Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Evie, Elijah and Henry were at school, Thor and Jane had ’borrowed’ Alexis for the day, and Natasha was thankful for a day to rest.
She’d fallen asleep on the couch after a morning filled with nausea, sickness and dizziness.

Tony and Clint had both come home for lunch; on entering the floor Tony placed a blanket over Natasha while Clint made grilled cheese sandwiches.

“So Clint, I’ve been thinking...”

“That never ends well”

“When’s Tasha’s due date again?”

“Last week of September... Why?”

“I’ve been doing some math...”

“Right... Okay. And..?”

“You guys get a bit carried away at the New Years Eve party?”

“Tony”

“Only, I seem to remember the whole team being up all night that night... And then me you and Steve got called out to Guatemala for ten days after that”

“Righttt...”

“So the latest baby Barton had to be conceived at that party. It’s the only way the dates add up”

“You think too much”

“Well anyway, my point is; I seem to remember you and the spider disappearing for an hour”

“And?”

“And a certain locked closet..?”

Clint looked over to check Natasha was still asleep, the last thing him and Tony needed was Natasha to know they were discussing their sex life.

“Right okay, whatever; you caught us Tony. Well done. It was the first time we got some time alone since Alexis was born”

“Seriously? You were that desperate? Lexie was like, just over a month old!”

“And? Why, how long did you and Pepper wait after Oliver was born?”

“Let’s just say a while”

“Seriously?”

“Clinton Francis Barton are you seriously discussing our sex life with Tony Stark?”

The two men jumped slightly

“That depends... How long have you been awake?”

“Long enough!”

“So Nat, the closet eh?” Tony winked at her

“Stark, you know I can kill you with a paperclip right?”

“Don’t worry Widow; your secrets safe with me. Besides, Barton knows all about how Oliver was conceived on the floor of my lab”

“Stark; that is just too much information”

“Oh come on, you’re telling me you and Pepper don’t talk?”

“Oh, we talk”

The tone Natasha spoke in gave both men cause for concern.

“What- what about?”

Natasha just shrugged her shoulders, making both men more nervous.

Pepper appeared, cheerfully greeting the others and helping herself to coffee.

“Hey Pepper, we need to talk”

“Okay..?” she replied quizzically, following Natasha from the room after kissing Tony on the cheek, she noticed how Natasha completely avoided Clint, despite the fact he went to kiss her as she walked past.

“Barton, we should go hide”

“What? Why?”

“If you think Nats scary; you should see Pepper when shes angry!”

Suddenly they both heard Pepper walking back down the hallway; "Anthony Edward Stark!"