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Chapter Text

As You Are

"Because in the end, the heart always governs the will, and every man will lay himself down right before the very eyes of a brewing storm.”

A/N: This story is born out of a headcanon idea I had shared with zethamsel05 (who had been kind & provided the story's summary!) which explores an alternative take to Mikasa’s newly discovered lineage descended from a shogun’s bloodline in Hizuru, East Sea and a ‘what if’ repercussion on her future. A story featuring an SnK alternative pairing, Reiner Braun & Mikasa Ackerman.

Some helpful terminologies that are included in this chapter :

• Irezumi - traditional Japanese tattoos;
• Horishi - traditional tattoo artist;
• Geta - Japanese wooden sandals, usually worn with a tabi (white socks); and
• Furisode - a style of kimono, distinguishable by its wide sleeves and usually worn by an unmarried woman in Japan.
• Montsuki - a Japanese traditional wedding attire for the groom which is comprised of kimono, hakama and haori.

(If you're reading this story for the first time, it is highly recommended that you check out its prequel, "Maria" first!)

Rhythmic Muse: Come As You Are (Cover) by Prep School & Marry Me, Bella by The City of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra 

Please enjoy my heartfelt tribute to this rarepair OTP of mine, ReiKasa.

Come as you are, as you were
As I want you to be
As a friend, as a friend
As a known enemy

Take your time, hurry up
The choice is yours, don't be late
Take a rest as a friend
As an old

Memoria, memoria
Memoria, memoria

And I swear that I don't have a gun
No, I don't have a gun
No, I don't have a gun
~

Come As You Are (Cover) - Prep School

(Cover Art made by the beautiful & talented Nadia Aisyah)

ACT I: ASHES ON THE FIRE

Chapter One

Old Memoria

2 days after the attack on Marley

Low voices conversing of a rather discreet matter could be heard coming from the medium-sized room belonging to the fourteenth commander of the Survey Corps. Two tall males dressed in finely-tailored suits and matching dark fedoras could be seen standing vigil outside the double wooden door, guarding the private discussion happening within. The two guards have become regular faces these recent years ever since Paradis opened its port and welcomed their very first foreign visitors, the ambassador of one of the most powerful nations in the world - Hizuru.

Inside the now permanent dwelling of Commander Zoe Hange, there were two more visitors taking their seats on the opposite side of the big writing table, carved from the finest oak tree in Paradis.

Kiyomi Azumabito of the last shogunate bloodline in Hizuru was one of them while the other was her long-lost kin, the youngest blood of the infamous Ackerman clan and Azumabito family combined and Hange’s very own prized soldier, after Levi Ackerman himself. The finest prodigy the Military has ever seen, the one lauded as the woman worth a hundred soldiers, if not more. Mikasa Ackerman’s face was a mask of calm facade as she became the silent third party observer of the conversation between the two older women with authority.

Hange’s lens glistened in the dim light of the lantern next to her, signifying a possible move she could make on an otherwise complicated global-scale political chess game where there were not only two but three forces battling on the checkerboard.

Paradis, Hizuru and the latter’s ally which was also the former’s enemy, Marley.

Slight hint of exhaustion evident on her only visible eye. A long sigh escaped her chapped lips in a quick drought. Chess was never Hange’s favorite. It was more of Erwin’s.

The sudden remembrance of her dearly departed superior struck an ache inside her heart - like a bleeding scar on a wound she thought had healed through time.

Furthermore, the unintentionally provoking conversation she had with Eren yesterday had only made her feel shittier than she could ever feel at that moment.

Boy, Levi would've had a field day laughing his arse off if it wasn't due to the threat posed by the loose cannons in their current detainment - the Jeager brothers. It was also very fortunate that Levi was away in the forest of giant trees, having the older Jeager brother under his constant surveillance at all times. Hange could bet her other eye that Levi would not be too keen if he ever found out about the subject matter of this discussion.

It was not an easy task. God knows how many sleepless nights she spent literally burning the midnight oil, trying to understand more of their enemies across the seas just so she could offer a much safer solution to the crisis erupted after Eren Jeager’s indirect acceptance to Willy Tybur’s official declaration of a world war against Paradis Island.

What would you have done, Erwin?

Kiyomi cleared her throat before continuing, “Madam Commander, as mentioned earlier, in order for Paradis to fulfill the three options we proposed three years ago, Hizuru could lend further assistance in a more pivotal role. I know I have reported our previous failure in rallying the support of the other major world forces but as far as we are concerned, Marley is still in the dark of our alliance, so this will work to our advantage.”

“If I could preempt the direction of this discussion, are you suggesting that Hizuru have a threeway with Paradis AND Marley?” Hange just couldn't help throwing the implication out crudely, to which Kiyomi gave a questionable smile in return.

“Marley’s recent declaration of war towards Eren Jeager, have definitely slapped the Marley higher-ups in their faces. They might believe that they have the support of the other powerful nations in the world but Mr. Jeager’s unexpected attack, along with Mr. Arlert’s contingency plan had not only wiped out Marley’s ships but also their entire naval fleet. Based on the recent report from our insider still stationed there, the Marley government is in chaos, the deaths of their high-ranking officers left their government running loose like headless chickens. The once mighty giant has fallen. They are desperate, Madam Commander.” Kiyomi took a sip of herbal tea from the ceramic cup in front of her as she locked gaze with Hange from across the table. The brown-haired military woman, nodded for the older East Sea ambassador to continue with her proposal.

“The other big nations of the world are currently terrified. It took one Titan to wreak havoc in Marley. They wouldn't want to take that chance. However, if Marley decides to enlist emergency military reinforcements from these nations, they would not hesitate to step in. Therefore, I think it’s crucial for us to take this opportunity to swoop in to be the first to present Marley an offer they could not refuse and in return, both Hizuru and Paradis will benefit from this agreement.”

“Would you mind sharing the details of these 'benefits’ you mentioned?”

“Marley requires emergency reinforcements, resources, and naval ships. Hizuru will provide all of them through this alliance BUT only if Marley could give us something very crucial in return.”

Hange smirked. During their very first meeting, Kiyomi had been very nonchalant in expressing Hizuru's desire to monopolize all the iceburst stone export from Paradis in an exclusive trading arrangement.

What could Marley possibly offer that Hizuru couldn't wait to get their hands on?

“Until three years ago, I honestly believed that I was the last generation of my family. I believed that when I die, the blood of our ancestors, Lord Azumabito’s lineage will too disappear within the depths of my graveyard. Miss Mikasa….,” Kiyomi turned her head towards her younger kin. “Remember when I told you that you are the hope and fruit of our nation? You would be the spark that will ignite the fires of Hizuru and bring glory once again to our family name through this union.”

Hange’s visible eye widened with sheer surprise. “Wait, Miss Kiyomi, are you seriously thinking of offering one of our strongest soldiers, your very own relative on a silver platter, to Marley?!”

“Only if Miss Mikasa decides on it. I have tried to plea to the other nations to open their eyes and minds to Paradis’ peaceful existence before this but it was futile. But if she were to return to Hizuru, perhaps she could finally be the voice of reason for both Paradis and Hizuru in the eyes of the world.”

“But, what does it have to do with Marley?”, remarked Mikasa in response, trying to, at the very least understanding the older East Sea woman’s notion before jumping the gun unnecessarily.

“Well my dear, Marley is in dire need of resources for rebuilding the aftermath left by Mr. Jeager, reinforcements due to the Colossal Titan’s transformation and naval fleets for their defense, which Hizuru would provide in exchange for heirs to continue the Azumabito lineage. We give them reinforcements on our terms, we will keep their powers in check and they will ensure a continuation for our family’s future.”

Both Mikasa and Hange exchanged a mutual look of disbelief with each other after reaching the same conclusion in their heads. Hange wasted no time in making her concerns known. “You’re treading dangerous waters here, Miss Kiyomi. You’re not seriously thinking of turning another one of our girls into a broodmare?! Haven't the Queen suffered enough?”

“All of us have no control over our bloodlines, Madam Commander. Like the curse of Ymir, the Azumabito family has always been burdened with a truly heavy responsibility on our shoulders. However, in the end, everything depends on Miss Mikasa's decision.”

“You’re putting Mikasa in danger beyond enemy territory. On her own. Moreover, Marley is not gonna be really keen on this idea. May I remind you that we currently have two of their children under our detainment?”

“Miss Mikasa could offer to negotiate the release of the prisoners as an added value to this alliance. Rest assured, Madam Commander, Miss Mikasa will have constant protection with her at all times.” Kiyomi’s eyes shot a quick glance towards the door, reminding Hange of her own security details just outside the room.

“I mean why now, why didn't you mention anything about this suggestion 3 years ago?”

“Our nation frowns upon unconsented child brides. Miss Mikasa was only 16 years old at that time and wouldn't be capable yet of sound judgment on a big decision like this. We are not animals, Madam Commander.”

“What do you think of all of this, Mikasa?”, asked Hange towards the young girl in question.

Her hands instantaneously landed on the worn out, coarse crimson fabric around her neck in a tight grip. She should decline this ridiculous idea. She should've just said NO.

Well, that was what her lips wanted to say but her heart seemed to have reservations of its own. "I-....may I please talk to Eren and Armin first before I decide?”

“Of course.”

“Miss Mikasa, I could not stress how much of an impact and difference you could make if you return to Hizuru. You could save not just Mr. Jeager, Mr. Arlert, Queen Historia, but also all the Eldian race especially the ones you care about. However, I believe it’s truly best if Mr. Jeager is spared the knowledge of this discussion.”

“Mikasa, please be careful,” Hange agreed, “Do not divulge too much of the nature of our discussion here to not just Eren, given his current state of mind, but also to the others as well. If we plan this carefully, you could be offering another much-needed alternative to restoring peace again to not only for your people in Hizuru but to the Eldian race all over the world - both in Paradis and Marley.”

She continued, “Paradis needs fifty years that we don't have and you could be the one who buys the time that Paradis needs. The key to the eternal liberation of all Eldians exists within the heirs of our throne and the future children you would bear from this alliance, Mikasa.”

The young loyal soldier nodded weakly in return. At times like these, she would’ve had Sasha to confide in, but it only made her feel lonelier than ever now that she was gone. The best friend and sister she never had. Whose cold, lifeless body she had to bury only the day before. Sasha, who died at the hands of a military-trained child who obviously didn't know any better.

When will this ruthless cycle of bloodshed ever stop?

How many more innocent humans have to be sacrificed because of circumstances not due to their own decision or control?

How many more innocent children had to be conceived and born for the sake of shouldering a burden only their bloodline carries?

“You’ve done so much, so much for everyone, Eren. Please don't say you’ve done nothing.” Her gentle voice resonated against the walls of the underground cell, trying to calm her childhood friend, her family and the one person whom she still holds high above others.

“Why can’t anyone understand that every single fucking thing that I’ve done are for Paradis?!” The words that came from the most feared Titan shifter burnt with a bitterness so strong, it would’ve cut through the steel bars separating him from the rest of the world.

Separating him from everyone who cared about him.

Separating him from them.

Separating him from her.

“I’m sorry….”

“What are you even sorry for, Mikasa? That word’s been thrown around lightly everywhere nowadays it literally means nothing to me.”

“Eren…” Armin’s voice drawled dangerously low, his tone rigid and guarded.

Mikasa let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry that you’ve been fighting so hard for peace and you still feel that it is never enough. You’ve been gone away for so long, we thought you might never come back.”

“I have to keep fighting for all of us. For peace. No matter what I do, it’ll never be enough. I could not stop until I have fulfilled the destiny I was born into.”

The raven-haired girl’s grey eyes darkened with a painful gleam. “Do you no longer care about Historia's safety?”

She received a sharper glare in return. “What is with you & Hange?? Do I NOT care about Historia's safety?” Eren struggled to utter the words in between a scoff and a burst of sarcastic laughter. There was a sharp intake of breath before he continued, “She was the fucking reason why I left for Marley, Mikasa! So I could guarantee HER safety.”

“And when you did, did it even remotely occur to you that you might have shifted the course of our doomsday even sooner than we thought? It’s only a matter of time before the other nations rally together to send hell to this island the way it happened nine years ago?!”

Her unexpectedly harsh words sent a jolt of tremors along Eren’s hands as they shook against the steel bars of his holding cell.

His dark emerald eyes steeled in a solid resolve. “I will take them all. Until none of them lives.”

“You cannot be reckless anymore, Eren. This is no longer your fight alone. Please think of Historia and her unborn child’s safety.”

“Mikasa...I’m….”

Armin interjected, “We have known a long time ago about your feelings for Historia. Only an idiot wouldn’t be able to see that she held the same feelings in her eyes for you, Eren. About the child...Mikasa and I, we do have our suspicions on the nature of your relationship with the child she’s due to give birth to anytime soon…... “

Eren’s silence and the way he hid his gaze away from his own childhood friend and family, only confirmed nothing but the truth.

He was the real father of the child Historia is carrying.

What an irony it was. The person who had been truly against the idea of Historia being forced to have children to continue her lineage had been the very same person who was responsible for it.

Historia’s relationship with her childhood acquaintance had been nothing but a ruse, a red herring to deceive the public eyes from the real parentage of the soon to be born heir to the throne of Paradis.

As always, he didn't need to use words to rip her emotions. His wordless blank stare had already done a significantly terrific job in throwing away any remnants of feelings left behind in her beating heart: Love.

She loved Eren. She would brave the ends of the world for him. She would even die for him. She would run to hell and back for his sake. She would do it again and again but that would never change a significant fact: Eren will always keep moving further and further away from her. The recent attack on Liberio which was responsible in claiming hundreds of innocent lives - women and children specifically - had been the lid that seals the coffin.

What was in that coffin, one might ask?

It would be none other than her heart and her undying devotion towards the Titan shifter. Her family and the unattainable love of her life.

He was no longer the nine-year-old boy who she knew more than a decade ago. Whom she fell so deeply in love with.

“I could only hope that you’ll be the one to tell us about it.” She stated in a matter-of-fact tone, her composed expression concealing the pain that she kept buried at the back of her mind and heart so well.

Say something, Eren. Give me one last reason to stay.

Love would make you do unthinkable things.

Love would also mean you would do whatever it takes to take away their pain and their suffering.

Love would also mean that you would do anything for their happiness, no matter how short-lived it would be, even if it is at the expense of your own.

Love would also mean protecting the people they love and care for. Even if it’s not you.

Mikasa looked up towards both of her childhood friends while restraining the beads of unshed tears on her heavy eyelids. “Armin, Eren, I know I don’t say this enough but thank you for everything.”

Loving someone is to let them go.

10 days after the attack on Marley

It has been seven painful lonely days since she secretly boarded the unidentified ship en route to Hizuru, leaving everyone she had grown to care for and love back in Paradis, even her only remaining relative from her father’s Ackerman bloodline, without so much as a goodbye. She left her birth land with nothing but the dress on her body, the worn-out dark red scarf around her dainty neck and a medium-sized crate from Hange - an early wedding present. Her concealed departure was sent off by a hug from her Commander, a whispered ‘thank you’, a strong reminder to be brave like the soldier she has always been and a firm reassurance that the journey she would be undertaking is for Eren’s safety and the future of Queen Historia, her unborn child and all of the Eldian race.

Her father came from a long line of royal protectors loyal to the throne, it was in her blood to shoulder the responsibility to protect the Queen and her descendants. Just like Queen Historia, the circumstance of her birth holds a very significant existence that could destroy or save countless lives. By returning to her mother’s ancestor’s land as the last generation of the great Shogun, she will carry a much heavier task. Like a tiny pebble cast into a calm lake, it would cause the first ripple that will eventually shake the body of water in its aftermath.

She responded to Hange’s parting words with a salute dedicating her heart to humanity, her final gesture as a soldier of Paradis Island’s Survey Corps military division.

From the day she stepped on the soils of the East Sea country, her homeland, it has been a string of continuous meetings, functions, events and even a small conference introducing her as the long-lost heir of the great and honorable Azumabito family. She was not used to the constant wardrobe changes and the fact that she had to shake many pairs of hands and said more than what she was accustomed to in a day of her whole entire life, it was almost enough to send her to a breaking point if it wasn’t for Madam Kiyomi’s timely intervention.

She drew a long breath into her lungs. The small action reminded her of the pain on her back, a lingering reminder of the prickly ends of the Horishi’s steel needles etching the irezumi of the Azumabito’s three blades on her skin. She volunteered to go through the process three days before the wedding, partly because she wanted a bigger reminder of the Azumabito blood flowing through her body and will soon flow through her future unborn children.

The sounds of raucous laughter & loud voices caught in conversation could be heard from the distance, pulling her back to her current reality. Given the circumstances, regardless of the political strain the two nations were involved in, just like deaths, weddings do bring people together. They could turn even the most bitter of enemies to the chummiest of friends all courtesy of the seemingly never-ending flow of liquored drinks. However, she could definitely be wrong.

Who’d knew that the very first wedding she ever attended would be her very own?

If this was another reality, she would've wanted her only best friend, the closest person she would have to a sister, right here next to her when she needed her the most. Sasha would've made a really loud but caring maid of honor. She would've made relentless remarks in barging straight for the wedding delicacies on the banquet tables or racing against both Jean and Connie for the available drinks. She would've teased Mikasa endlessly about tripping on the train of her bridal kimono or her wooden geta. She would've told Mikasa that everything will be alright and that she is finally home with her real blood family in Hizuru. She would’ve made a promise to shoot the lights out of Mikasa’s groom if he ever dared to disrespect her in any way.

Sasha was the one who was supposed to be married first, not her. She was not supposed to be gone too soon, not before her.

Mikasa immediately rubbed away at the stubborn droplet of tears that managed to leak from the corners of her eyes as she was suddenly reminded of the last long conversation she had shared with her sworn sister. Of the laughter that they shared and promises made - exactly five days before the retrieval in Liberio. 

“Who knows, we might just have a double wedding in the near future. Just imagine: both of us marrying men from Marley? That’s surreal!”

She could still feel the excitement in Sasha's voice and the warmth in her reassurance. The pain of shattered dreams; ones that they'll never be able to see through together when she had to bury Sasha's cold, lifeless body immediately as soon as they landed in Paradis.

Even though she would be marrying a stranger, a part of her felt that she could brave this enough for Sasha's sake. She would try to seek for the happiness that Sasha so deserved yet never got to realize, on her behalf.

If her mother was here, Mikasa imagined the older woman would fuss over her dress and the way the handmaidens should style her hair. Mrs. Ackerman would have told her what was to be expected of her by her new husband - loyalty and obedience without compromising her honor. She would've reassured Mikasa that her new husband would be gentle with her on their wedding night. She would've told her that her new husband will take good care of her, and make her happy in time like Mikasa's own father did with her.

Oh her father, if he was there, she hoped he would be proud of the young woman Mikasa had become. Mr. Ackerman would have shed tears of happiness at his only daughter's wedding, after making sure it was what she would've wanted. He would have held her hand tightly in his as he walked her down the aisle. He would've promised he would set his new son-in-law straight if he so much hurt his daughter’s feelings.

Except that none of them were alive anymore.

Sasha, Mama, and Papa were gone and only existed in her memories now.

“Lady Mikasa, you're truly breathtaking but it's a shame we have to cover your face with the veil,” moaned one of the handmaidens - no, HER handmaidens, fussing over the almost see-through muslin fabric with lace trimmings against her face. She still found it difficult to grasp at the fact she now has the luxury of her own ladies in waiting. Until a week ago, she was only but a military member serving the Queen within the walls of Paradis Island.

Yet four of them would not be able to replace Sasha.

Akane, the same handmaiden from before, the one with the long braided hair and always a sunny expression on her face, lowered her face next to hers. “Even with your face covered, your unusual grey eyes will capture his soul. Your new husband will fall in love with you at first sight, milady.”

The other three cooed in agreement.

“Lady Kiyomi didn't allow us to say this, but we did catch a glance at your groom earlier when their entourage arrived at the castle gates, Lady Mikasa. He’s as handsome as the knights we see in the history books, his hair as shiny as the golden sun. I bet he would look even dashing when he changes into his montsuki.”

The beautiful white silk adorned with matching intricate embroidery of beautiful pink camellias felt suffocating on her form. She pretty much preferred a simple furisode than this ceremonial garb. Instead of the traditional tsuno-kakushi, a paper headdress most brides wore in Hizuru, Mikasa preferred to keep her jewelry to the minimum with only a web of pearl tiara on top of her short midnight color tresses instead. She even refused for her natural face to be made up, to be concerned with any forms of aesthetic, not even a tiny dab of crushed coral powder on her pale cheeks except for a simple line of kohl outlining her already significant eyes.

This was not the wedding she envisioned when she was younger. This was not the wedding of her dreams and the groom was not a man that she had ever met, let alone care for.

Being tied to the groom would also guarantee the probability of her crossing paths with her enemies across the seas again.

Mikasa was not spared of any details regarding the man she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with other than a rather vague description by the matriarch of the Azumabito family, ‘Although he is an Eldian, he is a man respected for his valor due to his service and loyalty to Marley. A prime candidate for an honorable husband.’

The Marley government was not to be taken lightly either. Even after suffering a huge blow to their military defense, they wouldn’t simply be accepting an opportunistic offer from Hizuru without a fail-safe of their own. Of course, they would offer an Eldian man as her husband. Her future children would have Eldian blood and they would not be spared from the Curse of Ymir if she changes her mind halfway and refuses to carry her current mission until the end.

There was a gentle rapping against the shoji door right before it was held open by Hana, another one of her handmaidens, the quiet one with the two low pigtails.

At the opening of the door, it was Madam Kiyomi’s own bodyguards, dressed in traditional Hizuru ceremonial attires instead of their usual suits, trench coats, and hats.

Both of them bowed to her simultaneously. “Lady Mikasa, it’s time.”

The young raven-haired girl let out a long breathe she had been holding.

From a birdcage to another.

Next chapter:

An announcement throws a wrench into his plan in executing a covert rescue mission for Gabi and Falco's retrieval from Paradis.

Old enemies reunite in an unwanted lifelong union, at least until his very last breath that would sooner come before hers.

A/N: For you guys who read this story, I can’t thank you enough for your kind time. Honestly, only curious SnK/AoT fans would be lurking in the Mikasa Ackerman/Reiner Braun tag XD If you’d like to share your thoughts or love for this super rare pairing, please do drop me a message on Tumblr!

See you in the next chapter!

xoxo,

NightDuchess

44561b68ff51f6741b9bfdb7062d53c0 I'm serializing this work on Webnovel. Head over to Webnovel for the other chapter updates! https://www.webnovel.com

Chapter Text

A/N: For you who are reading this, I can’t thank you enough for reading, liking & even went out of your way to leave As you Are with wonderful, supportive reviews and even bookmarks. I do know that some fans stumbled upon this story by chance but the continuous interest motivates me to keep working on As You Are until the very end.

Please enjoy this latest chapter! It’s a bit lengthy though since I want to explore the detailing of the wedding progression. One thing’s for sure: shit is about to get down. Or not haha. Rating is slowly changed to M due to profanities. For now ;)

Some helpful terminologies that are included in this chapter :

• Montsuki - a Japanese traditional wedding attire for the groom which is comprised of kimono, hakama and haori;
• Haori - a traditional Japanese hip- or thigh-length kimono-style jacket, worn over a kosode
• Hakama - loose trousers with many pleats in the front, forming part of Japanese formal dress.
• San san kudo - a formal and ritualized drinking of a small amount of sake which is a ceremony of binding. (it is simplified for the purpose of this fiction)
• Sakazuki - a part of a sake set which is a flat saucer-like cup

Look at me, my depth perception must be off again

'Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did

It has not healed with time

It just shot down my spine

You look so beautiful tonight

Remind me how you laid us down

And gently smiled before you destroyed my life

Would you find it in your heart?

To make this go away

And let me rest in pieces (Let me rest in pieces)

~

Rest In Pieces - Saliva

Chapter Two
Beautiful in White

4 days after the attack on Liberio & World War Declaration on Paradis

Only two days after the remaining Warriors’ post-mortem meeting on the assault towards Liberio, they were summoned again by Commander Magath with an immediate sense of urgency. Within three days, the military finally received the confirmed devastating number of deaths caused by the Colossal Titan’s transformation blast up the coastal area north of Marley, the Attack and Founding Titan’s ambush in central Liberio, all with the support of the Survey Corps of Paradis Island. There had been 1,594 confirmed deaths after the tragedy that befalls Liberio following Willy Tybur's declaration of World War against the Devil's island.

Yet, it was still not as many as the thousands of lives lost on the day our Warriors breached Wall Maria nine years ago.

That voice deep inside Reiner’s brain chided at his attempt of masking a sense of indifference.

They too lost not one but two Titans of their own - the Beast Titan due to Zeke’s defection to their enemy's side and the Warhammer Titan. The attack decimated the whole Tybur family, including Lord Willy Tybur's sister, the former holder of the Warhammer Titan which was now in Eren Jaeger's possession.

Reiner remained calm as he settled next to the Cart Titan's holder, Pieck on one side of the discussion table. He was really devastated when the exact number of casualties were reported but the only thing on his mind right now was just how soon he can launch a rescue mission to Paradis in order to bring Gabi and Falco home from beyond enemy lines. The idea was shot down by Magath two days ago but maybe, just maybe if he mentioned it again today, Magath would have had a change of mind.

The small meeting room was only big enough to hold a medium-sized table where the Warriors were seated in the same arrangement two days before. It didn't escape their attention that there seemed to be an extra chair on the other head of the table, prompting Porco to point it out to Magath.

“We’re expecting a guest, Commander?”

“Yes, but we will worry about that later.”

Reiner ran a hand through his hair in frustration as he pleaded, “Magath, please, the longer we delay this rescue mission, the higher the chance that Gabi and Falco will be dead.”

His immediate superior shook his head. “Reiner, look around you and outside the windows. We have no resources to be salvaged, piles of bodies to be buried and extracted from the rubbles. As much as I want to give you the sanction for this mission, our duties as Warriors are to clean and rebuild Liberio and extend humanitarian relief. Just because all of our families, fortunately, survived the assault, the aftermath is affecting our economy and morale. Gabi and Falco are important but they are not our priority at the moment. If Gabi is anything like you, Reiner, she would be able to survive on Paradis for one more week as you did nine years ago.”

Reiner’s thin, pale lips tightened in a straight line. He averted his gaze to the nearest window next to him as if indirectly holding everything out there responsible for Magath’s indecisive stance against his young cousin's rescue.

“Listen carefully, none of the higher officials survived Eren Jaeger's assault. You’d think the other nations are ready to be at our beck and call for help right now? I’m afraid not. Our discussion may not be monitored right now but here is where the opportunity presents itself for us to slowly take over the military governance by the main government. As of today, due to Zeke's treason, Reiner is the new Warchief effective immediately and this decision received the support from the current proxy government officials.”

All of the Warriors stared at each other upon the sudden news by their immediate superior before all eyes instantaneously landed on Reiner, whose eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his sockets.

He was as shocked as everyone else. He did not see that coming. The younger him would be gloating and basking in his fresh promotion but now, he couldn't even bring himself to feel the slightest content. It was indeed one of the things he has on his bucket list yet checking it off no longer has the sense of fulfilment he’d been seeking for in his life.

Magath continued, “Although it is a cause of celebration, it has to be on the back burner for now. Now, onto the next order of business.” He fished out a thin set of papers with an elaborate symbol consisting of a circle overlapped with three blades forming a triangle on top of the front page, with strong cursive penmanship of its title: Private & Confidential Press Circular. From the royal Azumabito Family of Hizuru, East Sea. For The Eyes Of The Following Recipient: Commander Magath of Liberio, Marley.

Their immediate superior flipped the customized press kit open, tearing away the wax seal of the royal family in the process and began to read its contents out loud.

“To our treasured ally, the house of Azumabito sends our deepest condolences and sympathy for the recent tragedy that struck Liberio. Rest assured that Hizuru will always hear your plight for assistance and support.”

“In the light of events, the Hizuru empire is very pleased to share the news of the recent discovery of the long-lost descendant of Lord Azumabito, making her the last generation of the great ancient shogunate that was responsible for Hizuru's prosperity, wealth and strong international alliances. Her young Highness's recent coronation will prove to be a blessing that will guide our nation during its darkest times.”

“The young Highness, whose name will remain undisclosed for security measures, openly expressed her regrets on Marley’s time of crisis and wishes to extend her intentions to lend a needed helping hand to the victims.”

“Rich in tradition, the Hizuru empire honours the long-standing alliance with the Marley government. Our representative would be present to personally relay our humble assistance and the conditions.”

Porco huffed in response. “As always, everyone wants something in return for a little help.”

Pieck hushed her longtime friend’s words, expressing her disappointment. “Porco, we should listen before we decide. The Commander is right. We have no resources to rebuild, let alone for defence. We’re vulnerable right now. In fact, I don't think we even have anything to offer Hizuru in return.”

“The Miss is right, officers.” A low, hardened voice interrupted their discussion. An older pale man, dressed in a dark blue plain suit stood tall against the doorway. His aged but muscular form approached the centre of the room where the Warriors were seated. The manner in which he greeted the younger Warriors with a small, respectful bow and his very distinctive facial feature could only confirm that the new visitor came all the way from the country in the East Sea. His steadfast, solid figure and the gold military emblems, as well as symbolical insignias adorning his suit, would only reinforce his extremely high position in a well-respected army battalion.

“Pardon for coming in unannounced, Warriors of Marley. I'm just an old man who's trying to be relevant again in the current days.” A low chuckle accompanied his good-natured, unguarded voice.

All the younger officers stood up in respect to the newcomer's presence and responded with Marley's military salute. Even Porco, who was initially wary showed a sense of respect for his gesture.

“Warriors,” Magath broke the ensuing short silence, “this is Admiral Tadaoki Hosokawa, the greatest leader of the mighty naval fleet from Hizuru. One of the East Sea's best veterans.”

Reiner had a starstruck look on his face. Admiral Hosokawa was a legend he had heard so often way even before his younger self enlisted into the Marley Warrior recruitment program. Rumoured to be a descendant of the great naval figure in history, Mori Motonari, Hosokawa was like an ancient warrior whispered among aspiring young soldiers even amongst those across the seas.

“Your Excellency, may I introduce you to one of our best assets, Marley’s new War Chief, Reiner Braun. His proven experience on the battlefield and his loyalty to our government make him the best strategist we have.”

“Magath, there’s no need for formalities. Haven’t we been longtime friends?” Hosokawa laughed before turning his attention to Reiner. “I have heard of the tragedy that had claimed the life of your previous War Chief, Zeke. Although I’ve seen you in battle, young man. You are the holder of the Armored Titan, aren’t you? You are very impressive. That is why we would never make ourselves one of your enemies. At least, not for long.”

Reiner accepted the hand Hosokawa extended, his face brimming with indescribable pride and honour. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that he would be complemented by a legend.

Hosokawa seated himself on the empty chair, resting his arms on the table and leaning his face against his clasped hands. After addressing Porco, Pieck and Colt, he began his introduction.

“Madam Kiyomi Azumabito sends her personal condolences on the recent tragedy that has befallen Liberio. I believe you have been made aware of the contents of the royal Azumabito family's press release. The Hizuru empire realizes the need for us to come together during these trying times and therefore, is very keen to reinforce our existing alliance with welfare assistance for the survivors and victims’ families, emergency resources for the rebuilding and reconstruction of  civilians’ homes and temporary sea, land and air military defence in exchange for an eligible young man from Marley, preferably from Liberio to join our newly coronated princess in holy matrimony in six days time.”

Magath shook his head in disbelief. “I’m sorry, I must have misheard you, Lord Hosokawa. In exchange for all the assistance, Hizuru requires a man to become the princess’ husband? Like, any man?”

“Preferably someone around her young Highness’ age, she is turning twenty years old in four moons after all.”

The other three younger men were already giving each other looks of confusion as if Admiral Hosokawa had just lost his grip on his sanity.

The older man continued, “Hizuru has always been a good supporter of the old Eldian empire, an Eldian from Liberio would be a preferable candidate. It will prove to the other nations that Marley and Hizuru are united and this alliance will be carried on by the future descendants of the princess and her Eldian consort.”

“The terms and conditions of our proposal are as the following. When an agreement has been reached today and a candidate has been chosen, the first wave of emergency resources such as medical and edible supplies will be arriving from Hizuru by sunrise tomorrow at the south coastal area that is unaffected by the attack.”

“Secondly, after a successful wedding procession in six days' time, Hizuru will be providing lumber, masonry and the resources necessary to fix all damaged homes and reconstruct main buildings that were destroyed by the attack as well as contributing to the building of a new shelter for children and women who were affected with the loss on the seventh day from now. The princess herself personally insisted on this second phase. She is indeed a strong advocate for orphans and widows affected by wars. On top of that, a group of military aid teams consisting of 200 trained soldiers will instantaneously be under Marley's command.”

Hosokawa continued, “Thirdly, the final and ongoing phase would be the birth of the firstborn child and the consecutive children hereafter. Upon the conception of the first child, Hizuru will provide partial temporary defence on land, air and seas. Full military artilleries and land soldiers will be transferred into Marley’s permanent ownership upon the successful birth of the first son, who will carry the Azumabito family name. The reason for this is, that the Princess is the last descendant of the great noble bloodline of the royal ancestry, which we have extremely high hopes to preserve and continue. It is a part of our culture, tradition and identity.”

Magath asked, “But, Admiral, what if the consort happens to be infertile?”

“After 12 months, should the princess be displeased or no conception has occurred, the Hizuru empire deserves the right to reassign another Eldian of an equivalent rank to be the princess’ next consort. However, I must assure you that the longer it takes for an heir to be born, Marley would also be vulnerable and open to any other attacks during that period.”

The only woman present inside the room shook her head in disbelief. Pieck hasn't even met the royal figure yet but she was already harbouring sympathy for the princess, who happened to be the same age as she is. No woman deserved to be treated like a human factory whose purpose was only to breed and raise children to further a nation's political agendas.

Porco nonchalantly asked, “Is the princess beautiful?”, causing Pieck to hush him, in fear of upsetting the Admiral.

However, on the contrary, and much to everyone's surprise, Hosokawa let out a hearty chuckle and a rather cryptic response. “Young man, I could personally vouch for the Princess’ beauty and strength in person. If it wasn't more important for our alliance and if all of my sons were not already married, I would be the first to offer one of their hands to our princess. She is a young woman worth a thousand soldiers if not more, easy on the eyes but requires nothing less than a sacrifice for those who dared to seek her conquest. She is our very own warrior Princess, deserving nothing less than another Warrior's hand”.

A woman worth a thousand soldiers.

A sudden throbbing irritated the inside of his head, causing Reiner to shut his eyes in reflex. He felt like an old memory just flashed inside his brain, but this time he was wide awake instead of sleeping. What was that? Why did Lord Hosokawa’s words trigger something inside his memories?

Shaking his head, Reiner realigned his focus back to their conversation. This alliance would be that golden chance for him to execute his retrieval plans but memory flashes aside, he had another concern of his own as well. It seemed that their newly-elected War Chief was having mixed feelings and this did not escape Hosokawa’s perceptive gaze.

“A coin for your thoughts, War Chief Braun?,” Hosokawa interjected, causing everyone's attention to drift back to the young military veteran.

“Your Excellency, I apologize if this would be a bit out of line, but I was wondering, would it be a concern to the Hizuru empire if the consort candidate happens to be a Titan shifter?”

The other male Titan shifter narrowed his gaze towards his now immediate superior, before exchanging questioning looks with Pieck who was sitting on the opposite side.

The grey-haired naval leader shook his head. “We are aware that a person who holds the power of the Titans would have a constrained lifetime but no, it would not be a concern to us, as long as the three aforementioned conditions are fulfilled.”

Satisfied with Hosokawa's explanation, Reiner nodded with understanding.

Hosokawa stood up and said, “If there are no other concerns, I believe it's best if I excuse myself. It has been a pleasure to sit here and meet the great Warriors of Marley.” He moved across the room and shook Magath's hand firmly. “I trust we would receive a decision by the evening?”.

“Of course, Lord Hosokawa. You will have my word by sunset”, answered Magath with a respectful salute. He waited for several seconds until he heard the distinctive sound of the closing door.

He advised the younger soldiers, “We’ve all heard from the Admiral. If we agree to their requests, Liberio will be rebuilt much quicker, our military forces will be improved and upgraded within a month or two. This could be to our advantage.”

Reiner agreed. “We can even launch a rescue mission for the children’s retrieval and the takeover of Paradis within a week after the wedding.” In Reiner’s mind, if this alliance could make Gabi and Falco’s rescue a top priority and at a sooner possibility, well, nothing else mattered to him.

“Sir,” Colt, the silent observer throughout the whole affair, reminded everyone of his presence. “I volunteer. I want to bring my brother home and I want to rebuild Liberio for our people. So, I would like to volunteer myself as the consort candidate.”

Magath seemed to be giving Colt’s suggestion serious consideration. However, the older man later shook his head. “Colt, despite the fact that you’re younger than the princess by two years, you’re still a Warrior trainee. It would potentially be disrespectful to Hizuru’s good faith if Liberio sends a Warrior candidate as her consort instead.” He directed his gaze towards his immediate right hand. “Reiner?”

Understanding the meaning behind Magath’s explanation, he responded. “We should accept Hizuru’s proposal and only a Warrior would be a respectable candidate as the royal consort.”

Porco interrupted his words, “No offence, man but are you fuckin’ serious right now? Just because Hizuru’s asking for a dick-” Pieck glared at him and he nervously corrected his choice of wording,”-husband, I meant, husband, so we just give them what they want? Am I the only one here who thinks Hizuru’s up to something? And I can’t fuckin’ put my head on it right now. And I don't like the fact that it's down to either you or me, since well, you-know-who defected.”

Pieck cautioned Porco's opinion but nevertheless, made her concerns known. “Reiner, as much as I don’t really agree with how Porco worded everything, he’s actually right. Hizuru’s planning to give out more things than they’re getting in return. Don’t you think it’s a bit suspicious?”

Reiner’s mind drifted into nothingness as he stared down at the shiny surface of the polished table, unable to offer any justification to his comrades’ concerns.

Magath exhaled a long breath. “If we turn down Hizuru’s proposal, what is our next step? Could we rebuild Liberio on our own? How many more people would we lose in the next 24 hours because we have insufficient emergency and medical assistance? Eighty-seven to ninety-three per cent of our troops have already been decimated in the attack, we have less than ten percent remaining soldiers for defence right now. If a long-time ally is offering a lifeline, we could at least consider the helping hand.” If only the Tybur family patriarch was still alive, they would never find themselves in such a dire situation.

“If anyone should make the sacrifice, it should be me.” Reiner broke his earlier silence before continuing, “As the new War Chief, I understand the responsibility that comes with it. As much as Gabi and Falco need to be retrieved immediately, I understand now that my duty to our people here takes precedence over everything else. If wedding and bedding a princess would benefit the Eldians in Liberio during our times in need, then I will lay my heart and everything that I have on the line to carry my duty. If everything goes well, we could leave for Paradis the very next morning after the wedding.”

He only has less than 22 months left to live and Hizuru only needs heirs whom he will provide in exchange for his people’s safety, security and future. His people have been oppressed for so long that he knew he could achieve something better with another sacrifice he was about to make. Just as long as he keeps his eyes on the bigger picture.

Porco shook his head, his words dripping with unintentional sarcasm. “That’s pretty fucked up to me, man. In normal circumstances, I would applaud you for your bravery but knocking up the princess on your wedding night and leaving for a suicide mission the next morning, is really stupid. Not that I would volunteer either.” He lifted his hands in surrender.

Colt couldn’t agree more. “Mr. Braun, don’t you think that might be too hasty? Wouldn't it be better for us to gain Hizuru's utmost trust before we proceed with the rescue plan? What about the Princess’ feelings?.”

It puzzled him on how the others could be empathetic towards a person they have never even met in real life. “Colt, I’m pretty sure you’re aware how the situation goes down. At this very moment, the Princess' feelings are the very least of my concerns. Sometimes, children can be conceived regardless of the circumstances. Even without love, because love takes time and that is something neither I nor everyone here has. As long as I fulfill the three conditions, Marley fulfills the end of our bargain. There was no clause mentioning that I need to care for her or the future child she will carry.”

He knew something for sure: he didn’t need to fall in love with his soon-to-be wife to lay with her and he didn’t need to be around or even alive, personally to raise his unborn child.

He would know it better than anyone else.

He IS, after all, living proof of manipulative conception, abandonment, neglectful parenting and an absent father.

What an irony indeed. He would definitely be a chip off the old block, just like his dirtbag Marleyan father.

However, his marriage would also cement the future security of his whole family. His mother would live a much better life than the one she is living right now.

Good ol’ Reiner Braun, the ever dutiful son, who would continue to burn himself for his mother until there was no more left of him to give.

Furthermore, that child would be the crown prince or princess of Hizuru. He or she will be spoiled for life - unimaginable wealth, an endless number of guardians, governess and teachers that could replace a missing father. Heck, his unborn child’s future would absolutely be even brighter than his own and that child is not even conceived yet.

Magath cleared his throat before he nodded in agreement. Political marriages and children are, after all, regular occurrences in past histories. This pivotal alliance would definitely be written in the books and it would be equivalent to a glory for the Eldians in the future.

“Before we dismiss and I am required to personally deliver our decision to Lord Hosokawa, let me stress this for one last time: when the resources and supplies have come from Hizuru, we will come up with a new plan to infiltrate Paradis. But first, we have to prepare for another pressing matter: Reiner’s wedding.”

The meeting that day was disbursed with a lot of mixed reactions from all the attendees.

The next day, only after the Braun family house received an unexpected visit from the dressmaker and tailor from Hizuru, did Reiner realize he had not yet prepared his mother for the breaking news. Their family members had been extremely distraught over the recent attack and even more so for Gabi’s abduction that the news of his forthcoming marriage - although untimely, had brought a tiny sliver of happiness and much-welcomed hope to their family.

“I’m so proud of you, my son,” gushed Karina as she pulled him into her arms. She was beyond ecstatic that her son would not only be marrying ancient royalty but would also elevate their family’s status to a higher degree, even more than anyone else in Marley. She was very glad that her only son had brought nothing but luck to her.

Sadly, as she basked in her own pride,  she had truly missed the way Reiner’s eyes closed in despair and with fear of the unknown that lies in waiting for him. ‘There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, Gabi and our family, Mama.’

He was prepared to sacrifice, yet again, what was left behind of him for their future.

10 days after the attack on Liberio.

Wedding Day.

Their ship’s journey across the sea from Marley to the peaceful country in the East Sea had been accompanied by clear skies, the distant caws and merry chirping of flying seagulls in the distance and the calm riding of ocean waves. Their entourage began their journey during sunset the day before and it was only a few hours shy from the morning sunrise.

From where he was standing, he could already see the coastal terrain of Hizuru shores, the outline of village settlements and the early group of fishermen moving out to make ends meet. Based on the information from Magath, Hizuru is an agricultural country, rich with natural resources that other nations in the world are dying to trade for. Even Pieck had mentioned that the sea delicacies from Hizuru are a hundred times fresher than the ones that were available in the wet markets of Liberio.

Reiner couldn’t catch even a wink of sleep throughout the night. Like a traveller embarking on an unknown yet perilous journey, he spent the whole night watching the vast, dark ocean under the starry skies with an infinite number of questions running inside his head. With a cigarette stick in one hand and a bottle of hard liquor in the other, he drank the night away with Porco by his side, reminiscing together on the good old days like it was his last night of being alive. He was just very glad that he had Porco with him because if he was alone, he knew he might pull another unquestionably stupid attempt at taking his own life. He wanted to choose the coward's way out but even then he couldn't bring himself to do it at all. He was a fool, that was for sure.

Porco took a swig out of the beer bottle while resting his body against the railing of the ship. His hands then jutted out across the railing, hanging above the waters down below. One hand playing catch with a small matchbox that Reiner left on the wooden surface. “I can't say I'm sorry that you're getting married, man. Even if it's to someone you've never met.”

Reiner let out a humourless, throaty chuckle as he exhaled a long draught of smoke from his lips. “That's rich coming from someone who's been keeping his feelings for a girl that is in front of his face after all these years.” Seriously, standing next to Porco was like standing next to the best friend that he lost.

‘Rest in peace, Bertolt.’ The small voice inside his head prodded an old memory.

Both of his best friends had or were holding back feelings for the female Titan Shifters in their division. If Porco takes any more time, he might end up exactly like the former holder of the Colossal Titan. Bringing his love to the grave along with death. Never to be shared, never to be fulfilled.

To Reiner, the only girl who had managed to spark his interest was all the way in Paradis but even then he knew it was only a fleeting crush that dissipated with his suffering in time.

When he returns to Paradis, maybe he could bring Krista back with him to Marley in order to ensure her future. Maybe he could finally fulfill the promise he made to Ymir more than five years ago.

“You might not have more than 2 years left to live, but you now have an opportunity to experience life as how it's supposed to be: get married, have a kid and have a hero's end. Your name will be mentioned in history as the man who united Marley and Hizuru and even as the father of the next crown heir. If you ask me, I won't have any more regrets. A Warrior's life is a lonely road if you don't make full use of the cards life is dealing you right now,” said Porco, who had a cigarette dangling on the edge of his lips and successfully lighting it with a spark courtesy of a single stroke of the match's flint.

But then again, the question remains:

Would he even have the guts to break the heart of a young woman who, by tomorrow, will be bound to him? Destined to carry not just his family name but his unborn child as well?

When the ship finally reached the main port, they were personally welcomed and greeted by Lord Hosokawa. With his mother riding in the carriage with Magath and Pieck, he rode on a single dark horse, Porco to his left and Lord Hosokawa to his right, leading his humble entourage. They slowly moved through the pathway from the port, crossing villages and the main town. He felt, yet again, another small wave of memory tugging at his heart for reasons he was unable to clarify.

When he saw all the town villagers - men, women, elderly and children all flocking by the main road, expecting his entourage with sheer curiosity, during that small moment his brain conjured up an image from the past.

He remembered when he was a Survey Corps member, preparing to head out of the gate of Wall Rose for an excursion beyond the walls. If they were destined to lose their lives in that expedition, faces filled with fear and disappointment would be the last image that they would ever see before meeting the end of their lives.

Reiner's amber eyes glanced around at the village folks around them. However, instead of fear, he saw only sunny, cheerful expressions on their faces. Far from the contempt he had imagined earlier. As his horse trotted along the dirt road, his ears couldn't help but caught snippets of conversations exchanged amongst the villagers.

“Is that the Warrior from Marley? He looks so tall and handsome!”

“I'm so happy that it wasn't an old man they sent for the Princess’s hand.”

“I heard he's the Armored Titan. I don't know what the Azumabito family was thinking! Don't they care about how the Princess feels? She's marrying into misery!”

“She doesn’t deserve to marry only for her to be a widow so soon.”

“Shhh….keep it down. He'll hear you!”

Porco shook his head, calming his good friend as he too, overheard the menacing whispers. “Keep it calm, buddy. It’s nothing new.”

Despite a nagging feeling ebbing away inside him after hearing that very particular bothering sentence from one of the village elders, he continued riding his horse regardless,  occasionally waving and smiling at the young children he saw looking up in his direction. He found temporary comfort when the little tykes waved jovially back towards him. That was one of the reasons why he truly loves being in the presence of children - their pureness, free of any judgmental bones inside their bodies.

His subconscious slowly pushed aside his uncertainty with the hammering of his heart inside his chest as their entourage moved all the way up the pebble-riddled route leading towards a large castle uphill in the heart of Hizuru's capital. Its vicinity alone would defeat Liberio's size much easily from sheer vision. Lord Hosokawa mentioned that it was a mansion but it was no different than a castle with very intricate oriental details adorning every inch of its roofs, gates and even windows.

The hustle and bustle of the castle attendants running back and forth in order to prepare for the arrival of their guests and celebrated groom did not stop as soon as the entourage from Marley arrived within the grounds of the Azumabito stronghold.

Porco smirked at a group of fair, blushing girls peering behind the curtains of one of the castle's windows. He winked at them cheekily, causing them to disburse with hearty giggles. He snuck a quick glance at the blonde-haired Titan shifter. “Come to think of it, now that we’re here, maybe there are some good things in Hizuru. I could definitely sample some of the local specialities later. Can't let you be the only one who has all the fun exploring exotic territory tonight.” Porco chuckled to himself.

Reiner rolled his eyes in disbelief. “Can you not think with your dick right now, Galliard?”

Porco leaned in and whispered to his left ear in response. “Have you looked at the girls just now? If those were just the castle maids, damn, I can imagine how much more beautiful your bride would be. If you're having cold feet, Braun, I'm more than happy to switch places with you right now if it's possible.”

“You're unbelievable,” Reiner grunted as he purposely steered his horse further upfront, away from his good-intentioned yet deliberately outrageous comrade. Moreover, Porco's untimely crude humour only made his nerves jitter annoyingly, even more than before.

His inner predicament stayed undivulged with him all while he was requested to change out of his Marley formal uniform to a pair of montsuki, a traditional wedding attire from Hizuru. Its crisp black and white cotton blend material fit snugly to his build even with the large sleeves, enhancing his Warrior’s strength, like a domineering bushido from ancient times. At least that was what the description intended to be, according to the kind old tailor who personally travelled all the way to Liberio to hand-make his montsuki, a day after Lord Hosokawa's visit.

He looked at the forlorn face of the man reflected on the large standing mirror inside the holding room: a fierce, steadfast man of authority, a war dog but with well-concealed fears and insecurities.

Would the Princess treat him like he is a lesser being?

She wouldn't know what life was like for him. She couldn't understand what he has gone through even if he told her everything.

Would the Princess accept the fact that he could never truly open himself up or offer his heart to her?

Love needs time and time is running short for him.

Maybe he should keep his distance from his bride and only communicate with her when it is truly important. He would only touch her when it was necessary. Nothing more beyond that.

It was no way to live but it would hurt less when his time is up and he had to leave this world for good. He has no time in his life to care for a wife or a child who he, won't even permit himself to love.

Porco was right. A Warrior's life is a broken, lonely road.

Maybe this marriage was more a curse than a blessing after all.

A sigh escaped his thin lips in a long exhale. He’s been doing that a lot lately. As if the weight of the whole world was literally weighing him down. Ever since his return from Paradis.

Planning to apologize to his soon-to-be wife on their wedding night, and preempting her to a life full of suffering, was not a part of his plan. But then again, what else was new? He was born to break things -- walls, friendships, trust and now, a stranger's heart.

His eyes occasionally darted on his best man, who was lounging and freely abusing the liberty of the welcome spread prepared by their host: too much wine for too few guests from Marley. The Jaw Titan holder was perched on the velvet settee at the centre of the room, helping himself to the fresh fruits and desserts served by the stewards of the castle.

“Porco, when are you going to tell Pieck how you really feel about her?” uttered Reiner as he let one of the family attendants adjust the ties around his hakama, to which his friend's eyes widened in confusion.

“Where the fuck did that come from?”

“I mean you've known her since like forever, don't waste another day of life without truly living when we're on borrowed time.”

“Jeez man, you're only getting married. It's not your funeral. Stop talking as if you're going to drop dead on your marriage bed tonight. Pfft…” Porco scoffed. “Besides, Pieck knows it. I know it. There's no need for us to proclaim it out loud for the whole world to know. That's enough.”

“If I'm not getting a happy end, at least I know you both get to have yours. That's how much I care about you two.”

“Shit man, I don't need to get married to Pieck to be happy. Let’s face it - having a family will never be in our books. What's the point of having a child if you won't live long enough to raise them -- I mean if both of us are not going to be around.” His voice felt like it was stuck in his own throat as he realized that he did not keep his words in check. Again. “Well, you know….that it’s totally different than your situation though. Your bride will live till she's grey and old, raising your kids and grandkids. She can even afford to raise the next three or four generations of the Braun family with the riches she has right now.” Porco shrugged as he took another sip from the wine glass in his hand. He almost bit his tongue off because of his blunder, considering Reiner's situation. “At least for all of us, the 'chosen Eldians’, we won't get to live long enough to see our legacy. Not in this lifetime.”

The blonde-haired Titan shifter averted his gaze in an understanding of the painful, heavy meaning that lay within Porco's words.

The chief steward of the household, a polite and respectful man, Kagetsuna Akayama, someone who Reiner believed might only be slightly older than he was, appeared from the doorway and approached the spot where he was standing. The attendant from earlier was almost finishing the final touches to his haori and tidied up any seams that were out of place. His hair was combed back in a neat pull compared to his usual side parting.

A feminine hand grasped at his shoulder. Reiner turned around and saw the sunny, smiling face of his aged mother. She was dressed in a custom-made dress from Hizuru, its colour combination of pink flowers on light purple silk made her look regal. Befitting for a mother-in-law to a royal Princess. “Are you nervous, Reiner?” She asked as she dusted a stray lint away from his bell-shaped sleeves.

His golden eyes reflected the rays from the beautiful, warm sun, slipping in through the open shoji windows. “A bit, Mother. I hope I won't embarrass myself in front of everyone. I mean - I don't even know her name.” For a twenty-one-year-old young man, he could still feel the anxiety he experienced when he was an eleven-year-old boy. His tone of voice, however, was quite contradictory to his tall, confident posture. Self-doubting and unsettling.

“My son, she would love you as you are. Maybe not as much as I do but in time, she will care for you. I haven’t had the opportunity to meet her earlier but Madam Kiyomi, the Hizuru ambassador personally told me that the Princess IS the perfect match for you. In every way. So, should we question our host in their very own home, Reiner?”

Reiner let out a nervous smile. “Of course not, Mother. Never.”

“Thank you for bringing honour to our family. If only Gabi was here, she would've been happy to share this moment with us.”

“I promise I will bring Gabi home soon. Just hold on for a little bit longer.”

Kagetsuna bowed down to the mother and son, addressing them both after staying aside in respect of their private conversation. “Lord Reiner, Lady Karina. The ceremony will begin shortly. Allow me to guide you to the gardens.”

Reiner took in a deeper breath and nodded as the occupants of the room finally made their way out of the guest room.

The backyard of the Azumabito family mansion was large enough to host the wedding ceremony. Overlooking a river and the vast lands of townhouses, the garden was decked with a combination of white lily flowers and pink tuberoses along the aisle, separating two different parties involved in the wedding. Loose pink rose petals were strewn across the dark red carpet covering the walkway, where the bride will be making her grand entrance. The sound of slow, beautiful music could be heard coming from a group of seasoned musicians with traditional local instruments in their hands, enhancing the merriment of the guests present.

The handful amount of representatives from Marley couldn't help but be infected with the joy and laughter from the local guests. Various local high-ranking officers and ministers could be seen socializing with Madam Kiyomi and Lord Hosokawa. Magath seemed more than content to be rubbing shoulders with extremely important people from the East Sea country. Meanwhile, Pieck, sitting in between Karina and Porco, gave a small smile to Reiner, who was sitting patiently on the velvet dais right upfront. He looked surprisingly ready for the biggest moment that, according to Magath again and again, would be the most notable event in world history.

The Cart Titan holder wished for her longtime friend to finally spend the remaining time he has left with true happiness.

Reiner's marriage to the Princess of Hizuru today would not only signify the union between two nations, but it would also set a lifelong alliance in stone, one that will transcend beyond time and generations.

The holder of the Armored Titan remained calm, sitting cross-legged and hands resting against his hakama. His right fingers, however, were fidgeting restlessly against the dark fabric. To his right was the priest of the Shinto faith, a religion that was adopted by the locals and was recently embraced by his bride. The old man, garbed in his traditional robes, could be heard offering prayers to the deities above.

Reiner wasn't a believer of any spiritual figures of the sort but he would not disrespect the Princess’ faith in any way, thus that was why he consented to have the main wedding ceremony performed according to Hizuru's customs.

Out of the blue, there was a uniform silence across the venue. Soon after, one by one, the guests all stood up and turned their bodies in the direction of the aisle. All eyes were fixed against the main door of the hall leading from the inside of the mansion.

The bride, dressed in a bridal kimono of pure white, stood straight and poised with her face hidden by a sheer veil. In her fair hands was a bouquet of pink oriental flowers, complimenting the silk embroideries on the lower parts of her own haori.

White against black.

She was the equivalent of light to his darkness.

Her pureness and innocence to his sins and imperfections.

Or so he thought.

He could hear the throbbing of his own heart as his bride took precise, composed steps towards the dais in a slow yet a fluid movement. Her head hung low as she allowed her legs to carry her body gracefully. Trailing behind her were four ladies-in-waiting, all dressed in matching ensembles. The first girl held a golden tray with a ceramic jug and a small drinking cup. The other three seemed to be carrying similar trays but with a blade nestled in their sheaths, each in a different colour - black, dark blue, and red.

Reiner then kept his head straight ahead when the Princess finally reached the dais. Yet it didn't escape the observation out of the corner of his eyes of the unusual height of his soon-to-be wife. She towered above the other ladies in the garden, he realized.

After she had finally settled right in front of him, only then the priest begin the initiation of the ceremony.

“We offer our prayers to the great deities, Izanagi, and Izayami. We seek thy blessings for our gathering today and bless the union of these two souls; Lord Reiner of the Braun family from Marley and the Lady Mikasa of the Azumabito family.”

Reiner looked at the old man in confusion. Did he just say, Mikasa?

Maybe it was a common name in Hizuru after all.

What were the odds he would be marrying someone who has the same name as the girl he used to respect, albeit in fear when he was younger?

“We will begin the ceremony with san san kudo, where the bride and groom will drink from the same blessed sakazuki, to signify the union between two hearts, two souls, two families, and two nations. Lord Reiner, will you please lift the bride's veil?” The priest's words guided him and Reiner followed suit, bending forward while using the tips of his fingers to pull the sheer fabric of his bride's veil upwards.

When his eyes finally took in the revealed face of his mysterious bride, his heart stopped for a second, frozen inside his chest.

WHAT THE HELL???!

Another curse word could also be heard coming from the guest's direction, in particular, the other male Warrior from Marley, as he came to the same realization as the groom did.

‘Ackerman??’ Porco subconsciously gripped Pieck's hand that was next to him, prompting the raven-haired Titan shifter to react towards the small action.

“Porco, what's wrong?” asked Pieck but she received a wordless response as Porco tightened his grip on the hand that he was holding.

Reiner, on the other hand, was struggling to breathe at that point as his eyes never moved away from the face that was staring back at him with a mutual expression.

This was the SAME girl he had grown to fear years and years ago!

How could he ever forget the very last face imprinted on his memories of Paradis? The very same face that religiously haunted him in his nightmares which began five years ago?

How could he ever forget the hateful gaze in those indifferent eyes right before she shoved what had been an equivalent of a small explosive projectile to his Titan's face?

How could it be her?

At that particular moment, all of the puzzle pieces finally fit themselves together and made sense inside his messed-up brain. The undisclosed name, the mysterious origin. How could Hizuru's princess even be all the way in Paradis?

He had heard from Porco that she was there at Liberio ten days ago, but he wouldn't have been able to recognize her during his delirious state. Yet now that he was up close to her, he would definitely remember the distinctive exotic feature and the scar that marred the upper cheekbone of her right cheek. Those steel grey eyes of hers… still hold the same resentment for him.

You….

Mikasa's irises widened in obvious shock herself when the veil was lifted by the man in front of her and her heart thundered inside her ribcage mercilessly. She instantaneously turned her head towards Kiyomi, who nodded her head, indirectly reassuring her to remain calm and understanding. Reminding her that she was doing this for Paradis and there was no other way but to go through with the ceremony.

Is this some kind of a sick joke? He's Reiner Braun?

She looked back at the blonde-haired man in front of her - the very same monster who destroyed her home nine years ago. He was the very same enemy she had to fight against face to face four years later. The very same person she had called a plague of humanity in genuine disappointment. Kami...he is the same man from the alley in Marley! Oh, Sasha...you had been right all along.

He was looking equally surprised as she was, thoroughly obvious to her, from the way the outline of his thin lips shivered nervously. He had lost a lot of weight, his figure a lot leaner than she last remembered four years ago and his cheekbones were a lot more prominent than before. His jaw was a lot sharper and like most of the men she had grown with, he was sporting a thin line of facial hair around his lips, making him appear a lot older than the young boy she remembered in Paradis. No wonder she couldn't recognize him when they first met that day!

But why is he acting as if he'd never seen her days before the assault?

“Milord, milady, shall we proceed?” The priest’s voice took her away from delving deeper and deeper into Reiner Braun’s solemn amber eyes. The same pair of eyes that she couldn't get out of her mind ever since the day he helped her in front of that pâtisserie. 

The priest instructed the first handmaiden, Akane, to pour the sake into the flat saucer-like cup on the tray.

He looked at Reiner. “Milord, will you take the first drink?”

His hands reached out to the medium-sized ceramic offered by the young girl, the dark red liquid threatening to spill at the edges due to his trembling.

Porco was almost standing up to run to his friend's aid but another pair of hands shot up to grasp against Reiner's own, giving the much-needed support.

To everyone's surprise, the hands belong to none other than the bride.

Mikasa clutched the back of Reiner's larger hands, steadying them as she guided the saucer to his lips and he took the sweet liquor in small sips, still taken aback by her action. She didn’t need to assist him but she did.

Kiyomi was looking at the interaction with relief. Lady Mikasa has already begun to perform her duty as a wife effortlessly. Supporting her husband in the public eye and protecting him from what could have been a potentially embarrassing moment where hundreds of pairs of eyes were watching, were judging the worth of a marginalized Eldian for their own royal heir.

Akane refilled the cup and Reiner took the turn in guiding the cup towards Mikasa's direction in return.

After three rounds of drink sharing, only then was the first ritual completed. Akane withdrew herself and settled next to Mikasa’s side.

The priest was smiling peacefully upon witnessing the serene interplay between the new couple. He continued, “Milady, as a century-old tradition of your ancestors in Hizuru, you may present the family heirloom, the three blades of the Azumabito family symbol; the ever-vigilant Muramasa, the loyal Mitsunari and the formidable Masamune, to your groom. Masamune represents the man, Mitsunari the wife and Muramasa to protect the firstborn prince and heir, soon to be born to the empire.”

Hana, the second handmaiden, moved forward with the blade sheathed inside the dark blue velvet wrapping on the tray she was holding. She then shifted the blade unto Mikasa's awaiting hands. The Shinto priest then gently guided her open arms with Masamune resting on the flat of her palms, as befitting as an offering it should be. The weathered, aged man of faith beckoned her to move slightly closer to the taller, blonde-haired man as the priest continued his words when he turned his head towards the groom. “Young lord, Masamune has been protecting the Azumabito family years and years before our times. Its blade, forged from the finest steel and a precious stone, had bathed itself with the blood of the family’s enemies.”

Whatever words that came out from the old priest’s lips passed through his hearing without so much as a comprehension, due to the tremors coursing through his body. It almost felt exactly like it did during the night of the assault from Eren Jeager. The dire weight of this whole situation finally sunk in.

His past ghosts would never stop coming back to haunt him.

“As the new consort to our youngest noble, Warchief Reiner Braun of Marley, do you pledge your unwavering loyalty to Hizuru, its rulers and its people? To respect the Lady Mikasa, to uphold your duty as her lord husband, through light and darkness, through illness and health? Will you be the blade to her sheath? To defend her honour, to become her protector and father to her unborn children that will be conceived through this union, above all else, until death do you part?”

I don’t.

“I do. Without a doubt.” His grip became tighter against the blade. He couldn’t deny the possibility of his new bride slaughtering his neck with the very own blade she was trusting him with, any time now.

“Lady Mikasa Azumabito of Hizuru, on the namesake of your great ancestors, Masamune, Mitsunari and Muramasa, do you pledge your unwavering loyalty to Marley and its people? To respect Lord Reiner, to uphold your duty as his lady wife, through light and darkness, through illness and health, like our divine deities, Izanagi and Izayami? To uphold his honour and authority, to be the sheath to his blade, mother to his unborn children that will be conceived through this union, above all else, until death do you part?”

I don’t know.

“I do. With all my heart.” Mikasa, hold your head high and whatever happens, remember, you are doing this for Eren, Armin, Historia and everyone in Paradis. Even surrendering yourself to the very monster who destroyed your home and initiated everything from the very beginning.

Amber eyes clashed with ashen-coloured irises in a mixture of deep confusion, fear and uncertainty. Her face, although it was a brilliant porcelain mask of cold expression, Reiner could strongly feel that she herself was struggling to remain her own composure. There was no way in hell that a girl like Mikasa, could ever leave behind the only person she devoted herself to back in Paradis unless she had an extremely great reason for her to do so.

A reason that Reiner still couldn't deduce yet.

What exactly happened between you and Eren, Mikasa?

Meanwhile, Mikasa could somehow perceive the blood slowly draining out of his gaunt and somewhat weary face as she also snuck a glance at the other two Warriors, seated on the front row on the groom’s side. Both of them, with matching shock on their pale faces as concealed wrath was reflected inside their eyes and that was targeted especially to her. The male one practically seethed at her.

All she could think of in that tiny little headspace inside her head was an imagination of Eren standing up amongst the audience and bellowing his objection loudly.

Alas, it would never happen.

“Dear honoured guests, I present to you the newlyweds, Lord Reiner Braun of Marley and now, Hizuru, with his wife, Lady Mikasa Azumabito. My Lord and Lady, may your marriage be blessed until death and your souls are bound together as one for all eternity.”

Her mind was a blank canvas, drawing nothingness from all the happenings around her. She couldn't help but blame herself for not objecting to her own vows earlier.

Those vows that she just took would be forbidding any ill thoughts or actions that she wishes to execute against her then enemy and now husband.

Her vows would save him from death at her own hands.

He held out his hand for her to take, finally conscious of the warm softness of her skin against his own as he helped her up. There was only a deafening, awkward silence between them as she quickly pulled her hand away from his grasp. Meanwhile, Mikasa still couldn't shake away the ephemeral afterthought inside her head which agreed that his hands had still been as reassuring against hers. Despite now knowing that he was their enemy all along, she wouldn't allow herself to be lost in the possibility of her having harboured a potential intriguing attraction to this heartless man.

One by one, the guests came to congratulate the newlyweds on their fresh beginning. Reiner and Mikasa could at the very least, manage a small smile and a thank you. After giving way to the other important guests, Hosokawa finally had the opportunity to approach them, with Karina following closely behind. The military veteran from Hizuru leaned in to speak to Reiner in a low, hushed yet steely voice. “I will tell you the same exact words I have told our Princess the day she returned to Hizuru: matter nought what your pasts were compared to your futures that are at stake. Congratulations, your Highnesses.” He ended his words with a handshake, a clap against Reiner's broad shoulder and a bow to both the newlyweds.

Reiner eventually realized at that point: that Hosokawa indirectly disclosed that he had full knowledge of the young couple's history and directly partaking in the orchestration of the alliance and he was in full cahoots with the matriarch of the Azumabito family all along.

Karina, who was oblivious to the whole bigger picture, couldn't even be happier. She was grinning from ear to ear as she was accompanied by Kiyomi to give their blessings and congratulations to the new couple. She enveloped her own son in a long hug.

Kiyomi gave a meaningful look towards Mikasa. “Lady Mikasa, may Izanagi and Izayami bless you and our new Lord with joy and love for all eternity.” Mikasa nodded weakly, like the obedient figure that she had grown to be ever since she returned to her ancestral home.

“This is Lady Karina Braun, your lord husband's mother,” introduced Kiyomi, much to Reiner's nervousness. His mother must never know about Mikasa's origins. Ever. He was also afraid of the younger woman’s reaction to his own mother.

However, his new wife conjured up a smile before bowing down in respect towards the older woman. “Mrs Braun…”

Karina quickly corrected Mikasa's greeting politely. “Please, your Highness. You can call me Mama if you want. I am sorry to hear that you have lost your own mother at such a young age.” The older Marleyan woman drew Mikasa's taller figure into her welcoming embrace. “Do know that you have a mother again now, my dear.”

Mama…..

How long ago was the last time she ever called someone with that word?

Tiny droplets of tears trickled down her cheeks without her consciousness. Maybe it was due to the pent-up stress she had been keeping to herself for the past ten days, or maybe she had never realized how much she had been missing her own mother and Mrs Jeager after all these years. Or the fact that she had been yearning to call someone ‘Mama’ again and she finally could, even if that person was the one who gave birth to the monster who destroyed her home and killed many innocent lives in the past.

She would take anything if it was only for this moment.

“Oh dear me, it seems that I've made your wife cry, Reiner.” Karina laughed nervously as she looked at her son while rubbing gently on the back of her new daughter-in-law.

The corners of his lips curved upwards in a nervous smile. It was not possible for Mikasa to act the way she was right now. The girl he used to know and remember might not have worn her heart on her sleeves before but he knew those tears were not made up. The Mikasa Ackerman he remembered was anything but pretentious.

Time had certainly changed them.

But, would this be an ending or a beginning?

Reiner was not sure himself but he knew all the answers lie within the younger woman standing right in front of him.

He sent a quick glance towards Porco, Pieck and Magath’s directions as they were apparently standing by, for any signs of distress from him in any way. He only shook his head, imploring them to stand down and that the situation was still under his control.

They were both politely ushered - her by her handmaidens, him by his personal attendants from the mansion -  towards their respective holding rooms, as soon as the long line of guests slowly made their way into the main hall of the large family dwelling. As they walked together side by side in the large hallway, they still haven’t exchanged even a single direct word between them. It wasn’t because of the lack of privacy, what with a group of people trailing all around them - the stewards, attendants and handmaidens. He just wasn’t sure what was the right first word to ever say to her.

After the much-welcomed surprise lunge by Hange who had managed to shoot a contingency Thunder Spear into the other side of the Armored Titan’s jaw, Mikasa took heed of the cue by her Squad Leader and quickly ran along the arms of Reiner’s Titan form, aiming straight towards its now dislodged jaw with the Survey Corps’ final disposable Thunder Spear, locked on her right hand.

“Wait. Are you-?!” Reiner finally realized what the female soldier was trying to do. His life has finally reached its end as he saw her aiming the weapon straight into his physical body’s direction.

She gritted her teeth, her face burnt with pure anger. “Reiner. Come out.”

The last words they ever said to each other kept on replying inside his head all the while he was changing into his Marley formal military overcoat. As he dismissed an attendant’s offer to assist him with his necktie, he found himself in more doubt than ever. He did not marry a stranger but a girl whom he had a history with - as a friend, as a comrade and a known enemy, at least until today. Right before they pledged their loyalty to each other and their respective nations. If she was a stranger, everything would be a fresh slate but with her, there was the issue of his betrayal and the trust he had broken so hard that rebuilding it would be an impossible feat.

But pleasing her would be the only way for his people to be safe and protected especially right now when Liberio is close to becoming a total wasteland and his own people are suffering.

As if the Universe had perfect timing, they finally met each other again just as they stepped outside their respective doors.

He was not prepared for anything. He was not prepared for his wedding and he was not prepared to see this woman in a different light.

The moment his nose caught wind of the light floral fragrance coming from his new bride, he shook his head as it somehow oddly triggered a sense of inexplicable familiarity. As if he had come across this scent before but he couldn't remember when or where. 

He remembered an image of the younger girl in front of him from four-five years ago within the wreckages of her old home in Shinganshina. Garbed in her Survey Corps uniform, standing afloat with her omnidirectional manoeuvre gear, looking down at him with repulsion. He was also looking up at her with a reciprocated intensity.

The young woman who was standing right in front of his eyes at that very moment, however, was like a picture painted to perfection, shedding behind the remainders of her adolescence. As she stepped forward in a white western-style wedding dress, the sheer lace fabric that wrapped against the bodice only accentuated the solid, athletic frame that she had built so well over the years. The flowy skirt complemented the long legs underneath, their outlines visible with every step that she took. While the simple diamond tiara bedecked with tear-shaped jewels nestled between her short midnight hair and the flowy veil highlighted her slender neck. It felt different but he felt a minor relief when he realized that after all this while there had been a necessary missing piece - her emblematical crimson scarf.

It was a pathway to her past and he truthfully desired for it to be indefinitely disposed of if they were to move towards their future

Lord Hosokawa was right. It mattered nought what their pasts were compared to their futures that are at stake.

No more time for regrets.

He had known her as Mikasa Ackerman.

But from today onwards until the day he dies, he will know her as Mikasa Azumabito Ackerman Braun.

His wife.

Reiner finally mustered up the courage to ask, “May I please have a moment with my wife?”

Everyone stopped fast in their tracks as they slowly turned their gazes towards the bride, only advancing forward and stopping at a respectful distance away from the newlyweds, after receiving a nod of approval from Mikasa, who was slightly taken aback by his request.

She dropped her gaze away from his face and spoke in a low tone. “I owe you no explanation.” The light scent of fresh pine assaulted her senses when his head dropped down slightly next to hers.

He whispered. “So do I.”

“What do you want, then?”

“To be able to look at you in the eyes and to tell you that……” There was a slight pause in his sentence as she tilted her head up slightly to look at his face, anticipating his next sentence. Their faces were too close for her own preferences but not that she would ever allow him to see how capable he was in making her flustered. Something that he wasn’t able to do before.

“........you look beautiful in white.” He pulled himself back and extended his arm towards her.

For Marley.

She didn’t put up a fight - not to his offer and not to the blush that somehow managed to colour her cheeks the moment they touched for the first time.

For Paradis.

They hated each other for so long but how could this feel like it was naturally meant to be?

Next Chapter:

The newlyweds experience their firsts of everything: conversation, dance, kiss, night and even fight.

To Reiner, she was not as rough and cold as he remembered.

To Mikasa, he was not as heartless and hollowed as she had grown to believe.

Chapter Text

A/N: First and foremost, a heartfelt thank you to Amaranthos, LordAkira18 & RubyL for your long, thoughtful, kind and super inspiring comments! You guys truly helped my muse and this chapter is for all of you. You helped to move this story in ways I can't describe because no words could ever do them justice. Thank you so much once again!

Please enjoy this latest chapter! It’s another long read because I was not quite done exploring the details of the wedding and its aftermaths. A mild warning: there will be smut (but not in the way you expected) ;) This chapter is inspired by Parade of Lights’ Tangled Up .

So go on without me

Into your life

Right out of mine again

It feels like a bad dream

I’m startin’ to find this is a fight

I can never win

I can’t get you off my mind

You do this to me every night

I can’t get you off my mind

Standing while we’re wasting time

Wait, let me love

I get myself all tangled up

Wait, I need us

I get myself all tangled up

Tangled Up - Parade of Lights

Chapter Three

Tangled Up

Rubbing the kinks on the back of her neck, Mikasa sat in front of the vanity set standing at one side of her room. She was assured by the household matron that the matrimonial chamber chosen was as far away from all the commotion as possible. All for providing more privacy for the newly-wedded couple to get more acquainted with each other.

Mikasa bit her lower lips in utter frustration. As if they ever needed further reacquainting.

Her fingers then picked up a small silk handkerchief from the table top to wipe away the colouring on her lips, revealing the natural light pink tinge underneath. She dipped the ends of the same kerchief inside a small pot of pure water next, wiping away the layer of blush and powder on her face. Vanity was never a thing she dabbled with in the past. She was more comfortable rolling in dirt and water than any form of cosmetics. She swore that today would be the first and the last day she would ever have her face made up.

Never again.

The hustle and bustle of her handmaidens brought her attention back to her current reality. The largest sized room that the Azumabito household could offer had been the very same one that had been graced as the royal chamber of her ancestor, the very first shogun elected by the Emperor of Hizuru for more than a century ago. Such notion evoked a very dreadful, nervous feeling inside her. She believed that it was in this very room that hundreds of her blood relatives had been conceived through political marriages on nights like this.

This evening wouldn’t be any different. Not if she were to do something about it.

Her gunmetal irises took in the interior of the room. From the decorated arch of the doorway, to the silk and lace curtains draping against the wooden window panes where they were meant to give an illusion of privacy. A nuance of the dark orange hues from the illuminating sunset created fine lingering shadows through the intricate design of the finely woven fabric. Despite having modern facilities like electricity, the maids were still ordered to light candles and lined them all around the room instead to accompany the primary light source that came from the lanterns, much to the young bride’s puzzlement seeing as the room's inner walls were constructed from wooden frames and decades old shoji paper.

The sweet and sharp fragrance from the vases of fresh tuberoses on each side of the bed had become so sickening to her nose that even her, a fierceless soldier who survived numerous bloody battles before, had been having a hard time in holding herself back from retching.

Maybe it was the nervousness most new brides experience.

Or maybe it was the agitation due to restraining her intent to draw blood since the moment she realized who was the chosen consort from Marley. She suspected it was the latter. Just like that day on Wall Rose when her current newly-wedded husband revealed his true identity as an enemy Titan shifter, her hands struggled against Masamune’s sheath the same way it did with the handle of her omni-directional maneuver gear more than five years ago.

Or maybe it was because of the unbelievable fact that she could feel something remotely to an attraction for this man the day he helped defended her at the back alley of the patisserie. Of all the people, why must it be the same man who had been the cause of their anguish and misery?  

“Koi No Yokan.” The foreign collection of phrases left her mouth in a pure, fleeting afterthought.

Sasha stopped devouring her half-eaten roll inside her hand. “Huh? What was that koi thingy you just said?”

A smile graced her lips unexpectedly and that seized Sasha’s complete attention. Mikasa continued, “ Koi No Yokan. Miss Kiyomi said that it is a saying in Hizuru about the feeling upon first meeting someone that you will inevitably fall in love with in time”.

“Did you feel that earlier?”

The young Hizuru heir bit her lips unsurely. “I’m not sure. Did you have ‘that’ when you first met Niccolo?”

Sasha seemed to be recalling the first time she ever met her Marleyan paramour, Niccolo. The military cook from Marley. "I think I might have but I didn’t know that it was a thing at all. Who knows, maybe you just met your future husband, Mikasa! Well, if things don’t work out with Eren that is. There are always bigger fishes in the sea. You won’t know your luck if you haven’t cast out your net at all. You should give this mysterious Eldian man a chance. Seemed like he’s interested in getting to know you more."

Oh, Sasha...if you'd only known how hauntingly true your words would turn out to be. She did marry that same man after all, as if some twisted intervention by the Universe had been crafting their destinies to be intertwined again in such a distorted way.

The joyful chirpings of her ladies in waiting became too much for her own patience as they eagerly offered to assist her out of the dress of soft bridal silk and ivory lace from her reception, to which she gladly refused and opted to do it herself instead. Akane, however, persisted in removing the steel pins in her hair, detaching the flower crown - the beautiful wedding gift from that little girl earlier -  away from her midnight color tresses. It was followed by the smooth stroke of a brush, smoothing away the frizziness of her short hair before Akane ran her fingers through the soft strands, anointing them with dahlia flower oil. She was preparing her mistress for the marriage bed, like a feast waiting to be devoured by the beast, or groom in this situation.

Akane spoke in a hushed tone, pulling Mikasa back to her current reality. “Milady, are you scared?”

She looked at her own reflection in the mirror in front of her. The mask of indifference vigilantly existed on her face, and it did feel like her reflection was judging her own master, critical of her own inability to stand up and halt everything. Her decision, her time and her aching heart.

Only Kami knows how she desperately held herself back from fleeing today.

“No.” She lied effortlessly through her lips, but Akane’s perceptive gaze was very quick in sensing the tremors in her voice and the tiny shivers of her hands.

“Your new husband might take some time to warm up to you but don't be nervous or scared. I have a feeling that he has a good and loving heart. I can see he was taken aback with your beauty but I believe he was terrified of this too. At one point, when he saw your face for the first time, he was so pale that you’d thought he had seen a ghost!” A chorus of small giggles could be heard among the younger girls.

Mikasa bit her lower lips in an effort to hold herself back from unintentionally snapping back at Akane. She meant well. She didn't think Akane’s poor heart could take it if she knew about her and their new Lord's history.

“But you have to admit milady, he’s quite handsome. A most fitting Prince Charming for our beloved Princess,” assured the good-natured Akane.

Minako, the ever quiet one chimed in hopefully out of the blue, “Was your kiss earlier felt magical, milady?”

Mikasa sighed. She should really consider enriching the genre of books inside their national library soon. Princesses or Queens never have a happy ending. Everything was fabricated, a bunch of sugar coated lies some people were feeding the minds of young, naive girls.

A queen that she knew personally was doomed to inherit the Beast Titan as soon as she delivers her child, only for the child to consume its own mother in thirteen years and for the consecutive child to consume its older sibling only for the sake of keeping the vicious cycle going.

Yet as opposed to what everybody believes; that the Queen had been coerced into conceiving a child with an old childhood friend purely for her own survival, Mikasa knew that she had chosen Eren Jeager as her secret consort more than a year ago.

Unlike herself, Historia had the freedom to choose who would sire her unborn child and heir to her throne.

The Queen chose the young man whom she loves.

The young man that sadly, Mikasa loved as well. Even way before the Queen did.

However, it was never a competition. Eren has always been vague about his feelings and Mikasa knew, there was only space for revenge inside his heart. She had hoped she could be the one who fills the missing piece inside him but he had chosen someone else instead.

Someone who is purer than she could ever hope to be.

Mikasa surrendered to the fact that she could never be as compassionate, as gentle and as kind as Historia ever was. That must be the reason why Eren fell so deeply in love with their Queen. For it was her selflessness, that he braved enemy territory on his own just to protect the young woman that he loves.

And their child that she carries.

Mikasa closed her eyes painfully.

I will never be Historia.

I will never be who Eren chose.

Then without Eren, who am I exactly?

The sound of someone clearing their throat came from the door, causing the group of young girls to turn around together. Meanwhile, Mikasa only glanced at the reflection of the mirror from the corner of her eyes to recognize the lady who had just made her presence known.

Shiori Akayama, the warm and motherly matron of the Azumabito household walked into the room with a tray filled with a silver bowl of rosewater and a few cotton blend towelettes. When the tray was settled on the nightstand, she approached Mikasa’s anxious figure sitting a few steps away.

“Akane, you may take the other girls back into the banquet. Please make sure everyone drinks responsibly. I would need to speak to the Lady Mikasa. Alone.” She slowly shooed the young girls away and waited until they have shut the door behind them, leaving only her and their royal heir.

Shiori Akayama, a jovial woman with a cherubic face, is Madam Kiyomi’s most trusted person and childhood friend, who oversees the whole upkeep of the Azumabito castle and she also happened to be Akane's mother. Shiori had stepped into the role of a pseudo maternal figure easily to Mikasa, more than Kiyomi ever did, the moment she returned to Hizuru. Being around Shiori reminded her of being in Hange's presence. Strict from the outside but with a warm, loving heart on the inside.

The older woman took her place at the other end of the pristine, suede ottoman Mikasa was sitting on, and took one of the younger girl's hands in hers.

“Lady Mikasa, I know that your mother's passing happened when you were really young and you have lived your life as a soldier on the Island. No one could have prepared you for womanly matters like this. You can be honest with me, Lady Mikasa. Have you been with a man before?”

Shiori was aware of Mikasa's origins and her current predicament. A beautiful, healthy young girl like her would've had a long list of suitors back at her birth land if the circumstances had indeed been different. Having herself wedded to someone from the enemy territory was one thing, but to marry the very person responsible for her people’s suffering was a cruel fate that not even she would wish to happen to an enemy. But marriage amongst enemies or opposing clans was a tradition that went all the way back from their ancestors’ time of living. It was how the warring feudal lords kept the peace across the vast, rich lands of Hizuru.

Mikasa shook her head. “No, I haven't, Shiori-han.”

Not in that way, she thought. She did not need to be reminded of that night with Jean a year ago. She was caught in a moment of weakness and yet Jean, being the gentleman that he was, never even took advantage of her, given that his affection for her was still existing at that time.

It was an almost mistake they both promised to never ever talk about ever again.

She had slain titans without any fear in her whole entire life before this. Damn, she had even shot Thunder Spears in two Titan Shifters’ faces before, one of them in her new husband’s face, yet she had never felt as shaken as she was at that particular moment. But then again remembering those things would not be of any help right now.

“Kiyomi-sama didn't want to put you in a tremendous pressure but the sooner your husband's seed takes root in your womb, the sooner we can achieve the goals essential to the ones you truly love and care for in Paradis.”

“Shiori-han, please. I need to talk to Madam Kiyomi. I-I don’t think I can do this. Not tonight. The thought of touching him just brings back unpleasant memories and my family…. I can’t decide if Eren or even Armin’s going to kill me first or him if they ever find out about what’s happening right now.”

“Milady, please listen to me. I am aware that your new husband is the enemy of your people and you have fought against him in the past. Twice. It’s already difficult for you to even look at his face, let alone enduring life with him. But you have made a vow that could never be broken. Marriage is another battlefield but it is also a new beginning for you two and your people. You’re Lord Reiner’s wife now and you have the advantage.”

“But Shiori-han…...we HATE each other!” Her pale pink lips clamped tight in disagreement.

The older woman’s hands embraced hers in comfort. “Hate is better than nothing. But if you go back a bit further, you and he were once comrades fighting for the same side isn’t it?”

You did care about him, even if it was only in history. When you believed he was your friend.

“That was before he betrayed us. He was deceiving everyone the whole time.”

“From what I’ve seen earlier, milady, there was nothing but remorse on his face. If he truly hates you, believe me, even I would have no hesitation in smacking our new Lord on his smug face. Maybe he’s suffered enough since the last time you saw him. Maybe it is a good time for the two of you to start over and pave a way for the three warring nations to exist together in a peaceful future?”

“It’s never enough for me to forgive him.” A dejected sigh escaped her lips. Oh, Mikasa....keep telling yourself that. You couldn't get his face and his voice out of your head ever since that fateful day in Marley.

Shiori decided to fuel the embers of the young bride's rage. “Then, use it to your advantage, milady. Break him down into pieces if it pleases you. You both are on the same side right now. You can start again. You are his wife after all. He is yours to do as you please, as it is for him with you. Apart from your strength, your heart and your beauty as weapons, milady, the greatest weapon you never knew you have until you needed it…,” her voice lowered to a gentle whisper, ”would be the one between your legs.”

Mikasa widened her eyes in sheer terror. She would rather jump into a Titan's mouth, than being in this room, having this particular conversation right now. “.....Please no…..” Mikasa's disagreement only came out as a helpless plea instead.

“All women in histories embraced that weapon to their advantage. They have built legacies and civilizations from the bedroom. That bed is your battlefield. If you conquer him between those sheets, milady, you will conquer his loyalty. Our warring nations’ future peace depends on the consummation of your marriage. If Madam Kiyomi does not see the blood of your maidenhead on that bedsheet tomorrow morning, my child, everyone will be in big trouble.”

She shook her vehemently. “I will not force myself on my enemy. Nor I will allow him to do the same to me. I'd sooner slit my own throat than being in the same room as that monster. I can't even look at him in the face without wanting to draw my blade into his heart and make sure he stays dead this time around,” persisted the raven-haired bride, malice dripping from her words. Just like Eren, her words were strong enough to aim straight for someone's heart.

That someone happened to be her very own husband.

Unbeknownst to her, the said monster she was referring to specifically in her conversation, was standing outside the room, struggling to take in a long breath and attempting very hard to gather his bearings. Even through the closed wooden door, he could still hear bits and pieces of the conversation happening inside. Most importantly, he couldn't help but overhear each and every one of her words, rather clearly he must add. He taught he was done and over with his own anxiety from earlier but alas, he could feel the onset of palpitations inside his rapidly beating heart again.

“Acker-sorry, Mikasa,” Reiner corrected his blunder, in fear of the public's scrutinizing eyes and ears who were at the moment, focused on the newlyweds in the middle of the western-themed reception hall. “Could you at least try to look at me,” he pleaded to her, his tone a low whisper, hoping he would be able to get his new wife to turn her head towards him since he had only been looking at the side of her face ever since they walked together from their separate holding rooms. “Will you at least pretend that you're not burning in rage, at least right now?” He had boldly assumed that the reddening of her cheeks was due to her anger when his hands hovered hesitantly against the curves of her bodice. When she reluctantly turned her face towards his own, only then he overcomes his fear as his larger hands finally rested against the curves of her waist. She herself finally moved her hands from holding his arm and hand to clasp around the back of his nape.

The Universe would never cease to punch him in his face as it continued to make a mockery out of his forlorn situation. He was helpless when her hands rested against the very same weak spot that she could have used to wipe him out of existence, given all the chance she had at that moment.

His amber eyes sent a plea to hers. “I know this is not what we both wanted, at least not with each other but we can't turn back now.”

“Easy for you to say. I'd rather it be anyone but you,” she hissed back in a well-concealed manner yet her eyes clouded with a purely judgmental look.

He couldn't help but wince at her venomous tone.

“I know. You'd rather it be Eren more than anyone else.”

“Don't you dare say his name.” She whispered, her hands naturally tightened against his neck in mild warning, daring him to push the conversation further.

“He’s not here is he?”

“You’ll be long dead if he were.”

“May I cut in?,” a foreign male voice asked out of nowhere.

Reiner addressed the newcomer. “Galliard?” He shook his head at his friend. “I am not sure if this is a good idea.”

“It's unfair to hog your new bride to yourself, Reiner. I'm pretty sure the Lady Mikasa wouldn't mind sparing a dance for me, your very own friend?” Porco smirked but his eyes were none too gentle, as he gently nudged his own partner, Pieck forward towards his immediate superior.

Reiner looked down towards Mikasa, found more cause for alarm than relief when his wife's cold facade didn't break when she nodded her head in response. Porco seemed more than eager to whisk her away and that made him even anxious. The events in Liberio from ten days ago were still fresh in everyone's mind and would never be left unforgotten, any time soon.

What was Porco trying to do?

Reiner was tempted to get Pieck and himself to stay close to their previous dance partners, but Porco seemed adamant to keep his conversation with his new bride merely a whisper. He could see from the corners of his eyes that Mikasa, who was almost as tall as the Jaw Titan holder, locked in a heated gaze with each other. Her face was a clever porcelain mask of indifference yet he could see her lips moved to a conversation he desperately wanted to know.

Pieck confided, “Reiner, I'm worried Porco might do something everyone will regret.” Her grip tight on Reiner's hand and arm.

“I'm more worried about her.”

“I knew Hizuru is allied with Paradis. We were playing right into their plans.” Pieck sighed as her eyes moved wildly against their surroundings.

“You're right, Pieck. But give me some time to find out what Paradis is planning. Ackerman has a history of an unwavering attachment towards Eren Jeager, she wouldn't be leaving him behind without an extremely good reason.”

“Her people wiped out my whole Panzer team, Reiner. She helped Jeager and if it wasn't for you, they could have killed Porco too.”

“Pieck, you should also remember that she had almost succeeded in killing me not once but thrice now. She could've killed me in Liberio when she had the opportunity but she didn't. I've known this girl for three years, Pieck, but this woman I married is not the same person that I remembered.”

“You do care about the demons on that island, don't you?”

“I CARED about them then.”

“Even the Princess?”

“It's complicated, Pieck. As of now, I'm dreading the moment when we'll be alone. I might not even survive tomorrow morning, at least not without missing a few limbs or two. Did you see the way she was holding this blade that she gave me earlier?,” He laughed anxiously before sighing. “Please tell my mother, I love her and tell Gabi that I died trying to save her from that hellhole,” laughed Reiner, again, more for his own pathetic attempt at making light of his situation than actually making a joke, considering the gravity of the fucked up situation he was in.

Why couldn't she just simply be a stranger?

The long-haired young woman could only send a look of helplessness to the new War Chief of Marley, as her hand gently patted her longtime comrade's shoulder with empathy.

“We'll always be nearby. We won't hesitate if she ever decides to make the wrong move. Not this time, Reiner. Zeke might be terrified of the Ackermans before but we now know he was planning to side with them all along. The bottom line is we survived them. We'll be ready.”

“I appreciate your positivity, Pieck. But I just married one of them. Who knew I'll be marrying the very same girl who had almost succeeded in killing me before?”

This was the same girl who haunted his nightmares since four years ago.

It truly felt like he manifested his nightmare to life and he knew it won't be ending anytime soon if he would be spending his waking hours in her presence.

What the fuck did he just get himself into?

He posed a curious glance at his new bride whose face had taken a much darker turn after he saw Porco moved her strong yet graceful form in a smooth twist, aligning his head next to hers as they both faced in the direction where Pieck and himself were at. Reiner saw Porco's lips moved in a whispered conversation against Mikasa's ear, only for her to turn her head towards him in retaliation.

It didn't escape his observation that Mikasa, without a doubt retorted Porco's words, causing the face of the Jaw Titan holder to turn pale with fear in return.

Lord Hosokawa seemed to sense the unbearable stress between the two enemies that he made a timely intervention to pull Mikasa away politely with her cold mask unperturbed. However, to someone who had been around in her company for more than three years, he does note the agitation evident from the creases of stress lines in between her eyebrows.

Porco had let his mouth run loose without thinking again.

He quickly excused himself to Pieck, not without asking her for a favor to ensure Porco would be with her at all times. Porco was a great friend to him but all of that would be as good as a disaster if he suffers sudden, tremendous stress, which very rarely happens. It was very clear to Reiner that his new wife had successfully riled his friend up without so much as an effort.

It was a classic Ackerman move.

As far as he could remember, both Mikasa and his former Captain, Levi had that same intimidating vibe without even trying.

Admiral Hosokawa tapped him joyfully on his shoulder. It was amazing how the most reputable naval veteran in the world could act so casually to a junior like him in person. “Young Lord, it is our tradition for the new Lord of Hizuru to meet his subjects, the heart of our country. The newlyweds should be making a proper introduction to the townspeople waiting to congratulate you and the Lady Mikasa outside. Your Highness?” The Admiral cast a gentle gaze at their royal heir, which in a way had softened her stress lines and reduced them to a tiny smile instead.

To Reiner, it almost seemed like he was observing a father's protective nature towards his daughter.

He took her hand that was offered by the admiral in his like it was the most natural gesture for him to do. He definitely held his good acting responsible for that smooth facade.

Therefore, when they both made their first public appearance as Hizuru's newly-mandated Lord and Lady the moment they stepped out of the mansion's main door, he maintained an air of unwavering loyalty and a mask of calmness even though his nerves were already running amok inside his body.

The sea of happy, proud faces of all ages greeted them before all of them simultaneously bowed down to the newlyweds in respect, giving them the blessings for a prosperous and peaceful future. Mikasa quickly spoke to him in a low whisper, “Just follow my lead.”

He nodded and did as she instructed, by returning the respect and blessings given through the same action.

For his whole life, he has done nothing but following orders without any questions and he did a damn excellent job at it. This was no different yet he felt indebted to return the gesture out of his own free will without needing her prompting. He has been in this position before, a decade ago to be precise. He was together with Marcel, Annie and Bertolt as their departure to the Island was sent off with a big parade from the Eldian people in Marley. Back then they were celebrated as future heroes: the hope for the oppressed Eldians.

Yet today, he is standing here with someone, who ironically was born and raised in the Island that he was supposed to bring to ruins before, and yet together, they both represent hope for their nations and their people.

He noticed that a little girl, no more than four, took off from her mother's side and ran towards where they were. A garland was in her hand, weaved from a colorful mix of wildflowers.

“Lady Mikasa,” cried the little girl just before she loses a footing and almost bumped into the ground if it wasn't for Mikasa's natural reflex and agility. His bride helped the little girl up, her knees bent as she dusted off any debris on the girl's adorable little kimono. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, milady. You’re so beautiful and so kind!” The girl stared at Mikasa's face in awe, before she whispered something in the royal heir's ear. Mikasa replied with a smile, “I think so too.”

The little girl whispered yet again and to which Mikasa asked, “Would it make you happy?”

The girl nodded enthusiastically, hands clasping together in hope of something even Reiner was a bit curious of. His heart softened the moment he realized that the little kid reminded him so much of Gabi when she was much smaller five years ago, when she was still untainted by all the political indoctrination by their 'beloved’ government.

Mikasa lifted the tiara she was wearing and gave it to her handmaiden, who was standing nearby right before placing the floral crown from the little girl on top of her head, adjusting it until it fits snugly at the crown of her raven hair.

He felt hesitant to admit but he couldn't deny that tiny little voice inside him that believed he was seeing the girl who was proclaimed as Paradis’ most prized soldier through fresh eyes and unguarded mind. She, who was once a cold, expressionless and most of the time, a socially awkward person, could warm up naturally to a little child she had only met for the first time.

“Your little admirer says she has a small wish,” said Mikasa, as she stood up from where she knelt and looked up towards him.

‘Wish?’ Reiner gave her a quizzical look in return right before he felt a small tug at the bottom of his overcoat.

“Milord.” The little girl waved at him to get his attention. It was his turn to bend his towering form down and made sure he was on the same eye level as the small, friendly child. “Do you want to tell me your wish?”

She nodded before she whispered in his ear. “Is it true that a prince and a princess would live happily ever after when they are married?”

Reiner didn't have the heart to divulge the awful truth to the innocent little girl. He was not destined for a happy ending that was for sure. “Absolutely.”

“But don't you need to give Princess Mikasa her true love's kiss?” This time, she didn't whisper.

“Well…,” shrugged Reiner. That was something he thought he could skip altogether. He really needs to explain to this hopeful little kid that her favorite Princess would sooner stab his guts before he even thinks of looking at her.

He felt yet another tug, too rough for his own liking, as the force pulled him back to a stand and he was greeted by his wife's doubtful face.

Placing a hand against his left jaw, her dainty fingers brushed against the thin hair around his lips as she moved her face closer and closer against his.

“This means nothing,” was the hushed, breathy whisper. Filled with regret and dripping malice, right before she closed the distance between them.

Their lips met for the first time, awkwardly but it was as tender as it could be. The tip of his own sharp nose grazed gently against her porcelain face, the soft floral scent on her skin an alluring imprint against his senses.

He held his breath anxiously and froze.

It was only a light brush between her tinged lips against his thin ones like a fleeting caress before she quickly pulled away, with a blossoming blush on her cheeks. He knew it was only a charade to prove their union in the public eye in that few long seconds. Yet at that time, he didn't really understand what took over his own actions as he gently pulled her head back in once more and dip his head down before touching his warm lips against her cold forehead.

It’s not like he needed to prove it again.

In spite of all that, he really took the time to savor the kiss.

They were surrounded by the sounds of cheering voices and happy laughter from the spectators, but all he could hear at that particular moment was his own erratic heartbeat.

He was courting death way before his time. If he dies tonight, the last thing he would remember was kissing his wife, something he would never imagine he would be able to do in this lifetime.

He used to be a great pretender but this was unexpected, even to him.

He sensed her sudden intake of breath and a gasp due to his sudden action yet she held back from shoving him off, evident from the way she grasped against the crisp fabric of his tie, in a desperate restraint. Her eyes closed for a few seconds and they opened afterward when his lips drifted away, looking sharply back at his own.

Her voice took a darker tone. “I hate you with every breath that I take.”

Reiner couldn't imagine that it could be any more 'romantic’ than this.

“Welcome to my personal hell, ‘Princess’.” He smirked calmly, his fears and insecurities temporarily locked inside his tortured, compartmentalized brain.

There's nothing more beautiful than having your miserably ever after.

Till death do us part indeed.

His remaining 21 months' time couldn't come too soon for his own good.

He deserved her hatred. He deserved those painful words but he couldn't pretend that it wasn't injuring his pride. He was a pathetic piece of shit, he didn't deserve anyone's forgiveness, not even from Eren, Armin, Krista, Connie, Sasha, Jean and not even from her.

He didn't even deserve to live.

His grip tightened against the hilt of the treasured blade gifted to him by the Azumabito family during the ceremony earlier. The blessed warrior sword felt cursed as the velvet fabric left invisible burn marks against his palms.

It was beyond a simple oath.

It was a life sentence.

He had made a vow to protect her until his last breath.

Yet, who would protect him from her wrath?

Reiner exhaled a long breath from his own heavy lungs. How he wished he had succeeded in taking his own life before.

Would he rather lay down his life and let his now-wife take it for good this time?

She didn't succeed the first three times before, maybe she would succeed this time around. Right after he has served his purpose in fathering a royal heir for Hizuru. But he needed to know some things so badly. He still has questions begging to be answered. He wants to get those answers from her before he goes away for good.

He has twelve months to prove his worth, to seek answers and to put a child in his former enemy's body.

Too deep he was in his own thoughts, his mental space crowded with voices he didn't even know existed, that he had missed the figure who was exiting the room in front of him.

“Lord Reiner? I didn't realize you were here. I thought you would've wanted to enjoy the festivities a bit more”, greeted the older matron of the mansion to the new lord of Hizuru, after seeing his figure perched languidly against the stone wall. Looking pretty much like he was about to crumble to dust.

Reiner nervously ran a hand through his already unkempt hair, forcing a smile on his face and responded, “I just wanted to get away from all the noise.”

It was only slightly before sunset and the festivities won't be ending until midnight itself. For all he knew, everyone would be assuming his disappearance from his own reception happened because he just couldn't wait to get his hands on his beautiful new wife.

“Can't wait to have some alone time with your wife?”

Hah, of course. What else would they be thinking?

He'd sooner get himself poor piss drunk before he would agree to the older woman's implications yet he cleared his throat as a response instead, pretending to feign a nonexistent embarrassment.

Shiori nodded her head with a knowing expression on her face. “I have prepared a pair of fresh yukata and new bathroom essentials for you to use in the morning. We will send supper to your room in the next hour. I suggest you both get some rest first before anything.”

Reiner looked down at the plump, jovial woman. He really wouldn't want to dwell too much on what the woman was referring to when she said 'anything’.

She offered her unwarranted advice to the tall, young man. “My lord, please be gentle with Lady Mikasa. Give her time. She will soon come back to her initial state of rationale. Until then, please exercise patience and constraint towards your wife.”

Even then, Shiori couldn't guarantee that the War Chief from Marley would still be intact as the morning comes. Shiori could see the young man was thinking of the same thing she was having on her mind at that moment.

“May Izanagi and Izayami open your hearts to each other, milord. Tonight onwards, please refrain from killing each other. Your people's future depends on the success of your union.” Shiori sternly reminded him, the same way she did with their princess.

So that was what her 'anything’ meant.

He only gave a slight nod when the woman bowed and took her leave. As her figure disappeared around the corner of the long hallway, Reiner took in a deep breath and reached out for the brass knob.

It truly felt like Death has finally arrived and eagerly waiting for him on the other side of the door.

The second he pried the heavy wooden door opened, a strong wave of a sweet, enticing fragrance invaded his senses and once again, triggered an eerie sense of recognition that he can't seem to recall.

What is this? He momentarily wondered.

She should’ve insisted on keeping Masamune, the newly-polished katana forged from steel and iceburst stone, for her own safekeeping. But instead, she had to adhere to their life-long tradition of presenting it to her life partner, regardless of its circumstances on how it came to be.

Still clad in her wedding dress, Mikasa attempted to undo the satin buttons on her bodice, beginning from the lace cuff at the back of her nape, to no avail. A low sigh escaped her lips as she only managed to unhook the first two small clasps of the dress, out of the thirty or more left. The thought of just tearing the whole dress up seemed like a very tempting idea at that point. She just had to make sure she would do it quickly before one of the girls came back to check on her and realized that she was stupidly incapable of undoing her own clothing.

Why do people have to suffer for something so trivial like weddings?

It would've been different if it was Eren though.

She would've stayed in this dress for as long as she could if it meant that it would be Eren that she marries and she could pretend that whatever happened today was only a fleeting bad dream that will disappear if she wished so badly for it.

No, Mikasa. Stop.

Eren chose her. Not you.

Remember, you will never be the only girl Eren ever wanted.

She felt a sudden tug against the back of her nape and a ghost of warm breath against her slowly exposed skin.

“Akane?” She asked, right before her strong sense of smell caught a blend of masculine fragrance. Fresh pine of an earthy undertone mixed with the afterscent of burnt tobacco.

“Sorry, I'm not who you're looking for. I thought that you could use a hand with this,” came the deep, gruff voice she had thought she had forgotten. Crushed, dry autumn leaves. She shook her head from the immediate reminiscence.

Don't touch me. Get your filthy traitorous hands away, murderer. Just leave me alone!

Was what she wished she could say but she was just exhausted and wished nothing more for her day to end quickly. She has tomorrow and the rest of his life to confront each other and attempt to resolve a score that would never be settled unless it ends with someone's death.

Therefore, she said nothing, not even a grunt, to protest his much-needed assistance. After all, she was the one who refused the girls’ offer from the first place.

Meanwhile, she was oblivious that her new husband was secretly having an internal struggle of his own. He found his eyes fixated curiously on the rather simple yet intricate ink on the skin along the column of her spine. It was a drawing of the Azumabito family’s symbol, as large as the size of his open palm. The dark ink was a stark contrast against the pale smooth skin as it was slightly unraveled with every consecutive button that he helped to pull open.

Reiner asked, “Did they force you to put this on your skin?”

There was only silence except for the sounds of her heavy breathing as her response. Her fingers clenched and unclenched repeatedly against the bunched up material of her dress. There was no need for him to pretend that a simple vow could erase everything that he had done in the past.

Like they were nothing but a forgotten memory.

Like he never initiated the whole nightmare that happened in Shinganshina nine years ago.

Like he could pretend that they were friends again?

He had done some reading while he was in Liberio several days earlier, in order to understand his soon-to-be-wife’s culture and traditions. He couldn’t say he understood all of them but he was at the very least, aware of the aggravating process of applying a traditional tattoo on one’s skin and its significance.

Has she always had it etched on her skin all along?

The ink drawing actually looked really fresh. He had no idea, he had never even seen more of this young woman than what was visible at that moment and he would be lying if he said it didn't intrigue him in the slightest.

Like she did seven years ago, to be exact, right before he developed an innocent crush on the blue-eyed, blonde-haired Krista. The girl who had actually caught his eyes on the first physical of their military training was this young woman standing in front of him. Back then it wasn't her beauty. It was the smooth, natural way her body balanced itself on the omnidirectional maneuver gear training harness and the way she actually surpassed everyone, even himself in melee sparring. His interest remained forgotten in time, especially after knowing her bizarre obsession and overprotective nature towards Eren Jeager.

She was indeed the girl that all the boys admired but she only had eyes for one boy.

Right before he reached the last few buttons on the seams around her waist, she turned her body around roughly and retorted his earlier question, “It’s none of your business, Braun.” Her bare feet stomped harder than it should be against the tatami mat, in protest as she approached a single corner of the chamber.

He ignored the implicitly disrespectful tone she threw at him as he watched her body disappeared behind a wooden shoji screen followed by the sounds of rustling fabric. He settled himself on a velvet lounge not too far from where the bed stood, detaching the ties of the blade on his belt and rested it on the settee’s smooth surface. His hands made quick work in taking off his military overcoat and draping it against the armrest all while kicking off his own footwear, discarding them on the cold, wooden floor. One hand pulled loosely on the tie around his shirt collar and he gratefully breathed in the air as if he was being denied of it during the whole event that took place earlier. He rested his back against the settee, trying to close his eyes for a little while.

For now, he just wanted to sleep and never wake up.

The sounds of rustling fabric stopped and it wasn't long before Mikasa stepped away from the screen in a plain white thin kimono. Its simplicity only enhanced her natural beauty. It could be her royal lineage but she looked regal effortlessly. It was like she was born to be wrapped in nothing but the finest silks in the world yet Reiner could only send an exhausted look her way.

Who'd knew that a little orphan girl from Shinganshina would be the last heir of a very powerful empire?

Mikasa cast a sidelong glance at Masamune, lying vigilantly next to his new master, as if silently patronizing her insolence towards the man that, devastatingly, has authority over her and deserves her utmost respect now.

That won’t mean she would give in that easily though.

“How long are we going to be like this?” He stopped her dead in her tracks.

She whipped her head around and snapped, “Like what? Enemies? We are.”

Reiner argued, “As of today, we’re not.” She was as hard-headed as he had remembered.

“Behind closed doors, we are.”

He lifted his head up from where it rested. “Then why did you agree to this arrangement from the first place? What is Paradis planning? How long has Zeke been working with the Survey Corps?”

She glowered frustratingly. “As I said, it’s none of your business.”

“Too late, Mikasa. You're my wife. Whatever your agenda is, it's my business now.”

“Please stop talking before I do something I would regret.”

“Alright. I just need to know ONE thing. Were there two children who were onboard that blimp in Liberio?”

Mikasa huffed yet she answered. “Yes.” She remembered those kids. The ‘miscalculations’ in Zeke Jeager’s plan.

“Are they still alive?”. His tone softened before begging. “Please, Mikasa, I need to know.”

Her eyes squinted in utter suspicion. “Why do you need to know?”

“One of them is my cousin.”

WHAT.

There was a doubtful glint in her eyes. “The boy or the girl?”

It must be the boy.

He might as well be honest and truthful with her. No more lies. “The girl. Gabi is her name.”

Damn you!

In a swift consistency of exceptional agility, she unsheathed Masamune from where it was laying and placed its blade against his neck, earning a wounded grunt from the deep end of his throat.

She gritted her teeth in restrained anger. “Why should I even care?”

There was no fear in his eyes. There was only desperation. “Mikasa, please hear me out. She wasn't even supposed to be on that blimp!”

“She did and because of that, we lost Sasha! It was her hands that pulled the trigger on the gun that killed my only best friend.”

By accident. The bullet was actually aiming for Jean. Not her.

He grabbed at the pale wrist which was holding the blade on his throat, his fingers landed on the smaller family symbol tattooed on the skin there. “One of you killed my best friend, ate him, has his Titan and had used that power to attack Marley.”

“You attacked Paradis first!”

He would not let her ignore his reasonings. “You want to hold me responsible for my little cousin's action, but I dare bet that you had saved someone important from dying using Bertolt’s titan.”

“How dare you!” How could he even know that they sacrificed his best friend to save their own?

“We were only kids the day we breached the walls. We were only THREE stupid kids following orders! But of course, it would be nothing compared to a cavalry of armed Titan slayers, the Colossal Titan and the Founding Titan to kill thousands of Eldians in Liberio. Now, tell me, Mikasa, who has it worse right now? We can argue about this whole night and I won't even finish half of my side of the story.”

Mikasa tried to wrestle her wrist out of his firm grip to no avail, considering she was a lot stronger than he was. Reiner was quick in grasping her other free hand, blocking its attempt to push herself away from him. Both of his hands tightened their grips against her wrists, not too hard that he would hurt her yet still refusing to budge, even though he was aware that his strength was no match against her Ackerman blood.

However, it was also her guilt that was holding her back and he knew it absolutely well.

He jerked his hands inward and pulled her body gently towards his in the process. The smooth fabric of her silk kimono created a dangerous friction against his own shirt, already untucked from the waistband of his light brown breeches. The floral scent on her skin was a relentless tease working its devious spell from the tip of his nose all the way up to his deranged brain.

As beautiful as she is, she was still an unwilling ally in this arrangement and one wrong move could rip his head off for good.

She gritted her teeth. “You're pathetic if you think a simple vow could hold me back from hurting you.”

“I am begging you to please help me return to Paradis so I could retrieve Gabi and Falco before the allied nations decide to torch the island in six months.”

“No.” Her tone was rigid and absolute, even though she realized that he had blurted out the possible danger heading towards the island.

“Ackerman, please, I'll do anything! I just want to bring my cousin home to her family. The kids do not deserve to die on that island and you know it!”

“Then do this: stay out of my life.”

Her sentence was the last blade that slashed the titan's neck as he used the weight of his body to push her smaller, slender frame against the surface of the velvet settee. His amber eyes darkened to a deeper golden hue, his voice drawled in a low growl that would sooner make her defenses come undone unwillingly. “Mikasa, as of today, I have the authority to exercise my right as your husband. You’ve made a vow to me. I could take you, right here and right now, I can do it without any remorse because my people's future depends on how soon I can put a child in your belly and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. Yet I won't do that to you. We both have suffered enough. I am not asking much but only for you to help me return to Paradis to bring the kids home and I will do anything that you ask. I would even surrender my Titan to Paradis if it assures their return.”

Her empty heart beat a lot faster inside her chest as her breathing became heavier with a combination of constrained anger and uncertainty as she looked at the same man who used to have a gentle temperament that she had witnessed before on the dirty streets of Marley's capital. The bottom of her yukata parted open unintentionally during her struggle while the ties that bound the thin fabric together threatened to unravel herself to the man who has the right to claim her tonight. “I should've never hesitated on that wall five years ago. I should've killed you!”

He moved his head forward, inching closer to her face, daring her to stop him. “I wish that you did. You would've saved me the trouble of living this shitty, miserable life. Even I was too much of a failure to pull that trigger on myself. To think that would've been the easy way out. I could try to do it again right now  to give you that satisfaction but I know I would only fail again.”

The raven-haired young woman blinked her eyes in disbelief at the man lying on top of her right now. Now that their faces were only a few inches away from each other, she could see the aging lines on his scruffy, lightly-tanned skin, the shadow of aftershave and the unshed tears on his lids. “What-”

-is he saying?

“I AM a pathetic piece of shit! You really should've killed me. I'm so tired of everything that the only thing I want right now is to just die in peace. Knowing you, you won't even give me that!” A single drop of tear ran down from the corner of his left eye.

Kami-sama, what should I do…..

This would be a perfect opportunity for her to kill him and blame it on his heart when the morning comes but why couldn't she do it. Again?

If only they had this conversation five years ago, maybe things would've been different for everyone.

No one would have died so easily.

Mikasa was struggling against his grip and found her opening as she felt the weakening hold against her wrists. “St-stop…”

Reiner then gripped the sides of her head as he whispered so desperately close against her lips, his larger and heavier build a dangerous obstruction weighing down on her own lighter form. “I'm begging you, Mikasa. I’m really, really done with living. Kill me, please. I know you can get it right this time.”

“I said stop!” She quickly struck the back of his neck using the side of her open hand and breathed a sigh of relief as his now unconscious head landed unceremoniously against the side of her neck.

What in the world just happened?

Her body was shaking just like her hands did five years ago. She should've been glad to witness her enemy crumbling down in front of her, expressing his personal desire for death by her own two hands yet her heart was thumping hard in protest.

Everything is so confusing right now.

She should be happy to know that he's been suffering after all these years.

Yet why? Why did she feel even hollow than she was before?

Her chest suddenly registered the much heavier weight of the figure on top of her. The cold night breeze slipping through the window panes prickled the exposed skin of her legs, a telltale evidence of their earlier struggle. Tiny dots of goosebumps began to appear as her body shivered, making her feel more vulnerable than she ever was. That small gust of wind did a very amazing job in amplifying the masculine pine fragrance coming from his scorching heat.

That damn scent of his.

Mikasa took in a long, tormented breath.

How could something so clean and pure come from someone broken like him?

And why wasn't she surprised to know that it'll be her, who would be carrying the groom to the bed instead?

She was in a little way, relieved. The night could've ended a whole lot worst.

She could have ended up maiming him to the point where he would need more than a month to regenerate himself.

Or he could have ended up getting away with her dignity and she would have been powerless to stop it because of a stupid vow.

“Milady?”

Shit.

The young bride lifted her head up to see the meek figure of her handmaiden and responded to the newcomer hesitantly. “Akane? Now's really not a good time.”

Her nimble hands were quick to wrap themselves around Reiner's unconscious figure in a mock embrace, not wanting to reveal their earlier altercation to one of her handmaidens.

“I truly apologize for the intrusion, milady and milord but I'm only here to bring supper. I did knock several times but I believe you both were in the middle of-”

Mikasa closed her eyes in embarrassment. “Thank you, Akane. You can just leave them on the table.”

Akane obediently did as she was told and quickly scurried away in panic, afraid she might have caused discomfort to her mistress.

“Please do lock the door on your way out.”

“Yes, milady.”

Great, by tomorrow morning, the whole mansion's going to be buzzing about this.

The moonlight slipping through the partings of the curtains on the windows of the medium-sized guest room illuminated the two figures entangled on the satin-covered four-post bed. The light source from the lanterns on both sides of the bed cast two black shadows against the stone walls, their movements were telling a story of a rather intimate nature.

Echoes of moans and whimpers resonated against the walls, as the man tightened his hold against the waist of the woman sitting on top of him, grunting as he felt a continuous wave of pleasure flowing through the point where their bodies were joined. His hands gripped hard against the pale, milky skin of the woman's shapely curves.

“Fuuuuck, only you know how to make me feel this amazing,” grunted Porco as he thrust his hips upwards to meet the steady, smooth movement from the beautiful woman on top of him. Pieck rested her hands against Porco's shoulders, crying out in painful, yet insatiable pleasure as his warm hard member pulled in and out of her in a quick and slow, teasing combination of rhythm.

“Harder, Pokko. Please!” Pieck gushed, the ends of her long dark ponytail waved uncontrollably against her glistening back as her lithe yet petite body bounced on top of her lover's muscular form. Her fingers clawed against his pectorals, the tips of her nails scraping teasingly against his nipples, eliciting another long moan from the Jaw Titan holder.

Their bodies would naturally seek each other during their times of need, like they always do. Even in a foreign land, they had no shame in tearing each other's clothes off as soon as they disappeared behind the door of their designated guest room. Pieck was always the proper lady but even she could not deny Porco's desire, induced by the stress from the events earlier today.

She had been feeling it too.

However, for some inexplicable reason, Porco and her had been going at it even longer than what they were used to. Not that she was complaining but she was getting a bit concerned for Porco. Despite her legs already feeling like they were about to pop out of their joints, she could really, really use a washroom break right now. Their lovemaking had never been THIS long.

Sure, their Titan powers gave them the additional energy more than regular humans, a fact that she and Porco loved to take advantage of, but tonight, even with the fast and heavy thrusting, Pieck couldn't help but feel that Porco's mind was not really here inside this room.

Porco stopped mid-thrust, moving one of his hands from her waist to her face and asked, “Pieck, what are you thinking about?”

She shook her head and replied, “You.”

Porco's light brown eyes glinted in the ray of the lantern lights. “Come here.” He pulled her face closer to his and bit gently into her thin lips. His tongue followed suit, prodding through the kiss, sensually looking for its counterpart as his own member down under mirrored his mouth's actions. Both searching through its respective warm, wet passage in a quick burst of sinfully delicious frictions.

Soon after, Porco could feel the increasing sensation from the hardness of his shaft, and he knew that his body was almost ready to release its load. “Pieck, I'm really close.”

Pieck moaned heavily in response. “I’m coming too, Pokko. Pull out now?”

Porco's head shook languidly, trying to delay yet again. “Ugh, wait, in a bit, Pieck.” She smiled and decided to make things easier for her. She lowered her head and began to rain kisses against Porco's neck, biting that very small spot behind his ear. His weakness.

He grunted in between his heavy breathing. “Damn, girl. Only you could do this to me.”

She whispered into his ear. “Do you like it when I do that?”

“So fuckin’ much!”

“Good.” Her head shot up, licking her lips and looking at him sharply in his eyes. “There's more from where that came from.”

Except that in that particular moment, it was not the face of his long-time lover, but it was the face of the very one person that had struck fear in his heart.

All he could see was the short-haired, pale and cold visage of one Mikasa Ackerman, complete with the indifferent yet deadly look on her face just like that night in Liberio.

“Oh fuck!”

Panic, Porco switched their position and accidentally came inside Pieck in the process. His body shook as he released his seed all the way inside the young woman, both ended up confused by the aftermath of their lovemaking.

Pieck struggled to catch her breath and said, “Pokko, what happened just now? You're always careful.”

Porco was helpless. He felt like a giant lump was stuck in his throat and it was getting harder for him to breathe.

Shit! Why the fuck would I be thinking of her at a time like this?!

Porco couldn't imagine how much harder it would be for Reiner to have to go through all that just to save their people.

Titan shifters could never sense pain from any damage inflicted on their physical Titan form but Porco still couldn't shake away the taste of Mikasa Ackerman's blade against his Titan's hind legs. It felt no different than a lingering unpleasant aftermath of a near-death experience. Like a noose hanging around one's neck, waiting for the end to come when the rope tightens.

Meanwhile Reiner had survived not one, but three encounters with the girl.

Porco could only hope that his best friend will survive the wedding night with his terrifying new wife.

“I hope Reiner would make it through the night,” remarked Porco, out loud.

“Do you think they are, you know like us, right now?” asked Pieck out of curiosity and concern.

“Maybe not. But can you imagine the hate sex they might be having if they were? I wouldn't be surprised if Reiner lost a hand, a leg and his head by tomorrow morning.”

They both shuddered at the thought and they instantly clung to each other in a much-needed comfort.

Mikasa found herself rooted in front of the large doors to the office, belonging to the queen of Paradis. She was hoping she could drop by for a visit and catch up with the young queen. It has been several weeks since they last had an audience with Historia and Mikasa had found herself missing the blonde-haired girl. Imagine the surprise when she realized that the doors to the queen's office were unguarded.

After several knocks with no response, Mikasa let herself in, a concern crawling up her heart in regards to the queen's safety. The writing-table was unoccupied, only paper works and documents remained, some of them being left hastily unfinished.

As Mikasa rounded the table, she couldn't help but overhear hushed voices conversing in secrecy on another side of the room, their identities hidden behind a large bookcase.

“I don't think this is a good idea.”

Mikasa heard the queen's soft voice from afar.

“It's not fair to Mikasa if we do this!”

'Wait, do what?’

“Only if she knows about us!,” came the all familiar voice that she knew by heart.

‘Eren?’

“Eren, please understand. She's my friend. I can't hurt her like this!”

“We don't choose who we love, Historia. I love you. Don't you love me too?”

“I do, Eren but Mikasa-”

“Will one day understand. For now, we'll keep it a secret from everyone. Even Armin.”

There was a slight pause before it was followed by the unmistakable sound of her two friends in an intense lip-locking.

'Eren, how could you??’

After all that they've been through together?

Mikasa found herself burying her face into the crimson scarf around her neck, trying very hard to stop the tears from falling down her face as she slowly retraced her steps back to the door.

She felt awful and unwanted.

She also felt like her heart just broke in two.

“Eren….why…..”

Reiner woke up in the still of the night in the dark room with a pounding ache against the back of his neck. The breeze from the parted windows was a chilling caress against his nude torso. Last he remembered was, him trying to provoke Mikasa into ending him and she must've knocked him out cold in response.

He didn't know if he was more glad or regretful.

“Eren….no…..,” came the whisper from the person lying next to him. Even in the moonlight, it didn't take long for Reiner to recognize the restless sleeping figure next to him on the bed, her erratic movements due to her dreams projected similarly restless shadows against the bed's canopy.

A flicker of light, the color of the sunset, caught his attention. It was almost the same light that follows after a Titan's transformation. It seemed to be manifested on the side of his bride's head for a quick second before it disappeared.

His natural reaction was to reach out to her and to see if she was alright but now, he had lost that privilege as a friend. Even as her husband, he would need to earn her trust again before he could even come close to her. There might be less than an arm's length of a distance between them on this bed, but he knew that they were worlds apart from each other.

After taking two glasses of the wine from the nightstand, he drifted back to sleep, his worries cast aside until the sun rises in several hours.

When it did, he was not surprised to see that her sleeping figure was no longer next to him. The only thing she left behind was traces of her perfume, her warmth and a questionable tiny dark red spot on the satin sheet that suspiciously looked like blood.

It could only mean one thing.

Did he?

He checked his own body for anything out of the ordinary. He was clean, with no bruises or marks or anything. He was still in one piece.

If it wasn't his blood, then could it be hers?

Wait a minute....did they?

He can't seem to remember anything at all.

Reiner then lifted his body up from the bed, eventually confirming the state of undress he was in, befuddled with more questions than he ever had compared to the night before.

He groaned in disbelief.

How was it so easy for people to strip him of his clothing in his state of unconsciousness again?

A/N: Thank you for bearing with another long read! Pardon for the inclusion of the infamous line inspired by Cersei Lannister and also a shameless nod to a scene from my first ReiKasa fic, "Twilight Blue".

So, I have planned out what next chapter is going to be but as per the comment from one of my amazing readers, I think I would love to incorporate some scenes from the recent manga chapters into this fic. For that, I'll need to wait and read what Isayama offers in chapter 111 that will be out soon. I have a gut feeling that the current Marley trio are already in Paradis, so this fic will definitely include that idea and change a tiny bit of the plot that I have originally mapped out for As You Are. But it won't affect too much that's for sure :)

Thank you once again for reading and please do keep the long comments coming! If you feel like making this hopeful writer a lot happier, please do drop an anonymous ask/message on my Tumblr page! I love to hear more from all of you awesome people out there. Do let me know which parts of this chapter is your favorite <3

Next chapter: Mikasa realizes that there is no greater power than the power of goodbye.

Chapter Text

A/N: Hello to all of you lovely people who are still reading, supporting and still tolerating my rare odd shipping tendencies in my small corner of the world! First things first, I owe everyone a big apology for the delay of chapter four. Family and work needs me more in these past two months. But now things have gotten a bit lighter and I can breathe a bit easier, please have this chapter as a gift for you wonderful people out there! (Praying that I would be able to upload chapter five very, very soon to make up for my absence) I think there is also a reason why the Universe wanted me to work on the updates a bit later: look at what chapter 112 gave all of us. Total heartbreak I tell you and it has only inspired the events in the progress of As You Are.

Apart from that, as proven in chapter 111 of the manga, the premise that I'm proposing though As You Are will, in a way, contradicts the original intention by the Azumabito family (and sadly, their family status in Hizuru itself) but please do bear with me as this fic is already deviating from canon since chapter 108. However, I could not resist including a very major scene in the recent chapter 111 (and 112) that would actually be very pivotal for the developments of this fic. Funnily, Isayama has no idea how long I have envisioned for these particular chapters to happen for real in the manga and alas, the main man made it into the pages.

Before we continue the story, allow me to share my customary appreciation to my amazing reviewers.

LordAkira18 - I am very sorry I wasn't able to reply to your beautiful, supportive comment immediately. I read it through email without a doubt and your review came on the morning of my birthday. It was a great birthday gift for me on that lovely fifth of November. Thank you so much! You took the time to read every line of the story and leave detailed comments that I could only dream of to ever receive from a dear reader. Thank you once again! Amazing observation and I truly love the way you delve through Mikasa and Reiner’s respective views in an individual perspective. I am relieved that I had delivered that the way I intended it to be. I always look forward to your comments. Stay awesome, ok? <3

RubyL - Thank you so much for your beautiful support and for checking in with me from time to time with your thoughtful, kind & motivating comments. For every day that I am unable to finish a chapter update, I died a little bit on the inside too hehe But you're amazing and I won't be able to appreciate it enough! I love that you paid extra attention to the tiny details I’ve written into the story - side characters, metaphors and such. I couldn’t agree more when you said that there is no side which had it worst. Both sides are very similar that it sounded a bit unfair when Reiner threw the question out loud to Mikasa. Both are carrying an overbearing guilt and I am patiently building towards the right moment when they would truly both be free to let go and embrace each other - figuratively and literally of course ;) Thoughts like yours are what made the time writing this story absolutely worth it :)

ZethAmsel - One of my best girl & partner in crime! I am so glad you love the last chapter, my dear. Your enthusiasm keeps my passion of writing this story burning bright. Thank you for feeding my muse by sharing awesome ReiKasa fanarts from very rare, talented artist out there. This chapter’s for you <3

Amaranthos - My dear, thank you so much for taking the time to read and leaving your wonderful thoughts on the previous chapter. As mentioned, that little girl represents the shipper in me hehe Oh yes, to be honest, I really couldn’t wait when I would finally be able to write their first time BUT the build up will absolutely be worth the wait. I want the old playful, young Reiner to emerge from beyond and Mikasa will be the reason for it as she will be the one to witness both the old and a newer side of Reiner at the same time. Gabi would be the key to bringing them closer after this chapter onwards. I can hardly wait to write a ReiKasa smut myself but I have to refrain myself at the moment, and it might be a challenge soon haha

This is a Christmas gift to all of my dearest readers out there, I present chapter four which is inspired by Lord Huron's The Night We Met (featuring Phoebe Bridges)

Also, I must forewarn all of you that this will be another super long chapter, (please don't throw your pitchforks at me! xD) take your time over the holiday season to read through this chapter. (I can't help it. Isayama gave me so much to write on hehe) It'll be a nice read while you're all bunched in warm blankets and delicious hot drinks after a nice Christmas dinner with your loved ones.

I also created a playlist for this story, please do make this writer feel more loved by checking it out on Spotify: ReiKasa’s As You Are Tribute

Chapter Four

The Night We Met

I am not the only traveler

Who has not repaid his debt

I've been searching for a trail to follow again

Take me back to the night we met

Her strong steady footsteps echoed against the walls of the mansion in the early hours of the morning. The skies were still dark, the nocturnal insects were still buzzing when she passed by the open patio connecting the dining hall to the private wing where the matrimonial chamber is located.

Mikasa felt her spirits were slightly elevated after the conversation that took place between the elders of Hizuru's most reputable family over very early breakfast. She believed that a sliver of hope was beginning to dawn on her horizon over the outcome of their discussion.

There was a content smile on Kiyomi Azumabito's face as the whole table turned their heads around to greet the young bride at the entrance to the dining hall. Mikasa bowed down to her elders, from Kiyomi to Lord Hosokawa and his wife, Lady Kaede, Kiyomi's second cousin.

“Good morning, Your Highness. Did you manage to sleep well?,” Lord Hosokawa asked, good-naturedly, to which he was hushed by Lady Kaede in embarrassment. “My Lord, please. One does not ask a new bride about her sleep the morning after her wedding night.”

Kiyomi smiled rather coyly. “Oh Kaede, you don't need to be so discreet when you’re also dying to know whether the young Lord is up to our expectations or not no?” She directed her hawk-like gaze towards her youngest kin and continued without apprehension. “Lady Mikasa, did Lord Reiner perform his duties well last night?”

'Miss Kiyomi didn't waste her time in getting straight to the point, does she?,’ sighed Mikasa to herself.

Both of the women turned their gazes towards her, anticipating or more like, demanding a response from her. While Lord Hosokawa continued to sip his tea and reading through a parchment of documents: public information without a doubt.

“He did.” Mikasa forced a smile on her face, not wanting to be disrespectful in any way and nodded gently with downcast eyes. Her left hand tucked away several loose strands of hair slowly behind her ear, emphasizing the way her short tresses plastered against her neck and skin; flush and damp, evidence of an early bath, which sent a much hidden meaning that the elders understood very well.

Lady Kaede beamed, her hands clasped together in a prayer. “Oh may the heavens bless this beautiful couple with a prince or a princess soon! Lord Reiner is the perfect match for our Princess indeed.”

Mikasa prayed to Izayami that the older women won't be able to tell that she was lying or even asking her to elaborate on the previous night. She even made sure the finger that she sliced late last evening before she fell asleep was hidden in her own fist. She could only hope the maids would not be scrutinizing the blood stain on the bed sheet this morning and could miraculously identify whether the blood was from her finger or …...somewhere else. Just thinking about that particular word made her blood rushed up to her cheeks.

Lady Kaede, the ever passionate woman and a self-proclaimed romantic at heart that she was, cooed while clutching her chest in endearment. “Ah, young love. Look at our dear child all blushed up. I mean, with a handsome, virile husband like the young Lord, I am actually surprised that you're already here and awakened.”

Lord Hosokawa cleared his throat. “Kaede, please. You're making the princess uncomfortable.”

“You have chosen well, Lord Hosokawa,” nodded Kiyomi towards the military veteran in approval.

“I have done nothing but only attempted to show the young Lord the path that is waiting for him should he’d like to choose a peaceful future. Izanagi is the one who moved the young Lord's heart for our Princess, Lady Kiyomi.”

The family matriarch’s expression suddenly became shrouded with an unquestionable  gloom. “I am glad that he will serve his purpose a lot sooner than what we expected. Lady Mikasa, please have a sit. There are several news we feel that you should hear without any delays.”

The young heir took her place on the empty seat next to Kiyomi, nodding a small thanks as Shiori-han appeared from the direction of the kitchen with a small bowl of miso-shiro, warm rice and grilled saba. Mikasa decided to only sip on her warm jasmine tea instead. Even after more than a week in Hizuru, she still couldn't get herself used to the heavy servings the locals would serve as their first meal of the day.

Shiori-han dropped her head down and asked in a hushed whisper, “Did everything went well, milady? Was Lord Reiner a considerate husband?”

Mikasa could only muster a weak nod and confirmed in a low voice, “He was. More considerate than I thought he would be.”

She was technically not lying. Reiner had been extremely considerate of their situation. They have both survived their first night together. Alive. That was an achievement in itself that she would not take too lightly.

Kiyomi continued, thus breaking the short conversation between her ward and her household matron. “Lady Mikasa, now that the celebration has been done and over with, I'm afraid this is where the real work needs to begin for the wheels of our plan to be set into immediate motion.”

Her gunmetal eyes looked up from the surface of the light green clear beverage inside her porcelain cup to the older lady's face, having an impending feeling that she might be receiving another bad news from her birth land across the seas.

Kiyomi nodded, prompting Lord Hosokawa to push a parchment towards her direction on the smooth surface of the table. It was quite different from the one before, where the earlier one was plain and void of any ink, the documents in front of her carried the formal wax seal of a symbol Mikasa had only seen once in her whole lifetime.

A week earlier, to be precise.

It was the symbol of the World's Allied Nations Council. Only those who had been in direct audience with the council would identify the image of a pair of doves carrying a garland, signifying peace. The council strives to maintain unity between all the nations across the seas. It was the very same council, whose members had opposed Kiyomi's plea to open its doors to Paradis the year before and seemed very adamant in heeding the declaration of world-wide war against the secluded island by the deceased William Tybur of Marley.

“Your Highness,” Lord Hosokawa began to offer a much needed explanation, “we have splendid news. The council is extremely pleased with the union between Hizuru and Marley, in particular, upon knowing the marriage between you, an Eldian from Paradis and the noble heir to Hizuru and Lord Reiner, an Eldian and a subject of Ymir from Marley, was a success and it fulfills the condition that the council has set during our initial discussion last week. They consented to the onset of a peace treaty between Marley and Paradis with Hizuru as the mediator. However, regarding the other condition, well-that is something that we can only push forward once we have had an audience with the Commanders and the Queen of Paradis for further negotiation.”

Kiyomi interjected, “Lady Mikasa, we would need to set sail for Paradis before the sun rises soon to relay this news and to ensure both Jeager brothers that there is no longer a need to trigger the 'Rumbling’”

Mikasa gave a firm nod in return. They need to leave Hizuru before their guests from Marley do.

Lady Kaede's face contorted with confusion as she looked at her husband. “My Lord, what about the young Lord? Won't he be asking if Lady Mikasa is not on their ship back to Marley later?”

The wise, experienced naval leader of Hizuru exudes warmth in his response to his beloved wife through his words and through his hand as he reached out for Lady Kaede's face. “I have entrusted Takeshi with the responsibility to lead the Hizuru fleet to Marley and he will personally be Lord Reiner's official liaison. He would know what needs to be done. Have faith in our son, Kaede.”

Lady Kaede nodded with relief but her eyes spoke of worry for her eldest son, Takeshi, upon knowing that for the umpteenth time she will have to see her son being sent away from his home, his own wife and his parents for duty. She knew that this time, Takeshi would have a heavier burden on his shoulders. As much as she was slightly perturbed with the arrangement, it was indeed in the blood of the Hosokawa family to be the protector of the future heir of their ruling family and to ensure the continuation of the Azumabito bloodline.

And then I can tell myself

What the hell I'm supposed to do

And then I can tell myself

Not to ride along with you

She was glad when she opened the door to her chamber and found that Reiner was still fast asleep on the bed. She had to make sure she would get herself on board the ship to Paradis soon before the sun rises in the west. She has to make haste in delivering the good news to Hange, ensuring two innocent children would be able to return back home to their families and preventing from an all-out war on Paradis.

After setting the breakfast tray Shiori-han had prepared for him on the side table, Mikasa wasted no time in changing into a plain white button up blouse with a dark blue silk overcoat and finely pressed dark grey long skirt, all while her eyes were fixated on Reiner's sleeping figure, afraid that he would be stirred awake due to her movements. She retrieved the dark crimson scarf she had stowed away and another item that she must not forget to carry with her at all times since yesterday.

The heels of her boots tapped gently against the cold tatami mat towards a simple weapons rack where the three family blades were resting, taking extra care not to elicit any form of sounds. It was obviously not because she was concerned she would disturb his slumber. It was primarily because she was not ready to have a rerun of last night’s confrontation.

Or she was not ready to face the shift of her own perspective towards her new husband's predicament.

He had gone through nothing short of suffering since the day he left Paradis and Mikasa couldn't-no, wouldn't find any sort of enjoyment upon learning that fact the night before. She wouldn't wish for anyone's misery even if it was towards her own former enemy.

Her destination reached, she bowed down gently towards the three katanas as a greeting and out of respect right before reaching for the blade nestled in a black colored sheath, with a matching velvet wrapping. Mitsunari will be accompanying her in her journey back to her real home.

As soon as her body moved towards the door, her feet stopped dead in their tracks as his sleeping form began to turned slightly, the blanket moved further down, eventually unraveling his nude body as an unexpected aftermath.

It caught her by surprise.

Oh dear...

She began to doubt herself and her inability to tear her eyes away as the light from the single burning lantern highlighted the intriguing contours of his chiseled chest, the very tight outline of the firm muscle on his sculpted torso and the serene, peaceful look on his harmless yet oddly enticing face in a roguish manner...

She was well aware of the drastic change to his build from the time when he was only a young soldier in Paradis but not to this level - exposed and uncovered to her eyes. Without any intention, she had a sudden realization that his body was also smooth and devoid of any marks or scars.

Well, he is a Titan shifter after all, Mikasa. Of course his body regenerated well after every injuries he has ever received.

She remembered she didn't feel as flustered as she was during the moment when she had to move him from the settee to the bed last night.

Since when she could be from judging to appreciating in a blink of an eye?

“Milady, a dutiful wife must always be truthful and never cease to seek her husband's blessings in everything the she does. As much as you loathe him, that man is now holding the highest position in your life and you shall not disrespect him in any way.”

Shiori's words lingered at the back of her mind, a resonating string of wisdom embedding itself into her subconscious. Yet as much as she struggled to force herself to adhere to that fact, she couldn't find herself succumbing to every single expectations towards her obedience ever since her return to Hizuru.

For some strange reasons, she felt strongly pulled towards the bed but she quickly shook her head instead, pushing herself back to the door.

She would like to own this moment for herself.

She wouldn't bow down to that man lying on the bed they had shared together for the very first time only the night earlier.

Not today.

Not tomorrow.

Not so soon.

Even after his unexpected breakdown, it didn't mean that she would open her mind-or arms that easily for him.

The whole world is expecting her to be a dutiful, obedient wife but Reiner should've known that it won't even be the last thing he could ask of her.

But maybe just for now, she would put her hatred on hold. They have bigger, more important priorities that take precedence over their own personal feelings after all. Mikasa might have assumed a new role, political in nature, but she had never stopped dedicating her heart to humanity.

She is still fighting for peace.

Duty might have demanded her to swear fealty to his people, though it would not rob her of her dignity nor restore her trust towards him.

With that thought, Mikasa left Reiner, who was still sound asleep on their marriage bed, with only a solemn gaze as a parting gesture instead.

She let the door shut slowly behind her with a gentle click and let out a long breath she didn't realize she was holding all this while. Her eyes closed in response as she felt a strong sense of emotion surged through her state of confusion.

“Heading somewhere, Princess?” A new voice took her by surprise. Nevertheless, she raised her gaze up until her vision landed on the last face she had ever hoped to see that early in the morning.

The Jaw Titan holder.

Behind him was Marley's only surviving female Titan shifter.

It did not escape Mikasa's perceptive gaze that these two were in an extremely close proximity to each other. Looking at them both truly reminded her of Niccolo and Sasha.

Yeah, they were definitely 'chummy’ to say the least.

She pursed her lips. “You both are in the wrong wing of the mansion. The dining hall's the other side.”

“We're just here to make sure that Reiner's still alive. No offense, Princess but we all know to what extent of damages an Ackerman could leave behind in their paths,” said Porco, his brown eyes wary of the warrior's blade in her grasp.

She sharpened her glare against the blonde-haired young man with a military undercut. “The only blood drawn was mine but that is none of your concern, Jaw Titan.”

While her remark caused the male Warrior's face to contort in bafflement, his ever silent counterpart nodded her head in understanding.

The long-haired young woman stepped forward. “I apologize for Galliard's ill-natured presumption, your Highness. He was just concern for our dear friend. He didn't mean to offend you.”

Mikasa shook her head and disagreed. “None taken.” She began to walk away but turned her head around again only to say, “He's still in bed, resting. He had a very challenging night, to say the least.”

Then she walked away, leaving them behind with more questions and suspicions than ever.

Let everyone think what they want to. It made no difference to her.

Porco and Pieck exchanged puzzled looks with each other before they simultaneously turned their heads towards the door.

'Reiner, what's your plan now?’ 

I had all and then most of you

Some and now none of you

Take me back to the night we met

I don't know what I'm supposed to do

Haunted by the ghost of you

Take me back to the night we met

She felt as if the whole world is consuming her in darkness as she was greeted with chaos when she observed the aftermath of the explosion at the top of the main military building in Karanes district.

She had just walked out of General Darius Zackley's office door. They were just discussing them getting approval to see Eren, who was still under lock and key.

She knew the moment Armin pointed out the fact that the three new Survey Corps recruits who walked past them in the hallway had no distinct clearance to be within the vicinity of General Zackley’s office, without a doubt was very suspicious in nature. Mikasa knew that something wrong was bound to happen.

She swore the heavy feeling in her guts earlier drove her to pull Armin away from the sudden blast coming from the direction of the now-deceased General's room.

The fact that Hange pulled her and Kiyomi into an emergency meeting with the remaining higher-ups of Paradis island's military, only proved her worst fears.

Everything happened so fast - too fast for her to process and it all happened in the span of several hours after she stepped on the harbor, east of Paradis. The high-pitched shrill of the explosion's aftermath irritated her sense of hearing, for a second Mikasa genuinely felt like she received the ghostly touch by the hands of Death himself. The shivers it evoked still lingered on her skin.

As she was not garbed in her military uniform, Armin made sure that Mikasa was always next to him, concerned that she would be mistaken as a civilian instead, at least by the less brilliant and more paranoid military members. As they both stood together and watched the body of General Zackley - or what was left of him anyway, they fought back a rush of pure terror from creeping up within.

“Armin, what on earth is happening right now?”

Her blonde-haired childhood friend, whose boyish face was always good-natured with nothing short of positivity, contorted in a mix of confusion and devastation. He, who was the military's finest strategist after the passing of Commander Erwin Smith, couldn't find any words to offer as an answer.

He has no fucking idea what was happening himself.

Soon after, an emergency meeting was called between the remaining military higher-ups, namely the three main division commanders of the Military Police, Survey Corps and the Garrison Regiment. Mikasa was relieved to find Lady Kiyomi already in presence, slowly making her way to the place next to her older relative after her persistent beckoning. Mikasa nodded uncomfortably when she received very questionable glances from the other military members inside the obscure, moderate-sized room. Everyone inside that room, with the exception of the Survey Corps’ Commander, was in the absolute dark about her current position on the political chessboard involving the three nations currently at odds with each other. None of them had an inkling on even the slightest amount of influence she unintentionally holds at that point in time. However, there was a pair of eyes that seemed to light up upon recognizing her presence. The glint in Jean's eyes silently bid her a wordless welcoming greet, with a touch of relief, as he settled himself straight next to Connie.

‘He would have been wondering where I might have gone to after all this while’ Mikasa could only send a silent response through the smallest smile she could give, without drawing anyone's attention. With the similar gloomy and solemn expression on everyone's faces, she couldn't risk raising any more unnecessary questions.

At that point in time, she could only hope that Eren is unharmed due to the sudden explosion earlier and that he was still in the detainment cell underground. As much as it pained her to know that Eren was still in captive, she would rather him be alive and untouched then injured or dead.

After ensuring that everyone important was in presence, Commander Nile Dawk of the Military Police division began the meeting without hesitation. “As we all know, as of today, Eren Jeager is now considered a fugitive after he broke out of his captivity using the power of the Warhammer Titan he has obtained from Marley.”

What? How?

Mikasa gritted her teeth in sheer worry and puzzlement. She absolutely didn't miss the way Commander Nile's eyes landed on her when Eren's name was mentioned. Meanwhile, Connie didn't bother to hide the accusatory look on his face as their eyes met from across the room.

“We have strong reasons to believe that the hundred former soldiers who are now siding with Eren Jeager were the ones who help orchestrate the diversion for his escape and we believe that they are heading straight to either the location of Zeke Jeager or Queen Historia. As of now, we have both targets under tight security to avoid a potential civil war.”

The main door to the meeting room was opened unexpectedly, causing all of the occupants inside the room to be on guard. When the newcomer revealed himself, Hange could be heard releasing her breath in relief.

Commander Pixis walked in calmly, hands behind his back and offered an unexpected solution. “There is no point for us to fight against our own comrades. We should surrender to the Jeager faction. What are the lives of our soldiers compared to a potential bloodbath between our Eldian brothers and sisters?”

Hange shook her head in disbelief. “Commander Pixis, are you certain that surrendering to them would be the best solution right now?”

“Do we have any other option, Commander Hange? After the ambush in Marley, the last thing we need right now is another uprising. The throne is currently vacant when the Queen is hidden somewhere, counting the days to deliver the heir to the throne and we could not afford another rebellion to happen.”

“Commanders,” retorted Kiyomi, “we perhaps may have another path that we could possibly consider.” She nodded for one of her bodyguards to step forward, with the parchment bearing the seal of the Council of World’s Allied Nations, handing them over to the direction of the three Commanders.

“Lady Mikasa was with us in Hizuru for the past eleven days and she has approached the Council of the World's Allied Nations as an heir to the Hizuru empire who was born to an Eldian father in Paradis. She has pleaded for Paradis’ survival and safety. She opened up their eyes and ears and successfully convinced the Council to review our plea, when I have failed last year.”

There were a choruses of What's and How's echoing across the room the moment Kiyomi revealed the well-kept political secret involving one of Paradis’ most prized soldier. Even Pixis, who would always have a calm composure on his face, was taken aback with the revelation. He and the rest of the top brass were aware of Mikasa Ackerman’s blood relations to the Hizuru ambassador, but not the extent of its pivotal significance to their island's international security.

Kiyomi continued offering the rest of the unexpected news. “The Council agreed to the peace treaty between Paradis and Marley that Lady Mikasa plead for with several conditions. With the Queen’s absence and General Zackley's untimely demise, I believe the three main military Commanders here would be the best people for us to present this parchment with.”

“Pardon me for the sudden inquiry, milady Azumabito, what makes you think that Paradis and Marley can set aside century-long differences that easily? Where does the Council  even come from?” Came the question by the Garrison's veteran commander.

“The Council has been established the moment the old Eldian kingdom had fallen and King Fritz took refuge in Paradis. His actions in building a wall was an act of retaliation against all potential peace negotiations from the Council. For decades, the Council had been keeping an eye on both nations, until the day Marley began their first attack on humanity after more than a hundred years.”

Kiyomi's explanation caused the other Commanders to give a wary glance towards each other, unsure of the fresh information received from the international ambassador. Even Hange was unsuccessful in concealing a look of pure surprise on her face.

“So, you're saying that the Council agreed to hold their further actions from executing Lord Tybur's war declaration and become the mediator to the first official peace treaty as long as both nations adhere to the terms set by the Council?”

“Yes, Commander Zoe. As it indirectly involves Hizuru as our government is taking the risk by offering our country's firm monopoly of the world's largest perishable trading as a collateral. As of yesterday, we have fulfilled one of the four conditions listed in the terms.”

Nile and Pixis moved towards each of Hange's sides to also look at the parchment in the female Commander's hands.

“This is absurd,” remarked Nile, uncertainty apparent in his voice as he digested the contents listed in the official documents. He looked at Hange, who did not move her eyes away from the sandy paper.

“You really surrendered Mikasa as Marley's prisoner of war??! That wasn't what you promised!” She only then looked up from the parchment. Disappointment evident in her eyes.

“Commander….,” trailed Mikasa hesitantly, drawing everyone's attention towards the young Hizuru princess. Kiyomi nodded calmly as she offered her justification, indirectly reminding Hange of their private conversation inside her office eleven days prior. “On paper, Madam Commander, she was to be offered as a prisoner of war to the Marley government in exchange of Zeke Jeager's treason but we wouldn't be surrendering our last living heir without protecting her interest. The Marley government accepted our proposal to further establish our alliance through marriage.”

Nile Dawk scoffed at Kiyomi's explanation, ridiculing the foreign ambassador's notions as he rebuked with a bitter laugh. “So, offering one of our strongest soldiers as a bride can resolve century-old acrimony?”

“You have no idea how pivotal is Lady Mikasa's position, do you, Commander?” Kiyomi looked up at Nile with a challenging glint in her eyes, oblivious to Mikasa's silent struggle.

Mikasa didn't give a damn about what the others think but she never wanted for Armin and Jean to find out like this. Especially when she realized the sheer look of surprise on her childhood friend's face and the dejected look reflected on Jean's exhausted face.

She stood up abruptly and bowed down to her older relative. “Miss Kiyomi, allow me to explain this personally to my former team.”

The foreign ambassador nodded her head in approval.

Bride? Former? A million number of questions ran through Jean's mind, its wheels running wild inside his head. What is Mikasa talking about?

Hange nodded in agreement. She was very keen in obtaining any progress of their discreet plan. “Very well then. Mikasa, will you explain it to us, on our way to Niccolo's eatery?”

Niccolo was slightly taken aback but relieved when he realized the guests that dropped by his restaurant was none other than the remaining veterans of the Survey Corps. They were not only Sasha's comrades, they were her best friends and one of them loved Sasha like her own sister.

He exchanged a nod of greeting with said Mikasa Ackerman.

He pushed away an out of place feeling twisting deep down inside his guts. There was no way it would be a coincidence that on a day like this, both Sasha's family and friends would be gathered at his eatery.

He shrugged it aside and pondered on the fact that the passing of the only girl he had ever loved had brought people together. Her memories would live on through the people's heart that she had touched with her beautiful soul.

“Commander, to what do I owe the pleasure of your unit’s visit today?,” greeted Niccolo as Hange dismounted her horse, right in front of the building's back entrance.

“Niccolo,” acknowledged Hange as she continued, sparing the pleasantries of the unexpected visit, “We have a grief situation in our hands and questions begging to be answered. You might the only person who could assist.”

The flaxen-haired young chef nodded nervously as he guided the soldiers through the hallway of the decorated premise. As the group trudged along the halls, their boots a silent patter against  the mahogany floor drapery, the rustic and wood theme brought about a solemn feeling inside the younger female soldier of the unit.

Mikasa, having brought along her formal military overcoat from the Hizuru transporter, quickly draped on the uniform for the guise and her safety, after persisting to Kiyomi that she would not require any security details in her own homeland. She made sure that Mitsunari was secured tightly within her overcoat, concealed from public eyes but close enough when it is needed.

As the small unit walked together along the hallway, she took a long, deep breath. She could still hear the faint sounds of Sasha's merry laughter echoing against the walls as she tricked Connie or Jean with one of her incessant jokes.

Her eyes, once again, met with Jean's dark brown irises. He quickly looked away towards their Commander who was conversing with Niccolo in a strained and stressful manner.

Jean was now visibly upset when he was worried before.

Even more so after hearing her explanation of her short disappearance. She believed that she owed both Jean and Armin a personal apology and a thorough breakdown of everything.

Everything and that includes the identity of the man whose family name she carried now.

Even if that fact would hurt them even more than they already did.

Mikasa closed her eyes in raw frustration. She was doing the exact same thing Eren did. Hurting those who loved her by keeping them away from the truth.

“Armin, can we talk afterward? There's something else I wasn't able to tell you earlier and I don't want to keep any more secrets from you since Eren isn't here. Only you would understand why.”

Armin nodded in understanding. He now knew the major sacrifice his childhood friend had to make for a peaceful future and he wouldn't let anyone disrespect Mikasa's decision in any way.

As they were led to an empty dining hall, Niccolo excused himself but not before chastising Jean and Connie playfully for even thinking of sipping a drop of the wine shipped from Marley, only accessible by the higher-ups within the military. Hange noticed the young chef's suspicious gesture but quickly dismissed it away as he disappeared behind the large double doors.

“Mikasa…” Armin called out as he stood next to the tall young woman, who was fidgeting with the crimson scarf around her neck. “Are you alright?”

She lowered her voice as she turned her face towards the blonde-haired holder of the Colossal Titan. “I need to tell you about the man that the Marley government sent to Hizuru.”

To be her husband.

Armin's sky blue eyes glinted with a mix of both curiosity  and understanding. “The fact that he's been chosen by the governing body in Marley surely is affecting you, isn't it?”

“Armin, I hope you don't think lesser of me with the decision that I've made. No one forced my hands. Miss Kiyomi gave me an option and I took it. There's so much more at stake.”

“The girl that I grew up with, who also helped raised me, wouldn't be doing something that her heart does not believe in. I know you so well, Mikasa.” Armin’s lips lifted in a calm smile, sending its merry warmth within to fill the void inside the heir of the Hizuru  empire. “Hope is a strong power and I have a very good feeling that your new husband would take great care of you. At this point, if we can achieve peace without any more unnecessary war or fighting, I would take that chance. As difficult it was for us to hear of it, it must have definitely been a lot harder for you then and now. I could only admire you for your bravery. Trust me when I told you that you would always have my support.”

Her right hand grasped frustratingly against the blood-red fabric around her neck. “Armin, you'd think differently if you know who he is.”

“I know he is an Eldian from the very same place we attacked ten days ago. Everyone has their story and differences, Mikasa. The fact that he still respected your decisions to come here and relay the message of potential peace we could achieve through all of this could only mean he wants a better future for our people.”

“But Armin, he doesn’t even know that I’m here and there’s also another thing you need to know. He's-”

Her words were cut short upon hearing a sudden, unexpected noise through the covered, thin walls. The eatery's other patrons must've been on the other side of the hallway; either it was because of too much wine or someone out there decided they want to become a jerk on that day.

The sound of tiny screams and a thud caused both of them to rise up in unease as their gazes were drawn to the interconnecting door.

The sound of scuffling continued and a concern that some young children might be in trouble, drove Mikasa forward to throw open the door with Armin following closely behind.

They were all unprepared to see the view that greeted them. In the middle of the dining hall was Niccolo, with a body of a bleeding, unconscious young boy in his arms and was waving a knife at another girl, who he obviously had shoved down to the wooden floor.

“What are you doing, Niccolo?!” Armin remained calm yet agitation was evident in the tone of his voice.

Mikasa chimed in. “They are just kids.” She quickly walked over to the young girl, who was now sprawled on the floor, bearing cuts and bruises of her own. Courtesy of the chef obviously. She gently held both ends of the little girl's shoulders and asked, “Are you alright?”

Frantic, Niccolo's voice took a higher pitch as he tried to defend his actions. “Don't be fooled by this kids. They are trained killers and soldiers. That girl is the one who killed Sasha! Mr. Blouse, you should do the honor in killing her”.

Mikasa looked down at the girl in her hold. Only then she realized that this was Gabi, Reiner's cousin. Apparently, when they both escaped their detainment, they were headed straight to the village where Sasha's family is now residing.

“Mr. Niccolo, please give me the knife.” Sasha's father beckoned for the young chef to pass him the knife. “If anything, it was my fault that Sasha died. I sent her out of the forest to venture and see what's out there. I let her out into the world. She joined the military for a reason and that reason was also the one that caused her death. If anything, I was responsible for my own daughter's decision even when she was gunned  down in enemy territory. So no, killing her killer would not solve things. We should all stop this vicious cycle.”

Mr. Blouse's wife, Sasha's mother, pleaded, “Mr. Niccolo. Please let Ben go. We need to clean his wounds.”

Jean and Connie approached and apprehended Niccolo, whose figure was already slumped in defeat.

“I'm sorry….I’m so sorry….,” whispered Niccolo, weakly. 'Sasha, what have I done?’

“MURDERER! To think that I thought of you as a friend!” Out of nowhere, Sasha's adopted sister, Kaya lunged towards the kneeling Gabi, brandishing a dagger, hellbent in getting revenge for Sasha's death.

Mikasa pulled the back of Gabi's head inwards, the little girl's head nestled against the crook of her own neck. Gabi's forehead touched the coarse, yet warm scarf around her neck. Mikasa's free hand successfully halted the blade in reflex, saving not one, but two lives at the same time.

Gabi, from losing her life to an enemy, the same way an enemy loses her life in her hands.

And Kaya, from going down an irredeemable route of vengeance.

Sasha wouldn't want either of them dead or living with hatred and down a dark path of no return.

Wordlessly, Mikasa gripped Kaya's smaller, fragile wrist - the one holding the blade and indirectly immobilizing the young girl with her strength. Kaya felt the immense force holding her back and saw the sad disapproval on Big sister's best friend, Miss Ackerman's face.

Big sister would not want her to kill her murderer.

Big sister taught her about compassion and selflessness.

And Kaya was being selfish right now.

Big sister would be hurt right now.

The silence inside the dining hall was so deafening, the tension so intense that it surrounded all its occupants with an instant solemn atmosphere.

Upon seeing Kaya's figure slowly loosening and her hand finally releasing the dagger in its grip, Mikasa called out to her. “Kaya….”

The young girl gathered the remaining courage inside and dared herself to look up at Miss Ackerman's sharp glare.

However, instead of disapproval, Kaya found an unexpected glimpse of something that was not out of emptiness.

Only forgiveness.

“Sasha saved you so you would have a brighter future. She fought hard so you would have a peaceful life.”

Connie supported her words. Regardless of how he felt about Mikasa recently, he couldn’t hold himself back from reinforcing the truth. “She fought so you kids don't have to.”

Niccolo's hand shook as he tried helplessly to wipe away the nervous sweat draining down the side of his head. “It's too late…..”

“What are you saying? What was in that wine?,” questioned Hange, as both her and Jean approached the unconscious young boy lying on the floor.

“Probably Zeke's spinal fluid…,” drawled Niccolo aimlessly and he continued to tell the horror story of how Marley successfully took down a whole enemy nation in only one night by using Zeke's spinal fluid.

“Fuck!” Connie could be heard swearing from behind. The last thing that he and everyone inside that room would ever want, was another occurrence of the Ragako village incident from five years ago.

Gabi, upon realizing what Niccolo really meant, lifted her head up in worry. Falco…..

Her eyes met the taller lady's own round, gunmetal irises. She remembered that this was the female soldier who had successfully immobilized the Warhammer Titan back in Liberio.

One of the two remaining members of the legendary Ackerman family.

One half of the last pair descended from the now-extinct clan.

All the Titan shifters whispered horror stories about the Ackermans, including her cousin, Reiner and their War Chief, Zeke.

Gabi looked up in both fear and worry. “Are you really not going to kill me?”

The Ackerman lady shook her head as a response and instead, pulled the younger girl up to stand and guided her to the conjoining room.

Meanwhile, Mikasa took in an even deeper breath. Initially, she wasn't sure where she should begin in tracking down Reiner’s missing cousin but as it turned out, Izanagi had heard her silent prayers.

There must be a reason why.

The night before, she was ready to slit her new husband's throat upon knowing that his own cousin was the one who killed her very best friend.

However, right now, she could only feel sympathy towards the young children. They were just simply misguided pawns in this meaningless war. They were victims of circumstances. They had no choice but to fight for survival.

Just like they did in Paradis the day humanity fell.

This was one of the reasons why it was important for the alliance to be established and fortified.

For innocent children to be protected, for their future to be ensured so they would not have to fight wars they were not supposed to.

So they could continue being the children they are.

She could only hope that her sacrifice would make a difference regardless.

Without any prompting, both Jean and Connie stepped forward to apprehend the emotionally unstable young cook. It was obvious to everyone that Niccolo was having a severe mental breakdown and they need to step in before more people become entangled in the mess.

Hange signaled for Niccolo to be tied up and placed under Mr. Blouse's watchful gaze until he regained his senses while she quickly ushered Jean to assist her in lifting the unconscious young boy into the large basin in the bathroom. She could only hope they would be able to clean off any remaining droplets of wine containing Zeke's spinal fluid off the kid's form. She made quick work in rinsing Ben's mouth with clean water from the pipes before cleaning the wound on his head.

Hange could only hope they were not too late.

As she and Jean made quick work of discarding Ben's shirt and pants, they submerged him in the basin filled with water and glycerin soap. The Commander used a clean washcloth to scrub away on the Marleyan boy's skin, in hope that with each stroke of the fabric, they would be able to reduce the risk of Ben absorbing Zeke's spinal fluid into his system.

“Hang in there kid,” whispered Jean underneath his breath.

Hange's visible eye looked up at his junior Squad Leader.

“We'll do our best, Jean.”

“I just want this fight to be over. So no more people would be forced to make sacrifices.”

She was not oblivious to the restrained anger that Jean was holding back. She had a feeling that it had something to do with the news that was revealed by the only other remaining female soldier in their unit.

Jean took it hard. More than anyone else.

“Everyone has to make difficult decisions, Jean. With hopes and goals towards a bigger purpose to all of this.”

“I just don't understand why Mikasa would be willing to surrender herself to the Marley government and be chained to a man she barely knew for the rest of her life? She deserves more than to be some clan's human factory!”

“She knows full well what her sacrifice would achieve in all of this.”

Jean grabbed the washcloth in his hand much harder than he was supposed to. “Commander, I was planning to ask her to marry me when all of this is over!” His hands shook in a fit of restrained anger as he looked away in shame for letting his emotions got the best of him.

Even Connie and the ever silent member of the group, Onyankopon, were taken aback with his best friend's proclamation. Jean, upon realizing his blunder, began to stammer. “She's the reason that keeps me going every day in this miserable world. She was the light at the end of this dark tunnel for me but now…..”

Hange sent a sympathetic look to Jean's way right before her visible eye met with Onyankopon’s in mutual understanding. “I am very sorry, Jean. I did not know.”

Jean continued scrubbing the young kid's back, trying his best to divert his attention away from the person who had invaded his mind even more than usual recently. All four of them continued to help cleaning the unconscious kid inside the steel basin, while Mr. Braus helped to keep an eye on the restrained Niccolo. Probably trying to make Niccolo realized that by not acknowledging their grief for Sasha's passing openly might have caused them to make questionable judgments.

Meanwhile, in the other room, the young woman who was the subject referred to by the occupants on the other side of the wall could be seen sitting at a round dining table, with Gabi to her left and Armin to her opposite. At that point, there was no animosity between them even when they were now gazing directly at the face of Sasha's killer.

“Why did you save me?,” asked the little girl towards the taller young woman.

Mikasa held back the truth hesitantly. “No reason in particular. Are you alright, Gabi?” She asked in return, her eyes looking into the kid's darker ones.

“How did you know my name?,” Gabi questioned back. There was no way anyone here would know. Unless Zeke the traitor blabbed to the military here about their real names.

Even Armin gave her an inquisitive look, his eyes searching for the same answer as Gabi did.

Mikasa held herself back from offering the real explanation. She has never lied and she won't be starting today yet it would be too soon after what went down only a while ago.

So instead, she diverted her response, “I will see to it that you and the boy will be returned to Marley very soon.”

“Are you not mad at me? I killed your close friend. I beat a guard unconscious with a rock but not that boy Falco. I want you to take him, prisoner. I deserved to be killed. Killing me should be enough right?”

Mikasa bit the insides of her lower lips, a sorrowful feeling deep in her chest.

The similarities between the little girl and her older cousin are very uncanny.

Does suicidal tendencies run in their family?

She shook her head slowly, the weary feeling inside her heart grew heavier by the hour.

It all began ever since the moment she realized who she was binding her life to.

She replied to the girl's question. “If we keep on drawing our weapons against each other, when will it ever end?”

Armin sighed. “Will you stop saying kill, kill, kill? You're starting to sound like someone we know.”

Mikasa averted her gaze to the Colossal Titan holder.

Come to think of it, seeing and talking to the girl actually reminded both of them of how much her personality resembled the missing member from their trio.

The one who walked away without any explanation.

The sound of the door opening the moment Armin was finishing his sentence took everyone by surprise.

Speak of the devil…..

It was as if the Universe would never be done in messing around with their heads, minds, and hearts.

The person who walked through the door was none other than….

Eren motherfucking Jeager.

“Ere….” Mikasa stopped herself.

Their longtime friend lifted his hand in a casual greeting but the chilling, empty, look in his eyes and the long, bleeding cut on his palm that he purposely put on blatant display, caused an alarming dread inside them.

It was finally time for them to talk.

It was not too long when the sound of someone knocking could be heard from the other side of the door, saying, “It’s time to move.”

Armin was very quick to recognize the owner of the voice. “Was that Floch’s voice? Did you come here with him?”

“Yeah…..,” answered Eren unhurriedly, despite the urgency that came from Eren’s lead follower.

Only when Eren Jeager finally took a sit on one of the chairs around the table, Gabi finally realized the true face of the monster terrorizing not only her people back in Marley but even to the people here on the island. Before, he seemed to be a frail, helpless person when now he seemed to have taken a more, terrifying, authoritative appearance.

The so-called king of the demons in this island.

The real enemy of humanity.

She looked as the blood seeping through the open wound on his palm began pooling on the surface of the table. It was an open threat to everyone. He will shift and kill everyone in the process in the event where his words were not complied to.

Eren continued his words. “I wanted to talk to you both in a much quiet setting, unlike the prison cell. We can settle Eldia’s problems without any conflict.”

Mikasa’s eyes lit up. How could she let Eren know that there is also another way?

“Hange and the others will be fine. We are just moving them somewhere else.”

Armin interjected, “There’s something you’re not telling us, Eren. What was the real reason that made you decide on your own to attack Marley? If Zeke and Yelena have really gotten you on their side. You were holding back the truth when we were at your cell and now is your chance to come clean to us.”

Unbeknownst to both of them, all while the conversation was taking place, their Commander and the rest of their units were held at gunpoint by the Jeagerists and being ushered into one of the four carriages waiting outside the building.

“I am free.” Simple was his answer and stern that he has never been. As if there was no need for him to explain, to prove, to justify his previous and current actions.

They could only give Eren a blank stare in return, puzzled by his vague response while he rambled on about whatever decision he made was out of his own free will.

Armin pressed him again. “You met with Yelena in secret the night of the railway opening, didn’t you? Has this all been your free will?”

“That’s right.”

Mikasa shook her head and argued. “No. You’re being controlled, Eren. You’re not the kind of person who would involve innocent civilians and children, even if they live in an enemy state. You’ve cared for and thought about us more than anyone. Haven’t you?” She drew in a long breath as her body shivered in helplessness. Her hand desperately moved to grasp at the crimson fabric around her neck. “You're lying, aren't you, Eren? You saved me from being kidnapped and wrapped this scarf around me out of your kindness, right?.”

“I said keep your hands on the table. I don’t need you to spout more nonsense like the day you came to see me when I was still rotting inside that cell. Did you do something that you weren’t supposed to do when you were away, Mikasa?” The Titan shifter dismissed her words heartlessly and threatened her small action, causing her to mechanically moved her shaking hand away from the fabric. Her face reddened due to the sudden aggravation, beads of tears began to pool within her lids when her hands landed flat against the table in defeat. He couldn’t possibly know, could he?

Eren continued, “I hid in Liberio and spoke with Zeke, brother to brother. I learned a lot from him. He knows more than Marley ever did.” Eren’s emerald green eyes looked at Gabi as she let out a small gasp and return to Armin’s direction. “You’re still going by and seeing Annie, aren’t you? Is that out of your own will or is it Bertolt’s?”

Eren proceeded to provoke Armin, the one with the most gentle soul Mikasa had ever known. Claiming how Armin was influenced by Bertolt's memories and feelings towards Annie, a former comrade, who turned out to be the Female Titan holder. The moment Armin’s pure Titan form consumed the previous Colossal Titan shifter, Eren asserted that Armin had become weaker mentally instead, only wanting to resolve their century-old war with only 'talking’ unlike Eren's way of execution.

Beats of cold sweat began to appear on Armin’s face as Eren’s question went straight for the figurative kill. “Wh-.....” He stuttered, unavailable to offer a logical answer, which only served to further support Eren’s ensuing claim that Armin was in fact, influenced by Bertolt’s memories.

“You weren’t soft like this before. Your judgment was always able to lead us to the answer. But every time you open your mouth now, it’s only “Let’s talk”.....you’re utterly useless.”

“Eren, what are you trying to do?” Mikasa was befuddled with Eren’s sudden taunting towards their close friend. He used to be the one who defended Armin from the local bullies when they were younger but now, it seemed to be quite the opposite.

Eren shrugged. “I’m just saying. There’s nothing further removed from freedom than ignorance.” He averted his gaze to the young woman on the opposite side of the table. “I learned about the Ackermans there, too. The reason why you’re so strong, Mikasa.”

“Turns out the Marley scholars had attempted to fiddle with the science of the Titans and in their ignorance, had accidentally created the Ackerman clan, who maintained human form but in some cases could manifest the power of the Titans. Still, the Ackerman clan was designed to protect the King and as a result, the instinct in their blood will activate once they recognized someone as a host. In other words, you only cling to me purely because of your blood's instinct.”

Eren pressed further and further. His words felt no different than the onslaught of multiple blades on her skin at the same time. “You obeyed my order at that moment when you were facing death. Apparently, when all of those conditions are met, the instincts hidden inside the Ackerman clan's blood will be awaken. Not only did this heightened your physical capabilities to an extreme, but you were also even given the experience in battle accumulated by every past Ackerman by way of the paths. All because you happened by chance to trick yourself into believing I was the host you had to protect.”

Her shoulders trembled upon hearing his words. Her gaze hidden underneath her fringe, she opposed his words and braced herself to disagree.

“You're wrong.”

“Oh, am I? How?” He questioned back, the sarcasm in his tone did not escape her observation.

She looked up, hopeful. “It wasn't by chance. I was able to become strong because of you. It was all because of you.”

He wasn't done stomping on her dreams. “Apparently, once an Ackerman awakens, they often find themselves suffering from sudden headaches. They say this happens when your true self tried to resist from protecting your host and working against it. Sounds familiar?”

A fleeting memory embedded deep inside her memories had made itself known again - the distorted version of the night they met for the very first time.

“No.” Mikasa persisted.

“What I'm trying to say is, the real Mikasa disappeared in that hut ten years ago. Leaving you behind, who's ever faithful to your Ackerman instincts.

“No-I…”

“A clan who lost their true selves, only created to follow orders. In other words, slaves.”

Armin grunted, disliking the direction of Eren's spiteful conversation. “Stop it, Eren.”

He paid no mind to Armin's warning. “Do you know what I hate the most in this world? Those who live like mindless cattle. Not having free will. Only doing what their blood tells them to do.”

Armin snapped. “Eren!”

Eren was burning with imminent hatred at that point. He wasn't going to stop. “Just looking at them made me so angry. Now, I finally understand why. I couldn't stand to look at an undoubting slave who only ever followed orders.”

It was poetic how the more blood that he sheds, the more tears she would cry for him in response.

This was absolutely not the Eren she remembered.

Gabi saw the way Ms. Ackerman's fingers trembled against the surface of the table. Eren Jeager saw them too.

“Ever since I was a kid…..……” Eren's words trailed, provoking the beating of Mikasa's heart to escalate into an erratic beating inside her already aching chest.

“Mikasa, I've always hated you.”

The tears she had been holding back for the past years when it comes to Eren had finally escaped, as her mental barrier collapsed into dusty particles that she would never be able to reassemble again. She choked helplessly as her voice croaked inside her throat, unable to comprehend the hurt she was feeling inside her chest.

Armin jumped up from his seat, holding his fist high and ready to strike. He screamed as he stood up and lunged towards the Founding Titan's holder. “EREEEEN!! How dare you!”

Yet, a hand landed on his left shoulder, halting his advance. Within a quick second, his face landed against the surface of the table with a loud bang. His sunny brown eyes lost its light upon seeing who had stopped his action.

It was none other than the very person he was defending.

“......Mikasa?”

She released her iron grip against her childhood friend's figure upon the sudden realization of what she had done. “I'm so sorry, Armin. I didn't mean to-” She apologized helplessly, not knowing the reason why her body acted out of her own accord. It was as if she subconsciously perceived Armin as a threat to Eren, proving the latter right.

Eren huffed upon observing her reflexive action. “See? All you've ever done is living according to what your Ackerman blood tells you to do. That's all you are. Nothing more than a tool to be used. You're nothing without me, aren’t you?.”

“N-no….,” She begged and she cried, but it was only perceived sideways by the person that mattered the most to her in a blank, heartless stare.

Armin took the quick opening and successfully landed a punch against the Attack Titan holder's face and Eren did not flinch, even a single bit as he saw Armin's approaching fist. The embers from a pre-shift glowed around Armin's closed hand as his knuckle connected with Eren's jaw, the force pushing the latter's body backward from his sitting position.

It didn't take long for Eren to reflexively countered Armin's melee attack with not one, but multiple punches in retaliation. He successfully forced the other Titan shifter's defensive form backward against a rack, filled with liquor bottles from the restaurant, destroying it in the process from the impact.

“Mr. Jeager!” Two of Eren's loyal followers barged through the door, fearing for their leader’s safety.

Eren dismissed their concerns right before he continued taunting his childhood friend. “It’s fine. So, Armin, we’ve never fought before huh?” He was openly mocking his weaker counterpart. “Know why that is?”

“Damn-” Armin's retaliation was halted by a strike of Eren's fist, followed by several more and right as Eren kneed Armin in his guts, Eren verbally jabbed him again. “It’s cause there's no way you could even put up a fight against me.”

Mikasa's tears ran down her stunned face as she struggled to breathe when both of her childhood friends were assaulting each other. “Just stop...Don't…,” came her weak, helpless plea. Once again, even with her given strength, she wasn't able to save, let alone stopping both of her close friends - no, family, from hurting each other.

Enough….. please.

She walked quickly to Armin's beaten figure on the floor, helping him to regain his senses.

Armin gritted his teeth before spitting out blood that was already pooling inside his mouth.

That bastard knew he would never ever shift in this building.

“As I've said, if only you'd tell me where Zeke is, there is no reason for us to fight. So just come with us. Take them away. The brat who killed Sasha too.” Eren directed his followers to restrain Armin, Mikasa, and even Gabi.

With blood trickling down his lips, Armin retorted, “And what is it you even wanted to say? Is that the freedom you wanted? The freedom to hurt Mikasa? Then, who's the real slave to a piece of shit now?”

His words received a deathly glare from the unstable Titan shifter in return, evident from the shift of expression on his cold, empty face. “Who are you calling a slave?”

Gabi, already immobilized with confusion and fear after witnessing the unexpected brawl, found herself shivering when the devil himself called out for her name, as she saw Ms. Ackerman helped her friend - the Colossal Titan holder, up from where he landed.

“We are heading back to Shinganshina. Where everything started. We would finally end everything there.”

That was what Reiner said too before this…

Mikasa wondered why would she even remembered what the other Titan shifter's past words had been.

'I wished I had never met you that night, Eren….’ With her given strength, Mikasa couldn't even fight back against the foreign hands that forced her to stand but she made sure that she held the younger girl's hand tightly in hers.

The truth in Eren’s earlier words hurt her to the core but if the instinct in her blood was indeed to protect, then maybe that was the real reason why she saved the young girl earlier.

After all, wasn't it in her nature to protect those who are important to her?

Mikasa prayed to Izanagi for the strength to keep Reiner's cousin from any harm especially if such actions would come from Eren. As much as she is yet to acknowledge Reiner as her husband, it will not change the fact that they are now bound together in holy matrimony.

Mikasa looked down at Gabi, who reminded the former so much of her younger self.

Gabi is now family and Mikasa would do all in her willpower, or what's left of it, to keep her family safe.

When the night was full of terrors

And your eyes were filled with tears

When you had not touched me yet

Oh, take me back to the night we met

A/N: Thank you very much for reading chapter four of As You Are! I just couldn't express enough of how much writing this story makes me happy and fulfilled. I apologize for my absence, I had a very challenging period these several months as I’m battling my anxiety disorder due to work stress. I felt inadequate and for every day I am unable to write, it tortured me a lot. So I am glad I managed to share chapter four as a Christmas & New Year's gift to my patient readers. Thank you very much for your continuous amazing support! I can’t wait to work on chapter five so I really hope Ch 113 will bring more scenes for me to use.

Till the next chapter! I love you guys so much and I'll be praying that the New Year will bring about positive, beautiful changes in your lives.

Next Chapter:

It was an imminent confrontation that would have saved or destroyed more and more innocent lives - Eldian or not. The unavoidable Clash of the Titans will take place on top of Wall Maria. Though this time around, the main players will be switching sides when a peaceful future is an ultimate endgame. The newlyweds will be reunited at the place where their stories first began and together, they would be standing on the same side instead of the opposites.

Chapter Text

A/N: Hello my beautiful, amazing & lovely readers! I am glad to return with a new chapter, which is a lot shorter than what I always upload but it has a good explanation for it though. Before anything, allow me to begin with my customary appreciation :)

Rochy - Thank you for reading!

Blonde Ashara - Thanks for reading & for suggesting that wonderful idea!

ZethAmsel05 - Thank you so much for always reading & commenting on my chapter updates! Your support is truly priceless to me <3

Mikasa23 - You’re always so sweet! Thank you very much but do remember to prioritize your school works first! <3

Amaranthos - I wish the man-to-man talk will happen in this chapter but it will be explored in the next two chapters, I promise :)

RubyL - One of my dearest readers who has always been there since chapter 1. I hope the new year has been nothing but kind to you, hun!

Anthony Rogers - Hi new reader! I am glad that you found happiness in my humble writing. There are just no words that could do justice in describing what I was feeling the moment I received your comment in my inbox. I am truly honored and touched. Writing helped me cope with the stress from daily life, it helped me from spiraling deeper into my anxiety and I am very touched to know that it had helped make you feel better at all. Never had I ever imagined that my writing could mean so much to someone. I am happy that it did to you. Stay strong!

This chapter is inspired by Fleurie - Hurts Like Hell and it suits the impending death of a long-standing devotion that will be the main theme for the next several chapters. My writing for this chapter has grown into 50+ pages (and still ongoing) that I have to break them down into several parts. So, without further ado, here’s Part 1 of the Clash of the Titans 2.0!

How can I say this without breaking

How can I say this without taking over

How can I put it down into words

When it's almost too much for my soul alone

I loved and I loved and I lost you

I loved and I loved and I lost you

I loved and I loved and I lost you

And it hurts like hell

Yeah it hurts like hell

Chapter Five

Hurts Like Hell

He knew better than to ever have an ounce of trust towards Erwin's murderer. He knew that it would be a matter of time before the ape shows his true colors. The moment he turned his head back, Zeke Yeager took off into the deeper part of the woods and let out a hollow scream, the same howl of a wounded animal in its final moments.

But Levi Ackerman was very aware, that wasn't a normal battle cry.

That piece of shit was calling out into the paths. Apparently, the wines supplied to all the military higher-ups and the ones that were included in this confidential, secluded detainment were poisoned with the Beast Titan's spinal fluid.

There was a small annoying twitch at the sides of his temples.

Levi gritted his teeth in a rage.

That bastard thought that he would not be spared by the transformation he initiated.

His current unit, however, wasn't spared the mercy they deserved.

One by one, each of his subordinates’ bodies exploded and in the cloud of smoke afterward, were pure Titans in its wake. Thirty explosions, thirty people, thirty pure Titans.

He could possibly be witnessing the real explanation of how the villagers in Ragako, where one of his subordinates originated from, were transformed into pure Titans at the same moment they subjugated the Female Titan holder, Annie Leonhardt.

Levi stared at the horror waiting in front of him. His hands reached out for the omnidirectional gear blades that were supposedly tucked in its sheath strapped to his thighs.

Supposedly.

His hands grasp into anything but existing blades inside the holders.

He must've left all of his blades on the forest floor from when he was keeping his eyes on the traitor from Marley earlier.

The one-half of the last two remaining survivors of the Ackerman clan took in a long, deep breath. The strands of his raven hair billowed gently against the back of his neck, the silent breeze a taunting prickle against his face as he planned his next move.

Zeke Yeager apparently has not learned his lesson the last time they went head to head in Shinganshina five years ago.

He lifted himself up and stood in the middle of the forest bed, as the newly-transformed pure Titans, fell off from the branches of the giant trees. It has been five years since Paradis was liberated from any form of Titans. And when they finally appeared, never would the Captain of the Survey Corps ever expected that the Titans were transformed from the people he had grown to care, even for a short while. Like in the way he did towards his former squad formed during the uprising to place Historia as the rightful ruler on the throne years ago.

He stood still, afloat and surrounded by the pure titans, ones who he had known, ones with the faces of the people he had conversed with, got acquainted with over these past several years.

How many times has he gone through this?

The pain of losing comrades and subordinates he had grown to care for?

From Farlan, Isabel, Eld, Auruo, Gunther, Petra, Mike, Nanaba, Nifa and Erwin?

He made a promise to Erwin's lifeless body that he would slay the monster responsible for his death, and he believes he will finally fulfill his promise today.

Using the wire from his maneuver gear, he twisted his body backward before pushing upwards as he shot the steel tip of his grapple towards a higher branch of the nearest giant tree, the grapple latched tightly in between the thick wooden body. He landed with trained stealth of a notorious Titan slayer.

He leered at the form of an arrogant Titan shifter down below. The smug bastard thought he had Levi fooled, catching him off guard but peering down, it was only a matter of time before he took the wrong step.

He is going to kill that bastard and this time, he won't be holding back.

He'll apologize to the Queen later. She punched him once. She can punch him again and again. Reprimand and suspend. Whatever he wouldn't mind anymore.

But he would rather die than let this stinking piece of shit escape and meet Eren. No one knows what they were planning now, not even Hange. Except for the Rumbling.

Which was very irrelevant in his opinion.

He'd rather return to Marley himself to send another warning.

Apparently that brat escaped his detainment with the help of his obsessed followers.

Like mindless lambs following a false God.

His memory took a quick trip back to the moment where he made a public oath inside the Supreme Court that if Eren Jeager ever showed signs of betrayal, he would personally be the one who takes him down and ensure the tri-Titan holder stays deceased.

His job was to make sure those two did not meet and if killing Zeke is the last resort, then so be it.

A loud roar broke his own pondering and his eyes widened when he saw the form of the Beast Titan grabbed hold of one the pure Titans, his fallen subordinate, pulled its head apart from its body as it growls a lot louder. Its entrails dripped with scorching Titan fluid, burning the soil on the ground.

The primal monstrosity howled in frustration it seemed.

Zeke miscalculated that Levi would either somehow be turned into one of those mindless Titans or he would've been overwhelmed by a large number of Titans surrounding him.

Really?

It was obvious that Zeke has not learned anything from their last encounter before Eren's retrieval mission in Liberio.

He braced himself as he saw the approaching figure of the Beast Titan, having begun to throw rock projectiles towards his direction.

Levi let out a small 'tch’. A same old trick from the monkey.

He hid on the other side of the large tree, facing away from the incoming assault. But Zeke predicted his move. Levi felt the branch he was standing on rumbled upon seeing the large, slithery fingers of the Beast Titan grabbed hold of the tree's large bark.

“Come out, now, Levi. You really think you can win this time?”

“Keep on dreaming, ape shit. I should've killed you in Liberio. By the time I'm done with you today, you'll be nothing but a nice ornament on Erwin's grave.”

The Beast Titan chortled in feign sympathy. “Still sore about your Commander's death? He knew that his death was inevitable.”

“I made a promise, asshole. I'm keeping that promise. That is what honor means. Unlike some people….” Levi allowed the sardonic tone of his dripped down with raw malice.

“Love to stay and chat, Levi but I have a place I need to be.”

Levi took in a deeper breath. There was no need for him to hold himself back. “The only place you're going is HELL, monkey shit!”

Levi used the force from the grappled wire to propel his body ahead, ready to face the Beast Titan head-on. Embers the color of the sunset flickered and surrounding his form.

If he was destined to have his last breath today, he'd be taking that jackass along with him.

Levi Ackerman has had enough of dealing with a Yeager's mess.

Mikasa, Gabi, and Armin were forcefully ushered out of the restaurant building into one of the carriages meant to transport the current hostages of the Yeagerists to Shinganshina.

The raven-haired prodigy sharpened her gaze at Floch, the leader of the flock (so befitting) and currently, Eren's right-hand person as he smugly barked orders for his people to secure all of their prisoners to be contained in one holding cell once they have reached the now evacuated town.

By the time they were forced out of the building, Armin noticed that Jean, Connie, and Onyankopon were already in one of the carriages. Jean looked back at Mikasa, slight relief evident on his face upon seeing her and Armin.

It didn't take him long to deduce that just like them, their comrades were also apprehended, with their hands tied - the Yeagerists had forced them to give in or face an early death.

Gabi, who was walking next to Mikasa, looked up at the older woman and said, “Ms. Ackerman….are they going to kill us?” She whimpered helplessly, revealing a contradictory insecurity. She was ready to surrender her life to the people in Paradis earlier but at that moment, she wasn't sure what she wanted anymore.

The Hizuru noble looked down at her smaller counterpart and shook her head. “Don't worry. They won't. I'll make sure that no one even lays a finger on you.”

“I'm worried about Falco. I don't see him with us. Did they leave him behind at the restaurant?”.

Mikasa had noticed the same thing herself. How could they even leave an unconscious young boy behind on his own?

‘Izayami, I plea to your powers that be, protect these children from any harm. Please send good people to the boy's direction.’

Gabi looked down and sighed. “Now I could see that we are not so much different from each other. We've been calling everyone here as demons but since I've been on this island, everyone has been nothing but kind to me and my friend….I am sorry…. I just want to go home,” whispered Gabi, tears beginning to slip between her eyelids.

“You will be home soon, Gabi. I promise.”

Armin sent a sympathetic look towards the young kid. His eyes met Mikasa's in mutual concern. Yet, a small thought appeared in his head. Mikasa's new husband is an Eldian from Marley. There could be a huge possibility that Gabi and the man might know each other.

What were the odds of the Eldians knowing who's who in the concentrated area like Liberio?

It could be high.

She knows the girl's real name. She had definitely found out about it from her husband.

Gabi was a trained child soldier in the Marley Titan unit.

Mikasa is the youngest existing heir to the Hizuru empire, who was bound to an Eldian man from Marley, who was obviously from the only concentrated Eldian population there.

The only reason for the mysterious husband to divulge Gabi's real name if she is someone important to him. Not just as a trainee but at least as a relative.

She was a bit hesitant- like she was in pain even - when she persisted to confide in him of her husband's identity.

No, it wasn't only because he is the enemy. The fact that the mysterious husband's identity had caused her tremendous grief and the way she forced herself to explain could only mean one thing.

We know who he is.

Hold on…..

Armin was very sure he had successfully placed the pieces together, just like he always does, much to the contrary of Eren's earlier exclamation.

However, a deep breath escaped his lips when he saw his childhood friend extended her body to draw Gabi in closer to her, offering comfort without being asked. Gabi buried her face into the sides of Mikasa's military overcoat. Trying to find some means of calm even for a short moment.

Not too long after, the little girl looked up when she realized the slightly hard texture hidden underneath the older woman's coat, to which Mikasa shifted her head down and whispered, “Let’s keep it between us for now. It would be of use when it's time.”

Gabi nodded, her eyes hopeful when she understood that the rebels assumed that everyone was unarmed. They didn't do a pat-down on their 'prisoners’ apparently.

Armin, who had been silently observing their exchange discreetly, found a glimmer of hope amidst the blatant fuckery of their predicament.

Mikasa would make a great mother one day.

If we could get out of this alive.

Armin's mind conjured up a random but relatable notion before quickly dismissing it, considering the current situation they were in.

“You two! Stop talking!” One of the Yeagerists scrutinized their prisoners at the back of the group.

“Hey, hey, Klaus. You don't need to be mean to the beautiful lady,” said someone from the front of the troupe.

The owner of the familiar voice made himself known.

Floch Forester.

Armin gritted his teeth in annoyance while Mikasa tried her best to hide her anger towards the sardonic former Survey Corps member who was now Eren's blind, devoted follower who idolizes the Titan shifter. The loose cannon with a sick obsession and loyalty to ancient Eldian monarchy. A sketchy weasel with a hidden motive - a motive that she wasn't able to decipher yet.

The blonde-haired shifter sent a questioning look his way. “Can we help you, Floch?”

The red-haired traitor with the swirly bangs shrugged, a smug grin on his lips as his dark eyes lingered far too long on the raven-haired woman. “You know, Mikasa...I used to be puzzled with Jean's bizarre infatuation towards you, or your one-sided devotion to Mr. Jeager, for a fact. But right now, I think I understand. The Queen is beautiful but you…..” Knowing that Mikasa's hands were cuffed behind her back, Floch dared himself to touch her face as he continued, “You have that fire that I’ve never seen in any other woman. If you ask me, Mr. Jeager made a mistake when he chose the Queen over you.”

Mikasa closed her eyes, restraining herself from responding to Floch's taunting.

“But don't worry, Mikasa. I won't make the same mistake as Eren did. You deserve a better man. One who would appreciate your fire, one who can worship you like the woman you are. I'm the only one worthy enough to be his successor and I will continue his mission in restoring great Eldia.”

What? Mikasa stared back at disbelief. It was only then she realized the truly dangerous extent of his manic obsession towards the Titan shifter. “You’re insane.”

Armin piped in, “You're disgusting, Floch.”

“Hey, hey, Armin. Don't be so possessive. You've got to learn how to share. You and Eren can't have Mikasa to yourself forever.”

Before Armin could even take a step to react, it was Mikasa herself who moved forward, looking dead at Floch's very own two eyes and said, “I have slain hundreds of Titans and disarmed four Titan shifters in my whole entire life. If you think these cuffs could stop me from hurting you, then I'd suggest you think carefully. Do not ever touch me ever again. It goes the same to this girl.”

Armin and Gabi saw the shift of expression on Floch's face but it didn't take long for the shameless weasel to worm out of his apparent blunder. He nervously chuckled as he lifted his hands in a mock defeat, truly confident that he will have the last laugh. “You'll change your mind, Mikasa. Mark my words.”

She held back the urge to knock the smug grin off his face.

Seriously, this lunatic made her felt that Reiner was heaven-sent in comparison.

Her mind temporarily drifted back to the last image of the Armored Titan holder that she remembered before she left - in a peaceful slumber.

She would hope that the Hizuru empire would keep its promise to Marley if something were to happen to her today. If she were to meet her end here, at least she would want Reiner to know that she had died while protecting his cousin.

Along the route towards her former hometown, Mikasa would not admit it to anyone, but her mind was filled by only the thoughts of her newly-wedded husband who had probably noticed by now that she would actually be in Paradis instead on the journey return to his home.

Maybe she could finally give him a small amount of peace.

She just needed to figure out a way to send Gabi to the Hizuru transporter and instruct the captain to head straight to Marley and never look back.

The rest of Paradis could end up in flames and if it means that is the only way for them to stop the real demon, Kami help her.

She'd burn along with him.

Like an ironic cycle that will never end, the forest of giant trees will once again witness the loss inflicted against humanity.

Maybe, this was how it was supposed to be.

‘Erwin, I am so sorry. I think I'm done for’

The light grey irises belonging to a fallen hero blinked helplessly at the flock of birds flying high in the skies above. So peaceful, so oblivious to the fighting that happened below.

Here lies Levi Ackerman, son of Kuchel Ackerman and an unidentified Eldian father, nephew of Kenny the Ripper. Captain of Elite Squad of Survey Corps & Humanity's strongest soldier.

That would surely make a great eulogy or carving on his tombstone.

He should've written it down somewhere and hid it in his office for someone to find as they cleared out his room to make a place for the next Captain.

It turned out he was the one who miscalculated his moves.

He was very sure he had caught the shitty bastard off guard. When he propelled forward with his super agile spinning technique, he didn't foresee the other titan lunging towards him horizontally from the side, clenching him tight in its jaw at the crossroad. He couldn't forget the surprised but much welcomed relief on Zeke's face when it happened right in front of him.

He was helpless when the Titan released him from its jaw not too long after and he wasn't able to even lift a hand when his body landed on the dry, slightly cracked soil of the forest floor with a loud thud, further aggravating his already broken ribs from the earlier clamp of the titan's jaw.

His blades went scattered across the ground, like sad petals of a dying flower. The four Thunder Spears he had earlier was lost in the surprise attack.

What would be the irony that Levi would be killed by his own titanized former comrade?

Guess his age has caught up with him after all these years.

As his exhausted form looked up towards the clear blue skies, his mind kept going back to his dearest friend's final moments. Would he even dare to look at Erwin in the eyes in the hereafter and tells him that he had died at the hands of the very same Titan that killed his superior?

He can't imagine the souls of his dead subordinates berating him for failing to protect humanity. They were good, kind people. Maybe they are waiting for him at the pearly gates of the real paradise up above.

All of the people who had left him behind.

The dark, looming figure of the Beast Titan blocked his view of the serene canvas of blue and white above. His sinister grin, like the harbinger of Death, looked down upon him in sick satisfaction.

Zeke's ghastly Titan voice cracked when he uttered, “I told you before, Levi. You haven't got a clue about what’s going to happen to this Island. If I don't meet up with Eren soon, everyone will die.”

Levi spat out the blood that had begun to leak from the inner walls of his mouth. “If I let you live,  more people would still die. It does not make a difference to me if I'm at the end of the road right now. But if I'm going to go hell today, I am taking you along with me, you piece of shit.”

“Oh? Then, no hard feelings. I'll give the ride to hell with you a skip today.” His large furry form shook with a cynical laughter he let out right before he lifted a large tree trunk, eager to smash the fallen soldier.

“Farewell, Captain Levi.”

Levi closed his eyes, waiting for the final blow that will put an end to his life.

It wasn't perfect but it had been meaningful.

His mind had imagined the picture of a raven-haired young woman whom he had known as a subordinate, rumored to be the most promising candidate as his successor, and in the recent years, he had the pleasure of knowing her as a last known distant living relative.

‘Find a good and less shitty man and carry on the family name for me, brat. Sorry I can't be that pissy, messed up uncle for your unborn kids one day.’

Levi Ackerman closed his eyes and had been ready to breathe in his last breath.

Yet, the sudden sound of a heavy form smashing against another heavy build, followed by a huge explosion assaulted his hearing.

What the hell was that?

He opened his eyes and saw the Beast Titan's form, already facing down on the ground and a hulking figure of what seemed to be another Titan with a mane, clawing the nape of the Beast with its sharp talons. He found himself staring at the back of another Titan who was looking down at the other two Titans. Its muscular figure was a dead giveaway of his identity.

Levi was very sure that the smaller Titan was the Jaw Titan. He had fought against him in Liberio not too long ago. But the other Titan couldn't possibly be the Armored Titan.

Wasn't he supposed to be ‘armored’?

He remembered that the Armored Titan was a lot bigger, its defense reinforced by the armor plates surrounding his body. However, the one that he was seeing right now, his form was much leaner, it somehow had taken on a more human-like appearance.

Had they come to aid or apprehend this asshole?

Was Zeke's plan is to infiltrate them again by double-crossing them this time?

By his luck, he had miraculously spotted one of the discarded Thunder Spears earlier from the corner of his eyes. He quickly pushed himself up, twisted his body around amidst the excruciating pain in his lower abdomen and tried to drag himself towards the unused projectile.

He could use the opening and defend himself. Maybe he could temporarily retreat and regroup with Hange's unit back in the capital.

They are in deep shit if the Marley Warriors are on the Island.

They were not supposed to be able to counter-attack so soon!

The Jaw Titan bit the nape of the Beast Titan, tearing off half of Zeke's body with it and spit his remaining top half into its giant paw.

A loud scream could be heard coming from the fallen Titan shifter. “You have no idea what you're doing!!”

The Jaw Titan only looked down at his former superior's forlorn figure and if Levi had known any better, its significant jaw held what could possibly be the most satisfied grin he had ever seen on a Titan's face.

Zeke Yeager finally realized that he miscalculated his plans again.

“Sorry, we dropped in unannounced. We thought you could use some help.” A deep voice could be heard as one of the newcomers landed on the ground next to him. The bottom of his light brown overcoat billowed to the gentle rhythm of the blowing wind. A clever representation of their current situation - a calm before the impending storm.

“Need a hand, Captain?”

The man extended a hand towards him. He looked up and was not surprised to see the face of his former subordinate, one of the two traitors that Erwin took under his wings; Reiner Braun.

Like the other brats, he too had grown taller than him after all these years.

He didn't see this brat back at Liberio but he would never forget the face of the men who had survived his blades directly through the neck. Because no one else did survive except him - the Armored Titan.

“Tch. Don’t expect any thank you’s from me.”

“We're not here to hurt anyone, Levi.”

A sarcastic chuckle escaped his bleeding lips, upon hearing the familiarity in the younger man's words. “So, you came back to Paradis because you missed being here. Don't make me throw up more blood.”

Reiner shook his head, a thin smile upon his face. He didn't miss that sarcasm though. Nevertheless, Levi took the hand that he offered and instead, he slowly made his way towards the discarded Thunder Spear, cradling his broken rib with concealed agony.

Reiner quickly stood on guard but made no attempt to shift into his Titan form again. He knew what that thing was first hand, how dangerous it could be yet while sending a nervous look towards the Jaw Titan, he calmly asked, “Mind telling me what are you planning to do with that?”

Levi grunted as he approached the dismembered body of Eren's older brother. “It's called a contingency plan, brat. Now hold that asshole's neck for me. As long as he has his legs regenerated and an open trap, he'll keep giving us trouble.”

Levi took a pause in his steps and gave Reiner a sideways glance. “You would know better. This asshole was your superior. Not that I'm ungrateful but between the two of us, you know very well who you should be more afraid of right now.”

Reiner swallowed the lump in his throat. They have a great reason to fear Levi Ackerman but this time, they should be relieved that for now, his former Captain had somewhat become a temporary ally.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

With Zeke apprehended, even with his injuries, it took only a split second for Humanity's Strongest Soldier to stick the explosive spear into Zeke's guts and tied the trigger around his neck.

‘I was wrong. Even our strongest and smartest Warrior is no match for Levi.’

The Ackermans were a force to be reckoned with.

“Now, explain why are you here again?”

Levi sent a dark, menacing glare at the Titan shifter, including the one who was still inside his Titan form. If they wanted to kill him, they would have struck him the same time they attacked Zeke.

Reiner looked down at his former military superior and confided, “We’re here to save and bring back my family.”

“Family huh?”

“It's a long story but one of the kids in your detainment is my cousin.” And, also, I’m here to bring your only living relative back to Marley, who’s now my wife whom I married yesterday. It just dawned on my brain that apparently we are related now. Reiner cleared his throat, trying to silence the inner voice inside his head.

Slowly but surely, Levi gave a slight nod of his head.

Amidst all the chaos and past treachery, one thing Levi understood was that you would do anything for family. Because he was very damn sure to instill that value inside his only other living kin.

All the current military members, ones who were still loyal to the government and were opposing the existence of the Jeagerists, were all detained in the same prison cell. Mikasa was looking dejected at the prison bars with Connie leaning against the steel surface next to her. Jean was on the other side of the wall, while Armin was looking away to a corner of the underground lockdown. Gabi could be seen sitting on the ground, her knees against her chest, trying very hard not to cry.

“Mikasa…” Jean called out to her.

She looked up silently. Only her eyes beckoned his call.

“The soonest we can escape this cell, I need you to bring the girl straight to your ship. I'll make sure to find that boy and meet you there. You and the kids need to head to Marley as soon as possible.” Jean's hardened gaze pierced deep into her eyes.

Connie huffed in frustration. “If we don't stop Eren here, no place is safe for everyone.”

Jean gave his best friend a nod. “True, but at least Mikasa and the kids will be safe. We will do everything in our willpower to stop Eren here. But Mikasa, do you think your-.....” Jean struggled to utter the word, partially because he felt that he should not be taking that particular word lightly. “--...I can’t believe I’m saying this but since we are now informal allies, do you think your husband would consider sending a relief team here?”

Armin turned his head around when he heard his Squad Leader's suggestion. “It is a plausible idea.”

“A piece of unsigned paper would not prove anything.” Connie continued to disagree. “The only reason Mikasa will be sent to Marley is that she is their prisoner of war. Their property. If she goes to Marley right now, what are the chances they will send people to help instead of imprisoning her like they are doing here?” Connie shook his head in disagreement, a dejected look upon his face. As much as he wasn't on agreeable terms with Mikasa lately, she was still a comrade and a good friend. Knowing that she had sealed her fate as Marley's figurative prisoner in a desperate effort to unite the three warring nations, had only made him grew frustrated with Eren. Deep was her devotion to the Attack Titan holder that she was sacrificing her lifetime being chained to another person again.

Armin made his concerns known. “I guess that is a chance we have to take. At this point, it is not beneath Eren to kill women and children to achieve his target. We've seen that in Liberio ourselves.”

Mikasa shook her head furiously. “No. Armin, you know I have to fight. I can't let Eren hurt more people. There is another way we can achieve peace. We have to believe in it.”

The sounds of heavy footsteps began to grow louder from afar. “Hey, keep it down!” One of the Jeagerists, the designated prison guard sent them a stern warning by hitting the steel bars with the handle of his rifle.

He was fuming that his prisoners were not complying. Too engrossed was he at scrutinizing the conspiring soldiers that he failed to notice a hooded figure that appeared behind him.

In quick seconds, the figure could be seen hitting the said guard on the back using a metal beam, much to the prisoners’ surprise. The mysterious figure fished out a bunch of large keys from the now unconscious guard's belt and began to unlock the steel door.

“Who are you?,” asked Connie to their savior and noticed that its figure was quite small for a man.

The figure shook its head and responded, “It doesn't matter who I am. We need to get out of here fast before the others begin to notice.”

All of them, along with the other members of the Military Police who were detained in the cell followed the mysterious figure’s lead, regardless of their identity.

They were wary but they wouldn't waste an opportunity of the unexpected assistance. They traversed through the hallways of the building silently and walked cautiously up the stairways leading to the ground floor.

There were several more of Eren's followers who were stationed as guards at the other side of the underground basement door. All of them each took care of the men with melee attacks as quickly as they could before the traitors even had the chance to alert the others.

With Gabi close to her side, Mikasa kept a close eye on the newcomer, sensing a familiarity for reasons she wasn't able to explain.

A random hand grabbed at the girl next to her, causing Gabi to scream in shock.

One of the stragglers had successfully snuck away earlier when they just passed through the basement door. The weary-looking, menacing man held a standard military issue knife in his hand against Gabi's throat and sent a stern warning. “All of you should be nice and walk back to your cells or this little girl gets it!”

In one swift movement, Mikasa drew the warrior's blade she kept hidden so well inside her overcoat and slice the man's hand, the one holding the knife, cutting it off clean in a swipe. His scream of agony pierced through their ears.

Mikasa pointed the edge of the katana, already dripping with the blood from Eren's loyally blind follower and sternly said, “Unhand her and stay down.”

Gabi hurriedly moved back towards Mikasa's side, clutching the older woman's formal coat and sent a traumatized look at her attempted captor.

Said captor seethed in pain as he spat back. “Mister Jeager would kill all of you! I dare you to walk out of here. You won't be alive for long.”

She sent him a deathly stare in return. “Dead men can't talk.” She used the edge of the blade's handle to knock the man unconscious, instead of ending his life, the way her ancestors would have done.

Misguided he was, he was an adult man who had chosen to follow a ruthless, heartless leader who would have no qualms in killing children to get his way. She wouldn't give him the pleasure of an honorable death.

Armin wheezed as he touched Mikasa's hand. “I honestly thought you would've killed him.”

The raven-haired young woman just shrugged and kept the engraved blade back inside its sheath. “I was surprised with myself too.”

It didn't escape Armin's sharp observation that the blade was a family heirloom, evident from the Azumabito clan's crest forged on the end of its handle. He deduced that it was very recent in her possession but the way she handled the blade was as if she had been wielding it her whole life.

Mikasa has always been naturally gifted and in tune with blades, regardless of what shape it takes in.

They pressed forward in the dark hallways of the abandoned building and it was only when they have reached the front entrance that they saw a carriage, with Hange and the boy that they had tried to save earlier, inside the vehicle. Behind the carriage was a fuming Floch, all tied up with a fabric gag on his lips. His angry curses were muffled by the cloth stuffing his mouth.

“Commander!” Armin bellowed as he moved quickly to talk to his superior. “Where have you been? Where did Floch take you both?”

“Gabi-I mean, Mia!” Shouted the young boy, as he tried to run towards the group.

“Falco?” Gabi looked up, relief and joy could be seen on her face as she hugged the young boy so tightly that the poor boy was beginning to blush. “I'm so glad you're alright. I'm s-...... sorry.”

Mikasa and the others observed the exchange in sympathy. To think that they had almost killed two innocent kids in retaliation. They have murdered Lobov and Sasha but they were misguided children that could still be saved from all of this chaos.

They could have chosen to hate the children but what good would it do anyway?

Their one-eyed Commander decided to interrupt the small reunion with a piece of alarming information. “Floch took me to Shadis’ training camp. He got them all fired up with the Jeagerists’ propaganda of a new Eldian glory. Shadis' was almost killed in the process. On our way here, we were stopped by her.” Hange directed her gaze towards the mysterious hooded figure. Everyone had a puzzled look on their faces when she removed the hood covering her head as they were not that familiar with their savior until Onyankopon made the information known. “Pieck….”

Connie looked up at the dark-skinned Marleyan native quizzically. “You know her, Onyankopon?”

“She's Marley's Cart Titan shifter. The one that Elena failed to constrain besides the Jaw Titan back in Liberio.”

What the fuck…. Both Connie and Jean cursed under their breaths. They always had an assumption that the Cart Titan shifter was a man. It also didn't escape Jean's observation that said shifter was giving him a painful look - well, they had almost been successful in killing each other, head to head only two weeks before.

“Miss Pieck!” Gabi cried out in surprise and evident relief upon seeing a much familiar place in a foreign environment to her.

Jean, Connie, Onyankopon, and Armin looked at the foreign young woman. Especially after the assault in Liberio, there were so many questions - suspicious in nature between them - now that both sides were seeing each other face to face, up close and personal.

Pieck bowed her head down slightly upon seeing Mikasa. “Your Highness.”

It was very obvious to the rest of the unit members that these women have been reacquainted recently, after the assault on Liberio.

Another set of alarm bells rang inside Armin's perceptive eyes but it doesn't matter at that particular moment.

Mikasa, having gotten over her initial surprise, nodded in return. “Miss Pieck. I wasn't...how could you be here.  Weren't you supposed to be on the way to Marley right now?”

If she is here, then does that mean Reiner is here as well?

The long-haired female shifter shook her head instead. “I would explain it to you on our way to the northern gate of Wall Maria. Zeke had triggered the Coordinate and had shifted a group of his unknowing targets. I suspected as much that it had been the group assigned to detained him. It was very fortunate that Falco, the boy, was still far away from Zeke's scream.”

Jean was very quick to identify the group specifically referred to in her explanation.

It was Captain Levi's squad.

The Hizuru noble had proven a much better control of her initial shock. Connie, however, was the contrary. Although Zeke Jeager was the mastermind, this was the same shifter that also took part, no matter how minuscule it had been, in destroying his village five years ago. There was no way that a single act of her assistance today could erase what she had partaken in. “Why should we trust you?”

Jean, who noticed Connie's agitation, stepped forward to alleviate the tense moment. “It's not that we're ungrateful of your help, but, all of these are too convenient. How can we be sure that you are not working with the Beast Titan all along?”

Connie nodded and agreed. “Maybe this is another one of your government's attempt to invade this Island.”

The Marley native sent only a sympathising look his way. “Maybe we are. Maybe we aren't. Our initial priority was to retrieve the children home before they get caught up in the upcoming attack by the World's Allied Forces but we were informed by our Commander that the plan has changed. All thanks to the alliance reinforced through the union of Hizuru's princess and our new War Chief.”

The Survey Corps’ own commander supported the explanation by the shifter. “Zeke double-crossed both Paradis and Marley. The idea of the Rumbling was used as a tool to intimidate the rest of the world's nations. However, Mikasa's marriage has initiated a very pivotal move in resolving this conflict peacefully. We can end this needless bloodshed in a more diplomatic way.”

“Thus, our mission right now would be the opposite. We have to ensure that Eren and Zeke must never meet at all costs. The Rumbling is a dangerous power that is never explored, let alone controlled. It was a chance we thought we had to take but now there is hope in resolving this peacefully without any more unnecessary wars. But we won't be able to do that until we resolve the current internal situation in Paradis right now.” Another voice offered the much-anticipated resolve. It belonged to none other than the holder of the Colossal Titan. One of his Titan types could reign inexplicable horror to a nation, yet if there were five, six or even more of them released to the world - well, no one could imagine the potential destruction they could cause in their paths. Eren is willing to destroy his own birthplace just so he could prove an extremely dangerous point to the whole world.

What difference were his ideals compared to the King who secluded his entire subjects in complete ignorance?

The King who created all of this mess, to begin with?

They both invoked or are invoking fear to fend off the temporary assault, only for the next generations to suffer the consequences.

“Miss Pieck,” said Mikasa. “How far is your ship on the coast of this Island?”

“It'll be almost an hour's trip on a horse.”

“Great. Please make sure that you take Gabi and Falco with you to the ship. If possible, please get the ship to Marley as soon as you can. We don't know what is going to happen here but at least the children would be far away and safe.”

Pieck objected instantly, “I can't leave you behind, Princess.”

Mikasa’s lips formed a straight thin line. “This is an order, Miss Pieck.”

The Titan shifter nodded, albeit reluctantly. Pieck knew that Mikasa's words are absolute and not only because she is now the wife of her immediate superior but she is the heir of the empire who Marley is bound to.

The short-haired Paradis native continued, “Besides, this is my home. I can't leave until I have made sure that the people here are safe. Please make sure he gets this message too.”

It didn't take long for Pieck, along with everyone in audience, to figure out the person whom Mikasa was referring to in her words.

“But your husband,” Pieck made sure she worded the information carefully, “has brought reinforcements with us. We currently have a hundred and fifty armed Hizuru militants stationed at the coastal area, south of the island where we docked the ships.”

“He did?” The panic on Mikasa's face subsided slightly upon receiving such knowledge.

Pieck nodded. “They are for your reinforcements should you require them or if your safety is compromised, your Highness.”

He wasn't here for a counter-attack then.

“Please tell him to be on standby for now.”

The two women looked at each other in mutual understanding, before Pieck ushered both Gabi and Falco towards a separate carriage waiting on the side of the building.

The young girl shook her head weakly. “Ms. Ackerman, I don't want to go. Not without you.”

Mikasa's towering form bent downwards on one knee. She took off the crimson scarf around her neck and wrapped it around Gabi's neck instead. She then grabbed both of the girl's shoulders and calmly whispered, “Gabi, your whole entire life you've been taught to fight. But for once, I need you to go. Not because you are afraid. It's only because I need you to live and Reiner needs you to live too.”

Gabi's eyes widened in sheer surprise. It wasn't possible for Ms. Ackerman to know about her connection to her older cousin. “How did you know about Reiner?” She asked back in return. She did know that these people are Reiner's acquaintances from the island when he was sent here on an infiltration mission but she was very sure no one would suspect on her connection to Reiner.

The older woman, however, left the question unanswered and diverted the explanation. “This scarf gave me hope the day I lost everything I ever knew. I want you to have it now. It will keep you safe the way it did with me.” She pushed Gabi forward into Pieck's arms, much to the girl's protest.

Pieck gave a slight bow and ushered the little girl into the horse carriage, where Falco was still sitting inside.

Mikasa stepped aside and watched the carriage slowly moving towards the direction of the harbor, south of the Island. Waited wordlessly until the carriage disappeared from their vision.

At least, that is one less thing for her to worry about.

Her eyes met the questioning gazes of her former comrades when she turned herself around. Armin and Connie had a concrete look of determination on their faces while Jean had a more concerned look. The only Titan shifter in the group quipped, “Let’s stop Eren. Once and for all.”

“Hey, what should we do about him?”, asked Connie, as he pointed towards Floch, who was still tied and gagged at the back of the carriage that carried Hange earlier.

Armin cracked his knuckles. “I have something to say to him before we go.”

He had enough of people disrespecting his best friend that day and he could really use the warm-up.

Even though he is yet to meet Mikasa's husband in person, whoever he might be, Armin still feels that it is his responsibility to defend Mikasa's honor on his behalf.

Floch only gave a bored stare the moment he saw the figure belonging to the once timid boy he had ridiculed in the past approached to where he was restrained, not without a pre-shift glow on his closed hand.

However, the constant arrogance on his face had finally been reduced to non-existence when he saw the approaching figure of the Colossal Titan holder was followed by not only his former Squad Leader, Jean but also Connie.

Shit.

For the first time in her life, Mikasa felt she deserved to take liberty on another person's misery.

Floch had it coming for a long time.

She was also glad to see that Armin had found his spirit back.

The only other thing they need to do next was to convince Eren to stop all of this madness.

Just after they made sure to give Floch a piece of their mind, The sudden appearance of one of Commander Pixis’ right-hand officer, took everyone by surprise. Mikasa remembered that his name was Gustav and he rarely left Commander Pixis’ side unless it was due to a very urgent matter. Gustav struggled to catch his breath before giving a salute to the Survey Corps’ Commander.

“Commander Zoe Hange!”

Hange nodded. “Gustav, status update?”

“I’m very fortunate that I was able to tail your escape carriage undetected. We believe the Beast Titan had triggered the transformation.”

Hange gave a slight nod, confirming her knowledge of the triggering. “Is everyone alright?”

“Yes, Ma’am but because of that, our units are unable to offer reinforcements in Shinganshina for now, at least not within close perimeters to Zeke Jeager. We would be potential liabilities if we are near him.”

“We’ll figure something out, Gustav.” There was a pause as Hange sent a quick glance at the only Titan shifter in the group.

The unavoidable contingency plan.

Their last resort.

“And also, we have received another discreet update from Anka.” Gustav looked apprehensive and unsure of delivering the next news.

Hange waited patiently for Gustav’s following words but she could already expect what he was going to say next. Anka Rheinberger was the designated lady-in-waiting for the Queen and one of the several trusted members of the military who have the knowledge of the Queen’s secret location.

“The Queen has been in labor since last night but there is a problem. Her body has stopped progressing the birth since several hours ago. We need your help, Commander. Both mother and child are dying.”

Mikasa’s eyes widened in shock.

No, Historia…..

Chapter Text

A/N: Before I present the next part of the Clash of Titans, I just realized that this impending confrontation would be a full Eren versus Reiner fight for the third time (if you didn't include the short one punch intermission in Liberio, that is). I'm not really great in describing action/fight scenes, so it'll be very likely the fight will happen in a flashback. Short but focuses on the pivotal parts because I can't wait for the newlyweds’ story to begin in Liberio after the current arc in this story. Apart from that, no one would've known how Eren's story would end in the manga at this point. It could be anyone's guess. Thus, it would be pure AU from here onwards. Nevertheless, I really hope you would still enjoy it.

A special shoutout goes to Kemeloo, Mikasa23 & RubyL for leaving amazing, supportive & sweet comments recently on As You Are. I could never express enough of my gratitude to your kind words. Thank you very much for your continuous support & love!

Without further ado, this chapter is inspired by Colin and Caroline's cover of Sia's Elastic Heart.

Warning: A death of a canon character will take place in this chapter.

As You Are

Chapter Six

Elastic Heart

And I will stay up through the night
And let's be clear, won't close my eyes
And I know that I can survive
I'll walk through fire to save my life

And I want it, I want my life so bad
I'm doing everything I can
Then another one bites the dust
It's hard to lose a chosen one

You did not break me
(You did not break me, no)
I'm still fighting for peace

Well, I've got thick skin and an elastic heart,
But your blade—it might be too sharp
I'm like a rubber band until you pull too hard,
Yeah, I may snap and I move fast
But you won't see me fall apart
'Cause I've got an elastic heart

In the middle of the vast open plains between the forest of the giant trees and Wall Rose, a lone cart could be seen moving across the grass-covered ground heading towards the direction of Wall Maria. A single horse was pulling the wooden cart carrying the battered, broken body of the fallen Beast Titan shifter, under the scrutinizing eyes of Levi Ackerman and the hooded figure of Porco Galliard. The mount was steered to move in slower motion, but when one of the wheels ran over a stray pebble in its route, the cart jerked, prompting Levi to caution the driver.

“You haven't been on a horse for too long that your steering gets shitty, huh, brat?”

Reiner, who was holding the reins, gave a light smirk in return. “It's been a while.”

Humanity's Strongest Soldier directed his gaze back at the figure on the cart's floor. “We still need this asshole alive. Another bump and all of us will explode along with this sorry piece of shit.” He gritted his teeth when he saw Zeke's busted jaw trying to move.

“All of you are wrong. You have no idea what is coming to this Island. The Rumbling is the only thing that can save Eldia and I will not stop until I have carried out my mission,” croaked their current prisoner.

Levi squinted his eyes in a fit of well-concealed anger. “Shut your trap. How many more people would have to die for Eldia?”.

The top of Wall Maria soon began to unveil itself the closer they were to the century-old oppressive monument. The setting sun gave out a rather sinister view the moment Porco took in the massive wall with his vision. This was after all the first time he ever stepped foot in Paradis. Just by looking at the walls constructed by the orders of the selfish King Fritz XVI had been enough to make him burn with bitterness so strong that it made him rethink that the Eldians in Marley and those in this Island were not so much different after all the military propaganda that was conditioned into his brain ever since he was a young child.

They were taught to hate their own kind, who shared the same blood, the same curse running through their veins. They were both oppressed and marginalized by those with power and authority.

Those in Liberio, by the Marley government.

Those in Paradis, by their own royal ruler.

His eyes moved from the large structure of the first of three layers of constriction around the Island, Wall Maria, to his immediate superior. While Bertolt had been the one who destroyed the outer wall on the northern side, yet it was Reiner who had knocked down the inner gate of the Hizuru princess’ hometown, hiking up the unnecessary death tolls in their first attack against the people in Paradis, forcing her to abandon her home and her family.

That eventually made him realized how reasonable was the Princess’ anger and hatred towards her new husband. The very fact that Reiner survived their first night together without so much as a cut showed how hard Lady Ackerman had been restraining herself from killing him, all for the promise of a peaceful future.

To know that Zeke had been double-crossing both Marley and Paradis when they reached the shores of Paradis, only made it worst. From what he can deduce from their earlier conversation before they board the Hizuru transporter to the island, the Princess had to rush home to Paradis because of a recent 'unexpected development’.

“Lord Hosokawa, I prefer not to be kept in the dark of Mikasa's whereabouts. If she is in fact on the ship to Paradis as we speak, I deserved the right to know the reason why,” stated the new War Chief of Marley to their host. Porco could see the agitation evident in Reiner's eyes as he tried to reason with the royal admiral.

The military veteran remained calm, as the saying goes, patience did increase with time and age. He believed his own son would make the right decision when it comes to appeasing their new young Lord. “Milord, the ships docked with the supplies and soldiers that had been entrusted to assist the Marley government are ready to set sail at your command. My own son, Takeshi, is the head of the battalion and he is your right hand when it comes to the Hizuru empire. However, when it comes to the Princess, no one but you would have the authority. Not even the Lady Kiyomi could decide for her as of yesterday.”

A young man, who bore an uncanny resemblance to Lord Hosokawa stepped forward and bowed down to him. A long deep breath escaped Reiner's lips in frustration yet he returned the gesture with respect.

Yet, Hosokawa continued, “However, I am to deliver you a copy of the parchment that came from the Council of the World's Allied Nations, not too long after you took the vow as the new Lord of Hizuru yestereve.”

The admiral's explanation was responded with a questioning look on the faces of all the members of the Marleyan's entourage. Magath included, as he looked into the document in Reiner's hands.

“Is this even possible?”, asked the young Warchief, when he looked up from the parchment.

The Jaw Titan holder chimed in, “What? What's possible?”

Magath gave a long, thoughtful nod to his immediate subordinate. There was no questioning the authenticity of the wax seal on the sandy paper. He had the privilege of attending one of the council's conferences as the representative of Marley's Titan Unit before this but right now would be the first time he has ever seen a potentially impactful piece of document up close. “The Princess knew what she was doing. This could be the beginning of a new world for the Eldians.”

Lord Hosokawa calmly awaited the ensuing response. “My Lord,” he addressed their new young leader. “It is now your call. Your lady wife is trying to bridge the void between our nations but she would need to first provide her support in mediating the unexpected rebellion inside the Island first. She is a strong woman but we do fear for her safety.”

There was a steely gaze in Reiner's eyes when he looked at his fellow Warriors before looking at Magath's direction and instructed, “Commander, you shall lead the main Hizuru transporter back to Marley with fifty of the trained soldiers and resources for emergency relief. Please bring my mother along with you. Lord Takeshi, please prep another transporter, load them up with firearms and get the remaining soldiers onboard.”

His newly-mandated right hand bowed down in acknowledgment. “As you wish, my liege.”

The only woman in attendance questioned, she shook her head in disbelief. “Do you really want to launch an assault on Paradis right now?”

Reiner shook his head to her question. “No, Pieck. I'm bringing reinforcements for my wife. She is trying to attempt something no one has ever done in history. It is my sworn duty to be there with her.”

Unbeknownst to everyone, Lord Hosokawa gazed upon the young honorable Lord of Hizuru with a well-hidden sense of pride. ‘May Izanagi ease your endeavors in leading our nations to a new beginning, young Lord.’’

Meanwhile, this time around, Reiner has more reasons to return to Paradis with haste.

“Levi....” Reiner called out as he steered the reins of the horse pulling on the cart. At times like this, Pieck would have been a great help. She was their greatest transporting asset after all.

His former superior sent a bored look in response. “What is it, brat?”

“Have you met with Mikasa lately?”

There was a silence as he contemplated his answer. “Not since we return from Liberio. Why?”

“Just out of curiosity. Is Krista well?”

“Why are we catching up right now?” A small sigh escaped Levi’s lips. “Regardless, Krista is now Queen Historia. You shall not address her in any other way.”

‘She's what? THE Queen of Paradis is her?’

Reiner remained steadfast yet the hands holding the reins began to shook.

“She was doing fine and well. Until she got herself knocked up because of this ape's brilliant idea. All because he needed his Titan to be transferred to another person with royal blood.”

He held himself back from halting the moving horse but he did spare a quick glance back at his former commanding officer. He believed that he could still fulfill the promise he made to Ymir. “This rebellion...are they putting her in danger?”

Levi shrugged. His bangs billowed in the gentle breeze. “God knows what Eren is planning now that this asswipe failed to escape so they could meet. But I do know that as much as that idiot is unpredictable, after his stunt in Liberio, I am not surprised if he plans to usurp the throne now while the Queen is hiding away, waiting for the day she will give birth to the royal heir. If he ever sits on that throne, not only Paradis, but the whole world will be fucked.”

Reiner’s heartbeat escalated erratically in his chest upon hearing every word that came out of Levi's mouth. Every information felt like a full frontal assault to his brain.

Could he still save Krista from all of the mess happening on this Island?

“Stop here,” ordered Levi. His hand adjusted his hold on the trigger of the Thunder spear wrapped around Zeke's neck. He looked at the gate, north of Wall Maria, where on the other side of the gate was Shinganshina.

Eren was waiting for them on the other side of the wall. “If he wants his dear brother, he has to come to us and take this piece of shit himself.”

“What if he shifts when he knows we’re heading this way?” asked Porco out loud.

Reiner answered. “Then we’ll shift too. But the civilians inside the town-”

“-have been evacuated. That idiot is really adamant in triggering the Rumbling but as long as he is not able to touch someone with royal blood, there is nothing we should fear,” Levi piped in.

Their ears soon picked up the sounds of hooves approaching to where they were. It was a carriage. They instantaneously stood on their guard but once Levi recognized the figure riding on the front, his rigid shoulders loosened a little bit.

It was Jean.

When the carriage stopped, it didn't take long for the rest of the carriage's passengers to step out of the vehicle. His former comrades - Jean, Armin and Connie had a stunned expression on their faces upon seeing the two people who were with their Captain.

Armin called out. “Reiner?”

“What did you say, Armin?” Jean looked at him in disbelief.

“That’s Reiner?” asked Connie, his mouth opened.

Reiner could recognize how so different they were from the last time he saw them. The same group of spunky kids has grown up to be tall, grown young men. Even Connie had grown his hair.

Although obviously, the unexpected reunion would not be greeted with laughter and good reminiscence when an ominous threat was waiting for them on the other side of the gate, where everything began ten years ago.

The other group approached the pull cart on foot.

“Jean, Connie, Armin.” Reiner greeted them with the names he never had the privilege to mention in Marley since the day they parted ways.

The others nod, only Jean returned the greeting. “Reiner”.

“Jean, where’s Hange?,” asked Levi to his immediate Squad Leader.

“Hange and Mikasa are rushing to aid the Queen. She is in labor and she’s dying right now….”

Levi shook his head. “What? That’s not possible. She’s only due to give birth in three or four more moons!”

“What should we do, Captain?”

“The only thing I could think of is right now would be the perfect opportunity to feed Zeke to the Queen. That would be the only way to save her life.”

“What about Eren?”

“We still have Zeke with us, he’s not going to be able to do anything without this piece of shit.” Levi looked up towards the ember rays descended within the horizons. “The sun’s almost set. We need to head to the orphanage and regroup with Hange. If there is no other way, Historia needs to consume Zeke as soon as she delivers her child. But these two-” Levi referred to the two enemy Titan shifters.

Jean began to protest. “We were locked up by Eren's followers but their comrade helped us escape.”

It must have been Pieck...

Reiner and Porco looked at each other as they picked up the essence of the Survey Corps’ conversation.

Armin agreed. “We can trust them.”

“Are you really sure that he,” said Levi as he pointed towards his former subordinate. “would not be betraying us the way he did before? We just attacked them two weeks ago.” Not that he needed the assurance, seeing that he had his life indebted to the Armored Titan and Jaw Titan's timely rescue much earlier.

The young military strategist nodded his head. “Affirmative, Captain. I believe you have not been updated of a recent development that was unveiled earlier today with Mikasa's return from Hizuru.”

“SHE WHAT? When did she ever leave?” Levi's grey irises went wide upon hearing Armin's answer.

“Ah shit….” Connie cursed under his breath. Wait till their Captain finds out about the rest of the news.

In particular, a wedding which he was not invited to nor had the knowledge of.

Jean and Connie were both beginning to get squeamish under the intense stare of their superior.

Reiner silently observed the exchange between the Survey Corps’ members. From the looks of it, none of them knew the intricacies of the alliance between Marley and Hizuru, and how Paradis came in between.

Everything was too much for Reiner's brain to digest but one thing for sure, Krista needs help and he'd be damned if he couldn't help her in any way he could. He worried for Krista's safety more than anything else at that moment.

Levi took in a deep breath than usual. “Explain, brats. It's a long way to the orphanage.”

Unbeknownst to all of them, even Porco, Reiner's palms began to sweat with nervousness.

He was very sure that none of them had an inkling of his current status and that Mikasa took extreme care in not divulging the identity of her husband to her comrades but at this rate, it would soon be really difficult to keep their secret in the dark for long.

But for now, Krista- no, Queen Historia needed their assistance.

In the secluded area hidden far within the forest, a moderate distance away from Wall Maria, there lied a cluster of wooden farm houses where it had become a well-run orphanage by the Queen herself. From one of the local farmhouses, sounds of screaming could be heard coming from the inside. Two men could be seen stationed outside the house, standing vigil and unperturbed. It was very obvious that they were from the military and were guarding someone of obvious importance inside the dwelling.

A carriage stood outside, with its horse remained loose to graze the fresh green grass out in the fields.

Not too long, a man dressed in a typical farming attire with his light hair hidden underneath a paperboy hat stepped out of the closed door. The moment he reached the wooden railing outside of the farmhouse, he broke down with his face in his hands.

Lost and desperate.

He was losing the woman that he had ever loved.

He knew he was being used from the first moment Historia came to him with her proposition seven months ago.

He initially helped out at the orphanage with the farming works to atone for his past mistakes when he was just a blubbering, idiot kid who bullied the bastard daughter of a noble for fun.

Due to that, he didn't decline her proposition and the fact that he had fallen hopelessly in love with her the moment he saw her at her old house again, the one that she turned into an orphanage for unwanted kids just like her, well,  he would never say no to his Queen.

Even when he eventually realized that she was already with another man's child the day she came to him.

Historia's scream broke him out of his pondering. He was frustrated. He knew she was dying. Her labor was not progressing and it has already been almost a day since her water broke.

He was hopeful when the Commander of the Survey Corps' came to assist but even he wasn't oblivious to the forlorn look on the older woman's face.

Inside the room, even when the Queen within the walls was fighting for her life and that of her child's, even she wasn't able to push aside her responsibilities to her people.

Historia's heart broke the moment she received the news from the capital. The chaos that was taking place inside her kingdom.

But Mikasa's form of alliance with Marley will be the hope her people needs.

“Commander Hange, please promise me that you would help me deliver this child. This child is the priority,” plead Historia, her thin fingers gripped against her former Commander's hand in a weak grip.

Hange nodded grimly but not without making her concerns known. “Historia, the only way for me to deliver this child would be by cutting you open. There's no way you could take that much pain and I'm not sure how long I would need to stitch you back together. The longer your body is open, the higher the risk of infection or death.”

“Please....Whatever it takes,” begged the young Queen.

Even then Hange knew the current condition of the room itself would bring a huge risk to the Queen's mortality rate - dirt crusted walls and unsterilized pieces of equipment. Even if the Queen miraculously survives this birth, there is no way she could live without any long-term internal injury or defect.

Mikasa protested her Queen's words persistently. “No, Historia. You would die.”

“I know. But my child needs to live. The baby will be the hope of our people. It needs to survive. Before we do this, please get me a paper and a quill. In the event when I do not survive this childbirth, please treat this document as my last will.”

Anka, who had been standing nearby quickly ran towards the living hall and grabbed the awaiting blank parchments on the Queen's writing table.

Historia muttered a weak thank you to her loyal lady-in-waiting and swallowed back a bitter grunt when she felt the consecutive wave of contraction - stronger and more frequent this time - from her belly.

She was running out of time.

Mikasa assisted to wipe away the flowing beads of sweat on the Queen's forehead as she struggled to share her last words.

“Commander, please help me write this down……”

All while the Queen was preparing herself for a birth that she would not survive, the carriage and the cart from the outskirts of Shinganshina could be heard approaching the farmhouse.

Armin wasted no time in jumping out of the carriage to inform his superior that there was still hope for the Queen, in the form of Zeke Jeager.

While Reiner and Porco stayed vigil on the cart, Levi requested for Jean and Connie to keep a close eye on the defeated, broken figure of the Beast Titan shifter before he stepped down from the cart and walked into the house.

They saw a young farmer who was standing on the porch, approaching their group the moment Levi passed by him at the front entrance.

“How is she doing?” asked Jean the moment the man with the light brown hair was within walking distance.

He shook his head, his eyes were red with traces of tears he might have wiped earlier. “She might not make it. Her body couldn't handle the birth.”

“What did Commander Hange say?” It was Connie's turn to ask.

The young man only shook his head again, helplessly. “Nothing.”

For all of them, they understood well when Hange could not offer any explanation, it would be because there was absolutely none.

It wasn't too long later when the sound of a newborn crying could be heard coming from inside the farmhouse, causing all of them to turn their heads around in alarm. Armin calmly walked out of the door, approaching the group waiting outside.

The Colossal Titan holder sighed. “The Queen is in her last moments. Now would be a good time for us to pay our respects.”

The young farmer instantly rushed towards the house, repeatedly chanting the word 'No’ as he did. Jean, Connie, and Onyankopon could only send similar looks of sympathy towards the young man.

Yet, Connie pointed out. “Wasn't the original plan was to feed Zeke to Historia?”

“She insisted that she would not want to be injected with the serum and she demanded that her body is to be burnt instead of buried.”

Jean asked, “What about the baby?”

Armin sighed. “It's a princess. She named her Ymir.”

Porco squinted his eyes towards Reiner. “Isn't that the name of the girl who was the previous holder of my Titan?”

Reiner, who had been a silent observer, nodded weakly upon hearing his friend's question.

He was too late. Why did it happen this way? Why can't he ever get anything right?

He cleared his throat, swallowing the bitterness within. “Armin, could we pay our last respect to her?”

“Go ahead.” Armin nodded. Despite being enemies, Reiner used to be their comrade. He cared about Krista at one point in time. There was nothing left to lose. Who was he to stop him from saying his goodbye?

“Mikasa….”

The raven-haired royal heir from Hizuru only responded with tears flowing down her face as she gave her longtime friend - who was on the verge of last breath - the emptiest stare as her response.

The dying Queen of Paradis looked deathly pale, her golden hair lost its shine and her cheeks appeared much gaunter than before. The white blanket covering her open belly was now tainted with dark red blood. Hange looked dejected, feeling so disappointed in herself for not being able to try harder in closing up the wound in an impossible environment and given circumstances. The newborn was cradled gently in Anka's arms, as she too couldn't hold back the tears from her eyes when she looked at the unfortunate baby.

“Please forgive me for the hurt I've caused you….”

“Stop it, Historia.”

“I took him from you.”

Several drops of tears trickled down Mikasa's flushed cheeks. “He was never mine to start with.”

“You left because of us.”

“I left because I want to help you both.”

“I don't deserve to ask anything from you right now but please keep our daughter away from her father as long as he remains a danger to everyone. Never let Eren harm our baby. I want her to live a long, peaceful life. Promise me, on my last breath, please.”

“I promise.” There was never any remorse in her heart towards her dear friend. Even when said friend managed to achieve the happiness she had been yearning for since a very long time ago.

“Mikasa, you are the purest person I've ever known. I pray that you have the happy ending that you deserved.”

She had lost Sasha. Now she was losing the only good female friend she still has and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

She couldn't fight a mother's will for her child to live.

Historia for her baby.

Like Carla did with Eren.

Like Mama did with her.

She averted her gaze away from Historia. Regardless of what happened between her and Eren, it would never change the fact that  Historia will always be like a sister to her and she couldn't bear to see the life slowly leaving her fragile body.

The Captain of the Survey Corps' who had been in silence the whole time stomped both of his feet down on the wooden floor. “Historia, stop this nonsense! We can inject you with the serum and Zeke is ready outside for you-”

“LEVI!” Hange sternly reminded her comrade.

He stubbornly ignored his best friend's words. “Live, brat! Your child needs you! Don't make me force you to survive the way I did before!” His raised voice agitated his own broken ribs, causing him to cradle his torso in both pain and frustration.

Mikasa held him back with her words. “Captain, please!”

Historia pleaded to her loyal guardian's compassion. “As your Queen, I demand that you stand down, Captain….please honor my last wish. I wish to die in my own terms.”

There was a hopeful gaze in her dying eyes. “Captain Levi, I entrust my daughter's safety to you and the Azumabito family. Please execute all of the words I have instructed in my will.”

“I can't do this….” Levi stood up and left the room in a limp due to the excruciating pain inside his chest. He just couldn't see another mother abandoning her own child behind. On his way out through the bedroom door, he passed by his two saviors from earlier.

Unbeknownst to everyone inside that room, Porco and Reiner had been standing silent from the outside. They were able to witness and hear all the words exchanged inside that room very clearly.

Historia’s head slowly turned towards the doorway. Her eyes squinted in a struggle to see the shadow standing there. “Henrik? Henrik, I'm sorry.”

The other ladies directed their gazes in the Queen's line of vision. Anka softly replied, “No, my Queen, it's not your consort. He stepped out earlier because he couldn't bear to see you in so much pain.”

Mikasa was taken by surprise upon recognizing the newcomers. She didn't expect him to be there nor to be reunited with him so soon. “Reiner…”

He nodded, his eyes moved to his younger wife. “Mikasa…”.

The interchange between the reunited husband and wife was as formal and awkward as it could possibly be between two former friends in the unknowing public eyes.

His amber eyes darted to the dying blonde-haired young woman on the bed. The bubbly young girl he'd dreamed that he'd married one day.

Who would've thought he'd marry the other girl who he wouldn't even dare himself to dream of instead?

“Krista.” He greeted her with obvious pain in his voice. He didn't expect that the only time they would meet again, would also be the last time they do.

Historia struggled to draw in a breath upon hearing their former comrade's name from Mikasa's lips. However, it was the moment her sky blue eyes landed on the auburn-haired young man standing next to Reiner that she gasped in astonishment. “Ymir….”

Porco himself was taken aback when the Queen of Paradis called out for the name of the girl who was his Titan's previous holder. Nevertheless, he dared himself to move forward and knelt next to the bed where the Queen was lying on. It was the only respectful action to do at someone’s deathbed.

“Ymir….you came back.”

It was not possible for her to be able to tell that he was the one who consumed her best friend and former lover, yet he couldn't deny a dying woman's last wish.

His hand shot up to caress her face in a gentle, precise manner.

The moment his hand touched her pale skin which was getting colder by the minute, Porco could feel it in his heart that the other woman loved this Queen a lot in her previous life.

“I miss you…”

Porco couldn't help but return her words with the same endearment. “How could I ever forget about you, my beautiful Krista.”

There was a smile on the young Queen's face right before the light disappeared from her blue eyes and she remained cold, immobile the moment the hands of Death ripped her soul away from her body.

“N-n….no…..” Mikasa whimpered helplessly the way she cried for Sasha on that blimp. Hange held her just like the way she did the day Armin almost died.

But this time no one was coming back to life.

The room was shrouded with instant looming darkness, gone was the Queen within the walls of Paradis. Only the helpless cries from her newborn and her dear friend filled the silence in the world she left behind.

Only a handful of the Queen's loyal followers stood in front of the burning pyre. In the still of the amber skies, with only several lanterns and the ray of the setting sun to light the immediate procession, the small group gathered to bid their final farewell to the deceased ruler of Paradis. They made haste in ensuring that the Queen's lifeless body was burnt as soon as she drew her last breath.

Levi, Mikasa, Armin, Anka and Henrik, Historia's childhood friend stood in the first row, followed by the rest at the back. The newborn nestled peacefully against Anka's chest. Hange faced the others, with her back to the flames and began to give her last send off to the Queen.

“Here lies the last resting place of Queen Historia Reiss, the truthful ruler of Wall Maria, Rose and Sina of Paradis. The truest, most selfless leader with a heart dedicated only for humanity. As one of the four remaining military Commanders who had been entrusted with our dearly departed Queen's last will, it is my sole responsibility to execute her last words.”

Hange moved forward in reading the contents of the document out loud. “This document will be notarized by Commander Zoe Hange of the Survey Corps and in the presence of Princess Mikasa Ackerman of House Azumabito from Hizuru as the sole witness. I hereby list down my consents. In the event when I do not survive this childbirth, please treat this document as my last will.”

“I wished to retain my human form and forbid anyone to desecrate my will by forcing the serum on me, living or dead. I entrust my child into the protection of the Azumabito family of the royal Hizuru empire in the East Sea with Captain Levi Ackerman as her primary guardian. She will be the ward of the royal family until she has reached sixteen years of age and ready to ascend the throne left by my passing. As of today, Paradis will be under the sole governance of the Supreme General, who will be elected through a council in the presence of the representatives of the World's Allied Nations.”

Both remaining survivors of the Ackerman clan nodded, Levi with a cold expression on his face while Mikasa with tears running down her own.

All while the will was read out by Hange, Reiner's eyes had never moved from settling on the back of his younger wife’s head.

“I declare Eren Jeager, the father of my child, as an extremist and must be stopped at all cost to preserve peace. I too, consent to the peace treaty between Paradis and the Marley government with the Hizuru empire as the mediator.”

Reiner grasped his hands tightly with constrained anger upon hearing the last paragraph from the Queen's last will. It finally explained a lot on the mysterious reasons why Mikasa left Paradis to return to Hizuru and willingly resigned herself to an arranged marriage with an enemy from Marley so soon after the assault on Liberio.

She was doing it to ensure Historia's safety and her child's future. And that child happened to be the daughter of the only man she had loved since they were younger.

Was he angry that Eren took advantage of Historia? Maybe they did truly fell in love with each other. What he wasn't able to comprehend was how much it must've broken Mikasa's heart.

Reiner sent an apologetic look towards his new bride who was standing right in front of him, with her back to his and Porco's direction.

Mikasa was sacrificing herself for others, not only for their people but also for the two people she cared so much. It was difficult for him the moment he found out who he was marrying but it would have been a thousand times harder on her.

Hange closed the document in her hands and looked up to the remaining Survey Corps members that she still had in front of her. Even including the former enemies, now allies, from Marley, the place they had assaulted two weeks ago solely to retrieve Eren, who was now a declared traitor instead.

“I suggest all of us to get as much rest as we can and rotate the watch duties in turn. Tomorrow will be a big day for all of us.”

Levi turned and made a move towards the other side of the farmhouse. “Great. I'll go and check on the two pieces of shits inside the barn.”

Levi and Hange made a move towards the barnyard together. They were, after all, experts in human interrogation.

Reiner wanted to pull Mikasa aside and tell her that he would be with her in any form she would have him - even as an acquaintance if not a friend. Yet, the moment his eyes caught the way Jean's hand lingered on her back in a comforting gesture as she mourned the death of another friend, Reiner knew his presence would always be insignificant to her.

He may be her husband, who deserved her loyalty and respect but he would never have her heart.

He had lost the only girl he ever had strong feelings for and now he knew he was already on the verge of losing another.

“Reiner,” nudged Porco, even he noticed his friend's agitation. “They are just friends in mourning.”

Reiner nodded, cleverly hiding the frustration on his face with a tight smile.

Armin and Connie, who were passing by the two shifters on their way back to the farmhouse couldn't help but invite the Marley natives to walk with them. “Reiner, you and your friend want to come with us?,” asked Armin. They couldn't possibly be as familiar as they were when they were young, naive trainees but at that moment, there was no reason for them to be at each other's throats either when a common enemy was waiting for them when the sun rises in the west.

Reiner exchanged a quick look with Porco and nodded. The four young men walked towards the direction of the farmhouse. Reiner's head, however, did turn back to look at the pyre behind them.

Jean was holding the grieving Mikasa in his arms.

Reiner wasn't sure how he should really feel about that.

Not that he had any right to even feel remotely anything.

The walk back to the farmhouse was a short but painfully silent journey. The slowly consuming guilt deep inside all four of them made a civil conversation became inhumanly possible, even when an alliance was a destined outcome.

Meanwhile, Armin, who was still conflicted on having to come clean to Reiner that it was indeed him who had unintentionally taken away his best friend's Colossal Titan, found himself noticing a piece of rather discreet information from the different way the Armored Titan from Marley carried himself.

It was only when the moment Reiner rested an Oriental blade, carrying the significant symbol of the Azumabito clan on the dining table that Armin had begun to suspect something else.

It looked exactly like the one Mikasa was carrying with her.

Only important figures in the royal family from Hizuru would be entrusted with such blades. He knew that much for sure.

Armin then attempted to coax the answer out of the Jaw Titan holder, in particular, to confirm how much power Marley could possibly have after the attack that had wiped out almost all of its main forces.

“Hizuru had given us a relief team consisted of two hundred trained soldiers as part of the agreement between the binding alliance.” Porco offered a very brief, vague explanation.

Armin questioned again, “Miss Kiyomi is aware that you are bringing her armed forces here?”

Porco leaned forward, but Reiner rested a hand on his shoulder, reminding him to not let his mouth run again. The Jaw Titan holder offered a vague answer again. “She respects the orders of the new Lord of Hizuru now.”

At that moment, Mikasa passed through the door with Jean following closely behind. In one hand, she cradled her military overcoat while her other hand clutched her blade tightly in her hold.

There was a moment of a fleeting panic on her face when she saw Reiner and Porco. As if it finally registered on her mind that the tall, blonde-haired man sitting opposite of Armin was now her lawfully-wedded husband who had come to her aid.

Before one of them could even say anything to the other, the sounds of hooves against the ground could be heard from the distance. The group instantaneously be on guard as they suspected that it could be a group of Jeagerists storming into their prisoners’ rescue.

However, there were no signs of panic nor alarm due to a sudden assault. Reiner approached the doorway, with Jean standing next to him, trying to make out the identity of the unannounced group of visitors. They saw Levi and Hange confronted the leader of the troop.

Reiner's eyes lit up upon realizing the identity of the group's leader.

“Pieck!”, exclaimed Porco upon seeing the face of his paramour as she approached the doorway. Yet they both remained professional, greeting each other with only a slight nod instead.

“Your Highness,” greeted Pieck with a bow when her eyes landed on Mikasa.

The royal heir bowed down. “Miss Pieck.” Before Mikasa could even ask about the children, the female shifter offered the information first. “The children have settled onboard the ship. They are under Lord Takeshi's care.”

“Children?” Reiner's amber eyes widened questioningly.

“Yes, Warchief Braun. Both Gabi and Falco are safe. All thanks to Lady Mikasa.”

He averted his gaze towards his wife, yearning for an explanation.

Mikasa shook her head, trying very hard to conceal the telltale reddening of her cheeks. “It was nothing.”

Pieck shook her head. “Your cousin was almost killed today if it wasn't for your-”

“Ms. Pieck- it’s really nothing.” Mikasa stammered, trying to stop Pieck from revealing the secret she had been trying to keep until the right time.

Reiner understood her predicament. No one else on Paradis’ side knew the nature of their new relationship.

Of course, she wouldn't want her former lover to know.

Reiner noticed Jean's questioning look and decided to divert the course of their conversation. “I am glad that they are both alright. What is the status of Lord Takeshi's  position?”

The long-haired female shifter offered a formal answer to her superior. “The Hizuru militants are armed and on standby for your orders, Warchief.”

At that moment, Armin finally picked up the last clue to the question which had been playing inside his mind the whole day.

The heirloom blade of the Azumabito family….

The new Warchief after Zeke's defection….

The Hizuru soldiers are placed under his direct command.

Which means he is the new Lord of Hizuru and the only way it could possibly happen would be……

…...by way of his marriage to Mikasa.

Just before Armin could even begin to point out his finding, the back door was thrown open suddenly by Levi, followed by Hange. “Zeke communicated with Eren through the paths. It is possible if we don't head out immediately, Eren would be here soon!”

Mikasa and Armin looked at each other before she pointed out, “There are children here!”

Her childhood friend gave everyone another grave reminder of how irredeemable was the Attack Titan holder. His sky blue eyes pierced deep into her grey irises as he said, “Eren had killed many more in Liberio. You saw it with your own two eyes. If we don’t stop Eren today, more innocent lives will be taken away. We have to do this. Not only for the families and the children here but even for your own unborn children too, Mikasa. They will never be safe.”

In that particular moment, Mikasa’s eyes met with Reiner’s in the short distance with mutual acceptance, or understanding even and Armin’s perceptive gaze had finally confirmed the suspicions that had been running around his head ever since Mikasa’s return from Hizuru. “If Eren succeeds in killing all of us shifters today, then, Mikasa, your sacrifice will be for nothing.”

Pieck and Reiner were very quick to pick up a very telling word in the young strategist's words.

He's the Colossal holder.

Levi grunted in frustration. “I should've mangled that monkey scum to untraceable pieces when I had the chance earlier.”

Armin shook his head. “Captain, you knew if you did that, the power could have possibly transferred to another Eldian child or even worst, the Queen's newborn. Right now we have to make sure that either Zeke or the baby is far away from Eren's reach.”

Reiner offered his opinion. “If Eren's coming here to retrieve Zeke, we'll bring the fight to him. The whole town of Shinganshina has been evacuated, isn't it?”

Both Hange and Levi nodded as a response to the question from Marley's new War Chief.

“Both Galliard and I will face Eren head-on with Galliard leading the first offensive and I will be the first defense. Your unit would be better position together with the troops I have brought from Hizuru with me. Pieck will serve as the long-range attack and defense. Your Colossal Titan shifter would be our last resort if everyone else failed to contain Eren.” Reiner knew one of his old friends standing in front of him was the one who consumed his late best friend's titan, yet he had no time nor space to mull over his personal grudge. Armin might have carried a pang of terrible guilt himself the way Bertolt did when he was still alive.

One thing he knew that regardless of the shifter, the Colossal powers will always be as dangerous as it had been the moment the power of Ymir was transferred to nine of their ancestors.

He sent a long glance at his wife, who was looking back at him in what he could daresay as hope.

He has a chance to make things right again today, though it may not erase his past sins but he would have an opportunity to make something good out of it and he would not let it go to waste.

Levi nodded and instructed his former unit. “Brats, time to suit up. We'll regroup in front of the house in fifteen.”

Mikasa protested her superior's orders. “Captain, I hope the order goes to everyone but yourself.”

Levi shook his head. “I'm fine.”

The younger Ackerman argued persistently. “You're injured!”

Hange nodded her head. “She's right and you know it, Levi.”

“I can't step back now. I've made an oath to be the one who takes that brat down the moment he betrays us and that moment is now.”

“I'll do it, Captain.” Mikasa insisted, despite the tremor in her voice.

“Don't brat, you're going to get yourself killed. I need you to live. Besides, our friends from Marley here won't be happy if something were to happen to their prisoner of war.”

“.......” Mikasa was taken aback by Levi's direct exclamation, a hint of pain flashed across her face upon learning that her only kin was very upset with her decision.

“I was updated by Arlert and Hange. Regardless of how I am feeling towards your decision, what you're doing is noble, Mikasa but right now, if something were to happen to you, more than two sides would suffer the consequences. We can't afford that to happen. We have to see the alliance through.”

“Ensuring her safety is our priority but Levi, I can assure you that is not our only concern right now,” insisted Reiner, much to everyone's surprise. The Armored Titan holder genuinely felt that it was his responsibility to rectify their current standing.

Levi looked up, the earlier stress and injury added a more intimidating expression on his face. “There's no use for a dead bride and a dead heir to a powerful empire for your government isn't it, Braun?”

“Marley and Hizuru are official allies now with Paradis following suit. Everyone's tired of fighting relentless wars, Sir. But we can never move forward until the current threat in Paradis is dealt with and we are here to assist not to take advantage.” The young War Chief stood straight and tall, with his right fist on top of his heart. The younger him would have gloated and folded his arms in ignorant arrogance, but the current him once again pledged his heart to humanity after so many years of turning his back against it.

Due to the big height differences, it might seem that the younger man was looking down at his former superior yet Levi could sense nothing but absolute honesty in Reiner's words.

Everyone in that room was surprised by Reiner's persistence, he was so very distinctly different from the young soldier they had known from five years ago.

Levi looked up to the Marley native, an eyebrow raised questioningly. “Her husband must be some important hotshot noble back in Marley huh?”

Reiner flustered, a hand ran through his blonde tresses as he stammered with a reply. His own face begun to redden. Porco decided to inject a short-lived humor the moment he piped in, “Noble? Not really. Hot? Depends on the Princess though.” He earned a poke at the ribs by the female shifter of their group.

Mikasa was already blushing furiously at that point, causing her to suspiciously turned her body away from the group, afraid that everyone would be able to witness the change on her expression. She was absolutely contemplating to storm off but even then she knew it would make the unbearable situation even worse.

Jean, their Squad Leader, much to her relief, decided to break the awkwardness by pointing out, “Captain, all of our gears are back at the barracks inside Wall Rose before we were jumped by Eren's followers. I'm not sure we have any equipments to begin with.”

It was rather obvious to the Marley War Chief that Jean was very, very bothered with their current conversation.

Their Commander, who had been the silent observer placed a hand on Jean's shoulder in a calm reassurance. “As I have always taught you, Jean. It never hurts to have a contingency plan. Go to the tool shed behind this house. Bring Connie, Armin, and Onyankopon with you. Bring everything you see inside the underground basement there to here.”

“Yes, ma'am!!” The young men saluted to Hange's instructions.

The remaining Survey Corps' members began to disburse with Jean leading the pack, heading straight to an old shack a stone's throw distance away from the farmhouse, Armin and Onyankopon following suit. According to Hange, she had been using the old tool shed as a secret storage for emergency military rations and supplies.

After a short quiet moment, a shrilling cry broke the silence inside the small, rustic hall of the wooden house. Anka rushed out in panic as she approached Hange and Mikasa, with the newborn in her arms. “Commander, the babe has not stopped crying since we bury the Queen. What should we do?”

Hange's eyes landed on the flushing infant. “Is the nursemaid on her way here?”

Anka nodded. “Mr. Henrik managed to find a neighbor about few houses away who had just given birth. She was very willing to nurse the Queen's heir, given the circumstances. She should be here anytime now.” She handed the crying infant princess over into Mikasa's waiting arms.

“Ms. Anka, are there any garments that Historia recently wore but yet to be cleaned? Can you please bring it to me?” asked Mikasa to the red-haired officer of the Garrison, to which Anka took prompt action in.

Now that the babe was up close in her own arms, Mikasa could see how beautiful the tiny human was. The babe cried, eyes shut in discomfort. Pieck moved closer to catch a glance over Mikasa's shoulder and cooed.

There was a small smile on Hange's face. In an ideal world and a different circumstance, the two women could pass off as a pair of sisters.

Anka returned with a long light pink-colored drape - Historia's favorite - and handed it over to the Hizuru princess. Mikasa used the fabric and wrapped it around the babe like a swaddle. She then rested the babe against her body, its face nestled between the juncture of her neck. Its flushed cheek touched gently on Mikasa's skin. The babe's mouth gently seeking the warmth offered, latching greedily looking to have her first feeding. Nonetheless, the incessant crying stopped.

Reiner swore he felt time stopped when his eyes took in the vision right in front of him. Never he would've imagined that someone who had gone through so many horrors - with all the weight on her shoulders, who had the same amount of blood on her hands the way he did - could be as gentle and comforting.

Why did it feel as if he has seen this before?

Was it in his dreams?

Anka sighed helplessly. “She's definitely hungry. Poor thing.”

Hange looked in amazement. “Skin to skin contact between a newborn and its mother is very important. How did you learn that, Mikasa?”

Mikasa took in a deep breath. “When the human traffickers attacked my home ten years ago, my mother was with child. She'd been teaching me on the ways I could have assisted her when she gives birth. But I not only lost my parents that day, but I also lost what could've been my little brother. That's what Dr. Jeager said.”

Pieck sent a sympathizing look at the young noble heir, having been able to understand some of the Princess' origins from the whispers of the people back in Hizuru. Even Porco was giving a questioning look at Reiner, who looked away regretfully, in response.

Reiner couldn't even begin to envision the immense pain Mikasa had gone through way before they met as trainees. She had lost her family to real demon incarnates and the following year, she had lost not only another home but a family again due to his government's misguided assault against humanity.

Due to his actions.

“You'll have a family, I promise….” She whispered softly against the top of the babe’s dark hair, still damp from her first bath. Even then Mikasa knew that the little infant would not only be the ward of the Azumabito clan, but a true member of their already mixed family.

That was when Reiner's gaze, once again locked with hers from across the room.

He nodded his head as a sign of his support, much to her surprise. Nevertheless, she gave a similar nod in return. Eyes clouded with a glassy look for a child she had just met.

Unbeknownst to them, almost everyone in the room noticed the rather privy, intimate exchange between the two individuals.

Levi began to make his way to the shed where their current prisoners were detained. “I'm going to have one last chat with Zeke before we head out.”

His words broke the instant and silent connection between his kin and the young new leader of Marley and Hizuru. “Commander, Captain, seeking permission to seek an audience with your prisoner as the current Warchief of Marley?”

Hange nodded, while Levi shrugged. “If anyone so much shifts when they're not supposed to, I am slaying someone's neck on the spot.”

“So, they made you the new Warchief? Didn't take them long to replace me….” Zeke's voice was a hoarse whisper, like a raspy air was struggling to escape from the column of his throat. His body was tied against the large post in the middle of the empty barn, save for a cluster of haystacks. “You've always been a smart one, Reiner. One day they'll discard you too and you know it.”

Reiner shook his head. “When you betrayed Marley and left, you have no idea what was left behind back in Liberio. It would've become a wasteland if it wasn't for Hizuru's assistance.”

There was a cynical laugh from the lips of the Beast Titan holder. “You are still a naive young boy. Hizuru played a part in this from the very beginning. You've been playing into Kiyomi Azumabito's hands right now and you still don't realize it.”

Porco stepped up, his fist enclosed in a pent-up rage. “What do you mean??”

“She has a very particular interest in Paradis and she's using the upcoming war between all of the other World nations against this Island to monopolize the iceburst stone's mining for her own country's gain. Little Miss Ackerman is her golden key.”

Before Reiner could move forward and demand a further explanation from his former superior, Levi Ackerman stepped in as he grabbed a handful of their prisoner's flaxen hair and spoke directly into Zeke's face. Only a breathe's distance was between them.

“WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? F'KING EXPLAIN BEFORE I BUST ANOTHER EYE! WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH MIKASA?”

“Jeez, Levi, catch a breath will you….” Zeke coughed, more blood flowed down the corner of his lips. “Mikasa Ackerman is nothing more than a beautiful and very useful puppet for Hizuru to sink their claws deep into Paradis soil. They need her to further their agenda: invading Paradis’ natural resources. They moved faster than anyone. The Azumabito family are just a bunch of money-hungry opportunists.”

Levi grunted in disagreement. “For your information, Liberio's people are now indebted to Hizuru. Mikasa is nothing like them. She sacrificed her freedom by binding herself to an Eldian man from Marley in marriage all for the sake of your own people's survival.”

Zeke laughed between fits of bloody coughs. “Who'd knew Mikasa Ackerman had it in her all along…..willing to spread her legs for an enemy all for the sake of ‘peace’.”

Reiner's fist connected with Zeke's jaw out of nowhere, catching Levi and Hange by surprise. Their eyes widened in curiosity at their former subordinate's immediate action.

The holder of the Armored Titan spat back. “I won't allow you to talk shit about my wife with your filthy, treacherous mouth, Zeke. She's too pure to lay with an enemy yet merciful enough that she didn't kill me on our marriage bed even when she had all the chance last night.”

There was a small 'Oh’ that came from Hange upon hearing Reiner's revelation, while Levi, who had eventually picked up the connection much earlier, stepped in front of Reiner and calmly commented, “Stand down, soldier. This piece of shit has no idea what's been happening since he defected.”

“I apologize, Captain Levi. If you'll excuse me….I really need to step out before I kill this traitor.” Reiner took his leave and head out of the barn's door, it closed with a frustratingly loud thud. Pieck and Porco remained vigil, knowing that their close friend and immediate superior was very bothered by Zeke's disrespect towards the Hizuru Princess.

Pieck made her words known. “Things are changing, Zeke. Reiner is not only the new Warchief but he is also now the Lord of Hizuru. He would not allow any sides to take advantage of the other. We are achieving peace and it's truly sad you won't be alive long enough to witness it.”

“As always, Pieck proves herself right, isn't it Zeke?” taunted Porco towards the traitor to their homeland.

Levi added, “Don't threaten him too much. His neck's still connected to the Spear's trigger. One wrong move, the whole place will blow up along with everyone here.”

“I will not die until I have carried my mission and it is to save all Eldians from a miserable fate,” there was a pause as Zeke struggled to breathe. “The key is euthanasia. I will use the Founding Titan's powers to cease all Eldians from the capability to breed. I will make sure that none of us will ever give life to new Titan shifters and the bloodline will die with the last child ever born today. We are a curse by mere existence.”

Levi spat out a curse word, before uttering, “Who the hell do you think you are? To decide how others should live? Not you, not Eren, not the King should decide for others.”

Zeke then began to unfold his own history, one of his childhood and the horrors he had experienced as a young boy inflicted by his own parents through negligence and selfish ambitions.

Mikasa stood in front of the vanity mirror, looking at the weary reflection she saw in front of her. It was another irony of her life.

Yesterday, she was standing in a wedding dress yet today, she was standing in her own Survey Corps battle suit, one that she had thought she would no longer need to don anymore.

You're nothing without me, aren't you?

Those words kept replaying inside her head, again and again, growing louder in the still silence of the small room - one that Historia had used as her bedroom. Her granite eyes lingered over the bed, still warm from the Queen's dying form. It was unbearable when the thought of her dear friend was still alive and breathing only several hours earlier.

She had died so Eren's daughter could live.

It never gets easier every time she had to bury a friend. To think that she would've become numb at this point already.

And the thought of having to put an end to the infant's father once and for all shook her to the core of her heart.

When her hands stopped in the middle of fastening the chest plate bearing the Wings of Freedom, she was sorely reminded of the last time she was prepping for the rescue mission in Liberio, Sasha was the one who helped her with her gear and equipping the Thunder Spears on the mechanical launchers.

“We'll bring him back home together, Mika.”

Those were apparently Sasha's last words to her ever. It was not even a proper goodbye. There was never a need to.

They did bring Eren back home, along with Sasha's cold dead body, with a fresh gunshot wound on her chest and according to Connie - Eren's bitter laugh as a response to her death.

Are you even beyond saving, Eren?

There was a gentle rap against the wooden door.

She tilted her head slightly and noticed Reiner's tall figure standing next to the doorway from the mirror's reflection. It was always in his previous nature to be the one who approached with a question or words, yet at that moment, his mind wasn't able to conjure any intelligible thoughts.

Afraid that he'd say the wrong things again.

It was very fortunate because she had the same notion too.

Here they were again, meeting alone behind closed doors and four walls.

Yet, she didn't turn him away or asked him to leave when he closed the door behind him and settled himself against a wall.

She continued to fasten the remaining buckles on the right side of her chest and on her thighs. The reflective surface of the chest plate glinted in the light of the lantern.

Seeing her up close clad in a military suit truly caught Reiner off guard - no, it wasn't because of the usual intimidating look she has on her face, but upon knowing how the sleek black suit contained a very enormous power within.

Whether it was a wedding dress or a battle suit, her silent strength was visible regardless.

The feature that set them apart was the unavoidable fact that he is a Titan shifter but her….she is a Titan in human form.

He had always known her as a fearless fighter since they were younger but this day, he could truly witness her strength and resolve - even more so after she had lost so many times, again and again. She would still get herself back up and continue to fight for the ones she loves.

Mikasa continued to tighten the straps of her gear, oblivious to the way Reiner's eyes were fixated on her reflection and the way he averted his gaze respectfully when he saw the back of her suit which was still undone.

He began to point out with his words and tiny gestures of his fingers, “The back's still….” Yet, his words hung unfinished, as his cheeks began to redden.

Why would he feel embarrassed now when he was the one who helped undid her dress yesterday?

Mikasa looked up towards the taller man, a quizzical look on her face. Yet, she finally noticed the way the suit loosened against her back. She never did utter a sound when she let his hands pulled the zipper up starting from the bottom of her spine. Although there was indeed a tiny shiver emanating from the insides of her body when she felt the tips of his long fingers brushing gently against her skin, ghosting unintentionally lingering touches in its course.

“The last time we were getting ready for battle, Sasha helped me. I'm so used to having her helping me that I-” Her words wandered aimlessly, her lips shut in a painful reminiscent. Her sunken eyes locked with his honey eyes, exhaustion against loneliness.

She had lost her parents, her home, Sasha, Historia and she knew she was on the verge of losing Eren when the sun rises.

He wanted to say….

You're not alone.

I'm here for you.

I've never stopped being your friend.

But all those words seemed more content in nesting inside his throat. Never to be said, only meant to be kept.

All he could do was to give a solemn look instead - like the coward he was - when she looked away from their reflections on the vanity mirror. Her body began to turn slightly facing his direction, hoping to excuse herself and place a distance in their close proximity.

He could literally be standing in front of her, only a whisper's distance between their heads yet they would always be oceans apart. The top of her head almost reached the bottom of his chin as he looked down at his young bride's blank face who averted her eyes away from looking into his.

He was about to turn his body around when the deafening sound of an unmistakable explosion could be heard from behind the farmhouse, followed by an earth-shattering rumble in its aftermath.

It was exactly like a rerun of Liberio's assault that night.

His first instinct was to shift but he couldn't do that without destroying the farmhouse in return.

Therefore, his reflexive action was to hold his arms out and grabbed onto the young woman in front of him in a protective manner as he pressed their bodies forward onto the floor.

Reiner felt as if time stood still the moment his forehead hit the dusty wooden floor of the bedroom upon impact from the explosion. His sudden movements caused dust to fly upwards as an aftermath. His heart beat fast, too loud that he could hear its thundering beats inside his own ears - mixed with the shrilling chain of noise that follows a blast.

It was only when his nose caught a whiff of the same intriguing floral scent that took him back to his matrimonial chambers, did he lift his head and opened his eyes to see Mikasa's confused face - torn between anger and shock.

She really began to hate these series of explosions.

He knew his weight would've placed a significant pressure against her chest yet the raven-haired Princess of Hizuru could only send a partially terrified-partially worried look to him.

“Are you alright?” The exact same sentence came out of their mouths coincidentally.

His right hand was cradled around her head, shielding it from potential damage from the fall. His other hand wrapped tightly around her slender waist.

Apparently, Mikasa had the same notion in her mind, with her arms hooked underneath his and her grip tight against the sturdy muscle on his back, pulling his body tight against hers.

Here they were, in each other's arms just like the night before. The only difference was at that moment, there was nothing but worry instead of an existing animosity.

The shrilling noise that followed the explosion stopped ringing in their ears. Sounds of people shouting, running and doors been thrown open followed the aftermath. Heavy footsteps could be heard hitting the ground around them.

“Commander!!!” Someone's voice could be heard faintly, coming from the direction of the barn.

“Mikasa, are you alright?” The door was thrown open suddenly, revealing the remaining loyal shifter of Paradis, clad in an all-black ensemble of the new Survey Corps’ military uniform.

Armin stood frantic at the doorway, he struggled to catch the breath that he lost while making his way there. Upon assessing the situation right in front of his eyes, he knew his childhood friend was alright. Reiner pulled himself away the moment Mikasa lifted herself up to a sitting position, sending a question to the blonde prodigy. “We're alright. What just happened?”

“Jean and the others are still assessing the situation. No doubt, that was a Thunder Spear earlier and it blew up the whole barn.”

“Shit…shit...”

Reiner cursed under his breath as he began to realize that Porco and Pieck were still inside the barn when he left. Yet, when he looked at his new bride’s face, he found not the ever calm there but only sheer panic and fear instead as Mikasa's breathing grew heavier.

She began to hyperventilate.

His heart broke.

Please give me the strength to protect her calm.

A/N: Okay that was another long chapter but I am not sorry because I want my lovely readers to be able to read this over the weekend. Tell me which was your favorite part of this chapter or what you hoped to see in the next one :) Till next chapter!

Chapter Text

A/N: A special shout out to regin4, runicrunes, nanidafuq, RubyL and zethamsel05 for your beautiful comments and inspiring words on the previous chapter. It always brings me great joy upon reading your amazing feedback and it truly motivates me further to work on this story.

I apologize as it has been more than four months since the last chapter was published. I was a bit torn in the direction of this story with each new manga chapter that comes out every month. I would like to preempt the readers of As You Are that although I have mapped out roughly on how I want this story to progress, new plot points have come to me recently. It will add more dramatic elements, which includes a potential separation of an already established ship in the story so far with only their best ending in mine (Spoiler Alert/Hint: I love Porco so much that I would like him to continue living in As You Are’s universe and I have so many plans for him. We all know what happened to him in canon. My heart is still breaking! And Pieck is one of my best girls and I want her to have a happy ending too!)

This chapter is dedicated to Reiner, who just celebrated his birthday a few days earlier on the first day of August. I will continue to write a happy ending for you in my universe, bud.

Without further ado, this chapter is inspired by Svrcina’s Meet Me on The Battlefield . Happy reading! Do share your thoughts or favorite moments in the comments below :)

As You Are

Chapter Seven

Battlefield

Meet me on the battlefield
Even on the darkest night
I will be your sword & shield, your camouflage
And you will be mine

Echos and the shots ring out
We may be the first to fall
Everything can stay the same or we can change it all
Meet me on the battlefield

We stand face-to-face
With our unhuman race
We commit the sins again and our sons and daughters pay
Our tainted history, it's playing on repeat
But we could change it if we stand up strong and take the lead

12 days after the attack on Liberio.

Mikasa stared helplessly at the Attack Titan's action as it inflicted destruction on the many soldiers trying to stop him with their bullets and cannons. Eren's Titan roared loudly in frustration before it stomped his feet around to repel the small, annoying attacks.

Like pests.

He stomped down on those soldiers protecting the town and the people of Paradis like annoying little insects, whose lives meant nothing to him. They were nothing more than mere, puny obstacles in his path to trigger the Rumbling and give the rest of the world his middle finger in protest.

Those soldiers fought on even if they have no interests or profit to gain from Paradis nor they knew of anyone there.

They were only soldiers following orders to protect their leader's people.

The Cart Titan provided her very best to shield as many soldiers of various colored military attires as she could from on top of the Wall, with the steel armor on its body. On top of her back was an improvised set of turrets - like a battle station, complete with its own cannons - one of the many reinforcements that were flown in from Marley just when the confrontation with Eren Jeager began. The turrets were bleeding clouds of smoke after firing the previous set of bullets towards the Attack and Warhammer Titan's circle of crystallized spikes. One of the spikes pierced through the Armored Titan's form.

"Commander Magath, please reload the next round while the Attack Titan is still down," instructed the Cart Titan. Pieck knew the next opening is the critical point - one could determine the fate of humanity's survival.

The Jaw Titan, previously stuck on top of one of crystal spikes lunged at the Attack Titan, its jaw wide open, aiming straight to the Attack Titan's back. But Eren was having none of the Jaw's sneak attack. His Titan form generated multiple spikes on its back, pushing Galliard's Titan back. The moment the Attack Titan's focus was shifted to the Jaw, Reiner took the opening and tackled its opponent, locking it in a prime position - for the target of the cannon from the Cart Titan's arsenal.

The Attack Titan's head exploded the moment the cannonball hit its target, cutting it off from its neck, the remaining entrails oozing a large cloud of smoke from within the opening. The Attack Titan stood still, as still as the battlefield and the armies looking up anxiously for the menacing Titan's impending retaliation. The Armored Titan stood tall, immobile as it had its opponent's Titan figure in a tight grip. Reiner could sense The Jaw Titan's figure approaching, its wide jaw expanded, ready to devour Eren Jeager. 

"Wait!" Her voice was loud in the deafening silence. The Armored Titan lifted his left hand up, signaling the Jaw to stand down and wait. They both could see the Hizuru princess' body propelling upwards and landing on the juncture of the Attack Titan's left shoulder.

She used her gear's sharp steel blade to slice the Attack Titan's nape open, revealing the Titan shifter's figure, encased in a cluster of Titan shifting veins.

"Why did you stop me? You are not supposed to be here!" Eren's angry emerald eyes was a deathly glare against her face. "I will kill you and everyone here!"

"Eren, please. Stop. You don't have to do this anymore."

"I will never stop until I have taken all of the shifters powers. This is the only way to save you, Armin and her."

Releasing her grip from her gear's handles, she lifted her hands and cupped them around the raving mad shifter's face. The shifter lines seemed more painful and terrifying than they had ever been before. "Eren...you're not making everything better. She-Historia has passed on giving birth to her daughter. YOUR daughter."

"Historia...What are you saying? She's….." The light began to lose its gleam in Eren's emerald green eyes, as his childhood friend's words began to sink in slowly into his mind and consciousness. He shook his head slowly in pure disbelief. "No-it's not possible! I'm supposed to get it right this time! Mikasa, I'm supposed to save her!"

Her tears began trickling down her cheeks again for that day. Regardless of how he pushed them away, seeing Eren hurt still pains her every time - without fail.

"You can still save your daughter's future. If you surrender now, they will ensure that you still get to be with her. Peace will be the answer for her without us having to shed more blood. We have found another way to end all of this." Mikasa's own conscience was eating her soul from the inside but she disregarded the gnawing feeling. There was no way in hell the Council and the Commander would let Eren be even ten feet away from his own child. Yet this could be the only opportunity she has for them to put an end to the century-long oppression and prejudice.

He gritted his teeth. "Step aside. This isn't your fight!"

"Is that how you would honor her mother?"

"I love her. All of this is for them, Mikasa. Their future. I can't screw this one chance up."

"I know...." Mikasa shook her head weakly as a response. "Do you believe what Zeke wants is the right thing? To deny all Eldians' existence in the future? Is this what Historia would have wanted?" She needed to hear it from him directly. She needed to be sure that her next course of action would be the right one as well.

"Not a chance in the devil's hell, Mikasa. The Rumbling is meant to divert Zeke's focus all along. I promised that I would end all of this pain. I promise you, Armin, Historia and our child a safe future."

Mikasa drew in a long breath. She wasn’t very certain if she could still and truly trust any of Eren’s words. "If only you could just listen. There are people who want the same things as you do. Hizuru, Marley and the rest of the world. They understand now. I've helped make them understand."

"They are too proud to bow down to others."

"Marley and Paradis have agreed on a permanent alliance. We can end this war. Haven't we been fighting for peace? And I-"

A strong object propelled to the top of the roof next to their location, it exploded instantaneously upon contact. The sudden impact robbed her of the rest of the words that could have helped her seize the moment. Mikasa gritted her teeth in frustration. This was the only opportunity to negotiate for a truce in the midst of battle. She looked around for the source of the interruption.

The straggling object came from the top of Wall Maria followed by a dark shadow - its stature tall on top of the northern gate. The new yet familiar arrival's dark figure - long furry limbs and blood-red eyes - loomed over the watchful eyes of the soldiers below.

'You've done your part, Eren. Now, let big brother protect you.'

The Beast Titan's sudden assault from the top of the walls caught everyone off guard, but not to Pieck's surprise as she prepared herself by evading the incoming projectiles. The Cart Titan barely escaped the consecutive waves of sharp rocks unscathed.

"Zeke!" Eren sent a sharp gaze at his own brother's hulking Titan form. Part of him was glad that Zeke appeared to his aid, but his friends were not supposed to be in the line of fire. The remaining members of the 104th Survey corps division are not miscalculations he was willing to make.

He knew Zeke well enough to know that his estranged older brother would decimate everyone on sight if they are a hindrance to his mission. It was the sole reason why he had to push Mikasa, Armin, Jean, and Connie away. They had lost Sasha, he would not lose another person he cared about. Not if he has everything under his control.

Zeke was smart and Eren thought he could outsmart his own flesh and blood with his last, final plan.

He had to hurt Mikasa and Armin.

He’d rather be the arsehole that pushed his loved ones away into safety even if it meant burning everything in sight, ripping the world apart and let them rebuild it in new infinite peace after his death.

Mikasa's eyes widened in shock. Zeke perished in the explosion at the barn hours earlier. Didn't he?

How could he still be here and alive?

"Mikasa!" Eren's voice was like a thunderous noise resounding in her head.

She looked back at him in an anticipated aggravation. She believed she was but she realized that her heart was still unwilling to be the one who slays him today if he proves to be supporting Zeke's mad ambition.

The soft glint in Eren’s eyes turned darker again. His cold, icy stare went straight to her aching heart. "How would you even think that they would accept our people here in Paradis? You’re just a naive girl, Mikasa. Why would these people even listen to you?" ‘I’m sorry, Mikasa. Hate me. Leave me. I just want you safe.’

Her lips quivered in disbelief, a dark contradiction to the pooling tears in her eyes. "Are you aware that Zeke poisoned the wines Yelena brought with her from Marley? Almost all of our people drank his spinal fluid. That poor boy from Marley had -"

Eren's jaw tightened upon hearing the information. It seemed that his older brother is beating him again in his plans. "Like I would give a damn about that boy and everyone whose stupid enough to take in whatever Marley feeds us!"

“Please, Eren. You're not making any sense! Historia-”

“-is gone and there’s nothing left for me here. Stop me again and I will kill you too.”

Yet again, Eren knew he might be able to kill two birds with one stone after all. Take down one Titan shifter and fulfill two of his missions - both as the Attack and the Founding. He could use Zeke's miscalculation to his advantage.

All while his mind was conjuring up a contingency move, a large piece from the broken parts of the wall - as big as the boulder that he had used to plug the hole in Wall Rose - was heading straight to his childhood friend and adopted sister, accompanied by a sinister laugh from Zeke's Titan.

By the time he realized the approaching projectile - he resented the fact that it was almost too late.

He turned his head around towards her direction, hands clenched tightly into hardened fists. “I had enough of your incessant meddling. JUST DIE!” ‘I’m sorry, Mikasa. I need you and Armin to live.’

He pushed her off the Attack Titan's broken shoulders down onto the uncertain streets below.

‘Why??’ Mikasa struggled in grasping the handles of her gear - for the first time ever. She wanted to believe that there is still goodness in the young man’s heart. Oh Kami, she desperately wanted to believe. If she dies in front of his eyes right now, would it finally bring him the peace he was searching for?

Her eyes took in the vision of the attack Titan holder’s cold, unperturbed face as the image gradually becoming smaller and smaller the further and further down her body fell. The initial impact shoved the handles away from her tight grip and she could only in hopelessness, watched the way the end of her fingertips was barely brushing against the tip of the steel surface as they slid further away from her, its distance grew significantly larger with her thundering heartbeat.

‘Give up, Mikasa. The very reason for your living is the very same one hellbent in ceasing its existence.’

She failed. She failed everyone. She crushed their hopes of peace. Historia. Armin. Captain. Commander. Everyone in Paradis. Madam Kiyomi. Lord Hosokawa.

Her eyes closed in ultimate dejection. Maybe Eren was right all along. She was powerless to make a change and save more innocents from death.

She was engulfed in immediate darkness the moment she felt her back landed against a warm surface. ‘What happened?’ Still lying down on whatever it was that saved her from an inevitable end, she groped around blindly in the dark, hoping to shed a figurative light to her predicament.

After several more seconds of feeling the warm and sturdy ground underneath her, the light finally came when she felt the light breeze of air against her face the moment she looked up to see the Jaw Titan’s face looking down at her perched against its giant palm. The hulking Titan figure took caution with its long, sharp talons from grazing the Hizuru princess.

‘Galliard…..’

Galliard’s fortunate rescue was not an unwelcomed assistance yet Mikasa could only muster an appreciative nod before they both looked on as the Armored Titan’s figure swerved by and tackled the Attack Titan’s lifeless form to the ground, with Eren barely evading the incoming attack. The Armored Titan pummeled its opponent in a raged frenzy before holding the Attack Titan’s form in its ironclad grip, causing Mikasa to stand up abruptly in a reflexive stance when she earned a low warning grunt from the Jaw. The raven-haired female soldier looked on in defeat as she did not need another reminder that the new alliance’s objective was to stop both the Beast and the Attack Titan at all cause - even if the only option left available was for an instant kill.

Mikasa felt herself elevated and realized that Galliard was placing her on a rooftop belonging to one of the nearby abandoned buildings a safe distance away from the fight. She wanted to protest but Galliard didn’t waste any seconds longer in lunging towards the Beast Titan's direction, providing aid to the Cart Titan’s counterattack.

“Mikasa!!” A masculine voice called out, followed by the landing of three soldiers next to her on the abandoned building’s rooftop.

Jean approached her, his hands tight against his own gear. “Are you hurt?”

She shook her head weakly. “I’m fine. All thanks to the Jaw." Her eyes landed on the blonde-hair strategist and offered her status update. "Armin, Eren is beyond saving. If we don’t do something, Zeke will trigger the Rumbling and the euthanization. Or just as worst, scream and turn our higher-ups into pure Titans.”

"You can take my extra gear handles, Mikasa," offered Connie upon realizing that Mikasa's hand gears had lost the main triggers in the earlier altercation. He was very quick to attach the missing parts to the equipment Mikasa was using.

"Thank you, Connie."

The Colossal Titan holder’s face was drenched in cold sweat as his brain tried to conjure up a possible contingency plan at that particular moment. Reiner warned him that he should only shift if all of the three shifters from Marley are completely decimated but it would still be at the cost of the innocent soldiers' lives fighting down below and the ones with him. “Jean, Connie, you have to support Reiner in keeping or adding the distance between Eren and Zeke. Mikasa and I will assist the Marley Commander with the Bea-”.

“Hold it right there.” A strong voice interrupted their strategizing. A gun grasped tightly in her hand, the tall, blonde female made herself known the moment the four soldiers turned their bodies around towards her direction.

Yelena cocked the gun once, giving a smug and confident grin. Her messiahs will succeed in bringing the world to its ultimate destruction and making sure these heathens stay out of Zeke’s way is her only priority. “No one moves or I will blow a hole in your head. You shall not interfere with the great Zeke’s ambitions.”

Connie spat to the ground in utter disgust upon hearing Yelena’s crazy idolization of Zeke’s selfish ideals. “Great ambition, my ass. You’re supporting mass murder!”

A loud laugh could be heard coming out of the Marleyan traitor’s lips. “What are the merciful killings of a group on non-believers compared to the greater good? Zeke’s utopia will be the ultimate way of living.”

“Thing is,” Jean interrupted her speech. There was a glint of anger in his light brown eyes. “There’s no way of living if you have no legacy or children to leave behind.”

Yelena snickered back. “You’re content in continuing the filthy Eldian blood currently flooding the world we live in?”

Mikasa’s eyes squinted in annoyance. “Isn't it rich coming from someone who has dirty Eldian blood flowing inside her own veins? Armin, can’t you see she’s stalling? We have no time for this!”

“Nah uh-uh, Ackerman. Maybe if I shoot you in the head right now, you’ll take my words seriously. Oh, as a matter of fact, if you die this very instance, all sides will be fucked, isn't it? Wouldn't that be interesting? Maybe I should just make this easier for everyone.”

A loud roar halted Yelena’s ongoing threat. Connie and Armin rushed towards the rooftop's brick edges, with Mikasa and Jean following closely behind.

"Reiner's down!" Connie shouted as soon as he observed the battle happening below, looking back at Armin's face while the latter immediately turned his gaze towards his raven-haired childhood friend.

Mikasa cleverly hid the concerned look on her face but Armin knew her better. The wrinkles between her eyebrows were a dead giveaway and her eyes….he knew that Eren was not her biggest worry at that moment.

Jean clasped Armin's shoulder, breaking his thought process. "Armin, Eren's on the run and he's heading straight for Zeke! We have to go. NOW!"

Yelena stood on a brick wall, protruding dangerously at the corner of the rooftop, holding her hands up high in celebration as she sang deranged praises to worship her chosen Messiah.

The stark raving madness on Yelena's face was the last thing Mikasa remembered right before she jumped downwards and propelled towards the fallen titans.

14 days after the attack on Liberio.

“Your Highness...Princess Mikasa, are you still with us?” A low, hoarse voice broke her clouded thoughts of falling bodies and screaming soldiers clad in uniforms of different colors and insignias.

Black. Wings of Freedom. Survey Corps of Paradis.

Beige. Star of Marley. Titan Support unit of Liberio.

Dark blue. Three warrior blades. An emblem of a mythical creature. The naval fleet of Hizuru.

In the still conference space, the only sound she could hear was her own breathing, coming into and out of her lungs in a restrained, cathartic rhythm. Her eyes glazed over the various drapes displaying the official sigils of the four main forces in attendance inside that hall, represented by nothing less than the top-ranking officials for each nation. Lauded as the first World Peace Conference by the press - both locally and all over the world, never would Mikasa imagined that one day, she would be sitting here and carried a very critical role in Paradis’ first step towards a peaceful existence.

"Your highness, could you recall back the moment when you informed the accused, of the deceased Zeke Jeager's plot in turning Paradis' military personnel into pure, mindless titans for his own control. Do you believe the accused was in cohorts with the deceased - who is also his own brother - to orchestrate a global-wide mass euthanization or worst, mass murder?"

From general public observation, the young heir of the East Sea Empire was calm and collected but only those close enough would be able to decipher the agitation hidden within.

This was not the first time she was in audience with the advisors of the World Allied Nation's council. A deep breath escaped her lips as she knew it will never get easier to be in the center of a proceeding, even more so when her words would be one of the many pivotal factors that will determine the verdict of Eren's actions.

As a soldier, Eren would have been trialed in a court marshall, but as a global ‘terrorist’, the Council rejected the pleas for a trial on the grounds of the humanitarian law of the council, hellbent in preserving humanity and justice.

Both Hange and Armin noticed the way her hands fidgeted against the surface of her royal house's emblem, made of silk embroidery, sewn tightly against the light blue satin drape she was wearing as the official representative of the Azumabito family. She was wearing the formal color of the Hizuru empire, even though she would rather be donning her dark green military overcoat and be seated amongst the members of the Survey Corps instead.

Her gunmetal eyes moved from the faces of the council's advisors to Hange, Nile Dawk, Dot Pixis, Keith Shadis, Armin, Jean, and Connie sitting in the first row behind them, meant for the representatives of Paradis.

While she was seated at the front - the central point of the discussion where the witnesses take their stand. She was called in as a witness yet she felt she was the one being placed on trial and under scrutiny. 

"I believe that Eren has his goals, ones he wasn't- no, wouldn't disclose to his own comrades, let alone his Commanding Officer. But I do believe that he was taken aback when I informed him of the Beast holder's actual plan."

"You do agree that his goals were radical?"

"He is not a terrorist. He fights for Eldians' right of continuity, future, and peace."

"But his assault in Liberio proved otherwise, Your Highness. You would know it best - you were there, didn’t you? You went to his aid."

"Yes I did come to his aid but that wasn't-" There was a slight pause in her response. She wasn’t going to divulge the rather complicated nature of her childhood friend’s intentions nor executions and yet whatever her response would be next - it would be determinant to relieve Eren of a heavier sentence or send him straight to the executioner’s block.

Who was she trying to convince otherwise? Eren’s actions are irredeemable with mere imprisonment.

It was an awful truth she wasn’t ready to accept. They will rule out an immediate termination.

This was even worse than Eren’s first court marshall after the Battle of Trost six years ago. Eren is not around to offer a defense nor Captain Levi to offer his assurance.

“All I can say is that, in the end, Eren sacrificed his own brother to save everyone.”

“He did, Your Highness. But isn’t that more proof that the power of the Titans, especially the Founding are dangerous and must be contained effective immediately?”

“That is what Eren was trying to do.”

“The end doesn't justify the means. Are you saying that you supported his actions?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Tell us, Your Highness. Where does your loyalty lie?”

“I do not see how my loyalty is relevant in this situation.”

“Your answer will make or break the alliance proposed by the Council. It determines the course of action against Eren Jeager’s heinous act of terror against all humans - Eldians or not. It determines whether Marley and Paradis can call upon a permanent truce for peace. Did you not vow your loyalty to Marley only four days ago? If we do not pass a fair judgment towards the mass-murderer who attacked the Eldians in Marley two weeks ago, then who should be held responsible for all of this never-ending attack on humanity? Eren Jeager's execution is only one of the many decisions the council and the representatives from all the nations involved must decide on today. Please understand our urgency, Your Highness.”

She decided she was not a fan of the tone the lead advisor took with her.

There was a long silence before a deep voice intervened,  "Pardon me, Your Excellency." The voice could be heard coming from the left side of the hall - where the delegates of Marley were seated. All heads turned to look at the man standing at the front row, garbed in light brown formal overcoat bearing the star of Marley insignia on its lapel and left arm sleeve.

Apparently, Mikasa wasn't the only one who has an issue with the way the lead advisor is conducting his questioning.

The lead advisor turned his head around with a scrutinizing gaze, hidden behind a pair of tinted lenses, at the same gentleman who had the audacity to interrupt his questioning. “Yes, young man?”

More out of courtesy than respect, the person who spoke out took the cue to provide a more formal introduction of himself. “I am Reiner Braun, the Warchief of the Titan Unit in Marley, second detachment infantry from Liberio.” The tall, blonde-haired young military veteran cleared his sparse throat before continuing his words. “I am also the Armored Titan holder.”

“Young Warchief, would you have anything against the assault by Eren Jeager on your hometown? Are you supporting or against his execution?”

“If Eren is to be executed for the attack on Liberio, then I should be executed the same way for initiating the first attack against the Eldians in Paradis nine years ago. I am the only survivor from the three Titan holders responsible for the attack. At least, from what I know.” He wasn't even sure if Annie is somewhat still alive somewhere, yet, if she were, he’d still take full responsibility for their actions.

Small collective gasps could be heard coming from the Marley and Hizuru entourage.

'Are you crazy?' Galliard whispered through gritted teeth as he exchanged looks with Magath who was sitting next to Reiner.

The lead advisor gripped the feathered quill in his hand. "Are you volunteering to go down the same route as Eren Jeager's potential verdict, Warchief Braun?"

There was a slight pause when he looked down at his own hands, grasping at the wooden table’s surface. As if he was recalling the amount of immeasurable blood he has had in his hands for the past eleven years.

“I am very affected as the assault had robbed Liberio of countless deaths and destruction but I could not close my eyes to the fact that it was a retaliation against my own actions towards Paradis years before, even though I was an eleven-year-old child soldier at that time, executing only what my government demanded me to do. It only means that I have, in a deliberate way, played a part in the attack,” pleaded Reiner, all while his gaze alternatively moved from the lead advisor and occasionally lingered at the young woman sitting directly in front of the Council members.

The lead advisor lifted a hand up in a questioning manner, absolutely taken aback by the younger man’s confession. “You’re out of your mind, son! Are you pleading guilty for the attack against humanity in Paradis nine years ago?”

Reiner nodded. Firm and resolute. “Yes, I do and I deserve the same verdict as Eren Jeager.”

“Objection!” Magath stood up but the lead advisor lifted up one hand, telling the hall to remain calm. Mikasa could observe that Madam Kiyomi was about to stand up and make her opinions known too.

The rest of the council members could be seen whispering to one another, and the rest of the hall’s occupants began to throw out their own opinions amongst themselves - some objecting to the War Chief’s plea and some actually agreeing for his retribution. Mikasa looked at the faces she knew and for some reason, the way Jean looked back at her - it was as if he was dying to know what would be her stand in regards to Reiner’s earlier plea.

Now that they have reached a point where everything - past, history, and reasons - has been placed on the table. It was rather clear what her stand would be.

She was angry, disappointed but she wouldn’t wish for either Eren or Reiner to be executed.

The council members took control of the situation and it wasn’t long before one of them stood up and asked for the lead advisor’s permission to speak up.

“Young Warchief, do you acknowledge the fact that you are in a very unique position, as we might say….” There was a sudden pause as the elderly man with a refined mustache took one glimpse at the light brown parchment in his hand before continuing, “As of four days ago, you were elected as the new Lord of the Hizuru empire instantaneously after you have joined the Princess, who is sitting right in front of us, in holy matrimony. Do you understand that we could not simply call on a verdict that could jeopardize the very global alliance we are establishing right now? Are you willing to thrust a whole empire and two feuding nations into another World War?”

Reiner took in a deep breath, before letting out a long exhale. “I understand. It is not my intention to worsen the already strained current state of affairs. I would only like to plea that whatever the verdict is for Eren Jeager, as it was very apparent imprisoning him would no longer be a viable option considering that he succeeded in escaping his solitary confinement before - I would like to humbly negotiate for his sentence to be merciful enough to give him a bit more time with his family.”

The council member shook his head softly. “The late Queen Historia of Paradis strictly insisted in her last will that the father of her heir shall not be in any form of contact with the infant.”

“If I - if you or anyone find themselves in his position where you know you’ll be facing imminent death, wouldn’t you want the remaining time you still have left to be spent with your own loved ones?”

Mikasa exchanged a mutual look of confusion with Armin from across the short distance between them.

“It appears that you have a change of heart, Warchief. Care to share with us your honest thoughts?”

Reiner took in another long, deep breath. “I am very sure you are aware that Mikasa Ackerman has been raised by the Jeager family as one of their own some time in the past.”

All of the advisors nod together in acknowledgment.

Mikasa remained calm yet unsure how to respond to the words coming out of the lips belonging to the young man she involuntarily swore her life and death to, only several days ago.

He continued on, “The day I took my bride’s hand in marriage was also the day Eren Jeager became family to me. I can’t ask the Council to pardon Eren’s crime, but it would give the princess of Hizuru a peace of mind if she is given ample time to say her farewell to someone she had cared for as a sibling.”

The raven-haired royal heir sat still in a daze, as she took in all the words that came out of the young Marleyan Warchief’s lips. His words couldn't be stretched even further from the truth.

Reiner’s explanation was accepted with a contemplative nod in return. “We will take your plea into consideration, Warchief. Until then, the Council has gathered sufficient evidence to rule out the key verdicts from all of our witnesses’ statements. The Council is adjourned and will resume tomorrow morning. We shall have our final verdicts and binding agreement of the alliance by then.”

The occupants of the hall stood to accompany the council members' exit in respect. The only ones left behind were the higher-ups from Marley, the ambassador from Hizuru and the senior members of the Paradis military body.

Armin made a move to approach the front of the hall, where the witness seat was located. Presumably to offer a much-needed comfort to his childhood friend after a strenuous session of questioning. However, Mikasa was faster as her hurried steps shifted her closer to where the Marley entourage was sitting.

"How could you? You didn't even try to negotiate for a chance for Eren to defend himself. How dare you even call yourself family when you're practically shoving Eren to death?!" Her words were a struggle between a choked sigh and anger, catching everyone left off guard.

"Mikasa…." Armin began but Hange rested a hand on his shoulder, halting his words.

Yet Reiner remained calm as he looked at his seething young bride - so emotionally driven that she had somehow forgotten that she was publicly humiliating not only the Warchief of Marley but also her husband in front of their comrades and close friends. "Were you able to do the same thing earlier?"

"You're infuriating! Don't even start another fight you can't finish."

“Listen to your logic, do you even think they will spare Eren’s life after everything?” There was a hopeless look in his amber eyes as he stared back at her disappointed face. There was a nagging phantom pain inside his chest yet he pushed it aside. “It’s just a matter of how soon, Mikasa.”

Mikasa wanted to rebut his words but even she was at a loss - she would never admit it out loud but Reiner was right and the obvious truth pained her.

Reiner swallowed the lump in his throat bitterly. “I understand that nothing will erase the anger that you have towards me and my people, but I am trying all that I can in my power to make it less hard for everyone, especially you. Will it make you happier if I’m also executed with Eren? Because that was what I was aiming for.”

"Lady Mikasa, Lord Reiner...I believe everyone has heard more than they should." Kiyomi Azumabito intervened. "Maybe this conversation is best suited to be carried out further in private?"

There was a fit of obvious anger on Mikasa's face and she was very quick to oppose. "No. There is no need. I have nothing left to be kept hidden. Everybody here already knows my private affairs anyway since my right to live has been dictated by everyone but me."

Hange sent a sympathetic look at Mikasa's direction. It was very obvious to her that Mikasa was under duress and the stress that she had been repressing ever since she left for Hizuru had been taking its toll on her better judgment.

Kiyomi sighed. "Lady Mikasa, you are showing your disrespect towards your lord husband right now and it is not in everyone's best interest to carry on this conversation with your current state of mind." She really didn't want to have to reprimand the young princess like she was a small child, but she must not allow the young woman from displeasing their new lord. He only had her and their people’s best interest in mind and in heart.

“Are you siding with him right now, Miss Kiyomi?”

Kiyomi’s response was firm. “I am serving the lord of our country and our family.”

"Mikasa's right, Lady Kiyomi," agreed Reiner, his eyes moved from the Azumabito family matriarch to the younger woman. "My bride has been through a lot for the past two weeks. A lot has happened, new changes - one thing after another. She hasn't been able to rest properly. I am the one at fault as I have been neglecting her well-being. If anything, I should be more understanding of her current situation." Even he wholeheartedly believe the lies that were coming out of his mouth, all the excuses he’s making to justify Mikasa’s stubbornness. He had already been yearning for the Mikasa he knew back at the farmhouse but he had the notion that something traumatized her after the barn exploded. Yet, he still couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason why.

Both Connie and Armin looked at their old friend in something akin to admiration towards the tall blonde-haired shifter's maturity as Reiner politely steered the direction of the strained conversation in the most respectful and political way he could while Jean couldn't conceal the skeptical look on his face.

'The what?' One of Mikasa's eyebrows lifted in a mixture of both confusion and annoyance. 'Oh, suddenly he's the dutiful husband now?'

Kiyomi nodded, indeed the newlyweds weren't able to spend even a private time together since the morning after the wedding. “I strongly recommend you two to retire to the private chamber our host has graciously prepared for you both.”

Mikasa shook her head before turning her body towards the main door of the hall. “That’s not going to happen.”

“Lady Mikasa,” Kiyomi sternly called out to her. “That is not how you take your leave in front of your lord husband.”

'Shit.' She had forgotten that Madam Kiyomi is with them at that moment. Mikasa’s body stood straight and rigid before turning back, while Reiner was quick to dismiss Kiyomi’s words. “There’s no need, Lady Kiyomi. We’re amongst close friends.”

“With all due respect, My Lord, the Princess has learned our tradition and she should have been practicing it flawlessly without the need for constant reminders. Or else, what will she impart to your future heir, Lord Reiner? Am I wrong, Your Highness?” The older Azumabito woman turned a sharp gaze at her kin’s direction.

A disrespect to your Lord husband would implicate poorly on his honor and authority. You shall not disrespect your lord husband in any way, even more so in the public eye.

Shiori-han made sure those words were drilled into her brain over and over again before she left Hizuru.

She mustered up her usual mask of indifference even though she was already seething silently from the inside. Armin, Connie, Jean, and the Commander did not need to witness this, as she begrudgingly made her way back to the tall Titan shifter.

“My Lord,” greeted Mikasa, sarcastically, followed by a bow. “May I excuse myself now?”

His lips tightened into a thin line. “You may. Excuse us, everyone. My bride and I could use some alone time,” said Reiner which earned him a hearty, understanding chuckle from the older folks, as opposed to the nervous looks from his former comrades. It didn't escape Reiner's perceptive observation that his old friends, especially Jean weren't too keen on seeing how he took the liberty to proclaim Mikasa's status to everyone and how he was whisking her away from the hall.

'He did not just say that!'Mikasa bit her lip in frustration yet she couldn’t force herself to fight back the hand that nudged her none too gently towards the door.

As soon as they both disappeared behind the closed door, Kiyomi exchanged a knowing smile with the only other woman in the hall. "Newlyweds." Hange nodded and rested her hands on Jean and Armin's shoulders, assuring them. "She'll be fine, boys."

Jean looked back to his commander. "Commander, you do remember that this is the very same person who you almost killed five years ago?"

Hange let out a loud, good-natured laugh. "Hah, good old times, Jean. Commander Magath, would you and your team like to join us for drinks at my office? And we are definitely not going to break out the wines from Marley this time around."

Armin placed a palm on his face. Too soon, Commander.

But much to their surprise, Hange's humor was greeted with a burst of loud laughter from the Marley commander and even a smile from the Jaw Titan holder.

They were certainly making major progress indeed after all hell and deaths that had happened between their two nations.

Their steps were inadvertently in sync with each other as they walked down the hallways of the main administration office as soon as they exited the conference hall. The soles of their boots tapped unhurriedly against the polished marble floor.

"What are you doing? Do you realize that you're giving everyone the wrong message?" Mikasa hissed under her breath, as she stopped short right before they reached the main entrance to the building for an exit. She was obviously referring to his earlier insinuation.

Reiner pulled her aside into a secluded hallway and spoke in a hushed tone. If she's giving him the cold stranger treatment then he'll give her what she wants. “After the blundering stunt you just pulled inside the hall, a simple thank you would suffice for the effort that I took to prevent you from making a bigger fool of yourself, Ackerman.”

“Thank you?? You’re the one who’s giving everyone a questionable explanation.”

“Really? Now that the secret’s out, everyone knows that we just got married four days ago AND, we just ended a war. I’m a man and you’re my wife. Everyone’s an adult. All of them can put two and two together.”

Mikasa covered her face with a hand and sighed. “Oh, God…..” A tinge of blush began to creep up her porcelain cheeks.

Reiner shrugged with a questionable smirk on his face. “Unless we can just stop beating around the bush and just tell people that ‘Excuse us but we must make haste in producing an heir for the Hizuru empire and in order for us to do that, we must have sex. A lot of sex immediately-”

“Oh my God...shhhhh!” Mikasa lunged towards the older Titan shifter and pressed him hard against the wall behind him. Her right index finger shot up to seal his mouth shut.

It was very unfortunate that at the same time, two military personnel walked by to exit the building and five more walked in, causing Reiner and Mikasa to fluster in embarrassment, much to the soldiers’ amusement of having incidentally passed by a rather private exchange between the newlyweds.

“Warchief, Princess,” greeted one of the Marley soldiers who were made aware of the current state of their relationship, followed by a respectful salute by the Survey Corps members.

Reiner nodded - with Mikasa’s finger still tightly latched against his lips - to acknowledge the greeting salutes given to him by the soldiers. From the friendly nature of their conversation, it was apparent that the Survey Corps members were playing the kind host by giving their guests from across the seas a tour of their vicinity.

Never would they ever imagined that they would be alive to witness such a small but significant sight in history.

The troupe then walked away, but not without a meaningful smile on their faces.

Reiner looked down at the way her other hand pressed flat against his own chest, her warmth could be felt even through the thick fabric of his military attire. He took in a deep breath, relishing in her touches. It was inappropriate of him to even entertain such thoughts at that moment yet he liked the softness of her lone digit against his thin lips. A simple touch of her skin against his was enough to initiate all kinds of desire a man could ever know and especially when his own had been lying dormant and forgotten for a very long time due to his overbearing guilt.

It was critical. Any seconds longer, he’d be eating out of the palm of her hand. Both figuratively and literally.

He is still a man after all.

He teased her mercilessly to break the tension between them. “And you claimed that I’m the one who’s giving everyone the wrong idea?”

As if she was scalded with hot water, there was a look of sheer horror on Mikasa’s face before she took her hands away and shifted back in more steps than it was necessary to place a comfortable distance between them.

Reiner crossed his arms and pretended to be unaffected by her sudden response. “Don’t flatter yourself, Ackerman. I’ll never desire you in that way. I’m a good actor, remember?” His amber eyes gazed sharply into her face, the muscles of his lower jaw tightened. His own conscience was snickering at the hypocritical proclamation.

“Jerk-” Mikasa squinted her eyes and grumbled under her breath. Annoyed she was with the Titan shifter, yet it felt so eerily familiar. Like a fleeting moment that was disregarded as quick as it appeared in the past.

“What was that?”

“.........”

“You do realize that the council straight up questioned your loyalty right in front of everyone and that is not helpful to our current situation."

Mikasa steered her gaze away, afraid that if she looked directly into his eyes, her resolve would crumble straight into an irreversible weakness.

Nevertheless, he continued, "Until we step foot in Marley, we need to put up a united front and for the sake of our people, I need us to convince everyone that our union is the right choice. So please. If it means that we have to declare out loud again and again to the whole world that we are accepting each other, that we can move forward and find ‘happiness’ together, even after all this war between us, then so be it.”

She looked up at him, yet her lips remained shut.

Upon realizing that he would not be getting any verbal response from her, Reiner let out a long breath. "I'm not asking you to pretend that you're suddenly crazy about me, let alone putting up a loving act as my wife. I can’t ask you for that favor. I know where I stand in your life but if it's not too much, could I ask if we could have a more civil interaction with each other from here onwards at least in front of everyone? It'll be more than enough. Can we do that together?"

Dejected, Mikasa responded with a weak nod of her head. She knew of the sacrifices she has made and will be making the moment she agreed to the arranged union. No one told her that she would like any part of it.

His voice was a tormented crack as the incident that took place on their wedding night suddenly came back to him in a painful reminiscence. He truly meant every single word he said that night despite his frantic state of mind. “You of all people should realize by now that if I could switch places with Eren right now, I would do it in a heartbeat. Because that would make you happy, right?” 

No.

Yet that word remained jammed inside her throat.

“Why would it matter to you whether I’m happy or not?”

“My people demands it.”

Duty. They were nothing more than a duty to each other.

When she mustered up the courage to look back at his face, there was only a faraway, hurting gaze in his eyes - like again, he was lost in the looming cloud of self-depreciation that had never left. Just like he did the first night he became her consort.

'What is going on inside your mind, Reiner?'

They have finally received the answers to their burning questions when it comes to his initial betrayal. Still, she felt like more new questions arose - more than she was mentally prepared to face - left to be addressed.

They continued their walk towards the entrance of the administration building and parted ways wordlessly - him towards the guest room and her towards the barracks, back to where her previous dwelling was. It didn’t matter if she had no more personal keepsakes there, she was home.

She just wanted to be alone.

On a second thought…….

She switched her directions and headed towards the memorial site instead, oblivious to a pair of light brown eyes who was watching her from the building’s main arch.

A clattering sound jolted her body up in an unexpected awakening. She tried to look for the source of the intrusion and failed the moment the bright lights hit her tunnel vision. She took in several deep breaths, willing her body to relax and slowly adjusting to her environment.

Pieck opened her eyes again, only to be welcomed by a white surface - the ceiling, it seemed to be. She gathered all her strength before turning her body to the side and pushed herself up against the lumpy bed by using her hands. Her form was a bit jittery yet it wasn’t something she was not accustomed to after a long battle. She gritted her teeth the moment the tips of her toes touched the cool floors - she could never get used to the pin-prickling sensation that follows the moment her legs began to work again. Her skin felt like she was stabbed by a hundred needles, signifying that her blood flow had begun to circulate throughout her whole system again and she tried to soothe her limbs by wiggling her toes while taking in her surroundings. The white-washed walls, linen curtains of the same color to white storage cabinets and the unmistakable smell of bleach and sterilized equipment helped her conclude that she was in a hospital or a medical center.

The last thing she remembered was shooting the back of the Beast Titan’s nape and finding some satisfaction the moment she saw Zeke’s real body dropped down from his Titan form.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she spotted a pair of wooden crutches resting against the metal frame at the foot of the bed. It brought a tiny smile on her face. It must have definitely been Porco who left them there for her.

Another sound of clattering, followed by a clank of an object hitting the floor once again stole her attention. Her head instantaneously looked upwards between the railings of the pristine white curtains separating the occupants inside the room. It must have been the patient next to her.

She shifted her body and reached out to the crutches, taking them in each hand. Slowly and surely she used the lower end of the walking aid as a leverage to push her petite form up and rested her upper arms on the wooden handles. She took small steps forward and pushed the curtain of her own cubicle aside. After a while, she successfully reached her intended destination - her neighbor inside that room. The cubicle’s curtain was only shut halfway, therefore she could perceive a body bending downwards and a bandaged hand desperately reaching out towards the scattered items on the floor - a wooden cup, a feather quill and a journal made of sandalwood paper.

She never hesitated to offer a helping hand. “Please, let me help you, Sir.” She released one of the crutches and picked up the items as quickly as possible and replaced them back at their original positions. 

“Thank you……” The patient said, weakly in return.

Pieck shook her head as she picked up the drinking cup. “It’s no trouble at all.” She almost gasped when she saw the face of the man lying on the bed in front of her. Even with the bandage around his hand, torso and half of his face, she could still recognize the raven-haired man with the deadly face and incomparable titan-killing skills.

“Captain Ackerman.”

His only visible eye too widened upon hearing his name being called out by someone in a very unfamiliar way.

The Cart Titan girl.

“You are…..”

“I'm Pieck.” She offered the information. Fully aware of the fact that they both never had a proper formal introduction with each other before this. “How are you feeling, Captain?”

Levi inhaled a long breath and responded. “Like shit.”

Pieck snorted before breaking into a peal of small laughter. She quickly covered her mouth and uttered a simple sorry for the unintentional disrespect. However, instead of receiving another sarcastic quip or a deathly stare from the infamous military veteran, she looked back at him and only saw the end of his lips curving slightly into a subtle smile.

Levi tried to reach out for the wooden pitcher but Pieck was quicker to offer her assistance.

That cup had been on the floor, unwashed or sanitized and who knows how many germs are there on its surface but then, he has learned that receiving help is not a sign of weakness or detrimental to his health nor character. Not washing the cup will not kill him this time.

However, much to his surprise, he saw the way she took the cup to the nearest faucet and basin, rinsed it and not before using a clean napkin to wipe it dry. He watched with silent interest as the younger girl poured some water into the now clean drinking cup and offered it to him.

Never was he ever more grateful for a simple cup of water from a stranger.

Not out of the awkwardness of the silence between them, Pieck wanted to excuse herself for Captain Ackerman’s own comfort. They are still enemies until the alliance has been fortified on official paper and print. Pieck knew how much the last male of the Ackerman clan felt about Zeke and Marley in general. But then again, Pieck shared the same deceitful feeling nevertheless.

Levi cleared his throat. “If it’s alright, stay. I’ve been cooped up in this room for God knows how long, I would kill for a conversation.”

The young Marleyan girl nodded, his pun never escaped her observation and settled on a chair next to her, her crutches leaning against the wall behind her. The late afternoon breeze billowed gently through the cracks of the open windowpane. The gentle light from the sun gave her a better view of the infamous military veteran from Paradis.

She had heard from Reiner that Captain Levi Ackerman was a man in his late thirties or early forties but she was very sure, up close and personal - he does not look a day over 30 at all. The last time they were in the same space together, it was right before Zeke pulled the trigger to the explosives and blew up the whole farmhouse. Pieck was quick to shift but she wasn’t fast enough to shield the Captain of the Survey Corps with her Titan form. She wasn’t sure to what extent was his losses, but she felt compelled to apologize.

She should’ve been faster.

She sent him a solemn look from across the short distance between. “Captain Ackerman, I just want to apologize-.”

“Stop.”

“........”

He took in her slightly slumping form with one half of his available vision. “I’m still alive because of you, girl.”

He didn’t need her sorry and she didn’t need his thank you.

Despite the huge differences in their years of military experience, they both understood well how meaningless apologies and gratitude would be in a war. Both sides have suffered unimaginable losses.

“Tell me what happened to the Jeagers after the explosion, if you don’t mind.”

He is a titan killer and yet here he was, sitting and having a casual conversation with an enemy titan shifter. Especially if the said shifter was also the one responsible in robbing him of the opportunity to deliver Zeke’s death blow in Shinganshina five years ago.

Yet, she never hesitated to protect him and Hange inside that barn even when she could’ve chosen not to intervene.

His life would have ended not once but two times on the same day if it wasn't for the help from this girl and her comrades.

As soon as the evening rolled in, the elders and representatives of Hizuru, Marley as well as Paradis were gathered inside Hange’s office room, winding down and exchanging pleasantries amidst the negotiation of peace among the three main powers in presence. It was safe to say that no wine or any forms of alcohol was served between them but only tea, along with coffee  - a gift from the Marley delegates to the commanders of Paradis, a delicacy that the dwellers within the walls have never had the privilege to experience yet.

“So Commander Magath,” Hange could be heard conversing with the top brass from Marley and Hizuru. “Are you saying that our countries belong on the same continent? Are there other continents then? Have you been there?” The brown-haired leader of the Survey Corps couldn’t contain her excitement as Nile, Pixis and a recovering Shadis were listening intently to the conversation with Commander Magath from Marley, who was more than happy to share the knowledge of the world with their host.

Reiner, who was standing next to his superior could only pretend that he was as invested in the discussion but his mind was obviously not present with the rest. He excused himself to the nearest open window and fished out a pack of cigarettes from the side pocket of his overcoat.

“I swore if you pull a smoke in front of my face seven years ago, I would’ve given you an ass whooping on the dot.” A low, gruff voice from behind him caused Reiner to pause his action as he turned his head around to see none other than his former instructor. There was a small smile on his face when he saluted to Keith Shadis. “That you would have, Sir.” He offered the pack to the older man, who hesitated at first but gave in and took a stick in the end. 

“Yet, here we are.” Shadis lit his cigarette with the light from Reiner’s match and took a puff. He was the only one who noticed the absence of consciousness on his former trainee’s face. There was a comfortable silence before he exhaled a long drawl of smoke and said, “I always knew there was something different about you the first day I met you three kids. You, Hoover and Leonhardt were exceptionally strong for normal recruits.”

“We never meant to hurt or deceive anyone. We were only following orders, Commander.”

“You are just kids. Young soldiers who were trained to carry your mission till the end. That doesn’t make us any better than your government. Paradis is no different than Marley.”

“If only there was any other way…..”

“Look at your commanders. Would you ever imagined that one day, we will be here, standing in the same room, talking without hurting each other?”

Reiner looked back at his former and current superiors who were engrossed in a very pleasant conversation about the rest of the world, exchanging knowledge about science and innovations.

Shadis continued, “There’s so much we don’t know but we are now learning because of you.”

“I’ve killed innocent people….” Like Marco.

“We all have blood on our hands, Braun because it was needed from us even when it was for the wrong reasons. We think that we do not deserve to keep on living but until we have served our purpose in life - the God of Death will not be gracing us with his presence as yet. You, me, Jeager and everyone else.” Shadis directed his gaze to the door of the holding room the moment the group consisted of what was left of his 104th batch recruits came in - Arlert, Kirschtein, Springer, and Ackerman. “And I believe your purpose just walked through that door.”

Reiner followed his line of vision and looked confused.

Shadis gave him a fatherly smile in return. “Who would have thought that one day, I would find out that my top two trainees are now married to each other?”

He shook his head. “It wasn’t what we both wanted.” The uncertainty was very apparent in his tone.

“But maybe that is what everyone needed. Mayhap the role you were destined to carry the moment you were born into this world is far from done yet.” Shadis drawled his last puff of smoke and snuffed the cigarette butt on the ashtray sitting on the window sill. He patted the younger man’s shoulder in a reassuring manner, right before he withdrew himself to rejoin the rest of the elders. He remained in his solitude, afraid that he would feel even more out of place than ever.

Yet his solitude didn't last long as another voice piped in.

"May I join you?" asked the newcomer.

He shrugged, nevertheless lifted his hand to welcome the next person who would still want to converse with him after all he has done.

He turned his head to his right and realized it was Jean, the recruit who had grown so much from the young boy he used to know. The young boy who has never made his feelings for his wife a secret and he forced himself to put up a facade just like he used to do when they were still recruits.

"I'm not going to take much of your time but…" Jean paused to gather his next words. "Please take good care of her," he pleaded to his former comrade.

He had no time or the energy to start a debate yet he couldn't help it. "It depends. Will you let her go?"

Jean appeared to be taken aback by his words. "She will always be my friend and I will never stop caring about her but we were never together. You shouldn't be worrying about something that was never there."

There was a pause as he took another puff of the stick in his hand. "I've seen the way you look at her, Jean. How you're looking at her now is the same as how it used to be back then. Besides, I know very well that I don't deserve her."

"No one does. Not even Eren."

There was a short silence before they both erupted into a burst of small laughter upon realizing the irony of the situation.

After taking a deep breath Jean regained his seriousness from before. "But I would die for that woman, Reiner. I would kill for her happiness."

"I know." Reiner nodded, snuffing his cigarette on the same ashtray next to him.

At first, Jean had issues upon realizing who Mikasa's arranged husband was but after a while, he came to understand that Reiner was and had always been a person with a good heart. Even good people will do bad things when they were desperate. As much as he wouldn't want to admit it out loud, even though he personally believed that Reiner (or even anyone) doesn't deserve Mikasa but maybe there is a reason why their destinies would be intertwined again in this way.

"Mr. Braun!!" A small voice could be heard coming from the main door, catching their attention away from their conversation.

A young boy with dirty blonde hair came running through the door and headed straight for the Marleyan Warchief. Jean remembered that it was the young boy that they had tried to save at Niccolo's eatery from way before. There was no doubt that the kid was very close to Reiner, could be family even - evident from the way he hugged the shifter.

Reiner heaved a sigh of relief the moment he ruffled the top of young Falco's head. "I'm so glad that you're alright."

Jean perceived the two new guests who had just walked in through the door - the Jaw Titan holder followed by another young man of Oriental descent. The latter bowed down as they stopped in front of him and Reiner.

"Lord Reiner, please accept my apologies. The children persisted that I bring them along with me. I- I couldn't really say no." Lord Takeshi uttered sheepishly and received a deep laugh from both the Marley shifters in return.

At that moment, Reiner learned that just like him, Lord Takeshi's weakness happened to be in the form of children. "I hope both kids haven't been giving you any troubles, Lord Takeshi." It wasn't a surprise to him that Falco and Gabi could even get a noble and high-ranking military leader bent to their will with their hard-headed persistence.

"No, My Lord. They were a bit shaken when they got on board the ship. Otherwise, they have been very well-behaved. Although we had to store all the firearms under lock and key so that your little cousin couldn't get a hold of one."

Porco shrugged. "That's Gabi for you."

Reiner looked down at the boy in his hold. "Falco, where's Gabi?"

The young boy pointed his index finger towards the direction across the room where they could see Gabi who was already enveloping the royal heir in a tight embrace.

Porco snickered. "Seems like your cousin has ditched you for your wife."

Falco looked surprised the moment he heard Galliard's exclamation.

"Wife? When did you get married, Mr. Braun?" asked Falco with obvious confusion on his innocent face.

"It's a long story, Falco. I will tell you and Gabi about it." Reiner answered yet he didn't stop Falco when the little boy took his hand and lead him to where his little cousin was standing.

He could hear the bits and pieces of conversation between his cousin and his bride, the closer he got to where they were.

"I'm really grateful that you and your friend are safe," said Mikasa with Gabi still being held tight in her arms.

The little dark-haired girl nodded and smiled. "Thank you, Ms. Ackerman. I should return this to you." She began to undo the crimson-colored wrap around her neck, to which she was stopped by the older woman.

"I'd like you to have it." Mikasa adjusted the wrap again so it fits snugly around the girl’s neck, just like the way Eren did it to her that night when they met for the first time. She received another big smile in return.

"I would take good care of it. Thank you, Ms. Ackerman."

Reiner cleared his throat and gushed, "I see you two have met."

Gabi lunged at Reiner and gave him a hug. "Reiner!!! I'm so glad you're safe.”

Reiner nodded, sending a soft look towards his young cousin as he assured both Gabi as well as Falco that their families back in Marley was safe, alive and unharmed from the recent attack. Even when listening to Gabi and Falco’s story about their time in the Island, he never took his eyes off of Mikasa.

He saw the way she excused herself to be on her own, stepping out to the open doors heading towards the balcony of the holding room for much-needed air and space. He knew what was running through her mind and he understood well how it must have felt for her - to be surrounded by people who wouldn’t be mulling over Eren’s time and day of execution, or how many more hours he might have left when that would be the only thing that robs her of her sleep and peace.

He knew he should have been the one who gave her a warm drink to soothe her nerves, not Connie.

He knew he should have been the one who draped a coat to keep her warm, not Armin.

He knew he should have been the one to say something reassuring that could make the corners of her lips lifted up in a shy smile, not Jean.

And yet he knew he didn’t earn the right to be standing next to her, caring for her the way her close friends do.

He was nothing to her.

Gabi blurted out, “Hey Reiner, why are you looking so weirdly at Ms. Ackerman?”

Her question made his eyes widened like he was a deer caught in headlights and he stammered for a reply, “Well, Gabi ... a lot has happened when you and Falco were here.”

However, the good-natured Falco pulled Gabi closer and whispered - or tried to - with nothing but innocence, offering a much-needed answer, “She’s Mr. Braun’s wife and sometimes husbands give their wives weird looks, Gabi.”

“Yeah like he wants to ‘eat’ her up,” snickered Galliard unabashedly before lifting his hands up in mock surrender, hinting that Reiner should’ve explained the whole situation more thoroughly to the kids before looking like a wounded domesticated animal yearning for its owner’s tender loving care. Reiner could silently hope that the earlier innuendo implied by the other shifter would go unnoticed by the children.

“Wait, you’re married to Ms. Ackerman? Seriously?!” Gabi's jaw dropped open.

Galliard, with another improper quip, decided to toss him into the fire by saying, “Wait till she finds out about the baby.”

Gabi screamed in response, much to his horror. “SHUT UP. MS. ACKERMAN IS HAVING YOUR BABY ALREADY???!!”

Everybody froze and the whole room went silent. He swore he could hear a pin drop somewhere in the middle of the room the moment all eyes began to fixate on him. Including Mikasa’s.

‘Fuck you to the seven hells, Galliard.’

The moment he saw his fuming young wife striding across the room towards his direction, he knew he was a dead man.

However, before Mikasa could even say anything to clarify the misunderstanding, Gabi was already crying as she wrapped her arms around Mikasa’s body. “I’m so glad to know that you won’t be alone anymore, Reiner. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy.” Ms. Ackerman was the kindest, most forgiving person she has ever met. No one would have been a better match for Reiner!

He sent her a helpless look, silently pleading her to rectify or deny another time.

Mikasa wasn’t having another lie. It had only been a few days after the wedding. It was impossible in every single way even if they did consummate their marriage (which they didn’t) the very first night itself. “Gabi, it’s-”

“I can’t wait to see you, little one.” The young girl was already comforting and pledging towards her belly. “I promise I will protect you.”

The raven-haired princess of the East Sea empire could only rub his cousin’s back gently without a word. While the tender feeling Mikasa was experiencing in her chest only reminded her how much she always wanted to hold her family - a cousin, a sister or a daughter - in whatever form she could have it in, to share her happiness with, her sadness, her everything.

She could be angry at the inadvertent lie.

Her eyes darted back to Reiner who was standing with a burning face in front of her.

She chose to be grateful instead.

They will have a lot of time to explain the truth later. Hope was scarce and if a farfetched lie could help these kids forget the horrors inflicted by the war albeit temporarily, then she could let the little white lie slide for a while.

Meanwhile, Connie was whispering to Armin and Jean, "Wow, Reiner works fast!"

Armin let out a nervous laugh. "I don't think the kids realised that they've only been here 2 weeks and not 2 months. Unless......"

They both looked at Jean together.

Jean squinted his eyes in irritation. "What the fuck, guys?? That's not cool. We've never even- wait why should I even explain myself?"

Connie had a curious look upon his face. "But then again, Titan shifters can heal faster than regular people, maybe it's not impossible that she's already with Reiner's kid. Mikasa is also an Ackerman. Their unborn spawn could be a superhuman."

Armin covered his face with his hands. "Can we please stop discussing about this? It's making me uncomfortable..."

Jean smacked the back of Connie's head gently. "Thanks for the mental image and Armin, you know that Mikasa would make an amazing mother one day. Just give them a chance."

A/N: I hope this chapter fills the long void I’ve unintentionally left through the previous chapter. I apologize for some parts that might be a bit OOC for some of the characters but I hope it still fits into the universe that I have created. Do share your thoughts and comments below or feel free to say hi on my Tumblr page :) Thank you for reading!

Till next chapter <3

Chapter Text

A/N: A special shout out to runicrunes, zethamsel05, regin4, d0vahkiin, raeraet, RubyL, SpaceUnicorn & viseniaa for your beautiful and uplifting comments! All of you beautiful people made writing As You Are even more meaningful to me. Thank you! <3

Before I move forward with this chapter, I would like to thank everyone for their patience in waiting for the delayed updates to As You Are. Being a full-time working mother to a special needs child on top of studying for my degree, makes writing as something akin to luxury; a means of escape from my real-world commitments temporarily and it’s usually rare in frequency, thus why the delays happened. Even so, thank you so much for your amazing understanding!

Apart from that, I could never appreciate everyone enough for your ongoing support for this story and based on the comments I’ve received both here and on FF.net, the direction of As You Are would be breaking some of my reader’s hopes for the future of this story. Also, to address some inquiries on my Tumblr page, this story focuses on both Reiner and Mikasa as the central characters based on their respective p.o.v (apart from third person’s) and will be diverging from canon storyline from chapter 114 onwards, though it might be borrowing bits and pieces of the canon scenes that could be fitted into As You Are’s universe.

I understand that everyone has their own specific favorites and attachments to certain characters/ship, but I strongly recommend the readers to embrace As You Are with an open heart as well as mind. With chapter 122’s publication, we’ve finally reached the final arc of the manga series and I will try my very best to adopt some of the pivotal developments into this story where possible.

This chapter’s mood is heavily inspired by Billie Eilish’s before i go . It’s a bit shorter than usual but mainly because it’s been separated into two chapters and the following chapter will be uploaded immediately.

Happy reading! Do share your thoughts or favorite moments in the comments section below :)

As You Are

Chapter Eight

before i go

Main Conference Hall

Paradis General Administration Building

Trost, Wall Rose

The Paradis-Liberio Axis

between

Eldian Island of Paradis & Eldian Region of Liberio, Marley;

overseer(s);

Council of Advisors, World Allied Nations

Royal Empire of Hizuru

Herewith the Binding Agreement placed forward by the Council of Advisors as the foundation of the alliance between the Eldian Island of Paradis and Eldian Region of Liberio in Marley, with the mediation by the Royal Empire of Hizuru through the current reigning imperial clan, the Azumabito family. Upon approval and signature by the official representatives present, the alliance will be effective immediately without any prejudice or discrimination either through race, skin or blood.

“Pillar One: Paradis will be governed by Military Administration with the Supreme General elected by the Allied Council until the royal heir, the infant princess Ymir, daughter of the late Queen Historia Reiss of Paradis, reaches her sixteenth name-day. The royal heir will be raised under the protection and caretaking of the royal Azumabito family in Hizuru with Captain Levi Ackerman as her primary guardian, referring to the terms outlined in the late Queen’s final will.”

 

“The Council strongly urges the seat of the Supreme General to be filled in by the Commander of the Garrison Division, Dot Pixis, and is subjected to the unanimous agreement by all representatives present.”

Everyone inside the well-decorated conference hall remained focused the moment the lead advisor from the World Allied Nations’ Council began to read out the final judgment and proposed agreement outlined in the official parchment. All the military Commanders from both main powers involved nodded with indisputable acceptance and a promised loyalty to the new Supreme General of the Eldian island. The only concern that ran through Commander Pixis’ mind in a fleeting thought at that time was -- he could only hope he would live long enough to retain the throne until the infant princess’s sixteenth birthday.

The bald-headed veteran could really use some drinks to soothe his nerves after the council adjourns, but he suddenly remembered that he recently swore off any forms of alcohol ever since they discovered that all of the liquors from Marley they had been drinking for the past few years had been poisoned with Zeke Jeager’s spinal fluid. He’d almost end up as Titan fodder or worse, a Titan himself and would not still be alive and breathing because of his reckless habit.

It was time for him to kick his drinking to the curb and embrace sobriety in order to uphold his biggest responsibilities yet to the ruler of his homeland. To their monarch.

“Pillar Two: The Founding Titan will be transferred into Marley’s possession immediately through Eren Jeager’s execution. This is to be enacted through the Jaw Titan’s consumption as the execution method the day after this ruling is made.”

 

Mikasa’s hands, they shook so hard the moment the second pillar was read aloud by the lead advisor. They gripped her overcoat so tight that the protruding veins became even more painfully apparent as she struggled to release the breath she was holding. The raven-haired mixed royalty; of Hizuru's shogun lineage and the legendary Ackerman family blood, looked at the hands resting on her lap, praying hopelessly that they would not let her down.

They need more time. Please, just a little bit more. That was all she’s asking.

A large, roughened palm covered both her trembling hands in uncertainty. She didn’t need to question whose hand did it belong to. After their mutual agreement yesterday, they both were taking the seats representing the nation of Hizuru at the ruling. Her granite eyes darkened as they landed on their joined hands. She could easily dismiss and pushed his hand away but she was already on the verge of coming apart at the seams as the thundering of heart against her ribcage was getting too much for her to bear.

The fact that Eren, who was sitting next to the Council’s stand and bound in chains, was looking back at her direction made her feel even worse than before.

He would have known about the wedding already.

Mikasa somewhat felt a dreadful feeling that resembled guilt - like she was betraying Eren by sitting where she was. Next to the only person who he ever regarded as someone he had aspired to be at one point in his life. As a big brother, a rival, an enemy. Whom she unknowingly swore her loyalty to, against their wishes. 

The same hand gripped her own gently in his palm - aware of its mildly intrusive nature, at least to her - yet his warmth was a reassuring surprise as it pulled her back from her thoughts before they spiraled down further into a dark passage. Their fingers intertwined and at that moment, Mikasa believed he was only returning the favor done during their wedding ceremony.

Meanwhile, a voice at the back of Reiner’s head silently mused in a passing thought that despite the huge difference in their hand sizes, her dainty fingers fit easily between his own digits. He was expecting the impending force from her refusal towards his rather repulsive touch yet, she never pulled away.

He held on even tighter that the blood running through their veins might as well become one. He couldn’t take her worries away but the only thing he could do was just ensuring her that he would always be by her side through it all. 

“Pillar Three: The remaining Titan shifters are allowed to spend the remaining years of their lives in voluntary retirement from field assignments and will not take up arms against any other countries unless it is for the sole purpose of defense. They will be allowed to retain their current positions in an administrative capacity - the only reason deemed acceptable by the Council. Otherwise, the holders of the Titan powers would face immediate termination.” 

 

“Within the last month of their tenure, or earlier depending, they will be consumed by the last vessel, who will be chosen by the Council on a later date. The last vessel will consolidate all Titan powers and crystalize the powers as an effort to prevent any future Eldians, specifically the bloodline of the First Titan, from inheriting the destructive force’s supernatural abilities.”

 

“Pillar Three, sub-section one (1): In regards to the War Chief of Marley, Reiner Braun; given that his past grievances and the nature of his crimes against humanity in the year 845 and 850 had been conducted under the orders of the old Marley government and due to his current status as the new Lord of the Hizuru nation, he is prohibited from the soils of Paradis indefinitely. He may appoint a formal representative on his behalf upon need for official purposes in the future. This section, however, will not apply to his future descendants.”

They exchanged a look of silent understanding between them before Reiner turned his gaze away hurriedly, causing Mikasa to stare back uneasily at the lead advisor who continued reading the official document in his hand.

He was now facing banishment from the only place he’d ever felt at home most in his whole entire life.

While she, who tends to shy away from any physical contact with anyone who’s unfamiliar to her, for reasons unknown found a small sense of solace when he welcomed the reassuring squeeze of her hand against his, causing Reiner’s eyes to linger at the tenderness there.

He would no longer be accepted here on this island but at least he would bring a part of that home with him back to Marley to accompany him for the rest of his life.

“Pillar Four: The Female Titan, with the aid of the Jaw Titan, will be coerced out of her self-confinement. She will not be allowed to return to Marley and will remain in Paradis’ custody, specifically under the governance of the Survey Corps division, until her final month due to the nature of her crimes and destruction inflicted on the Island. Until then, she will be permitted contact only from her surviving family with formal documentation and prior approval from the Paradis Government. She will adhere to the terms outlined in this agreement (Refer to Pillar Three).”

 

Armin, who was sitting between Jean and their Commander, nodded while slowly wiping away the nervous beads of sweat that formed on his temples. His sky blue eyes caught Eren’s gaze from across the conference hall, the latter sitting calmly for someone who was just given a death sentence.

The Colossal Titan holder’s mind reverted back to the flaxen-haired female shifter. Annie was still in her self-constructed crystal confinement within the Survey Corps’ deep underground prison at their new headquarters inside the recently facelifted district of Trost. A thousand burning questions ran through his head - apart from Annie’s health and state of mind - including the most important one of all; would Annie even still be alive?

Meanwhile, on the other row, Galliard leaned in and talked into Commander Magath’s ears in a low whisper referring to the shifters’ judgment with ‘At least it’s only exile. Anything is better than immediate termination.’

The Council has been merciful enough to allow the remaining shifters, apart from Jeager, to live the remaining time they have left in peace. They had been weapons for their nation’s wars and it was time for the weapons to live again as humans.

“Pillar Five: The Council honors the Queen’s will and the binding agreement between Hizuru and Liberio, Marley. (Refer to the Marley and Hizuru Alliance Agreement for this section). This section highlights the agreement which underlines the union between both inter-nations through the betrothal of the Princess of Paradis to the future born prince by the Princess of Hizuru that will be solidified in the year 874.”

 

Mikasa averted her gaze downwards, she couldn’t bear to look at Eren’s face. The unfathomable fact that the fate of Eren’s daughter was already predetermined to be involved with her unborn son’s -- terrified her a lot.

The grip on her hand tightened, even too much for her own strength and it came to her perception that Reiner’s sudden stress was induced by Eren’s sharp scrutiny directed towards where they were sitting.

Eren briefly knew how Reiner once felt towards Historia. It was a very ironic design by the Universe as years later, they were at the point where Reiner was now married to the only other important woman in Eren’s life - one who had devoted her whole life and heart to him - and would be the one to father a prince with her; whom Eren’s daughter will be bound to in the future for humanity’s peace.

Eren wanted his daughter’s world to be free, liberated from the walls and the Titan’s curse but it would still somehow be entangled with Reiner’s future heir.

“Pillar Six: A Global Conference will be held every three moons or earlier, when necessary, to track the status of this alliance and progress reports on military, reconstruction, economic and social services standings between the three nations as peace-reserving methods.”

All the military Commanders from all the nations involved nodded their heads in acknowledgment and understanding of the future requirements of the alliance.

The day of ruling and binding of the alliance was adjourned.

However, only a handful of them was looking forward to the execution on the next day.

The dark skies were a canvas of bleakness - devoid of stars or even the moon that was hidden amongst the heavy clouds - silent and unforgiving whilst the cold draft of breeze was a pale deathly caress against her skin. The night felt empty, lonely even when she was surrounded by a sea of people around her. The feeling she was experiencing from within was as mundane as the rooftop of the main administration building of Paradis Island’s recovering military forces. It was the closest rooftop they were ever allowed access to - well, the closest rooftop that their particular prisoner was allowed access to.

The Council, after passing out the ruling of Eren’s judgment, out of their gracious goodwill permitted for his last wish to be granted - to be able to look at the night sky until the last sunrise he would ever get to witness, in the company of his close friends and remaining family. Nevertheless, it came at the cost of his privacy as they were indeed surrounded by the military members of the newly-established alliance.

The younger Mikasa would always let her gaze softens as her vision lingers long, far too long on the face belonging to none other than the son of Dr. Grisha Jeager, the Eldian refugee from Marley. However, the current woman that she has become could no longer gather the strength to even so much stand near the boy that she used to adore, care for and protect so furiously before. Even when tonight would be the final night she would still get to see him alive and breathing. Because as the sun rises in the morning, it would be time for her to say her farewell.

She fought against it. Even HE, someone whom she’d believed would have something to gain from Eren’s death, fought entirely against it. Blonde hair and dying amber eyes, the subject of her momentary thoughts was quickly disregarded before it had another opportunity to dwell too long and make a comfortable residence at the back of her jumbled mind.

The chilling air bit through her cold, clammy skin as her hands desperately gripped at her own arms to seek a nonexistent warmth. Ever since the final ruling, there has not been a single word that has been spoken from her lips, at least directly to Eren when God knows the countless thoughts that had been running through her mind.

All the words still remain unspoken.

The said young man, clad in dark plain prison attire, stood on the edge of the building’s highest floor, hands chained to each of his side with gun-toting soldiers holding the ends of the steel confinement in tight, vigilant grips. His long dark brown hair billowed calmly in the night air with several loose strands escaping its ties and prickled against his pale skin. The glowing ember from the gas lanterns perched on the ledges only illuminated the calm and pristine expression on his youthful, clean-shaven face despite the circumstances.

"I'm sorry…." Eren Jeager whispered underneath his warm breath, made visible due to the cold temperature of the chilling night. He inhaled once again and this time could fully take in the smell of burnt firewood, roast poultry cooking on a wooden stove and sour ale from the nearby tavern. Scents that regular humans would have taken for granted compared to someone who’d only have several hours left to live.

All the little things that he would no longer get to experience again. At least in this lifetime.

Who knows….

Another strong intake of breath and a gust of cold air chafed the hollow tract from his nose all the way down to his throat.

It would be winter soon, he realized.

He would no longer be alive by the time the first droplets of snow descends the world.

Yet, he wouldn’t care about the snow as much compared to not being able to see the friends he had grown to love for the last time or his daughter at the only chance he could ever get, which at this point would remain a hopeless, incomplete wish.

His level of disgrace was even lower than a common death row inmate’s.

The momentary silence was broken by his long-time childhood friend and fellow shifter, who made a move to stand vigilant next to him, filling in the space that the earlier guard had left to make way for the Commander’s right hand. “It's too late for that isn't it, Eren?"

There was an uncomfortable pause from the Survey Corps’ prized strategist. "Sorry's been thrown around a lot lately that it practically means nothing to us, Eren. Your actions spoke louder than your words ever could.” Eren's previous words were not lost on Armin’s memory the night before Mikasa left for Hizuru as they were bitterly returned to him.

The only remaining female of the 104th recruits remained silent and still the entire time. Standing slightly behind her were Jean and Connie, fully armed as a safety precaution. Behind them were thirty more soldiers from both Paradis and Marley forces in a coordinated formation even though they were in an informal setting. These soldiers were willing to place their lives on the line to provide vigilant security and to avoid any unwarranted attempts of escape by their prisoner.

“I am sorry that everyone was hurt but I am not sorry that it came to this. There was no other better way but where we are right now. But of course, sorry can’t save me now.”

Armin shook his head furiously, eyes blazing with a fit of well-restrained anger. “You keep saying ‘this’ and ‘this’. What are you really referring to, Eren? That everything is going according to what you’ve planned?”

The calmness on Eren’s face remained unperturbed. “Zeke believed that taking away our right to live and continuity would be the only way our people will be truly free. Armin, I’ve seen our home and the world still be destroyed through the Attack Titan’s eyes if I let Zeke achieve his end goal.”

“So, by pushing us away, hurting Mikasa, abandoning Historia, rallying up with Floch, triggering the Rumbling -- those were what you needed to do? You’d almost kill Mikasa and everyone. Do you realize what you’ve done?”

The son of the late Dr. Grisha Jeager shook his head slowly, his dark brown tresses flailing in the cold night air. “I was too late and Historia was supposed to be safe. Alive. Even with all the memories that I’ve seen, I still couldn’t prevent her death or Sasha’s. That would be my only regret. Not the Rumbling. It was the only way to free Ymir.”

The Colossal Titan holder shook his head, still finding it truly hard to believe that Eren’s actions were justifiable even after his cryptic explanation. “Your daughter?”

Eren remained mum, neither agreeing or disagreeing. Only another deep cold breath escaped his lips in a long exhale. “I have completed my reasons to fight. Believe me, peace and our freedom are finally here.”

“Please…..,” Mikasa’s voice was low and deep and partially broken, exactly the same way she pleaded for both of her dearest childhood friends to cease their fighting at Niccolo’s eatery several days earlier. “......Could we just stay like how we used to? We only have tonight.” They used to look at the night sky, gazing at the stars above in amazement, wondering with endless curiosity about the world outside the walls. Making promises to have more adventures, growing old side-by-side and watching their own children grow up together.

Although she was very well aware by now that it would never happen the way they hoped.

Both Eren and Armin’s heads turned back towards her direction with the latter nodding in a reciprocal understanding. However, Armin saw how Eren bit his lips, trying to keep their last ever conversation going.

“Mikasa, I…….Remember us for who we used to be. Me, Armin and him -- I can feel that there must be a reason why he defies all odds even though Death has always come knocking at his door.”

She knew who he was referring to and her inner gut still adamantly refused to believe the inevitable truth - that there was some interstellar reason that could only be orchestrated by a higher power. That everything that was taking place at this exact moment was what the deities have written for all of them. That Reiner had evaded the hands of Death so many times in Paradis and God knows how many more times in Liberio which would be impossible without some divine intervention...

Another low sigh escaped her pale, thin lips. Hasn’t she learned anything from her new faith at all? 

Izanami, please help her understand. Please give her a sign.

A strong gust of wind, heavy with despair, ran through her raven hair in a gentle caress, the ends of her dark blue overcoat billowed against her knees as the three childhood friends remained in silence, accompanied by their friends and secured military officials.

They would have to be content with the cards that they were dealt with for now.

Eren took in another deep breath and reluctantly asked, “Armin, I need to tell you something but I need a favor from you, for the last time. I need you to put everything that I’ll be saying on record. Besides the fact that I was not in a position to explain my reasoning, there is a reason why I couldn't speak about it during the ruling earlier because it might change everything. And I mean everything ...” His words trailed behind him, with nothing short of hesitation.

“What is it, Eren?” A new female voice interrupted their conversation and caused everyone to turn their heads. All of the accompanying soldiers simultaneously lifted their hands in a respectful salute to address the Commander of the Survey Corps division of the military body in Paradis the moment Hange walked forward, approaching both Eren and Armin. “I strongly suggest that you don’t keep anything else from our knowledge, Eren.”

At that moment, a sudden figure’s appearance made Mikasa aware of the new presence next to her. She was quite surprised to see the young girl there, following their Commander’s lead apparently. She remembered leaving Gabi and Falco both with Lord Takeshi or at times with her handmaiden Akane at the foreign guest lodgings, under their trusted charge while she as well as Reiner manage their respective responsibilities. However, Gabi remained silent and understanding of their current situation, settling next to Mikasa’s side with nothing less than absolute respect and expected silence.

Mikasa couldn’t hold back a tiny smile from forming on her face the moment Reiner’s younger cousin inched closer and closer until her shoulder touched the older woman’s hip very lightly, somewhat offering reassurance or a very much needed comfort at otherwise what would have been a very strained moment. She was worried that seeing Eren again might have traumatized the younger girl again, much to the contrary. As much as Gabi felt relieved that Eren Jeager was given the death sentence earlier that day, and that he was very deserving of it after what he did to her home and her people, she wouldn’t wish for any of that especially when by now she understood how important he was to Ms. Ackerman.

If their situations were reversed, well, as a matter of fact, it did - though not forgotten, Ms. Ackerman had long ago forgiven her cousin and his fellow Warriors for their attack on Paradis years before. If she was angry at the Attack Titan holder, it would’ve been the same for Ms. Ackerman towards Reiner and herself even. She was aware that Ms. Ackerman’s presence on Liberio for the first time was purely for retrieval and that Eren Jeager’s actions were his own decision as opposed to the approval of their Commander.

Gabi’s brown eyes looked up towards the older woman who was standing next to her and even though she had only known Ms. Ackerman for several days, it pained the young Marleyan girl to see the hurt reflected there. Even in the dimly lit space, Gabi - a young soldier who was trained to have nothing but hatred towards the devils living on this island -  has a strong sense that Ms. Ackerman was fighting very hard not to beat herself down once again. If she somehow had the power to reverse time or manipulate memories, Gabi was very affirmative that she would go back to the time in the restaurant and take the older woman away from all of the painful memories or even preventing the confrontation that caused the tremendous hurt. 

Gabi heard the scratch of a match being lit from behind and she was the least surprised to observe that her older cousin was already making himself comfortable against the brick wall next to the entrance door, distancing himself out of respect and somewhat out of caution as he was wary that the last time he was caught off guard, Liberio ended up in ruins. The young girl’s sharp vision did not miss the way her older cousin kept a fixated gaze at Eren Jeager as if anticipating another retaliation but remained even more vigil as he listened in to the conversation.

Or, was he looking at Ms. Ackerman? Gabi wondered curiously.

Hange’s visible dark brown eye widened, so did everyone else’s present. “Are you really, really sure? We can appeal to the Council if it’s true. We need to gather solid evidence to back that appeal up.”

Armin nodded, though not without an apparent doubt on his face. “We still have time to track down a proof that could amend the binding agreement, the parchment has not been officially signed and sealed by the representatives. There is room for negotiation if we can present a piece of compelling evidence.”

Eren shook his head, expressing his lack of confidence that the new information could ever possibly change any of the outcomes. “They’re expecting an execution when the morning comes. If it proves to be untrue, then I’ll just die.”

Eren….  Mikasa fought back the urge to call out for his name in sheer desperation, after hearing that there would be a possibility that the power of the Titans had been returned to the Founding’s will.

What if they get someone to immediately shift to prove the truth, then maybe they can possibly stop the execution….. She turned her head back towards the man standing against the brick wall behind them. Her hopeful gaze attracted Reiner’s attention as he stopped taking a drag from the burning cigarette stick the moment their eyes met from across the distance.

“Commander Hange!!!” The only entrance to the rooftop was thrown open unexpectedly, revealing a junior Survey Corps member, as he struggled to perform a salute while catching the breath that he lost. It was very obvious he was dispatched from the Survey Corps’ new barracks in Trost.

Hange nodded and dismissed the greeting upon perceiving the urgent nature of the young soldier’s arrival. “At ease, private. Someone, please give this soldier some water.”

“Thank you, Commander Hange but this message can’t wait. It’s the prisoner from Marley. The Fem-Female Titan, she -- the crystal prison shattered and we didn’t realize it when it happened but she was barely conscious when it did.”

“WHAT? When did it happen?” Their Commander’s jaw dropped in astonishment and both Reiner, as well as Armin, had the same shocked expression on their face. Eren remained calm though his widened eyes couldn’t hide his surprise towards the news.

“What’s her current status?”

The young dark-haired unnamed soldier looked regretful and somewhat worried. “She’s still unconscious and slightly malnourished but there are no major external injuries. We couldn’t report it earlier because of the conference and we were slightly short-handed with the relief process and unable to dispatch a messenger immediately.”

The dark-haired military veteran turned her attention back towards their prisoner. “Eren, did you have something to do with this? Could it have had some significance to the Rumbling that happened?” She didn’t need to hear his response to confirm that even he was unaware that it was possible for the Rumbling to have triggered Annie Leonhardt’s release from her self-made crystal imprisonment. Meanwhile, Reiner stepped forward, evidently worried with the new development they have received in regard to his old comrade.

The fourteenth Commander of Paradis’ prestigious military division sprung up into action as she called out towards her subordinates.  “Others stay put. Armin, Jean, we shall make haste for the headquarters immediately--”

Reiner was about to make his concerns known before Hange addressed him formally. “-- and you too, Braun, if you may. A familiar face could be helpful to ease her confusion. We’ll send word to Commander Magath of this update.”

The tall blonde-haired young War Chief from Marley nodded gratefully. “Thank you, Commander.”

“Reiner, what’s happening?,” asked Gabi, concerned with the new development regarding the fallen Marleyan shifter.

“I have to go, Gabi.” He shook his head, eyes silently pleading to his bride. “Mikasa, can Gabi stay with you?”

The raven-haired Hizuru princess nodded with nothing less than understanding. “I got her. Go.”

The ends of Reiner’s lips curved upwards in relief and grateful smile as their eyes met again in mutual accord before they parted ways with him following his former Survey Corps superior and comrades before they disappeared behind the door.

“Mikasa….I am happy to know that Reiner has been treating you well despi--” said Eren the moment he turned his head back again at her. It was fairly obvious that he was waiting for the right moment to address the news of her recent wedding.

Mikasa cut his words off immediately. This was not a conversation she was willing to have in front of Reiner’s young cousin. “Eren, don’t. We didn’t ask for this and talking about it is not going to change anything. At this point, we just have to make the best out of the arrangement. So, please, just don’t….” Eren took heed of her insistence, thus, no more words were spoken for the remainder of the night, at least until she decided it was time for her to take Gabi, who had fallen asleep against a wall, back to their room for a more comfortable rest. Mikasa knew that she would have gone through another sleepless night when the sun rises in the next few hours.

Chapter Text

A/N: As written before, chapter nine is originally the second part of the previous chapter that was broken into two. The writing muse for this chapter was inspired by SnK Season 3’s Symphonicsuite (Aot) Part2-6th: Thanksat by Hiroyuki Sawano and Jason Mraz’s I Won’t Give Up . As usual, happy reading & do share your favorite moments below.

As You Are

Chapter Nine

I Won’t Give Up

Beyond Wall Maria
Southern Coast of Paradis

The open fields overlooking the ocean had been unanimously chosen by the representatives of the alliance as the grounds for both the execution of the tri-titan holder and the forced release of the crystallized Female Titan shifter, Annie Leonhardt, although the latter had already been done without his intention the moment he initiated the Rumbling using the Founder Ymir’s will. The sunny weather, the windy calmness and the gleeful chirping of the sea birds contradicted the nature of the event that was about to take place.

Eren had also expressed his final request of having his last moments on top of the hill overlooking the vast sea and humbly plead to see his own child for the first and the last time - even from afar - to which the council half heartedly agreed to. Even then, the Council had been responding with nothing short of reluctance until came the persistent plea through a vouch of confidence from Marley’s War Chief. Reiner took a risk and vowed to take full and adamant responsibility, placing his own life at stake should Eren intercepted his own execution, much to Magath and Kiyomi’s concern.

The moment Eren Jeager was escorted from the carriage transporting him from his last detainment, all in attendance stopped their conversation as they eyed the titan shifter warily. With less than thirty notable individuals in attendance, the execution was meant to be a private circumstance with only the higher ranking officials from members of the Paradis-Liberio axis and the overseers as witnesses.

Anka, whose presence was required as the temporary caretaker to the heir of Paradis’ throne, held the infant tightly in her arms. She was very, very sure that the Queen’s last words specifically mentioned that Eren Jeager was not allowed near the child, let alone touching it. Yet Commander Hange rested a comforting hand on the Garrison officer’s shoulder, assuring her that the Council decided to grant one last compassionate request from their war criminal. The auburn-haired officer sent a concerned look at Mikasa who only gave the said woman a nod to ease her concerns in return. Therefore, Anka gradually calmed herself enough the moment Eren approached her and gently kiss the top of Ymir’s tiny head - the only part of her visible from the snug wrap that kept her warm. Eren’s eyes were closed with unspeakable peace on his face. Mikasa felt a tender pull happening inside her chest the moment she witnessed Eren’s gentleness, even more so from the way he was savoring the only chance he ever had to touch his own child by inhaling the sweet scent from the wisps of Ymir’s thin hair -  those of the same color as her father’s.

After a respectful amount of minutes, Hange cleared her throat and reminded, “It’s time, Eren.”

Nodding, Eren turned his head towards his former immediate superior and begged, “Please take good care of her and love her as you would your own, Captain.” Levi, who had been amongst the attending higher military officials in presence, coolly nodded to respect the young father’s wish.

However, the moment Eren passed by the front row of witnesses, his steps approaching the execution spot were halted unexpectedly. There was a solemn look on the Attack Titan holder’s face as he blurted out an unwarranted confession. “I lied when I said I’ve always hated you, Mikasa. Just know that I have nothing but love-”

Armin stopped his words dead in its tracks. Whatever Eren needed to get off his chest should’ve been done the night before. “Eren, don’t you dare hurt her with your words again. She doesn’t need to hear any more lies from you.”

Eren insisted, “Please listen before I go, Mikasa, I am very sorry I couldn’t love you the way you needed me to.”

Levi stepped in next to his kin using the walking aid under his arm and snapped dangerously, “Jeager, stop.” Despite his recovering injuries, he had no qualms in smacking the brat even right before the younger man’s execution. The young heir to one of the most powerful empires in the world did not emit even the slightest reaction upon her superior’s intervention.

The Attack Titan holder nodded dejectedly towards his former superior though he didn’t heed the older man’s warning. He was not going to bring any more future knowledge to the grave with him. “You’re always my family, Mikasa. And also…..,” there was a slow intake of breath in between before he continued, “because the girl that I saved from the kidnappers ten years ago was never meant to be with me.”

Her heartbeat increased rapidly, thundering in her ears with a deafening throb and drowning out all the other sounds surrounding her form. She could sense the beginnings of manic hyperventilation. She always had everything under a calm reign even in the eyes of an impending disaster.

Why must he say it now? Why won’t he just keep his words to himself? Why must it be her feelings that he kills every time he wants to keep his conscience clean?

Mikasa shook her head, again with her tears trickling down her cheeks, struggling to breathe in the air that couldn’t seem to flow inside her lungs. Her body began to shake in a mild though unstable rhythm. She wasn’t supposed to break down in front of her friends and everyone present at the execution.

She can’t do this again.

“-can’t do this. I can’t….” Her pleading words were strained, low and hurting the moment they left her trembling lips as she fought to breathe in the ironically calm ocean breeze. Dark spots began to cloud her vision and she strained to stop herself from falling down the dark hole in the back of her mind.

Yet, a warm, steady hand against her back gave her the courage to look back at her childhood friend, brother and unfulfilled love. She turned her head to the side to see the face of the Armored Titan holder giving her the gentlest of smiles and the courage for her to seize her closure. In the reflection of the engulfing morning sun, her eyes saw a fleeting vision of the light embracing the taller man standing next to her - like the brightest star in her darkest night - clearing away the metaphorical blemishes. Her eyes blinked several times in disbelief before his deep voice pulled her back from her wandering thoughts, reminding her of where she was at that moment. “Breath, Mikasa….” Reiner’s voice was a low, bolstering gesture that accompanied the simplest of his touch.

A deep breath that she had been holding in escaped her lips in a calm exhale.  “I kept on denying it but maybe you’re right. You were what I desired, Eren but I might have found what I truly needed.”

Pieck, who was also in attendance amongst the Marley unit, reveled upon the shared sentimental moment between the newlyweds in silence. No matter how much Reiner and the Hizuru princess tried so hard to avoid from emoting their feelings in the public eye, it was fairly obvious that both of them had at least warm up to each other despite the existing hostility between them.

On the other hand, the corners of Eren’s lips curved into a serene, knowing smile of his own. “That you have. Everything is happening the way it has always meant to be for you.” And him.

Reiner didn’t miss Eren’s gaze when their eyes locked from across the vast, empty space between them. As if he knew something that no one else did.

The raven-haired royalty shook her head in further confusion. “Eren, you’re not making any sense-”

Hange sternly reminded the two childhood friends of the time-sensitive event at hand. “It’s time.”

Eren nodded. “Thank you for everything.” He was escorted to the extraction point with his hands remained in cuffs and stood calmly to wait for the inevitable.

Porco, who had been entrusted with the primary task of execution and taking the Titan powers that Eren held, unsheathed the blade tucked between his belt and began to make a small cut against his palm but to no avail, there was no spark to signify an impending transformation. “Something’s not right.”

“What happened, Galliard?” Commander Theo Magath approached the Jaw Titan holder and asked as the latter’s hand turned into a bloody mess of cuts but failed to trigger a transformation.

The blonde-haired Jaw shifter shook his head in sheer puzzlement. “It’s weird. I’m not shifting.”

Reiner stepped forward to move closer to the edge of the hill and in the process ensuring that he was a safe distance away from all in presence, proceeded to lift Masamune’s hilt and sliced his own thumb with the steel blade.

It bled with the intent to shift but there was no longer the transdimensional heed to the Paths and there was no steam on the fresh cut. There was only regular crimson fluid pulsating out from his finger.

He shook his head back to everyone in doubt.

Hange’s eyes and mouth widened as she exchanged confused looks with Levi who was standing next to her. “Eren did it then. There are no more Titan powers. I couldn’t believe it. It definitely changes everything.”

The lead advisor, much to the other council members’ surprise, persisted as he exclaimed, “It does not. Call forth your shooters, Supreme General.” He sent a fearful look towards Dot Pixis’ direction. “The execution must go on.”

“No. Hold on for a minute!!” Mikasa cried out in a feeble attempt to halt the proceedings.

“Your Highness,” remarked the lead advisor sternly, “I believe you are well aware that obstruction of justice is a treason and regardless of your stature, you will not be exempted from incarcera--” His words were cut dead in its tracks the moment a tall, domineering figure stepped in front of him. The towering, intimidating form belonging to the War Chief of Marley looked down on the now frail, jittery form of the Council’s head. Cold sweats began to perspire in nervousness as he tried to fight back the icy, condescending stare from the younger Eldian man.

Reiner’s voice was a deep warning growl the moment his hand rested against Masamune’s sheath. “I’d appreciate it if you watch the tone that you are using with the princess. I would not allow anyone to disrespect my bride nor would I allow anyone to threaten her, even more so in my presence.”

The woman in subject swore there was a small, unexpected thump inside her chest the moment she witnessed the way Reiner defended her in front of the mousy old man’s face, literally. Mikasa felt warmth creeping up her cheeks unhurriedly, coloring her porcelain skin with the most untimely shade of crimson as their eyes clashed in that instance.

The intensity in Reiner’s gaze elicited an unexplainable prickling deep within her belly as if she had a bunch of pins and needles shoved inside her and all were pressing deep against her skin in a subtly pleasant kind of way. What was that? Mikasa suddenly found herself struggling to retain the air that she breathed as she placed a hand to calm the raging heart within her chest.

This brewing sensation felt utterly familiar...

Reiner looked back at the shorter, older man in front of him and strictly proceeded with further caution. “-- and need not I remind you of your role, Your Excellency. You are here as an overseer and until we have placed our initials on that parchment, the verdict is not final.”

The cowering old man was at a loss for words. He couldn’t believe that this young man was the same desolate soldier from yesterday and apparently a jab at the young Hizuru princess’s honor was all it took to trigger the intimidating side of the Armored Titan shifter from Marley. Now, he finally understood the source of hearsay amongst Marley’s enemies in the mid-east region of the terrifying Eldian tank from the slums of Liberio.

Fortunately for him, his fellow council members aided to remedy the situation by apologizing for his lowly blunder. Alden Viktor, the same well-intentioned advisor - the elderly man with a refined mustache - from yesterday, lowered himself into a bow. “We apologize on behalf of the council, young Lord of Hizuru. Please forgive our leader’s apparent error though it was anything but intentional on his part. We have the utmost respect to the Lord and Lady of the greatest empire in the East Sea. Although, we would eventually have to address this new development. We can all agree that Eren Jeager is too dangerous to remain in either here or Marley if he is not facing immediate termination.”

Reiner nodded his head in agreement before suggesting the unexpected. “Therefore, the only logical outcome is for him to be sentenced to a lifetime of banishment to Hizuru. It will be just and ideal for him to be under the Hizuru government’s custody.”

He received several oppositions at first yet he remained objective. “I have known Eren Jeager since we were young recruits -- we were brothers-in-arms and now, in a sense, family. Without the power of the Titans, us, the shifters are the same as everyone else. Eren was a threat before he turned the tide of battle. However, right now, we could safely say that he may no longer be able to utilize the Founder’s powers to influence the transience of time or memories.”

To his surprise, his prompt recommendation received no objection in return as all of the military commanders in attendance nodded their heads, slowly but surely they did.

However, Viktor mused, his concern apparent on another vital point. “What about the late Queen’s demands? Surely having the father to the infant princess on the same land would endanger the princess’ safety?”

Hange, being the only official present who had notarized the Queen’s will during her last moments, proceeded to share her thought. “Pardon, gentlemen. I do recall the will of the late Queen which specifically mentioned that Eren Jeager must be stopped at all costs. Even so, she did not prohibit the father from having any contact with their daughter, considering at that point the Titan powers are still in existence.”

Pixis, the newly-appointed Supreme General, voiced out his support for the notion. “Eren Jeager will remain in lifetime imprisonment and Captain Levi would still be the designated guardian of the child. However, whether the child gets to know about her father will depend on Eren’s behavior and risk. What do you think of this, Captain?”

All eyes turned towards Paradis’ infamous Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, waiting for his response. Levi, who sent a firmly resolved glare at his former subordinate using the only good eye he still has left, inevitably gave a single nod while exchanging a concerned look with his longtime comrade. Hange only gave him a ‘trust me’ look in return.

“Tch, I have no other option then. If he endangers anyone, my words stayed true. I will end him without any further negotiations.” It seemed like he would still have to uphold the promise he had made publicly during Eren’s Court-martial five years ago.

Great, now he’ll have to babysit both father and daughter.

Viktor’s head nodded upon receiving the assurance as soon as he perceived the vote of confidence given from both the Supreme General of Paradis and the young Lord of Hizuru. “We must make haste for the amendments then.”

International Harbor

Northern Coast, Paradis

On that same evening itself, the Hizuru transporters docked at the Island’s only functional harbor could already be seen blowing up steam as the naval officers and crews were gearing up for the departure towards their respective destinations. As soon as the execution of Eren Jeager was halted, upon further re-examination and another round of exhaustive lengthy debates, the Council and the representatives of all nations involved finally advocated the notion to place the former tri-Titan holder to a lifetime of incarceration on the land of Hizuru. The main argument had been suggested from the gifted strategist of the Survey Corps division; namely Armin, as he disputed that being alive, Eren could provide more vital information towards building Paradis’ first historical records for future generations as he was the only shifter to have had access to the memories as well as powers of the first Titan.

However, due to the insoluble nature of concern on whether the absence of Titan powers would still influence the remaining titan shifters’ lifespan, the Council deemed it justifiable to omit the second paragraph outlined under the Pillar Three of the Binding Agreement for an unspecified period of time.

On the main dock, Lord Takeshi could be seen reporting the status of all transporters back to Reiner who, after arranging for most of the Hizuru soldiers to board the aircraft under Commander Magath's leadership, instructed the remaining seventy men to accompany the main entourage via the two sea transporters back to Marley. While the third transporter will soon be departing to provide extra security for the main ship that will be carrying Lady Kiyomi and the important company from Paradis - namely their prisoner of war.

Standing next to Hange, a faint grunt could be heard from the raven-haired former Captain of the Survey Corps as he adjusted his walking aid. “So much for a ‘peaceful retirement’. You brats owe me for the rest of your lives,” pressed Levi, while looking at his former unit members, with the exception of Eren himself as he was not allowed any further send-off.

Mikasa only responded with a respectful bow instead, uttering, “The House of Azumabito will never be able to repay you for all your kind services in lieu to our family and our new ward. But rest assured all of your needs will be taken care of by the Royal House.” Even Armin felt compelled to bow his head down in front of their former superior upon seeing his childhood friend’s action, while Connie and Jean observed the interaction on the side silently.

Levi exchanged a mutual look of amusement with his longtime comrade and Commander, Hange before the latter cracked with a burst of lighthearted laughter. “You can cut the formal shit out with me, brat. The ol’ lady’s not around.” He was obviously referring to the Azumabito family’s matriarch, who fortunately had been onboard the vessel already.

The younger Ackerman lifted her head again. There was no denying the tears that were threatening to escape her eyelids. “Please take the greatest care of them for me, Captain.”

“You have my word, but remember, I will not hesitate to put him down for good if he decides to make another ‘smart’ move again.”

Mikasa couldn’t suppress the laugh from her lips despite her already glistening eyes.

Nonetheless, Levi began to sigh and murmured low, “No more tears for that brat, Mikasa. You’re a married woman now.”

She crossed her arms, her hands gripping against them in a self-soothing manner. “And I’m still not sure if it’s a good thing or not.” Her insecurities were resurfacing at another untimely circumstance.

Her older kin shrugged. “How the hell would we know, kid? None of us here had been married. You’ve beaten the odds already.” There was a short pause as Levi tried to find the appropriate words of advice to offer instead. “Look at all the good that has come from your union and consider more good that will happen in the future. Also, you’re my only hope to continue the Ackerman bloodline. So, ‘do it’ for our family.” No one missed the subtle humor in the older man’s tone, much to everyone’s sheer astonishment and Mikasa’s awkwardness.

Levi unfortunately, was on a roll as he basked in the younger woman’s mortification. “Oh, please. I might have lost an eye but I am very sure you kids were practically eye-fucking each other earlier.”

Someone screamed Levi’s name. It was Hange. Or maybe Armin. While Jean and Connie could only exchange nervous cackles between them.

Mikasa’s eyebrow twitched in between anger and self-consciousness. “Be glad we’re related. I would’ve kicked you into the water.”

Levi gave her a sarcastic smile in return. Even with a missing eye, fingers and a broken leg, the younger Ackerman would never get to best him even on a better day. “Well, it made you stopped crying didn’t it?”

She nodded her head before laughing in surprise and at that moment, a voice could be heard calling out for her name from onboard the ship. It was Gabi, waving her arms high with the ever-loyal Akane standing right beside her and the young Falco together with someone who looked like his big brother next to him. They were soon joined by Reiner’s approaching figure as he stopped short next to where she was standing within a respectable distance, facing the comrades and friends whom they would have to bid their farewells to. Despite the space between them, she did not shift away in discomfort the moment he leaned his head closer to remind her that it was indeed time for them to start their journey.

For some reason, Levi’s earlier words stayed at the back of her mind and that same reason caused her to cast her eyes downwards, trying her damndest to avoid looking at her newly-wedded husband’s face. She was afraid that her older kin’s words might be proven to be true. While the clueless Reiner could only gaze at the young woman’s face in concern. He understood how difficult this part would have meant to her.

She nodded respectfully at the timely reminder. It would have been a lot harder to part ways with everyone if she allowed her tears to fall freely again.

Reiner went ahead to address the others as he remarked unhurriedly, “I guess this is a permanent farewell for me,” he proceeded to bow down and lowering himself, taking everyone by surprise, “I apologize for everything I have caused under the name of Marley. My apologies would not change the actions of my past but I humbly promise to spend the rest of my life atoning for the sins I have done with God and my wife, the Lady Mikasa as my witness.”

Jean, Connie, and Hange had a calm and considerate look on their faces, while the surprise was very apparent on Mikasa’s face. She still wasn’t used to seeing the many different sides to him but she couldn’t stop telling herself that everything from him was an incomparable world-class act. She was slightly frustrated that her former Commander and teammates would believe Reiner’s apology like it were the sincerest words to ever come out from the former shifter’s lips.

He was a good pretender, Mikasa. An excellent one at it. Never fall for his words.

She repeated the words ‘pretender’ again and again at the back of her mind like a mantra. Her immense sadness was soon replaced with doubt and the feelings in her heart grew heavier by the moment.

It will be a long journey to Marley once again and she wasn't sure she would be ready for it.

“Hey,” a soft female voice pulled Mikasa back from her musing. Hange was already standing in front of her, clutching the younger woman’s arms tightly with hopes that the tiny action could once again channel a much-needed strength as it did before. The first female Commander of the Survey Corps had undeniably become the mother figure to her for the past five years. 

Here they were, at the same place from two weeks ago. “I still believe this is not goodbye. It’ll always be ‘See you again’. Make full use of the gift, you would need it especially more now than ever. You will know when would be the right time for it, though I hope you would not need to.” The brown-haired older woman tilted her former subordinate’s chin up and said, “You could be so much more than a soldier, Mikasa. Live your life to the fullest.”

“Co-commander….” Mikasa’s voice began to choke with well-restrained tears and she was immediately pulled into Hange’s arms as the older woman patted her back in a motherly manner.

“As of today onwards, I am officially no longer your Commander, Your Highness. Thank you very much for your services to our people here in Paradis. Live well and happy. We will see each other again.”

Only Hange’s crisp overcoat’s fabric muffled Mikasa’s anguished sobbing as she held the girl who she had witnessed growing so much from a young pre-teen recruit to the woman that she was at that moment. She couldn’t be more proud of the girl in her hold.

She looked back at the young blonde-haired War Chief from Marley - the one she had almost killed back in Shinganshina five years ago. Maybe there had been a divine intervention that’s been protecting him after all these years -- like an immortal blessed by the Gods himself.

The large iron-hulled ship with its black and silver body glided across the water on a cruising speed ever since its departure from Paradis’ newly-christened international harbor more than an hour ago. Reiner went through every section and compartments of the whole ship, ensuring that every part of the transporter was fully functional. Aptly-named with ‘Amatsukaze’ or Heavenly Wind, the illustrious one-time destroyer of the East Sea waters had now been refurbished to be the Royal Family’s main vehicle of emissary, proudly bearing the insignia of Azumabito clan’s three blades on its sails.

The moment he climbed up the ship’s quarterdeck from the lower deck, he could see the sun slowly descending into the far horizon, with the fine glow of dusk curtaining the early night skies. The temperature dropping even lower than usual as the winter was around the corner. Most of the crew on deck had been making a beeline for the mess hall in the lower level of the ship, leaving only the scout on the crow’s nest, waiting patiently to be relieved from his duty.

He caught the sight of Falco and Gabi leaning against the railings, talking about the things they can’t wait to return to in Marley with Colt and Mikasa’s young handmaiden standing nearby, having a conversation of their own.

Akane rushed towards him, greeting him with a bow before saying, “Milord, I apologize for losing track of time. I will bring Lady Gabi and young Master Grice down to wash up and get ready for dinner at the main room.”

“Much appreciated. Thank you.” He nodded gratefully, exchanging a smile with Colt who caught Falco’s head in his arms and wrestled playfully with his younger brother.

“Is Mikasa--?” He didn’t need to finish his sentence as Akane was very quick in pointing towards the elevated rear deck of the ship, where the woman in question was gazing far into the direction of the island they left behind.

The moment they saw Mikasa getting onboard the ship to the joyful awaiting girls, Levi sent a good-natured swipe at his former subordinate. “I’m quite surprised that you’re bending over backward for her happiness. It’s more than guilt, isn’t it, Braun?” He didn’t miss the nervousness on Arlert’s face as the younger lad was unfortunately caught in between the conversation between the two men of authority.

Reiner only gave a bewildered expression in return, his lips formed a tight line. “I’m afraid I don’t have an answer to that, sir.” Be that as it may, his eyes gave away the truth the moment he looked back at the older man.

“I’m not her father but I’m as good as one, still living and as far as blood ties are considered. So, no matter what it takes, her happiness will always come first before your duty.” The shorter man sent an intimidating gaze filled with promises of pain through his only visible eye. “She shed so many tears for Jeager so don’t you dare make her cry for you. You might be the new Lord but I can still kick your ass.”

“You’re not the only one though that’s for sure.” There was a cynical grin on Reiner’s face before it turned serious again. “I’ve made a sacred vow and I don’t take it lightly.”

“Good. Maybe married life suits you well, after all, Braun,” observed Levi nonchalantly.

“Reiner….,” Armin called out to his former comrade. “I’m truly sorry about Bertolt. I didn’t deserve-He didn’t deserve--”

“Maybe we both don’t deserve to still live after all these years but here we are.” The taller blonde looked back at the younger man with a faraway look in his eyes. Long gone the innocence on the face of the younger boy he used to help a lot when they were recruits and there was nothing but just and maturity in its place. “It’s been fated this way, Armin. Perhaps through you, Bertolt’s spirit will live on and somehow will still get to watch over Annie from above.”

Armin nodded in pain yet with a sorrowful hope and a solid promise in return. “I will care for and love Annie for the rest of my life.” His face reddened after realizing the unintended confession that just came out from his mouth.

At the same time, Reiner’s eyes hardened into a resolute gaze the moment they went back to the raven-haired woman onboard the docking ship in front of them who was smiling shyly at something his younger cousin said. “And I will build her dreams with my own two hands.”

I don't want to be someone who walks away so easily

I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make

Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts

We got yeah we got a lot at stake

He climbed up the stairs leading all the way to the elevated section of the warship, cleared his throat before settling himself next to her, his own upper body leaning hard against the carved wooden palisade. She tilted her head slightly with a wordless admission of his presence. His mouth was itching for a smoke but he didn’t want to be disrespectful of her personal space. Up close and personal, in the dim light of the new moon, he could finally see the dark circles under her eyes which added more weight to the obvious exhaustion on her pale face.

He wondered if he could soothe away her worries by running his fingers against her beautiful face, wondered if he could make her flushed with joy instead of darkened with sorrow.

He would wait until she was ready to break the silence, even if it would take the whole night. He just wanted her to know that he was not going anywhere and he was not going to let her be by herself either. They both had gone through a lot - even more so for her - for the past two weeks.

It was a companionable arrangement and during that moment he made a mental note to sit down with Lord Takeshi the day after to further discuss on the relief and reconstruction plans that are waiting for their orders back in Marley.

“He said-...that I’m nothing without him…..” He’d heard her words trailed unexpectedly, breaking his musing yet he stayed silent. “I don’t know who I am ever since...maybe he’s right…..” The short, dark bangs framing the side of her face fluttered wildly in the evening breeze. “I’ve always lived chasing after his shadow or being inside it. ”

His right arm moved across the ledge sliding through the distance between them and he rested his hand against her own, offering its warmth. “You’ve been one of the strongest, bravest girl I’ve ever known and you still are but I can't find the right words to give you justice. I just wish you could see yourself through my eyes.”

Who was she kidding? She shook her head in utter wariness as she was not expecting him to be ‘empathetic’ with her plight. She sighed bitterly while turning her body towards his direction and murmured, “There’s no one around. You can drop the act. We both know that every word that comes out from your mouth are blatant lies.”

His amber eyes glinted solemnly under the moonlight as his heart fired up to an absurdly rapid rhythm that drove him to instantaneously close the distance between them without any warning.

 Maybe he should let his lips do things differently then.

“Wh-.....”

The rest of her protest remained unspoken when his lips caught on to hers in a deep, desperate kiss and he pulled her willowy body into his strong embrace, delighting in her softness even with the solid muscles underneath. The underlying burgeoning tension from the past two weeks had finally reached its pinnacle from amongst erratic hormones, displacement of trust and painful loneliness. His resolve manifested itself in the way he gently bent her head backwards and yet hopelessly consumed all of her breath away. His large hand ensnared the short tendrils of her silken midnight hair, faint with the fragrance of a floral scent that he discovered had become a newly-found addiction of his, amplified the moment the tip of his sharp nose grazed gently against her cheek. Even through the thick fabric of their overcoats, none of them could deny the searing fervent heat generating between them, providing a much-needed warmth in the cold night air.

Mikasa felt herself rushing into another bout of helplessness as a strong wild tremor racing up along the veins heading straight to her spine. The moment her skin brushed against the coarse thin facial hair around his jaw, she swore a zing electrified the icy shards within as she allowed him to sip her worries away using the tip of his hot tongue as it glided effortlessly inside her mouth - exploring her uncharted territory within. Oh God, she could taste the light aftertaste of tobacco from the cigarette sticks that kept him grounded. The hands that tried to push his body away ended up entangling themselves around his neck, the ends of her fingertips brushing lightly against the metal chain around his neck - one that she never realized he’d been having on his person all this time. The clink of metal pendants caused by their movements sent a strange tingling all the way down her belly…..and lower.

“Mikasa, I won’t-” he pledged in between the kiss, “-give up”, another lick of his burning tongue against her own before it pulled back to whisper, “on you-”, followed by a tender tug from his teeth on her lower lips before he pleaded, “--on us….”

“Don’t-” She whimpered and pulled her head away, forcing his lips to stop its movements as it began to detach itself from its other half. He expected the inevitable rejection, for her to push him away.

“Don’t let go…..” She latched on to him even closer as their lips and bodies met again, driven by their unquenchable thirst, reckless hunger and unbridled lust - they never knew could possibly exist. She wasn’t sure where their paths would lead them but at that particular point of time, she’d let him take her down into the deepest, darkest abyss and she would still cling to him so tight that she’d ceased breathing either way.

He was more than ready to take her and she never knew how badly she wanted to surrender her everything to him.

I won't give up on us

God knows I'm tough, he knows

We got a lot to learn

God knows we're worth it

“Reiner! Mikasa! Are you guys up there?” A small voice called out to them from the lower level, causing Reiner to exhale the crudest profanity ever existed and forcing them both to break apart before they could press themselves to cross a line they could never undo.

True enough, Gabi’s little head appeared from the spiral stairs and jovially asked the man standing with a fuming, frustrated expression on his face. “Hey Reiner, why is your face so red? Are you angry?”

YES. Well, that was what he wanted to say but he couldn’t possibly hold his cousin’s innocence responsible for it.

“No, do you need anything, Gabi?”

She put on a hopeful smile on her face. “Can I sleep with Mikasa again tonight?”

Oh, Gabi…..

He pulled his hair back in sheer frustration. It was going to be a long two-day trip back home for him.

However, the sound of soft laughter coming from his beaming young bride who was amused with their situation absolutely canceled out any traces of his prior annoyance.

Reiner swore it was the most pleasant sound he has ever heard in his life and he wanted to hear it again every day for the rest of his life.

A/N: Thank you very much for reading! I had been driven by several strong emotions while in the process of working on these last two chapters but I truly hope you’ll find the new updates as enjoyable as the previous ones. There might be some uncertainties as there are still unanswered questions in the current manga that the way I took with Eren’s direction in As You Are’s universe might be somewhat ‘indefinite’ in a sense. However, if this chapter ends up being rewritten in the future to rectify any inconsistencies, I will definitely let everyone know!

So, the next chapter will be the tenth installment in this story and what better way to celebrate AYA’s first milestone? Does anyone want to take a guess?

Also, if you’ve read my other ReiKasa stories on my profile here, thank you very much once again! I also have an original story posted up on Wattpad . Do check it out if you’re interested to read my non-SnK stories there. It would mean a lot to me if you could ever lend me your kind, generous support on that platform as well. Thank you and see you in the next chapter!

Chapter Text

A/N: Hey guys, I’m back! A really big Thank You to Mikasa23, zethamsel05, viseniaa, regin4, RubyL, Levi-is-heicho, unnamed Guest, Xmoondustxx, MissMagic and L_lady for the thoughtful and sweet comments on the last chapter! You guys are superstars and my story is very blessed to have your support. To all of my readers, thank you so much for your patience and continuous interest in As You Are despite all the untimely delayed publishing schedules that I can squeeze in between my own real life commitments. Thank you very much once again for your love & understanding! <3 (Also, long author’s note ahead!)

Secondly, As You Are has reached its tenth chapter and personally, it’s an amazing milestone for me because since I’ve started writing fanfictions back in 2007, after 12 years I have finally written a story that actually has more than 10 chapters haha It feels very good to have exceeded my own expectations! I really couldn't do it without your tremendous love. Last I checked, As You Are has reached more than 4500 hits. Thank you all!

Before I talk about the chapter, golly I just want to share how excited but terrified I am that Mikasa and Reiner are now reunited in canon. I don’t think they’ll get to have a direct conversation with each other but I somewhat have a gut feeling that a hopeful wish of mine in seeing Mikasa working together with the Armored Titan would not be so farfetched anymore at this point. What would be the odds, yeah? (Also, in my headspace, what should have happened in chapter 127 was that Mikasa would be the one to help Gabi clean Reiner’s bloody face up hoho I’m sorry. In my head, they’re so married. Canon be damned haha)

Also, a reader shared that they weren’t really sure whether to be glad that Reiner & Mikasa are finally getting closer to each other or would have wanted to suffer for a little bit longer. I have a very interesting approach to that:

With Eren, as he keeps on constantly moving forward, Mikasa will always be several steps behind and she walks (sometimes running) after him. Eren was always out of her reach.

Meanwhile in this story, with Reiner, Mikasa and he are facing each other and yes there’s a huge distance in between them but fate has placed them towards the other’s direction. They need to close the gap between them and meet each other halfway. Now, it would seem that they are getting closer and closer to each other but there will be moments that cause either one of them to take several steps back when the other person steps forward. The tugging and pulling between Reiner and Mikasa will be challenging and mentally exhausting at some point. Tears and blood will be shed, metaphorically and literally xD That much I can promise you in what’s coming in future chapters.

Moving forward, this chapter’s mood is heavily inspired by Jeremy Zucker's You Were Good To Me & Civil Twilight’s version of Come As You Are . This chapter is a bit short because I want to make more frequent updates in 2020 & shorter chapters from my usual chapter length would be a more feasible personal target. I hope I can achieve this :3 Do share your thoughts or favorite moments in the comments section below :) Happy reading!

As You Are

Chapter Ten

You Were Good to Me

Amatsukaze en route to Marley

Main Seas

The dark vast ocean reflected the glint of the almost full moon with the cold evening breeze as its loyal companion. True to Lord's Takeshi's earlier prediction, the body of water had been slowly increasing in level, forewarning a potential high rise. Reiner’s hearing picked up the sounds of a far, distant rolling thunder, signifying the impending torrential downpour that would soon cross their route. His breath exhaled in wisps of smoke due to the lowering temperature despite the natural course of his inner body heat.

“It feels good to be going home again, isn’t it, my Lord?” asked his steadfast immediate advising officer, standing tall several feet away as they both observed the young Grice siblings who were talking and laughing together in merriment on the main deck as they wrestled each other playfully.

Reiner sent a calm look at Lord Takeshi’s way, nodded his head slowly upon envisioning the happy faces of his mother and relatives waiting in Marley before giving his own affirmation. “It is.” He noticed the soft gaze in the Hizuru native’s eyes as they took in the cheerful banter between the young boys.

“Do you have children, Lord Takeshi?” asked Reiner in return. Truth be told, it finally dawned upon his mind that he did not know much about his immediate second-in-command apart from him being the youngest son of the Hosokawa family.

Who would even have the time to be acquainted with each other when the world was practically on the verge of ending in the past several days?

It came as no surprise to him. After Paradis, he had made a solid resolve to never, ever let himself be on a personal level with someone again - just like he did with Eren, Armin and the rest of the boys in the 104th.

At one point, even with her.

If he was barely staying afloat in the ocean of guilt right now, the next wave of betrayal that hits would have pushed him into the suffocating depths of pitless despair.

Lord Takeshi shook his head gently, a strained smile upon his face the moment the question came from the Marley-born soldier. His response pulled Reiner back from the young lord’s temporary solace within his broken headspace. “I wish we do, my Lord,” answered Takeshi, “but my lady wife and I haven’t been as blessed. Absolutely not for lack of trying or prayers after all these years.” There was no mistaking the painful yearning in Lord Takeshi’s eyes, which explained the close bond that was effortlessly established between him, Falco and Gabi within such a short time. “There have been no few losses that it breaks her heart more every time it happens and my heart breaks for hers. Alas, it is not yet Izayami’s will for us to hold our own child in our arms.”

There was a short silence as Lord Takeshi’s words eventually sank into his head and Reiner could only express his sympathy towards his immediate right hand with a wordless nod. Apologizing for his predicament nor assuring that everything was going to be alright would only hurt Lord Takeshi more. But instead, he said, ”Hope is a powerful thing as long as we keep on believing.”

Maybe those words were not only meant to be shared with Lord Takeshi.

Maybe he, himself needed to hear those words for his own sake.

He had spent the last four-almost five years wanting to find the easy way out of this hell called life that the cold grazing of the rifle’s metal still lingered hauntingly at the back of his throat - like a bitter pill he failed to swallow every time he tried yet the lead’s poison kept spreading throughout his whole system, slowly consuming, liquifying his body from within. Though his physical injuries had healed, his insides had been decaying ever since he left Paradis with a failed mission years ago.

He has never felt so rotten to the core and that traitorous self-loathing was making itself known again.

“The dawn will always be on the horizon, my Lord and every day is a new beginning. That is what my father would always tell me and my brothers. I believe he would have said the same to you too,” said Lord Takeshi, agreeing with his words.

Admiral Hosokawa made sure to drill those words straight into his head before he departed from Hizuru to go back to the place he ever truly felt at home.

Reiner let out a short sigh yet there was a small smile on his lips. Maybe that’s what it was like to grow up with a father.

‘It must have been nice to have a father to look up to, to teach you the wrongs to right and prepare you to become a dutiful and honorable man.’

A sliver of good-natured envy became a passing afterthought the moment he looked back at Lord Takeshi. “I could never thank you enough for your support to Mikasa and I by being here, Lord Takeshi. We are forever in your debt. Please do not hesitate to let us know if you’d ever required any favor from us.”

“It is my duty towards the Azumabito family but it has truly been an honor to be of service to you and your family, my Lord.” Lord Takeshi bowed respectfully while Reiner returned the gesture albeit he still couldn’t get used to the extremely polite manners of the East Sea people.

“It’s best if you take shelter before the rain hits, Lord Reiner,” suggested the youngest Hosokawa heir, the moment his eyes caught a flash of lightning striking down from the skies above from a far distance, before bowing once again to excuse himself and bidding night to the Grice siblings.

It didn’t escape Reiner’s observation that despite the cool and proper demeanor, Lord Takeshi was actually a very caring person, evident from the way both Colt and Falco had immediately warmed up to the older man despite only knowing each other for only a few days. His gaze followed the silhouette of the three figures before they disappeared to the entrance heading into the lower deck, leaving Reiner alone with his thoughts.

His thoughts were filled with skewed memories that he had shared with those alive or dead in Paradis and by his own family eagerly awaiting for his return home before a vision of a black-haired beauty appeared at the back of his mind, testing his silent, untroubled resolve.

Meanwhile, deep underneath the royal sea vehicle's main deck, just below its open navigation station, there was the main chamber - a former Captain’s cabin refurbished to accommodate the temporary living arrangements of the Princess of Hizuru and her new royal consort. The medium-sized space was large enough to accommodate a writing table on one side of the iron interior, overlooking the seas through the full-paneled window panes, right beneath the ship’s figurehead; a mythical beast, with wide-spread wings, soaring upwards towards the heavenly skies above, befitting of the ship’s namesake. A sleeping berth, only slightly larger than a single-sized bed, was attached against the wall next to the writing-table. The soft mattress was covered with dark red satin sheets with a matching draping canopy on top, in which Akane took pride in as she looked at her handiwork in preparing for her young Mistress and their new Lord. The youngest and only daughter of the Akayama family - the clan of sworn loyalists to the Azumabitos - pondered whether she should consider lighting several scented tea candles to help ease the newlyweds into a more welcoming environment yet the last thing she would have wanted to happen was for the room to be on fire. She shook her head at the ridiculous idea birthed by her own concern, deciding to only make use of the candelabra in storage instead.

However, despite all that she had witnessed due to her untimely interruption during Lady Mikasa's wedding night and the whispered words amongst the servants, Akane would be the only one to know that Lord Reiner and Lady Mikasa’s marriage was still far from being consummated. While she was preparing the herbal tea for her mistress, Akane couldn’t refrain herself from observing the hearty interaction between Lady Mikasa and Lord Reiner’s younger cousin who was perched comfortably on the bed. It still amazes her on how quickly the two of them had grown close despite only knowing each other for less than a week.

“I’m pretty sure you’ve met Reiner’s mother. My dad is Aunt Karina’s younger brother. I was born two years before Reiner graduated from the Warrior program,” shared Gabi as she rested her head against her folded knees, sitting with her back against the wall. Mikasa, who had just changed into her night shift, rooted herself next to the young girl on the soft mattress, her long legs barely grazing the floor due to the bed’s height. Her hands folded neatly and she rested them on her lap, relishing in the smoothness of the light blue yukata’s silky fabric. Gabi’s story piqued her interest in spite of already knowing that Gabi had become close to Reiner only after his return from Paradis five years ago.

“How about Reiner’s father?,” asked Mikasa with genuine curiosity, presuming that Karina’s husband had passed away since surprisingly there was no mention of him at all even by anyone from Hizuru or Marley. Paradis even.

Gabi blinked back, recalling all that she could remember about her older cousin’s father.  “No one in the family knows whether he is still alive or not but what we do know is that he’s a Marleyan and Aunt Karina used to work together with him in the capital.” There was a slight pause before she continued, “That was also the reason why Reiner worked so hard to be one of the Titan inheritors so our family can become honorary citizens of Marley. But, though our family had become honorary citizens, we still had never seen or heard from his dad ever since Reiner left for Paradis.”

Mikasa nodded, partially understanding of Reiner’s situation from Gabi’s story and most of it was only reinforced by her own personal observation during the Survey Corps excursion only the year before. The prejudice and discrimination faced by the Eldians on Marley had been just as worst, if not more, as it has been for the Eldians in Paradis.

How could she ever forget the memory of the young boy whose family had offered warm hospitality for them even when they were strangers or even when they could barely feed their own family? Or even the moment she witnessed the aftermath of Eren’s assault in Liberio months later - piles of strewn dead bodies of children and women buried underneath the debris of destruction.

Eren deemed their deaths necessary but Mikasa believed that it wasn’t. She wasn’t sure what to believe anymore when it comes to Eren.

“You know, Mikasa,” continued Gabi, “I couldn’t remember the last time Reiner ever smiled until today.” If it wasn’t for the innocent glint in her eyes, Mikasa would have believed the little girl was trying to tease her again.

Akane nodded silently to herself, agreeing with the young Miss’s words. During dinner earlier, there was no mistaking the stolen glances Lord Reiner had been sending towards the princess even when he was in the middle of a conversation with Mr. Grice and his younger brother, and her with his cousin. It was a beautiful view as if Akane herself was getting a glimpse into Lady Mikasa’s near or far distant future. Their princess deserves a big family to call her own after everything she had gone through.

“......” The younger girl’s words caught her off guard and disrupted her train of thought, her visible puzzlement prompted a toothy grin from Gabi.

Gabi nodded fervently. “I’m serious. Maybe he’s finally happy because his mission’s completed and we’re finally going back home for good or maybe because he’s going to be a father too. No one knows but I’m very glad he is smiling again because of you.”

Mikasa stammered. She was at a loss for words exactly the way she did that night before the day Eren left the team to move out on executing his own plan.  “I…..Gabi, about that. It’s very impossible for us to have a child anytime soon.” Mikasa sent a concerned and worried look at Akane, afraid that she would not be able to articulate the right explanation without possibly destroying the girl’s hopeful wish.

“Is it because you hate him?” The girl’s brown eyes widened and her lips curved downwards in what Mikasa hoped wasn’t a disappointment. 

Her downcast eyes glazed over the smaller figure next to her. “Not quite......but it is a bit complicated.”

Gabi quipped, “I understand. You’re still angry at him…..” Her words couldn’t have strayed too far from the horrible truth, which Mikasa wasn’t even sure of herself, right now. “How could you feel something other than anger for him, right? Not after what he did to your home and your family. B-but it’s really not entirely his fault, Mikasa. He had no choice.”

The short-haired noble nodded gently yet remained silent. She was no longer holding it against him. That much she could reaffirm by now.

“But, will you ever forgive him?”

“Gabi…..” Mikasa reached out to place her slightly calloused hand on top of the young girl’s before continuing, “Things like this take time.”

“Which Reiner doesn’t have much of,” whispered Gabi in a broken voice, right before turning her face inwards onto her own knees. Her shoulders heaved as she began to weep for her cousin’s fate. “I- I don’t want him to die because of the curse. Can’t we ask Eren Jeager to remove it completely? He used the Founder’s powers to take back all the Titan powers. He could also lift the curse right?” mumbled Gabi to herself, but her muffled words were still as clear as day to Mikasa.

The girl’s dejected plea tugged at the bottom of Mikasa’s heart and she instantaneously shifted closer, pulling Gabi’s head against her chest, letting the girl’s tears soak the fabric slowly. “He doesn’t deserve to die so soon, Mikasa.”

Nothing. There was just nothing that she could possibly say as the right answer to Gabi’s burning questions. Though through their current conversation, it wouldn’t be too strange for Mikasa to deduce that Gabi might have not been in the know of Reiner’s suicidal tendencies after all these years, that he was yearning to meet his end way before the curse was supposed to rob him of his soul.

She understood now. Reiner had been protecting his little cousin from his own agony by sparing her the pain through hiding his own suffering to himself.

Just like Eren.

But what they both did not realize was that by keeping people that they care for in the dark would eventually hurt them even more in the end.

Mikasa held Gabi even tighter instead.

Eren and Reiner were so much alike in that sense and that realization brought a sudden ache deep inside her chest, exactly at the place where Gabi’s head was resting.

“Milady…..” Akane stepped forward to assist but Mikasa was very quick in dismissing her handmaiden. “It’s alright, Akane. You should get some rest yourself. I’ll take care of her.”

The Hizuru maid nodded halfheartedly towards the dismissal. The three of them had been sharing the same chamber for the past few days that she thought that maybe tonight would finally be the time that the Lord and Lady would have their much-needed privacy together.

To Akane, it would be one less hurdle she had to overcome and at the same time, a step closer to ensuring the continuity of the royal blood. Her mother had stressed out the importance of the union and how big of an impact the future heir would have to the treaty and as the chosen handmaiden to the Lady Mikasa, it was her sacred duty to ease the process to completion.

Akane hesitated. If it was just a stranger that the princess had married, it would have been a lot less complicated than the situation they were currently in. After being divulged of the real story by the princess several nights ago when they were back at the Island, without leaving out any crucial details, Lady Mikasa finally helped her understand the bewildering history that took place between her and Lord Reiner. There was without a doubt, some hyperventilation on her part but that did not change the fact that Lady Mikasa had been having a harder time and it took a lot more than her physical strength to retain her composure since the wedding while finding herself thrown into an unwanted battle to prevent a global-scale war soon after.

Tears were shed for her Mistress when the princess was barely sleeping upon knowing everything that had happened. 

Nonetheless, Akane bowed and excused herself but she remained vigil against the door the moment she let it closed behind her, leaving the princess and her new ward alone.

She couldn’t remember when she had fallen asleep right in front of the door but the moment she heard the Lord’s voice calling for her name, she haphazardly stood straight to greet him with a hasty bow, earning a concern from the Marley-born Eldian.

“Is everything alright? Is Gabi giving you trouble again?,” asked Lord Reiner, an evident worry reflected on his face.

Akane gulped in nervousness as she lifted her head to look up at their young Lord.

How could she possibly help bridge the distance between their Lord and Lady before he runs out of time?

The end of Reiner’s lips curved up into a wide smile while he shook his head in sheer amusement the moment his eyes took in the scene right in front of him as soon as he stepped into his chamber; Gabi, sleeping with her head nestled against Mikasa’s shoulder, looking snug and comfortable being cocooned by the older woman’s embrace, who was also fast asleep. He really wouldn’t mind taking the floor instead of moving Gabi back to her own room that she shared with Mikasa’s handmaiden, but the young Hizuru girl was very adamant in bringing his sleeping cousin back with her. Therefore, after carefully prying his little cousin away from Mikasa’s sleeping figure, he carried the girl away into her own bunk while Mikasa’s handmaiden disappeared towards the direction of the ship’s kitchen.

When he made his way back to the chamber that he’ll be sharing with his new bride, Reiner’s heartbeat increased its tempo, much to the contrary of the slow, exhausted steps of his own two feet. They have not been in the same bedroom, even more so on the same bed since their wedding night and he was secretly relieved that his wife had drifted off to sleep. If their earlier kiss was of any indication, he genuinely believed that Mikasa was beginning to warm up to him and if it wasn’t because of Gabi’s untimely interruption, Reiner wasn’t very sure that he would be able to refrain himself from tasting more than just her lips.

His guilt be damned.

The moment he walked back to the room, he’d noticed that she had been changing her sleeping position, clutching her pillow much too hard in her hands. Her face shifted into uneasiness, evident through a visible frown, as she seemed to be fighting off another intrusion inside her sleep. Her dark tresses an unfurled mess against the dark red pillowcase.

He stood tall, overlooking the berth, his own hands trembling within the folds of his overcoat’s pockets. Mikasa’s slender form began to curl inwards, a hand grasping against the empty space beside her, navigating through the darkness within. Her fingers crumpled the soft sheet - looking for someone who wasn’t there.

Someone who obviously wasn’t him.

Reiner took in a deep breath, deeper than the one he had been holding the first time he placed a gun next to his own head.

Should he-?

His dried up throat reminded him that he’d been holding his breath and words far too long for his own comfort and the fact that he’s looming over his sleeping wife’s figure, made him feel more of a creep than a companion.

Would she push him away if he held her hand in his just like the way they did back at the conference hall?

During their training days on Paradis, they never talked much or even frequently with each other but when they did, it was about either Eren, Armin, kitchen duty or excursions. He remembered since he was close to both of the boys, he had sat down together with the three childhood friends for supper on certain nights, yet she would always keep her head low, seemingly uninterested with their conversation.

He wasn’t even worth her glance.

He remembered her as the aloof and stoic girl when they were younger and he was very sure she couldn’t be bothered at all with his presence. Because to her, the only thing -- no, the person that mattered to her back then was only Eren, followed closely by Armin. Though he did remember she had been nothing short of kind to him until the day he confessed his own betrayal.

Reiner suddenly felt the sudden rise of warmth inside the room, a huge opposite to the lowering temperature of the sea outside and it took him away from his reminiscence. Several claps of thunder could be heard lightly yet stronger from before. There was no mistaking that the storm would hit in the next hour.

He ran a hand through his hair, the tresses felt coarse and mucky to his touch due to the condensed salty sea breeze. He was also not unmindful to his own musky scent, too strong for his own liking, saturating into the sweat trickling from within his shirt, after being under the sun hours earlier. The dried up sweat spots on his body began to make its discomfort known - itching on the dried, tanned skin.

His nose scrunched up in disgust at his own filth and the after scent of tobacco only made him feel worse. In a way, he was somewhat glad that his younger bride was already out like a light. She was barely tolerating his presence and he’d be pushing it if he just went to sleep in his day clothes even though he’ll be camping on the creaking wooden floor of the sea vessel.

He lifted the metal chain around his neck and placed it on top of the nightstand. He allowed his own two feet to carry him towards the cabin’s bathroom, removing his boots and placing them next to the bathroom door. It shut down gently on its own. A relief sigh escaped his thin and slightly-chapped lips the moment the first draft of hot water touched the top of his head. He took his time in savoring the therapeutic flow from the metal shower head, basking in the luxury of a bath that he was very grateful for the moment it hit his body. He had been either too tired or too preoccupied with critical military and political discussions for the past several days to even be bothered with a simple necessity such as a bath.

He closed his eyes in reprieve and he rested his head against the bathroom’s wall, lost in his own emptiness and dread, with a fist glued to the lacquered wooden surface. His breath began to regulate his heartbeat as the kinks on his back muscle slowly became undone; the water did wonders to revitalize his bone-tired system.

It was only when the skin on his face and hand had been marred red - burnt from the high temperature of water and steam - did he turn the faucet off, letting the remaining water flow down the drain. After shaking the excess liquid from his darkened blonde hair, he took the awaiting towel, neatly folded and hung on the nearby railing and wrapped it around his waist. He stepped out of the bathroom door unhurriedly, not wanting to intrude upon his bride’s slumber.

He just did not expect her to be sitting on the edge of the bed, holding his military identification in her hands. Her long, dainty fingers brushed against the inscription of his name, title, and division in Marley’s native language that was engraved on the metal tags. 

The moderate-sized chamber seemed smaller now that she’s wide awake.

Mikasa turned the thin metals back and forth, trying to make sense of the object in her hold. The flat metal surfaces were too cold for her touch.

Reiner cleared his throat before asking, “Did I wake you up?”.

Her head shook gently in response, looking up towards his direction upon that instance, her eyes widened the moment she took in the view of his torso on full display with only a bath towel preserving his modesty. Even in the dim light of the candles, Mikasa’s sharp gaze could still notice the way several remaining water droplets from his earlier bath drizzled down his chest, moving further down the contoured skin of his abdomen, disappearing into the cotton fabric - exactly at the end of his muscle lines.

He was not oblivious to the way her eyes glazed over him but he would know better that there was nothing but a revolt in those gray eyes.

Mikasa averted her gaze away the moment she noticed that he had been staring at her too, causing Reiner to fumble around fervently in the dimly lit room, looking for anything he could use to cover himself up. A light yukata was offered to him from the only other occupant of the room, whose eyes were blinking nervously, seemingly more interested in the pattern of the oriental mat on the floor instead. He mumbled a small ‘Thank you’ while he had the dark blue fabric wrapped around his body.

Mikasa directed her downcast eyes back to him and hesitated for a short moment before saying, “Hange-san...she told me what happened at the Trost barracks the night when Annie’s crystal broke and what happened the day after.”

Reiner’s form stiffened, stunned with her sudden question. His own amber eyes darted back shakily towards her. There was a tiny sound of twisted metals and he stared in sheer horror upon realizing that Mikasa had grasped the metal pieces too hard inside her hands that they bent out of their original shapes.

She was angry - no, fuming, he understood it way much better now.

Her voice broke into a struggling whisper. “Do I not deserve to know what happened?”

Reiner stammered with a reply of his own. “I-I never meant to hide anything from you. I couldn’t tell you what happened with Marc-”

“Why?”

“Annie, did you have anything to do with Marco’s death?”

It took a while for the flaxen-haired female shifter to respond. After several deep breaths, she finally gave her answer. “I took Marco’s gear and that’s why Marco was devoured by a Titan.”

“Annie just obeyed my order,” declared Reiner, stepping into the conversation. He couldn’t allow any more dishonesty to remain undisclosed and he couldn’t let Annie shoulder the blame for the decision he had made in desperation. “Marco overheard a conversation between Bertolt and I that had to be kept a secret. I feared that our true identities would be found out…..” He swallowed the air that was stuck in his throat bitterly before continuing, “I thought if Marco was killed by a Titan it would silence him well.”

He could feel the piercing glare coming from Jean, whose hands had begun shaking, contorting in anger.

He forced himself to offer his side of the story, with full knowledge that he would further invoke the wrath of the unfortunate Marco’s best friend. “I...I threw Marco onto a roof in midair and while I was holding him down so he couldn’t move, Annie did what I ordered her to do.”

“Marco couldn’t move from the spot and he was eaten by a Titan who came from behind him.”

Jean looked up with narrow scrutiny, a dark shadow on his face. “Marco…...he didn’t say any last words?”

“He said….’We still haven’t talked’.....” He looked down in shame, fully aware of the confused look on Armin and Commander Hange’s face and the forlorn look reflected on Annie’s.

Hange intervened, attempting to mediate the distressing conversation. “Yet, look where we are right now. We have sat down together, talked, discussed, drank and broke bread together and we would continue to do so for the future so we could preserve the peace that is beginning. Who would have imagined this?”

Reiner’s conscience was killing him from the inside. He did not mean to disrespect the Commander but he couldn’t stop himself. “While I was watching Marco being eaten alive by that Titan, I…..I asked myself, why is he being eaten? And then I let myself be overcome by rage and I killed that Titan while saying ‘You did this to Marco’.”

Jean cut his words off with an indifferent look on his face. “That's enough. You're saying the guilt messed with your brain, right?”

“Don't forgive me….I…..really am......a worthless man.”

“I said that's enough.”

“I’m sorry…..”

He saw it coming. He knew Jean was lunging at him the moment the apology left his mouth and he didn’t fight back or even defend himself. He deserved Jean’s anger, his rage, his hatred. For every strike from the younger man’s fists to his face, he prayed and prayed that Jean’s anger would be the killing blow that ends his misery. The immense pain he felt the moment his face busted open and his blood that sprayed against the cell’s wall and floor couldn’t even measure up to the weight of his sins.

Maybe death wasn’t too far away…..Just a little bit more, Jean.

Yet, Armin stepped up to restrain the Survey Corps Squad Leader and spared him from more excruciating injuries. The same Armin who had his own best friend’s powers yet he knew he had no right to be angry at all.

“Jean, that’s enough. Stand down!.” Hange commanded her immediate subordinate sternly, only reminding all the occupants inside the room that violence will not resolve anything. “I understand your anger, Jean, but if you harm Reiner any further, it’s us who will be answerable to the Hizuru empire and the alliance we’ve worked hard to establish.”

“Fuck the alliance. Fuck Hizuru. Fuck everyone!” Jean shouted back at no one in particular, yet his eyes darted back at Reiner who could barely open his eyes in between the dripping blood on his face. “And fuck you, Reiner! You took the woman I’ve ever loved and you killed my best friend. Just because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time? What else? What more do you want to take from me?!” Jean’s hand ruffled his own hair in utter frustration, before clutching the sides of his head, angry tears spilling down his face. “Mikasa doesn’t deserve this piece of shit, Commander and you just handed her to him.”

The grim look on Hange’s face could not hide the sympathy contained within her visible eye to both younger men who were demoralized pawns of war themselves. “Even if that is true, Mikasa chose to carry on with the alliance. Mikasa chose the higher route with Reiner, no matter how painful or difficult it has been for her. If you really care about Mikasa, for once, you should respect her wishes because she chose peace.”

Reiner could barely lift himself up from the floor and was partially conscious the moment he realized Annie was the one who helped him rest against the cold wall of the underground cell. The ensuing silence was a painful pill for everyone to swallow.

“I am terrified. I don’t want to hurt you more than I have.”

He collapsed against the wooden floor, a repulsive, blubbering mess against her bare feet. Begging for her mercy and her forgiveness, he broke into inconsolable tears. He was weak and couldn’t be even more pathetic than he already was in her eyes. He dropped all pretense of his earlier strength. The strength of a man - an impostor - who dared to offer her comfort when he, himself had no more will to live. “I’m the worst piece of scum and I know my apologies are meaningless. If my death can bring back all the lives I had to take…. there’s never been a day where I did not wish I was dead, Mikasa.”

She remained wordless yet she threw the skewed metal tags down and watched in distaste as they landed against the wooden floor with a loud clunk. They were nothing more than a brand that treats people as possession or property. The same way Eren’s scarf had felt around her neck.

They both knew how their wedding night ended and here they were again.

Rinse and repeat. For how long, none of them knows. They could fight and cry about their past sins or they could stop all of that to make room for something else other than hatred.

Reiner didn’t even dare to move and he couldn’t even fight the hands that clutched against the collars of the yukata he was wearing, pulling him against her chest.

In the cold of the night, she was so warm like burning candles in the darkness.

His tears continued to soak the shoulder of her yukata and her calm stillness was not as cold as he expected it to be.

God, it felt so good to be held like this.

Reiner yielded into her arms and laid his head upon her beating heart, her firm hands holding him close to her own warmth.

He may not be able to forgive himself and live with his sins but he had her forgiveness anyway.

She was and still is good to him even though he wasn’t born to have anything good in his life.

Come what may, she was all that matters and that fact terrified him even more.

A/N: I couldn’t resist including chapter 127’s scene as I feel that was a very important closure for both Jean and Reiner. Once again, thank you for taking the time to read this chapter & as always, do share your thoughts and comments below!

Chapter Text

A/N: A really big Thank You to viseniia, zethamsel05, evabrennan54 & Levi_Is_Heicho for leaving supportive & wonderful comments on the previous chapter. Your kind comments are the fuel that sparks my muse to continue writing this story. For my new readers, I bid thee the warmest welcome to my humble story’s universe. I know this story’s been more than one year already and though it’s been a while, I too really, really hope to see some of my earlier readers again when this story was first published in August 2018. If you’re still reading this story, hello!

Moving forward, I’ve been working on this chapter during my country’s restricted movement control period a.k.a partial lockdown due to COVID-19. (Btw, our family’s fine here so let’s hope humanity perseveres through this ordeal. Together we can do this. Be kind & be safe!)

To be honest, I would have wanted to elaborate more on the last scene of chapter ten but I feel like I couldn’t rob the ending. Therefore, we’ll continue exploring what happens next in this chapter.

A little note to new readers of my story, I would have this particular song that I would keep on loop while I’m working on a particular smutty chapter, (Twilight Blue readers would know this!!) So, the first part of this chapter has been thoroughly inspired by Marilyn Manson’s Sweet Dreams. It spurs the angst and the tension you’re about to see in this chapter. While the second part of smut was heavily inspired by the beautiful Evensong.

Therefore, I would have to forewarn my readers that there will be graphic smut in this SUPER LONG chapter between our newlyweds. Yes, some of you have been asking about the smut here and on my Tumblr too haha So your wishes are my command, fam ;) (P/s: The smut is only Ao3 exclusive because you know why. Sorry FFN user!). Please have some Reiner & Mikasa’s sexy time to keep you warm during your quarantine hehe BUT it’s been more than a year since I last wrote a sex scene that it might have gotten a bit rusty somewhere, therefore, I apologize in advance.

Yes, I’m evil. I released a smutty ReinerxMikasa chapter right before the spoiler week of manga’s chapter 128. We all could use some thirsty smut before we all get depressed in unison because of canon lol

I know some readers hate long chapters because they couldn’t catch a break. I’m sorry, this is what happens my brain gets into hyperfocus; I don’t know where to stop. So, please use the chapter breaks to rest if it gets too much. I love you guys, ok!

This chapter’s mood is also heavily inspired by Sara Bareilles’ Gravity & Natasha Bedingfield’s I Bruise Easily .

Happy reading! Do share your thoughts or favorite moments in the comments section below :)

Also, I have a challenge for you guys, so make sure you read the note at the end of this chapter yeah?

As You Are

Chapter Eleven

Sweet Dreams (are made of this)

Amatsukaze en route to Marley

Main Seas

She was genuinely hoping that he would be truthful about what actually took place after Annie’s awakening straight from his own mouth. Her hopeful thinking was not lost in mere disenchantment even though she wasn’t prepared to hear the brutal, ugly truth that happened in Trost the day before they officially graduated five years ago. The attack on Trost, without a doubt, had been premeditated by the Marley Warriors and Marco’s death, to their suspicion at some extent had some relations to Annie but little did anyone know that Reiner was the one who called the heartless shot to silence the unfortunate recruit.

Jean had every right to be angry at Reiner’s actions. He was Marco’s closest friend during the three years of training.

If it was Eren who died by his hands, she believed that she would have been enraged even worse.

But here they are, with her arms around the former titan holder’s broken, dejected body and his tears flowing freely for the sins he had committed in the past. Sins that he had to keep to himself, that haunted him as long as he’s still breathing. As a Marley Warrior, he was a trained cold-blooded killer but with every single sin, piece by piece of his sanity shriveled into ruined fragments, his conscience trapped in a moral purgatory - no different than hell on earth.

Is Eren in that same dark place ever since?

She never asked him. She had listened to but she had never truly understood the cryptic words that hid the vengeance within. Was she that ignorant or in denial towards Eren’s turmoil that had caused his drastic measures? Did her silence cause him to walk away from the only group of people he ever called family? Was it the fear of being honest with her own feelings that had caused his irredeemable actions in Liberio and later on the whole world?

Was she only seeing the ideal version of Eren - the one that only exists in her head and not the real person in their painful reality?

The desperate heaving of lukewarm breath against her skin drew her back from the dark recesses of her mind. Her right hand brushed gently against the back of the man burrowed within her arms and his head buried between the crooks of her neck, her warmth a reassurance in the cold night air that somehow found their way through the tiny opening on the chamber’s window. The hand that held his head against her own thumping chest, found its fingertips entangled with the wet blonde tresses as the natural male scent emanating from his body heat sparked an unusual feeling from inside her own. A hint of heady, fresh pine from his earlier bath reeled her senses in, awakening a foreign sensation she had only experienced once albeit briefly before. That same feeling she had felt back when they were at the execution grounds in Paradis. Except that it was a lot stronger than before and her chest felt like it would burst open just from the sheer thought of finding out what it really is.

She was also very aware that he could hear the incessant, accelerating thumping from inside her chest.

“If he had told someone about us, we would have been executed and our families would have to face the consequences of our failure. I can’t let them kill Gabi & my mother. I had no choice….I’m really….really sorry….… Mikasa.” Reiner’s words cracked between his tears, muffled by the soft fabric of her night shift. The deep, baritone voice of his that called out for her name became a taunting echo inside her ear; an accompanying symphony that harmonized too well with her own heart’s rhythm.

He wanted to be judged, he wanted to be punished and he wanted to be executed.

However, she let him grieve, she let him exhale and she let him break down out of his own accord instead.

Everything he had done was because of the same desperate need to survive and to protect his family just like everybody else.

Kami...both he and Eren are just two different sides of the same coin.

His sins and his mistakes were not hers to forgive but maybe, just maybe her compassion could halt him from treading down the deadset path of eternal perdition. 

Mikasa clasped the sides of Reiner’s chiseled jaw and lifted his head up, gazing darkly into those sunken, heartrending amber irises though the light of the candelabra only served to magnify their mesmerizing gold-hued glow. The pads of her thumbs began to wipe away the relentless warm tears that were still running down his grief-stricken face - the face was that of a man with nothing left to lose in this world; who had grown tired and weary of living.

“I know….” She responded softly, closing her eyes before leaning her head against his, their foreheads touched tenderly with no spared distance in between. “I know…..,” the words repeated in a wistful whisper, yet her words resounded loudly in the still of the night. Her punctuation was followed by the continuous striking of thunders and the shy yet steady drizzling of a torrential downpour hitting the sea transporter.

They were both standing on the sandy dunes, overlooking a cluster of open-air refugee camps seeking asylum and mercy on the lands of Marley, after losing everything to war. Eren seemed to have slipped away from the group’s temporary base at the Azumabito embassy residence while they were in the middle of discussing a potential peace effort at an international forum taking place the next day.

From across the distance, she could observe the silhouette of a man and a child who seemed to have taken notice of their unexpected presence. 

“Eren?”

It had not gone unnoticed that Eren had been crying by the time she found him - from the way he hurriedly brushed the sides of his face with a sleeve - but back then she wasn’t sure of the reason why. She had suspected that it might have had some relations to the young boy who had cheekily picked the Captain’s coat pockets for money.

“That’s the boy from the market earlier. Did something happen?”

“Not yet.” Was the short, obscure reply. It took Eren a while before he continued his observation. “These people are just like us, who lost everything by force, whose freedom was taken away from them within a day.”

She understood that and she naively believed that she understood Eren - the real Eren - more than anyone at that time.

“Mikasa….” He kept his head straight but she could feel him looking at her from the corner of his eyes. “Why is it…. that you care so much about me?”

His words caught her off guard and speechless.

“Is it because I saved you when you were a kid? Or is it because I’m family?” Eren’s relentless questions pushed her towards the edge of her own logic - she could risk falling into the pits of the unknown if she ever dared herself to take another metaphorical step further.

‘How could he even ask her that question?’

“What am I to you, Mikasa?” he asked out of nowhere, with an expression that she couldn’t decipher and she couldn’t -- wouldn’t have the courage to look inside her heart for the answers. She loves him, she really does. They’ve been through so much together because that’s what families do. She couldn’t possibly tell him that she had been secretly desiring him to be something more than family when she knew he had given his heart to somebody else back home?

“W-well, “  her words faltered mid-sentence. “You’re famil--”

The sudden appearance of a foreign man, who seemed to be related to the boy from the market, provided a timely interruption towards their conversation and that was the last moment they ever had with each other.

Still, Mikasa found herself asking, what if on that day, she had chosen a different answer instead? Would it have changed anything?

No, it wouldn’t have.

But if there was something she had grown to understand from that night was that maybe she should have been more honest with herself and her own feelings. Even if she had come clean to Eren about how she truly felt about him, there was nothing concrete that could have pointed to a possibility of it changing the direction nor the ramifications of Eren’s decision, his clandestine love for Historia and the birth of Ymir.

If she had not chosen to wed an enemy as a way to unite the two warring nations, did she think that she could have stayed with Hizuru or Paradis and have her happy ending with Eren, raising his daughter like her own and having another family together while constantly living in fear of when the next attack will happen to the island and the people she cared about?

She looked back at the man who had to carry the burden of war on his back, with more than just a mother he needed to protect and had as much at stake. He would have been the one executed - his mother would have lost a son and Gabi would have lost someone who was more of a brother than a cousin to her. That little girl would have been forced down the same dark path as Eren did and when would that cycle of bloodshed ever end?

No, she made the right decision.

Her firm yet delicate hands began to cup his warm, grief-stricken face and her lips began to move out of its own will, seeking its mate, longing to be one again. The light feathery touch of her lips against his forehead began to move downwards towards the tip of his sharp distinctive Marley-born nose, then a cheek to the other cheek, inhaling in the strong raw, masculine scent from his body. She could taste the remnants of his salty tears as her lips ghosted tingling kisses against the heat of his skin, all while loving the sudden intake of a deep breath that he took; signifying his surprise towards the rather unexpected course of action. The hands that remained feeble on his sides froze, his fingers clenched too tightly against his palms - he was refraining himself from laying any of his hands on her out of respect.

Mikasa really wouldn’t have an inkling whether he was fighting off her touch because she was too forward or because of something else. His body still trembled from the earlier breakdown, perhaps?

She wasn’t sure.

Little did she know that her lord consort was shaking due to a rapidly growing desire from within, the degree of its intensity was becoming too unbearable for his own inexperienced body to control. He, who was already in her arms and kneeling in between her legs, needed not to do more than succumb to his own desires yet chose to still remain a respectable gentleman despite having an uphill internal battle, his desires trying to wrestle control from his guilt.

Though Mikasa didn’t need him to be a gentleman that the Hizuru or Eldian empire would be proud of at this point, she only needed him to be Reiner Braun, the fearless Warrior who would do whatever it takes to perform his duties well.

She was now his duty that he needed to deliver until the end and it could never have been the right time or the right decision to have him as her consort even though he wasn't her first choice.

For the first time in her life, Mikasa would take that leap of faith down towards the unknown with nothing but intrigue that overshadowed all the dreads and doubts she ever had. Like the steady burning of the candles, from the first stroke of the flint that slowly consumes the wick, it was his humility and sincere honesty that had triggered the first spark of desire inside her like no other man had ever done. 

It is the real human being inside this grown man - concealed too well and far too long behind his guilt - who had humbled her pride and conviction. She had her guards up the whole time ever since the day they exchanged their vows, swearing she would never open herself up nor surrender herself to him yet he had somehow slipped through her defenses without even trying, and here she was, stretched on the edge of the bed, submitting herself to him willingly.

She had let anger and disappointment cloud her senses too hard that she was forced into denial towards the young boy who had grown into a physically attractive young man after all those years. Now that they are finally in a space without anyone else in sight, she could finally admit that though the broad shoulders and his strong back  - ones who had been carrying the weight of the wars and filial responsibilities - and the face that seemed to be in constant hurt and exhaustion; they all make up an almost perfect shell of a man but it was his imperfections within that is alluring beyond words to her.

Mikasa nipped on Reiner’s thin upper lip, her tongue begging, urging for access just like the way he did with her on the deck. She had been craving to explore what could -- no should have happened if they were never interrupted. Not that she would allow anyone to know that the taste of his tongue and his lips had been inside her mind the whole time ever since.

She felt ridiculous that she had to avoid having made any eye contact with him at the dinner table - like they were young kids trying to hide a silly crush or that they did not just share a stolen kiss on the ship’s deck away from prying eyes. She thought it was just a passing feeling but even her own body could not help but respond to the visual stimulation presented to her the moment he walked out of the bathroom door, clad in nothing but a thin cotton towel.

Reiner’s breath hitched once before it became one with hers as their lips met yet again in a searing wet kiss, their eyes closed in unison and her hands clutching tightly around his nape comparable to latching on a lifeline that could help her brave the impending stormy seas of emotions. Almost losing her breath and her control, she began to feel a slight throbbing within her nether regions, causing her to distract the kiss by nibbling against the trim of light hair framing his sculpted jaw. She dusted butterfly kisses against the column of his neck, absolutely loving the way he grunted nervously in response towards her action. She bit softly at first, relishing in the oddly enticing combination of the salty sea breeze and his own perspiration, then sucking in a spot of skin too hard, that it might have left a telltale mark behind.

If he couldn’t tell yet how badly she wanted him from the way she was writhing against his body, she wouldn’t know what else she could have done.

Eyes widened, either in disbelief or delirium, lips parting with heavy breaths in between, Reiner finally relented to the already burning red-blood desire he’d had somewhat discarded in his grief. His firm hands found the courage to seize her lithe body by the curves of her slender waist, their skins separated by only the flimsy silk in between.

He saw the way her taut figure bent forward, molding perfectly against his own body. He too was more than aware that the two hardened nubs on her soft breasts - their shape stood out painfully against the fabric of her shift - would sooner become too much for his self-control to take and he could hear the same self-control walking out of the door, shutting it behind without care, allowing his inner devil full reign of its master.

It was just like their wedding night all over again; his larger frame pressed her body forward onto the mattress with gentle preciseness of a trained soldier, hands still clenched tight around her waist, reveling in the way her chest heaved, her lips panting, seeking for air that she had lost earlier. The view of her sprawled figure, her short dark tresses splayed against the crimson sheet, the blossoming blush on her face, with her slightly parted shift, revealing the smooth strip of pale skin - a fascinating symmetrical line in between her two mounds, leading to the carved muscles of her abs -  underneath the enticing moonbeam peering through the ship’s windowpane, was akin to that beautiful painting he had once seen from the windows of the only art gallery in town when he was a young boy.

It was a short glance but that painting was imprinted on his mind ever since.

It was a painting of a celestial figure - an angel , was what one of the women at the market had once told him. A pale, ethereal beauty in blue gossamer, reaching for the heavens above. Back then, he believed that angels exist and they are sent to look after good people.

If there ever were any angels, Reiner knew he was looking at one now with his own two eyes.

He could always be lost in the enticing depths of her deep granite irises. Like a work of art, she had the power to pull him into a trance and he allowed her spell, as well as her hands to guide his own from the curves of her waist and to slid up her whole torso with the gentlest of caress until it hovered on top of her mounds. 

Touch me, her eyes pleaded to him with a demure persistence.

And touch her he did, his inner heat seeping through the silk like a raging blaze in the maddening wind. He began to knead the flesh tenderly, causing the breath that she inhaled earlier to come out in a small whimper instead.

His breath became heavier the moment his palms tasted the friction of soft fabric against his callous skin….and the hardened nubs in between. Oh God, he moaned, she’s so much more beautiful and even more amazing to his touch.

Her half-lidded eyes were in a daze as they watched the movement of his hands with heated exhilaration, biting her lower lips in anticipation.

Just like an angel.

Mikasa could be someone’s angel and she was meant for a good person.

He was anything but.

The light left his eyes like the earlier spark was prematurely doused by a huge wave of stormy waters. He couldn’t touch her. Not like this - like he was using his guilt and breakdown to fish for her sympathy.

He always thought that as a man, he would be ever ready to perform his marital duties to his bride but Mikasa….she was no ordinary woman. She was more than a royal blood that needed to reproduce. She was--is someone who was more than a duty to him.

He was not her friend but she is someone to him.

He would be regretting this but it would be better for him to stop now than for her to regret it in the morning after she realizes that she had made a terrible mistake by allowing him to take advantage of her kindness and compassionate nature.

“Mikasa….,” he struggled to breathe while hopelessly fending off the burgeoning lust within, forcing himself away from her, shoving himself on the other end of the bed, flinching as if his hands were on literal fire. “I-I can’t-.......I shouldn’t…… I don’t even deserve to touch you. I’m sorry……” He apologized profusely, eyes closing in shame and his head dropped low into his hands. He couldn’t even dare himself to look at her.

She lifted herself up from the bed, her head filled with so much confusion. Was it something she did? Her eyes dropped down immediately, unbeknownst to the young man who had assumed that it was out of hatred or disappointment instead of sadness.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take the floor when I come back. I just need to get some fresh air.” He said quickly, without even giving her a glance nor a chance for her to respond before heading straight for the door.

Mikasa shifted to a corner of the berth, adjusting her shift, fastening the ties of the shift even tighter to her own body.

The room suddenly felt too cold and too large for her.

She felt a rush of unpleasant memories and feelings surging through her brain as if a trigger had just been pushed unwillingly.

The same heavy ache inside her chest resurfaced and the first time it ever happened was the day Eren proclaimed with his own lips that he has always hated her.

Is this another sign that she could never keep what isn't hers no matter how badly she wanted it?

Meanwhile, Reiner, who had just walked out of the room, rested himself against the door behind him, feeling angry at himself and at the powers that be for cursing him.

It was their wedding night all over again and he truly felt that the universe is working against him.

He traces the eerie, ghastly steps across the dark hallway, not knowing where he had begun nor where he would end. The dark red tapestry and the dark wooden interior of the ship emitted an ominous vibe - too dark, too profound. The flashing of lights disappeared as quickly as it appeared, followed by the sounds of crackling thunder in pursuit. He is clueless about where he should be heading.

The sound of a metal door opening catches his immediate attention and he turns his head towards the source of light that comes through the barrier. He lets his feet take control of his body, approaching the exit and he finds himself facing the main deck of the mighty sea vessel. On the ledge of the ship’s railings, there stood a figure by its lonesome. A figure he has grown to know so well by now.

“Mikasa….” He calls out to her, anxious that she is too close to the edge. Decked in an overflowing black dress, the ends of the fabric flutter wildly in the raging wind and her skin drenched from the pouring rain. His steps falter upon noticing the red skies and the chain of large, looming figures too tall that they reach the skies, all marching towards where the ship is heading to. Marley. They are the Gods of Destruction and they are all heading to Marley.

“No….” He cries helplessly, as he foresees the impending disaster that was about to happen. It is then the figure turns herself around and whispers painfully, “I can’t do this life, not without him…….I’m sorry…..” The next thing he knows, Mikasa falls over the ledge into the bone-crushing blood red sea below.

“NO!!” He screams and he lunges forward to save her but he is always too late. She was gone. He couldn’t see her anymore through his blurred, teary vision.

He curses his own being. Even in his dreams, his fate is still fucked. Why? Why? Why?

“I’ve told you before, Reiner.” A voice next to him makes itself known, only to reveal his former friend yet also former enemy, Eren Jeager. He is clad in an attire just like that night in Liberio. Except for this time around, it is doused in blood. It is his own disgraced, steaming Marley blood from his own hands.

Eren lifts his arm; black, putrid liquid oozing from the cut on his palm and he is surrounded by his pre-shifting sparks. “We both know where she belongs,” says the Founding’s holder.

The ship erupted into a sea of flames and Eren disappeared amidst the blast of a Titan transformation. All Reiner could do is watch helplessly as the grotesque, demonic face of the Attack Titan lunges towards him with its jaw wide open. 

“WAIT!!” His body jolted upwards in a painful awakening. He was out of breath, gasping, yet he felt like he was barely breathing at all. He fumbled with the sheets in his hands, as if looking for the lungs he had somewhat lost in his sleep or the blood he had lost in his nightmare.

“Reiner?” The same tender voice he had heard and had lost in his dreams asked with urgency. Her face held the same palpable expression, a stark contrast to the emotionless face that had been haunting his recurring dreams.

Mikasa, who was calmly sipping a cup of warm tea at the nearby writing table, sprang up on her feet when she heard his sudden voice. She approached the bed in three short strides and settled herself on the edge of the berth with concern on her face. However, instead of reaching out to him, a free hand landed on the crumpled crimson sheets instead. Eyes squinting in uncertainty, she repeated his name once again.

Reiner blinked his eyes several times to make sure that this was not another horrible dream and that this Mikasa would not fade away or perish just like the one he had seen so vividly in his earlier nightmare. He pulled the unsuspecting woman deep into his arms, resting his head on her shoulders.

She’s real. She’s not a dream. She’s real. He assured himself, breathing in relief and finding solace in her warmth.

His hold tightened against her and he sighed gratefully, appreciating the comfort emanating from her body. He missed being engulfed in her softness and he breathed in the sweet soothing scent of her natural fragrance. 

The room stayed silent and still, only for that particular moment, save for the sounds of the thunderstorm unleashing torrents after torrents of heavy raindrops outside. With no signs of the sun amongst the dark clouds, the window panes became heavy with fog and water.

Mikasa, however, refused to have the same incident happen again just like the night before and decided that it was best for her to set a physical boundary between whatever this thing that they have between them. The sting of his deliberate rejection from last night still ached inside her chest.

It was too early for her to have hopes for anything to change so soon for them.

Rather than returning his embrace, she nudged his body away considerately and offered him the cup of warm herbal tea that was still in her hand instead. “The mint tea helps.” She said coldly with an absolute contradiction to the drink she was offering.

Reiner winced, it eventually dawned on him that her feelings were hurt because of his actions last night. He took the cup anyway and downed the whole cup of warm tea in one long swig. He cleared his throat once before saying, “About last night….it wasn’t because of you, it’s me.”

She turned her head sideways, indifferently averting her gaze from him and responded, “Last night has passed. There’s nothing that is worth mentioning. Just forget it.” Especially the part where she was panting shamelessly like a mare in heat.

“Mika-”

“I’m sorry about this.” She cut his words off while she reached out for his military identification that was left hanging on the nearby wooden bedpost and placed them into his unsuspecting hands, exchanging them for the cup. The metal tags were back to their original shapes with no evidence of them to have ever been skewed or bent by her incredible strength. “I have no right to do what I did.”

Reiner shook his head, clutching the dog tags in his palm. Their weight suddenly felt too heavy in his hand thus why he wasted no time in placing it around his neck again. “You have the right to be angry at me.”

Mikasa snapped back, “No, I don’t have the right to be angry FOR you!” There was no mistaking the pools of unshed tears contained by those sad gunmetal orbs.

Reiner’s eyes widened upon the sudden realization. Oh god, he was being foolish, ridiculous and pathetic. “I’m sorry, I’m a worthless ma-”

Her agile hand was quick to clutch the side of his face and shook her head in disagreement. “Stop apologizing”. He would only make the pain she is feeling stung more than it should be. Her eyes closed in weariness, as she felt the beginning of a heavy feeling in her head began to make its presence known again as if foreseeing this to be a daily torturous occurrence in the next several days, weeks and even months.

He’s too damaged, she said to herself.

But she’s damaged too.

She took in another deep breath before reaffirming her stand. “What would it take for you to stop thinking about dying and start thinking about living instead?”. 

Their day had not yet begun but it already felt that she had gone through so much.

“What happened to meeting each other halfway?” she asked, her words burdened by her grievances but it was more to herself than to him. Believing that she was powerless to help make the current situation better, Mikasa decided that they both had to put a stop to this exhausting cycle of blame before it even begins, and before she took her leave, she awkwardly tried to offer her consolation by giving him a friendly pat on his shoulder instead.

Like he was a poor, unfortunate stranger.

 She might as well punch him in the guts.

We both know where she belongs, the same haunting voice taunted Reiner’s broken psyche, further dealing a metaphorical low blow to his conscience. It resonated loudly in his mind that Eren might have been standing next to him in this very room, jeering at the former Armored Titan holder’s pitiful state.

His nightmares should remain as nightmares. Eren made his choice and Mikasa made hers.

Mikasa chose to stay married to him.

Reiner’s hand was swift in grasping the hand that retreated from the sheets, holding her in place as she stood next to the bed. He shifted from the bed and stood behind her, while gathering the courage to wrap an arm around her waist, despite it being rigid due to her earlier dejection yet she never resisted his touch. He rested his head next to hers, his right hand took the earlier cup that was still in her hold and placed it on the bedside table before returning back to the now-empty hand, caressing the ink on her wrist and pulling it closer to his lips.

Her breath hitched when he kissed the inside of her palm, causing her to falter in her speech. “W-what are you doing?”

His response was in a deep breath and a voice that became deeper with a strong desire. “Meeting you halfway….,” There was a pause in his sentence as he ran his lips against the back of her hand, languidly tracing the outline of the Azumabito family symbol on her skin. “-only if this is what you want because I have no right to deny your needs last night.” He wanted to do it right this time but he needed to know that she’d really want the same.

And you have no idea how badly I’ve been wanting you too, he said to himself with a shameless resolve.

“I… “ Her chest heaved with a berating ambivalence. “Don’t think now’s the right time.” It was slightly after dawn, people would have been up and about! Despite her inner conscience resisting, her eyes fluttered nervously and her heart jumped when the coarse hair on his jaw grazed against her skin, igniting a thrill, far more heightened than what she had felt hours before.

The dawn will always be on the horizon and every day is a new beginning.

** // Explicit Scene Alert \\ **

His breath was a taunting, ghostly tingle against her neck. “Just say the word. Everything that I am is yours.”

Like the moon that gave way to the sun, now it seemed that their roles were also reversed from the night before and Mikasa ended up becoming the one who was self-conscious instead.

“Will you have me?” He whispered in her ear, while that agonizing hand of his began to trace the curve of her waist, making slow circles in its path, moving towards the middle of her abdomen, admiring the solid contours of her muscles that could be felt even through the silk shift.

Just like the night before, he couldn’t refrain himself from savoring the feel of silk against the callused skin on his palms, a beguiling sensation to his mind.

“Will you let me touch you?” He ran a finger from his other hand along the strip of skin in between the collars of her night shift, starting from her neck and all the way down her chest, tracing the strings on her chemise very carefully avoiding the two curves of her breasts. Even in between the sounds of a raging shower outside, she could still hear the sound of his low, husky voice flowing into her ears.

She was already struggling with her logic to cite a coherent sentence at that point and he took the opportunity of her losing grip to nibble on her ear, causing her to stutter an excuse - more of a futile attempt to reinforce false propriety than turning down his advance. “Some-....one would be looking for us.”

He turned her head to the side and he murmured into her lips, “It’s still early. We have time…...” and he sealed his words with another kiss while his roaming hand took the liberty to slip in between her shift and into her camisole, cupping an ample mound in his palm, the tip of his finger teasing the already hardened nub of the soft flesh. 

Mikasa pulled herself away from his torturous lips and threw her head back against his shoulder on impulse upon the sudden sensation, eliciting a heavy moan from her already shivering lips, which only served to encourage her lord consort even more with his conquest. His mouth latched on to a spot on her neck, sucking in the supple skin with enough force to leave his own mark.

She turned her body around to face him, trying to make sense of his actions and found herself pressed down against the bed instead, her legs dangling freely over the high mattress. Her eyes reflected the apprehension in its granite shade as she looked up at the tall and powerful stature of a man, conforming to the gallant strength within, whose dominating presence was a far cry from the broken man that she had consoled at night. It made her feel vulnerable, all her fragile strength and defenses crumbled like ashes amongst the morning embers; the second she got lost in the depths of the pools of his golden eyes, she knew she was already in a losing battle when she was supposed to be the one conquering his loyalty in the bedroom. The way those sharp gaze, whose colors reminded her of the beautiful sunrise, fixed into her vision, seeped straight into her core as it shook her like nothing she’s ever felt before. He reinforced that feeling when he stroked the side of her face tenderly, a thumb running along the scar under her right eye - the mark that was indirectly caused by Eren’s titan - worshipping the mark of her imperfection. The person that Eren failed to truly see yet Reiner is seeing it right now; even clearer than ever. 

She lifted her own hand and laced her fingers with his, her eyes closing in, at peace with his touch.

Mikasa’s imperfections are what made her even more desirable to him.

If someone told him five years ago that he would find himself being enraptured with the girl standing next to him on graduation night, he would have laughed himself off at the mere thought. But now, the joke was on him because he does not deserve said girl but the young woman she has grown into believed otherwise.

He pulled on the collar and shoulders of the dark blue yukata he was wearing, letting the fabric fall off in its own volition, hanging down freely around his waist. He then took her hand, guiding it to his own body and beckoning her to grant him her full attention, which she was more than content to comply with the moment her fingertips traced the space between his pectorals -- running along the cold surface of his dog tags and moving down towards his torso, marveling at the solid muscles contained by the taut skin. He had lost a lot of his younger build, his hulking mass when he was a seventeen year old boy but his vigor remained, significant proof that he had never rested from his military duties - just like her. While the ink on her wrist became like a beacon that guides her home in its exploration, caressing his body with a feathery touch. Her curiosity grew towards the dark blonde hair that dusted his abdomen as it led down towards the apex of solidly carved hips, before disappearing into the folds of his draping shift.

Reiner knew he would never change his mind but yet had been somewhat worried that she would because any minute now was like a ticking explosive device in his brain. Thus, he wasted no time in pressing her slender form back on the mattress, pushing aside the top of her yukata, unlacing the front ties of her chemise and claiming her lips once more, her soft cries breathing life back into his empty soul. The reddening tinge on her cheeks only brought out more of the delicious contrast to the pale skin of her now exposed skin; untouched by the sun. The dusky hardened tips of her generous breasts only enticed him more to devour her whole just by observing the way they bounced delicately against his open palms.

He wasted not even a second long, his jaw took in one of the porcelain globes in his mouth, eyes closing in a fervor, tongue lapping greedily at her hardened nub. His inexperienced mouth, only guided by his own instinct, feasted with a newfound realization that it has been starving-- deprived, if you will, of this all of his life. The tugging of her hand on the chain around his neck only served more as a reassurance than a reprimand and he answered her demands by shifting his focus to her other breast, not wanting it to feel left out, soothing the mound he had just suckled with his roughened palm. Her low mewls and moans were the second most beautiful sound he has ever heard after her laugh. God, have mercy on him. 

Who was he to deny her desires this time? 

Resting his weight on his side and next to her eager body, one hand gripped the top of her raven tresses lovingly, growing fond of the way her silky midnight hair felt between his fingers. His other hand began to roam from her breast all the way down across the tight flesh of her belly, admiring the strength and beauty of the sculpted muscles he discovered there. He then tenderly pulled on the ties to her yukata, finally unveiling everything of hers that he’d been dying to see, to touch and to taste yet still hidden behind a pair of soft cream-colored bloomers. He ran his palm, fingers fanning out across the quivering muscles on her abdomen but instead of moving further down to the juncture of her thighs, his large palm grazed across her shapely thigh. His hand slipped through the folds of her night shift, caressing her soft bottom through its lace and silk cover before pulling her to rest on her side, as they lay facing each other on the crimson bed.

He licked his lips with a barely contained anticipation when he saw her luscious lips trembled and her sultry eyes looking at him with a singular fixation; like the same danger he felt all the times when he was her enemy but this time, he wanted to be hunted and be subdued. His face inched closer to hers seemingly moving in for another kiss yet he let his lips hover beyond her reach, only their breaths mingling in the harrowing distance.

Reiner has no ounce of experience when it comes to a lover but as if it has a mind of its own, his hand sneaked into the thin fabric that was still hiding her modesty, his middle and index finger headed straight for the already swollen, plump and soaked opening of her body. The pads of his fingers glided across her drenched slit, fascinated at the wetness coating his digit in return. Her body arched towards him in response, allowing their lips to meet once again in a feverish intensity. He was becoming drunk with the sweetness of her kiss and the feel of the contracting inner muscle around his fingers -- too tight and blazing hot, it was pulling his fingers in with every stroke and pump.

She had always been a woman of a few words, but what she wouldn’t express through words, she conveyed them all through her body language. She was already close to coming apart on the seams with the amazing way his tongue and his fingers are working their conjury on every part of her untouched body.

“Mikasa Ackerman,” he breathed against her lips, his voice heavily-infused with dark and untamed lust, “Will you have me?”

His need for her was getting beyond his reproach and his mind was becoming a chaotic mess as the primal instinct within delivered a signal to his brain that they were ready.

That she was ready for him.

She nodded her answer, reaffirming what her body had been wordlessly desiring out loud.

Swallowing the air that had seemed to be constricted within his throat, his pectorals moved up and down in a raving speed, in sync with his increased breathing and heartbeat. This fear, this uncertainty was not as nerve-wracking as it had felt whenever he was on standby to perform a drop onto a war zone.

No, this was a different kind of battlefield; she was his enemy yet she was also his ally.

Meanwhile, Mikasa, who could barely concentrate due to his fingers, yet braved herself enough to reach out for the ties to his own yukata, pulling them apart with stealth incisiveness, unveiling his manhood, already hardened and standing erected between his powerful thighs. The second it was in her full view, a thought suddenly clicked at the back recesses of her mind.

To be the sheath to his blade.

It was a solid muscle encased within velvety skin, pulsating with life and she could feel its throbbing inside her hand-- that could barely wrap itself around its full girth. Her dainty fingers, nervous as they are, began to explore his length with an awakened curiosity yet with the natural skills of a seasoned blade-wielder through effeminate strokes of her hand as it moved up and down his impressive member. It was hard, too hard that she thought she was hurting him with the way his breath labored heavier than before.

She breathed a whisper, “Am I hurting you?”.

He responded with a hearty laugh and a shook of his head, truly beguiled by her selflessness. “The opposite actually.” 

Reiner heard the downpour landing aggressively against the window panes and noticed that the temperature outside had dropped lower than before, as opposed to the growing warmth within. Granted that the satin sheets are cold, he was very glad he could keep her warm even when they both had discarded almost every clothing they had on.

Albeit preempted, Mikasa was not prepared for this but she believed that for a virile young man, he must have had his fair share of experiences in the past years. In spite of that, she would truthfully rely on his lead to wherever he would take her.

He somehow understood her worries and to reassure her, he guided her hand, coaxing her thumb to touch the tip of his member, already leaking with his own natural lubricant. It felt slippery and slick to her touch but she was enthralled regardless.

He proceeded to slip his left hand, the one that was entangled with her hair, downwards so she could rest her head comfortably against his upper arm. Her right hand hooked itself around his neck, the ends of her fingertips toying with the metal chain she found there. Meanwhile, his other hand crept up the smooth expanse of her thigh and slipped a thumb in between the malleable lace of the full brief, earning a shy moan from her lips. He watched in amazement towards the unblemished skin as they tingled with tiny goosebumps when the fabric peeled away from her skin ever so wickedly slowly, unearthing the most sacred part of her body to his desiring eyes, leaving him breathless from the first look.

He then lifted her left leg and let it rest against his hips as his own right leg wedged between hers before she could close them together in a defensive reflex. He reveled in the way the strong muscles of her thigh draped over his body. He took the hand that was holding his member and settled it against his chest, indirectly preparing her for the inevitable.

Reiner has never been here nor in this position before, but he knew there was no other place he’d rather be. He ran his hand against her bare back, the side of her breast and seizing her face once again.

Sinful, amber eyes with a steely gaze fixed into her alluring granite irises. “Whatever happens, I will never let you go.” That was a promise he has never made to anyone nor did he ever allow himself to make to anyone in his life before.

With his hand on her lower hips, he guided his member towards her, the hard muscle ground against her core. He absolutely loved the way her drenched opening felt against his tip; warm and welcoming. He then pressed his hips forward and with one smooth thrust, his member entered her core in a swift glide despite the tightness he initially encountered. Her natural wetness eased his passage deep within until he felt he could no longer press forward and he stood still mid-thrust, giving her inner walls time to adjust to his size.

He released the breath he never realized he’d been holding.

His blade had finally found its way home inside her sheath.

At this point, their breathing and their heartbeats began to accelerate despite their movements being at a standstill. Reiner, once again, caught her lips in a searing kiss before whispering underneath his breath, “I’ll never let you go”.

“I know……” She wrapped both of her hands around his neck, her legs pulling his hips even closer to hers, wanting more of what he was giving to her yet didn’t want to appear too forward. She began to feel the metaphorical knot inside her belly unfolding as the initial pain of the unknown turned into a pleasant thrill. Inhaling his natural scent mixed with the smell of rain permeating through the air, her body subconsciously moved by raw instinct, seeking an avenue to fulfill a new hunger within. Her inner walls throbbed once and then twice before they clenched tightly around his member, beckoning him to continue his thrusts lest she would break in frustration. Her body left more in wanting, unfulfilled.

With a renewed sense of vigor, Reiner withdrew his member out, only to plunge it even harder into her core, groaning when their hips finally met upon impact and harnessing the slickness of where they were fused to amplify the delicious friction in between. There were no words needed to convey their innermost desires and the carnal impulses they both had to repress due to the harsh expectations of their military life. The magnitude and the tension existing there -- it was even more substantial compared to when they were trying to kill each other years before back in Shinganshina. They were both predators and prey at the same time, dangerously devouring each other through clashing lips and conjoined bodies as their weapons and this crimson-covered bed, their battlefield where losing or winning was never an option. This was more than a willing consummation of the unwilling vows they have made in public. This was escaping the clutches of their past sins, guilt and dark memories.

In Paradis and Liberio, they fought because their loved ones' lives depended on it. On this bed, they are fucking like their own life and their sanity depended on it.

The increasing rhythm of their bodies, the sounds of their limbs meshing together, the creaking of the bed, the chiming of clashing metal tags and the low, guttural moans and hot and heavy gasping of their coupling made up the most sensuous harmony as they resonated against the wooden walls of the chamber, accompanied by the sound of the steady rain. The beads of sweat dripping down their entangled limbs and bodies were no different than the rainwater drizzling down the foggy window panes as they both seek solace and comfort inside their private sanctuary - saturated with boiling, blinding and fierce rutting.

The grip on her back and derriere from Reiner’s unyielding hands became so strong that her skin might have broken from sheer pressure, but the pleasure exceeded all the other sensations, even more so when he painted the top of her breasts using his lips, leaving behind evidence only for his eyes to see. Her hand never ceased its grasp on the metal chain, desperately clinging as she rode the highs of an increasing ecstasy.

Too lost in their growing rapture, none of them had heard the knocking on the chamber door. Whoever was on the other side was getting very impatient as the knocks grew louder.

The former titan shifter could feel that he was reaching his peak as his thrusts became too hot, too fast and too much, even for someone who had once wielded transcendental powers. Despite his well-honed endurance, he knew he couldn’t hold himself back when the sturdy muscle of his member pulled taut, releasing a rushed wave of white hot seed into the furthest, deepest part of his younger bride’s delicate body which triggered her own sweet, merciful release. Her exhilaration manifested in the way her lips gaped open, her arms clutching his head tight against her glistening breasts and her quenchless inner walls milking every drop of essence he ever had to offer in his body. Spent, his strength abandoned its vessel and he came undone in her arms with a loud grunt.

“Reiner, I heard you! Don’t pretend that you're still asleep!” Came the energetic voice from the other side of the rather fortunately locked door. “Are you ignoring me?”

Fuck.

Reiner looked at the flushing physique of the young woman underneath him, who also happened to realize that his little cousin was at the door. A hint of a smile on her blushing face only made her even more irresistible in his eyes.

He raised his voice slightly, hoping that his cousin would just give up. “Gabi, it’s too early!”

“Is Mikasa still sleeping?”

“Yes.”

“Liar. She doesn’t sleep after dawn.”

Crap.

“I’m coming in!” The door was thrown open immediately.

“GABI, NO!!”

On that day, Reiner and Mikasa both received a grim reminder that they should ALWAYS, ALWAYS lock their bloody door.

A/N: Before you guys throw your pitchforks at me for the chapter’s end that is like ‘eh?’ Let’s face it, Mikasa is Gabi’s favorite person now hehe Sorry if the smut was very graphic though, I was on a roll lmao

I’m really enjoying the process of laying down the groundwork for our newlyweds so far. I want to explore how these two hot-blooded young adults would manage their newly-discovered lust for each other especially in front of the others. They’re young, they’re in a honeymoon mood that was delayed. Do expect a lot more sexy times in the near future from now on. Hints: I’ve been having steamy inspirations for Reiner & Mikasa’s dynamic based on the MV of Close by Nick Jonas & Tove Lo hehe The tugging, pulling and the ripping of clothes oh yeah.

If you love this chapter, please do leave a comment below BUT if you’re super shy and don’t feel as inspired to write any words, you can also leave a *gif as a response, so either way, your comments are always welcomed! Here’s a tutorial on how you can insert a gif in your comments if that helps ;) Thank you so much in advance!

Next chapter preview: 

He began to see the beauty of life through her eyes but the appearance of a long-forgotten face would sooner threaten what hasn’t even begun.

Chapter Text

A/N: Before we start with this fic, everyone, (**manga spoilers warning) let us dedicate a moment of thought and remembrance towards the fourteenth Commander of the Survey Corps, Hange Zoe. You will always live inside our hearts, forever and for always. We love you & we will miss you so much, Hange. Rest, my dear Commander. You’ve done well. Just wished Pieck would have given you a piggyback ride on her titan :\ Everything hurts with 132 and I am not okay. 

Only in As You Are’s universe, I will continue to breathe life into you, Commander Shadis, Commander Magath, Porco Galliard and Colt Grice.

----

A huge shout-out to my darling readers, especially viseniia, Levi_Is_Heicho, synsible, Cecilia, Azul, ZethAmsel, runicrunes, Sarah, mikasaazumabitoqueen, Blomster78 & philautian for leaving beautiful comments on the previous chapter. You guys are my own superstars! I love you guys <3 I also love the gifs you guys shared. They’re so cute <3 Thank you!

Also another thing, one of my dear readers, Sarah, was the one who reminded me of this on my Tumblr weeks ago:

Thank you so much for your ongoing support, y’all. I apologize that AYA is still ongoing but there’s still a long story and adventure in store for our beloved couple. I live to write more drama and heartbreak for these two beautiful fictional people. Please stay and continue to share your beautiful feelings for Reiner, Mikasa and As You Are’s universe.

I hope you guys love how our newlyweds have consummated their marriage in the previous chapter. In the first 2 or 3 chapters, I did mention to a commenter that the smut would somewhat take place by ch.10 & it did ;) Although I have also received some concerns that they’re both moving too fast for a couple who are just wedded in a political arrangement; well, they’re technically old friends who are getting reacquainted. Rebound? Not quite likely but it’s purely political + physical at this point. Things are going to get more complicated, without a doubt. (At least, for Reiner, I think he’s always seen Mikasa as an attractive young girl since they were trainees, and yes, Mikasa’s canon preferences is just Eren, lol, I still feel she could have at least respected some admirable qualities in Reiner ever since they were younger.)

Before we move forward with this chapter, I would love to share my deepest appreciation to the wonderful people who have added this story into their favorite list by pressing the bookmark button - hara_horo, Quietcelt, pieckaboo, HeirofLudwig, runicrunes, AlexChi, raeraet, RikkudoSennin, regin4, A_Fellow_Warrior, Levi_Is_Heicho, lady_madland, MagicalReaderGirl1, HiroSatoshi580, XenaScafi, shadowhunter456, Changminia, Lucyfire & philautian. I can never appreciate you all enough for the kindness & interest but I can only keep on writing this story to the very end as my thank you.

I am very sorry for not being able to stay active in writing (and replying to your Asks or DMs on Tumblr) as real life’s been extremely demanding of my free time, energy and commitments. I wish I was on a vacation instead of in the middle of a global pandemic. I’m very fortunate that I’ve been able to work from home since the middle of March but with schools being closed, if I’m not working, I’ll be spending time with my son while doing housework at the same time. Like I never went out of the house and I thought I’d at least have more free time to write but that was a lie orz To the readers of AYA who I’ve unintentionally ghosted, I am truly sorry!

I hope this chapter makes up for the absence during the last five months. Happy reading! Do share your thoughts or favorite moments in the comments section below. As always, I am looking forward to receiving your feedback, comments, gifs and awesome love. They gave me endless happiness! :)

Also, a joyful warning: GRAPHIC SMUT AHEAD. All with the help of this beautiful muse: Unfold by Alina Baraz & Galimatias . CAUTION: ultra-long chapter ahead, ahoy!

As You Are

Chapter Twelve

Watch Me Unfold

“Don’t fear change. The surprise is the only way to new discoveries. Be playful!”

Gordana Biernat.

Amatsukaze en route to Marley

Main Seas

The dining hall fell into an immediate silence the moment she stepped into the decorated area, with Gabi’s eyes glued on her figure and a stupefied expression on her innocent doe-like face. A tiny pang of guilt tugged at the bottom of Mikasa’s heart, upon remembering the images that surged through her memories in a split second, replaying the almost unfortunate incident that happened back in their private chambers earlier, which would have mentally scarred the young girl inappropriately, if it wasn’t for her swift agility. She was very, very close in throwing Reiner into the bathroom or worse, under the bed, since the window was not a viable option. 

“Miss Gabi, wait, please! Lady Mikasa-” Helplessly, Akane tried to grab the little girl’s shoulders to no avail, as the latter was already barging through the wooden door without any hesitation.

Gabi’s mouth gaped open, eyes widened like a koi out of the water upon the vision greeting her sudden intrusion -- her older cousin on top of Miss Ackerman amidst the crumpled crimson sheets and disheveled state of clothing. The muscles on Reiner’s hands could be seen straining as he seemed to be holding back his own weight from crashing down on Mikasa’s more slender form, who was trying to hide her reddening face within the folds of Reiner’s parted robe. Even her older cousin himself is having difficulty looking up at the two early guests directly in their eyes.

The little girl squeaked, “Reiner! What are you doing? Are you hurting Mikasa?”

Wait, what?

Reiner bit the insides of his cheeks to prevent himself from breaking into an unwarranted chuckle, but he produced a grunt instead when his bride poked him too hard using her elbow.

Apparently, the impact of her touch vibrated through his abdomen, quivering down the rest of his lower body, which apparently was still conjoined with his blushing new wife. She could feel the same vibrations too and Mikasa had to bite her lower lips in her own struggle to hold down an unsavory moan herself, lest she would make a big fool out of herself despite the teasing sensation against the more sensitive parts inside her. Still winding down from the aftermath of her first ever release.

Thank God their modesty was still hidden between the bunched up satins and intertwined limbs.

“Of course not, Gabi.” Reiner shook his head in response, trying to maneuver their way out of a rather potentially embarrassing situation. He looked down at the woman underneath him and asked, “Am I hurting you, Mikasa?”

All while she could feel the twitching muscles of his softening member from within, sending a short burst of shivers up her spine, threatening to trigger another post-orgasmic reaction from before.

Her pathetic lips could only utter a small ‘no’. 

The corners of the young lord’s lips curved upwards into a devious smirk. “We had a minor ‘disagreement’ earlier but we resolved it ‘amicably’ and we could really use more time to ‘gather our bearings’ and get ready for the day,” explained Reiner in a cryptic nature that could only be deciphered by a young adult, which, thankfully, were picked up on by Mikasa’s handmaiden.

“Huh?” A confused Gabi shook her head, trying so hard to comprehend information that she would only succeed to understand in the next seven or eight years. Fifteen, if it was up to Reiner.

“You guys were sparring?”

Reiner nodded, agreeing with another one of Gabi’s immaculate misconceptions. “Yes, Gabi. We were ‘sparring’.” ‘With almost nothing on’, emphasized the dark, inner voice that only he could hear.

Akane nodded diligently as she assessed the situation. The daughter of the Azumabito’s household matron was very quick on her feet as she bowed down hastily, preparing to take her leave with Gabi. She would carry that little girl under her arms if she had to.

The future of their empire is at stake.

“Let’s wait for Lord Reiner and the Lady Mikasa in the dining room, Ms. Gabi.”

“But--”

Akane tapped her chin lightly with a finger before good-naturedly suggesting, “Oh, I just remembered! I’ve left some peaches and cream pie baking in the oven. Just like the one you said your mother used to make for you back home.”

“Can’t I wait here for Mikasa?”

“Alright but I promised young Mr. Grice a big piece of the pie before breakfast since he’s helping me to set up the table right now.” 

At the mention of Falco’s name, Gabi’s cheeks puffed in annoyance. “Not fair, Akane. You never asked me for help! I am so much better than Falco in everything.” The little girl lost the battle against her own stubbornness and competitive streak before kicking her legs in stride towards the dining hall. There’s no way she would lose to Falco!

The young Hizuru maiden bowed down to excuse herself, respectfully averting her gaze to ease her lord and lady’s situation. “I truly apologize for my carelessness, milord, milady. Please take your time. I’ll make sure this chamber remains undisturbed for the whole day.”

Gripping the front of her own yukata tightly within her grasp, Mikasa shook her head. “There’s no need for the trouble, Akane. I--we’ll be there shortly.”

As soon as the retreating figure disappeared and the click of the closed-door could be heard, Mikasa tried to push against the much heavier figure of the Marley War Chief. “We should get cleaned up.” She pushed slightly harder, yet he did not even budge an inch. As if she had never even touched him at all.

Odd….. The afterthought became lost in the myriad of haunting assaults that came from the tip of his nose, the warmth of his breath and the tingles ignited by the light yet coarse flaxen hair framing his chiseled jaw.

Reiner nuzzled lazily at the spot below her ear, admiring the prickling tiny goosebumps adorning the pale porcelain skin there and whispered an unhurried response in return. “Stay in bed for a little while?”

A small sigh escaped her lips the moment she felt the edges of his teeth seizing her skin, gnawing playfully on the tiny pulse he discovered there. Her already erratic pulse jolted in retaliation. “You have a fleet to run.” Her protest was as feeble as a loose feather in the tranquil morning breeze, floating freely to where the wind blows -- truly living in the moment.

“I have help. Right now, my main duty is here.” His unrelenting mouth ghosted sinfully warm kisses, thin lips grazing against milky skin, starting from her collarbone and leading all the way down towards the valley of her breasts, still damped and flushed from their mid-coital exertions.

He could really get used to this.

Dutiful after all was his middle name.

Like a wildebeest’s hunger that was finally satiated after a thousand years of starvation, yet the aftertaste of a damn fine meal only stoked the burning desire to have it more and more. And again. The low grunt from his throat only served to give away this newfound greed of his. 

“Reiner?” A breath’s distance in between, her voice was a beautiful melody calling out for his name, her tongue emphasizing on each syllable, beckoning its given meaning - a strong, blessed Judgment Warrior. 

“Hmm?” Despite her coaxing, he didn’t even look up from his torturous pursuit. He wanted to savor the taste of her, so much so that he could store her warmth and very being inside his memory. He wanted this moment to completely replace all of the haunting visions of her that he had in the darkest corner of his brain, almost succeeding in taking his final breath away years ago. He didn’t want to remember the rage and desperation he had once seen in her eyes for him.

He wanted her to always look at him the way she is right now.

Tender. Compassionate. Merciful.

Yet today, she took his breath away so effortlessly and he found himself wanting to offer all that he has - even his last.

Mikasa’s voice became a note higher than before, threatening to shatter the heaven he had built for her in his secret headspace. She knew he was trying to push her patience to a new limit, which, sadly would not be possible if she could help it. “Pull out. Please. I need to shower. Again.” No, she certainly wasn’t begging. The demure, innocent smile on her shy face was betrayed by the stern words and the firm tone of her voice. As he looked down, the beautiful afterglow only accentuated her radiance even in the naturally lit room. No thunderstorms or stormy seas could steal nor break this shared moment between them.

Reiner remained still, the pads of his fingertips gently pushed the silken tendrils resting on her forehead to the sides of her face, observing the way her thick eyelashes fanning against the top of her cheeks. He placed a languid soft peck on the spot in between her eyes, leaving behind his warmth that seemed to have seeped into her skin. He reluctantly propped himself up on his elbows but not before his long, thin fingers helped her with the ties to her own yukata and eventually, allowing her the space to prepare for the day that lies in waiting.

And the duties that came along with it.

He wanted to prolong this secret illusion of paradise that he had discovered through every inch of her body but alas their reality and responsibilities awaited them on the other side of this chamber. He would indeed be counting and dreading each second of the day when he would finally have her in his arms again.

Taking advantage of his personal musing, Mikasa pushed herself up from the bed, taking her warmth along with her scent and the apparent evidence of an innocence loss - in the form of smeared dark red stain on the glossy satin, its existence only being highlighted more by the surrounding combination of translucent bodily essences secreted by their carnal consummation.

A deep feeling, one akin to guilt and not regret, immediately manifested itself, weighing heavily against the pit of his stomach as well as his own conscience. He mulled over the newly-discovered information, seemingly unable to decipher its impact or the appropriate way to feel about it.

She was still an untouched maiden until this morning.

Too close to losing another internal battle with his own thoughts once again, Reiner had almost missed the way his new bride’s eyes were peering at him from behind the wooden door of the chamber’s bathroom.

Did she need something?

He received the wordless answer the moment she disappeared behind the open door and her yukata, already discarded behind her without any apprehension and abandoned freely on the chamber’s floor. He swallowed a huge figurative knot in his throat and realized that he’d ceased breathing for far, far too long.

She held his life in her hands and that was the only resolve needed for his legs to move out of its own accord, overriding the importance of everything else in this whole world and strode across the old Captain's cabin in three long, rushed steps.

His own robe became undone and inevitably met its other half on the cold wooden surface.

The ethereal vision that greeted his eyes upon entry should be that of one of the forbidden sins in the history of humankind. She was even more breathtakingly beautiful in her purest form - scars and marks, imperfections and all.

Like the cracks on an unbreakable golden chalice.

He was the luckiest son of a gun to be the first to drink from said chalice and it made the wine tasted even sweeter. He could get drunk or get high on this woman for all eternity.

He always had a gut feeling that Mikasa Ackerman would be the death of him. One way or another.

Colt stood up from his seat at the dining table to pull a seat for Mikasa, much to her slight perplexity, presented in the way Mikasa almost forgot to thank the older Grice brother with his help. He was a gentleman that came from a fine upbringing without a doubt. Respectful and somewhat friendly in nature based on her observations since they were formally introduced to each other a little bit before they were thrust into the battlefield back in Paradis. She would have made a genuine friend amongst her enemies if Falco’s brother had also been at the wedding.

She also noticed the way the same young man was looking shyly at her handmaiden, who was diligently preparing a plate of breakfast and fresh herbal tea for the newcomers. It wasn’t too long before Reiner joined in the morning party, bidding the younger ones a ‘good morning’ with a rather unusually uplifting zest. Even Colt swore he’d seen a tiny blink-and-you-miss bounce in his immediate superior’s steps. The same look from Falco seemed to confirm that it wasn’t just his imagination. Yet it was quite a welcomed change from the sullen, reserved man they had known in Marley for the past four years.

“Good morning Warchief Braun.” Both the Grice brothers responded to the older man’s greetings with jovial smiles plastered on their happy faces as he took the dining chair at the head of the table. At the back recesses of Reiner’s mind, it truly felt as if he was already home with his family as the bonds between them had become much closer than before. He really couldn’t remember the last time he had ever enjoyed having a family meal together.

As they break their fast together, the boys had been engrossed in a conversation pertaining to their hometown just like the night before. The only difference had been the sole non-participating member of their small makeshift brood, the only girl. She was more content in prodding the baked potatoes and gravy on her plate instead. Her silence, however, was not able to escape the sharp observation of the older woman without notice.

“Gabi, is everything alright?,” asked Reiner upon noticing her withdrawal from the group’s conversation. She, who was once the chatterbox of the Braun family seemed to be quite the opposite from the day before.

The little girl nodded weakly instead.

“I know we’re not used to talking about personal feelings in our family, but...things are different now. I hope we can be more open with each other, Gabi.” Reiner tried to offer a better explanation, completely unaware that Mikasa was already a step ahead of him the night before.

Before Reiner could press his baby cousin to open herself up more, a hand rested against his own, stopping his words before they could even be said. It belonged to none other than his own wife.

“I….”, remarked the little girl hesitantly, “Okay, if you want me to be honest with my feelings then, I will say it.” There was a slight pause as everyone present at the dining table stopped savoring their first meal of the day to show their silent support.

“Reiner, I don’t feel too happy to know that you’re hurting Mikasa earlier.”

WHAT.

Gabi expressed her disappointment towards her own cousin. “You can’t hide the marks on her neck, Reiner. It’s obvious to everyone here. Mikasa is like a big sister to me. I don’t want her to get hurt, not even by you.”

“Gabi….” Mikasa understood the girl’s concerns but there was no cause for alarms, even more so from the bedside conversation they had just the night before.

Reiner on the other hand was already cradling the side of his head with slight nervousness as he could foresee the direction of their morning conversation. The squirmish looks from Falco and the concerned look on his older brother’s face didn’t help make things better. “I did not hurt Mikasa, not in that way, I can assure you.” His answer only made Gabi’s face scrunched up in uneasiness. “I mean, I would never ever place Mikasa in a position she’s not comfortable in, Gabi…”

Really, Reiner? That makes it even worse. Mikasa bit her lower lips to prevent a blossoming smile at the rather difficult albeit comical way Reiner was trying to give his younger cousin ‘the talk’.

At least, it wasn’t extremely embarrassing as it had been for her with Shiori-han.

Mikasa cleared her throat, before offering her own explanation. “Gabi, do you remember what we talked about last night?”

Gabi replied hesitantly, trying to recall their conversation from the night before. “Yes….”

“I said we might need time to- you know….” Mikasa tilted her head gently to her right hand side, particularly in Reiner’s direction. The latter remained calm despite the rather intricate issue at hand. “....because we needed to learn to trust each other again after all that has happened between Paradis and Marley.”

“Okay….” The twelve-year-old girl’s eyes blinked in further confusion as she tried to comprehend the explanation following suit.

“We talked….a lot since last night. One thing leads to another and it just happened.”

“You mean, you resolve your problems by sparring this morning? Like we do in training?” inquired the little girl again, her curiosity piqued.

Reiner began to toss uncomfortably in his seat, even more so when he noticed Falco’s innocent gaze was now darting awkwardly between the other three people at the dining table. He’d never expected to have this sort of conversation with Gabi. She’s supposed to have it with her own mother.

“Sort of…..” Reiner’s words trailed on, unfinished. He’d just wished for Gabi to slowly change the topic. Colt, being the other young adult in the room, took heed of the predicament his superior was in and tried to change the course of the conversation, partly because his own younger brother was also not ready to have the ‘talk’ yet.

“The-the weather seems to be looking better now,” said the oldest Warrior trainee, who was almost completely invisible to the younger girl as she continued to ask the Hizuru princess with another question.

“But, Mikasa--”

Mikasa was very quick in diverting the younger girl’s attention. “Do you know, when we were younger, Reiner and I used to be sparring partners during training.”

Gabi’s ear perked up upon the discovery of the new information. “Really? Like Falco and me?”

Reiner nodded, simpering at the sudden walk down old memory lane. “She used to throw me across the training yard like I’m no more than a sack of potatoes. I swear if things were different back at that time, I would have asked her out on a date myself. Heh, she had my attention on the very first ass-kicking.”

The Marleyan girl broke into laughter while the boys just stared at the Hizuru heiress in amazement.

“She still is, the strongest person I’ve ever met”, added Reiner, with nothing short of admiration in his voice and a shy look at the raven-haired woman’s way.

“But,” Gabi’s confusion became more apparent. “What does sparring have to do with babies? You said last night that babies take time.”

Reiner looked at Mikasa, who was surprisingly unbothered, nervously.

The young noble's eyes squinted in uncertainty. “Has anyone ever talked to you about how babies came to be?”

Colt, who was nervously chewing on his own food, swallowed by accident and almost choked, prompting Falco to pat his brother’s back none too gently as Akane ran to offer a much-needed glass of water to the young man. 

Gabi shook her tiny head, lips pouted in uncertainty. “No. I just thought that everyone who got married will have a baby immediately.”

“Gabi, sparring for adults is a bit more different. We ‘sparred’ to get to know each other better as husband and wife.” Mikasa, who was calmly nursing the hot herbal tea inside her cup, offered a rather vague yet simplified explanation of human procreation to Reiner’s innocent cousin. “We’ll take a walk outside and will chat more about this later. I’ll answer any questions you have. Is that alright?”

The little girl nodded. A smile returned to her face, causing Reiner to speak to his wife in a hushed whisper. “She’s too young to know about this, Mikasa. I don’t believe it’s even our place to talk to her about it.”

Mikasa’s rebuttal came back to signify the end of their discussion. “She’s too young to be in the military, too young to have blood in her hands and yet here we are.”

Well, she’s got a valid point.

He nodded in agreement even if he did not fully support the notion that Mikasa believes in - Gabi is ready to know about the more complex nature of adult relationships. It was so easy to disagree and argue about it but he learned that despite the short duration of the two girls knowing each other, Reiner should never underestimate the bond Mikasa has established with his own cousin. Gabi, being the only child, had always been the only girl among his cousins. Mayhap Mikasa couldn’t be the more perfect person for Gabi to have that very delicate conversation with.

The moment the day broke into noon, the skies gradually became a beautiful azure from the mundane gray once again. The sounds of the Hizuru naval crew’s hustle and bustle could be heard all over the ship’s deck after a long overdue silence. The diligent men under Lord Takeshi’s command seemed to have doubled up on their pace, to make up for the temporary delay caused by the previous storm that subsided only the next hour after the crew’s early lunchtime. Despite the weather halting the ship’s movement, Amatsukaze once again proved that it was not dubbed ‘the mightiest and fastest sword of the sea’ for nothing as it traversed through the now clear, blue waters of the ocean.

Later that afternoon, a recent message that came through the morse code transmission became the primary topic of discussion amongst the fleet leaders with the new Lord of Hizuru and their Princess. Colt Grice, the young Warrior Trainee from Marley was also in presence. From inside the war room, Lord Takeshi began to report the recent rebuilding updates received from the Hizuru’s main base in Liberio, to his immediate superior who had been listening intently. “Hundred relief camps have been set-up to shelter the survivors who lost their homes. The resources are all in place however, until the wreckages have been completely cleared, the foundation works could not be started.”

A frown marred his face, as stress lines made themselves evident on his forehead, distraught upon hearing the latest news from Lord Takeshi. “But winter is only less than two months away. These people can’t remain in the makeshift camps in that extreme weather conditions.”

“We only have one functional crane that was flown in from Odiha and we have to remain cautious not to overwork the machine until it breaks down, my Lord. At the moment, our team is experiencing a temporary hold-up because of the shortage of manpower. Even our soldiers are moonlighting as builders to support the clean-up process.”

The young Lord of Hizuru tapped the gold-trimmed pen in his hand impatiently against the paper he was reading. “What is the projected timeline for the new building’s completion, Lord Takeshi?”

His right-hand man shook his head. “We’re falling behind schedule, my Lord. Even if all of our builders worked without rest, which is inhumanly possible, we still won’t be able to put a sturdy roof over the survivors’ heads in time without a miracle.”

He ran his hand through his already tousled blonde hair in agitation. He’s not very pleased to learn of the setback and shook his head. “We have to at least, try, don’t we?.”

“You can’t overwork our builders and soldiers, Reiner. Those who are doing double duties are doing it out of their own compassion. We shouldn’t take their efforts for granted,” pressed Mikasa, trying to persuade a different suggestion to the newly-mandated leader of their nation.

The Marleyan Warchief argued back, “My people, what’s left of them will die if we don’t get the relief center completed in time.”

“I agree and all I’m saying is that my people are also working really hard and doing their very best to make sure your people survive.”

His amber eyes bore deep into her own granite orbs. “Which one are you referring to, Mikasa? The ones from Hizuru or the ones who caused all the destruction in the first place?”

Fuck. He did not just say that.

Poor Colt was cowering in his own place at the table. He had a gut feeling that there was more than one unresolved issue between his superior and the Lady Ackerman since the Gabi ‘incident’ earlier this morning.

The existing tension between the two newlyweds has escalated into an alarming point, to which the other fleet leaders were taken aback with the sudden shift of the atmosphere and by which manner the Lord of Hizuru had made an underhanded remark towards their Princess. The more elderly attendees of the meeting began to fidget nervously in their seats. The five of them, not including Lord Takeshi were from an older generation, yet in spite all that remained silent in respect to their new Lord’s authority. Lord Takeshi was not from the same generation who believes that respect is given to position and not rightfully earned. Their Lord was not entirely wrong for his commitment to the Eldians in Liberio. The animosity there would not just disappear over the course of several days, months or years even. Nonetheless, their Princess deserves to be present and heard as well. From the day Lady Mikasa Ackerman returned home from Paradis, Lord Takeshi was very aware that she was different from the royal princesses in the ruling family’s history. 

“My Lord, we understand your frustration at this sudden hiccup in our plans but the Lady Mikasa does not view your people's importance any lesser than she does to our people. We are still working towards the same goals, this is but the first of many more challenges we have to face. We can’t let our past differences affect the decision-making for our present and future.”

The ensuing silence was as uncomfortable as it could possibly be and the heavy tension was solid enough that you could possibly cut it with a blade if it was capable of materializing into the space existing between the newlyweds - both literally and figuratively.

Mikasa, however, took the higher route like she always does with all the male figures in her life and instead of withdrawing, her right hand shot up towards the back of Reiner’s neck, easing the tense muscles she knew would be there. The hands that were still clutching the paperwork with enough force to destroy the whole documents apart began to gradually loosen its grip. “I understand your frustration, but being angry about things right now is not going to expedite things, isn’t it?” She asked back, trying to gauge his level of emotional control.

She knew his nape would be his ultimate weakness - a fact that was discovered only that morning itself to which she was more than delighted to use to her advantage.

The former shifter released the papers in his grip and sent a regretful look towards his bride, apologizing for his earlier outburst. “I’m sorry, I should never have said what I’ve said earlier. It was uncalled for.”

“I know.” Mikasa agreed nevertheless with a relieved smile that matched his own upon the potential crisis’ aversion.

Reiner took the hand that was soothing the stress veins around the column of his neck and rubbed them gently with his own. “Forgive me?”

Still smiling gently, Mikasa nodded quietly in return.

The private interchange between the newlyweds and the intimate body language involved did not escape the observation of those in attendance, prompting knowing looks from the other senior officers in the war room. They were not oblivious to a different kind of tension brewing between the Princess and the young Lord.

They were all newlyweds once.

Their Princess had been trained well by Lady Kiyomi without a doubt. Their new Lord’s loyalty was no longer a question they should be concerned about not when it only took a touch of the princess's hand to appease the young hot-blooded Lord’s impending frustration. Even more so when said Lord was once a feared Eldian Titan shifter.

Maybe the rumored legend that was told decades before - the Ackermans were the man-made Achilles heel to Titan shifters, the failsafe to keep the titan shifters in check - was not just ramblings of a madman.

“Are there any more vital updates from Liberio?” asked Reiner, having regained his composure and reverting back to their original topic of discussion.

Lord Takeshi nodded, “Yes, but, we can only offer more concrete information in person once we have regrouped with our team in Liberio tomorrow.”

Unbeknownst to the young couple, Lord Takeshi had been discreetly signaling to his senior officers to give the couple the much-needed space and privacy before the real work that awaits them begins. “Pardon us, your Highnesses. We believe that it’s best if we adjourn our meeting today until we have docked. May Izanagi and Izayami ease our journey safely. Lord Reiner, Ohime-sama, may we be excused first?”

The blonde-haired young military veteran nodded his approval and watched as Lord Takeshi, along with the rest of the fleet veterans dragged the clueless Colt away with them with the guise of an impromptu naval training just so they could leave the war room quickly, much to the young lad’s puzzlement.

Mikasa only stared at the group of gentlemen in disbelief while Reiner only grinned in return, even more so when he noticed the way his wife was trying to avoid his gaze as she too, stood up from her seat seemingly trying to exit the room herself. He immediately caught her wrist in his grip once again, playfully reprimanding her for leaving without his consent.

“And, where do you think you’re going, your Highness?”

** // Explicit Scene Alert \\ **

Cover my thoughts in gold

I'm your flower watch me unfold

My vulnerability, letting you consume me

The parts of me the eyes can't see

They're glowing underneath

Picking off the petals

I'll let you if you're gentle

Her instant reaction was to pull her hand back, hoping to somewhat jerk his body off the designated captain’s chair but instead, the tiny action backfired as she was the one who ended up falling towards his direction instead.

Her place of landing? Very specifically in between his thighs. Of all the places.

“Reiner…..” She protested lightly, attempting to stand up but his arms were very quick to wrap themselves around her waist, holding her down and close to him with no spared space in between. Instead of pushing forward, she tried to wriggle her way out of his hold by pressing inwards with all of her strength, which seemed to be nonexistent at that particular point in time. She shook her head, mystified by the new discovery. Completely mindful that her efforts of escaping only stirred her lord husband’s physical appetite awake once more.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as he picked up the instantaneous way her body became rigid, assuming that he was the cause of her discomfort. He loosened the iron grip he had around her waist and waited patiently for her answer. Yet, he only received another wordless shake of her head in return.

He turned her body to the side, so he could look into her eyes but he can’t seem to stray away from her beautiful kissable lips. She drew in a long, deep breath when his left hand snuck under the hem of her white button-ups, the tips of his digits playing with the tiny curvature of her navel right below the end of her abdominal line. “Rei..-” Her words trailed before stopping short of the first sonant of his name, the minute his mouth latched on to the spot underneath her left ear, her hands gripped against the muscles and the veins straining underneath the skin on his triceps in reflex. The ensuing whisper from his wicked lips did its terrific job in breaking down her first guard. “I did say that I would never, ever place you in a position that you’re uncomfortable in. I really mean it.” The double entendre in his pledge was not missed or overlooked in between the sensual assault that he had surprisingly mastered in such a short time of knowing the way her body works - as if he had known her his whole life.

After a gentle coaxing, his lips finally found its counterpart as his nose picked up the haunting tease of her natural scent - soft, clean and warm like fresh linen in the sun. Like an ignition, he’d only need to feel her lips on his to rev up his biological engine.

She could feel his hunger through the urgency in his kiss the same way she did this morning.

On the bed.

As he undid the strings of her flimsy chemise, revealing the parts of her he had never ever seen for the first time.

In the shower.

The way he ran his lips against the irezumi on her back, drawing a cross with his tongue like a sacred offering, lapping up the water drizzling down her skin like the nectar of an exotic flower. Right before he filled the impure void within through one messy yet solid thrust into her, clinging to her lithe body from behind as they fell into a familiar rhythm not too long after.

While Reiner could sense her burning desire from the way she grasped against the tendrils of his hair in utter desperation, her derriere grinding dangerously on his semi-hardened member. Separated only by two layers of clothing in between yet the scorching heat could still be permeating through regardless.

She gasped, mildly stunned upon sensing the bulge stretching against the crisp fabric of his breeches, hugging his sturdy thighs even tighter than it should be. “Again?”

She didn’t need to ask as she knew his answer all along, her body itself was already giving away the evidential signs of her own arousal - through the prickling buds of her breasts, and the trickling slickness between her legs. It wasn’t supposed to be this easy yet her own body betrayed her guarded reaction.

It only took that one damn kiss to reignite the recently-satiated untamed lust of hers.

They had their fill of each other two times earlier of the day yet twice was the limit of mere men.

They were not mere humans.

Rooted on the large captain’s chair, Reiner adjusted his seat by pushing the chair further back and pulled her snug in return against his chest, lips grazing against the juncture of her neck and shoulder between the folds of her collar. His answer to her earlier question came in the way his left hand fumbled with the second and third fastening of her white shirt until all his five digits could slip through. Oh, he knew exactly which button of hers he needed to push to make her writhe like a feral animal, heady with an untamed call to mate. It was a repeat move of his, already predictable at this point yet it didn’t matter to her. Not one bit as the moment she felt his palm grabbing hold of her breast, her own senses jumped into their own hyperdrive, abandoning all logic she ever had.

The parts of me buried underneath

They're glowing, do you see?

I know that you feel me now

No, I'm never going down

It was a tiny intimate gesture, but she furtively took delight in running her own hands along the veins protruding on the muscles of his triceps. She has always been one to appreciate fine, well-worked muscles on men. The fleeting thought of gripping against the solid tendons of his arms while he worked his wicked magic on her body was more than enough to make her sopping wet with need.

It didn’t matter if there would be people outside that door that could overhear the lewd noises coming out of her mouth. Mikasa was more content in defying all societal expectations of her on becoming a proper, obedient, shy wife who wouldn’t even make a peep during intercourse.

Reiner Braun knew he married a beast on the battlefield and he’d only just unearthed the darker, intense side of her lust but he already decided that there are still more waiting to be explored.

He was only just beginning.

He wasn’t blind to her secret kink. He knew he was the first man to have ever touched her in such a way and it boosted his ego more to know that he checked out her boxes like no other men ever did in her life before.

Not even Eren actually could.

Reiner drew in a long breath when he felt Mikasa guiding his right hand in between the waistband of the long dark grey skirt she was wearing and it wasn’t too long until he sensed the urgency of her need for his touch by the way his fingers and palm were already saturated with the slippery warmth of her natural lubricant. The index and middle fingers of his right hand skilfully rimmed around the opening of her mound, spreading them apart like the velvety petals of a rose, enjoying her slickness before pervading into her tight slit in one smooth thrust of his paired digits. All while his left hand made good work of kneading her right breast, eliciting a deep, unsavory moan from her throat on the multiple stimulations overcrowding her senses.

She turned her body to the side and snaked one arm around his neck while the other pulled apart his own shirt carelessly and clawing greedily at his pectorals. Her trimmed fingernails scratched at his own sensitive chest as she caught his lips again with an intensity more ferocious than before. She rolled her hips with no abandonment, needing to feel more of his fingers inside her, fucking her and filling her up the way his tongue was doing with her mouth. By now, she understood full well the thin line between pain, pleasure and just painful pleasure.

He gave them all to her at the same time in no particular order as if he had known her personal pattern like a secret combination, way before they even touched for the first time.

Breaking their lips apart, the building rapture from inside her walls reached its pinnacle when she came hard on his hand, her cheeks flushed, her wetness overflowed from her opening, dousing his hand with the warm glistening liquid. She hurriedly pulled his hand out from her skirt, staring in horror as her body left a hot mess behind, conscious that he would find it disgusting. However, quite the opposite happened as Reiner stared at the now dripping fluid from his closed fist in absolute fascination.

“Oh god…” She whimpered in the aftermath of her release, still riding out the tremors of her orgasm and was about to apologize when the vision of her lord husband marveling at the pool of fluid in his hands rendered her silent.

Reiner gazed back at her with hooded eyes, his own lust reasserting its presence once again and this time, it’s even more ravenous than before. The vision of her coming in his hand alone was the sexiest thing he had ever witnessed in his life and it was more than what is needed for his own manhood to harden at its peak form once again.

Mikasa stood up and hurriedly pulled him towards a corner of the room, where she knew the door leading to the communal privy would be there. It was a small washroom, only big enough to accommodate a washbasin and a latrine. “Give me your hand.” She requested but instead of complying, Reiner took the swift opportunity to latch the door and leaned against the wooden surface, the top of his head almost reaching the door arch.

“Waste not, my Lady.” With a wicked smirk on his face, he used his free hand to undo his breeches carefully. He withdrew a sigh of relief the moment his manhood was freed from its confinement, standing proud with its engorged tip already leaking with his precum. He wasted not a second long and used his right hand to stroke his erected member right in front of his wife, utilizing her own release to lubricate his pumping. She found herself enthralled with the way Reiner was seeking for his own release and Mikasa bit her lips in reflex.

He never took his eyes away from her and he rooted her to the spot just by his hypnotizing lust-filled gaze. If she wasn’t already drunk in her own yearning, she would’ve thought it absurd to see the lord of a powerful empire having to pleasure himself in such a manner.

He teased, “Fancy another round of ‘sparring’, Ohime-sama?” The sly way he addressed her formally in Hizurian tongue caused her to shake her head in abandonment.

Mikasa tried to conceal an amused smile on her own face but was unsuccessful in her attempt. “Thought you’d never ask.”

That was all that was needed before they closed the distance between them, him switching his position with her back against the only door of the privy. He hiked her long skirt upwards, causing them to bunch around the curves of her waist and he hoisted her lighter form up against the wooden surface. Her knees bent and her legs hooked around his hips, he urged her arms around his neck. He used his upper body strength through his left arm to support most of her weight. While his other hand began to push her brassiere up and shifted his focus on her untouched breast, devouring the already hardened nub with his wicked mouth.

Seconds broke and their lips recklessly sought each other once again, teeth biting and tongues clashing in another frenzied hunt yet not long enough before he inevitably gripped his own manhood. He guided the tip of his erection towards her mound before nudging the flimsy seamline of her skivvies aside and finally plunged into her soaking wet opening, grunting at the early tightness encountered at her slit.

He cursed without care despite struggling to be coherent after he’s sheathed all the way to the top of her taut passage.

Her raven hair was already unkempt, several tresses plastered messily against her perspired skin when her head banged none too gently against the door upon the sensation of being filled once again. It took several agonizing seconds before Reiner’s shaft had fully stretched her inner walls and he needed no prompting to temporarily withdraw before ramming deeper into her, hitting her sensitive spot over and over again, turning them captives to their urgent desires.

As their bodies fell into their acquired rhythm, the tug and pull between them were too fierce, too forceful that the door was almost loosened from its hinges, threatening to showcase their mating to the public eyes, yet their decency was at the furthest recesses of their minds when no one or nothing else matters at that moment, but only the way their bodies seemed to mold perfectly into each other. 

Their latest rutting of the day was nothing gentle like the first time. It was just raw, mindless fucking between two lust-driven young adults and they kept on pushing their already inhuman limits to another level of momentum through the union of their bodies, feeding on their insatiable nature like a double-edged sword. Their pleasure hurts too good to be regretted over, burning them both in their blazing fires of desires.

He came first, unloading his seed deep inside her before she followed suit with lingering trembles of the top half of her body to the tremors along her legs and knees. Reiner’s own strength was slowly leaving his body as he managed to shift their bodies to the only counter nearby, slowly regulating his breaths, dwindling down from their climax. Still inside her, he let her rest her head against his chest as he took in their reflection in the hanging mirror on the wall next to where they were. They were a hot mess - buttons of shirts undone, ruffled skirts, breeches hung low on his hips, heavy gaspings and heaving chests in between.

It wasn’t until he posted a second glance back to the reflective surface that he swore he caught a glimpse of a face that only ever existed in his dark memories. The one whom he had thought had gone away completely.

** // Explicit Scene Ends \\ **

‘Hello, old friend. It’s been a while, isn’t it?’

Bertolt…

The last time he ‘saw’ his ‘former partner’ was when he tried to pull the trigger of the rifle that he had been aiming down his own throat.

‘He’ was the one who told him that it would be quick and painless.

‘You really didn’t give Mikasa a rest don’t you? Does fulfilling your needs justify abusing her body?’

Shit.

Why now?

Survey Corps New Headquarters, Trost

Eldian Island of Paradis

The sounds of chirping birds from outside the windows of her office took her attention away from the large stack of documents on the table, awaiting her undivided focus. However, the serene afternoon breeze that blew in through the open windowpane lulled her to an almost relaxed state. There had been a lot of action plans that required her immediate decision-making, follow-ups and following through ever since the ruling yesterday.

She noticed the untouched porcelain cup of tea that had grown cold from the corner of her eyes. Black tea with a tinge of honey. A certain grumpy old man’s favorite that he had left behind for her before his departure to Hizuru. 

“Hey, Four-eyes. Put in your notice to Pixis and come with me to Hizuru,” said the former Special Ops squad captain of the Survey Corps.

Her only visible eye unhidden by the cloth patch blinked incredulously, clutching her heart in a feigned surprise. “Oh my, Levi….was that a proposal?”

She received a disgruntled groan instead. “I’m serious, Hange. Come with me. I haven't got a clue on how to raise a newborn brat.”

Hange draped an arm around the shorter man’s shoulders, chuckling when Levi grumbled due to the pain coming from his dislocated joints. “It’s not like you’ll be doing the hard parts, Levi. The Azumabitos got you covered.”

“I’d rather get myself bombed by that asswipe again and I barely survived so that tells you something, Hange.”

“Don’t miss me too much, Levi. Hey, if you ever get lonely, you can always visit Eren in his ‘retirement’ cell.”

Levi reached out to smack the back of her head gently. “I’d rather you just kill me, Four-eyes. That would be easier.”

“I’m going to miss you too.”

The raven-haired man nodded. “I have a feeling that the Azumabitos will be reaching out to you soon. Till later, Hange. Oh, you can have my last batch of black tea that I kept in my room.”

A soft rapping could be heard coming from the double doors of the room’s only exit. “Come in.” She called out to the visitor, giving her approval for entry and her face lit up the moment she recognized the face of the newcomer.

“Armin! Just the person who I’ve been looking for.”

The blonde-haired military strategist presented his salutation to his immediate superior before he placed a batch of freshly-gazetted circulars on the large writing table for the older woman’s signature. “Anything I can be of assistance today, Commander?

The former scientist rested her face on her hands before asking, “Armin, what do you think if I were to endorse you as the new Commander of the Survey Corps?”

“WHAT?” His jaw dropped in pure astonishment. “It’s not funny, Commander! You can’t be making a joke about this right now especially since yesterday’s conference.”

“I’m really serious, Armin. There’s no better candidate for my replacement but you.” Hange opened the top drawers underneath the table and retrieved a brown paper folder that she handed over to the former Colossal holder. “This is my personal recommendation letter that I’ve been saving for you and I know you won’t let all of us down.”

“B-but, where are you going?”

Her fingers traced the outline of Levi’s favorite teacup. “Hizuru seems like a good place for retirement.”

Next chapter preview: The Toro-Nagashi ritual by the Amatsukaze’s crew helped Mikasa find her inner peace as she prayed for the peaceful passing of her loved ones. However, Reiner’s haunting auditory delusions of his dead comrades are gradually ebbing away at his psychological stability -- triggering the reemergence of something that should've remained buried in the dark recesses of his mind.

A/N: Thank you so much for your time in reading this chapter, lovelies!

If you love my works, please do click on the “Subscribe” button on the top of my profile page, so you’ll be updated whenever a new story is available. I’ll be working on a new SnK HighSchool AU story, Modern AU & a multi-chaptered fic based on the latest chapter(s) in the manga - all would be featuring our favorite, tragic rarepair. We all know they deserve more possibilities! See you guys again very soon. Take care & stay safe always. Till the next update!

Chapter Text

A/N: First and foremost, a belated HAPPY NEW YEAR 2021 to everyone! My bad, it’s February... *nervous laugh* May this new year bring about more positive energy, motivation, better health, success and joy to all my shooting stars a.k.a beloved readers. Thank you for the love and the constant motivation that drove me to hit my first milestone in writing: 100k words! It’s unbelievable to see how many hearts “As You Are” managed to touch ever since it was first published in 2018. I am very aware that quite a lot of that amount came from repeat readers.

Thank you so much for your continuous love!

For those who are curious, AYA’s only wrapping up 1 out of 3 arcs. AYA is my treasured baby, a ReiKasa chronicle that I’d love taking my time exploring on top of my other AUs. Even if the series ends in April, AYA’s universe will continue to expand for my readers to come back to from time to time to enjoy <3

I’ve written a one-shot entitled “Maria”, which can also be read as the prequel to AYA’s story. It features Reiner & Mikasa’s first time meeting in Liberio before the assault on Marley takes place. Do check it out if you haven’t! It provides another reason to do more repeat reading because AYA has been polished to add several small details & to improvise the established connection between “Maria” and “As You Are” ever since.

Also, AYA finally has its own cover art! Made by the amazing Nadia Aisyah. Do check it out in the first chapter :)

Next stop, a super shout-out to my beautiful readers who had left supportive & amazing comments in the previous chapter AND to the new readers who have check out and bookmarked this story; iruze, Sanity_through_Madness, Fras76, AkaYume, Paulstark, LazinessForever, Asli_Rejin, SangbyungKim, piscesprincess21, takewaelel, gamerman1902, noodles_are_life, NYX_MIAooo, Darth_Hunter02, vysace & TheOneYouNeverSaw. A heartfelt gratitude is in order as well for my readers who have taken the time to drop in ultra sweet Asks & DMs on my Tumblr page. You guys are amazing! (I hope you guys have enjoyed my crack posts haha)

I love you guys very much. Thank you for your support! <3

I have written some sexy headcanons (available here) based on AYA’s universe if you’d like to read more with some fic spoilers. I might post a ficlet on my blog that details the extended ‘shower scene’ too ;) Not forgetting, an updated 2-part Reiner & Mikasa’s character and ship appreciation post on Tumblr. Do check the updated post for your reading pleasure!

Content note: Explicit sex scene (will be labeled accordingly & will be the last smut for this arc). Heavy Reading. Rhythmic muse: Still Alive by Lisa Miskovsky and Earned It by Kurt Hugo Schneider, Kina Grannis and MAX. Reintroducing ArminxAnnie as an active couple in AYA and the early hints of JeanxPieck. The Toro-Nagashi ritual is simplified for this fic and focuses more on its purpose than the more intricate details of its execution.

Helpful terminologies:

Geta - Japanese wooden clogs, footwear

Kannushi - Priest, Clergyman;

Mukaebi - welcoming fire;

Mikoshi - portable shrine(s);

Mizugami / Suijin - Shinto Water God;

Monpuku - Crested hakama;

Ohime-sama / Ōjo - A title of respect used when addressing or referring to a princess or noblewoman. Ōjo is for a more familial endearment;

Okaerinasai - a welcoming greet, ‘Welcome home’;

Tadaima - I’m home;

Tsukuyomi - Shinto Moon Goddess;

Tsumami Kanzashi - A set of traditional Japanese hair ornaments;

Toro - Traditional candle-lit lanterns;

Washi - Traditional Japanese glassine paper;

As You Are

Chapter Thirteen

Concrete Heart

You have changed, I have changed, just like you,

For how long, must I wait, I know there’s something wrong.

Your concrete heart isn’t beating and I’ve tried to make it come alive.

No shadows, just red light.

Now I’m here to rescue you.

Survey Corps New Headquarters

Trost, Paradis

He walked slowly into the holding quarters area, located at the lower level of the building, carrying with him a tray of full course meal made specifically by a hired military cook from Marley. It was an early dinner for the occupant inside the room in the more private wing; usually reserved for higher officials or guests. The guards stationed at the main gated entrance leading into the wing immediately formed a steadfast position, offering their salutes the moment he saw him approaching.

He nodded in acknowledgment and asked, “Good day. Has everything been in order?”

“Yes, Sir. Nothing out of the ordinary,” replied the first guard, followed by a nod from his lanky partner. The latter even added, “We’d like to offer our congratulations on your fresh promotion, Sir or is it too early to call you Commander Arlert?”

Armin almost did a double take, the tray nearly jumped off his hands due to the abrupt impact. “Wait-what-how did you both know about this? I just spoke to Commander Zoë about 2 hours ago?”

The first guard chuckled, rubbing the back of his bald head sheepishly. “Madam Zoë had been screaming from her office windows, saying her goodbyes and telling the whole division that you’re in charge now and mentioned something about helping Captain Ackerman with nappy-changing duties.”

The former Colossal holder shook his head in disbelief at the humorous and flamboyant way their Commander announced her resignation, just like she would with her entrance - nonchalant, a lot of guts and loud . That’s Hange-san for you. He looked back at the two guards and gestured his head towards the direction of the living quarters.

The taller guard shook his head. “I’ve tried knocking to just check in and see if she requires anything from time to time since we last saw you during our midday break. She was just...quiet.”

The first guard chimed in, “Would you like us to comewith, Commander? In case you might need any back-up?”

“Rufus, no.” His partner hushed him, in fear that it would cause discomfort to their now highest superior in the division.

Armin shook his head. “It’s alright. Thank you, but we’ll be fine.” He understood the obstinate fear the common folks or regular soldiers would still have for the young woman who’s currently making the private wing her permanent residence. Ever since the day the partial Rumbling had been triggered in Shinganshina. These people are terrified of the Female Titan holder who had been responsible for the major destruction inside Wall Sina, which included unsuspecting civilians gathered inside the Church of the Walls.

But he knew this woman. Behind that icy facade, she still had that existing goodness in her heart. The heart that still loves her father unconditionally.

“Now that I’m here, I’ll relieve you both from your posts. I’ll be staying until the next shift reports in for duty in two hours.”

Both soldiers saluted in respect to the man who, today, had just made history as the youngest military commander in the Island at just the tender age of nineteen. “Thank you, Sir.”

“Of course, you deserved the much needed privacy to celebrate.”

“Rufus. Shut the fuck up. Mind your own business.” The shorter guard smacked the back of his partner’s head, causing the latter to yelp in pain.

Armin cleared his throat in embarrassment yet waited patiently until both men had disbursed and only then he stepped forward and deeper into the wing, stopping short by two feet away in front of the wooden door. The same door that had been witnessing his frequent visits and the many tireless verbal arguments that had taken place behind it with every visit he made. One of the many reasons he’d prefer to relieve the guards every time he comes by: privacy from listening ears to any classified information that might have been uttered in the spur of another episodic heated banter. Definitely not because of what the guards implied much earlier.

He knocked once and waited with eased breathing.

Silence. Not even the sound of a footstep or the rustling of any movements could be heard as a response.

Armin couldn’t help but feel a low wave of panic from overwhelming his senses and hurriedly pressed the handle down, immediately pushing the door open. He calmly exhaled a sigh of relief as soon as his eyes caught sight of the former shifter’s figure on the Queen-sized bed, seemingly deep in her slumber.

At least, she’s resting. Armin knew that Annie hasn’t been sleeping well at night ever since she was released from her own self-imposed crystal containment a few days ago. Who would be when you’re suspended in between consciousness for four years in solitude? It would’ve driven anyone absolutely insane.

That was why he'd persuaded Hange-san to request a transfer of their current ‘guest’ into the more private wing of the Survey Corps’ new building. Away from judgmental, untrustworthy eyes. No one would understand her situation better but the officers directly involved with the newly-formed alliance. Even the guards selected for the wing’s security details from the Military Police division had been vetted out by Hange-san herself.

He quietly moved across the room, completely mindful of any noise that might stir the sleeping woman awake and placed the tray on the side table adjacent to the bed. Next to the tray of lunch that he had brought hours earlier. Still untouched.

Armin heaved out a long sigh. It was just as he’d expected.

She was starving herself on purpose.

He adjusted his formal overcoat, straightening out the creases on its fabric before taking a seat on the empty side of the bed. He took in the peaceful sleeping face, that would otherwise be a stoic canvas of coldness when the owner’s awake. In the late afternoon sun, Armin could perceive the dried up tear marks on her pale face. A heavy dread harbored in his chest; she’d been crying again and she waited when no one else was in the room. It was truly obvious that she didn’t take the news of the Council’s decision very well, especially pertaining to her fate.

From one imprisonment to another.

Even the hypocritical irony of the end verdict decided by the Council had been sorely apparent the moment they announced the Pillars two days ago. 

It feels, indeed, no different that they’ve only ever exchanged custody of their respective ‘prisoners’ - Mikasa goes to Marley and Annie remains in Paradis. The only difference was that Marley and Hizuru had mollified the status of his childhood friend to a respected bride and provisionary regent; future mother to the unborn crown prince of Hizuru - who’d sooner be a living evidence of their alliance’s success in uniting the two nations and in the next twenty years: three. Sacrifices have been made and will be made even by the next generation to secure and reinforce their new beginnings.

This truce must be honored by all mankind, regardless of who they are; royals, nobles, common folk, Eldian, non-Eldian. Everyone has their respective roles and commitment to be carried out to secure the success of this global unity. No matter how painful or difficult it would be - more to some than most.

His gaze, forlorn, landed on the young woman’s face. He understood that it hasn’t been easy for her. He just wanted to make this arrangement less difficult than it already was. His fingers tried to sweep aside the flaxen hair covering one half of her face but her hand grabbed his wrist tight in reflex.

Bright blue eyes opened, staring sharply back at him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“An-annie! I wasn’t trying to do anything. Your hair, it’s just -- oh, never mind. I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

The young woman pushed her body up, brushing the sleepiness in her eyes away and reclined against the wooden headboard, completely unaware that the hooded shift’s strings had been slightly undone and now displaying more of her pale skin than necessary. 

Armin’s inexperienced eyes blinked nervously in response, yet he sooner averted his vision before she noticed that he’d been inclined to stare at her, much longer than he should respectfully be.

“What time is it? Five?” She peered out of the open windows and tried to guess the time just by looking at the sun’s position.

“Uhh….” Armin nodded his head, “Close to five.” He looked back at the untouched lunch tray on the side table. “Why didn’t you eat anything at all? Was the bread stale? The gravy, salty?”

Annie rested her head on her folded knees as she too, sent a dispassionate look at the same item Armin was eyeing. “I don’t feel like eating.”

“But your body needs sustenance, Annie. You need to recover your strength.”

She snapped back, “Strength for what? To escape? Or fight my way out of this building? I have no more shifting abilities and I can’t even go anywhere!”

Armin adjusted his sitting position and turned to his side so he was now facing the young woman directly. “For now. But once things have been sorted out and we can secure a better arrangement for you, you would have more movement and breathing space. That, I can promise you. Just hold on for a little bit longer, Annie.”

Annie closed her eyes in frustration. “I just want to go home and see my father.”

He pulled one of her hands into his to offer even a small amount of comfort. “We can’t grant you the first request but we are absolutely arranging for the second one to be fulfilled. We can’t send you back to Marley but we can bring your father here. I’m making sure that it happens as soon as possible. I’m keeping constant communication with both Reiner and Mikasa on this. As a matter of fact, since I just became Commander of the Survey Corps today, I can foresee this promotion to give us more advantage to expedite that process for you.”

It didn’t escape her observation that Armin had indeed used the word ‘us’ in his reassurance. As if they’re a unit. As if there’s a them . Like Reiner and Mikasa. How did that happen? “I don’t get why Reiner is exempted from this and gets to be back home with Mikasa as his fucking wife? Is everyone insane? He’ll treat Mikasa like shit. You have no idea what is going wrong in his head but he’ll hurt her.”

“Annie, calm down.” He squeezed the hand in his hold reassuringly.

“You remember Marco right? It only takes a split second for Reiner to flip - today, tomorrow, the next week - and he won’t remember he actually did it. He’ll hurt her. If not now, eventually and he won’t ever remember why or how he did it. I’m not Mikasa’s friend but no one deserves to be in that kind of hell.” There was a short pause in her words as she shook her head with a bitter laugh. “The Hizuru higher-ups should’ve chosen Galliard instead. No offense. I hate both of them but though Galliard’s a prick, he’s the lesser evil, less manipulative between the two. Mikasa could handle pride better than whatever Reiner is.”

Armin drew in a long breath. Oh boy….here we go again. “If what you said is true, Reiner seemed to be a changed man and Mikasa has grown a lot herself. No one’s perfect, Annie but the whole point of being together is to make it work even if it could possibly hurt you at times. We can’t judge their relations and how they’ll make it work. How wrong could it be if they can set aside their existing differences for a future together? Why can’t we do the same thing?”

“Why? Hold on, what do you mean us doing the same thing? Is this why you’re being this nice to me? Doing things for me?”

His eyes blinked back in confusion at her sudden questioning. “Huh? I’m doing this for you because I want to.”

She pulled the hand that was in his hold harshly. “No one does something without expecting anything in return.”

“I-I just want to see you happy.”

“WHY?” She lunged at him, dissatisfied of his answer and her sudden aggression caught him off guard, sending his body straight onto the floor. He took in a really deep breath as he looked up and noticed that Annie was now straddling him, her pale thighs - barely hidden by the long shift she was wearing - locking tight against his waist with a strong force. Her hands grabbed his wrist and pressed them flat against the carpeted surface. Firm and unyielding.

Armin gulped, there was no way Annie would hurt him. Even if she was trying to, she’d have no idea how her attempts are affecting him in a much different way. Ever since her release from the crystal, this had been the first time they’ve been in close proximity and he wasn’t sure whether Annie realized that he’d actually have more physical advantage that came along with his growth over the years. Yet, he wouldn’t want to use that advantage over her because he really hoped that she’d remember that he’d always been someone she could learn to trust. Even from years ago.

“Armin, why?” She pressed him for answers again, her hips ground dangerously against his.

“Because I care about you!”

She shook her head furiously, the tresses of her hair flailing wildly against her shoulders. “I don’t believe you.”

“Annie, please just get off.” Shit . He’s not supposed to be turned on in an otherwise intense situation but it could possibly flew over her head that he was no longer a fifteen year old boy on the brink of puberty. He’s a grown young man with untapped needs. Needs that he’d never once found himself succumbing to in the past four years. Needs that would sooner be taking over his physical control if Annie doesn’t stop her grinding anytime soon and she’ll hate him for what his own anatomy and hormones couldn’t entirely control upon forced stimulation. “Please. Stop moving.” This will be too awkward too fast.

“Be honest!”

“That’s the truth. Is it so hard for you to accept that someone like me or Hitch could genuinely care about you?! And for the love of God please stop squirming before I get a-”

Annie choked the moment she felt something hard and stiff prodded her derriere.

“-Fuck.” Armin sighed, hitting his head on the floor several times, punishing himself for his own body’s failure to contain itself. He respectfully grabbed her shoulders and pushed her body up, being absolutely mindful not to let any parts of his body to graze her ever again.

Annie’s eyes widened, appalled at the sudden situation they had found themselves in and she quickly climbed the bed to place herself on the other side of the crib all while her eyes were still fixated on the younger man. “So what? Am I a kept woman now, Armin? You do all these things just so you could fuck me?”

“WHAT? I’ve been nothing but understanding of your situation, Annie. I know how it must’ve hurt you the most to be stuck here but we’ve been trying our damndest best to ensure that nothing could be worse for you. Even Hange-san is trying to help you. You are not alone. I lo --- care about you, Annie.”

Annie’s voice went a note higher. “So what the hell is that ?” A finger pointed accusingly at his lower regions.

The Shinganshina native let out a dejected sigh for the umpteenth time of the day. “I grew up just like everybody else,  Annie. I tried asking you to stop. I’m just not that boy anymore. I really don’t know if you obviously can’t see it or refuse to see it.” He pushed himself up off the floor and adjusted his overcoat to hide the source of his embarrassment before sharing the last piece of his mind to the former female shifter. “Annie, right now, I’m your best chance of seeing your father again. At the very least, if you can’t be nice to me, please don’t treat me like I’m your enemy anymore. And please, try to finish half of the dinner I brought you. I made sure that they made your favorite dish from Marley.” Armin breathed out much too hard that he could feel his chest aching apart from the pang of guilt for his earlier blunder. “I-I just think it would be nice for you to have a taste from home. I’ll send Hitch to check in with you in the next hour.”

He immediately made his way to the door, ever planning to stand vigil at the guards’ post, and closed it behind him without so much as a glance at the woman now sitting all alone inside the room, nor even waited for her response. Annie wrapped her arms around her body, the fragrant nostalgic scent from the piping hot meal only brought a stinging sensation from her nose and all the way to her eyes. The reminiscence only caused her longing to manifest themselves in another wave of warm tears running down her cheeks.

It was the same meal that her Papa used to make after a long day of training.

She was always a loner most of her life but this loneliness…..it’s slowly killing her from the inside. And she thought being in the crystal was nightmare enough.

Meanwhile, Armin still couldn’t shake Annie’s earlier words from resonating inside his head, lingering with a poignant residue in his guts. He made a mental note to arrange an earlier visit to Marley to check in on the newlyweds on top of tracking down Annie’s father. Mikasa has always been his sister and he’d just wanted to be sure that she is safe and well amongst their former enemies turned ally.

He’d believed that Reiner wasn’t who he used to be, but he couldn’t push aside the ominous feeling in his gut as Annie’s earlier forewarnings lingered at the back of his mind.

Amatsukaze en route to Marley

Main Seas

“Are you guys sparring again? In the bathroom, really?” came the suspicious inquiry from none other than the spunky twelve-year-old Gabi Braun, the moment they caught the newlyweds walking out of the door of the small latrine. Said door, which appeared to be almost loosened from its hinges, had became the sole witness to whatever the young couple had been doing as they appeared looking extremely flushed, uncomfortably sweaty and seemed to have been inside a disaster zone rather than a small two by two washroom; which was obviously meant to fit only one person at a time. Their close proximity and the hands that were obviously intertwined before being released promptly just as the door was opened, couldn’t be more apparent signs of their latest ‘escapade’.

“What?” asked her older cousin in return, while sneaking a sly look at his younger bride. “We needed to ‘talk’ somewhere more private.” Said bride held her cool composure as usual despite herself still trying to regulate her breathing, neither agreeing or disagreeing with the former shifter’s words.

“Reiner, you’re disgusting,” chided the little girl again, causing Akane and Colt, whose faces were already drawing similar shades of red to almost break out into an untimely laughter despite the handmaiden’s attempt to hold the younger girl down. While the poor innocent Falco was lost and clueless of the happenings, his eyes roaming nervously between all the adults in the room.

Reiner decided his young cousin’s sassiness needed to be taken down a notch. “Okay, we both got the point, Gabi.”

“Oh no, Mikasa’s fine. Just you.”

“Really, now?” There was without a doubt, a hint of challenge in his tone. Gabi has always been the competitive one in their family. He smirked. But he’s the older one. The one who always had to give in growing up. Now, not anymore.

“Yeah.”

“That’s too bad, Gabi.” Because she’s mine. The tall, blonde-haired young man then made a very bold move by moving behind the raven-haired woman next to him and wrapped his long, muscular limbs around her torso, to further reinforce his unspoken declaration. The unsubtle action caught her off guard, Mikasa’s body instinctively froze at the sudden display of affection, something that she didn’t expect Reiner would be as comfortable in expressing in front of the others. She was very sure he’d been aware that she was not one to openly indulge in the same thing as well. The fact that a simple brush of his strong, broad chest against her back and the way his lips were too close to her ear, was almost enough to make her weak in her knees. Again.

Ever since this morning, she had already begun questioning her level of perseverance when it comes to NOT giving in to her carnal needs particularly if it has anything to do with her rather physically persuasive husband, she might say.

The dark-haired girl’s cheeks puffed in visible annoyance. “I’m taking Mikasa away from you.” She immediately strode forward and pulled the older woman away by the hand, putting in as much distance as she could between them and Reiner.

“You sure she’s twelve?” The Hizuru heiress from the Ackerman clan sent a partially amused look back at the blonde-haired military veteran, as she allowed herself to be lugged around by Gabi, to one side of the war room. 

“More like a forty year old hag,” stated Reiner in a nonchalant, deadpan manner. His smirk, however, betrayed the steely mask on his face.

The little girl jeered at her older cousin, her grip tight on her new in-law’s hand. “Shut up, Reiner. Step aside. Mikasa’s my favorite cousin now.”

“Manners.” Mikasa remarked sternly yet with a good-natured intent, obvious with the way she poked the younger girl’s cheek with the pointy end of her index finger. The tiny banter reminded her of the way she used to tease Armin when they were younger. It made her miss him; her sworn brother, even more than she’d thought she would.

“Sorry, Mikasa.” Gabi shook her head bashfully. “Oh, I want to show you the kimono Akane found for me from the storage. She said I can wear it tonight for the rites.” The excitement in the little girl’s eyes went straight to her heart, no different than having an arrow aiming directly to her chest, invoking a familiar instinct inside her - a natural inclination to protect and nurture.

Her gray eyes glinted with apparent confusion as she directed her gaze at her handmaiden. “Are we having a special occasion tonight?”

Akane bowed her head down in respect towards the newlyweds, before offering the much-needed explanation. “Yes, milord, milady. Since there was a storm last night, we had to move the prayers to tonight instead seeing that we’ll be reaching Marley’s coast tomorrow morning. Our designated kannushi will carry out the Toro-Nagashi ritual that we must perform after a battle. This is to help guide those who have passed away to move on safely to the afterlife. We have lost our loved ones, our friends in wars or sickness, the ritual is to help them pass on peacefully if they were to still have any unfinished business here in the world of the living.”

Mikasa’s gaze immediately landed back on the young girl who’s holding tightly at her hand, her thoughts instantaneously being hurled into a deep contemplative state.

Of the sworn sister that she lost and the new one she gained in return, even when the former’s life was taken by the latter in her ignorance.

Of the hate that she could have possibly allowed to cloud her heart and poison her judgment.

Of the tremendous love and compassion she had learned to give and received unexpectedly in return.

Of acceptance towards the girl and her cousin - the man whom she’d thought she’d never be able to see again ever since that fateful encounter in front of that patisserie, five days before Eren’s retrieval in Liberio. The same man that she’d grown to care for as a friend in the three years of knowing him, that his betrayal cut her and their comrades so deep.

By a surreal twist of fate - the same mysterious man that she’d actually ended up marrying after all. Absolutely unaware that him, her betrothed and the Armored Titan holder has always been the same man all along. Is this a predestination weaved by Izanagi and Izanami themselves? She could only wonder. Love was taken away from her, Love was given in return. She’d lost another family, she’d gain another one in its stead.

Gabi prodded at the older woman’s torso using her own index finger, just like how Mikasa did with her cheek earlier. “Are you available right now, Mikasa? I wanted you to come with me and Akane to the storage room at the lower decks. There were a lot of really amazing things inside that room. I saw a bladed fan that you would love! Lord Takeshi mentioned that everything inside that room belongs to your ancestors. How amazing is that?”

Mikasa nodded her head, a gentle smile gracing her lips as her response was immediately welcomed by Gabi’s grin. This little girl gets really excited upon seeing any weapons or firearms. She made a mental note to be more careful before divulging the little Warrior trainee further with her peculiar interest.

With a pull from Gabi’s smaller hand, Mikasa sent a fleeting gaze back at Reiner, who’d only offered a nod and said, “We’ll see you ladies at the dining room later.” It also did not escape her observation on how natural was Reiner’s gentleness in his interaction with the Grice brothers and the tenderness reflected in the way he ruffled young Falco’s head in acknowledgment at something the boy said.

It was a relief to view a smile on the young boy’s face, even more so upon knowing that Eren had terrorized the younger Grice brother and took advantage of this boy’s kindness in his heartlessness the moment he initiated the ambush at central Liberio.

That boy’s smile…. it immediately reminded her of that day in Marley. Falco had been the same boy who had accidentally ran into her and because of him, she had indeed crossed paths with Reiner - the one man who’d be somewhat significant in her life right this very moment.

Little did she realize that there was a hint of a smile reflected on her face upon witnessing such sight and coming to such discernment, which did not go unnoticed by both Gabi and Akane in an exchange of knowing looks between them.

----

You make it look like it’s magic, because I see nobody, nobody but you...

That evening, the skies had been a beautiful spread of dark orange and crimson flares with a single early moon in the far horizons; right above the curtaining sunset line. The melodious chirping of evening birds returning home after a long day of hunting at dusk, brought forth a soothing, peaceful atmosphere. No different than a painted magnificence by the hands of God himself, evoking a feeling of blessedness and tranquility amongst an almost hundred crews of the sea transporter already gathered on the large deck. All, garbed in formal kimonos stood in uniformed rows, facing a palanquin made of woods from blessed trees and joining in the prayers led by a priest dressed in a ceremonial robe. The religious figure could be seen sitting in front of an altar with burning flames just next to the shrine.

Followed by Lord Takeshi and the security personnels assigned for their protection, the moment Reiner stepped out onto the deck from the ship’s main entrance, all eyes were instantaneously drawn to him. With an unspoken cue, all of the crew members bowed down in unison, welcoming their presence. With Lord Takeshi’s guidance, he returned the gesture before accepting the cleansing offer by one of the crew members. He ran his hands, left before right, under the poured water from the wooden ladle and completed his ablution by rinsing his face and mouth.

That evening right after dinner, Reiner was quite surprised to find Lord Takeshi and a security personnel from the Azumabito household already waiting for him inside the main chamber. It also answered the question he had, upon noticing that Colt and Falco had been tailing him from the dining room and both weren’t being very discreet about it.

The moment his eyes landed on a pair of dark blue and black montsuki-haori, almost identical to the one that he had worn for his wedding, days earlier, he’d finally understood the gravity of the ritual’s significance. This hakama was different that, according to the young admiral, it was his own monpuku, or crested hakama. He could see a small embroidery of the Azumabito family crest etched on the left chest area, with a larger symbol of the three blades on its back -- at the same spot as the one inked on Mikasa’s skin.

In a way, despite how he felt so undeserving of such honor, he would not let the traditions of the brave and selfless warriors from Hizuru be taken for granted and disrespected in any way.

Despite it being his first time participating in a formal ritual, it has always been ingrained deep within him; a second nature of his to adapt and adjust well to new circumstances or experiences.

No, wait, that was me. You’re just an impostor fronting with MY likeness.

He shook off the deceptive voice inside his head, right at the very second when he heard Lord Takeshi’s voice sharing the more elaborate meanings behind the structures already laid out front and centre of the ship's spacious deck. He observed the significance of the gold-lacquered wooden palanquin by sheer vision alone, reaffirmed by his right hand man’s words that the mikoshi, is a portable shrine which houses the main deities worshipped by the Azumabito family. It was the smaller version of the large one he’d seen when he was in Hizuru. He could observe a middle-aged man sitting cross-legged in front of the mukaebi, the small burning fire on the moveable altar. His gaze then followed the line of Lord Takeshi’s vision when the much older fleet leader provided clarity of the sacred words recited by one of the more senior naval crew who was also their entourage’s designated kannushi, a faith leader.

“Hijikata-dono, our ship’s priest is offering prayers to appease Izanagi’s daughter, Tsukuyomi the Moon goddess and Suijin - the Water god, our Mizugami. Suijin is to bless the waters we are travelling through and He is also the patron saint of fertility, motherhood and childbirth. Quite a number of our soldiers and crew members here have left their expecting wives and their young children in Hizuru for their duties to you and our global alliance. Everyone is rallying behind the princess and you, my liege. Everyone has their respective roles and they undertake their responsibilities seriously.”

In other words, Reiner, you have no right to fuck this up for these people. I didn’t give my life up just for you to become a failure and a disappointment. He could hear Marcel’s patronizing voice resonating inside his headspace, shaking his already fragile conscience.

Lord Takeshi observed their young Lord, who seemed to be almost already lost in his own thoughts and continued, “Leading our nation to a peaceful beginning is not your only responsibility.” The moment his sentence reached a short pause, they both noticed the rest of the crew members began to shift. Their movements were followed by a chorus of ‘Ohime-sama’ and the name that could only belong to the woman who had just appeared from the main entrance. He turned around and was greeted by the vision of his bride stepping onto the deck, garbed in a pair of formal kimono with the color of a flowering violet, its dark shade only highlighted her fair complexion. The rose gold tassels of her floral hair ornament glinted in the lanterns’ lights. With every step that she took, its chiming called forth the beating of his heart, which could be felt through the rise and fall of his chest.

He still couldn’t believe that this stunning woman - who had grown so much from the cold, silent and terrifying young girl he had known in Paradis - is his wife, in every sense.

Under the full moon’s beam, surrounded by the ship’s loyal crews who bowed down to her in unison and respect; they only added more prominence to her effortless regality and natural beauty amongst the lantern-illuminated space in between them.

No different than a spell, or an enchantment, she took his breath away without even trying.

When all eyes were on her, Mikasa’s eyes were only fixed on him and him alone. His cousin too, was wearing a formal kimono of blue and white that might’ve been one size bigger for her, but the youngest member of the Braun family managed to pull off the look with her own adorable twist. He too couldn’t help but overheard praises sung amongst the ship’s crew members of how respectful the Eldian girl is towards their culture. He felt a strong sense of pride coursing through his veins when he saw Mikasa approaching with Gabi next to her.

He’d heard the young admiral cleared his throat from beside him and offered a mellowed reminder to his earlier advice. “Loving her. Protecting her. Honoring her. Those are the essences of your duty, Lord Reiner.”

He nodded in agreement. Until my last breath.

Marcel’s voice jeered recklessly. You’re only going to hurt her again, Reiner. Deep inside, you know it’

Mikasa bowed down slightly as soon as she reached an arm’s length distance from the gathered gentlemen. Reiner returned her greeting with a respectful bow of his own, and his gesture was followed by the other older men behind him. The second she lifted her head, he’d sooner leave a lingering brush of his lips against her forehead in a gentle caress. Unlike their wedding day, it was intentional, unrushed and truly savored instead. The scent that came from the fresh flowers pinned to her raven tresses brought a rush of recollection from their wedding night, yet he couldn’t shake a flitting afterthought to a memory that might have occurred at another place, in another time.

A distant memory that he can’t seem to recall after the assault in Liberio, an occurrence that seemed to always follow after an episodic blackout.

The sounds of tiny giggles that came from both Falco and Gabi was immediately hushed by Colt. The younger ones’ shenanigans distracted his derailing headspace, pulling him back before he became too lost in his own forbidding thoughts.

Lord Takeshi intervened by resting his hands on both children’s backs to calm some of their excitement down before he addressed the newlyweds. “My Lord, Ohime-sama, in Hizuru, we believed that all humans originally came from water and to which we will return to after death. The lanterns bearing the departed’s names will be lit and released to the sea. It symbolizes their soul’s return to where we all began. We will offer our prayers to Izanagi and Izanami to irradiate the spiritual paths so the souls of those we loved, that somehow might be lost, could be guided towards the afterlife. Mayhaps to find their peace and cross over safely.”

The kannushi stepped forward with a small paper lantern and handed it over to the young Warchief from Marley’s unsuspecting hand, prompting Lord Takeshi to offer a more elaborate explanation in return. “My Lord, this is a toro, a lantern made of washi, of fibers from the inner bark of a blessed gampi tree in the Azumabito family’s backyard. Together, you and the Lady Mikasa would write down the names of those that you’d like to offer safe passage and may their spirits be guided by Suijin no Mizugami.”

Mikasa proceeded to take the quill handed by Akane, its tip already dipped in ink and began to write the names of her late father, her late mother, her infant brother and Sasha’s name on the lantern’s surface. Reiner observed the process and his eyes lingered at the full names of her family - an information he’d never been able to know in the years he’d been in Paradis.

He inquired, “Mamoru?” To which his bride nodded in response and offered a brief answer. “It means ‘protector’. My parents had already chosen my brother’s name the moment they found out they might be having a boy.”

Reiner nodded with understanding and she asked him in return, “What names should we write for you?”

Marcel Galliard. Bertholdt Hoover.

“No one.” He answered dryly, drawing forth Mikasa’s inquisitive gaze. “Are you sure? What about Bert--”

He was very quick in opposing her suggestion. “All the important people in my life are still alive.”

“Alright.” She pulled her lips into a tight line upon sensing the sudden defensiveness that she’d picked up from his sentence but Gabi’s voice, followed by a small tug on her hand took her focus away from delving too much on what could’ve been a very sensitive subject to the former titan holder.

“Yes, Gabi?”

“Mikasa, can I write Ms. Sasha’s name on my lantern too?”

“Why not?”

The little girl’s face lit up and nodded, before she took the time to write carefully on the lantern that she was sharing with Falco and Colt, putting Sasha’s name right on top of their two friends - Udo and Zofia.

While Mikasa assisted the younger ones with their offerings, Lord Takeshi made a request for the heirloom in Reiner’s possession. He detached the knot holding Masamune’s sheath securely against the waistband of his hakama and transferred the ancient warrior’s blade to Lord Takeshi’s awaiting hands respectfully. He’d also noticed that Mikasa’s handmaiden had brought forward Mitsunari, the blade entrusted to his wife, to be placed on a miniature wooden rack right in front of the mukaebi - right on the middle panel, underneath Masamune.

Curious, he asked the eldest son of the Hosokawa family, “Is he blessing the blades too?”

His right-hand man nodded. “He is asking for the grace of Suijin to protect and nurture the bonds between you and the Lady Mikasa - both physical and soul. You see my Lord, Muramasa, the third blade, I believe is still in Hizuru and very seldom that the three family blades are separated. Not for long. Muramasa will follow its predestined holder just like the other two.”

Muramasa, to protect the firstborn prince and heir of the family.

The words proclaimed by the priest on their wedding day resounded inside his head. He finally understood the meaning behind Lord Takeshi’s cryptic words.

It won't be long before his unborn son is brought into this world if the Gods will it. He leered at the woman who was in a deep conversation with his young cousin not too far away. He'd imagined how fortunate he is to be chosen as the father to her children; strong, loyal and brave - just like their mother.

Immediately, he felt an abundant constriction on his shoulders and inside his chest, weighing him down onto the ship’s deck. Reminding him that he was nothing more than a tool; instrumental in attaining and retaining peace between warring nations. Yet, when his gaze landed on the raven-haired beauty crouching down next to Gabi before they shared an embrace, he could somehow sense the immense weight be partially lifted.

Would she carry that weight with him?

That insidious voice inside him taunted. She could carry the weight of the whole world with or without your sorry ass in it. She doesn’t need you more than that. She’ll NEVER need you more than that.

His hands grasped against air on his sides before forming into tight fists.

She would never accept you. How could she ever love someone who couldn’t even love himself? Just because she’s with you and not with Eren, doesn’t mean she will love you the same way.

His throat dry, his lips tightened and it was getting harder for him to breathe.

If I were you, Reiner, I wouldn’t be getting my heart in too deep. But my dick, however…

He excused himself and strode over to the furthest empty ledge of the ship - away from the gathering crowd, trying to gather his somber thoughts and taking in as much air as he could just so he could stop that voice within from uttering any further nonsense. He’d nearly punched a hole into the nearest barrel. At least the pain could have distracted his headspace.

It’s been getting too ‘crowded’ from the inside, too much from the usual. Too much for his own façade that it threatens to shatter the mask on his face.

----

Mikasa held Gabi’s hands after giving the written lantern to Falco, who looked concerned over the other girl’s sudden sadness. Gabi was getting emotionally compromised as the memory of her gunning Sasha down in her ignorance resurfaced and she couldn’t hide the shame along with the guilt on her face. “Mikasa, I’m very sorry for what I did. I swear I could still see the shock on Miss Sasha’s face when the bullet hit her chest. I don’t deserve your mercy even if we’re family.”

The raven-haired young woman crouched down with care, being mindful of the space between the edges of her kimono to the geta on her feet. She rested her hands against the sides of the little girl’s shoulders. “I believe Sasha knows and she’s watching over both you and Kaya with love and forgiveness. She’s never really gone as long as she lives in both of your heart and mine.”

Gabi began to rest her head forward against the crook of Mikasa’s neck. If she could turn back time, she wouldn’t be too reckless by latching on to the blimp, killing Mr. Blouse’s daughter and almost cost Falco his life.

Mikasa continued to offer her words. “I miss her so much, but I could see a lot of Sasha’s bravery and spirits through you. She gave you a future, so make her proud by living well and happy. You are her legacy.”

The little girl nodded before clutching even tighter against the older woman’s body, her voice muffled by the fabric of Mikasa’s kimono. “I will.” If there ever was any existing, unrepressed anger bearing its tremendous weight inside her still beating heart, Mikasa could feel them dissipating along with the stubborn tears finally escaping the corners of her eyes. They stung her cheeks the moment they cooled off in the evening air.

Sasha...I miss you so much. She stared off into the far distance of the ocean, hoping to somehow feel or sense that Suijin will guide Sasha’s soul to her final resting place.

A gust of gentle breeze drifted by in a tender caress, offering a reciprocated response to their yearning; love for her and forgiveness for Gabi. The heart wants what it wants but she was sure she could sense Sasha’s presence, embracing them both in an inexplicable warmth despite the coldness of the pacific wind. Unaware of the pair of golden hazel eyes fixating at them in a forlorn, conflicted gaze.

At this point, Akane was already struggling to contain the tears from running down her cheeks upon witnessing how an untimely death of the Lady Mikasa’s sworn sister had actually brought the bonds between these two found families even closer than it already was. A hand offered a small kerchief from next to her and she nodded a shy ‘Thank you’ to the older Grice brother. A small blush crept up her cheeks when she saw a gentle smile on the young gentleman’s face, offering her his wordless comfort.

As soon as the kannushi completed the rites of safe passage, he led the rest of the ship’s crew members in lowering the lanterns to the sea using a custom-made elevated deck. Several crew members assisted to release  the burning lanterns manually and ensured that the flames kept burning as they were placed on the waters. Lord Takeshi rested his hands on Gabi and Falco’s shoulders as he beamed fondly at the two children’s uncontained excitement when they stared at the floating lanterns carried by the gentle sea waves in awe.

Standing all by herself, Mikasa clasped her hands together and sent a silent prayer from within so that Papa, Mama, her baby brother, Sasha and even Bertolt would find their much deserved peace even when their deaths had been untimely -- their souls ripped apart from their body too soon and without a forewarning. Unbeknownst to Reiner, she had actually written the former Colossal holder’s name on their shared lantern despite his earlier dismissal. She understood and remembered that they had been more sworn brothers than close friends when they were still in Paradis. Reiner's refusal to openly grieve for the death of his brother-in-arms could only mean that it still hurts him after all these years. She wouldn't be so sure herself if Sasha's passing wouldn’t still affect her in the next several years but maybe, by accepting that her past needs to be let go and her present needs to be embraced to move forward with her future, would help ease that pain in time.

If only she could help Reiner with his pain, maybe he too could finally find his own inner peace after those years of hurting.

She could only hope that Reiner would allow her to share more of his burden and his unspeakable sins; one day when he's ready. She made a mistake of not opening herself more to Eren and truly seeing Eren for who he really is.

She would not repeat such history with Reiner.

Her eyes sent a faraway gaze towards the floating lanterns on the sea bed, while she rested her hands against the railing. Mama, he reminded me so much of Papa - his warmth, his demeanor and the way he loves the children. Would we be able to have that happiness just like you and Papa had? Could I, one day, love him the way you love Papa?

A touch at the small of her back reeled her in to their current reality, and she smiled when she saw the very subject of her pondering has finally returned to their side. She wasn't oblivious to the way the Marleyan Warchief pulled himself back from the rest, a behaviour that had actually seemed to be of a regular occurrence it seems. The years of wars had affected them, individually as soldiers yet his burden might be much heavier than others.

A burden he seemed to be more content in shouldering on his own.

With a smile still on her face, her heart made a secret, silent promise to this man standing next to her. I’ll be here for you. Always. You said before that you’ll never let me go. That much is enough.

I believe we could make this work. Make us work.

"Welcome back." She greeted, taking note of the stress lines under his eyes and his forehead as well as the way his pulled back hair had already become slightly unkempt in the evening breeze. A deep breath escaped her lips. Regardless, he’s still that handsome, charming man who came to her defense in that dirty back alley in Marley’s town.

Together, they both observed Gabi and Falco, who seemed to already be lighting fire sparklers with Akane and Colt as Lord Takeshi supervised diligently from the sides with a group of cheering crew members. The children would most probably remind the crew members of their own back in their homeland. The children’s raucous laughter were rambunctious but a much welcomed change from all the horrors they had to witness ever since the assault in Liberio.

She couldn’t fend off the delight on her face as she saw the children were able to just be children again.

Reiner sent her a grin in response, that little smile on her face did not go unnoticed. His hand had already snaked itself around her waist, just underneath her obi line. He leaned in to whisper a bold, “Did you miss me?,” in her ear.

“I thought you might’ve jumped overboard.”

His head dipped down and he planted a quick kiss on her shoulder, the smoldering warmth from his lips could be felt even through the three layers of kimono on her body. “Will my lady wife come to my rescue if I do?”

She feigned indifference. “I’ll take my time.”

A thin eyebrow lifted quizzically. Ever since they were still trainees, he’d remembered that Mikasa actually has a really wicked sense of humor. How could he ever forget Sasha’s ‘farting’ incident? “You’re going to let me drown first?”

Her shoulders shrugged languidly. “Just so I could revive you back to life later.” She could feel his fingertips squeezing the curve of her waist teasingly and a shiver ran up her spine when his warm breath tingled the skin on her neck. "If you want to kiss me, Mikasa, you can just do it anytime, anywhere. You don’t have to wait until I’m drowning."

Her eyes widened in shock at his brazen words, trapping her in her own humor and she slid several steps away to the other direction, chiding, "Behave." Yet, his hand was quick enough to seize her other wrist and he looked at her with a challenging glint in his eyes. "Make me."

The sound of someone clearing their throat from behind placed their banter on hold and the newlyweds turned their heads around only to see the beaming kannushi with a large unlit box-shaped lantern in his hand. Mikasa tried to pull away just so she could hide the mild embarrassment of being caught by an elder yet Reiner was quicker in pulling her body close to his and preventing her frail attempt to escape their shared plight. Seconds later, they could eventually observe several writings on the surface of the toro in the traditional Hizurian language, apparent from its intricate ink works, the second it was offered to their still joined hands.

ミカサ・アッカーマン | ライナー・ブラウン

The kannushi offered his elaboration, "My Lord, Ohime-sama, this sky lantern bears the kanji of your full names. Unlike the smaller ones, this is to celebrate life and new beginnings. It is customary for newlyweds to light this lantern together and release it to the skies above. It signifies the burning of old burdens and sending wishes of good luck in the years to come. When you’re ready, hoist the lantern up and the burning fire will keep it afloat.”

Another voice could be heard coming from the figure approaching, with the younger ones in tow behind him. Lord Takeshi ruffled the top of Gabi’s hair and said, “May the fire burn as fierce and blazing as the flames in your marriage, your Highnesses.”

Gabi looked up at the East Sea admiral and piped in, “But isn’t that dangerous, Lord Takeshi?,” causing all the nearby adults to smile knowingly at the children’s innocence.

“No different than fire and water, the two elements complement each other. It is the same with Lord Reiner and Lady Mikasa. One day, you’d understand, little one.”

“But--”

Mikasa stepped forward and diverted the little girl’s attention. “Would you and Falco like to help us?”

“YES!” Both children clamored in unison and they both scurried towards the newlyweds, marvelling at the intricately decorated sky lantern with each child supporting on one side. The little girl asked, “Do you need help lighting this up?”

“NO!” Surprisingly both Mikasa and Reiner protested at the same time, much to the amusement of the Hizurian natives present. “Anything but lighting it up,” added Reiner with light panic on his face.

Falco shook his head. “Gabi, you’ll burn the whole thing down.” The other adults nodded their heads in agreement, Colt and Lord Takeshi with more zest than the others. They were very aware how dangerous the little girl could be when she has any firearms or anything potentially hazardous in her hands.

After much hassling, however, together they managed to light up the flint and wick, soaked with fuel from the light glass fount mounted to the lantern's main frame. Even the two young adults themselves were fixated at the way the flame slowly consumed the burner, and in its light, Reiner held Mikasa’s gaze tenaciously.

As though on this crowded deck, it was just him and her.

He leered at the person who he had initially known as a stoic, emotionless young girl in Paradis years ago to the warm and affectionate young woman standing next to him. With her hands against the children’s backs, they sent off an enlivened look at the way the sky lantern slowly floated and drifted upwards toward the night skies. They marvelled appreciatively at the spectacular scenery in front of them.

Reiner stared longingly at the woman with the heart-stopping eyes, dazzling smile and a gentle touch as she held his younger cousin endearingly in her arms - no different than how families do.

It eventually dawned on him that the girls are now officially family with each other. They’re family.

They’re HIS family.

It invoked another rush of unfathomable warmth through his heart and that pushed him forward to be closer to where they were.

Stopping short next to his wife, Reiner lowered his head next to Mikasa’s and breathily asked, “Do you think we can sneak down unnoticed right now? Would it be disrespectful?”

She asked him in return, “Now?” Shrugging her shoulders, she looked at the group observing the lanterns’ departure on both the body of water and in the wind.

He nodded discreetly, trying not to be too obvious with his intention and began to pull Mikasa by the hand as he slowly turned around, facing the other end of the deck - right where the steel door is. They had almost succeeded in sneaking away unseen when Akane, however, hurriedly rushed forward and bowed down. “Milord, milady, do you require my assistance to prepare milady for bed?”

“You don’t need to worry about it. I’ll take care of my wife tonight,” dismissed Reiner nonchalantly, causing the Azumabito heiress to hide her face with the sleeves of her kimono, just so she could avoid looking at the already grinning Akane. However, the grin sooner disappeared from the young handmaiden’s face as she turned pale when Reiner added, “Colt would appreciate your company more tonight.”

Stunned, Mikasa reprimanded, “Reiner!” However, the former titan holder had already pulled her towards the direction of the ship’s main entrance and they had almost missed the way Colt had silently sent an understanding nod their way, while he kept Gabi and Falco remained distracted with all the exciting happenings.

The tall Marley-born Eldian ushered his bride towards the hallway, his face almost breaking; threatening to burst into an unexpected laughter when they successfully snuck away and disappeared from the important event on the ship’s deck, as if they were only two lovesick teenagers without burdens or responsibilities of multiple nations on their shoulders.

“You’re unbelievable,” chided Mikasa, who shook her head with feigned annoyance, yet her body moved willingly to his non-verbal command; through his powerful stride, his stance and the grip of his hand on hers as he lead her towards the only stairwell leading down to the private main chamber in the lower deck.

She looked at him with uncertainty when he stopped abruptly and nearly  in surprise when she realized what he was planning to do. He didn’t leave her any room for objection when he immediately heaved her lighter body up into his arms.

“What are you doing??” Mikasa faltered, her hands restless as she tried to dislodge herself from his unsuspecting hold. “Put me down?!”  She couldn’t possibly decide whether it was indeed a question or a demand coming from her. She only received a mysterious smirk from him as a response and a nudge from his shoulders for her to keep her arms around his neck. Only his steps continued on in the hallway, as sturdy and steady as his figure. Even more up close, she could feel herself fascinated with the way his jaw muscle clenched underneath his gruff unshaven skin and the way his eyes looked enticing when they were extremely focused on a primary target. It has always been there when they were still trainees, she’d only ever realized it now. The playfulness when he was a boy was too, ever in existence in this body of a grown man.

There was just something raw and turbulent yet so peculiarly dominant about the man who’s carrying all of her weight in his arms and Mikasa knew she had already withdrawn any resistance she had towards him.

Reiner needed to only walk through the door on her chest she had willingly opened for him, and him alone. Even if she forced herself to lock it, the key has always been with him all along.

He asked, “Isn’t it tradition for a groom to carry his bride to their chamber? But I recalled that she was the one who carried me to the bed instead on our wedding night.” That wicked grin had never left his lips.

Mikasa shrugged once. “You were talking shit about wanting me to kill you. I had to do something.”

He chuckled low and apologized. “Did I? I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“It’s really not funny, Reiner.” She pulled his face to look at her, almost pleading yet more commanding in nature. “Don’t say things like that ever again. It is not pleasing to hear.”

“Then, tell me how could I please my beautiful lady wife instead?” Reiner countered her words teasingly, not caring if there could be anyone passing by or listening in.

Deadpanned, her face was still a clever mask of coolness even when she objected, “By not dropping me would be good.” 

Reiner has reached a point where he’d understood that Mikasa’s calm façade would remain unbreakable until after they get behind closed doors and he stopped short right at the top of the staircase leading all the way down to the private captain’s quarters. “I did say that I’ll never let you go. Ever.”

Her in his arms, Reiner descended upon the stairs carefully and slowly, much to the displeasure of the woman who’d prefer things fast. Lightning fast.

The raven-haired enigma teased, “Sliding down the holding rails would be faster.” 

He clicked his tongue. God, he loves her odd humor. “Anticipation builds better excitement and you, Ohime-sama, will learn how not all things fast are good and certain things are best done slow. Just like our first time this morning.” He just had to end his explanation with a sly wink, rendering her speechless. She bit her lips. Her body is already craving more of him. He would also have noticed by now that she liked hearing him use that specific endearment in her mother’s native language. 

It’s terrifying to admit how much power she’s allowing this man - who used to be frightened of her - to have absolute command over her body, just through his words and his voice alone.

As soon as one of his feet stepped onto the floor of their private wing, Mikasa’s eager lips immediately claimed him in a desperate kiss. Her free hand already slipping through the folds of his inner yukata, her palm rubbing his chest impatiently, nails scraping delicately at his skin, earning her a guttural grunt from his thrumming body.  

Lips still locking, Reiner navigated the silent hallway leading to the entrance of their private chamber. His hand, the one supporting her knees, pried the door open and he kicked it closed behind him efficiently. Without prompting, Mikasa naturally locked the door behind him, causing a short chuckle to be shared as they were both reminded of the unfortunate incident with Gabi earlier during the day.

Once reached, Reiner gradually released her body from his arms in front of the vanity table, never once taking his hold off of her shoulders as they looked forward to the large mirror in front of them.

Five years ago, no one would even have thought of the possibility that they'd be a perfect compatible match with each other, yet today, the vision they’re seeing right now couldn’t have shouted it even louder; she has always been his missing other half the way he is to her. Evident from the way his height was just built perfect for his lips to give her forehead kisses effortlessly and her heart that was big enough to forgive his past sins, accepting his imperfections as he is.

She turned his dark and hopeless world around. She was someone in his past, now present and he’d even dared himself to proclaim as his future.

The moment their eyes clash in the mirror’s reflection, a rush of blood colored her cheeks as once again, they’re in an extremely close proximity, sharing another private moment between them. The eyes that used to show her an empty shell within are now lightened up, alive again as opposed to the ones she’d remembered on their wedding day. They were no longer apparent with a sense of hollowness; they looked gentle and loving. The lips that used to tighten in a constant frown are now graced with a soft smile.

She tilted her to the side, wanting to have a better view of this admirable man’s reflection. Is this how it feels like to be truly seen by someone? 

The tiny rose gold leaves of her Tsumami Kanzashi chimed with every movement of her body, sending a short hypnotic rhythm into the cold evening breeze, lulling his senses before overtaking his needs because he just couldn’t take his damn eyes off of this woman. 

Mikasa’s hands reached out to the headpiece, wanting to detach the whole set from her hair but his hand stopped hers. “No, keep it on. Please?” He mumbled, wary of how such a trivial request may sound to her. Yet, the way he averted his intense gaze shyly by burrowing his nose into the tiny spot behind her ear and the low, ensuing whisper of his elusive demand confirmed her suspicions. “I -- I like seeing you wearing it.”

His spontaneous request, though it took her slightly by surprise, did not faze her at all. She nodded quietly, already slipping the geta off her feet and proceeded to pull at the strings holding her obi together with his assistance. As he helped pull the waistcloth away, his fingers took the time to explore her hard curves, reacquainting and memorizing the way they felt against his palms at the same time.

Reiner undid the side ties of her kimono and removed the heavy intricately-drawn fabric away from her lithe body. His larger hands roamed against the thin flimsy inner kimono and relished in the soft yet firm outline of her well-built figure, causing her to moan a little from his advances. He then swept aside the tendrils of her raven tresses away from her nape, breathing in her narcotically sweet scent; one from the petals of an exotic flower. By now, it had become a familiar impression, no different than a brand on his brain that’d drive him instantaneously heady with need for her. With his hands around her waist, he pressed his lips on her skin while  pressing her body forward against the table. The second his jaw took a tiny bite out of her neck, he could hear a low sigh and feel a quick tremor pulsing through her body from his simple touch.

He spoke into her ear in a hushed tone, “Tadaima.”

Her breath stalled, she turned herself around and asked, “What did you say just now?”

Cupping her cheek in one hand, he repeated, “Tadaima.”

Surely but slowly, she nodded, “Okaerinasai.” Tears began to pool inside her lids that she wasn’t fast enough to stop a lone stray droplet from trickling down his hand, causing him to grab her face in sheer panic. “Shit,” he cried, “Did I say it wrong?? Lord Takeshi said it’s meant to make the wife happy not burst into tears!”

Mikasa couldn’t find the right words to express her emotions that she leaned against his broad shoulders and muttered instead, “That’s how my father would walk through the door and greet my mother every day. I still remember how their faces lit up and looked so much in love every time.”

Such a small gesture was her family tradition that she never thought she would get to experience in her lifetime.

Reiner held her closer. “I’ll say it to you. Everyday. Although I don’t think I could even be half the man your father ever was. I... didn’t grow up with one.” He pulled himself back just enough to gaze deeply into her eyes, lips hovering over hers before pledging, “But I’ll never stop trying for you.” The warmth of his breath, weaved with deeper thoughts and promises behind his words, sent her self-control spiraling out of her body, leaving a primal aggression in its wake instead.

She seized his lips once more, yearning to be one with him again.

The sounds of merry, raucous laughter and joyful chatters could be heard coming from the main deck up above but they were too far lost with each other that the rest of the world could go on without them. 

** // Explicit Scene Alert \\ **

Swallowing hard, she slipped her hands behind his back, urgently undoing the chords holding his haori together and pushed them off his body, letting the kimono jacket fall against the foot of their berth carelessly. His kimono and under yukata were next to be discarded with his help and she didn’t allow even a second to be wasted as she ripped his obi belt off with only his hakama remaining on his body.

Reiner stopped her just before she could tear the last piece of clothing away and motioned for her to rest her full weight on the surface of the dressing table. He hunched over her and whispered into her lips, “You’re so precious.”

With a hand on her waist, he pulled on the strings of her inner yukata and peeled the cloth open, loving the way the silk fell down her shoulders in a tantalizing stream of fabrics. He could feel an appreciative grin forming the minute her full body was unveiled in its purest form as he too, realized that she hadn't been wearing any smallclothes underneath it all. The whole time.

He’d seen all of her in the showers this morning but he still felt that every inch of her body was still undiscovered to him.

Starting from her knees, his hands skimmed along her impressive thighs, savoring the feel of her strong well-trained muscles in his palms before clenching against her supple, shapely torso. His thumbs fiddled with the outline of the sculpted lines on her abdomen, rewarding him with a sharp intake of breath, the biting of her lips and the pebbled buds of her breasts, ripe for his indulgence.

Exquisite. Powerful. Dangerous. Everything that makes her - turned out to be what he needed, no different than a drug to wash away the bleakness and the pain. She gave him a high, she helped him forget. She made him feel that he’s invincible.