Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Smitty spent a few hours talking to John about anything that came up, video games, fashion, the world, anything, really. At first, Smitty wanted to come up with an excuse not to meet up with John, but Bryce was so persistent and optimistic about John that he didn’t want to ruin it, so he agreed. Turned out to be one of the best decisions Smitty has made since he genuinely enjoyed the others company. At first, he was suspicious about Bryce saying that John was one of his best friends but never seemed to talk about him, but all suspicions were blown away when Smitty opened his mouth and talked to another human outside of the internet. They had walked around a few stores, browsing various articles of clothing while also getting to know more and more about each other, as well as eating at some random burger joint. From what Smitty could tell, John was cocky and narcissistic, but not in the way that makes you want to punch them, but in the joking manner that made them seem really down to Earth and chill. Smitty liked that he didn’t have to bullshit anything.

They parted ways after lunch, John offering to pay because if he didn’t ‘Bryce would shun him.’ Smitty figured it would be better not to argue but threw down a ten dollar bill for a fraction of the bill - or for a tip -  when John wasn’t looking. Smitty didn’t realize he walked home grinning until his friend Nick - who was staying at his house for a few days - pointed it out. “Why you all giddy? Something happen? Or is it sugar?” He asked, playing Call of Duty on Smitty’s Xbox.

“None of your business,” Smitty said, childishly sticking out his tongue.

Nick gave Smitty a bitch face. “Right.”

Smitty walked into the kitchen and grabbed a small carton of milk out of one of the shelves and ran upstairs into his room. He had received a text from Bryce a few minutes ago and unlocked his phone. It was a Lenny face emoticon.

Smitty turned on his computer and sat down on the chair before texting a response.

Smorty

What?

Brycey Bear

So how did it go?

John seemed really happy when he came home

Smorty

It was alright

That wasn’t completely a lie but not the whole truth. Smitty genuinely enjoyed John’s company.

Brycey Bear

Whatever you say

Smitty left it at that.

Smitty received a game invite for Mario Kart from Ryan and he accepted after opening and taking a sip of his milk.

Smitty was invited to the discord chat, and instantly, people started yelling. Anthony was screaming about something that might’ve happened in a previous round.

“The Canadian’s here!” Scotty exclaimed.

“Y’all ready to eat ass?” Ryan asked, starting the tournament.

“Seriously, what’s with you and eating ass?” Smitty asked.

Ryan made an uncertain noise.

“New drinking game, take a shot every time Ryan talks about eating ass,” Anthony laughed.

“Sure, it might make you better at the game,” Ryan responded. Everyone laughed.

“Oh, fuck off,” Anthony sighed.

“Get ready to get wrecked, boys,” Smitty threatened.

After the game ended, David, Anthony, and Scotty were beyond pissed while Smitty and Ryan were laughing at their suffering because Ryan got second - with the help of Smitty - and Smitty got first. David kept saying that the only reason he lost was because his internet was bad. (It wasn’t.)

They parted ways after the tournament ended and Smitty left the call. He threw away the now empty milk carton and headed downstairs to get something to eat. He heard Nick screaming about something but paid no attention to it. The day has gotten rather uneventful after Smitty got home. Apart from Nick occasionally screaming, his house was rather quiet. Smitty doesn't mind the silence, in fact, he prefers it. It's one of the only times Smitty can think without any outside noises interrupting, for better or worse. It was getting darker outside, and soon, there would just be complete silence, where Smitty could be alone with himself, and his mind. Smitty opened the refrigerator and pulled out a plate of leftover pasta from yesterday and put it in the microwave to heat up for a couple of minutes.

When the microwave stopped and rang, Nick walked into the kitchen and grabbed some plates and forks, setting them down on the dinner table on the other side of the kitchen. Smitty had spaced out. “You’re dropping again,” Nick said. 

Smitty snapped back into reality, glanced at him and took out the pasta from the microwave. “What do you mean?” Smitty asked, bringing the pasta over to the table.

“Don’t think I don’t know the signs of depression,” Nick said. When he walked into the kitchen he noticed that Smitty seemed uninterested in everything, just blankly staring at things while mindlessly doing tasks.

‘Right. His girlfriend.’ Smitty didn’t say anything.

“Don’t make me force you to go to therapy. I don’t want to see you through that shit again.”

“I’m fine.”

“No you’re not,” Nick persisted.

“You think you’re so great and innocent? Don’t think I don’t remember that hitman you hired to fuck up your girlfriend’s assaulter.”

Smitty regretted the words that came out of his mouth the second Nick’s expression fell and darkened. “I did what I had to do.”

“It wasn’t necessary.”

“It was in my eyes.”

“It was excessive.”

They stared each other down for a few seconds, Smitty’s mind screamed at him to stand down, to run and hide and forget the world.

“I’ll say it again, you need help,” Nicks tone was firm.

“I’m fine,” Smitty said once more, scooping some pasta onto his plate.

“Don’t fucking pull that shit with me!” Nick yelled.

“I’m fucking fine!” Smitty snapped. He stomped out of the dining room and up the stairs into his room, slamming the door shut. He set down his plate on his desk and sat down, taking long deep breaths.

I'm breaking at the seams, but I’ll handle it. I have for this long,’ he thought. He aimlessly pushed around some of the pasta and stared at a worn out photo next to his monitor. It was a picture of him and three of his friends, Cody, Garrett, and Tim, frozen at one point in time. They were at a park one afternoon, screwing around with nerf guns and swords, all hyper and tired, grinning at the camera. Smitty would never forget the day he got a call from Cody’s mom, crying uncontrollably, saying they were all killed. Ten years later, and Smitty still remembered every word Cody’s mother said to him. His best friends at the time, all dead, because some asshole shot them all in the head. Smitty didn't feel hungry anymore.