when he disappeared, he was never very…social.” Akito rubbed his chin, looking at Ena, then at Toya again.

Toya could feel another headache settle in. His palms ached slightly from the nails digging into the soft skin there. 

It all simply didnt make sense. He left his house this morning, didnt he? Of course he did. Did he imagine the past two years? There’s no way he could’ve. Everything felt so real.

But all of this also did. The way Akito looked at him as if he didn’t know who he was. The way everyone around him has never heard his name, never seen his face before. As if he was a stranger. 

But he wasn’t a stranger, right?

He wasn’t a stranger to Akito, right?

His lips tugged into a frown. His eyes had an ache to them he long forgot; was he really about to cry about this? His throat felt tight.

“Let’s just…go to my room.” Akito broke the silence. His tone was soft, but as Toya looked up at his face he could tell it was the pleasant front he put on in front of strangers.

Was he really a stranger to him?

If there existed hell, it must’ve been this.

Toya turned his head away, giving a small nod.

“…okay.”

Akito’s room was so familiar. It felt like coming back home, almost, almost distracting Toya from the unfamiliarity Akito treated him the whole day. His gaze sweeped the walls, looking over the event flyers stuck to the walls.

Out of habit, once Toya stepped inside he made himself at home. Obviously, it wasn’t like he took up much space or started treating the place like his literally, but he had no issue with stepping inside and taking the seat at the chair at Akito’s desk. 

Akito followed after him, moving to sit on his bed. Neither of them said anything for a moment.

Toya could feel Akito looking at him, studying the way he sat, the way his hands clenched on his lap again. His knuckles were turning white due to how tight he was tightening his fists.

His gaze lingered on the RAD WEEKEND flyer Akito kept above his bed.

“It’s an event I was to when I was young.” Akito explained, noticing where Toya was looking. “In the future, im going to—“

“I know.” Toya cut in. He felt his throat tighten again. “…it’s your dream to surpass it.”

After few seconds of silence, he added even quieter; “…our dream.”

But, could Toya even say that? It was Akito’s dream after all. One that he was willing to share with Toya when the latter didn’t know what to do with himself, when he was ready to give up… Akito was there for Toya when he needed him. Toya also wanted to be there for the other—

Maybe it all was karma for acting as if he could ever stand by Akito’s side without bringing him down.

The thought almost hurt physically. Toya’s eyes closed tightly, his nails digging into his lap.

“…it’s our dream as vivid bad squad.” Toya continued after a longer pause. “With Shiraishi, and Azusawa.”

“Shiraishi and Azusawa?” Akito repeated. Toya opened his eyes slightly, watching as Akito folded his arms over his chest. “They sing as a duo on the Vivid street. They did mention something about surpassing RAD WEEKEND…” he puckered his lips slightly as he though for few moments, before clicking his tongue. “Doubt they’ll manage. Azusawa has no idea what she’s doing. Shiraishi is going way too soft on her.”

“Azusawa has a lot of potential…” Toya mumbled, looking down. He loosened his hands on his lap, instead connecting them for his thumb to start scratching at his skin again.

“But she’s way too behind to catch up. And, she didn’t even see RAD WEEKEND. I don’t know how An can just… share the dream as if it doesn’t matter. As if Azusawa will ever understand.”

That hit way too close to home. Toya felt as if something sucked all his breath out of his lungs. His eyes stung again, and this time he couldn’t stop them from getting wet. He closed them tight again.

Right. Did he understand? Will he ever understand what Akito and Shiraishi felt that day?

“Wait, what’s wrong…?” Akito asked, his tone softer. The facade, again, Toya noticed. Like he didn’t matter to the red-haired boy.

“…it’s nothing.” Toya shook his head. His hand shot up to wipe away all the tears that formed in his eyes. “…im just…tired. It’s been a weird day.”

He was hoping that maybe in the morning it would all be back to normal. Maybe it was just a bad nightmare? Toya prayed that that was it.

“That…makes sense.” Akito smiled softly. A hint of worry in his tone.

It’s all a facade, Toya knew.

“Well, I guess…I don’t think my parents would have anything against you staying…over.” Akito offered. He looked the blue-haired boy up and down, before sighing softly. “You can borrow some pj’s from me, since you don’t have anything on you.”

Toya nodded. It wasn’t the first time he would be staying over at Akito’s; at least that’s what his memories told him. He didn’t know what to believe anymore.

“…cool. The bathroom is at the end of the hall. You do look tired.” Akito got up from where he was sitting, walking over to his closet. He opened the door and looked through the clothes inside for a moment, before handing a shirt and some sweatpants to Toya, along with clean underwear. “It should be your size.”

Toya nodded again, taking the clothes with a quiet ‘thank you’. They were his size, he knew that. Akito didn’t seem to.

He turned away, now walking towards the exit from the room. He reached the bathroom and locked the door behind himself.

With a heavy sigh, Akito flopped back onto his bed. He’ll have to go prepare a place to sleep for the unexpected guest; he’ll probably just put some blankets on the floor, with a pillow and some clean sheets.

For now though, he gave himself a moment to think over everything that have happened through the day. He didn’t have a moment for himself before that, so he was definitely about to use it. 

Obviously, Toya seemed to know stuff about Akito just any stranger wouldn’t. Especially not the kind of stranger that moved to America with his family three years ago. What was he doing here, then? How could he not remember moving from Tokyo, how could he remember their supposed friendship when they never even talked before? It all was making his head hurt. 

Though he couldn’t deny some sort of pull towards the other boy. Through the day he found himself doing things he’d never expect himself to do; he ran a a hand down his face. Who just invites a stranger over to their house? But there was a sense of security in the back of his head, telling him that he didn’t have anything to fear in the stranger. It also was whispering that Toya was genuine and they actually had a duet, a band even, going on, but he dismissed that part.

With a soft sigh he got up from the bed and walked back over to the closet. He took out a few folded blankets, before setting a place for Toya to sleep on, on the floor. He sat back onto his bed, waiting for the other to come back.

It was weird, sleeping on the floor like that. The blankets were comfortable, sure, but as Toya looked on Akito’s back, as the boy turned towards the wall, he felt a pang in his chest. 

The past few times he stayed over at Akito’s, they’d sleep together in bed. Not like they’d ever tell anyone—there wasn’t anything to say anyway!!! It wasn’t weird. Just two bros sharing a bed. It started when they both accidentally fell asleep after watching a movie—they woke up around 2 am, and slightly flustered Toya went back to where he was supposed to sleep, on the floor. But the next time it just happened again, and this time they stayed like this the whole night. It just stayed a habit now, and neither of them complained. It felt nice to have the other boy close.

Now, the floor felt even colder. Toya buried his face in the pillow. Everything smelled so distinctly Akito, it made Toya’s head spin. He wanted to go up and get into bed with the red-haired boy, for them to hug again like they did in the past—but he had no right. To Akito he was nothing more than a stranger.

Chapter Text

Ghost of a touch on his hand made Toya’s eyes flutter open. He looked around.

Warm sun hit his face, warming up his cheeks and nose. The air was calm, the light breeze tousling up his hair gently.

He looked down at his hand. His palm was covered by another, a slightly bigger hand. Akito’s.

Toya looked up again. A soft smile formed on his lips as his gaze met the olive green eyes of the other boy, the wide grin spread on his lips making Toya’s chest feel warm.

Carefully, he squeezed Akito’s hand back. In response the latter intertwined their hands securely, pulling Toya in a bit closer. Toya didn’t fight back, the feeling of being close with the red haired boy making him feel as if a huge weight just got lifted off of his shoulders.

“…Akito.” He breathed out, his voice slightly shaky. He could feel his eyes sting a little with tears again; this time out of happiness. “…that was horrible.”

“…I know.” Akito spoke softly, and this time Toya could feel the genuine care in his tone. No more facades, no more masks. It was the two of them against the world again. “…im so sorry you had to go through that. But don’t worry, it was just a bad dream.” Akito’s tone was soft. It filled Toya with a sense of security. He trusted Akito. He knew Akito would never lie to him. “…we’re back together, aren’t we?”

Toya didn’t look away from Akito. He watched as the latter dropped down onto one knee in front of him, not noticing the way the grass seemed to grow around them, flowers that weren’t there before blooming.

“I love you, Toya.”

Toya’s chest swelled with a warm feeling. Was that what he was feeling all this time? He never had the opportunity to experience that before. He sucked in a shaky breath, a tear rolling down his cheek.

“…I-i…I think I love you too…” he whispered. His legs felt like jello—he let them buckle out under him, dropping onto Akito’s level. 

Toya’s free hand moved up, hesitantly pushing some hair out of Akito’s face. He could feel his cheeks flush at the lines of his cheekbones; Akito was blushing too, his cheeks blooming deep red. 

Akito leaned into the touch slightly. His hands moved to gently hold onto Toya’s hand, bringing it up and kissing his knuckles.

“…I love you, Toya. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He murmured against  the back of Toya’s hand. Toya’s fingers curled around Akito’s tighter, and he didn’t even try to fight back the tears that threatened to spill over more and more with every word.

“I love you too, Akito.” He spoke with more certainty in his tone, this time. “…I want to keep singing by your side…”

“…can I kiss you?” Suddenly Akito’s face was much closer. Their noses brushed together. Toya’s eyes widened, his lungs feeling a bit too empty. He swallowed down, trying to get rid of the dryness of his throat.

“…I…um…”

“Pretty please?”

“…okay.”

Akito leaned in, and suddenly it felt as if a thousand butterflies just let loose in his stomach. The moment their lips touched, in such a soft way, Toya felt as if he was about to blow up.

Akito’s lips were soft against his. Maybe a little dry, maybe a little chapped, but so soft nonetheless. His eyes fluttered closed, mirroring Toya’s.

He never kissed anyone before in his life. Has Akito? Toya wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter, though. It felt so nice. His free hand hesitantly moved to lay on top of Akito’s shoulder. He hesitantly, gently kissed back.

After a few more seconds they pulled away. Both slightly breathless, flustered, staring into each other’s eyes. Toya didn’t notice the soft grass changing into hard asphalt under his knees.

Akito leaned in again, though this time instead of aiming towards his lips, he leaned towards the side of Toya’s head. A soft whisper reached his ear, the warm breath tickling the skin there.

Suddenly Akito sounded like he was on the verge of tears, with a stuffy nose.

“…still so many songs to sing.”

A sharp white light hit the corner of Toya’s eye, and before he could react in any way, the sound of a car braking filled his head.

When Toya woke up, staring at the white ceiling above, the ghost touch on his hand didn’t disappear.

Was he… dead?

He sat up, running a hand through his hair. He looked at his other hand. He felt as if someone had a tight grip at it; it almost hurt, yet felt so gentle at the same time. 

Then the memory of his dream hit him. He could feel his cheeks flush as his mind immediately went to how nice kissing Akito was. It was just a dream, he told himself, but his hand still went to cover his lips and press softly against them. He closed his eyes, imagining it was Akito again. The gentle flush on his cheeks deepened.

He wanted to get his mind off of the kiss, focusing on the ending of his dream. A car? His lips tugged into a frown. The sound of brakes scraping against the hard ground was still ringing in his ears.

He looked around. He was still on the floor, in Akito’s room. So, yesterday wasn’t a bad dream, or a hallucination. He still existed in a world where Akito didn’t know who he was.

Speaking of, Toya’s eyes landed on the other boy. He was laying on his bed, his blankets pooling over his hips. He was laying on his stomach, his arms hugging his pillow, his cheek pressed against it. His gaze was on Toya.

When their eyes met, he looked away. Toya smiled softly at that. Friends or not, it still was Akito. 

Toya begged that the flush on his cheeks didn’t worsen any more.

“…I miss it when we were friends.” Toya finally spoke, looking down at the ground. One of his hands shot up to the side of his face, scratching an itch there. It felt as if someone was petting him there.

“We’ve never been friends.” Akito answered. His tone was slightly raspy from sleep. Toya didn’t hate it.

“…I remember us being friends, though.” He argued softly. His hands folded over his lap, his thumb scratching at his knuckles. “…and it was very nice.”

“…aha.” Akito didn’t sound very interested. This time he didn’t even bother with the pleasant front.

Toya’s lips curled into a small smile.

“…you were so nice. I’ve never had anyone I’ve been close with, before you.” He looked off to the side. He could feel his throat closing up again.

“…you said you didn’t want to ever sing with anyone else other than me again. That I’m the one you want to, um, fulfil…your dream with.” His voice dropped to a whisper at the end. His throat felt too tight to say anything else. He lowered his head, his jaw tight.

The invisible grip at his hand felt tighter too, in a comforting manner.

Akito stared at Toya’s slumped form. With a small groan he buried his face in his pillow, stretching out his legs under the covers.

After few moments he turned his head to look at Toya again, his cheeks squishing against the pillow.

“My dream? Surpassing RAD WEEKEND?”

“Yes,” Toya gave a small nod. His voice was now a mere whisper.

“Have you seen it? RAD WEEKEND, I mean.”

“…no.”

Akito frowned. With a soft sigh he raised himself into a sitting position, stretching his arms above his head. His hair was a mess, his eyes tearing up as he yawned. He rubbed the tears away.

“Then, do you really think you could ever understand what it takes to surpass it?”

Chapter Text

Toya stared blankly at Akito. The silence stretched on for another few minutes.

He clenched his fists, his nails once more digging into the inside of his palms. The ghost touch on his hand disappeared; Toya wouldn’t mind if it stayed for a little more. It was a pleasant feeling.

“…well, you…showed me the recordings, and…” Toya hesitated. His chest felt tight, the tips of his ears warm from embarrassment. 

“Recordings,” Akito scoffed, turning his head away from Toya. “I can bet that they don’t share even half of the…the way the show felt.”

His tone was cold.

“You have to be serious about it, if you even want me to consider you’d be able to surpass it with me.”

Toya stared at the side of Akito’s head for few moments, before looking away. He closed his eyes shut again. The words rang in his head, making him dizzy, almost nauseous even, leaving a bitter taste on his tongue and an ache behind his eyes.

Uncomfortable silence fell over the two of them for the next few minutes. Even when Toya finally opened his eyes, he didn’t dare look up at Akito.

Of course. He was right. Toya shouldn’t have believed he might be enough to stay by his side.

“…you showed me how passionate…you were about the dream.” Toya muttered, though there was little conviction in his tone. ”…you…you’re the one who let me sing with you.”

“You always have been, and always will be the best partner I could ever ask for. Thanks.”

“Toya and I are partners. Always have been, and always will be.”

“Like I said, I was always desperately trying to catch up to you.”

Toya looked up. Their eyes met again, and this time Toya didn’t break the eye contact. One of his hands went to lay on top of his heart, gripping on the shirt there.

“…m-my Akito would never say that.” His brows furrowed. “…he wanted me to stay by his side. He wouldn’t make me…doubt it.”

Yet, he still did. It looked awfully impossible for him to be on the same skill level as Akito.

Akito just raised his brows.

They sat in uncomfortable silence for the next half an hour. Akito laid back down, facing the wall again, away from Toya. 

Toya stared at his back for another few minutes, before looking down at his lap again. ‘His Akito’? What was he even saying? A soft, bitter smile formed on his lips. ‘His’ Akito would probably say the same as…this Akito. Toya shouldn’t put words in his mouth.

Silence was only broken by Toya’s stomach rumbling. He felt himself be pulled out of his thoughts, almost startled by the sound of his own body. His eyes widened, and his cheeks flushed the slightest bit. He looked at Akito.

The red-haired boy turned over to lay on his side again, though this time facing Toya properly. He lifted himself to a sitting position again.

“…I guess you haven’t eaten since that sandwich yesterday.” He muttered under his breath. He threw his legs over the edge of his bed, his cold feet hitting the floor as he got up. He stretched again. Toya tried to not pay attention to the way his shirt rode up, exposing a silver of his stomach. Akito pulled his shirt down.

“…y-yeah…” Toya agreed with a small nod. He got himself into a standing position as well, running a hand through his hair to fix it.

“…come to the kitchen. I’ll get you something.” Akito ordered in a slightly grumpy tone, beginning to walk towards the exit out of his room. Toya followed. 

The floor felt cold under his bare feet. He followed Akito to the kitchen, standing few feet behind him as he watched Akito rummage through the cupboards.

“…I’d offer you pancakes, but something tells me you’d prefer something less…sweet.” Akito grumbled. He turned his head just enough to look at Toya from the corner of his eye.

Toya’s eyes widened at that. “Uh, yeah. I don’t really have a sweet tooth like you.” He confirmed. He had no idea how Akito could’ve known—but he didn’t question it. It made him feel a bit more warm in his chest.

‘He looks ethereal’, Akito tried dismissing the thought that kept pestering him in his mind. He leaned his elbow on the table they both sat at, trying to not make it too obvious that he was staring.

Because, how could he not? The blue-haired boy was absolutely gorgeous. Akito chewed slowly at a piece of his pancake (they finally settled on those; Toya got savoury ones with cottage cheese. Akito got ones with cottage cheese and sweet jam.), his eyes locked on the way his hair framed his face, slightly out of place, falling over his forehead and cheeks. Akito almost itched to push the hair out, watching as Toya did it himself, moving his bangs out of his eyes. His eyes were a nice, gray hue. Akito found himself liking it, a lot. The moles on his cheeks and neck looked stupidly kissable, though Akito tried to dismiss that thought as well.

What was it about this boy, technically still a stranger, that made Akito feel in a way he has never felt before? He looked back down at his plate, bringing another piece of food to his lips. He chewed it slowly, deciding to not stare at the other anymore.

“Oh. There you are.” Ena’s voice broke the silence between the two. Akito looked up at her and raised his brows slightly. She looked like she haven’t slept the night through—which she probably didn’t, she probably stayed up with that music group of her. Akito’s eyes swept over the bags under her eyes, before inevitably landing back on Toya. He immediately looked back to his sister.

“Whaddya want?” He asked, not bothering to sound pleasant. This whole situation was just making him angry and tired, and he didn’t feel like holding it in. At least the anger.

“When I was on call with Niigo earlier, I mentioned this situation to the others.” Ena started. She placed one hand on her hip, her eyes moving to look at Toya, which only earned a polite smile from the boy. Ena sighed. “Kanade…you know, she’s more in the music scene than me. She said she heard a few of both Harumichi’s and Toya’s concerts.”

From the corner of his eye, Akito could see Toya’s eyes twitch. Mentioning his father seemed to distress him, at least a little, Akito noticed.

“And…? Wow, cool, a worldwide musician listened to worldwide.” Akito grumbled sarcastically, looking back down to his plate. He brought another piece of food to his mouth.

“…Aoyagi Toya…at least, you know, the…musician one? Ours…? He got into a car accident.”

Akito almost choked on the piece of pancake he was chewing, immediately looking back to Ena. The girl was rubbing her eye, her other hand covering her mouth as she yawned. She turned on her heel, presumably planning to go back to her room. 

“W-wait, what do you mean a car accident—?” Akito questioned, standing up. His tone was demanding. He hoped it didn’t sound too concerned.

“Gee, just google it yourself.” Ena grumbled, waving her hand dismissively. “I’m going to sleep.”

Akito grit his teeth. “Oh c’mon, you can’t just—“ he sighed heavily, flopping back down to his chair. He ran a hand through his hair. He looked at Toya.

The blue-haired boy was sitting slumped over the plate. Akito could barely see his eyes because of the bangs falling over his face, but he could make out how he stared blankly at his plate.

Finally, Toya straightened himself. He moved his hands from where they were resting on his lap, to his plate. He stood up, almost looking like he was programmed to do so, almost like a robot. He picked up the plate.

“I’m full, thank you.” He turned away, towards the kitchen, where he placed the plate. He looked at Akito. “…I’ll be in your room, if that’s okay?”

Akito nodded, watching as the other boy disappeared from his line of vision. He looked at the unfinished pancake resting in the kitchen, before sighing. His throat felt tight with concern for the other boy.

He looked down at his own last half of a pancake and stabbed it with his fork. He also lost his appetite. Instead, he fished his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and going straight to google. 

He searched the other boy’s name, and a light wave of nausea went through his stomach as he read the first headline.

The crash wasn’t fatal, thankfully. His eyes scanned the first photo in the article. The boy was in coma.

But, he looked so peaceful. 

Akito’s thumb hovered over the screen as he studied Toya’s calm face, surrounded by white of the hospital. Was that how the prince in the Sleeping beauty, or Snow White felt? He knew it would be wrong, but he couldn’t help but imagine leaning over the bed and—

He scolded himself internally, shaking his head. He set his phone on the table, screen down and decided to just finish his food.

Chapter Text

Akito stirred away in the middle of the night, feeling uncharacteristically warm.

The room was still dark, and as he yawned, rubbing his eyes open, he noticed where the warmth was coming from—his back, pressed against a source of heat. Like a radiator, but soft against his back, especially where his shirt rode up above the waistband of his sweatpants.

Then, he noticed also an unusual weight over his waist, something long and warm wrapped over his waist.

And only after that did the memories hit him; he had Toya come over, to study. After that they decided to watch a movie together, in his bed, and—

And they must’ve fell asleep together. His mouth filled with the taste of an unplanned nap, his eyes felt sticky with sleepers—he wiped them away with his fingers. The realisation slowly hit, that Toya was most likely still behind him, and they both fell asleep, cuddled to each other.

His cheeks burnt as he finally managed to turn over without stirring Toya awake, or removing his hand from his waist. It felt a little too nice to disturb him.

His eyes finally adjusted to the dark, and— oh, oh god, their faces were so close. 

Akito studied Toya’s sleeping face in silence. His eyes raked over the calm features, his lashes resting on his cheeks, the soft moonlight seeping through the curtain pooling on his porcelain-like skin, highlighting  his cheekbone. His lips looked soft, so did his hair, falling over his forehead and framing the sides of his face.

Toya either felt Akito staring, or 3:21am (as Akito read on a digital clock by his bed) was his natural waking hour, as his eyes slowly fluttered open. Akito watched as his nose adorably scrunched up as his gaze tried to adjust to the dark—

And then their eyes met. A little too intimate.

Akito didn’t dare say anything. He could feel Toya’s hand tighten for a moment on his waist. Akito dared to hesitantly move his hand up to brush some hair out of Toya’s eyes.

The blue-haired boy’s lips curled in a soft smile. Akito’s touch was soft as he brushed his knuckles against his skin.

Neither of them said anything for a longer moment. It felt magical. Akito would give anything to just stay like that.

Finally, Toya’s hand on Akito’s waist loosened. He raised himself into a sitting position, running his now free hand through his hair. “…a-sorry. I’ll go sleep on my spot.” He finally spoke, his voice soft. A bit groggy from sleep.

Akito watched silently as Toya moved away, before laying down on the ground. He missed the warmth by his side.

They won’t talk about it the next day. Or ever again.

hi!!!! It’s me!!!noma!!!yay!!!it’s not a chapter. Obviously. I promise the fic will be back with normal updates…eventually. I’m in a shitty place right now, I’m sorry. I thought it was over, I felt better, good even!!!and it’s all fucking gone. I want to die so bad. I promised myself not to do anything before I finish the fic—that’s one of the reasons I even started writing it, ngl. But. Like. Sorry. I’ll try to write longer chapters as a way to make up for it. I wouldn’t consider it a hiatus!!!at least I hope it doesn’t end as one. I really want to finish this story. Hope yall r doing better than me and see u in the next update!!!:)

Chapter Text

Toya sat back down on his mattress on the floor in Akito’s room, before falling back into a laying position.

He stared blankly at the ceiling, a thick lump in his throat making it hard to breathe. His lungs felt empty no matter how much he tried to breathe—he tried to deepen his breaths, yet it did little to help. Only made him slightly lightheaded.

His vision felt way too blurry and sharp at the same time, the light coming in through the window sharp against his eyes. His head felt heavy yet light, he could almost feel every one of his hairs tug at his scalp. He lifted his slightly shaky hands to his head, covering his face from the painful light. His skin felt cold. 

Heavily, he flopped onto his side, curling in on himself into a fetal position. His legs curled up to his chest. His stomach felt empty and too full at the same time as his legs squeezed it slightly. He felt nauseous. The pancakes left a bitter taste on his tongue, more bitter than the blackest coffee he has ever drank.

He felt cold, though at the same time drops of sweat left cold trickles down his temples and neck. 

Yet, even with eyes closed and shielded from the light, under his lids he could still see the blinding white light, burning straight into his eyes. His ears ringed with a steady, high, beeping sound. 

His hands slid higher. His fingers rubbed against his scalp as he gripped his hair lightly, his head turning to bury his face in the pillow Akito provided him with the day prior. His eyes ached with tears again.

His thoughts were running a hundred miles a minute. What was he even supposed to make out of it? An accident. A car accident.

The memories of his dream from the night came back into his head. There was a car there, too, wasn’t there? He could barely think through the white noise making his thoughts blurry and barely understandable. He never felt panic like this before, in his life.

His jaw clenched tight as he lowered his hands back down, to instead hug them to his chest. His hands gripped at his shirt. Everything around him smelled like Akito. Toya was close to hating it.

His nails dig into his skin through his shirt as a sudden thought hit him like a bucket of cold water, tuning out any other idea or feeling that might’ve been running through his head. Even the beeping stopped.

Was he dead?

His lips curled involuntarily into a scowl, his breath hitching in his throat. His eyes clenched shut as he felt a wave of tears his the back of his eyes, his body curling in on itself even more. Quiet words fell from his lips in a shaky, soft tone. 

“…I’m so sorry, Akito.”

With a heavy sigh, Akito dropped his head onto his hand. He stared blankly at the plate in front of him, now empty save for a few spots where the jam poured out of the pancake, staying on the plate. He didn’t feel like clearing it off, which he’d usually do—even the last few bites were a bit too forced on his part. His stomach was churning. 

He didn’t get up from the table, not yet. He will go to his room eventually, of course he had to talk to Toya, but if he was being honest, he wasn’t looking forward to the confrontation.

He sighed heavily. What did he ever do for all this to happen to him? He worked solo. Nobody else seemed to understand just how serious he was about his dream, his plan for surpassing RAD WEEKEND. It wasn’t a childish dream, hope of that happening. He was sure he’ll manage. He will overcome the legend, become a new one.

He just had to get the other boy out of his head. 

He lowered his face into both his hands now, his index fingers massaging his temples. His head still hurt. And no matter what he tried to think of, he couldn't get the image of Toya peacefully asleep from before his eyes, as if burnt into the back of his eyelids.

Akito ran a hand down his face, lifting his head back up. It still pounded with remains of his earlier headache, now fading, yet still present enough to be an annoyance in the back of his mind.

He pushed himself up into a standing position, leaning on the table. With a sharp motion he picked up his plate and moved with it over to the kitchen. 

His gaze lingered on the half finished pancake resting, now probably cooled down next to the sink. He forced his eyes away as he put his own plate away to the dishwasher, before leaning on the counter over Toya’s unfinished breakfast.

He tapped his fingers on top of the counter as he thought about it for a moment. He could throw it out and put the plate away, to keep it clean. It was fairly insignificant.

Though, Akito’s brows furrowed. Toya barely ate anything. It would be inevitable that he’d get hungry, sooner or later—sooner than later, even. He decided to leave the pancake untouched like that. He wouldn’t want the other boy to starve. He picked the plate up.

He looked away, before straightening himself and walking out of the kitchen. He decided go to Toya—it was his own room after all, and it’s not like the latter could protest against Akito wanting to be in his own room—and, he had to change.

Quietly, he made his way over to his door, where he pressed down on the handle and pushed the door open. He kept his footsteps soft as he stepped inside. 

His gaze immediately landed on the figure laying down on the ground. Toya was curled in on himself, facing away from Akito like this. A frown tugged on the ginger’s lips as he stepped a bit closer, peeking over at Toya’s face. He was asleep. 

Akito’s gaze softened the slightest bit as he looked at the blue-haired boy’s calm—or at least mostly calm face. There was a small crease on his forehead where his brows furrowed. Akito wished he could somehow make the worry and stress disappear from the sleeping boy. His hands itched by his sides to cover him with the blankets to stop the small shivers running through him, to somehow help him relax.

With two quiet steps he walked over in front of Toya, before kneeling down. He tilted his head slightly as he studied his expression. He looked even more gorgeous than in the picture. He set the leftover pancake down on the floor next to him.

He barely even acknowledged it as his now empty hand moved forward, pushing a bit of hair that fell over the sleeping boy’s face. He gently moved the strands behind his ear—

Toya’s eyes shot open, glassy, immediately locking on Akito. Akito’s own eyes widened and he stood up straight, his hands going to his sides and gripping at the edges of his shirt. He turned his face away, and, damn his burning cheeks. His expression turned into a mix between a scowl and panic.

A quiet sniffle from below made him look back at Toya. His gaze softened involuntarily as he watched the bluenette turn his face away, burying it in his pillow, hiding it from Akito.

The latter swallowed, turning his face away as well. He didn’t say anything, letting the silence stretch over the room. Finally, he moved his feet towards his closet, taking out some fresh clothes and moving towards the exit.

Right before the door, he turned to look at Toya’s laying frame. “…he’s in a coma.” He mumbled softly. He could see Toya’s hand twitch, but the blue-haired boy didn’t raise his head from the pillow. “…eat something later. I’m going for a run.”

Then, he left, going to take a shower. 

It was still morning when Akito left the apartment, the air a mix of last night coolness and the sun warming it up. Akito ran with the energy of someone who trained everyday, yet somehow got all his energy drained. His feet felt a bit more heavy than usual every time he lifted it off of the pavement, his expression even more unwelcoming than normally.

He barely paid attention to where his feet led him, lost in his own thoughts. His mind was running in circles even faster than himself as he inevitably sped up, without meaning to, his legs moving quicker without him even noticing. 

The fresh air helped clear his mind a little, but it didn’t do much to help figure out a solution to whatever the fuck was happening in his life. 

He didn’t even notice when the air started burning in his lungs , his feet beginning to feel sore from another lap. He barely even noticed the first drops of rain falling down on his head.

And the worst part is, he still couldn’t get Toya out of his head.

Akito cursed under his breath as he stared at the heavily falling drops in front of him.

He managed to hide under a roof of one of the stores around, though still getting his hair slightly wet in the process. He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, pushing a few strands sticking to his face out of his forehead. 

It was still a 15 minute jog back to his apartment, 10 minutes if he was quick; but only now did he actually pay attention to the ache in his feet. He’s been running around at a fairly fast pace for the past 40 minutes. He completely lost track of time.

Stuffing his hands in his pockets he turned to walk into the store. He’d grab something to drink and then, maybe the rain would pass by then. If it didn’t, he’d just manage through it. He wasn’t made of sugar to be scared of some water.

The rain didn’t stop. Akito sighed again, bringing the bottle of water to his lips and taking a few deep gulps. He crumbled the now almost empty bottle and threw it away with the last remnants of water inside. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

There wasn’t really anything else to do than just run home. It didn’t seem that the rain was planning to end any time soon, so he had no other choice than to suck it up. Starting to run again, Aktio decided to just ignore the water dripping down his cheeks and run back towards his apartment.

Towards him. 

By the time Akito got back to his place, he was absolutely soaked. Hair sticking to his cheeks, dripping down water down his neck, onto his collar and soaking his clothes. He didn’t want anything else in the world other than just take a warm shower and get in bed, just to warm up. But he still remembered about Toya, about the confrontation they had to have, and a small frown tugged at his lips at the thought that he’d have to wait with his rest for a little more. 

After taking off his shoes, he went straight towards the bathroom. All his clothes were quickly discarded to the floor as he stepped under the shower, the warm water causing a pleasant shiver to go down his spine. Most of the tension from his muscles relaxed under the warmth of the water pouring down his body, getting rid of the coldness of his skin and stress of his muscle.

After stepping out of the shower, warmed up and clean, he tossed his still soaked clothes to the basket with dirty laundry, drying himself off, before wrapping a towel over his hips as he made his way back over to his room. 

His eyes scanned the room, landing on the laying figure on the floor. The plate next to him was empty, the sight of a bit of pancake left in the corner of the blue-haired boy forming a soft smile on Akito’s lips. He forced it away. 

After dressing up, he studied the boy. This time he was certain the bluenette was asleep, his chest raising and falling steadily, with an occasional hitch. His eyes were puffy, wet traces on his cheeks glistened in the dull light coming from the window outside. He was crying earlier, Akito noted. That made the conversation later look like even worse idea. But at least they didn’t have to talk now.

His phone already fished out of his pocket, he wanted to lay back and just…do nothing for some time. He was drained, not only physically, and he couldn’t even imagine training anything at the moment. Especially with the other asleep. He wouldn’t want to wake him. 

Before flopping onto his bed though, he stopped by Toya again. Bending over, he tugged the blanket up to his shoulders. The floor was still cool and the slightly open window provided the room with fresh air, but also fairly cold temperature.

He told himself it didn’t mean anything as he gently, with his thumb, wiped the bit of pancake off of Toya’s cheek. His skin was soft under Akito’s. He wouldn’t mind touching it more, though he shook the thought away.